Cobra Strike Force (2023) Movie Script
(Eerie music)
(Eerie upbeat music)
(Eerie upbeat music continues)
(Eerie upbeat music continues)
(Eerie upbeat music continues)
(Eerie music)
(Upbeat music)
(Gun firing)
Nice job, ladies.
I think we're ready for tonight.
Well, I'm always ready.
Well, what's the plan, anyway?
Jeff stark, the CEO of the la Plaza
is on vacation in the
Bahamas for the next week.
Hmm.
His backup of customer
accounts is on a flash drive
in his office, and it's
worth nearly $1 billion.
Fuck, yeah.
(Laughing)
Why do you want his flash drive?
(Scoffs)
Because it's worth over $1 billion.
(Gun fires)
And tonight is the perfect
night to hit the place
because of the holiday,
there will be few, if any employees around.
That's genius.
What are you gonna do with the money?
(Scoffs)
Well, for one thing, we
can buy what we want.
We can hire a few macho men
to do our dirty work,
and continue our reign of terror. (Laughs)
And we could relax
and sip tequilas on the beach,
and you can get to those
implants you were talking about.
The implants you wanted me to get.
(Laughs)
- Yeah.
(Static buzzing)
The viper gang, led by a
woman known only as the queen,
continues her reign of
terror on Los Angeles.
Local authorities have
recently released details,
and what was dubbed in the headlines
as the most brutal
massacre the city has seen
in over five decades.
Accompanied by sidekicks macho,
and, hmm, bitch face,
they are still believed
to be at large in the city.
(Eerie music)
(Sighs)
(Can thuds)
(Eerie upbeat music)
(Car honks)
(Car honks)
Tonight is the night.
Freedom from all of this city trash.
Tonight, you'll get the
life that you deserve.
(Sighs)
A sexy woman like you deserves the world.
(Eerie upbeat music)
Someone, bring me my boots, stat.
(Car engine whirring)
(Car honking)
(Lighter clicks)
(Car honks)
(Inhales) (Exhales)
All right, you got this.
You're only asking her out,
you're not asking to kill
her baby or some shit.
(Cars honking)
What's up, sexy? What's shaking?
Jesus, so fuckin' '90s.
(Car honks)
(Sighs)
What's up?
You, me, dinner at eight?
(Sighs)
Jesus, no wonder I can't get a bitch.
(Inhales)
(Cars honking)
(Car door thuds)
God damn, this is some bomb ass shit.
(Gentle music) (Keyboard clacking)
Leslie, how's that report coming along?
Oh, yeah, I'll have
it on your desk in 10.
Great, thanks so much.
You're a great employee.
Thank you, I try my best.
No problem.
Dude, come on, I,
I believe in you.
The worst she can do is say no.
And what if she's laughs at me, huh?
This isn't high school.
I mean, if she's gonna turn you down
it's gonna be professionally.
She'll probably tell you to fuck off.
(Sighs) Easy for you
to say, you married outta
high school, now who the fuck does that?
Yes that should now be helpful.
(Door knocking)
Hey, June?
Okay, great, talk to you soon.
Thank you so much.
(Phone clatters)
Yes, Bobby?
[Bobby] You doing anything?
Well, my niece is having
her seventh birthday party
and then I'm picking up
her unicorn cake on my way.
Well, if anything,
enjoy your niece's birthday party, then.
Save me a piece of cake.
Stupidest.
(Eerie upbeat music)
(Gun fires)
(Screams)
All right, listen up,
and no one will get hurt.
Hands where we can see 'em.
Whoa, whoa, what's going on here?
Macho, show him who's boss.
Get up, open your mouth.
Open.
[Bobby] Yo, leave him alone!
We're not here for you.
We're here for your boss, Jeff starker.
He's the one who's on
vacation in The Bahamas.
While you all slave here.
He owes me something and
I'm not leaving until I get it.
I'm the one who's in
charge while he's away.
What is it you're looking for?
Something very priceless.
Something very special.
It's in his lock box.
He always has the key with him.
(Scoffs) Do you think a
little key is going to stop me?
It's in his office.
I can take you there.
Okay, that's more like it.
You two, hold down
the fort until I get back.
[Bitch face] You got it.
(Exciting music)
We interrupt this stream to
bring you an emergency alert.
The viper gang strikes again.
This time at the la Plaza
in downtown Los Angeles
police received a call
from within an office
located on the third floor. (Grunts)
The unidentified woman pleaded for help,
but due to the recent (Gun thuds)
Defunding of the Los Angeles police force,
they may be too understaffed to handle
the situation at this time. (Sighs)
They urge citizens to remain
calm and to shelter in place.
(Phone ringing)
Hello?
Yo man, are you watching the news?
Yeah, I just saw that.
Hey, isn't that la Plaza place
where you have your security gig?
It was my security gig,
but I got laid off with all the defunding
and the inflation and they
said they couldn't afford
an overnight guard anymore.
And now I don't have a job.
And they have fancy AI cameras.
Well, (laughs) Yeah, you know.
You know the thing with them AI cameras,
is they don't mean a thing.
They don't mean shit, if
you don't have any pigs
to come save your fuckin' ass, dude.
What are you talking about?
All I'm saying, dude is,
I think this is a job for
the cobra strike force.
(Drink spews)
The fuck?
You heard me!
Let's go get Mac's ass
and blast these fucking bitches away, dude.
(Sighs) There are innocent
people in that building.
I know, but-
there's no buts, dude.
We made a pact in Iraq,
cobra strike force forever,
you mother fuckers!
Whenever there is danger
and nobody to stop it,
who you gonna call?
Cobra strike force.
Damn straight you mother fucker! (Sighs)
We be at your place 20 hundred hours.
My place?
Not super clean right now, but would it-
get ready to fuck some shit up!
(Phone chimes off)
Oh, wow, wow.
(Phone thuds)
(Claps)
(Laughing)
(Exciting music)
(Exciting music continues)
(Exciting music continues)
(Exciting music continues)
(Exciting music continues)
(Grunts)
(Panting)
(Guns firing) (Bombs exploding)
(Bomb explodes)
(Guns firing)
(Sighs)
This is gonna work.
This isn't gonna be like last time.
This is not, Iraq.
You're not gonna get shot.
You're not gonna get blown up.
You're ready for this.
(Panting)
(Door slams)
(Doorknob clattering)
[Rolfe] Yo man, get your shit ready.
What?
[Rolfe] We're gonna go fight
some fucking crimes, man.
Oh, what? Who-
[rolfe] Dude, - I'm com-
- get the fuck over here.
- What, what, I'm coming,
I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming.
Oh, oh I'm coming, ugh.
(Exciting music)
(Gun clatters)
(Exciting music continues)
We're back.
(Groans)
(Sighing)
Just when I think I'm out,
they pull me back in.
(Sighs)
I don't wanna do this.
I just, I just don't have it in me.
I'm just happy drinking,
going to strip clubs,
gambling away my money,
living this life of debauchery, but no.
We gotta save hostages.
We gotta, (sighs) We gotta
fight for the American way.
We've, (sighs) I can't do this.
I'm not in a condition to do this.
Look at me, look at me. (Hands slapping)
Look at me, look at me.
I can't even look at me.
I'm gonna do it.
That's right.
I'm gonna gather up all my courage.
I'm gonna get some fucking brass balls.
I'm gonna go in that
building and fulfill this mission.
I'm gonna get together with my brothers.
Gonna grab my guns, gonna
grab my gear, and yeah.
The old Mac is coming back.
That's right.
Get ready.
We're gonna fight for the American way.
And what's good for this country.
(Exhales and grunts)
This coffee's still warm.
Who's fucking desk is this?
None of you have anything to say?
(Mug thuds)
There's someone else in here with us.
(Gun clicking)
Cobra strike force, mother fucker.
(Doorbell chimes)
You ready, mother fucker?
(Laughs) I guess so.
- Woo! Let's do this.
- Yeah! Fuck yeah!
- Yeah, come here!
- All right!
All right, let's go! (All cheering)
Oh, fuck. (Panting)
(Car engine whirring)
(Door slams)
(Heavy metal music)
So we got a plan?
I say we go in like a bat outta hell.
Bullet's flying.
Let's keep the flying
bullets to a minimum this time.
I'd like to survive this.
Yeah, dumb ass.
- [Bill] Hey, listen up.
- Stop it!
Hey!
All right, so the back door is
probably gonna be unlocked.
The last employee doesn't lock up
until they leave for night.
It's still early enough,
there's gonna be people working inside.
Getting in won't be a problem.
Viper gang's gonna be monitoring
the security cameras, all right?
So we're gonna go up the back stairwell
and avoid the elevators.
I'll tell you what, I cannot wait
to kick some bitch's asses, right?
[Bill] Hell yeah.
- Yeah. Fuck yeah!
- [Mac] Come here, yeah!
(All shouting and cheering)
[Mac] Speed limit,
speed limit, speed limit.
[Bill] Speed limit, slowing down,
bring it back down, got it.
(Heavy metal music)
(Heels clacking)
(Gun firing) (Grunts)
What's was that?
Never you mind. (June screams)
Just keep going.
Don't fucking move.
(Heels clacking)
What happened?
Delivery guy.
What did he even do?
Fucker would have
narced, I had to waste him.
Somebody's time of the month.
At least I still get my period.
I told you to stay fucking put.
(Suspenseful music)
[The queen] Where is it?
It's usually under the desk.
Let me check.
[The queen] It better be.
- [June] It is.
- [The queen] Yes.
(Junes sighs)
Move out of the way!
(June panting)
[June] What's so
important in that box anyway?
Information.
A back up flash drive
containing the passwords
and personal information of
over 3 million datascape users.
Giving me access to
over $1 billion in crypto.
The fate of my future is in this box.
(Dramatic music)
(Box slams)
(June screaming) You didn't know?
You knew he took it with him, didn't you?
No, I didn't know, I don't
know where he took it!
(Indistinct screaming)
Let's go! (June crying)
Okay, so it's locked.
But, don't worry, I used to work here,
now I wrote the security code.
[Mac] Come on, bill.
Bill? (Buttons beeping)
Got it!
[Rolfe] Oh, all right! Okay!
Yeah? (All chattering)
I told you we could get in.
- [Mac] Okay, thank you, bill.
[Bobby] Thank you.
[Rolfe] I'll give you that.
[Mac] All right, let's go.
(Eerie music)
(Heels clacking)
But I did call the police.
They're not gonna send anybody.
This office is in the fucking ghetto.
I bet they won't even
send a the patrol car.
You know, I would've
expected this kinda behavior
from one of those mother fuckers out there,
but not a sister.
Bye bye.
(Screams) (Gun firing)
Oh, Jesus! (Screaming and crying)
Don't be so weak, woman.
Just keep going.
(Suspenseful music)
Where's B at?
(Scoffs) No, I was gonna ask you.
That must have been her down the hall.
- [Bill] Going somewhere?
- Ooh.
Shit, you guys got me.
Where's the other two viper hoes at?
Over there.
Your ass is gonna take us down there.
Let's go!
(Crying)
I just wanna go home.
It's gonna be okay.
We're gonna get through this, okay?
I knew something bad was going to happen.
I could feel it when I
left for work.(Sniffling)
And I have a bad feeling
this is going to end really bad.
(Crying)
Don't overthink it, okay?
Just do everything they say, all right?
And we will both get to go home.
(Crying)
Precisely.
Do exactly what we say and you'll go free.
And for starters, stop your crying!
(Whimpering)
You are perpetuating a negative stereotype
and I do not appreciate it.
Okay, I'm sorry I'm just scared.
Just help us with this
process and you'll go free.
You promise?
Cross my heart.
See, I'm putting my gun away.
You know, you really are beautiful.
[Janet] Thank you.
Have you ever modeled?
Uh, no.
I could not bring myself to do that.
What a shame.
You should use your
beauty to get what you want.
I bet you have these stupid
men falling all over you
all the time.
Never the good kind of man.
(Scoffs) That doesn't matter.
Men are only good for
one thing anyway. (Laughs)
If you know what I mean.
(Laughs)
So, do you have a man?
No, not at the moment.
Perhaps, a woman?
Nope, no, nothing like that.
I just broke up with my ex.
I'm trying to, I'm still
trying to figure out
my direction in life.
Well, you should join us.
We could use a fourth
wheel in this train wreck.
That's okay, really.
I have a family, a daughter.
I couldn't lose that.
Okay, well, if you change your mind,
you know where to find me.
Just watch the news. (Laughs)
What the hell is this?
So you're the one they called the queen?
And who the hell are you?
I'm cobra strike force.
(Laughing)
We're also the ones that are gonna
put an end to this little game.
This game isn't over until
I get what I'm looking for.
Whatever it is you're looking for,
you don't need that.
You're dead weight at this point.
I mean, whatever it is you're looking for,
probably, in today's day and age,
you can't create a hostage
situation, if you want.
Please just, just let us go.
[Macho] Shut the fuck up.
Let them go, and we'll help you find
whatever it is you're looking for.
Well shit. (Hand slams)
What's in it for you?
That's a tough...
Take 50/50 of whatever it is you're trying
to get your hot little hands on.
(Suspenseful music)
Okay, you got a deal.
Macho, let him go.
Are you shitting me?
After all of this?
Do what I say, or you'll pay the price.
Yes, queen.
(Eerie upbeat music)
You're a bitch.
(Laughs)
(Gun fires) (Flesh squelches)
No! (Screaming and crying)
You wanna test me?
Now, get the hell out of here.
(Shoes pattering) (Crying and muttering)
[Janet] What do we do?
Run!
(Screaming)
[Tad] That's it, move
it, move it, move it!
First things first,
how about we all lose the guns.
No way in fucking
hell that's gonna happen.
It's okay, these losers
have joined the wind.
Look.
(Gun thuds)
(Guns clattering)
What kind of a name is viper gang, anyway?
(The queen scoffs) (Laughing)
[The queen] Better than
some washed up sounding
strike force shit.
Oh lady, it was the 80's.
(Laughing)
So what are you really after?
A flash drive, worth
nearly $1 billion in crypto.
Fuck yeah.
Do you even know what it looks like?
Don't fuck with me.
It's a flash drive.
Small and plastic.
Like a thing you put
between your legs? (Laughs)
(The queen scoffs)
I thought it was funny.
So wait it wasn't
even in the the lock box?
Stay with us too, macho.
No, these losers are gonna help us find it.
But what if it's not even here.
(Scoffs) It's here, I know it.
I mean who takes a
flash drive from their job
on vacation to The Bahamas with them.
I know it's here and these
guys are gonna help us find it.
(Cars honking)
(Upbeat music)
[Rolfe] Do you think
they looked in here already?
I don't fucking know,
why don't we just search this and move on?
You know,
we're all alone down here.
Gee, I hadn't noticed.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, look.
If you actually get
caught and are arrested,
we're talking a minimum
lifetime sentence, right, at least?
Christ, just shut up.
I'm just trying to have
a conversation, okay?
(Hat thuds)
(Nuts crunching) (Groans)
My first name is bitch for a reason.
Maybe they should just call me nutcracker.
(Rolfe whimpering)
(Gasping)
- Mine.
(Gun clicking)
Correction, mine.
(Sighs) Damn it.
I should have expected this.
You are making a big mistake Mr.
Now you sound like my ex-wife,
so I'm gonna say the same thing to you
that I did to her when I wanted a divorce.
Shut up and hand it over! (Screams)
You son of a bitch.
(Laughing)
Come on, let's grab the others.
Macho, bitch face, I found it.
What the fuck is going on here?
What the hell?
[Bill] The fuck is going on here, is
shut the fuck up and sit down.
Fuck! I don't believe this.
(Whimpering) Fucker!
There's no sense in trying to escape.
Those are boy scout knots,
and men are always gonna
be more powerful than women.
You know if I wasn't
tied to these fucking ropes
I'd kill ya.
I've got the chargers in the store room.
T-minus two minutes.
(Laughing)
You're going to blow us up?
Lady, every good 80's movie
has a big explosion at the end.
Duh!
(Viper gang gasping)
You're being fucking dramatic.
Hey, we're cleaning scum
like you up off the streets.
We're making the world a better place.
Keep telling yourself that.
You're no better than us with
your stupid good-guy badge.
You make me sick.
That makes two of us.
(The queen gasping)
Because the thought
of your ugly ass (The queen screams)
Being sprayed all over downtown Los Angeles
is probably gonna make me stick too.
I'm already throwing up inside
my mouth thinking about it.
(The queen whimpering)
Blea!
(Cobra strike force laughing and cheering)
Let's get the fuck outta here!
- Cobra strike force!
- Yeah, woo!
No!
(Viper gang whimpering)
Shut up, and just try to get loose.
I'm trying, this is it.
Oh!
No, keep trying.
- Love you, bitch.
- No.
(Timer beeping)
- Oh no!
- No!
(Glass shattering)
(Helicopter blades whirring)
Hey, we'll be taken.
We better get outta here man.
Looks like somebody noticed the explosion.
Oh, fuck.
Yeah, let's go, let's go guys.
Come on let's go, go!
(Seagulls squawking) (Tranquil music)
(Waves crashing)
Thanks babe.
(Sighing)
I can't fucking believe
we got away with this shit, man. (Laughs)
Yeah, I, wow.
Don't underestimate cobra strike force.
(All laughing)
Fuck yeah.
- Yeah.
- Hell yeah, man.
Hey guys, to cobra strike force, right?
- [All] Cheers!
- Salute.
(All laughing)
(Lips smacking)
Hmm.
Hey, this taste a
little different to you?
(Throat hacking)
- I mean, yeah,
maybe a little.
This shit ain't right, dude.
This is not, something's not right.
There's something in the drink.
(Throat hacking)
(All choking)
[Macho] Hi, you all need a refill?
No, you good?
You won't get away with this,
you bitch.
(Chair thudding)
(Groaning) (Chair scraping)
Gotcha.
(Laughing) And never
underestimate the intelligence
of the viper gang.
(Upbeat music)
(Car honking)
Ready, baby?
You got it?
Of course I did.
I told you it would work.
Yeah, as always.
To a better life.
(Laughing) (Cars honking)
(Car engine revving) (Upbeat music)
(Phone ringing) (Dramatic music)
(Monitor beeping)
(Patients coughing)
(Baby crying)
(Monitor beeping)
Oh, right, I'll kill them all.
Ow, oh.
(Dramatic music) (Monitor beeps)
(Grunting)
This means war.
(Eerie upbeat music)
(Eerie upbeat music continues)
(Eerie upbeat music continues)
(Eerie upbeat music continues)
(Eerie upbeat music continues)
(Eerie upbeat music continues)
[Singer] I'm obsessed, hallucinations,
you will never know.
(Heavy metal music)
(Heavy metal music continues)
Secret cults of the apocalypse
rise up from the shadows today
world spread panic and havoc
torture on display
fingers pointed to the sky
hell's fury down from above
last moments of this sad existence
seeking out ones you love
the weak brought to their knees
pray for death
enemies closing in
pray for death
revelation shall condemn
pray for death
this pain will never end
pray for death
a million children
cower in the trenches
strapped to a gun
conscripted by politicians
who sacrifice our sons
hydrochloric acid bombs
melt flesh to the bone
mechanized murder machines
to the wolves they're thrown
(Heavy metal music)
Eyes bleed gasping for air
pray for death
left to die in no man's land
pray for death
desecration of mankind
pray for death
a bloody war that never ends
pray for death
atheists and non-believers
sudden change of heart
(Eerie upbeat music)
(Eerie upbeat music continues)
(Eerie upbeat music continues)
(Eerie upbeat music continues)
(Eerie music)
(Upbeat music)
(Gun firing)
Nice job, ladies.
I think we're ready for tonight.
Well, I'm always ready.
Well, what's the plan, anyway?
Jeff stark, the CEO of the la Plaza
is on vacation in the
Bahamas for the next week.
Hmm.
His backup of customer
accounts is on a flash drive
in his office, and it's
worth nearly $1 billion.
Fuck, yeah.
(Laughing)
Why do you want his flash drive?
(Scoffs)
Because it's worth over $1 billion.
(Gun fires)
And tonight is the perfect
night to hit the place
because of the holiday,
there will be few, if any employees around.
That's genius.
What are you gonna do with the money?
(Scoffs)
Well, for one thing, we
can buy what we want.
We can hire a few macho men
to do our dirty work,
and continue our reign of terror. (Laughs)
And we could relax
and sip tequilas on the beach,
and you can get to those
implants you were talking about.
The implants you wanted me to get.
(Laughs)
- Yeah.
(Static buzzing)
The viper gang, led by a
woman known only as the queen,
continues her reign of
terror on Los Angeles.
Local authorities have
recently released details,
and what was dubbed in the headlines
as the most brutal
massacre the city has seen
in over five decades.
Accompanied by sidekicks macho,
and, hmm, bitch face,
they are still believed
to be at large in the city.
(Eerie music)
(Sighs)
(Can thuds)
(Eerie upbeat music)
(Car honks)
(Car honks)
Tonight is the night.
Freedom from all of this city trash.
Tonight, you'll get the
life that you deserve.
(Sighs)
A sexy woman like you deserves the world.
(Eerie upbeat music)
Someone, bring me my boots, stat.
(Car engine whirring)
(Car honking)
(Lighter clicks)
(Car honks)
(Inhales) (Exhales)
All right, you got this.
You're only asking her out,
you're not asking to kill
her baby or some shit.
(Cars honking)
What's up, sexy? What's shaking?
Jesus, so fuckin' '90s.
(Car honks)
(Sighs)
What's up?
You, me, dinner at eight?
(Sighs)
Jesus, no wonder I can't get a bitch.
(Inhales)
(Cars honking)
(Car door thuds)
God damn, this is some bomb ass shit.
(Gentle music) (Keyboard clacking)
Leslie, how's that report coming along?
Oh, yeah, I'll have
it on your desk in 10.
Great, thanks so much.
You're a great employee.
Thank you, I try my best.
No problem.
Dude, come on, I,
I believe in you.
The worst she can do is say no.
And what if she's laughs at me, huh?
This isn't high school.
I mean, if she's gonna turn you down
it's gonna be professionally.
She'll probably tell you to fuck off.
(Sighs) Easy for you
to say, you married outta
high school, now who the fuck does that?
Yes that should now be helpful.
(Door knocking)
Hey, June?
Okay, great, talk to you soon.
Thank you so much.
(Phone clatters)
Yes, Bobby?
[Bobby] You doing anything?
Well, my niece is having
her seventh birthday party
and then I'm picking up
her unicorn cake on my way.
Well, if anything,
enjoy your niece's birthday party, then.
Save me a piece of cake.
Stupidest.
(Eerie upbeat music)
(Gun fires)
(Screams)
All right, listen up,
and no one will get hurt.
Hands where we can see 'em.
Whoa, whoa, what's going on here?
Macho, show him who's boss.
Get up, open your mouth.
Open.
[Bobby] Yo, leave him alone!
We're not here for you.
We're here for your boss, Jeff starker.
He's the one who's on
vacation in The Bahamas.
While you all slave here.
He owes me something and
I'm not leaving until I get it.
I'm the one who's in
charge while he's away.
What is it you're looking for?
Something very priceless.
Something very special.
It's in his lock box.
He always has the key with him.
(Scoffs) Do you think a
little key is going to stop me?
It's in his office.
I can take you there.
Okay, that's more like it.
You two, hold down
the fort until I get back.
[Bitch face] You got it.
(Exciting music)
We interrupt this stream to
bring you an emergency alert.
The viper gang strikes again.
This time at the la Plaza
in downtown Los Angeles
police received a call
from within an office
located on the third floor. (Grunts)
The unidentified woman pleaded for help,
but due to the recent (Gun thuds)
Defunding of the Los Angeles police force,
they may be too understaffed to handle
the situation at this time. (Sighs)
They urge citizens to remain
calm and to shelter in place.
(Phone ringing)
Hello?
Yo man, are you watching the news?
Yeah, I just saw that.
Hey, isn't that la Plaza place
where you have your security gig?
It was my security gig,
but I got laid off with all the defunding
and the inflation and they
said they couldn't afford
an overnight guard anymore.
And now I don't have a job.
And they have fancy AI cameras.
Well, (laughs) Yeah, you know.
You know the thing with them AI cameras,
is they don't mean a thing.
They don't mean shit, if
you don't have any pigs
to come save your fuckin' ass, dude.
What are you talking about?
All I'm saying, dude is,
I think this is a job for
the cobra strike force.
(Drink spews)
The fuck?
You heard me!
Let's go get Mac's ass
and blast these fucking bitches away, dude.
(Sighs) There are innocent
people in that building.
I know, but-
there's no buts, dude.
We made a pact in Iraq,
cobra strike force forever,
you mother fuckers!
Whenever there is danger
and nobody to stop it,
who you gonna call?
Cobra strike force.
Damn straight you mother fucker! (Sighs)
We be at your place 20 hundred hours.
My place?
Not super clean right now, but would it-
get ready to fuck some shit up!
(Phone chimes off)
Oh, wow, wow.
(Phone thuds)
(Claps)
(Laughing)
(Exciting music)
(Exciting music continues)
(Exciting music continues)
(Exciting music continues)
(Exciting music continues)
(Grunts)
(Panting)
(Guns firing) (Bombs exploding)
(Bomb explodes)
(Guns firing)
(Sighs)
This is gonna work.
This isn't gonna be like last time.
This is not, Iraq.
You're not gonna get shot.
You're not gonna get blown up.
You're ready for this.
(Panting)
(Door slams)
(Doorknob clattering)
[Rolfe] Yo man, get your shit ready.
What?
[Rolfe] We're gonna go fight
some fucking crimes, man.
Oh, what? Who-
[rolfe] Dude, - I'm com-
- get the fuck over here.
- What, what, I'm coming,
I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming.
Oh, oh I'm coming, ugh.
(Exciting music)
(Gun clatters)
(Exciting music continues)
We're back.
(Groans)
(Sighing)
Just when I think I'm out,
they pull me back in.
(Sighs)
I don't wanna do this.
I just, I just don't have it in me.
I'm just happy drinking,
going to strip clubs,
gambling away my money,
living this life of debauchery, but no.
We gotta save hostages.
We gotta, (sighs) We gotta
fight for the American way.
We've, (sighs) I can't do this.
I'm not in a condition to do this.
Look at me, look at me. (Hands slapping)
Look at me, look at me.
I can't even look at me.
I'm gonna do it.
That's right.
I'm gonna gather up all my courage.
I'm gonna get some fucking brass balls.
I'm gonna go in that
building and fulfill this mission.
I'm gonna get together with my brothers.
Gonna grab my guns, gonna
grab my gear, and yeah.
The old Mac is coming back.
That's right.
Get ready.
We're gonna fight for the American way.
And what's good for this country.
(Exhales and grunts)
This coffee's still warm.
Who's fucking desk is this?
None of you have anything to say?
(Mug thuds)
There's someone else in here with us.
(Gun clicking)
Cobra strike force, mother fucker.
(Doorbell chimes)
You ready, mother fucker?
(Laughs) I guess so.
- Woo! Let's do this.
- Yeah! Fuck yeah!
- Yeah, come here!
- All right!
All right, let's go! (All cheering)
Oh, fuck. (Panting)
(Car engine whirring)
(Door slams)
(Heavy metal music)
So we got a plan?
I say we go in like a bat outta hell.
Bullet's flying.
Let's keep the flying
bullets to a minimum this time.
I'd like to survive this.
Yeah, dumb ass.
- [Bill] Hey, listen up.
- Stop it!
Hey!
All right, so the back door is
probably gonna be unlocked.
The last employee doesn't lock up
until they leave for night.
It's still early enough,
there's gonna be people working inside.
Getting in won't be a problem.
Viper gang's gonna be monitoring
the security cameras, all right?
So we're gonna go up the back stairwell
and avoid the elevators.
I'll tell you what, I cannot wait
to kick some bitch's asses, right?
[Bill] Hell yeah.
- Yeah. Fuck yeah!
- [Mac] Come here, yeah!
(All shouting and cheering)
[Mac] Speed limit,
speed limit, speed limit.
[Bill] Speed limit, slowing down,
bring it back down, got it.
(Heavy metal music)
(Heels clacking)
(Gun firing) (Grunts)
What's was that?
Never you mind. (June screams)
Just keep going.
Don't fucking move.
(Heels clacking)
What happened?
Delivery guy.
What did he even do?
Fucker would have
narced, I had to waste him.
Somebody's time of the month.
At least I still get my period.
I told you to stay fucking put.
(Suspenseful music)
[The queen] Where is it?
It's usually under the desk.
Let me check.
[The queen] It better be.
- [June] It is.
- [The queen] Yes.
(Junes sighs)
Move out of the way!
(June panting)
[June] What's so
important in that box anyway?
Information.
A back up flash drive
containing the passwords
and personal information of
over 3 million datascape users.
Giving me access to
over $1 billion in crypto.
The fate of my future is in this box.
(Dramatic music)
(Box slams)
(June screaming) You didn't know?
You knew he took it with him, didn't you?
No, I didn't know, I don't
know where he took it!
(Indistinct screaming)
Let's go! (June crying)
Okay, so it's locked.
But, don't worry, I used to work here,
now I wrote the security code.
[Mac] Come on, bill.
Bill? (Buttons beeping)
Got it!
[Rolfe] Oh, all right! Okay!
Yeah? (All chattering)
I told you we could get in.
- [Mac] Okay, thank you, bill.
[Bobby] Thank you.
[Rolfe] I'll give you that.
[Mac] All right, let's go.
(Eerie music)
(Heels clacking)
But I did call the police.
They're not gonna send anybody.
This office is in the fucking ghetto.
I bet they won't even
send a the patrol car.
You know, I would've
expected this kinda behavior
from one of those mother fuckers out there,
but not a sister.
Bye bye.
(Screams) (Gun firing)
Oh, Jesus! (Screaming and crying)
Don't be so weak, woman.
Just keep going.
(Suspenseful music)
Where's B at?
(Scoffs) No, I was gonna ask you.
That must have been her down the hall.
- [Bill] Going somewhere?
- Ooh.
Shit, you guys got me.
Where's the other two viper hoes at?
Over there.
Your ass is gonna take us down there.
Let's go!
(Crying)
I just wanna go home.
It's gonna be okay.
We're gonna get through this, okay?
I knew something bad was going to happen.
I could feel it when I
left for work.(Sniffling)
And I have a bad feeling
this is going to end really bad.
(Crying)
Don't overthink it, okay?
Just do everything they say, all right?
And we will both get to go home.
(Crying)
Precisely.
Do exactly what we say and you'll go free.
And for starters, stop your crying!
(Whimpering)
You are perpetuating a negative stereotype
and I do not appreciate it.
Okay, I'm sorry I'm just scared.
Just help us with this
process and you'll go free.
You promise?
Cross my heart.
See, I'm putting my gun away.
You know, you really are beautiful.
[Janet] Thank you.
Have you ever modeled?
Uh, no.
I could not bring myself to do that.
What a shame.
You should use your
beauty to get what you want.
I bet you have these stupid
men falling all over you
all the time.
Never the good kind of man.
(Scoffs) That doesn't matter.
Men are only good for
one thing anyway. (Laughs)
If you know what I mean.
(Laughs)
So, do you have a man?
No, not at the moment.
Perhaps, a woman?
Nope, no, nothing like that.
I just broke up with my ex.
I'm trying to, I'm still
trying to figure out
my direction in life.
Well, you should join us.
We could use a fourth
wheel in this train wreck.
That's okay, really.
I have a family, a daughter.
I couldn't lose that.
Okay, well, if you change your mind,
you know where to find me.
Just watch the news. (Laughs)
What the hell is this?
So you're the one they called the queen?
And who the hell are you?
I'm cobra strike force.
(Laughing)
We're also the ones that are gonna
put an end to this little game.
This game isn't over until
I get what I'm looking for.
Whatever it is you're looking for,
you don't need that.
You're dead weight at this point.
I mean, whatever it is you're looking for,
probably, in today's day and age,
you can't create a hostage
situation, if you want.
Please just, just let us go.
[Macho] Shut the fuck up.
Let them go, and we'll help you find
whatever it is you're looking for.
Well shit. (Hand slams)
What's in it for you?
That's a tough...
Take 50/50 of whatever it is you're trying
to get your hot little hands on.
(Suspenseful music)
Okay, you got a deal.
Macho, let him go.
Are you shitting me?
After all of this?
Do what I say, or you'll pay the price.
Yes, queen.
(Eerie upbeat music)
You're a bitch.
(Laughs)
(Gun fires) (Flesh squelches)
No! (Screaming and crying)
You wanna test me?
Now, get the hell out of here.
(Shoes pattering) (Crying and muttering)
[Janet] What do we do?
Run!
(Screaming)
[Tad] That's it, move
it, move it, move it!
First things first,
how about we all lose the guns.
No way in fucking
hell that's gonna happen.
It's okay, these losers
have joined the wind.
Look.
(Gun thuds)
(Guns clattering)
What kind of a name is viper gang, anyway?
(The queen scoffs) (Laughing)
[The queen] Better than
some washed up sounding
strike force shit.
Oh lady, it was the 80's.
(Laughing)
So what are you really after?
A flash drive, worth
nearly $1 billion in crypto.
Fuck yeah.
Do you even know what it looks like?
Don't fuck with me.
It's a flash drive.
Small and plastic.
Like a thing you put
between your legs? (Laughs)
(The queen scoffs)
I thought it was funny.
So wait it wasn't
even in the the lock box?
Stay with us too, macho.
No, these losers are gonna help us find it.
But what if it's not even here.
(Scoffs) It's here, I know it.
I mean who takes a
flash drive from their job
on vacation to The Bahamas with them.
I know it's here and these
guys are gonna help us find it.
(Cars honking)
(Upbeat music)
[Rolfe] Do you think
they looked in here already?
I don't fucking know,
why don't we just search this and move on?
You know,
we're all alone down here.
Gee, I hadn't noticed.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, look.
If you actually get
caught and are arrested,
we're talking a minimum
lifetime sentence, right, at least?
Christ, just shut up.
I'm just trying to have
a conversation, okay?
(Hat thuds)
(Nuts crunching) (Groans)
My first name is bitch for a reason.
Maybe they should just call me nutcracker.
(Rolfe whimpering)
(Gasping)
- Mine.
(Gun clicking)
Correction, mine.
(Sighs) Damn it.
I should have expected this.
You are making a big mistake Mr.
Now you sound like my ex-wife,
so I'm gonna say the same thing to you
that I did to her when I wanted a divorce.
Shut up and hand it over! (Screams)
You son of a bitch.
(Laughing)
Come on, let's grab the others.
Macho, bitch face, I found it.
What the fuck is going on here?
What the hell?
[Bill] The fuck is going on here, is
shut the fuck up and sit down.
Fuck! I don't believe this.
(Whimpering) Fucker!
There's no sense in trying to escape.
Those are boy scout knots,
and men are always gonna
be more powerful than women.
You know if I wasn't
tied to these fucking ropes
I'd kill ya.
I've got the chargers in the store room.
T-minus two minutes.
(Laughing)
You're going to blow us up?
Lady, every good 80's movie
has a big explosion at the end.
Duh!
(Viper gang gasping)
You're being fucking dramatic.
Hey, we're cleaning scum
like you up off the streets.
We're making the world a better place.
Keep telling yourself that.
You're no better than us with
your stupid good-guy badge.
You make me sick.
That makes two of us.
(The queen gasping)
Because the thought
of your ugly ass (The queen screams)
Being sprayed all over downtown Los Angeles
is probably gonna make me stick too.
I'm already throwing up inside
my mouth thinking about it.
(The queen whimpering)
Blea!
(Cobra strike force laughing and cheering)
Let's get the fuck outta here!
- Cobra strike force!
- Yeah, woo!
No!
(Viper gang whimpering)
Shut up, and just try to get loose.
I'm trying, this is it.
Oh!
No, keep trying.
- Love you, bitch.
- No.
(Timer beeping)
- Oh no!
- No!
(Glass shattering)
(Helicopter blades whirring)
Hey, we'll be taken.
We better get outta here man.
Looks like somebody noticed the explosion.
Oh, fuck.
Yeah, let's go, let's go guys.
Come on let's go, go!
(Seagulls squawking) (Tranquil music)
(Waves crashing)
Thanks babe.
(Sighing)
I can't fucking believe
we got away with this shit, man. (Laughs)
Yeah, I, wow.
Don't underestimate cobra strike force.
(All laughing)
Fuck yeah.
- Yeah.
- Hell yeah, man.
Hey guys, to cobra strike force, right?
- [All] Cheers!
- Salute.
(All laughing)
(Lips smacking)
Hmm.
Hey, this taste a
little different to you?
(Throat hacking)
- I mean, yeah,
maybe a little.
This shit ain't right, dude.
This is not, something's not right.
There's something in the drink.
(Throat hacking)
(All choking)
[Macho] Hi, you all need a refill?
No, you good?
You won't get away with this,
you bitch.
(Chair thudding)
(Groaning) (Chair scraping)
Gotcha.
(Laughing) And never
underestimate the intelligence
of the viper gang.
(Upbeat music)
(Car honking)
Ready, baby?
You got it?
Of course I did.
I told you it would work.
Yeah, as always.
To a better life.
(Laughing) (Cars honking)
(Car engine revving) (Upbeat music)
(Phone ringing) (Dramatic music)
(Monitor beeping)
(Patients coughing)
(Baby crying)
(Monitor beeping)
Oh, right, I'll kill them all.
Ow, oh.
(Dramatic music) (Monitor beeps)
(Grunting)
This means war.
(Eerie upbeat music)
(Eerie upbeat music continues)
(Eerie upbeat music continues)
(Eerie upbeat music continues)
(Eerie upbeat music continues)
(Eerie upbeat music continues)
[Singer] I'm obsessed, hallucinations,
you will never know.
(Heavy metal music)
(Heavy metal music continues)
Secret cults of the apocalypse
rise up from the shadows today
world spread panic and havoc
torture on display
fingers pointed to the sky
hell's fury down from above
last moments of this sad existence
seeking out ones you love
the weak brought to their knees
pray for death
enemies closing in
pray for death
revelation shall condemn
pray for death
this pain will never end
pray for death
a million children
cower in the trenches
strapped to a gun
conscripted by politicians
who sacrifice our sons
hydrochloric acid bombs
melt flesh to the bone
mechanized murder machines
to the wolves they're thrown
(Heavy metal music)
Eyes bleed gasping for air
pray for death
left to die in no man's land
pray for death
desecration of mankind
pray for death
a bloody war that never ends
pray for death
atheists and non-believers
sudden change of heart