Cocorico (2024) Movie Script
Hey, Alice?
Your DNA test results
arrived.
Great, thank you.
Don't you open them?
No, it's for my parents
and my in-laws.
This is the first meeting.
I hope this breaks the ice.
We did this at Christmas.
My dad is 10% Australian.
We offered kangaroo underwear.
It's true? That's promising, then.
You are welcome.
Good...
SO...
To be honest,
we hesitate with a Mercedes.
Ah ah! Mercedes!
There are always people
who want to buy German...
You know why these cars
are more powerful?
They have better engineers?
Lost.
Because in Germany,
there is no speed limit.
Over there,
there is an interest in having a V6
with injection which pushes up to 280.
But in France?
What's the point of buying 80,000 euros?
to make 130?
- It is not false.
- No, it's not false.
As I always say:
You want a Mercedes?
Go live in Germany."
So. Finally...
Do you want to live there?
- Madam?
- No.
- Thierry? Germany?
- Certainly not, no.
Average, huh?
Nobody wants.
Even the Germans are hesitant.
No, honestly...
Your happiness is in France.
With a beautiful French car.
Hmm. Hm?
Come on!
As I always say:
When you come to Peugeot,
you dont go back to Merco anymore!
Okay, are you ready for the meeting?
Obviously I'm ready.
I am delighted to meet
Alice's parents.
She's great.
We love him and your father a lot.
- I know. She loves you too.
The only thing:
I don't know how to dress.
You have to make a good impression.
- Oh well, I don't worry.
- Oh well no.
Your father and I,
we don't show manners.
Here, Franois, try to ride it,
I don't know.
I haven't seen you with a tie
since Thomas' marriage.
- That was the one.
- Is the costume the same?
- I would like.
- Well, there you go.
Oh!
- Gorgeous!
- Say, very elegant,
Mom.
- Thank you darling.
I'm trying to be on your father's level.
Hold on.
Oh...
You're better like this.
- My God it's magnificent!
- It's pretty.
A little cold, but pretty.
Here we are at the Chteau de Janzac,
estate of the Bouvier-Sauvage family.
They make their wine
for hundreds of years.
Oh damn!
- Well...
- Yes...
- You will take from the statues.
- Right there?
- We did well to dress up a little.
- Yeah.
I did well
not to bring wine.
It's long.
Yes, we still can't see the house.
It's not a house, it's a castle.
They shouldn't have
put the gate that far.
Ah, there he is.
Ah anyway!
- Oh yeah...
- That's it?
It's fancy, huh...
It's really nice, huh?
- No, no, it's fancy.
- Ah! Yes!
- Plush.
- Go ahead, go under the porch.
You will find a space in the parking lot.
Ah yes, there's no shortage of space.
Oh yeah.
- It's amazing, eh!
- Here we are.
- Oh my God...
- Oh...
German cars,
I'm not surprised.
- Don't start, darling.
- We're going, yes?
I'm going to ruin all my heels.
Don't start, darling.
- Shit, I forgot the flowers.
- Here, the keys.
THANKS.
Go ahead, I'll join you!
Hello, I am Grard Martin,
I am Franois father.
This is my wife Nicole.
Are you Mrs. Bouvier-Sauvage?
Oh no, sir,
I am the housekeeper.
Ooh, no, yes, it's Maria.
She's the housekeeper.
You are welcome.
Are you okay, Maria?
- Yes very well and you?
- Yes thanks.
- Oh yes.
- SO?
Uh well...
- I'll take your jacket.
- Oh yes.
- Show your coat.
- Oh yes.
- Here, darling.
- Yeah.
Thank you, Franois.
Yes...
A rug on the wall,
it's original...
Good morning!
Hello, welcome.
How are you doing?
- Very well and you?
- Catherine Bouvier-Sauvage.
Nice to meet you.
Nicole...Martin...
Finally, Nicole Martin.
Delighted too.
- Catherine Bouvier-Sauvage.
- Grard Martin.
- You were confused with the housekeeper.
- Oh...
It's original,
that had never happened to me.
Hello Francois.
- Hello, Catherine.
- How are you?
- Thanks very much.
Hold.
To thank you for your welcome.
They're pretty, it's very nice.
Thank you so much. Maria?
You put this for me in a pretty vase,
Please?
Good morning!
Oh, Alice, what a pleasure to see you!
Welcome to the house.
We are happy to be there.
- Me too.
- And U.S. too.
Since the time
that we wanted to introduce to you!
- Huh, mom?
- Finally!
Follow me.
Frdric is waiting for us in the small living room.
Go ahead, come in.
Oh, how are you?
Frdric Bouvier-Sauvage, delighted.
-Nicole Martin.
- Frdric Bouvier-Sauvage.
- Delighted, delighted, delighted.
- Grard Martin.
But oh!
I see who Franois is
holds his sparkling gaze.
Oh, thanks for the compliment.
I think it was for me, Mom.
Badly brought up!
That's more from his dad
that he has this.
It's possible, right, darling?
They complimented the domain.
- Oh yes.
- Its an exceptional place.
Yes, it's true. It's true.
600 hectares of land,
including 500 vines.
Without pretention,
I think I can say...
That... more or less, it's a
of the most beautiful properties in Aquitaine.
Shall I show you?
The Chteau de Janzac is in my family
for over 500 years.
We just lost it
during the 2nd World War,
when the Germans occupied it.
It was the headquarters
of Marshal Van Kloug.
Yes, from May 43 to July 44.
Until
where he returned to Berlin.
He had participated in the plot
against Hitler by Stauffenberg.
- Yes yes.
- In the wolf's den.
- You know who I mean?
- Um yes.
- The Germans, still poorly behaved!
- Yes this...
It's the least we can say.
If this interests you,
Should I show you around?
- My pleasure.
- Come with me.
- Come.
- I would be afraid of getting lost.
Oh, beautiful beast, eh!
- I knew you would like it.
- I love billiards.
- I almost bought one.
- It's a French billiards table.
So I play American.
As in all PMU bars.
This one is a real billiards table.
We do not put the piece
to make the balls fall.
Yes, it's less fun, too.
Yes, it's less fun.
But finally, no...
French billiards,
its a sport of strategy.
It's cerebral,
these are combinations.
It is played with three balls,
without the holes.
Like ptanque.
That, I don't know, I don't play it.
It's a shame,
its also very fun.
Without a doubt. Without a doubt.
I'm going to show you something
something that will interest you.
- Oh dear! Oh dear!
- Shit.
Anyway,
there is no hole, so...
Fun, fun, fun.
- So, let's continue.
- I've rarely seen that.
- It's majestic.
- THANKS.
- Is everything okay, ladies?
- Alright.
- Honey, you missed something.
- What?
A magnificent winter garden
with orange trees,
very rare orchids.
- We also have a winter garden.
We call it a veranda.
And here is my family photo.
You have, gathered here,
a number of my ancestors
since the 13th century, that's it.
- That's crazy!
- Yes yes.
We couldn't fit everything.
There are many great men
in my family.
Choices had to be made.
This was before feminism.
Because, as you see,
than men.
- No, but I know!
It's hard to imagine,
but we built all this,
the great kingdom of France,
feared, adored, respected
before feminism.
How did we do it?
To be respected,
you have to evolve a little.
It's not the moment.
What? To defend women?
I always told you that.
You leave me the 14th,
the 15th, 16th and 17th century,
please
and I gladly return the 21st to you.
Okay, see you in the living room. Come.
Do I finish the visit?
From here until 1834,
you have all the Dukes of Janzac.
The title was granted to my ancestor
Anselme Bouvier by Louis IX.
It was Greater Saint-Louis.
For bravery during the 7th Crusade.
He cut off the foot of a Saracen
during a scuffle with the king.
Ooh there!
It's only much later
that my great-grandfather
Gonzague Bouvier de Janzac
had no male heir
and lost the title
at the wedding of his only daughter
Genevive Bouvier de Janzac in 1834.
- Ah darn!
- Oh yes, its nerd.
Finally!
We consider ourselves
always like dukes. So.
The proof: one of our great wines
is called "Duke of Janzac".
- Oh yes anyway!
- But OK.
Maybe let's go and freshen up,
Dear.
Its fitting.
We return
from a trip to Tuscany.
- Thank you, Maria.
- We go there every year.
- Oh?
Catherine is of Italian origin.
His grandmother was a princess.
She is not very objective,
but we must recognize
that our Italian friends
are very knowledgeable
in gastronomy...
and in wine! And in wine!
- Yes!
It's true,
it's a wonderful place.
As I am of Italian origin,
I feel at home.
This is, quite simply,
it's in my genes.
And yet,
Genoa is not in Tuscany.
No, it's not in Tuscany!
- Sorry, sorry, sorry.
- We are very France
in our travels, eh?
- Exactly.
France
is the most beautiful country in the world.
- Eh yes.
- We don't have enough of one life
to discover everything.
There are beautiful things
near our home.
- Exactly.
- My parents know well
Barbados, the Grenadine Islands and Bali,
but they never went
in Brittany.
But no?
- No.
- We'll go when we're old.
- So.
- Yes so...
We mainly visit France.
But Grard forgets a small detail:
he doesn't take the plane.
- Ah!
- Obviously, that doesn't help.
- You imagine? Not to take the plane?
- No.
I sell cars,
this is my passion.
As soon as I no longer touch the ground,
I am not well.
Of course.
What cars do you sell?
French cars. Peugeot.
Hmm.
You know?
Of course.
Personally, I've never had one.
- We have a housekeeper who has a...
- A 206.
An old 206.
She seems to be happy with it.
You surprise me,
it is the best-selling model.
The 206 is indestructible.
- Ah good?
- The 208 too.
Very reliable. All our cars.
Well...
I have the biggest concession
from all of Aquitaine.
Come see me.
I will show you our latest model.
Well okay.
You know,
I'm very "German car".
- I like the quality.
- Ba ba ba ba!
We will speak again
when you come to my house.
I believe that cars,
it's a bit like wine.
If we have the right models,
it works and if we have
crappy models are bad.
That's what I tell my clients.
I'm not a good salesman,
I sell good products.
Obviously.
French, eh. French.
Have you already tasted my wine?
Ah, uh, no. Never.
So listen, come with me.
We'll check this right away.
Drop the champagne,
you'll see.
It's another journey.
Let's go.
Duke of Janzac, 1955.
Ooh there.
Oh, he smells good, huh?
Hmm.
Hm!
He's still pretty drunk, isn't he?
And at the same time,
you can smell the blackberry behind.
And then, at the end of the mouth...
A little bit of tobacco
mixed with leather. Eh?
Leather, I don't really feel it,
but it is very good.
It's normal.
My palate is used to it.
It runs through my veins.
It is the same for me.
I can tell a V6 from a V8
eyes closed.
Oh yes, wonderful.
And when I see
these bottles accumulated there
for over a century
by my ancestors,
I feel proud.
You can be proud.
I realize my responsibility.
Not to drink too much?
- No no!
To be a Wild Cattle Dog.
Eh? Yes.
A Bouvier-Sauvage cannot be
average or mediocre.
Even billiards?
Touch! Touch!
Very funny. Very funny.
But today...
It's all Alice's.
She is the one who will take over.
She will get there without any worries.
She's great, your kid.
Since Franois has been with her,
he is transformed.
I have no doubt about it.
What I mean,
is that at a given moment,
she will have to make a life choice
in accordance with its...
its damn origins.
- Yes, I know, yes.
They are so in love...
Honestly, without taking any risks...
I have the impression
that his decision is made.
Oh no, not at all.
- Does their story seem to work?
- Yes...
It's a pretty love affair,
a pleasant adventure.
But anyway... Alice,
his life is all mapped out.
I have no doubt that when the time comes,
she will make the right choice.
Oh. It's the same for my son.
He too will have to make the right choice.
Yes but no.
How's that, no?
Even with all respect
that I owe you, Grard,
selling cars is not the same.
We,
we inherit a cultural heritage.
We are Bouvier-Sauvage.
To a big family,
big responsibilities.
Even if it doesn't amuse us
every day.
- Well 8, huh.
- 8?
We would have had 8.
We had to hold him back, Grard.
Yes. Ah!
What is happening?
You're all alone?
- Did you drink a lot? You're all pale.
- No do not worry.
Excuse us,
we had things to say to each other.
Yes, yes, absolutely.
Speaking of important things,
we have an announcement.
It is now.
If we organized this meeting,
this is to tell you that Franois
asked for my hand and I said yes.
- We will get married!
- Oh!
That's wonderful.
I'm happy
for you children.
- THANKS!
Well done! Hmm...
I'm proud of you.
- Mom.
- Yes my darling.
- I love you.
- Me too.
- I'm happy.
- Us too, my darling.
It's sudden,
but this is big news.
Ah! Alice, Alice, Alice!
The queen of surprises.
You don't like surprises.
Admit that this one makes you happy.
I want you to be happy.
I'm very happy, dad!
- Well, there you go. So. So.
- Kathryn!
Frederick...
For a first meeting,
it's a lot of emotions.
- Yes.
- Catherine, I kiss you.
- Yes.
Thank you sir.
- THANKS.
- Of course we didn't expect it.
- It's a big surprise.
Welcome to the family, Frdric.
It's a pleasure.
It is an honor.
And a responsibility! Ooh there.
Did you know?
No.
But I knew that when the time came,
Alice would make the right choice.
Ah ha.
My friends, I propose
as we fill our glasses.
Eh? So.
And let us lift them...
- Frederick?
- Hmm?
- Oh dear.
- No more?
And we lift them
in honor of the newlyweds.
With all our best wishes.
To the future bride and groom!
To the future bride and groom!
And to the union
of our two families.
- To the union of our families!
- Of our two families.
- It's a pleasure,
but it is also an honor.
To the union of...
Of our two families.
And! And!
And Alice's good choice.
Oh yes.
Yes, it's okay, we understand.
Did you drink too much or what?
No, no, I'm happy.
This is big news.
Huh, Frdric?
Is this big news?
In general,
we organize this at the bride's house.
Yes, it's even a tradition.
Eh? The traditions...
Absolutely, it's tradition.
If we respect traditions...
Your domain
is so sumptuous...
Yes, it is true that the property
is a true gem.
You have to find the right time.
Yes, in September,
these are the grape harvests,
at the end of the year, Courchevel...
Hmm.
Spring is Tuscany.
Ah yes, you are very busy.
- Yes.
- Will you be at my wedding?
Of course my dear.
We, next year,
we have a lot of time available.
No worries, we'll take care of you.
So.
- Shall we have dessert in the living room?
-Very good idea.
We are very good here for dessert.
No, no, don't bother.
We are very good here.
We're staying here and looking for a date.
No, listen, Alice,
Now that's enough.
We're not going to settle this marriage,
now, at the corner of a table!
We can start.
That's not how we do it.
It's rushed.
- We didn't have an engagement.
- Nobody does that anymore!
Yes, well thats a shame!
Listen, Arlette and Grard...
Nicole. I'm Nicole.
Of course, Nicole.
Why do I say "Arlette"?
No, no, Nicole and Grard...
- Gerard.
- A marriage,
for our family, it is heavy with meaning,
of consequences.
I also explained to Grard,
he understood very well.
We are Bouvier-Sauvage.
To a big family,
great responsibilities.
It's been a long time.
- Oh yes.
- No, you understand,
I don't even know the name of...
-Nicole.
- And of...
Gerard.
- I don't know what your name is going to be.
- Martin.
The last name is Martin.
It's nice, Martin.
- Well, it's Martin.
- Yes, it's pretty.
There are many,
of the Martins, in France.
Hey, just the guy
who repairs tractors,
with the big nose there.
His name is Durand.
- It's all the same.
- Dad...
Why not Dupond,
for that matter?
Frederick...
Sorry, excuse me.
Dupond, there...
No, you're not apologizing.
It didn't go far.
Dupond is my maiden name.
- Oh yes?
- Dessert in the living room?
- It's a good idea.
Have you calmed down?
Do you want me to get married?
I have nothing against this marriage, my darling.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy
aristocrat who opposes it.
- There is no risk.
- It's amazing.
This meeting is an opportunity
to know each other better.
- Exactly.
Precisely, in this regard,
we have a little gift for you.
- Dad, you're going to like it a lot.
- Oh well, what is it?
My lab is American.
They offered us DNA tests.
Oh!
How does your thing work?
It works well!
It is used a lot in genealogy.
This is tremendous progress.
It's not surprising.
It details all your origins.
It allows you to find a family
that we didn't know.
I saw that one day in the newspaper.
It's original,
Its a change from the usual gifts.
What a good idea!
That you are interested in your origins,
nothing could make me happier.
Dogs don't make cats, Dad.
I don't know my family.
Mom was single
and orphaned at 5 years old.
I don't know anything about my origins.
So say between that and marriage,
it's a lot of emotions.
Oh yes?
Are the results long after?
The results, here they are.
Eh?
Here it is for you, Dad.
Are the results already there?
- These tests are quick.
- How did you do?
We took the samples.
No need to wait.
I took some of your hair.
- Ah good?
- Dad, I got a bandage
when you cut yourself.
Mom, I took your hair.
And dad, your beard hair.
SO? Who starts?
You looked at them,
the results?
- It's for you.
- We don't know what's in there.
It's crazy to think that all my life
is enclosed in a small envelope.
- Eh yes.
- Anyway...
I have always been French.
I can start.
Finally a brave one.
No, I have nothing to hide.
We have nothing to hide either.
Our DNA test
is on the walls of this castle.
We are in France
since Louis VI the Fat.
And without the fire of the Paris archives
in 1033,
we would have gone up
until Pepin the Short.
You know who I mean?
- Charlemagne's father.
- Oh yes.
So.
- Well, I'll get started.
- Go ahead, come on.
Hm hmm.
SO...
Suspense, suspense...
Oh fuck...
What's the matter?
- Oh fuck!
- What was written there?
- He's probably Bulgarian.
- Frederick!
But what?
- Damn, I'm German!
- No?
Oh damn!
50% off!
- Oh damn!
- But no?
- Yes it is.
- German?
- What could have happened?
- Well yes, German.
- You never told me.
- I did not know!
How it is possible? At 50%?
- Look at!
- Say, so your tests are reliable?
Yes, it's scientific.
- 50%, I don't believe it.
- It's violent.
There's nothing serious,
you will learn more about your family.
I'm going to have a conversation
with my dad.
If it's my father!
- Yes, it's a shock.
- It's not getting better.
- 50%!
- He took a shovel.
- Some water.
- So. So.
- THANKS.
I don't understand.
My parents don't speak German.
- I would have known, right?
- Your parents hid it from you.
At a time,
it wasn't very popular.
It's still not so much
Today.
Family secrets exist.
This one is big!
Hm hmm.
You never had any suspicions?
What kind?
One of your parents who listens to Wagner,
very exalted?
Or who is a fan of sauerkraut
or uniform?
Or who dreams of invading Poland
by getting drunk on dark beer?
- Ah, very funny.
- No but...
I'm just trying to help, that's all.
I do not believe it.
- Let's have a drink to recover.
- Very good idea.
Come on, finally,
It's all quite amusing.
- Oh well no.
- Well, come on, I suggest you
to raise our glass to health
from our friend Grard.
To Gerhardt!
- Frederick!
Sorry, excuse me.
It was too tempting.
Let's toast to great Germany.
Oh no.
Dad, that's enough.
But what? Is this your idea?
We can laugh a little about it, right?
No, now you're forgetting your manners.
We can accommodate
our guests correctly.
You can't blame me
for having received him badly.
The proof is,
his Nazi grandparents
occupied the castle from 40 to 44.
- Honey, let's go, get up.
- Dad, please.
Its German rigor.
At 8 p.m., everyone goes to bed, presto!
We throw the meat in the cloth!
You want me to lend you
my Porsche to get home?
It is electric.
It's better than a 408.
That's enough, come and apologize!
You apologize, Frdric.
I'm sorry.
Given my family history,
I have a personal problem
with the Germans,
It has nothing to do with you.
Please clarify this.
Well yes, of course.
- It's not against you.
- Nicole, Grard, you stay.
Germany is a very beautiful country.
We're not going to argue about that.
Be proud of your origins.
- She's right, it's beautiful.
Your country is beautiful, my darling.
Be happy:
you can go there by car.
Yes, it's full of highways.
- And then not limited.
- I'm sorry for being so tense.
It's so sudden.
I need to digest.
Do you want a little Schnapps?
Your grandparents
perhaps left some in the cellar?
No, but you are right.
It's better to laugh about it.
It doesn't change who I am.
I still have a big concession
and I remain French.
This is the right attitude!
If the Germans go to war,
Its win/win.
The Gerhardt sits quietly
on his sofa
and he waits for the name of the winner.
We didn't think
that it was going to upset you.
No worries, it's fine.
We were talking about an original gift,
it succeeded.
Come on, prost. Um...cheers.
Realizing that we had Nazis
In his family...
- What did he say?
- Nothing at all.
The best thing is to stop.
We had enough emotions.
- Yes yes.
- It's better like that.
Come on, we had a good laugh.
Let's talk about something else.
At the same time,
now that we've started...
Could we continue a little?
Uh...
It's true, your mother is right.
I would love to see what happens next.
We could laugh.
It's not a game, Grard.
That made you laugh, didn't it?
Not really.
We were sorry for you.
Mom?
I do not know.
Nicole, go ahead, if you want.
The Martins have started.
- I think this is more up to you.
- Oh yes.
She means "yours", darling.
Thanks for your help.
There's no suspense with me.
It's true that it's weird.
Do not worry.
Grard is German, the worst is over.
- Ah ah ah!
- Go ahead anyway.
SO...
Oh!
But what?
Catherine!
She feels unwell,
she's having a vagal!
Are you okay my darling?
What happened?
I am portuguese.
What?
I am portuguese!
Anything.
What are you saying?
What the hell is this?
20% Portuguese?
What is this bullshit?
20%!
Is it fake?
Is this to humiliate us?
I'm not fine? These are real tests.
We all come from a mixture.
It's pretty.
I make great wines.
Mixing is not my thing!
No, but I understood that.
What are you doing, darling?
This is a yoga position:
downward facing dog, reversed.
Leave me, it calms me down.
- Downward facing dog, reversed.
- How are you mom?
No. I'm not Italian.
No.
I am portuguese.
Yeah.
- Here, darling.
- Calm down.
Drink your scotch. It will perk you up.
THANKS. THANKS.
Gently. One foot in front of the other.
- It'll be OK?
- Yes, thank you.
But Maria?
What's wrong with you?
Welcome to the family, Catherine.
Already, it's "Madame Bouvier-Sauvage",
nothing changes.
I am portuguese
at 20% so that leaves me
80% French!
This is enough to affirm
that we are not from the same family!
I'm not fine?
- Being Portuguese is not a shame.
- Excuse me,
but 5 minutes ago,
I was the granddaughter
of a princess of Venice.
I find myself
Portuguese cousin of my housekeeper.
So let me digest.
If I may, to digest,
Port is great.
You're tiring.
- You're heavy.
- When I'm German, we laugh
and when Catherine is Portuguese,
is it funnier?
I'm not Portuguese.
A little bit.
It's okay now, we understand.
Oh!
No, but don't worry,
My love. Really.
For me, it doesn't change anything.
I love you so much.
Oh well happy again!
What does it mean?
Eh?
Nothing at all. Nothing at all.
I love you just as you are,
whether you are Romanian or Portuguese.
I thank you for your support,
Really.
I love you mom.
Thank you darling.
My parents always told me
that we had Italian origins.
Ah well its definitely Italian,
it is more...
Than Portuguese.
- Have you ever had any doubts?
- But no.
Nothing! Nothing.
Not even a grandmother
with excessive hair growth?
A grand father
fan of false ceilings?
An aunt who fished for cod?
He never stops.
No, but it will be necessary.
No, but I'm trying to help.
- It missed.
- That's very kind of you,
but I prefer to be a Portuguese
sad as a friend of the Boches.
- Oh!
- Well, its certain that with us,
we don't accept just anyone.
- We have a sense of selection.
- Ooh La La!
Then,
Gerhardt, don't go into this field,
because German, selection,
It reminds us of bad times.
- Oh, very funny!
- I am very serious.
The Third Reich is stuffed
good memories for you,
but for us,
it still doesn't work.
- Lets' go.
- Ah yes, very good idea.
Come on, a little episode of Derrick
and to bed.
I go to the toilet.
-Schnell!
- Schnell?
- I accompany you.
- He said schnell!
He said schnell! Ah ah!
I can not believe!
That's the pompom.
- You're not holding them back?
- No no.
I take care of your mother
and I manage your little surprise.
Oh because it's my fault?
What matters is what you do,
not what you are.
But when I think
that we spent a small fortune
so that they teach you this at school!
Frederick?
There's a leak in the gallery.
Oh no, not my ancestors!
- More than that was missing.
- It is a disaster!
Ask Maria to call a plumber!
- We're going.
- No, go ahead.
- It's not okay, right?
- Yes, go ahead.
Oh dear! Oh!
We have to turn off the water
in the boiler room!
- Where is your boiler room?
- Eh?
- The boiler room over there!
- So let's go.
I don't understand anything about it.
There is a valve that shuts everything off.
- I don't know which one.
- Calms you.
Let me do it. I watch.
There are two circuits, it's not surprising.
Um, that must be it.
Yes, that's the one.
Oh shit! Oh fuck!
- He has the flu.
- Ah, shit, shit, shit!
Instead of saying "shit",
give me a pliers!
- Damn, damn! Keys.
- Something to unscrew.
- Keys, are you okay?
- Yeah, the keys. This one, very good.
Very well very well.
Ah! It's coming!
- Ah, well done, you saved my life.
- It's closed.
- Well done.
- When you have the right tools...
- Yes.
- Oh! Bosch.
That, you, the Germans, the tools,
cars are your thing.
Grard found the right valve,
we turned off the water.
- Thank you, Grard.
- Oh, you know,
when you have the right tools...
Is the plumber on his way?
Maria refused to call him.
- Well why?
- If mom
had not been odious,
we wouldn't be there.
It's my fault now.
- Yeah.
- No, but it continues!
It continues!
- Honey, shall we go?
- You're not going to leave like that?
Especially after what Grard did,
it is not correct.
- It wasn't much.
- Yes, sit down.
- Let's have something to drink.
- Come on.
- Come on, sit down.
- Yes, Mr. Ribeiro.
It's still...
There really is an emergency there.
You're at a wedding, I understand.
What if I give you more in cash?
Of course...
You're at a wedding, yes.
Yeah yeah.
What if I say that my wife
is Portuguese,
it changes?
I'm not fine?
Oh yes,
she is completely Portuguese.
You know them like I do.
They are nice,
but with character.
But exactly! So!
So. What?
Great, Mr Ribeiro, thank you!
He comes.
Awesome.
He wants to talk to you.
Out of the question!
Either that or you no longer have hot water.
Yes, she is delighted,
I'll pass it on to you, Mr. Ribeiro.
You're going to pay me for that.
Yes hello.
Yes, we have a big leak
on a radiator.
Yes. How?
I'm Portuguese, yes, absolutely.
Yes quite. Quite.
A pride, you can imagine.
A great pride, a joy, oh my.
That's it, thank you!
You're happy?
Did you get what you wanted?
I find it very humiliating.
- But anyway, Catherine.
- How are you!
What? We have a leak, we have a leak.
It's better to be Portuguese
as the granddaughter of a princess.
Especially to find a plumber.
It was sure
that he was going to find the controller.
- It's a manual.
Exactly, here is the plumber.
Darling?
Do not even think about it.
Ah, Mr. Ribeiro!
Thank you for coming so quickly.
- How nice.
- You are welcome.
- I'll show you the leak.
- THANKS.
Do you want to say hello to your cousin?
- I do not want to disturb.
- So.
Besides, we don't have time. THANKS.
For the family, we don't bother.
- I don't mind.
- Catherine will be so happy.
Bastard...
- Never...
- But there she is, the cousin.
Your cousin wants to greet you.
Good evening.
It came
because you are Portuguese.
- How nice.
What?
- Are you doing well?
- It will get better
when you have fixed everything.
- Do you show him?
- Of course.
I almost didn't come, huh?
I was at the Da Silva wedding.
You know them?
- No.
- We only know them.
Their son marries little Da Pinto.
She works in the bank.
You know them?
Neither.
No Portuguese?
No.
Beautiful women like you
come from the Porto region.
That's it? I am wrong? No?
Where are you from?
From Versailles.
No, but in Portugal?
I don't know.
What is your name?
Da Silva? Pinto? Santo?
Carvalho? Ribeiro?
Rodrigo? Ferreiro?
Rodrigues? Goncalves?
Fernandez? Lopes?
Ferreira? Perreira? Oliveira?
No.
No?
I am Catherine Bouvier-Sauvage.
- Ah! Savage?
- Savage.
Yes, Savage!
Its Portuguese, that, Souvage.
Oh well yes, thats for sure.
She is not Portuguese.
She's a liar.
You're not Portuguese?
Well of course.
I don't know what Maria is talking about.
She is Portugese.
We have all the papers here.
Look.
Look, it's written there.
Hmm. Are you 20% Portuguese?
Yes.
Like VAT? That's a sign.
Ah ah ah ah! VAT!
- You have it?
- Ah!
- He doesn't have it.
- Yes, yes, yes, yes.
I'm teasing you.
- I show you.
- OK.
- Ah ah! VAT!
SO?
It's the purge.
The purge?
It purges more.
- It's obvious.
- Why does it purge more?
Is this your family?
Yes, absolutely, yes.
They are Portuguese?
Ah, today,
We're not sure of anything anymore, are we?
Oh, yes.
- Shall I show you the boiler?
- Yes.
The purge of what...
There you go, the naughty one. Good.
I gave you the water again.
You will have to change your boiler,
Mr. Souvage.
I will look at it.
You have to buy German.
They're the best.
Tell that to my friend, Grard.
He is German. Eh?
- It's not true, he's German?
- No, no, finally... I...
- He sells boilers?
- Cars.
Mercedes?
No, Peugeot.
A German who sells Peugeots!
- She's not ordinary, that one!
- Here we go?
Yeah yeah.
Say, a German, a Portuguese,
There are only half-breeds in your house.
Not me, no.
- I have always been French.
- Too bad for you.
For what? Are you mixed race?
Of course. 50% Lisbon, 50% Porto.
- It's the same, that.
- No.
If it were the same,
they would have the same name.
Eh yes.
They are not smart,
these French.
Thank you so much. It's very nice
to have passed so quickly.
- Congratulations to the bride and groom.
- I wouldn't miss it, Mr. Souvage.
Savage.
So say,
your car is not bad,
but when you change,
come see me.
- I have something nice.
- Well why not.
- You come?
- Yes.
I'm lying
as they say at home.
I thought he would never leave,
your cousin.
He's not my cousin.
Fortunately
that he was in a hurry to leave!
The Portuguese marriage,
him, he doesn't bother you.
But don't take it all seriously, darling.
I'm just telling you
that when two people
from different backgrounds get married...
often, it's complicated.
- So.
Should we get married in the same environment?
And what do you do with love?
Love, love, thats the big word!
You will see in 15 years,
you will think otherwise.
You don't understand.
We're going to get married no matter what.
If you don't get along, too bad.
Charming. What a great evening.
We'll talk about it again, if you want.
I am English!
- I am English!
- What are you talking about?
I'm sorry,
there were more pistachios,
so I opened the envelope.
I am 60% English.
- That is the class.
- THANKS. Really, thank you.
I'm not saying this for you,
you take it all wrong.
- It's not possible.
- Whose fault is it?
Thats crazy!
My grandmother abandoned my mother
at birth.
I could be anything.
Do not say stupid things,
you are English.
But I'm not totally surprised.
- For what?
- I always felt something.
A difference.
When I watched English films,
I didn't understand and at the same time,
I understood.
Am I not very clear?
You've never watched films in original language.
I do not speak English,
but I can understand it.
- Hm hmm.
- You know what I mean?
No.
Hmm. No, but yes, I see.
It feels weird to me.
I feel like I'm the same,
and at the same time,
to be someone else.
That's great, darling. Tremendous!
It would be perfect if Nicole's husband
was not German.
Don't try to ruin this good time.
I don't want to spoil anything at all.
The Germans and the English
are not best friends.
- Ah good?
- I do not see the link.
But finally, during the war?
The Germans bombed London!
Among others!
Isn't that right, Gerhardt?
Finally, darling, you know me.
I would never have bombed London.
- I know, you're a nice guy.
- Yes.
On the other hand,
the English did not miss Germany.
- Ah good?
- Oh well...
80% of German cities
were destroyed.
They razed Dresden,
pulverized the Ruhr
without asking any questions.
Oh dear, darling, I'm sorry.
- I did not know.
- Me neither.
Eh yes.
I'm sorry we bombarded you.
Don't apologize, darling,
you have nothing to do with it.
Darling!
It might be nice,
their family reunions.
One thing that brings us together,
the Germans and the English,
that's what we hate
French frogs.
Enough of the dubious jokes.
Nicole, I am very happy for you.
If you can reunite with your family,
it's amazing.
THANKS.
Say, mom, did you see?
They found your cousins.
- Ah good?
- There are beautiful people.
What do you mean there are beautiful people?
Let me see? So, wait.
SO...
Relationship
with William Mountbatten,
"Windsor,
- "Duke of Cambridge"...
- Oh there...
"Earl of Strathearn,
Baron Carrickfergus.
Well, that's actually a lot of people!
It's just one person.
Show me.
I don't know,
I don't speak English well yet.
So "Henry Mountbatten Windsor,
"Duke of Sussex, Earl of Dumbarton.
"Lady Amelia Windsor,
"Duchess of Kent"...
You are part
of the British nobility.
It makes no sense.
It's scientific.
It's nonsense anyway.
You are a princess!
And Catherine is Portuguese.
Yes, and Gerhardt is German.
Uh... well...
- Are you recovering?
- The Portuguese girl, she annoys you!
Well, Nicole and Grard,
it's not to chase you away,
but it's getting late.
- Oh yes, excuse me.
- Sorry, Nicole, I'll take you home.
Honey, let's go.
I don't move.
You heard Frdric, let's go.
Well yes, we have to go,
now, Gerhardt.
No, I'm not moving from here.
- What?
- My wife has good manners.
She is English.
Me, I'm not leaving
before he opened it.
- There's no need to add more.
- Nein!
I'm not moving.
So listen to me carefully, Gerhardt.
Eh?
My family has already kicked out
the Germans in 44,
so tonight,
I'm ready to do it again!
Go ahead, frog.
- Honey, let's go now.
- No.
Not until he opened the envelope.
There is no reason.
Don't insist, I won't open,
it's ridiculous.
You said it was good.
- I changed my mind.
- In any case,
there are family secrets everywhere.
Why not at the Bouillon-Sauvage?
Bouvier-Sauvage, eh?
I will answer you
very quietly.
It is the prerogative of large families.
We have been here for a thousand years.
We are scrutinized, observed.
Books are written about us.
You understand
that we have no family secrets.
If there is no doubt,
opens the envelope.
This is very disappointing, as a reflection.
You disappoint me a lot.
- That gives us something in common.
- We had a lovely day,
but we're going to bed,
my wife is very tired.
Is it true that you are tired?
Open the fucking envelope
or I do.
Oh.
What is wrong with you?
Get off your ass.
Well okay. All right.
If it helps us sleep...
But I warn you,
you will be disappointed.
Frdric Bouvier-Sauvage...
And that's the job.
85% French. I told you.
It's true, he said it.
Who is it, who is it
the Frenchman, now?
Well, it's Fredo!
So. Frdric Bouvier-Sauvage.
Delighted.
There you go, I'm French.
My parents, my grandparents
and my great-grandparents too.
I don't like Germans.
Oh yes! And one, and two and three zeros!
And one, and two and three zeros!
Damn it's good to be French.
Fortunately I am raising the level.
Oh!
No I did not say that.
I wasn't thinking about you at all.
It's awkward. Really.
I am absolutely sorry.
And the 15%, there?
Pardon?
What does the remaining 15% mean?
We don't care about the remaining 15%.
I'm French, period.
We are all French.
- Yes exactly.
- No, we're not all.
Someone hesitates, eh, Gerhardt?
Mr. 50-50?
He likes sauerkraut so much
than Burgundy.
Very funny. The 15%?
- You Germans are stubborn.
- The 15%?
But we don't care,
I didn't even look!
Well, I'll do it. SO...
Yes, 85% French.
- I didn't lie to you.
- And...
And?
-Cherokee...
- What?
- At 15%.
- Pardon?
- Isn't that a car model?
- A little overrated.
It is a tribe of American Indians.
Visibly,
you have Indian origins.
Oooh ooh!
What is this bullshit?
No, but that's nonsense.
It's wrong!
I don't see what's funny.
A Wild Cattle Dog with feathers
riding, it's funny.
Ah but what happiness!
Honey, not you, anyway!
You're Indian, darling!
You heard? Indian!
Ah but fortunately
that I am here to raise
family level!
These tests are a huge scam.
It's to make money!
Well of course! Yeah.
A little Indian in the family,
it's cute.
A Wild Cattle Dog
can't be an Indian!
- This is a historical misinterpretation!
- Okay, come on.
We move on, we've had enough laughs.
Please.
You are right. Finally some common sense.
- Shall I pour you a last drink?
- Gladly.
Come on.
- THANKS.
- Cheers.
To bring down
a little pressure, I suggest...
let's smoke a peace pipe!
- Yes, okay, very funny!
Excuse me, Frdric.
Oh no, it's not Frdric,
Its Silver Coyote!
You're starting to piss me off
with your Indian stories!
Look!
This is the story of the Bouvier-Sauvage!
A thousand pages!
And not a single Indian!
We had dukes,
counts, ministers,
governors and even a bishop!
And buffalo hunters!
Go ahead, check it out.
Here is the family tree
of the Bouvier-Sauvage family.
Here, look,
there's not a single Indian in there.
Oh yes! There's a branch missing there.
One of your ancestors must have cut it
to make a bow!
- Oh yes okay.
I don't care, that's it.
I'm getting a kick out of it.
You want me to be Indian?
My pleasure.
I can not see
what this will change in my life.
For me, 20% Portuguese,
it changes everything.
I tell you it doesn't change anything.
Now I'm talking to the plumber.
It is true that...
It doesn't change anything, it doesn't change anything...
It changes a few things
unimportant, of course.
Which things?
No, but trifles.
Trifles of what?
No, but spit out your Valda,
Boris Becker!
Frdric, stop!
I'm starting to get used to it.
No, I'm talking about marriage.
We send announcements or...
Or smoke signals?
- There is no marriage. There never will be.
We never wanted it.
A Bouvier-Sauvage does not marry
the son of a mechanic
and a stay-at-home mother.
You need to get this into your head!
Verstanden, Gerhardt?
Did you hear?
There are people ready to invade Belgium,
but to understand something childish,
there's no one left!
Stop!
You're hateful to them.
I want you to apologize.
No.
Message received, we will get married without you.
Alice...
There are always problems at a wedding.
There will be one less.
I agree on one point with you,
Pocahontas:
there will be no wedding!
My son is descended from the royal family
from England.
There's no question he'll marry
the daughter of a cod eater
and a Redskin!
To a big family,
big responsibilities!
That's from me!
It suits my family better.
It's what,
the responsibility of a mechanic?
This is to check the tire pressure
of its customers?
I confused your wife with
the good Portuguese girl, we know why!
The Martins, a big family?
But I think I'm dreaming!
Stop making movies!
We know your film.
It's "An Indian in the Vineyard"!
Peugeot seller!
It's not an insult!
Yes, for me, yes!
Take that away!
No way!
He's going to take one!
When you want to!
I did 10 years of French boxing!
I am the king of slippers!
Come when you want!
I'm sorry, Nicole!
Listen. Thank you for almost everything.
Come on, that's it!
You coward!
Return to your reserve, Geronimo!
Nobody treats
a Wild Bouvier like that!
- Stop! That's enough!
- Simply Wild!
Ah ah ah! I choke! Excellent!
The bitch almost burst the door!
No, but you wouldn't have held me back,
I would have spread it out.
Oh dear...
Damn, what a big idiot!
I can't take anymore of him.
Do not worry,
my father was not better.
At the same time, Cherokee and Portuguese,
it will bring them back down.
- Hmm.
- What a slap!
You surprise me.
It's like that,
there will be fewer of us at the wedding.
So much the better, we'll invite more friends.
I love you, Alice Bouvier-Sauvage.
- Savage!
- Savage.
Alice Bouvier-Souvage.
That's right!
It makes no sense!
No, but Cherokee!
Why not Turkish?
It's ridiculous!
Ah!
For me, it doesn't change anything
that you are Cherokee.
I love you the same.
Very funny.
Is this Portuguese humor?
It's a huge scam.
What do you think about it?
Eh?
You don't answer?
It's nice.
Well, good night
my princess.
- Eh?
- It means "good night" in English.
Oh thank you.
I don't know how to say it in German,
but thanks anyway.
In French, it suits me very well too.
Hello dad.
Slept well?
In your opinion?
Sorry, but it's your fault too.
You will explain to me, I no longer follow you.
Since I was little,
you tell me your family stories.
We were knights,
dukes, alchemists,
lords, resistance fighters, in France
since the 12th century.
How do you imagine you're Cherokee?
No, I'm not Cherokee.
Did he sleep well, Bison Fut?
There you go, there you go, look.
Your mother unscrews.
She is turning hammer.
No, but I swear...
No, dad, it's not possible,
you're not german?
Yes it is.
I can't be German,
I sell Peugeots!
Even you bought me one.
I had no choice.
We also make good cars.
It's what?
My secret garden.
Oh no...
It's not true...
Your mother and I
when we met,
we decided not to say it.
You know, the Germans and the French
haven't always been friends.
I know that.
It's beautiful, huh?
- It's beautiful, it's... a lot, above all.
- Look at.
- It's what?
- Official jersey
Germany 82.
Dedicated by Rummennigge.
Well I don't care.
You know, it was hard for me too.
When we looked
France / Germany together.
- I was in pain, it was horrible.
- You weren't for Germany?
If.
Oh...
World Cup 82, Seville,
were you for France?
- We even cried together.
- Yes I know.
For me, it was tears of joy.
Oh no, don't tell me that, Dad.
Battiston being attacked
by Schumacher?
For me, there's no fault.
Dad!
Oh no, Dad, please.
Come on...
Come on...
Do not complain.
Now that you are Franco-German,
you won six World Cups.
Yeah.
I don't know,
but it's still a little too early.
Oh fuck...
Oh shit.
This time, have you said everything?
Almost.
Eh?
Your real name...
It's Gerhardt.
Oh...
There is nothing?
Not a single Indian?
I don't see any Indians.
You have
a very beautiful family tree.
Everything is consistent.
I knew it. Bouvier-Sauvage
with feathers, it's surreal.
So the test is wrong?
Unfortunately no,
these tests are reliable.
Wait, I don't understand anymore.
My family tree,
is it true or is it false?
Are you the expert?
Yes it's me. Listen.
In every tree,
there is a rotten branch.
Pardon?
There is one thing against which
genealogy can do nothing.
But what is it?
Adultery.
The adult...
Ah, okay, you tell me
that my ancestors are prostitutes
who slept with Indians?
- That's not what I said.
- Yes, that's exactly it.
Your father slept
with a cleaning lady
to be stupid as a broom?
Oh no!
But there, there, there.
There, a moment ago...
I was told to go see a specialist.
This is the result!
A loser!
Grandmother,
tell me this isn't true...
Send me a sign.
Da Silva?
Dos Santos?
Oliveira!
Ferreira?
Stop.
- I didn't meet anyone.
- So much the better.
- I avoid my parents.
- It's the same with me.
Dad is almost depressed
and mom thinks she's Lady Di.
- Will they be okay?
- I hope.
What?
Oh!
Oh!
She's a squaw...
She's a squaw...
The Duchess and Charles?
They crossed the Atlantic.
You are the cousin
by Meghan Markle?
We must believe.
Oh! Oh no, but thats crazy!
- You're a star, actually?
- No Still not.
Oh well yes!
I was already doing my cousin's hair
by Pascal Obispo, but there...
- This is another level.
- Yes.
Ah but there you go!
That would be it.
- It looks nice.
- Hm hmm.
- It looks nice.
- Hm hmm.
But I'm not sure.
Lady Di and the royal family,
It wasn't true love.
I don't want to make a mistake.
Barely arrived, already out...
No, I think that would suit me well.
Oh yes.
- That would suit me, right?
- Oh yes.
- Do I have enough hair to do that?
- Oh yes.
How much do I owe you?
- It's on the house.
- Oh...
- How nice.
- Oh no, it's normal.
If you see the Windsors,
tell them that with us,
it's free for the royal family.
Even redheads.
You'll see,
I'm going to screw them all up.
Frederick? Frederick?
Frederick?
What are you doing?
Are you going crazy or what?
- I am Indian.
- What?
Look at.
I found that.
- I am Indian.
- But what is it?
That's Buffalo Bill and his gang.
Visiting France in 1905.
And that,
she's my great-grandmother,
Cassandre De Jenzac.
- Zoom.
Zoom!
Oh yes.
- I saw.
- She's my great-grandmother,
the rotten branch.
- Aren't you doing it a little too much?
No, but my whole family
is based on a lie.
Lie! Lie!
- Lie!
- Frdric, you are hysterical.
No, but a little fire dance,
Its fitting, right?
And There you go.
New haircut?
Yes, I wanted to change my mind.
Tea?
Are you drinking tea now?
Oh sure,
I always drank a little of it.
Tea.
Hello dear.
Good morning.
- Hello dad.
- But...
Do you notice anything?
- Well no, no, why?
- Oh...
Your father...
- Do you want some tea, darling?
- A little bit.
Not a lot.
So are you okay, son?
No, it's average.
Alice no longer speaks to her parents.
They're still mad at us.
They went from the Venice carnival
to The Cardboard Suitcase.
Ah! Hello fall!
- Ah, that's funny.
- Hmm.
Deep down, you know,
It's not that bad anymore.
Because these tests still have
changed a lot of things.
I haven't seen anything change, except
your hairspray and your little finger in the air.
The hair! I hadn't noticed!
Oh, but it's great!
It's beautiful, huh?
Oh, great, darling!
You know, if I'm part
of the British royal family,
you too are part of it.
Stop saying that, it's ridiculous.
You find this ridiculous,
but do you think
that Prince William
could have married a Portuguese woman?
Prince Harry,
because he does anything.
You too have become a specialist
of the royal family?
No,
I am interested in my in-laws.
Harry is not the subject.
Him, as soon as I meet him,
I'll have to talk to him.
Stopped,
you are not the queen of England.
You're still a housewife
who married a mechanic.
Dealer!
Not a mechanic, that has nothing to do with it.
Hm! My God,
but we forgot the milk.
Oh well yes. Milk, milk.
Enuffe?
What?
Enuffe?
Enough...
Good morning.
Good morning.
The cat is in the kitchen.
The cat is in the kitchen.
The cat is in the kitchen.
- Are you doing well?
- Are you doing well?
- Good morning.
- Good morning.
Hello Sir.
- I can help you?
- Uh...
Come on, open, open.
- Are you okay, Frdric?
- You haven't eaten anything.
- I'm not hungry.
Did you take your pills?
- Play me my movie.
- Show your pills?
- They are there.
- You have to take them.
Yes, what is it for?
- It serves.
- Put on the film.
- There's no sound.
- It's coming.
I do not hear anything.
Hold on!
- So.
Rest, my darling.
I'm coming back, I have an errand to run.
See you later.
- Take your pills!
- Yes, yes, my pills.
Oh...
There it is, the stamp.
Good morning.
I'm sorry.
Here, it's for you.
Oh thank you!
It will remind you of the country,
even if you don't know him.
This is my next trip,
whether Frdric agrees or not.
Ah, these French...
Who do you tell it to!
Sorry.
Hello?
Yes it's me.
My husband is at home, sleeping.
What?
I'm coming very soon.
There is a problem with Frdric.
Your Porto!
- Thank you, Maria. Sorry.
- See you soon.
- What happened?
- Ah, ma'am.
- Good morning.
- Good morning.
Chief Warrant Officer Pitou, Jean-Michel.
Hmm.
It's still unclear.
Obviously your husband has arrived
in a strange state.
Hm?
He insulted the manager
"Buffalo Steak"
saying to him
that he had massacred Indians.
Oh...
And Kevin Costner...
Then he took his car
and he rushed
in the Buffalo Bill statue.
Oh dear...
All you can eat fries day.
It hurts her.
I'm sorry.
My husband just had
painful news about his family.
Come on?
He is undergoing medical treatment
very heavy.
Oh yes, it was even very, very heavy.
So. Where is he?
- In the ambulance.
- Oh.
Samu
did not give sedatives.
Since he was
completely in the fog.
He should be better in an hour.
We must save bison.
- Save the bison!
- Yes.
Tatanka!
- Tatanka!
- Frederick.
Allow two hours instead.
Who is he?
Chief Warrant Officer Pitou Jean-Michel.
Jean-Michel Bison.
- Pitou.
- Bison.
Pitou.
Pfff, it tires me.
- He tires me out.
- Yes.
So that's a class E,
a family sedan.
Yes.
The space is impressive.
But what are you doing there?
I adore. It smells like my father's house.
It smells like Germany. Feel!
It smells of quality. You feel?
He speaks German.
Hey! And There you go!
My 50% German cracked.
Mercedes.
So, my princess?
How do you find your carriage?
Great!
Eh?
Great!
Great?
Hmm.
- Great.
- So, now, obviously...
I would have preferred a Rolls.
Next time, an Aston "Martin".
You are funny!
So how is he doing?
He's shot.
He spoke to me, I didn't understand anything.
Ah good?
Is your mother not too worried?
- My mother is fed up, especially.
- Oh dear.
And you? Your parents?
Oh, it's better. Much better.
Mr. and Mrs. Martin, welcome.
Thank you for receiving us,
Mr. Ambassador.
No no,
I am just a simple advisor.
The ambassador is busy
to more important tasks.
You are welcome.
It is not the ambassador.
What are you doing?
I throw them away.
But finally,
They are in perfect condition!
Moccasins are Indian. I throw.
Are tassel moccasins Indian?
Moccasins are Indian.
The tassels are French.
Oh, but there, no, but there...
And the cat? Should I throw it away too?
- What are you talking about?
- I don't know.
I took a DNA test.
He is not Angora, he is Tunisian.
Shall we keep it anyway?
Very funny.
I learn that I am not French,
I'm touched.
You, arent you French?
Apparently not.
You? But look at you, Frdric.
Open your eyes, you're never happy.
You don't like anyone.
- Please.
- It's true.
You don't like Italians.
They are too liars.
- You don't like the Spanish.
- Too proud.
Irritants.
You love by the Portuguese.
I try so hard for you,
Dear.
Me, when I see you,
I see a real Frenchman.
The very archetype of the Frenchman
sitting on his certainties
and who loves no one but wine,
cheese
and hunting.
Before, you had a feather in your ass.
You have it on your head.
It's only you who sees a difference.
Mrs. Martin.
I have the honor to confirm to you
that you are...
the back-back-back
back-back-back-back
back-back-back-back
great-grandcousin
of the Queen of England Elizabeth.
Oh! Oh thank you!
Thank you so much.
"Fuck you. Fank you very much."
Hmm.
Your direct relative,
it's Philippe de Cognac.
the illegitimate son
by Richard the Lionheart.
Oh, Lionheart. It was noted.
Like cheese.
I prefer the Caprice of the Gods.
He only had a small fortune.
Quickly squandered.
Reason why
there are no more titles
or related domain
to your branch of the family.
What did he say?
Is there no Lady Nicole?
Unfortunately no.
And no Sir Grard either?
Neither.
However, you have the right
to this authentic certificate
which proves your distant relationship
with the British family.
I allowed myself
to put you
some souvenir gifts.
My darling...
we have to go.
So.
- Will you greet the Court on my behalf?
- It will be done.
- Mr. Martin?
No, I'm German.
Royal family of Prussia.
No, working-class family from Munich.
It's fado, it's Portuguese.
Yes I know.
How do you dance fado?
I don't know.
- How do you say "big idiot" in Cherokee?
- I don't know either.
I gave you a hard time, I'm a loser.
Oh yes.
- And?
- And uh...
And a selfish one.
Yes.
- And...
- Eh?
- And one...
- And what else? A...
- And a fool!
- So. So. And a fool.
Did you hurt your wife
and you were odious.
Hmm.
I beg your pardon.
My attitude is unforgivable.
I'm an idiot, but I'm getting better.
- We'll see.
- Oh yes.
- I'll open a good bottle for us.
- I'm taking care of it.
- Oh no, it's up to the man to open.
- Hey!
- Or to the woman. So.
- So.
That's what I was going to say.
Get us a really good bottle.
Yes.
- Oh!
- Oh!
- So we stay in the mood?
- Absolutely.
How do you say "Porto" in Portuguese?
Port.
Porto, there you go, very good.
- Yours.
- Tchin.
Hm!
You like?
Ah but I love it!
How do you find that?
Tasty.
- Tasty?
- Oh yes.
And?
And... And...
- And even delicious.
- Delicious?
- And?
- And...
Well, it's... It's...
I have never been a fan of cooked wines.
But this is delicious.
Ugh. Silver Coyote.
Guten tag.
-Gerhardt.
- Ah!
Schne wagen!
Wunderbar!
Mom?
Was she waiting for us?
She said:
Come to an aperitif with Franois.
I couldn't make it up.
Oh?
Surprise!
What are you doing here?
We were kindly invited
to have a drink with friends.
And your friends are delighted to see you.
It's better?
It's okay, my darling.
I apologized to your mother
and Nicole and Grard.
There's only you left.
- Oh.
- Good, Frdric.
- A toast?
- A toast to friendship.
And as we all come together
and reconciled, we said to each other
that we could drink
at your wedding.
- At your wedding!
- At your wedding!
It's very nice,
but there is no more marriage.
How?
What?
You can't do this to us!
It's all our fault.
When I learned that I was German,
I reacted badly.
I thought I was a noblewoman.
I invented a life for myself.
Pardon.
- I am the only one responsible.
- Yes.
- I was a snob.
- Yes.
- Ill-mannered and stupid.
- It's true.
It is not false.
Thank you for your support.
I do not blame you.
Thanks to the test,
I was looking for my origins
and it opened my heart and mind.
Ah!
We have to tell you the truth.
There will be no wedding because...
I wish I could go back
in the wedding dress.
Oh, beautiful!
That's great, my darling.
No, but thats great!
Congratulations!
One more little Wild Bouvier,
That's two at once!
No, no, don't tell me that?
- Not two at once?
- Eh?
Ah but no, don't worry,
I'm not pregnant.
- It is with great pleasure
that I present to you
the latest addition to the castle,
the work of my wife Catherine,
the first Porto
produced entirely in Aquitaine.
The Bouvier-Souvage!
Well done!
You don't like Port.
No way.
Your mother thinks I love it, don't say anything.
Cheers!
- Cheers.
- You'll see.
Taste, it is typical of cooked wine.
Eh?
There you go, darling.
Hmm. So.
The women enter the gallery
with you and you deserve it.
Thank you dad.
- I'm very proud.
- When's mom's?
- Oh.
- Eh? Yes, so that...
- She should become friendly.
Thank you, thank you very much.
There's the heir.
THANKS. Oh, I'm good?
See you at the cocktail party,
we can discuss.
Hop. THANKS. Thank you so much.
How are you?
- I put on my lucky charm.
- I saw it, Dad.
Next time, avoid white.
I raise my glass
to my wonderful grandson,
who will take over from me
at the head of our vineyards.
It's the most beautiful job in the world.
I give the floor to Grard
who has a few words to say to you.
- Thanks thanks thanks.
They have matured, our men.
- It was time.
- Yeah.
Me, too, I... Thank you, thank you.
I wanted to say
that I was very happy to welcome
this beautiful grandson
in the Martin family.
No doubt he will follow in the footsteps
of his grandfather,
by becoming a dealer,
the most beautiful profession.
Who knows?
Welcome to you, Julien...
William...
Joao...
Hans...
Martin!
You are starting out in life
with many advantages,
because you are Franco-German-Portuguese...
britannico...
Cherokee.
Cherokee...
He is the one we should applaud.
No, but Grard
is teasing, I'm not Cherokee,
I'm American.
- To be precise.
- No no no no!
- It's Cherokee. Cherokee.
- No.
- Okay, but anyway...
They are American Indians.
I'm American.
Hmm... American.
So, excuse me, but American...
Someone needs to explain it to me.
The Indians became cowboys.
Explain to me how.
I drank a little, but still.
- We don't agree.
- If.
We agree
that we don't agree on anything.
- It is not false.
- But we raise our glass
to our grandson.
A Cherokee
who will become a concessionaire.
I raise my glass
to my American grandson
who will inherit the Chteau de Janzac
and its vines.
Well done!
Come on.
How are you?
This is the lab.
There is a problem with the tests.
- Whose tests?
- Dad's.
- What, isn't he Cherokee?
- Yes, at 15%.
It's the other 85% that's the problem.
Why, what is he?
Oh fuck.
Yeah.
Prost!
Oh! Health!
Hiventy by TransPerfect
Your DNA test results
arrived.
Great, thank you.
Don't you open them?
No, it's for my parents
and my in-laws.
This is the first meeting.
I hope this breaks the ice.
We did this at Christmas.
My dad is 10% Australian.
We offered kangaroo underwear.
It's true? That's promising, then.
You are welcome.
Good...
SO...
To be honest,
we hesitate with a Mercedes.
Ah ah! Mercedes!
There are always people
who want to buy German...
You know why these cars
are more powerful?
They have better engineers?
Lost.
Because in Germany,
there is no speed limit.
Over there,
there is an interest in having a V6
with injection which pushes up to 280.
But in France?
What's the point of buying 80,000 euros?
to make 130?
- It is not false.
- No, it's not false.
As I always say:
You want a Mercedes?
Go live in Germany."
So. Finally...
Do you want to live there?
- Madam?
- No.
- Thierry? Germany?
- Certainly not, no.
Average, huh?
Nobody wants.
Even the Germans are hesitant.
No, honestly...
Your happiness is in France.
With a beautiful French car.
Hmm. Hm?
Come on!
As I always say:
When you come to Peugeot,
you dont go back to Merco anymore!
Okay, are you ready for the meeting?
Obviously I'm ready.
I am delighted to meet
Alice's parents.
She's great.
We love him and your father a lot.
- I know. She loves you too.
The only thing:
I don't know how to dress.
You have to make a good impression.
- Oh well, I don't worry.
- Oh well no.
Your father and I,
we don't show manners.
Here, Franois, try to ride it,
I don't know.
I haven't seen you with a tie
since Thomas' marriage.
- That was the one.
- Is the costume the same?
- I would like.
- Well, there you go.
Oh!
- Gorgeous!
- Say, very elegant,
Mom.
- Thank you darling.
I'm trying to be on your father's level.
Hold on.
Oh...
You're better like this.
- My God it's magnificent!
- It's pretty.
A little cold, but pretty.
Here we are at the Chteau de Janzac,
estate of the Bouvier-Sauvage family.
They make their wine
for hundreds of years.
Oh damn!
- Well...
- Yes...
- You will take from the statues.
- Right there?
- We did well to dress up a little.
- Yeah.
I did well
not to bring wine.
It's long.
Yes, we still can't see the house.
It's not a house, it's a castle.
They shouldn't have
put the gate that far.
Ah, there he is.
Ah anyway!
- Oh yeah...
- That's it?
It's fancy, huh...
It's really nice, huh?
- No, no, it's fancy.
- Ah! Yes!
- Plush.
- Go ahead, go under the porch.
You will find a space in the parking lot.
Ah yes, there's no shortage of space.
Oh yeah.
- It's amazing, eh!
- Here we are.
- Oh my God...
- Oh...
German cars,
I'm not surprised.
- Don't start, darling.
- We're going, yes?
I'm going to ruin all my heels.
Don't start, darling.
- Shit, I forgot the flowers.
- Here, the keys.
THANKS.
Go ahead, I'll join you!
Hello, I am Grard Martin,
I am Franois father.
This is my wife Nicole.
Are you Mrs. Bouvier-Sauvage?
Oh no, sir,
I am the housekeeper.
Ooh, no, yes, it's Maria.
She's the housekeeper.
You are welcome.
Are you okay, Maria?
- Yes very well and you?
- Yes thanks.
- Oh yes.
- SO?
Uh well...
- I'll take your jacket.
- Oh yes.
- Show your coat.
- Oh yes.
- Here, darling.
- Yeah.
Thank you, Franois.
Yes...
A rug on the wall,
it's original...
Good morning!
Hello, welcome.
How are you doing?
- Very well and you?
- Catherine Bouvier-Sauvage.
Nice to meet you.
Nicole...Martin...
Finally, Nicole Martin.
Delighted too.
- Catherine Bouvier-Sauvage.
- Grard Martin.
- You were confused with the housekeeper.
- Oh...
It's original,
that had never happened to me.
Hello Francois.
- Hello, Catherine.
- How are you?
- Thanks very much.
Hold.
To thank you for your welcome.
They're pretty, it's very nice.
Thank you so much. Maria?
You put this for me in a pretty vase,
Please?
Good morning!
Oh, Alice, what a pleasure to see you!
Welcome to the house.
We are happy to be there.
- Me too.
- And U.S. too.
Since the time
that we wanted to introduce to you!
- Huh, mom?
- Finally!
Follow me.
Frdric is waiting for us in the small living room.
Go ahead, come in.
Oh, how are you?
Frdric Bouvier-Sauvage, delighted.
-Nicole Martin.
- Frdric Bouvier-Sauvage.
- Delighted, delighted, delighted.
- Grard Martin.
But oh!
I see who Franois is
holds his sparkling gaze.
Oh, thanks for the compliment.
I think it was for me, Mom.
Badly brought up!
That's more from his dad
that he has this.
It's possible, right, darling?
They complimented the domain.
- Oh yes.
- Its an exceptional place.
Yes, it's true. It's true.
600 hectares of land,
including 500 vines.
Without pretention,
I think I can say...
That... more or less, it's a
of the most beautiful properties in Aquitaine.
Shall I show you?
The Chteau de Janzac is in my family
for over 500 years.
We just lost it
during the 2nd World War,
when the Germans occupied it.
It was the headquarters
of Marshal Van Kloug.
Yes, from May 43 to July 44.
Until
where he returned to Berlin.
He had participated in the plot
against Hitler by Stauffenberg.
- Yes yes.
- In the wolf's den.
- You know who I mean?
- Um yes.
- The Germans, still poorly behaved!
- Yes this...
It's the least we can say.
If this interests you,
Should I show you around?
- My pleasure.
- Come with me.
- Come.
- I would be afraid of getting lost.
Oh, beautiful beast, eh!
- I knew you would like it.
- I love billiards.
- I almost bought one.
- It's a French billiards table.
So I play American.
As in all PMU bars.
This one is a real billiards table.
We do not put the piece
to make the balls fall.
Yes, it's less fun, too.
Yes, it's less fun.
But finally, no...
French billiards,
its a sport of strategy.
It's cerebral,
these are combinations.
It is played with three balls,
without the holes.
Like ptanque.
That, I don't know, I don't play it.
It's a shame,
its also very fun.
Without a doubt. Without a doubt.
I'm going to show you something
something that will interest you.
- Oh dear! Oh dear!
- Shit.
Anyway,
there is no hole, so...
Fun, fun, fun.
- So, let's continue.
- I've rarely seen that.
- It's majestic.
- THANKS.
- Is everything okay, ladies?
- Alright.
- Honey, you missed something.
- What?
A magnificent winter garden
with orange trees,
very rare orchids.
- We also have a winter garden.
We call it a veranda.
And here is my family photo.
You have, gathered here,
a number of my ancestors
since the 13th century, that's it.
- That's crazy!
- Yes yes.
We couldn't fit everything.
There are many great men
in my family.
Choices had to be made.
This was before feminism.
Because, as you see,
than men.
- No, but I know!
It's hard to imagine,
but we built all this,
the great kingdom of France,
feared, adored, respected
before feminism.
How did we do it?
To be respected,
you have to evolve a little.
It's not the moment.
What? To defend women?
I always told you that.
You leave me the 14th,
the 15th, 16th and 17th century,
please
and I gladly return the 21st to you.
Okay, see you in the living room. Come.
Do I finish the visit?
From here until 1834,
you have all the Dukes of Janzac.
The title was granted to my ancestor
Anselme Bouvier by Louis IX.
It was Greater Saint-Louis.
For bravery during the 7th Crusade.
He cut off the foot of a Saracen
during a scuffle with the king.
Ooh there!
It's only much later
that my great-grandfather
Gonzague Bouvier de Janzac
had no male heir
and lost the title
at the wedding of his only daughter
Genevive Bouvier de Janzac in 1834.
- Ah darn!
- Oh yes, its nerd.
Finally!
We consider ourselves
always like dukes. So.
The proof: one of our great wines
is called "Duke of Janzac".
- Oh yes anyway!
- But OK.
Maybe let's go and freshen up,
Dear.
Its fitting.
We return
from a trip to Tuscany.
- Thank you, Maria.
- We go there every year.
- Oh?
Catherine is of Italian origin.
His grandmother was a princess.
She is not very objective,
but we must recognize
that our Italian friends
are very knowledgeable
in gastronomy...
and in wine! And in wine!
- Yes!
It's true,
it's a wonderful place.
As I am of Italian origin,
I feel at home.
This is, quite simply,
it's in my genes.
And yet,
Genoa is not in Tuscany.
No, it's not in Tuscany!
- Sorry, sorry, sorry.
- We are very France
in our travels, eh?
- Exactly.
France
is the most beautiful country in the world.
- Eh yes.
- We don't have enough of one life
to discover everything.
There are beautiful things
near our home.
- Exactly.
- My parents know well
Barbados, the Grenadine Islands and Bali,
but they never went
in Brittany.
But no?
- No.
- We'll go when we're old.
- So.
- Yes so...
We mainly visit France.
But Grard forgets a small detail:
he doesn't take the plane.
- Ah!
- Obviously, that doesn't help.
- You imagine? Not to take the plane?
- No.
I sell cars,
this is my passion.
As soon as I no longer touch the ground,
I am not well.
Of course.
What cars do you sell?
French cars. Peugeot.
Hmm.
You know?
Of course.
Personally, I've never had one.
- We have a housekeeper who has a...
- A 206.
An old 206.
She seems to be happy with it.
You surprise me,
it is the best-selling model.
The 206 is indestructible.
- Ah good?
- The 208 too.
Very reliable. All our cars.
Well...
I have the biggest concession
from all of Aquitaine.
Come see me.
I will show you our latest model.
Well okay.
You know,
I'm very "German car".
- I like the quality.
- Ba ba ba ba!
We will speak again
when you come to my house.
I believe that cars,
it's a bit like wine.
If we have the right models,
it works and if we have
crappy models are bad.
That's what I tell my clients.
I'm not a good salesman,
I sell good products.
Obviously.
French, eh. French.
Have you already tasted my wine?
Ah, uh, no. Never.
So listen, come with me.
We'll check this right away.
Drop the champagne,
you'll see.
It's another journey.
Let's go.
Duke of Janzac, 1955.
Ooh there.
Oh, he smells good, huh?
Hmm.
Hm!
He's still pretty drunk, isn't he?
And at the same time,
you can smell the blackberry behind.
And then, at the end of the mouth...
A little bit of tobacco
mixed with leather. Eh?
Leather, I don't really feel it,
but it is very good.
It's normal.
My palate is used to it.
It runs through my veins.
It is the same for me.
I can tell a V6 from a V8
eyes closed.
Oh yes, wonderful.
And when I see
these bottles accumulated there
for over a century
by my ancestors,
I feel proud.
You can be proud.
I realize my responsibility.
Not to drink too much?
- No no!
To be a Wild Cattle Dog.
Eh? Yes.
A Bouvier-Sauvage cannot be
average or mediocre.
Even billiards?
Touch! Touch!
Very funny. Very funny.
But today...
It's all Alice's.
She is the one who will take over.
She will get there without any worries.
She's great, your kid.
Since Franois has been with her,
he is transformed.
I have no doubt about it.
What I mean,
is that at a given moment,
she will have to make a life choice
in accordance with its...
its damn origins.
- Yes, I know, yes.
They are so in love...
Honestly, without taking any risks...
I have the impression
that his decision is made.
Oh no, not at all.
- Does their story seem to work?
- Yes...
It's a pretty love affair,
a pleasant adventure.
But anyway... Alice,
his life is all mapped out.
I have no doubt that when the time comes,
she will make the right choice.
Oh. It's the same for my son.
He too will have to make the right choice.
Yes but no.
How's that, no?
Even with all respect
that I owe you, Grard,
selling cars is not the same.
We,
we inherit a cultural heritage.
We are Bouvier-Sauvage.
To a big family,
big responsibilities.
Even if it doesn't amuse us
every day.
- Well 8, huh.
- 8?
We would have had 8.
We had to hold him back, Grard.
Yes. Ah!
What is happening?
You're all alone?
- Did you drink a lot? You're all pale.
- No do not worry.
Excuse us,
we had things to say to each other.
Yes, yes, absolutely.
Speaking of important things,
we have an announcement.
It is now.
If we organized this meeting,
this is to tell you that Franois
asked for my hand and I said yes.
- We will get married!
- Oh!
That's wonderful.
I'm happy
for you children.
- THANKS!
Well done! Hmm...
I'm proud of you.
- Mom.
- Yes my darling.
- I love you.
- Me too.
- I'm happy.
- Us too, my darling.
It's sudden,
but this is big news.
Ah! Alice, Alice, Alice!
The queen of surprises.
You don't like surprises.
Admit that this one makes you happy.
I want you to be happy.
I'm very happy, dad!
- Well, there you go. So. So.
- Kathryn!
Frederick...
For a first meeting,
it's a lot of emotions.
- Yes.
- Catherine, I kiss you.
- Yes.
Thank you sir.
- THANKS.
- Of course we didn't expect it.
- It's a big surprise.
Welcome to the family, Frdric.
It's a pleasure.
It is an honor.
And a responsibility! Ooh there.
Did you know?
No.
But I knew that when the time came,
Alice would make the right choice.
Ah ha.
My friends, I propose
as we fill our glasses.
Eh? So.
And let us lift them...
- Frederick?
- Hmm?
- Oh dear.
- No more?
And we lift them
in honor of the newlyweds.
With all our best wishes.
To the future bride and groom!
To the future bride and groom!
And to the union
of our two families.
- To the union of our families!
- Of our two families.
- It's a pleasure,
but it is also an honor.
To the union of...
Of our two families.
And! And!
And Alice's good choice.
Oh yes.
Yes, it's okay, we understand.
Did you drink too much or what?
No, no, I'm happy.
This is big news.
Huh, Frdric?
Is this big news?
In general,
we organize this at the bride's house.
Yes, it's even a tradition.
Eh? The traditions...
Absolutely, it's tradition.
If we respect traditions...
Your domain
is so sumptuous...
Yes, it is true that the property
is a true gem.
You have to find the right time.
Yes, in September,
these are the grape harvests,
at the end of the year, Courchevel...
Hmm.
Spring is Tuscany.
Ah yes, you are very busy.
- Yes.
- Will you be at my wedding?
Of course my dear.
We, next year,
we have a lot of time available.
No worries, we'll take care of you.
So.
- Shall we have dessert in the living room?
-Very good idea.
We are very good here for dessert.
No, no, don't bother.
We are very good here.
We're staying here and looking for a date.
No, listen, Alice,
Now that's enough.
We're not going to settle this marriage,
now, at the corner of a table!
We can start.
That's not how we do it.
It's rushed.
- We didn't have an engagement.
- Nobody does that anymore!
Yes, well thats a shame!
Listen, Arlette and Grard...
Nicole. I'm Nicole.
Of course, Nicole.
Why do I say "Arlette"?
No, no, Nicole and Grard...
- Gerard.
- A marriage,
for our family, it is heavy with meaning,
of consequences.
I also explained to Grard,
he understood very well.
We are Bouvier-Sauvage.
To a big family,
great responsibilities.
It's been a long time.
- Oh yes.
- No, you understand,
I don't even know the name of...
-Nicole.
- And of...
Gerard.
- I don't know what your name is going to be.
- Martin.
The last name is Martin.
It's nice, Martin.
- Well, it's Martin.
- Yes, it's pretty.
There are many,
of the Martins, in France.
Hey, just the guy
who repairs tractors,
with the big nose there.
His name is Durand.
- It's all the same.
- Dad...
Why not Dupond,
for that matter?
Frederick...
Sorry, excuse me.
Dupond, there...
No, you're not apologizing.
It didn't go far.
Dupond is my maiden name.
- Oh yes?
- Dessert in the living room?
- It's a good idea.
Have you calmed down?
Do you want me to get married?
I have nothing against this marriage, my darling.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy
aristocrat who opposes it.
- There is no risk.
- It's amazing.
This meeting is an opportunity
to know each other better.
- Exactly.
Precisely, in this regard,
we have a little gift for you.
- Dad, you're going to like it a lot.
- Oh well, what is it?
My lab is American.
They offered us DNA tests.
Oh!
How does your thing work?
It works well!
It is used a lot in genealogy.
This is tremendous progress.
It's not surprising.
It details all your origins.
It allows you to find a family
that we didn't know.
I saw that one day in the newspaper.
It's original,
Its a change from the usual gifts.
What a good idea!
That you are interested in your origins,
nothing could make me happier.
Dogs don't make cats, Dad.
I don't know my family.
Mom was single
and orphaned at 5 years old.
I don't know anything about my origins.
So say between that and marriage,
it's a lot of emotions.
Oh yes?
Are the results long after?
The results, here they are.
Eh?
Here it is for you, Dad.
Are the results already there?
- These tests are quick.
- How did you do?
We took the samples.
No need to wait.
I took some of your hair.
- Ah good?
- Dad, I got a bandage
when you cut yourself.
Mom, I took your hair.
And dad, your beard hair.
SO? Who starts?
You looked at them,
the results?
- It's for you.
- We don't know what's in there.
It's crazy to think that all my life
is enclosed in a small envelope.
- Eh yes.
- Anyway...
I have always been French.
I can start.
Finally a brave one.
No, I have nothing to hide.
We have nothing to hide either.
Our DNA test
is on the walls of this castle.
We are in France
since Louis VI the Fat.
And without the fire of the Paris archives
in 1033,
we would have gone up
until Pepin the Short.
You know who I mean?
- Charlemagne's father.
- Oh yes.
So.
- Well, I'll get started.
- Go ahead, come on.
Hm hmm.
SO...
Suspense, suspense...
Oh fuck...
What's the matter?
- Oh fuck!
- What was written there?
- He's probably Bulgarian.
- Frederick!
But what?
- Damn, I'm German!
- No?
Oh damn!
50% off!
- Oh damn!
- But no?
- Yes it is.
- German?
- What could have happened?
- Well yes, German.
- You never told me.
- I did not know!
How it is possible? At 50%?
- Look at!
- Say, so your tests are reliable?
Yes, it's scientific.
- 50%, I don't believe it.
- It's violent.
There's nothing serious,
you will learn more about your family.
I'm going to have a conversation
with my dad.
If it's my father!
- Yes, it's a shock.
- It's not getting better.
- 50%!
- He took a shovel.
- Some water.
- So. So.
- THANKS.
I don't understand.
My parents don't speak German.
- I would have known, right?
- Your parents hid it from you.
At a time,
it wasn't very popular.
It's still not so much
Today.
Family secrets exist.
This one is big!
Hm hmm.
You never had any suspicions?
What kind?
One of your parents who listens to Wagner,
very exalted?
Or who is a fan of sauerkraut
or uniform?
Or who dreams of invading Poland
by getting drunk on dark beer?
- Ah, very funny.
- No but...
I'm just trying to help, that's all.
I do not believe it.
- Let's have a drink to recover.
- Very good idea.
Come on, finally,
It's all quite amusing.
- Oh well no.
- Well, come on, I suggest you
to raise our glass to health
from our friend Grard.
To Gerhardt!
- Frederick!
Sorry, excuse me.
It was too tempting.
Let's toast to great Germany.
Oh no.
Dad, that's enough.
But what? Is this your idea?
We can laugh a little about it, right?
No, now you're forgetting your manners.
We can accommodate
our guests correctly.
You can't blame me
for having received him badly.
The proof is,
his Nazi grandparents
occupied the castle from 40 to 44.
- Honey, let's go, get up.
- Dad, please.
Its German rigor.
At 8 p.m., everyone goes to bed, presto!
We throw the meat in the cloth!
You want me to lend you
my Porsche to get home?
It is electric.
It's better than a 408.
That's enough, come and apologize!
You apologize, Frdric.
I'm sorry.
Given my family history,
I have a personal problem
with the Germans,
It has nothing to do with you.
Please clarify this.
Well yes, of course.
- It's not against you.
- Nicole, Grard, you stay.
Germany is a very beautiful country.
We're not going to argue about that.
Be proud of your origins.
- She's right, it's beautiful.
Your country is beautiful, my darling.
Be happy:
you can go there by car.
Yes, it's full of highways.
- And then not limited.
- I'm sorry for being so tense.
It's so sudden.
I need to digest.
Do you want a little Schnapps?
Your grandparents
perhaps left some in the cellar?
No, but you are right.
It's better to laugh about it.
It doesn't change who I am.
I still have a big concession
and I remain French.
This is the right attitude!
If the Germans go to war,
Its win/win.
The Gerhardt sits quietly
on his sofa
and he waits for the name of the winner.
We didn't think
that it was going to upset you.
No worries, it's fine.
We were talking about an original gift,
it succeeded.
Come on, prost. Um...cheers.
Realizing that we had Nazis
In his family...
- What did he say?
- Nothing at all.
The best thing is to stop.
We had enough emotions.
- Yes yes.
- It's better like that.
Come on, we had a good laugh.
Let's talk about something else.
At the same time,
now that we've started...
Could we continue a little?
Uh...
It's true, your mother is right.
I would love to see what happens next.
We could laugh.
It's not a game, Grard.
That made you laugh, didn't it?
Not really.
We were sorry for you.
Mom?
I do not know.
Nicole, go ahead, if you want.
The Martins have started.
- I think this is more up to you.
- Oh yes.
She means "yours", darling.
Thanks for your help.
There's no suspense with me.
It's true that it's weird.
Do not worry.
Grard is German, the worst is over.
- Ah ah ah!
- Go ahead anyway.
SO...
Oh!
But what?
Catherine!
She feels unwell,
she's having a vagal!
Are you okay my darling?
What happened?
I am portuguese.
What?
I am portuguese!
Anything.
What are you saying?
What the hell is this?
20% Portuguese?
What is this bullshit?
20%!
Is it fake?
Is this to humiliate us?
I'm not fine? These are real tests.
We all come from a mixture.
It's pretty.
I make great wines.
Mixing is not my thing!
No, but I understood that.
What are you doing, darling?
This is a yoga position:
downward facing dog, reversed.
Leave me, it calms me down.
- Downward facing dog, reversed.
- How are you mom?
No. I'm not Italian.
No.
I am portuguese.
Yeah.
- Here, darling.
- Calm down.
Drink your scotch. It will perk you up.
THANKS. THANKS.
Gently. One foot in front of the other.
- It'll be OK?
- Yes, thank you.
But Maria?
What's wrong with you?
Welcome to the family, Catherine.
Already, it's "Madame Bouvier-Sauvage",
nothing changes.
I am portuguese
at 20% so that leaves me
80% French!
This is enough to affirm
that we are not from the same family!
I'm not fine?
- Being Portuguese is not a shame.
- Excuse me,
but 5 minutes ago,
I was the granddaughter
of a princess of Venice.
I find myself
Portuguese cousin of my housekeeper.
So let me digest.
If I may, to digest,
Port is great.
You're tiring.
- You're heavy.
- When I'm German, we laugh
and when Catherine is Portuguese,
is it funnier?
I'm not Portuguese.
A little bit.
It's okay now, we understand.
Oh!
No, but don't worry,
My love. Really.
For me, it doesn't change anything.
I love you so much.
Oh well happy again!
What does it mean?
Eh?
Nothing at all. Nothing at all.
I love you just as you are,
whether you are Romanian or Portuguese.
I thank you for your support,
Really.
I love you mom.
Thank you darling.
My parents always told me
that we had Italian origins.
Ah well its definitely Italian,
it is more...
Than Portuguese.
- Have you ever had any doubts?
- But no.
Nothing! Nothing.
Not even a grandmother
with excessive hair growth?
A grand father
fan of false ceilings?
An aunt who fished for cod?
He never stops.
No, but it will be necessary.
No, but I'm trying to help.
- It missed.
- That's very kind of you,
but I prefer to be a Portuguese
sad as a friend of the Boches.
- Oh!
- Well, its certain that with us,
we don't accept just anyone.
- We have a sense of selection.
- Ooh La La!
Then,
Gerhardt, don't go into this field,
because German, selection,
It reminds us of bad times.
- Oh, very funny!
- I am very serious.
The Third Reich is stuffed
good memories for you,
but for us,
it still doesn't work.
- Lets' go.
- Ah yes, very good idea.
Come on, a little episode of Derrick
and to bed.
I go to the toilet.
-Schnell!
- Schnell?
- I accompany you.
- He said schnell!
He said schnell! Ah ah!
I can not believe!
That's the pompom.
- You're not holding them back?
- No no.
I take care of your mother
and I manage your little surprise.
Oh because it's my fault?
What matters is what you do,
not what you are.
But when I think
that we spent a small fortune
so that they teach you this at school!
Frederick?
There's a leak in the gallery.
Oh no, not my ancestors!
- More than that was missing.
- It is a disaster!
Ask Maria to call a plumber!
- We're going.
- No, go ahead.
- It's not okay, right?
- Yes, go ahead.
Oh dear! Oh!
We have to turn off the water
in the boiler room!
- Where is your boiler room?
- Eh?
- The boiler room over there!
- So let's go.
I don't understand anything about it.
There is a valve that shuts everything off.
- I don't know which one.
- Calms you.
Let me do it. I watch.
There are two circuits, it's not surprising.
Um, that must be it.
Yes, that's the one.
Oh shit! Oh fuck!
- He has the flu.
- Ah, shit, shit, shit!
Instead of saying "shit",
give me a pliers!
- Damn, damn! Keys.
- Something to unscrew.
- Keys, are you okay?
- Yeah, the keys. This one, very good.
Very well very well.
Ah! It's coming!
- Ah, well done, you saved my life.
- It's closed.
- Well done.
- When you have the right tools...
- Yes.
- Oh! Bosch.
That, you, the Germans, the tools,
cars are your thing.
Grard found the right valve,
we turned off the water.
- Thank you, Grard.
- Oh, you know,
when you have the right tools...
Is the plumber on his way?
Maria refused to call him.
- Well why?
- If mom
had not been odious,
we wouldn't be there.
It's my fault now.
- Yeah.
- No, but it continues!
It continues!
- Honey, shall we go?
- You're not going to leave like that?
Especially after what Grard did,
it is not correct.
- It wasn't much.
- Yes, sit down.
- Let's have something to drink.
- Come on.
- Come on, sit down.
- Yes, Mr. Ribeiro.
It's still...
There really is an emergency there.
You're at a wedding, I understand.
What if I give you more in cash?
Of course...
You're at a wedding, yes.
Yeah yeah.
What if I say that my wife
is Portuguese,
it changes?
I'm not fine?
Oh yes,
she is completely Portuguese.
You know them like I do.
They are nice,
but with character.
But exactly! So!
So. What?
Great, Mr Ribeiro, thank you!
He comes.
Awesome.
He wants to talk to you.
Out of the question!
Either that or you no longer have hot water.
Yes, she is delighted,
I'll pass it on to you, Mr. Ribeiro.
You're going to pay me for that.
Yes hello.
Yes, we have a big leak
on a radiator.
Yes. How?
I'm Portuguese, yes, absolutely.
Yes quite. Quite.
A pride, you can imagine.
A great pride, a joy, oh my.
That's it, thank you!
You're happy?
Did you get what you wanted?
I find it very humiliating.
- But anyway, Catherine.
- How are you!
What? We have a leak, we have a leak.
It's better to be Portuguese
as the granddaughter of a princess.
Especially to find a plumber.
It was sure
that he was going to find the controller.
- It's a manual.
Exactly, here is the plumber.
Darling?
Do not even think about it.
Ah, Mr. Ribeiro!
Thank you for coming so quickly.
- How nice.
- You are welcome.
- I'll show you the leak.
- THANKS.
Do you want to say hello to your cousin?
- I do not want to disturb.
- So.
Besides, we don't have time. THANKS.
For the family, we don't bother.
- I don't mind.
- Catherine will be so happy.
Bastard...
- Never...
- But there she is, the cousin.
Your cousin wants to greet you.
Good evening.
It came
because you are Portuguese.
- How nice.
What?
- Are you doing well?
- It will get better
when you have fixed everything.
- Do you show him?
- Of course.
I almost didn't come, huh?
I was at the Da Silva wedding.
You know them?
- No.
- We only know them.
Their son marries little Da Pinto.
She works in the bank.
You know them?
Neither.
No Portuguese?
No.
Beautiful women like you
come from the Porto region.
That's it? I am wrong? No?
Where are you from?
From Versailles.
No, but in Portugal?
I don't know.
What is your name?
Da Silva? Pinto? Santo?
Carvalho? Ribeiro?
Rodrigo? Ferreiro?
Rodrigues? Goncalves?
Fernandez? Lopes?
Ferreira? Perreira? Oliveira?
No.
No?
I am Catherine Bouvier-Sauvage.
- Ah! Savage?
- Savage.
Yes, Savage!
Its Portuguese, that, Souvage.
Oh well yes, thats for sure.
She is not Portuguese.
She's a liar.
You're not Portuguese?
Well of course.
I don't know what Maria is talking about.
She is Portugese.
We have all the papers here.
Look.
Look, it's written there.
Hmm. Are you 20% Portuguese?
Yes.
Like VAT? That's a sign.
Ah ah ah ah! VAT!
- You have it?
- Ah!
- He doesn't have it.
- Yes, yes, yes, yes.
I'm teasing you.
- I show you.
- OK.
- Ah ah! VAT!
SO?
It's the purge.
The purge?
It purges more.
- It's obvious.
- Why does it purge more?
Is this your family?
Yes, absolutely, yes.
They are Portuguese?
Ah, today,
We're not sure of anything anymore, are we?
Oh, yes.
- Shall I show you the boiler?
- Yes.
The purge of what...
There you go, the naughty one. Good.
I gave you the water again.
You will have to change your boiler,
Mr. Souvage.
I will look at it.
You have to buy German.
They're the best.
Tell that to my friend, Grard.
He is German. Eh?
- It's not true, he's German?
- No, no, finally... I...
- He sells boilers?
- Cars.
Mercedes?
No, Peugeot.
A German who sells Peugeots!
- She's not ordinary, that one!
- Here we go?
Yeah yeah.
Say, a German, a Portuguese,
There are only half-breeds in your house.
Not me, no.
- I have always been French.
- Too bad for you.
For what? Are you mixed race?
Of course. 50% Lisbon, 50% Porto.
- It's the same, that.
- No.
If it were the same,
they would have the same name.
Eh yes.
They are not smart,
these French.
Thank you so much. It's very nice
to have passed so quickly.
- Congratulations to the bride and groom.
- I wouldn't miss it, Mr. Souvage.
Savage.
So say,
your car is not bad,
but when you change,
come see me.
- I have something nice.
- Well why not.
- You come?
- Yes.
I'm lying
as they say at home.
I thought he would never leave,
your cousin.
He's not my cousin.
Fortunately
that he was in a hurry to leave!
The Portuguese marriage,
him, he doesn't bother you.
But don't take it all seriously, darling.
I'm just telling you
that when two people
from different backgrounds get married...
often, it's complicated.
- So.
Should we get married in the same environment?
And what do you do with love?
Love, love, thats the big word!
You will see in 15 years,
you will think otherwise.
You don't understand.
We're going to get married no matter what.
If you don't get along, too bad.
Charming. What a great evening.
We'll talk about it again, if you want.
I am English!
- I am English!
- What are you talking about?
I'm sorry,
there were more pistachios,
so I opened the envelope.
I am 60% English.
- That is the class.
- THANKS. Really, thank you.
I'm not saying this for you,
you take it all wrong.
- It's not possible.
- Whose fault is it?
Thats crazy!
My grandmother abandoned my mother
at birth.
I could be anything.
Do not say stupid things,
you are English.
But I'm not totally surprised.
- For what?
- I always felt something.
A difference.
When I watched English films,
I didn't understand and at the same time,
I understood.
Am I not very clear?
You've never watched films in original language.
I do not speak English,
but I can understand it.
- Hm hmm.
- You know what I mean?
No.
Hmm. No, but yes, I see.
It feels weird to me.
I feel like I'm the same,
and at the same time,
to be someone else.
That's great, darling. Tremendous!
It would be perfect if Nicole's husband
was not German.
Don't try to ruin this good time.
I don't want to spoil anything at all.
The Germans and the English
are not best friends.
- Ah good?
- I do not see the link.
But finally, during the war?
The Germans bombed London!
Among others!
Isn't that right, Gerhardt?
Finally, darling, you know me.
I would never have bombed London.
- I know, you're a nice guy.
- Yes.
On the other hand,
the English did not miss Germany.
- Ah good?
- Oh well...
80% of German cities
were destroyed.
They razed Dresden,
pulverized the Ruhr
without asking any questions.
Oh dear, darling, I'm sorry.
- I did not know.
- Me neither.
Eh yes.
I'm sorry we bombarded you.
Don't apologize, darling,
you have nothing to do with it.
Darling!
It might be nice,
their family reunions.
One thing that brings us together,
the Germans and the English,
that's what we hate
French frogs.
Enough of the dubious jokes.
Nicole, I am very happy for you.
If you can reunite with your family,
it's amazing.
THANKS.
Say, mom, did you see?
They found your cousins.
- Ah good?
- There are beautiful people.
What do you mean there are beautiful people?
Let me see? So, wait.
SO...
Relationship
with William Mountbatten,
"Windsor,
- "Duke of Cambridge"...
- Oh there...
"Earl of Strathearn,
Baron Carrickfergus.
Well, that's actually a lot of people!
It's just one person.
Show me.
I don't know,
I don't speak English well yet.
So "Henry Mountbatten Windsor,
"Duke of Sussex, Earl of Dumbarton.
"Lady Amelia Windsor,
"Duchess of Kent"...
You are part
of the British nobility.
It makes no sense.
It's scientific.
It's nonsense anyway.
You are a princess!
And Catherine is Portuguese.
Yes, and Gerhardt is German.
Uh... well...
- Are you recovering?
- The Portuguese girl, she annoys you!
Well, Nicole and Grard,
it's not to chase you away,
but it's getting late.
- Oh yes, excuse me.
- Sorry, Nicole, I'll take you home.
Honey, let's go.
I don't move.
You heard Frdric, let's go.
Well yes, we have to go,
now, Gerhardt.
No, I'm not moving from here.
- What?
- My wife has good manners.
She is English.
Me, I'm not leaving
before he opened it.
- There's no need to add more.
- Nein!
I'm not moving.
So listen to me carefully, Gerhardt.
Eh?
My family has already kicked out
the Germans in 44,
so tonight,
I'm ready to do it again!
Go ahead, frog.
- Honey, let's go now.
- No.
Not until he opened the envelope.
There is no reason.
Don't insist, I won't open,
it's ridiculous.
You said it was good.
- I changed my mind.
- In any case,
there are family secrets everywhere.
Why not at the Bouillon-Sauvage?
Bouvier-Sauvage, eh?
I will answer you
very quietly.
It is the prerogative of large families.
We have been here for a thousand years.
We are scrutinized, observed.
Books are written about us.
You understand
that we have no family secrets.
If there is no doubt,
opens the envelope.
This is very disappointing, as a reflection.
You disappoint me a lot.
- That gives us something in common.
- We had a lovely day,
but we're going to bed,
my wife is very tired.
Is it true that you are tired?
Open the fucking envelope
or I do.
Oh.
What is wrong with you?
Get off your ass.
Well okay. All right.
If it helps us sleep...
But I warn you,
you will be disappointed.
Frdric Bouvier-Sauvage...
And that's the job.
85% French. I told you.
It's true, he said it.
Who is it, who is it
the Frenchman, now?
Well, it's Fredo!
So. Frdric Bouvier-Sauvage.
Delighted.
There you go, I'm French.
My parents, my grandparents
and my great-grandparents too.
I don't like Germans.
Oh yes! And one, and two and three zeros!
And one, and two and three zeros!
Damn it's good to be French.
Fortunately I am raising the level.
Oh!
No I did not say that.
I wasn't thinking about you at all.
It's awkward. Really.
I am absolutely sorry.
And the 15%, there?
Pardon?
What does the remaining 15% mean?
We don't care about the remaining 15%.
I'm French, period.
We are all French.
- Yes exactly.
- No, we're not all.
Someone hesitates, eh, Gerhardt?
Mr. 50-50?
He likes sauerkraut so much
than Burgundy.
Very funny. The 15%?
- You Germans are stubborn.
- The 15%?
But we don't care,
I didn't even look!
Well, I'll do it. SO...
Yes, 85% French.
- I didn't lie to you.
- And...
And?
-Cherokee...
- What?
- At 15%.
- Pardon?
- Isn't that a car model?
- A little overrated.
It is a tribe of American Indians.
Visibly,
you have Indian origins.
Oooh ooh!
What is this bullshit?
No, but that's nonsense.
It's wrong!
I don't see what's funny.
A Wild Cattle Dog with feathers
riding, it's funny.
Ah but what happiness!
Honey, not you, anyway!
You're Indian, darling!
You heard? Indian!
Ah but fortunately
that I am here to raise
family level!
These tests are a huge scam.
It's to make money!
Well of course! Yeah.
A little Indian in the family,
it's cute.
A Wild Cattle Dog
can't be an Indian!
- This is a historical misinterpretation!
- Okay, come on.
We move on, we've had enough laughs.
Please.
You are right. Finally some common sense.
- Shall I pour you a last drink?
- Gladly.
Come on.
- THANKS.
- Cheers.
To bring down
a little pressure, I suggest...
let's smoke a peace pipe!
- Yes, okay, very funny!
Excuse me, Frdric.
Oh no, it's not Frdric,
Its Silver Coyote!
You're starting to piss me off
with your Indian stories!
Look!
This is the story of the Bouvier-Sauvage!
A thousand pages!
And not a single Indian!
We had dukes,
counts, ministers,
governors and even a bishop!
And buffalo hunters!
Go ahead, check it out.
Here is the family tree
of the Bouvier-Sauvage family.
Here, look,
there's not a single Indian in there.
Oh yes! There's a branch missing there.
One of your ancestors must have cut it
to make a bow!
- Oh yes okay.
I don't care, that's it.
I'm getting a kick out of it.
You want me to be Indian?
My pleasure.
I can not see
what this will change in my life.
For me, 20% Portuguese,
it changes everything.
I tell you it doesn't change anything.
Now I'm talking to the plumber.
It is true that...
It doesn't change anything, it doesn't change anything...
It changes a few things
unimportant, of course.
Which things?
No, but trifles.
Trifles of what?
No, but spit out your Valda,
Boris Becker!
Frdric, stop!
I'm starting to get used to it.
No, I'm talking about marriage.
We send announcements or...
Or smoke signals?
- There is no marriage. There never will be.
We never wanted it.
A Bouvier-Sauvage does not marry
the son of a mechanic
and a stay-at-home mother.
You need to get this into your head!
Verstanden, Gerhardt?
Did you hear?
There are people ready to invade Belgium,
but to understand something childish,
there's no one left!
Stop!
You're hateful to them.
I want you to apologize.
No.
Message received, we will get married without you.
Alice...
There are always problems at a wedding.
There will be one less.
I agree on one point with you,
Pocahontas:
there will be no wedding!
My son is descended from the royal family
from England.
There's no question he'll marry
the daughter of a cod eater
and a Redskin!
To a big family,
big responsibilities!
That's from me!
It suits my family better.
It's what,
the responsibility of a mechanic?
This is to check the tire pressure
of its customers?
I confused your wife with
the good Portuguese girl, we know why!
The Martins, a big family?
But I think I'm dreaming!
Stop making movies!
We know your film.
It's "An Indian in the Vineyard"!
Peugeot seller!
It's not an insult!
Yes, for me, yes!
Take that away!
No way!
He's going to take one!
When you want to!
I did 10 years of French boxing!
I am the king of slippers!
Come when you want!
I'm sorry, Nicole!
Listen. Thank you for almost everything.
Come on, that's it!
You coward!
Return to your reserve, Geronimo!
Nobody treats
a Wild Bouvier like that!
- Stop! That's enough!
- Simply Wild!
Ah ah ah! I choke! Excellent!
The bitch almost burst the door!
No, but you wouldn't have held me back,
I would have spread it out.
Oh dear...
Damn, what a big idiot!
I can't take anymore of him.
Do not worry,
my father was not better.
At the same time, Cherokee and Portuguese,
it will bring them back down.
- Hmm.
- What a slap!
You surprise me.
It's like that,
there will be fewer of us at the wedding.
So much the better, we'll invite more friends.
I love you, Alice Bouvier-Sauvage.
- Savage!
- Savage.
Alice Bouvier-Souvage.
That's right!
It makes no sense!
No, but Cherokee!
Why not Turkish?
It's ridiculous!
Ah!
For me, it doesn't change anything
that you are Cherokee.
I love you the same.
Very funny.
Is this Portuguese humor?
It's a huge scam.
What do you think about it?
Eh?
You don't answer?
It's nice.
Well, good night
my princess.
- Eh?
- It means "good night" in English.
Oh thank you.
I don't know how to say it in German,
but thanks anyway.
In French, it suits me very well too.
Hello dad.
Slept well?
In your opinion?
Sorry, but it's your fault too.
You will explain to me, I no longer follow you.
Since I was little,
you tell me your family stories.
We were knights,
dukes, alchemists,
lords, resistance fighters, in France
since the 12th century.
How do you imagine you're Cherokee?
No, I'm not Cherokee.
Did he sleep well, Bison Fut?
There you go, there you go, look.
Your mother unscrews.
She is turning hammer.
No, but I swear...
No, dad, it's not possible,
you're not german?
Yes it is.
I can't be German,
I sell Peugeots!
Even you bought me one.
I had no choice.
We also make good cars.
It's what?
My secret garden.
Oh no...
It's not true...
Your mother and I
when we met,
we decided not to say it.
You know, the Germans and the French
haven't always been friends.
I know that.
It's beautiful, huh?
- It's beautiful, it's... a lot, above all.
- Look at.
- It's what?
- Official jersey
Germany 82.
Dedicated by Rummennigge.
Well I don't care.
You know, it was hard for me too.
When we looked
France / Germany together.
- I was in pain, it was horrible.
- You weren't for Germany?
If.
Oh...
World Cup 82, Seville,
were you for France?
- We even cried together.
- Yes I know.
For me, it was tears of joy.
Oh no, don't tell me that, Dad.
Battiston being attacked
by Schumacher?
For me, there's no fault.
Dad!
Oh no, Dad, please.
Come on...
Come on...
Do not complain.
Now that you are Franco-German,
you won six World Cups.
Yeah.
I don't know,
but it's still a little too early.
Oh fuck...
Oh shit.
This time, have you said everything?
Almost.
Eh?
Your real name...
It's Gerhardt.
Oh...
There is nothing?
Not a single Indian?
I don't see any Indians.
You have
a very beautiful family tree.
Everything is consistent.
I knew it. Bouvier-Sauvage
with feathers, it's surreal.
So the test is wrong?
Unfortunately no,
these tests are reliable.
Wait, I don't understand anymore.
My family tree,
is it true or is it false?
Are you the expert?
Yes it's me. Listen.
In every tree,
there is a rotten branch.
Pardon?
There is one thing against which
genealogy can do nothing.
But what is it?
Adultery.
The adult...
Ah, okay, you tell me
that my ancestors are prostitutes
who slept with Indians?
- That's not what I said.
- Yes, that's exactly it.
Your father slept
with a cleaning lady
to be stupid as a broom?
Oh no!
But there, there, there.
There, a moment ago...
I was told to go see a specialist.
This is the result!
A loser!
Grandmother,
tell me this isn't true...
Send me a sign.
Da Silva?
Dos Santos?
Oliveira!
Ferreira?
Stop.
- I didn't meet anyone.
- So much the better.
- I avoid my parents.
- It's the same with me.
Dad is almost depressed
and mom thinks she's Lady Di.
- Will they be okay?
- I hope.
What?
Oh!
Oh!
She's a squaw...
She's a squaw...
The Duchess and Charles?
They crossed the Atlantic.
You are the cousin
by Meghan Markle?
We must believe.
Oh! Oh no, but thats crazy!
- You're a star, actually?
- No Still not.
Oh well yes!
I was already doing my cousin's hair
by Pascal Obispo, but there...
- This is another level.
- Yes.
Ah but there you go!
That would be it.
- It looks nice.
- Hm hmm.
- It looks nice.
- Hm hmm.
But I'm not sure.
Lady Di and the royal family,
It wasn't true love.
I don't want to make a mistake.
Barely arrived, already out...
No, I think that would suit me well.
Oh yes.
- That would suit me, right?
- Oh yes.
- Do I have enough hair to do that?
- Oh yes.
How much do I owe you?
- It's on the house.
- Oh...
- How nice.
- Oh no, it's normal.
If you see the Windsors,
tell them that with us,
it's free for the royal family.
Even redheads.
You'll see,
I'm going to screw them all up.
Frederick? Frederick?
Frederick?
What are you doing?
Are you going crazy or what?
- I am Indian.
- What?
Look at.
I found that.
- I am Indian.
- But what is it?
That's Buffalo Bill and his gang.
Visiting France in 1905.
And that,
she's my great-grandmother,
Cassandre De Jenzac.
- Zoom.
Zoom!
Oh yes.
- I saw.
- She's my great-grandmother,
the rotten branch.
- Aren't you doing it a little too much?
No, but my whole family
is based on a lie.
Lie! Lie!
- Lie!
- Frdric, you are hysterical.
No, but a little fire dance,
Its fitting, right?
And There you go.
New haircut?
Yes, I wanted to change my mind.
Tea?
Are you drinking tea now?
Oh sure,
I always drank a little of it.
Tea.
Hello dear.
Good morning.
- Hello dad.
- But...
Do you notice anything?
- Well no, no, why?
- Oh...
Your father...
- Do you want some tea, darling?
- A little bit.
Not a lot.
So are you okay, son?
No, it's average.
Alice no longer speaks to her parents.
They're still mad at us.
They went from the Venice carnival
to The Cardboard Suitcase.
Ah! Hello fall!
- Ah, that's funny.
- Hmm.
Deep down, you know,
It's not that bad anymore.
Because these tests still have
changed a lot of things.
I haven't seen anything change, except
your hairspray and your little finger in the air.
The hair! I hadn't noticed!
Oh, but it's great!
It's beautiful, huh?
Oh, great, darling!
You know, if I'm part
of the British royal family,
you too are part of it.
Stop saying that, it's ridiculous.
You find this ridiculous,
but do you think
that Prince William
could have married a Portuguese woman?
Prince Harry,
because he does anything.
You too have become a specialist
of the royal family?
No,
I am interested in my in-laws.
Harry is not the subject.
Him, as soon as I meet him,
I'll have to talk to him.
Stopped,
you are not the queen of England.
You're still a housewife
who married a mechanic.
Dealer!
Not a mechanic, that has nothing to do with it.
Hm! My God,
but we forgot the milk.
Oh well yes. Milk, milk.
Enuffe?
What?
Enuffe?
Enough...
Good morning.
Good morning.
The cat is in the kitchen.
The cat is in the kitchen.
The cat is in the kitchen.
- Are you doing well?
- Are you doing well?
- Good morning.
- Good morning.
Hello Sir.
- I can help you?
- Uh...
Come on, open, open.
- Are you okay, Frdric?
- You haven't eaten anything.
- I'm not hungry.
Did you take your pills?
- Play me my movie.
- Show your pills?
- They are there.
- You have to take them.
Yes, what is it for?
- It serves.
- Put on the film.
- There's no sound.
- It's coming.
I do not hear anything.
Hold on!
- So.
Rest, my darling.
I'm coming back, I have an errand to run.
See you later.
- Take your pills!
- Yes, yes, my pills.
Oh...
There it is, the stamp.
Good morning.
I'm sorry.
Here, it's for you.
Oh thank you!
It will remind you of the country,
even if you don't know him.
This is my next trip,
whether Frdric agrees or not.
Ah, these French...
Who do you tell it to!
Sorry.
Hello?
Yes it's me.
My husband is at home, sleeping.
What?
I'm coming very soon.
There is a problem with Frdric.
Your Porto!
- Thank you, Maria. Sorry.
- See you soon.
- What happened?
- Ah, ma'am.
- Good morning.
- Good morning.
Chief Warrant Officer Pitou, Jean-Michel.
Hmm.
It's still unclear.
Obviously your husband has arrived
in a strange state.
Hm?
He insulted the manager
"Buffalo Steak"
saying to him
that he had massacred Indians.
Oh...
And Kevin Costner...
Then he took his car
and he rushed
in the Buffalo Bill statue.
Oh dear...
All you can eat fries day.
It hurts her.
I'm sorry.
My husband just had
painful news about his family.
Come on?
He is undergoing medical treatment
very heavy.
Oh yes, it was even very, very heavy.
So. Where is he?
- In the ambulance.
- Oh.
Samu
did not give sedatives.
Since he was
completely in the fog.
He should be better in an hour.
We must save bison.
- Save the bison!
- Yes.
Tatanka!
- Tatanka!
- Frederick.
Allow two hours instead.
Who is he?
Chief Warrant Officer Pitou Jean-Michel.
Jean-Michel Bison.
- Pitou.
- Bison.
Pitou.
Pfff, it tires me.
- He tires me out.
- Yes.
So that's a class E,
a family sedan.
Yes.
The space is impressive.
But what are you doing there?
I adore. It smells like my father's house.
It smells like Germany. Feel!
It smells of quality. You feel?
He speaks German.
Hey! And There you go!
My 50% German cracked.
Mercedes.
So, my princess?
How do you find your carriage?
Great!
Eh?
Great!
Great?
Hmm.
- Great.
- So, now, obviously...
I would have preferred a Rolls.
Next time, an Aston "Martin".
You are funny!
So how is he doing?
He's shot.
He spoke to me, I didn't understand anything.
Ah good?
Is your mother not too worried?
- My mother is fed up, especially.
- Oh dear.
And you? Your parents?
Oh, it's better. Much better.
Mr. and Mrs. Martin, welcome.
Thank you for receiving us,
Mr. Ambassador.
No no,
I am just a simple advisor.
The ambassador is busy
to more important tasks.
You are welcome.
It is not the ambassador.
What are you doing?
I throw them away.
But finally,
They are in perfect condition!
Moccasins are Indian. I throw.
Are tassel moccasins Indian?
Moccasins are Indian.
The tassels are French.
Oh, but there, no, but there...
And the cat? Should I throw it away too?
- What are you talking about?
- I don't know.
I took a DNA test.
He is not Angora, he is Tunisian.
Shall we keep it anyway?
Very funny.
I learn that I am not French,
I'm touched.
You, arent you French?
Apparently not.
You? But look at you, Frdric.
Open your eyes, you're never happy.
You don't like anyone.
- Please.
- It's true.
You don't like Italians.
They are too liars.
- You don't like the Spanish.
- Too proud.
Irritants.
You love by the Portuguese.
I try so hard for you,
Dear.
Me, when I see you,
I see a real Frenchman.
The very archetype of the Frenchman
sitting on his certainties
and who loves no one but wine,
cheese
and hunting.
Before, you had a feather in your ass.
You have it on your head.
It's only you who sees a difference.
Mrs. Martin.
I have the honor to confirm to you
that you are...
the back-back-back
back-back-back-back
back-back-back-back
great-grandcousin
of the Queen of England Elizabeth.
Oh! Oh thank you!
Thank you so much.
"Fuck you. Fank you very much."
Hmm.
Your direct relative,
it's Philippe de Cognac.
the illegitimate son
by Richard the Lionheart.
Oh, Lionheart. It was noted.
Like cheese.
I prefer the Caprice of the Gods.
He only had a small fortune.
Quickly squandered.
Reason why
there are no more titles
or related domain
to your branch of the family.
What did he say?
Is there no Lady Nicole?
Unfortunately no.
And no Sir Grard either?
Neither.
However, you have the right
to this authentic certificate
which proves your distant relationship
with the British family.
I allowed myself
to put you
some souvenir gifts.
My darling...
we have to go.
So.
- Will you greet the Court on my behalf?
- It will be done.
- Mr. Martin?
No, I'm German.
Royal family of Prussia.
No, working-class family from Munich.
It's fado, it's Portuguese.
Yes I know.
How do you dance fado?
I don't know.
- How do you say "big idiot" in Cherokee?
- I don't know either.
I gave you a hard time, I'm a loser.
Oh yes.
- And?
- And uh...
And a selfish one.
Yes.
- And...
- Eh?
- And one...
- And what else? A...
- And a fool!
- So. So. And a fool.
Did you hurt your wife
and you were odious.
Hmm.
I beg your pardon.
My attitude is unforgivable.
I'm an idiot, but I'm getting better.
- We'll see.
- Oh yes.
- I'll open a good bottle for us.
- I'm taking care of it.
- Oh no, it's up to the man to open.
- Hey!
- Or to the woman. So.
- So.
That's what I was going to say.
Get us a really good bottle.
Yes.
- Oh!
- Oh!
- So we stay in the mood?
- Absolutely.
How do you say "Porto" in Portuguese?
Port.
Porto, there you go, very good.
- Yours.
- Tchin.
Hm!
You like?
Ah but I love it!
How do you find that?
Tasty.
- Tasty?
- Oh yes.
And?
And... And...
- And even delicious.
- Delicious?
- And?
- And...
Well, it's... It's...
I have never been a fan of cooked wines.
But this is delicious.
Ugh. Silver Coyote.
Guten tag.
-Gerhardt.
- Ah!
Schne wagen!
Wunderbar!
Mom?
Was she waiting for us?
She said:
Come to an aperitif with Franois.
I couldn't make it up.
Oh?
Surprise!
What are you doing here?
We were kindly invited
to have a drink with friends.
And your friends are delighted to see you.
It's better?
It's okay, my darling.
I apologized to your mother
and Nicole and Grard.
There's only you left.
- Oh.
- Good, Frdric.
- A toast?
- A toast to friendship.
And as we all come together
and reconciled, we said to each other
that we could drink
at your wedding.
- At your wedding!
- At your wedding!
It's very nice,
but there is no more marriage.
How?
What?
You can't do this to us!
It's all our fault.
When I learned that I was German,
I reacted badly.
I thought I was a noblewoman.
I invented a life for myself.
Pardon.
- I am the only one responsible.
- Yes.
- I was a snob.
- Yes.
- Ill-mannered and stupid.
- It's true.
It is not false.
Thank you for your support.
I do not blame you.
Thanks to the test,
I was looking for my origins
and it opened my heart and mind.
Ah!
We have to tell you the truth.
There will be no wedding because...
I wish I could go back
in the wedding dress.
Oh, beautiful!
That's great, my darling.
No, but thats great!
Congratulations!
One more little Wild Bouvier,
That's two at once!
No, no, don't tell me that?
- Not two at once?
- Eh?
Ah but no, don't worry,
I'm not pregnant.
- It is with great pleasure
that I present to you
the latest addition to the castle,
the work of my wife Catherine,
the first Porto
produced entirely in Aquitaine.
The Bouvier-Souvage!
Well done!
You don't like Port.
No way.
Your mother thinks I love it, don't say anything.
Cheers!
- Cheers.
- You'll see.
Taste, it is typical of cooked wine.
Eh?
There you go, darling.
Hmm. So.
The women enter the gallery
with you and you deserve it.
Thank you dad.
- I'm very proud.
- When's mom's?
- Oh.
- Eh? Yes, so that...
- She should become friendly.
Thank you, thank you very much.
There's the heir.
THANKS. Oh, I'm good?
See you at the cocktail party,
we can discuss.
Hop. THANKS. Thank you so much.
How are you?
- I put on my lucky charm.
- I saw it, Dad.
Next time, avoid white.
I raise my glass
to my wonderful grandson,
who will take over from me
at the head of our vineyards.
It's the most beautiful job in the world.
I give the floor to Grard
who has a few words to say to you.
- Thanks thanks thanks.
They have matured, our men.
- It was time.
- Yeah.
Me, too, I... Thank you, thank you.
I wanted to say
that I was very happy to welcome
this beautiful grandson
in the Martin family.
No doubt he will follow in the footsteps
of his grandfather,
by becoming a dealer,
the most beautiful profession.
Who knows?
Welcome to you, Julien...
William...
Joao...
Hans...
Martin!
You are starting out in life
with many advantages,
because you are Franco-German-Portuguese...
britannico...
Cherokee.
Cherokee...
He is the one we should applaud.
No, but Grard
is teasing, I'm not Cherokee,
I'm American.
- To be precise.
- No no no no!
- It's Cherokee. Cherokee.
- No.
- Okay, but anyway...
They are American Indians.
I'm American.
Hmm... American.
So, excuse me, but American...
Someone needs to explain it to me.
The Indians became cowboys.
Explain to me how.
I drank a little, but still.
- We don't agree.
- If.
We agree
that we don't agree on anything.
- It is not false.
- But we raise our glass
to our grandson.
A Cherokee
who will become a concessionaire.
I raise my glass
to my American grandson
who will inherit the Chteau de Janzac
and its vines.
Well done!
Come on.
How are you?
This is the lab.
There is a problem with the tests.
- Whose tests?
- Dad's.
- What, isn't he Cherokee?
- Yes, at 15%.
It's the other 85% that's the problem.
Why, what is he?
Oh fuck.
Yeah.
Prost!
Oh! Health!
Hiventy by TransPerfect