Cold Turkey (2013) Movie Script

So how was France?
What was that play
about the apartment?
Right, Rent... good play.
Yes! France was lovely.
So how often do your all to
the Secretary of Defense?
Oh, about once a month.
I like to stay in touch
with all my former students.
- Levi!
Thank you for
a very nice meal,
may I please be excused?
Thanks for asking so nicely,
Levi, yes of course.
Come on, Cy, let's go.
Hey hey hey, sweetie,
are you done?
Are you sure?
Okay, can you take
your plates in, please?
No, it's okay,
we'll take them in later.
No no no, they do it at home.
To the fort!
Uh... vino?
No thanks.
I think that's a healthy
Thank you.
So how's your book, Poppy?
Oh... interesting.
It's about the navy, right?
Do you want
his turkey burger?
Oh no no no,
you can have it.
No, you.
No, you, I...
No really, I'm full.
Yeah, me too.
Let's split it.
So, who's that for?
Jacob... eventually.
A hat?
Where are they sleeping,
I made up the office
for them.
Poppy's little book room?
Is that a problem?
I don't know, is that okay
with you, Poppy?
Deborah thought it'd be best.
Hm... I guess it is.
I don't know, doesn't it seem
to you like it's a little...
- No?
You don't think?
- No.
You don't think?
- No, I don't.
I just thought that
if it were me,
and I were coming home for
the first time in 15 years
I would want...
You know what, Linds?
I'm doing the best I can,
Yeah, I know.
- Okay.
I just wanna have a nice
with Nina...
We all do.
We're gonna have a great
Thanksgiving with Nina.
Mm hmm.
For sure.
You seem nervous.
What's wrong?
Uh, yeah, I'm nervous.
Nina's crazy.
You okay?
About us?
Yeah, I'm better.
Oh... oh, hi.
Hi CB.
I- I'm sorry, I thought
you were somebody else.
Yes, I'll hold for the
Good morning, Mr. Secretary.
Yes, I saw the Kurds
were acting up again.
You know Nina
hates your mom, right?
So? You hate my mom.
That's not true.
Yes it's true.
No, it's not, honestly,
I love Deborah.
I do... it's just...
you know... Poppy
left my mom to be with her.
And he slept with like,
15 students before that.
I know, it's pretty pimp,
Oh god, can we walk? Sorry.
Hey Mom.
How was the run?
It was good.
I found a weird text message
on your cellphone.
Why were you looking
at my phone again?
Oh, I didn't mean to.
I was just...
It was- it was
just sitting there...
How do you know
my password?
Well you haven't changed it
since you were 14,
and I used to have to
remind you what it was.
Why did you type in
my password?
If there is anything
you want to tell me,
please, honey, seriously,
I love you, it's fine...
Because, you know, you're not
the one who has to pay.
Yeah, I know, Mom.
- Oh, God.
Good run?
Jacob whooped me.
You did fine.
Oh, God, for an old lady.
Has anyone seen Poppy?
I think he's in
the book room, why?
No reason.
Is it another money thing?
Have you talked
to your father about it?
Alright, here, alright.
Hut! Go!
Alright. 3rd and 10.
Here we go! Go!
Ah! Here, here we go.
Get him.
Oh no! Oh oh no!
Oh no, help!
Don't you do that!
Stop doing that.
- Whoa!
Here it comes!
Touchdown! Nice!
Need some ice.
Got a soldier down.
Got it? OVer here,
here we go.
It's okay. Wanna sit up?
- What happened?
Oh, aw, it's okay,
it's just a little one.
Ah. Alright.
- Hold it on.
It's just a little booboo.
- You'll be alright.
Here, medicine.
- Whoa!
Let me see, sweetie,
are you okay?
How was yoga, Linds?
It was fine.
Ice cream, come on.
Can we eat?
Ask Poppy.
Well, what time is it?
They'll be here, Lindsay.
Did she call?
- She never calls.
She didn't call!
- Lindsay!
They'll be here.
- Okay.
Levi, did you say sorry?
Jim, do we have her number?
Yes, of course.
And did we call her?
Cypress, you want me to read
you a story? A book?
Cypress, do you wanna play
Texas Hold'em?
Why don't we all play
Chinese Checkers?
Poppy doesn't like
Chinese Checkers.
Why not?
I fucking rule
at Chinese Checkers.
You know what?
Do you want a time out?
Or do you want to have dinner
with your aunt Nina?
No, she's not here yet.
I think we should eat
right now.
- Well, hold on.
And they left Las Vegas
at 12:30.
How do you know that?
Nina texted me.
I made that trip in two
and a half hours once.
Maybe they stopped
to go shopping.
Nina can't afford
to go shopping.
Lindsay, what is wrong
with you?
Okay, okay.
- Well, she can't, it's true.
Let's say they left Vegas
at 1 o'clock.
They should have been here
by 7 at the latest.
What time is it now?
It is now 9:16.
We have no way
of getting in touch with her,
for whatever reason.
It's just...
If we...
She might...
Just make a decision, Jim.
Okay, let's eat.
Thank you!
Let's do this.
They bring the dog?
Nina's here!
That thing doesn't
actually work, Levi.
Shut up, nerd!
Hey! Whoa!
Oh my God, you guys!
Glad to meet you.
Hey, nice to meet you, pal.
I need food.
- Levi.
...pleasure. I heard
about you.
Good to see you.
- Hi, honey.
I forgot how logical
your house was.
Thank you.
- Thanks of having us.
It's like a jewish girl's
version of subtle.
Hey, bro.
- Hank, great to meet you.
Hey there, partner.
Great, great, great.
- Hey, partner.
Oh, hey.
- Hey.
Jacob. Great to meet you.
- Great to meet you.
- How you doin'?
Ah, the sister.
Alright. I've heard so much
about you.
All good things.
Hey there, Professor Turner,
It's great to meet you,
I'm Hank.
What do you drink?
That's totally
your little sweet spot!
Oh that's so
your little sweet spot!
Can't breathe!
Can't breathe!
- Breathe!
Okay, boys!
Oh my goodness, you boys!
So, Poppy, the Utley's are
coming over tomorrow night?
That means hopefully
in Arabic.
Actually, it means
"God willing".
They're still over
in Edgemont, right
Yep! Right down the street.
God! Elizabeth Utley
was, like, the most beautiful
woman in the world.
Still is.
So, uh...
Professor Turner, sir,
you, uh...
still teach at Stanford?
Uh... in name only,
at this point, Hank.
Yeah, Poppy got
kinda burned
in the whole Iraq deal.
That had nothing to do with it.
Sure it did.
Not every international
studies hotshot
left his department to go work
on the Iraqi sewage system.
Army... not sewage system,
Yeah, most of them
just wrote op-eds.
That's why most of them
still have jobs...
that pay money.
You still get up to Palo Alto
about once a week, though,
right Poppy?
Yeah, they let him keep
his seminar.
They let you keep
your bachelor pad, too?
Hah, good question.
I still have the apartment,
Any cutie post-docs
this year?
Just asking.
I didn't get burned
in anything.
So uh... Professor Turner,
sir... you...
you ever actually been
to Iraq?
Well... the New York Times
always said...
I know what the New York
Times always said...
That you personally disbanded
the Iraqi army.
Get outta town,
that was you?
Hey, baby, didn't we see that
on the TV?
We made a lot of mistakes,
but that was not one of 'em.
Put simply, there never was
an Iraqi army to disband.
No no no,
I know your argument,
I read your book.
The Kurds and the Shi'a would
never have stood
for a Sunni majority
in the army
and there were way too many
Sunni officers to begin with,
and anyway, the army
disbanded itself once...
Could we please
talk about something else?
No, let's talk about this.
Can't keep up, Linds?
Don't want to, Nin.
I mean, yeah, we can talk
about something else.
Uh... how's yoga?
Cuz you look great.
Thanks, you too.
Yoga's good. It's fine,
you know.
Had a couple of
big name clients recently
which is nice...
and some referrals, and...
Oh yeah? Who?
Who are
the big name clients?
Oh, you know, just...
stupid Laguna people.
Tell me!
Yeah, who?
Chris O'Donnell?
Who's that?
Seriously, you don't know who
Chris O'Donnell is?
Alright, maybe we should just
change the subject,
I- I don't know anyone
We don't have a TV, so...
That's weird, Hank just said
you did.
Hank, don't you and Nina have
a TV?
Don't answer that.
- Uh...
Anyone want more guac?
The problem with Abu Ghraib
was they weren't wearing
their goddamn uniforms.
Alright, now he's drunk.
Thank you for
a very nice meal,
may I please be excused?
Poppy, tell us about the time
you met Eleanor Roosevelt.
Oh, that was wonderful.
I must have been
eight or nine
when she was giving a speech
in Ann Arbor.
- Hmm.
Come look at our pillow fort,
come on!
Alright, I'm coming,
I'm coming.
Oh my goodness,
look at this thing.
You guys did this
all yourself?
It's beautiful,
I love this part.
Oh, ho ho! No!
I can't believe it!
It's destroyed!
Tell you what,
build it back up again...
Build it back up again,
we'll do it all over, alright?
Alright. I'll see you guys
in a minute.
Hey, ladies, how are
the dishes coming?
Good. Wanna help?
Ah, yeah, yeah,
in just a minute.
Playin' with the kids.
Feel free.
- Mm. Thank you!
Grab a chip,
on my way.
Alright, boys! Uncle Hank
is back in the house!
Look out!
Do you have any idea
how slow you eat?
It's because
you're an only child.
I'm not an only child.
How's the house
in Wyoming?
Uh oh.
Those tenants bail again?
'Cause, one more time and
Poppy cuts you off, right?
What is your problem?
But the house in Arizona's
okay, right Nin?
Yeah, the yurt
in Arcosanti's fine.
It must5 be nice
having two houses.
A yurt is not a house,
Yeah, it's like a tipi,
That's right, Jacob.
That's right.
How was the drive?
How are the markets,
little bro?
Stock markets? Aren't you
always plain' the markets?
Yeah, I like to invest,
Hmm. How's law school?
It's fun. Well... it's
pretty hard, you know?
God, it is so crazy to me
that you decided to do
exactly the same thing
that Poppy did.
Same undergrad,
now law school.
Yeah, it is a little weird.
Probably not gonna go
for that post-post-doc
though, huh?
No, probably not.
And total bummer
about Oxford.
Yeah, total.
I was a Rhodes Scholar
did you ever know that?
Yeah, I know.
Yeah, I didn't even tell them
about Poppy.
I changed my name
and everything.
That's not true.
And they flew me
out to Chicago
for this big fancy
cocktail party.
Also not true.
Don't be jealous, Lindsay.
Don't be lying, Nina.
Seriously, what happened,
bud? Huh?
Poppy said you just didn't
have the grades?
You told her that?
I never said that.
It must be really tough being
the son of such a genius.
Uh, yeah, there's good parts
and bad parts, I guess.
Yeah? What are
the bad parts?
Nina, please.
- Heyo!
Pacifico's my jam.
You didn't bring me one?
You wanted one?
I'm sorry, sweetie.
Oh, shit, hey Linsday,
did you want one too?
No, thanks.
Lindsay doesn't drink.
But thank you, Hank.
Not since high school.
Oh, Nina.
Yeah, she was a full-blown
drunk at 16.
That was kind of
Nina, that's enough.
They would find her
when they went to get
their Wall Street Journal
in the morning.
They'd have to call Poppy
and wake him.
Yeah, at least I didn't date
a fucking coke dealer
from Oakland.
Both of you, stop it.
Ali was not a coke dealer.
- Yes he was.
No he wasn't and at least I
didn't get knocked up...
Don't you dare!
Come on, come on stop.
Mr. Hank Presley...
I think I need a cigarette.
Shall we?
It is really good to see you,
It's really good to see you,
too, Nina.
I taught him that.
So, how's the house down
in Wyoming, really honey?
Ship shape.
Because Lindsay's probably
right, I should probably stop...
- Everything is fine.
I'm so happy you're here.
Me too.
Okay, that's it.
Sweetie, it's okay.
Heeeey! Nice work!
I thought you just did taiko,
No, guitar, too,
since he was four.
Oh, amazing!
You wanna play
"Michael Row your Boat?"
- Hey.
Here, give me the guitar.
Whatever for, little bro?
No, Cypress, you play.
No, it's Jacob's turn.
Jacob, I didn't know
you played guitar.
Uh... well not since I was
like 17, but, uh...
Crazy, why'd you quit?
Because Mom got upset
one time,
because Poppy liked when
Uncle Jacob played guitar.
And who told you that?
Thanks, Nina.
Okay, go ahead, Jacob.
You know what, I, uh...
- Play, play, play.
Play, play play!
Yay, Jacob!
Play play play!
Come on.
Okay okay okay.
There's a dark and a
troubled side of life
sorry, oops.
I'm sorry, that's good.
Really, it's good. Keep
There's a dark and a
troubled side of life
There's a bright and a
sunny side too
Though we'd meet here with
darkness and strife
The sunny side we always
may view
Keep on the sunny side
always on the sunny side
Keep on that sunny side
of life
It'll help you every way
it'll help you every day
Keep on that sunny side
of life
Keep on that sunny side
of life
Yeah, so, South America's
totally hot right now.
Huge S&P numbers.
It's kind of a weird
Sorry, bud. Sounds rough.
What's kind of
a weird situation?
Uh... nothing.
Whatever. Come to bed.
Yeah, just a sec.
Come on, Jacob.
Gimme a minute.
Damn it! I said no, alright?
Leave me alone!
Be cool, tough guy.
What happened to your butt,
What do you mean?
It's gone.
No, I liked your butt.
How'd you sleep?
Like shit. Poppy's book room
is a wretched hive
of scum and villainy.
That's from Star Wars.
Downward dog.
Warrior 1.
Warrior 2.
And side angle.
That's a really beautiful
pose, Nin.
You still practice?
Hell no.
Warrior 3.
Come on,
straighten those arms up.
Dude, I'm not even warm, yet.
Really? How long you been out
Like ten minutes.
That's funny, I feel great.
Shouldn't you be locking
your standing leg?
You know what?
Have fun.
A little early for that, no?
I'm so sorry, Jacob.
Uh, for what?
Well, please...
it's fine.
Well... I'd better go
walk Peanut.
W- don't you wanna
hang out?
Love you.
Love you.
Ah, Poppy.
What's wrong?
So... should we go into town?
I was thinking it might not
be a bad idea,
why with the weather,
and potentially we could get
a few things...
Poppy, I need to talk to you.
Why, what is it?
I need some money.
Of course... how much?
Oh g- oh, Poppy...
thank you so much!
You welcome.
What- what's it for?
Aah... yeah...
Uh... uh...
It's okay, Jacob.
You can tell me.
Well um...
It's uh- it's- there's...
Poppy, they threw a brick
through our window.
They keep calling me and
sending me these awful texts,
I keep lying to Missy.
Jacob, what happened?
Poppy, it was
a good investment,
I swear to God.
Vacation property
in Nicaragua,
at a great price.
We wet gonna call it
El Paradiso.
he said that the value was
definitely gonna double
after it got developed.
The- the property was 100k,
all I needed
was a downpayment,
like 20k from these loan
I could get the rest
from the bank,
the mortgage loaner bank
for like 80k.
What was the interest rate?
Well, it was like 10 percent
a year from the bank.
It was totally reasonable.
What was the interest rate
from the brick-throwing
loan sharks, Jacob?
Compound interest
at 100 percent.
What does that mean,
compound interest
at 100 percent?
I swear to god,
the value was gonna double
once it got developed,
so, I was gonna flip it
for like 200k, so...
I'd owe the bank like 75k,
which would leave me 85k.
Poppy, that's pretty good,
considering that none of it
was my own money...
Answer the question, Jacob.
One thing led to another,
and it never got developed,
so I had to unload it
for like 30k.
So now, I owe the bank, uh...
What was the deal
with the loan sharks, Jacob?
Well, like I said, uh...
it was compound interest
at 100 percent.
Well... uh...
In my particular case...
It doubled every six months,
The amount I owed them
doubled every six months.
I'm sorry.
Did you say
every six months?
When did you take
this loan out?
Um... like two years ago.
So, um... 20k doubled
like 3 times, so it's at...
Yeah, that's right. $160,000
at present.
More importantly,
if I don't pay now,
they're gonna break
both my legs
and get me kicked
out of law school.
And you still owe the bank...
$68,000, as well.
Which means you currently owe
various people...
buying undeveloped vacation
property in Nicaragua
was a sound
business investment.
I, uh...
Listen, I only need $20,000,
and they said they'd put
a hold on it,
and I can pay the rest off
after I've been at the firm
for like a year, and...
Hey, Poppy, look at
the bright side,
I don't have any student loans
because you and Mom, you...
Poppy, please.
I'll cover the rest.
Looking back...
Do you still consider it a
sound business investment?
I'll think about it.
You- you just said of course!
I know what I said.
Did my mom really hit Nina?
When Nina was a teenager.
Dd my mom really hit her?
And that's why she hasn't
been to Pasadena in so long?
Who told you that?
Nina, years ago.
Of course she did.
Nina hit her.
- Yeah.
Nina's grasp on reality can be
a little touch and go at times.
I know.
We like this.
- Whoa.
Hey look!
- What?
Hey, it' like glow in the
I was just thinking that!
- It is like glow in the dark!
Well, let's see
what we can do.
LEt's give him some buttons,
shall we?
Why don't you
help me out over here?
Yo, we're doing buttons
over here.
what about stickin'
with the dudes.
I think they can tell you
don't need any help down there.
Levi likes the ladies.
I dunno. I've heard.
So good, you guys.
So, hey, is that like...
post-hipster knitting,
or like, pre-second wave
feminist knitting?
I just sometimes like to make
things for people.
Got it.
Nice! Look at this!
- Hi, sweetie.
Good job!
- How was your run?
Has anyone seen Poppy?
Book room!
Come in.
How was your run?
Uh... good.
Can we talk?
Of course. Sit down.
Lindsay, what's wrong?
I know Nina can be very
difficult sometimes, she...
It's not Nina.
I need money.
Of course.
What for?
Is, uh, TJ doing okay?
TJ is fine.
But I mean financially.
He's great. I mean he made
partner 10 years ago,
we're great.
What do you
need money for?
Well, I can't ask TJ or it.
Uh... So, I gathered that.
you remember Dave,
from high school.
Oh, God dammit.
I know, I know. It's not
what you think, it's uh...
I can't keep paying for this
guy's drug addiction.
You really can't ask TJ for
no, I can't ask TJ for it.
I can't ask TJ for anything
right now.
We've been having...
problems, you know,
with other people, and...
with fidelity.
I got it.
Anyway, Dave is really
the one person who I just...
you know... just 'cause
he was my first...
real... boyfriend,
and we had this
really intense past, and...
he's just the one person who if
I were ever to get involved...
But you have been involved,
for years.
But TJ doesn't know that.
I'm sorry.
Look, it's our baby.
Dave's and mine.
She's... 17.
And she's shown up.
She wanted to find
her birth parents,
she's found Dave.
And... they wanna start a life
Good for them.
Yeah.. well...
She wants to go to college,
and of course Dave's promised
to pay for it and...
that means I have to find
the tuition.
Because if I don't,
he'll tell TJ,
and that really is
the end of my marriage.
This child is...
not your responsibility.
And she certainly is not
my responsibility.
But... Poppy, your dad
wasn't around.
Leave my father out of it!
I just thought...
you had a parent
that wasn't present, so...
you might...
know something about...
how it would feel if that
parent then contributed to edu...
Are you all right,
I'm fine.
Whatcha doin' in
there, Poppy?
Nothin, Nina.
Where's Lindsay,
Nina, I'm in here,
just go away!
Let's talk about this later,
You promise to think about it?
Of co- course
I'll think about it.
- Hi.
Shouldn't Poppy be carving
the turkey?
Because he's the one
in charge.
I dunno, I just do
what I'm told, kid.
Hey Deborah!
How's it lookin' TJ?
Levi, how're we lookin'?
'Bout four minutes,
five minutes,
maybe three minutes.
Okay, three minutes.
You get the napkins,
I'll get the pie.
Hmm, beautiful dog, Lizzy.
Thanks, Nina.
Yeah, Jerome.
Peanut has a friend
just like you in Arizona,
named Constance, except,
she doesn't have quite so
profound of a weight problem.
So how was your trip?
You just got back today, huh?
Yeah, I did. Raring to go,
So, Jim, you were saying,
she can't win
the general election?
I'm saying it depends.
On what?
You know on what, honey.
Actually, I don't.
That's why I'm asking Jim
to explain it to me.
Well, she's running for the
state senate in California,
so she sort of
has to walk this...
centrist line on the economy.
Which she already fucked up
royally in the second debate.
So, no, I- I- I don't think
she can win,
but I've been completely
wrong about everything,
up to this point.
I think her hair looks weird.
Me too, yeah.
I think her hair is great!
Come on, be nice.
Who's that?
Mm, um...
It's just my TA
for civil procedure.
It's Thanksgiving.
Yeah, it's just for this, um...
job interview thing.
What job interview?
It's just this thing.
Did Poppy get you
the job interview?
Can we not talk about this
right now?
So... Hank.
What do you do?
I uh...
I drive a truck.
Dinner's ready!
Dinner's ready!
Hey, can I talk to you?
We're about to eat.
I know, just for a second.
After dinner, okay?
Hey Levi...
you know the wing
is the worst part.
Yeah, really.
It tastes horrible,
no meat on it.
But I'd be glad to take it
off your hands
if you throw in
half your stuffing as well.
I dunno, Levi, sounds like
a pretty good deal to me.
Alright, I'll think about it.
Think about it, buddy.
The offer's on the table.
Well, cheers everybody!
Wait, um...
we would just like to say...
how pleased we are to have
the Utleys back at this table.
Oh and, we want to say
how happy we are
to see Nina.
Always a pleasure, dear.
You know, you are really hot,
Okay, great.
So, Missy,
Jim tells me
you're in nursing school.
Yep, I just finished
my first year.
you know, Elizabeth was
in nursing for 30 years?
Really? I had no idea.
Jacob didn't tell you?
Actually, that's how Steve
and Elizabeth met.
When we were all
in Oxford together.
I thought you all went
to Michigan together.
Jacob screwed that one up
too, huh?
Not tonight, Nina.
Deborah stop.
I went to Michigan undergrad,
Steve went to Berkeley.
We both got the Rhodes.
So when we were in Oxford
one night,
Steve had a bit too much
to drink and fell down,
and dinged his knee.
And I took him to the ER.
And there, he met a beautiful
young resident.
And here we are.
He looked awful.
And he smelled like beer
So you and Steve met
at Oxford?
Actually, a little before,
we uh...
We were fighting
over the same girl
on the boat trip over,
on the QE2.
- Yeah.
It only lasted a couple days,
then we started
seeing each other.
That's true.
But Elizabeth was actually
on the QE2 at the time.
She was headed back
to London.
I just... we never saw
each other.
- Did you see Elizabeth on the QE2, Poppy?
- No.
Uh, so Nina?
- Kitty?
Hank drives trucks,
what do you do?
Nina works the kiln
at Arcosanti.
Arcosanti? Like...
the commune in Arizona?
Actually it's an experiment
in the concept of Arcology.
I didn't know they had
those things around anymore.
Well, to be honest,
I'm sort of between...
Uh oh.
I'm moving on from that.
She got fired.
From a commune?
Alright, Poppy.
We need to talk.
- At the table?
Yeah, sure, why not?
Don't you think it'd be better
if we wait...
I need money.
Oh, Nina, please, let's not
do this here.
What happened?
The renters crapped out
I told you to get insurance.
We talked about this.
Right, and I told you
to get insurance,
didn't you get insurance?
Uh, Levi, you sure you want
that wing?
Steve. Not now.
What does that mean
crapped out?
It mens they didn't pay
their rent.
Yeah, I think I want
my wing now.
About $5000.
Jesus, Nina.
- What?
Guys, can we please just not
do this here?
Come on, I'm sorry,
I mean, I'm sorry,
but it's..
I- I- I can't help it.
I just need the money.
Yeah, Nina, seriously,
not now.
What did you just say?
I can't think why you'd want
that wing
when it's the worst part.
Well, I just- I just think
that maybe...
this is not...
No... NO!
Thank you for
a very nice meal,
may I please be excused?
You ned the money,
for your and
Dave Greenwald's daughter.
And you need the money
for your stupid Nicaraguan
investment thing.
Wait, Jacob, what?
And I need money for this.
This is what I need money for.
How do you know
about El Paradiso?
And fuckin' Dave Greenwald.
Nina, this is not the time
to talk about this.
Poppy told me.
- Nina.
- Is that such a surprise?
Nina, please.
- Poppy, you...
Are you fucking kidding me?
- Jesus Christ, Jim.
Does that piss you off,
That your husband might have
told his daughter
something important
about something?
Dave Greenwald, is that true?
You better watch your mouth.
Will not.
- Is it?
Jacob, I'm gonna go.
- No, please.
You never knew that Lindsay
smoked in high school.
Yes, I did.
She gets away
with everything.
And then we have fucking
little princess over here.
Hey, did you know that he wet
the bed 'til he was like 15?
What on Earth
is wrong with you?
Is that what those texts
were about?
Your horrible investment with
our first house money, idiot.
Don't call him an idiot.
Steve and I
really should be going.
You better tell me the truth
right now,
or I'm gonna take these kids
and I'm gonna go.
Can we please do this later?
no, now.
What are you doing, Jacob?
- TJ, please.
Okay no, hey, stay, please!
Please, everyone please stay,
What the fuck do you care?
- Nina!
You fucked up
our entire family, you slut.
No, you screwed up
your own goddamn family.
Both of you, stop it now,
No! No!
I never get invited here
because of her,
and now I finally do
get invited here,
and she's ruining everything.
What exactly have I done,
except cook your dinner
and make your bed
when you wanted.
You hit me in the face!
No I didn't!
- Yes you did!
Stop lying!
Okay... I did.
And I'm sorry, Nina.
And then you stole my dad.
- Just, Nina, stop!
And Poppy screwed
Elizabeth Utley on the QE2.
And last night!
- Yup!
Whoa, whoa whoa!
Oh my God.
Where's Missy?
She left.
Where's TJ?
Been calling him all night.
What are you still doing
TJ took the car.
- Hmm.
Where's Deborah?
In our bedroom,
she won't come out.
should we go into town?
God, I used to hate
coming down to Pasadena.
That's not true.
You hated it too, don't lie.
We had to leave Mom in
Palo Alto, take the 5 all night,
just so we could spend the
weekend in this stupid house
with Deborah
and baby princess.
Oh, God, this is so stupid.
I'm gonna try TJ again.
Sit down.
Why do you hate me
so much?
Are you actually smoking
in the house?
I don't hate you.
I guess all we ever wanted
was for you to give a shit
bout us.
I do.
Yeah, maybe now,
when it doesn't matter.
Wait, how are you not in jail
this morning?
Call the cops,
see if I care.
Wanna call the cops, Jacob?
Let's do it.
Why not?
- I dunno.
But she assaulted
your mother.
I know.
Well, that's fucked up.
- I know.
At least ask Poppy
why he cheated.
Will you stop shouting at me?
Well no, she's right, actually.
Go on, ask him.
You don't want to, huh?
Why's that?
Lindsay, please.
Did you cheat on Missy
or something?
I dunno, did you cheat on TJ
or something?
Stop, both of you, please.
I never cheated on Hank!
I'm not a cheater.
Can we talk about the money now?
No, let Jacob talk to Poppy.
I don't wanna talk to Poppy.
Why'd you do that to Mom?
I don't know, Jacob.
Whatever, who cares?
Deborah's in her room, she's
gone, we're a family again.
Now, let's talk about
the money.
Oh, that's right.
That's nice Nina.
you came home so we could be
this cozy family, right?
Let's talk about the money!
I don't even care about
the money anymore.
So what? I do.
Honestly, Jacob...
I'm sorry.
Sucks, huh, little bro?
I know I've got problems,
I know I drink too much,
I know I'm selfish sometimes,
I- I'm sorry.
Are ya?
But I've always...
I- I did the best I could.
That's not true.
Yes, it is.
I think it is kinda true.
I love you all very deeply.
And even when
I don't show it..
I try to show it.
I think you need to try
Wait, why aren't you calling
the cops this morning?
On my own daughter?
Guys, are we gonna talk about
the money or...
Oh my God!
This is so insane!
It is so insane
that you're actually gonna
get away with this!
What? Look, look, okay?
See? I'm not doing anything.
Alright? This is nothing.
That woman is weak!
Now, let's talk
about the money!
You're so crazy.
Oh, I'm sorry, my bad.
Did you wanna talk
about your mother
some more? Okay.
First Poppy cheated on her,
then he said h was sorry,
then you didn't do anything.
Now she's gone,
and we're done with that.
Can we please talk about
the money?
Now... about the money issue.
You know, I will never forget
the day you guys told me
you were getting separated.
I must have been about Levi's
age, so, what...
9? And Nina must have
been about 6?
And uh...
We were downstairs
watching TV...
which we used to do a lot of,
'cause Poppy
was never around.
And we were watching the Miss
Teen USA pageant.
And I'll never forget,
whoever the host was was like...
"And the winner is... "
and suddenly
Mom came in and...
told us we had to go upstairs,
and we wed like,
"No, no, no!"
And she was like,
"Upstairs, now. "
And so, we went upstairs and...
Mom was sitting
on one of those...
low, white...
wooden stools.
And so was Poppy.
then they just...
"We've been talking...
and we've decided Poppy's not
gonna live here anymore. "
Did she say why?
I think there'd been this...
massive fight, like two days
earlier, and...
Mom had caught Poppy with one
of his students again...
I dunno, who was that, Poppy?
I honestly don't remember.
That's nice of you.
Anyway, they tell us this...
you know, big... thing.
And me and Nina were like...
"Um... okay...
Can we go back downstairs
and watch
Miss Teen USA now?"
'Cause, you know, you had to
see it live, or whatever.
It was just so fuckin' awful.
Do you remember that, Nina?
Lindsay, what do you want
from me?
You apologized, so I guess
that's a start.
I feel like I've spent
the last 30 years apologizing.
I feel like you and I
have different definitions
of the word apologizing.
You could stand up to your
wife, for one thing.
That's not fair.
- Oh, none of it's fair.
Yeah, but it's not her fault.
She's just trying her best.
Jesus, you people and your
trying your best.
You tried your best in Iraq,
didn't you?
And how'd that work out
for you?
I don't think the Iraq
pertains to this situation here,
You don't get to say that,
I do!
I'm the one that gets to be
the recipient
of all your shitty
failed trying!
So I can use whatever analogy
I want!
Now, who are you giving
the money to?
- Who?
- Who?
There isn't any money.
I don't have any money.
I went to Iraq.
Stanford fired me.
Then they black-balled me.
Then the market crashed.
I don't have any money
for any of you.
I'm sorry.
How are we just hearing about
this now?
Because it's none of
your business.
I didn't expect to be asked
for $300,000
over Thanksgiving weekend,
Nina, darling.
Who's paying for this house,
I bought it cheap from a
friend of mine 30 years ago.
What about that trip to
France you and Deborah took?
Her mother paid for that.
Oh it's- it's okay, Jacob.
I can make a few calls,
you won't get kicked out of
law school.
They already kicked me out of
law school.
They found out about
the money weeks ago.
I got expelled.
I'm totally fucked.
I've been trying to tell you
all weekend.
I'm sorry.
What am I gonna tell TJ?
Well, this just got
See you guys
at Poppy's funeral.
Nina, don't.
- Oh, God. Let her go.
No! Get off of me.
Get off of me!
Don't call.
W- Nina, hold on!
Just let her go,
she's fucking crazy!
Nina, wait!
Whatcha doin', little bro?
I'm saving our family.
- Oh, really?
I think you should be more
worried about the whole
$228,000 in debt thing,
right about now.
No, I'm saving our family.
Jesus, have you been
practicing that
in front of the mirror?
No... yes.
Aw, Jacob...
Never lose your confidence,
little buddy.
Never lose
that insane confidence
your insane mother gave you
with her insane love.
It'll really serve you well.
Stop shitting on my mom,
That's the first thing.
Okay, you don't get to do that,
She's not your mom.
She's my mom.
Oh believe me,
I'm well aware of that.
And second thing is...
you need to be nicer.
Oh yeah?
- Yeah!
Well you need to call me more
often, you little shit.
You need to say thank you when
I send you presents
You need to take the hint
when I invite you to Arizona
like 3 times
in one phone conversation,
and not say, "Er, um,
I've got this thing,
I'm really busy. "
But instead say,
"Yes, I love you.
I'll be there tomorrow,
I just bought my plane ticket. "
You need to try harder!
I call you every Christmas.
Oh congratu-fucking-lations,
just like the rest of you cunts.
You do just enough
so that I look crazy
and so the rest of you
look sane,
and so you get to say,
"Oh, there goes crazy Nina!
There goes La Nia,
We tried, ya know?
We always try,
but I guess nothing
ever works out
with that ungrateful little
shit, I guess nothing ever...
You stabbed my mother
in the arm!
Your mother smacked me in the
face when I was 16!
Okay, well get over it!
Oh my God, you have no idea
how bad I want to hit you
right now!
Oh yeah? Well then do it.
No one else ever did,
Say you're sorry for last
- Yes!
Okay, well then just slap me
or something.
Just do something!
- No!
Yes! Come on!
- Jacob.
Do it!
Oh God.
Listen, I'm sorry, okay?
- I'm sorry.
It's just hard because Poppy
always loved you more,
you know.
That's not true.
Can I come home for Christmas, Poppy?
- What?
Poppy, can I come home
for Christmas?
Nina, you just beat up
our dad,
after you beat up his wife,
what are you thinking?
Poppy... Can I?
I'll have to ask Deborah.
You think Deborah's gonna
stay around for Christmas?
We're all screwed.
no, we're not.
I mean with the money.
We'll figure something out.
I still have a few friends
in Palo Alto.
They could potentially help...
I'm sorry, Poppy.
Nice one.
- That's my best.
Just play, just play.
That's good guac.
This is really good guac.
I don't have anything to do
Is that my guacamole?
Mm... it was just sitting there.
I... asked Nina down
for Christmas,
because I thought maybe...
As a joke, I assume.
Was this before or after
you told her
you don't have any money
to solve all her problems?
you shut the fuck up
in my house.
I guess you guys
are screwed, huh?
I mean, what are you
gonna do?
Rob a bank?
Win the lottery?
Maybe your mom
could spot us, Deb.
That seems unlikely, Hank.
Christmas should be
Deborah, wait.
I'm sorry.
Nina doesn't have to come
down for Christmas.
do you really think that's
what I'm upset about?
No, no, I know it's
the other thing too, but I...
You're unbelievable.
- Stop, Jim.
Wait, Mom!
You're really leaving?
Your father cheated on me,
and then he chose his
horrible daughter over me.
Yeah, I'm really leaving.
No you... you can't.
Yeah, I can.
Poppy, do something.
I think he already did,
No, seriously.
Saving your family can be
tough, huh, little bro?
Don't worry, happened to us.
What's wrong with you?
Answer him.
I fucked up.
I fuck up sometimes,
I'm sorry.
Wait, no, Mom,
you need to stay, okay?
Everything will be fine.
You know, really, I mean...
Everyone can be nice
to everyone.
Jacob, you don't even
live here anymore.
You're not a child. Why does
this matter to you?
'Cause you're my mom!
So you can't leave!
This is- we need to figure
thous out, okay?
Everyone can behave,
everyone can get along,
we'll be fine!
Life doesn't work that way,
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry too, Deborah.
Well saying you're sorry
doesn't make it okay.
Well sometimes it does,
I mean...
it's kind of like saying
at least you tried.
You know, you make
really good guacamole.
Thanks, Nina.
That's my beer
you're drinking.
Actually, I think I do kind
of live here now.
Did I just screw up your
life, Poppy?
I screwed up my own life.
Oh well.