Competitive Brunching (2017) Movie Script
- Most people only spend
a couple of hours a week
at brunch.
We spend our whole lives.
- This is more than a lifestyle.
It's a style of life.
(upbeat instrumental music)
- It's an art form I've studied for years.
(cork pops)
(upbeat instrumental music)
(alarm rings)
- Competitive brunching
is one of the most intense
food competitions in the world today.
My weakness is in the Hung
Over and Rallying category
but my strength is in
the Naming Other Places
We Could Eat Brunch Instead category.
I can't, I can't remember them all.
I don't know how I'm supposed to list five
alternate restaurants to a picky eater.
You know, of course I fail.
Of course I'm screwing up.
Of course I'm screwing this up.
I'm blowing this.
You're worthless and you're
useless and of course
you screwed this up.
- It's definitely taken a toll
on my life at home.
I lost everything to the
brunch competition, literally.
I have high cholesterol.
The competition destroyed
my digestive system.
I've gone into debt trying
to buy all the brunch food.
- I can't believe you
chose brunch over us!
- I'll see you and the
kids after the competition.
I'm gonna win the gold!
Also, my wife left me,
but it'll all be worth it.
- After being discovered by a brunch sensei,
I studied ancient brunching in Silver Lake
and I can say it confidence.
I have mastered the Waiting For A
Table category both in body and in soul.
- As the head of the Court
of Champion Brunchers,
I understand how stressful
the final championships
can be. We are looking for
mastery of all the main categories.
Picking a restaurant, waiting in line,
ordering, rallying, and
splitting the check.
- Baby, please answer the phone.
I need you.
You have my cholesterol medicine.
- I was actually the champion in 2005
and my life was changed forever.
- Evan Fade's $10.00 bottomless mimosas
two hour limit.
Estrella's $15.00 bottomless.
I'd like to go for the
bonus and say that I think
we should get brunch at Mama Bacon
at 12 o'clock to avoid the
11 am and the 1 pm rushes.
- Smoked salmon omelet with avocado,
turkey bacon on the side, no extra salt
on the eggs.
Tapatillo on the side,
and no toast.
- Carl, you can stop waiting now.
You've achieved a record time.
- I never stop waiting.
- First one to split the
check correctly wins.
- Check please.
- Check it.
- Lester, I'm afraid you split it without adding the tip.
- No!
No!
- I didn't think it would come to this.
- Brunch is ruined.
(dramatic music)
- Brunch, I gave everything.
Brunch!
(sizzling)
(slow instrumental music)
a couple of hours a week
at brunch.
We spend our whole lives.
- This is more than a lifestyle.
It's a style of life.
(upbeat instrumental music)
- It's an art form I've studied for years.
(cork pops)
(upbeat instrumental music)
(alarm rings)
- Competitive brunching
is one of the most intense
food competitions in the world today.
My weakness is in the Hung
Over and Rallying category
but my strength is in
the Naming Other Places
We Could Eat Brunch Instead category.
I can't, I can't remember them all.
I don't know how I'm supposed to list five
alternate restaurants to a picky eater.
You know, of course I fail.
Of course I'm screwing up.
Of course I'm screwing this up.
I'm blowing this.
You're worthless and you're
useless and of course
you screwed this up.
- It's definitely taken a toll
on my life at home.
I lost everything to the
brunch competition, literally.
I have high cholesterol.
The competition destroyed
my digestive system.
I've gone into debt trying
to buy all the brunch food.
- I can't believe you
chose brunch over us!
- I'll see you and the
kids after the competition.
I'm gonna win the gold!
Also, my wife left me,
but it'll all be worth it.
- After being discovered by a brunch sensei,
I studied ancient brunching in Silver Lake
and I can say it confidence.
I have mastered the Waiting For A
Table category both in body and in soul.
- As the head of the Court
of Champion Brunchers,
I understand how stressful
the final championships
can be. We are looking for
mastery of all the main categories.
Picking a restaurant, waiting in line,
ordering, rallying, and
splitting the check.
- Baby, please answer the phone.
I need you.
You have my cholesterol medicine.
- I was actually the champion in 2005
and my life was changed forever.
- Evan Fade's $10.00 bottomless mimosas
two hour limit.
Estrella's $15.00 bottomless.
I'd like to go for the
bonus and say that I think
we should get brunch at Mama Bacon
at 12 o'clock to avoid the
11 am and the 1 pm rushes.
- Smoked salmon omelet with avocado,
turkey bacon on the side, no extra salt
on the eggs.
Tapatillo on the side,
and no toast.
- Carl, you can stop waiting now.
You've achieved a record time.
- I never stop waiting.
- First one to split the
check correctly wins.
- Check please.
- Check it.
- Lester, I'm afraid you split it without adding the tip.
- No!
No!
- I didn't think it would come to this.
- Brunch is ruined.
(dramatic music)
- Brunch, I gave everything.
Brunch!
(sizzling)
(slow instrumental music)