Cornered! (2009) Movie Script
1
We've just gotten
information regarding another attack...
by the Convenience Store Killer.
Issues, man. Issues.
The killer has struck again,
this time in the Santee Alley
district in downtown L.A.
The serial killer's...
I mean, the way he kills people...
Of course I am worried.
As a parent,
what am I supposed to do?
What if the killer decides
to do home invasions next?
The authorities still have no leads...
because, yet again,
the surveillance tapes are missing.
Police remain baffled,
still unable to find hard evidence...
exposing the identity of the killer.
He's probably just some punk fool...
with too much imagination.
Police discovered
four bodies earlier this morning.
All of them had been tortured
and brutally murdered.
The mayor's office has announced
an increased reward of $500,000...
for information leading to the arrest
and conviction of the serial killer.
Pinche Mona.
Mona, no, you don't.
Donny. No wonder
he's so fucking fat.
Asshole.
Got yourself
a nice tan, Jimmy.
Huh? Oh. Yeah.
Weather sucked.
Hmm. Must've been
why you came back early, huh?
When do we get to see
the vacation pictures?
Didn't take any.
I didn't bring
a camera.
What about the one
on your cell phone?
What?
- Jacko? Man, I knew it. Come on.
- Damn, Donny.
- Let's go.
- I ain't doing a damn thing.
Man, what the hell you doing?
I ain't done a damn...
Let's go.
You know the rules. Get out.
- Aw, man.
- If you come in, I swear to God...
Man, how many times
I got to tell you? You are banned.
Oh, come on, Donny.
One little can
of dog food?
I mean, you wouldn't want old Skippy here
to go hungry, would you?
He ain't had nothing
to eat in three days.
Come on, Donny.
All right, man.
You're a good brother.
What was that? What...
Give me that.
Give me that!
Shit.
Those motherfuckers.
- Give me it.
- No, you ain't.
Get... off... of... me.
- My booze.
- Asshole.
- Don't slam my door, bitch.
- Put it on my bill, you cheap bastard.
- Is there a problem here?
- Donny, just go back inside.
Just give me
my fucking money.
You got half.
The other half was if you swallowed.
Hey, why don't you give
the lady her money, okay?
Stay out of this, you fat fuck.
Just give her the money!
Huh?
Make me.
Jesus!
The first one's
on the house.
The next one
she'll put on your tab.
You're fucking dead.
Really?
Jesus!
This...
This ain't over yet.
Fucking little bitch! You fucking
goddamn American piece of shit!
Eh, fuck you!
Thanks, Morty.
Sure. No worries.
What happened there?
I can't even start.
What am I gonna do
with you, Marie? Just leave.
And you, get the hell outta here,
you pervert. Never come back.
Steve, here's the stuff.
I couldn't wait until tomorrow.
You're late.
Jimmy.
What? What?
You okay?
Why can't you get
a normal job?
Don't judge me, Donny.
I have rent to pay.
- Oh, God.
- What?
Last bit.
Hmm.
You gonna pay for that?
If you ask me, you picked
the wrong time of year to be...
- in the store-selling business, Steve.
- I'm not asking.
Well, you really wanna
unload this stuff?
You got to make it something
that people wanna buy.
Let me guess. This another one
of your sales pitches...
to try to get me to buy more shit
from you, right?
No, it's not a sales pitch.
This is friendly advice.
Remember the first rule
of retail:
your store is only
as good as your stock.
Nothing wrong with my stock.
No, you don't, Jimmy.
- What are you doing?
- Nothing.
Ah, Donny Doughnut.
Glad you could join me.
Just so we're clear, I'm deducting
from your paycheck this week...
three sugar glazed,
two chocolate, six creams.
Oh, and a new front door.
Hey, Steve, come on, man.
That was an accident.
Oh, there'll be an accident,
your fat ass doesn't fix that door.
I swear, the killer's got a thing
for liquor stores.
Four victims last night.
You should've seen the owners.
The asshole wouldn't
find it as funny...
if he would start getting
brain-dead delivery guys.
I heard the reward
is now half a million.
That would be
a good vacation, huh, Jimmy?
Whatever.
Screw the reward.
If I knew who the killer was... Ah!
- You'd pass on half a million bucks?
- Nah. I'd collect.
But they didn't specify
if they wanted him dead or alive,
so I guess he'll get his due.
Oh, yeah?
What do you have in mind?
Well, you know,
that guy, um...
from that movie, Jimmy, you used to watch
when you were a kid, hombre.
- The guy with the messed-up face.
- Who, Freddy?
No, no, no. The other guy. You used to
dress up as him and jump out on your ma.
- Oh, Leatherface.
- Leatherface.
Yeah. Remember him?
I mean, he was on the money,
but his technique...
He used to ram the meat hook
right between the shoulder blades,
giving 'em a lot of leeway for kicking
and screaming and carrying on.
See, what you do is you hang 'em
upside down like a regular animal.
You ram the meat hook
low through his back,
legs spread, cleft
of his ass cheeks exposed.
Ooh, sounds kind
of kinky to me.
Of course. Everything sounds kinky to you.
Anyway, what's the first thing you do
when you're sawing wood?
You mark a line with a saw
so you can get a straight cut.
That's the crack
of this guy's ass.
You line up the blade, fire that baby up
and...
It sounds like if you're gonna go through
all the trouble to string this bastard up,
it would be a waste
to just finish him off just like that.
What would you do besides
licking him to death?
Ha, ha, ha, ha.
What would I do?
Uh... let's see.
Ooh. I'd pull his eyes out.
- Ooh, that's original, Mona.
- Ha, ha, ha.
Fuck you too.
Ha, ha, ha.
You got a sick plan, Steve.
Where you gonna get tools
like that?
Are you kidding, man? This place was a
turn-of-the-century butcher shop.
Most of the original shit's
still down in the basement.
You're kidding.
No, really.
Cleavers, knives, meat hooks.
Scary-looking shit.
Just what that prick deserves.
So, what's wrong with putting
half a million bucks in your pocket?
- Uh... nothing.
- Mm-mm. Absolutely nothing.
A Caribbean cruise. Ooh, a new crib
in a decent neighborhood.
- Oh, and a new pimped ride.
- Acting lessons.
- Mmm.
- And a big house in Malibu,
with a fireplace
and a view of the ocean.
Mmm. Ah.
What would you do, Jimmy?
A guy like that's
nothing but vermin.
Yeah, but how
would you kill him?
Well, he's still
hanging upside down, right?
I'd wrap him up
in Saran Wrap,
fucking head to toe,
like a big chunk of dope.
Then I'd cut him up.
Cut him up really bad.
Let that plastic baggy fill up
like a used condom.
Let that son of a bitch
choke in his own filthy blood.
Freako.
Well, before this goes on,
I will bid you adieu before I hurl.
Bye, Morty.
Ah. Hey, what
would you do, Jess?
- Finished.
- Hey, they locked us in.
Oh. I couldn't kill anyone.
Hypothetically, Jessita.
Let's say you're cornered. You or him.
Do or die. What would you do?
Cut off his head, I guess.
Who's that?
Jimmy, give me the bat.
- Whoa!
- Steve! Steve! Donny!
- Who the hell was that?
- What he look like?
I don't know, man.
I was talking to Jimmy.
He had a hat on.
All right, everybody,
get back inside.
Hey, uh,
you don't think...
Get out of here, Morty.
- Stay. Stay. Please stay.
- I need to make rent, Donny.
Join us for the game tonight.
I don't know the first thing
about poker.
Oh, Texas Hold 'Em is easy, Jess.
You'll learn it in no time.
Besides, Steve
will be wasted soon.
It'll be like taking candy from a baby.
So, who's playing poker?
Well, Jess is thinking
about joining us tonight.
Well, as long as she's
got money for the pot.
- Steve, don't be such a pig.
- I'll spot you 50 bucks.
Maybe you'll get lucky.
- Okay.
- Okay, everyone,
collect your purchases.
Form an orderly line.
Jimmy, you're on the register
while I set up upstairs.
Oh, and Mona owes 9.25
and Jess 12.20.
Hey, who says
I owe nine bucks?
Well, let's see.
One Mississippi Mud Sandwich,
two fudge bars.
Oh, and those chocolate clairs
you snuck in your bag last Wednesday.
Hey.
How does he know
about last Wednesday?
I told you. He's got VCRs
wired up to those things.
Well, they're damn well hidden if he has.
Believe me, I have checked.
He doesn't trust any of us.
He's just an asshole.
Give me the usual.
I got him wrapped around my finger.
- I know all of Steve's tricks.
- Oh, yeah?
Very funny, Jimmy.
Huh? Oh.
Sorry.
You even have
the same doughnuts every night.
You okay?
I'm all right!
Donny, can you take over for me?
- I got to take a leak, man.
- Sure.
T.J.
Yeah. It's me. Jimmy.
No. Look, I can't get
into all that now.
When can you come by?
I'll pay for the damn cab.
I'm dying here, man.
Well, how soon is soon?
One hour? Two hours?
Okay.
Okay.
Look, I said okay, didn't I?
- Steve. Hey...
- Hey, Jimmy...
What the fuck did I tell you?
That if I ever caught you calling
his scumbag again, I'd fuck you up!
No. Wait. I just needed a little
something to take the edge off...
- just a little methadone.
- Methadone?
Goddamn it, you were on that shit
in rehab and you still fucked it up...
- by bringing in dope!
- Ow!
- Goddamn it!
- Ow! Leave me alone, Steve.
The deal with your mother was that if you
goddamn work here you got to be clean!
- I was clean!
- When?
- Yesterday!
- Should we do something?
Who's gonna stop him? You?
What the hell is it
all about anyway?
Where do you think Jimmy's been
this past week?
Hawaii.
Comes back whiter
than a nun's tit,
- and you think he's been to Hawaii?
- That's what Steve told me.
Steve put out
the whole Hawaii story...
because he's embarrassed
there's a junkie in his family.
Jimmy was in rehab.
Yeah, and it looks like he got himself
kicked out by the sound of it.
You are worthless, goddamn it!
Hey, let's just go on upstairs.
Come on.
Someone should talk
to the goddamn mirror for once!
- Steve, I'm feeling sick, man.
- Sick.
Come on, you got
to understand. Steve.
- What the fuck do you think you're doing?
- I got a dependency, man.
- Shut the fuck up.
- Come on. Please, Steve. I need my phone.
- Oh, you want this? Yeah? You want this?
- Yes. Yes, please.
What the hell
did you do that for?
I'm off the clock, Steve.
Let me out.
We're playing poker.
I don't wanna play poker, Steve.
I just wanna go home.
I don't think so. We're gonna have us
a good old-fashioned lock-in.
What? You're gonna keep me
prisoner here?
Don't think of it that way.
We're gonna have some fun,
play some cards, have a couple of drinks.
You could even win
some cash.
Then after a fine evening of
entertainment, you can stay here...
- with your old Uncle Steve.
- No!
You'll be ready for work in the morning.
You'll already be here.
And we'll do this every night until you
feel better, how does that sound?
Get your ass upstairs.
What are you looking for,
his porno collection?
No. I was
just checking.
I think Jimmy was right
about those VCRs.
They're coming.
For once, I actually feel glad
Steve's got all this surveillance stuff.
- What?
- All these cameras.
I mean, they've got to be
some sort of deterrent, right?
I guess.
Hey, hey.
- It looks like my lucky night.
- Ah. Who's the dealer?
- What?
- Whose turn is it to deal?
- Toss those babies over here.
- Uh-uh. We'll cut for it.
Oh!
All right, let's see
the color of your money.
Color of my money is green.
Give me 50.
This is for me and Jess.
- OK, and I'm gonna call tonight, alright?
- Don't worry about it.
Tuesday's my slow night.
Got it. You okay, Jimmy?
He's all right.
He just picked today
to quit the smokes.
Jimmy's quitting smoking?
Yeah. He was being
a real pussy about it.
Like you'd know.
God, I've quit smoking
a hundred times.
- Exactly.
- Exactly.
Hey, Steve, what are you gonna do
once you sell this dump?
- I got a plan.
- Oh, yeah?
Why don't you enlighten us?
Well, a couple of my ideas
I would have to run by a patent office...
before I start shooting off
my mouth.
Wait. You're gonna become an inventor?
What are you gonna invent, Steve?
We're closed!
Is anyone
expecting company?
Wait. Didn't Sadie say
that she'd drop by?
Oh, yeah. Shit.
I thought we were playing cards,
- or what?
- She owes me money.
- Is it her?
- I can't see from here.
Let me borrow your cell phone
for a second, Jess.
Fuck! I must've left it in Teddy's car.
- What's wrong with yours?
- I'm outta credit.
Incoming calls only.
You know, I don't think
it really is her. I think it...
- Are we playing cards or what?
- Okay. Okay! My goodness.
Come on. So tell us
what you're going to invent, Steve.
Burger joints.
Hey.
I hate to piss
on your Cheerios, Steve,
but I think Ronald McDonald
may have beat you to the punch.
Okay.
What's the most fucking
annoying thing in the world?
I'll tell you.
You're out shopping, right?
And you got to take a leak. And the only
place around is a McDonald's.
So you go inside
and some clown says,
"Sorry, man. The restroom's
for customers only".
And you go, "Well, I'm a customer.
I eat here all the time.
I mean, not just now,
but you know".
And the guy goes,
"Yeah, well, that's what everybody says".
And you go, "Look, asshole.
You see this lump of shit? See this?
"I didn't grow this baby grazing
at the fucking salad bar at Vegans R Us.
Let me use the goddamn john".
The guy goes, "You know what?
Take a hike, or I'm gonna call security".
What do you do?
You either punch the guy out
or piss your pants, right?
You show him your
burger facility reward card.
One Big Mac or its equivalent...
say, a Filet-O-Fish and fries...
equals one stamp on your card
equals one complimentary piss.
Supersize it and you get one free
complimentary shit as well.
Yeah, laugh it up, asshole.
But where are you gonna be this time
next year, apart from the fucking morgue?
Whatever, man. I got plans.
Yeah? Like what?
Well, tell me. Like what?
Uh, so the burger facility reward card,
that sounds like an interesting concept.
I'm telling you,
it's got the potential to be huge.
But let me tell you something
about McDonald's.
They pulled that bathroom stunt
on me so many times,
I've taken my business
elsewhere,
- in principal.
- Oh, please, Steve.
I have seen your car, and it is full
of empty McDonald's cartons.
That's why I said "in principle",
brainiac. Of course I still eat there.
They're the only ones
who have the Big Mac.
But inside, I'm no longer
the loyal customer I used to be.
I don't owe them shit. You think
I'm the only one that thinks that way?
Thousands who have strayed
from the path...
because McDonald's was too cheap
to let them use their...
- Hello. Nurse Moore speaking.
- Let me tell you something.
Once the first burger joint takes it on,
they'll all have to take on it.
What is your choice
of pleasure?
- Uh-huh.
- Burger facility reward card.
I guess I'm qualified to do that.
- Ooh.
- Hey.
- What the hell's going on?
- I'm just showing her how to play, man.
- She's never played before.
- Well, don't, man.
There's money on the table,
for Christ's sakes.
Oh, what do
I look like?
- Well, I'm 27.
- In the '80s.
I will beat your ass.
I'm 27,
with long auburn hair...
that people say complements
my milky white complexion.
And underneath my tight,
tight nurse's uniform,
I'm wearing a 40 double-D cup bra.
What happened? Fast shooter?
- Mm-mm. His wife just came in.
- Oh, please.
So, do you ever get a guy...
You ever get him, like, mixed up?
You have some guy call you, and he, um...
he wants you to be a policewoman...
- and wants you to handcuff him?
- Mm-mm. I'm a professional, honey.
Caller I.D. tells me
what I'm supposed to be.
You should run it like 911.
You know,
start a service like...
"For blow jobs, press 1.
"For handjobs, dial 2.
"For back door, press 3.
And for missionary, press 4."
How boring... missionary.
No, seriously. Have you gotten
a guy calling in. He's calling from...
- I don't know, across...
- Ey, Ey, what's with all the questions?
What, are you trying to
compete with her?
There might be a niche in the market
for fat clerks with a doughnut fetish.
Oh, don't get all snippy
'cause you're losing.
Yeah, loser.
Read 'em and weep, guys.
Hey.
Kiss my doughnut hole.
Like this.
Oh, God. Jesus, Steve,
you're disgusting.
I'm disgusting?
You're the one who said you were
gonna blow him when he turned 25.
I said I'd organize his party.
- What?
- And thanks for spoiling the surprise.
All right,
coming around the horn. Jimmy.
Steve.
I need another beer.
Does anyone want anything else
from downstairs?
All right.
- Thanks.
-
Mona Moore
will give you more pleasure.
Oh!
It's Clyde.
I've been a bad girl,
haven't I?
You saw the light
from under the door...
when you were making
your rounds.
You opened the door
and caught me.
That's right.
You caught me stealing
the petty cash.
What, again?
That's the third time this week.
You caught me
fair and square.
No, the guy's
got no imagination.
You're not gonna tell on me,
are you, Clyde?
Mm-hmm.
So, why doesn't the company
check the phone bills or something?
Oh! He's the night guard.
He's got keys to all the departments.
Never uses
the same phone twice.
Please don't tell
on me, Clyde.
There's got to be some way
I can make it up to you.
I.R.S. headquarters.
It's a lot of fucking phones.
Yeah, that's where all our money goes...
funding jerk-off lines.
Mm-hmm.
- Did you hear that?
- I'll do anything, Clyde.
- Who...
- I told you we're closed!
Oh, Clyde, please.
Not the panties as well.
What do you want me
to take my panties off for?
So he can wear 'em
underneath his uniform.
Will you shut the fuck up?
Oh, Clyde.
That didn't sound like
it was coming from the front.
Is that wide enough, Clyde?
Sounded like it was coming
from the side door or something.
Don't worry about it.
This place is locked down.
Oh, no, Clyde, please.
Don't ask me to do that.
Don't make me beg for it.
- What the fuck was that?
- I feel so humiliated.
It's nothing. Play, play.
Okay. I'll say it.
Give it to me, Clyde.
Give it to me now. Yes.
Yes! Oh, Clyde.
You know how I like it.
Oh, yes, Clyde. Oh, yes.
It's just some kids
trashing a car.
Put it
in my dirty mouth.
You wanna hear
what it sounds like, Clyde?
Damn it, Donny. You're as bad as Steve.
Mmm.
Mmm. Mmm. Mmm.
You like that, Clyde?
Are we playing cards
or sucking dicks here?
It's her job, Steve.
Yeah, well, this is my job, but you don't
see me bringing in the customers...
- and giving them blow jobs.
- You're the boss.
Mmm. Mm-mm.
Oh!
Oh! Mmm.
- What the fuck was that?
- I'll check it out.
- Sit down.
- Geez Louise. I'll go, okay? My goodness.
And stay outta that
freezer down there.
Haven't you had enough ice cream
for one night?
Ah, fuck you too.
Please, Clyde,
I'm just a secretary...
trying to earn a living.
I needed the money.
I made a mistake.
Haven't I suffered enough?
Please, Clyde.
Not with the nightstick.
Okay, Clyde. Okay.
You're the boss.
Yeah. I'm doing that.
I'm leaning over the desk.
Yeah. I've got my dress
pulled up real high.
Yeah. I see you
coming at me...
with that big ol' nightstick.
You're coming at me,
and I'm spreading my legs
real wide.
Yeah. I'm still here, Clyde.
Oh, Clyde. Oh, baby.
I know it's wrong.
It's so wrong, but it feels so right.
Ooh! Ooh!
Ooh, I think I'm gonna...
Ooh! Oh my God,
I think I'm gonna...
She's been gone a while.
Stop worrying, will ya?
Shit!
Jimmy. Fucking asshole.
Where the hell are you?
Jimmy, I'm gonna give you
5 fucking minutes! Then I'm outta here!
Fuck! Shit.
What was that?
I don't hear anything.
- Please, Steve, can you just go...
- Donny Doughnut,
haul your ass downstairs
and see what's keeping Money Mona.
Why me?
Because I said so.
And if she's got her head in that freezer
again, tell her I'm gonna kill her.
Mona,
what are you doing?
Mona?
- Is she okay?
- Yeah, she's fine.
Still talking to that Clyde guy.
That guy must have balls
like fucking watermelons, huh?
Hey, Steve, there's something wrong
with that camera.
Yeah, right.
What is with that camera?
A minute ago, it was all out of focus.
Now look at it.
Ah, shitty Chinese junk.
And where's Mona?
Something's not right.
Five minutes ago, the kid saw her
still milking that security guy.
Mona?
You there?
Mona?
Steve, the lights are out
down here!
- What?
- The lights... they're out!
Find the fuse box!
It's in the stockroom
just behind the door!
Thanks, Steve.
Mona?
Where the hell are you?
I swear to God,
if you're gonna jump out at me,
I have pepper spray,
and I'm not afraid to use it.
Holy... Oh, shit!
Oh, Donny!
Oh, God! Jess!
Oh! Oh, I'm sorry.
Oh, you crazy...
What do you mean,
she just got in a cab and left?
Like I told you, some asshole
was blaring his horn.
I look out the window.
I see a cab outside.
Next thing I see is Mona coming out
through the side door,
gets in the cab, cab takes off,
end of fucking story.
You sure it was Mona?
Feeling better?
Who else is it gonna be?
I don't know, but it just doesn't make
very much sense.
I mean, why would she leave
without telling us?
I know. She was out of money.
She wanted back in the game.
Maybe decided to pay this Sadie chick
a visit, you know.
No, no. Wait. Hang on.
You said that we were locked down here.
- How could she have gotten out?
- That bitch took my keys.
- What?
- I remember.
When she got in the cab, I looked
for the keys. The keys were gone.
Wait. None of this
makes any sense.
Did you see any of this?
I'm gonna call her.
- How are you gonna do that?
- Give me your cell phone.
- I don't got one.
- Well, what about the phone downstairs?
Phone company cut me off
months ago.
Jesus Christ, Steve.
Jimmy?
Wasting your time.
No, I know he has one.
I saw him use it earlier.
Not anymore, he doesn't.
Pissed me off earlier.
Tossed it out the window.
Then go get it.
Well, I don't have the fucking keys,
do I?
- So we're locked in here.
- Ah, the blonde finally got it.
You mean we're locked in here and there's
no way of letting anyone know?
Well, now you know why I'm so pissed off
at your stupid fucking bitch friend.
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Take it easy. Take it easy.
- So, how far away is this Sadie?
- I don't know.
A couple of blocks, I guess.
If Mona's gone to get money,
she's gonna come back, yeah?
Let's just play some cards
to pass the time.
Good idea.
Is he okay?
Ah! Fuck!
Hey, dick splash,
we're playing cards.
He doesn't have to play
if he doesn't want to.
You're not even looking
at your fucking cards.
All right,
let's see 'em.
He cleaned me out.
Fuck! Fuck!
- Damn it!
- Ever seen anybody get so pissed off...
after winning
a shitload of money?
Can't say that I have.
Settle down, will you?
- Let's finish the game.
- Just let him be, Steve.
I said let's finish the fucking game!
Oh, geez!
Oh, Christ, Steve,
this place is infested!
It's only a little roach,
you fucking pussy.
The game's over anyway.
We're both outta cash.
I know how you can
make your money back.
Oh, yeah? How?
Strip poker?
Come on.
You can make your money back.
I don't need money
that badly.
No.
N... N... No.
Come on, Jessita. I haven't seen
a decent pair of tits in decades.
Don't hold your breath.
Could you stop eating
those damn doughnuts!
Get 'em off me!
Leave me alone!
Jimmy, there's nothing there!
Man, I don't know what's wrong with him,
freaking out like that.
Maybe it's called
"going cold turkey".
Oh, come on, Steve,
everyone knows.
There's no point
trying to keep it a secret.
It's his mother, you know.
It would kill her.
She would fucking die, you know.
I don't know what to do.
Donny.
I'm just a joke to you.
Look, I'm sorry!
I just don't like to see you
do this to yourself.
Those doughnuts
are gonna kill you.
Yeah? What are those,
vitamins?
I don't know. You just never
stick up for yourself.
I mean, show some fucking
self-respect, for Christ's sake.
"Donny Doughnut".
How long are you gonna let people
keep calling you that?
Oh, God.
What the fuck is your problem?
Look! There on the screen!
Oh, sweet Jesus!
I saw it.
I saw it, and it's down there
in the stockroom.
I saw it!
There's nothing there,
pinche loco cabrn!
What did you see, Jimmy?
King cockroach.
Chichis Christ.
It's not funny!
We need to get him help!
Where the hell is Mona?
Down there in the stockroom.
- King fucking cockroach?
- Yes.
And it was big.
Like a man.
And his face...
Oh. He was all
shiny and black,
with these horrible
bug eyes.
And its mouth...
Oh, God!
Its mouth was just
a slit...
with tiny little roach teeth.
And it was grinning
at me!
Jimmy, you're freaking out.
You're hallucinating!
You didn't see it.
You didn't...
I didn't see it
because there's nothing there.
Look, it's all part
of the withdraw symptoms!
I know what I saw!
It's down there
in the fucking stockroom!
Organizing the others.
Preparing for the attack.
Jimmy, what attack?
Come on, man!
Don't you see what's going on?
They got us trapped
in here!
First they got Mona,
and now they want to get us.
They didn't get Mona, man.
She left in a cab.
Wake up, man!
Mona didn't get in any fucking cab.
Mona's nothing
but roach food.
They got her.
But they're not
gonna get me.
Hey, wait, wait, wait. Where the fuck
do you think you're going?
Hey!
Sit the fuck down,
you fucking pussy.
Stop fucking telling me
what to do!
All my life you've been
pushing me around. "Do this, Jimmy".
"Do that, Jimmy". "Fuck you, Jimmy".
Well, fuck you, you...
- You bullying piece of shit!
- Stop it.
Who the fuck are you
to tell me what to do? Huh?
Jimmy, chill out.
You're not even my dad,
and you've been pushing me
and pushing me,
treating me like a slave
in this fuckin' shit-hole!
Well, don't worry!
I'm gone! Outta here!
Good luck with
the fuckin' roaches!
Steve!
Get out of here!
It's only a roach.
Jesus.
Shoo! Shoo!
Shoo!
Oh, God.
I'm trapped like a rat
in a fucking maze!
Get away from me.
You filthy fucking vermin!
I'm not afraid of you!
Do you know what I do
to filthy little insects like you? Huh?
I squish 'em!
I was only joking.
I wouldn't kill you.
I wouldn't.
Really.
Oh, please.
Please.
I wouldn't do that!
What do you want from me?
Please!
What do you want from me?
Where does he get his balls
to talk to me like that?
23 years I've looked after his sorry ass,
and this is how he repays me?
And now he's wrecking the joint!
Guys, check this out.
God, he's pitchin'
a shit fit.
- I'm going down there.
- You're not going anywhere.
Help me.
I'm not gonna have
any store left.
- What is it?
- I saw someone down there.
I swear to God, I saw somebody
at the deli counter.
- Sure it wasn't Jimmy?
- No, Jess, it wasn't Jimmy.
It was a guy in a black coat
with a thing on his face.
- King cockroach maybe?
- It's not funny.
Are you sure
you saw someone?
Yeah, Jimmy,
and he's wrecking my store.
Oh, yeah? Where is he, Steve?
'Cause he disappeared.
- Just like Mona disappeared.
- Ah, Christ.
- What?
- He's down in the basement.
Steve, please!
Don't go! I'm begging you!
Something bad is gonna happen.
I can just feel it.
Yeah, his mom's gonna kill me
if he breaks his crazy neck.
Steve, man, come on.
Don't go down...
You're gonna go down there
without anything?
Don't you have a gun
or something?
With a nut-job like Jimmy
on the premises? Give me a break!
Happy now? If you wanna
do something, look at the monitors,
and if you see
anything, yell.
Steve!
Christ, Jimmy.
There.
By the deli counter.
- What is it?
- I don't know.
Here, see if you can get it
up on the full screen.
I'll try.
Okay, zoom in on that.
- Donny...
- Uh... It's my first time.
There's nothing there anyway.
Jimmy, that you?
- What?
- The meat slicer... it's gone.
- Steve, get up here now!
- Why? What is it?
Someone's just taken
the meat slicer!
Take it easy. It's just Jimmy
trying to creep me out.
Asshole left a trail of ketchup
leading down to the basement...
trying to make it look
like blood, the dickhead.
Steve, come on!
He used to pull this shit,
all the time when he was a kid...
I'll be right back, okay?
Keep watching the monitors.
Fuck, Jimmy!
Jimmy.
Jimmy! You down there?
Ooh, he must have passed out,
all the blood he lost.
Can't you get the camera
to follow him?
That's what I'm trying to do.
Hmm. Looks like
we're having a party.
Asshole.
Ooh, Jimmy!
I'm so scared.
My asshole
is so puckering.
Spooky, spooky!
I see you, shithead.
Right behind the packing cases.
I followed your trail
of ketchup, dickhead!
So,
wh... what do they
call you?
Jerky Face?
Or, uh... maybe just
Jerk-off for short?
Hey, you can stop
clowning around now, okay?
I was just trying
to be a dad.
It's still no good.
Try the button on the left.
Oh, my God!
- What the f...
- No.
Please.
You don't have to do this!
Please! Please!
Please.
You don't have to do this.
Please.
Let me go!
You fucking creep!
Let me go!
No! Oh! Oh!
Leave him alone, you fucking bastard!
Leave him alone!
You fucking asshole.
No! No! No! No!
Look what he did to him!
Look at what he fucking did to him!
Okay. The basement door has a dead bolt!
We can lock him in there!
We can lock... Okay. Holy shit.
Donny, come on!
Shit!
Help!
Somebody help us!
Help! Help!
- We're being attacked!
- Help, please!
What do we do now?
- We're trapped in here.
- Wait.
Who's usually the first person
in here in the morning?
Morty. Morty. He drops off
the papers around 5:30.
We're just gonna have to
hold out till then.
Somebody fucking help us!
The killer is in here!
Fucking help!
No one's coming.
We're on our own.
- Wait. Let's find a weapon.
- Okay.
Oh, my God,
we're gonna fucking die!
We're gonna fucking die!
We're gonna fucking die!
For Christ's sake!
Donny, we're not dead yet!
Oh, my God.
I see what he's doing.
He's killing us in the ways
that we said we'd kill him.
Oh, my God.
Come on, come on.
I see it. It's in her hand.
Oh, my God.
- She's fucking frozen solid.
- The battery's dying.
God, she's gotta have the keys on her
somewhere. Come on.
Hello? Clyde!
Listen to me.
This battery's about to die.
No, listen. We're trapped in a shop
with a killer, and...
No, this isn't Mona!
What do you mean,
I've got a cool style?
This isn't some jerk-off line,
you fucking moron!
There's nothing. No keys. Jimmy...
Jimmy's got the keys! I'll be back.
No, Mona's dead.
And we're gonna be dead too unless
you stop asking these stupid fucking...
Are you whacking off?
- 911. What's your...
- Hello? Hello?
Fuck!
Jess, I found them.
Donny, run! Upstairs!
Help!
Can somebody hear me?
Somebody
fucking help us!
Hide. Hide.
Oh, shit!
Go, go, go, go, go, go!
- Shit! He's coming.
- Fuck, fuck.
What?
- Now what?
- Shh.
Do you think he's gone?
I don't know. I don't know.
I didn't see him...
I didn't see him
go right downstairs.
I didn't hear him
go back downstairs.
Do you think it's safe
to open the door a little?
Jess, listen.
I'm sorry
I got you into this.
It's okay, Donny.
Don't...
It's not your fault.
We'll get out of this.
What was that?
Wait, you heard that, right?
Was it him?
It sounded like it was coming
from downstairs.
It sounded like
a truck pulling up.
It must be Morty.
What do you think he's gonna do
when he sees the store's closed?
Did you call the police?
Jess, Jess, don't...
Jess, don't, don't!
- Don't...
- Donny, just stay here.
Steve!
Steve, you drunken bum, wake up!
Come on! It's time to open up!
- Morty!
- Well.
I see Steve put his wallet
where his mouth is. I like that.
We were attacked last night.
- It was that serial killer.
- What?
Jess, if this is some kinda joke...
- or something...
- It's not a joke!
Jimmy and Steve and Mona
are dead.
What? Are you kidding me?
He's downstairs!
Call the cops now!
Okay, okay.
Give these to them.
Tell them Donny and I
are trapped upstairs.
- You sure he's still downstairs?
- Yes!
And this is the guy with the 1/2-a-million
dollar reward on his head?
- Morty, just get the fucking police!
- One second.
- One second.
- Morty!
He's in the basement. He's got
some sort of power tools going on...
- down there.
- Oh, no. Don't you even think about it!
If he's in the basement,
I can lock him in!
Are you crazy?
Listen to me!
Jess, I could really
use that reward.
What's going on?
He's after a piece
of that reward money.
What?
He thinks that he can
lock him in the basement.
- There's no door!
- Exactly.
Jess, listen, if he wants to be a hero,
it's his funeral, okay?
Jess, we are safe here.
- Yeah, we're safe, but what about Morty?
- Jess, please.
There's a killer down there!
Jess, we have to think
about ourselves.
Jesus, Donny,
we should help him!
Wait... Jess, wait.
Fuck! Fuck.
Jesus! Jess!
You scared the hell out of me!
What the hell are you doing?
He's down there!
I hear him walking around!
Are you sure?
One hundred percent.
Look, let's put some boxes here
and pen him in.
Yeah.
We got the fucker.
Now I wonder half a million bucks
split 3 ways is gonna be?
We got him!
Donny, we got him!
- Jess, it's Morty!
- What?
Cleanup on aisle three.
Come on.
Is he dead?
I don't know.
Let's hurry.
Donny!
Donny! No! Get up!
You can't do this to me now!
Mmm.
I almost won me a goldfish.
Donny Doughnut.
Look at you, huh?
I knew those doughnuts
were gonna be the death of you.
Let me go.
Let me go. Let me go.
Donny.
Donny Doughnut.
Where's Jess?
Where's Jess,
you sick fuck?
Watch the language
there, Doughnut.
She's right behind you.
You didn't have to kill her,
you sick fuck!
You didn't have to kill her!
Sick?
I'm sick?
No, everything I did tonight to them...
is what they said they were gonna do
to me if they caught me.
But I have the "get up and go"
to get it done.
Hmm?
You're a fuckin' lunatic!
You're a fuckin' lunatic!
I'm a lunatic?
For 25 years, I've been hauling
shit around here.
For 25 years, I've been listening
to losers like yourself...
talk about how you're
gonna be big shots.
About your dreams.
You know what?
I thought about my dreams.
Yeah, what about me?
This little voice in my head...
It said,
"What do you wanna do?
What were you born to do?"
- You're a twisted fuck, you know that?
- Hmm? Twisted?
Hmm. The difference
between you and me, Donny boy,
is that I have a work ethic.
So,
Donny Doughnut.
Hmm.
What am I gonna do with you?
Hmm?
I've been thinking about this.
How am I gonna...
finish you off?
No, wait. Wait!
Wait, wait, wait,
w... w... wait.
Wait? Wait?
Wait, wait, wait?
No. There's no waiting.
I'm behind schedule
as it is.
If you kill me,
you'll never get what you came for.
Really?
And what is it
that I came here for?
You watch it, don't you?
On tape, after.
You'll never find 'em
'cause he hides 'em...
all of 'em.
- You're lying.
- Yeah?
Why would I lie
at a time like this?
It's no fun if you can't watch
the instant replay, right?
What I wanna know...
where the hell all these fuckers learned
to get so creative, huh?
I know. There's gotta be some kinda
serial killer university...
- they're not telling us about.
- And what they did to that store owner...
Gross, man. Damn!
Hey, that's nothing compared to
what I would do to that son of a bitch...
- if he ever got into my store.
- Yeah.
Oh, yeah?
What do you have in mind?
Don't hate the game
Don't hate the player
Better watch your mouth
'cause what you say might kill ya
Some want the fame
I have no shame
I'm just justified
for takin' lives
So please forgive me
I know the place
the day, the time
Get ready for
your demise
I listen to
every word you say
The time is near
and I'm ready to play
Don't hate the game
Don't hate the player
Better watch your mouth
'cause what you say might kill ya
Some want the fame
I have no shame
I'm just justified
for takin' lives
So please forgive me
Hold it together, man
You're falling apart
You must be nervous
'cause I see your heart
Makes no difference
why you're feeling this way
Look in my eyes
See I'm goin' insane
So let's play
Who is ready for the game
Keep your head up high
It's your turn, don't cry
Oh, who's ready to die
Now I'm comin' for you
I know exactly what to do
So tell me how you want it
Don't hate the game
Don't hate the player
Better watch your mouth
'cause what you say might kill ya
Some want the fame
I have no shame
I'm just justified
for takin' lives
So please forgive me
We've just gotten
information regarding another attack...
by the Convenience Store Killer.
Issues, man. Issues.
The killer has struck again,
this time in the Santee Alley
district in downtown L.A.
The serial killer's...
I mean, the way he kills people...
Of course I am worried.
As a parent,
what am I supposed to do?
What if the killer decides
to do home invasions next?
The authorities still have no leads...
because, yet again,
the surveillance tapes are missing.
Police remain baffled,
still unable to find hard evidence...
exposing the identity of the killer.
He's probably just some punk fool...
with too much imagination.
Police discovered
four bodies earlier this morning.
All of them had been tortured
and brutally murdered.
The mayor's office has announced
an increased reward of $500,000...
for information leading to the arrest
and conviction of the serial killer.
Pinche Mona.
Mona, no, you don't.
Donny. No wonder
he's so fucking fat.
Asshole.
Got yourself
a nice tan, Jimmy.
Huh? Oh. Yeah.
Weather sucked.
Hmm. Must've been
why you came back early, huh?
When do we get to see
the vacation pictures?
Didn't take any.
I didn't bring
a camera.
What about the one
on your cell phone?
What?
- Jacko? Man, I knew it. Come on.
- Damn, Donny.
- Let's go.
- I ain't doing a damn thing.
Man, what the hell you doing?
I ain't done a damn...
Let's go.
You know the rules. Get out.
- Aw, man.
- If you come in, I swear to God...
Man, how many times
I got to tell you? You are banned.
Oh, come on, Donny.
One little can
of dog food?
I mean, you wouldn't want old Skippy here
to go hungry, would you?
He ain't had nothing
to eat in three days.
Come on, Donny.
All right, man.
You're a good brother.
What was that? What...
Give me that.
Give me that!
Shit.
Those motherfuckers.
- Give me it.
- No, you ain't.
Get... off... of... me.
- My booze.
- Asshole.
- Don't slam my door, bitch.
- Put it on my bill, you cheap bastard.
- Is there a problem here?
- Donny, just go back inside.
Just give me
my fucking money.
You got half.
The other half was if you swallowed.
Hey, why don't you give
the lady her money, okay?
Stay out of this, you fat fuck.
Just give her the money!
Huh?
Make me.
Jesus!
The first one's
on the house.
The next one
she'll put on your tab.
You're fucking dead.
Really?
Jesus!
This...
This ain't over yet.
Fucking little bitch! You fucking
goddamn American piece of shit!
Eh, fuck you!
Thanks, Morty.
Sure. No worries.
What happened there?
I can't even start.
What am I gonna do
with you, Marie? Just leave.
And you, get the hell outta here,
you pervert. Never come back.
Steve, here's the stuff.
I couldn't wait until tomorrow.
You're late.
Jimmy.
What? What?
You okay?
Why can't you get
a normal job?
Don't judge me, Donny.
I have rent to pay.
- Oh, God.
- What?
Last bit.
Hmm.
You gonna pay for that?
If you ask me, you picked
the wrong time of year to be...
- in the store-selling business, Steve.
- I'm not asking.
Well, you really wanna
unload this stuff?
You got to make it something
that people wanna buy.
Let me guess. This another one
of your sales pitches...
to try to get me to buy more shit
from you, right?
No, it's not a sales pitch.
This is friendly advice.
Remember the first rule
of retail:
your store is only
as good as your stock.
Nothing wrong with my stock.
No, you don't, Jimmy.
- What are you doing?
- Nothing.
Ah, Donny Doughnut.
Glad you could join me.
Just so we're clear, I'm deducting
from your paycheck this week...
three sugar glazed,
two chocolate, six creams.
Oh, and a new front door.
Hey, Steve, come on, man.
That was an accident.
Oh, there'll be an accident,
your fat ass doesn't fix that door.
I swear, the killer's got a thing
for liquor stores.
Four victims last night.
You should've seen the owners.
The asshole wouldn't
find it as funny...
if he would start getting
brain-dead delivery guys.
I heard the reward
is now half a million.
That would be
a good vacation, huh, Jimmy?
Whatever.
Screw the reward.
If I knew who the killer was... Ah!
- You'd pass on half a million bucks?
- Nah. I'd collect.
But they didn't specify
if they wanted him dead or alive,
so I guess he'll get his due.
Oh, yeah?
What do you have in mind?
Well, you know,
that guy, um...
from that movie, Jimmy, you used to watch
when you were a kid, hombre.
- The guy with the messed-up face.
- Who, Freddy?
No, no, no. The other guy. You used to
dress up as him and jump out on your ma.
- Oh, Leatherface.
- Leatherface.
Yeah. Remember him?
I mean, he was on the money,
but his technique...
He used to ram the meat hook
right between the shoulder blades,
giving 'em a lot of leeway for kicking
and screaming and carrying on.
See, what you do is you hang 'em
upside down like a regular animal.
You ram the meat hook
low through his back,
legs spread, cleft
of his ass cheeks exposed.
Ooh, sounds kind
of kinky to me.
Of course. Everything sounds kinky to you.
Anyway, what's the first thing you do
when you're sawing wood?
You mark a line with a saw
so you can get a straight cut.
That's the crack
of this guy's ass.
You line up the blade, fire that baby up
and...
It sounds like if you're gonna go through
all the trouble to string this bastard up,
it would be a waste
to just finish him off just like that.
What would you do besides
licking him to death?
Ha, ha, ha, ha.
What would I do?
Uh... let's see.
Ooh. I'd pull his eyes out.
- Ooh, that's original, Mona.
- Ha, ha, ha.
Fuck you too.
Ha, ha, ha.
You got a sick plan, Steve.
Where you gonna get tools
like that?
Are you kidding, man? This place was a
turn-of-the-century butcher shop.
Most of the original shit's
still down in the basement.
You're kidding.
No, really.
Cleavers, knives, meat hooks.
Scary-looking shit.
Just what that prick deserves.
So, what's wrong with putting
half a million bucks in your pocket?
- Uh... nothing.
- Mm-mm. Absolutely nothing.
A Caribbean cruise. Ooh, a new crib
in a decent neighborhood.
- Oh, and a new pimped ride.
- Acting lessons.
- Mmm.
- And a big house in Malibu,
with a fireplace
and a view of the ocean.
Mmm. Ah.
What would you do, Jimmy?
A guy like that's
nothing but vermin.
Yeah, but how
would you kill him?
Well, he's still
hanging upside down, right?
I'd wrap him up
in Saran Wrap,
fucking head to toe,
like a big chunk of dope.
Then I'd cut him up.
Cut him up really bad.
Let that plastic baggy fill up
like a used condom.
Let that son of a bitch
choke in his own filthy blood.
Freako.
Well, before this goes on,
I will bid you adieu before I hurl.
Bye, Morty.
Ah. Hey, what
would you do, Jess?
- Finished.
- Hey, they locked us in.
Oh. I couldn't kill anyone.
Hypothetically, Jessita.
Let's say you're cornered. You or him.
Do or die. What would you do?
Cut off his head, I guess.
Who's that?
Jimmy, give me the bat.
- Whoa!
- Steve! Steve! Donny!
- Who the hell was that?
- What he look like?
I don't know, man.
I was talking to Jimmy.
He had a hat on.
All right, everybody,
get back inside.
Hey, uh,
you don't think...
Get out of here, Morty.
- Stay. Stay. Please stay.
- I need to make rent, Donny.
Join us for the game tonight.
I don't know the first thing
about poker.
Oh, Texas Hold 'Em is easy, Jess.
You'll learn it in no time.
Besides, Steve
will be wasted soon.
It'll be like taking candy from a baby.
So, who's playing poker?
Well, Jess is thinking
about joining us tonight.
Well, as long as she's
got money for the pot.
- Steve, don't be such a pig.
- I'll spot you 50 bucks.
Maybe you'll get lucky.
- Okay.
- Okay, everyone,
collect your purchases.
Form an orderly line.
Jimmy, you're on the register
while I set up upstairs.
Oh, and Mona owes 9.25
and Jess 12.20.
Hey, who says
I owe nine bucks?
Well, let's see.
One Mississippi Mud Sandwich,
two fudge bars.
Oh, and those chocolate clairs
you snuck in your bag last Wednesday.
Hey.
How does he know
about last Wednesday?
I told you. He's got VCRs
wired up to those things.
Well, they're damn well hidden if he has.
Believe me, I have checked.
He doesn't trust any of us.
He's just an asshole.
Give me the usual.
I got him wrapped around my finger.
- I know all of Steve's tricks.
- Oh, yeah?
Very funny, Jimmy.
Huh? Oh.
Sorry.
You even have
the same doughnuts every night.
You okay?
I'm all right!
Donny, can you take over for me?
- I got to take a leak, man.
- Sure.
T.J.
Yeah. It's me. Jimmy.
No. Look, I can't get
into all that now.
When can you come by?
I'll pay for the damn cab.
I'm dying here, man.
Well, how soon is soon?
One hour? Two hours?
Okay.
Okay.
Look, I said okay, didn't I?
- Steve. Hey...
- Hey, Jimmy...
What the fuck did I tell you?
That if I ever caught you calling
his scumbag again, I'd fuck you up!
No. Wait. I just needed a little
something to take the edge off...
- just a little methadone.
- Methadone?
Goddamn it, you were on that shit
in rehab and you still fucked it up...
- by bringing in dope!
- Ow!
- Goddamn it!
- Ow! Leave me alone, Steve.
The deal with your mother was that if you
goddamn work here you got to be clean!
- I was clean!
- When?
- Yesterday!
- Should we do something?
Who's gonna stop him? You?
What the hell is it
all about anyway?
Where do you think Jimmy's been
this past week?
Hawaii.
Comes back whiter
than a nun's tit,
- and you think he's been to Hawaii?
- That's what Steve told me.
Steve put out
the whole Hawaii story...
because he's embarrassed
there's a junkie in his family.
Jimmy was in rehab.
Yeah, and it looks like he got himself
kicked out by the sound of it.
You are worthless, goddamn it!
Hey, let's just go on upstairs.
Come on.
Someone should talk
to the goddamn mirror for once!
- Steve, I'm feeling sick, man.
- Sick.
Come on, you got
to understand. Steve.
- What the fuck do you think you're doing?
- I got a dependency, man.
- Shut the fuck up.
- Come on. Please, Steve. I need my phone.
- Oh, you want this? Yeah? You want this?
- Yes. Yes, please.
What the hell
did you do that for?
I'm off the clock, Steve.
Let me out.
We're playing poker.
I don't wanna play poker, Steve.
I just wanna go home.
I don't think so. We're gonna have us
a good old-fashioned lock-in.
What? You're gonna keep me
prisoner here?
Don't think of it that way.
We're gonna have some fun,
play some cards, have a couple of drinks.
You could even win
some cash.
Then after a fine evening of
entertainment, you can stay here...
- with your old Uncle Steve.
- No!
You'll be ready for work in the morning.
You'll already be here.
And we'll do this every night until you
feel better, how does that sound?
Get your ass upstairs.
What are you looking for,
his porno collection?
No. I was
just checking.
I think Jimmy was right
about those VCRs.
They're coming.
For once, I actually feel glad
Steve's got all this surveillance stuff.
- What?
- All these cameras.
I mean, they've got to be
some sort of deterrent, right?
I guess.
Hey, hey.
- It looks like my lucky night.
- Ah. Who's the dealer?
- What?
- Whose turn is it to deal?
- Toss those babies over here.
- Uh-uh. We'll cut for it.
Oh!
All right, let's see
the color of your money.
Color of my money is green.
Give me 50.
This is for me and Jess.
- OK, and I'm gonna call tonight, alright?
- Don't worry about it.
Tuesday's my slow night.
Got it. You okay, Jimmy?
He's all right.
He just picked today
to quit the smokes.
Jimmy's quitting smoking?
Yeah. He was being
a real pussy about it.
Like you'd know.
God, I've quit smoking
a hundred times.
- Exactly.
- Exactly.
Hey, Steve, what are you gonna do
once you sell this dump?
- I got a plan.
- Oh, yeah?
Why don't you enlighten us?
Well, a couple of my ideas
I would have to run by a patent office...
before I start shooting off
my mouth.
Wait. You're gonna become an inventor?
What are you gonna invent, Steve?
We're closed!
Is anyone
expecting company?
Wait. Didn't Sadie say
that she'd drop by?
Oh, yeah. Shit.
I thought we were playing cards,
- or what?
- She owes me money.
- Is it her?
- I can't see from here.
Let me borrow your cell phone
for a second, Jess.
Fuck! I must've left it in Teddy's car.
- What's wrong with yours?
- I'm outta credit.
Incoming calls only.
You know, I don't think
it really is her. I think it...
- Are we playing cards or what?
- Okay. Okay! My goodness.
Come on. So tell us
what you're going to invent, Steve.
Burger joints.
Hey.
I hate to piss
on your Cheerios, Steve,
but I think Ronald McDonald
may have beat you to the punch.
Okay.
What's the most fucking
annoying thing in the world?
I'll tell you.
You're out shopping, right?
And you got to take a leak. And the only
place around is a McDonald's.
So you go inside
and some clown says,
"Sorry, man. The restroom's
for customers only".
And you go, "Well, I'm a customer.
I eat here all the time.
I mean, not just now,
but you know".
And the guy goes,
"Yeah, well, that's what everybody says".
And you go, "Look, asshole.
You see this lump of shit? See this?
"I didn't grow this baby grazing
at the fucking salad bar at Vegans R Us.
Let me use the goddamn john".
The guy goes, "You know what?
Take a hike, or I'm gonna call security".
What do you do?
You either punch the guy out
or piss your pants, right?
You show him your
burger facility reward card.
One Big Mac or its equivalent...
say, a Filet-O-Fish and fries...
equals one stamp on your card
equals one complimentary piss.
Supersize it and you get one free
complimentary shit as well.
Yeah, laugh it up, asshole.
But where are you gonna be this time
next year, apart from the fucking morgue?
Whatever, man. I got plans.
Yeah? Like what?
Well, tell me. Like what?
Uh, so the burger facility reward card,
that sounds like an interesting concept.
I'm telling you,
it's got the potential to be huge.
But let me tell you something
about McDonald's.
They pulled that bathroom stunt
on me so many times,
I've taken my business
elsewhere,
- in principal.
- Oh, please, Steve.
I have seen your car, and it is full
of empty McDonald's cartons.
That's why I said "in principle",
brainiac. Of course I still eat there.
They're the only ones
who have the Big Mac.
But inside, I'm no longer
the loyal customer I used to be.
I don't owe them shit. You think
I'm the only one that thinks that way?
Thousands who have strayed
from the path...
because McDonald's was too cheap
to let them use their...
- Hello. Nurse Moore speaking.
- Let me tell you something.
Once the first burger joint takes it on,
they'll all have to take on it.
What is your choice
of pleasure?
- Uh-huh.
- Burger facility reward card.
I guess I'm qualified to do that.
- Ooh.
- Hey.
- What the hell's going on?
- I'm just showing her how to play, man.
- She's never played before.
- Well, don't, man.
There's money on the table,
for Christ's sakes.
Oh, what do
I look like?
- Well, I'm 27.
- In the '80s.
I will beat your ass.
I'm 27,
with long auburn hair...
that people say complements
my milky white complexion.
And underneath my tight,
tight nurse's uniform,
I'm wearing a 40 double-D cup bra.
What happened? Fast shooter?
- Mm-mm. His wife just came in.
- Oh, please.
So, do you ever get a guy...
You ever get him, like, mixed up?
You have some guy call you, and he, um...
he wants you to be a policewoman...
- and wants you to handcuff him?
- Mm-mm. I'm a professional, honey.
Caller I.D. tells me
what I'm supposed to be.
You should run it like 911.
You know,
start a service like...
"For blow jobs, press 1.
"For handjobs, dial 2.
"For back door, press 3.
And for missionary, press 4."
How boring... missionary.
No, seriously. Have you gotten
a guy calling in. He's calling from...
- I don't know, across...
- Ey, Ey, what's with all the questions?
What, are you trying to
compete with her?
There might be a niche in the market
for fat clerks with a doughnut fetish.
Oh, don't get all snippy
'cause you're losing.
Yeah, loser.
Read 'em and weep, guys.
Hey.
Kiss my doughnut hole.
Like this.
Oh, God. Jesus, Steve,
you're disgusting.
I'm disgusting?
You're the one who said you were
gonna blow him when he turned 25.
I said I'd organize his party.
- What?
- And thanks for spoiling the surprise.
All right,
coming around the horn. Jimmy.
Steve.
I need another beer.
Does anyone want anything else
from downstairs?
All right.
- Thanks.
-
Mona Moore
will give you more pleasure.
Oh!
It's Clyde.
I've been a bad girl,
haven't I?
You saw the light
from under the door...
when you were making
your rounds.
You opened the door
and caught me.
That's right.
You caught me stealing
the petty cash.
What, again?
That's the third time this week.
You caught me
fair and square.
No, the guy's
got no imagination.
You're not gonna tell on me,
are you, Clyde?
Mm-hmm.
So, why doesn't the company
check the phone bills or something?
Oh! He's the night guard.
He's got keys to all the departments.
Never uses
the same phone twice.
Please don't tell
on me, Clyde.
There's got to be some way
I can make it up to you.
I.R.S. headquarters.
It's a lot of fucking phones.
Yeah, that's where all our money goes...
funding jerk-off lines.
Mm-hmm.
- Did you hear that?
- I'll do anything, Clyde.
- Who...
- I told you we're closed!
Oh, Clyde, please.
Not the panties as well.
What do you want me
to take my panties off for?
So he can wear 'em
underneath his uniform.
Will you shut the fuck up?
Oh, Clyde.
That didn't sound like
it was coming from the front.
Is that wide enough, Clyde?
Sounded like it was coming
from the side door or something.
Don't worry about it.
This place is locked down.
Oh, no, Clyde, please.
Don't ask me to do that.
Don't make me beg for it.
- What the fuck was that?
- I feel so humiliated.
It's nothing. Play, play.
Okay. I'll say it.
Give it to me, Clyde.
Give it to me now. Yes.
Yes! Oh, Clyde.
You know how I like it.
Oh, yes, Clyde. Oh, yes.
It's just some kids
trashing a car.
Put it
in my dirty mouth.
You wanna hear
what it sounds like, Clyde?
Damn it, Donny. You're as bad as Steve.
Mmm.
Mmm. Mmm. Mmm.
You like that, Clyde?
Are we playing cards
or sucking dicks here?
It's her job, Steve.
Yeah, well, this is my job, but you don't
see me bringing in the customers...
- and giving them blow jobs.
- You're the boss.
Mmm. Mm-mm.
Oh!
Oh! Mmm.
- What the fuck was that?
- I'll check it out.
- Sit down.
- Geez Louise. I'll go, okay? My goodness.
And stay outta that
freezer down there.
Haven't you had enough ice cream
for one night?
Ah, fuck you too.
Please, Clyde,
I'm just a secretary...
trying to earn a living.
I needed the money.
I made a mistake.
Haven't I suffered enough?
Please, Clyde.
Not with the nightstick.
Okay, Clyde. Okay.
You're the boss.
Yeah. I'm doing that.
I'm leaning over the desk.
Yeah. I've got my dress
pulled up real high.
Yeah. I see you
coming at me...
with that big ol' nightstick.
You're coming at me,
and I'm spreading my legs
real wide.
Yeah. I'm still here, Clyde.
Oh, Clyde. Oh, baby.
I know it's wrong.
It's so wrong, but it feels so right.
Ooh! Ooh!
Ooh, I think I'm gonna...
Ooh! Oh my God,
I think I'm gonna...
She's been gone a while.
Stop worrying, will ya?
Shit!
Jimmy. Fucking asshole.
Where the hell are you?
Jimmy, I'm gonna give you
5 fucking minutes! Then I'm outta here!
Fuck! Shit.
What was that?
I don't hear anything.
- Please, Steve, can you just go...
- Donny Doughnut,
haul your ass downstairs
and see what's keeping Money Mona.
Why me?
Because I said so.
And if she's got her head in that freezer
again, tell her I'm gonna kill her.
Mona,
what are you doing?
Mona?
- Is she okay?
- Yeah, she's fine.
Still talking to that Clyde guy.
That guy must have balls
like fucking watermelons, huh?
Hey, Steve, there's something wrong
with that camera.
Yeah, right.
What is with that camera?
A minute ago, it was all out of focus.
Now look at it.
Ah, shitty Chinese junk.
And where's Mona?
Something's not right.
Five minutes ago, the kid saw her
still milking that security guy.
Mona?
You there?
Mona?
Steve, the lights are out
down here!
- What?
- The lights... they're out!
Find the fuse box!
It's in the stockroom
just behind the door!
Thanks, Steve.
Mona?
Where the hell are you?
I swear to God,
if you're gonna jump out at me,
I have pepper spray,
and I'm not afraid to use it.
Holy... Oh, shit!
Oh, Donny!
Oh, God! Jess!
Oh! Oh, I'm sorry.
Oh, you crazy...
What do you mean,
she just got in a cab and left?
Like I told you, some asshole
was blaring his horn.
I look out the window.
I see a cab outside.
Next thing I see is Mona coming out
through the side door,
gets in the cab, cab takes off,
end of fucking story.
You sure it was Mona?
Feeling better?
Who else is it gonna be?
I don't know, but it just doesn't make
very much sense.
I mean, why would she leave
without telling us?
I know. She was out of money.
She wanted back in the game.
Maybe decided to pay this Sadie chick
a visit, you know.
No, no. Wait. Hang on.
You said that we were locked down here.
- How could she have gotten out?
- That bitch took my keys.
- What?
- I remember.
When she got in the cab, I looked
for the keys. The keys were gone.
Wait. None of this
makes any sense.
Did you see any of this?
I'm gonna call her.
- How are you gonna do that?
- Give me your cell phone.
- I don't got one.
- Well, what about the phone downstairs?
Phone company cut me off
months ago.
Jesus Christ, Steve.
Jimmy?
Wasting your time.
No, I know he has one.
I saw him use it earlier.
Not anymore, he doesn't.
Pissed me off earlier.
Tossed it out the window.
Then go get it.
Well, I don't have the fucking keys,
do I?
- So we're locked in here.
- Ah, the blonde finally got it.
You mean we're locked in here and there's
no way of letting anyone know?
Well, now you know why I'm so pissed off
at your stupid fucking bitch friend.
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Take it easy. Take it easy.
- So, how far away is this Sadie?
- I don't know.
A couple of blocks, I guess.
If Mona's gone to get money,
she's gonna come back, yeah?
Let's just play some cards
to pass the time.
Good idea.
Is he okay?
Ah! Fuck!
Hey, dick splash,
we're playing cards.
He doesn't have to play
if he doesn't want to.
You're not even looking
at your fucking cards.
All right,
let's see 'em.
He cleaned me out.
Fuck! Fuck!
- Damn it!
- Ever seen anybody get so pissed off...
after winning
a shitload of money?
Can't say that I have.
Settle down, will you?
- Let's finish the game.
- Just let him be, Steve.
I said let's finish the fucking game!
Oh, geez!
Oh, Christ, Steve,
this place is infested!
It's only a little roach,
you fucking pussy.
The game's over anyway.
We're both outta cash.
I know how you can
make your money back.
Oh, yeah? How?
Strip poker?
Come on.
You can make your money back.
I don't need money
that badly.
No.
N... N... No.
Come on, Jessita. I haven't seen
a decent pair of tits in decades.
Don't hold your breath.
Could you stop eating
those damn doughnuts!
Get 'em off me!
Leave me alone!
Jimmy, there's nothing there!
Man, I don't know what's wrong with him,
freaking out like that.
Maybe it's called
"going cold turkey".
Oh, come on, Steve,
everyone knows.
There's no point
trying to keep it a secret.
It's his mother, you know.
It would kill her.
She would fucking die, you know.
I don't know what to do.
Donny.
I'm just a joke to you.
Look, I'm sorry!
I just don't like to see you
do this to yourself.
Those doughnuts
are gonna kill you.
Yeah? What are those,
vitamins?
I don't know. You just never
stick up for yourself.
I mean, show some fucking
self-respect, for Christ's sake.
"Donny Doughnut".
How long are you gonna let people
keep calling you that?
Oh, God.
What the fuck is your problem?
Look! There on the screen!
Oh, sweet Jesus!
I saw it.
I saw it, and it's down there
in the stockroom.
I saw it!
There's nothing there,
pinche loco cabrn!
What did you see, Jimmy?
King cockroach.
Chichis Christ.
It's not funny!
We need to get him help!
Where the hell is Mona?
Down there in the stockroom.
- King fucking cockroach?
- Yes.
And it was big.
Like a man.
And his face...
Oh. He was all
shiny and black,
with these horrible
bug eyes.
And its mouth...
Oh, God!
Its mouth was just
a slit...
with tiny little roach teeth.
And it was grinning
at me!
Jimmy, you're freaking out.
You're hallucinating!
You didn't see it.
You didn't...
I didn't see it
because there's nothing there.
Look, it's all part
of the withdraw symptoms!
I know what I saw!
It's down there
in the fucking stockroom!
Organizing the others.
Preparing for the attack.
Jimmy, what attack?
Come on, man!
Don't you see what's going on?
They got us trapped
in here!
First they got Mona,
and now they want to get us.
They didn't get Mona, man.
She left in a cab.
Wake up, man!
Mona didn't get in any fucking cab.
Mona's nothing
but roach food.
They got her.
But they're not
gonna get me.
Hey, wait, wait, wait. Where the fuck
do you think you're going?
Hey!
Sit the fuck down,
you fucking pussy.
Stop fucking telling me
what to do!
All my life you've been
pushing me around. "Do this, Jimmy".
"Do that, Jimmy". "Fuck you, Jimmy".
Well, fuck you, you...
- You bullying piece of shit!
- Stop it.
Who the fuck are you
to tell me what to do? Huh?
Jimmy, chill out.
You're not even my dad,
and you've been pushing me
and pushing me,
treating me like a slave
in this fuckin' shit-hole!
Well, don't worry!
I'm gone! Outta here!
Good luck with
the fuckin' roaches!
Steve!
Get out of here!
It's only a roach.
Jesus.
Shoo! Shoo!
Shoo!
Oh, God.
I'm trapped like a rat
in a fucking maze!
Get away from me.
You filthy fucking vermin!
I'm not afraid of you!
Do you know what I do
to filthy little insects like you? Huh?
I squish 'em!
I was only joking.
I wouldn't kill you.
I wouldn't.
Really.
Oh, please.
Please.
I wouldn't do that!
What do you want from me?
Please!
What do you want from me?
Where does he get his balls
to talk to me like that?
23 years I've looked after his sorry ass,
and this is how he repays me?
And now he's wrecking the joint!
Guys, check this out.
God, he's pitchin'
a shit fit.
- I'm going down there.
- You're not going anywhere.
Help me.
I'm not gonna have
any store left.
- What is it?
- I saw someone down there.
I swear to God, I saw somebody
at the deli counter.
- Sure it wasn't Jimmy?
- No, Jess, it wasn't Jimmy.
It was a guy in a black coat
with a thing on his face.
- King cockroach maybe?
- It's not funny.
Are you sure
you saw someone?
Yeah, Jimmy,
and he's wrecking my store.
Oh, yeah? Where is he, Steve?
'Cause he disappeared.
- Just like Mona disappeared.
- Ah, Christ.
- What?
- He's down in the basement.
Steve, please!
Don't go! I'm begging you!
Something bad is gonna happen.
I can just feel it.
Yeah, his mom's gonna kill me
if he breaks his crazy neck.
Steve, man, come on.
Don't go down...
You're gonna go down there
without anything?
Don't you have a gun
or something?
With a nut-job like Jimmy
on the premises? Give me a break!
Happy now? If you wanna
do something, look at the monitors,
and if you see
anything, yell.
Steve!
Christ, Jimmy.
There.
By the deli counter.
- What is it?
- I don't know.
Here, see if you can get it
up on the full screen.
I'll try.
Okay, zoom in on that.
- Donny...
- Uh... It's my first time.
There's nothing there anyway.
Jimmy, that you?
- What?
- The meat slicer... it's gone.
- Steve, get up here now!
- Why? What is it?
Someone's just taken
the meat slicer!
Take it easy. It's just Jimmy
trying to creep me out.
Asshole left a trail of ketchup
leading down to the basement...
trying to make it look
like blood, the dickhead.
Steve, come on!
He used to pull this shit,
all the time when he was a kid...
I'll be right back, okay?
Keep watching the monitors.
Fuck, Jimmy!
Jimmy.
Jimmy! You down there?
Ooh, he must have passed out,
all the blood he lost.
Can't you get the camera
to follow him?
That's what I'm trying to do.
Hmm. Looks like
we're having a party.
Asshole.
Ooh, Jimmy!
I'm so scared.
My asshole
is so puckering.
Spooky, spooky!
I see you, shithead.
Right behind the packing cases.
I followed your trail
of ketchup, dickhead!
So,
wh... what do they
call you?
Jerky Face?
Or, uh... maybe just
Jerk-off for short?
Hey, you can stop
clowning around now, okay?
I was just trying
to be a dad.
It's still no good.
Try the button on the left.
Oh, my God!
- What the f...
- No.
Please.
You don't have to do this!
Please! Please!
Please.
You don't have to do this.
Please.
Let me go!
You fucking creep!
Let me go!
No! Oh! Oh!
Leave him alone, you fucking bastard!
Leave him alone!
You fucking asshole.
No! No! No! No!
Look what he did to him!
Look at what he fucking did to him!
Okay. The basement door has a dead bolt!
We can lock him in there!
We can lock... Okay. Holy shit.
Donny, come on!
Shit!
Help!
Somebody help us!
Help! Help!
- We're being attacked!
- Help, please!
What do we do now?
- We're trapped in here.
- Wait.
Who's usually the first person
in here in the morning?
Morty. Morty. He drops off
the papers around 5:30.
We're just gonna have to
hold out till then.
Somebody fucking help us!
The killer is in here!
Fucking help!
No one's coming.
We're on our own.
- Wait. Let's find a weapon.
- Okay.
Oh, my God,
we're gonna fucking die!
We're gonna fucking die!
We're gonna fucking die!
For Christ's sake!
Donny, we're not dead yet!
Oh, my God.
I see what he's doing.
He's killing us in the ways
that we said we'd kill him.
Oh, my God.
Come on, come on.
I see it. It's in her hand.
Oh, my God.
- She's fucking frozen solid.
- The battery's dying.
God, she's gotta have the keys on her
somewhere. Come on.
Hello? Clyde!
Listen to me.
This battery's about to die.
No, listen. We're trapped in a shop
with a killer, and...
No, this isn't Mona!
What do you mean,
I've got a cool style?
This isn't some jerk-off line,
you fucking moron!
There's nothing. No keys. Jimmy...
Jimmy's got the keys! I'll be back.
No, Mona's dead.
And we're gonna be dead too unless
you stop asking these stupid fucking...
Are you whacking off?
- 911. What's your...
- Hello? Hello?
Fuck!
Jess, I found them.
Donny, run! Upstairs!
Help!
Can somebody hear me?
Somebody
fucking help us!
Hide. Hide.
Oh, shit!
Go, go, go, go, go, go!
- Shit! He's coming.
- Fuck, fuck.
What?
- Now what?
- Shh.
Do you think he's gone?
I don't know. I don't know.
I didn't see him...
I didn't see him
go right downstairs.
I didn't hear him
go back downstairs.
Do you think it's safe
to open the door a little?
Jess, listen.
I'm sorry
I got you into this.
It's okay, Donny.
Don't...
It's not your fault.
We'll get out of this.
What was that?
Wait, you heard that, right?
Was it him?
It sounded like it was coming
from downstairs.
It sounded like
a truck pulling up.
It must be Morty.
What do you think he's gonna do
when he sees the store's closed?
Did you call the police?
Jess, Jess, don't...
Jess, don't, don't!
- Don't...
- Donny, just stay here.
Steve!
Steve, you drunken bum, wake up!
Come on! It's time to open up!
- Morty!
- Well.
I see Steve put his wallet
where his mouth is. I like that.
We were attacked last night.
- It was that serial killer.
- What?
Jess, if this is some kinda joke...
- or something...
- It's not a joke!
Jimmy and Steve and Mona
are dead.
What? Are you kidding me?
He's downstairs!
Call the cops now!
Okay, okay.
Give these to them.
Tell them Donny and I
are trapped upstairs.
- You sure he's still downstairs?
- Yes!
And this is the guy with the 1/2-a-million
dollar reward on his head?
- Morty, just get the fucking police!
- One second.
- One second.
- Morty!
He's in the basement. He's got
some sort of power tools going on...
- down there.
- Oh, no. Don't you even think about it!
If he's in the basement,
I can lock him in!
Are you crazy?
Listen to me!
Jess, I could really
use that reward.
What's going on?
He's after a piece
of that reward money.
What?
He thinks that he can
lock him in the basement.
- There's no door!
- Exactly.
Jess, listen, if he wants to be a hero,
it's his funeral, okay?
Jess, we are safe here.
- Yeah, we're safe, but what about Morty?
- Jess, please.
There's a killer down there!
Jess, we have to think
about ourselves.
Jesus, Donny,
we should help him!
Wait... Jess, wait.
Fuck! Fuck.
Jesus! Jess!
You scared the hell out of me!
What the hell are you doing?
He's down there!
I hear him walking around!
Are you sure?
One hundred percent.
Look, let's put some boxes here
and pen him in.
Yeah.
We got the fucker.
Now I wonder half a million bucks
split 3 ways is gonna be?
We got him!
Donny, we got him!
- Jess, it's Morty!
- What?
Cleanup on aisle three.
Come on.
Is he dead?
I don't know.
Let's hurry.
Donny!
Donny! No! Get up!
You can't do this to me now!
Mmm.
I almost won me a goldfish.
Donny Doughnut.
Look at you, huh?
I knew those doughnuts
were gonna be the death of you.
Let me go.
Let me go. Let me go.
Donny.
Donny Doughnut.
Where's Jess?
Where's Jess,
you sick fuck?
Watch the language
there, Doughnut.
She's right behind you.
You didn't have to kill her,
you sick fuck!
You didn't have to kill her!
Sick?
I'm sick?
No, everything I did tonight to them...
is what they said they were gonna do
to me if they caught me.
But I have the "get up and go"
to get it done.
Hmm?
You're a fuckin' lunatic!
You're a fuckin' lunatic!
I'm a lunatic?
For 25 years, I've been hauling
shit around here.
For 25 years, I've been listening
to losers like yourself...
talk about how you're
gonna be big shots.
About your dreams.
You know what?
I thought about my dreams.
Yeah, what about me?
This little voice in my head...
It said,
"What do you wanna do?
What were you born to do?"
- You're a twisted fuck, you know that?
- Hmm? Twisted?
Hmm. The difference
between you and me, Donny boy,
is that I have a work ethic.
So,
Donny Doughnut.
Hmm.
What am I gonna do with you?
Hmm?
I've been thinking about this.
How am I gonna...
finish you off?
No, wait. Wait!
Wait, wait, wait,
w... w... wait.
Wait? Wait?
Wait, wait, wait?
No. There's no waiting.
I'm behind schedule
as it is.
If you kill me,
you'll never get what you came for.
Really?
And what is it
that I came here for?
You watch it, don't you?
On tape, after.
You'll never find 'em
'cause he hides 'em...
all of 'em.
- You're lying.
- Yeah?
Why would I lie
at a time like this?
It's no fun if you can't watch
the instant replay, right?
What I wanna know...
where the hell all these fuckers learned
to get so creative, huh?
I know. There's gotta be some kinda
serial killer university...
- they're not telling us about.
- And what they did to that store owner...
Gross, man. Damn!
Hey, that's nothing compared to
what I would do to that son of a bitch...
- if he ever got into my store.
- Yeah.
Oh, yeah?
What do you have in mind?
Don't hate the game
Don't hate the player
Better watch your mouth
'cause what you say might kill ya
Some want the fame
I have no shame
I'm just justified
for takin' lives
So please forgive me
I know the place
the day, the time
Get ready for
your demise
I listen to
every word you say
The time is near
and I'm ready to play
Don't hate the game
Don't hate the player
Better watch your mouth
'cause what you say might kill ya
Some want the fame
I have no shame
I'm just justified
for takin' lives
So please forgive me
Hold it together, man
You're falling apart
You must be nervous
'cause I see your heart
Makes no difference
why you're feeling this way
Look in my eyes
See I'm goin' insane
So let's play
Who is ready for the game
Keep your head up high
It's your turn, don't cry
Oh, who's ready to die
Now I'm comin' for you
I know exactly what to do
So tell me how you want it
Don't hate the game
Don't hate the player
Better watch your mouth
'cause what you say might kill ya
Some want the fame
I have no shame
I'm just justified
for takin' lives
So please forgive me