Creedmoria (2016) Movie Script
1
- 911 what's your emergency?
- They're coming, hurry.
- Hello?
- They're gonna kill me.
Just tell me where you are.
- You're gonna be too late.
- Miss, tell me your address.
Oh, my God, no.
He's got a knife.
Miss,
your address?
We're sending someone right
over.
23324 Ford Avenue.
Please, no please.
- Please, no.
- Candy, Sean!
Thank you very much.
Get me out of here.
How's it coming?
Almost there.
It's about time you made it.
I got held up at work.
How's Creedmoor?
No time for stories,
the guests are waiting.
- Here, hun.
- I'll go change.
There's no time.
Your uniform is fine.
But Ma', they'll think I'm
hired help.
All the better.
Victory dance.
What were you
and your brother doing?
Nothin'.
Well do something.
Here, serve.
And don't forget the frilly
toothpicks.
They're at my house!
How's your drink holdin' up
Harv?
Oh you could hit me again.
Oh, I don't remember
hittin' you the first time.
Here you go honey.
Aren't the cops at your house?
Yeah, so?
I didn't do nothin'.
FHB.
Where's your brother?
I don't know.
Find him.
Oh no, the retards are comin.
The retards are coming.
Why are they coming out?
They are supposed to be locked
up forever.
Our dad says the normal
ones are given day passes.
They're not normal.
Neither are you!
Hey, stop!
Stop it!
Get off him!
Stop it!
- Get off him!
- Aw look, look Danny.
Your big sister's here to
Get off him.
- the rescue.
- Get off him!
What are you doing?
Get outa here.
You're looking pretty today,
Candy.
Thanks for coming by.
I don't want that.
If you don't clean
it, it's gonna get infected.
- Give me that.
- Hey, hey!
Thank you Marie.
Oh, no, thank you.
Ow!
- Cuddles!
- I'm bleeding!
Come here you dumb hound dog.
You're okay, just a nip.
What did you do?
Candy.
What's going on out here?
Sean, take him for a long walk.
He just bit Mrs. Jenkins again.
It's her own fault.
Who sits at a party?
If she'd just get off her ass
and mingle this never woulda
happened.
Where's your brother?
I don't know.
What happened to your dress?
God damn it, Candy, go get
cleaned up.
And don't let anyone see you
either.
You're an embarrassment.
Why can't you be more like Sean?
Have you ever seen him dirty,
even once?
Sean, walk the dog.
Cuddles.
Nice Cuddles, that's a good boy.
Ow, Cuddles!
Cuddles, come on, cuddles,
cuddles!
We don't have enough.
There's 25.
It's bad luck, we need 26.
What's taking so long?
Oh no, no, no, no, no.
You get out of here
mister and give me that.
But Ma' FHB's over.
You missed the whole
party so you get nothing.
Marie, make sure your
brother gets out of here.
I'll go get Daddy, hurry it up.
Gross, Danny!
Real nice.
Twice in a month Ernie?
I won't pay for it.
If you can't fix it I'm
taking it to the Muffler King
and I'm sending you the bill.
What's wrong with her, Dad?
Oh, I thought
it was this valve here.
Not the car, the lady.
Oh, she's just a little
crankity today.
Do me a favor, start her up for
me.
Can you save her?
Why bother?
I'm gonna do my best.
I know you can Daddy.
It's the stinkin' best day...
Ernie's.
Oh hi hun.
Right now?
At least another hour.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Was that Mom?
Yeah she's a little nervous
about
this trip we're taking next
week.
You'd think we were going away
for a year.
She needs breadcrumbs.
We'll go.
I thought we were going to the
park?
Hey.
Stinkin' best day ever.
One o'clock, 55 degrees,
windy.
- Hi Rainy.
- Two o'clock,
big, big storm coming.
Big storm is coming.
Big storm coming.
Big, big storm coming.
Big storm coming.
Here.
You gotta wait your turn,
Rainy.
Here, here!
Pay at the register, Rainy.
Open register, stupid cyclone.
You know he had a car accident
during a real bad storm?
That's why he talks like that.
You don't say.
Yeah, he was a brilliant med
student before his accident.
He was way smarter than you, me,
and everyone in this place
combined.
I did not know.
I didn't think you did.
Now you do.
Is that true, about Rainy?
That's what Marie
said.
Oh great.
Get to drive in that heap while
someone else drive's high as he
can.
Look at you,
you drive around all night
and creep back here in the
morning.
Huh, is that what you're
thinking?
Can you let me talk?
No way in hell
are you staying here.
One more move like that
and you're out on your ass.
You hear me?
Your father is gonna set you
straight!
- I'm not dumb.
- Get yourself cleaned up.
Look at your nails.
Ma's gonna kill you.
Ut oh.
Help.
Cuddles, cuddles!
Cuddles, go lay down.
Cuddles!
Cuddles!
Sean, Candy,
you're gonna miss the bus.
Cuddles!
Hey!
Leave him alone.
Try some Listerine, Cahill.
Better yet, Mr. Clean.
Go Ang, it's all you.
Oh, my God.
Don't, don't, don't.
Miss?
Talk to
me ma'am.
Choking me, I'm dying.
Help is on the way, Miss.
I'm dying.
Stay on
the line, help is on the way.
What?
Be all that you can be, in the
Army
I think he's on drugs again.
I'm gonna be all that
I can be in the Army.
Army, Army, Army!
Ow, shit.
Victory dance.
They're home.
Danny they're home.
- They're home!
- Ow, shit.
- Danny!
- Danny!
What are you kids
doing up?
Where's your brother?
What are you doing with that?
Nothing.
We thought we'd clean the
house before you came home.
So, did you?
Not yet.
Go to bed.
Good night.
Good night.
You want some tea?
Sure.
Sean, where's the salad?
Why are you sitting?
I thought dinner was ready.
And you can't help
bring it in?
Of course I can help bring it
in.
Forget it, sit down, sit down.
Take your hat off at my table.
Ta-da!
Sean, what do you call that?
Salad ala Sean.
Marie!
Is she back yet?
Candy, let's go.
Yum!
It's the SBDE.
I couldn't find him Ma'.
Oh did you even look?
He's probably still at the ball
field.
Ma', your tag's still on.
No kidding.
If it makes it through
this meatloaf I'll keep it.
If not, it goes back.
Is that vegetarian?
Yes, Sean, that's why
it's called meatloaf.
I'm a vegetarian.
You're nothing of the kind.
Let's pray.
In the of the Father, and the
Son,
and the Holy mother of God,
what are you doing to my rug?
I got the winning run.
You shoulda seen how far I hit
it.
Your mother makes this
beautiful meal
and you just trot in here
whenever you want to?
- Sit down.
- Get outa here
with those things.
Okay well what is it,
outa here or sit down?
- Get outa here.
- Sit down.
All right, just sit down,
and take that hat off
at your mother's table.
Damn it Daniel.
- What did I do?
- Can we please have one meal
where everything doesn't get
ruined.
Seany.
Stop poking me.
- Danny.
- Marie.
Tell him to stop.
That's all I get?
We didn't say grace.
What?
Yup, it's the Anderson's
house.
Again?
That's the third time this week.
Probably another prank call.
Probably a
Creedmorian.
Leave the poor Creedmorian's
out of his.
Now sit down, all of you.
I wanna eat and pray before
all of this gets ruined.
Dear Lord.
Oh, Dear Jesus.
Oh, Danny!
It wasn't me.
Cuddles!
Who's been feeding him chicken
again?
Oh could we just pray
God damn it, please?
Pray he stops farting.
Dear Lord, please bless
this food and this day
and bless our neighbors, the
Andersons,
there is something seriously
wrong with that family.
Down by the banks of the
Creedmoria
With the Candy and the Seany
and the Scott for dinner
With a hip, hop, can record
your pop
Happy Creedmorial Day.
Happy Creedmorial Day, Rainy.
Got a cigarette?
Got a cigarette?
- Happy Creedmorial Day!
- Happy Creedmorial Day!
This is stupid.
They have no idea it's a special
day.
Doesn't mean we shouldn't
celebrate it.
- Happy Creedmorial Day!
- Happy Creedmorial Day!
It's the mental parade.
Who's your friends Cahill?
None ya.
What's none ya?
None ya business.
Maybe one of your
friends want a sparkler.
I don't think so, you
should keep walking.
No, no, wait, wait,
wait, here this is for you.
Hey, hey you kids.
What are you doing
tormenting these poor people?
It's Creedmorial Day.
Are you mocking me?
No.
The last thing I need is
nosy Mr. Fertelli telling me
my kids are torturing
the poor Creedmorians.
It wasn't us, it was the
bullies.
So you're calling Mr. Fertelli
a liar?
- Yes.
- They our friends, Ma'.
The bullies?
No, the Creedmorians.
They're nothing of the kind.
They are special people and
they are to be left alone.
Ernest.
You heard your
mother.
Yes.
Our cruise is next
week and it would be nice
if we didn't have to worry
about each and every one of you.
- Mr. Cahill, Mr. Cahill!
- What is that?
What are you doing
Scotty?
Danny's hurt, come quick.
Jimmy's already called an
ambulance.
Ambulance?
He's at the ball field,
he got hit by a ball.
God damn it.
Get out of the car, now, go.
You and your brother, go!
Jesus Christ.
Ernest.
The Army ain't gonna take
him without his hearing.
I can't have him living at
home, Ernie, I just can't.
Don't worry
hun, he'll be all right.
We'll all be all right.
Why is it called
cauliflower ear?
Because that's what it looks
like when
your ear gets blown up from the
inside.
So if your
folks leave on the fifth,
that means we can decorate that
night.
That's what I was thinking.
I'll grab some sheets on my
next shift for the togas.
Are they back yet?
What are you doing?
It's not funny, he could lose
his hearing.
Did Ma' say anything about
canceling their trip?
Why?
No reason.
Let's make the invites.
Toga, toga, toga.
Hi, Daddy.
What are you doing awake?
Can I go with you to see Danny
tomorrow?
You have school.
After?
Well your mother thinks that
it's best
if he's left alone, you
know, to get better.
Okay?
Now go to sleep.
Hey, Daddy.
Is tomorrow gonna be a good day?
Are you kidding?
Stinkin' best day ever.
I love Bayside in the spring
time.
Hi, Cuddles.
Fairytales can come true
I love it.
What's wrong with her, Dad?
Aside from the owner?
Whatever's wrong, take
your time fixin' it.
What are you doing?
Oh, you know your mother.
She likes everything extra
tidy before we go away.
Angela, hi.
We just came back from visiting
Danny.
I thought I'd see you there.
Yes, well, you can't spend
every waking
minute of the day in a hospital.
We heard he'd never
hear in that ear again.
Is that true?
Only a constant ringing.
I guess we should be
thankful that's all he lost.
When's he coming home?
Let's hope not for a while.
Mrs. Cahill, I...
Speak up!
It was me who hit that ball.
Accidents happen, Dave.
Danny has a way of always being
in the wrong place at the wrong
time.
But I was hitting balls
where I shouldn't have,
and it's my fault he's deaf now.
- Daddy!
- Daddy!
- Daddy!
- Daddy!
- Daddy!
- Wake up!
Ernest, Ernest!
- Daddy!
- Call 911!
911, what's your emergency?
Please, come quick.
My father's on the ground not
movin'.
Please hurry.
Tell me your address.
23324 Ford Avenue, come now.
Wait!
I gave you the wrong address.
I gave him the wrong address!
Ernie!
Ernie, wake up!
Only two at a time, please.
Danny.
Danny.
Daniel.
Are you with it enough to hear
me?
Dad died.
Did I ask you to speak for me?
Your father died.
He's dead.
And you did it.
- Ma'.
- That's it, let's go.
- But, we...
- There's no buts, I said go.
Your sister will come get you
tomorrow.
You're stuck here.
So think about what you've done.
It's actually really good.
Yeah, great, just like I
was telling you, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Candy sounded so different.
We should go, I mean, that's
awful.
That's it.
Yeah, definitely.
Very, very.
Seriously?
I had a sister that went deaf
and she turned out all right.
You think you're gonna sue?
It was an accident.
Thanks for coming.
It was an accident.
Tasty beverage from
the tasty beverage man.
Thank you.
You're always right there.
Why does everybody talk so
much?
'Cause they don't know what to
say.
Toga, toga, toga, toga,
toga, toga, toga, toga, toga,
toga, toga.
Who died?
Angela, she looks more
and more like you everyday.
Oh she hates to hear that.
No I don't.
Scott just heard from
St. John's, he got it.
How 'bout you Candy?
Queensboro, like Marie.
You will make a wonderful
nurse.
Except I hate hospitals.
I saw your brother the other
day.
It looked like he was wearing
makeup.
This isn't Holy Immaculate,
you gotta tougher here.
This place will eat
someone like you alive.
What do you mean someone like
me?
Just listen to me and toughen
up.
That door is for the leather
heads.
You enter it, they'll kick your
ass.
What is this 1950?
You can't segregate me
because I'm not a Neanderthal.
They can and they will.
That door is for the rest of us.
Oh and do yourself a favor,
don't talk to any nerds, got it?
Not one nerd.
Billy Fenton.
I'll never get his attention.
Oh please, why do you always
go
for these cavemen in leather
anyway?
Look at my options, Seany.
This is a dress.
Everybody else is wearing pants.
I hear she's getting four
bucks an hour.
What?
She just started.
She don't have to work the
grill.
- Or the mic.
- Or the window.
Shit, that ain't right.
Hey.
I'm docking you $15 from your
first paycheck for the dress.
Didn't anyone ever tell you
it's not polite to stare at the
retards.
They come to Burger Barn?
For the free refills.
With a face like that you
should be in the movies.
Horror movie.
They don't come here for the
refills.
They come here because the
day that Creedmoor gave 'em
their day passes, they were told
they'd
go as far as the Burger Barn.
If they'd have told em Dunkin
Donuts across the street,
they'd of wound up there.
This is it for them.
They don't even know there
exists
a whole world outside of Burger
Barn.
Danny the whole neighborhood
can hear!
I can't.
- Oh great, just look at you.
- What Ma'?
- You need help.
- I can't hear you,
I can't hear you.
Stop feeling sorry for
yourself.
Who's feeling sorry, you try
living with
this noise in your head.
It was too loud, Danny.
You could hear it down the
block.
What are you guys even doing
here?
Don't you have my Dad's shop to
run?
We took your mom food
shopping.
Shopping.
Suppers.
He left looking like that?
In broad daylight?
When you were at work
last night,
I deep fried tofu balls
and told mom they were chicken
croquets.
No way, she let you buy tofu?
No, I used my confirmation
money.
What?
I'm frugal.
Hey faggot, where are your
pompoms?
They're up your ass.
Look who it is.
Your knight in shining Armor
All.
Hello, again.
Is that your dog?
United States Marine Corp.
My brother was gonna join the
service.
Oh, watch out, runaway tomato.
Thanks, the one I wanted.
Oh!
I'm so sorry.
Don't worry, I got it.
Hostess, I need you at the
window.
Hello.
Hi, welcome to Burger
Barn, can I take your order?
Yeah, let me
get three blow jobs.
And a side order of
cunnilingus.
Will you need extra napkins
with that?
With what?
You're funny.
Can we get free fries?
And burgers.
We got the munchies.
Hey we're going to a
party, you wanna come?
I'm workin'.
Yeah I can see that,
givin' free shit away.
You ain't to good at your job,
huh?
Yeah, I guess not.
Hello?
I can't.
Why, your boyfriend pickin'
you up?
Hello, I'd like to order
here.
Later glamorous.
Hello?
Harvey, what are you...
The bowling team wanted
to make one last plea.
We're getting clobbered Angie.
Get off of there.
Kids at school?
Yup, just the two of us.
Coffee?
Hey glamorous.
Ready to roll?
I gotta go home.
I'll drive ya.
This is my brother, Sean.
I'll walk.
He'll walk.
Your brother's a cheerleader?
No, why?
'Cause they're all queers.
Where's your girlfriend?
I don't have a girlfriend.
What about Donna?
What about her?
Don't you wanna know where I
live?
I wanna know everything about
you.
But, I already know where you
live.
Strong lungs, huh?
So?
Don't get worried.
I'm making a big circle, we're
just gonna take a nice drive,
you know, it's nice out.
Yeah.
I figured we'd take a drive.
You'll be home for dinner.
It's our time in the day.
No reason to rush.
I don't mind.
What are you doin'?
What you got under there
sweetheart?
A hell of a lot more than you
do.
That guy's my brother-in-law.
What the fuck is that,
your grandmother's car?
On green I'm goin' for it.
- Billy!
- Let's go, chief.
How much longer?
I'm gonna be late for dinner
already.
I don't know
Hey!
Yeah you better keep movin'.
You got money for a bus, hun?
No, do you?
No.
I'm not gonna be able to
fix this in like 10 minutes.
All right I don't know...
I think I know what's wrong
with it.
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
hold on there glamorous.
My dad used to be...
Hold on glamorous.
Why don't we do this, okay?
Just go down like two or three
blocks,
and hang a left for like half a
mile.
All right and you'll be, let me
just.
Just gonna go get my
books.
Okay.
Hold on a sec.
Don't talk to any guys but me,
okay?
Bye.
How's it been?
Dramatic, as always.
Is your sister back?
Sean, go get the rest of the
groceries.
And take the dog with you.
Come on, Cuddles.
Cuddles, come on.
Here Ma', came to $63.
She mad?
What do you think?
Is that what you
want?
You want to have a mother
who lays around all day
and just lets herself get fat
and gross.
- Is that what you want?
- Who shut it off?
Ma' did.
She just wasted a whole pot.
God damn bitch.
Danny!
What Marie?
You have a life, what
are you even doing here?
Thanks for helping.
Don't worry I got it.
Still worth it.
Still the SBDE.
You talk to any guys today?
What do you mean?
I mean guys, men.
I gotta protect my girl.
You're my girl, right?
Yeah, okay.
I gotta go.
Thanks for the lift.
Thank you for the
lift.
Tell me some stories, Candy.
Your liberation, libation,
hedonism.
What do you mean?
You know, did you ever cut
out school to go surfing?
Have you climbed to the top of
Creedmoore
and count the space between the
stars?
I don't smoke.
That's what you think.
Stay away from him, Cahill.
Yeah, Cahill.
Who?
Oh please, I saw you all
over him in that parking lot.
Um, he was all over me.
Can we get free fries?
Not now, idiot.
I ain't playing', Cahill.
My boot, your face.
Yeah, Cahill.
Your boot and her face.
It's all right guys.
Get in.
Get in.
Might be better if I take the
bus.
Get in, glamorous, I got you a
present.
I don't want any trouble,
Billy.
You're gonna love it.
She just seems a little
unstable to me.
You talk to any guys today?
No, just my soc teacher.
Figures, that fuckin'
cocksucker.
All right, you ready?
To fight her?
For your fuckin' present
babe, check it out.
You wrote my name in your arm?
Wrote on?
It's a tat, it's permanent.
Ow, Billy!
Hey you're my girl, right?
Now you know how I feel.
You coulda bought me a card.
What, it hurts?
Lovin' you is gonna give me
cancer.
You love me?
Baby, I love you too.
I was thinkin' after graduation
we should get married.
Married?
If I graduate, you know,
I might just get my GED.
How about first you talk to
Donna and get her off my case.
She seriously scares me, Billy.
Nah, she's just jealous.
You got nothin' to be scared of,
babe.
Christ.
Mr. Fertelli just called.
It seems your no good brother
was seen stumblin' around
the streets of Jamaica.
Shit.
Ma, this is Billy.
He's got your name on his arm.
You like it?
Wait, what?
We're going to get him?
He's gettin' in this car?
Yeah.
Man, I just Armor All'd these
seats.
Drive.
God damn it.
Fuckin' pigs.
Probably roughed him up real
good.
Don't say that.
He's in enough pain as it is.
Nice wheels, Ma.
Don't you dare talk, Daniel.
God damn it, sober up.
Wipe that shit off your face.
Candy, Sean!
Hey.
Get in.
Are you going to work today?
Yup.
For Joey and my Dad's shop,
don't you see something
wrong with that picture?
The day you prove yourself
responsible
you'll get more responsibility.
Now, go.
You want breakfast you
shoulda got up earlier.
The shit you put me through.
You straighten up or you ship
out, Danny.
God damn it!
Damn yourself.
There you go.
And I got your favorite.
Gherkins.
Really, he'll be gone in a
minute.
He's just grabbin' something for
work.
Work?
You said he lived in Jersey.
Please, Harv, you don't have
to leave.
I gotta go.
Please, Harv.
Harvey.
I gotta go.
Forgot my uniform.
The neighbor just
called.
Says your drunk brother was seen
stumblin'
around the streets of Hollace.
What you're not comin'?
Take your brother.
The keys are in the canister.
But I don't have my license.
God damn it, can't anybody
ever do what they're told?
How much more can I take, huh?
How much?
I don't even know where
Hollace is.
You?
Wanna get some donuts?
I bought a father's day card.
For Joey?
For Dad.
Dad's dead.
I know.
Guess I'll give it to Joey.
Think you'll ever have kids?
Someday sure, why not.
How?
I mean with a woman or adopted
or?
What are you asking?
I don't know, what am I
asking?
I ain't asking nothin', forget
it.
It's just you're different.
You've always been a great
dancer.
You don't do the white
man over bad or nothing.
Dad was a great dancer.
You like Cher and Bette
Midler.
Who doesn't?
You don't eat meat.
What are you doing, Candy?
Seany.
Yes, I'll most likely adopt.
Happy now?
How long have you known?
Since forever.
How come you never said
nothin'.
God.
Always thought for sure it'd be
Danny,
extreme with all the
makeup and everything.
Candy.
Sorry.
I wore mine in private.
You gonna tell mom?
Yeah, sure.
Hi mom, I'm gay.
Please add that to your long
list
of tragedies and embarrassments.
I'm jealous.
Of what?
That I'm gay?
That you're different.
You can do anything you wanna
do.
Me, I'm just like everybody
else.
My whole life's already
planned out for me.
What?
You being a nurse?
You ain't gonna be no nurse.
Of course I am.
Please, Candy, you'd be the
worst nurse on the planet.
Nurse, nurse, I'm sick, I'm
dying.
Doctor says I have only two days
to live.
Yeah and this is the
stinkin' best day ever.
I'd be a great nurse.
You'd suck.
You're a freak, you'd make
people sicker.
You think I'm a freak?
Hello?
You're happy all the time.
That just ain't normal.
A real freak?
- Wait.
- Got him?
How much did you hear?
I can't hear, remember?
He didn't hear nothin'.
Here have some coffee.
Ma' is having an affair
with Mr. Quinn from bowling.
She is not.
Ew, gross.
Mom has better taste than that.
Ma' is not having an affair.
She's still mourning for Christs
sake.
Suit yourself.
You're crazy.
You're drunk.
And you're a homo, and you're
a freak.
Great.
Aw!
Gross.
Consider it your coming out
present.
Yes, how very sheik.
Maybe she's not that
tough.
Maybe I can take her.
Yeah right.
That girl can take you and
me both with her eyes closed.
Thanks for the vote
of confidence, Seany.
Sorry.
You're just not a fighter.
Where's that tattoo'd caveman
anyway?
Workin' on his car I think.
Figures.
Where you going Cahill.
Told you this would be the day.
Yeah, Cahill, ready to die?
Who's gonna save you now?
Yeah, who's gonna save you
now?
Your sister?
Leave him out of this.
Yeah why, what you gonna do?
You too, choir boy.
Stay away from Billy.
Fine, you can have him.
Well.
You showed 'em.
How long do you have to
wait to break up with a guy
who just tattoo'd your name on
his arm?
You can't.
I think the rule is marriage.
Yeah, marriage then little cave
babies.
Keep goin'.
Keep goin'.
You can do it.
Wait.
Now you can kiss me.
Christ, what's with you
people?
I swear, I think she's
crackin', Candy.
I woke up and found her
staring out my window.
I think I'm goin' crazy.
Tell me I'm going crazy and
seeing things.
What is it Ma'?
There in the tree.
Do you see?
Who, Dad?
Your brother.
I heard a noise from the tree,
I thought it was a
squirrel and I looked up
and I swear I see him there.
No Ma', there's no one in the
tree.
There, right there.
See, those aren't his legs?
I don't see nothin'.
I'm goin' crazy.
Whoa.
What?
God damn it, Candy, I got no
clothes on.
Danny?
Really Ma' go inside.
Oh my God, he's gonna
kill himself up there.
Danny, get down.
Seany get rid of Cuddles.
Shh, don't wake the whole
god damn neighborhood,
that's all we need.
Come on, bud.
Danny, come down.
You're scarin' Ma'.
Oh, my God, is he naked?
You need help, Daniel.
Ma' go inside, we'll get him
down.
Seany for Christ sakes just grab
him.
Oh, oh God.
He's fine, he's fine.
Ma', go in.
Is that a belt?
Oh, my God.
Don't worry Mrs. C, he
can't nothing with that.
Look how short it is.
Real sensitive.
You want sensitive, date a
nerd.
I'm calling the police.
No, Ma' you're gonna call the
cops?
I am done with him.
Before he kills me, I am done.
Danny, get down, Ma's calling
the cops.
Come on, Cuddles.
- Danny!
- He's gonna fall.
Shit, nice aim.
Cuddles.
Oh, my God, Cuddles.
He don't look so good.
What, what, what
happened?
Don't tell me.
Oh, my God.
You killed him.
Oh, my God, Cuddles.
That looks like
Angie's kid.
Well someone's gotta find him.
Send Joey out if you don't
wanna.
Because we've been through
enough already.
Damn it.
Your brother's here.
Harv, Mr. Quinn is bringing him.
Tell him I'm too upset to come
down.
What am I supposed to say?
Anything, just get rid of him.
Hi Candy...
My Mom's upstairs mourning.
Our dog just died.
Oh, poor thing.
How did it happen?
He killed him.
You shoulda been there man.
He came down out of the
tree like , splat.
Tell your mother we found
him on Hillside Avenue.
Do you want your coat
back?
I'll get it another time.
Just let him sleep it off.
He's gonna have one hell of
a headache when he wakes up.
Hope he never does.
Tell your mother we're sorry
and to call us if she needs
anything.
Hi, Candy.
Graduation's coming.
Anyone special taking you to the
prom?
Yeah, special ed.
Oh Ed, that's nice.
I feel like you've been
avoiding me.
Your coat's been waiting
for you to come and get it.
I don't think this is the
place.
He won't be in our way any
longer.
Angela, he's your son.
He was never in the way.
Hi, Angie, how's Danny?
I was just tellin'
Harvey, he's doing great.
He's got a job and his own place
now.
Oh, that's so wonderful.
Yeah, he's livin' out is
Maspeth.
That far?
I know, we don't get to see as
much
as we'd like to of him anymore.
We have to go.
Okay, bye.
Here, go to grandma.
Where'd you get the love bite?
Do people call you Candy
'cause you're so sweet?
'Cause I imagine you
could give a guy cavities.
My dad named me after his Mom.
Who's your friend?
It's a customer, Billy.
What's happenin' bro?
You see that?
She's with me.
You see that?
United States Marines.
- Billy.
- Why you still here, man?
Guys, please.
I don't think you
wanna mess with me, man.
But for Candy's sake, I'll go
over there.
Why does he know your name?
I thought you didn't talk to any
guys.
Are you serious?
I got your name on my arm,
how much more serious could I
get, okay?
Look, when I love something,
I protect it, okay?
You're my most precious
property.
Property?
Do you want him?
- What's goin' on here?
- Huh?
I asked you a question,
hostess.
What are you doing,
get the fuck off her.
Excuse me?
I said, get off, man.
Hey.
Candy you all right?
Hey!
Hey, fuck you, man.
Hello?
Hello?
You look like death.
I almost lost my job today.
Please, ain't like it's
rocket science, all right?
Those burger joints are a dime a
dozen.
At least I have a job.
I need my steak back.
I need to be able to trust
you.
Garlic.
Your letter came.
Looks like nursing school
will have you after all.
What happened to you?
Why'd you have Danny
committed?
It doesn't concern me.
Oh but it can concern me when
I gotta drive around all
night lookin' for him?
Oh, poor you.
Your brother needs help.
Yeah, for his drinkin'.
He's a drunk, he's not a crazy.
I'm his mother, God damn it.
I know what's good for him, you
hear me?
Right.
Putting him away so you can
have an affair with Mr. Quinn.
You don't know nothing.
You're just a stupid, selfish
girl.
You forgot your lipstick.
I didn't forget.
Hey, faggot!
Sean.
Excuse me, I'm going in.
Other door, queer boy.
Johnny, what are you
doin'?
Hey quit, knock it off.
SBDE, SBDE.
SBDE!
Marie says you need rehab.
She's lookin' into a couple for
you.
What's the difference?
Rehab or this ain't so bad.
I share a room with this vet,
which is great 'cause he
tells me all these stories
about all the people he's offed,
you know?
Makes me a little jealous.
I probably woulda turned
out a little better
if I was allowed to go over
there
and shoot some fucking bastards,
right?
There he is, the vet.
That guy's your roommate?
Dude's been here like six
years.
They call him a lifer
'cause they don't think
they'll ever let him go.
Sick bastard.
It'll probably be me soon
enough.
You're not a lifer, Danny.
Be outa here in no time.
Yeah, and then what?
I can't go home, I
mean, she don't want me.
Truthfully I don't think she
ever did.
I see your boyfriend's
marking his territory again.
What, you can't talk to me
anymore?
Just me or all the guys?
Aw, now you're hurtin' me.
Want some donuts?
Huh?
I was wondering if you could
run across
the street and get us some
donuts?
Come on, you can I could share a
dozen.
What do you say?
Maybe some other time.
I got somewhere I gotta be.
Hello.
Say goodbye to grandma.
How long til' dinner?
Bye, baby Aronie, grandma
loves you.
Wait, Ma', there's something
I wanted to tell you.
God help me, what now?
Marie, you can stay.
I'm a vegetarian.
Please, Sean, like I didn't
know.
A gay one.
Do I need to repeat myself?
What do
you want me to do about it?
You're on thin ice, mister.
I'm gonna show you what you have
to do.
Follow me.
What happened?
One of the Creedmorian's
flung their shit on the walls.
It's stuck on the ceilings, the
mirrors,
it's everywhere, man.
You sure it was a
Creedmorian?
I don't know, but
I'm not cleaning it up.
He can fire me, but
I'm not cleaning it up.
I saw you talkin' to that guy.
You watching me now?
My shifts not done for another
20 minutes.
Did you talk to any guys
today?
Yeah, that one.
Any that weren't coworkers?
You're gonna get me in
trouble.
Did you?
Yes, Billy, I did, okay?
Who?
Let me see there was the
guy that needed more ketchup,
the guy that found a hair
in the ranch dressing,
the guy that needed more
napkins 'cause his daughter
had a spill, who else?
Yeah and they hit on you,
right?
Yes, Billy, they all wanted
me.
They all wanted to do me right
there
one after the other on the salad
bar.
You're not funny.
You're not.
Making me crazy with all these
questions.
I think we need a break.
Why, so you can go date that
marine?
You're insane.
Do you think I'm a jerk off?
We can't break up, what about my
tat?
I'm not gonna stay with you
because my name is on your arm.
Why not?
You're on thin ice, hostess.
Go away, I'm gonna
lose my job.
Sorry.
Seany wait, I didn't, what
happened?
I told her.
You told her?
Oh, my God, you told her, told
her?
And?
I have to talk to Father Jerry
if I wanna keep living in the
house.
- Oh, my God.
- Yeah, she thinks that homo
is gonna set me straight.
I'm supposed to be there
now, talking to him.
Don't go.
Wait here, I gotta finish my
shift,
we'll figure something out.
I'm not allowed home
until I talk to him.
Just wanted to tell you.
Someone made a mess in the
mens room.
I need you to clean it up.
I'm a hostess.
Cleaning the bathroom
isn't one of my duties.
Now it is.
But all my side work
is done, I gotta go home.
You can't leave until it's
done.
You can't keep me captive.
You just want me to do
it so you don't have to.
It'll take you two minutes,
then you're free to leave.
All done?
Of course, you knew I'd do it.
Great, then you're free to go.
You know, I hope you find
something good
in your life that makes you
happy.
'Cause God knows, it ain't this
place.
Yeah, what do you know?
I know I ain't coming
back here tomorrow.
If I stay here working for you,
I'll never respect myself.
Just like if I go in there and
clean that toilet in there,
I'll never forgive myself.
So yeah, I lied.
Go away.
Babe, get in the car.
Candy, come one.
I can't live without you, I
can't.
I ain't kiddin' okay?
I can't live, I won't.
We're over, Billy.
Damn it, Candy, you
don't get in this car
I swear I'll do something crazy.
Oh yeah?
You'll what?
Billy?
Huh?
What are you gonna do that's so
crazy?
There's my bus.
Candy, Candy!
Fuck, damn it!
Fuck!
Candy!
Candy!
Can't this thing go any
faster?
Candy.
I gotta get off.
I gotta get off.
Freak.
Freak.
You made him talk to Father
Jerry?
For what?
To be saved?
Seany's about the most
decent person I ever met.
He's got a big, big, heart
and he's got more love
in his little finger
than Father Jerry has collars.
He's home?
Now perhaps you'd like to
start over Miss Pollyanna.
Care to tell me what else I'm
doin' wrong?
Get back here when I'm talkin'
to you.
I couldn't go.
She thinks I did.
Victory!
She's gonna throw me out, like
Danny,
when she finds out.
Candy, you better
get your ass down here
when I'm calling you.
I wanna go further than Burger
Barn.
Okay.
I mean it, I wanna go further.
I wanna do something
somewhere away from here,
or being a nurse, or dating a
caveman.
We stay here, they win; the
institutions.
And I don't wanna be all
locked up and in 'cause...
'Cause we're freaks?
Right, we're freaks.
The truth is we're not like
them.
We gotta do it for the
Creedmorians who are.
We gotta do it for Danny.
Don't gotta ask me twice.
What's this?
Sean?
We're breakin' out.
Go back to your rooms.
God damn it, Candy, Sean.
God damn it, you leave me,
you ain't never welcome back!
I mean it!
Love you too, Ma'.
Where we running to?
I don't know.
Let's catch that bus.
Wave down the bus.
Hey!
I always thought it'd be
different.
What?
Our getaway.
The bus is just so
anticlimactic.
If I ever write
the story of our lives,
I'm making it a vet.
Too macho!
When you write the story of our
lives,
make it a blue Cadillac.
- 911 what's your emergency?
- They're coming, hurry.
- Hello?
- They're gonna kill me.
Just tell me where you are.
- You're gonna be too late.
- Miss, tell me your address.
Oh, my God, no.
He's got a knife.
Miss,
your address?
We're sending someone right
over.
23324 Ford Avenue.
Please, no please.
- Please, no.
- Candy, Sean!
Thank you very much.
Get me out of here.
How's it coming?
Almost there.
It's about time you made it.
I got held up at work.
How's Creedmoor?
No time for stories,
the guests are waiting.
- Here, hun.
- I'll go change.
There's no time.
Your uniform is fine.
But Ma', they'll think I'm
hired help.
All the better.
Victory dance.
What were you
and your brother doing?
Nothin'.
Well do something.
Here, serve.
And don't forget the frilly
toothpicks.
They're at my house!
How's your drink holdin' up
Harv?
Oh you could hit me again.
Oh, I don't remember
hittin' you the first time.
Here you go honey.
Aren't the cops at your house?
Yeah, so?
I didn't do nothin'.
FHB.
Where's your brother?
I don't know.
Find him.
Oh no, the retards are comin.
The retards are coming.
Why are they coming out?
They are supposed to be locked
up forever.
Our dad says the normal
ones are given day passes.
They're not normal.
Neither are you!
Hey, stop!
Stop it!
Get off him!
Stop it!
- Get off him!
- Aw look, look Danny.
Your big sister's here to
Get off him.
- the rescue.
- Get off him!
What are you doing?
Get outa here.
You're looking pretty today,
Candy.
Thanks for coming by.
I don't want that.
If you don't clean
it, it's gonna get infected.
- Give me that.
- Hey, hey!
Thank you Marie.
Oh, no, thank you.
Ow!
- Cuddles!
- I'm bleeding!
Come here you dumb hound dog.
You're okay, just a nip.
What did you do?
Candy.
What's going on out here?
Sean, take him for a long walk.
He just bit Mrs. Jenkins again.
It's her own fault.
Who sits at a party?
If she'd just get off her ass
and mingle this never woulda
happened.
Where's your brother?
I don't know.
What happened to your dress?
God damn it, Candy, go get
cleaned up.
And don't let anyone see you
either.
You're an embarrassment.
Why can't you be more like Sean?
Have you ever seen him dirty,
even once?
Sean, walk the dog.
Cuddles.
Nice Cuddles, that's a good boy.
Ow, Cuddles!
Cuddles, come on, cuddles,
cuddles!
We don't have enough.
There's 25.
It's bad luck, we need 26.
What's taking so long?
Oh no, no, no, no, no.
You get out of here
mister and give me that.
But Ma' FHB's over.
You missed the whole
party so you get nothing.
Marie, make sure your
brother gets out of here.
I'll go get Daddy, hurry it up.
Gross, Danny!
Real nice.
Twice in a month Ernie?
I won't pay for it.
If you can't fix it I'm
taking it to the Muffler King
and I'm sending you the bill.
What's wrong with her, Dad?
Oh, I thought
it was this valve here.
Not the car, the lady.
Oh, she's just a little
crankity today.
Do me a favor, start her up for
me.
Can you save her?
Why bother?
I'm gonna do my best.
I know you can Daddy.
It's the stinkin' best day...
Ernie's.
Oh hi hun.
Right now?
At least another hour.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Was that Mom?
Yeah she's a little nervous
about
this trip we're taking next
week.
You'd think we were going away
for a year.
She needs breadcrumbs.
We'll go.
I thought we were going to the
park?
Hey.
Stinkin' best day ever.
One o'clock, 55 degrees,
windy.
- Hi Rainy.
- Two o'clock,
big, big storm coming.
Big storm is coming.
Big storm coming.
Big, big storm coming.
Big storm coming.
Here.
You gotta wait your turn,
Rainy.
Here, here!
Pay at the register, Rainy.
Open register, stupid cyclone.
You know he had a car accident
during a real bad storm?
That's why he talks like that.
You don't say.
Yeah, he was a brilliant med
student before his accident.
He was way smarter than you, me,
and everyone in this place
combined.
I did not know.
I didn't think you did.
Now you do.
Is that true, about Rainy?
That's what Marie
said.
Oh great.
Get to drive in that heap while
someone else drive's high as he
can.
Look at you,
you drive around all night
and creep back here in the
morning.
Huh, is that what you're
thinking?
Can you let me talk?
No way in hell
are you staying here.
One more move like that
and you're out on your ass.
You hear me?
Your father is gonna set you
straight!
- I'm not dumb.
- Get yourself cleaned up.
Look at your nails.
Ma's gonna kill you.
Ut oh.
Help.
Cuddles, cuddles!
Cuddles, go lay down.
Cuddles!
Cuddles!
Sean, Candy,
you're gonna miss the bus.
Cuddles!
Hey!
Leave him alone.
Try some Listerine, Cahill.
Better yet, Mr. Clean.
Go Ang, it's all you.
Oh, my God.
Don't, don't, don't.
Miss?
Talk to
me ma'am.
Choking me, I'm dying.
Help is on the way, Miss.
I'm dying.
Stay on
the line, help is on the way.
What?
Be all that you can be, in the
Army
I think he's on drugs again.
I'm gonna be all that
I can be in the Army.
Army, Army, Army!
Ow, shit.
Victory dance.
They're home.
Danny they're home.
- They're home!
- Ow, shit.
- Danny!
- Danny!
What are you kids
doing up?
Where's your brother?
What are you doing with that?
Nothing.
We thought we'd clean the
house before you came home.
So, did you?
Not yet.
Go to bed.
Good night.
Good night.
You want some tea?
Sure.
Sean, where's the salad?
Why are you sitting?
I thought dinner was ready.
And you can't help
bring it in?
Of course I can help bring it
in.
Forget it, sit down, sit down.
Take your hat off at my table.
Ta-da!
Sean, what do you call that?
Salad ala Sean.
Marie!
Is she back yet?
Candy, let's go.
Yum!
It's the SBDE.
I couldn't find him Ma'.
Oh did you even look?
He's probably still at the ball
field.
Ma', your tag's still on.
No kidding.
If it makes it through
this meatloaf I'll keep it.
If not, it goes back.
Is that vegetarian?
Yes, Sean, that's why
it's called meatloaf.
I'm a vegetarian.
You're nothing of the kind.
Let's pray.
In the of the Father, and the
Son,
and the Holy mother of God,
what are you doing to my rug?
I got the winning run.
You shoulda seen how far I hit
it.
Your mother makes this
beautiful meal
and you just trot in here
whenever you want to?
- Sit down.
- Get outa here
with those things.
Okay well what is it,
outa here or sit down?
- Get outa here.
- Sit down.
All right, just sit down,
and take that hat off
at your mother's table.
Damn it Daniel.
- What did I do?
- Can we please have one meal
where everything doesn't get
ruined.
Seany.
Stop poking me.
- Danny.
- Marie.
Tell him to stop.
That's all I get?
We didn't say grace.
What?
Yup, it's the Anderson's
house.
Again?
That's the third time this week.
Probably another prank call.
Probably a
Creedmorian.
Leave the poor Creedmorian's
out of his.
Now sit down, all of you.
I wanna eat and pray before
all of this gets ruined.
Dear Lord.
Oh, Dear Jesus.
Oh, Danny!
It wasn't me.
Cuddles!
Who's been feeding him chicken
again?
Oh could we just pray
God damn it, please?
Pray he stops farting.
Dear Lord, please bless
this food and this day
and bless our neighbors, the
Andersons,
there is something seriously
wrong with that family.
Down by the banks of the
Creedmoria
With the Candy and the Seany
and the Scott for dinner
With a hip, hop, can record
your pop
Happy Creedmorial Day.
Happy Creedmorial Day, Rainy.
Got a cigarette?
Got a cigarette?
- Happy Creedmorial Day!
- Happy Creedmorial Day!
This is stupid.
They have no idea it's a special
day.
Doesn't mean we shouldn't
celebrate it.
- Happy Creedmorial Day!
- Happy Creedmorial Day!
It's the mental parade.
Who's your friends Cahill?
None ya.
What's none ya?
None ya business.
Maybe one of your
friends want a sparkler.
I don't think so, you
should keep walking.
No, no, wait, wait,
wait, here this is for you.
Hey, hey you kids.
What are you doing
tormenting these poor people?
It's Creedmorial Day.
Are you mocking me?
No.
The last thing I need is
nosy Mr. Fertelli telling me
my kids are torturing
the poor Creedmorians.
It wasn't us, it was the
bullies.
So you're calling Mr. Fertelli
a liar?
- Yes.
- They our friends, Ma'.
The bullies?
No, the Creedmorians.
They're nothing of the kind.
They are special people and
they are to be left alone.
Ernest.
You heard your
mother.
Yes.
Our cruise is next
week and it would be nice
if we didn't have to worry
about each and every one of you.
- Mr. Cahill, Mr. Cahill!
- What is that?
What are you doing
Scotty?
Danny's hurt, come quick.
Jimmy's already called an
ambulance.
Ambulance?
He's at the ball field,
he got hit by a ball.
God damn it.
Get out of the car, now, go.
You and your brother, go!
Jesus Christ.
Ernest.
The Army ain't gonna take
him without his hearing.
I can't have him living at
home, Ernie, I just can't.
Don't worry
hun, he'll be all right.
We'll all be all right.
Why is it called
cauliflower ear?
Because that's what it looks
like when
your ear gets blown up from the
inside.
So if your
folks leave on the fifth,
that means we can decorate that
night.
That's what I was thinking.
I'll grab some sheets on my
next shift for the togas.
Are they back yet?
What are you doing?
It's not funny, he could lose
his hearing.
Did Ma' say anything about
canceling their trip?
Why?
No reason.
Let's make the invites.
Toga, toga, toga.
Hi, Daddy.
What are you doing awake?
Can I go with you to see Danny
tomorrow?
You have school.
After?
Well your mother thinks that
it's best
if he's left alone, you
know, to get better.
Okay?
Now go to sleep.
Hey, Daddy.
Is tomorrow gonna be a good day?
Are you kidding?
Stinkin' best day ever.
I love Bayside in the spring
time.
Hi, Cuddles.
Fairytales can come true
I love it.
What's wrong with her, Dad?
Aside from the owner?
Whatever's wrong, take
your time fixin' it.
What are you doing?
Oh, you know your mother.
She likes everything extra
tidy before we go away.
Angela, hi.
We just came back from visiting
Danny.
I thought I'd see you there.
Yes, well, you can't spend
every waking
minute of the day in a hospital.
We heard he'd never
hear in that ear again.
Is that true?
Only a constant ringing.
I guess we should be
thankful that's all he lost.
When's he coming home?
Let's hope not for a while.
Mrs. Cahill, I...
Speak up!
It was me who hit that ball.
Accidents happen, Dave.
Danny has a way of always being
in the wrong place at the wrong
time.
But I was hitting balls
where I shouldn't have,
and it's my fault he's deaf now.
- Daddy!
- Daddy!
- Daddy!
- Daddy!
- Daddy!
- Wake up!
Ernest, Ernest!
- Daddy!
- Call 911!
911, what's your emergency?
Please, come quick.
My father's on the ground not
movin'.
Please hurry.
Tell me your address.
23324 Ford Avenue, come now.
Wait!
I gave you the wrong address.
I gave him the wrong address!
Ernie!
Ernie, wake up!
Only two at a time, please.
Danny.
Danny.
Daniel.
Are you with it enough to hear
me?
Dad died.
Did I ask you to speak for me?
Your father died.
He's dead.
And you did it.
- Ma'.
- That's it, let's go.
- But, we...
- There's no buts, I said go.
Your sister will come get you
tomorrow.
You're stuck here.
So think about what you've done.
It's actually really good.
Yeah, great, just like I
was telling you, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Candy sounded so different.
We should go, I mean, that's
awful.
That's it.
Yeah, definitely.
Very, very.
Seriously?
I had a sister that went deaf
and she turned out all right.
You think you're gonna sue?
It was an accident.
Thanks for coming.
It was an accident.
Tasty beverage from
the tasty beverage man.
Thank you.
You're always right there.
Why does everybody talk so
much?
'Cause they don't know what to
say.
Toga, toga, toga, toga,
toga, toga, toga, toga, toga,
toga, toga.
Who died?
Angela, she looks more
and more like you everyday.
Oh she hates to hear that.
No I don't.
Scott just heard from
St. John's, he got it.
How 'bout you Candy?
Queensboro, like Marie.
You will make a wonderful
nurse.
Except I hate hospitals.
I saw your brother the other
day.
It looked like he was wearing
makeup.
This isn't Holy Immaculate,
you gotta tougher here.
This place will eat
someone like you alive.
What do you mean someone like
me?
Just listen to me and toughen
up.
That door is for the leather
heads.
You enter it, they'll kick your
ass.
What is this 1950?
You can't segregate me
because I'm not a Neanderthal.
They can and they will.
That door is for the rest of us.
Oh and do yourself a favor,
don't talk to any nerds, got it?
Not one nerd.
Billy Fenton.
I'll never get his attention.
Oh please, why do you always
go
for these cavemen in leather
anyway?
Look at my options, Seany.
This is a dress.
Everybody else is wearing pants.
I hear she's getting four
bucks an hour.
What?
She just started.
She don't have to work the
grill.
- Or the mic.
- Or the window.
Shit, that ain't right.
Hey.
I'm docking you $15 from your
first paycheck for the dress.
Didn't anyone ever tell you
it's not polite to stare at the
retards.
They come to Burger Barn?
For the free refills.
With a face like that you
should be in the movies.
Horror movie.
They don't come here for the
refills.
They come here because the
day that Creedmoor gave 'em
their day passes, they were told
they'd
go as far as the Burger Barn.
If they'd have told em Dunkin
Donuts across the street,
they'd of wound up there.
This is it for them.
They don't even know there
exists
a whole world outside of Burger
Barn.
Danny the whole neighborhood
can hear!
I can't.
- Oh great, just look at you.
- What Ma'?
- You need help.
- I can't hear you,
I can't hear you.
Stop feeling sorry for
yourself.
Who's feeling sorry, you try
living with
this noise in your head.
It was too loud, Danny.
You could hear it down the
block.
What are you guys even doing
here?
Don't you have my Dad's shop to
run?
We took your mom food
shopping.
Shopping.
Suppers.
He left looking like that?
In broad daylight?
When you were at work
last night,
I deep fried tofu balls
and told mom they were chicken
croquets.
No way, she let you buy tofu?
No, I used my confirmation
money.
What?
I'm frugal.
Hey faggot, where are your
pompoms?
They're up your ass.
Look who it is.
Your knight in shining Armor
All.
Hello, again.
Is that your dog?
United States Marine Corp.
My brother was gonna join the
service.
Oh, watch out, runaway tomato.
Thanks, the one I wanted.
Oh!
I'm so sorry.
Don't worry, I got it.
Hostess, I need you at the
window.
Hello.
Hi, welcome to Burger
Barn, can I take your order?
Yeah, let me
get three blow jobs.
And a side order of
cunnilingus.
Will you need extra napkins
with that?
With what?
You're funny.
Can we get free fries?
And burgers.
We got the munchies.
Hey we're going to a
party, you wanna come?
I'm workin'.
Yeah I can see that,
givin' free shit away.
You ain't to good at your job,
huh?
Yeah, I guess not.
Hello?
I can't.
Why, your boyfriend pickin'
you up?
Hello, I'd like to order
here.
Later glamorous.
Hello?
Harvey, what are you...
The bowling team wanted
to make one last plea.
We're getting clobbered Angie.
Get off of there.
Kids at school?
Yup, just the two of us.
Coffee?
Hey glamorous.
Ready to roll?
I gotta go home.
I'll drive ya.
This is my brother, Sean.
I'll walk.
He'll walk.
Your brother's a cheerleader?
No, why?
'Cause they're all queers.
Where's your girlfriend?
I don't have a girlfriend.
What about Donna?
What about her?
Don't you wanna know where I
live?
I wanna know everything about
you.
But, I already know where you
live.
Strong lungs, huh?
So?
Don't get worried.
I'm making a big circle, we're
just gonna take a nice drive,
you know, it's nice out.
Yeah.
I figured we'd take a drive.
You'll be home for dinner.
It's our time in the day.
No reason to rush.
I don't mind.
What are you doin'?
What you got under there
sweetheart?
A hell of a lot more than you
do.
That guy's my brother-in-law.
What the fuck is that,
your grandmother's car?
On green I'm goin' for it.
- Billy!
- Let's go, chief.
How much longer?
I'm gonna be late for dinner
already.
I don't know
Hey!
Yeah you better keep movin'.
You got money for a bus, hun?
No, do you?
No.
I'm not gonna be able to
fix this in like 10 minutes.
All right I don't know...
I think I know what's wrong
with it.
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
hold on there glamorous.
My dad used to be...
Hold on glamorous.
Why don't we do this, okay?
Just go down like two or three
blocks,
and hang a left for like half a
mile.
All right and you'll be, let me
just.
Just gonna go get my
books.
Okay.
Hold on a sec.
Don't talk to any guys but me,
okay?
Bye.
How's it been?
Dramatic, as always.
Is your sister back?
Sean, go get the rest of the
groceries.
And take the dog with you.
Come on, Cuddles.
Cuddles, come on.
Here Ma', came to $63.
She mad?
What do you think?
Is that what you
want?
You want to have a mother
who lays around all day
and just lets herself get fat
and gross.
- Is that what you want?
- Who shut it off?
Ma' did.
She just wasted a whole pot.
God damn bitch.
Danny!
What Marie?
You have a life, what
are you even doing here?
Thanks for helping.
Don't worry I got it.
Still worth it.
Still the SBDE.
You talk to any guys today?
What do you mean?
I mean guys, men.
I gotta protect my girl.
You're my girl, right?
Yeah, okay.
I gotta go.
Thanks for the lift.
Thank you for the
lift.
Tell me some stories, Candy.
Your liberation, libation,
hedonism.
What do you mean?
You know, did you ever cut
out school to go surfing?
Have you climbed to the top of
Creedmoore
and count the space between the
stars?
I don't smoke.
That's what you think.
Stay away from him, Cahill.
Yeah, Cahill.
Who?
Oh please, I saw you all
over him in that parking lot.
Um, he was all over me.
Can we get free fries?
Not now, idiot.
I ain't playing', Cahill.
My boot, your face.
Yeah, Cahill.
Your boot and her face.
It's all right guys.
Get in.
Get in.
Might be better if I take the
bus.
Get in, glamorous, I got you a
present.
I don't want any trouble,
Billy.
You're gonna love it.
She just seems a little
unstable to me.
You talk to any guys today?
No, just my soc teacher.
Figures, that fuckin'
cocksucker.
All right, you ready?
To fight her?
For your fuckin' present
babe, check it out.
You wrote my name in your arm?
Wrote on?
It's a tat, it's permanent.
Ow, Billy!
Hey you're my girl, right?
Now you know how I feel.
You coulda bought me a card.
What, it hurts?
Lovin' you is gonna give me
cancer.
You love me?
Baby, I love you too.
I was thinkin' after graduation
we should get married.
Married?
If I graduate, you know,
I might just get my GED.
How about first you talk to
Donna and get her off my case.
She seriously scares me, Billy.
Nah, she's just jealous.
You got nothin' to be scared of,
babe.
Christ.
Mr. Fertelli just called.
It seems your no good brother
was seen stumblin' around
the streets of Jamaica.
Shit.
Ma, this is Billy.
He's got your name on his arm.
You like it?
Wait, what?
We're going to get him?
He's gettin' in this car?
Yeah.
Man, I just Armor All'd these
seats.
Drive.
God damn it.
Fuckin' pigs.
Probably roughed him up real
good.
Don't say that.
He's in enough pain as it is.
Nice wheels, Ma.
Don't you dare talk, Daniel.
God damn it, sober up.
Wipe that shit off your face.
Candy, Sean!
Hey.
Get in.
Are you going to work today?
Yup.
For Joey and my Dad's shop,
don't you see something
wrong with that picture?
The day you prove yourself
responsible
you'll get more responsibility.
Now, go.
You want breakfast you
shoulda got up earlier.
The shit you put me through.
You straighten up or you ship
out, Danny.
God damn it!
Damn yourself.
There you go.
And I got your favorite.
Gherkins.
Really, he'll be gone in a
minute.
He's just grabbin' something for
work.
Work?
You said he lived in Jersey.
Please, Harv, you don't have
to leave.
I gotta go.
Please, Harv.
Harvey.
I gotta go.
Forgot my uniform.
The neighbor just
called.
Says your drunk brother was seen
stumblin'
around the streets of Hollace.
What you're not comin'?
Take your brother.
The keys are in the canister.
But I don't have my license.
God damn it, can't anybody
ever do what they're told?
How much more can I take, huh?
How much?
I don't even know where
Hollace is.
You?
Wanna get some donuts?
I bought a father's day card.
For Joey?
For Dad.
Dad's dead.
I know.
Guess I'll give it to Joey.
Think you'll ever have kids?
Someday sure, why not.
How?
I mean with a woman or adopted
or?
What are you asking?
I don't know, what am I
asking?
I ain't asking nothin', forget
it.
It's just you're different.
You've always been a great
dancer.
You don't do the white
man over bad or nothing.
Dad was a great dancer.
You like Cher and Bette
Midler.
Who doesn't?
You don't eat meat.
What are you doing, Candy?
Seany.
Yes, I'll most likely adopt.
Happy now?
How long have you known?
Since forever.
How come you never said
nothin'.
God.
Always thought for sure it'd be
Danny,
extreme with all the
makeup and everything.
Candy.
Sorry.
I wore mine in private.
You gonna tell mom?
Yeah, sure.
Hi mom, I'm gay.
Please add that to your long
list
of tragedies and embarrassments.
I'm jealous.
Of what?
That I'm gay?
That you're different.
You can do anything you wanna
do.
Me, I'm just like everybody
else.
My whole life's already
planned out for me.
What?
You being a nurse?
You ain't gonna be no nurse.
Of course I am.
Please, Candy, you'd be the
worst nurse on the planet.
Nurse, nurse, I'm sick, I'm
dying.
Doctor says I have only two days
to live.
Yeah and this is the
stinkin' best day ever.
I'd be a great nurse.
You'd suck.
You're a freak, you'd make
people sicker.
You think I'm a freak?
Hello?
You're happy all the time.
That just ain't normal.
A real freak?
- Wait.
- Got him?
How much did you hear?
I can't hear, remember?
He didn't hear nothin'.
Here have some coffee.
Ma' is having an affair
with Mr. Quinn from bowling.
She is not.
Ew, gross.
Mom has better taste than that.
Ma' is not having an affair.
She's still mourning for Christs
sake.
Suit yourself.
You're crazy.
You're drunk.
And you're a homo, and you're
a freak.
Great.
Aw!
Gross.
Consider it your coming out
present.
Yes, how very sheik.
Maybe she's not that
tough.
Maybe I can take her.
Yeah right.
That girl can take you and
me both with her eyes closed.
Thanks for the vote
of confidence, Seany.
Sorry.
You're just not a fighter.
Where's that tattoo'd caveman
anyway?
Workin' on his car I think.
Figures.
Where you going Cahill.
Told you this would be the day.
Yeah, Cahill, ready to die?
Who's gonna save you now?
Yeah, who's gonna save you
now?
Your sister?
Leave him out of this.
Yeah why, what you gonna do?
You too, choir boy.
Stay away from Billy.
Fine, you can have him.
Well.
You showed 'em.
How long do you have to
wait to break up with a guy
who just tattoo'd your name on
his arm?
You can't.
I think the rule is marriage.
Yeah, marriage then little cave
babies.
Keep goin'.
Keep goin'.
You can do it.
Wait.
Now you can kiss me.
Christ, what's with you
people?
I swear, I think she's
crackin', Candy.
I woke up and found her
staring out my window.
I think I'm goin' crazy.
Tell me I'm going crazy and
seeing things.
What is it Ma'?
There in the tree.
Do you see?
Who, Dad?
Your brother.
I heard a noise from the tree,
I thought it was a
squirrel and I looked up
and I swear I see him there.
No Ma', there's no one in the
tree.
There, right there.
See, those aren't his legs?
I don't see nothin'.
I'm goin' crazy.
Whoa.
What?
God damn it, Candy, I got no
clothes on.
Danny?
Really Ma' go inside.
Oh my God, he's gonna
kill himself up there.
Danny, get down.
Seany get rid of Cuddles.
Shh, don't wake the whole
god damn neighborhood,
that's all we need.
Come on, bud.
Danny, come down.
You're scarin' Ma'.
Oh, my God, is he naked?
You need help, Daniel.
Ma' go inside, we'll get him
down.
Seany for Christ sakes just grab
him.
Oh, oh God.
He's fine, he's fine.
Ma', go in.
Is that a belt?
Oh, my God.
Don't worry Mrs. C, he
can't nothing with that.
Look how short it is.
Real sensitive.
You want sensitive, date a
nerd.
I'm calling the police.
No, Ma' you're gonna call the
cops?
I am done with him.
Before he kills me, I am done.
Danny, get down, Ma's calling
the cops.
Come on, Cuddles.
- Danny!
- He's gonna fall.
Shit, nice aim.
Cuddles.
Oh, my God, Cuddles.
He don't look so good.
What, what, what
happened?
Don't tell me.
Oh, my God.
You killed him.
Oh, my God, Cuddles.
That looks like
Angie's kid.
Well someone's gotta find him.
Send Joey out if you don't
wanna.
Because we've been through
enough already.
Damn it.
Your brother's here.
Harv, Mr. Quinn is bringing him.
Tell him I'm too upset to come
down.
What am I supposed to say?
Anything, just get rid of him.
Hi Candy...
My Mom's upstairs mourning.
Our dog just died.
Oh, poor thing.
How did it happen?
He killed him.
You shoulda been there man.
He came down out of the
tree like , splat.
Tell your mother we found
him on Hillside Avenue.
Do you want your coat
back?
I'll get it another time.
Just let him sleep it off.
He's gonna have one hell of
a headache when he wakes up.
Hope he never does.
Tell your mother we're sorry
and to call us if she needs
anything.
Hi, Candy.
Graduation's coming.
Anyone special taking you to the
prom?
Yeah, special ed.
Oh Ed, that's nice.
I feel like you've been
avoiding me.
Your coat's been waiting
for you to come and get it.
I don't think this is the
place.
He won't be in our way any
longer.
Angela, he's your son.
He was never in the way.
Hi, Angie, how's Danny?
I was just tellin'
Harvey, he's doing great.
He's got a job and his own place
now.
Oh, that's so wonderful.
Yeah, he's livin' out is
Maspeth.
That far?
I know, we don't get to see as
much
as we'd like to of him anymore.
We have to go.
Okay, bye.
Here, go to grandma.
Where'd you get the love bite?
Do people call you Candy
'cause you're so sweet?
'Cause I imagine you
could give a guy cavities.
My dad named me after his Mom.
Who's your friend?
It's a customer, Billy.
What's happenin' bro?
You see that?
She's with me.
You see that?
United States Marines.
- Billy.
- Why you still here, man?
Guys, please.
I don't think you
wanna mess with me, man.
But for Candy's sake, I'll go
over there.
Why does he know your name?
I thought you didn't talk to any
guys.
Are you serious?
I got your name on my arm,
how much more serious could I
get, okay?
Look, when I love something,
I protect it, okay?
You're my most precious
property.
Property?
Do you want him?
- What's goin' on here?
- Huh?
I asked you a question,
hostess.
What are you doing,
get the fuck off her.
Excuse me?
I said, get off, man.
Hey.
Candy you all right?
Hey!
Hey, fuck you, man.
Hello?
Hello?
You look like death.
I almost lost my job today.
Please, ain't like it's
rocket science, all right?
Those burger joints are a dime a
dozen.
At least I have a job.
I need my steak back.
I need to be able to trust
you.
Garlic.
Your letter came.
Looks like nursing school
will have you after all.
What happened to you?
Why'd you have Danny
committed?
It doesn't concern me.
Oh but it can concern me when
I gotta drive around all
night lookin' for him?
Oh, poor you.
Your brother needs help.
Yeah, for his drinkin'.
He's a drunk, he's not a crazy.
I'm his mother, God damn it.
I know what's good for him, you
hear me?
Right.
Putting him away so you can
have an affair with Mr. Quinn.
You don't know nothing.
You're just a stupid, selfish
girl.
You forgot your lipstick.
I didn't forget.
Hey, faggot!
Sean.
Excuse me, I'm going in.
Other door, queer boy.
Johnny, what are you
doin'?
Hey quit, knock it off.
SBDE, SBDE.
SBDE!
Marie says you need rehab.
She's lookin' into a couple for
you.
What's the difference?
Rehab or this ain't so bad.
I share a room with this vet,
which is great 'cause he
tells me all these stories
about all the people he's offed,
you know?
Makes me a little jealous.
I probably woulda turned
out a little better
if I was allowed to go over
there
and shoot some fucking bastards,
right?
There he is, the vet.
That guy's your roommate?
Dude's been here like six
years.
They call him a lifer
'cause they don't think
they'll ever let him go.
Sick bastard.
It'll probably be me soon
enough.
You're not a lifer, Danny.
Be outa here in no time.
Yeah, and then what?
I can't go home, I
mean, she don't want me.
Truthfully I don't think she
ever did.
I see your boyfriend's
marking his territory again.
What, you can't talk to me
anymore?
Just me or all the guys?
Aw, now you're hurtin' me.
Want some donuts?
Huh?
I was wondering if you could
run across
the street and get us some
donuts?
Come on, you can I could share a
dozen.
What do you say?
Maybe some other time.
I got somewhere I gotta be.
Hello.
Say goodbye to grandma.
How long til' dinner?
Bye, baby Aronie, grandma
loves you.
Wait, Ma', there's something
I wanted to tell you.
God help me, what now?
Marie, you can stay.
I'm a vegetarian.
Please, Sean, like I didn't
know.
A gay one.
Do I need to repeat myself?
What do
you want me to do about it?
You're on thin ice, mister.
I'm gonna show you what you have
to do.
Follow me.
What happened?
One of the Creedmorian's
flung their shit on the walls.
It's stuck on the ceilings, the
mirrors,
it's everywhere, man.
You sure it was a
Creedmorian?
I don't know, but
I'm not cleaning it up.
He can fire me, but
I'm not cleaning it up.
I saw you talkin' to that guy.
You watching me now?
My shifts not done for another
20 minutes.
Did you talk to any guys
today?
Yeah, that one.
Any that weren't coworkers?
You're gonna get me in
trouble.
Did you?
Yes, Billy, I did, okay?
Who?
Let me see there was the
guy that needed more ketchup,
the guy that found a hair
in the ranch dressing,
the guy that needed more
napkins 'cause his daughter
had a spill, who else?
Yeah and they hit on you,
right?
Yes, Billy, they all wanted
me.
They all wanted to do me right
there
one after the other on the salad
bar.
You're not funny.
You're not.
Making me crazy with all these
questions.
I think we need a break.
Why, so you can go date that
marine?
You're insane.
Do you think I'm a jerk off?
We can't break up, what about my
tat?
I'm not gonna stay with you
because my name is on your arm.
Why not?
You're on thin ice, hostess.
Go away, I'm gonna
lose my job.
Sorry.
Seany wait, I didn't, what
happened?
I told her.
You told her?
Oh, my God, you told her, told
her?
And?
I have to talk to Father Jerry
if I wanna keep living in the
house.
- Oh, my God.
- Yeah, she thinks that homo
is gonna set me straight.
I'm supposed to be there
now, talking to him.
Don't go.
Wait here, I gotta finish my
shift,
we'll figure something out.
I'm not allowed home
until I talk to him.
Just wanted to tell you.
Someone made a mess in the
mens room.
I need you to clean it up.
I'm a hostess.
Cleaning the bathroom
isn't one of my duties.
Now it is.
But all my side work
is done, I gotta go home.
You can't leave until it's
done.
You can't keep me captive.
You just want me to do
it so you don't have to.
It'll take you two minutes,
then you're free to leave.
All done?
Of course, you knew I'd do it.
Great, then you're free to go.
You know, I hope you find
something good
in your life that makes you
happy.
'Cause God knows, it ain't this
place.
Yeah, what do you know?
I know I ain't coming
back here tomorrow.
If I stay here working for you,
I'll never respect myself.
Just like if I go in there and
clean that toilet in there,
I'll never forgive myself.
So yeah, I lied.
Go away.
Babe, get in the car.
Candy, come one.
I can't live without you, I
can't.
I ain't kiddin' okay?
I can't live, I won't.
We're over, Billy.
Damn it, Candy, you
don't get in this car
I swear I'll do something crazy.
Oh yeah?
You'll what?
Billy?
Huh?
What are you gonna do that's so
crazy?
There's my bus.
Candy, Candy!
Fuck, damn it!
Fuck!
Candy!
Candy!
Can't this thing go any
faster?
Candy.
I gotta get off.
I gotta get off.
Freak.
Freak.
You made him talk to Father
Jerry?
For what?
To be saved?
Seany's about the most
decent person I ever met.
He's got a big, big, heart
and he's got more love
in his little finger
than Father Jerry has collars.
He's home?
Now perhaps you'd like to
start over Miss Pollyanna.
Care to tell me what else I'm
doin' wrong?
Get back here when I'm talkin'
to you.
I couldn't go.
She thinks I did.
Victory!
She's gonna throw me out, like
Danny,
when she finds out.
Candy, you better
get your ass down here
when I'm calling you.
I wanna go further than Burger
Barn.
Okay.
I mean it, I wanna go further.
I wanna do something
somewhere away from here,
or being a nurse, or dating a
caveman.
We stay here, they win; the
institutions.
And I don't wanna be all
locked up and in 'cause...
'Cause we're freaks?
Right, we're freaks.
The truth is we're not like
them.
We gotta do it for the
Creedmorians who are.
We gotta do it for Danny.
Don't gotta ask me twice.
What's this?
Sean?
We're breakin' out.
Go back to your rooms.
God damn it, Candy, Sean.
God damn it, you leave me,
you ain't never welcome back!
I mean it!
Love you too, Ma'.
Where we running to?
I don't know.
Let's catch that bus.
Wave down the bus.
Hey!
I always thought it'd be
different.
What?
Our getaway.
The bus is just so
anticlimactic.
If I ever write
the story of our lives,
I'm making it a vet.
Too macho!
When you write the story of our
lives,
make it a blue Cadillac.