Creepshow (1982) Movie Script

I've told you before,
I don't want you to read this crap!
I never saw such rotten crap in my life!
Where do you get this shit?
Who sells it to you?
I am talking to you, young man!
Answer me when I talk to you!
You remember who puts the bread
on the damn table around here!
Don't be too hard on him.
All the kids read them.
My boy isn't all the kids!
Do you want to know where this is going?
Right into the garbage!
You got any smart mouth about that?
I don't see how it's any worse
than the books you keep in your dresser!
The ones under your underwear.
Those sex books!
You didn't have to--
Hit him? Not only do l find out
he's reading this crap...
...but he's a little snoop as well!
lt wasn't like that!
You asked me to get your cufflinks!
lt was on Sunday!
l'll go down and close the windows
before the rain gets in.
l'll do it. l got some garbage
l want to throw away.
Daddy, please, don't throw it away.
l'm sorry.
Next time l find you with a worthless
piece of shit like this again... won't sit down for a week!
You remember that!
Tuck in.
That takes care of that.
Stan, don't you think you were
a little hard on him?
Did you see that crap?
All that horror crap. Things coming out
of crates and eating people?
Dead people coming back to life?
People turning into weeds?
-Yes, l did, but--
-Do you want him reading that stuff?
-Well, no, but--
-All right, then.
l took care of it.
That's why God made fathers, babe.
That's why God made fathers.
l hope you rot in hell!
Do you really think she'll be out?
Of course she will, Richard.
You know that.
You can set your watch by her.
Pass those scones, Cass.
You're such a hog.
You married a great hog, Henry.
But then, l suppose you know that,
don't you?
Our Cass has always had
such an extremely healthy appetite.
Who is coming out, Cass?
You mean Cass hasn't told you
about dotty old great Aunt Bedelia?
The patriarch of our clan?
lsn't she the one
who was supposed to have...?
Supposed to have murdered her father?
Bedelia is my aunt.
Which means that she is
Richard and Cass's great aunt.
Which also means
that she's older than God.
But her father, Nathan,
was even older and meaner than that.
You're all a bunch of dirty vultures...
...just waiting to get your hands
on my money!
He was hysterically jealous
of Bedelia all his life.
A complete Freudian relationship.
Then when he was about 184,
he had a stroke.
And lucky Bedelia,
she got to nurse him full-time.
Then she met a fella.
Yes, sir, a real September courtship.
September courtship!
This was October or November,
at the very latest.
He was 75!
Aunt Bedelia is...?
Never mind, my dears.
The point is Bedelia loved
her rather elderly beau...
...and her own father had him murdered!
Yarbro was the guy's name
and he supposedly died... a "hunting accident."
That's what's on the books, anyway.
For Bedelia, it was the last straw.
She bashed her father's head in
with a marble ashtray.
So rumor has it.
Well, however it happened... was good riddance
to some extremely bad rubbish.
And my lovely niece
and my handsome nephew...
...have very good reasons
for being pleased... old Nathan's death.
There was no trouble about the will.
Share and share alike.
And now...
...every Father's Day,
every single Father's Day since his death...
...for seven long years,
she returns to this house.
The "scene of the crime. "
-ls that--
-Oh, yes.
You can almost set your watch by her.
"Screech to a halt," as they say.
Do you think she really did it?
Oh, yes.
l know she did.
Bedelia was always very unstable,
even when she was much younger.
After the death of her gentleman friend,
she grew steadily worse.
Why Father's Day?
Because that was the day of the tragedy.
And she is overwhelmed
with her own guilt.
She will go to her father's grave
and meditate for about an hour.
Then she will come inside
and we'll all sit down... a nice baked ham dinner.
The three of us--
l'm so sorry, Henry...
...the four of us...
...who now owe her so very much.
I want my cake!
Where's my cake, Bedelia?
Where's my Father's Day cake?
I want my cake... dirty bitch!
I'm going to have it!
lt's Father's Day!
Where's my cake?
You promised me my cake.
l'm your father and you're supposed to be
taking care of me!
l don't hear you! l said, l don't hear you!
You bitch!
What do you think l've got you here for?
You're just like all the others.
You're nothing but a bunch of vultures!
l want my cake.
Where's my Father's Day cake?
Happy Father's Day!
Happy Father's Day.
l didn't know l had it in me!
l'm your daughter, right? You bootlegger.
Killer! Murderer!
Ungrateful bastard.
You shouldn't have killed Yarbro!
He was a man, a real man!
Everything l wanted, he wanted for me!
You stupid bastard! You screwed it all up.
You screwed up my mother,
you screwed me up.
You got me so mad, you drove me crazy.
"l want my cake, Bedelia, you bitch! "
You called me a bitch!
Sylvia fixed it all.
Ashtray back in place.
Chair overturned.
A fall, Daddy, a bad fall.
Nobody could catch us!
You taught me, you taught Sylvia!
You taught us all!
So peaceful here.
Where's my cake, Bedelia?
l want my cake!
lt's Father's Day, Bedelia!
l want my cake!
Cass, turn that down!
Turn that down
and turn it down right now!
Shall l glaze the ham now?
No, Mrs. Danvers, you'll have to wait.
Miss Grantham has not yet arrived.
And you will remember
that today is a very special day.
Yes, ma'am.
Ain't life grand, Mrs. D.?
l do hope she's all right.
Sometimes she loses track of time.
Aunt Bedelia?
Miss Grantham, are you around?
Where's my cake?
l want it.
lt's mine.
Where is he?
My dear, l really couldn't say.
No doubt he's still out at the grave,
hobnobbing with your Aunt Bedelia...
...getting her side of the story l expect.
Well, l want him.
And l want my dinner. l'm hungry.
Go get him then.
You go, Richard.
He's your husband.
l don't even like him.
l'll go and get him.
After all, he's such a sweet boy.
Mrs. Danvers?
Mrs. Danvers!
Mrs. Danvers!
l want my cake.
Where is she?
And where the hell is Hank?
Go see, Richard. Please.
Look, my darling sister...
...he's your hick....
Husband, l mean. You go look for him.
Richard, l'm scared and it's dark out there!
l just want some more wine, okay?
Please, Richard!
All right. Come on.
Come on!
Are we conserving energy?
lt's Father's Day!
And l got my cake!
Happy Father's Day!
Holy Jesus!
That's a meteor!
l'll be dipped in shit if that ain't a meteor!
l wonder how much they'd pay for it
at the college?
I wonder how much they'd pay for it
at the college?
Damn fine one, Mr. Verrill!
How does $50 sound?
Not a cent less than $200!
My mother didn't raise idiots!
Keep on counting.
Not a cent less than $200.
My meteor, my price!
l can pay off my bank loan!
That's the ticket.
Got to cool the son of a bitch off.
You done it now, Jordy Verrill!
You nunkhead!
Nunkhead! Nunkhead!
...for a broken meteor?
Mr. Verrill, you must be joking!
l wouldn't give you two cents!
Jordy Verrill, you nunkhead!
Verrill luck's always in.
And you spell that kind of luck, B-A-D!
Still, l got to try.
Meteor shit!
Maybe l can glue it together
in the morning.
Jesus Christ.
l'm sorry, Mr. Verrill.
These fingers have... to come off.
This is going to be extremely painful,
Mr. Verrill.
Jordy Verrill... nunkhead!
Boy, don't it itch!
Well, that's Verrill luck, all right.
Always in.
Always bad!
But there is a difference
between dreaming and doing.
The dreamersjust sit...
...and moon about how wonderful
it would be...
...if only things were different.
And the years roll on and they grow old.
By and by, they forget everything...
...even about their dreams.
I don't want to be like that.
I want to be somebody.
Everyone laughed at us,
as they did at all the other pioneers.
They said America would never
be anything but a wilderness.
We didn't believe that.
We were going to make a new country.
Besides, we wanted to see
our dreams come true.
Grandma, it must have been wonderful!
It was.
But don't you think for one single minute
that it was easy.
We burned in summer
and we froze in winter.
But we kept right on going
and didn't complain.
Because we were doing
what we wanted to do!
Can you understand that?
No, no!
There you are, you sucker!
l knew you were in here some place!
Our next program, Let There Be Light.
Many ofyou have made
the great breakthrough... giant step, the faith decision.
l needed that!
You then said, "My troubles are over!"
Not true!
Look up!
Lift up your head!
You will succeed!
Be confident of this one thing!
That God, who has begun
a good thing in you...
...will complete it!
l'm growing!
Oh, my God! What a dream!
Oh, no!
Not there!
But you're dead.
You've been dead...
...Christ, three years almost!
You ain't going to get
into that tub, are you?
lt's the water that it wants, Jordy!
Don't you know that?
You get into that water, Jordy... might as well sign
your death warrant.
l'm a goner already, Daddy, ain't l?
l got the stuff from out of that meteor
on me....
And l'm gone.
Ain't l?
Oh, better!
Oh, that's much better!
And now, it's time for the Farm Report.
Sponsored by Granger Farm Supply...
...the home of all your feed
and farm supplies.
Grain prices closed,
having risen most of the session... reaction to positive export news.
Please, please?
Please, God...
...let my luck be in!
Just this once.
Please, God...
...just this once!
And in today's weather...
...not much for the outdoor types,
but you farmers are going to love this!
The current 30-day forecast...
...released by the meteorological station
at Portland...
...calls for moderating temperatures
and lots of rain!
Castle County is going to turn green
so fast in the next month...
...that it's going to be almost miraculous!
All right, all right!
-All right, l said!
That may work on TV, mister,
but l can bench-press 300 pounds.
Get your foot out of my door,
or you'll lose about half of it!
Don't call me "mister"!
You know damn well who l am!
Let's not play any games.
Get out of here!
Listen to me carefully, Harry.
Unless you let me in and talk to me...
...something very nasty will happen
to Rebecca.
So nasty...
...that your little mind
can barely conceive of it.
You've found out. All right.
Becky and l were going
to tell you pretty soon anyway.
Some of these cables are loose, Harry.
l'm surprised you didn't notice a change
in the quality of your picture.
You ought to be grateful to us.
lf you ever loved her, you don't now.
There won't be any alimony
or property settlement problems.
She just wants out.
l don't know whether l ever loved her
or not, Harry. That doesn't matter.
The point is l keep what is mine.
No exception to that rule, ever!
No exceptions, Harry.
What did you mean when you said
something nasty would happen?
You really should take better care
of this equipment.
At least get a maintenance cartridge.
Talk to me! Right now!
Take your hand off me, right now!
l've got something l want you to hear.
He's got me in....
Please, come!
He's got me in....
Ifyou don't come, the....
Please, Harry!
Please, come!
l had to stop it there.
l couldn't bear to record any more.
What have you done with her?
Tell me, you son of a bitch, or l'll kill you!
Kill me and you'll never find out!
Now, don't get naughty.
lf l fall down on this floor
and hit my head on that hard marble...
...l could fracture my skull.
-Fine with me!
-Then you'll never know!
And believe me, Mr. True Love,
you'll want to know!
Because by 1 1 :00 this morning,
it will be too late.
I love the ocean,
except when the tide is out.
Then it has that kind of rotten smell.
l just don't understand
what you're trying to prove.
l'm not trying to prove a thing.
lt may be on some subjects
that l'm not entirely sane.
The subject of what is mine,
for example, l'm not sane... all!
This is Comfort Point.
l call my beach house Comfort Station.
ls that camp or kitsch, Harry?
That's stupid!
That's unkind, Harry!
l won't hold it against you.
Come on, up this way.
Maiden-fair is waiting
for her knight in shining corduroy.
Come on.
Here's something l think
you'll find interesting.
You see that down there?
ls that...?
The burial mound of my lady-fair?
lt could be.
Notice how the water creeps in?
Even when the tide is out...
...the water creeps in.
l don't know what you think you're doing!
This has gone just about far enough!
No, Harry. Not nearly far enough!
Now, if you're thinking
of becoming a hero...
...l suggest that you remember
the lady-fair.
Jump into that hole.
Then you force me to shoot you, Harry.
Good boy, Harry.
Now, Harry, l want you to kneel down...
...and start pulling the sand into the hole.
No way! Go ahead,
shoot me if you want to.
-You're not going to bury me alive!
-Not a bad idea.
Not exactly what l had in mind though.
All l want to do is incapacitate you,
then you can see Becky.
l don't believe you.
l always keep my promises.
And l do have the gun, don't l?
Yell all you want, Harry!
Comfort Point is very private! l own it all!
Help! Help!
Nobody will hear you.
Nobody will hear anything!
Now, do what l told you!
Sort of like being buried
in wet cement, eh?
You can't move your arms.
You don't have any leverage.
Go ahead, try to move.
l could really...
...cover you all the way up,
couldn't l, Harry?
l could make Harry all gone!
Oh, no! No, no.
l wouldn't do that.
Here, let me get that out of you.
There you are. That's good.
No, l keep my promises.
Get out.
Get out of here! Jesus!
Get it out of here!
Found a friend, Harry?
"l'm just wild about Harry"
Come on, Richard.
Get it out of here!
He's just getting revenge.
For all of the relatives of his that you ate,
baked and stuffed at Ma Maison!
Bad fellow! You bad fellow!
Get away!
Look, l have money!
l'll give you anything!
Just get me out of this hole!
l have something here...
...that will take your mind off of it.
lt's showtime!
lsn't this a great video?
l love this!
Look at the quality of that picture!
She can't hear you!
l'm sorry. She lost the coin toss.
l had to bury her further down the beach.
Couldn't even leave her a monitor.
Would have shorted out by now.
No, no! That's a trick!
You son of a bitch!
That's some kind of special-effects trick,
isn't it?
Just look at the VCR back there....
l'm sorry. You can't turn your head.
Let me assure you the VCR is not on PLAY,
it's on RECORD.
l'm going to save this stuff!
Two of you are part of my home movies!
You're insane!
lt won't be long now.
Not long at all.
Oh, my God!
You are insane.
l kept my promise
that you would see Becky again.
ls that insane?
You bastard!
There's a chance you can get out of this.
The tide might even set you free.
lt depends on how long you keep your cool,
how long you hold your breath.
The water is so cold!
So salty.
You're underneath, holding your breath...
...waiting for the wave that's covering you
to go back out... that you can snatch a quick breath...
...before the next wave comes in!
You have a chance, Harry,
if you don't lose your head.
lt looks like she's losing hers!
Oh, God! No!
Feel how hard your heart is beating, Harry?
How fast?
That will make it harder
for you to hold your breath.
Oh, the tide.
lt's coming in.
lt's getting late, Harry.
l'll have to prod along now.
But you enjoy the show.
At least until the monitor shorts out.
All right! Come on! Stop it!
Sorry, Harry. l really can't stay.
Come back here!
Oh, God! Harry!
Oh, my God.
I'm going to get you!
Do you hear me, Richard?
Do you hear me, Richard? I'll get you!
You have to hold your breath.
You have to hold your breath!
The current pulled him out.
That's what happened.
Current pulled him out. He's gone.
Now, let me see, where is...?
lf that damn maid has been moving
my stuff again, l swear l'll--
The undertow has carried them away
and saved me the trouble.
Come out of it!
No need to get jumpy.
They're all gone, blub-blub-blub.
Who's out there?
ls that you, Wentworth?
May l remind you, dear boy, l have the gun.
l suggest you get out of here...
...or l'll shoot you!
Fair warning!
l'll shoot you dead!
Get out of here, Wentworth!
You can't shoot us...
...dead, Richard.
Because we're already dead!
We want to see you, Richard!
We want to see you, Richard!
We want to see you, Richard!
We want to see you, Richard!
We dug a hole for you, Richard.
On the beach.
Below the high-tide line!
Here we come!
"lt's showtime! "
Here we come, Richard!
Let's go to the beach.
We just want you to come to the beach.
Come with us.
Come down to the beach.
lf you don't panic....
lf you can hold your breath....
lf you can hold your breath....
lf you can hold your breath....
lf you can hold your breath....
l can hold my breath...
...for a long time!
Look at that!
What the devil...?
Dexter, you are such a child!
You and Henry both are such children.
But at least Henry has me
to take care of him. Don't you, dear?
Tabby, Richard...
...l'd like you to meet Dexter Stanley...
...our distinguished professor
in the zoology department.
They're both new here
in the math department.
How do you do?
What a lovely name you have.
Actually, it's Tabitha.
-Pleasure to meet you, Professor Stanley.
-Just Dex will do.
This is Henry and Wilma Northrup.
Just call me Billie. Everyone does.
You need anyone to show you the ropes,
hon, just come see me.
l know all the best stores.
Nice to meet you.
Are you buying or renting?
We're renting at the moment.
lt's just as well.
Buying real estate in a college town is
a pain in the ass.
Take my word for it.
Henry is in the English department.
And Wilma....
l just take care of Henry.
Believe me, he needs it.
Did you ever meet a man who didn't?
You're not drinking?
Actually, we just got here.
Well, we can take care of that.
Just come with me.
Stay here until l get back.
These people are dry. Take care of them.
They don't know what they're doing.
And if Dexter hadn't had his teeth capped,
he'd have been out on his ass years ago.
So when Parker told me
that l was out of line...
...l told him he ought to get laid.
"Parker," l said, "if you'd just have
your ashes hauled...
" wouldn't have to spend
all this time playing Emily Vanderbilt! "
Or Emily Van Buren...
...whoever that etiquette crotch is!
Excuse me.
l don't know why they keep inviting her!
How about tonight?
Maybe we could do it tonight?
That would be great.
All right, l'll call you about it.
l gather you'll be unavailable
for chess tonight.
Henry, l'm just about reaching
a point where l--
Pardon me. Would one
of you be Professor Stanley?
Yes, l am.
-There is a telephone call for you.
-All right. Thank you.
Probably be Charlie again
with his damn ear mites.
He'll get the Nobel Prize before he's 20!
Especially if he's working
at Amberson Hall in August.
No, he's downstairs. lt's cooler.
Yeah, sure, l'll come tonight.
Well, thanks.
Hey, what are friends for?
Just call me Billie.
Everyone does.
l thought l should call you anyway,
see what you thought.
Did Charlie tell you l was here?
Yeah. I sent him out for a hamburger.
l had to insist.
That kid doesn't know if it's night or day
when he gets going.
Yes, he's very dedicated.
l'm willing to bet that crate... full ol National Geographics
or back issues of the Reader's Digest.
The date on it said 1834.
Did they publish a Reader's Digest
way back then?
Yes, it's stenciled right on the side.
June 19, 1834.
And then something
about an "Arctic Expedition."
There may be something more interesting
in your crate than periodicals after all.
...because everyone in the department
is looking to put the knife in you.
l mean, some of these
so-called "academics"...
...make the shark in Jaws
look like fucking Flipper!
Your husband is calling you, Billie.
Oh, God, Henry! What's wrong now?
Not a thing, Wilma.
Everything is just fine.
Hell of a shot.
Henry, can't you do anything right?
"Huh?" That's what l figured!
That is just what l would expect from you!
l told you half an hour ago
to get one of them... in the monkey suits
to bring the car around!
Oh, l'm sorry.
You are such a little kid.
l swear to God you are.
Where would you be without me
to take care of you?
l still think your crate is full
of old magazines and just plain junk.
lt's chained though.
"Arctic Expedition."
And that date!
lt kind of gets you, doesn't it?
Yes, it kind of does.
Got it.
lt's kind of heavy.
l'll just swing this in.
Let's set it down over here.
l'm surprised that you didn't
open it yourself.
No, l figured that was for you.
Why didn't you tell Charlie?
He's just a grad student.
And with Professor Tirrell being in England,
l figure you're the boss.
Hold this on it.
What made you look under here?
l flipped a quarter trying to decide...
...if l should buff the second-floor hallway
first or wash the lab windows.
But when it came down, l missed it.
Then it rolled under here.
Oh! There it is.
l probably would have let it go, only it was
my last quarter for the Coke machine.
lt's not very nice in there, is it?
God, l hate tight places!
-Are you okay, Doc?
Help me out with this, will you?
l think we might really have
something here.
What's wrong?
lt felt like something shifted in there.
Did you feel it when we set it on the table?
l did feel something under the stairs.
lt felt heavy.
Yeah, but it seemed like something moved
on its own.
lf there ever really were
any living specimens in there...
...l doubt if they're feeling very lively
after 147 years.
l must be spending too much time
in the sun.
Let's get this open, shall we?
l got a hammer and chisel in the closet.
Just wait while l go get them.
Turn the lights on.
And don't just leave the pots soaking
like you did last time!
Scrub them and put them away!
Just because you
and your intellectual friend...
...are going to play chess, doesn't mean
you have to leave a mess for me.
Wipe the stove!
Yes, Billie.
And kindly have him out of here
before l get back from my classes.
Frankly, that tobacco he smokes
makes me want to vomit!
Yes, Billie.
"Yes, Billie. Yes, Billie."
What would you do without me?
l don't know, Billie.
Well, on that we're even.
Enjoy your chess.
l bet they're worth something.
Be my guest, Mike. lt's your find.
There's probably nothing in there...
...but some rocks and plants
that'll turn to dust if we touch them.
But l'm pretty hot to see, just the same.
To tell you the truth, so am l.
lt's loosening up.
l can't see a damn thing!
Where did l leave my flashlight?
Never mind. Let's just get the last nail
out of here.
Did you hear that?
There's something in there!
Something shiny!
Looks like a couple of emeralds!
Help me, Doc!
lt's biting!
Professor Stanley, what is it?
The janitor!
The crate! lt was going to attack me!
Professor, slow down!
We have to get the campus security!
Professor Stanley, slow down!
l don't know what you're talking about!
lt's the janitor!
-You know Mike, the janitor?
-Yes, of course l do.
lt just sucked him in!
That's pretty far out, Professor Stanley.
But it's true! l swear, it's true!
Let's get the campus police!
No! The campus security is no good!
lf l'm having trouble swallowing this,
what the fuck will they think?
l don't know what they would think.
They'd think you had been off
on a hell of a toot.
They'd think that we'd both been off
on a hell of a toot!
Seeing Tasmanian devils
instead of pink elephants.
l think l'll go down...
...and see how the land lays.
No! Don't! lt may be out!
l doubt that.
Charlie, please, don't go there!
Be right back, Professor Stanley.
He'll see it.
He'll see the crate, he'll see the blood!
He'll see Mike!
And then he'll believe me!
There! See the blood?
Do you think l'm crazy now?
You think that l killed him?
Look at the blood! Look....
lt's gone!
What's gone?
lt got out.
l thought it would be potbound
after all these years, but it got out!
lt pushed the crate off the table!
Look at these tracks!
lt pushed the crate back in
under the stairs...
...where it felt safe for so long.
Charlie, l really think--
Charlie, listen, don't go in there!
lf you had seen that thing!
Don't worry.
lt looks like it's been through a hay baler.
Now do you believe me?
Charlie, don't go near it.
l don't want the crate.
l want that shoe.
l want to measure the bite marks.
Then maybe we can figure out...
...what we're dealing with here.
We have to stop it! We have to stop it!
Two people are dead already!
We have to.... Dear God, they died!
Hey, Dex, hold it.
What happened?
Two people are dead already, and....
Who's dead?
Where's Wilma?
She's gone. Dex, what the hell
happened to you?
Two people are dead
and l could be blamed.
l know that's a terrible consideration
at a time like this, Henry, but....
Good God.
The last time l saw someone do that
was in the movies.
lt could be my ass, Henry,
and it wasn't me!
lt was that thing in the crate!
l don't even know what it was!
What two people?
Who is dead?
Mike, the janitor in Amberson Hall...
...and Charlie Gereson.
He wanted to measure the bite marks!
l guess he got his chance.
He most certainly did!
l can't do anything for you
unless you stop being so damned elliptical.
Now, just slow down,
tell me the whole story...
...from the beginning, all right?
All right. l think l can do that now.
Thank God for you, Henry.
l thought of some ideas of how
to get rid of it coming over here.
l kept thinking about Ryder's Quarry.
You know the place?
l know it.
l think it would be deep enough...
...if only there was a way
to get the crate over there.
You know, l kept thinking about it.
l don't know anymore!
Am l going crazy, Henry?
l have to use the facilities.
l'll be back in a minute.
Then we'll decide what we need to do.
What are friends for?
Let's get you another drink.
No, no. l've had enough.
l'm surprised l'm not plastered
out of my gore.
The shock, l guess.
Just one more for the both of us
while we talk this over.
We may need it.
Yeah, okay.
Henry, goddamn it!
How many times have l told you
to lock the goddamn door?
"Wilma, I've had to leave in a hurry...
"...because of a call from Dexter Stanley.
"He seems to have gotten himself
in a great deal of trouble.
"I'm ashamed to tell you of this...
"...but ever since Dexter's wife died...
"...he's had problems coping
with certain young female grad students.
"He's been able to cover up several
incidents but this one looks very serious.
"It seems he got a young woman...
" accompany him to Amberson Hall
under false pretenses...
"...and then attacked her.
"When Dex called me,
he was barely coherent.
"He was gibbering with fear
and crying, I think.
"I tried to get him to tell me
what had happened to the girl.
"But for the most part he kept repeating,
'It's awful, Henry! It's awful!'
"Wilma, could you come out here?
"I know it's asking a lot.
"But you're always so clear-headed
about these things.
"And you know how to be firm.
"I think Dex could use a firmer hand
than mine right now.
"Not to mention the girl herself.
"He said that she had curled up
in a dark place and won't come out.
"I'm sorry to have to ask you to come
over to Amberson Hall to help me out...
"...but as you so often say,
what would I do without you?"
What indeed, Henry?
What indeed?
Henry, where are you?
The laboratory, Wilma.
What are you doing
creeping around down there?
Where is Dex?
What kind of a mess
has he gotten himself into?
lt's easier if l just show you, l think.
Come on down.
What's this?
l found them.
Did he beat her?
How bad is she? ls she conscious?
lt's easier if you just see
for yourself, Wilma.
What are you laughing about?
Your best friend gets in a scrape with a girl
and you're laughing?
There is a funny side to it, Wilma.
Wait till you see. You'll think so yourself.
You're hysterical, Henry.
Just what l would have expected!
No, l don't think you'll expect this, Wilma.
This is going to be
an entirely new experience.
What are you doing? Let go of me!
What's going on?
The lab's the other way.
The lab. Yes, but....
The girl is under the stairs, Billie.
Wait till you see. That's what's so funny.
The girl has crawled under the stairs
and she won't come out.
She's all curled up there,
you know, like a little baby...
...making funny sounds.
What did he do to her?
You can get her out, Billie.
l know you can get her out.
Why don't you give it a try?
You always know how to handle
these things, Billie.
No problem.
No trouble.
l know you can get her out!
What are you doing, Henry?
-What are you doing?
-What l should have done a long time ago!
Get in there, Wilma.
Just tell it to call you Billie, you bitch!
Stop it! Stop it, Henry, l'll scream!
Scream all you want. l'll help you.
Wake up!
Wake up, whatever you are!
Wake up, wake up!
Poison meat!
Wake up! Wake up!
Wake up! Wake up!
That was great, Henry.
That was just great.
You think this is a Friday night fight?
ls that what you think?
You want to see some real punching?
Same old Henry.
Afraid of your own shadow.
You know what, Henry?
You're a regular barnyard exhibit.
Sheep's eyes, chicken guts...
...piggy friends...
...and shit for brains.
No good at departmental politics... good at making money... good at making an impression
on anybody!
And no good at all in bed!
When was the last time
you got it up, Henry?
When was the last time
you were a man in our bed?
Now, get out of my way, or l swear
you'll be wearing your balls for earrings!
l swear to God if you ever touch--
Just tell it to call you Billie.
I didn't see anyone, not a soul.
At this time of the year and no other,
the campus is almost totally deserted.
Summer session is over and fall semester
doesn't start for two more weeks.
It was almost hellishly perfect.
I never even saw a pair of headlights.
Henry, what did you do with the crate?
That's the beauty of it!
You provided the final piece
in thejigsaw puzzle yourself.
The crate is at the bottom
of Ryder's Quarry.
I drove out there with the remains
of three human beings.
Well, two human beings and Wilma.
I began to wonder, where did they go?
I mean, how much could it eat?
I think maybe, at the very end... began to suspect what was happening.
So, the question is: What happens now?
There's no evidence of foul play,
l've seen to that.
And there are no bodies.
No. No, l don't suppose there are.
So, what about you, Dexter?
What are you going to say?
Thanks. Thank you, Dexter.
No need to thank me.
After all, what are friends for?
You understand, of course
that l expect to whip your ass at chess...
...twice a week for the rest of our lives.
We'll have to see about that, won't we?
l haven't done anything to anybody.
Neither have l.
What if l woke up before you got here
and called the police?
You didn't.
What if it gets out, Henry?
What if it gets out of that crate?
lf you saw the way l chained it up,
you wouldn't worry.
That thing has drowned in its box
So, relax.
Goddamned bugs.
l'll get them bugs!
l own this goddamned building.
There's not going to be any more
damn bugs!
Heads are going to roll.
l promise you that!
Hello, that you, White?
No, sir, Mr. Pratt. This is George Gendron.
Ijust got off the plane from Seattle.
I have my report ready for typing--
The building superintendent
is on vacation, George.
You believe that? Vacation!
l told them l wanted to hear from him
within the hour.
Within the hour, and he now has...
It's 9:34 p.m.
...exactly 26 minutes to go...
...or he can stay on vacation permanently!
Sir, there was a telex here
in the office from Seattle.
I thought you'd want to hear it.
Why are you at the office at 9:30, George?
There's no overtime at the executive level.
Yes, sir, I know that.
It's about the Pacific Aerodyne takeover.
To hell with Pacific Aerodyne!
They're done for.
Norman Castonmeyer is a dinosaur!
He's too fucking blind to find his way
into the nearest tar pit.
The air pollution count is up
to almost seven, George!
People are dying of carbon-monoxide
poisoning and don't even know it.
l found another cockroach
this evening, George.
One of those big ones, right here in
my $3,200-a-month penthouse apartment.
My supposedly germ-proof apartment!
Would you like to tell me, George,
how an apartment can be germ-proof...
...when it's not even bug-proof?
I guess it can't, Mr. Pratt.
But I wanted you to know
that Pratt International now owns...
...the majority of Pacific Aerodyne stock.
Of course we do.
l can't talk to you now, George.
l'm going to clear up
this cockroach problem once and for all!
l'm not going to have any bugs
in my building.
l loathe bugs.
I realize that, but there's something
you should--
l've got to let you go, George.
You did well!
Go out and fuck somebody.
But wear a damn rubber.
Everybody's got the damn herpes
these days.
Sir, Norman Castonmeyer
shot himself an hour ago.
He did it when it became clear...
...there was no way to stop the takeover.
At least that's what his wife thinks.
Now we won't have to offer the old fart
a seat on the board of directors.
Now, get off the phone, George.
Never run good news into the ground.
l've got this bug problem.
Once you get bugs,
you never get rid of them.
They breed in the crawlspaces... the conduits...
...the very core of the building itself.
Goodbye, George.
Yes, sir. Goodnight, Mr. Pratt.
Once they get a foothold in the building,
you never get rid of them.
Reynolds? White?
Talk to me!
Ijust called to tell you
what a monster you are, Mr. Pratt...
...and how I will rejoice
when you're finally dead!
Lots of people are going to rejoice
when l'm dead. Who are you?
Lenora Castonmeyer.
I'm the wife of the man
you murdered this afternoon!
Mrs. Castonmeyer. How are you?
I hope they keep hell hot for you!
You son of a bitch!
I hope they do.
It wasn't enough for you
to drive him to his knees, was it?
No, you had to kill him as well!
He came home...
...and his eyes...
...his eyes were so dead.
I asked him what was wrong.
What could be so bad
to make his eyes look that way?
And the only word that he could say...
...was your name.
Ten minutes later, I heard the shot.
Yes, George Gendron told me
old Norman went out with a bang.
How many men have you destroyed?
How many men have you killed,
you monster?
Only the stupid ones.
Only the ones who handed me a knife
and then stretched out their throats.
Only the ones who, if you'll pardon
the expression, fucked up.
lf you'll excuse me,
l've got this bug problem... we'll have to defer your charming
conversation for another time.
I hope you die!
By the way....
I hope you get cancer in the worst place.
Syphilis! Leprosy!
Scream in hell forever, you monster!
Would you mind telling me
who gave you my private number?
l'd like to fire him.
It was in my husband's address book,
you son of a bitch!
Well, l can't fire him, can l?
That better be you, Reynolds.
Talk to me.
It's Carl Reynolds, sir.
I'm calling from Orlando, Florida.
Orlando? Florida?
The wife and I decided to take the kids
to Disney World this year--
l don't care if you decided
to take the kids to Attica this year.
There are still roaches in this place.
l killed one not five minutes ago.
Do you like your job, Reynolds?
I've spoken to Mr. White,
who's on desk tonight.
Do you like your job, Reynolds?
Yes, sir.
l'm glad to hear it,
because l want to see White.
Mr. Pratt, it's almost quarter of ten--
lf l don't first see White...
...and then the exterminators
within a half an hour... will have no job by midnight tonight.
Do you understand me?
Next year you can take the wife and kids
to Disney World on your welfare check.
Have you got that?
Are we together on this?
Yes, sir.
Good. l trust we are. Goodbye.
You have to watch them.
Castonmeyer, Reynolds...
That's all they are.
All of them.
And although
they're essentially brainless... have to watch them...
...'cause they creep up on you.
They creep up on you.
Talk to me. Who's there?
Good evening there, Mr. Pratt.
Got bugs again, huh, Mr. Pratt?
Don't you talk to me like that, you hear?
What way, Mr. Pratt?
Like I was crazy.
No, sir, Mr. Pratt, sir.
I don't think you're crazy. Not at all.
I wasjust trying to think...
...who might have a 24-hour
fumigating service.
l might be able to get Pirelli Brothers
out here by...
...shall we say 11:30.
You might go far, White.
I've noticed that, in servicejobs...
...people like yourself often do.
People of color.
Yes, 11:30 will be fine.
Thanks, Mr. Pratt, sir.
l'll call them just as soon as l finish
with that shower on 23.
Do it first! Do it now.
Yes, sir. Right now.
Only stunned.
That's the explanation.
Roaches are very hard to kill...
...and they're quick.
They can creep up on you.
They can creep up on you if you let them.
You see, Mrs. Castonmeyer,
l grew up in hell's kitchen!
Bugs everywhere.
And l know what to do with a bug
when l see it.
Spray it!
Squash it! Kill it!
What the fuck?
Another son-of-a-bitching blackout.
lf it was my power company,
this would never happen.
Goddamned bugs!
Fucking roaches! Goddamned bugs!
l'll kill you, you goddamned little buggers!
Come on! What do l pay you for?
Police emergency.
lt's about time!
What are you people doing down there?
We've got problems tonight, fella.
-Or haven't you looked out your window?
-Listen. This is the Upson Pratt.
l've got bugs!
Everyone's got bugs tonight,
and I don't have time for bullshit.
No, you don't understand.
These are cockroaches.
The biggest ones l've ever seen.
This has to stop!
On a slow night we could maybe
talk about it, but this isn't a slow night--
l don't think you understand
who you're talking to.
This is Upson Pratt! Upson Pratt!
l'll see to it you lose your job, you asshole!
White, talk to me!
White, l know you can hear me.
The PA's on the emergency circuit!
Talk to me!
Mr. Pratt, I'm stuck in the damn elevator.
You can't be stuck in the elevator.
l want you here now! There are roaches!
Hundreds of them!
I'm going to be here
until the power comes on. Sorry.
l'll have your job, you black bastard!
Come on, come on!
You'll never get in here. Never!
When this blackout is over, people will pay.
Oh, yes. And you'll pay too.
Every damn one of you!
l've been beating bugs all my life.
And l'll beat you too, bastards!
Talk to me.
You old monster. I hope you die.
I hope you die!
I hope you die!
I hope you die!
Mr. Pratt?
You there, Mr. Pratt?
Mr. Pratt?
Talk to me!
Talk to me. Talk to me, honky bastard.
What's the matter, Mr. Pratt?
Bugs got your tongue?
Mr. Pratt?
Mr. Pratt?
Chew your food before you swallow!
-What's that?
-lt's a comic book.
lt's a comic book.
lt's a comic book!
Comic book!
-My kids love these things.
-l love them too.
Hey, look, look!
You can send away for all this stuff here.
Look, x-ray glasses.
They don't work. They make your
eyes black. You look in and it's a gag.
Look, an authentic voodoo doll.
-Somebody already sent for it.
-Yeah, we can't get that.
How about this?
"Tired of gettin' sand kicked in your face?"
Where's Billy?
He'll be down in a minute. l know he's up.
Stan, are you all right?
l didn't get much sleep last night.
The storm?
No. lt's this damn stiff neck.
l can barely move my head.
You must have strained it.
Yeah, l guess. l don't know.
You poor bear.
Do you want me to get some Ben Gay?
l'll teach him to throw away
my comic books.
Ready for another shot, Dad?