Cryptids (2023) Movie Script
1
[woman screaming]
[radio static]
[announcer 1]
You're listening to WQRK,
your home for easy listening.
[groovy synth music playing]
[announcer 2] And welcome
to the scary part of the day,
when all manner
of ghosts and ghouls
take over our airwaves.
It's time
for everybody's favorite,
the Truth Serum.
[laughs]
[uneasy music playing]
[Harlan] Good evening,
ladies and gentlemen
and others, and welcome
to our program.
I'm your host from the
Edge of the Unknown,
Major Harlan Dean,
and I'm about to inject you
with a little bit of
the Truth Serum.
As many of you may already know,
today marks the beginning of
the annual Moth Man Festival
in Point Pleasant,
West Virginia.
And to commemorate
this wonderful event,
I've elected to dedicate
this entire show
to the theme of cryptozoology.
I guess for a lack of grace,
we're talking about
monsters tonight, everybody.
Tonight, however, every call,
every piece of information
will be dedicated solely
to these entities
we refer to as...
[rock music playing]
[Harlan] Now,
folks, let me first
start out this broadcast
by thanking each and every
one of you for joining me
on what is sure to be
an exceptional episode.
And also give a shout out
to my faithful engineer
and friend Brandon Bump.
The thing that goes
bump in the night,
day in and day out,
this man keeps us running
with nary any hiccups
and never complains.
Never complains.
Not on the air, anyways.
So if you wouldn't mind,
Mr. Bump,
let some things
go bump in the night
and welcome to Truth Serum.
You're our first caller
of the evening, Lana.
[Lana] Hello Harlan.
Uh, thanks for taking my call.
I am actually a registered
psychiatric nurse,
and I work as a caretaker
in my patient's home
somewhere in the
Eastern States area.
There's only so much
information that I'm willing
or able to divulge.
I-- I hope you understand.
[Harlan] Oh, Lana,
I completely understand
and I want to assure you
that you're in good hands
and your protection is of
the utmost importance to me.
Thank you, sir.
I really appreciate your
understanding because,
I really want you to hear
this story I have to tell you.
Have you ever heard of
something called a melon head?
-[uneasy music playing]
-[crickets chirping]
[Craig] Hey, how you doing?
-[sighs] Extremely nervous.
-[gentle music playing]
How about you?
You holding up okay?
[smooches]
You know, there's no shame
in postponing this campfire
for another night.
-[sighs]
-I think you coming this far
is a huge positive step
in the right direction.
Aww.
That's so sweet of you trying to
defend me and my shortcomings.
Well, I really wouldn't call
being afraid of the dark
exactly a shortcoming.
There are way more ridiculous
fears to have than that one.
Like the fear of buttons.
The fuck is that shit all about?
Is that a fact?
[gentle music continues]
-[uneasy music playing]
-[match strikes]
-[eerie howling]
-[insects chirping]
Yeah, great.
That's gonna help a lot.
Come on, you're doing great.
Don't let that
mess up your game face.
You got this.
Yeah, here's to the chick
with the big balls. Salute.
Thanks, guys. But we're not
exactly out of the woods yet,
and I still have
like seven hours
before we can call this
a complete success.
Hey, take the compliments
where you can because...
we might not be
so forgiving in the morning.
[Jeremy scoffs]
My thoughts exactly.
I mean, who's to say we'll even
make it till morning anyways.
We are in the Grinning Man's
territory after all.
Hey, you cut that shit out
right now, man.
Oh, my God,
what the fuck, Jeremy?
Oh, hey guys, it's a joke.
I was kidding.
Oh yeah? Well, guess what?
It wasn't funny.
What is wrong with you?
Are you trying to fuck this up?
Oh, Jesus Christ, guys,
will you just relax?
It was just a joke, okay?
Heather, I'm sorry.
There's no such thing
as the Grinning Man.
The melon heads are
a different story, though.
Shut up!
[Craig] You can't
be this stupid. You can't.
Guys, calm down.
All right, just chill out.
Sit your ass down.
I oughta nut punch you
in your sleep.
-Okay, that was excessive.
-Olivia, it's okay. I'm fine.
-He's not gonna get to me.
-Heather, don't, okay?
You don't need to be
hearing this shit right now.
Agreed. Let's all just
try to have a nice,
relaxing, scare-free night.
How's that sound, huh?
-[uneasy music playing]
-[crickets chirping]
Yeah.
I think we'd all be
much better off
-with a little bit of this.
-[buttons tapping]
[electronic music playing]
You too. Up and pay the piper.
[sighs] God, I hate
this fucking song.
[electronic music continues]
This is much better.
Is it?
[electronic music continues]
You're so fine
That's why I know I've got to
Keep myself in line
We've gotta take
Things slow
'Cause there is so much more
I've gotta get to know
[uneasy music playing]
[dramatic sting]
-[crickets chirping]
-[forest animals calling]
-[crickets chirping]
-[man snoring]
-[crickets chirping]
-[forest animals calling]
[uneasy music playing]
[tense music playing]
[breathes heavily]
[clears throat]
Jesus Christ, Jeremy.
What the hell are you doing
out here?
You're asking me? Seriously?
I heard something out here
a little bit ago, okay?
I just... I needed
a little extra comfort
to get me through the rest
of the night. That's all.
Oh, yeah, you're gonna hear
something out here, Heather.
We're out in the
middle of the woods.
No, what I heard wasn't normal.
Didn't sound like
an animal either.
It was like a person,
yelling or calling out.
-Something like that.
-Hmm, spooky.
I'm done with this, goodnight.
I believe that
you heard something.
I didn't hear
what it was per se,
but I believe that you did.
So, what do you think it was?
[insects chirping]
Come on,
what do you think it was?
Melon head?
Oh, so we're back
to this again, are we?
I wanna know about them.
What are they?
All right. But me
telling you this story,
stays between us. You got that?
I swear I won't say anything.
As far as I know,
the melon heads are
some sort of genetic mutation
created by some fucked up doctor
that ran a private clinic,
somewhere around these woods.
It was a place
where unwanted children
were taken by their parents.
Kids with deformities,
especially water on the
brain syndrome, but
helping them and taking care
of the kids wasn't really
what the doc had in mind.
No, he saw this as a way
to do his own fucked up work
that was more doctor
death-like than anything,
if you know what I'm saying.
He liked to perform
twisted experiments on them,
like injecting more food
into their already swollen heads
just to see
how much they could take.
And sometimes he would
just keep on going, and going,
and going until they
would just burst.
That's disgusting.
-Yeah.
-[uneasy music continues]
But the doc eventually got
what was coming to him.
[screaming]
[Jeremy] One night,
all of his patients
got the best of him.
They ripped him to pieces
with their bare hands and teeth,
and they burned
the facility to the ground
and escaped out
into these woods.
And they formed
their own sort of tribe, really.
They mated with each other
and with their kids too.
Supposedly they're out there
stealing what they can
to survive.
Always looking for fresh blood.
-The end.
-[sighs]
I, uh... [clears throat]
...guess I should have
passed on that one.
-Ugh.
-[Jeremy] Hey, it's all right.
I mean, hell, it's just
a bullshit urban legend.
You're safe here with us.
Safe with me, anyways.
Jeremy, what the fuck
are you doing?
I'm just trying to
give you options, Heather.
-That's all.
-[Heather] Options?
What's wrong with you?
Olivia and Craig
are right over there.
-Are you crazy?
-Oh, come on, Heather.
Hey, look, I'm sorry, all right?
You know me.
I'm just all fucked up.
-I'll just go sleep it off.
-[Heather] Shut up, Jeremy.
Stay the hell away from me,
you son of a bitch.
-Yeah?
-[Heather] Olivia.
-[gasps]
-[flesh squelching]
[tense music playing]
[growls]
[gasps]
[Heather groans]
Heather!
-[monster snarls, grunts]
-[Heather groans]
[screams]
-[snarls]
-[groans]
[groans]
[yells, grunts]
[tense music playing]
[breathes heavily]
[shakily] Craig.
[tense music continues]
[growls]
[loud roaring]
[tense music continues]
[Heather whimpers]
[gasps]
[uneasy music playing]
[door creaks]
[melon head snarls]
[glass smashes]
[melon head snarls]
[uneasy music continues]
[panicked breathing]
-[gasps]
-[dramatic sting]
Craig.
[music turns dramatic]
[melon head snarls]
-[roars]
-[screams] No!
[roars]
[heart thumping]
[melon head groans]
[heart continues thumping]
-[gentle music playing]
-[birds chirping]
[crows cawing]
[uneasy music playing]
It's so dark.
No.
No.
No.
[sobs] No.
No. No.
No. No.
[screams] No!
No!
That's awful.
I'm sorry to hear your patient
was subjected to that ordeal.
She still, to this day,
wakes up screaming
saying that she can see them
moving around in the dark.
Do you believe it?
Should I believe it?
Yes, Lana, do just that.
Believe her.
And always remember,
she may be blind from
a medical standpoint,
but as far as I'm concerned,
that young woman has more sight
than most people
in the world today
because she knows the truth.
It's a shame it came
at such a cost.
Lana, thanks for your call.
-[uneasy music playing]
-[sighs]
Wow, so that was
a good start. Um...
Let's take some more.
Let's keep this train on track.
Uh... Next caller,
you're on the air.
And I-- And I see
that you would like
to remain anonymous
and we can certainly
do that for you.
Could you at least tell us
where you're calling from,
caller?
[anonymous caller, warped]
Hi, yes. I was a park ranger
in the Northern Cascade Range.
Oh, beautiful country out there.
[anonymous caller]
And dangerous.
I did specialize
in search and rescue.
I've spent weeks looking
for experienced campers
who've gotten lost.
[Harlan] Is there
something wrong with your phone?
Or are you doing that?
[anonymous caller] Um,
I am doing that, Mr. Dean.
My story is about
one such mission I went on
with a relatively new partner.
A group of campers had gotten
lost back in the wilds.
Now, they had been missing
for about six days.
Each night in the forest
reduced their chances
of coming out alive.
[uneasy music playing]
[breathes heavily]
-You came.
-Ma'am. Ma'am.
-You came. Good.
-Are you okay?
I'm James. This is Steven.
We're gonna need you to
answer the questions, okay?
-We're here to help you.
-[camper] Okay. Good.
[James] We're gonna try
to stand you up, okay?
[Steven] Let me get her back.
[James] We're gonna
lift you up, okay?
I can't walk.
[Steven] Gently, gently, gently.
-I can't walk.
-[Steven] It's okay, it's okay.
Okay, something might be broken.
-[camper] He did this to me.
-Holy fuck.
[camper] He did this to me.
-[Steven] Hey, it's okay.
-No, no, no!
[Steven]
They caught-- It's okay.
You have to sit--
We need to calm her down.
-[James] Hey. Easy.
-Hey, hey, hey.
[uneasy music playing]
[mysterious,
eerie music playing]
[Steven] Well, she's about
as stable as can be expected.
My guess,
I'll just leave the question.
-Who is he?
-I don't know.
See, that's fucking my point.
We don't know who he is,
but you saw exactly
what he did to her.
I know. Who would
do that to a woman?
James, she was raped.
Horrifically.
Don't delude yourself
on that fact.
I think we should
get some shut eye.
We can take turns taking watch.
-[owl hooting]
-Yeah, you're right.
You know what,
I'll take first watch.
I'm still keyed up.
[uneasy music continues]
[fire crackling]
Hey, Steve, you got
that holster unsnapped?
Yeah.
Do me a favor
and go shoot that fucking bird.
Uh, sounds like
there's more than one.
-[birds calling]
-[fire crackling]
Noisy fucking sparrow.
No, but you don't understand,
that is weird.
I don't hear anything.
No cicadas, no--
no night owls, no tree frogs.
Nothing. Just those
morning callers.
[birds continue singing]
[branches snapping]
[Steven] What was that?
[uneasy music playing]
[guns cocking]
-[birds calling]
-[uneasy music continues]
[dramatic sting]
-[gunshots]
-[creature screams]
[creature screams]
[tense music playing]
-Steven!
-Shit, James.
-What the fuck was that?
-I shot him.
Him? Him?
-Yeah, fucking him.
-Where?
Uh, over there.
Let's go, come on.
[fire crackling]
[creature growls]
[camper screams]
[Steven] Goddamn it.
No.
Fuck, James there's
more than one.
Let's pack this shit up.
Come on, man, we can at least
go get that blood trail.
[Steven] Yeah, fuck.
[mysterious music playing]
[grunts]
[mysterious music continues]
[groans]
Oh, man, what the fuck?
Do you think it's
where they come and die?
It's like it's some
sort of elephant graveyard.
[creature breathing heavily]
[guns cocks]
[uneasy music continues]
[gunshots]
-[footsteps approaching]
-[leaves crunching]
[creatures growl]
[birds chirping]
[creatures growl]
-[tense music playing]
-[creatures growl]
[screams]
-[gunshots]
-[creature screams]
-[tense music playing]
-[gunshots firing]
[Steven] James, over there.
There's a way out.
-[gunshots]
-[creature growls]
-[tense music playing]
-[gunshots]
[creature growls]
-[Steven screams]
-[flesh ripping]
[Steven] James.
[groans] Help me.
[slow tense music playing]
[flesh ripping]
[creatures growl]
[blood dripping]
[birds chirping]
[leaves rustling]
[crow cawing]
[James] I can't believe
I found you.
Gonna get you out
of there, though.
-Won't make it.
-[James] Easy.
-[camper groans]
-[James] Easy.
I'm sorry you found me.
-Can you...?
-Sorry.
-Can you move, walk, anything?
-I'm sorry you found me.
[camper] No.
[crow cawing]
No.
Sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry that you found me.
I won't make it.
[uneasy music playing]
Please.
-[heart beating]
-[inaudible]
[gunshot]
[anonymous caller]
I walked for quite some time,
and as far as the girl?
I never did come
across her again either.
-[line disconnects]
-Uh, hello?
Caller?
Well I guess he was done
with that story. Um...
So moving on,
we'll just take our next call.
Uh, hopefully a little
less dark this time.
I see we have another
mystery caller here named...
uh, Mr. Cold.
Oh, okay, Mr. Cold, you are on.
Go ahead and entertain us.
-[Mr. Cold] Harlan.
-[radio static]
[Harlan] Caller, please.
Can you turn your radio down,
or are you calling
from a vehicle?
[Mr. Cold]
Stop what you are doing.
Stop helping them.
-[radio static]
-[Harlan] Woah!
-Bump, what was that?
-I have no idea.
There are no storms in the area.
Well, we'll keep on that
and try to make sure
it doesn't happen again.
I'm dumping this call.
Send me another one.
All right, I'm sorry
again everybody,
there must be a full moon out
tonight or something.
We're getting a few oddballs
and I apologize. [chuckles]
I believe we're talking
to Joe from Ohio.
Hey, yes. Sir. Harlan...
[grunts] ...I love your show.
Hello Buckeye Joe...
[chuckles] ...and thank you.
So tell me a story, my friend.
That's why we're here.
Oh, yeah, sorry.
Um, I'll get right to it.
So there's been a story,
it's been passed around
right here at our
local bar, Gimlins,
for like a few years now
and it is really weird.
[Harlan] I love it already, Joe.
The weirder the better.
[Joe] Okay, uh,
well here it goes.
[lively music playing]
-[water rippling]
-[frogs croaking]
[frog croaking]
[man] Y'all see that?
Fish ain't biting.
[lively music continues]
I am truly sorry Marsha,
but I'm gonna have
to cut the tutelage
of your husband short for today.
[groans] I almost got it on.
Goddamn it, Gordon,
you ain't got that
tied on there yet?
As I said, I do apologize,
and I would gladly offer you
a discount on your next outing.
Brigadier First Hand Colonel
Oren P. Brundleman the Third,
Chief Explorer
and Cryptozoologer?
[Oren] No. Flip that over.
[Marsha] Oh.
[zip zipping]
This side came from
a champion of a man.
Fantastic Dan,
King of Cannons.
This side I found on
a highway cleanup crew
-outside of Lubbock, '97.
-Is that blood?
[Oren]
When you pursue the unknown,
you need a specialized
adventure suit.
One that provides flexibility...
protects you...
and breathability.
[sniffs, groans]
[lively music playing]
Welcome to my vessel
of discovery.
This won't take long,
but if it does,
there's hooch and bug spray
under the life vest.
[lively music continues]
Oren!
-Gordon.
-Marsha.
[Oren] Marsha.
Ugh. [spits]
[music turns whimsical]
-[electric static]
-[groans]
[machine humming]
[machine pulsing]
I hear you.
-[electric static]
-[groans]
Dear God, that smarts.
[quirky music playing]
[Oren] Oren, you clever dog.
You have found him.
[birds chirping]
[water sloshing]
-[quirky music continues]
-[birds chirping]
[groans]
[tense music playing]
[screams]
[Marsha moaning]
I want your spine, Oren.
[moaning]
Oh, Oren.
Oh, Oren, Gordon
was never this good.
-[moans]
-Oh, Marsha.
Your husband's
a terrible fisherman.
[Marsha]
He's terrible at sex too.
You like that, uh-huh?
[screams]
-[moans]
-[creature croaking]
[tense music playing]
-[creature screeches]
-[screams]
[moans]
[tense music continues]
-[retches]
-[screams]
-[machine beeping]
-[creature groans]
[roars]
[distorted laughter, grunting]
[distorted voice] You put
a baby in my wife, Oren.
[distorted voice]
Your spawn is kicking.
[distorted laughing]
[creature croaking]
I gotta get out of here.
[Oren screams]
[ominous music playing]
Why are you me?
-I ain't no meter maid.
-I'm Deputy Kaufman, sir.
Don't "sir" me. Me?
-Help me.
-Are you hurt?
[creature croaking]
-Did you hear that? There it is.
-Is something chasing you?
It wants to have our babies.
Hey! Hey, come back here.
Hey, buddy, we need
to get back to the road.
[leaves crunching]
[gunshot]
[soft music playing]
[coughs, groans]
It is still out there.
Don't let it get us.
It wants to have our babies.
[branches snapping]
-[dramatic music playing]
-[creature growls]
[creature growls]
-[uneasy music playing]
-[insects chirping]
-[gasps]
-[both scream]
-[bursts]
-[screams]
-[creature croaks]
-[insects chirping]
[Joe] And that's about it.
I mean it gets brought up
every now and then,
but everybody
just laughs it off.
Although nobody has ever seen
Oren again since that night.
Well, thank you, Joe.
Another good story.
I just think it's funny
how the last two stories
had to deal with some
interspecies coupling.
Either you guys have some
really weird kinks out there
or the monsters do.
-[radio static]
-[Harlan] Go ahead...
-[radio tuning]
-...Ms. Wheels.
I would love to hear
what you have to tell us.
Well, Harlan, um...
I wanna start off by saying
I've been a paramedic
for about five years now.
But what I'm about to tell you
really dots the eye
in weird in my career.
[Harlan] Well,
we're all ears, Wheels.
This happened of all nights
on Halloween night,
probably like four years ago,
beginning of my career.
-[birds chirping]
-[animals howling]
[radio reporter] This just in,
there have been several reports
across the Washburn
County area...
[snores]
...of unidentified falling
debris coming from the sky.
There have also been sightings
of unidentified shapes,
seemingly floating around
several local state parks.
Stay tuned as we continue
to gather more information.
-You'll never take me alive!
-Dad, Dad.
-[Dad] Oh.
-It's your son.
-[sighs] Oh, Dale. Oh.
-Uh, where's the bathroom?
Oh, of course.
Yeah, let's go in the house.
[chuckles] Big day tomorrow.
-[ominous music playing]
-[water burbling]
[radio reporter]
When we return, we'll be talking
with eyewitnesses from
last night's strange encounters.
And how some say
it may be linked
to an incident 40 years ago
in Hopkinsville, Kentucky.
Urban legend or real event?
We'll discuss more
when we return
from our commercial break.
[whimsical music playing]
[music turns suspenseful]
[Ashley screams] Dammit, Dale!
[Dale] What?
What are you yelling for?
You know I hate Halloween
and you take me to
your dad's place,
which is decorated like a
complete psycho killer's house.
This shit's everywhere. [sighs]
Oh, I told you about my dad
when he was a young kid.
He loves Halloween.
It's the only thing he truly
gets excited for anymore
these days with Mom gone
and his health not so good.
I always make it back
for Halloween.
[soft music playing]
You do know that
there is a hot tub here
just calling our names, right?
-I didn't even bring a swimsuit.
-You don't even need one.
Nobody's gonna see
you way out here.
-Your dad?
-[Dale chuckles]
He for sure won't mind.
Okay, well,
I'm getting drunk first.
It's the only way I'm making it
through tonight.
Deal.
And I get a massage.
Mr. Bones will even help.
[whimsical music continues]
[grunts]
-[suspenseful music playing]
-[goo squelching]
[sniffs]
What do you think it is?
Oh, I don't know.
Spacecraft...
Alien egg pod. [chuckles]
Maybe it's from NASA.
Who knows. [chuckles]
One thing's for sure.
This'll be great for my
front porch set up tonight.
[chuckles] Scare the kiddos
for sure. [laughs]
-Thank God.
-[music intensifies]
You know, I appreciate
you coming out here
to visit me on Halloween.
I know you're a busy man.
It's my pleasure, Dad.
I always enjoy
spending time with you,
especially on the best day
of the year, Halloween.
[Dad laughs]
Did you hear about
those weird UFO sightings
that people were calling
at the radio station about?
Happened last night.
People were saying they saw
objects streak across the sky
and then vanish,
weird colors and noises,
just like in all those
cheesy sci-fi movies
we'd watch
when I was growing up.
You don't wanna know the truth.
What'd you say?
[clicks tongue]
Yeah, we've got
a few things to finish up
before the trick-or-treaters
come around. [chuckles]
It was always your favorite
part of Halloween, of course.
-Still is.
-[chuckles]
["Space Fiends" by Truckstop]
Space fiends
Space fiends
[heavy breathing]
Take to the war
And violent things
Your celebrity
Face on my screen
And all your crying
Will do no good
So sign up now
You know that you should
Be a part of this
Come on and join
[eerie music playing]
Okay, Pops, we'll be back later.
Heading out to the annual
Halloween Lodge party.
Okay, you kids have fun.
[chuckles]
Hey, Ashley, nice costume!
[chuckles]
-[sighs]
-[eerie music continues]
[sniffs]
-[water dripping]
-[eerie music continues]
[alien screeches]
-[Dad grunts]
-[glass shattering]
[groans]
[Alien whispering] Billy.
Billy. Billy.
[alien screeching]
Billy.
Billy.
-[gasps]
-[bulb shattering]
[Alien] We know you can hear us.
It's been a long time, Billy.
-[glass shattering]
-How did you find me?
[Alien] It took us a long
time to find you again.
Why are you doing this to me?
[Alien] You're coming home
with us.
You're ruining Halloween.
-[electric static]
-[alien screeches]
-[heart beating]
-[glass shattering]
[electric static]
[heat beating]
[Alien] We didn't get you then,
but we'll get you now.
[ominous music playing]
[Dale] Dad?
-Dad!
-They got me.
[alien babbling]
I hate Halloween.
[Wheels] And that was the story
he was telling us
as we took him to the ICU.
Honestly, I don't think
any of us
really knew what to make of it.
So we kind of just
let him babble.
But in a weird way,
it kind of calmed him down,
helped him cling on until
we made it to the hospital.
[Harlan] Well that is amazing.
Did the gentleman
survive his incident?
Oh, yeah. He pulled through
like a champ
and all the nurses
at the hospital
really loved his company.
And now--
now he has two really
interesting stories to tell.
[Harlan] Well, that's fantastic.
I'm glad to hear
he is still among us.
I'd hate to have him pop up
in one of our ghost episodes
down the road.
So, looks like
we've got the barber
down in Texas on line one.
The barber, you're live
on the Truth Serum.
[barber] Hello? Yeah.
Hey, I love the show.
Hold on just a sec.
I'm sorry to interrupt you,
but you say
your name is the Barber,
so you cut hair, right?
Yeah, yeah,
I cut hair, man. Yeah.
So how come the alias then?
[barber] Well, I've got some
pretty exclusive customers
and it just wouldn't be good.
Okay, now you've
got my attention.
Tell us what kind
of cryptid you saw.
I saw a chupacabra.
Or two of them.
You're in way
out West Texas, right?
[barber] Yes, West Texas.
What part of West Texas,
exactly?
Let's just say West Texas, man.
Okay, I totally understand.
Let's just get
into your chupacabra story.
[barber] So like
these nerdy guys,
they build this wall of TVs
that seem to run into
like one big cable.
That cable goes out
to the back of this van
which, it's got like this huge
satellite dish on top of it.
After that's done,
that's when those
jefes get here,
you know, the bosses.
The jefes gathered to watch
this closed-circuit TV thing,
and where the cameras
are filming,
man, I don't know.
And to tell the truth,
I don't want to know.
This sounds like
some crazy movie
you'd see on the B movie
channel or something.
I'm-- But I'm all ears, Barber,
please continue.
[barber] So at this warehouse,
the jefes, they choose
a runner to represent them,
each one of them.
Now, who these people are
and why they'd
volunteer to do this,
man, you got me bro.
I guess, like,
low level street dealers,
they haven't produced or either
they pissed off thejefes.
They're put in
this dark warehouse
and that's when
they call in El Guapo.
And he's carrying like
these two dog carriers,
goes to a small door
in the alley,
and sends the chupacabras
in through the opening
to hunt down the runners, right?
All while he blows
a silent whistle
hanging around his neck.
[Harlan] Come on, now!
[chuckles]
Believe it or not, man,
I've seen it
with my own two eyes.
Mr. Barber, so then
what happens to the runners?
[barber] The dogs do
what dogs do.
[speaking Spanish]
[barber] They hunt.
-[dog whistle blows]
-[uneasy music playing]
[chupacabra panting]
-Who the fuck are y'all?
-Who the fuck are you?
None of your business, bean boy.
Was everyone kidnapped
and brought here
against their will
or was that just me?
-I was.
-Samoan, I was too.
So we all have that in common?
Yeah. And we got
our asses fucking kicked.
We have these numbers
branded on our head.
-I know what this is.
-What is it?
-This is payback.
-Payback for what?
Payback for screwing
over my boss.
So what, you're a dealer?
This ain't good, man.
You must be a rocket scientist.
What ain't good?
This. These numbers on our head.
Us being in here together,
y'all better get ready to fight.
Fight?
-Like each other?
-No, something worse.
What you mean by that,vato?
-[uneasy music playing]
-[chains jangling]
-[chupacabra panting]
-Hey everyone, shut up.
-[chains jangling]
-[dramatic rock music playing]
Bam, bam, let's go!
-[screams]
-[chupacabra growls, roars]
[in Spanish]
[dramatic rock music continues]
-[chupacabra growls]
-[screams]
-[in Spanish]
-[laughs]
[inaudible]
[chupacabra barks]
[in English]
No, no, definitely don't--
No, not-- back it up. Back.
See this motherfucker?
[screams]
-[chupacabra panting]
-[sobbing]
I paid you good solid dollars,
American dollars, I'll tell you,
which is number one currency
in the fucking world.
And what do you do?
You go and get killed.
You dumb motherfucker.
Y'all gonna drive me
to drinking, bunch of assholes.
[chupacabra snarling]
[laughing]
[in Spanish]
-[chupacabra snarling]
-[screams]
[in English]
Really, he got his ass ate.
He got his ass ate.
[in Spanish]
[screams]
[men laughing]
[men laughing]
[chupacabra panting]
[in English]
It's me, it's me, it's me.
-You okay, dude?
-Yeah, for now.
-What the hell are those things?
-The chupacabras.
-Chupacabras?
-Yes.
They're real, man.
And this is a game.
A game? Like a game of survival?
Yeah. And it's game over, man.
[shushes]
-Run!
-[chupacabra barking]
Look, jump that,
we'll be safe.
I will, but you won't.
-[dramatic music continues]
-[chupacabras barking]
[boy] What the fuck
are you doing, man?
Fuck you, I ain't dying today.
What are you doing?
Wait a minute, man!
Get back, you...
[speaks indistinctly]
[chupacabras snarling]
Fuck you, you two
hairless bastards.
-Nice knowing you, asshole.
-[One screams]
[in Spanish]
[in English]
Congratulations,cabrn.
[indistinct chatter]
Yeah, man, and that's about it.
Chupacabras do exist.
They're being used by the
Mex-cartel as killing machines.
Wow.
That's just simply insane.
Okay my friend,
we appreciate the story.
We'll send you a Truth Serum
T-shirt for being on with us.
Hold on the line
for our Mr. Bump
and he will get you
squared away.
Well, there you
have it, listeners.
Chupacabras do exist
and they're being used for
killing people down in Texas.
Do you believe it?
Do I believe it?
Absolutely.
Absolutely questionable.
[chuckles] So stay tuned
and we'll be right back
after this break.
[announcer] The Truth Serum
will be right back
after a short commercial break.
-Bump, do you hear that?
-Yeah, what the hell is that?
I don't know, but it sounds like
that weird call from earlier.
Are we picking up another
source or something?
Or is somebody using a jammer?
I'll take care of it.
[unsettling music playing]
[mouse clicking]
[announcer] Now back
to Major Harlan Dean
and his Truth Serum.
Don't turn out those lights.
Harlan. Harlan,
the spot's over. You're back on.
[Harlan] Oh, shit. Here we go.
From Dover, Massachusetts.
Caller, you're on the air.
[caller gasping]
Hello, Major.
-[feedback squealing]
-Oh, yeah.
Whoa there partner.
Turn that radio down, will ya?
[caller] Is that better?
Yes, okay, go ahead, caller.
[caller] You'll have
to forgive me.
I have a strange
question to ask.
[Harlan]
You must have just tuned in.
I've been dealing
with strange all night.
-What's your question?
-I've got a GoPro...
[gasps]
...that was covered
in glowing goo.
And the footage is crazy.
I sent it... [gasps]
...to your email.
I think these two boys
captured footage of...
the Dover Demon.
It's rolling, it's rolling,
it's rolling.
-[birds chirping]
-[electronic music playing]
[firecracker pops]
[electronic music continues]
You gonna learn
how to hit today, pussy?
Maybe.
Paul, I don't like
baseball movies.
I like scary movies.
Have you seen
Nightmare on Elm Street,
Texas Chainsaw, Halloween?
-Oh, hockey mask.
-Jesus.
What the fuck?
I can't wait to see
boobs in real life.
[Elliot] I'm gonna see
so many boobs.
What do you think
about the demon?
No one's seen
Dover's claim to fame
since our parents were kids.
I don't even think
it qualifies as a cryptid.
Probably just
a retarded hairless
baby moose or something.
[Elliot] Corey thinks
it's an alien that CTech--
Corey thinks
everything is aliens.
CTech fired him and Tank for it.
Now he's a full schizo
pothead grownup
living in his mom's garage.
He's still
a smart-ass scientist.
[electronic music continues]
[Paul] One more time. Grip it.
Grip it. Call the house.
Grip it,
grip it.
-Call the house.
-That's our only ball!
[leaves rustling]
No, don't touch it.
It could have a bacteria
or flesh-eating virus
or something.
Let's take it to the lab.
[Corey] Where did you come from?
-[pounding on door]
-Corey, Tink, let us in, man.
-Come on, no bullshit.
-[dog barking]
[buzzer buzzing]
-[door opens, closes]
-Dude, what took you so long?
[Elliot] You're not
gonna believe--
[Paul] Seriously, man.
You're gonna look
at this thing or what?
All right, all right,
cool your jets, man.
Call the house.
You have a specimen.
We're gonna hypothesize,
rationalize, analyze,
plagiarize,
cross the T's dot the...
turns out to be some kind of
new species of retarded moose.
-We'll call Nat G.
-[growls]
[dramatic music playing]
But...
if it does turn out to be
some kind of ET, Elliot,
what will you do?
[Elliot screaming]
[yells, grunts]
[sighs]
I'll tell you what I'm gonna do.
I'll do what I do best.
Decode that genome, baby.
Figure out who made it,
where it came from.
That's no retarded moose.
[alien screeches]
[Tink screams]
Call the house.
Whatever this is,
CTech is obviously behind it.
And this time, they're not
gonna be able to laugh
and toss us out with the trash.
[chuckles] Oh, no.
We got the proof in the
decomposing pudding, baby.
This time they're gonna listen
and they're gonna pay
'cause we got Tink,
tantalizing and titillating
both the cerebrum
and the pituitary
with their big old brains
and those big old boobies.
-[laughs]
-[Corey] And last but not least,
we got our new muscle.
The slayer of extraterrestrial
beasts,
obviously slinging some
serious hog down there.
Thick as a beer can!
Long as my arm!
Ladies, look out!
Put all that together
and you've got one badass,
unstoppable mystery team
coming to fuck up your day.
[electronic music continues]
There's just one problem.
-What?
-What?
Flesh-eating virus!
[all scream]
-[electronic music continues]
-[dog barking]
[flesh squelches]
[both scream]
[static crackles]
[gasps] So, what do you think
after watching
the footage? That's...
That's proof, isn't it? [gasps]
I don't know if that
was proof of anything
except to wash your hands
and don't bag up dead aliens.
[chuckles]
[gasps] Wash my hands?
Oh, I wish I would've
thought of that one.
[wheezes]
Might have to get
a drink here in a little bit.
I think we have time
for one more call.
And we are talking to Sean.
Go ahead, Sean.
You are on the Truth Serum.
[Sean] I kind of
wanted to talk about
those callers that sounded
like they were pranking you.
Yeah, pranks can be funny,
but sometimes
-they don't go as planned.
-Well, people don't,
you know, realize what
kind of repercussions
behavior like that can have.
It seems funny at first,
but you never know
what way it can turn.
And-- Are you gonna
tell us why, though?
I have a feeling
that this is where
your story is starting from.
[Sean] Yeah, I'm from
Bladenboro, North Carolina.
-The home of the beast.
-[unsettling music playing]
[chain clinking]
You see, I told you there'd be
something in my dad's freezer
we could use.
Let's give it, like,
another half hour
-and then we'll get started.
-Sounds good to me.
You sure this is a good idea?
What's that doing up there?
-What?
-[clears throat]
Either you tell me now or...
Oh, I'll read it
on your tombstones
after Dad's done killing you.
Okay, Leah, here's how it is.
Do you wanna go to the movies
with me on Friday?
[scoffs] That's it.
You guys are in big trouble.
Leah.
It's about the beast.
-What?
-You know, the beast.
Remember the story?
Yeah, Sean,
I know about the beast.
Who the hell
in Bladenboro doesn't. So?
So, it's back.
And we're gonna prove
it's not just story.
I'm free Saturday too.
[Sean] We have a solid plan
and it's gonna work.
A solid plan, huh?
A monster hunt is a solid plan?
Yeah, actually it is.
Oh, really? How so?
I would love to hear this.
I mean,
how do you know that this thing
is even still walking around?
Didn't that story happen
like a really long time ago?
Yeah, but recently
there's been a lot
of animal attacks.
Pets going missing,
dying left and right,
just like when the beast
came the first time around.
Do you even watch the news?
I really hate to bring
you back to reality
but, pets die from
wild animals all the time.
There are numerous
culprits out there
that could be doing that.
Like coyotes, for one.
-That's probably the best bet.
-Really?
Well shit,
that makes total
sense when you say it.
It's the coyotes
decapitating them
and drinking all their blood.
Typical coyote behavior.
Mm, mm, mm.
So, do you, uh,
want to help us out
with this or...?
And watch two make
total fools of yourselves?
[scoffs] Absolutely. I'm so in.
Made yourself comfortable?
We're gonna start
surveillance soon.
So, this is obviously
what we bait it in, with
cat videos and pop-up ads,
right? [laughs]
Yeah, not quite.
See, what we're gonna do
is we're not only
lowering it in with
fresh raw meat, which is
what it's used to eating.
We're gonna hit it
with something else.
Something it's a little
more familiar with.
[beast growling over speaker]
Sean, what in the hell is that?
Well, that...
was the only existing
recording of the beast ever.
Supposedly someone got it just
a couple days
before its last sighting.
Now, it's our ace card.
-You ready to roll, Matt?
-[Matt] Moment of truth.
[electronic music playing]
Oh, my God.
I can't take this anymore.
-[Sean] You've given up already?
-Yeah, what the hell?
Talk about patience, geez.
Sean, I can literally
only waste so much of my time
before it actually
becomes impossible
to continue doing so.
What did you think
was gonna happen?
It was just gonna pop out
after five minutes?
Goodnight, Sean.
-Matt.
-Yes?
Do you want me to rub
your feet or something?
So...?
So? Go get it.
[chuckles] Oh, good.
I love handling that thing.
I'm actually considering
making it a hobby of mine.
-[suspenseful music playing]
-[dog howling]
[chain creaking]
[reporter] Report
suspicious activity
and call 9-1-1
for immediate response.
Expect delay,
searches of personal property.
-Take personal security...
-Leah.
[reporter] ...to avoid
becoming a victim.
Sean, what the hell?
No, I told you I'm done.
I watched you fail.
What else do you need from me?
-Leah, you gotta come here.
-[reporter] ...and local radio--
No, uh, I don't.
I gotta sit right here
and pretend you don't exist.
-Leah.
-[news continues in background]
You gotta come help.
Please.
[Leah] Sean?
[reporter] ...of persons that
exhibit signs of infection.
-[TV clicks]
-Sean, what's wrong?
Sean?
Sean, what's going on?
Where is Matt?
Sean? You're freaking me out.
Where is Matt?
[sighs] I-- I don't know.
One moment he was here
and now he's gone.
-What do you mean gone?
-Gone, Leah, gone as in missing.
Do you see him right now?
Maybe he just
got bored and went
home or something.
He would've said something
if he went home.
I told him to take
this down for me.
When I went to check
on it, the meat was gone
and so was he.
[suspenseful music playing]
Sean, what do you think
you're doing?
I'm looking for my friend.
You don't even give
a shit about him,
-so why do you care?
-Listen to me.
We have to go back
and call for help.
-You understand?
-No, we gotta go look for him.
-He needs us right now.
-Sean, please.
-[Matt growls, howls]
-[gunshot]
[gasps]
-[owl hooting]
-[suspenseful music playing]
[laughs] I got him.
I heard it call.
I had to find him.
Thank God I got here in time.
It was gonna get you kids.
What are you guys doing out here
with this thing running around?
We're looking for another boy.
His best friend,
have you seen him?
Boy?
There ain't no boy out here.
Just that son of a bitch thing.
And when it killed my dog,
the only thing I ever
loved in my life,
and he took--
he took his fucking head.
-I can't believe I got him.
-Mister, listen,
we have to call
the police, okay?
They need to know about this.
I got him, I got him.
I can't believe I got him.
-Do you understand me?
-Son of a bitch.
Where do you live?
Do you live near here?
Mister, please?
Sean, don't touch that.
[gun cocking]
-Oh, fuck.
-[blood spurting]
I didn't know.
I swear, I didn't know.
It was an accident.
Stupid asshole.
-It was a prank.
-[sobs] Oh, God.
You killed him,
you motherfucker.
I swear to God,
I'll fucking kill--
-[gunshot]
-[screams]
You saw it. He attacked me.
I had to protect myself.
-I'm calling the police.
-Leah.
-Run!
-No.
[gunshot]
-[somber music playing]
-No.
I'm sorry, son,
but I can't go to jail.
It was an accident.
-Forgive me.
-[gun cocking]
[dramatic music playing]
-[beast growling]
-[hunter screams]
Son,
save me.
[beast snarling]
[dramatic music continues]
No.
[electronic music playing]
[hunter screaming in distance]
[beast howling]
[Sean] So yeah, that's how
a simple, stupid prank
got my best friend
and my sister killed.
So anyone out there
that's listening,
you're thinking
about doing a prank,
there's some things you just
can't take back.
Well.
I thought these stories
were going to be
at least a little fun.
Sorry about that downer
to all my listeners out there.
This has definitely taken a turn
down a sadder path
than expected.
Oh, okay. Well,
I'm getting the signal.
It's that time.
This concludes this
episode of the Truth Serum.
I wanna thank our callers for
sharing their stories with us.
For those listeners who
love to hear about things
that go bump in the night,
we never know what's just
lurking beyond the shadows,
hiding, waiting, watching.
Join us next week when
our topic of conversation
will be haunted highways.
Good evening. And sleep tight.
[announcer] And now,
it's time to say goodnight
to the Truth Serum
and hello to our next block
of easy-listening jazz,
brought to you by WQRK,
easy listening.
[light jazz music playing]
[sighs]
-[clears throat]
-[dramatic sting]
You know, you could
knock next time.
And what would be
the fun in that?
I take it you recorded
it all the way
like you were instructed?
-You seem like a smart man.
-Wasn't that hard at all.
[suspenseful music overlapping]
[Harlan]
What'll happen to the callers?
It's not your concern, Mr. Dean.
Don't let it cost you any sleep.
You know, one of these days,
this little charade of yours...
it's not gonna work.
Despite your best
attempts to conceal it,
the truth will get out there.
For the sake
of all mankind, Mr. Dean,
pray it never does.
Goodnight.
Summer's kiss
Winter's cold
[demonic voice] Harlan,
I warned you.
You didn't listen.
[dramatic sting]
This time, Harlan,
it's time to sign off.
["Weird" by Francis Lima]
Something's calling
Oh, my God
I'm gonna tell you what
This fear I feel inside me
The creepers screeching
In my yard
It's rising in the night
I cannot breathe
I can't believe
Is that disease on my mind?
The creepers screeching
In my yard
It's rising in the night
The silver moonlight
Is hurting my eyes
Fallen once
You make me blind
What is this weird thing
We have lost in lies?
The red dolls rising again
I hope it comes to an end
Oh, my God
I'll tell you what
This fear I feel inside
The creepers screeching
In my yard
It's rising in the night
I cannot breathe
I can't believe
Is that disease on my mind?
The creepers screeching
In my yard
This rising in the night
Oh, my God
I'll tell you what
This fear I feel inside
The creepers screeching
In my yard
It's rising in the night
I cannot breathe
I can't believe
Is that disease on my mind?
The creeper's screeching
In my yard
It's rising in the night
And I'm still alive
Oh, my God
I'll tell you what
This fear I feel inside
The creeper's screeching
In my yard
It's rising in the night
[upbeat rock music playing]
The buildings of the cities
Steeped in a drenching rain
The fog is forming
Every pattern in the night
A dog was ripped to pieces
A woman has been slain
Oh how I dreaded what
I knew I would find
My clothes are blood-stained
I hope I can explain
The curse of love won't moan
The curse of love won't moan
Oh
The curse of love won't moan
Oh
Like entropy
A form of insanity
Insanity
Between
The light reflections
[sings indistinctly]
Can I confide in you
As I confess these crimes?
I'm not like Jack the Ripper
In fact, I have been framed
I realize you lied
It was you this whole time
As I slowly die
You drive into the night
The curse of love won't moan
Oh
The curse of love won't moan
Oh
The curse of love won't moan
Oh
Like entropy
A form of insanity
[woman screaming]
[radio static]
[announcer 1]
You're listening to WQRK,
your home for easy listening.
[groovy synth music playing]
[announcer 2] And welcome
to the scary part of the day,
when all manner
of ghosts and ghouls
take over our airwaves.
It's time
for everybody's favorite,
the Truth Serum.
[laughs]
[uneasy music playing]
[Harlan] Good evening,
ladies and gentlemen
and others, and welcome
to our program.
I'm your host from the
Edge of the Unknown,
Major Harlan Dean,
and I'm about to inject you
with a little bit of
the Truth Serum.
As many of you may already know,
today marks the beginning of
the annual Moth Man Festival
in Point Pleasant,
West Virginia.
And to commemorate
this wonderful event,
I've elected to dedicate
this entire show
to the theme of cryptozoology.
I guess for a lack of grace,
we're talking about
monsters tonight, everybody.
Tonight, however, every call,
every piece of information
will be dedicated solely
to these entities
we refer to as...
[rock music playing]
[Harlan] Now,
folks, let me first
start out this broadcast
by thanking each and every
one of you for joining me
on what is sure to be
an exceptional episode.
And also give a shout out
to my faithful engineer
and friend Brandon Bump.
The thing that goes
bump in the night,
day in and day out,
this man keeps us running
with nary any hiccups
and never complains.
Never complains.
Not on the air, anyways.
So if you wouldn't mind,
Mr. Bump,
let some things
go bump in the night
and welcome to Truth Serum.
You're our first caller
of the evening, Lana.
[Lana] Hello Harlan.
Uh, thanks for taking my call.
I am actually a registered
psychiatric nurse,
and I work as a caretaker
in my patient's home
somewhere in the
Eastern States area.
There's only so much
information that I'm willing
or able to divulge.
I-- I hope you understand.
[Harlan] Oh, Lana,
I completely understand
and I want to assure you
that you're in good hands
and your protection is of
the utmost importance to me.
Thank you, sir.
I really appreciate your
understanding because,
I really want you to hear
this story I have to tell you.
Have you ever heard of
something called a melon head?
-[uneasy music playing]
-[crickets chirping]
[Craig] Hey, how you doing?
-[sighs] Extremely nervous.
-[gentle music playing]
How about you?
You holding up okay?
[smooches]
You know, there's no shame
in postponing this campfire
for another night.
-[sighs]
-I think you coming this far
is a huge positive step
in the right direction.
Aww.
That's so sweet of you trying to
defend me and my shortcomings.
Well, I really wouldn't call
being afraid of the dark
exactly a shortcoming.
There are way more ridiculous
fears to have than that one.
Like the fear of buttons.
The fuck is that shit all about?
Is that a fact?
[gentle music continues]
-[uneasy music playing]
-[match strikes]
-[eerie howling]
-[insects chirping]
Yeah, great.
That's gonna help a lot.
Come on, you're doing great.
Don't let that
mess up your game face.
You got this.
Yeah, here's to the chick
with the big balls. Salute.
Thanks, guys. But we're not
exactly out of the woods yet,
and I still have
like seven hours
before we can call this
a complete success.
Hey, take the compliments
where you can because...
we might not be
so forgiving in the morning.
[Jeremy scoffs]
My thoughts exactly.
I mean, who's to say we'll even
make it till morning anyways.
We are in the Grinning Man's
territory after all.
Hey, you cut that shit out
right now, man.
Oh, my God,
what the fuck, Jeremy?
Oh, hey guys, it's a joke.
I was kidding.
Oh yeah? Well, guess what?
It wasn't funny.
What is wrong with you?
Are you trying to fuck this up?
Oh, Jesus Christ, guys,
will you just relax?
It was just a joke, okay?
Heather, I'm sorry.
There's no such thing
as the Grinning Man.
The melon heads are
a different story, though.
Shut up!
[Craig] You can't
be this stupid. You can't.
Guys, calm down.
All right, just chill out.
Sit your ass down.
I oughta nut punch you
in your sleep.
-Okay, that was excessive.
-Olivia, it's okay. I'm fine.
-He's not gonna get to me.
-Heather, don't, okay?
You don't need to be
hearing this shit right now.
Agreed. Let's all just
try to have a nice,
relaxing, scare-free night.
How's that sound, huh?
-[uneasy music playing]
-[crickets chirping]
Yeah.
I think we'd all be
much better off
-with a little bit of this.
-[buttons tapping]
[electronic music playing]
You too. Up and pay the piper.
[sighs] God, I hate
this fucking song.
[electronic music continues]
This is much better.
Is it?
[electronic music continues]
You're so fine
That's why I know I've got to
Keep myself in line
We've gotta take
Things slow
'Cause there is so much more
I've gotta get to know
[uneasy music playing]
[dramatic sting]
-[crickets chirping]
-[forest animals calling]
-[crickets chirping]
-[man snoring]
-[crickets chirping]
-[forest animals calling]
[uneasy music playing]
[tense music playing]
[breathes heavily]
[clears throat]
Jesus Christ, Jeremy.
What the hell are you doing
out here?
You're asking me? Seriously?
I heard something out here
a little bit ago, okay?
I just... I needed
a little extra comfort
to get me through the rest
of the night. That's all.
Oh, yeah, you're gonna hear
something out here, Heather.
We're out in the
middle of the woods.
No, what I heard wasn't normal.
Didn't sound like
an animal either.
It was like a person,
yelling or calling out.
-Something like that.
-Hmm, spooky.
I'm done with this, goodnight.
I believe that
you heard something.
I didn't hear
what it was per se,
but I believe that you did.
So, what do you think it was?
[insects chirping]
Come on,
what do you think it was?
Melon head?
Oh, so we're back
to this again, are we?
I wanna know about them.
What are they?
All right. But me
telling you this story,
stays between us. You got that?
I swear I won't say anything.
As far as I know,
the melon heads are
some sort of genetic mutation
created by some fucked up doctor
that ran a private clinic,
somewhere around these woods.
It was a place
where unwanted children
were taken by their parents.
Kids with deformities,
especially water on the
brain syndrome, but
helping them and taking care
of the kids wasn't really
what the doc had in mind.
No, he saw this as a way
to do his own fucked up work
that was more doctor
death-like than anything,
if you know what I'm saying.
He liked to perform
twisted experiments on them,
like injecting more food
into their already swollen heads
just to see
how much they could take.
And sometimes he would
just keep on going, and going,
and going until they
would just burst.
That's disgusting.
-Yeah.
-[uneasy music continues]
But the doc eventually got
what was coming to him.
[screaming]
[Jeremy] One night,
all of his patients
got the best of him.
They ripped him to pieces
with their bare hands and teeth,
and they burned
the facility to the ground
and escaped out
into these woods.
And they formed
their own sort of tribe, really.
They mated with each other
and with their kids too.
Supposedly they're out there
stealing what they can
to survive.
Always looking for fresh blood.
-The end.
-[sighs]
I, uh... [clears throat]
...guess I should have
passed on that one.
-Ugh.
-[Jeremy] Hey, it's all right.
I mean, hell, it's just
a bullshit urban legend.
You're safe here with us.
Safe with me, anyways.
Jeremy, what the fuck
are you doing?
I'm just trying to
give you options, Heather.
-That's all.
-[Heather] Options?
What's wrong with you?
Olivia and Craig
are right over there.
-Are you crazy?
-Oh, come on, Heather.
Hey, look, I'm sorry, all right?
You know me.
I'm just all fucked up.
-I'll just go sleep it off.
-[Heather] Shut up, Jeremy.
Stay the hell away from me,
you son of a bitch.
-Yeah?
-[Heather] Olivia.
-[gasps]
-[flesh squelching]
[tense music playing]
[growls]
[gasps]
[Heather groans]
Heather!
-[monster snarls, grunts]
-[Heather groans]
[screams]
-[snarls]
-[groans]
[groans]
[yells, grunts]
[tense music playing]
[breathes heavily]
[shakily] Craig.
[tense music continues]
[growls]
[loud roaring]
[tense music continues]
[Heather whimpers]
[gasps]
[uneasy music playing]
[door creaks]
[melon head snarls]
[glass smashes]
[melon head snarls]
[uneasy music continues]
[panicked breathing]
-[gasps]
-[dramatic sting]
Craig.
[music turns dramatic]
[melon head snarls]
-[roars]
-[screams] No!
[roars]
[heart thumping]
[melon head groans]
[heart continues thumping]
-[gentle music playing]
-[birds chirping]
[crows cawing]
[uneasy music playing]
It's so dark.
No.
No.
No.
[sobs] No.
No. No.
No. No.
[screams] No!
No!
That's awful.
I'm sorry to hear your patient
was subjected to that ordeal.
She still, to this day,
wakes up screaming
saying that she can see them
moving around in the dark.
Do you believe it?
Should I believe it?
Yes, Lana, do just that.
Believe her.
And always remember,
she may be blind from
a medical standpoint,
but as far as I'm concerned,
that young woman has more sight
than most people
in the world today
because she knows the truth.
It's a shame it came
at such a cost.
Lana, thanks for your call.
-[uneasy music playing]
-[sighs]
Wow, so that was
a good start. Um...
Let's take some more.
Let's keep this train on track.
Uh... Next caller,
you're on the air.
And I-- And I see
that you would like
to remain anonymous
and we can certainly
do that for you.
Could you at least tell us
where you're calling from,
caller?
[anonymous caller, warped]
Hi, yes. I was a park ranger
in the Northern Cascade Range.
Oh, beautiful country out there.
[anonymous caller]
And dangerous.
I did specialize
in search and rescue.
I've spent weeks looking
for experienced campers
who've gotten lost.
[Harlan] Is there
something wrong with your phone?
Or are you doing that?
[anonymous caller] Um,
I am doing that, Mr. Dean.
My story is about
one such mission I went on
with a relatively new partner.
A group of campers had gotten
lost back in the wilds.
Now, they had been missing
for about six days.
Each night in the forest
reduced their chances
of coming out alive.
[uneasy music playing]
[breathes heavily]
-You came.
-Ma'am. Ma'am.
-You came. Good.
-Are you okay?
I'm James. This is Steven.
We're gonna need you to
answer the questions, okay?
-We're here to help you.
-[camper] Okay. Good.
[James] We're gonna try
to stand you up, okay?
[Steven] Let me get her back.
[James] We're gonna
lift you up, okay?
I can't walk.
[Steven] Gently, gently, gently.
-I can't walk.
-[Steven] It's okay, it's okay.
Okay, something might be broken.
-[camper] He did this to me.
-Holy fuck.
[camper] He did this to me.
-[Steven] Hey, it's okay.
-No, no, no!
[Steven]
They caught-- It's okay.
You have to sit--
We need to calm her down.
-[James] Hey. Easy.
-Hey, hey, hey.
[uneasy music playing]
[mysterious,
eerie music playing]
[Steven] Well, she's about
as stable as can be expected.
My guess,
I'll just leave the question.
-Who is he?
-I don't know.
See, that's fucking my point.
We don't know who he is,
but you saw exactly
what he did to her.
I know. Who would
do that to a woman?
James, she was raped.
Horrifically.
Don't delude yourself
on that fact.
I think we should
get some shut eye.
We can take turns taking watch.
-[owl hooting]
-Yeah, you're right.
You know what,
I'll take first watch.
I'm still keyed up.
[uneasy music continues]
[fire crackling]
Hey, Steve, you got
that holster unsnapped?
Yeah.
Do me a favor
and go shoot that fucking bird.
Uh, sounds like
there's more than one.
-[birds calling]
-[fire crackling]
Noisy fucking sparrow.
No, but you don't understand,
that is weird.
I don't hear anything.
No cicadas, no--
no night owls, no tree frogs.
Nothing. Just those
morning callers.
[birds continue singing]
[branches snapping]
[Steven] What was that?
[uneasy music playing]
[guns cocking]
-[birds calling]
-[uneasy music continues]
[dramatic sting]
-[gunshots]
-[creature screams]
[creature screams]
[tense music playing]
-Steven!
-Shit, James.
-What the fuck was that?
-I shot him.
Him? Him?
-Yeah, fucking him.
-Where?
Uh, over there.
Let's go, come on.
[fire crackling]
[creature growls]
[camper screams]
[Steven] Goddamn it.
No.
Fuck, James there's
more than one.
Let's pack this shit up.
Come on, man, we can at least
go get that blood trail.
[Steven] Yeah, fuck.
[mysterious music playing]
[grunts]
[mysterious music continues]
[groans]
Oh, man, what the fuck?
Do you think it's
where they come and die?
It's like it's some
sort of elephant graveyard.
[creature breathing heavily]
[guns cocks]
[uneasy music continues]
[gunshots]
-[footsteps approaching]
-[leaves crunching]
[creatures growl]
[birds chirping]
[creatures growl]
-[tense music playing]
-[creatures growl]
[screams]
-[gunshots]
-[creature screams]
-[tense music playing]
-[gunshots firing]
[Steven] James, over there.
There's a way out.
-[gunshots]
-[creature growls]
-[tense music playing]
-[gunshots]
[creature growls]
-[Steven screams]
-[flesh ripping]
[Steven] James.
[groans] Help me.
[slow tense music playing]
[flesh ripping]
[creatures growl]
[blood dripping]
[birds chirping]
[leaves rustling]
[crow cawing]
[James] I can't believe
I found you.
Gonna get you out
of there, though.
-Won't make it.
-[James] Easy.
-[camper groans]
-[James] Easy.
I'm sorry you found me.
-Can you...?
-Sorry.
-Can you move, walk, anything?
-I'm sorry you found me.
[camper] No.
[crow cawing]
No.
Sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry that you found me.
I won't make it.
[uneasy music playing]
Please.
-[heart beating]
-[inaudible]
[gunshot]
[anonymous caller]
I walked for quite some time,
and as far as the girl?
I never did come
across her again either.
-[line disconnects]
-Uh, hello?
Caller?
Well I guess he was done
with that story. Um...
So moving on,
we'll just take our next call.
Uh, hopefully a little
less dark this time.
I see we have another
mystery caller here named...
uh, Mr. Cold.
Oh, okay, Mr. Cold, you are on.
Go ahead and entertain us.
-[Mr. Cold] Harlan.
-[radio static]
[Harlan] Caller, please.
Can you turn your radio down,
or are you calling
from a vehicle?
[Mr. Cold]
Stop what you are doing.
Stop helping them.
-[radio static]
-[Harlan] Woah!
-Bump, what was that?
-I have no idea.
There are no storms in the area.
Well, we'll keep on that
and try to make sure
it doesn't happen again.
I'm dumping this call.
Send me another one.
All right, I'm sorry
again everybody,
there must be a full moon out
tonight or something.
We're getting a few oddballs
and I apologize. [chuckles]
I believe we're talking
to Joe from Ohio.
Hey, yes. Sir. Harlan...
[grunts] ...I love your show.
Hello Buckeye Joe...
[chuckles] ...and thank you.
So tell me a story, my friend.
That's why we're here.
Oh, yeah, sorry.
Um, I'll get right to it.
So there's been a story,
it's been passed around
right here at our
local bar, Gimlins,
for like a few years now
and it is really weird.
[Harlan] I love it already, Joe.
The weirder the better.
[Joe] Okay, uh,
well here it goes.
[lively music playing]
-[water rippling]
-[frogs croaking]
[frog croaking]
[man] Y'all see that?
Fish ain't biting.
[lively music continues]
I am truly sorry Marsha,
but I'm gonna have
to cut the tutelage
of your husband short for today.
[groans] I almost got it on.
Goddamn it, Gordon,
you ain't got that
tied on there yet?
As I said, I do apologize,
and I would gladly offer you
a discount on your next outing.
Brigadier First Hand Colonel
Oren P. Brundleman the Third,
Chief Explorer
and Cryptozoologer?
[Oren] No. Flip that over.
[Marsha] Oh.
[zip zipping]
This side came from
a champion of a man.
Fantastic Dan,
King of Cannons.
This side I found on
a highway cleanup crew
-outside of Lubbock, '97.
-Is that blood?
[Oren]
When you pursue the unknown,
you need a specialized
adventure suit.
One that provides flexibility...
protects you...
and breathability.
[sniffs, groans]
[lively music playing]
Welcome to my vessel
of discovery.
This won't take long,
but if it does,
there's hooch and bug spray
under the life vest.
[lively music continues]
Oren!
-Gordon.
-Marsha.
[Oren] Marsha.
Ugh. [spits]
[music turns whimsical]
-[electric static]
-[groans]
[machine humming]
[machine pulsing]
I hear you.
-[electric static]
-[groans]
Dear God, that smarts.
[quirky music playing]
[Oren] Oren, you clever dog.
You have found him.
[birds chirping]
[water sloshing]
-[quirky music continues]
-[birds chirping]
[groans]
[tense music playing]
[screams]
[Marsha moaning]
I want your spine, Oren.
[moaning]
Oh, Oren.
Oh, Oren, Gordon
was never this good.
-[moans]
-Oh, Marsha.
Your husband's
a terrible fisherman.
[Marsha]
He's terrible at sex too.
You like that, uh-huh?
[screams]
-[moans]
-[creature croaking]
[tense music playing]
-[creature screeches]
-[screams]
[moans]
[tense music continues]
-[retches]
-[screams]
-[machine beeping]
-[creature groans]
[roars]
[distorted laughter, grunting]
[distorted voice] You put
a baby in my wife, Oren.
[distorted voice]
Your spawn is kicking.
[distorted laughing]
[creature croaking]
I gotta get out of here.
[Oren screams]
[ominous music playing]
Why are you me?
-I ain't no meter maid.
-I'm Deputy Kaufman, sir.
Don't "sir" me. Me?
-Help me.
-Are you hurt?
[creature croaking]
-Did you hear that? There it is.
-Is something chasing you?
It wants to have our babies.
Hey! Hey, come back here.
Hey, buddy, we need
to get back to the road.
[leaves crunching]
[gunshot]
[soft music playing]
[coughs, groans]
It is still out there.
Don't let it get us.
It wants to have our babies.
[branches snapping]
-[dramatic music playing]
-[creature growls]
[creature growls]
-[uneasy music playing]
-[insects chirping]
-[gasps]
-[both scream]
-[bursts]
-[screams]
-[creature croaks]
-[insects chirping]
[Joe] And that's about it.
I mean it gets brought up
every now and then,
but everybody
just laughs it off.
Although nobody has ever seen
Oren again since that night.
Well, thank you, Joe.
Another good story.
I just think it's funny
how the last two stories
had to deal with some
interspecies coupling.
Either you guys have some
really weird kinks out there
or the monsters do.
-[radio static]
-[Harlan] Go ahead...
-[radio tuning]
-...Ms. Wheels.
I would love to hear
what you have to tell us.
Well, Harlan, um...
I wanna start off by saying
I've been a paramedic
for about five years now.
But what I'm about to tell you
really dots the eye
in weird in my career.
[Harlan] Well,
we're all ears, Wheels.
This happened of all nights
on Halloween night,
probably like four years ago,
beginning of my career.
-[birds chirping]
-[animals howling]
[radio reporter] This just in,
there have been several reports
across the Washburn
County area...
[snores]
...of unidentified falling
debris coming from the sky.
There have also been sightings
of unidentified shapes,
seemingly floating around
several local state parks.
Stay tuned as we continue
to gather more information.
-You'll never take me alive!
-Dad, Dad.
-[Dad] Oh.
-It's your son.
-[sighs] Oh, Dale. Oh.
-Uh, where's the bathroom?
Oh, of course.
Yeah, let's go in the house.
[chuckles] Big day tomorrow.
-[ominous music playing]
-[water burbling]
[radio reporter]
When we return, we'll be talking
with eyewitnesses from
last night's strange encounters.
And how some say
it may be linked
to an incident 40 years ago
in Hopkinsville, Kentucky.
Urban legend or real event?
We'll discuss more
when we return
from our commercial break.
[whimsical music playing]
[music turns suspenseful]
[Ashley screams] Dammit, Dale!
[Dale] What?
What are you yelling for?
You know I hate Halloween
and you take me to
your dad's place,
which is decorated like a
complete psycho killer's house.
This shit's everywhere. [sighs]
Oh, I told you about my dad
when he was a young kid.
He loves Halloween.
It's the only thing he truly
gets excited for anymore
these days with Mom gone
and his health not so good.
I always make it back
for Halloween.
[soft music playing]
You do know that
there is a hot tub here
just calling our names, right?
-I didn't even bring a swimsuit.
-You don't even need one.
Nobody's gonna see
you way out here.
-Your dad?
-[Dale chuckles]
He for sure won't mind.
Okay, well,
I'm getting drunk first.
It's the only way I'm making it
through tonight.
Deal.
And I get a massage.
Mr. Bones will even help.
[whimsical music continues]
[grunts]
-[suspenseful music playing]
-[goo squelching]
[sniffs]
What do you think it is?
Oh, I don't know.
Spacecraft...
Alien egg pod. [chuckles]
Maybe it's from NASA.
Who knows. [chuckles]
One thing's for sure.
This'll be great for my
front porch set up tonight.
[chuckles] Scare the kiddos
for sure. [laughs]
-Thank God.
-[music intensifies]
You know, I appreciate
you coming out here
to visit me on Halloween.
I know you're a busy man.
It's my pleasure, Dad.
I always enjoy
spending time with you,
especially on the best day
of the year, Halloween.
[Dad laughs]
Did you hear about
those weird UFO sightings
that people were calling
at the radio station about?
Happened last night.
People were saying they saw
objects streak across the sky
and then vanish,
weird colors and noises,
just like in all those
cheesy sci-fi movies
we'd watch
when I was growing up.
You don't wanna know the truth.
What'd you say?
[clicks tongue]
Yeah, we've got
a few things to finish up
before the trick-or-treaters
come around. [chuckles]
It was always your favorite
part of Halloween, of course.
-Still is.
-[chuckles]
["Space Fiends" by Truckstop]
Space fiends
Space fiends
[heavy breathing]
Take to the war
And violent things
Your celebrity
Face on my screen
And all your crying
Will do no good
So sign up now
You know that you should
Be a part of this
Come on and join
[eerie music playing]
Okay, Pops, we'll be back later.
Heading out to the annual
Halloween Lodge party.
Okay, you kids have fun.
[chuckles]
Hey, Ashley, nice costume!
[chuckles]
-[sighs]
-[eerie music continues]
[sniffs]
-[water dripping]
-[eerie music continues]
[alien screeches]
-[Dad grunts]
-[glass shattering]
[groans]
[Alien whispering] Billy.
Billy. Billy.
[alien screeching]
Billy.
Billy.
-[gasps]
-[bulb shattering]
[Alien] We know you can hear us.
It's been a long time, Billy.
-[glass shattering]
-How did you find me?
[Alien] It took us a long
time to find you again.
Why are you doing this to me?
[Alien] You're coming home
with us.
You're ruining Halloween.
-[electric static]
-[alien screeches]
-[heart beating]
-[glass shattering]
[electric static]
[heat beating]
[Alien] We didn't get you then,
but we'll get you now.
[ominous music playing]
[Dale] Dad?
-Dad!
-They got me.
[alien babbling]
I hate Halloween.
[Wheels] And that was the story
he was telling us
as we took him to the ICU.
Honestly, I don't think
any of us
really knew what to make of it.
So we kind of just
let him babble.
But in a weird way,
it kind of calmed him down,
helped him cling on until
we made it to the hospital.
[Harlan] Well that is amazing.
Did the gentleman
survive his incident?
Oh, yeah. He pulled through
like a champ
and all the nurses
at the hospital
really loved his company.
And now--
now he has two really
interesting stories to tell.
[Harlan] Well, that's fantastic.
I'm glad to hear
he is still among us.
I'd hate to have him pop up
in one of our ghost episodes
down the road.
So, looks like
we've got the barber
down in Texas on line one.
The barber, you're live
on the Truth Serum.
[barber] Hello? Yeah.
Hey, I love the show.
Hold on just a sec.
I'm sorry to interrupt you,
but you say
your name is the Barber,
so you cut hair, right?
Yeah, yeah,
I cut hair, man. Yeah.
So how come the alias then?
[barber] Well, I've got some
pretty exclusive customers
and it just wouldn't be good.
Okay, now you've
got my attention.
Tell us what kind
of cryptid you saw.
I saw a chupacabra.
Or two of them.
You're in way
out West Texas, right?
[barber] Yes, West Texas.
What part of West Texas,
exactly?
Let's just say West Texas, man.
Okay, I totally understand.
Let's just get
into your chupacabra story.
[barber] So like
these nerdy guys,
they build this wall of TVs
that seem to run into
like one big cable.
That cable goes out
to the back of this van
which, it's got like this huge
satellite dish on top of it.
After that's done,
that's when those
jefes get here,
you know, the bosses.
The jefes gathered to watch
this closed-circuit TV thing,
and where the cameras
are filming,
man, I don't know.
And to tell the truth,
I don't want to know.
This sounds like
some crazy movie
you'd see on the B movie
channel or something.
I'm-- But I'm all ears, Barber,
please continue.
[barber] So at this warehouse,
the jefes, they choose
a runner to represent them,
each one of them.
Now, who these people are
and why they'd
volunteer to do this,
man, you got me bro.
I guess, like,
low level street dealers,
they haven't produced or either
they pissed off thejefes.
They're put in
this dark warehouse
and that's when
they call in El Guapo.
And he's carrying like
these two dog carriers,
goes to a small door
in the alley,
and sends the chupacabras
in through the opening
to hunt down the runners, right?
All while he blows
a silent whistle
hanging around his neck.
[Harlan] Come on, now!
[chuckles]
Believe it or not, man,
I've seen it
with my own two eyes.
Mr. Barber, so then
what happens to the runners?
[barber] The dogs do
what dogs do.
[speaking Spanish]
[barber] They hunt.
-[dog whistle blows]
-[uneasy music playing]
[chupacabra panting]
-Who the fuck are y'all?
-Who the fuck are you?
None of your business, bean boy.
Was everyone kidnapped
and brought here
against their will
or was that just me?
-I was.
-Samoan, I was too.
So we all have that in common?
Yeah. And we got
our asses fucking kicked.
We have these numbers
branded on our head.
-I know what this is.
-What is it?
-This is payback.
-Payback for what?
Payback for screwing
over my boss.
So what, you're a dealer?
This ain't good, man.
You must be a rocket scientist.
What ain't good?
This. These numbers on our head.
Us being in here together,
y'all better get ready to fight.
Fight?
-Like each other?
-No, something worse.
What you mean by that,vato?
-[uneasy music playing]
-[chains jangling]
-[chupacabra panting]
-Hey everyone, shut up.
-[chains jangling]
-[dramatic rock music playing]
Bam, bam, let's go!
-[screams]
-[chupacabra growls, roars]
[in Spanish]
[dramatic rock music continues]
-[chupacabra growls]
-[screams]
-[in Spanish]
-[laughs]
[inaudible]
[chupacabra barks]
[in English]
No, no, definitely don't--
No, not-- back it up. Back.
See this motherfucker?
[screams]
-[chupacabra panting]
-[sobbing]
I paid you good solid dollars,
American dollars, I'll tell you,
which is number one currency
in the fucking world.
And what do you do?
You go and get killed.
You dumb motherfucker.
Y'all gonna drive me
to drinking, bunch of assholes.
[chupacabra snarling]
[laughing]
[in Spanish]
-[chupacabra snarling]
-[screams]
[in English]
Really, he got his ass ate.
He got his ass ate.
[in Spanish]
[screams]
[men laughing]
[men laughing]
[chupacabra panting]
[in English]
It's me, it's me, it's me.
-You okay, dude?
-Yeah, for now.
-What the hell are those things?
-The chupacabras.
-Chupacabras?
-Yes.
They're real, man.
And this is a game.
A game? Like a game of survival?
Yeah. And it's game over, man.
[shushes]
-Run!
-[chupacabra barking]
Look, jump that,
we'll be safe.
I will, but you won't.
-[dramatic music continues]
-[chupacabras barking]
[boy] What the fuck
are you doing, man?
Fuck you, I ain't dying today.
What are you doing?
Wait a minute, man!
Get back, you...
[speaks indistinctly]
[chupacabras snarling]
Fuck you, you two
hairless bastards.
-Nice knowing you, asshole.
-[One screams]
[in Spanish]
[in English]
Congratulations,cabrn.
[indistinct chatter]
Yeah, man, and that's about it.
Chupacabras do exist.
They're being used by the
Mex-cartel as killing machines.
Wow.
That's just simply insane.
Okay my friend,
we appreciate the story.
We'll send you a Truth Serum
T-shirt for being on with us.
Hold on the line
for our Mr. Bump
and he will get you
squared away.
Well, there you
have it, listeners.
Chupacabras do exist
and they're being used for
killing people down in Texas.
Do you believe it?
Do I believe it?
Absolutely.
Absolutely questionable.
[chuckles] So stay tuned
and we'll be right back
after this break.
[announcer] The Truth Serum
will be right back
after a short commercial break.
-Bump, do you hear that?
-Yeah, what the hell is that?
I don't know, but it sounds like
that weird call from earlier.
Are we picking up another
source or something?
Or is somebody using a jammer?
I'll take care of it.
[unsettling music playing]
[mouse clicking]
[announcer] Now back
to Major Harlan Dean
and his Truth Serum.
Don't turn out those lights.
Harlan. Harlan,
the spot's over. You're back on.
[Harlan] Oh, shit. Here we go.
From Dover, Massachusetts.
Caller, you're on the air.
[caller gasping]
Hello, Major.
-[feedback squealing]
-Oh, yeah.
Whoa there partner.
Turn that radio down, will ya?
[caller] Is that better?
Yes, okay, go ahead, caller.
[caller] You'll have
to forgive me.
I have a strange
question to ask.
[Harlan]
You must have just tuned in.
I've been dealing
with strange all night.
-What's your question?
-I've got a GoPro...
[gasps]
...that was covered
in glowing goo.
And the footage is crazy.
I sent it... [gasps]
...to your email.
I think these two boys
captured footage of...
the Dover Demon.
It's rolling, it's rolling,
it's rolling.
-[birds chirping]
-[electronic music playing]
[firecracker pops]
[electronic music continues]
You gonna learn
how to hit today, pussy?
Maybe.
Paul, I don't like
baseball movies.
I like scary movies.
Have you seen
Nightmare on Elm Street,
Texas Chainsaw, Halloween?
-Oh, hockey mask.
-Jesus.
What the fuck?
I can't wait to see
boobs in real life.
[Elliot] I'm gonna see
so many boobs.
What do you think
about the demon?
No one's seen
Dover's claim to fame
since our parents were kids.
I don't even think
it qualifies as a cryptid.
Probably just
a retarded hairless
baby moose or something.
[Elliot] Corey thinks
it's an alien that CTech--
Corey thinks
everything is aliens.
CTech fired him and Tank for it.
Now he's a full schizo
pothead grownup
living in his mom's garage.
He's still
a smart-ass scientist.
[electronic music continues]
[Paul] One more time. Grip it.
Grip it. Call the house.
Grip it,
grip it.
-Call the house.
-That's our only ball!
[leaves rustling]
No, don't touch it.
It could have a bacteria
or flesh-eating virus
or something.
Let's take it to the lab.
[Corey] Where did you come from?
-[pounding on door]
-Corey, Tink, let us in, man.
-Come on, no bullshit.
-[dog barking]
[buzzer buzzing]
-[door opens, closes]
-Dude, what took you so long?
[Elliot] You're not
gonna believe--
[Paul] Seriously, man.
You're gonna look
at this thing or what?
All right, all right,
cool your jets, man.
Call the house.
You have a specimen.
We're gonna hypothesize,
rationalize, analyze,
plagiarize,
cross the T's dot the...
turns out to be some kind of
new species of retarded moose.
-We'll call Nat G.
-[growls]
[dramatic music playing]
But...
if it does turn out to be
some kind of ET, Elliot,
what will you do?
[Elliot screaming]
[yells, grunts]
[sighs]
I'll tell you what I'm gonna do.
I'll do what I do best.
Decode that genome, baby.
Figure out who made it,
where it came from.
That's no retarded moose.
[alien screeches]
[Tink screams]
Call the house.
Whatever this is,
CTech is obviously behind it.
And this time, they're not
gonna be able to laugh
and toss us out with the trash.
[chuckles] Oh, no.
We got the proof in the
decomposing pudding, baby.
This time they're gonna listen
and they're gonna pay
'cause we got Tink,
tantalizing and titillating
both the cerebrum
and the pituitary
with their big old brains
and those big old boobies.
-[laughs]
-[Corey] And last but not least,
we got our new muscle.
The slayer of extraterrestrial
beasts,
obviously slinging some
serious hog down there.
Thick as a beer can!
Long as my arm!
Ladies, look out!
Put all that together
and you've got one badass,
unstoppable mystery team
coming to fuck up your day.
[electronic music continues]
There's just one problem.
-What?
-What?
Flesh-eating virus!
[all scream]
-[electronic music continues]
-[dog barking]
[flesh squelches]
[both scream]
[static crackles]
[gasps] So, what do you think
after watching
the footage? That's...
That's proof, isn't it? [gasps]
I don't know if that
was proof of anything
except to wash your hands
and don't bag up dead aliens.
[chuckles]
[gasps] Wash my hands?
Oh, I wish I would've
thought of that one.
[wheezes]
Might have to get
a drink here in a little bit.
I think we have time
for one more call.
And we are talking to Sean.
Go ahead, Sean.
You are on the Truth Serum.
[Sean] I kind of
wanted to talk about
those callers that sounded
like they were pranking you.
Yeah, pranks can be funny,
but sometimes
-they don't go as planned.
-Well, people don't,
you know, realize what
kind of repercussions
behavior like that can have.
It seems funny at first,
but you never know
what way it can turn.
And-- Are you gonna
tell us why, though?
I have a feeling
that this is where
your story is starting from.
[Sean] Yeah, I'm from
Bladenboro, North Carolina.
-The home of the beast.
-[unsettling music playing]
[chain clinking]
You see, I told you there'd be
something in my dad's freezer
we could use.
Let's give it, like,
another half hour
-and then we'll get started.
-Sounds good to me.
You sure this is a good idea?
What's that doing up there?
-What?
-[clears throat]
Either you tell me now or...
Oh, I'll read it
on your tombstones
after Dad's done killing you.
Okay, Leah, here's how it is.
Do you wanna go to the movies
with me on Friday?
[scoffs] That's it.
You guys are in big trouble.
Leah.
It's about the beast.
-What?
-You know, the beast.
Remember the story?
Yeah, Sean,
I know about the beast.
Who the hell
in Bladenboro doesn't. So?
So, it's back.
And we're gonna prove
it's not just story.
I'm free Saturday too.
[Sean] We have a solid plan
and it's gonna work.
A solid plan, huh?
A monster hunt is a solid plan?
Yeah, actually it is.
Oh, really? How so?
I would love to hear this.
I mean,
how do you know that this thing
is even still walking around?
Didn't that story happen
like a really long time ago?
Yeah, but recently
there's been a lot
of animal attacks.
Pets going missing,
dying left and right,
just like when the beast
came the first time around.
Do you even watch the news?
I really hate to bring
you back to reality
but, pets die from
wild animals all the time.
There are numerous
culprits out there
that could be doing that.
Like coyotes, for one.
-That's probably the best bet.
-Really?
Well shit,
that makes total
sense when you say it.
It's the coyotes
decapitating them
and drinking all their blood.
Typical coyote behavior.
Mm, mm, mm.
So, do you, uh,
want to help us out
with this or...?
And watch two make
total fools of yourselves?
[scoffs] Absolutely. I'm so in.
Made yourself comfortable?
We're gonna start
surveillance soon.
So, this is obviously
what we bait it in, with
cat videos and pop-up ads,
right? [laughs]
Yeah, not quite.
See, what we're gonna do
is we're not only
lowering it in with
fresh raw meat, which is
what it's used to eating.
We're gonna hit it
with something else.
Something it's a little
more familiar with.
[beast growling over speaker]
Sean, what in the hell is that?
Well, that...
was the only existing
recording of the beast ever.
Supposedly someone got it just
a couple days
before its last sighting.
Now, it's our ace card.
-You ready to roll, Matt?
-[Matt] Moment of truth.
[electronic music playing]
Oh, my God.
I can't take this anymore.
-[Sean] You've given up already?
-Yeah, what the hell?
Talk about patience, geez.
Sean, I can literally
only waste so much of my time
before it actually
becomes impossible
to continue doing so.
What did you think
was gonna happen?
It was just gonna pop out
after five minutes?
Goodnight, Sean.
-Matt.
-Yes?
Do you want me to rub
your feet or something?
So...?
So? Go get it.
[chuckles] Oh, good.
I love handling that thing.
I'm actually considering
making it a hobby of mine.
-[suspenseful music playing]
-[dog howling]
[chain creaking]
[reporter] Report
suspicious activity
and call 9-1-1
for immediate response.
Expect delay,
searches of personal property.
-Take personal security...
-Leah.
[reporter] ...to avoid
becoming a victim.
Sean, what the hell?
No, I told you I'm done.
I watched you fail.
What else do you need from me?
-Leah, you gotta come here.
-[reporter] ...and local radio--
No, uh, I don't.
I gotta sit right here
and pretend you don't exist.
-Leah.
-[news continues in background]
You gotta come help.
Please.
[Leah] Sean?
[reporter] ...of persons that
exhibit signs of infection.
-[TV clicks]
-Sean, what's wrong?
Sean?
Sean, what's going on?
Where is Matt?
Sean? You're freaking me out.
Where is Matt?
[sighs] I-- I don't know.
One moment he was here
and now he's gone.
-What do you mean gone?
-Gone, Leah, gone as in missing.
Do you see him right now?
Maybe he just
got bored and went
home or something.
He would've said something
if he went home.
I told him to take
this down for me.
When I went to check
on it, the meat was gone
and so was he.
[suspenseful music playing]
Sean, what do you think
you're doing?
I'm looking for my friend.
You don't even give
a shit about him,
-so why do you care?
-Listen to me.
We have to go back
and call for help.
-You understand?
-No, we gotta go look for him.
-He needs us right now.
-Sean, please.
-[Matt growls, howls]
-[gunshot]
[gasps]
-[owl hooting]
-[suspenseful music playing]
[laughs] I got him.
I heard it call.
I had to find him.
Thank God I got here in time.
It was gonna get you kids.
What are you guys doing out here
with this thing running around?
We're looking for another boy.
His best friend,
have you seen him?
Boy?
There ain't no boy out here.
Just that son of a bitch thing.
And when it killed my dog,
the only thing I ever
loved in my life,
and he took--
he took his fucking head.
-I can't believe I got him.
-Mister, listen,
we have to call
the police, okay?
They need to know about this.
I got him, I got him.
I can't believe I got him.
-Do you understand me?
-Son of a bitch.
Where do you live?
Do you live near here?
Mister, please?
Sean, don't touch that.
[gun cocking]
-Oh, fuck.
-[blood spurting]
I didn't know.
I swear, I didn't know.
It was an accident.
Stupid asshole.
-It was a prank.
-[sobs] Oh, God.
You killed him,
you motherfucker.
I swear to God,
I'll fucking kill--
-[gunshot]
-[screams]
You saw it. He attacked me.
I had to protect myself.
-I'm calling the police.
-Leah.
-Run!
-No.
[gunshot]
-[somber music playing]
-No.
I'm sorry, son,
but I can't go to jail.
It was an accident.
-Forgive me.
-[gun cocking]
[dramatic music playing]
-[beast growling]
-[hunter screams]
Son,
save me.
[beast snarling]
[dramatic music continues]
No.
[electronic music playing]
[hunter screaming in distance]
[beast howling]
[Sean] So yeah, that's how
a simple, stupid prank
got my best friend
and my sister killed.
So anyone out there
that's listening,
you're thinking
about doing a prank,
there's some things you just
can't take back.
Well.
I thought these stories
were going to be
at least a little fun.
Sorry about that downer
to all my listeners out there.
This has definitely taken a turn
down a sadder path
than expected.
Oh, okay. Well,
I'm getting the signal.
It's that time.
This concludes this
episode of the Truth Serum.
I wanna thank our callers for
sharing their stories with us.
For those listeners who
love to hear about things
that go bump in the night,
we never know what's just
lurking beyond the shadows,
hiding, waiting, watching.
Join us next week when
our topic of conversation
will be haunted highways.
Good evening. And sleep tight.
[announcer] And now,
it's time to say goodnight
to the Truth Serum
and hello to our next block
of easy-listening jazz,
brought to you by WQRK,
easy listening.
[light jazz music playing]
[sighs]
-[clears throat]
-[dramatic sting]
You know, you could
knock next time.
And what would be
the fun in that?
I take it you recorded
it all the way
like you were instructed?
-You seem like a smart man.
-Wasn't that hard at all.
[suspenseful music overlapping]
[Harlan]
What'll happen to the callers?
It's not your concern, Mr. Dean.
Don't let it cost you any sleep.
You know, one of these days,
this little charade of yours...
it's not gonna work.
Despite your best
attempts to conceal it,
the truth will get out there.
For the sake
of all mankind, Mr. Dean,
pray it never does.
Goodnight.
Summer's kiss
Winter's cold
[demonic voice] Harlan,
I warned you.
You didn't listen.
[dramatic sting]
This time, Harlan,
it's time to sign off.
["Weird" by Francis Lima]
Something's calling
Oh, my God
I'm gonna tell you what
This fear I feel inside me
The creepers screeching
In my yard
It's rising in the night
I cannot breathe
I can't believe
Is that disease on my mind?
The creepers screeching
In my yard
It's rising in the night
The silver moonlight
Is hurting my eyes
Fallen once
You make me blind
What is this weird thing
We have lost in lies?
The red dolls rising again
I hope it comes to an end
Oh, my God
I'll tell you what
This fear I feel inside
The creepers screeching
In my yard
It's rising in the night
I cannot breathe
I can't believe
Is that disease on my mind?
The creepers screeching
In my yard
This rising in the night
Oh, my God
I'll tell you what
This fear I feel inside
The creepers screeching
In my yard
It's rising in the night
I cannot breathe
I can't believe
Is that disease on my mind?
The creeper's screeching
In my yard
It's rising in the night
And I'm still alive
Oh, my God
I'll tell you what
This fear I feel inside
The creeper's screeching
In my yard
It's rising in the night
[upbeat rock music playing]
The buildings of the cities
Steeped in a drenching rain
The fog is forming
Every pattern in the night
A dog was ripped to pieces
A woman has been slain
Oh how I dreaded what
I knew I would find
My clothes are blood-stained
I hope I can explain
The curse of love won't moan
The curse of love won't moan
Oh
The curse of love won't moan
Oh
Like entropy
A form of insanity
Insanity
Between
The light reflections
[sings indistinctly]
Can I confide in you
As I confess these crimes?
I'm not like Jack the Ripper
In fact, I have been framed
I realize you lied
It was you this whole time
As I slowly die
You drive into the night
The curse of love won't moan
Oh
The curse of love won't moan
Oh
The curse of love won't moan
Oh
Like entropy
A form of insanity