Curious George 2: Follow That Monkey! (2009) Movie Script
1
[chattering]
Live a life less ordinary
Live a life extraordinary with me
Good morning, George!
Live a life less sanitary
Live a life evolutionary with me
[whoops]
Up she goes!
Well, I hate to be a bother
But it's you and there's no other
I do believe
Thanks, George!
But I know me very well
At least as far as I can tell
And I know what I need
The day you came into my life
Well, it took the bones of me
Took the bones of me
You blew away my storm and strife
And shook the bones of me
Shook the bones of me
Just in time to
Catch a ride to
[laughing]
Come along and we can leave today
Live a life less ordinary
Live a life extraordinary with me
[exclaims]
My face had said too much
Before our hands could even touch
To greet "hello"
So much for going slow
[gibbering]
Hey! The comics are good today, George!
Okay, I'll put it on your tab.
Enjoy!
Face along with me
Let's fill ourselves with curiosity
Search around to find
Something different every time
Looking inside the day one can
It's all it really takes
To live and learn and grow
[water bubbling]
The night you came into my life
Well, it took the bones of me
Took the bones of me
[giggling]
You blew away my storm and strife
And shook the bones of me
Shook the bones of me
Just in time to
Catch a ride to
Somethin' great
[chattering]
So come along and
We can leave today
[chatters]
[chatters]
Ah!
[exclaiming]
[chuckles]
[Ted snoring]
[exclaims]
[grunting]
[chattering]
Okay. Okay. Okay.
Now I'm awake.
[alarm ringing]
7:45? Oh, no, I'm late!
[exclaiming]
Oh!
[chattering]
[Ted muttering]
Sorry, George, I don't have time
for the paper today.
I'm late for my meeting
with Mr. Bloomsberry.
Wish me luck!
[sighs]
[Ted] Reason 12, I organized
all the pencils in the museum
according to size and sharpness.
Reason 24, I arranged for the toothbrushes
of the British royalty exhibit...
Well, the display case, whatever.
Reason 33, I color-coded
the color-code labels.
Sorry I'm late, Mr. Bloomsberry.
-Fore!
-Whoa!
[clattering]
[sighs in relief]
[clears throat]
Since you announced your retirement,
I've been thinking,
and, well, I've put together 50 reasons,
Thirty-five sub-reasons and a handful
of compelling arguments
why, of all the candidates to replace you,
I should--
Ted, you're not one of the candidates.
Oh...
Thanks for seeing me, sir. I...
You're the only candidate.
-I am?
-Yes!
I couldn't imagine leaving
the Bloomsberry Museum
in the hands of anybody else.
Not even Junior Bloomsberry?
My son?
Heavens, no! He has other ambitions.
You've earned this, Ted.
[gasps]
Me, a museum director!
Wow!
And all you've got to do is get approved
by the Board of Directors
at their annual meeting next week.
The Board of Directors?
But they're powerful, intimidating men,
with moustaches!
And male pattern baldness.
Relax, Ted. They're just as scared of you
as you are of them.
-Really?
-Absolutely.
No, wait, that's bears.
Anyway, just tell the Board
your vision for the museum.
Make them believe in you.
Inspire them.
No...
Huh? Oh! Oh!
Okay.
Sure, I can do that.
[clattering]
[Maggie] Ted, all of your hard work
is finally paying off,
and I'm very proud of you.
But even future museum directors
need to take a little time off.
But I've only got one week
to put together
my whole
"Priorities for the Future" presentation.
Most people only talk about the future.
Not me.
I put it in a binder!
[George cooing]
Oh, Hi, George.
[chattering]
What?
[gibbering]
-You want to see the elephant?
-Uh-huh.
Sorry, George. Not today.
[sighs in disappointment]
I gotta pick the colors
for my bar graphs.
Today, I'm thinking earth tones.
-Has anybody seen my bar graphs?
-Bar graphs.
Hey! Mustard's a good color.
Ted, all this important stuff
isn't the most important stuff.
You need to think about your loved ones.
You mean George?
I think of him all the time.
Those aren't toys, George!
See? Just thought of him again.
Ted, the people you really care about,
and who care about you,
need your attention now.
Or there may not be a "later."
Do you understand?
Sure, I understand! I do!
Hey, George! Pack your smile!
We're going to see the elephant!
[chattering excitedly]
You see? I totally caught your drift!
We are so in sync!
See you later, Maggie.
Bye-bye!
Hey! You wanna come, too?
[sighs]
[people talking indistinctly]
Peculiar.
[exclaims]
[Tina] Ladies and gentlemen,
direct your eyes to center stage
as we present, direct from London,
that's in England,
the great Piccadilly!
[audience exclaiming]
[audience cheering]
Thank you, thank you.
I shall endeavor to amuse you
with prestidigitation,
memorization, legerdemain,
and other large words.
[chattering]
Ah, Tina, my lovely assistant.
If you would kindly step into
the enchanted cabinet.
Behold!
The insupposable metamorphosis of woman
into water fowl!
[squawking]
[chattering]
Ted...
And now, for an outstanding wonder,
hitherto unseen by civilized man.
Now, tell me, does anyone here
like blowing bubbles?
[chattering]
Well, next time, try this!
Kayla, the two-ton juggling pachyderm!
[audience laughing]
It's quite extraordinary.
Oh!
[audience gasping]
Oh, Kayla, there's no spunk in your trunk.
No pep in your proboscis.
No cause for alarm.
Elephants do not forget,
but sometimes they do get stage fright.
[audience laughing]
Now, for the next trick,
I require a volunteer from the audience.
[Maggie clears throat]
Ted?
Oh! Oh!
Right.
Yes, you, sir!
The man with the yellow hat!
Me?
Please, sir, join us on stage.
Oh! Gee. I have a bad case
of stage blight. Trite! Fright!
Obviously.
[chattering]
-Go! Go on. It'll be fun.
-Fun?
Okay, don't push. I'm good. I'm fine.
Heavens, what a fluorescent chapeau.
-May I?
-Well...
Oh, trust me.
Ah!
[twittering]
Sir, I'd like you to help me
make this elephant vanish!
All you have to do is say the magic words,
"Pachydermatus vamoosicus."
Pachydermatus what's-a-cus?
Close enough!
[audience laughing]
Thank you, thank you.
I'm sure you wish this would work
on the mother-in-law.
George! It's just a trick!
No problem.
I'll deal with the cheeky monkey.
Oh, boy.
[chattering]
George!
Come here.
[exclaiming]
[grunts]
-Yours?
-Yeah.
He's a tad curious, that's all.
His name's George.
[Piccadilly] Come out, Curious George.
[exclaiming]
[laughing]
[audience cheering]
[chuckles]
Yeah, thank you! Yes.
[quacks]
[exclaiming]
[sighs]
[chatters]
I wanna be the smile
I wanna see the change
I wanna be friend from the start
And once it starts
It never ends
I want to be your pal
I want to be around
I want to be your friend
[chattering excitedly]
I want to be the sunshine
On your smiling face
I want to be the moon
No, I want to be ocean
Where all we do is float
Under the sun on the rolling sea
Oh, I want to be the sunshine
No, I want to be the moonshine
I want to be the night time lullaby
When you're so afraid
And I think I found a way
[squawking]
To put a smile on your lonely face
[laughing]
[chattering]
I think I found a way
A way to break down all the walls
George? Where are you?
[gibbering]
I think about the way
To say hello
[buzzing]
I think about the way
To say hello
[door opening]
I think about the way
Without saying anything
At all
[exclaiming happily]
[quacking]
[Piccadilly] Kayla?
[footsteps approaching]
Kayla? Kayla!
Security!
[cameras clicking]
[squawking]
You think this innocent act of yours
is fooling anyone, huh?
You can go, for now.
If you feel like coming clean, contact me,
Danno Wolfe, Head of Security.
Hey, boss, I'm no expert,
but I can't help but notice
that none of these people
has an elephant-sized bulge
underneath their coats.
I suppose, Ms. Fisher,
you think that's clever, hmm?
But take away the elephant's water weight,
and you're left with 25 pounds
of minerals.
You think someone dehydrated the elephant?
A crime stuffer
never rules out a possibility.
Next!
I suggest no sudden moves.
He's high-strung.
Ah, yes.
The man with the mischievous monkey.
Not mischievous, just curious.
Where is he, anyway?
Well, believe it or not,
George has gone missing, too.
Really?
It's not that strange.
He probably wandered off.
He does it all the time.
You know, maybe Kayla wandered off
with George.
-So that's your story? Your monkey did it?
-No!
[laughing] Ticklish! Okay.
You know, I bet they're just
out having fun.
"Fun"? Kidnapping is fun to you?
I suppose murder's just
a party, then, huh?
Murder?
International espionage?
Just another day at the beach?
No! No! No beach!
[screams]
[thuds]
Listen, yellow man,
I've got my eye on you.
Don't leave town!
He never does.
[gasps]
The local police claim a lost elephant
is not their problem.
Doesn't matter. I've made it mine.
-I will find your hippo!
-Elephant!
Oh. Elephant. Sorry.
Baby elephant, alone in the big city.
She must be terrified.
[gibbering]
Sinatra. Hmm.
ABBA, eh.
Tchaikovsky.
[loud classical music playing]
Uh...
Hmm? Ah!
[chattering]
[loud thud]
Oh...
Oh!
[gibbering]
[grunts]
[laughing]
[laughs]
[clattering]
[screams]
And it was here
that this nightmare scenario first began.
Even the great Piccadilly, who makes
his living causing things to vanish,
is unable to explain
this apparent sleight of hand.
The magician acquired the elephant
a few months ago.
Kayla is seen here
with her brother Tonga and sister Layla.
[trumpeting]
Just a playful little elephant,
with no idea of the heart-rending drama
that lies ahead of her.
The elephant's original home
was this animal park in California.
Now animal lovers across the country
can only wait and wonder
what will become of her.
[exclaims]
George!
[chattering]
George, when I said no guests over
without permission,
I am pretty sure that included elephants.
This is Hark Hanson.
What were you thinking?
Peanuts. Yes.
Yes, of course.
Makes total sense.
Well, I better call Mr. Piccadilly
and tell him.
[phone line ringing]
[automated female voice] Thank you
for calling the Metropolitan Theater.
To continue this call in Spanish,
press one.
For Chinese, press two.
For Klingon, press cha.
For a schedule of upcoming events,
press one.
For a map, press two.
-You've reached Customer Service.
-Finally!
Our office hours are weekdays
from 10:00 to 6:00.
-Please call back then.
-[phone disconnects]
[groans]
[sighs] Come on, George.
We've got to take Kayla back home.
[chattering]
[sighs]
If we meet anyone, I'll do the talking.
Not sure what I'll say.
Any story that begins with
"my monkey and I" is trouble.
Mr. Piccadilly, how does this unexplained,
mysterious, near-disastrous
turn of events...
-Hey, look!
-...make you feel?
I've been imitated by idiots,
pilloried by critics
and walked out on by philistines,
but stealing a man's elephant...
[chattering]
that's just not done.
Kayla is not only the star of my show,
she's family.
Like an elephant could just walk away
and no one would notice.
[man on TV] Tragedy and intrigue.
Tonight, a special report
on the elephant kidnapping.
George? Kayla?
This is Hark Hanson on the elephant hunt.
George, no!
[George exclaims]
Well I'm going out west where I belong
Where the days are short
And the nights are long
[imperceptible]
Where they walk
And I'll walk
They twist
And I'll twist
They shimmy
And I'll shimmy
They fly
And I'll fly
Where they're out there having fun
In the warm California sun
Well, I'm going out west
Out on the coast...
[gasps]
Typical. My list just says trunk.
Who knew there'd be an elephant attached?
Well, the boxcar's empty.
[man over P.A.] Train 321 heading
to California all point express
will be leaving in 30 seconds
from Platform 7.
[trumpeting]
[trumpeting continues]
[mimics elephant]
George, what are you doing here?
[chattering]
Yeah. I know Kayla's an elephant.
She has to go home.
[chattering]
And so do we.
I have a big presentation to prepare,
and I haven't even begun to alphabetize.
[mimics train whistle]
Okay. I'm putting my foot down,
young monkey.
All aboard!
So, get out of this car, right now.
There is no way
we're riding a train tonight.
-Na-ah.
-[door rolling]
No. No! No! No, wait! Wait!
[Ted] Oh, my gosh,
there are no seatbelts.
Help. We're trapped.
[sighs] Great.
I've gone from museum director
to boxcar hobo.
And look at my priorities,
my poor beautiful priorities.
Does anybody see my pie charts?
[sighs] Never mind. I'll...
I'll just recreate them.
Wait. I have my phone.
No! No signal.
Come on, baby. Give me some signal.
Papa needs a new pair of bars.
Come on. Come on. Come on.
Wait. Now there's two.
Now there's... Now there's three.
[sighs]
Now there's none.
George, you're in my light.
You've seen the moon before.
A bird? Oh.
Flying. No.
No, the moon isn't flying.
[chattering]
Oh. I see.
Well, actually,
that's an interesting illusion.
See, the moon is far away,
and the trees are close,
so we get a parallax effect, where it's...
Or sometimes the man in the moon
looks down,
sees a little monkey he likes
and follows him.
Why don't you say good night to the moon
and go sleep with Kayla?
Good night, George.
[Wolfe] Come on in. We're all set up.
Brilliant! Extraordinary!
Impressive array.
Do they do anything?
Yeah! We've got security tapes,
satellite tracking,
thermal vision, wiretaps,
fingerprint databases,
spectral and DNA analysis,
and, um, and the theatre organ.
This was the only room available
on short notice.
But not to worry!
Stand back and behold
the future of crime stuffing!
[machine powering down]
Uh, you forgot to plug in the future.
[chuckles] Oops.
[machine powering up]
Oh, spot on, Mr. Wolfe.
[birds chirping]
[train horn hooting]
[snoring]
[snoring]
[music playing]
[beeping]
[phone line ringing]
[automated female voice] Thank you
for calling the Metropolitan Theater.
For Spanish, press one,
for Chinese, press two...
[speaking Mandarin]
[chattering]
[shrieking]
[trumpeting]
[beeping]
[snoring]
[chuckles]
[exhaling]
[screams]
Kayla. George.
Train. Right.
Wow, the Gateway Arch.
This is St. Louis.
When the train stops,
we can yell for someone to let us out.
We're going home!
That was... St. Louis.
Okay. Okay. I'm not gonna freak out.
My cell phone should work here,
but it has a dead battery.
Um, Kayla, George, cover your ears.
Okay.
Now I'm freaking out!
[George chattering on recording]
Ms. Fisher! You should hear this.
It came into the call center as Chinese.
-Get a translator.
-That's a monkey.
Don't be silly.
Monkeys don't speak Chinese.
[automated voice]
Beginning voice recognition.
We have a voice-print match.
It's a monkey!
Your powers of observation are dizzying.
Oh, "dizzying."
I like that. Yes, thank you, Ms. Fisher.
There's no signal from the phone.
Let's review.
Why would a Chinese-speaking monkey call,
then disable the phone?
Answer? Because he's taunting us!
Ms. Fisher, this may be
the most devious monkey ever.
[chattering]
[screams]
George! Wh-what are you doing?
This is my presentation to the Board!
I have to find a way out of here!
[grunting]
Just another inch...
[grunting]
The handle's too far.
I'm sorry I yelled at you.
It's just that these three little rings
hold my entire career.
My whole future
is all in this little binder.
So, just be more careful, okay?
Oh! No! No!
[screams]
-[railroad crossing bell rings]
-Oh, boy!
[screaming]
[grunting]
[screaming]
I'm okay.
I'm okay!
I'll catch up with you, George!
Promise!
[chattering]
[whimpering]
[sighs]
[panting]
You've got to stop the California Express!
-Are you talking to me?
-Yes!
No, siree.
The C.E. don't stop for nothing!
For nobody. No one.
Except for fuel in Grand Junction.
Listen, we're talking
a genuine emergency, here!
My monkey and elephant
and all my priorities
are trapped in a boxcar
headed to California,
but I was bushwhacked, literally,
and fell off the train, and--
And you hit your head, I reckon.
Well, yes, but I...
[sighs] Never mind.
My cell phone is dead.
I need to make a call.
I'll bet you do.
Well, I figure I can charge your phone,
but you're gonna have
to call your monkey outside.
First, I'll call Piccadilly.
Then, I'll catch up with the train.
You're saying my elephant
was kidnapped by a monkey?
I suppose he wants 20 pounds
in unmarked bananas.
Don't be fooled.
I can read a criminal face.
That monkey's a lifetime offender.
Probably started off kidnapping squirrels.
That's the gateway animal.
[automated female voice]
For English, press 99.
Come on! I'm running out of change!
[phone ringing]
Pilfered Pachyderm Unit, can I help you?
Hi. I have your elephant.
[whispering] It's the kidnapper!
Beginning trace.
Okay, first,
I want you to know she's okay.
-Second...
-[automated voice] Five seconds.
Please deposit $2 for another minute...
I need more money.
-What do they want?
-You need money?
Yes! But your elephant is fine. Just fine.
...or $5 for 10 minutes.
Can I just...
And that includes a subscription
to Payphone Weekly.
I need that money!
[gasps]
Oh, nuts!
[dial tone]
Look, I'll talk fast. We'll be home soon,
and everything is gonna be fine.
[sighs]
Well! At least I got that covered.
It's a kidnapping, all right.
But that was no monkey.
Nobody can fool you, Crime Stuffer Wolfe.
The situation is worse than I thought.
Our monkey has an accomplice.
Oh, my poor Kayla.
I suspect this man.
[screen pings]
Blimey! I would never have believed it.
That's because you haven't taken
the online Crime Stuffer
Correspondence Course.
I have.
It's true what they say.
You don't appreciate your elephant
till she's gone.
You must get Kayla back!
Gotcha! The call came from a pay phone
in Humbleton, Colorado.
[Ted] No taxi? No bus? No car for rent?
Let me see. Would you like
the Bentley or the Lamborghini?
[sighs] Don't you have
any form of transportation?
Just my bike.
[grunting]
[whimpers]
[chattering]
[sniffing]
[chattering]
[humming]
[gasps]
[trumpets]
[chatters]
[chuckles]
George! George!
[shouting] I'm going to go up to the front
and get them to stop the train!
[gasps]
Oh, no!
[distorted] No!
[grunts]
[laughs]
No one has ever been happier
to see his monkey...
And elephant.
Thanks, Kayla.
[gasping]
I missed you, too.
[phone line ringing]
[automated female voice] Thank you
for calling the Metropolitan Theater.
-Pick up. Pick up!
-Security.
ETA, Ms. Fisher?
Ten minutes closer
than the last time you asked me.
Coffee much, Ms. Fisher?
[beeping]
Oh, hang on.
We're picking up
his cell phone signal again,
from the same coordinates
as the pay phone.
Bingo! I've got them cornered.
[exclaiming] Freeze! Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Horse feathers! Look what you did!
What are you doing with that phone?
Nothing, now that you made me break it.
I mean, where did you get it?
From some guy.
Is this the man?
Hard to say.
How about now?
Yep, that's him.
Strange fellow.
He was chasing after
the California Express.
Oh!
And where's that train going?
California.
-But she does stop in Grand Junction.
-Really?
You're always one step ahead of me.
But I'm on to you now, and I'm closing in.
Mister, are you talking to that picture?
I've got a train to catch.
[gibbering]
Hey, she's getting good.
Oh. You guys been practicing?
Oh, sure!
Kayla can probably handle one more.
Right, Kayla?
[George exclaiming]
George!
My binder!
[George chattering]
["On A Roll" playing]
Say! We're picking up speed!
[bellows]
No, no, no, no, no, no!
Oh, boy!
[gasping]
[screaming]
[crickets chirping]
Oh, boy!
Well... Well, that was a...
I may need some time to process that.
You get the elephant.
The monkey and the man with the yellow hat
are mine.
[laughs]
Well, what do you know?
Fourteen minutes early.
[exclaims]
Danno Wolfe, Security!
Where's the elephant?
Where's the rest of my train?
I don't know what's worse,
blowing my career
or having a blister on my toe
the size of Texas.
Okay, Rhode Island.
Come on, guys! Stop goofing around!
Seriously, if you're not careful...
[gibbering]
That might happen.
[laughs]
You think that's funny?
You could've really gotten hurt.
We should be looking for a road,
and instead you're...
George! You found a road!
Oh!
Okay! A road!
Ha! We just catch a ride east,
and we are on our way!
Okay, this is gonna be hard.
[tires squealing]
Or not.
As part of our round-the-clock
elephant-napping special coverage,
I'm pleased to have the great Piccadilly,
the traumatized victim.
These past 24 hours
have been hard on all of us,
though perhaps even more so for you...
-Oh--
-Your naked suffering on display
-before a watching, waiting world...
-I--
While you wonder
who's made off with your elephant!
-Well, I--
-I mean, here you are, powerless,
while your elephant is in the hands of...
-Well, who knows?
-"Who knows?"
I know!
It's these two.
America is mad. Let's hear you speak out!
What kind of monster
would take an elephant?
Ooh!
Elephant stealers should go to jail
for, like, a million years!
-I know Ted.
-Huh?
He's a good man.
There must be some explanation.
[groaning]
You know, despite everything,
it's been kind of nice getting away.
Still, it'll be good to get back to...
"California's best"? "Avocados"?
-Surfers?
-[horn honking]
We're in California!
[chattering happily]
[sighs]
Why didn't someone tell me
we were going in the wrong direction?
Aren't animals supposed to have
instincts about this stuff?
Welcome back to The Network News
with Hark Hanson.
It's time to hear what the suspected
elephant-napper's employer has to say.
I don't understand it.
Ted's the most honest man I know.
He once walked three miles
to return change to a customer.
Wait, that was Abraham Lincoln.
Well, thank you, Mr. Bloomsberry.
Come on.
Kick it in.
Hey, there. Can we help?
-"We"?
-[trumpeting]
Is that an elephant?
[trumpeting]
-Well, I'll be.
-[Anna gasps]
Is that a monkey?
-That's George.
-That's Anna.
Any way I can thank you, Mister?
Well, can I use your phone?
[Ted] I guess she's about two tons.
That's right.
And I'll have to pay you later.
I left town unexpectedly.
Well, it's a long story.
[grunting]
One more!
[George laughing]
Well, the good news is,
I found a freight company
that will ship Kayla back home.
The bad news is, they charge by the pound.
And they can't come until tomorrow.
Well, then it looks like
we've got house guests.
[laughing]
They're having a pretty good time.
[Dan] That's my girl!
-Seems like it's your turn, Ted.
-Me? Oh, no. No.
Jumping into hay from a great height
is not my idea of...
Whoa!
Hey, that wasn't so bad.
[grunts]
Okay, I could have lived
without that, though.
[laughs]
[cow mooing]
[mooing]
[imitating cow mooing]
[chuckles]
[mooing]
["Heart of the day" playing]
Yuck!
[laughs]
[Anna] Hey!
Just long enough to catch our breath
And come alive
Just long enough
For changing up the scenery
To where we really want to be
[all laughing]
Everything is fine
One step at a time
To find our way
To the heart of the day
George, those are dirty.
They should be washed,
and sanitized, and pasteurized and...
These are amazing!
It's like there's a party in my mouth!
[grunting]
We're jumpin' out of time
We're runnin' with the wind
[snorting]
But there's no finish line
We're getting lost along the way
And everything is fine
Just step outside ourselves
And suddenly we see
This is where we ought to be
Everything is fine
Just take it one step at a time
To notice life along the way
Hey, everything is fine
[exclaiming excitedly]
One step at a time
To find our way
To the heart of the day
-Come on, Ted!
-Come on in!
[yelling]
[chuckling]
Everything is fine...
-[Dan] Clear the pool!
-[Ted] No. No! No! No!
[all exclaiming and cheering]
[laughing]
One step at a time
To find our way
To the heart of the day
[whispering] Where's my bathing suit?
[Ted] Oh. What a day.
I haven't had this much fun since...
Well, probably the week
I first met George.
Remember?
Yes.
Peekaboo.
Chased by a rhino.
Bitten by giant bugs. Ah.
Good times.
[car horn honking]
[Dan] The paper's here!
-George loves the comics.
-Be my guest.
Oh, my gosh. Look!
They've got a story about Kayla!
"California Animal Park."
Kayla came from
the California Animal Park?
[chattering]
And these other two elephants
are her brother and sister?
[exclaims] Wow.
You knew all that before,
didn't you, George?
[George] Uh huh.
That's why you brought us to California.
So Kayla could see her family.
[chattering in agreement]
Hey, look!
They've got a picture
of you and George, too!
Huh?
[Ted reading] Elephant-nappers at large!
What?
That's impossible! I called!
It was taken care of!
[phone ringing]
-[Ted] Mr. Bloomsberry?
-Ted?
Where are you?
People think you stole an elephant!
I know! It's crazy!
-[trumpeting]
-[laughing]
Well, it's a little crazy.
The museum's swarming with people!
Everyone's looking for you.
-For me?
-And George!
It's all over the news!
[Ted] But... But I called!
Oh. Do you think this will affect
the Board's decision?
Forget the Board! You may go to jail!
Jail?
[beeps]
[exclaims] Oh... I got you!
Listen, Mr. Bloomsberry.
I'll get this all straightened out.
We'll be home tomorrow! I promise!
[Anna] So, you're not taking Kayla
to see her family?
I never was. I can't!
I'm sorry, George.
[chattering]
George, listen to me, okay?
I know you want Kayla to see her family,
but Mr. Piccadilly
has been looking for her
and wants her back.
No, George! We're in big trouble!
The big, legal, "Go directly to jail,
do not pass Go" kind.
Don't you understand?
[sighs]
I know you didn't mean
to get us into this mess,
but you have.
And it ends now.
[sighs]
Look, I'm sorry!
I just don't have any other choice!
Still friends?
["Let Your Troubles Roll By" playing]
Love endures
It clings away
-Come on, Anna. Let's get ready for bed.
-Okay.
When asked to leave
It begs to stay
Like the perfect song
At imperfect times
It's the way the chords
Struck with the rhymes
[sighs]
So let your troubles roll by
He knows
He can help himself
He can tell by a look
At the books on his shelf
And someone, somewhere
Is out on their own
But they're losing the way
As they make their way home
And he feels the dream
Will freeze if it's left alone
In the cold
Where does the time go?
He plays it safe
He's in slow motion
Keepin' in touch
With the lost emotion
[cock crowing]
[yawning]
-Morning, Ted. Sleep well?
-Not a wink.
Do you suppose
they'll let me keep my hat in prison?
Hang in there, Ted.
I figure this mess
will get straightened out.
You think?
But then what?
What museum is gonna hire
a famous fugitive
from justice as their director?
You sure do worry a lot.
Well, let's see.
I'm wanted in 24 states,
I'm hated in all 50,
my career is down the toilet,
and George and I will end up
on the streets
with a tin cup, playing the hurdy-gurdy!
You bet I'm worried!
Yep, guess you're right.
Can't get any worse than that.
[sighs] Right.
[trumpeting]
[laughing]
Yeah, can't get any worse.
Guess not.
Wait up!
So, what am I worried about?
Come on, George! Come on, Kayla!
If we're gonna make it to the animal park,
we'd better get moving!
[cheering] Yay!
Why not?
If things can't get any worse,
they can only get better, right?
So, let's have an elephant family reunion!
[chattering happily]
Oh! Okay! Okay! I'm happy, too! I'm happy!
The park's just beyond
the Golden Gate Bridge.
[Ted coughing]
[helicopter whirring]
This ain't good.
Nobody move!
Mr. Wolfe! I'm so glad you're here!
Finally, we can clear this up.
I told you not to leave town!
I tried not to. Believe me.
[laughs nervously]
-You know, it's a funny story, really--
-Quiet!
Don't worry, Kayla.
Danno Wolfe is in charge now.
[grunts]
Out of my way, banana breath.
-Leave him alone!
-Go ahead.
I've taken an eight-week
internet course in karate.
-No!
-Hang on, Anna.
[grunting]
Oh, please. That old trick?
[screaming]
Pilot! Do something!
[Pilot] That's a 10-4, boss!
[gasps]
You're all in my custody now!
Don't make me come out of this barrel!
Sorry, Mr. Wolfe.
I made a promise to my monkey.
I'm taking Kayla to see her family.
[siren wailing]
Ah!
My backup.
You have to hide. Now!
Not so easy with an elephant,
a monkey and a bright yellow suit!
I've got an idea. Come on.
[grunting]
[birds cawing]
[Ted reading] California Animal Park,
next left. Great!
[Ted] Kayla, look out!
A bus?
[Ted] No! No!
[exclaiming]
Kayla, wait!
[trumpeting]
Come on, George!
Hi, folks! Here is your complimentary map.
[screams]
Apparently, she knows the way!
[chattering]
[people exclaiming]
That's gonna cost us.
-Is that an elephant?
-Look out! Wild elephant!
[laughing]
[trumpeting]
She sure was homesick.
You know,
coming here was a good idea, George.
It was all worth it for this.
Okay, I could have lived
without the driving off a cliff,
but I had the best time of my life!
Thanks to you, George.
Aha!
[gibbering]
Rogue elephant! Stop her!
No! No, she's harmless!
[Ted] Kayla, look out!
[trumpeting]
No. Hey!
Your crime spree ends here, monkey.
You have the right to remain silent.
Anything you say...
Chitter...
Can and will be used
against you in a court of law.
[Ted sighing]
Well, we'll be on the ground soon.
George, when we land,
some policemen are going to come,
and, well, I'm probably going to
have to go away for a while.
But don't worry.
Maggie will take good care of you.
I promise.
I don't want to leave you, either, pal.
[gasps]
[exclaims in mock sympathy]
Aww.
The elephant kidnappers
are having a moment.
Now I'm supposed to get all mushy
and let you go.
You see this? Not an ounce of mush.
What do you want?
Me? Nothing.
I have everything
I could ever possibly need.
You, the elephant, even this.
Would the monkey like a nice,
yellow banana?
[chattering]
If you can get it, it's yours.
[laughing]
Stop that!
[grunting]
[laughs]
There, there, elephant.
Here, go ahead and eat.
The man and the monkey can't hurt you now.
What? What? What?
You are a worthy opponent, monkey.
You're gonna have to do better than that
to get the best of me,
Danno Wolfe, Apprentice P.I.
Nice going, George!
We still need a plan.
We gotta reach Piccadilly
before the plane lands,
let him know this was
just a big misunderstanding.
[beeping]
What's that?
Cargo door probably popped open.
-Again.
-I'll secure it.
After you jump, just give it a pull.
Uh-oh!
Stop!
Oh!
Easy, now.
[exclaiming]
Here goes!
[screaming]
[screaming]
-Gotcha!
-Mr. Wolfe...
Head of Security.
George! Pull the ring beside you!
[screaming]
I'm losing my grip here!
Hang on just a bit longer!
About to plummet! [screaming]
Oh, boy.
Earth! That's good.
[gasping]
I jumped from a plane
without a parachute and survived!
I am awesome!
Oh!
That was fun, wasn't it?
[Wolfe] Hey! Can't see!
[laughs]
Didn't think the whole
"no parachute" thing through, huh?
Come on, we've got to get
to the theatre, George!
Oh, no, you don't!
[thundering]
Hey! Wait for me!
[door buzzes]
[squawking]
We must be under the stage.
And now, for my final feat of magic,
I shall produce, from thin air...
A water fowl.
Oh! Who am I kidding?
There's no such thing as magic.
-What?
-What?
How it works is,
there are a bunch of levers and pulleys
and a dumb little button.
You push it, and...
[clicks]
[audience exclaiming]
[gasps]
Kayla! Oh, my!
Is it... Is it you?
[trumpets]
It is magic!
[man] Hear, hear!
Oh!
My beautiful Kayla!
[Wolfe exclaims]
I have you now, monkey.
[screams]
[crashing]
Oh, guess who's back.
No monkey makes a chimp out of me!
Whoa!
[screams]
Put me down! Help! Mad elephant!
[both laughing]
What am I...
What am I doing wrong?
I think you need to work
on your people skills.
I bet they have
an Internet course for that.
Mmm, mmm, mmm.
[audience applauding]
Oh, boy! I'm late for the Board meeting!
[chattering]
[Ted] Ladies and gentlemen,
I am really dedicated to this museum,
but between going cross-country
with my monkey,
falling off a train, biking off a cliff
and leaping from an airplane
with an elephant...
Well, you know what that's like.
Maybe not. It... It...
It's just,
I got my priorities all mixed up.
Or...
Maybe they were mixed up before.
'Cause I've learned more
from one little monkey
than I ever figured out
from all my multicolored pie charts.
This is what matters.
Families, friends, loved ones.
People, coming together.
It's my top priority,
and it should be this museum's!
We'll sponsor Living History days.
Young, old, father, son,
"All for One, One for All" days!
We'll share our past, our present,
our hopes, plans and dreams!
Also, I have a few ideas
for some cafeteria specials.
[clapping]
Hole in one! [laughs]
Congratulations, Mr. Director.
[chuckles]
Thank you, Mr. Bloomsberry.
Thank you very much.
[chattering happily]
But I owe it all to George.
[laughing]
Whoa!
Hang on, George!
[trumpeting]
["Life Less Ordinary" playing]
[trumpeting]
[chattering happily]
-Well, look at that.
-Oh, my goodness!
Live a life less sanitary...
[laughing]
-Cheers!
-You're here!
All of us!
Are Tonga and Layla visiting?
Visiting? They've joined my act!
Now Kayla has her family,
and my act has three times the magic.
[wind blowing]
[Ted] My hat!
Search around to find
Something different every time
[chattering]
We'll look inside the day
One look is all it really takes
To live and learn and grow
Along every path we go
The day you came into my life
Well, it took the bones of me
Took the bones of me...
[chuckling]
[Maggie] What's he doing?
Just in time
To catch a ride...
[all laughing]
[Ted] Nice trick, George!
So come along
And we can leave today
[Piccadilly] I taught him
everything he knows.
Walking in the sun
We think of all the places
We have been
Just walking in the sun
Full circle back
To our family and our friends
The world is bright before your eyes
And you know it's full of surprise
The world is curved
Just take the turn
And you know it's full of surprise
The world is round
And the further out we go
We're one step closer to home
We're one step closer to home
Everyone is here
A warm embrace
If we should ever fall
Worry disappears
We're safe inside
The greatest place of all
The world is bright before your eyes
And you know it's full of surprise
The world is curved
Just take the turn
And you know it's full of surprise
The world is round
And the further out we go
We're one step closer to home
We're one step closer to home
Walking in the sun
We think of all the places
Left to go
But nothing else compares
To our family and our friends
That bring us back home
The world is bright before your eyes
And you know it's full of surprise
The world is curved
Just take the turn
And you know it's full of surprise
The world is round
And the further out we go
We're one step closer to home
[chattering]
Live a life less ordinary
Live a life extraordinary with me
Good morning, George!
Live a life less sanitary
Live a life evolutionary with me
[whoops]
Up she goes!
Well, I hate to be a bother
But it's you and there's no other
I do believe
Thanks, George!
But I know me very well
At least as far as I can tell
And I know what I need
The day you came into my life
Well, it took the bones of me
Took the bones of me
You blew away my storm and strife
And shook the bones of me
Shook the bones of me
Just in time to
Catch a ride to
[laughing]
Come along and we can leave today
Live a life less ordinary
Live a life extraordinary with me
[exclaims]
My face had said too much
Before our hands could even touch
To greet "hello"
So much for going slow
[gibbering]
Hey! The comics are good today, George!
Okay, I'll put it on your tab.
Enjoy!
Face along with me
Let's fill ourselves with curiosity
Search around to find
Something different every time
Looking inside the day one can
It's all it really takes
To live and learn and grow
[water bubbling]
The night you came into my life
Well, it took the bones of me
Took the bones of me
[giggling]
You blew away my storm and strife
And shook the bones of me
Shook the bones of me
Just in time to
Catch a ride to
Somethin' great
[chattering]
So come along and
We can leave today
[chatters]
[chatters]
Ah!
[exclaiming]
[chuckles]
[Ted snoring]
[exclaims]
[grunting]
[chattering]
Okay. Okay. Okay.
Now I'm awake.
[alarm ringing]
7:45? Oh, no, I'm late!
[exclaiming]
Oh!
[chattering]
[Ted muttering]
Sorry, George, I don't have time
for the paper today.
I'm late for my meeting
with Mr. Bloomsberry.
Wish me luck!
[sighs]
[Ted] Reason 12, I organized
all the pencils in the museum
according to size and sharpness.
Reason 24, I arranged for the toothbrushes
of the British royalty exhibit...
Well, the display case, whatever.
Reason 33, I color-coded
the color-code labels.
Sorry I'm late, Mr. Bloomsberry.
-Fore!
-Whoa!
[clattering]
[sighs in relief]
[clears throat]
Since you announced your retirement,
I've been thinking,
and, well, I've put together 50 reasons,
Thirty-five sub-reasons and a handful
of compelling arguments
why, of all the candidates to replace you,
I should--
Ted, you're not one of the candidates.
Oh...
Thanks for seeing me, sir. I...
You're the only candidate.
-I am?
-Yes!
I couldn't imagine leaving
the Bloomsberry Museum
in the hands of anybody else.
Not even Junior Bloomsberry?
My son?
Heavens, no! He has other ambitions.
You've earned this, Ted.
[gasps]
Me, a museum director!
Wow!
And all you've got to do is get approved
by the Board of Directors
at their annual meeting next week.
The Board of Directors?
But they're powerful, intimidating men,
with moustaches!
And male pattern baldness.
Relax, Ted. They're just as scared of you
as you are of them.
-Really?
-Absolutely.
No, wait, that's bears.
Anyway, just tell the Board
your vision for the museum.
Make them believe in you.
Inspire them.
No...
Huh? Oh! Oh!
Okay.
Sure, I can do that.
[clattering]
[Maggie] Ted, all of your hard work
is finally paying off,
and I'm very proud of you.
But even future museum directors
need to take a little time off.
But I've only got one week
to put together
my whole
"Priorities for the Future" presentation.
Most people only talk about the future.
Not me.
I put it in a binder!
[George cooing]
Oh, Hi, George.
[chattering]
What?
[gibbering]
-You want to see the elephant?
-Uh-huh.
Sorry, George. Not today.
[sighs in disappointment]
I gotta pick the colors
for my bar graphs.
Today, I'm thinking earth tones.
-Has anybody seen my bar graphs?
-Bar graphs.
Hey! Mustard's a good color.
Ted, all this important stuff
isn't the most important stuff.
You need to think about your loved ones.
You mean George?
I think of him all the time.
Those aren't toys, George!
See? Just thought of him again.
Ted, the people you really care about,
and who care about you,
need your attention now.
Or there may not be a "later."
Do you understand?
Sure, I understand! I do!
Hey, George! Pack your smile!
We're going to see the elephant!
[chattering excitedly]
You see? I totally caught your drift!
We are so in sync!
See you later, Maggie.
Bye-bye!
Hey! You wanna come, too?
[sighs]
[people talking indistinctly]
Peculiar.
[exclaims]
[Tina] Ladies and gentlemen,
direct your eyes to center stage
as we present, direct from London,
that's in England,
the great Piccadilly!
[audience exclaiming]
[audience cheering]
Thank you, thank you.
I shall endeavor to amuse you
with prestidigitation,
memorization, legerdemain,
and other large words.
[chattering]
Ah, Tina, my lovely assistant.
If you would kindly step into
the enchanted cabinet.
Behold!
The insupposable metamorphosis of woman
into water fowl!
[squawking]
[chattering]
Ted...
And now, for an outstanding wonder,
hitherto unseen by civilized man.
Now, tell me, does anyone here
like blowing bubbles?
[chattering]
Well, next time, try this!
Kayla, the two-ton juggling pachyderm!
[audience laughing]
It's quite extraordinary.
Oh!
[audience gasping]
Oh, Kayla, there's no spunk in your trunk.
No pep in your proboscis.
No cause for alarm.
Elephants do not forget,
but sometimes they do get stage fright.
[audience laughing]
Now, for the next trick,
I require a volunteer from the audience.
[Maggie clears throat]
Ted?
Oh! Oh!
Right.
Yes, you, sir!
The man with the yellow hat!
Me?
Please, sir, join us on stage.
Oh! Gee. I have a bad case
of stage blight. Trite! Fright!
Obviously.
[chattering]
-Go! Go on. It'll be fun.
-Fun?
Okay, don't push. I'm good. I'm fine.
Heavens, what a fluorescent chapeau.
-May I?
-Well...
Oh, trust me.
Ah!
[twittering]
Sir, I'd like you to help me
make this elephant vanish!
All you have to do is say the magic words,
"Pachydermatus vamoosicus."
Pachydermatus what's-a-cus?
Close enough!
[audience laughing]
Thank you, thank you.
I'm sure you wish this would work
on the mother-in-law.
George! It's just a trick!
No problem.
I'll deal with the cheeky monkey.
Oh, boy.
[chattering]
George!
Come here.
[exclaiming]
[grunts]
-Yours?
-Yeah.
He's a tad curious, that's all.
His name's George.
[Piccadilly] Come out, Curious George.
[exclaiming]
[laughing]
[audience cheering]
[chuckles]
Yeah, thank you! Yes.
[quacks]
[exclaiming]
[sighs]
[chatters]
I wanna be the smile
I wanna see the change
I wanna be friend from the start
And once it starts
It never ends
I want to be your pal
I want to be around
I want to be your friend
[chattering excitedly]
I want to be the sunshine
On your smiling face
I want to be the moon
No, I want to be ocean
Where all we do is float
Under the sun on the rolling sea
Oh, I want to be the sunshine
No, I want to be the moonshine
I want to be the night time lullaby
When you're so afraid
And I think I found a way
[squawking]
To put a smile on your lonely face
[laughing]
[chattering]
I think I found a way
A way to break down all the walls
George? Where are you?
[gibbering]
I think about the way
To say hello
[buzzing]
I think about the way
To say hello
[door opening]
I think about the way
Without saying anything
At all
[exclaiming happily]
[quacking]
[Piccadilly] Kayla?
[footsteps approaching]
Kayla? Kayla!
Security!
[cameras clicking]
[squawking]
You think this innocent act of yours
is fooling anyone, huh?
You can go, for now.
If you feel like coming clean, contact me,
Danno Wolfe, Head of Security.
Hey, boss, I'm no expert,
but I can't help but notice
that none of these people
has an elephant-sized bulge
underneath their coats.
I suppose, Ms. Fisher,
you think that's clever, hmm?
But take away the elephant's water weight,
and you're left with 25 pounds
of minerals.
You think someone dehydrated the elephant?
A crime stuffer
never rules out a possibility.
Next!
I suggest no sudden moves.
He's high-strung.
Ah, yes.
The man with the mischievous monkey.
Not mischievous, just curious.
Where is he, anyway?
Well, believe it or not,
George has gone missing, too.
Really?
It's not that strange.
He probably wandered off.
He does it all the time.
You know, maybe Kayla wandered off
with George.
-So that's your story? Your monkey did it?
-No!
[laughing] Ticklish! Okay.
You know, I bet they're just
out having fun.
"Fun"? Kidnapping is fun to you?
I suppose murder's just
a party, then, huh?
Murder?
International espionage?
Just another day at the beach?
No! No! No beach!
[screams]
[thuds]
Listen, yellow man,
I've got my eye on you.
Don't leave town!
He never does.
[gasps]
The local police claim a lost elephant
is not their problem.
Doesn't matter. I've made it mine.
-I will find your hippo!
-Elephant!
Oh. Elephant. Sorry.
Baby elephant, alone in the big city.
She must be terrified.
[gibbering]
Sinatra. Hmm.
ABBA, eh.
Tchaikovsky.
[loud classical music playing]
Uh...
Hmm? Ah!
[chattering]
[loud thud]
Oh...
Oh!
[gibbering]
[grunts]
[laughing]
[laughs]
[clattering]
[screams]
And it was here
that this nightmare scenario first began.
Even the great Piccadilly, who makes
his living causing things to vanish,
is unable to explain
this apparent sleight of hand.
The magician acquired the elephant
a few months ago.
Kayla is seen here
with her brother Tonga and sister Layla.
[trumpeting]
Just a playful little elephant,
with no idea of the heart-rending drama
that lies ahead of her.
The elephant's original home
was this animal park in California.
Now animal lovers across the country
can only wait and wonder
what will become of her.
[exclaims]
George!
[chattering]
George, when I said no guests over
without permission,
I am pretty sure that included elephants.
This is Hark Hanson.
What were you thinking?
Peanuts. Yes.
Yes, of course.
Makes total sense.
Well, I better call Mr. Piccadilly
and tell him.
[phone line ringing]
[automated female voice] Thank you
for calling the Metropolitan Theater.
To continue this call in Spanish,
press one.
For Chinese, press two.
For Klingon, press cha.
For a schedule of upcoming events,
press one.
For a map, press two.
-You've reached Customer Service.
-Finally!
Our office hours are weekdays
from 10:00 to 6:00.
-Please call back then.
-[phone disconnects]
[groans]
[sighs] Come on, George.
We've got to take Kayla back home.
[chattering]
[sighs]
If we meet anyone, I'll do the talking.
Not sure what I'll say.
Any story that begins with
"my monkey and I" is trouble.
Mr. Piccadilly, how does this unexplained,
mysterious, near-disastrous
turn of events...
-Hey, look!
-...make you feel?
I've been imitated by idiots,
pilloried by critics
and walked out on by philistines,
but stealing a man's elephant...
[chattering]
that's just not done.
Kayla is not only the star of my show,
she's family.
Like an elephant could just walk away
and no one would notice.
[man on TV] Tragedy and intrigue.
Tonight, a special report
on the elephant kidnapping.
George? Kayla?
This is Hark Hanson on the elephant hunt.
George, no!
[George exclaims]
Well I'm going out west where I belong
Where the days are short
And the nights are long
[imperceptible]
Where they walk
And I'll walk
They twist
And I'll twist
They shimmy
And I'll shimmy
They fly
And I'll fly
Where they're out there having fun
In the warm California sun
Well, I'm going out west
Out on the coast...
[gasps]
Typical. My list just says trunk.
Who knew there'd be an elephant attached?
Well, the boxcar's empty.
[man over P.A.] Train 321 heading
to California all point express
will be leaving in 30 seconds
from Platform 7.
[trumpeting]
[trumpeting continues]
[mimics elephant]
George, what are you doing here?
[chattering]
Yeah. I know Kayla's an elephant.
She has to go home.
[chattering]
And so do we.
I have a big presentation to prepare,
and I haven't even begun to alphabetize.
[mimics train whistle]
Okay. I'm putting my foot down,
young monkey.
All aboard!
So, get out of this car, right now.
There is no way
we're riding a train tonight.
-Na-ah.
-[door rolling]
No. No! No! No, wait! Wait!
[Ted] Oh, my gosh,
there are no seatbelts.
Help. We're trapped.
[sighs] Great.
I've gone from museum director
to boxcar hobo.
And look at my priorities,
my poor beautiful priorities.
Does anybody see my pie charts?
[sighs] Never mind. I'll...
I'll just recreate them.
Wait. I have my phone.
No! No signal.
Come on, baby. Give me some signal.
Papa needs a new pair of bars.
Come on. Come on. Come on.
Wait. Now there's two.
Now there's... Now there's three.
[sighs]
Now there's none.
George, you're in my light.
You've seen the moon before.
A bird? Oh.
Flying. No.
No, the moon isn't flying.
[chattering]
Oh. I see.
Well, actually,
that's an interesting illusion.
See, the moon is far away,
and the trees are close,
so we get a parallax effect, where it's...
Or sometimes the man in the moon
looks down,
sees a little monkey he likes
and follows him.
Why don't you say good night to the moon
and go sleep with Kayla?
Good night, George.
[Wolfe] Come on in. We're all set up.
Brilliant! Extraordinary!
Impressive array.
Do they do anything?
Yeah! We've got security tapes,
satellite tracking,
thermal vision, wiretaps,
fingerprint databases,
spectral and DNA analysis,
and, um, and the theatre organ.
This was the only room available
on short notice.
But not to worry!
Stand back and behold
the future of crime stuffing!
[machine powering down]
Uh, you forgot to plug in the future.
[chuckles] Oops.
[machine powering up]
Oh, spot on, Mr. Wolfe.
[birds chirping]
[train horn hooting]
[snoring]
[snoring]
[music playing]
[beeping]
[phone line ringing]
[automated female voice] Thank you
for calling the Metropolitan Theater.
For Spanish, press one,
for Chinese, press two...
[speaking Mandarin]
[chattering]
[shrieking]
[trumpeting]
[beeping]
[snoring]
[chuckles]
[exhaling]
[screams]
Kayla. George.
Train. Right.
Wow, the Gateway Arch.
This is St. Louis.
When the train stops,
we can yell for someone to let us out.
We're going home!
That was... St. Louis.
Okay. Okay. I'm not gonna freak out.
My cell phone should work here,
but it has a dead battery.
Um, Kayla, George, cover your ears.
Okay.
Now I'm freaking out!
[George chattering on recording]
Ms. Fisher! You should hear this.
It came into the call center as Chinese.
-Get a translator.
-That's a monkey.
Don't be silly.
Monkeys don't speak Chinese.
[automated voice]
Beginning voice recognition.
We have a voice-print match.
It's a monkey!
Your powers of observation are dizzying.
Oh, "dizzying."
I like that. Yes, thank you, Ms. Fisher.
There's no signal from the phone.
Let's review.
Why would a Chinese-speaking monkey call,
then disable the phone?
Answer? Because he's taunting us!
Ms. Fisher, this may be
the most devious monkey ever.
[chattering]
[screams]
George! Wh-what are you doing?
This is my presentation to the Board!
I have to find a way out of here!
[grunting]
Just another inch...
[grunting]
The handle's too far.
I'm sorry I yelled at you.
It's just that these three little rings
hold my entire career.
My whole future
is all in this little binder.
So, just be more careful, okay?
Oh! No! No!
[screams]
-[railroad crossing bell rings]
-Oh, boy!
[screaming]
[grunting]
[screaming]
I'm okay.
I'm okay!
I'll catch up with you, George!
Promise!
[chattering]
[whimpering]
[sighs]
[panting]
You've got to stop the California Express!
-Are you talking to me?
-Yes!
No, siree.
The C.E. don't stop for nothing!
For nobody. No one.
Except for fuel in Grand Junction.
Listen, we're talking
a genuine emergency, here!
My monkey and elephant
and all my priorities
are trapped in a boxcar
headed to California,
but I was bushwhacked, literally,
and fell off the train, and--
And you hit your head, I reckon.
Well, yes, but I...
[sighs] Never mind.
My cell phone is dead.
I need to make a call.
I'll bet you do.
Well, I figure I can charge your phone,
but you're gonna have
to call your monkey outside.
First, I'll call Piccadilly.
Then, I'll catch up with the train.
You're saying my elephant
was kidnapped by a monkey?
I suppose he wants 20 pounds
in unmarked bananas.
Don't be fooled.
I can read a criminal face.
That monkey's a lifetime offender.
Probably started off kidnapping squirrels.
That's the gateway animal.
[automated female voice]
For English, press 99.
Come on! I'm running out of change!
[phone ringing]
Pilfered Pachyderm Unit, can I help you?
Hi. I have your elephant.
[whispering] It's the kidnapper!
Beginning trace.
Okay, first,
I want you to know she's okay.
-Second...
-[automated voice] Five seconds.
Please deposit $2 for another minute...
I need more money.
-What do they want?
-You need money?
Yes! But your elephant is fine. Just fine.
...or $5 for 10 minutes.
Can I just...
And that includes a subscription
to Payphone Weekly.
I need that money!
[gasps]
Oh, nuts!
[dial tone]
Look, I'll talk fast. We'll be home soon,
and everything is gonna be fine.
[sighs]
Well! At least I got that covered.
It's a kidnapping, all right.
But that was no monkey.
Nobody can fool you, Crime Stuffer Wolfe.
The situation is worse than I thought.
Our monkey has an accomplice.
Oh, my poor Kayla.
I suspect this man.
[screen pings]
Blimey! I would never have believed it.
That's because you haven't taken
the online Crime Stuffer
Correspondence Course.
I have.
It's true what they say.
You don't appreciate your elephant
till she's gone.
You must get Kayla back!
Gotcha! The call came from a pay phone
in Humbleton, Colorado.
[Ted] No taxi? No bus? No car for rent?
Let me see. Would you like
the Bentley or the Lamborghini?
[sighs] Don't you have
any form of transportation?
Just my bike.
[grunting]
[whimpers]
[chattering]
[sniffing]
[chattering]
[humming]
[gasps]
[trumpets]
[chatters]
[chuckles]
George! George!
[shouting] I'm going to go up to the front
and get them to stop the train!
[gasps]
Oh, no!
[distorted] No!
[grunts]
[laughs]
No one has ever been happier
to see his monkey...
And elephant.
Thanks, Kayla.
[gasping]
I missed you, too.
[phone line ringing]
[automated female voice] Thank you
for calling the Metropolitan Theater.
-Pick up. Pick up!
-Security.
ETA, Ms. Fisher?
Ten minutes closer
than the last time you asked me.
Coffee much, Ms. Fisher?
[beeping]
Oh, hang on.
We're picking up
his cell phone signal again,
from the same coordinates
as the pay phone.
Bingo! I've got them cornered.
[exclaiming] Freeze! Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Horse feathers! Look what you did!
What are you doing with that phone?
Nothing, now that you made me break it.
I mean, where did you get it?
From some guy.
Is this the man?
Hard to say.
How about now?
Yep, that's him.
Strange fellow.
He was chasing after
the California Express.
Oh!
And where's that train going?
California.
-But she does stop in Grand Junction.
-Really?
You're always one step ahead of me.
But I'm on to you now, and I'm closing in.
Mister, are you talking to that picture?
I've got a train to catch.
[gibbering]
Hey, she's getting good.
Oh. You guys been practicing?
Oh, sure!
Kayla can probably handle one more.
Right, Kayla?
[George exclaiming]
George!
My binder!
[George chattering]
["On A Roll" playing]
Say! We're picking up speed!
[bellows]
No, no, no, no, no, no!
Oh, boy!
[gasping]
[screaming]
[crickets chirping]
Oh, boy!
Well... Well, that was a...
I may need some time to process that.
You get the elephant.
The monkey and the man with the yellow hat
are mine.
[laughs]
Well, what do you know?
Fourteen minutes early.
[exclaims]
Danno Wolfe, Security!
Where's the elephant?
Where's the rest of my train?
I don't know what's worse,
blowing my career
or having a blister on my toe
the size of Texas.
Okay, Rhode Island.
Come on, guys! Stop goofing around!
Seriously, if you're not careful...
[gibbering]
That might happen.
[laughs]
You think that's funny?
You could've really gotten hurt.
We should be looking for a road,
and instead you're...
George! You found a road!
Oh!
Okay! A road!
Ha! We just catch a ride east,
and we are on our way!
Okay, this is gonna be hard.
[tires squealing]
Or not.
As part of our round-the-clock
elephant-napping special coverage,
I'm pleased to have the great Piccadilly,
the traumatized victim.
These past 24 hours
have been hard on all of us,
though perhaps even more so for you...
-Oh--
-Your naked suffering on display
-before a watching, waiting world...
-I--
While you wonder
who's made off with your elephant!
-Well, I--
-I mean, here you are, powerless,
while your elephant is in the hands of...
-Well, who knows?
-"Who knows?"
I know!
It's these two.
America is mad. Let's hear you speak out!
What kind of monster
would take an elephant?
Ooh!
Elephant stealers should go to jail
for, like, a million years!
-I know Ted.
-Huh?
He's a good man.
There must be some explanation.
[groaning]
You know, despite everything,
it's been kind of nice getting away.
Still, it'll be good to get back to...
"California's best"? "Avocados"?
-Surfers?
-[horn honking]
We're in California!
[chattering happily]
[sighs]
Why didn't someone tell me
we were going in the wrong direction?
Aren't animals supposed to have
instincts about this stuff?
Welcome back to The Network News
with Hark Hanson.
It's time to hear what the suspected
elephant-napper's employer has to say.
I don't understand it.
Ted's the most honest man I know.
He once walked three miles
to return change to a customer.
Wait, that was Abraham Lincoln.
Well, thank you, Mr. Bloomsberry.
Come on.
Kick it in.
Hey, there. Can we help?
-"We"?
-[trumpeting]
Is that an elephant?
[trumpeting]
-Well, I'll be.
-[Anna gasps]
Is that a monkey?
-That's George.
-That's Anna.
Any way I can thank you, Mister?
Well, can I use your phone?
[Ted] I guess she's about two tons.
That's right.
And I'll have to pay you later.
I left town unexpectedly.
Well, it's a long story.
[grunting]
One more!
[George laughing]
Well, the good news is,
I found a freight company
that will ship Kayla back home.
The bad news is, they charge by the pound.
And they can't come until tomorrow.
Well, then it looks like
we've got house guests.
[laughing]
They're having a pretty good time.
[Dan] That's my girl!
-Seems like it's your turn, Ted.
-Me? Oh, no. No.
Jumping into hay from a great height
is not my idea of...
Whoa!
Hey, that wasn't so bad.
[grunts]
Okay, I could have lived
without that, though.
[laughs]
[cow mooing]
[mooing]
[imitating cow mooing]
[chuckles]
[mooing]
["Heart of the day" playing]
Yuck!
[laughs]
[Anna] Hey!
Just long enough to catch our breath
And come alive
Just long enough
For changing up the scenery
To where we really want to be
[all laughing]
Everything is fine
One step at a time
To find our way
To the heart of the day
George, those are dirty.
They should be washed,
and sanitized, and pasteurized and...
These are amazing!
It's like there's a party in my mouth!
[grunting]
We're jumpin' out of time
We're runnin' with the wind
[snorting]
But there's no finish line
We're getting lost along the way
And everything is fine
Just step outside ourselves
And suddenly we see
This is where we ought to be
Everything is fine
Just take it one step at a time
To notice life along the way
Hey, everything is fine
[exclaiming excitedly]
One step at a time
To find our way
To the heart of the day
-Come on, Ted!
-Come on in!
[yelling]
[chuckling]
Everything is fine...
-[Dan] Clear the pool!
-[Ted] No. No! No! No!
[all exclaiming and cheering]
[laughing]
One step at a time
To find our way
To the heart of the day
[whispering] Where's my bathing suit?
[Ted] Oh. What a day.
I haven't had this much fun since...
Well, probably the week
I first met George.
Remember?
Yes.
Peekaboo.
Chased by a rhino.
Bitten by giant bugs. Ah.
Good times.
[car horn honking]
[Dan] The paper's here!
-George loves the comics.
-Be my guest.
Oh, my gosh. Look!
They've got a story about Kayla!
"California Animal Park."
Kayla came from
the California Animal Park?
[chattering]
And these other two elephants
are her brother and sister?
[exclaims] Wow.
You knew all that before,
didn't you, George?
[George] Uh huh.
That's why you brought us to California.
So Kayla could see her family.
[chattering in agreement]
Hey, look!
They've got a picture
of you and George, too!
Huh?
[Ted reading] Elephant-nappers at large!
What?
That's impossible! I called!
It was taken care of!
[phone ringing]
-[Ted] Mr. Bloomsberry?
-Ted?
Where are you?
People think you stole an elephant!
I know! It's crazy!
-[trumpeting]
-[laughing]
Well, it's a little crazy.
The museum's swarming with people!
Everyone's looking for you.
-For me?
-And George!
It's all over the news!
[Ted] But... But I called!
Oh. Do you think this will affect
the Board's decision?
Forget the Board! You may go to jail!
Jail?
[beeps]
[exclaims] Oh... I got you!
Listen, Mr. Bloomsberry.
I'll get this all straightened out.
We'll be home tomorrow! I promise!
[Anna] So, you're not taking Kayla
to see her family?
I never was. I can't!
I'm sorry, George.
[chattering]
George, listen to me, okay?
I know you want Kayla to see her family,
but Mr. Piccadilly
has been looking for her
and wants her back.
No, George! We're in big trouble!
The big, legal, "Go directly to jail,
do not pass Go" kind.
Don't you understand?
[sighs]
I know you didn't mean
to get us into this mess,
but you have.
And it ends now.
[sighs]
Look, I'm sorry!
I just don't have any other choice!
Still friends?
["Let Your Troubles Roll By" playing]
Love endures
It clings away
-Come on, Anna. Let's get ready for bed.
-Okay.
When asked to leave
It begs to stay
Like the perfect song
At imperfect times
It's the way the chords
Struck with the rhymes
[sighs]
So let your troubles roll by
He knows
He can help himself
He can tell by a look
At the books on his shelf
And someone, somewhere
Is out on their own
But they're losing the way
As they make their way home
And he feels the dream
Will freeze if it's left alone
In the cold
Where does the time go?
He plays it safe
He's in slow motion
Keepin' in touch
With the lost emotion
[cock crowing]
[yawning]
-Morning, Ted. Sleep well?
-Not a wink.
Do you suppose
they'll let me keep my hat in prison?
Hang in there, Ted.
I figure this mess
will get straightened out.
You think?
But then what?
What museum is gonna hire
a famous fugitive
from justice as their director?
You sure do worry a lot.
Well, let's see.
I'm wanted in 24 states,
I'm hated in all 50,
my career is down the toilet,
and George and I will end up
on the streets
with a tin cup, playing the hurdy-gurdy!
You bet I'm worried!
Yep, guess you're right.
Can't get any worse than that.
[sighs] Right.
[trumpeting]
[laughing]
Yeah, can't get any worse.
Guess not.
Wait up!
So, what am I worried about?
Come on, George! Come on, Kayla!
If we're gonna make it to the animal park,
we'd better get moving!
[cheering] Yay!
Why not?
If things can't get any worse,
they can only get better, right?
So, let's have an elephant family reunion!
[chattering happily]
Oh! Okay! Okay! I'm happy, too! I'm happy!
The park's just beyond
the Golden Gate Bridge.
[Ted coughing]
[helicopter whirring]
This ain't good.
Nobody move!
Mr. Wolfe! I'm so glad you're here!
Finally, we can clear this up.
I told you not to leave town!
I tried not to. Believe me.
[laughs nervously]
-You know, it's a funny story, really--
-Quiet!
Don't worry, Kayla.
Danno Wolfe is in charge now.
[grunts]
Out of my way, banana breath.
-Leave him alone!
-Go ahead.
I've taken an eight-week
internet course in karate.
-No!
-Hang on, Anna.
[grunting]
Oh, please. That old trick?
[screaming]
Pilot! Do something!
[Pilot] That's a 10-4, boss!
[gasps]
You're all in my custody now!
Don't make me come out of this barrel!
Sorry, Mr. Wolfe.
I made a promise to my monkey.
I'm taking Kayla to see her family.
[siren wailing]
Ah!
My backup.
You have to hide. Now!
Not so easy with an elephant,
a monkey and a bright yellow suit!
I've got an idea. Come on.
[grunting]
[birds cawing]
[Ted reading] California Animal Park,
next left. Great!
[Ted] Kayla, look out!
A bus?
[Ted] No! No!
[exclaiming]
Kayla, wait!
[trumpeting]
Come on, George!
Hi, folks! Here is your complimentary map.
[screams]
Apparently, she knows the way!
[chattering]
[people exclaiming]
That's gonna cost us.
-Is that an elephant?
-Look out! Wild elephant!
[laughing]
[trumpeting]
She sure was homesick.
You know,
coming here was a good idea, George.
It was all worth it for this.
Okay, I could have lived
without the driving off a cliff,
but I had the best time of my life!
Thanks to you, George.
Aha!
[gibbering]
Rogue elephant! Stop her!
No! No, she's harmless!
[Ted] Kayla, look out!
[trumpeting]
No. Hey!
Your crime spree ends here, monkey.
You have the right to remain silent.
Anything you say...
Chitter...
Can and will be used
against you in a court of law.
[Ted sighing]
Well, we'll be on the ground soon.
George, when we land,
some policemen are going to come,
and, well, I'm probably going to
have to go away for a while.
But don't worry.
Maggie will take good care of you.
I promise.
I don't want to leave you, either, pal.
[gasps]
[exclaims in mock sympathy]
Aww.
The elephant kidnappers
are having a moment.
Now I'm supposed to get all mushy
and let you go.
You see this? Not an ounce of mush.
What do you want?
Me? Nothing.
I have everything
I could ever possibly need.
You, the elephant, even this.
Would the monkey like a nice,
yellow banana?
[chattering]
If you can get it, it's yours.
[laughing]
Stop that!
[grunting]
[laughs]
There, there, elephant.
Here, go ahead and eat.
The man and the monkey can't hurt you now.
What? What? What?
You are a worthy opponent, monkey.
You're gonna have to do better than that
to get the best of me,
Danno Wolfe, Apprentice P.I.
Nice going, George!
We still need a plan.
We gotta reach Piccadilly
before the plane lands,
let him know this was
just a big misunderstanding.
[beeping]
What's that?
Cargo door probably popped open.
-Again.
-I'll secure it.
After you jump, just give it a pull.
Uh-oh!
Stop!
Oh!
Easy, now.
[exclaiming]
Here goes!
[screaming]
[screaming]
-Gotcha!
-Mr. Wolfe...
Head of Security.
George! Pull the ring beside you!
[screaming]
I'm losing my grip here!
Hang on just a bit longer!
About to plummet! [screaming]
Oh, boy.
Earth! That's good.
[gasping]
I jumped from a plane
without a parachute and survived!
I am awesome!
Oh!
That was fun, wasn't it?
[Wolfe] Hey! Can't see!
[laughs]
Didn't think the whole
"no parachute" thing through, huh?
Come on, we've got to get
to the theatre, George!
Oh, no, you don't!
[thundering]
Hey! Wait for me!
[door buzzes]
[squawking]
We must be under the stage.
And now, for my final feat of magic,
I shall produce, from thin air...
A water fowl.
Oh! Who am I kidding?
There's no such thing as magic.
-What?
-What?
How it works is,
there are a bunch of levers and pulleys
and a dumb little button.
You push it, and...
[clicks]
[audience exclaiming]
[gasps]
Kayla! Oh, my!
Is it... Is it you?
[trumpets]
It is magic!
[man] Hear, hear!
Oh!
My beautiful Kayla!
[Wolfe exclaims]
I have you now, monkey.
[screams]
[crashing]
Oh, guess who's back.
No monkey makes a chimp out of me!
Whoa!
[screams]
Put me down! Help! Mad elephant!
[both laughing]
What am I...
What am I doing wrong?
I think you need to work
on your people skills.
I bet they have
an Internet course for that.
Mmm, mmm, mmm.
[audience applauding]
Oh, boy! I'm late for the Board meeting!
[chattering]
[Ted] Ladies and gentlemen,
I am really dedicated to this museum,
but between going cross-country
with my monkey,
falling off a train, biking off a cliff
and leaping from an airplane
with an elephant...
Well, you know what that's like.
Maybe not. It... It...
It's just,
I got my priorities all mixed up.
Or...
Maybe they were mixed up before.
'Cause I've learned more
from one little monkey
than I ever figured out
from all my multicolored pie charts.
This is what matters.
Families, friends, loved ones.
People, coming together.
It's my top priority,
and it should be this museum's!
We'll sponsor Living History days.
Young, old, father, son,
"All for One, One for All" days!
We'll share our past, our present,
our hopes, plans and dreams!
Also, I have a few ideas
for some cafeteria specials.
[clapping]
Hole in one! [laughs]
Congratulations, Mr. Director.
[chuckles]
Thank you, Mr. Bloomsberry.
Thank you very much.
[chattering happily]
But I owe it all to George.
[laughing]
Whoa!
Hang on, George!
[trumpeting]
["Life Less Ordinary" playing]
[trumpeting]
[chattering happily]
-Well, look at that.
-Oh, my goodness!
Live a life less sanitary...
[laughing]
-Cheers!
-You're here!
All of us!
Are Tonga and Layla visiting?
Visiting? They've joined my act!
Now Kayla has her family,
and my act has three times the magic.
[wind blowing]
[Ted] My hat!
Search around to find
Something different every time
[chattering]
We'll look inside the day
One look is all it really takes
To live and learn and grow
Along every path we go
The day you came into my life
Well, it took the bones of me
Took the bones of me...
[chuckling]
[Maggie] What's he doing?
Just in time
To catch a ride...
[all laughing]
[Ted] Nice trick, George!
So come along
And we can leave today
[Piccadilly] I taught him
everything he knows.
Walking in the sun
We think of all the places
We have been
Just walking in the sun
Full circle back
To our family and our friends
The world is bright before your eyes
And you know it's full of surprise
The world is curved
Just take the turn
And you know it's full of surprise
The world is round
And the further out we go
We're one step closer to home
We're one step closer to home
Everyone is here
A warm embrace
If we should ever fall
Worry disappears
We're safe inside
The greatest place of all
The world is bright before your eyes
And you know it's full of surprise
The world is curved
Just take the turn
And you know it's full of surprise
The world is round
And the further out we go
We're one step closer to home
We're one step closer to home
Walking in the sun
We think of all the places
Left to go
But nothing else compares
To our family and our friends
That bring us back home
The world is bright before your eyes
And you know it's full of surprise
The world is curved
Just take the turn
And you know it's full of surprise
The world is round
And the further out we go
We're one step closer to home