Cursed Hearse (2026) Movie Script
1
Fuck!
Third time this
month, isn't it?
Yeah.
Job security.
I love it!
Yeah, well, you
are an asshole.
True story.
Look, where am I taking this?
Back to your uncle's shop?
Fuck.
No.
Yeah, take it there.
You drop me off at my
fucking stupid job first.
Again?
It's a fucking piece of shit.
Yeah?
But it does get me
out of the station.
I mean, other than the stacks of
cold cases I stare at every day.
There's not much
going on in this town,
so it gives me something to do.
Oh.
I'm, like, so glad
that I can help.
You have?
OK.
Have a nice day.
Hey, Nana.
You're
so good at this.
I know.
It's one of my many talents.
Ah!
Oh, Willoughby.
Greg?
I think you fixed it.
Oh.
Well, that's good,
because I don't
wanna be late for my
tanning appointment
at Little Beaver salon.
Bye, sexy.
Don't miss me too much.
Nana, does he live here now?
Oh, you.
And what about
your teeth, Nana?
He can't even remind
you to put them in?
I just-- why do you
need a sugar baby, Nana?
Well, who's gonna take
care of me when I get old?
Me.
Oh, dear.
I don't wanna be a burden.
That's stupid.
Well, good night, Nana.
Good night, dear.
What?
I wanted to talk to you.
What the fuck?
Listen.
I know it must be weird,
someone your age coming in here
and dating your nana.
Dude, how old are you?
It's getting pretty serious.
But I want you to know.
I understand, I can never
replace your real grandfather.
But I hope we can be close.
I'm so glad we had this talk.
It's so open and healthy
and communicative.
And that's what I admire
about you most, Willoughby.
Dude.
Will, Bill, William,
if you must.
But you are, like, the
only fucking person
that calls me Willoughby.
It's because we're family.
Almost.
Morning, sunshine.
Oh.
Morning, Nana.
Oh.
Good morning, dear.
You are just full of
surprises, aren't you?
Ooh, sexy.
Whew.
It's almost time.
Dear?
Silly Halloween.
Oh.
Yeah, your favorite.
So much fun.
So much fun.
Mm-hmm.
I gotta go to Uncle Dickey's
and check on my car.
OK, dear.
My brother, your granddaddy,
now he know how to fix a car.
I'll give him that, at least.
Did you see my car out there?
Yep.
OK.
So--
Do you even have money
to fix it this time?
Not-- not really.
I'm saving up for a new car.
I told you that.
Yeah.
Really.
So what?
This piece of shit
is my problem now?
OK.
Well, I'm just gonna
walk to work now.
OK.
Big job.
Big phone rip.
Big phone rip.
Whoa.
This is a great product
at an affordable price.
Well, how would you like to
hear that we have the solution--
I'm sure you'll agree.
For all your problems.
We are currently offering
a buy one, get one--
Product solves all--
Hello?
Hello?
I can offer you this.
I'm so done with this place.
Will, you sound good, man.
It's ridiculous.
Best to keep everything
in perspective.
All right, clowns.
Hey, hey!
Shift's over.
We got three sales today.
You all suck.
Oh, Will.
You especially suck.
Fuck!
This is so fucked.
I'm walking from
my first shitty job
to my second shitty fucking job.
Gotta make a living, dude.
When I developed asthma,
my life drastically changed.
My income came to
a screeching halt.
Yeah?
Yeah.
First, you make the money, then
you put it to work for you.
Like a businessman.
Like me.
I'm a businessman.
I always push.
Dude.
Just sitting there.
Yeah, that's his jam.
I remember him from,
like, the fifth grade.
Old man Pat.
Blind as a bat.
All I want is to be promoted
at Little Beaver's Pizza.
Man, Little Beaver's
Pizza sucks my ass.
San Remo's pizza,
that's where it's at.
Right, Will?
Will?
What?
Yeah.
Where are all
the scary costumes?
Do you know what I like to do
after a long, hard workday here?
No.
Well, I'll tell you.
I like to go home and relax.
Take a hot bath with my wife.
Do you know why?
Why?
Cause the hot
water makes her skin
feel like she's still alive.
What is this?
Uh.
This shit.
This is the samurai costume
display you asked me to set up.
Imagine, if you
can, that you're
a proud and powerful samurai.
Can you do that for me?
I don't think so.
Try.
OK.
Great.
Now, would a samurai call
this a samurai display?
Know the fucking products!
It shows them some respect!
Can I take my break?
Two minutes.
What about you, sugarplum?
You being productive, at least?
Yeah.
My section is in lockdown.
Oof.
You're good.
That's not the only
reason you're my favorite.
You're late.
It's like--
Welcome to Little
Beaver Halloween City.
Oh.
Hey, Rosemary.
Thought you left.
You're
such an asshole.
Yeah.
You think?
Hey, we are doing a haunted
house for the kids at the rec.
You should come
and check it out.
You know, I'm actually
buying an old hearse.
And it could be, like, a
really cool prop for the thing
that you're doing at the--
the rec center.
Really?
Yeah, I'm definitely
gonna get it.
My car is, like, totally
out of commission.
So--
So you're buying a hearse?
Yeah.
That's-- that's cool.
I'm starting a
limousine company.
Cool.
You're the first
person I told.
Thank you for sharing.
Yeah.
And it's practical,
too, since I need a car.
You need a ride?
I do need a ride.
Maybe next time, you can
drive me home in your hearse.
Yeah, with my hearse.
Yeah, I can--
I can totally do that.
So we've been friends
for, like, since my mom
and me moved here.
It's been a really long time.
Yeah.
I think we should go on a date.
Really?
Yeah.
OK.
Is it--
Yeah, it's Lavash.
He scared me.
Yeah.
He looks like a
Halloween scarecrow.
Hi, Lavash.
Hi, Rosemary.
Where's Sid?
He's in the woods,
taking a piss.
All right.
I'll see you tomorrow.
You're so naughty.
Naughty but nice.
Sid, he's here.
Let's party!
It's Tuesday.
And you said you would write
me the letter of recommendation
for my promotion.
And I brought us some pizza.
It's from Little Beavers.
Yeah.
No shit.
Oh, you.
All right.
All right.
What's the plan?
I got something I gotta do.
What the fuck, man?
Yeah.
What the heck?
- Dude, yeah.
What the heck?
Dude, just swear.
You sound like an asshole.
Yo, Will.
Can we still hang in the garage?
We can hang in the garage, man.
Sid, will you write a
letter of recommendation?
Hell, no.
Hey.
Is that hearse for sale?
You interested in
that ride, are you?
She run?
Oh, she runs all right.
Well, what's the price?
Your soul, boy.
Do you even know
what that car is?
Yeah.
It's a-- like an old hearse.
It's a 1966 Indred El Minion.
It's rare.
And that one, she's special.
Limited edition.
Only made six of them.
And she's the last one to
roll off the assembly line.
428 banger under the hood,
and a Zito carburetor.
Who the hell is this?
This is--
Will.
This is Will, darling.
He says he wants
to buy the hearse.
Oh, well.
He came to us.
Not like we went knocking
on his door, telling him
he had to buy the thing.
Isn't that right, Will?
Yeah.
I saw the-- the "For Sale" sign.
He saw the "For Sale" sign.
You paying cash?
Let's not get
ahead of ourselves.
I don't know.
Phil.
Well, now--
We talked about this.
You're selling that damn heap.
I'm sick and tired
of looking at it.
It's been here forever.
It's drawing rats.
Rats?
Here shows this nice
boy, practically begging.
Darling.
Don't darling me.
You're selling.
This car?
So how much?
How much what?
Cash?
Yeah.
How much you got
on you right now?
I got, like, $16.
Marge!
All right.
All right then.
Tell you what.
You come back here
tomorrow with $400.
Marge.
Shush!
$400?
Ah.
I can do that.
Well, here's the thing.
If you really want something,
you just gotta grab it, right?
If you really want this
hearse, then she and everything
that comes with her is yours.
All right.
OK.
I'll-- I'll see you tomorrow.
Well--
Well--
It's happening.
It is.
And I must say,
dear, I'm impressed.
Are you now?
I am, very much so.
You were very convincing.
You're very thoughtful.
I am.
Thank you, sweetheart.
I especially like the part
about, if you want something,
you have to grab it.
There is no way I'm
lending you money.
It took you, like, a year
to pay me back last time.
It's an investment.
You said yourself,
you're a businessman.
You did say that.
Shut up.
Tell me again about this
business plan of yours.
Shit.
I'm gonna convert
the hearse into a limo.
It's a limousine service.
Fuck me.
Dude, we'll deliver a luxury
experience for the good people
of this town.
This town is lame.
Exactly!
It might have
franchise potential.
If Little Beaver's Pizza
ever franchises, I'm in.
How much do you need?
$389.
Fuck you!
You're leaving, like, $5.
What?
I can make payments.
Pay it off in three
to six months, tops.
Will can make
payments with interest.
Interest.
Like a vig?
Exactly.
Like a vig.
I do like that.
Put the money to work.
OK.
OK, I'm in.
Nice!
$360.
$380.
And $400.
It's gonna be hard.
Sorry.
Yep.
Get over it!
The title.
Thank you.
Jenkins, like the funeral home?
Yep.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
My grandfather used to
work there, actually.
Yeah.
I mean, you don't say.
I guess the hearse has been
in town a while then, huh?
Yeah.
According to that title,
it's only been one owner.
It's been sitting
here ever since.
OK.
See that?
You're getting a lightly
used, two-owner vehicle
fresh off the lot.
OK.
The keys.
That's all she needed.
Yep.
It's been a long time.
Yep.
She's hungry.
Yep.
You know, he does
worry me a bit, though.
What?
Why?
I mean, is he good?
Not like in a righteous
sense, but maybe just not bad.
Oh, you're just
being a nervous Nellie.
Everyone's bad when it
comes right down to it.
You know that, honey.
Yeah, you're right.
Of course I am.
She'll have him doing
her bidding in no time.
Yes, she will.
Because
she always shows me
In so many different ways
degrees this evening.
- Hello, Nana.
- Oh.
Hello, dear.
Don't you get pooped?
Yeah, I've been
cleaning my new car.
Sounds like fun.
New car?
Yeah.
Well, it's new to me.
Oh, dear.
You're a hoot.
Thanks, Nana.
So?
- So what?
- Your car.
Oh.
Well, it's actually a classic.
It's an old hearse.
Good for you, dear.
I'm gonna turn it
into a limousine.
It's gonna be like
a limousine service.
It's a business.
Ooh.
That sounds like fun, dear.
Mm-hmm.
Exciting.
Yeah.
Hey, Nana.
Grandpa worked at a Jenkins
Funeral Home, right?
He sure did.
Me, too.
You worked?
Where do you think
I met your grandpap?
I didn't know that.
Of all the brothers, he
was by far the sexiest.
Grandpap just had one
brother, Uncle Dickey.
Of course, dear.
Well, anyway, they owned it.
Owned what, dear?
The hearse, Nana.
Jenkins Funeral Home.
Oh, that makes sense.
Hey, Nana.
I'm going on a date tonight.
I think we're gonna come
back over here afterwards.
Oh, that would
be splendid, dear.
It's a date night for us, too.
Greg said he's gonna
light up my world tonight,
and I believe him.
OK.
I think that's mixed.
- OK.
I'll see you later, Nana.
OK.
Too much.
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
We are going
to have so much fun.
What's wrong?
Oh, it's nothing.
This thing's different.
What's with the windshield?
I think it's legal.
So?
My father.
Stepfather.
He's a drunk.
I mean, small town.
And I know he drinks a little.
Yeah, a little.
He's always been nasty, but--
What?
It's embarrassing.
Come on.
He hit my mother.
Is she OK?
Yeah.
Yeah.
She's fine, I guess.
It's fine.
I'm fine.
Let's just-- I'm excited
to meet your grandmother.
Careful, baby.
Those cookies are
hot, just like you.
Ooh, they're here.
Wow.
Your grandmother
really likes Halloween.
Shit.
Oh, the lights.
Oh.
Hello, dear.
Oh, I'm Greg, Nana's lover.
I'm not his grandfather yet.
Would you kids
like some cookies?
No, thanks, Nana.
This is Rosemary.
Hello.
Oh.
She's just as pretty as
a ladybug, isn't she?
I'd say.
Oh, but in an inexperienced way.
Nothing like my seasoned pro.
Yeah.
Yeah, we're going upstairs.
It was nice meeting you.
We love you.
Was he--
I don't wanna talk about it.
OK.
No, stop!
Last night was--
Awesome.
I don't give a shit!
Early start today.
I'm sorry.
I appreciate it.
Thank you, Will.
I've been waiting
there for years.
Waiting for you, Will.
Will, stop!
I know what you want, Will.
What?
People can be so cruel.
Yeah.
Feeling like you're
being taken advantage of
and never being taken seriously?
It's a heavy burden
for anyone to bear.
Yeah.
It's just not right.
Is it, Will?
No.
As long
as we're together,
you'll never feel
like that again.
Your soul, boy.
She and everything that
comes with her is yours.
Dude, where have you been?
What?
I dropped Rosemary off this
morning, and then I fell asleep.
I'm fucking beat.
You dropped Rosemary
off this morning?
Whatever.
I saw them kiss.
Dude?
You know you missed
the sales meeting.
Fuck that place.
I fucking quit.
Not prudent.
Who talks like that?
I'm just saying, the
limousine business hasn't
even gotten off the ground yet.
Speaking of which, how
is my investment doing?
Don't!
What?
The fuck was that?
Walk in front door.
Hey, guys.
Hey.
Again.
Really?
Excuse me.
Not today, Hannibal.
What did you just say to me?
Do I look stupid to you?
You were saying?
He said he's getting
to work, Mr. Hannibal.
Right now.
Right?
Yeah, getting to work.
That's right.
Get ready for your shift.
Keep that
hair in a ponytail.
And make sure that
name badge is on!
Yeah.
But I was sure he's
gonna fire you.
I'll give him a
friggin' name badge.
But the way you
stood up for yourself--
Total scumbag.
I liked it.
Shit.
Better not even think about
raising his hands again.
We're just fine
before he showed up.
He's hurting her.
I know.
When you
care about someone,
you need to protect them.
Right, Will?
For sure.
You know what you
need to do, don't you?
I do.
Will?
Will?
We talked about this.
Will?
It will be fun.
Now go!
Good boy.
Please do it.
Do it.
How I
know she loves me
Because she always shows me
In so many different ways
What the hell are you
even doing here, you idiot?
Who are you talking to?
Nobody.
Sorry, I didn't see you there.
Well, I didn't see you either.
Beautiful night, I'd say.
I guess.
Funny where we find
ourselves sometimes.
What?
Just saying.
That's how it is when you're
searching for something.
Yeah, I think it's
a beautiful night.
Tell me what you see.
What?
I'm fucking blind, boy.
Tell me what you see.
Describe everything to me.
OK.
The sky is dark.
Go on.
There's a cloud, I guess.
I hear a waterfall up
ahead in the distance.
How is that?
I try to remember, but
it sounds so gigantic.
Is it gigantic?
Yeah, it's pretty big.
And the moon, boy?
Is the moon out tonight?
Yeah.
Well?
It's yellowish.
You can do better than that.
OK.
There's, like, craters,
and it's glowing.
I would do just about
anything to see again.
I don't know.
What's that, boy?
Speak up.
Something's just--
just not right.
Boy, don't let her take you.
What?
The curse.
You won't even know it's
happening till it's all over.
No, I don't know what
you're talking about.
Boy, she'll give you what you
want the most, but for a price.
All right.
Boy, you know
where to find me.
He's excited.
He's been wearing
his costume all week.
You had him on
Halloween last year.
I'm taking him
trick or treating.
You listen to me.
I will come down there,
and I will arrest that--
that new piece of shit you've
been hanging around with.
I'm taking him trick
or treating this year.
Goodbye!
Goodbye!
Good news, pal.
She said you can come trick
or treating with me this year.
Is that really what she said?
You bet.
Now I gotta go into this house
and check on this young lady.
I'll be right back.
Oh.
And don't spray the pepper
spray in the car again, please.
Thanks, Rosie.
OK.
So how long has he
been gone this time?
Since basically
late last night.
This morning.
Well, come on.
That's nothing.
No way he leaves this.
And he didn't take his wallet.
And why is his car still here?
Oh, it's Will.
Sure.
Morning.
At home.
Sheriff Ozer is here.
Did he hit her again?
No, no, no.
It's just-- I don't know.
It's like he's just vanished.
Will?
No.
I'm-- I'm sure he's-- he's fine.
Yeah, probably.
OK, I gotta go.
OK.
Fuck this.
I'm exhausted.
I'm going back to bed.
Hi, Will.
Please write me my
letter of recommendation
for Little Beaver's Pizza.
Lavash, I'm
freaking exhausted.
I need to get some sleep
before I go to work.
Look what Papa
has for us tonight.
Crazy.
That's crazy.
I know what I saw.
Dude, you're tripping.
Oh, no.
Yo, what?
Come on, keep up.
Lavash.
Lavash!
Get all the best costumes at
Little Beaver Halloween City.
Mr. Hannibal!
Mr. Hannibal!
I finished the talking display.
Can you check it so I can leave?
Mr. Hannibal!
Everything is on sale at
Little Beaver Halloween City.
Mr. Hannibal?
Little Beaver Halloween City
is the scariest place to be.
Scary good deals every day at
Little Beaver Halloween City.
Buy one costume, get 125% off.
This isn't funny.
Ha ha ha ha ha.
We laugh at the competition.
Who is that?
Wouldn't
you like to know?
This is--
What?
So?
You don't keep any
cash in the store!
I'm co--
Ah!
Ha ha ha.
Don't be afraid to spend
all your money at Little
Beaver Halloween City.
Oh.
That wasn't funny.
Things are pretty cool.
Probably gonna sell
a lot of these.
What were you saying?
That wasn't funny.
I beg to differ.
It was pretty funny.
I need to leave.
Sure.
Where's your boyfriend?
Where's your boyfriend?
He's about a minute
late already.
He'll be here.
Oh, and one more thing.
What?
Your request for
taking Halloween day off.
Declined!
But I told you when
I first got this job.
This is Little
Beaver Halloween City.
It's our busiest
day of the year.
Kind of stupid.
But I work at the rec center
for the kids on Halloween day.
I told you months ago.
That's--
Hey, where do you
think you're going?
Don't you walk away from me.
What's up?
I need to get home to my mom.
She's a wreck.
Four minutes left.
What'd you say to her?
What did you say to Rosemary?
Oh, please.
What did you say to
Rosemary to make her upset,
you friggin' creep?
Your whore
girlfriend is trouble.
Trouble?
Yeah.
Absolutely no refunds at
Little Beaver Halloween City.
Better not be messing
up another display.
Act now.
Halloween is just
around the corner.
Buy.
Buy.
Hey, we don't
carry that costume.
It's pretty cool,
but shit, Will.
You know I offer
employee discounts.
Least you could do is show
some patronage to the store.
Blood?
What?
Here you go, fucker.
Here's some blood.
Oops.
Didn't mean to mess
up your new costume.
You'll pay.
Yeah.
You know what?
Speaking of paying,
guess who had
to pay for your raffle
ticket 'cause somebody
didn't wanna show
up to the Little
Beaver Halloween City Little
League Spaghetti Fundraiser!
Did they?
No, you couldn't be
bothered, could you?
Guess you're just too busy
to show some support, huh?
So what do you think the
Little Beavers think of you?
I think the Little Beaver
think very highly of me,
especially you!
Little Beaver Halloween City
is where all the action is.
Come on, Ro.
Come on.
Pick up.
Ro.
Ro.
When you get this, please come
down to Little Beaver Medical,
OK?
Lavash is really messed up.
And I-- I don't know.
I don't know.
I think Will is--
there's something
seriously wrong with him.
Hank, son, can
you put your papa on, please?
OK.
Over.
This is Ozer.
Sheriff,
please stop over
by the Halloween City store.
Roger.
What's up?
It
may be best just
to get here as soon as you can.
Copy that.
You'll never know what
you'll find at Little
Beaver Halloween City.
Shit.
Cool.
Oh, shoot.
Would you?
Yeah.
OK, kiddo, let's go outside.
This is sick.
Everything cut clear off.
Good riddance.
If you buy your
costume anywhere else--
Let's do a sweep.
Little Beaver Halloween City.
Fun, fun, fun.
Nothing.
Me neither.
He's sitting in the squad car.
He's fine.
What's this town coming to?
So where's the head?
Or the hands?
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Dear?
Yeah, Nana?
Greg has a bit on his mind.
He wants to apologize.
- No way.
- Oh, you.
Go on.
Willoughby.
Will?
Greg?
I'm-- I'm--
I'm-- I'm very, very sorry for
being inconsiderate and not
acknowledging your feelings and
for my recent inappropriateness.
Greg, you're
always inappropriate.
It just seemed like I
startled you and upset you.
Look what Papa has
for us tonight.
Yeah.
I don't know what you're
talking about, Greg.
We're good.
We are?
Hell, yeah.
Oh, that was nice, dear.
Oh, I'm so relieved.
And I just want you to know that
my relationship with your nana
isn't solely driven by my
unrelenting desire for her touch
and unabashed lust.
OK.
Have fun, dear.
Oh.
Thank you, Willoughby.
We will.
Ugh.
What the fuck is that smell?
Will, we need to talk.
Huh?
I can tell you're upset.
I'm not.
Yes, Will.
You are.
OK.
And that's OK, Will.
But I do want you to know
that it does get easier.
What?
Taking.
Taking?
Taking whatever
you want, Will.
You can have whatever
you want now.
You take care of me,
and I take care of you.
OK.
Open!
There must be a
logical explanation.
Ro, have you ever
known me to exaggerate?
He-- he doubted me the
other day, like big time.
It was for no reason at all.
He put his head down
and turned away.
It was fucking weird, Ro.
He's probably just--
I think he's dangerous.
Dangerous?
I'm telling you,
there is something
seriously wrong with Will.
Will.
Wake up.
Will!
Again?
Fuck.
You take good
care of me, Will.
He doesn't have a
mean bone in his body.
I was so hungry.
He could never hurt anyone.
Will is a good person.
Self-doubt is
a terrible thing, Will.
This can't be.
It is.
Oh.
Yes, Will.
Yes, Will.
Yes, Will.
It hurts me to see
you like this, Will.
This is your fucking fault!
We killed the ones
who hurt the one you love.
I did it for you, Will.
I didn't ask you to.
We did it
together, Will.
Sid!
Lavash!
The fuck?
Dude, you just swore.
I'm so proud of you right now.
- Where's Will?
Last time I talked to
him, he was at nana's.
Fucking call him.
I just wanna call him right now.
All right, Lavash.
All right.
That's fucking epic.
Rosemary!
Where are you?
I'm going to see old man Pat.
Why?
Something's going on.
And I know he's the only one
who knows what the hell it is.
Will, you're scaring me.
I think I fucked up.
We'll meet you there.
Who?
Who are you with?
Me and the guys
from the hospital.
At the hospital?
Why?
Lavash, but he's all right.
Rosemary, do not--
We need to go now.
Is Will OK?
I don't think so.
I'm hooked up to all this.
She's getting
angry now, isn't she?
Tell me what the
hell is going on.
Willoughby.
How do you know my name?
I'm your uncle.
Of course I know your name.
But my uncle--
what?
It's your uncle, of course.
The one thing is, you're
never supposed to know that.
Too late now.
What the fuck are
you talking about?
Your grandpappy and
my younger brother,
Dickey, they're no damn good.
Pure evil.
Dickey and my grandfather
are your brothers?
Yep.
Well, why the fuck
would I not know that?
Well, it was forbidden.
I was too good, they said.
They said I would be
a bad influence on you
when it came time
for you to take over.
Take over?
Take over what?
You're at the helm now.
You're it!
Oh, fuck this!
This is about the
fucking hearse, isn't it?
Yes, son.
It's all about that hearse,
the hearse and pure evil.
Are you understanding
what I'm saying?
Willoughby?
Son?
Answer me!
You evil, evil bloodsuckers!
All I'm saying is, don't
play with dead things.
And whatever you do,
don't tell your mother.
Whoa.
You know the drill.
I'll be right back.
Rosie?
What the hell are you
driving like that for?
That's irresponsible and
reckless, young lady.
Sheriff Ozer,
Will is in trouble.
What kind of trouble?
I don't know exactly.
He went to go talk
to old man Pat.
Old man Pat?
Will said that he was the only
one who knew what was going on.
Well, what is going on?
I don't know.
Please.
OK.
Let's just all go
in the squad car.
We'll go and we'll see
what the problem is, OK?
Hey, you, Pat.
How you doing?
They took him.
Who took who?
They took Will!
Who took Will?
Dickey.
Dickey from the auto shop?
Dickey?
And Phil.
I smelled the pipe
smoke on his clothes.
Probably Marge, too.
And why would Dickey,
Phil, and Marge take Will?
They're all evil.
There's evil as the day is long.
And now, she wants Will.
Who wants Will?
The hearse.
The hearse.
That's right.
The hearse wants Will.
Pat, have you been
drinking tonight?
My own brothers poured
acid directly into my eyes.
Took away my sight.
It was my punishment for not
joining in on their evil.
And now, she wants Will.
And they'll make sure she
gets everything she wants.
You can bet on that!
Uncle Dickey, the
fuck is going on?
What the fuck is going on?
What the fuck is going on?
Old Zachariah
Jenkins started it all.
Funeral home was
the perfect cover.
No one was the wiser.
He fed her the
blood of the dead.
But she insisted on more
and more fresh blood.
All those missing persons.
There's your answer.
You're saying that this--
whatever this is has something
to do with all these missing
person cold cases?
Zachariah Jenkins
started it all.
But do you know which
one of his lackeys
was the worst, the
most evil of them all?
Nana?
Oh.
Hello, dear.
Nana, what's happening?
What is this?
Oh, dear.
You're so sweet.
But it's OK.
None of us are perfect.
What the fuck is this?
Oh, you know, dear.
No, I don't.
You don't, huh?
Remember, you came to us.
That's right.
No one forced you to buy her.
What?
The-- the hearse?
What?
The hearse?
She has a name, Hershey.
I named her Hershey when I
was about your age, dear.
And now, your initiation to show
her how much you appreciate her.
How exciting.
I think I killed people.
Well, of course, dear.
And a fine job you did.
I think I drank blood.
I think I drank blood.
Silly.
How do you think we feed her?
OK, here's the deal.
We're gonna go in here.
Let's see if Will is here.
And if he is, we'll get to
the bottom of all of this.
OK.
OK, buddy.
I want you to listen to me, OK?
Stay in the car.
We'll be right back.
It's locked.
Check the side.
Lavash, I found a window.
It's cracked open.
You gotta crawl through it.
What if I can't fit?
Dude, I'm so writing that
letter of recommendation.
You must obey her, dear.
Will?
Will, tell me it's not true.
Please, bro.
I'm really sorry, dude.
But we kinda have bigger
problems now, don't you think?
Ah!
Hey!
Untie me!
You're all fucking crazy!
Let's just--
Don't even try.
Rosemary, untie me!
I know what I need to do.
Dad?
I need to get to
the fucking hearse.
Go to her, dear.
She's waiting for you.
What are
you doing, Will?
What I have to.
But we're
so happy together.
Fuck you!
I'll see you at the bottom
of the fucking river, bitch!
I wish I could have seen that.
It's you, Will.
What a good treat.
How I
know she loves me
Because she always shows me
In so many different ways
I've been
waiting for you.
Waiting for you.
I know what you want, Pat.
I can-- I can see.
I can see!
I can see!
We are going
to have so much fun.
That's how
I know she loves me
Because she always shows me
In so many different ways
Let's go
This hearse is cursed
I ride shotgun
And now we got a flat tire
I'm going crazy
I will stamp it on my passport
Got a crucifix
I keep it in my dashboard
That's how I know she loves me
Because she always shows me
In so many different ways
Let's go
That's how I know she loves me
Because she always shows me
In so many different ways
That's how I know she loves me
Because she always shows me
In so many different ways
I know she loves me
Because she always shows me
In so many different and ways
Fuck!
Third time this
month, isn't it?
Yeah.
Job security.
I love it!
Yeah, well, you
are an asshole.
True story.
Look, where am I taking this?
Back to your uncle's shop?
Fuck.
No.
Yeah, take it there.
You drop me off at my
fucking stupid job first.
Again?
It's a fucking piece of shit.
Yeah?
But it does get me
out of the station.
I mean, other than the stacks of
cold cases I stare at every day.
There's not much
going on in this town,
so it gives me something to do.
Oh.
I'm, like, so glad
that I can help.
You have?
OK.
Have a nice day.
Hey, Nana.
You're
so good at this.
I know.
It's one of my many talents.
Ah!
Oh, Willoughby.
Greg?
I think you fixed it.
Oh.
Well, that's good,
because I don't
wanna be late for my
tanning appointment
at Little Beaver salon.
Bye, sexy.
Don't miss me too much.
Nana, does he live here now?
Oh, you.
And what about
your teeth, Nana?
He can't even remind
you to put them in?
I just-- why do you
need a sugar baby, Nana?
Well, who's gonna take
care of me when I get old?
Me.
Oh, dear.
I don't wanna be a burden.
That's stupid.
Well, good night, Nana.
Good night, dear.
What?
I wanted to talk to you.
What the fuck?
Listen.
I know it must be weird,
someone your age coming in here
and dating your nana.
Dude, how old are you?
It's getting pretty serious.
But I want you to know.
I understand, I can never
replace your real grandfather.
But I hope we can be close.
I'm so glad we had this talk.
It's so open and healthy
and communicative.
And that's what I admire
about you most, Willoughby.
Dude.
Will, Bill, William,
if you must.
But you are, like, the
only fucking person
that calls me Willoughby.
It's because we're family.
Almost.
Morning, sunshine.
Oh.
Morning, Nana.
Oh.
Good morning, dear.
You are just full of
surprises, aren't you?
Ooh, sexy.
Whew.
It's almost time.
Dear?
Silly Halloween.
Oh.
Yeah, your favorite.
So much fun.
So much fun.
Mm-hmm.
I gotta go to Uncle Dickey's
and check on my car.
OK, dear.
My brother, your granddaddy,
now he know how to fix a car.
I'll give him that, at least.
Did you see my car out there?
Yep.
OK.
So--
Do you even have money
to fix it this time?
Not-- not really.
I'm saving up for a new car.
I told you that.
Yeah.
Really.
So what?
This piece of shit
is my problem now?
OK.
Well, I'm just gonna
walk to work now.
OK.
Big job.
Big phone rip.
Big phone rip.
Whoa.
This is a great product
at an affordable price.
Well, how would you like to
hear that we have the solution--
I'm sure you'll agree.
For all your problems.
We are currently offering
a buy one, get one--
Product solves all--
Hello?
Hello?
I can offer you this.
I'm so done with this place.
Will, you sound good, man.
It's ridiculous.
Best to keep everything
in perspective.
All right, clowns.
Hey, hey!
Shift's over.
We got three sales today.
You all suck.
Oh, Will.
You especially suck.
Fuck!
This is so fucked.
I'm walking from
my first shitty job
to my second shitty fucking job.
Gotta make a living, dude.
When I developed asthma,
my life drastically changed.
My income came to
a screeching halt.
Yeah?
Yeah.
First, you make the money, then
you put it to work for you.
Like a businessman.
Like me.
I'm a businessman.
I always push.
Dude.
Just sitting there.
Yeah, that's his jam.
I remember him from,
like, the fifth grade.
Old man Pat.
Blind as a bat.
All I want is to be promoted
at Little Beaver's Pizza.
Man, Little Beaver's
Pizza sucks my ass.
San Remo's pizza,
that's where it's at.
Right, Will?
Will?
What?
Yeah.
Where are all
the scary costumes?
Do you know what I like to do
after a long, hard workday here?
No.
Well, I'll tell you.
I like to go home and relax.
Take a hot bath with my wife.
Do you know why?
Why?
Cause the hot
water makes her skin
feel like she's still alive.
What is this?
Uh.
This shit.
This is the samurai costume
display you asked me to set up.
Imagine, if you
can, that you're
a proud and powerful samurai.
Can you do that for me?
I don't think so.
Try.
OK.
Great.
Now, would a samurai call
this a samurai display?
Know the fucking products!
It shows them some respect!
Can I take my break?
Two minutes.
What about you, sugarplum?
You being productive, at least?
Yeah.
My section is in lockdown.
Oof.
You're good.
That's not the only
reason you're my favorite.
You're late.
It's like--
Welcome to Little
Beaver Halloween City.
Oh.
Hey, Rosemary.
Thought you left.
You're
such an asshole.
Yeah.
You think?
Hey, we are doing a haunted
house for the kids at the rec.
You should come
and check it out.
You know, I'm actually
buying an old hearse.
And it could be, like, a
really cool prop for the thing
that you're doing at the--
the rec center.
Really?
Yeah, I'm definitely
gonna get it.
My car is, like, totally
out of commission.
So--
So you're buying a hearse?
Yeah.
That's-- that's cool.
I'm starting a
limousine company.
Cool.
You're the first
person I told.
Thank you for sharing.
Yeah.
And it's practical,
too, since I need a car.
You need a ride?
I do need a ride.
Maybe next time, you can
drive me home in your hearse.
Yeah, with my hearse.
Yeah, I can--
I can totally do that.
So we've been friends
for, like, since my mom
and me moved here.
It's been a really long time.
Yeah.
I think we should go on a date.
Really?
Yeah.
OK.
Is it--
Yeah, it's Lavash.
He scared me.
Yeah.
He looks like a
Halloween scarecrow.
Hi, Lavash.
Hi, Rosemary.
Where's Sid?
He's in the woods,
taking a piss.
All right.
I'll see you tomorrow.
You're so naughty.
Naughty but nice.
Sid, he's here.
Let's party!
It's Tuesday.
And you said you would write
me the letter of recommendation
for my promotion.
And I brought us some pizza.
It's from Little Beavers.
Yeah.
No shit.
Oh, you.
All right.
All right.
What's the plan?
I got something I gotta do.
What the fuck, man?
Yeah.
What the heck?
- Dude, yeah.
What the heck?
Dude, just swear.
You sound like an asshole.
Yo, Will.
Can we still hang in the garage?
We can hang in the garage, man.
Sid, will you write a
letter of recommendation?
Hell, no.
Hey.
Is that hearse for sale?
You interested in
that ride, are you?
She run?
Oh, she runs all right.
Well, what's the price?
Your soul, boy.
Do you even know
what that car is?
Yeah.
It's a-- like an old hearse.
It's a 1966 Indred El Minion.
It's rare.
And that one, she's special.
Limited edition.
Only made six of them.
And she's the last one to
roll off the assembly line.
428 banger under the hood,
and a Zito carburetor.
Who the hell is this?
This is--
Will.
This is Will, darling.
He says he wants
to buy the hearse.
Oh, well.
He came to us.
Not like we went knocking
on his door, telling him
he had to buy the thing.
Isn't that right, Will?
Yeah.
I saw the-- the "For Sale" sign.
He saw the "For Sale" sign.
You paying cash?
Let's not get
ahead of ourselves.
I don't know.
Phil.
Well, now--
We talked about this.
You're selling that damn heap.
I'm sick and tired
of looking at it.
It's been here forever.
It's drawing rats.
Rats?
Here shows this nice
boy, practically begging.
Darling.
Don't darling me.
You're selling.
This car?
So how much?
How much what?
Cash?
Yeah.
How much you got
on you right now?
I got, like, $16.
Marge!
All right.
All right then.
Tell you what.
You come back here
tomorrow with $400.
Marge.
Shush!
$400?
Ah.
I can do that.
Well, here's the thing.
If you really want something,
you just gotta grab it, right?
If you really want this
hearse, then she and everything
that comes with her is yours.
All right.
OK.
I'll-- I'll see you tomorrow.
Well--
Well--
It's happening.
It is.
And I must say,
dear, I'm impressed.
Are you now?
I am, very much so.
You were very convincing.
You're very thoughtful.
I am.
Thank you, sweetheart.
I especially like the part
about, if you want something,
you have to grab it.
There is no way I'm
lending you money.
It took you, like, a year
to pay me back last time.
It's an investment.
You said yourself,
you're a businessman.
You did say that.
Shut up.
Tell me again about this
business plan of yours.
Shit.
I'm gonna convert
the hearse into a limo.
It's a limousine service.
Fuck me.
Dude, we'll deliver a luxury
experience for the good people
of this town.
This town is lame.
Exactly!
It might have
franchise potential.
If Little Beaver's Pizza
ever franchises, I'm in.
How much do you need?
$389.
Fuck you!
You're leaving, like, $5.
What?
I can make payments.
Pay it off in three
to six months, tops.
Will can make
payments with interest.
Interest.
Like a vig?
Exactly.
Like a vig.
I do like that.
Put the money to work.
OK.
OK, I'm in.
Nice!
$360.
$380.
And $400.
It's gonna be hard.
Sorry.
Yep.
Get over it!
The title.
Thank you.
Jenkins, like the funeral home?
Yep.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
My grandfather used to
work there, actually.
Yeah.
I mean, you don't say.
I guess the hearse has been
in town a while then, huh?
Yeah.
According to that title,
it's only been one owner.
It's been sitting
here ever since.
OK.
See that?
You're getting a lightly
used, two-owner vehicle
fresh off the lot.
OK.
The keys.
That's all she needed.
Yep.
It's been a long time.
Yep.
She's hungry.
Yep.
You know, he does
worry me a bit, though.
What?
Why?
I mean, is he good?
Not like in a righteous
sense, but maybe just not bad.
Oh, you're just
being a nervous Nellie.
Everyone's bad when it
comes right down to it.
You know that, honey.
Yeah, you're right.
Of course I am.
She'll have him doing
her bidding in no time.
Yes, she will.
Because
she always shows me
In so many different ways
degrees this evening.
- Hello, Nana.
- Oh.
Hello, dear.
Don't you get pooped?
Yeah, I've been
cleaning my new car.
Sounds like fun.
New car?
Yeah.
Well, it's new to me.
Oh, dear.
You're a hoot.
Thanks, Nana.
So?
- So what?
- Your car.
Oh.
Well, it's actually a classic.
It's an old hearse.
Good for you, dear.
I'm gonna turn it
into a limousine.
It's gonna be like
a limousine service.
It's a business.
Ooh.
That sounds like fun, dear.
Mm-hmm.
Exciting.
Yeah.
Hey, Nana.
Grandpa worked at a Jenkins
Funeral Home, right?
He sure did.
Me, too.
You worked?
Where do you think
I met your grandpap?
I didn't know that.
Of all the brothers, he
was by far the sexiest.
Grandpap just had one
brother, Uncle Dickey.
Of course, dear.
Well, anyway, they owned it.
Owned what, dear?
The hearse, Nana.
Jenkins Funeral Home.
Oh, that makes sense.
Hey, Nana.
I'm going on a date tonight.
I think we're gonna come
back over here afterwards.
Oh, that would
be splendid, dear.
It's a date night for us, too.
Greg said he's gonna
light up my world tonight,
and I believe him.
OK.
I think that's mixed.
- OK.
I'll see you later, Nana.
OK.
Too much.
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
We are going
to have so much fun.
What's wrong?
Oh, it's nothing.
This thing's different.
What's with the windshield?
I think it's legal.
So?
My father.
Stepfather.
He's a drunk.
I mean, small town.
And I know he drinks a little.
Yeah, a little.
He's always been nasty, but--
What?
It's embarrassing.
Come on.
He hit my mother.
Is she OK?
Yeah.
Yeah.
She's fine, I guess.
It's fine.
I'm fine.
Let's just-- I'm excited
to meet your grandmother.
Careful, baby.
Those cookies are
hot, just like you.
Ooh, they're here.
Wow.
Your grandmother
really likes Halloween.
Shit.
Oh, the lights.
Oh.
Hello, dear.
Oh, I'm Greg, Nana's lover.
I'm not his grandfather yet.
Would you kids
like some cookies?
No, thanks, Nana.
This is Rosemary.
Hello.
Oh.
She's just as pretty as
a ladybug, isn't she?
I'd say.
Oh, but in an inexperienced way.
Nothing like my seasoned pro.
Yeah.
Yeah, we're going upstairs.
It was nice meeting you.
We love you.
Was he--
I don't wanna talk about it.
OK.
No, stop!
Last night was--
Awesome.
I don't give a shit!
Early start today.
I'm sorry.
I appreciate it.
Thank you, Will.
I've been waiting
there for years.
Waiting for you, Will.
Will, stop!
I know what you want, Will.
What?
People can be so cruel.
Yeah.
Feeling like you're
being taken advantage of
and never being taken seriously?
It's a heavy burden
for anyone to bear.
Yeah.
It's just not right.
Is it, Will?
No.
As long
as we're together,
you'll never feel
like that again.
Your soul, boy.
She and everything that
comes with her is yours.
Dude, where have you been?
What?
I dropped Rosemary off this
morning, and then I fell asleep.
I'm fucking beat.
You dropped Rosemary
off this morning?
Whatever.
I saw them kiss.
Dude?
You know you missed
the sales meeting.
Fuck that place.
I fucking quit.
Not prudent.
Who talks like that?
I'm just saying, the
limousine business hasn't
even gotten off the ground yet.
Speaking of which, how
is my investment doing?
Don't!
What?
The fuck was that?
Walk in front door.
Hey, guys.
Hey.
Again.
Really?
Excuse me.
Not today, Hannibal.
What did you just say to me?
Do I look stupid to you?
You were saying?
He said he's getting
to work, Mr. Hannibal.
Right now.
Right?
Yeah, getting to work.
That's right.
Get ready for your shift.
Keep that
hair in a ponytail.
And make sure that
name badge is on!
Yeah.
But I was sure he's
gonna fire you.
I'll give him a
friggin' name badge.
But the way you
stood up for yourself--
Total scumbag.
I liked it.
Shit.
Better not even think about
raising his hands again.
We're just fine
before he showed up.
He's hurting her.
I know.
When you
care about someone,
you need to protect them.
Right, Will?
For sure.
You know what you
need to do, don't you?
I do.
Will?
Will?
We talked about this.
Will?
It will be fun.
Now go!
Good boy.
Please do it.
Do it.
How I
know she loves me
Because she always shows me
In so many different ways
What the hell are you
even doing here, you idiot?
Who are you talking to?
Nobody.
Sorry, I didn't see you there.
Well, I didn't see you either.
Beautiful night, I'd say.
I guess.
Funny where we find
ourselves sometimes.
What?
Just saying.
That's how it is when you're
searching for something.
Yeah, I think it's
a beautiful night.
Tell me what you see.
What?
I'm fucking blind, boy.
Tell me what you see.
Describe everything to me.
OK.
The sky is dark.
Go on.
There's a cloud, I guess.
I hear a waterfall up
ahead in the distance.
How is that?
I try to remember, but
it sounds so gigantic.
Is it gigantic?
Yeah, it's pretty big.
And the moon, boy?
Is the moon out tonight?
Yeah.
Well?
It's yellowish.
You can do better than that.
OK.
There's, like, craters,
and it's glowing.
I would do just about
anything to see again.
I don't know.
What's that, boy?
Speak up.
Something's just--
just not right.
Boy, don't let her take you.
What?
The curse.
You won't even know it's
happening till it's all over.
No, I don't know what
you're talking about.
Boy, she'll give you what you
want the most, but for a price.
All right.
Boy, you know
where to find me.
He's excited.
He's been wearing
his costume all week.
You had him on
Halloween last year.
I'm taking him
trick or treating.
You listen to me.
I will come down there,
and I will arrest that--
that new piece of shit you've
been hanging around with.
I'm taking him trick
or treating this year.
Goodbye!
Goodbye!
Good news, pal.
She said you can come trick
or treating with me this year.
Is that really what she said?
You bet.
Now I gotta go into this house
and check on this young lady.
I'll be right back.
Oh.
And don't spray the pepper
spray in the car again, please.
Thanks, Rosie.
OK.
So how long has he
been gone this time?
Since basically
late last night.
This morning.
Well, come on.
That's nothing.
No way he leaves this.
And he didn't take his wallet.
And why is his car still here?
Oh, it's Will.
Sure.
Morning.
At home.
Sheriff Ozer is here.
Did he hit her again?
No, no, no.
It's just-- I don't know.
It's like he's just vanished.
Will?
No.
I'm-- I'm sure he's-- he's fine.
Yeah, probably.
OK, I gotta go.
OK.
Fuck this.
I'm exhausted.
I'm going back to bed.
Hi, Will.
Please write me my
letter of recommendation
for Little Beaver's Pizza.
Lavash, I'm
freaking exhausted.
I need to get some sleep
before I go to work.
Look what Papa
has for us tonight.
Crazy.
That's crazy.
I know what I saw.
Dude, you're tripping.
Oh, no.
Yo, what?
Come on, keep up.
Lavash.
Lavash!
Get all the best costumes at
Little Beaver Halloween City.
Mr. Hannibal!
Mr. Hannibal!
I finished the talking display.
Can you check it so I can leave?
Mr. Hannibal!
Everything is on sale at
Little Beaver Halloween City.
Mr. Hannibal?
Little Beaver Halloween City
is the scariest place to be.
Scary good deals every day at
Little Beaver Halloween City.
Buy one costume, get 125% off.
This isn't funny.
Ha ha ha ha ha.
We laugh at the competition.
Who is that?
Wouldn't
you like to know?
This is--
What?
So?
You don't keep any
cash in the store!
I'm co--
Ah!
Ha ha ha.
Don't be afraid to spend
all your money at Little
Beaver Halloween City.
Oh.
That wasn't funny.
Things are pretty cool.
Probably gonna sell
a lot of these.
What were you saying?
That wasn't funny.
I beg to differ.
It was pretty funny.
I need to leave.
Sure.
Where's your boyfriend?
Where's your boyfriend?
He's about a minute
late already.
He'll be here.
Oh, and one more thing.
What?
Your request for
taking Halloween day off.
Declined!
But I told you when
I first got this job.
This is Little
Beaver Halloween City.
It's our busiest
day of the year.
Kind of stupid.
But I work at the rec center
for the kids on Halloween day.
I told you months ago.
That's--
Hey, where do you
think you're going?
Don't you walk away from me.
What's up?
I need to get home to my mom.
She's a wreck.
Four minutes left.
What'd you say to her?
What did you say to Rosemary?
Oh, please.
What did you say to
Rosemary to make her upset,
you friggin' creep?
Your whore
girlfriend is trouble.
Trouble?
Yeah.
Absolutely no refunds at
Little Beaver Halloween City.
Better not be messing
up another display.
Act now.
Halloween is just
around the corner.
Buy.
Buy.
Hey, we don't
carry that costume.
It's pretty cool,
but shit, Will.
You know I offer
employee discounts.
Least you could do is show
some patronage to the store.
Blood?
What?
Here you go, fucker.
Here's some blood.
Oops.
Didn't mean to mess
up your new costume.
You'll pay.
Yeah.
You know what?
Speaking of paying,
guess who had
to pay for your raffle
ticket 'cause somebody
didn't wanna show
up to the Little
Beaver Halloween City Little
League Spaghetti Fundraiser!
Did they?
No, you couldn't be
bothered, could you?
Guess you're just too busy
to show some support, huh?
So what do you think the
Little Beavers think of you?
I think the Little Beaver
think very highly of me,
especially you!
Little Beaver Halloween City
is where all the action is.
Come on, Ro.
Come on.
Pick up.
Ro.
Ro.
When you get this, please come
down to Little Beaver Medical,
OK?
Lavash is really messed up.
And I-- I don't know.
I don't know.
I think Will is--
there's something
seriously wrong with him.
Hank, son, can
you put your papa on, please?
OK.
Over.
This is Ozer.
Sheriff,
please stop over
by the Halloween City store.
Roger.
What's up?
It
may be best just
to get here as soon as you can.
Copy that.
You'll never know what
you'll find at Little
Beaver Halloween City.
Shit.
Cool.
Oh, shoot.
Would you?
Yeah.
OK, kiddo, let's go outside.
This is sick.
Everything cut clear off.
Good riddance.
If you buy your
costume anywhere else--
Let's do a sweep.
Little Beaver Halloween City.
Fun, fun, fun.
Nothing.
Me neither.
He's sitting in the squad car.
He's fine.
What's this town coming to?
So where's the head?
Or the hands?
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Dear?
Yeah, Nana?
Greg has a bit on his mind.
He wants to apologize.
- No way.
- Oh, you.
Go on.
Willoughby.
Will?
Greg?
I'm-- I'm--
I'm-- I'm very, very sorry for
being inconsiderate and not
acknowledging your feelings and
for my recent inappropriateness.
Greg, you're
always inappropriate.
It just seemed like I
startled you and upset you.
Look what Papa has
for us tonight.
Yeah.
I don't know what you're
talking about, Greg.
We're good.
We are?
Hell, yeah.
Oh, that was nice, dear.
Oh, I'm so relieved.
And I just want you to know that
my relationship with your nana
isn't solely driven by my
unrelenting desire for her touch
and unabashed lust.
OK.
Have fun, dear.
Oh.
Thank you, Willoughby.
We will.
Ugh.
What the fuck is that smell?
Will, we need to talk.
Huh?
I can tell you're upset.
I'm not.
Yes, Will.
You are.
OK.
And that's OK, Will.
But I do want you to know
that it does get easier.
What?
Taking.
Taking?
Taking whatever
you want, Will.
You can have whatever
you want now.
You take care of me,
and I take care of you.
OK.
Open!
There must be a
logical explanation.
Ro, have you ever
known me to exaggerate?
He-- he doubted me the
other day, like big time.
It was for no reason at all.
He put his head down
and turned away.
It was fucking weird, Ro.
He's probably just--
I think he's dangerous.
Dangerous?
I'm telling you,
there is something
seriously wrong with Will.
Will.
Wake up.
Will!
Again?
Fuck.
You take good
care of me, Will.
He doesn't have a
mean bone in his body.
I was so hungry.
He could never hurt anyone.
Will is a good person.
Self-doubt is
a terrible thing, Will.
This can't be.
It is.
Oh.
Yes, Will.
Yes, Will.
Yes, Will.
It hurts me to see
you like this, Will.
This is your fucking fault!
We killed the ones
who hurt the one you love.
I did it for you, Will.
I didn't ask you to.
We did it
together, Will.
Sid!
Lavash!
The fuck?
Dude, you just swore.
I'm so proud of you right now.
- Where's Will?
Last time I talked to
him, he was at nana's.
Fucking call him.
I just wanna call him right now.
All right, Lavash.
All right.
That's fucking epic.
Rosemary!
Where are you?
I'm going to see old man Pat.
Why?
Something's going on.
And I know he's the only one
who knows what the hell it is.
Will, you're scaring me.
I think I fucked up.
We'll meet you there.
Who?
Who are you with?
Me and the guys
from the hospital.
At the hospital?
Why?
Lavash, but he's all right.
Rosemary, do not--
We need to go now.
Is Will OK?
I don't think so.
I'm hooked up to all this.
She's getting
angry now, isn't she?
Tell me what the
hell is going on.
Willoughby.
How do you know my name?
I'm your uncle.
Of course I know your name.
But my uncle--
what?
It's your uncle, of course.
The one thing is, you're
never supposed to know that.
Too late now.
What the fuck are
you talking about?
Your grandpappy and
my younger brother,
Dickey, they're no damn good.
Pure evil.
Dickey and my grandfather
are your brothers?
Yep.
Well, why the fuck
would I not know that?
Well, it was forbidden.
I was too good, they said.
They said I would be
a bad influence on you
when it came time
for you to take over.
Take over?
Take over what?
You're at the helm now.
You're it!
Oh, fuck this!
This is about the
fucking hearse, isn't it?
Yes, son.
It's all about that hearse,
the hearse and pure evil.
Are you understanding
what I'm saying?
Willoughby?
Son?
Answer me!
You evil, evil bloodsuckers!
All I'm saying is, don't
play with dead things.
And whatever you do,
don't tell your mother.
Whoa.
You know the drill.
I'll be right back.
Rosie?
What the hell are you
driving like that for?
That's irresponsible and
reckless, young lady.
Sheriff Ozer,
Will is in trouble.
What kind of trouble?
I don't know exactly.
He went to go talk
to old man Pat.
Old man Pat?
Will said that he was the only
one who knew what was going on.
Well, what is going on?
I don't know.
Please.
OK.
Let's just all go
in the squad car.
We'll go and we'll see
what the problem is, OK?
Hey, you, Pat.
How you doing?
They took him.
Who took who?
They took Will!
Who took Will?
Dickey.
Dickey from the auto shop?
Dickey?
And Phil.
I smelled the pipe
smoke on his clothes.
Probably Marge, too.
And why would Dickey,
Phil, and Marge take Will?
They're all evil.
There's evil as the day is long.
And now, she wants Will.
Who wants Will?
The hearse.
The hearse.
That's right.
The hearse wants Will.
Pat, have you been
drinking tonight?
My own brothers poured
acid directly into my eyes.
Took away my sight.
It was my punishment for not
joining in on their evil.
And now, she wants Will.
And they'll make sure she
gets everything she wants.
You can bet on that!
Uncle Dickey, the
fuck is going on?
What the fuck is going on?
What the fuck is going on?
Old Zachariah
Jenkins started it all.
Funeral home was
the perfect cover.
No one was the wiser.
He fed her the
blood of the dead.
But she insisted on more
and more fresh blood.
All those missing persons.
There's your answer.
You're saying that this--
whatever this is has something
to do with all these missing
person cold cases?
Zachariah Jenkins
started it all.
But do you know which
one of his lackeys
was the worst, the
most evil of them all?
Nana?
Oh.
Hello, dear.
Nana, what's happening?
What is this?
Oh, dear.
You're so sweet.
But it's OK.
None of us are perfect.
What the fuck is this?
Oh, you know, dear.
No, I don't.
You don't, huh?
Remember, you came to us.
That's right.
No one forced you to buy her.
What?
The-- the hearse?
What?
The hearse?
She has a name, Hershey.
I named her Hershey when I
was about your age, dear.
And now, your initiation to show
her how much you appreciate her.
How exciting.
I think I killed people.
Well, of course, dear.
And a fine job you did.
I think I drank blood.
I think I drank blood.
Silly.
How do you think we feed her?
OK, here's the deal.
We're gonna go in here.
Let's see if Will is here.
And if he is, we'll get to
the bottom of all of this.
OK.
OK, buddy.
I want you to listen to me, OK?
Stay in the car.
We'll be right back.
It's locked.
Check the side.
Lavash, I found a window.
It's cracked open.
You gotta crawl through it.
What if I can't fit?
Dude, I'm so writing that
letter of recommendation.
You must obey her, dear.
Will?
Will, tell me it's not true.
Please, bro.
I'm really sorry, dude.
But we kinda have bigger
problems now, don't you think?
Ah!
Hey!
Untie me!
You're all fucking crazy!
Let's just--
Don't even try.
Rosemary, untie me!
I know what I need to do.
Dad?
I need to get to
the fucking hearse.
Go to her, dear.
She's waiting for you.
What are
you doing, Will?
What I have to.
But we're
so happy together.
Fuck you!
I'll see you at the bottom
of the fucking river, bitch!
I wish I could have seen that.
It's you, Will.
What a good treat.
How I
know she loves me
Because she always shows me
In so many different ways
I've been
waiting for you.
Waiting for you.
I know what you want, Pat.
I can-- I can see.
I can see!
I can see!
We are going
to have so much fun.
That's how
I know she loves me
Because she always shows me
In so many different ways
Let's go
This hearse is cursed
I ride shotgun
And now we got a flat tire
I'm going crazy
I will stamp it on my passport
Got a crucifix
I keep it in my dashboard
That's how I know she loves me
Because she always shows me
In so many different ways
Let's go
That's how I know she loves me
Because she always shows me
In so many different ways
That's how I know she loves me
Because she always shows me
In so many different ways
I know she loves me
Because she always shows me
In so many different and ways