Daffy Duck's Movie: Fantastic Island (1983) Movie Script

1
LOOK, BOSS.
DE PLANE! DE PLANE!
COCONUT SALAD.
PUREE OF COCONUT.
COCONUT SOUP.
MIXED COCONUT.
AND PRIME COCONUT ROAST.
HEY, BOSS,
YOU FORGOT SOMETHING.
YOU FORGETTING
THE DESSERT.
OH, I HATE COCONUTS!
I CAN'T STAND COCONUTS!
WE'VE BEEN ON THIS ISLAND
FOR MONTHS.
THERE'S NOTHING ON I BUT A COCONUT TREE.
I'LL GO NUTS
IF I'M ON THIS PLACE
ANOTHER MINUTE!
HEY, BOSS.
IT'S A MINUTE ALREADY.
IT IS? WOW!
OOH HO HO HO!
OOH HEE HEE HEE!
HOO HOO! HOO HOO HOO!
HOO HOO! HOO HOO HOO!
HOO! HOO HOO HOO! HOO!
[PANTING]
[BOOM BOOM BOOM]
LOOK, DAFFY.
TWO SHEEPS.
TWO SHEEPS!
WE ARE SAVED!
WE ARE SAVED!
TWO SHEEPS?
TWO SHEEPS?
[SMACKING LIPS]
GOODY! GOODY! GOODY!
NOW WE CAN HAVE LAMB CHOPS.
OH, BOY! LEG OF LAMB!
MMM! MMM! MMM!
[GULPS]
NO, IT'S SHEEPS!
IT'S SHEEPS!
LIKE ON THE WATER.
SHEEPS!
[CANNONS FIRE]
WE'RE SAVED!
WE'RE SAVED!
SHIP AHOY!
iARRIBA, ARRIBA!
HEY, SHEEPS!
HERE WE ARE!
HERE WE ARE!
EE-HA! EE-HA!
EE-HA! EE-HA!
SHIPS AHOY THERE!
OVER HERE!
LOOK! OVER HERE
ON THE BEACH.
SHIP AHOY!
SURRENDER!
AHOY THERE!
SURRENDER, RABBIT!
I'VE GOT YOU OUTNUMBERED
ONE TO ONE!
SURRENDER? NEVER HEARD
OF THE WORD.
YOU'LL HAVE TO TRY
TO TAKE THE SHIP.
[BOOM]
NOW, HE SHOULD
KNOW BETTER THAN THAT.
[BOOM]
BLAST YOU, RABBIT!
TWO CAN PLAY THAT GAME.
LOOK THIS WAY,
ON THE BEACH!
AHOY! AHOY!
WHAT'S THE MATTER
WITH YOU GUYS--
YOU BLIND?
THIS WAY!
AHOY THERE!
COME ON, YOU GUYS,
STOP HORSING AROUND
AND RESCUE US!
PREPARE TO DEFEND
YOURSELF, RABBIT,
'CAUSE I'M A-BOARDING
YOUR SHIP.
CHARGE!
RETREAT!
[SHOUTING
IN SPANISH]
S-E-S!
S-E-S!
THAT'S S-O-S,
YOU JERK.
O.K., S-O-S,
WHATEVER.
S-O-S! S-O-S!
[CLICK CLICK]
AVAST, YOU BAD-TEMPERED,
SNAGGLE-TOOTHED VARMINT!
GET ON DECK
AND LOAD THIS CANNON!
[SPUTTERING AND GRUNTING]
ARRGHH!
CUT OUT THE ARMY TALK.
WE'RE IN THE NAVY.
[SPUTTERING AND GRUNTING]
SET HER DOWN.
SET HER DOWN HERE.
[BOOM]
OOH!
I'LL SHIVER HIS TIMBERS,
AND I'LL BATTEN
HIS HATCH
AND KEELHAUL HIS SCUPPERS.
NOW, YOU LONG-EARED CRITTER,
I'M A-GONNA
MAKE YOU PAY--
OH, NO!
YOU DOGGONE IDIOT GALOOT!
YOU'LL BLOW THE SHIP
TO SMITHEREENIES.
AND IF YOU DOES THA ONCE MORE,
I AIN'T A-GOING
AFTER IT.
[HUMMING AND MUTTERING]
OH, NO!
HEY, LOOK, BOSS.
ONE SHIP,
SHE BLOW HIS TOP.
IT'S THE FALLOUT!
SCRAM!
HEY!
OOF! OOH!
WATCH YOURSELF.
YOU'RE LIABLE
TO GET SQUASHED.
HOLY FRIJOLES.
[KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK]
YOU SQUASHED, BOSS?
METHINKS I'VE FOUND
A MAP.
IT'S A TREASURE MAP.
OH, DAME FORTUNE
SLUGGED ME.
I'M RICH!
MMM...[KISS]
I'M WEALTHY!
HOO HEE!
HOO HOO HOO!
I'M FABULOUSLY
WELL HEELED.
HOO HOO HOO!
I'M COMFORTABLY
WELL OFF.
HOO HOO! HA HA!
NO MORE COCONUTS.
MRS. MALLARD'S
LITTLE BOY
IS NOW A RICH DUCK.
HO HO! HOO!
I'LL MAKE A WONDERFUL
CAPITALIST.
OH, BOY. BOSS,
WE GOING TO FIND
TREASURE?
WE'LL FIND THAT TREASURE
IF YOU'VE GOT TO DIG UP
THIS WHOLE ISLAND.
LET'S GET STARTED.
HOW COME
I ALWAYS GET STUCK
ON THE END OF THE SHOVEL
WITH NO GOLD ON IT?
[ROW, ROW, ROW YOUR BOA PLAYS]
RACKIN'-FRACKIN' RABBIT.
I'D LIKE TO STRETCH HIM
ON A RACKIN'-BRACKIN'-
FRACKIN' RACK.
ROW FASTER,
YOU SNAGGLE-TOOTHED VARMINT,
OR I'LL BATTEN DOWN
YOUR BARNACLES.
[ROW, ROW, ROW YOUR BOA PLAYED AT FAST TEMPO]
SLOW DOWN, YOU SWAB!
YOU'RE GOING
TO CAPSIZE US!
SLOW DOWN! SLOW DOWN!
SLOW DOWN!
ARRGH.
PTOOEY! PTOOEY! PTOOEY!
OHH, JUST FOR THAT,
I'M A-GONNA
SLICE YOUR HAWSER.
[SPUTTERING]
ARRGH.
[CREAK]
GREAT THUNDERATION!
MY TREASURE MAP'S GONE!
SOME SNEAKIN' SWAB'S
RUN OFF WITH
MY TREASURE MAP.
OOH, I'LL KEELHAUL
THE SWAB THAT DONE IT.
OH, WHAT BE THIS?
AHA!
LOOKS LIKE THE ONE
WHO'S DONE I IS WEARING BLACK FEATHERS.
COME ON, YOU MANGY
WHARF RAT.
I GOT ME A CLUE.
LET'S SEE, NOW.
THIS MAP SAYS TURN LEF AT THE SWAMP.
I DON'T SEE ANY SWAMP.
PERHAPS THIS SIGN
WILL HELP.
"DANGER...
"QUICK...SAND...
SWAMP"!
WELL, DON'T JUS STAND THERE.
TURN LEFT!
[CHICKENS CLUCKING]
THERE'S FEATHER-BEARING
CRITTERS IN THAR.
NOW, GET IN THERE
AND SEE IF THOSE CRITTERS
ARE WEARING
BLACK FEATHERS.
[CHICKENS CLUCKING]
[CHICKENS SCREECHING]
[SPUTTERING
AND GRUNTING]
OH, YOU STUPID SWAB.
THERE AIN' A BLACK FEATHER AMONG THEM,
AND YOU MAY LAY TO THAT.
[SPUTTERING]
I KEEPS TELLING YOU,
CUT OUT THAT ARMY TALK.
WE'RE IN THE NAVY.
[CHICKENS CLUCKING]
ACCORDING TO THIS MAP,
THE TREASURE'S
GOT TO BE BURIED
SOMEWHERE
AMONG THESE ROCKS.
THESE ROCKS?
YOU CAN'T MISS IT.
THERE'S A BIG BLACK "X"
MARKING THE SPOT.
I FIND HIM.
EE-HA! EE-HA!
iARRIBA, ARRIBA!
iANDALE, ANDALE!
I DON'T SEE
NO CROSS, BOSS,
ONLY A BEAT-UP
OLD WELL.
THE LAST THING
IN THE WORLD I NEED
IS A STUPID WELL.
I'M NOT THIRSTY,
I'M HUNGRY.
ME, TOO, BOSS.
I WISH I HAD
SOME CHEESE.
[BOOMING VOICE]
I AM THE SPIRI OF THE WISHING WELL.
I DO MY BEST TO PLEASE.
THE WISH YOU MADE
I GRANT YOU,
SO HERE'S A HUNK OF CHEESE.
HEY, THAT SPIRI FROM THE WELL--
HE GIVE
PRETTY GOOD SERVICE.
STAND ASIDE, RODENT.
LET ME AT THAT WELL.
LISTEN, WELL.
IF YOU CAN WHOMP UP
CHEESE FOR A MOUSE,
SURELY
YOU CAN TURN ME
INTO A SUPERDUCK
SO I CAN FLY OFF
THIS STUPID ISLAND.
YOUR FONDEST WISH,
YOUR FONDEST DREAM,
I'LL MAKE YOU
SUPERDUCK SUPREME.
THIS STRANGE BEING
FROM ANOTHER PLANET IS...
FASTER THAN A BULLET...
MORE POWERFUL THAN
A SPEEDING LOCOMOTIVE...
ABLE TO LEAP
THE TALLEST BUILDINGS.
HEH HEH.
HEH HEH HEH.
DISGUISED AS CLUCK TRENT,
A MILD-MANNERED REPORTER
ON A METROPOLITAN
NEWSPAPER,
STUPOR DUCK FIGHTS
AN ENDLESS BATTLE
AGAINST THE FORCES OF...
EVIL.
YOU CALL THA SUPERDUCK?
YOU MADE ME
A STUPID DUCK.
PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE.
PATIENCE BRINGS GOOD LUCK.
IT IS SELDOM FOUND
IN HUMANS
AND NEVER IN A DUCK.
[GULPS]
HEE HEE HOO HA HA!
YOU CANNOT STOP ME,
MR. NEWSPAPER EDITOR.
I BLOW UP EVERYTHING!
BOOM! POWEE!
ZAP! KABOOM!
ALL OVER COUNTRY--
BUILDINGS, BRIDGES,
POWER PLANTS, TRAINS,
SHIPS!
EVERYWHERE,
RUIN AND DESTRUCTION!
THEN I,
AARDVARK RATNICK,
WILL BE SUPREME!
HA HA HA HA HA!
BLOW UP BUILDINGS?
BRIDGES?
SINK SHIPS?
SAY, I BELIEVE THIS
AARDVARK RATNICK FELLOW
IS IN LEAGUE WITH
THE FORCES OF EVIL.
THIS LOOKS LIKE A JOB
FOR STUPOR DUCK.
NOW TO THE BROOM CLOSE TO CHANGE
FROM THE GUISE
OF A MILD-MANNERED
NEWSPAPER REPORTER
TO THAT OF STUPOR DUCK.
[CACKLING]
WHOOPS.
WRONG COSTUME.
AND I,
AARDVARK RATNICK,
WILL RULE
THE WORLD!
HOO HA HA HA HA!
I DON'T KNOW WHY I--
[COUGH COUGH]
WATCH THESE CORNY
SOAP OPERAS.
WHERE IS HE?
WHERE'S THE COWARDLY
LITTLE SNEAK?
AHA! ESCAPED
OUT THE WINDOW, EH?
STAND ASIDE!
THIS IS A JOB
FOR STUPOR DUCK!
WOULDN'T YOU THINK
THEY COULD FIND
SOME OTHER PLACE
TO PUT A BUILDING?
[KABOOM]
THAT BUILDING DOWN THERE!
IT'S BLOWING UP!
AH!
THE EVIL WORK
OF AARDVARK RATNICK.
THIS IS A JOB FOR...
STUPOR DUCK!
TA-DA!
OH, NO THANKS ARE
NECESSARY, MY GOOD MAN.
I WAS
JUST DOING MY DUTY.
THEN THE LIGHTS WENT OU ALL OVER THE WORLD.
YOU CALL YOURSELF
A WISHING WELL?
THERE, IN THE OCEAN.
A SHIP'S SINKING.
THANK GOODNESS I'M IN TIME
TO SHOW AARDVARK RATNICK
HE'S NO MATCH FOR...
AHH...STUPOR DUCK!
ALL RIGHT, RATNICK.
LET'S SEE YOU TRY
THAT AGAIN.
FIRE ONE.
ONE AWAY, SIR.
OOH-OOH-OOH-OOH!
OOH-HOO OOH-HOO!
MOTHER.
THAT RATNICK'S
A SLIPPERY ONE, ALL RIGHT.
BUT NOT QUITE
SLIPPERY ENOUGH.
AHA!
PLANTING DYNAMITE
AT THE BASE
OF THAT RAILROAD TRESTLE.
THE WORK OF THAT RA RATNICK,
OR I DON'T KNOW MY RATS.
[TRAIN BELL CLANGS]
THIS IS A JOB FOR...
AHH...STUPOR DUCK!
[TRAIN BELL CLANGS]
[TRAIN CHUGS]
[BOOM]
[TRAIN CHUGGING]
I'LL JUST RELIEVE YOU
OF THAT,
IF YOU DON'T MIND.
SHUCKS. I ALMOS HAD HIM THAT TIME.
BUT JUST LET HIM
MAKE ONE FALSE MOVE,
AND I'LL--
[SIREN]
[SIREN]
THIS IS A JOB FOR...
YOU KNOW WHO.
ALL RIGHT, RATNICK,
YOU BETTER MAKE
YOUR FIRST SHOT A GOOD ONE,
'CAUSE I'M COMING
DOWN THERE
AND SHOVE THA OVERSIZED CANNON CRACKER
RIGHT DOWN YOUR THROAT!
UP THERE IN THE SKY!
IT'S A BIRD.
IT'S A PLANE.
IT'S STUPOR DUCK!
IT'S STUPOR DUCK!
AAH!
[ROCKET WHISTLES]
YAAH!
[KABOOM]
STUPID WELL.
OUCH! OW!
OOH! OOH!
LISTEN, YOU AT THE BOTTOM
OF THE WELL.
AS LONG AS THIS ISLAND
IS MY LAST RESORT,
MAKE IT A NICE RESORT.
YOUR UNCOUTH WORDS
HAVE REACHED MY EARS.
I RELUCTANTLY COMPLY.
THIS SHABBY LITTLE ISLAND
I SHALL TRANSMOGRIFY.
LOOK, BOSS,
A MACKEREL IS HAPPENING.
YOU MEAN A MIRACLE.
S.
HOLY FRIJOLE!
LOOK AT THIS.
IT'S ALL HERE,
JUST LIKE I WISHED IT.
EVEN BETTER!
THERE MUST BE A WAY
FOR A DUCK TO MAKE A BUCK
IN A PLACE LIKE THIS.
HEY, YOU GO A NEW SUIT.
A ZOOT SUIT.
YOUR SUI LOOKS NICE, TOO.
WHO'S YOUR TAILOR?
BY GEORGE, I'VE GOT IT!
WHEN WORD OF
THIS WISHING WELL
GETS AROUND,
PEOPLE WILL POUR IN
TO HAVE THEIR WISHES
COME TRUE
AT 500 BUCKS A WISH.
HERE. GET RID
OF THIS MAP.
NOW THAT WE'VE FOUND
THE TREASURE,
WHO NEEDS IT ANYMORE?
HEARKEN CLOSELY
TO THESE WORDS.
THIS SECRET I MUST TELL.
ONLY HE WHO OWNS THE MAP
IS POSSESSOR OF THE WELL.
GET YOUR FILTHY HANDS
OFF THAT MAP,
YOU LITTLE SNEAK.
IT'S MINE,
DO YOU HEAR?
MINE! MINE! MINE!
AND SO IS
THE WHOLE ISLAND!
HEY, WHAT YOU GOING TO
CALL THIS PLACE, BOSS?
WHAT ELSE BUT...
DAFFY DUCK'S
FANTASTIC ISLAND!
LOOK, BOSS!
DE PLANE! DE PLANE!
WHERE? OVER THERE?
S.
I SEE.
THERE IT IS--
THE FIRST OF MANY.
SHALL WE HASTEN
TO THE DOCK
AND GREET OUR GUESTS?
S, LET'S DO THAT.
iARRIBA, ARRIBA!
iANDALE PRONTO!
AS THE HOS OF FANTASTIC ISLAND,
LET ME BE THE FIRS TO EXTEND
THE HAND OF HOSPITALITY
AND BID YOU--
[SCREAMING AND SHOUTING]
SHEESH!
$500 FOR A PENNY,
FOLKS,
AND CHEAP AT THE PRICE.
YES, SIR, LADIES AND GENTS,
500 BIG ONES
WILL GET YOU A SINGLE,
SOLITARY PENNY.
PLUNK IT INTO THE WELL
AND WATCH YOUR FONDES DREAMS COME TRUE.
MY BOSS,
HE PLENTY SMAR IN THE CABEZA.
YOU BET.
DON'T SHOVE, FOLKS.
THERE'S ENOUGH PENNIES
FOR EVERYBODY.
HAVE YOUR 500 BUCKS
IN YOUR HANDS
TO SAVE TIME.
HOW MANY, LADY?
OH, HEE HEE HEE!
JUST ONE, PLEASE.
THE 500 FIRST, LADY.
OH, DEARIE ME.
OF COURSE.
I'M SO ABSENT-MINDED.
THERE YOU ARE,
SISTER.
OH, MY GRACIOUS.
I'M ALL OF
A TWITTER.
HELLO, WELL.
HI.
GO AHEAD. TOSS YOUR
STUPID PENNY IN THE WELL
AND MAKE A STUPID WISH.
WELL...HERE GOES.
I GUESS I'VE ALWAYS WANTED
TO MINISTER TO THE SUFFERINGS
OF HUMANITY.
I WISH I WAS A NURSE.
YOUR WISH
SHALL BE GRANTED.
GAZE INTO ME AND SEE.
THE NEXT TIME
THAT YOU SEE YOURSELF,
A NURSE IS WHAT YOU'LL BE.
OH, DEAR.
I'M SO IMPATIEN TO GET TO MY FIRST PATIENT.
[PANTING]
I TAWT...
I TAW...
A PUTTYTAT.
[PANTING]
[WOOF WOOF WOOF]
[CARS HONKING]
[BRAKES SQUEALING]
[HORN HONKING]
[WHISTLE BLOWING]
[HORNS HONKING]
[CRASH]
GREAT DAY IN THE MORNING!
INSTEAD OF ONE,
IT LOOKS LIKE I'M GOING
TO GET THREE.
BAD OLD PUTTYTAT.
GOOD MORNING!
AND HOW ARE MY PATIENTS
TODAY?
AND HOW'S THE DOGGIE'S
LIMB THIS MORNING?
OOH! OOH!
OHH...STILL TENDER, EH?
WELL, MAYBE THA WILL TEACH YOU
TO STOP CHASING
THE PUSSYCAT.
AND HOW'S THE...
[GIGGLES]
PUSSYFOOT TODAY?
OH! OH! OH!
STILL SENSITIVE?
MAYBE NOW YOU'LL LEAVE
THAT LITTLE BIRDIE ALONE.
I HOPE THIS TEACHES
BOTH OF YOU A LESSON.
OH, THE POOR LITTLE
TWEETY BIRD.
LET'S MAKE YOU
A LITTLE MORE
COMFORTABLE.
NOW, YOU BE GOOD BOYS
AND GET SOME REST.
[DOOR CLOSES]
UH-OH. I DON' LIKE THE LOOK
IN THAT PUTTYTAT'S EYES.
[CANE TAPPING]
[GROWLING]
AHH, SHUT UP!
OW! OW! OW!
OOH! OOH! OOH! OOH!
[GRANNY]
WHAT'S GOING ON IN THERE?
[SNORING]
MY, I MUST BE HEARING THINGS.
[CANE TAPPING]
[GROWLING AND BARKING]
DIDN'T I TELL YOU
TO SHUT UP?
OOH! OOH! OOH! OOH!
MY, MY. YOU MUST BE
IN TERRIBLE PAIN.
WE'LL GET YOU
BACK INTO BED
AND GIVE YOU SOMETHING
TO MAKE YOU SLEEP.
OOH!
THERE, NOW.
IT'LL BE
MORE QUIET HERE.
THOSE PILLS
WILL PUT YOU TO SLEEP
IN A FEW MINUTES.
OOH! OOH! OOH!
[CHUCKLING]
WHERE DID THAT PUTTYTAT GO?
HE NOWHERE AROUND.
[GRANNY]
I BETTER PEEK IN
AND SEE HOW
LITTLE TWEETY BIRD
IS DOING.
[HICCUP]
AAH!
[WHEELS SQUEAKING]
BAD OLD PUTTYTAT.
[CHUCKLING]
O.K., BUSTER,
YOU ASKED FOR IT.
OOH HOO HOO!
OW! OOH! AH!
AH! OOH! OW! OW!
OW! OOH! AH!
OW! OOH! AH!
YOU TWO AT IT AGAIN?
I'LL JUST HAVE TO
STRAP YOU BOTH IN BED.
NOW STOP SULKING.
WHY DON'T YOU
GET A HOBBY
LIKE THE PUSSYCAT?
WHEN YOU TWO
DECIDE TO BEHAVE,
I'LL UNSTRAP YOU.
[MATCH
LIGHTS UP]
[KABOOM]
WHOA-HO-HO-HO!
I'VE GOT GOOD NEWS, BOYS.
YOUR X-RAYS SHOW
NOTHING IS WRONG WITH YOU,
AND YOU'RE DISMISSED.
ISN'T THAT WONDERFUL?
GEE, IT FEELS GOOD
TO BE OUT AGAIN.
UH-OH.
[GRRR-ROWWW]
[WOOF WOOF
WOOF WOOF]
[GRRR-ROWWW]
[WOOF WOOF]
[HORNS HONKING]
[TIRES SCREECHING]
QUE SERA SERA.
YOU SIMPLY MUS STOP PLAYING
IN THE STREET.
YOU'RE RUNNING
OUT OF LEGS.
[SPUTTERING]
THERE YOU ARE, SIR.
I'M GONNA WISH
A CERTAIN ROOSTER
INTO A LO OF CREATIVE TROUBLE--
TROUBLE, THAT IS.
I SAY, WISHIN' WELL,
YOU LISTENING?
I HEAR YOU.
STATE YOUR WISH.
DROP IN YOUR PENNY
OR GO FISH.
HERE IT IS.
THERE'S THIS ROOSTER
I WANTS TO PU THE KIBOSH ON.
LITTLE FELLA--
HE'S TOOK OVER
MY CHICKEN YARD,
CORNERED
THE MARKET ON HENS,
AND MADE MY LIFE--
I SAY, MADE MY LIFE...
HE GAVE ME A COMPLEX--
INFERIOR, THAT IS.
YOU WANT TO DROP
THAT PENNY?
[SPLASH]
I DON'T WISH THE BOY
ANY PERMANENT HARM.
I JUST WAN THE COCKINESS--
I SAY, THE COCKINESS
KNOCKED OUT OF HIM.
I AM HERE
TO GRANT YOUR WISH,
THE SPIRI OF THE WELL.
I WILL KNOCK
THE COCKINESS
OUT OF THA LITTLE COCKEREL.
[JAZZY GUITAR
PLAYING LOUDLY]
IF THAT'S
WHO I THINK IT IS,
THERE'S A CERTAIN
BANTY ROOSTER
THAT'S GONNA GET BOOTED
OVER THE HORIZON.
[WHACK CLUNK]
GET OUT AND STAY OUT!
MAN, YOU'RE THE SICKEST.
LIKE, ADIOS, MY FRIEND.
[CLUCKING]
WHOO-HOO-HOO!
CHICKSVILLE!
LET'S SEE IF THESE CHICKS
DIG THE BEAT.
GEE WHIZ WILLIKINS
GOLLY GEE
I LOVE A GIRL
AND SHE LOVES ME
LIKE, UH, CLUE ME
THE DOOR, CHICKY.
OOH HEE HEE
HEE HEE HEE!
HOW ABOUT THAT?
THE PAD'S PATROLLED.
WITH A REAL JAZZY PLAN,
I CAN, UH, LIKE,
STORM THE GATES.
DIG THIS GETUP, MAN.
IT'S THE MOST.
[CLANG CLANG]
SICK, MAN. SICK.
WHAT IN THE NAME
OF JESSE JAMES
DO YOU SUPPOSE
THAT IS?
WELL, WHA DO YOU KNOW?
A TINY
FOUNDLING ROOSTER.
WHY, HE'S AS SMALL
AS THE LITTLE END
OF NOTHING SHARPENED.
DA DA DADDY-O.
HOW ABOUT THAT?
THE LITTLE TYKE
THINKS I'M HIS DADDY.
I ALWAYS--
I SAY, I ALWAYS
DID WANT A SON.
NOW I GOT ONE.
CRAZY, MAN.
[ROCK MUSIC
PLAYING LOUDLY]
YOO-HOO!
I SAY, YOO-HOO!
WHERE ARE YOU,
SONNY BOY?
OH, SONNY BOY!
UH-OH. FAKE IT.
THE FUZZ.
[SOFT MUSIC PLAYS]
WELL, WHA DO YOU KNOW?
ASLEEP
IN THE HENHOUSE.
MIGHT AS WELL
LET HIM SLEEP.
[ROCK MUSIC]
HEY, WHAT'S THAT?
[SOFT MUSIC]
YOU ALL RIGHT, SON?
I KEEP HEARING
THE MOST TERRIFYING
SOUNDS IN THERE.
[ROCK MUSIC]
HMM.
AHA!
[BAWWK]
[BIRDIES CHIRPING]
[KISS]
NEXT.
[KISS]
NEXT.
MAN, YOU'RE
A WEIRDO CHICK.
LOOK, BOY.
I THINK THERE'S
SOME PICTURES
YOU OUGHT TO SEE.
CRAZY, MAN.
CA-RAZY.
NOW, LET ME KNOW WHEN
I COME TO SOMETHING
THAT INTERESTS YOU.
[BELLS AND WHISTLES]
YAHOO!
WILD!
HA! JUST LIKE
I THOUGHT--
HE'S WACKY OVER FEMALES.
[GIGGLING]
HEY, WAI A MINUTE, BOY.
DON'T BOTHER
WITH THAT CLUCK.
HOW'D YA LIKE
TO MEET A REAL DOLL?
WILD, MAN.
REAL WILD.
O.K. YOU STAND
IN THAT CIRCLE,
AND I'LL SEND HER
THE MESSAGE.
UH-OH.
LOOKS LIKE ONE OF
THAT SILLY DOG'S
BOOBY TRAPS.
HEY, BOY.
HERE SHE COMES NOW.
AIN'T SHE A ANGEL?
LIKE, UH,
LINK US, MAN.
LINK US.
THEN I PRONOUNCE YOU
HUSBAND AND, UH...
WIFE, UH...
OR SOMETHING.
[MUFFLED]
BUT I'M A ROOSTER!
DON'T LET I BUG YA, MAN.
WE CAN' ALL BE PERFECT.
I SAY,
I'VE BEEN HORNSWOGGLED.
THAT JIBBERY-TALKIN'
ROOSTER
NEVER GO HIS COMEUPPANCE.
I WANTS
MY MONEY BACK.
YES, SIR!
WE'RE HERE TO PLEASE.
HERE'S YOUR PENNY, SIR.
I'M NO SUCKER.
HMM.
SOMEHOW I THINK I'VE BEEN
HORNSWOGGLED AGAIN.
EXCUSE MOI,
MONSIEUR.
IS THIS THE LINE
FOR THE WISHING
OF THE WELL?
I CAN'T BREATHE!
ONE PENNY, PLEASE.
I WISH TO MAKE A WISH
INTO THE WELL.
OF COURSE, SIR.
HERE.
MONSIEUR WELL,
I WISH TO MAKE THE WISH
FOR A MADEMOISELLE
WHOSE BEAUTY
SHALL BE SO PURE
AS TO RIVAL
ALL THE BEAUTIFUL AR IN LE LOUVRE.
THAT'LL BE
ONE PENNY, PLEASE.
[SPLASH]
I GRANT YOUR WISH
TO MEET A GIRL
OF BEAUTY UNSURPASSED
WHICH, WHEN COMPARED
WITH WORKS OF ART,
WILL LEAVE THE LOUVRE
OUTCLASSED.
[SINGING JAUNTILY
IN FRENCH]
LE TWEET
LE TWEET TWEET
LE--
[PEPE SINGING]
[SINGING]
[MEOW-EOW-EOWWW]
LE PURRR.
QU'IL C'EST BON,
C'EST BON
HEY.
PENNIES FROM HEAVEN.
[KISS]
HOW IMPETUOUS
CAN YOU GET?
LOOK, DARLING,
PERHAPS I AM
OLD-FASHIONED,
BUT, UH, SHOULDN'T WE
BE INTRODUCED FIRST?
EH, I AM PEPE LE PEW.
THIS IS MY FIRST AFFAIR,
SO PLEASE BE KIND.
I AM SHY, BUT, UH...
I AM WILLING.
I AM PLAYING I TOO COOL, NO?
WHERE ARE YOU,
MY LITTLE MONA LISA?
I AM LOOKING
TO FIND YOU.
I DON'T KNOW WHY,
BUT I DON' REALLY GO
FOR THIS MODERN
SCULPTURE.
WHERE ARE YOU,
MY LITTLE
OBJECT OF ART?
I AM GOING
TO COLLECT YOU.
LE PANT.
LE PANT.
GUESS WHO?
LE SCREEECH!
DON'T MOVE, DARLING.
I WAN TO REMEMBER YOU
JUST AS YOU ARE.
AW, SHUCKS.
YOU MOVED.
AH, A TRYSTING
PLACE FOR US.
YOU CLEVER, YOU.
AND VERY SAFE,
EH, PIGEON?
LOOK, MY LITTLE
ODORLISQUE,
I HAVE GIVEN UP
ART FOR YOU.
I AM WILLING
TO SETTLE DOWN
AND BE A TRAVELING
SALESMAN.
[SNIFF]
I CAN TELL YOU CHAPS
ONE THING--
IT'S NOT ALWAYS EASY
TO HOLD THIS SMILE.
MMM,
MY CHERRY BLOSSOM,
HOW I LOVE THE TASTE
OF YOUR LIPS.
[KISS]
GATHER LIPSTICK
WHILE YOU MAY
IS WHA I ALWAYS SAY.
[BANJO PLAYING]
AHA! LOOK AT THAT--
A BUNCH
OF THIEVIN' CROWS.
YOU JUST KNOW
ONE OF THEM VARMINTS
HAS STOLEN MY MAP.
OH, THE COW
KICKED NELLIE
IN THE BELLY
IN THE BARN
DIDN'T DO HER
ANY GOOD
DIDN'T DO HER
ANY HARM
LA-DEE DO-DEE
DO-DEE-DO
LA-DEE DO-DEE
DO-DEE-DO
DIDN'T DO HER
ANY GOOD
DIDN'T DO HER
ANY HARM
ALL RIGHT, YOU MANGY
FEATHER MERCHANTS,
YOU'RE MY PRISONERS,
SO COUGH UP
THAT MAP.
HEY, LOOK AT THAT.
WHAT IN TARNATION
WE GOT HERE?
GET ON YOUR FEET,
HOMBRE.
I'M A-GONNA
SEARCH YOU.
I ALWAYS SAY
A MAN'S GOT TO DO
WHAT A MAN'S
GOT TO DO.
UH, TAKE OVER.
NOPE. THEY DON'T MATCH.
COME ON, DEVIL.
WE GOT TO KEEP LOOKIN'.
GREAT...DAY...
IN THE MORNIN'.
HEY!
AIN'T YOU EVEN
GONNA APOLOGIZE?
[PANTING]
[SPLASH]
HI, DOG.
WHAT'S YOUR WISH?
MY BUDDY HERE
WISHES TO BE BRAVE
AND STRONG LIKE ME.
IF THAT'S HIS WISH
AND YOURS ALIKE,
I'LL MAKE CHESTER
BRAVE AND STRONG
LIKE SPIKE.
[GRR-ROWWW]
AAH!
AAH!
AAH!
AAH!
YOU WANT I SHOULD DIG UP
SOME BONES FOR YA?
ANYTHING
YOU SAY, SPIKE,
'CAUSE YOU AND ME
IS PALS.
HEY, SPIKE.
YOU WANNA PLAY BALL?
WANT TO PLAY BALL?
HUH, SPIKE?
YOU WANNA, HUH?
YOU WANNA?
NAH.
NAH. YOU WOULDN' LIKE THAT,
WOULD YOU, SPIKE?
SPIKE, HOW ABOU WE CHASE CARS, HUH?
THAT SOUND LIKE FUN?
NAH.
NAH. THAT WOULDN' BE NO FUN.
HOW ABOU BEATIN' UP A CAT?
WOULD YOU
LIKE THAT, SPIKE?
HUH, SPIKE?
CAT? YOU KNOW
WHERE IS IT A CAT?
YEAH, SURE, SPIKE.
SURE, SURE.
I KNOW WHERE
IS IT A CAT.
OH, BOY! WE'RE
GOING TO HAVE FUN
BEATING UP A CAT,
AIN'T WE?
CHARLESTON,
CHARLESTON
MADE IN CAROLINA
SOME DANCE,
SOME PRANCE
I'LL SAY
THERE'S NOTHIN' FINER
THAN A CHARLESTON
CHARLESTON
LORD, HOW YOU
CAN SHUFFLE
EVERY STEP YOU DO
LEADS TO SOMETHIN' NEW
MAN, I'M TELLIN' YOU,
IT'S A LOT TO DO
POP DANCE,
SWING DANCE
MOVING BACK--
DUH DUH-UH DUH
DUH-HUH GUH G-GUH
GU-GU-GUH
DUH DUH DUH-UH...
[ROWWF ROWWF
ROWWF ROWWF]
[GRR-ROWWW]
[ROWWF]
[GRR-ROWW]
[ROWWF]
[ROWWW ROWW]
[ROWWF ROWWF]
DAT'S A DIRTY,
UNDERHANDED TRICK
TO DO TO YOU, SPIKE.
I'LL SHOW THAT CA HE CAN'T DO THA TO MY PAL.
I'LL TAKE CARE
OF THAT CAT MYSELF.
GO GET 'IM, SPIKE!
GO GET 'IM!
SPIKE IS MY HERO.
[PANTING]
O.K. COME OUT, CAT.
NO USE HIDIN'.
AHA!
DERE YOU ARE!
GOTCHA,
YA DIRTY CAT.
COME OUT AND
TAKE YOUR MEDICINE,
OR I'LL PULL
YOUR TAIL OFF
BY THE ROOTS.
COME ON!
COME ON!
WHY, YOU...
I SEE YOUR COWARDLY
YELLOW EYES.
I'M A-COMIN' IN
AFTER YA.
[GRRR]
C-CAT...
BIG--BIG C-C-CAT.
[YAP YAP
YAP YAP]
C-C-CAT...
B-B-BIG...
C-C-CAT.
BIG...
C-C-CAT...
G-G-GIANT CAT.
C-C--BIG, BIG...
C-C-C...
YOU'RE KIDDIN',
SPIKE?
YOU WANT I SHOULD
TAKE CARE OF THE CA FOR YOU, SPIKE?
I'LL GIVE HIM
A ONE-TWO,
RIGHT-LEFT.
NO, YOU DON'T.
I'LL SHOW THAT CA A THING OR TWO.
[FIGHTING]
ATTA BOY, SPIKE!
LET HIM HAVE IT!
A RIGHT, A LEFT!
SPIKE?
SPIKE!
SAY SOMETHING.
LOOK, IT'S
YOUR PAL CHESTER.
PLEASE, SPIKE.
DON'T LET HIM GET ME!
HE'S A KILLER!
DON'T LET HIM
NEAR ME!
GET A HOLD
OF YOURSELF!
THAT CAT'S
NOT SO TOUGH.
I CAN TAKE
CARE OF HIM
MYSELF.
YEAH? WELL, GO AHEAD
AND GET YOURSELF KILLED.
HEH HEH HEH
HEH HEH.
JUST A MINUTE, CAT!
LOOK, SPIKE,
HERE HE IS.
LET ME TAKE CARE OF HIM
FOR YA, SPIKE.
THIS IS FOR BEATING UP
MY PAL SPIKE.
IF I CAN LICK HIM,
YOU CAN.
YOU'RE BIG AND STRONG,
AND I'M PUNY.
I GOT A JOB TO DO.
O.K., CAT,
ON YOUR FEET!
HA HA HA HA!
THE PUSSYCAT'S
GONNA SCRATCH ME.
AW, GO ON,
SCRATCH ME.
GO AHEAD,
SCRATCH ME.
I DARE YA
TO SCRATCH ME.
SPIKE! SPIKE!
YOU GOTTA GO
BACK IN THERE.
NO! NO!
HE'S A KILLER!
NOOO!
YOU AND ME IS PALS,
AIN'T WE, CHESTER?
YEAH, CHESTER.
YA WANT I SHOULD
DIG UP SOME BONES
FOR YOU?
HUH, CHESTER?
HUH, CHES?
NAH.
HEY, CHESTER,
YOU'RE MY HERO
'CAUSE YOU'RE
SO STRONG.
GEE, ARE YA GONNA
MAKE ANOTHER WISH?
ARE YA, HUH?
HUH, PAL?
OH, GOOD.
HERE COMES ANOTHER
ANXIOUS CUSTOMER.
I'D L-L-LIKE TO BUY
ONE OF THEM PENNIES
TO MAKE A W-WISH,
PLEASE.
THERE YOU ARE, SIR--
A SIMPLE PENNY
TO MAKE A WISH.
ALLOW ME TO REMOVE
THAT CUMBERSOME
BUNDLE OF MONEY.
HEY, YOU'RE
50 CENTS SHORT.
I'M B-B-BROKE,
BUT IF THIS WORKS,
IT'LL BE WORTH IT.
HI, PAL.
I'VE ALWAYS W-W-WANTED
TO BE A BIG-SHOT PRODUCER
SO'S I COULD
DISCOVER NEW TALEN AND GIVE THEM
A BREAK.
DISCOVERING NEW TALEN FOR THE WORLD TO SEE,
A WONDROUS THING
FOR A PRODUCER TO BE.
I SLAYED 'EM
IN SCRANTON.
LA-DA-DA
DEE DA
LA DA DA DA
LA DA DA
I PANICKED 'EM
IN PEORIA!
LA DA DA
LA DA DA
LA DA LA-DAAH
I KILLED 'EM
IN CUCAMONGA.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
I MAY HAVE
A SPOT FOR YOU.
NEXT, PLEASE.
BUK BUK BUK
BUK BU-UHK
BU-UHK
BUK BU-UHK
BUK BUK BUK
BUK BU-UHK
BU-UHK
BUK BU-UHK
BUK BUK BUK
BUK BU-UHK
BU-UHK
BUK BU-UHK
BUK BUK BUK
BUK BU-UHK
BU-UHK
BUK BU-UHK
BUK BUK BUK
BUK BU-UHK--
SO I LAID AN EGG.
WONDER WHAT'S NEXT.
I'M BINGO.
I'M FRANKIE.
I'M AL.
MAMMY, MAMMY
THAT'S MY MAMMY,
NOBODY ELSE'S
MY MAMMY, I SAY
CUT THE HUBBUB, BUB.
LET'S GET THIS THING
OFF THE GROUND.
ROGER, POPS.
TAKE OFF.
UH-1, UH-2, UH-3.
WHEN APRIL SHOWERS
MAY COME YOUR WAY
THEY BRING
THE FLOWERS
THAT BLOOM IN MAY
SO IF IT'S RAINING
HAVE NO REGRETS
BECAUSE IT ISN' RAINING RAIN, YOU KNOW
IT'S RAINING VIOLETS
AND WHEN YOU SEE CLOUDS
WHEN YOU SEE CLOUDS
UPON A HILL
NAH, YOU'RE NO LOOKIN' AT CLOUDS
NAH, YOU'RE LOOKIN'
AT DAFFODILS
SO KEEP ON LOOKIN'
KEEP LOOKIN'
FOR THE BLUEBIRD
AND LISTENING
FOR HIS SONG
WHENEVER APRIL SHOWERS
COME ALONG
TH-TH-THANK YOU.
I'LL LET YOU KNOW
IF ANYTHING COMES UP.
THAT'S REALLY NO HIGH-CLASS ENOUGH.
IT'S STRICTLY
FOR THOSE SILLY
S-S-SWOONING
BOBBYSOXERS.
BOY, TWO-HEADED!
THIS OUGHT TO BE
A SENSATIONAL ACT!
ACT, SCHMACT.
I'M THE JANITOR.
HEADY IS THE NAME--
J. FENNON HEADY.
I'LL SHOW YOU
WHAT I'M GOING TO DO.
I'LL PLACE THIS SUITCASE
UPON THE FLOOR.
I'LL OPEN THIS SUITCASE,
SEAT MYSELF
ON THIS UNIQUE PLATFORM.
I'M GOING TO
MANIPULATE THIS LEVER
AND ZOOM INTO THE AIR.
I'M GOING TO SOAR UP
TO STRATOSPHERIC HEIGHTS
500 FEET ABOVE SEA LEVEL.
I'M GOING
TO TAKE MY STANCE
IN A DIVING POSITION
AT THE PLATFORM'S EDGE--
NOTE THE PERFECT FORM--
AND I'M GOING TO DIVE
INTO THE AIR
NOT INTO A TANK OF WATER,
NOT INTO A BUCKE OF WATER.
NO, I'LL TELL YOU WHA I'M GOING TO DIVE INTO--
AN ORDINARY
DRINKING GLASS.
OBSERVE.
[CRASH]
NOW, GO AHEAD, SIR.
OH, A DOG ACT, HUH?
NO. MY CARD, SIR.
[WHISTLE BLOWS]
[FLEAS HUM
GAITE PARISIENNE--
THE CANCAN]
[WHISTLE BLOWS]
[FLEAS STOP HUMMING]
[DOOR SLAMS]
AW, WHO'D WANT TO D--DISC--
GIVE THOSE GUYS A BREAK?
SHEE!
I THINK WE FOUND
THE VARMIN DONE STOLE MY MAP.
HE MUST LIVE
IN THAT HOTEL
OVER YONDER.
[GRUNTING]
WAIT HERE.
I'M GOING
TO SNEAK OVER
TO THAT THERE HOTEL.
OW!
OOH, OUCH!
OOH! OUCH!
OUCH, OHH!
OUCH!
OOH!
OUCH!
IT'S NO USE,
SYLVESTER.
MY MIND'S MADE UP.
I'M GOING TO MAKE MY WISH,
AND THAT'S FINAL.
THERE YOU ARE, MA'AM.
HAPPY WISHING.
SUFFERING SUCCOTASH!
I WISH YOU'D RECONSIDER.
[SPLASH]
WISHING WELL,
OH, WISHING WELL,
YOU I DO ENTREAT.
I WISH OUR HOUSE
WOULD RESOUND TO
THE PATTER
OF LITTLE FEET.
I HEAR YOUR WISH
AND I OBEY.
THE PATTER OF LITTLE FEE YOU SHALL HEAR THIS DAY.
LAZY GOOD-FOR-NOTHING.
OH, SYLVESTER
ISN'T IT STRANGE
WE'VE NEVER HAD
A LITTLE BUNDLE
FROM HEAVEN?
SUFFERING SUCCOTASH!
DON'T START THA PATTER OF LITTLE FEE AROUND THE HOUSE STUFF
AGAIN.
I'M BUSY.
BOO HOO HOO!
I WORK
AND I SLAVE...
"AND WHAT THANKS
DO I GET?
I WISH I WAS DEAD.
BOO HOO HOO!"
EVERY DAY
IT'S THE SAME THING.
PITTER PATTER
OF LITTLE FEET.
EH!
[HICCUPS]
OH, MY ACHING HEAD.
LET'S FACE IT.
I CAN'T FLY
ANY FURTHER.
THIS PLACE IS
AS GOOD AS ANY.
WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE?
[HICCUPS]
A BABY'S A BABY.
IT'S THE ENVIRONMEN THAT MOLDS THEM.
[HICCUPS]
[DOORBELL BUZZES]
CONGRAT--
[HICCUPS]
CONGRA--
[HICCUPS]
CONGRATULATIONS, MADAM.
[HICCUPS]
YOU'RE A MOTHER.
[HICCUPING]
SYLVESTER, LOOK!
LOOK!
THE STORK WAS HERE
AND LEFT US A BABY!
A BABY?
QUICK, QUICK, OPEN IT!
OH, BOY!
THIS MAKES ME A FATHER!
[BABBLING]
A MOUSE?
A MOUSE?
[BABBLING]
MAMA!
OH, HE CALLED ME MAMA.
ISN'T HE CUTE?
CUTE?
HE'S DELICIOUS.
AAH!
SYLVESTER,
HOW COULD YOU?
AFTER ALL,
HE'S JUST A BABY.
EVEN IF HE IS A MOUSE,
HE'S OURS.
YOURS AND MINE?
YOU'RE A GAMBLING
WOMAN.
WHAT DO YOU TAKE,
HEADS OR TAILS?
AAH!
YOU BEAST!
YOU CANNIBAL!
HOW COULD YOU?
MOUSE OR NO MOUSE,
HE'S YOUR SON.
A FINE THING.
I'VE BECOME
THE FATHER
OF A BREAKFAST.
[GURGLING]
HOLD STILL,
YOU LITTLE RODENT.
AND AFTER YOU'RE THROUGH,
TAKE DARLING
FOR A WALK.
I'LL BE BACK
AS SOON AS I CAN.
[DOOR CLOSES]
[GURGLING]
[GIGGLING]
[COUGHING]
DADDY!
HEE HEE!
AW!
HE CALLED ME DADDY.
[KISS]
COOTCHIE COOTCHIE
COOTCHIE COO!
AND NOW DADDY IS GOING
TO TAKE HIS WIDDLE MAN
FOR A WALK.
COOTCHIE COOTCHIE COO.
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
GOOD DAY, SIR.
I REPRESENT THE LITTLE GIAN VACUUM CLEANER COMPANY
OF WALLA WALLA,
WASHINGTON.
NOTICE THIS MACHINE
REMOVES COMPLETELY
ALL FOREIGN PARTICLES
FROM THE ROOM.
YOU MAY NOT BE READY
TO PURCHASE NOW,
BUT IF YOU EVER DO,
REMEMBER
THE LITTLE GIAN VACUUM CLEANER.
[CRASH]
CANNIBALS.
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
[CHARLESTON PLAYS]
I UNDERSTAND
YOU NEED A BABYSITTER.
[SAWING]
[BANGING]
HO HO HO!
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
HO HO HO!
HO, DANCER,
HO, PRANCER.
MERRY CHRISTMAS,
EVERYBODY!
HO HO HO!
A JOLLY
YULETIDE.
HO HO HO!
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
MERRY CHRISTMAS,
EVERYONE!
HO HO HO!
A MERRY--
[BOOM]
[SCREECH]
WHAT A FUSS THEY MADE
AT THE OFFICE.
I GOT TO GET THE MOUSE
TO HIS REAL PARENTS.
[BABBLING]
CHEESE!
DON'T TOUCH THAT!
THOSE DARN CATS!
STILL AT IT.
I'LL SHOW THEM.
BOY!
[HICCUPS]
DID THAT MOUSE GROW!
WELL, NOTHING LIKE THIS
EVER HAPPENED
ON MY SIDE
OF THE FAMILY.
[SPLASH]
YOUR MIND
IS SUCH A SIMPLE THING,
YOUR WISH
I CAN FORETELL.
YOU'RE WISHING
FOR A HUSBAND
AND THE RING
OF A WEDDING BELL.
YES.
OH, IF IT ISN'T PRISSY.
YES.
OH, PRISSY,
YOU DON'T KNOW
HOW LUCKY YOU ARE
NEVER TO HAVE
HAD CHILDREN.
THEY'RE SUCH A TRIAL.
HEE HEE HEE!
THAT ALWAYS BURNS HER UP.
HEE HEE HEE!
YOU KNOW, JUNIOR
SCRATCHED A LITTLE TODAY
FOR THE FIRST TIME.
WONDERFUL!
HE'LL BE CROWING
NEXT THING YOU KNOW.
DON'T TOUCH MY CHILD!
WHAT, THE VERY IDEA!
THE NERVE OF HER!
WHY DOESN'T SHE HAVE
HER OWN CHILDREN?
OH, MY DEAR,
SHE'D NEVER LAND A MAN.
SHE'S TOO MUCH
OF A D-R-I-P,
IF YOU KNOW
WHAT I MEAN.
HEY, HAZEL.
LOOK WHO'S
GOING TO LOOK
FOR A HUSBAND.
NOT PRISSY?
OH, HA HA HA!
HA HA HA!
YEAH, OL'
SQUARE BRITCHES HERSELF.
[HUMMING
HERE COMES THE BRIDE]
THE POOR OLD THING
COULDN'T CATCH A HUSBAND
WITH A BEAR TRAP.
[GIGGLING]
GIRLS, HERE SHE COMES.
HAPPY HUSBAND HUNTING,
DEARIE.
DID YOU TAKE SOMETHING
TO CLUNK HIM ON THE HEAD?
[GIGGLING]
YES.
[GIGGLING]
[SNORING AND MUTTERING]
AAH!
[GASPING]
NOW, WHO'S RESPON--
I SAY, WHO'S RESPONSIBLE
FOR THIS UNWARRANTED
ATTACK ON MY PERSON?
AHA!
'COURSE, YOU KNOW
THIS MEANS WAR.
AHH!
HUH? NOW, WHA HAVE WE GOT HERE?
ALL RIGHT, SISTER,
OUT WITH IT.
LET'S HAVE IT.
WHAT, I SAY,
WHAT'S THE BIG IDEA
BASHING ME
ON THE NOGGIN
WITH A ROLLING PIN?
CLUNK
ENOUGH PEOPLE
AND WE'LL
HAVE A NATION
OF LUMPHEADS.
[BAWLS]
NOW, HOLD ON. THA WAS A JOKE, GIRL.
LUMP HEADS...
LUMPHEADS.
NOTHING
TO CRY ABOUT.
LET'S HEAR YOUR SIDE
OF THE STORY.
WELL--
I KNOW JUST WHA YOU'RE GOING TO SAY.
YOU'RE LOOKING
FOR A HUSBAND.
YES.
YOU'RE GOING
ABOUT IT ALL WRONG.
YOU DON' BAT THEM ON THE BEAN
WITH A ROLLING PIN.
THAT'S LATER.
NOW, YOU TAKE THA ROOSTER YONDER--
HE'S A FINE
BACHELOR ROOSTER.
BUT, UH--
UH-UH!
YOU'RE RIGHT!
HE DOES LOOK
LIKE A DOG,
BUT HE'S A ROOSTER,
ALL RIGHT.
HE JUST WEARS
THAT DOG SUI TO KEEP LOVESICK
HENS AWAY FROM HIM.
OH!
NOW, HERE'S HOW
TO GET HIM.
EVERYBODY, I SAY,
EVERYBODY KNOWS
THE WAY
TO A MAN'S HEART IS
THROUGH HIS STOMACH.
TAKE THIS FINE
CASABA MELON
OVER TO HIM.
SHOW HIM
WHAT YOU GOT,
BUT DON' LET HIM HAVE IT.
TEASE HIM
A LITTLE.
MAKE HIM CHASE YOU.
IS ANY OF THIS
FILTERING THROUGH
THAT LITTLE BLUE
BONNET OF YOURS?
YES.
NICE BUT SHARP
AS A SACK OF WET MICE.
PSST!
FOR ME?
[MIDDLE EASTERN
MUSIC PLAYS]
THIS CLUCK'S
OFF HER ONION.
ALL RIGHT,
SALOME.
GIVE PAPA
THE PRETTY MELON.
GIVE ME THAT CASABA,
YOU PEABRAIN!
[GRRR]
OH!
HE'S CHASING ME.
[GRRR]
I'M WIDE, I SAY,
I'M WIDE OPEN!
SHOOT ME A LATERAL.
THAT'S IT.
THAT'S THE OLD
PASSING IT, KIDDO.
[WHISTLE BLOWS]
YOUR ROOSTER, GIRLIE.
I'VE HOOKED,
I SAY, I'VE HOOKED HIM.
IT'S UP TO YOU
TO LAND HIM.
SOONER OR LATER,
SHE'S BOUND TO TRY
TO GET HIM OU OF THAT DOG SUIT.
THEN WHOA, NELLIE!
HEY, WAIT A MINUTE.
WHAT ARE YOU
TRYING TO DO,
PULL THE SKIN
OFF OF ME?
YES.
WELL, IT WON'T WORK,
GIRLIE.
IT'S ON TOO TIGHT.
NOW, WHAT'S THIS
ALL ABOUT?
WELL...
[WHISPERING]
LOOK, CHICK,
I GOT NEWS FOR YOU.
WHAT YOU WANT'S
A ROOSTER,
NOT A DOG,
WHICH I AM.
YES!
WITH THAT PUSS,
YOUR ONLY CHANCE
TO GET A ROOSTER
IS TO TRAP ONE.
HERE'S HOW YOU GO ABOU BUILDING A TRAP.
YOU GET YOURSELF
A COUPLE OF 2 X 4s.
THEN YOU GE A STEPLADDER...
WHAT IN THE, I SAY,
WHAT IN THE WORLD
IS THAT HEN
UP TO NOW?
I DON'T KNOW
WHAT YOU'RE DOING
WITH THA BOWLING BALL,
GIRLIE,
BUT I'M NOT ONE
TO LET A LADY
DO A MAN'S JOB.
[BALL ROLLS]
THERE YOU ARE,
SISTER.
HAVE FUN.
NUTTY
AS A FRUITCAKE.
[ENGINE STARTS]
GOING ON YOUR HONEYMOON?
YES.
YES!
I SAY, YES!
I WONDER WHA THEM VARMINTS IS DOING
ROUND THAT OLD WELL?
I'LL SASHAY DOWN THERE
AND FIND OUT.
MOVE ASIDE!
MAKE WAY FOR A PIRATE.
HEY, VARMINT,
WHAT IN TARNATION'S
GOING ON HERE?
FOR 500 SIMOLEONS,
I'LL GIVE YOU A PENNY.
DROP IT IN THE WELL
AND MAKE A WISH.
YOUR WISH WILL COME TRUE.
FORK OVER THE CASH.
YOU'RE HOLDING UP
THE LINE.
FORK OVER
ONE OF THEM PENNIES,
OR I'LL CUT YOU OFF
AT THE PASS.
YES, SIR.
YOU TALKED ME INTO IT.
ALL RIGHT,
YOU DUMB WELL.
I'VE ALWAYS WANTED
TO HAVE A RICH RELATIVE
WHO'D KICKED THE BUCKE AND LEF ALL HIS MONEY TO ME,
SO LET'S HAVE IT!
A VERY RICH RELATIVE
IN POOR HEALTH
DOTH WILL TO YOU
HIS ENTIRE WEALTH.
BUT, SIRE,
THERE IS NO MORE MONEY.
YOUR UNCLE THE KING
HAS CUT OFF
YOUR ALLOWANCE.
YOU KNOW THE PENALTY
FOR NOT HAVING
THE BOOKS BALANCED.
OH, NO!
NOT THE NOSE
IN THE BOOK PENALTY.
YEAH, THE NOSE
IN THE BOOK.
WE GOT TO GE SOME MONEY!
[DOORBELL CHIMES]
OOH! WELL,
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
GOOD EVENING.
MY COMPANY
HAS SELECTED YOU,
UNDER NO OBLIGATION,
TO BE THE PROUD OWNER
OF LEGAL TENDER
AMOUNTING TO--
WE DON'T WANT ANY!
1 MILLION!
A MILLION POUNDS?
WELL...
[NICELY]
COME RIGHT IN.
WELCOME
TO THE HOUSE OF SAM.
"TO MAKE CERTAIN
THIS MONEY BE RECEIVED
"BY A WORTHY PERSON
OF MILD TEMPERAMENT,
"THE BEARER
OF THE DOCUMENT"--
THAT'S ME--"HAS BEEN
AUTHORIZED TO DEDUC "FROM THE TOTAL AMOUN ANY SUM HE SEES FI WHENEVER THERE'S
ANY DISPLAY OF TEMPER."
IN SHORT, WHENEVER
YOU BLOW YOUR TOP,
YOU BLOW SOME DOUGH.
GET IT?
PROCEED.
ALLOW ME TO BE
YOUR MOST HUMBLE
AND MILD-TEMPERED
HOST.
OH, UH, SAM!
PASS THE SALT,
PLEASE!
SALT?
GET IT YOURSELF!
UH-OH. THAT'LL COS YOU ABOUT, UH...
SALT?
WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO?
HERE'S YOUR SALT,
BUNNY.
I HOPE YOU LIKE IT.
[MUTTERING]
OH, UH...
THE PEPPER,
PLEASE.
PEPPER!
OH, UH...
YEAH, HEE HEE.
THE PEPPER.
COMING RIGHT UP.
[MUTTERING]
PUT A ROOM ACROSS--
OH, SAM!
OH, NO.
HOW ABOUT THE OLIVES?
AAH...
THAT DIRTY PERA-ALTA
BAK-A-FLAPPIN'
FILABUSTIN'
GLOOM-A-BURTIN...
[SPUTTERING]
NOW, WHAT WAS THA YOU WERE SAYING?
I LIKE YOU, RABBIT.
[KISS]
I HEARD YOU IN THERE.
IT'LL COST YOU 300.
300!
OOH!
[MUFFLED SCREAMING]
[SHOUTING]
EH, I'M NOT SLEEPY.
I'LL HANG AROUND
A WHILE.
GOOD NIGHT, SAM.
NIGHTY-NIGHT, BUNNY.
[MUTTERING]
I DREAM OF JEANNIE
SHE'S A LIGHT BROWN HARE
LA TE DE DA
DA DA DA
DE TA TA DE
STOP THAT MUSIC,
YOU CRAZY ROCKIN'
VARMINT RABBIT!
WELL, THAT SHOULD
BE WORTH 400.
HEE HEE!
I WAS ONLY KIDDING.
HOW ABOUT SINGING ME
TO SLEEP
WITH THAT BRAHM'S LULLABY?
WHAT DO YOU SAY,
FRANKIE BOY?
WELL, MAYBE.
[MARCHING BAND PLAYS]
DA DA DA DUM
TA DA DA DA DA
TA DUM TA DA
DO YOU LIKE IT?
I LIKE IT.
I LIKE IT.
[MUTTERING]
LA DA DI
DO DO DO
LA DO DI DI
GET OUT OF THERE!
HEY, YOU SPLATTER-SPATTIN'
NASA-TRAPPERALL!
I HEARD YOU.
IT'S GOING
TO COST YOU 400.
OH!
AND 35 SHILLINGS.
OOH!
HEY, DOC,
WHAT'S THAT SONG
YOU'RE PLAYING?
I LIKE IT.
DIRTY...
[MUTTERING]
IF THIS KEEPS UP,
I WON'T HAVE
ANYTHING LEFT.
I'LL GET RID OF HIM.
IT'LL LOOK LIKE
AN ACCIDENT.
[SMIRKING]
OH, MR. BUNNY!
THERE'S SOMEONE
AT THE DOOR FOR YOU.
TELL HIM TO COME BACK
TOMORROW.
I'LL BE HERE ALL DAY.
WHAT?
OH, NO, YOU'RE NOT!
YOU'RE COMING OU RIGHT NOW!
OUT, OUT, OUT!
[SCREAMING]
[SPLASH]
O.K., SAM,
IT'S ALL YOURS.
WHY, YOU--
[SCREAMING]
[SPLASH]
WHEW!
THE ALPS HAVE GOT NOTHING
ON THESE STAIRS
FOR CLIMBING.
OOP!
[MUTTERING]
I GOT IT LICKED, RABBIT.
I DON'T GET MAD
NO MORE. WATCH THIS.
SEE?
HA HA HA!
I CAN TAKE IT.
I HAVEN'T THE HEAR TO TELL HIM
HE'S USED UP
ALL THE MONEY.
OOH, I HATES WISHING WELLS.
SEE HERE,
MY GOOD FELLOW,
YOU'RE CREATING
A BOTTLENECK
IN THE LINE.
OH, YEAH?
SEAWEED SAM DON'T TAKE
THAT KIND OF TALK
FROM NO FANCY PANTS!
YIKES!
YOU'VE UNPANTED ME.
FEEL A DRAFT,
VARMINT?
HA HA HA!
WRETCH.
HAVE YOU NO COUTH?
GREAT HORNY-TOADS.
IT FITS.
SO YOU'RE
THE MAP-STEALING VARMIN WHO DONE RUN OFF
WITH MY TREASURE MAP.
WELL, YOU GO THREE SECONDS
TO COUGH IT UP
BEFORE I STUN YOUR GROWTH.
TO HAVE MY WEAKNESS
EXPOSED IN FRON OF ALL THESE PEOPLE.
WHAT IF I AM A COWARD?
AT LEAS I'M A LIVE COWARD.
TAKE THE MAP.
NOW TO FIND THE TREASURE.
LET'S SEE NOW...
"WALK 10 PACES NORTH,
NORTHEAST.
1...2...
3...
4, 5, 6, 7...
8, 9...
iARRIBA, ARRIBA, ARRIBA!
iARRIBA! iANDELE!
[WISHING WELL]
OUCH! OUT, INFIDEL.
POLLUTE NO MY WHOLESOME WELL.
iARRIBA, ARRIBA, ARRIBA!
iARRIBA! iANDELE!
[GRUNTING]
WELL, GET OU OF MY WAY!
I'LL CATCH THA RODENT VARMINT.
THE ONLY TWO THINGS
A PIRATE WILL RUN FOR
IS MONEY
AND PUBLIC OFFICE.
iARRIBA! iANDELE!
OOPS!
I GOT IT!
I GOT IT!
I GOT IT!
SLOW DOWN,
YOU CANTANKEROUS CUSS!
LET GO OF MY MAP,
YOU DUCK-BILLED PLATYPUS!
HEY, BOSS,
WATCH OUT FOR THE VOLCANO!
HOT ROCKS!
YOU'LL GET HOT FOOTS!
OW!
OW!
OW!
OW!
AAH!
OOH!
YEOW!
YEOW!
[BLOWING ON THEIR FEET]
NOW LOOK WHAT YOU DONE,
YOU FLEA-BRAINED VARMINT!
YOU RUINED MY MAP!
MAP?
ONLY HE WHO HOLDS THE MAP
IS POSSESSOR OF THE WELL.
THE ISLAND'S
CHANGING BACK
TO WHAT IT WAS!
MAYBE THAT STUPID WELL'S
GOT ONE MORE WISH LEF IN IT.
I SUSPECT NOT.
HOW ABOUT JUST ONE
TEENSY-WEENSY WISH?
JUST ONE?
THERE ARE SOME WISHES
IN THE WELL.
IN TRUTH,
THEY NUMBER THREE.
USE THESE THREE WISHES
WISELY, FRIENDS,
FOR THEY ARE THE LAS THERE WILL BE.
DID YOU HEAR THAT,
FELLAS?
THE WELL HAS
GRACIOUSLY CONSENTED
TO GIVE US
THREE MORE WISHES.
ISN'T THAT SWELL?
iMARVELOUSOMENTE!
YOU COULD WISH
FOR E.T. TO GET HOME.
THREE WISHES.
THAT'S ONE APIECE.
SPEEDY CAN WISH
THE FIRST ONE,
ME THE SECOND,
SAM THE THIRD.
LISTEN. MY STOMACH
SHE IS GRUMBLING.
I WISH I HAD
A BIG FAT BURRITO.
I NEVER SAW A BURRITO
THAT LOOKED SO GOOD
LIKE THIS.
HOW CAN YOU MAKE
A STUPID WISH LIKE THAT?
I WISH THAT BURRITO
WOULD STICK ON
YOUR DUMB NOSE.
FRIJOLE!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
TAKE HIM OFF QUICK!
I CAN'T BREATHE
NOTHING BUT BURRITO!
WELL, SAM, THERE'S
ONLY ONE THING
TO DO.
USE THAT THIRD WISH
TO GET THAT BURRITO
OFF HIS NOSE.
IT'S THE ONLY
HUMANE THING TO DO.
DON'T YOU THINK SO,
SAM?
SAM? SAM!
TOO LATE, DUCK.
I ALREADY WISHED
FOR A PIRATE SHIP.
AFTER I SINKS
A CERTAIN PESKY RABBIT,
I'LL COME BACK
AND PICK YOU UP!
OOH, YOU'RE DESPICABLE!
[WISHING WELL]
AND NOW I SAY,
WITHOUT THE JOKES...
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
WARNER BROS.
WARNER BROS.