Danny the Champion of the World (1989) Movie Script
(Flapping overhead)
(Gunfire)
(Pheasant squawks)
(Whistle)
(Pheasant squawks)
(Pheasants coo)
(Men's voices approaching)
- Morning, sir.
- Morning, sir.
(Tyres screech)
A-ha.
Hmm.
- See you soon, William.
- (Man) Bye, Doc. See you soon.
She's full up, Doc.
Who? Oh, yes! Good, good.
Now, let's see.
- There, Danny, thank you.
- I checked the oil.
Oh, you've done it? That's good.
(Starts engine)
Like a cello.
Well, it is!
- Can I take her out?
- All right.
Where's reverse?
Er... Across and up.
(Tyres screech)
(Tyres screech)
You idiot! Why don't you watch -
Well done, Dan.
Afternoon. Teaching your boy
to drive, I see. Good idea.
Seems like a bright lad.
- My name's...
- Hazell.
Correct. (Chuckles)
- Already famous round here, am I?
- Notorious.
That's what I like about the country.
Everybody knows everybody.
My solicitor sent you a letter.
- I replied to it last week.
- That's why I wanted to see you.
I don't know why I use lawyers -
I like to do business face to face.
- Dad!
- Oh, er...
- Ah.
- Sorry.
Is there somewhere more private
we could talk?
- This is fine for me.
- Yes, well, whatever you say.
- You've got me over a barrel.
- Have I?
I knew I was going to have to pay out
to buy you out.
I'm not complaining. Business is business.
And I do happen to be a very rich man.
I'll give you 2,000 for this place.
Yes, that is a lot of money.
I'll put my cards on the table.
I've got one of the finest
pheasant shoots in England here.
I can't make it the tops with you
sitting slap-bang in the middle.
- This is your lucky day.
- I said in my letter I'm not selling.
He's got quite a head for business,
your dad.
All right, 2,500 -
but that's my top whack.
Mr Hazell, it's not for sale.
I don't know how to say it more clearly.
Come on, Dan, give me the grease gun.
How much do you make on this place? Eh?
Ten, maybe 12 quid a week,
if you're lucky?
I'm offering you a small fortune.
The opportunity of a lifetime.
What about the boy there? Shouldn't
you be thinking about his future?
Do you think we should sell, Danny?
- You see, we're happy here.
- I think I should warn you...
..I always get what I want,
one way or another.
No one can have everything they want.
(Hazell) I can.
Happy here, are you?
We'll see about that.
Right, now, where did we get to?
Where the Big Friendly Giant
could hear things.
Oh, yes. Your mother always
loved stories about giants, too.
The Big Friendly Giant's sense of
hearing was absolutely fantastic.
He could hear the tread of a ladybird
walking across a leaf.
He could hear the whispering of ants
as they scurried about
under the soil, gossiping.
You see, my love, there's
a whole world of sound around us
that we can't hear because our ears -
- Dad?
- What?
- That man...
- Victor Hazell?
Do you think he's going
to do nasty things to us?
- Yes, my love, I think he is.
- He's a millionaire, isn't he?
He's what we used to call a spiv
in the war.
While we were fighting,
he was making money
out of everybody else's misery.
- Is he a crook?
- Mm.
I suppose he is, sort of.
But I reckons as how you and I
are match enough for 'im.
Time for sleep.
First day of school tomorrow. Ugh!
Good night, my darling.
(Birds twitter)
I see he's bought
old Whaddon's smallholding.
(Hammering)
(Car horn)
- Morning, Mrs Clipstone.
- Morning, William. Morning, Danny.
- Morning.
- Morning.
- Morning, Danny.
- Lovely day.
(Children chatter)
Danny, don't forget
to give this to Mr Snoddy.
- It's his bill for the tyre.
- OK.
- Danny?
- Yeah?
- Bye!
- See you for tea.
(Bell rings)
(Children talk and shout)
(Man hums)
(Children sing hymn in distance)
#..we ought to ask
# Room to deny ourselves
# A road to bring us daily nearer God
# Only, O Lord, in Thy dear love
# Fit us for perfect rest above
# And help us this and every day
# To live more nearly as we pray
# Amen #
Boys and girls, you'll no doubt have
noticed a new face here this morning.
It's my pleasure to introduce
Mr Lancaster.
Wha... What?
Erm...
Captain Lancaster.
He'll be taking the senior class.
I'm sure you'd all like to give him
a warm welcome.
(Reluctant clapping)
(Children laugh)
Erm... Did you not learn to knock
before entering a room, lad?
Sorry, sir, I didn't think you were here.
My dad told me to give you this letter.
Thank you. I... Erm... I take a
wee nip now and again, understand?
Course.
I mean...
There's no great secret about it.
What I mean to say is that er...er...
Nobody knows.
- I won't tell, I promise.
- I'm sure you won't.
Right, well, off you go, then.
(Children chant times tables in distance)
(Silence)
- (Floor creaks)
- Boy!
- You're late.
- Sorry, sir.
Name?
Danny, sir.
- I asked for your name, boy.
- Smith, sir.
Well... Smith.
Do you know, if there's one thing I hate
more than a boy who's late,
it's a boy who attempts to sneak
and creep into my classroom
like a nasty little snake.
- Do you understand?
- Yes, sir.
Get to your place at the double!
Now, as it's the first day of term,
I am prepared to be lenient.
But...
I want to make one thing very clear.
I will not tolerate
any breaches of the school rules.
Punctuality.
Order.
Discipline.
That's what I demand.
And I know how to get it.
- Who are those men, Dad?
- Men from the Ministry.
Some garage owners
top up with low-grade fuel
in their high-grade tanks.
Make a bit more cash. It's an old dodge.
Right, sir, we've finished.
If you'd just like to sign here.
- Got a blitz on, have you?
- Just routine, sir.
No, it's not. A couple of your chaps
were here two weeks ago.
I don't know anything about that, sir.
Tell Mr Victor Hazell from me
he's wasting his time.
I don't know what you're talking
about, sir. Afternoon.
How was the first day back, Dan?
All right. There's a horrible new
master called Captain Lancaster.
Dad, did they really come
because of Mr Hazell?
No doubt about it.
I don't expect they'll be the last.
(Man's voice on phone)
Of course he knew it was a put-up job.
That was the idea.
You let me worry about that.
Bye.
(Rings)
- (Woman) Town Hall.
- Is Councillor Mitchell there, please?
- Putting you through.
- (Man) 489.
Stan! There's something
I'd like you to do for me.
(Birds squawk)
Dad?
Dad?
Dad?
Dad?
(Sign creaks)
Dad? Where are you?
(William) Danny?
- Dad!
- Danny, what are you doing?
Where have you been? I thought
something terrible had happened.
Oh, sweetheart.
I'm sorry, Danny. I was wrong.
I shouldn't have done it. I didn't
think you'd wake up. You never do.
Done what, Dad?
Where have you been?
- I've been up to Hazell's woods.
- But that's miles! Why?
Why?
Do you know what poaching is?
You mean... catching things?
Well... It's rather more than that.
It's going out to the woods at night
and coming home
with a nice fat pheasant for the pot.
- But that's stealing.
- What?
- (Laughs) No, it's not.
- But it is!
How would you like a midnight feast?
And I will explain to you
the mysterious art of poaching.
(Sizzling)
Well, now, once upon a time...
Dad!
Do you want your sausages?
Then listen to your old dad.
Once upon a time, people who lived
in the country were very poor.
Some of them were starving
and they were so poor
that they had to poach
their own food in order to survive.
But that was ages ago.
No, not so long ago.
In your grandfather's day.
And then, when things got better,
people continued poaching because...
Well, because...it's one of the most
exciting, difficult sports there is.
The pheasants belong to somebody,
don't they?
Ah, well, yes, strictly speaking.
Legally, they belong to the person
whose land they're on at the time.
That's never bothered anyone
round here.
Not until Mr Smarty-Pants Hazell
came and bought up all the land.
Tea, sir. It's hot.
I hate organised shoots like Hazell's!
- Why?
- They're unnatural. Against nature.
Do you know why he's got so many
pheasants? He buys them as chicks.
He puts them in pens and the keepers
feed them like...like pets.
They're practically tame!
On the day of the shoot, an army
of beaters crashes through the wood
and frightens them up into the air
and rich idiots
blast the senses out of them.
That's organised slaughter. (Sniffs)
Poaching is quite a different matter.
It's one man on his own.
It's the hunter and his prey.
The pheasants have a chance.
It's hard to catch one.
And there's the added spice
of the keepers lurking behind trees
with shotguns.
Guns?
They wouldn't shoot you, would they?
Hazell's keepers might. In the old
days they peppered your backside.
Your grandpa had a backside
like a pin-cushion.
Grandpa was a poacher?
He studied the art of poaching like...
like a scientist.
He discovered
one of the great secrets of poaching.
What was that?
- Time you were in bed.
- Oh, Dad, please. I'm all right.
- No, Danny, it's a secret.
- Please!
Well...
I suppose my dad told me...
so that I should tell you.
Pass it on, so to speak.
Like a family heirloom.
The thing he discovered, Master Daniel,
was that pheasants...love...
Pheasants love raisins.
(Echo) Pheasants love raisins...
Pheasants love raisins...
(William) Now keep very still.
Don't let them see you.
If we just stay here a minute.
Chickens like raisins, too.
Not as much as pheasants, though.
They adore them.
My old dad didn't stop there.
He thought about it
and one day the idea hit him.
Watch.
Watch that one.
Gotcha! Come on.
(Chickens cluck)
You can prod her. Stroke her, go on.
Do anything you like to her.
She won't move.
If she was a pheasant,
we could snaffle her right now.
That's the beauty of it. That's the poetry.
It's completely silent.
- Go on.
- (Chicken squawks)
The Sticky Hat, my old dad used to call it.
It's a landmark invention
in the history of poaching.
Hello, that sounds like business.
Come on.
(Engine rattles)
- (Engine backfires)
- Oh-oh.
Who's this?
Dad?
Danny, I've got a job for you.
But not until I tip you the wink.
- (Horn)
- (William) Morning.
Ah! Morning! Mr Smith?
- Yes?
- Name's Hunter.
District Council Child Welfare
Department. This is Mr Parker.
- Housing.
- Good morning.
Now, Mr Smith...
- We've had a...
- A report.
- I thought you might get one.
- Did you indeed?
- We're empowered under Section 3...
- You can inspect the place.
This is the workshop, office, stores.
- Living accommodation?
- Round the back.
- I'd be happy to show you round.
- I see.
I'm glad you're adopting
a responsible attitude.
Hm?
(Whispers)
(Chicken clucks)
I've never seen anything like it in my life!
A tin tub to wash in.
A hole in the ground to...
Do you really think this is the way to
bring up a child in this day and age?
I do. In this day and age, especially.
Why don't we have a cup of tea?
You didn't send Danny to school
until he was seven and a half.
Now, are you aware
of the legal requirement?
Yes, I'm perfectly well aware.
I taught Danny myself.
Oh. I'm afraid that just won't do,
Mr Smith.
The law is quite clear. Attendance
at a school is compulsory.
Unless alternative instruction is provided
by a qualified teacher.
- Mm-hm.
- I am a qualified teacher.
- I taught full-time before the war.
- Oh.
Well, did it never occur to you
that Danny might benefit
from the companionship of children
his own age?
(Sighs)
What... What are you doing?
How dare you! Take your hands off my car!
This is criminal damage.
I shall prosecute. I...
She sounded a bit rough.
Do you have trouble starting her?
- She does.
- Ssh!
- Points, is it, Dan?
- And carburettor.
Fuel pump's a bit wonky. I can fix it
but it really needs a new one.
- All right, Dan. We'll leave you to it.
- What?
Your car's in safe hands.
He does know what he's doing.
Come and have a cup of tea.
Danny's been tinkering with
motor cars since he could walk.
- Mr Parker? Tea?
- Mm.
I suppose he's the best
nine-year-old mechanic in the world.
I know I should have asked you first but...
I thought it would convince you
that he hasn't been wasting his time.
I should have made him go to school earlier
but...
My wife died when he was four months old.
He was all I had.
Fine-looking girl.
- (Car horn)
- Sounds like he's ready for us.
If you'd like to try it.
(Engine runs smoothly)
- Well!
- Bless my soul.
Danny, thank you very much.
Well, I'm convinced.
I assure you, you won't be
hearing any more from the council.
Danny, you're a lucky boy.
You've got the most...spiffing father.
Ready, Mr Parker.
I'm probably talking out of turn,
Mr Smith,
but if I were you, I'd hang on
to this bit of land of yours.
Say no more. Mum's the word, eh?
Goodbye! And God bless you both.
- Well done, Dan.
- Piece of cake.
Come on.
Do those tools - don't forget them.
- Dad?
- Yes?
About last night. Do you often go out
when I'm asleep and I don't know?
Not since your mother died.
I made a vow then
that I wouldn't go out poaching
until you were old enough to be left.
I'm old enough now.
You can go out whenever you like.
- Do you mean that?
- As long as you tell me.
Of course I will.
Stan... Victor here.
(Man's voice on phone)
So, what happened, then?
He'd an answer for everything,
did he?
Oh, forget it, forget it.
Stan...
when did I ever forget a favour?
Yeah. Yes, I suppose
that could be arranged. Goodbye.
An answer to everything, eh?
We'll see about that.
(William) Weasel, Danny.
You missed it. It went down there.
I love weasels - such a brave little animal.
A mother weasel will fight
to the death to protect her young.
Even against a fox
100 times bigger than her.
- 100?
- Ssh!
- What?
- Did you hear that?
(Squealing)
Come on.
(Squealing continues)
Ssh-ssh-ssh.
Don't frighten it. Don't frighten it.
(Screeches)
(William) Barbaric.
Do you know,
he'd chew right through his leg.
- (Rabbit squeals)
- Ssh!
Come on, come on.
He'd bite it right off to get out of this.
(Rabbit squeals)
Ssh... It's a vile thing.
Just what you'd expect from Hazell.
There you go. Off you go. Go on. Go on.
(Bell rings)
Dad!
- Oh, no!
- Come on, Dan.
(Scales being played on instruments)
Ah, Smith! How kind of you
to grace us with your presence at last.
Sorry, sir. My dad told me to tell you...
I don't want any of your excuses.
You're late, boy.
Late!
Come here.
Now, what did I say
about unpunctuality? Hm?
I said it would be punished, didn't I?
1,000 lines by tomorrow morning.
Now get to your place.
- Hi, Dad.
- Hi, Danny.
- What happened?
- I got a thousand lines.
- Didn't you explain?
- Didn't get a chance to.
He's got it in for you, hasn't he?
Suppose I'd better get on with it.
How's it going?
547 lines to go.
I thought I might go out again tonight.
Is that all right?
Course!
I'll be back by nine. Don't wait up.
Lights out and bed at eight. Promise?
Promise.
- You will be back?
- Of course I will.
Unless the keepers catch me.
Don't worry. They won't.
I'll be up in Hazell's woods.
(William) I'll be back by nine. Don't wait up.
Dad?
Dad!
(Engine starts)
(Gears crunch)
(Gears crunch)
(Engine judders)
Come on! Lights!
(Gears crunch)
(Gears crunch)
(Inaudible)
(Engine stalls)
(Handbrake on)
(Police bell rings)
(Police bell rings)
(Tyres screech)
(Police bell rings)
(Police bell rings)
(Bell fades)
(Sighs)
(Bird squawks)
(Twigs snap)
(Men's voices in distance)
(Man coughs)
(First man) Here, did you see a light?
(Second man) Nah.
(Snapping sound)
What was that?
Nothing. Let's get on with it.
I want to get home.
(Second man)
Hazell and his fancy ideas! Huh!
He doesn't pay us fancy wages, does he?
(First man)
By golly, I think we've got one.
(Second man) You're right.
Do you no good to hide your face!
We've got you now, my lad. (Laughs)
- Let's have the beggar out!
- No, we're gonna fetch Hazell.
It was his idea. He can take responsibility.
I've a pretty good idea
who we've got down there. Come on.
- Wait a minute. We can't leave him here.
- Look...
If he could get out,
he'd have got out, wouldn't he?
Come on.
Dad? Is that you, Dad?
- (Whispers) Danny!
- Are you all right?
Danny...
I think I've broken my ankle.
I don't know how I can get out.
There's a tow rope in the Austin.
Here?
Good boy.
It's all right for some!
(Inaudible)
(# Lively jazz from inside)
(Hazell whistles)
Good boy. That's right.
Good and secure, Danny.
- Oh!
- Are you all right?
(Owl hoots)
Give us your arm...
(Both groan)
Pull me, Danny.
Pull, Dan. Come on!
(Both groan)
Well, well, well.
Grrr! You bloody fools!
- I don't understand this.
- (Car engine)
Into reverse.
Well, get after him!
Give it more acceleration.
It's skidding.
Give her some gun.
Go on. Good boy.
Gently now with the clutch.
That's right.
Good, good. Keep going.
That's it. Clutch in, clutch in!
(Both laugh)
Woo-hoo!
- It was that beggar from the garage.
- Course it was.
- If he tries that again...
- He will.
I don't have to remind you
that you are legally entitled
to shoot him on sight.
Yes, I want him. I don't care
how you get him, just get him!
100 quid apiece in it for you
when you do.
Very well, thank you very much.
Thank you.
Yes. Well, they're...they're on their way.
- (Winces)
- Sorry.
You ought to take something for the pain.
- This'll do me.
- You can be too stoical, you know.
Mm.
Bloody awful man, Hazell.
Oh, er...
Sorry, Dan, you didn't hear that.
Absolutely appalling. I mean,
you could've been killed, you know.
Oh, yes, you could. You could.
Good heavens, I was thinking of popping up
to the woods myself one of these nights.
Imagine. It's disgraceful.
Utterly, utterly disgraceful!
- (Bicycle bell rings)
- A-ha.
- Morning, William.
- Morning, Enoch.
- Danny.
- Morning.
- Doc.
- Sergeant.
Ooh... Do look nasty.
Is it broken?
Hmm... We've had a complaint
from Mr Lord God Almighty Hazell.
- Oh, yes?
- Yes.
He says that you was up in his woods
last night poaching his pheasants
and that you might have broken your ankle.
I'm afraid I've got to take a statement.
Right, then.
Can you account
for your whereabouts last night?
The suspect replied
that he was at home all night.
How do you account
for your ankle being broken?
The suspect replied
that he broke it accidental...
falling down the steps of his caravan.
Very good. Very good!
(Vehicle approaching)
That'll be your ambulance, Doctor.
- Don't worry, I'll be back tonight.
- Good luck, Dad.
(Mouths)
Well done, Sergeant.
They'll just set the bone, plaster
him up, and he'll be as right as rain.
(Policeman) Right, I'll be off now, then.
(Thunder)
(Pouring rain outside)
(Thunder)
(Car horn)
- Dad, are you all right?
- I'm all right, my love.
A bit woozy.
- I got up at two.
- Got up at two?
I'm getting wet, Rabbetts!
So, we fell down our own stairs,
did we?
- Look here, you listen to me!
- No, you listen to me!
I know what's going on here.
You're all in this together.
What do you take me for?
I'm warning you, Smith.
You trespass again, you're gonna get shot.
Who the devil do you think you are?
You've got money
so you think you've got right to...
Shut up, will you?
- Do you hear me, Smith?
- At the moment, you're on my land.
You have one minute to get off it.
Come on.
- Summons the beggar.
- No. I want to catch him red-handed.
- But he might not try it again.
- Course he will.
He won't be able to resist it. He'll
risk anything to get even with me.
And when we get him, boys,
we'll see what he'll take
for this precious garage of his.
(Laughs)
(Coughs)
- Better?
- That's much better. (Wheezes)
You know, that fellow, he...
He really ought to be...
Yes, he... I mean, he ought to be...
Well, he ought to be, oughtn't he?
He will be. I'll see to that.
A lovely tea, Danny.
Thank you very much.
And now, William,
this is to make you sleep.
Oh, no, no, no. No, honestly.
Oh, yes, yes, yes, honestly.
Straight away, too.
Go on, Dad.
(Sighs) All right, then.
(Whispers) Hey, Danny!
You two boys...
Stand up.
Morgan.
Smith.
Up.
Now...what were
you whispering about, hmm?
Nothing, sir.
- You were cheating.
- No, sir.
You were cheating.
Come out here, both of you.
(Creaking)
Smith, here.
- Hold out your hand.
- I was not cheating, sir.
Boys who whisper during exams
are cheating. Hold out your hand.
- (Loud crack)
- (Children gasp)
Smith, I haven't finished yet.
(Snoddy) Captain Lancaster!
I'd like a word with you,
immediately, if you please.
(Children all talk at once)
Captain Lancaster, I thought I'd made
it crystal clear when I appointed you
that I will not tolerate any form
of corporal punishment in my school.
I was perfectly within my rights.
The boys were cheating.
Oh, were they? Were they indeed?
Ah, right.
Dan, Dan. Ssh! Danny.
The rest of you, sit down. Sit down.
Try and be good.
Now then...
On your word of honour,
were either of you cheating just now?
- Danny?
- No, sir.
- Sidney?
- No, sir.
Right. Back to your class.
Captain Lancaster...
If I catch you using the cane
ever again in my school
you'll be out on your ear.
Is that understood?
- Is that understood, sir?
- Yes, sir.
Good, sir.
- Hello, Dad.
- Hello, Dan.
Ow! Damn this nut!
Try this one.
What's the matter with your hand?
Who did this?
- Who did this, Danny?
- Dad...
Was it Lancaster?
- He thought me and Sid were cheating.
- Cheating? You?
- Right.
- Where are you going?
- To see Captain Lancaster.
- Please don't! Please!
- To beat the living daylights out of him.
- lt'll make everything worse.
It'll make him think
before he lays a hand on a child again.
- I'll hate you if you do it!
- Danny...
You've always taught me to fight
my own battles. You've always said.
I'm sorry, Dan.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
You're right. You're right.
I'm all angry inside and when people
get like that it just...comes out.
I want to get even with Hazell and I can't!
I had this dream. You know the shooting
season starts on Saturday?
- Yeah.
- They'll all be up at Hazell's.
The local bigwigs
and the toffs down from London.
They don't give a fig for Hazell
but they know his fields
will be crawling with pheasants.
That's all they care about.
But what if it wasn't?
- What if what wasn't?
- What if there wasn't a pheasant in sight.
Nothing.
What if someone had poached
the lot? He'd be a laughing stock!
- He'd never show his face again.
- It's a fantastic idea!
Yeah. Trouble is...
No one could poach six or seven
hundred pheasants. It's impossible.
(Doctor's voice) And now, William,
this is to make you sleep.
Tea on?
Dad...
I think I've had an idea.
It's... It's...absolutely...flabbergasting!
If it works, it would make Danny
the all-time champion of the world.
- Mmm.
- Can you give us the stuff?
Er... Yes! Of course.
I think it will require a little...a little planning.
Military planning.
Afternoon, Snoddy.
Oh, would you er...
Would you be free tomorrow?
Raisins, eh?
One bag do you?
- How many have you got?
- I don't know. 20 or 30, I suppose.
We'll take the lot.
(William) This should just put them
to sleep for a day and a night.
Then we'll snuff them.
Easy as pie.
Let's have a go!
Danny... I think we're going to do it!
You should go to bed, my love.
I've got all tomorrow.
I'll close up for the day.
(Cockerel crows)
Come on, Dan, finish that up.
Come straight back after school.
If we're not in the woods by sunset,
we'll be too late. Danny!
Go on. Off you go.
(Clip snaps shut)
(Loud snap)
Having 40 winks, are we, Smith?
We'll have to wake you up a bit,
won't we? Stay behind after the bell.
- But, sir, I've got to get home.
- You'll do as you're told, boy.
(Bell rings)
(Cheering)
Right, Smith.
Please, sir, I'll do any punishment -
I can't be late tonight.
Then you'd better put a bit of beef
into it. 20 times.
At the double!
Come on, boy! Pick those feet up!
Hup hup hup hup hup!
(Clock chimes)
Smith!
Smith!
(Trousers rip)
Captain Lancaster!
What on earth are you doing, man?
I'm... He was...
This isn't a school! It's a bear pit!
Most disgusting shambles I've ever seen!
I'm resigning!
- Do you hear me? As of now!
- Oh, good.
(Men's voices in distance)
(Man) Wait a minute.
- Nah.
- What's that?
(Whispers) Did they see the raisins?
(Loud snap)
Ah-ah. This way, this way.
Stay here.
- I've had this. I'm off home.
- What about the 100 quid?
100 quid? Our lad won't be out
poaching with his leg in plaster!
I'm not standing here all night
on the wages I get paid.
Are you coming?
(Sighs)
(William whispers)
You all right, Danny?
Let's see your hand.
All we can do now is to wait.
(Flapping overhead)
Maybe it isn't going to work.
Maybe there's something
we haven't thought of.
- Give it time.
- What?
Give it time.
(Bird squawks)
(Thud)
Come on, Dan.
(Laughs)
(Both laugh)
Oh, my goodness, it's epic!
That's the last.
I can hardly believe it! (Laughs)
Man, it's historic!
Oh, yes, I think it's... Er... Well... (Laughs)
What are we going to do with them all
when they wake up?
What do you think we should do, Danny?
Let them go.
Well said, lad.
(William)
Danny, we've got to spread the good news.
OK, let's let it go.
- (Doctor) Oh...
- It's a good one, Danny.
(William) This will let the village know.
(Excited chatter)
- What does it mean?
- Means they did it. Got the lot.
Lionel, look!
- Morning.
- (All) Morning.
- Check your names. Fred Purdy.
- Yeah.
- Harry Standon.
- Here.
(Laughs)
Yes, yes.
Ah!
What the devil
does Hazell think this is? A wedding?
- I suppose he thinks it's traditional.
- Traditional?
Punch at a shoot? (Laughs)
Good God!
The fellow's a... What?
- Ah! Morning, Hazell.
- Lord Claybury. Sir Charles.
- Expecting a record bag today.
- We'll try not to disappoint you.
Could you spare a moment,
Sir Charles?
Morning, Claybury.
Morning, Duke.
What do you think of this?
Punch at a shoot! (Laughs)
Exactly what you'd expect from
Hazell. Doesn't know the first thing.
Shouldn't be out at all
this early in the season.
- I'm impressed, Victor.
- How impressed?
You'll have a lot of local opposition.
Claybury, for instance. He'll go mad.
He's mad already.
No one's will listen to him.
Perhaps. What about the village?
They won't want a new town
in their backyard.
- Voice of the people.
- It's in line with government policy.
What about this plot here?
- Garage, smallholding, whatever it is.
- I've got it.
How much did it cost you?
It's the key to the whole thing,
or didn't the owner know?
I must have forgotten to tell him.
All right, Victor.
I think I can persuade the board.
I'm in.
What's the best stand
for the first drive, Rabbetts?
- That'll be number four.
- Number four.
Listen. First drive's through Home Woods
to the house. Everybody know it?
- (All) Aye.
- Keep the lines straight. Use sticks.
Right, then. Let's get on with it.
Number seven.
- Number four.
- Four! Good show.
Get up! Over there.
Keep that line straight!
Use those sticks!
Get those birds up!
(Men shout)
What's going on?
(All shout)
- Where are the birds?
- Don't know, sir.
There he is now, sir. Excuse me.
What the devil's happening?
Where have the birds gone?
(Rabbetts) I can't understand it.
What's going on?
(Flapping)
Ah! Ah!
Silly ass! It's a sparrow!
Sparrow? A sparrow!
Is that all you have to offer us,
Hazell? One sparrow?
(All laugh)
(All laugh)
(Doctor) I know...
(Car approaches)
- Nothing in the lower quarter.
- What do you mean, nothing?
Well, nothing.
Listen, I can't keep them
hanging around much longer.
So find me some birds
or you can find yourself another job.
(Doctor) Never enjoyed anything so much
in all my life.
(Pheasants squawk)
Oh, they're waking up!
The pills seem to be wearing off.
- All right.
- Dad, they'll shoot them!
They'll shoot us too if they see them.
- Go on, Danny!
- Get out!
Get him, Danny! Get him!
Pheasants!
(Car horn)
(Crash)
Out the way!
(Tyres screech)
(Pheasants squawk)
Get off the paint!
Well, well, well. I've got you this time.
Hazell! You're in for it now, my lad.
Dangerous driving
without due care and attention.
- Ah! The very man I wanted to see.
- Mm?
Do something useful for a change
and arrest this man.
Arrest him? What for?
Don't pretend to be more of a fool
than you are. For stealing pheasants!
- There's enough evidence!
- Are you claiming these as yours?
- Of course they're my birds, you blockhead!
- I'm not so sure about that, sir.
You're not so sure about that?!
Well, whose bloody birds are they?
Language, sir! Please!
At the present moment, sir,
these birds is on Mr Smith's land.
In which case, er...
these be Mr Smith's birds.
- That's the law.
- No doubt about it. Quite right. It's the law.
What?
- Mr Smith.
- Yes?
Hazell, Hazell.
Do I understand that you still own this land?
- I certainly do.
- I see...
My name is Charles Tallon.
Premier Building Corporation.
- If you're thinking of selling...
- Which I'm not.
I didn't think you were.
I'm afraid the deal's off.
Something tells me you won't
be building your new town here.
- New town? Hazell, what the -
- Shut up, you doddering old fool!
Blast you.
- Blast you all!
- (Laughter)
(Pheasants squawk)
Excuse me, I...
We don't understand the er...
It's simple. Hazell was never
interested in pheasants or shooting.
He was going to use
the whole of his estate for a new town.
Luckily for you, Mr Smith here
seems to have saved the day.
Not me.
Danny.
If he hadn't rescued me from the wood,
- Hazell would have forced me to sell.
- I rather think he would.
Oh, then it's three cheers for Danny!
- Hip hip...
- (All) Hooray!
- Hip hip...
- (All) Hooray!
God bless you, Danny boy!
- Hip hip...
- (All) Hooray!
(Man) Well done, Danny! Well done!
(All sing)
# For he's a jolly good fellow
# For he's a jolly good fellow
# For he's a jolly good fellow...
# And so say all of us! #
(Cheering)
(Cheering and shouting)
Well done!
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Roald Dahl's Danny The Champion Of The World (1989) English for hearing-impaired.srt
FPS: 30.000
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1) All DVDs to be subtitled
2) All VIDEO GAMES to be subtitled
3) All videos/DVDs used in lessons at school to be subtitled
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(Gunfire)
(Pheasant squawks)
(Whistle)
(Pheasant squawks)
(Pheasants coo)
(Men's voices approaching)
- Morning, sir.
- Morning, sir.
(Tyres screech)
A-ha.
Hmm.
- See you soon, William.
- (Man) Bye, Doc. See you soon.
She's full up, Doc.
Who? Oh, yes! Good, good.
Now, let's see.
- There, Danny, thank you.
- I checked the oil.
Oh, you've done it? That's good.
(Starts engine)
Like a cello.
Well, it is!
- Can I take her out?
- All right.
Where's reverse?
Er... Across and up.
(Tyres screech)
(Tyres screech)
You idiot! Why don't you watch -
Well done, Dan.
Afternoon. Teaching your boy
to drive, I see. Good idea.
Seems like a bright lad.
- My name's...
- Hazell.
Correct. (Chuckles)
- Already famous round here, am I?
- Notorious.
That's what I like about the country.
Everybody knows everybody.
My solicitor sent you a letter.
- I replied to it last week.
- That's why I wanted to see you.
I don't know why I use lawyers -
I like to do business face to face.
- Dad!
- Oh, er...
- Ah.
- Sorry.
Is there somewhere more private
we could talk?
- This is fine for me.
- Yes, well, whatever you say.
- You've got me over a barrel.
- Have I?
I knew I was going to have to pay out
to buy you out.
I'm not complaining. Business is business.
And I do happen to be a very rich man.
I'll give you 2,000 for this place.
Yes, that is a lot of money.
I'll put my cards on the table.
I've got one of the finest
pheasant shoots in England here.
I can't make it the tops with you
sitting slap-bang in the middle.
- This is your lucky day.
- I said in my letter I'm not selling.
He's got quite a head for business,
your dad.
All right, 2,500 -
but that's my top whack.
Mr Hazell, it's not for sale.
I don't know how to say it more clearly.
Come on, Dan, give me the grease gun.
How much do you make on this place? Eh?
Ten, maybe 12 quid a week,
if you're lucky?
I'm offering you a small fortune.
The opportunity of a lifetime.
What about the boy there? Shouldn't
you be thinking about his future?
Do you think we should sell, Danny?
- You see, we're happy here.
- I think I should warn you...
..I always get what I want,
one way or another.
No one can have everything they want.
(Hazell) I can.
Happy here, are you?
We'll see about that.
Right, now, where did we get to?
Where the Big Friendly Giant
could hear things.
Oh, yes. Your mother always
loved stories about giants, too.
The Big Friendly Giant's sense of
hearing was absolutely fantastic.
He could hear the tread of a ladybird
walking across a leaf.
He could hear the whispering of ants
as they scurried about
under the soil, gossiping.
You see, my love, there's
a whole world of sound around us
that we can't hear because our ears -
- Dad?
- What?
- That man...
- Victor Hazell?
Do you think he's going
to do nasty things to us?
- Yes, my love, I think he is.
- He's a millionaire, isn't he?
He's what we used to call a spiv
in the war.
While we were fighting,
he was making money
out of everybody else's misery.
- Is he a crook?
- Mm.
I suppose he is, sort of.
But I reckons as how you and I
are match enough for 'im.
Time for sleep.
First day of school tomorrow. Ugh!
Good night, my darling.
(Birds twitter)
I see he's bought
old Whaddon's smallholding.
(Hammering)
(Car horn)
- Morning, Mrs Clipstone.
- Morning, William. Morning, Danny.
- Morning.
- Morning.
- Morning, Danny.
- Lovely day.
(Children chatter)
Danny, don't forget
to give this to Mr Snoddy.
- It's his bill for the tyre.
- OK.
- Danny?
- Yeah?
- Bye!
- See you for tea.
(Bell rings)
(Children talk and shout)
(Man hums)
(Children sing hymn in distance)
#..we ought to ask
# Room to deny ourselves
# A road to bring us daily nearer God
# Only, O Lord, in Thy dear love
# Fit us for perfect rest above
# And help us this and every day
# To live more nearly as we pray
# Amen #
Boys and girls, you'll no doubt have
noticed a new face here this morning.
It's my pleasure to introduce
Mr Lancaster.
Wha... What?
Erm...
Captain Lancaster.
He'll be taking the senior class.
I'm sure you'd all like to give him
a warm welcome.
(Reluctant clapping)
(Children laugh)
Erm... Did you not learn to knock
before entering a room, lad?
Sorry, sir, I didn't think you were here.
My dad told me to give you this letter.
Thank you. I... Erm... I take a
wee nip now and again, understand?
Course.
I mean...
There's no great secret about it.
What I mean to say is that er...er...
Nobody knows.
- I won't tell, I promise.
- I'm sure you won't.
Right, well, off you go, then.
(Children chant times tables in distance)
(Silence)
- (Floor creaks)
- Boy!
- You're late.
- Sorry, sir.
Name?
Danny, sir.
- I asked for your name, boy.
- Smith, sir.
Well... Smith.
Do you know, if there's one thing I hate
more than a boy who's late,
it's a boy who attempts to sneak
and creep into my classroom
like a nasty little snake.
- Do you understand?
- Yes, sir.
Get to your place at the double!
Now, as it's the first day of term,
I am prepared to be lenient.
But...
I want to make one thing very clear.
I will not tolerate
any breaches of the school rules.
Punctuality.
Order.
Discipline.
That's what I demand.
And I know how to get it.
- Who are those men, Dad?
- Men from the Ministry.
Some garage owners
top up with low-grade fuel
in their high-grade tanks.
Make a bit more cash. It's an old dodge.
Right, sir, we've finished.
If you'd just like to sign here.
- Got a blitz on, have you?
- Just routine, sir.
No, it's not. A couple of your chaps
were here two weeks ago.
I don't know anything about that, sir.
Tell Mr Victor Hazell from me
he's wasting his time.
I don't know what you're talking
about, sir. Afternoon.
How was the first day back, Dan?
All right. There's a horrible new
master called Captain Lancaster.
Dad, did they really come
because of Mr Hazell?
No doubt about it.
I don't expect they'll be the last.
(Man's voice on phone)
Of course he knew it was a put-up job.
That was the idea.
You let me worry about that.
Bye.
(Rings)
- (Woman) Town Hall.
- Is Councillor Mitchell there, please?
- Putting you through.
- (Man) 489.
Stan! There's something
I'd like you to do for me.
(Birds squawk)
Dad?
Dad?
Dad?
Dad?
(Sign creaks)
Dad? Where are you?
(William) Danny?
- Dad!
- Danny, what are you doing?
Where have you been? I thought
something terrible had happened.
Oh, sweetheart.
I'm sorry, Danny. I was wrong.
I shouldn't have done it. I didn't
think you'd wake up. You never do.
Done what, Dad?
Where have you been?
- I've been up to Hazell's woods.
- But that's miles! Why?
Why?
Do you know what poaching is?
You mean... catching things?
Well... It's rather more than that.
It's going out to the woods at night
and coming home
with a nice fat pheasant for the pot.
- But that's stealing.
- What?
- (Laughs) No, it's not.
- But it is!
How would you like a midnight feast?
And I will explain to you
the mysterious art of poaching.
(Sizzling)
Well, now, once upon a time...
Dad!
Do you want your sausages?
Then listen to your old dad.
Once upon a time, people who lived
in the country were very poor.
Some of them were starving
and they were so poor
that they had to poach
their own food in order to survive.
But that was ages ago.
No, not so long ago.
In your grandfather's day.
And then, when things got better,
people continued poaching because...
Well, because...it's one of the most
exciting, difficult sports there is.
The pheasants belong to somebody,
don't they?
Ah, well, yes, strictly speaking.
Legally, they belong to the person
whose land they're on at the time.
That's never bothered anyone
round here.
Not until Mr Smarty-Pants Hazell
came and bought up all the land.
Tea, sir. It's hot.
I hate organised shoots like Hazell's!
- Why?
- They're unnatural. Against nature.
Do you know why he's got so many
pheasants? He buys them as chicks.
He puts them in pens and the keepers
feed them like...like pets.
They're practically tame!
On the day of the shoot, an army
of beaters crashes through the wood
and frightens them up into the air
and rich idiots
blast the senses out of them.
That's organised slaughter. (Sniffs)
Poaching is quite a different matter.
It's one man on his own.
It's the hunter and his prey.
The pheasants have a chance.
It's hard to catch one.
And there's the added spice
of the keepers lurking behind trees
with shotguns.
Guns?
They wouldn't shoot you, would they?
Hazell's keepers might. In the old
days they peppered your backside.
Your grandpa had a backside
like a pin-cushion.
Grandpa was a poacher?
He studied the art of poaching like...
like a scientist.
He discovered
one of the great secrets of poaching.
What was that?
- Time you were in bed.
- Oh, Dad, please. I'm all right.
- No, Danny, it's a secret.
- Please!
Well...
I suppose my dad told me...
so that I should tell you.
Pass it on, so to speak.
Like a family heirloom.
The thing he discovered, Master Daniel,
was that pheasants...love...
Pheasants love raisins.
(Echo) Pheasants love raisins...
Pheasants love raisins...
(William) Now keep very still.
Don't let them see you.
If we just stay here a minute.
Chickens like raisins, too.
Not as much as pheasants, though.
They adore them.
My old dad didn't stop there.
He thought about it
and one day the idea hit him.
Watch.
Watch that one.
Gotcha! Come on.
(Chickens cluck)
You can prod her. Stroke her, go on.
Do anything you like to her.
She won't move.
If she was a pheasant,
we could snaffle her right now.
That's the beauty of it. That's the poetry.
It's completely silent.
- Go on.
- (Chicken squawks)
The Sticky Hat, my old dad used to call it.
It's a landmark invention
in the history of poaching.
Hello, that sounds like business.
Come on.
(Engine rattles)
- (Engine backfires)
- Oh-oh.
Who's this?
Dad?
Danny, I've got a job for you.
But not until I tip you the wink.
- (Horn)
- (William) Morning.
Ah! Morning! Mr Smith?
- Yes?
- Name's Hunter.
District Council Child Welfare
Department. This is Mr Parker.
- Housing.
- Good morning.
Now, Mr Smith...
- We've had a...
- A report.
- I thought you might get one.
- Did you indeed?
- We're empowered under Section 3...
- You can inspect the place.
This is the workshop, office, stores.
- Living accommodation?
- Round the back.
- I'd be happy to show you round.
- I see.
I'm glad you're adopting
a responsible attitude.
Hm?
(Whispers)
(Chicken clucks)
I've never seen anything like it in my life!
A tin tub to wash in.
A hole in the ground to...
Do you really think this is the way to
bring up a child in this day and age?
I do. In this day and age, especially.
Why don't we have a cup of tea?
You didn't send Danny to school
until he was seven and a half.
Now, are you aware
of the legal requirement?
Yes, I'm perfectly well aware.
I taught Danny myself.
Oh. I'm afraid that just won't do,
Mr Smith.
The law is quite clear. Attendance
at a school is compulsory.
Unless alternative instruction is provided
by a qualified teacher.
- Mm-hm.
- I am a qualified teacher.
- I taught full-time before the war.
- Oh.
Well, did it never occur to you
that Danny might benefit
from the companionship of children
his own age?
(Sighs)
What... What are you doing?
How dare you! Take your hands off my car!
This is criminal damage.
I shall prosecute. I...
She sounded a bit rough.
Do you have trouble starting her?
- She does.
- Ssh!
- Points, is it, Dan?
- And carburettor.
Fuel pump's a bit wonky. I can fix it
but it really needs a new one.
- All right, Dan. We'll leave you to it.
- What?
Your car's in safe hands.
He does know what he's doing.
Come and have a cup of tea.
Danny's been tinkering with
motor cars since he could walk.
- Mr Parker? Tea?
- Mm.
I suppose he's the best
nine-year-old mechanic in the world.
I know I should have asked you first but...
I thought it would convince you
that he hasn't been wasting his time.
I should have made him go to school earlier
but...
My wife died when he was four months old.
He was all I had.
Fine-looking girl.
- (Car horn)
- Sounds like he's ready for us.
If you'd like to try it.
(Engine runs smoothly)
- Well!
- Bless my soul.
Danny, thank you very much.
Well, I'm convinced.
I assure you, you won't be
hearing any more from the council.
Danny, you're a lucky boy.
You've got the most...spiffing father.
Ready, Mr Parker.
I'm probably talking out of turn,
Mr Smith,
but if I were you, I'd hang on
to this bit of land of yours.
Say no more. Mum's the word, eh?
Goodbye! And God bless you both.
- Well done, Dan.
- Piece of cake.
Come on.
Do those tools - don't forget them.
- Dad?
- Yes?
About last night. Do you often go out
when I'm asleep and I don't know?
Not since your mother died.
I made a vow then
that I wouldn't go out poaching
until you were old enough to be left.
I'm old enough now.
You can go out whenever you like.
- Do you mean that?
- As long as you tell me.
Of course I will.
Stan... Victor here.
(Man's voice on phone)
So, what happened, then?
He'd an answer for everything,
did he?
Oh, forget it, forget it.
Stan...
when did I ever forget a favour?
Yeah. Yes, I suppose
that could be arranged. Goodbye.
An answer to everything, eh?
We'll see about that.
(William) Weasel, Danny.
You missed it. It went down there.
I love weasels - such a brave little animal.
A mother weasel will fight
to the death to protect her young.
Even against a fox
100 times bigger than her.
- 100?
- Ssh!
- What?
- Did you hear that?
(Squealing)
Come on.
(Squealing continues)
Ssh-ssh-ssh.
Don't frighten it. Don't frighten it.
(Screeches)
(William) Barbaric.
Do you know,
he'd chew right through his leg.
- (Rabbit squeals)
- Ssh!
Come on, come on.
He'd bite it right off to get out of this.
(Rabbit squeals)
Ssh... It's a vile thing.
Just what you'd expect from Hazell.
There you go. Off you go. Go on. Go on.
(Bell rings)
Dad!
- Oh, no!
- Come on, Dan.
(Scales being played on instruments)
Ah, Smith! How kind of you
to grace us with your presence at last.
Sorry, sir. My dad told me to tell you...
I don't want any of your excuses.
You're late, boy.
Late!
Come here.
Now, what did I say
about unpunctuality? Hm?
I said it would be punished, didn't I?
1,000 lines by tomorrow morning.
Now get to your place.
- Hi, Dad.
- Hi, Danny.
- What happened?
- I got a thousand lines.
- Didn't you explain?
- Didn't get a chance to.
He's got it in for you, hasn't he?
Suppose I'd better get on with it.
How's it going?
547 lines to go.
I thought I might go out again tonight.
Is that all right?
Course!
I'll be back by nine. Don't wait up.
Lights out and bed at eight. Promise?
Promise.
- You will be back?
- Of course I will.
Unless the keepers catch me.
Don't worry. They won't.
I'll be up in Hazell's woods.
(William) I'll be back by nine. Don't wait up.
Dad?
Dad!
(Engine starts)
(Gears crunch)
(Gears crunch)
(Engine judders)
Come on! Lights!
(Gears crunch)
(Gears crunch)
(Inaudible)
(Engine stalls)
(Handbrake on)
(Police bell rings)
(Police bell rings)
(Tyres screech)
(Police bell rings)
(Police bell rings)
(Bell fades)
(Sighs)
(Bird squawks)
(Twigs snap)
(Men's voices in distance)
(Man coughs)
(First man) Here, did you see a light?
(Second man) Nah.
(Snapping sound)
What was that?
Nothing. Let's get on with it.
I want to get home.
(Second man)
Hazell and his fancy ideas! Huh!
He doesn't pay us fancy wages, does he?
(First man)
By golly, I think we've got one.
(Second man) You're right.
Do you no good to hide your face!
We've got you now, my lad. (Laughs)
- Let's have the beggar out!
- No, we're gonna fetch Hazell.
It was his idea. He can take responsibility.
I've a pretty good idea
who we've got down there. Come on.
- Wait a minute. We can't leave him here.
- Look...
If he could get out,
he'd have got out, wouldn't he?
Come on.
Dad? Is that you, Dad?
- (Whispers) Danny!
- Are you all right?
Danny...
I think I've broken my ankle.
I don't know how I can get out.
There's a tow rope in the Austin.
Here?
Good boy.
It's all right for some!
(Inaudible)
(# Lively jazz from inside)
(Hazell whistles)
Good boy. That's right.
Good and secure, Danny.
- Oh!
- Are you all right?
(Owl hoots)
Give us your arm...
(Both groan)
Pull me, Danny.
Pull, Dan. Come on!
(Both groan)
Well, well, well.
Grrr! You bloody fools!
- I don't understand this.
- (Car engine)
Into reverse.
Well, get after him!
Give it more acceleration.
It's skidding.
Give her some gun.
Go on. Good boy.
Gently now with the clutch.
That's right.
Good, good. Keep going.
That's it. Clutch in, clutch in!
(Both laugh)
Woo-hoo!
- It was that beggar from the garage.
- Course it was.
- If he tries that again...
- He will.
I don't have to remind you
that you are legally entitled
to shoot him on sight.
Yes, I want him. I don't care
how you get him, just get him!
100 quid apiece in it for you
when you do.
Very well, thank you very much.
Thank you.
Yes. Well, they're...they're on their way.
- (Winces)
- Sorry.
You ought to take something for the pain.
- This'll do me.
- You can be too stoical, you know.
Mm.
Bloody awful man, Hazell.
Oh, er...
Sorry, Dan, you didn't hear that.
Absolutely appalling. I mean,
you could've been killed, you know.
Oh, yes, you could. You could.
Good heavens, I was thinking of popping up
to the woods myself one of these nights.
Imagine. It's disgraceful.
Utterly, utterly disgraceful!
- (Bicycle bell rings)
- A-ha.
- Morning, William.
- Morning, Enoch.
- Danny.
- Morning.
- Doc.
- Sergeant.
Ooh... Do look nasty.
Is it broken?
Hmm... We've had a complaint
from Mr Lord God Almighty Hazell.
- Oh, yes?
- Yes.
He says that you was up in his woods
last night poaching his pheasants
and that you might have broken your ankle.
I'm afraid I've got to take a statement.
Right, then.
Can you account
for your whereabouts last night?
The suspect replied
that he was at home all night.
How do you account
for your ankle being broken?
The suspect replied
that he broke it accidental...
falling down the steps of his caravan.
Very good. Very good!
(Vehicle approaching)
That'll be your ambulance, Doctor.
- Don't worry, I'll be back tonight.
- Good luck, Dad.
(Mouths)
Well done, Sergeant.
They'll just set the bone, plaster
him up, and he'll be as right as rain.
(Policeman) Right, I'll be off now, then.
(Thunder)
(Pouring rain outside)
(Thunder)
(Car horn)
- Dad, are you all right?
- I'm all right, my love.
A bit woozy.
- I got up at two.
- Got up at two?
I'm getting wet, Rabbetts!
So, we fell down our own stairs,
did we?
- Look here, you listen to me!
- No, you listen to me!
I know what's going on here.
You're all in this together.
What do you take me for?
I'm warning you, Smith.
You trespass again, you're gonna get shot.
Who the devil do you think you are?
You've got money
so you think you've got right to...
Shut up, will you?
- Do you hear me, Smith?
- At the moment, you're on my land.
You have one minute to get off it.
Come on.
- Summons the beggar.
- No. I want to catch him red-handed.
- But he might not try it again.
- Course he will.
He won't be able to resist it. He'll
risk anything to get even with me.
And when we get him, boys,
we'll see what he'll take
for this precious garage of his.
(Laughs)
(Coughs)
- Better?
- That's much better. (Wheezes)
You know, that fellow, he...
He really ought to be...
Yes, he... I mean, he ought to be...
Well, he ought to be, oughtn't he?
He will be. I'll see to that.
A lovely tea, Danny.
Thank you very much.
And now, William,
this is to make you sleep.
Oh, no, no, no. No, honestly.
Oh, yes, yes, yes, honestly.
Straight away, too.
Go on, Dad.
(Sighs) All right, then.
(Whispers) Hey, Danny!
You two boys...
Stand up.
Morgan.
Smith.
Up.
Now...what were
you whispering about, hmm?
Nothing, sir.
- You were cheating.
- No, sir.
You were cheating.
Come out here, both of you.
(Creaking)
Smith, here.
- Hold out your hand.
- I was not cheating, sir.
Boys who whisper during exams
are cheating. Hold out your hand.
- (Loud crack)
- (Children gasp)
Smith, I haven't finished yet.
(Snoddy) Captain Lancaster!
I'd like a word with you,
immediately, if you please.
(Children all talk at once)
Captain Lancaster, I thought I'd made
it crystal clear when I appointed you
that I will not tolerate any form
of corporal punishment in my school.
I was perfectly within my rights.
The boys were cheating.
Oh, were they? Were they indeed?
Ah, right.
Dan, Dan. Ssh! Danny.
The rest of you, sit down. Sit down.
Try and be good.
Now then...
On your word of honour,
were either of you cheating just now?
- Danny?
- No, sir.
- Sidney?
- No, sir.
Right. Back to your class.
Captain Lancaster...
If I catch you using the cane
ever again in my school
you'll be out on your ear.
Is that understood?
- Is that understood, sir?
- Yes, sir.
Good, sir.
- Hello, Dad.
- Hello, Dan.
Ow! Damn this nut!
Try this one.
What's the matter with your hand?
Who did this?
- Who did this, Danny?
- Dad...
Was it Lancaster?
- He thought me and Sid were cheating.
- Cheating? You?
- Right.
- Where are you going?
- To see Captain Lancaster.
- Please don't! Please!
- To beat the living daylights out of him.
- lt'll make everything worse.
It'll make him think
before he lays a hand on a child again.
- I'll hate you if you do it!
- Danny...
You've always taught me to fight
my own battles. You've always said.
I'm sorry, Dan.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
You're right. You're right.
I'm all angry inside and when people
get like that it just...comes out.
I want to get even with Hazell and I can't!
I had this dream. You know the shooting
season starts on Saturday?
- Yeah.
- They'll all be up at Hazell's.
The local bigwigs
and the toffs down from London.
They don't give a fig for Hazell
but they know his fields
will be crawling with pheasants.
That's all they care about.
But what if it wasn't?
- What if what wasn't?
- What if there wasn't a pheasant in sight.
Nothing.
What if someone had poached
the lot? He'd be a laughing stock!
- He'd never show his face again.
- It's a fantastic idea!
Yeah. Trouble is...
No one could poach six or seven
hundred pheasants. It's impossible.
(Doctor's voice) And now, William,
this is to make you sleep.
Tea on?
Dad...
I think I've had an idea.
It's... It's...absolutely...flabbergasting!
If it works, it would make Danny
the all-time champion of the world.
- Mmm.
- Can you give us the stuff?
Er... Yes! Of course.
I think it will require a little...a little planning.
Military planning.
Afternoon, Snoddy.
Oh, would you er...
Would you be free tomorrow?
Raisins, eh?
One bag do you?
- How many have you got?
- I don't know. 20 or 30, I suppose.
We'll take the lot.
(William) This should just put them
to sleep for a day and a night.
Then we'll snuff them.
Easy as pie.
Let's have a go!
Danny... I think we're going to do it!
You should go to bed, my love.
I've got all tomorrow.
I'll close up for the day.
(Cockerel crows)
Come on, Dan, finish that up.
Come straight back after school.
If we're not in the woods by sunset,
we'll be too late. Danny!
Go on. Off you go.
(Clip snaps shut)
(Loud snap)
Having 40 winks, are we, Smith?
We'll have to wake you up a bit,
won't we? Stay behind after the bell.
- But, sir, I've got to get home.
- You'll do as you're told, boy.
(Bell rings)
(Cheering)
Right, Smith.
Please, sir, I'll do any punishment -
I can't be late tonight.
Then you'd better put a bit of beef
into it. 20 times.
At the double!
Come on, boy! Pick those feet up!
Hup hup hup hup hup!
(Clock chimes)
Smith!
Smith!
(Trousers rip)
Captain Lancaster!
What on earth are you doing, man?
I'm... He was...
This isn't a school! It's a bear pit!
Most disgusting shambles I've ever seen!
I'm resigning!
- Do you hear me? As of now!
- Oh, good.
(Men's voices in distance)
(Man) Wait a minute.
- Nah.
- What's that?
(Whispers) Did they see the raisins?
(Loud snap)
Ah-ah. This way, this way.
Stay here.
- I've had this. I'm off home.
- What about the 100 quid?
100 quid? Our lad won't be out
poaching with his leg in plaster!
I'm not standing here all night
on the wages I get paid.
Are you coming?
(Sighs)
(William whispers)
You all right, Danny?
Let's see your hand.
All we can do now is to wait.
(Flapping overhead)
Maybe it isn't going to work.
Maybe there's something
we haven't thought of.
- Give it time.
- What?
Give it time.
(Bird squawks)
(Thud)
Come on, Dan.
(Laughs)
(Both laugh)
Oh, my goodness, it's epic!
That's the last.
I can hardly believe it! (Laughs)
Man, it's historic!
Oh, yes, I think it's... Er... Well... (Laughs)
What are we going to do with them all
when they wake up?
What do you think we should do, Danny?
Let them go.
Well said, lad.
(William)
Danny, we've got to spread the good news.
OK, let's let it go.
- (Doctor) Oh...
- It's a good one, Danny.
(William) This will let the village know.
(Excited chatter)
- What does it mean?
- Means they did it. Got the lot.
Lionel, look!
- Morning.
- (All) Morning.
- Check your names. Fred Purdy.
- Yeah.
- Harry Standon.
- Here.
(Laughs)
Yes, yes.
Ah!
What the devil
does Hazell think this is? A wedding?
- I suppose he thinks it's traditional.
- Traditional?
Punch at a shoot? (Laughs)
Good God!
The fellow's a... What?
- Ah! Morning, Hazell.
- Lord Claybury. Sir Charles.
- Expecting a record bag today.
- We'll try not to disappoint you.
Could you spare a moment,
Sir Charles?
Morning, Claybury.
Morning, Duke.
What do you think of this?
Punch at a shoot! (Laughs)
Exactly what you'd expect from
Hazell. Doesn't know the first thing.
Shouldn't be out at all
this early in the season.
- I'm impressed, Victor.
- How impressed?
You'll have a lot of local opposition.
Claybury, for instance. He'll go mad.
He's mad already.
No one's will listen to him.
Perhaps. What about the village?
They won't want a new town
in their backyard.
- Voice of the people.
- It's in line with government policy.
What about this plot here?
- Garage, smallholding, whatever it is.
- I've got it.
How much did it cost you?
It's the key to the whole thing,
or didn't the owner know?
I must have forgotten to tell him.
All right, Victor.
I think I can persuade the board.
I'm in.
What's the best stand
for the first drive, Rabbetts?
- That'll be number four.
- Number four.
Listen. First drive's through Home Woods
to the house. Everybody know it?
- (All) Aye.
- Keep the lines straight. Use sticks.
Right, then. Let's get on with it.
Number seven.
- Number four.
- Four! Good show.
Get up! Over there.
Keep that line straight!
Use those sticks!
Get those birds up!
(Men shout)
What's going on?
(All shout)
- Where are the birds?
- Don't know, sir.
There he is now, sir. Excuse me.
What the devil's happening?
Where have the birds gone?
(Rabbetts) I can't understand it.
What's going on?
(Flapping)
Ah! Ah!
Silly ass! It's a sparrow!
Sparrow? A sparrow!
Is that all you have to offer us,
Hazell? One sparrow?
(All laugh)
(All laugh)
(Doctor) I know...
(Car approaches)
- Nothing in the lower quarter.
- What do you mean, nothing?
Well, nothing.
Listen, I can't keep them
hanging around much longer.
So find me some birds
or you can find yourself another job.
(Doctor) Never enjoyed anything so much
in all my life.
(Pheasants squawk)
Oh, they're waking up!
The pills seem to be wearing off.
- All right.
- Dad, they'll shoot them!
They'll shoot us too if they see them.
- Go on, Danny!
- Get out!
Get him, Danny! Get him!
Pheasants!
(Car horn)
(Crash)
Out the way!
(Tyres screech)
(Pheasants squawk)
Get off the paint!
Well, well, well. I've got you this time.
Hazell! You're in for it now, my lad.
Dangerous driving
without due care and attention.
- Ah! The very man I wanted to see.
- Mm?
Do something useful for a change
and arrest this man.
Arrest him? What for?
Don't pretend to be more of a fool
than you are. For stealing pheasants!
- There's enough evidence!
- Are you claiming these as yours?
- Of course they're my birds, you blockhead!
- I'm not so sure about that, sir.
You're not so sure about that?!
Well, whose bloody birds are they?
Language, sir! Please!
At the present moment, sir,
these birds is on Mr Smith's land.
In which case, er...
these be Mr Smith's birds.
- That's the law.
- No doubt about it. Quite right. It's the law.
What?
- Mr Smith.
- Yes?
Hazell, Hazell.
Do I understand that you still own this land?
- I certainly do.
- I see...
My name is Charles Tallon.
Premier Building Corporation.
- If you're thinking of selling...
- Which I'm not.
I didn't think you were.
I'm afraid the deal's off.
Something tells me you won't
be building your new town here.
- New town? Hazell, what the -
- Shut up, you doddering old fool!
Blast you.
- Blast you all!
- (Laughter)
(Pheasants squawk)
Excuse me, I...
We don't understand the er...
It's simple. Hazell was never
interested in pheasants or shooting.
He was going to use
the whole of his estate for a new town.
Luckily for you, Mr Smith here
seems to have saved the day.
Not me.
Danny.
If he hadn't rescued me from the wood,
- Hazell would have forced me to sell.
- I rather think he would.
Oh, then it's three cheers for Danny!
- Hip hip...
- (All) Hooray!
- Hip hip...
- (All) Hooray!
God bless you, Danny boy!
- Hip hip...
- (All) Hooray!
(Man) Well done, Danny! Well done!
(All sing)
# For he's a jolly good fellow
# For he's a jolly good fellow
# For he's a jolly good fellow...
# And so say all of us! #
(Cheering)
(Cheering and shouting)
Well done!
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E N J O Y this SRT SUBTITLE R e l e a s e
Roald Dahl's Danny The Champion Of The World (1989) English for hearing-impaired.srt
FPS: 30.000
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1) All DVDs to be subtitled
2) All VIDEO GAMES to be subtitled
3) All videos/DVDs used in lessons at school to be subtitled
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