Dark Cove (2016) Movie Script
1
Do you think anybody
will find the body here?
I mean, it's not
that hard to dig up.
If we had some bleach we could
get rid of most of the remains
but this is the best
we can do for now.
We just gotta fucking try it.
Yeah, but they have
dogs that are trained
to sniff out corpses.
Fuck it!
This is what we're going to do.
We don't know anything
about what happened
we were asleep.
DARK COVE
I don't know, Joey
I mean, I'm really tired
I just worked like three
doubles straight.
Listen Rachel. I have to
go on this camping trip
I've asked every fucking server
in this entire restaurant.
Please take my shift tonight.
How come you never take any
shifts for me?
Like that time I wanted to go
to the Lil' Wayne concert
and you wouldn't take my shift.
Whatever.
Just think of the cash.
Section seven
You'll make $120 easy
and I'll throw in another
$20 right now
Yeah? What else are
you offering?
You sleazy little sleuze.
Listen, next time we're both
hammered at a party
I'll go down on you for like
two hours stright.
I'm talking Russian tongue maneuvers
kept secret during the cold war.
I've studied that shit.
I've even got this finger technique
where I tap on your clit in morse code.
My God!
You are such a freak.
Fine. I'll take your stupid
shift.
Yes! Thank you so much.
I love you.
How about a little sneak
preview in the staff bathroom?
Get the fuck outta here!
Come on. Quick moterboat?
Rim job?
Yes!
What up Joey?
Hey, Joey! What's up man?
Check out my new tattoo.
That's fucking sick dude!
Yeah, dude. I just got my
sleeve started on Monday
I'm gonna go back and get some color
touch ups and it'll be done man.
Sweet dude. Well I'm going
camping right now.
I'll catch you later, alright?
Camping? Sick bro.
I wish I could roll with.
Later buddy.
You're a fucking pimp bro.
You're a pimp.
Peace out motherfuckas!
Yo, you got your shift covered?
You know it playa.
Let's roll out.
Yummy.
I hope you girls
aren't vegetarians!
Joey!
Hello, ladies.
Did you guys actually just
sniff each other's fingers?
Hell yeah. It's from
Dazed and Confused.
That doesn't make it okay.
Nice to see you too, Lacey.
Maybe I like to smell all
sorts of things.
Roses and cream!
I like that.
Hello, Joey.
Hello.
Okay, Jen may be single now,
but that doesn't mean that you
can perv on her all weekend.
Whatever.
What's up Ian? It's been a
long time bro
Joey Deezio. My
favorite little Italian.
Are you ready for another
legendary excursion?
You know it. I've been looking
foreward to this shit all year.
Alright everybody. Welcome to
the fourth annual camping trip
Lacey, babe, I know
it's your first time.
But we wont be gentle.
I don't like it gentle!
So hard, so deep,
so far past the clit.
Shut up Joey.
So Jen, now that you're single
that means me and Ian can
"Eiffel Tower" you tonight, right?
My God, Joey.
What do you mean "Eiffel Tower"?
You mean you've never
been to Paris?
No, I've been to the south of
France on a family vacation.
What?
Don't worry, we'll show you
the "Eiffel Tower".
Jen don't listen to them.
It's just immature guy bullshit.
What is it?
What does it mean? Tell me!
If you really wanna know, it's
when you're bent over getting
double teamed by two guys, one
in the front, one in the back,
and they do a straight arm
pointing high five.
Hence, "The Eiffel Tower".
Shotgun mouth!
Yeah, no that is not happening.
I told you. It's disgusting.
Sorry Joey, I can't anyways
I've got a girlfriend.
Yeah, and she's a
prissy Vancouver chick.
She can't handle bush wacking it with some
rough Victoria boys for like three days.
Man, she had to work.
Whatever dude, I'm just sayin'
she's a little prissy.
Every time, you know, we book
something fun to do she bails.
I'm just saying, when it's on
the island.
If it's in Vancouver and it's
convenient she's there.
I'm just saying she's a bit
prissy.
She's... admit she's
a little bit prissy
Fuck you, man.
A little bit prissy?
Like that much?
Yeah, like the size
of your dick much.
You know otherwise. You know
otherwise, okay?
Lacey, back me up.
I am not getting involved
in this conversation.
You know otherwise.
Just admit it.
You big dick bastard.
Yes! See, that's what I'm saying
My dick is like the Kennedy assassination,
the truth always comes out.
What?
The Kennedy assassination?
His cock is actually
very political.
It's, like, liberal with some
conservative tendensies.
All this talk about Quinn's dick is
making me want to pull out mine.
It could come out any moment.
No!
Joey, I think you may be the
horniest person on the planet.
I've thought about it, and I
actually think that if Joey
spent all the time that put
into chasing poon,
all that energy, passion
and enthusiasm.
If he put that into doing something
that was actually productive
he probably would've found
a cure for cancer by now.
Maybe a nobel peace prize.
Or maybe solve the Kennedy
assassination mystery.
Yeah, but you know I would not
nearly be as much fun.
We know Joey, that's why we
love you bro.
You're our own little
poon hound.
Honey, are we almost there?
Just two more hours.
Welcome to Sombrio, babe.
I'm excited.
Finally.
Get me out of this van.
Alright.
That matress is fucking huge!
What kind of sex are you
planning on having this weekend?
Just because we're camping doesn't
mean we can't be comfortable.
Lacey, what have you done to
this guy?
I remember he used to just pass out
in the middle of the hard ground
with all his clothes on.
Sometimes in a pool of his own
vomit like Keith Moon.
I've matured, okay?
I'm a gentleman of leisure.
Let's leave this in there for now.
We'll take it on the second trip.
So, did you guys reserve
a campsite?
No, there aren't any
desgnated sites.
There's a few fire-pits
set up along the beach
but you can pretty much
just camp anywhere you want.
But we still have to pay though.
That's what Joey's doing right now.
Right Joey?
Yeah, yeah. I'm on it homie.
The thing that sucks is that there's
like a ten minute hike down to the beach
so we'll have to make two
trips to get all the gear going
but trust me, it's worth it.
Aren't there any park
rangers supervising?
Not really. I mean they have one or two
guys that come down once in a blue moon
to check on campfires and shit but
we've never seen them around here.
That's why it's such a
good party beach.
Hey, what's your license
plate number?
943 SPK
Sweet.
Didn't you tell me a bunch of hippies
used to live in the woods around here?
Yeah, back in the early 80's a bunch of
hippies moved here and starting squating.
They set up all these crazy elaberate
shacks right on the beach.
Some of them lived here for
over twenty years.
Yeah, some of them had kids
who were born
and until they
were were teenagers.
I actually met one
of them in Australia.
She was a pro surfer 'cause se grew
up on the beach surfing everyday.
So what happened to them?
There was a huge dispute over
the land being a provincial park
so one day like ten years ago the
authorities came and kicked them all off.
Like they lived here. Like they were
pretty much houses these shacks.
That's pretty harsh.
Yeah, it was a big deal. It was on the
cover of the paper for like a week.
Holy shit.
That's it.
My God.
I told you, babe.
Alright. Let's do this.
So Jen, you probably don't
want to talk about it
but I'm glad you came even though
you and Doug just broke up.
It's all good. I needed to get
out and have some fun.
Breakups are the worst. How
long did you guys date again?
Just over two years.
Why did you guys breakup?
I don't know. It was just
time I guess.
I'm finishing school and he's gonna
go traveling for six months.
It was along time coming anyway.
Yeah, dating in your twenties
can be tough.
Everybody's figuring
there lives out
school, traveling, serving,
fuckin' temp jobs.
Nobody has their shit
together.
It's weird because one minute I'll be
loving life and so happy that I'm free
and the next minute I'm listening
to "You'll Think of Me"
and crying all night long.
I love Keith Urban.
"You'll Think of Me" is good.
I'd probably put it in the
top ten best breakup
songs of all time.
What's number one?
"Somebody That I Used
to Know" is up there.
That's up there for sure but the number
one best breakup song of all time
is obviously "You Outta Know"
by Alanis. Boom!
Alanis? I don't
know about that man.
Dude, are you fucking
kidding me bro?
Did you listen to those
lyrics? In a top ten hit.
Housewives are listening
to this shit.
"Would she go down on you
in a theater?"
"Are you thinking of me when
you fuck her?"
That shit is cold blooded son!
And it has a pretty
sick bass line.
I've jammed on it before.
See, Joey Deezio
knows what's up.
That bass line is funky as fuck!
That's Flea
playing bass on that track.
Number one best breakup
song of all time
"You Outta Know" hands down.
Actually yeah, I could see
that. It is a classic.
Honestly Jen, we
all really like Doug
but you could do so much better.
Thank you.
Cheers to Jen.
It's just weird. I haven't
been single in so long.
Like the other day, some
guy asked me for my number
who I wasn't even interested
in and I gave it to him anyway.
I don't know why. I think he made me
feel like I was back in the game.
Last week I was picking up
this chick and my phone died.
So she busted out a pen and
paper old school style.
Which was awesome.
Anyways, she writes down
her number and her first name
and her last name which makes
sense for Facebook.
And normally that amount of
information would suffice.
Right? But no, no. Here's the
thing.
After that she writes down her
email address which is all good
but then she writes down the
name of the restaurant
she works at. And then on top of that
she adds her fucking home address.
What? She writes down the place
that works and her home address?
Yeah.
So, she's like come on over
and I will fuck you.
Let's go!
That's pretty much
your fantasy.
Right?
She must be pretty
desperado.
I did kind of meet her
at a strip club.
God! Always classy
Joey, always classy.
Let's play some "World Cup"
before dinner.
I'm in. Viva Italia!
You suck!
Goal for Canada!
Goala! Goala!
Here I'm open!
Italy for the game winner!
That girl just molested my
ankle with her foot.
I think it might be broken.
Joey get your ass up man. We
know your an Italian
but that doesn't mean you get
to dive like one.
Yellow card for diving!
Joey should have gotten
mulitple yellow cards
for grabbing me and Jen's
asses throughout the game.
Joey's faking. Game on!
It's not exactly Wembley Stadium
but it'll do.
Hey man, do you want to play?
We could do a little three on
three if you want.
I would mate but I've been on
the piss for three days straight
I'd probably fall over if I try
to run about.
On the piss?
Yeah, it means he's been
hammered for three days.
Thanks for that. I've always
wanted a translater.
It's very difficult, this
language barrier.
Are you camping here?
Yeah, with a couple Aussie
fuckers I'm friends with.
There they are. They're all
into surfing and that.
Look at those sorry
bastards Paddling around
in a freezing cold ocean
for a five second ride.
I'm Donnie by the way.
What's up man, I'm Quinn.
This is my girlfriend, Lacey.
Hi.
Those crazy Aussies will
actually be lighting off
a bunch of fireworks at our
campsite later on.
You're all welcome to pop by
for a cheeky beverage or two.
Yeah, that might be cool.
We'll try to roll down.
Alright, I'll catch you later
then.
Cheers!
Alright, see you later.
That guy seems pretty chill.
Like a classic Brit.
I think he's fucking wasted.
The fireworks might be alright.
Yeah, that'll be sweet when
we're on mushrooms.
Babe, are we actually doing
mushrooms tonight?
Yeah babe, of course. It's going
to be fun. It's gonna awesome.
So, do I get my penalty
shot or what?
I have to show you this waterfall
before it gets dark. It's a must see.
Okay. It sounds
pretty cool.
So, big question.
How is Lacey liking the
trip so far?
I'm having a great time.
It's nice to hang out with
Ian.
We've never really spent
that much time together.
It's good to get to
know your best friend.
Although, he does talk about your
cock a bit too much for my liking.
Yeah, it's a little
disconcerting.
I'm not gonna lie.
I don't get to see him too much
anymore since he moved to Vancouver
but me, Joey, Jen and him have all
been best friends since we were ten.
I'm definitely starting to feel
more like one of the group
I know, it's awesome.
Look babe. There it is.
Look at that!
That's amazing!
I can't believe stuff
like that exists here in BC.
It's like National Geographic
style.
Full out. It looks like the
entrance to the bat cave.
So, what I'm thinking is that
I should take some pics of you
in front of the waterfall on
my phone.
Perfect!
You're looking so hot right
now babe.
Nice, work it.
Fuck babe, you are
workin' it. Nice.
I'm not going to lie, I'm
getting a little hard right now.
But I really have to put my shirt
back on because it's fucking cold.
No, no, no. You don't
need to do that.
I'll come warm you up.
Hey guys!
Joey!
What the fuck is going
on here?
Nothing. We're just admiring the
wonders of nature. As you can see.
Sure there buddy. I'd stick around
a rub one out but dinner's ready
you fucking pervs.
We're coming.
Well, I wont be.
Joey, that was a tasty steak.
What did you do to get it
that flavor?
That's a Deezio family
recipe.
That shit's been around
for ages.
Passed down to me from
my "Zio".
I marinated those bad boys in a
secret concoction of herbs and spices
for two whole days.
That was amazing. You'll have to come
over sometime and cook me dinner.
I'll be there.
And you can give me
fellatio for dessert.
Speaking of dessert people.
It's that time.
Mushrooms!
I'm kind of scared. I've only done shrooms
once and I had a horrible experience.
Yeah, that can happen. But this
time you're with chill people.
We'll take care of you if
you start to bum out.
Yeah, last time that we did
shrooms Joey was so fucked up
that he spent all night in his
tent in the fetal position.
Tripping out.
Ahhhhhhh!
Man, that was brutal.
I actually thought I was back
in the womb.
Swimming around in my mom's
juices.
I seriously thought I was
swimming around the little egg.
Trying to poke in there like
a fucking dirty little sperm.
The one that made it but
never made it.
It was really fucked up.
Never again will I brew a
batch of mushroom tea.
That's how you get fucked up.
True. When you brew them in tea it's
hard to tell how much you've consumed
so you can get super fucked up.
Yeah man, it was like this one
time
when I ate way too many
pot brownies.
I actually thought I was dying.
Yeah, like that cop on the internet
who called 911 on himself.
It's because when you digest weed it
metathesizes in your body differently.
It actually releases Eleven
Hydroxy Metabolite
which is four times more
psychoactive than THC.
That's why people get so fucked
up eating pot brownies.
Who are you? You're the same
guy in science class
I was fucking trying to finger
Betsy over here
while you're talking about metabo...
whatever the fuck you're saying.
All these stories are really
comforting.
No, you'll be fine. We're out, here,
we're camping, we're with chill people
It's gonna be all good.
We're not doing pot brownies,
just a little shroomage.
Okay, enough of this hype. Let's
eat some of these bad boys.
Mushrooms! I love mushrooms!
Here just start off with this.
It's all good.
That seems like a lot.
No, that's good. That's less than an
eighth. It'll just get you a little buzz.
Big Ian. Here you go.
Here let's get you a little more.
Look at them stem right there.
Thank you.
Mushrooms, mushrooms,
mushrooms!
Here's a little for Jen.
This batch is particularly
disgusting.
Yeah. These are fucking rancid.
It's just part of the
experience.
It's a love/hate thing.
We should play a drinking
game.
I'm down. Maybe one that
involves stripping.
We should play "I Never".
What's "I Never"?
It's where you say something
crazy that you've done
and if other people have
done it they have to drink.
Fuck that. "I Never" is so
lame.
It's the same thing every
time.
"I've never had sex on a plane,
I've never had sex on a train"
"I've never came all over a girl's
face and had a midgit lick it off"
I've never done that.
I've had sex in an airport
but never on a plane.
Although I have jerked it
on a plane before.
Yeah, I have too. It was on
my flight to Thailand.
That is a long, long flight.
I did it on a flight to Toronto.
You jacked it on a domestic
flight? That's only four hours.
Did you just do it in the
bathroom?
Fuck no. Right in my seat while
the lady beside me was sleeping.
You think that's bad? I jerked
off on a Grayhound bus once.
I was in the washroom givin' when
the bus driver slams on the brakes
just as I was about to unleash
the fury.
I hit the wall and jizz starts
fucking flying everywhere.
My God!
I made a fucking mess of myself.
It was so bad.
I'm ninety percent sure that Joey
played the gimp in Pulp Fiction.
Alright, who needs another
beer?
I'll take one.
Joey, aren't you glad that
you're not working tonight?
I know. Thank God. I'd probably be
serving some Americans right now.
They'd be like. "Sir, this iced
tea is disgusting"
"I want an un-sweetend ice tea with a lemon.
And I'll sweet'n it myself with some Splenda."
Yeah, and how you can tell
they're American is they
always say "I want" or "I'm
gonna have the New York steak"
Canadians are so polite and
always say "May I please have"
But we forgive the Yanks because they're
way better tippers than Canadians
or anyone else for that matter
You really think so?
I agree. Americans always
tip 15 to 20 percent.
Canadians for the most part only
tip 10 to 15 percent.
Exactly. And Canadians need to know
that 10 percent is not a good tip.
It's kind of cool how Americans put alot
of effort into remembering your name
It's like "Hi Quinn. Thank
you very much Quinn"
"Quinn, could I get some more
napkins to wipe my face?"
"I have chicken grease on
my face"
I think the best customers are gay guys.
They're awesome and they tip huge.
True, gay guys are the best
customers.
They appreciate the service, they always
have a good time and they tip very well too.
When I used to serve my best
customers were always the cougars.
Any group of women over 40 on a girl's
night out, I used to work that shit.
I took down a 43 year old one
night.
My God Joey!
I met her at "Hugo's" one night.
She ended up taking me back
to her place
pinches my cheek and says
"You remind me of my son"
Ohhhhh!
Joey, that's disturbing.
That's like some sort of reverse
Edipus complex.
She was probably the most aware
chick I've ever boned
totally down with anything. She would say the
most outrageous shit when I was nailing her.
I was doing her from behind and she
says "Are you enjoying my pussy?"
"Are you enjoying it? Show
my pussy who's boss baby!"
And as she came she thanked me.
She thanked you for making
her cum, like right after?
No, she thanked me while she
was having her orgasm
Yeah, yeah, yeah, THAAAANK
YOOOOUUUU!
On that note, I'm going
to take a piss.
Try not to piss on a cougar
while you're out there.
Fuck, that freak probably
would have loved it
but I'm not into any of that
pissing stuff during sex
that is one line Deezio will
never cross.
Isn't it fucked up that almost all
of us have university degrees
and everyone besides Ian are
waiting tables for a living.
I mean, I just turned 25. When I was
younger I thought I'd be ballin' by now.
Yeah, but look at everyone
else our age that we know
No one's totally successful at
24, 25. It takes time.
Here we go, the conversation is gettting
all in-depth and philosophical.
At least we know the shrooms
have kicked in.
I'm definitely feeling something
For sure, I'm feeling it. That's part
of the reason for doing psycheledelics
is to reveal the truth. The truth
about the world and about yourself.
Yeah Quinn, but sometimes it's hard to face
the truth about yourself and you can bum out
Let's just chill and have a good time.
We don't need to get so intense.
It's all good, I'm chillin'
I'm just saying that the fact that
I busted my ass for four years
to get this seemingly useless
bachelor of arts degree is fucked up
I've had my degree for a year and
I'm looking for a government job
and Ian's not a server anymore. He's articling
for a really good accounting firm in Vancouver.
Yeah, I know. But there's got
to be something more
than just using our degrees to get some stupid
9 to 5, 50 to 60 thousand dollar a year job
that we really don't give a fuck about and we're
just doing it for the money or for our career.
Ever since I was a kid I'm been streamlined
into thinking that you have to get your degree
to be qualified for this certain
amount of jobs that pay more.
And now that I have my degree
it's kind of all bullshit.
I don't know what I want to do.
None of us really know where we're going
to end up or what we're gonna do.
Are we really contemplating the
meaning of life right now?
Let's just chill and have a
good time tonight.
I know what I want to do with
my life.
I want to have sex with one girl
from every country
God.
I've already got Spain, Italy, France,
Ukraine, Poland, India, Russia, Korea, Japan
Thailand, Philippines, Australia South Africa,
Brazil, Jamaica, Costa Rica, Canada, U.S.A.
Mexico and The Federated
States of Micronesia. Boom!
Quinn, maybe that's what you
need to do.
And I don't mean participating in
Joey's warped, sexual Olympics.
But to Travel. Joey and Ian did Southeast
Asia and I went to Europe with my family.
Yeah, traveling does totally
open your mind.
You'll get a whole new
perspective.
That's what I've been trying
to tell him.
He's never left North America. Come
on babe, let's go. Let's just do it.
I think you're right. I'm
finally starting to realize it.
I've beeen stuck in my own Canadian,
warped little view. I need to expand it.
That's my shroom epiphany. I'm going, I'll
save up all summer and we'll just go.
I want to go to Europe. France,
England, Germany, Spain. All that shit.
That's it, we're going.
Shroom epiphany is done.
I just got so fucking high out of nowhere.
It just hit me like a ton of bricks.
Yeah dude, I'm fucking feeling
good.
Feeling frisky.
My God, I can't feel my
earlobes!
Shit!
That looks so cool.
Holy fuck!
The colors are so sharp.
It's Donnie and those crazy
Aussie fuckers he told us about
I've never seen fireworks on
mushrooms man, this is fucking sick!
My God, that's amazing.
My God!
We have to go party with
them. We have to.
I think we need to.
Who's up for a little shroom
adventure?
Yeah man, I'm down. We need a little
mushroom adventure right now.
I can't sit still when I'm on this shit.
I wanna walk the beach and chill.
A little bit of music would
be fucking awesome too man.
I don't know, man. I think we should
just stay here with our own crew.
Come Ian. Grab some road
pops and let's socialize.
It'll be fun, dude. I'll bring
my guitar, let's go.
Come on, it'll be fun.
I just don't really feel like hanging out
with random strangers when I'm tripping.
Come on.
Let's go have a shroom
adventure.
You can't do shrooms without an
adventure. It just doesn't work.
Stick together with the
crew, bro. Let's do it.
Then I blew it,
And then I light a cigarette and
say "What's that on the TV?"
Then she just went mental and
started punching me in the face
and then she punched
my dick!
Who's that?
There they are, the
beach footballers!
Hey, what's up Donnie?
Hey guys.
Welcome, welcome. Have a
seat wherever you like.
What's mine is yours, what's yours
we share. Sit here, there, wherever.
Hey, there's a seat here if
you want.
Thanks.
Hi, I'm Dean.
I'm Jen.
Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you too.
Those fireworks were sick. We weren't
expecting a full out pro display.
You can thank these two gits
for that.
That's Dean. And this beautiful
man here is Chase.
So, where did you guys get
the fireworks?
Me and Deano picked them up when we
were surfing down the Oregon coast
and we smuggled them across
the border.
It's illegal to set them off here but this
is the perfect spot. We'd never get caught.
They looked amazing on
shrooms.
What? You guys are on
muggers?
We tried to find some before
we came up.
Do you have anymore?
No, we just ate them all
an hour ago.
You must be flying right
now.
That would be fun, the old
muggers. Chaser?
Fuck yeah. I'd be up for
tripping on some shroomies.
We brought some weed though. Ian's got
a joint we can spark up if you want.
Nice man. Yeah, Lacey. She's the
one I was telling you about.
She couldn't
understand my accent.
I felt like Liam Gallagher
when Behind the Music.
I saw that, it was hilarious. They had
You think that was bad?
Did you know the first Mad Max movie
was dubbed with American actors?
It's because they thought the Yanks
wouldn't understand the Aussie accents.
That version was horrible.
That is some
strong fucking weed.
That is BC chronic at it's best.
Hey, is that your guitar?
I play quite a bit. Dean does too
but he can't play worth a shit.
Fuck off. I can play a bit
of Nirvana.
Yeah, and it's bloody shocking. Kurt
would be rolling over in his grave.
So are you guys hiking or
surfing?
Neither, we're just partying
and camping.
We do it every year.
That's cool. Most people that come by
here are hiking the Juan de Fuca trail.
We've met a few surfers too but
they're mostly pretty rubbish.
Are you guys like pro
surfers or something?
We're pretty good. We both used
to compete when we were younger
but now we just
surf for pleasure.
I've always wanted
to try surfing
but I'm waiting till I'm
somewhere warm like Hawaii
it's just too cold around here.
That's what wet suits are for.
If you want, tomorrow I could
show you a few basics.
You can surf the shallow white
wash, it's really safe and easy.
We brought up an extra
board and wet suit.
Come on, I'll show you.
I could play you a little tune.
So this is where
we keep our gear.
The small board is Chase's,
the big one's mine.
The wetsuits. And we've got an extra
board and wetsuit in the car for Donnie
but let's be honest, he's a lazy fucker
and he's never goning to use it.
If you want to try it out
tomorrow you can.
Really? That would be
awesome.
Some of the other guys
might want to try too.
So, do you guys surf a ton
of big waves in Australia?
Sometimes, we used to surf
quite a bit on the south coast
but riding big waves
you can get hurt alot.
But aren't there a
ton of great whites?
Yeah, but that's half the fun.
You're crazy.
So, what do you guys do just travel
around surfing on an endless summer?
Kind of. We both snowboard too. We spent the
winter working at a ski resort in Banff
but visas ran out so we're
kind of here illegally now
But we can't really work so we're
just bumming around a bit.
What do you do?
I just graduated with a
degree in econonomics.
I'm looking for a real job now but I kind
of want to travel before I'm locked down.
I've been to Europe but I've
always wanted to go to Australia.
You should definitely go
to Australia.
It's a really beautiful place.
I know that in North America everyone
thinks it's just outback and beaches
but in the urban areas it's actually a
really sophisticated modern society.
So, we should probably
get back
but I'm really excited for you to
teach me how to surf tomorrow.
Yeah, it's gonna be fun.
That was sick, dude!
Here you go, Quinn. Let's
have a tune.
What are you going play?
You should play "I
Just Wanna Go Home"
Yeah, we could.
What's that song?
You'll love it. They wrote it
themselves.
It even mentions Brits and
Australians in it.
An original. Perfect.
Let's hear it.
This is a song that we usually do on
the last day of camping and partying
because we're so burnt out.
It's perfect for that but we'll
play it for you now just for fun.
One more time.
Alright guys, that was fun but I
think we're just going to crash out
Yeah, definitely bed time.
I'm crashing too, man.
Goodnight guys.
Goodnight Lacey.
Goodnight Jen.
Yeah!
Joey, what are you doing?
I love mushrooms. I love
mushrooms, baby!
My God.
Yeah, Jen and Deano. Take this
shit back to Australia, baby!
I'm done. I don't even think I have
enough energy to jerk off tonight.
I'm going to bed.
Yeah, must be from all that
dancing about you did.
You might have to show me some
of those moves you got mate.
Hell, no! Those are mine.
I keep secrets.
Goodnight, Joey.
Alright. Goodnight, guys.
Goodnight, mate.
Funny guy.
Yeah.
So, is that your tent
over there?
Maybe.
I can't.
What's wrong?
I broke up with my boyfriend
of two years
and I'm still not ready.
Yeah, I know what it's like.
It's all good.
Could I have one more kiss?
Just a little one?
Dean. I said I can't.
Dean.
I said no.
I said no.
Why don't you shut the fuck up?
Fucking bitch!
You mother fucking piece
of shit!
What the fuck were you
trying to do? Mother fucker?
Alright man, he's had enough!
He's pretty fucked up.
Fuck this Aussie
piece of shit! Rapist fuck!
Can you believe that he tried to pull
that shit off at our own campsite?
You just got fucked up!
You hear me?
You got something to
say you little bitch?
I'm sorry.
What did you say, mother
fucker? What'd you say?
I'm sorry.
Bullshit!
Shit! What the fuck?
Holy shit.
What the fuck was that?
Holy shit. His heart's not
fucking beating.
I think he's fucking dead.
Good.
What?
I said good. Fuck him,
he deserved it.
Fuck Ian, no. He deserved a
vicious beating he'd never forget
and that's exactly
what we gave him
but then you went too
fucking far, man.
I don't give a fuck!
Rapists deserve to die.
All of them!
You know my sister was raped
at a fucking house party
in Port Alberni last year.
Yeah, I know.
Well, what are we going to do?
We gotta get him to a
hospital or something.
Maybe he's still alive.
He could be resuscitated.
Joey, he's not breathing.
He's dead.
You can check his
fucking pulse, man.
You're not a
fucking doctor, man.
We need to get him to a hospital
or call a fucking ambulance.
That's not going
to happen, Joey.
There's no cell phone
reception here
and the closest hospital
is an hour away
and we're not bringing in
a dead body beat to shit
we'd get arrested in five
seconds.
So, what should we do?
We bury the body and get
the fuck out of here.
We're actually going to
do this?
We don't have a
fucking choice, Joey.
Fuck it. Ian's right.
If we take him in we'll be
charged with murder
manslaughter at the very
least.
Maybe with our story we
won't do any jail time
but you better believe that I'm not
spending the next five years of my life
in a fucking court case.
Let's bury him, let's pack
up our shit,
let's get the fuck out of
here
and never come back to this
fucking place ever again.
Alright. Let's take him into
the woods.
Yeah, let's bury him in
that cave by the beach
the ground will be soft
enough so we can dig
with the camping shovel
and just our bare hands.
We can dig a fucking grave.
Fuck man, I'm fucking
tripping high on mushrooms
I can't handle this shit right
fucking now
my heart's beating faster
than a fucking freight train!
Joey, chill the fuck out.
Just take some deep breaths.
We just have to carry his
body into the cave
it's not that far. Let's just
get it done.
Alright man, alright.
I'll fucking try.
I'll grab the camping
shovel and a lantern
and I'll meet you guys down
there in a little bit, okay?
Let's fucking do this.
Hey, are you alright?
Does it look like she's
fucking alright Quinn?
Lacey, just listen.
So, we were beating up Dean
pretty hard but not too bad
then all of a sudden he starts
twitching out, seizuring,
foaming at the mouth, I
don't know
he might of had a brain
hemorrhage. I don't know
but he's dead.
What?
Yeah, he's fucking dead.
Good. He was a fucking asshole.
I would have killed him myself.
We're gonna go
bury him right now.
Then we're going
to pack up our stuff
and we're going to get the
the fuck out of here.
When you're ready can you
guys start packing up?
Okay. Just give us some
time here, alright?
Okay. We'll be back.
Watch out there's a log there.
I told Lacey and Jen happened.
Did they freak out?
Not really. Jen's
still in shock.
They didn't have too much
fucking sympathy for him.
Do you think anyone will
find the body here?
I mean, it's not
that hard to dig up.
If we had some bleach we could
get rid of most of the remains
but this is the best we can do for
now. We just gotta fucking try it.
Yeah, but they have dogs that are
trained to sniff out corpses.
No one is going to find
out what happened.
Therefore, nobody is going to be
looking for a fucking dead body
buried near the beach.
If they do go searching for
him
they're going to be looking for
someone lost deep in the woods
or fucking drown in the ocean.
It's happened before. Some
teenagers get wasted
while they're camping and one
of them wonders off
and gets lost in the woods.
Yeah, but it wasn't some
drunk ass teen from the city
it was a rugged Australian
who knows the outdoors.
All the more reason for him to
go exploring deep in the woods
Fuck it! This is what we're
gonna do
we don't know anything
about what happened
we were asleep.
Fucker!
Fuck!
Fuck!
There's Donnie and Chase coming
down the beach right now.
You guys just pop in the
tent and I'll talk to them.
Lacey, Jen, you guys just stay in
the tent for a couple minutes.
Wakey, wakey, hands off
snakey!
Come on Deano! Get up
you little fucker.
Hey, what's up guys?
There he is. You're not looking
too prime today Quinn. Hungover?
Yeah man, not feeling too
good. That's for sure.
Hey mate. Where's
Deano sleeping?
He's not back at
your guys' campsite?
Because he stumbled off around
2AM when we were all passing out.
He must have passed
out on the way back.
What a nob!
Haha, what a moron.
I stayed up all night.
I'm still fucking hammered.
But actually we're gonna
head out today
because Lacey ended up
getting really sick
off the shrooms.
So, we're just going to
pack up and get outta here.
That's too bad.
We had a great night last
night didn't we?
Yeah, it was good times
for sure.
Well, in a few days we'll be heading
up to Tofino for a couple weeks.
You guys should come
and meet us.
Yeah, that's cool. Well we'll
know where to find you guys
just right on the beach, right?
Alright, see you later.
Take it easy. See you
later guys.
XO XO. Gossip Girl.
Okay man. Later dude.
See ya.
Holy fuck.
Fucking shit.
That sounded like it went
over well.
They didn't seem too surprised that Dean
might have wondered off and passed out.
K, lets finish packing up. The
sooner we leave here the better
I can't believe that actually
happened last night.
It did Joey. So let's just focus on
what needs to get done right now
and try not to freak out.
One more trip with the gear
and we should be good to go.
Alright.
Hey!
What's up, Donnie?
You guys havn't seen Dean
walking about have you?
He never made it back
to your guys' campsite?
Nah, the fucker's still M.I.A.
We don't know where he is.
We looked over the entire beach.
We just went through the
trail to load up our van
and we didn't see him.
Something's up. We're starting
to sketch out a bit.
He always wakes up to surf
no matter how shit-faced
he was the night before.
Yeah, that's weird.
You guys don't mind looking
through the woods with us
before you go, do you?
Yeah, we could help you
out for a bit.
Of course.
Yeah, alright. Thank you.
Deano!
Dean!
Where are you, fucker?
Deano!
Dean!
Dean!
Deano!
Dean!
What?
I can't handle this.
We need to leave right now.
This is too crazy.
I know. Let's just pretend to
search for a few more minutes
and then we'll bail.
Where the hell
have you guys been?
We ran into Donnie on the trail.
They've been looking for
Dean all morning
so we pretended to help
search for a bit.
It's good actually. There's
now way that they'll suspect
that we had anything
to do with it.
I need to get away from
this fucking stupid place.
I'm gonna have a panic attack.
K, let's pack up the rest
of the gear and let's go.
Who's Chase talking to?
Fuck!
Fuck. He's talking to a
Ranger!
Fuck, Joey. You wrote down
our license plate number
when you registered to
camp. Didn't you?
Yeah, I did.
Shit!
Fuck, Quinn. Who cares?
Listen. It's the first thing
they're going to reference
if they call the R.C.M.P. and
do a full out search for Dean.
They're going to contact
everyone who was camping
here this weekend. They have
our license plate number
it'll take them five seconds
to find us.
Quinn, it doesn't matter. We
wont tell them anything.
Ian, think about it.
Trained R.C.M.P investigators
seperately asking us all a shit
load of detailed questions.
Fuck. Are we all really that
good at lying?
They're gonna know
something's up.
Alright, fuck!
Let's try to stall them.
So, can you tell me how long
this guy has been missing?
Well, he didn't come back
last night.
He was pretty drunk. But we've
been searching all morning
and we haven't been able
to find him.
Do you know who last person
was who saw him
before he disappeared?
Actually it was these guys.
Hey, we found him.
We found Dean.
You did? Where was he?
He was passed out in the
woods just like we thought.
What a moron. Sir,
I'm sorry about this.
It sounds like you guys had a pretty
wild and crazy night last night.
Yeah, we did.
I wouldn't have minded being
out there with you guys
but on a serious side,
just keep in mind
we've had several
sightings of bears
in the last couple weeks.
So, no matter how messed
up you guys get
or how drunk you get, don't
go into the woods at night.
For sure.
Alright? Especially not like
your buddy did.
If you go out in there you
could end up as bear fodder.
No problem. Thanks for the
warning.
Okay, it's fine. Just remember
to take all your stuff with you
don't leave anything lying
around. Take it out with you.
If the bears get a sniff of that
they'll be coming around.
Alright, have a good one.
See you later.
What a fucking nob Deano is.
Can you imagine if they'd brought the
whole search and rescue team out?
Yeah.
Alright. Where's that
bastard, Deano?
I don't know. He might have just
gone off with Donnie, I think.
Why don't you just tell him?
What the fuck are you
talking about?
Why don't you just tell him
what the fuck happened.
He's gonna find out when
Donnie gets back anyway.
What the fuck are you two
on about?
Okay, what the fuck is
going on here?
The truth is...
We haven't found Dean yet.
So, you lied to the Ranger.
What the fuck are you thinking?
You think this is some
sort of fucking joke?
I'm sorry bro. I just did a shit
load of mushrooms last night.
Our brains are fucking fried.
Like, I think I'm still fucking
high right now.
I don't know what's going on
with you two at the moment
you're acting pretty fucking
weird.
But I'm starting to get really
fuckin' pissed off.
We saw you talking with the
Ranger and I just got paranoid
that he was going to bust us
for the weed and the shrooms
Like, I don't even know what's
going on right now
I apologize, I sincerely
apologize.
I don't know why we
said that.
We'll all calm down,
we'll find him.
Yeah, well I guess so.
Dean's gotta be around
here somewhere. Right?
Well, what the fuck is
this?
Alright. I wanna know what's
going on right now.
This is Dean's sandal.
There's blood all over it. There
is blood all over the rocks here
You better tell me what's going
on right now
or I'm gonna fucking lose it.
Just tell him.
I don't even know how to
tell you this man.
Dean is fucking dead.
Are you fucking with me?
No. Actually we're not
fucking with you.
He tried to rape
Jen, last night.
He was a piece of shit
and he deserved it.
You are not fucking serious.
Yeah, we are fucking serious. We had
to pull him off Jen last night.
We knocked him around a bit. Gave
him some punches to the head
and then all of a sudden he
started twitching out.
Out of fucking nowhere.
He must have had a hemmorhage or
an aneurysm from the head trauma
I don't know.
But there was nothing
we could do about it.
There's nothing you could do.
There's nothing anyone could do.
Are you guys
fucking bent in the head?
I've known Deano my whole
life. He's my fucking cousin.
He would never
fucking hurt anyone.
Maybe this bitch is lying.
Okay, okay. So if he's dead,
show me his fucking body.
Roll his fuckin' body out here.
We took him into the woods
and we buried him.
You buried...
you buried him?
You fucking buried him?
You're telling me...
that you killed my fucking cousin
because of this fucking cunt?
Fuck! Fuck!
Maybe you don't know who
you're dealing with!
Maybe you don't know who
you're fucking with!
So, listen up kiddies.
This is how this is gonna
play out.
You're gonna tell me exactly
what fucking happened
and he'd better be alright.
So fucking help me!
Because if he isn't I'm gonna
take this little cunt's head
and crack his fucking skull
open like a coconut.
Yes! And fucking rip your
scalp off!
With my fucking hands and the blood
of my fucking cousin's hands!
How many times do
I have to tell you?
You're cousin is dead.
What the fuck? Quinn!
Fuck!
What the fuck?
Get the fuck off of him!
Yes, yes
We need to have a little talk.
Where are you going,
Donnie?
I just wanted to talk to you!
Donnie! Where the fuck is
Ian? What the fuck happened?
That fucker's completely mental!
He just chased me with an axe!
Where is Ian?
He's in the parking lot.
He's trying to kill me.
I saw him chop up Chase!
He's not trying to fucking
kill you man.
Just go back to the site. I'll
fucking try to find Ian and
chill him out.
Fuck!
Ian!
Ian.
Ian!
Ian!
Fucking hell.
Fucking hell.
Donnie. That's what
happened, alright?
There's nothing we can do
about it now
we all just have to fucking
move on with our lives.
He's a fucking nutter.
He's completely lost the plot.
I can't find Ian, man. I don't
know where he went.
He's coming back.
Right now we need to deal
with Chase's body
before someone comes by
and sees it.
What are we going to do
with it?
I'm not digging another grave.
We're going to sink it in
the river.
Donnie, we're gonna
need your help carrying the body
Fuck that man! I'm not doing it.
Either you help us out or
your on your own.
You can try to leave and deal
with Ian all by yourself again
or you can just help us
carry the fucking body
and get this over with. Those
are the options.
Fuck.
Fucker.
I heard you out there.
What do I got out there?
A little grizzy bear?
I can hear you.
Come on out.
So, can we go home yet
or what?
Well, has Ian come
yet? I don't fucking see him.
We can't just leave him.
I don't fucking care. I'm
leaving right now.
I don't care if I have to walk
up to the hi-way and hitch hike
me and Jen are going
right now!
We don't know where Ian
is Lacey.
I don't fucking care!
We can leave him a tent
and some food
and you can come back
and get him tomorrow
but right now you have to
drive me and Jen home.
Right fucking now!
Lacey, he just killed someone
to save my life.
He saved Jen last night.
We're not fucking leaving
here until he comes back
or until we find him.
Well, he was last seen near
the parking lot
he's gotta be up there
somewhere.
Let's just go up there
and look for him.
Fine.
He's lost it man. He is a
lunatic.
I'm not leaving your guys'
side till I get back to my car.
Ian is trying to kill me!
He's not trying
to kill you, Donnie.
He just went through a
pretty intense ordeal
we fucking all have. He's just
trying to protect his friends.
You don't need to chop someone's
head off to protect your friends!
I admit it. He might
have snapped.
Okay? But his sister was raped
last year and it fucking
devastated him. He felt so bad because
he wasn't there to protect her.
He has violence deeply
ingrained in his psyche.
Yeah, he told me his dad used
to hit him when he was younger.
His old man used to hand out
beatings when he was drunk.
To Ian, his brother and his
sister.
But Ian used to let his old man
chase him around the house
to tire him out so that just
he would take the beating
not his brother and his
sister.
Then one day when
he was about thirteen
he was getting chased
around the house
then he just stops, he faces him
and he says "Let's go,
let's go right now"
and his dad just
looks at him, stops,
turns around and walks away.
From then on their old man never laid a
finger on him or any of his siblings.
He'll use violence to protect
who he loves
that's just the way he is.
So, I don't know if he's snapped
or if he's gone totally
fucking crazy. But we are not
leaving here without him.
Alright. Let's go find him.
Ian!
Ian, it's time to go.
Ian! Where the fuck are you?
He's not here.
Where do you think he is?
He's in the woods.
Fuckin' Ian took my car keys.
Well I guess you're coming
with us to look for him then.
Let's all stick together guys.
No one spread out at any time.
Flashlight.
Joey.
Alright. Let's go.
Ian! Where are you?
Ian?
Ian.
What?
I think I heard something.
I don't hear anything.
But guys lets stick together.
There are wild bears
in these woods, okay?
Just stay close.
Ian!
Ian!
Guys, I see something.
Where?
Right there.
It's a body!
It's the fucking Ranger!
My God!
Ian's done this. I told you
he's gone fucking mental.
Let's get the hell outta here!
We don't know that was Ian. It
could have been a bear attack.
Those are axe wounds.
He's chopped him up just
like he did to Chase.
Why would he do this?
Fuck. I don't know.
Because the Ranger has
our license plate number
Take me back to the van!
Drop me off at the nearest
gas station! I'm on the
next plane back
to fucking England!
Donnie! Just calm the fuck down!
Do you think anybody
will find the body here?
I mean, it's not
that hard to dig up.
If we had some bleach we could
get rid of most of the remains
but this is the best
we can do for now.
We just gotta fucking try it.
Yeah, but they have
dogs that are trained
to sniff out corpses.
Fuck it!
This is what we're going to do.
We don't know anything
about what happened
we were asleep.
DARK COVE
I don't know, Joey
I mean, I'm really tired
I just worked like three
doubles straight.
Listen Rachel. I have to
go on this camping trip
I've asked every fucking server
in this entire restaurant.
Please take my shift tonight.
How come you never take any
shifts for me?
Like that time I wanted to go
to the Lil' Wayne concert
and you wouldn't take my shift.
Whatever.
Just think of the cash.
Section seven
You'll make $120 easy
and I'll throw in another
$20 right now
Yeah? What else are
you offering?
You sleazy little sleuze.
Listen, next time we're both
hammered at a party
I'll go down on you for like
two hours stright.
I'm talking Russian tongue maneuvers
kept secret during the cold war.
I've studied that shit.
I've even got this finger technique
where I tap on your clit in morse code.
My God!
You are such a freak.
Fine. I'll take your stupid
shift.
Yes! Thank you so much.
I love you.
How about a little sneak
preview in the staff bathroom?
Get the fuck outta here!
Come on. Quick moterboat?
Rim job?
Yes!
What up Joey?
Hey, Joey! What's up man?
Check out my new tattoo.
That's fucking sick dude!
Yeah, dude. I just got my
sleeve started on Monday
I'm gonna go back and get some color
touch ups and it'll be done man.
Sweet dude. Well I'm going
camping right now.
I'll catch you later, alright?
Camping? Sick bro.
I wish I could roll with.
Later buddy.
You're a fucking pimp bro.
You're a pimp.
Peace out motherfuckas!
Yo, you got your shift covered?
You know it playa.
Let's roll out.
Yummy.
I hope you girls
aren't vegetarians!
Joey!
Hello, ladies.
Did you guys actually just
sniff each other's fingers?
Hell yeah. It's from
Dazed and Confused.
That doesn't make it okay.
Nice to see you too, Lacey.
Maybe I like to smell all
sorts of things.
Roses and cream!
I like that.
Hello, Joey.
Hello.
Okay, Jen may be single now,
but that doesn't mean that you
can perv on her all weekend.
Whatever.
What's up Ian? It's been a
long time bro
Joey Deezio. My
favorite little Italian.
Are you ready for another
legendary excursion?
You know it. I've been looking
foreward to this shit all year.
Alright everybody. Welcome to
the fourth annual camping trip
Lacey, babe, I know
it's your first time.
But we wont be gentle.
I don't like it gentle!
So hard, so deep,
so far past the clit.
Shut up Joey.
So Jen, now that you're single
that means me and Ian can
"Eiffel Tower" you tonight, right?
My God, Joey.
What do you mean "Eiffel Tower"?
You mean you've never
been to Paris?
No, I've been to the south of
France on a family vacation.
What?
Don't worry, we'll show you
the "Eiffel Tower".
Jen don't listen to them.
It's just immature guy bullshit.
What is it?
What does it mean? Tell me!
If you really wanna know, it's
when you're bent over getting
double teamed by two guys, one
in the front, one in the back,
and they do a straight arm
pointing high five.
Hence, "The Eiffel Tower".
Shotgun mouth!
Yeah, no that is not happening.
I told you. It's disgusting.
Sorry Joey, I can't anyways
I've got a girlfriend.
Yeah, and she's a
prissy Vancouver chick.
She can't handle bush wacking it with some
rough Victoria boys for like three days.
Man, she had to work.
Whatever dude, I'm just sayin'
she's a little prissy.
Every time, you know, we book
something fun to do she bails.
I'm just saying, when it's on
the island.
If it's in Vancouver and it's
convenient she's there.
I'm just saying she's a bit
prissy.
She's... admit she's
a little bit prissy
Fuck you, man.
A little bit prissy?
Like that much?
Yeah, like the size
of your dick much.
You know otherwise. You know
otherwise, okay?
Lacey, back me up.
I am not getting involved
in this conversation.
You know otherwise.
Just admit it.
You big dick bastard.
Yes! See, that's what I'm saying
My dick is like the Kennedy assassination,
the truth always comes out.
What?
The Kennedy assassination?
His cock is actually
very political.
It's, like, liberal with some
conservative tendensies.
All this talk about Quinn's dick is
making me want to pull out mine.
It could come out any moment.
No!
Joey, I think you may be the
horniest person on the planet.
I've thought about it, and I
actually think that if Joey
spent all the time that put
into chasing poon,
all that energy, passion
and enthusiasm.
If he put that into doing something
that was actually productive
he probably would've found
a cure for cancer by now.
Maybe a nobel peace prize.
Or maybe solve the Kennedy
assassination mystery.
Yeah, but you know I would not
nearly be as much fun.
We know Joey, that's why we
love you bro.
You're our own little
poon hound.
Honey, are we almost there?
Just two more hours.
Welcome to Sombrio, babe.
I'm excited.
Finally.
Get me out of this van.
Alright.
That matress is fucking huge!
What kind of sex are you
planning on having this weekend?
Just because we're camping doesn't
mean we can't be comfortable.
Lacey, what have you done to
this guy?
I remember he used to just pass out
in the middle of the hard ground
with all his clothes on.
Sometimes in a pool of his own
vomit like Keith Moon.
I've matured, okay?
I'm a gentleman of leisure.
Let's leave this in there for now.
We'll take it on the second trip.
So, did you guys reserve
a campsite?
No, there aren't any
desgnated sites.
There's a few fire-pits
set up along the beach
but you can pretty much
just camp anywhere you want.
But we still have to pay though.
That's what Joey's doing right now.
Right Joey?
Yeah, yeah. I'm on it homie.
The thing that sucks is that there's
like a ten minute hike down to the beach
so we'll have to make two
trips to get all the gear going
but trust me, it's worth it.
Aren't there any park
rangers supervising?
Not really. I mean they have one or two
guys that come down once in a blue moon
to check on campfires and shit but
we've never seen them around here.
That's why it's such a
good party beach.
Hey, what's your license
plate number?
943 SPK
Sweet.
Didn't you tell me a bunch of hippies
used to live in the woods around here?
Yeah, back in the early 80's a bunch of
hippies moved here and starting squating.
They set up all these crazy elaberate
shacks right on the beach.
Some of them lived here for
over twenty years.
Yeah, some of them had kids
who were born
and until they
were were teenagers.
I actually met one
of them in Australia.
She was a pro surfer 'cause se grew
up on the beach surfing everyday.
So what happened to them?
There was a huge dispute over
the land being a provincial park
so one day like ten years ago the
authorities came and kicked them all off.
Like they lived here. Like they were
pretty much houses these shacks.
That's pretty harsh.
Yeah, it was a big deal. It was on the
cover of the paper for like a week.
Holy shit.
That's it.
My God.
I told you, babe.
Alright. Let's do this.
So Jen, you probably don't
want to talk about it
but I'm glad you came even though
you and Doug just broke up.
It's all good. I needed to get
out and have some fun.
Breakups are the worst. How
long did you guys date again?
Just over two years.
Why did you guys breakup?
I don't know. It was just
time I guess.
I'm finishing school and he's gonna
go traveling for six months.
It was along time coming anyway.
Yeah, dating in your twenties
can be tough.
Everybody's figuring
there lives out
school, traveling, serving,
fuckin' temp jobs.
Nobody has their shit
together.
It's weird because one minute I'll be
loving life and so happy that I'm free
and the next minute I'm listening
to "You'll Think of Me"
and crying all night long.
I love Keith Urban.
"You'll Think of Me" is good.
I'd probably put it in the
top ten best breakup
songs of all time.
What's number one?
"Somebody That I Used
to Know" is up there.
That's up there for sure but the number
one best breakup song of all time
is obviously "You Outta Know"
by Alanis. Boom!
Alanis? I don't
know about that man.
Dude, are you fucking
kidding me bro?
Did you listen to those
lyrics? In a top ten hit.
Housewives are listening
to this shit.
"Would she go down on you
in a theater?"
"Are you thinking of me when
you fuck her?"
That shit is cold blooded son!
And it has a pretty
sick bass line.
I've jammed on it before.
See, Joey Deezio
knows what's up.
That bass line is funky as fuck!
That's Flea
playing bass on that track.
Number one best breakup
song of all time
"You Outta Know" hands down.
Actually yeah, I could see
that. It is a classic.
Honestly Jen, we
all really like Doug
but you could do so much better.
Thank you.
Cheers to Jen.
It's just weird. I haven't
been single in so long.
Like the other day, some
guy asked me for my number
who I wasn't even interested
in and I gave it to him anyway.
I don't know why. I think he made me
feel like I was back in the game.
Last week I was picking up
this chick and my phone died.
So she busted out a pen and
paper old school style.
Which was awesome.
Anyways, she writes down
her number and her first name
and her last name which makes
sense for Facebook.
And normally that amount of
information would suffice.
Right? But no, no. Here's the
thing.
After that she writes down her
email address which is all good
but then she writes down the
name of the restaurant
she works at. And then on top of that
she adds her fucking home address.
What? She writes down the place
that works and her home address?
Yeah.
So, she's like come on over
and I will fuck you.
Let's go!
That's pretty much
your fantasy.
Right?
She must be pretty
desperado.
I did kind of meet her
at a strip club.
God! Always classy
Joey, always classy.
Let's play some "World Cup"
before dinner.
I'm in. Viva Italia!
You suck!
Goal for Canada!
Goala! Goala!
Here I'm open!
Italy for the game winner!
That girl just molested my
ankle with her foot.
I think it might be broken.
Joey get your ass up man. We
know your an Italian
but that doesn't mean you get
to dive like one.
Yellow card for diving!
Joey should have gotten
mulitple yellow cards
for grabbing me and Jen's
asses throughout the game.
Joey's faking. Game on!
It's not exactly Wembley Stadium
but it'll do.
Hey man, do you want to play?
We could do a little three on
three if you want.
I would mate but I've been on
the piss for three days straight
I'd probably fall over if I try
to run about.
On the piss?
Yeah, it means he's been
hammered for three days.
Thanks for that. I've always
wanted a translater.
It's very difficult, this
language barrier.
Are you camping here?
Yeah, with a couple Aussie
fuckers I'm friends with.
There they are. They're all
into surfing and that.
Look at those sorry
bastards Paddling around
in a freezing cold ocean
for a five second ride.
I'm Donnie by the way.
What's up man, I'm Quinn.
This is my girlfriend, Lacey.
Hi.
Those crazy Aussies will
actually be lighting off
a bunch of fireworks at our
campsite later on.
You're all welcome to pop by
for a cheeky beverage or two.
Yeah, that might be cool.
We'll try to roll down.
Alright, I'll catch you later
then.
Cheers!
Alright, see you later.
That guy seems pretty chill.
Like a classic Brit.
I think he's fucking wasted.
The fireworks might be alright.
Yeah, that'll be sweet when
we're on mushrooms.
Babe, are we actually doing
mushrooms tonight?
Yeah babe, of course. It's going
to be fun. It's gonna awesome.
So, do I get my penalty
shot or what?
I have to show you this waterfall
before it gets dark. It's a must see.
Okay. It sounds
pretty cool.
So, big question.
How is Lacey liking the
trip so far?
I'm having a great time.
It's nice to hang out with
Ian.
We've never really spent
that much time together.
It's good to get to
know your best friend.
Although, he does talk about your
cock a bit too much for my liking.
Yeah, it's a little
disconcerting.
I'm not gonna lie.
I don't get to see him too much
anymore since he moved to Vancouver
but me, Joey, Jen and him have all
been best friends since we were ten.
I'm definitely starting to feel
more like one of the group
I know, it's awesome.
Look babe. There it is.
Look at that!
That's amazing!
I can't believe stuff
like that exists here in BC.
It's like National Geographic
style.
Full out. It looks like the
entrance to the bat cave.
So, what I'm thinking is that
I should take some pics of you
in front of the waterfall on
my phone.
Perfect!
You're looking so hot right
now babe.
Nice, work it.
Fuck babe, you are
workin' it. Nice.
I'm not going to lie, I'm
getting a little hard right now.
But I really have to put my shirt
back on because it's fucking cold.
No, no, no. You don't
need to do that.
I'll come warm you up.
Hey guys!
Joey!
What the fuck is going
on here?
Nothing. We're just admiring the
wonders of nature. As you can see.
Sure there buddy. I'd stick around
a rub one out but dinner's ready
you fucking pervs.
We're coming.
Well, I wont be.
Joey, that was a tasty steak.
What did you do to get it
that flavor?
That's a Deezio family
recipe.
That shit's been around
for ages.
Passed down to me from
my "Zio".
I marinated those bad boys in a
secret concoction of herbs and spices
for two whole days.
That was amazing. You'll have to come
over sometime and cook me dinner.
I'll be there.
And you can give me
fellatio for dessert.
Speaking of dessert people.
It's that time.
Mushrooms!
I'm kind of scared. I've only done shrooms
once and I had a horrible experience.
Yeah, that can happen. But this
time you're with chill people.
We'll take care of you if
you start to bum out.
Yeah, last time that we did
shrooms Joey was so fucked up
that he spent all night in his
tent in the fetal position.
Tripping out.
Ahhhhhhh!
Man, that was brutal.
I actually thought I was back
in the womb.
Swimming around in my mom's
juices.
I seriously thought I was
swimming around the little egg.
Trying to poke in there like
a fucking dirty little sperm.
The one that made it but
never made it.
It was really fucked up.
Never again will I brew a
batch of mushroom tea.
That's how you get fucked up.
True. When you brew them in tea it's
hard to tell how much you've consumed
so you can get super fucked up.
Yeah man, it was like this one
time
when I ate way too many
pot brownies.
I actually thought I was dying.
Yeah, like that cop on the internet
who called 911 on himself.
It's because when you digest weed it
metathesizes in your body differently.
It actually releases Eleven
Hydroxy Metabolite
which is four times more
psychoactive than THC.
That's why people get so fucked
up eating pot brownies.
Who are you? You're the same
guy in science class
I was fucking trying to finger
Betsy over here
while you're talking about metabo...
whatever the fuck you're saying.
All these stories are really
comforting.
No, you'll be fine. We're out, here,
we're camping, we're with chill people
It's gonna be all good.
We're not doing pot brownies,
just a little shroomage.
Okay, enough of this hype. Let's
eat some of these bad boys.
Mushrooms! I love mushrooms!
Here just start off with this.
It's all good.
That seems like a lot.
No, that's good. That's less than an
eighth. It'll just get you a little buzz.
Big Ian. Here you go.
Here let's get you a little more.
Look at them stem right there.
Thank you.
Mushrooms, mushrooms,
mushrooms!
Here's a little for Jen.
This batch is particularly
disgusting.
Yeah. These are fucking rancid.
It's just part of the
experience.
It's a love/hate thing.
We should play a drinking
game.
I'm down. Maybe one that
involves stripping.
We should play "I Never".
What's "I Never"?
It's where you say something
crazy that you've done
and if other people have
done it they have to drink.
Fuck that. "I Never" is so
lame.
It's the same thing every
time.
"I've never had sex on a plane,
I've never had sex on a train"
"I've never came all over a girl's
face and had a midgit lick it off"
I've never done that.
I've had sex in an airport
but never on a plane.
Although I have jerked it
on a plane before.
Yeah, I have too. It was on
my flight to Thailand.
That is a long, long flight.
I did it on a flight to Toronto.
You jacked it on a domestic
flight? That's only four hours.
Did you just do it in the
bathroom?
Fuck no. Right in my seat while
the lady beside me was sleeping.
You think that's bad? I jerked
off on a Grayhound bus once.
I was in the washroom givin' when
the bus driver slams on the brakes
just as I was about to unleash
the fury.
I hit the wall and jizz starts
fucking flying everywhere.
My God!
I made a fucking mess of myself.
It was so bad.
I'm ninety percent sure that Joey
played the gimp in Pulp Fiction.
Alright, who needs another
beer?
I'll take one.
Joey, aren't you glad that
you're not working tonight?
I know. Thank God. I'd probably be
serving some Americans right now.
They'd be like. "Sir, this iced
tea is disgusting"
"I want an un-sweetend ice tea with a lemon.
And I'll sweet'n it myself with some Splenda."
Yeah, and how you can tell
they're American is they
always say "I want" or "I'm
gonna have the New York steak"
Canadians are so polite and
always say "May I please have"
But we forgive the Yanks because they're
way better tippers than Canadians
or anyone else for that matter
You really think so?
I agree. Americans always
tip 15 to 20 percent.
Canadians for the most part only
tip 10 to 15 percent.
Exactly. And Canadians need to know
that 10 percent is not a good tip.
It's kind of cool how Americans put alot
of effort into remembering your name
It's like "Hi Quinn. Thank
you very much Quinn"
"Quinn, could I get some more
napkins to wipe my face?"
"I have chicken grease on
my face"
I think the best customers are gay guys.
They're awesome and they tip huge.
True, gay guys are the best
customers.
They appreciate the service, they always
have a good time and they tip very well too.
When I used to serve my best
customers were always the cougars.
Any group of women over 40 on a girl's
night out, I used to work that shit.
I took down a 43 year old one
night.
My God Joey!
I met her at "Hugo's" one night.
She ended up taking me back
to her place
pinches my cheek and says
"You remind me of my son"
Ohhhhh!
Joey, that's disturbing.
That's like some sort of reverse
Edipus complex.
She was probably the most aware
chick I've ever boned
totally down with anything. She would say the
most outrageous shit when I was nailing her.
I was doing her from behind and she
says "Are you enjoying my pussy?"
"Are you enjoying it? Show
my pussy who's boss baby!"
And as she came she thanked me.
She thanked you for making
her cum, like right after?
No, she thanked me while she
was having her orgasm
Yeah, yeah, yeah, THAAAANK
YOOOOUUUU!
On that note, I'm going
to take a piss.
Try not to piss on a cougar
while you're out there.
Fuck, that freak probably
would have loved it
but I'm not into any of that
pissing stuff during sex
that is one line Deezio will
never cross.
Isn't it fucked up that almost all
of us have university degrees
and everyone besides Ian are
waiting tables for a living.
I mean, I just turned 25. When I was
younger I thought I'd be ballin' by now.
Yeah, but look at everyone
else our age that we know
No one's totally successful at
24, 25. It takes time.
Here we go, the conversation is gettting
all in-depth and philosophical.
At least we know the shrooms
have kicked in.
I'm definitely feeling something
For sure, I'm feeling it. That's part
of the reason for doing psycheledelics
is to reveal the truth. The truth
about the world and about yourself.
Yeah Quinn, but sometimes it's hard to face
the truth about yourself and you can bum out
Let's just chill and have a good time.
We don't need to get so intense.
It's all good, I'm chillin'
I'm just saying that the fact that
I busted my ass for four years
to get this seemingly useless
bachelor of arts degree is fucked up
I've had my degree for a year and
I'm looking for a government job
and Ian's not a server anymore. He's articling
for a really good accounting firm in Vancouver.
Yeah, I know. But there's got
to be something more
than just using our degrees to get some stupid
9 to 5, 50 to 60 thousand dollar a year job
that we really don't give a fuck about and we're
just doing it for the money or for our career.
Ever since I was a kid I'm been streamlined
into thinking that you have to get your degree
to be qualified for this certain
amount of jobs that pay more.
And now that I have my degree
it's kind of all bullshit.
I don't know what I want to do.
None of us really know where we're going
to end up or what we're gonna do.
Are we really contemplating the
meaning of life right now?
Let's just chill and have a
good time tonight.
I know what I want to do with
my life.
I want to have sex with one girl
from every country
God.
I've already got Spain, Italy, France,
Ukraine, Poland, India, Russia, Korea, Japan
Thailand, Philippines, Australia South Africa,
Brazil, Jamaica, Costa Rica, Canada, U.S.A.
Mexico and The Federated
States of Micronesia. Boom!
Quinn, maybe that's what you
need to do.
And I don't mean participating in
Joey's warped, sexual Olympics.
But to Travel. Joey and Ian did Southeast
Asia and I went to Europe with my family.
Yeah, traveling does totally
open your mind.
You'll get a whole new
perspective.
That's what I've been trying
to tell him.
He's never left North America. Come
on babe, let's go. Let's just do it.
I think you're right. I'm
finally starting to realize it.
I've beeen stuck in my own Canadian,
warped little view. I need to expand it.
That's my shroom epiphany. I'm going, I'll
save up all summer and we'll just go.
I want to go to Europe. France,
England, Germany, Spain. All that shit.
That's it, we're going.
Shroom epiphany is done.
I just got so fucking high out of nowhere.
It just hit me like a ton of bricks.
Yeah dude, I'm fucking feeling
good.
Feeling frisky.
My God, I can't feel my
earlobes!
Shit!
That looks so cool.
Holy fuck!
The colors are so sharp.
It's Donnie and those crazy
Aussie fuckers he told us about
I've never seen fireworks on
mushrooms man, this is fucking sick!
My God, that's amazing.
My God!
We have to go party with
them. We have to.
I think we need to.
Who's up for a little shroom
adventure?
Yeah man, I'm down. We need a little
mushroom adventure right now.
I can't sit still when I'm on this shit.
I wanna walk the beach and chill.
A little bit of music would
be fucking awesome too man.
I don't know, man. I think we should
just stay here with our own crew.
Come Ian. Grab some road
pops and let's socialize.
It'll be fun, dude. I'll bring
my guitar, let's go.
Come on, it'll be fun.
I just don't really feel like hanging out
with random strangers when I'm tripping.
Come on.
Let's go have a shroom
adventure.
You can't do shrooms without an
adventure. It just doesn't work.
Stick together with the
crew, bro. Let's do it.
Then I blew it,
And then I light a cigarette and
say "What's that on the TV?"
Then she just went mental and
started punching me in the face
and then she punched
my dick!
Who's that?
There they are, the
beach footballers!
Hey, what's up Donnie?
Hey guys.
Welcome, welcome. Have a
seat wherever you like.
What's mine is yours, what's yours
we share. Sit here, there, wherever.
Hey, there's a seat here if
you want.
Thanks.
Hi, I'm Dean.
I'm Jen.
Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you too.
Those fireworks were sick. We weren't
expecting a full out pro display.
You can thank these two gits
for that.
That's Dean. And this beautiful
man here is Chase.
So, where did you guys get
the fireworks?
Me and Deano picked them up when we
were surfing down the Oregon coast
and we smuggled them across
the border.
It's illegal to set them off here but this
is the perfect spot. We'd never get caught.
They looked amazing on
shrooms.
What? You guys are on
muggers?
We tried to find some before
we came up.
Do you have anymore?
No, we just ate them all
an hour ago.
You must be flying right
now.
That would be fun, the old
muggers. Chaser?
Fuck yeah. I'd be up for
tripping on some shroomies.
We brought some weed though. Ian's got
a joint we can spark up if you want.
Nice man. Yeah, Lacey. She's the
one I was telling you about.
She couldn't
understand my accent.
I felt like Liam Gallagher
when Behind the Music.
I saw that, it was hilarious. They had
You think that was bad?
Did you know the first Mad Max movie
was dubbed with American actors?
It's because they thought the Yanks
wouldn't understand the Aussie accents.
That version was horrible.
That is some
strong fucking weed.
That is BC chronic at it's best.
Hey, is that your guitar?
I play quite a bit. Dean does too
but he can't play worth a shit.
Fuck off. I can play a bit
of Nirvana.
Yeah, and it's bloody shocking. Kurt
would be rolling over in his grave.
So are you guys hiking or
surfing?
Neither, we're just partying
and camping.
We do it every year.
That's cool. Most people that come by
here are hiking the Juan de Fuca trail.
We've met a few surfers too but
they're mostly pretty rubbish.
Are you guys like pro
surfers or something?
We're pretty good. We both used
to compete when we were younger
but now we just
surf for pleasure.
I've always wanted
to try surfing
but I'm waiting till I'm
somewhere warm like Hawaii
it's just too cold around here.
That's what wet suits are for.
If you want, tomorrow I could
show you a few basics.
You can surf the shallow white
wash, it's really safe and easy.
We brought up an extra
board and wet suit.
Come on, I'll show you.
I could play you a little tune.
So this is where
we keep our gear.
The small board is Chase's,
the big one's mine.
The wetsuits. And we've got an extra
board and wetsuit in the car for Donnie
but let's be honest, he's a lazy fucker
and he's never goning to use it.
If you want to try it out
tomorrow you can.
Really? That would be
awesome.
Some of the other guys
might want to try too.
So, do you guys surf a ton
of big waves in Australia?
Sometimes, we used to surf
quite a bit on the south coast
but riding big waves
you can get hurt alot.
But aren't there a
ton of great whites?
Yeah, but that's half the fun.
You're crazy.
So, what do you guys do just travel
around surfing on an endless summer?
Kind of. We both snowboard too. We spent the
winter working at a ski resort in Banff
but visas ran out so we're
kind of here illegally now
But we can't really work so we're
just bumming around a bit.
What do you do?
I just graduated with a
degree in econonomics.
I'm looking for a real job now but I kind
of want to travel before I'm locked down.
I've been to Europe but I've
always wanted to go to Australia.
You should definitely go
to Australia.
It's a really beautiful place.
I know that in North America everyone
thinks it's just outback and beaches
but in the urban areas it's actually a
really sophisticated modern society.
So, we should probably
get back
but I'm really excited for you to
teach me how to surf tomorrow.
Yeah, it's gonna be fun.
That was sick, dude!
Here you go, Quinn. Let's
have a tune.
What are you going play?
You should play "I
Just Wanna Go Home"
Yeah, we could.
What's that song?
You'll love it. They wrote it
themselves.
It even mentions Brits and
Australians in it.
An original. Perfect.
Let's hear it.
This is a song that we usually do on
the last day of camping and partying
because we're so burnt out.
It's perfect for that but we'll
play it for you now just for fun.
One more time.
Alright guys, that was fun but I
think we're just going to crash out
Yeah, definitely bed time.
I'm crashing too, man.
Goodnight guys.
Goodnight Lacey.
Goodnight Jen.
Yeah!
Joey, what are you doing?
I love mushrooms. I love
mushrooms, baby!
My God.
Yeah, Jen and Deano. Take this
shit back to Australia, baby!
I'm done. I don't even think I have
enough energy to jerk off tonight.
I'm going to bed.
Yeah, must be from all that
dancing about you did.
You might have to show me some
of those moves you got mate.
Hell, no! Those are mine.
I keep secrets.
Goodnight, Joey.
Alright. Goodnight, guys.
Goodnight, mate.
Funny guy.
Yeah.
So, is that your tent
over there?
Maybe.
I can't.
What's wrong?
I broke up with my boyfriend
of two years
and I'm still not ready.
Yeah, I know what it's like.
It's all good.
Could I have one more kiss?
Just a little one?
Dean. I said I can't.
Dean.
I said no.
I said no.
Why don't you shut the fuck up?
Fucking bitch!
You mother fucking piece
of shit!
What the fuck were you
trying to do? Mother fucker?
Alright man, he's had enough!
He's pretty fucked up.
Fuck this Aussie
piece of shit! Rapist fuck!
Can you believe that he tried to pull
that shit off at our own campsite?
You just got fucked up!
You hear me?
You got something to
say you little bitch?
I'm sorry.
What did you say, mother
fucker? What'd you say?
I'm sorry.
Bullshit!
Shit! What the fuck?
Holy shit.
What the fuck was that?
Holy shit. His heart's not
fucking beating.
I think he's fucking dead.
Good.
What?
I said good. Fuck him,
he deserved it.
Fuck Ian, no. He deserved a
vicious beating he'd never forget
and that's exactly
what we gave him
but then you went too
fucking far, man.
I don't give a fuck!
Rapists deserve to die.
All of them!
You know my sister was raped
at a fucking house party
in Port Alberni last year.
Yeah, I know.
Well, what are we going to do?
We gotta get him to a
hospital or something.
Maybe he's still alive.
He could be resuscitated.
Joey, he's not breathing.
He's dead.
You can check his
fucking pulse, man.
You're not a
fucking doctor, man.
We need to get him to a hospital
or call a fucking ambulance.
That's not going
to happen, Joey.
There's no cell phone
reception here
and the closest hospital
is an hour away
and we're not bringing in
a dead body beat to shit
we'd get arrested in five
seconds.
So, what should we do?
We bury the body and get
the fuck out of here.
We're actually going to
do this?
We don't have a
fucking choice, Joey.
Fuck it. Ian's right.
If we take him in we'll be
charged with murder
manslaughter at the very
least.
Maybe with our story we
won't do any jail time
but you better believe that I'm not
spending the next five years of my life
in a fucking court case.
Let's bury him, let's pack
up our shit,
let's get the fuck out of
here
and never come back to this
fucking place ever again.
Alright. Let's take him into
the woods.
Yeah, let's bury him in
that cave by the beach
the ground will be soft
enough so we can dig
with the camping shovel
and just our bare hands.
We can dig a fucking grave.
Fuck man, I'm fucking
tripping high on mushrooms
I can't handle this shit right
fucking now
my heart's beating faster
than a fucking freight train!
Joey, chill the fuck out.
Just take some deep breaths.
We just have to carry his
body into the cave
it's not that far. Let's just
get it done.
Alright man, alright.
I'll fucking try.
I'll grab the camping
shovel and a lantern
and I'll meet you guys down
there in a little bit, okay?
Let's fucking do this.
Hey, are you alright?
Does it look like she's
fucking alright Quinn?
Lacey, just listen.
So, we were beating up Dean
pretty hard but not too bad
then all of a sudden he starts
twitching out, seizuring,
foaming at the mouth, I
don't know
he might of had a brain
hemorrhage. I don't know
but he's dead.
What?
Yeah, he's fucking dead.
Good. He was a fucking asshole.
I would have killed him myself.
We're gonna go
bury him right now.
Then we're going
to pack up our stuff
and we're going to get the
the fuck out of here.
When you're ready can you
guys start packing up?
Okay. Just give us some
time here, alright?
Okay. We'll be back.
Watch out there's a log there.
I told Lacey and Jen happened.
Did they freak out?
Not really. Jen's
still in shock.
They didn't have too much
fucking sympathy for him.
Do you think anyone will
find the body here?
I mean, it's not
that hard to dig up.
If we had some bleach we could
get rid of most of the remains
but this is the best we can do for
now. We just gotta fucking try it.
Yeah, but they have dogs that are
trained to sniff out corpses.
No one is going to find
out what happened.
Therefore, nobody is going to be
looking for a fucking dead body
buried near the beach.
If they do go searching for
him
they're going to be looking for
someone lost deep in the woods
or fucking drown in the ocean.
It's happened before. Some
teenagers get wasted
while they're camping and one
of them wonders off
and gets lost in the woods.
Yeah, but it wasn't some
drunk ass teen from the city
it was a rugged Australian
who knows the outdoors.
All the more reason for him to
go exploring deep in the woods
Fuck it! This is what we're
gonna do
we don't know anything
about what happened
we were asleep.
Fucker!
Fuck!
Fuck!
There's Donnie and Chase coming
down the beach right now.
You guys just pop in the
tent and I'll talk to them.
Lacey, Jen, you guys just stay in
the tent for a couple minutes.
Wakey, wakey, hands off
snakey!
Come on Deano! Get up
you little fucker.
Hey, what's up guys?
There he is. You're not looking
too prime today Quinn. Hungover?
Yeah man, not feeling too
good. That's for sure.
Hey mate. Where's
Deano sleeping?
He's not back at
your guys' campsite?
Because he stumbled off around
2AM when we were all passing out.
He must have passed
out on the way back.
What a nob!
Haha, what a moron.
I stayed up all night.
I'm still fucking hammered.
But actually we're gonna
head out today
because Lacey ended up
getting really sick
off the shrooms.
So, we're just going to
pack up and get outta here.
That's too bad.
We had a great night last
night didn't we?
Yeah, it was good times
for sure.
Well, in a few days we'll be heading
up to Tofino for a couple weeks.
You guys should come
and meet us.
Yeah, that's cool. Well we'll
know where to find you guys
just right on the beach, right?
Alright, see you later.
Take it easy. See you
later guys.
XO XO. Gossip Girl.
Okay man. Later dude.
See ya.
Holy fuck.
Fucking shit.
That sounded like it went
over well.
They didn't seem too surprised that Dean
might have wondered off and passed out.
K, lets finish packing up. The
sooner we leave here the better
I can't believe that actually
happened last night.
It did Joey. So let's just focus on
what needs to get done right now
and try not to freak out.
One more trip with the gear
and we should be good to go.
Alright.
Hey!
What's up, Donnie?
You guys havn't seen Dean
walking about have you?
He never made it back
to your guys' campsite?
Nah, the fucker's still M.I.A.
We don't know where he is.
We looked over the entire beach.
We just went through the
trail to load up our van
and we didn't see him.
Something's up. We're starting
to sketch out a bit.
He always wakes up to surf
no matter how shit-faced
he was the night before.
Yeah, that's weird.
You guys don't mind looking
through the woods with us
before you go, do you?
Yeah, we could help you
out for a bit.
Of course.
Yeah, alright. Thank you.
Deano!
Dean!
Where are you, fucker?
Deano!
Dean!
Dean!
Deano!
Dean!
What?
I can't handle this.
We need to leave right now.
This is too crazy.
I know. Let's just pretend to
search for a few more minutes
and then we'll bail.
Where the hell
have you guys been?
We ran into Donnie on the trail.
They've been looking for
Dean all morning
so we pretended to help
search for a bit.
It's good actually. There's
now way that they'll suspect
that we had anything
to do with it.
I need to get away from
this fucking stupid place.
I'm gonna have a panic attack.
K, let's pack up the rest
of the gear and let's go.
Who's Chase talking to?
Fuck!
Fuck. He's talking to a
Ranger!
Fuck, Joey. You wrote down
our license plate number
when you registered to
camp. Didn't you?
Yeah, I did.
Shit!
Fuck, Quinn. Who cares?
Listen. It's the first thing
they're going to reference
if they call the R.C.M.P. and
do a full out search for Dean.
They're going to contact
everyone who was camping
here this weekend. They have
our license plate number
it'll take them five seconds
to find us.
Quinn, it doesn't matter. We
wont tell them anything.
Ian, think about it.
Trained R.C.M.P investigators
seperately asking us all a shit
load of detailed questions.
Fuck. Are we all really that
good at lying?
They're gonna know
something's up.
Alright, fuck!
Let's try to stall them.
So, can you tell me how long
this guy has been missing?
Well, he didn't come back
last night.
He was pretty drunk. But we've
been searching all morning
and we haven't been able
to find him.
Do you know who last person
was who saw him
before he disappeared?
Actually it was these guys.
Hey, we found him.
We found Dean.
You did? Where was he?
He was passed out in the
woods just like we thought.
What a moron. Sir,
I'm sorry about this.
It sounds like you guys had a pretty
wild and crazy night last night.
Yeah, we did.
I wouldn't have minded being
out there with you guys
but on a serious side,
just keep in mind
we've had several
sightings of bears
in the last couple weeks.
So, no matter how messed
up you guys get
or how drunk you get, don't
go into the woods at night.
For sure.
Alright? Especially not like
your buddy did.
If you go out in there you
could end up as bear fodder.
No problem. Thanks for the
warning.
Okay, it's fine. Just remember
to take all your stuff with you
don't leave anything lying
around. Take it out with you.
If the bears get a sniff of that
they'll be coming around.
Alright, have a good one.
See you later.
What a fucking nob Deano is.
Can you imagine if they'd brought the
whole search and rescue team out?
Yeah.
Alright. Where's that
bastard, Deano?
I don't know. He might have just
gone off with Donnie, I think.
Why don't you just tell him?
What the fuck are you
talking about?
Why don't you just tell him
what the fuck happened.
He's gonna find out when
Donnie gets back anyway.
What the fuck are you two
on about?
Okay, what the fuck is
going on here?
The truth is...
We haven't found Dean yet.
So, you lied to the Ranger.
What the fuck are you thinking?
You think this is some
sort of fucking joke?
I'm sorry bro. I just did a shit
load of mushrooms last night.
Our brains are fucking fried.
Like, I think I'm still fucking
high right now.
I don't know what's going on
with you two at the moment
you're acting pretty fucking
weird.
But I'm starting to get really
fuckin' pissed off.
We saw you talking with the
Ranger and I just got paranoid
that he was going to bust us
for the weed and the shrooms
Like, I don't even know what's
going on right now
I apologize, I sincerely
apologize.
I don't know why we
said that.
We'll all calm down,
we'll find him.
Yeah, well I guess so.
Dean's gotta be around
here somewhere. Right?
Well, what the fuck is
this?
Alright. I wanna know what's
going on right now.
This is Dean's sandal.
There's blood all over it. There
is blood all over the rocks here
You better tell me what's going
on right now
or I'm gonna fucking lose it.
Just tell him.
I don't even know how to
tell you this man.
Dean is fucking dead.
Are you fucking with me?
No. Actually we're not
fucking with you.
He tried to rape
Jen, last night.
He was a piece of shit
and he deserved it.
You are not fucking serious.
Yeah, we are fucking serious. We had
to pull him off Jen last night.
We knocked him around a bit. Gave
him some punches to the head
and then all of a sudden he
started twitching out.
Out of fucking nowhere.
He must have had a hemmorhage or
an aneurysm from the head trauma
I don't know.
But there was nothing
we could do about it.
There's nothing you could do.
There's nothing anyone could do.
Are you guys
fucking bent in the head?
I've known Deano my whole
life. He's my fucking cousin.
He would never
fucking hurt anyone.
Maybe this bitch is lying.
Okay, okay. So if he's dead,
show me his fucking body.
Roll his fuckin' body out here.
We took him into the woods
and we buried him.
You buried...
you buried him?
You fucking buried him?
You're telling me...
that you killed my fucking cousin
because of this fucking cunt?
Fuck! Fuck!
Maybe you don't know who
you're dealing with!
Maybe you don't know who
you're fucking with!
So, listen up kiddies.
This is how this is gonna
play out.
You're gonna tell me exactly
what fucking happened
and he'd better be alright.
So fucking help me!
Because if he isn't I'm gonna
take this little cunt's head
and crack his fucking skull
open like a coconut.
Yes! And fucking rip your
scalp off!
With my fucking hands and the blood
of my fucking cousin's hands!
How many times do
I have to tell you?
You're cousin is dead.
What the fuck? Quinn!
Fuck!
What the fuck?
Get the fuck off of him!
Yes, yes
We need to have a little talk.
Where are you going,
Donnie?
I just wanted to talk to you!
Donnie! Where the fuck is
Ian? What the fuck happened?
That fucker's completely mental!
He just chased me with an axe!
Where is Ian?
He's in the parking lot.
He's trying to kill me.
I saw him chop up Chase!
He's not trying to fucking
kill you man.
Just go back to the site. I'll
fucking try to find Ian and
chill him out.
Fuck!
Ian!
Ian.
Ian!
Ian!
Fucking hell.
Fucking hell.
Donnie. That's what
happened, alright?
There's nothing we can do
about it now
we all just have to fucking
move on with our lives.
He's a fucking nutter.
He's completely lost the plot.
I can't find Ian, man. I don't
know where he went.
He's coming back.
Right now we need to deal
with Chase's body
before someone comes by
and sees it.
What are we going to do
with it?
I'm not digging another grave.
We're going to sink it in
the river.
Donnie, we're gonna
need your help carrying the body
Fuck that man! I'm not doing it.
Either you help us out or
your on your own.
You can try to leave and deal
with Ian all by yourself again
or you can just help us
carry the fucking body
and get this over with. Those
are the options.
Fuck.
Fucker.
I heard you out there.
What do I got out there?
A little grizzy bear?
I can hear you.
Come on out.
So, can we go home yet
or what?
Well, has Ian come
yet? I don't fucking see him.
We can't just leave him.
I don't fucking care. I'm
leaving right now.
I don't care if I have to walk
up to the hi-way and hitch hike
me and Jen are going
right now!
We don't know where Ian
is Lacey.
I don't fucking care!
We can leave him a tent
and some food
and you can come back
and get him tomorrow
but right now you have to
drive me and Jen home.
Right fucking now!
Lacey, he just killed someone
to save my life.
He saved Jen last night.
We're not fucking leaving
here until he comes back
or until we find him.
Well, he was last seen near
the parking lot
he's gotta be up there
somewhere.
Let's just go up there
and look for him.
Fine.
He's lost it man. He is a
lunatic.
I'm not leaving your guys'
side till I get back to my car.
Ian is trying to kill me!
He's not trying
to kill you, Donnie.
He just went through a
pretty intense ordeal
we fucking all have. He's just
trying to protect his friends.
You don't need to chop someone's
head off to protect your friends!
I admit it. He might
have snapped.
Okay? But his sister was raped
last year and it fucking
devastated him. He felt so bad because
he wasn't there to protect her.
He has violence deeply
ingrained in his psyche.
Yeah, he told me his dad used
to hit him when he was younger.
His old man used to hand out
beatings when he was drunk.
To Ian, his brother and his
sister.
But Ian used to let his old man
chase him around the house
to tire him out so that just
he would take the beating
not his brother and his
sister.
Then one day when
he was about thirteen
he was getting chased
around the house
then he just stops, he faces him
and he says "Let's go,
let's go right now"
and his dad just
looks at him, stops,
turns around and walks away.
From then on their old man never laid a
finger on him or any of his siblings.
He'll use violence to protect
who he loves
that's just the way he is.
So, I don't know if he's snapped
or if he's gone totally
fucking crazy. But we are not
leaving here without him.
Alright. Let's go find him.
Ian!
Ian, it's time to go.
Ian! Where the fuck are you?
He's not here.
Where do you think he is?
He's in the woods.
Fuckin' Ian took my car keys.
Well I guess you're coming
with us to look for him then.
Let's all stick together guys.
No one spread out at any time.
Flashlight.
Joey.
Alright. Let's go.
Ian! Where are you?
Ian?
Ian.
What?
I think I heard something.
I don't hear anything.
But guys lets stick together.
There are wild bears
in these woods, okay?
Just stay close.
Ian!
Ian!
Guys, I see something.
Where?
Right there.
It's a body!
It's the fucking Ranger!
My God!
Ian's done this. I told you
he's gone fucking mental.
Let's get the hell outta here!
We don't know that was Ian. It
could have been a bear attack.
Those are axe wounds.
He's chopped him up just
like he did to Chase.
Why would he do this?
Fuck. I don't know.
Because the Ranger has
our license plate number
Take me back to the van!
Drop me off at the nearest
gas station! I'm on the
next plane back
to fucking England!
Donnie! Just calm the fuck down!