Dark Match (2024) Movie Script
[eerie music]
[muffled cries]
[eerie tones]
[grunting]
Five deaths in the ring.
That is the thing.
[ominous music]
Raise a little hell
Raise a little hell
Raise a little hell
[audience cheering]
Raise a little hell
Raise a little hell
Raise a little hell
If you don't like
[muffled cheers and music]
Miss Behave, you're up.
Miss!
I heard you.
Break a leg.
Raise a little hell
Raise a little hell
Raise a little hell
Raise a little hell
Raise a little hell
Raise a little hell
If you don't
like what you see
[cheering]
If you know there's
something wrong
Why don't you right it?
[booing]
[chain clinking]
Boo.
[spits]
Comes down
to your thinking
And it's really
not too late
Boo!
Welcome back to SAW Wrestling.
We've got quite the
lineup for you tonight.
I'm Rusty Beans.
Check it out.
First up, it's a tag team.
Number 11, Beast Brothers,
tear into Thick and Thin,
those obnoxious,
Bible-thumping hooligans.
It's animal instinct
versus religion,
a tale as old as time.
[grunting]
[smashing]
Ooh!
I'm so damn...
Humble!
Next up, Kid Humble.
[grunting]
Enter Enigma Jones,
the mute masked menace.
Why has Enigma taken
a vow of silence?
Some say it's a respect
for the craft of wrestling,
and some of the ladies
say it's because he's shy.
Oh!
Oh!
Whoa!
Ah!
Ah!
Next, the most
heated rivalry in SAW,
the hero, Lazarus Smashley...
I love you, Lazarus!
I love you, too, baby.
... versus the hated
heel, Mean Joe Lean!
Oh!
Joe Lean's got him in his
classic, the Joe Lean cuisine.
Ah!
[CHANTING] Kate the Great!
No code is complete
without a ladies' match.
Prairie-grown sweetheart
Kate the Great faces off
against the woman
you love to hate,
Trinidadian trickster
Miss Behave.
[bell dinging]
[cheering, applause]
[panting] Nice.
Thanks, DDT.
Make it pretty.
I got a special
fan here tonight.
A talent scout from
the big leagues.
[cheering]
[grunting]
[smashing]
That's why they call her Kate,
and that is why she's great.
She came out of nowhere and
shot straight to the top.
Miss Behave...
Woo!
... on the other hand,
is going nowhere.
[laughs]
She's fueled by rage,
but sorry, Miss, someone's
gotta be the bad guy.
Ah!
Stop screwing around!
[panting]
[slamming]
[booing]
[chain clinking]
Ugh!
Referee, do something!
Do your job!
[groaning]
Stop it!
[grunts]
Did you get that?
[slamming]
You are watching the
modern age of wrestling.
This is 1988.
[grunting]
It's only here on SAW.
Right?
[grunts]
[thumping]
[cheering, bell dinging]
Thanks for making me look good.
[CHANTING] Kate the Great!
Kate the Great!
Kate the Great!
[panting]
[sighs]
[grunting]
What?
What the hell, Nick?
[grunts]
Ooh!
[grunting]
[booing]
Ladies and gentlemen,
that was an epic
battle, one for the ages.
And we will be here again next
week, same time, same channel.
Keep fighting.
[eerie music]
[train horn honking,
phone ringing]
Rusty Beans, head
manager of SAW.
How can I assist you?
[muffled voice on phone]
You're still trying
to explain yourself.
Look, I told you, I got it.
[muffled voice on phone]
We got a great roster right now.
Have you seen Kate the Great?
She's gonna be a star.
[muffled voice on phone]
Listen, make me an offer.
[groaning]
Hey, Nick.
What you're feeling
right now is karma.
She goaded me, Rusty.
Come on.
The League is fining
you half your fee.
What?
The holidays wiped
me out, Rusty.
I need the money.
- All right.
Well, then you
should have thought
of that before you got so
creative with your backhand.
Why would you do that?
Is it 'cause of that scout,
or do you hate Kate that much?
I don't hate Kate.
I don't even know Kate.
Listen, I know you want
to be Snow White, okay?
But somebody's
gotta be the witch.
[laughs] That's a really
interesting choice of words...
Snow White?
Nick, how many years
have you been with me,
and how many women have
you ever seen sling
the belt over their shoulder?
And don't get me wrong.
I know that you would go to
hell and back for a title shot.
But that's a fantasy.
And this is reality.
You know I'm better than this.
It's delusions of grandeur.
Okay?
It's from the concussions.
It'll pass.
Now, things are about to
get real weird in here.
So you can either stay or
you can go unwind the way
you like to.
And I will clean up this mess.
[sniffles] I thought I
handled that very well.
What is going on in there?
I was gonna have to quit.
[laughs] You're obsessed,
not to mention awesome,
at what you do.
You couldn't quit
if you wanted to.
Well, I'm sick
and tired of banging
my head against the wall.
And this league obviously
doesn't want me, so.
They want you, just not how
you want them to want you.
Welcome back to SAW
Royal Rumble, 1979.
Mean Joe Lean is fired up.
But does he have what it takes
to challenge the Prophet?
What a nut job.
I hated that guy.
The followers are giving
the Prophet strength.
Joe's in trouble now.
That's all I want.
At least you had a real rivalry.
Title shot.
Joe's lost the upper hand.
The Prophet's got him
in his crucifix hold.
[snaps fingers]
- Hey.
What?
Should I leave you two alone?
[laughs]
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, hey.
Come on.
I thought you were injured.
Yeah, well, you know us women.
We bounce back fast.
I wonder what your fans
would say if they knew
we were wrestling in the nude.
[laughs]
Well, I tell you.
I tell you, if my fans
had any sense whatsoever,
they would be so jealous.
Ladies and gentlemen,
you are watching SAW,
pro wrestling at its finest.
Mm, seriously?
What?
No, no, no, no.
The Prophet is your chosen one.
Who's the chosen one now, huh?
Who's the chosen one now?
[eerie music]
[phone ringing]
[wind blowing]
[clears throat] Rusty
Beans, head manager of SAW.
How can I assist you?
- Hello again.
I'm calling to repeat my offer.
This again.
Listen, pal, it's like I
said to your associate.
I would love to expand into
your neck of the woods,
but, uh, without a
minimum guaranteed
attendance or a healthy upfront
deposit, it's not feasible.
Well, we'd love to host
your wrestlers
for an evening event
in our town of Shellbrook.
We have the money.
We're willing to pay.
- Okay.
- How much?
- All right.
Well, that would require...
and... and, like, I'm
just spitballing here...
um, family rate, 50K.
That works for us.
But it's gotta be this weekend.
You don't say?
Okay, well, then, allow me to,
uh, speak with my associates,
and, uh, I'll get back to you.
[music stops]
I'm fucking rich.
Fucking rich!
[bell dings]
[echoing]
[ominous music, gasping]
[phone ringing]
Yeah?
Listen, Rusty,
are you firing me?
Wait, how much?
For a dark match?
Hey.
There's my new
favorite wrestler,
Delusions of Grandeur.
Ha.
That's not funny.
Hey, you said you
wanted more money.
I got you more money.
Are you excited?
- Yeah, I'm excited.
- Good.
- Come on, amigo.
- Hey, hey, hey!
It's a rental!
Shit, shit.
How pissed is Kate?
Well, we're getting
paid this weekend.
I mean, I'm sure
she'll get over it.
Hey, I said get gas.
Don't go joyriding.
Come on!
Aw.
Thanks for showing up.
Some of us are freezing
our nuts off here, toots.
Poor baby.
Okay.
Hey, how's your...
Healing.
Yeah, um, I'm really sorry.
I...
- Nick, it's fine.
I'm used to hits to the face.
I just prefer them
to be by accident.
Okay.
This thing's good.
You guys good?
Why don't you have
a little smooch?
We can use that as an angle.
Cut, go.
Could you not?
Hey.
We're good.
- Good?
- Good, okay.
Faces into the luxury
Winnebago, Heels
with me in Old Glory.
[stampeders, "devil you"]
Devil you
When will you ever learn
Welcome aboard Rusty Roadways.
Our destination arrival
time is 6:00 PM...
if we limit piss breaks.
And I'm looking at you, Enigma.
Mighty good of you to ride
with us Heels, Rusty.
[laughs] Come on, Joe.
You know you lot
are my favorite.
Just don't tell, you know.
Kate, what are you doing here?
You're in the wrong van.
Quit trying to separate us.
We're not in the ring.
Plus, I wanted some girl time.
This league is a sausage fest.
Listen, I'm just happy you
two are making amends, okay?
Because tomorrow night is
gonna be a barn burner.
Good money, decent crowd.
Where exactly are we headed?
As far as I know,
a real rural spot
full of good old boys
and bad country women.
You'll love it.
Speak for yourself, Rusty.
Ooh
And all the men that
you hang around with
Now Devil you
Devil you
What you do
[tense music]
[sighs] Nick.
Mm.
Hey, are we there yet?
Uh, not exactly.
[metal clanging]
So you're sure you
didn't take it joy riding?
'Cause I told you,
she's delicate.
Okay, no offense, Rusty,
but if I was joyriding,
it wouldn't be in
this piece of crap.
Hey, guys, can we
please pick it up, okay?
Because the other ones
are probably there,
and they're eating
into my per diem.
Hey!
You know, most managers wouldn't
have talent doing this shit.
Well, I'm not
"most managers."
You can say that again.
[eerie music]
Rusty?
Mm-hmm.
That doesn't look like a hotel.
Is this someone's house?
Rusty, where's the hotel?
Just a regular
old road match, huh?
What?
They're rock and
roll people, Joe.
Our people.
You got something
you wanna tell us?
What?
Oh.
Yeah.
Okay, it was supposed
to be a surprise.
Joe, thank you.
I was going to give you
guys part of the gate.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
What percentage of the gate?
I was thinking,
like, 15% of the gate.
Oh!
[laughs giddily]
Hey!
- Rusty Beans.
- Oh, welcome.
Welcome.
Oh, so happy you're here!
We were worried you got lost.
Sorry, car trouble.
Oh!
Come here.
[laughs excitedly] Oh,
you've had a long day.
You just leave your
belongings to us,
and we'll bring them to
your respective cabins.
Hey, hear that, Joe?
Respective cabins.
You happy?
I hope you brought
your appetites.
Yeah, we did.
Come on, this way.
Where are the others?
Oh, they've been here for hours.
[eerie music]
Nick!
Come on!
[Kiss' "Shout It Out Loud"]
Well, the night's begun
And you want some fun
Do you think you're
gonna find it?
Think you're gonna find it
You got to treat
yourself like number one
SAW in the house!
Do you need
to be reminded?
Need to be reminded
It doesn't matter
what you do or say
Just forget the things that
you've been told We can't do
it any other way
Everybody's got
to rock and roll
Shout it, shout it,
shout it out loud
Shout it
Hey.
Hey, hey!
Get humble.
Wow!
Well, if it isn't Kate the Late.
Are they Jesus
freaks or ex-cons?
My money is on both.
The bar is here.
Any drink you want, we got.
And we got hot dogs and
Frenched fries as well.
Ooh, I just love Frenched fries.
Hey, save some drugs
and liquor for us!
All right, enjoy,
everybody, enjoy!
Shout it, shout it,
shout it out loud
Shout it, shout it,
shout it out loud
One of those green drinks
you're passing around, please.
Thank you.
Mm, try the...
Turpentine.
Nervous about your
rematch with Kate?
No, she said we
buried the hatchet.
So out of curiosity, if Kate
broke kayfabe at your expense,
would you let her off so easy?
Kate can't break kayfabe.
She's not acting.
Look, that's how she really is.
When your life's perfect,
you don't have to pretend.
Well, forget about her, okay?
What?
It's even close.
Stop.
I said, stop.
What?
That ain't right.
Oh, racism in a small town.
Imagine that, huh?
Hey, can I help
you with something?
Is there a problem?
No problem, just nice to
see two SAW legends getting
so cozy.
- Okay.
- Just ignore them, okay?
Focus on us.
You need to stop saying that.
There's no us.
I got to go take a piss.
Look, it's almost
the '90s, okay?
No one cares that
we're together!
Whoa!
Sorry.
Miss Behave.
That's me.
Actually, I think I'm lost.
In what sense?
Bathroom sense.
Up the stairs, third
door on your left.
Thanks.
And the girlfriend of the
year award goes to this bitch.
[rock music]
You know what it
takes to get to me now
Gather round.
He speaks!
[shout]
My children, a glorious
Lupercalia to all of you
and a most blessed Lupercalia
to our formidable guests
of honor.
[cheers]
Look around you, so
many touched souls.
All of us have endured
pain and hardship
and have made sacrifices.
Yes, leader!
I promise you, I
see your sacrifices.
He sees your sacrifices.
Jesus freaks, I fucking knew it.
So to all of you
who possess a daring
spirit and a
restless soul, to all
of you who are fired up
with love for liberty,
I salute you.
[cheers]
We can conquer the heavens.
The power to do so
is within our grasp.
Yes, leader!
It's ours to claim, as
long as we are bold enough.
So raise your
glasses, to sacrifice.
To sacrifice!
[chanting]
And to our guests
tonight, everything
and everyone is here for you.
Yes, leader!
Welcome to paradise.
[cheers]
No, no fucking way.
Laz, hey!
You recognize that guy?
[laughs]
[ethereal music]
Hey, Carol Ann bears gifts.
Thank you.
But I think I'm going to pass.
Oh!
Hey, I thought the
Heels were the ones
who were breaking the rules.
Not Miss.
Miss just breaks noses.
Dude, I thought you said
that we buried the hatchet.
I'm messing with you!
But from one friend to another,
you've been tense lately, huh?
You could try
chilling the hell out.
Hm?
Come on.
Okay, just one, because we're
going to wrestle tomorrow.
She's a one-hit wonder.
It's good, isn't it?
[laughter]
Now, we have ourselves a party.
Rusty, Rusty, Rusty!
You know... you know
who that guy is, right?
You know who the leader is?
[laughter]
Mean Joe Lean, I'm
your biggest fan!
I'm flattered.
I don't... I don't
do road flings.
Can you help me find Nick?
I can help you with that.
We should book this
region more often.
Hey, save some for me.
You're going to have to.
Where are we going?
Wow.
Wow.
Thank you, officer.
Happy Lupercalia, sister.
Happy Luperchonga to you, too.
You guys aren't real
sisters, are you?
I don't care.
I got to find Nick.
What's happening?
[daunting music]
[gasping]
[non-english speech]
So I'm having this dream.
I'm in the ring.
His hand comes out of nowhere.
And he's just...
he's just
holding me down, you know?
Like, I can't breathe.
It's weird.
Maybe it wasn't a dream.
Maybe it was a premonition
of your imminent death.
Kate, for a blonde,
you are fucking dark.
[laughs]
If your fans only knew.
Pretty good, right?
Oh, yeah, this is primo quality.
[laughter]
[non-english speech]
What are you saying?
Is that... who said that?
There you are.
What do you got there?
Whoa, whoa, hey!
[screams]
[unsettling music]
[maniacal laughter]
Where are we?
What did you guys give me?
It's okay.
I kinda like it.
[non-english speech]
Where are we?
[unsettling music]
[guitar music]
Take me for a ride
- Morning!
- Morning.
So, how'd you sleep?
Like shit.
You?
- So good!
Hey, you and Joe seemed
pretty cozy last night.
Kate.
Are you guys a thing?
It's too early for this.
Ooh, I wonder
what's for breakfast!
Ooh.
- Hell of a feast.
Mm-hmm.
Hey, kids.
Hey!
You okay?
Someone spent the night
with the locals, huh?
Rusty, worried about tonight?
Uh, can't wait.
Actually, no.
Make sure we all get paid!
Where's Joe?
Probably sleeping off
whatever the two of you
didn't get up to last night.
There's just not enough
jell-o at the breakfast table,
you know?
Are you going to finish that?
Okay, where's Kate going?
Probably with the other faces.
I hear they're going to keep
us separate until tonight,
you know?
Maintain the
illusion of rivalry!
Seriously, though, is it
just me, or is there something
off about this place?
Here she goes again.
I'm sorry, Miss.
I had a great time last night.
I even got laid.
Okay, now we know
something's off.
Told you!
Hey, what do you say we
ditch the Jesus act tonight,
play Satanists?
[unsettling music]
Morning.
Hey, you missed breakfast.
I know.
I just feel like crap.
Right.
Look, about last night...
Look, I don't
know what happened.
I don't remember
anything, nothing.
You don't owe me
any explanations, Joe.
It's like I said,
there is no us.
Nick!
Nick!
[contemplative music]
It's quite the setup, huh?
Hello?
Hi.
Are all these matches
looking a little...
Gimmicky?
Yeah.
I mean, what the hell
is an inferno match?
I have no idea.
But I would wrestle in lava
if it got me a title shot.
And you would
win the title shot.
Look, Nick, about last night...
No, you don't need to explain.
Yes, I do need to explain, Nick.
Come on.
I didn't mean to
sleep with that girl.
Oh, it was an accident.
You just slipped and
found your dick in her.
Look, I think I was drugged.
I don't know what happened.
It's all a blur.
There he is!
So, how is it?
Hey, did you wake up with
any strangers in your bed?
No, none?
Me neither.
Weird.
[cameo, "word up"]
Y'all pretty ladies
around the world
Got a weird
thing to show you
So tell all the
boys and girls
Tell your brother, your
sister, and your mama, too,
'Cause we're
about to go down
And you know
just what to do
Wave your hands in the
air like you don't care
Glide by the people as
they stop to look and stare
Do your dance, do
your dance quick
Do your dance quick, mama
Come on, baby
Tell me, what's the word?
Word up
Everybody say, when
you hear the call,
you got to get it underway
Word up,
it's the code word
No matter where you say it
You know
that you'll be heard
Now, all you sucker DJs...
[cheers]
Well, hello again.
Sorry, did I spook you?
No, I'm fine.
Please, follow me.
Whoa, hey, do you know him?
We met at the party.
Talent holding is down there.
All these for the amenities.
Yeah, or lack thereof.
Hey!
Can we just wait outside?
- In the cold?
Speak for yourself.
Oh, donuts.
I'm guessing the faces are
somewhere nicer, as always.
Okay, okay, focus up.
Let's go!
Gather round.
Come on.
Just have a good show, yeah?
And seriously, just leave
it all out there tonight.
Yeah, okay, good.
You boys, you're up first.
- I'm Thick.
- I'm Thin.
We're in.
Hey, what's going on?
Is everything okay?
Yeah, it's showtime.
[unsettling music]
[cheers]
My children, our time is now.
Lupercalia, the
celebration of our rebirth.
Five matches, five offerings!
[cheers]
Let the celebration begin!
[unsettling music]
Who here is ready
for some wrestling?
[cheers]
Give it up for the
Bible-thumping hooligans,
the gospel!
[boos]
[cheers]
Give it up for the malicious
mammals of the ring,
the Beast Brothers!
What's with the spikes?
Re-brand?
[unsettling music]
We've been waiting
weeks to mop the floor
with you overrated house pets.
Yeah, you might have
those scary new masks.
But we know the truth.
You wear them to hide the
fact that you're scared!
But you can't hide,
not from Jesus.
[boos]
Okay, first match
is wind-themed.
I call it a tag
team tornado match,
because I like alliteration.
No tags, and it ain't over
until one of you is eliminated.
To your corners.
[cheers]
Rust, is this a joke?
Just do your job.
[cheers]
Rust.
Outside now.
[cheers]
[bell rings]
No coffee, but plenty of
glow sticks, birthday hats,
and welcome signs.
Ah, the crowd is bonkers.
[whirring]
No, that sounds like a machine.
Look out!
[metal music]
[high-pitch ringing]
[unsettling music]
[crack]
What the fuck!
[knocking]
What the fuck?
Was that locked?
Of course not.
What can I do you for?
I want to go watch the match.
We've got strict orders
to guard the talent.
You've got a bunch of
rabid fans up there.
Do I look like I
need a bodyguard?
No!
Look at you.
You're so strong.
Don't murder him.
They only need one!
Hey.
You seriously don't
find this weird?
You remember that
gig in Moose Jaw?
That was weird.
Look, Virgin Mary.
God, just grow up.
Hey, headset.
Is this yours?
You can have it.
It's broken.
Thick!
A little ambiance
would be nice in here.
[sinister music]
Thick!
[bell rings]
[cheers]
[chanting]
Beginning with
the women's match.
Okay.
Over.
Roger that, grabbing the talent.
Miss Impatient, you're in luck.
You're up.
Don't fucking touch me.
Hey, where's my good luck kiss?
Whoa, who stole my Nick, huh?
Hey, who needs a gun to babysit
a bunch of B-grade wrestlers?
B grade?
Speak for yourself.
- I'm serious, Joe.
Miss Behave, you're up.
Just do what you're told.
And maybe you'll get out alive.
It's time for the women's match!
It's an interesting
one, and not just
because of the sprinklers!
[cheers]
[hushes]
I think they're headed in now.
We mustn't spoil the surprise.
That's how you do it.
This isn't a game, Rusty.
Play your part, or this gets
much worse, for all of you.
[rock music]
Where the hell
is Thick and Thin?
They should have
been back by now.
Hey, did you notice
security's packing?
I'm worried about Nick.
Let's just hurry up and wait?
Seconds away, Miss.
- Shit, I forgot my chain.
- Don't worry.
There's props in the ring.
Ladies and gentlemen,
Kate the Great!
Woo!
Let's go, baby!
Woo!
[cheers]
And the woman who dares
face her, Miss Behave!
Break a leg.
[unsettling music]
Screw this.
We need to get the
hell out of here.
What?
Are you okay?
They have guns.
[bell rings]
[cheers]
Okay, okay, listen.
We're getting paid.
So just give them a show.
Do some old choreo.
You think these yokels
can tell the difference?
Hey, open up!
[knocking]
[cheers]
Hey, you gotta swing wide.
You just hit me.
Sorry, the energy in
here is really insane.
[cheers]
You fucking done here?
Just stick to the choreography!
Okay, all right, all right.
I'm sorry.
[grunting]
[laughter]
[chanting]
This is so crazy.
I can't... I can't die
in the ring, Nick.
What are you talking about?
We're getting out of here.
Well...
one of us is.
What the hell?
[chanting]
[chuckles]
Enigma, here, let's get this.
Come on.
We got to find
a way out of here.
Everything's bolted!
What is that?
God!
Dead end!
Come on, come on,
come on, come on!
Someone open up!
[cheers]
What are you doing?
Isn't it obvious?
I'm winning!
Kate, you don't have to do this.
Oh, I know.
I want to!
This is the plan, honey!
Our plan.
Finish her!
Finish her!
Finish her!
Finish her!
Finish her!
- Finish her!
Finish her!
You think you're so dangerous?
Who's dangerous now?
[unsettling music]
Don't you get it, Nick?
This doesn't end
until one of us dies!
[screams]
Come on, then.
Finish it.
[gasps]
Oh, oh, my god.
[unsettling music]
Wait, wait!
As much as it kills me to say
this, we have our sacrifice.
Get her out of here!
I'm sorry!
Oh, daughter, my daughter.
[unsettling music]
Jesus, Nick!
Nick, what happened?
What happened?
What?
Oh, god.
Where's Kate, huh?
She was in on it.
In on what?
I don't know!
And then I killed her.
I had to...
I had to kill her.
She was his daughter.
[cries]
Damn.
Little Kate Warren.
What?
Last night, the
fever dream, the drugs.
The leader is Prophet.
Like the wrestler?
Yeah, come here, come here.
The Prophet, he always had
these vague Christian leanings.
'82, he took a hard right.
He introduced these occult
elements into his persona,
crazy friendship.
He replaced the fans
he lost with new ones,
lost souls just searching
for something,
searching for anything.
And they'd follow him
from town to town,
their own personal savior.
The matches got violent.
Fights broke out.
That last match was meant to
be mine, at the last minute.
He wouldn't give up.
I did what I had to do.
The league blacklisted him.
He's been a ghost ever since.
So is all this my fault?
You got lucky.
Enigma, you're up.
I mean, why don't
you just shoot us?
I want to talk to the Prophet.
I want to talk to David.
His name is The Leader.
[unsettling music]
Joe, they're going to kill him.
This isn't a dark match.
I saw cameras.
Let's observe a moment of
silence for Kate the Great.
I ask that you remember
her name, her skill.
I say this to
everyone watching...
ashes to ashes, dirt to dirt.
[unsettling music]
You seem down, Rusty.
This will pep you up.
Look at me.
Serve your purpose and
announce the match.
Do it!
I'm sorry.
What are you going to do, Rusty?
You know, you're right.
This is all your fault.
You've played your part.
Do it.
This is your fate.
Take it.
Take it!
Chicken shit.
Your time is done here, Rusty.
It's been nice knowing you.
Get up.
Get this guy out of here.
[cheers]
[screams]
[unsettling music]
I defy anyone watching
to call what we do fake,
not tonight.
And on that note,
regardless of the outcome,
the world keeps on spinning.
Time for another match.
This one's a favorite.
Showtime, guys.
And we're rolling in 3, 2, 1.
[cheers]
[bell rings]
Come on, get up!
[cheers]
I have to start
carrying weapons.
You know they're
going to kill him.
The crowd is out for blood.
Enigma is a tough
son of a bitch.
Yeah, and so was Kate.
And I killed her.
Okay, okay!
On your knees.
No one would care if
you died, shit boy.
I would care.
He's an asshole.
He's the reason
we're in this mess.
Joe.
All right, now, give
me five minutes with him.
And there's not going
to be anything left.
But you're up next.
He's a buck 50 soaking wet.
I'm going to bash
his fucking skull in!
[cheers]
Come on, Enigma.
Fight back.
What's wrong with you?
Prefect, I'm sorry
about your daughter.
We should really be there
during the match.
Your presence is needed.
The only thing that matters
now are the recordings.
Do not give in to distraction.
Those are simply for posterity.
The ritual?
The ritual?
SAW has taken everything from
me, even my only daughter.
The only thing that matters
to me now is revenge.
Yeah, nice try.
What are you waiting for?
Kill him.
You idiots are just going
to stand there, watching?
You want us to leave you alone?
Hell, no.
So come on, tough guy.
Do it.
They lied to me.
Joe, I didn't know what
their plan was, I swear.
They've been drugging me.
And they branded me!
No, no, no, no.
You sold us out.
[unsettling music]
Get the fuck up!
[shouting]
Here comes a big one.
Yeah!
That's like the
old school stuff,
hand signals, the eyebrow.
You pull your punches.
Ow!
You smack!
You got us fucking killed!
You deserve whatever
is coming to you!
You don't think
I know that, Joe?
Putz.
I wish I was dead, okay?
He's recording these.
He's making copies.
What do you mean?
This is a snuff film?
You're the last match, Joe,
last being the operative word.
[screaming]
[bell rings]
This whole cult
thing, it's a front.
He's mass-producing
these VHS snuff tapes.
He has a control room
in that house up there.
And let me just
say, for somebody
who has dabbled in the
illicit side of the sport,
there's some serious
moolah to be made.
He's going to get rich.
We got to find Enigma.
I hate to break it to you.
He's already dead.
Stay close.
[unsettling music]
You really think you're
getting out of here alive?
God damn.
We're going to be stinking rich.
Grab Lean.
Okay, come on.
Let's go.
Get in.
This is your goddamn
plan, a crawl space?
Yes, this is my goddamn plan.
Take glow stick.
Get in.
Here, Nick, let's go.
All right, come on.
All right.
Joe, don't play the hero.
Get in.
No, no, no, someone's
got to stay back, okay?
This is our only option.
Okay, now, when the
coast is clear,
I want you to run like hell.
How are we going to know?
You'll know.
So, Joe's big escape
plan is he locks
two of his best
friends in a hole,
and then he goes
and kills himself?
You're not his best friend.
Fair.
[unsettling music]
Your boys pissed me off.
Where are the others?
Long gone.
Why didn't you run?
I owe your boss an ass-whoopin'.
Bringing him in.
All right, children, who's
fired up for the next match?
[cheers]
Fire being the operative word.
So are you going to
man up and face me?
Patience, man.
You're going to get your chance.
But first...
Rusty and Miss, they're gone.
What do you mean, they're gone?
Gone.
All right, listen,
clear the property.
Nothing stops this
ritual, nothing.
You understand?
it's just us now.
Our next match is a
big one for true SAW
fans, a rematch between
the beloved hero,
Lazarus Smashley...
[cheers]
...and that false idol
heathen, all-around piece
of shit, Mean Joe Lean!
[boos]
[mutters]
In keeping with tonight's theme,
our next match is special.
Our fourth element,
our fourth offering...
[mutters]
Inferno.
[unsettling music]
[cheers]
[bell rings]
You don't have to do this, Laz!
If anyone should die,
it's this asshole here.
Come on, come on.
You with me?
They've got shit on
all of us, Joe, huh?
They've got my family.
They're going to kill
my family, my son!
[screams]
Jesus Christ!
Do something!
Do something!
Put him out!
Someone help him!
Put him out!
[chanting]
Fuck, someone help him!
Someone help him!
Do something!
[screams]
Oh, my children,
the time has come
for the final match
of the evening
and the final
match in SAW, ever.
You see, my entire
career, people
told me that pro
wrestling was fake,
that the hits didn't connect.
The injuries were
self-inflicted.
But they are wrong!
Pro wrestling is
about showmanship.
Pro wrestling is
about sacrifice.
I have sacrificed everything
for this championship.
I sacrificed my own daughter.
And tonight, the sacrifices
literally continue.
Only one walks
away, maybe neither.
Two-minute blackout, here we go.
I'm impressed you stayed.
I figured you would have
run away with all the rest.
I'm not running.
Wait, wait, wait, I think
there's something back here.
Okay, it's loose.
- What's that smell?
- Kick it.
Okay.
[thudding]
Harder, get it!
Okay, let's find an exit.
Wait, Rusty!
[unsettling music]
Enigma.
I found an exit.
Let's get the hell out of here.
That's Enigma.
Nick, he's dead.
They're all dead!
Can we go?
No, we can't leave Joe.
Do you have a plan?
What are you going to do,
ask them nicely to stop?
I'm not leaving them.
I don't know what to say.
I'm not dying here with a
pentagram stuck up my ass.
I saw the van.
I think we can make it.
Are you coming?
Suit yourself.
Rusty!
How did you...
Kayfabe.
Damn, that's commitment.
[unsettling music]
You know, we're not
that different, Joe.
We both gave this
company best years.
We've got nothing
to show for it.
The only difference
is that I don't
kill my friends for profit.
You know he's preying
on your ignorance,
to make a quick buck?
There's nothing quick about it.
Everything is calculated.
Yeah, you always were
quite the entrepreneur.
I can't believe I'm asking this.
But do you even
believe in Satan?
Hurts?
Why don't we just rip
it off like a band-aid?
You okay?
Hey, where's the other guy?
What do you say we
write this snuff film?
Gasoline.
Let's do some damage.
Keep your eyes open
for Rusty and Miss.
They're on the loose.
[unsettling music]
Jesus Christ.
Quite the opposite.
Now, let's put on a show!
[cheers]
Hail Satan!
Hail Satan!
Hail Satan!
Hail Satan!
Hail Satan!
Hail Satan!
Hail Satan!
Hail Satan!
Hail Satan!
Hail Satan!
And we're rolling in 3, 2, 1.
Call me Diablos.
I don't think so, David.
Our last match, Joe, that
belt should have been mine.
It was my time.
You keep telling yourself that.
[bell rings]
This looks good.
It's no Betamax.
But it'll do.
But they don't give a...
What do you want?
Listen, this is
sophisticated equipment.
I can do it.
I'll tell the leader...
I've got him.
[shooting]
[Ronnie Milsap's
"I'd Be a Legend in my Time"]
Everyone would know
my name
I'd be a legend in my time
You'd be a legend
In your time
But they don't,
they don't give awards
[grunting]
Hail Satan!
Hail Satan!
With your sacrifice,
the Dark Lord shall arise!
[chanting, "yes, leader"]
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Stay, sit, stay!
[shooting]
Get back here!
The ritual!
[moaning]
Hey, asshole!
Let him go.
Nick, go, please.
You are a fool.
You killed my daughter.
And I let you live!
[shoots]
Let him go.
Nick!
I guess I'll have to
settle for revenge, then.
The Dark Lord will rise despite
your pathetic distractions.
[grunting]
Now, see?
This is more appropriate.
A sacrifice is a noble thing.
And you should die
like you lived...
like trash.
[coughing]
You're okay.
No, no, no, no, no, no!
[cries]
Dark Lord, take
the sacred blade.
Make the final sacrifice.
Shh.
You don't have
to do this, David.
David is dead.
And so are you.
[screams]
Hey.
I'm glad you came back.
That's what
girlfriends do, right?
Yeah.
Let's go.
I'm fine.
I'm fine.
Let's go.
[coughing]
[embers burning]
I told you it'd
be a barn-burner.
Come on, get in!
Did they give you the win?
No, I took it.
The belt looks good on you.
Let's get going.
[calm music]
[grunting]
[ominous music]
[mutters]
Wind.
Water.
[yells]
Earth.
Fire.
Spirit.
[laughs maniacally]
[cracking]
You feel that, right?
You okay?
I just hit my head.
No fucking way.
[growls]
Nick!
[roars]
Who dares face me?
That'd be me!
[roars]
[Louvin Brothers'
"Satan is Real]
Satan is real,
working in spirit
You can see him
And get him
in this world that we made
Satan is real
Working with power
He can tempt you
And lead you astray
I attended service at
a little church in the country
not long ago.
A prayer was led by an
old country preacher who
then raised his hands, as
everyone stood and sang,
my God is real.
A warm breeze through
the open windows
brought in the smell of new
mowed hay in a nearby field.
And the singing
of birds could be
heard in the moment of
silence as the preacher
opened his Bible to read.
And then a little
old man stood up,
bent with age, his
hair thin and white,
and said, preacher, tell
them that Satan is real, too.
You can hear him in songs
that give praise
to idols and sinful things
of this world
You can see him
in the destruction
of homes torn apart.
I know that Satan is real.
For, once, I had a happy home.
I was loved and
respected by my family.
I was looked upon as a
leader in my community.
And then, Satan
came into my life.
I grew selfish and unneighborly.
My friends turned against me.
And, finally, my home
was broken apart.
My children took their
paths into a world of sin.
Yes, preacher, it's sweet
to know that God is real
and to know that, in Him,
all things are possible.
And we know that
heaven is a real place
where joy shall never end.
But sinner, friend,
if you're here today,
Satan is real, too.
And hell is a real place,
a place of
everlasting punishment.
Satan is real,
working in spirit
You can see him
and hear him
In this world every day
Satan is real,
working with power
He can tempt you
and lead you astray
[unsettling music]
[muffled cries]
[eerie tones]
[grunting]
Five deaths in the ring.
That is the thing.
[ominous music]
Raise a little hell
Raise a little hell
Raise a little hell
[audience cheering]
Raise a little hell
Raise a little hell
Raise a little hell
If you don't like
[muffled cheers and music]
Miss Behave, you're up.
Miss!
I heard you.
Break a leg.
Raise a little hell
Raise a little hell
Raise a little hell
Raise a little hell
Raise a little hell
Raise a little hell
If you don't
like what you see
[cheering]
If you know there's
something wrong
Why don't you right it?
[booing]
[chain clinking]
Boo.
[spits]
Comes down
to your thinking
And it's really
not too late
Boo!
Welcome back to SAW Wrestling.
We've got quite the
lineup for you tonight.
I'm Rusty Beans.
Check it out.
First up, it's a tag team.
Number 11, Beast Brothers,
tear into Thick and Thin,
those obnoxious,
Bible-thumping hooligans.
It's animal instinct
versus religion,
a tale as old as time.
[grunting]
[smashing]
Ooh!
I'm so damn...
Humble!
Next up, Kid Humble.
[grunting]
Enter Enigma Jones,
the mute masked menace.
Why has Enigma taken
a vow of silence?
Some say it's a respect
for the craft of wrestling,
and some of the ladies
say it's because he's shy.
Oh!
Oh!
Whoa!
Ah!
Ah!
Next, the most
heated rivalry in SAW,
the hero, Lazarus Smashley...
I love you, Lazarus!
I love you, too, baby.
... versus the hated
heel, Mean Joe Lean!
Oh!
Joe Lean's got him in his
classic, the Joe Lean cuisine.
Ah!
[CHANTING] Kate the Great!
No code is complete
without a ladies' match.
Prairie-grown sweetheart
Kate the Great faces off
against the woman
you love to hate,
Trinidadian trickster
Miss Behave.
[bell dinging]
[cheering, applause]
[panting] Nice.
Thanks, DDT.
Make it pretty.
I got a special
fan here tonight.
A talent scout from
the big leagues.
[cheering]
[grunting]
[smashing]
That's why they call her Kate,
and that is why she's great.
She came out of nowhere and
shot straight to the top.
Miss Behave...
Woo!
... on the other hand,
is going nowhere.
[laughs]
She's fueled by rage,
but sorry, Miss, someone's
gotta be the bad guy.
Ah!
Stop screwing around!
[panting]
[slamming]
[booing]
[chain clinking]
Ugh!
Referee, do something!
Do your job!
[groaning]
Stop it!
[grunts]
Did you get that?
[slamming]
You are watching the
modern age of wrestling.
This is 1988.
[grunting]
It's only here on SAW.
Right?
[grunts]
[thumping]
[cheering, bell dinging]
Thanks for making me look good.
[CHANTING] Kate the Great!
Kate the Great!
Kate the Great!
[panting]
[sighs]
[grunting]
What?
What the hell, Nick?
[grunts]
Ooh!
[grunting]
[booing]
Ladies and gentlemen,
that was an epic
battle, one for the ages.
And we will be here again next
week, same time, same channel.
Keep fighting.
[eerie music]
[train horn honking,
phone ringing]
Rusty Beans, head
manager of SAW.
How can I assist you?
[muffled voice on phone]
You're still trying
to explain yourself.
Look, I told you, I got it.
[muffled voice on phone]
We got a great roster right now.
Have you seen Kate the Great?
She's gonna be a star.
[muffled voice on phone]
Listen, make me an offer.
[groaning]
Hey, Nick.
What you're feeling
right now is karma.
She goaded me, Rusty.
Come on.
The League is fining
you half your fee.
What?
The holidays wiped
me out, Rusty.
I need the money.
- All right.
Well, then you
should have thought
of that before you got so
creative with your backhand.
Why would you do that?
Is it 'cause of that scout,
or do you hate Kate that much?
I don't hate Kate.
I don't even know Kate.
Listen, I know you want
to be Snow White, okay?
But somebody's
gotta be the witch.
[laughs] That's a really
interesting choice of words...
Snow White?
Nick, how many years
have you been with me,
and how many women have
you ever seen sling
the belt over their shoulder?
And don't get me wrong.
I know that you would go to
hell and back for a title shot.
But that's a fantasy.
And this is reality.
You know I'm better than this.
It's delusions of grandeur.
Okay?
It's from the concussions.
It'll pass.
Now, things are about to
get real weird in here.
So you can either stay or
you can go unwind the way
you like to.
And I will clean up this mess.
[sniffles] I thought I
handled that very well.
What is going on in there?
I was gonna have to quit.
[laughs] You're obsessed,
not to mention awesome,
at what you do.
You couldn't quit
if you wanted to.
Well, I'm sick
and tired of banging
my head against the wall.
And this league obviously
doesn't want me, so.
They want you, just not how
you want them to want you.
Welcome back to SAW
Royal Rumble, 1979.
Mean Joe Lean is fired up.
But does he have what it takes
to challenge the Prophet?
What a nut job.
I hated that guy.
The followers are giving
the Prophet strength.
Joe's in trouble now.
That's all I want.
At least you had a real rivalry.
Title shot.
Joe's lost the upper hand.
The Prophet's got him
in his crucifix hold.
[snaps fingers]
- Hey.
What?
Should I leave you two alone?
[laughs]
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, hey.
Come on.
I thought you were injured.
Yeah, well, you know us women.
We bounce back fast.
I wonder what your fans
would say if they knew
we were wrestling in the nude.
[laughs]
Well, I tell you.
I tell you, if my fans
had any sense whatsoever,
they would be so jealous.
Ladies and gentlemen,
you are watching SAW,
pro wrestling at its finest.
Mm, seriously?
What?
No, no, no, no.
The Prophet is your chosen one.
Who's the chosen one now, huh?
Who's the chosen one now?
[eerie music]
[phone ringing]
[wind blowing]
[clears throat] Rusty
Beans, head manager of SAW.
How can I assist you?
- Hello again.
I'm calling to repeat my offer.
This again.
Listen, pal, it's like I
said to your associate.
I would love to expand into
your neck of the woods,
but, uh, without a
minimum guaranteed
attendance or a healthy upfront
deposit, it's not feasible.
Well, we'd love to host
your wrestlers
for an evening event
in our town of Shellbrook.
We have the money.
We're willing to pay.
- Okay.
- How much?
- All right.
Well, that would require...
and... and, like, I'm
just spitballing here...
um, family rate, 50K.
That works for us.
But it's gotta be this weekend.
You don't say?
Okay, well, then, allow me to,
uh, speak with my associates,
and, uh, I'll get back to you.
[music stops]
I'm fucking rich.
Fucking rich!
[bell dings]
[echoing]
[ominous music, gasping]
[phone ringing]
Yeah?
Listen, Rusty,
are you firing me?
Wait, how much?
For a dark match?
Hey.
There's my new
favorite wrestler,
Delusions of Grandeur.
Ha.
That's not funny.
Hey, you said you
wanted more money.
I got you more money.
Are you excited?
- Yeah, I'm excited.
- Good.
- Come on, amigo.
- Hey, hey, hey!
It's a rental!
Shit, shit.
How pissed is Kate?
Well, we're getting
paid this weekend.
I mean, I'm sure
she'll get over it.
Hey, I said get gas.
Don't go joyriding.
Come on!
Aw.
Thanks for showing up.
Some of us are freezing
our nuts off here, toots.
Poor baby.
Okay.
Hey, how's your...
Healing.
Yeah, um, I'm really sorry.
I...
- Nick, it's fine.
I'm used to hits to the face.
I just prefer them
to be by accident.
Okay.
This thing's good.
You guys good?
Why don't you have
a little smooch?
We can use that as an angle.
Cut, go.
Could you not?
Hey.
We're good.
- Good?
- Good, okay.
Faces into the luxury
Winnebago, Heels
with me in Old Glory.
[stampeders, "devil you"]
Devil you
When will you ever learn
Welcome aboard Rusty Roadways.
Our destination arrival
time is 6:00 PM...
if we limit piss breaks.
And I'm looking at you, Enigma.
Mighty good of you to ride
with us Heels, Rusty.
[laughs] Come on, Joe.
You know you lot
are my favorite.
Just don't tell, you know.
Kate, what are you doing here?
You're in the wrong van.
Quit trying to separate us.
We're not in the ring.
Plus, I wanted some girl time.
This league is a sausage fest.
Listen, I'm just happy you
two are making amends, okay?
Because tomorrow night is
gonna be a barn burner.
Good money, decent crowd.
Where exactly are we headed?
As far as I know,
a real rural spot
full of good old boys
and bad country women.
You'll love it.
Speak for yourself, Rusty.
Ooh
And all the men that
you hang around with
Now Devil you
Devil you
What you do
[tense music]
[sighs] Nick.
Mm.
Hey, are we there yet?
Uh, not exactly.
[metal clanging]
So you're sure you
didn't take it joy riding?
'Cause I told you,
she's delicate.
Okay, no offense, Rusty,
but if I was joyriding,
it wouldn't be in
this piece of crap.
Hey, guys, can we
please pick it up, okay?
Because the other ones
are probably there,
and they're eating
into my per diem.
Hey!
You know, most managers wouldn't
have talent doing this shit.
Well, I'm not
"most managers."
You can say that again.
[eerie music]
Rusty?
Mm-hmm.
That doesn't look like a hotel.
Is this someone's house?
Rusty, where's the hotel?
Just a regular
old road match, huh?
What?
They're rock and
roll people, Joe.
Our people.
You got something
you wanna tell us?
What?
Oh.
Yeah.
Okay, it was supposed
to be a surprise.
Joe, thank you.
I was going to give you
guys part of the gate.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
What percentage of the gate?
I was thinking,
like, 15% of the gate.
Oh!
[laughs giddily]
Hey!
- Rusty Beans.
- Oh, welcome.
Welcome.
Oh, so happy you're here!
We were worried you got lost.
Sorry, car trouble.
Oh!
Come here.
[laughs excitedly] Oh,
you've had a long day.
You just leave your
belongings to us,
and we'll bring them to
your respective cabins.
Hey, hear that, Joe?
Respective cabins.
You happy?
I hope you brought
your appetites.
Yeah, we did.
Come on, this way.
Where are the others?
Oh, they've been here for hours.
[eerie music]
Nick!
Come on!
[Kiss' "Shout It Out Loud"]
Well, the night's begun
And you want some fun
Do you think you're
gonna find it?
Think you're gonna find it
You got to treat
yourself like number one
SAW in the house!
Do you need
to be reminded?
Need to be reminded
It doesn't matter
what you do or say
Just forget the things that
you've been told We can't do
it any other way
Everybody's got
to rock and roll
Shout it, shout it,
shout it out loud
Shout it
Hey.
Hey, hey!
Get humble.
Wow!
Well, if it isn't Kate the Late.
Are they Jesus
freaks or ex-cons?
My money is on both.
The bar is here.
Any drink you want, we got.
And we got hot dogs and
Frenched fries as well.
Ooh, I just love Frenched fries.
Hey, save some drugs
and liquor for us!
All right, enjoy,
everybody, enjoy!
Shout it, shout it,
shout it out loud
Shout it, shout it,
shout it out loud
One of those green drinks
you're passing around, please.
Thank you.
Mm, try the...
Turpentine.
Nervous about your
rematch with Kate?
No, she said we
buried the hatchet.
So out of curiosity, if Kate
broke kayfabe at your expense,
would you let her off so easy?
Kate can't break kayfabe.
She's not acting.
Look, that's how she really is.
When your life's perfect,
you don't have to pretend.
Well, forget about her, okay?
What?
It's even close.
Stop.
I said, stop.
What?
That ain't right.
Oh, racism in a small town.
Imagine that, huh?
Hey, can I help
you with something?
Is there a problem?
No problem, just nice to
see two SAW legends getting
so cozy.
- Okay.
- Just ignore them, okay?
Focus on us.
You need to stop saying that.
There's no us.
I got to go take a piss.
Look, it's almost
the '90s, okay?
No one cares that
we're together!
Whoa!
Sorry.
Miss Behave.
That's me.
Actually, I think I'm lost.
In what sense?
Bathroom sense.
Up the stairs, third
door on your left.
Thanks.
And the girlfriend of the
year award goes to this bitch.
[rock music]
You know what it
takes to get to me now
Gather round.
He speaks!
[shout]
My children, a glorious
Lupercalia to all of you
and a most blessed Lupercalia
to our formidable guests
of honor.
[cheers]
Look around you, so
many touched souls.
All of us have endured
pain and hardship
and have made sacrifices.
Yes, leader!
I promise you, I
see your sacrifices.
He sees your sacrifices.
Jesus freaks, I fucking knew it.
So to all of you
who possess a daring
spirit and a
restless soul, to all
of you who are fired up
with love for liberty,
I salute you.
[cheers]
We can conquer the heavens.
The power to do so
is within our grasp.
Yes, leader!
It's ours to claim, as
long as we are bold enough.
So raise your
glasses, to sacrifice.
To sacrifice!
[chanting]
And to our guests
tonight, everything
and everyone is here for you.
Yes, leader!
Welcome to paradise.
[cheers]
No, no fucking way.
Laz, hey!
You recognize that guy?
[laughs]
[ethereal music]
Hey, Carol Ann bears gifts.
Thank you.
But I think I'm going to pass.
Oh!
Hey, I thought the
Heels were the ones
who were breaking the rules.
Not Miss.
Miss just breaks noses.
Dude, I thought you said
that we buried the hatchet.
I'm messing with you!
But from one friend to another,
you've been tense lately, huh?
You could try
chilling the hell out.
Hm?
Come on.
Okay, just one, because we're
going to wrestle tomorrow.
She's a one-hit wonder.
It's good, isn't it?
[laughter]
Now, we have ourselves a party.
Rusty, Rusty, Rusty!
You know... you know
who that guy is, right?
You know who the leader is?
[laughter]
Mean Joe Lean, I'm
your biggest fan!
I'm flattered.
I don't... I don't
do road flings.
Can you help me find Nick?
I can help you with that.
We should book this
region more often.
Hey, save some for me.
You're going to have to.
Where are we going?
Wow.
Wow.
Thank you, officer.
Happy Lupercalia, sister.
Happy Luperchonga to you, too.
You guys aren't real
sisters, are you?
I don't care.
I got to find Nick.
What's happening?
[daunting music]
[gasping]
[non-english speech]
So I'm having this dream.
I'm in the ring.
His hand comes out of nowhere.
And he's just...
he's just
holding me down, you know?
Like, I can't breathe.
It's weird.
Maybe it wasn't a dream.
Maybe it was a premonition
of your imminent death.
Kate, for a blonde,
you are fucking dark.
[laughs]
If your fans only knew.
Pretty good, right?
Oh, yeah, this is primo quality.
[laughter]
[non-english speech]
What are you saying?
Is that... who said that?
There you are.
What do you got there?
Whoa, whoa, hey!
[screams]
[unsettling music]
[maniacal laughter]
Where are we?
What did you guys give me?
It's okay.
I kinda like it.
[non-english speech]
Where are we?
[unsettling music]
[guitar music]
Take me for a ride
- Morning!
- Morning.
So, how'd you sleep?
Like shit.
You?
- So good!
Hey, you and Joe seemed
pretty cozy last night.
Kate.
Are you guys a thing?
It's too early for this.
Ooh, I wonder
what's for breakfast!
Ooh.
- Hell of a feast.
Mm-hmm.
Hey, kids.
Hey!
You okay?
Someone spent the night
with the locals, huh?
Rusty, worried about tonight?
Uh, can't wait.
Actually, no.
Make sure we all get paid!
Where's Joe?
Probably sleeping off
whatever the two of you
didn't get up to last night.
There's just not enough
jell-o at the breakfast table,
you know?
Are you going to finish that?
Okay, where's Kate going?
Probably with the other faces.
I hear they're going to keep
us separate until tonight,
you know?
Maintain the
illusion of rivalry!
Seriously, though, is it
just me, or is there something
off about this place?
Here she goes again.
I'm sorry, Miss.
I had a great time last night.
I even got laid.
Okay, now we know
something's off.
Told you!
Hey, what do you say we
ditch the Jesus act tonight,
play Satanists?
[unsettling music]
Morning.
Hey, you missed breakfast.
I know.
I just feel like crap.
Right.
Look, about last night...
Look, I don't
know what happened.
I don't remember
anything, nothing.
You don't owe me
any explanations, Joe.
It's like I said,
there is no us.
Nick!
Nick!
[contemplative music]
It's quite the setup, huh?
Hello?
Hi.
Are all these matches
looking a little...
Gimmicky?
Yeah.
I mean, what the hell
is an inferno match?
I have no idea.
But I would wrestle in lava
if it got me a title shot.
And you would
win the title shot.
Look, Nick, about last night...
No, you don't need to explain.
Yes, I do need to explain, Nick.
Come on.
I didn't mean to
sleep with that girl.
Oh, it was an accident.
You just slipped and
found your dick in her.
Look, I think I was drugged.
I don't know what happened.
It's all a blur.
There he is!
So, how is it?
Hey, did you wake up with
any strangers in your bed?
No, none?
Me neither.
Weird.
[cameo, "word up"]
Y'all pretty ladies
around the world
Got a weird
thing to show you
So tell all the
boys and girls
Tell your brother, your
sister, and your mama, too,
'Cause we're
about to go down
And you know
just what to do
Wave your hands in the
air like you don't care
Glide by the people as
they stop to look and stare
Do your dance, do
your dance quick
Do your dance quick, mama
Come on, baby
Tell me, what's the word?
Word up
Everybody say, when
you hear the call,
you got to get it underway
Word up,
it's the code word
No matter where you say it
You know
that you'll be heard
Now, all you sucker DJs...
[cheers]
Well, hello again.
Sorry, did I spook you?
No, I'm fine.
Please, follow me.
Whoa, hey, do you know him?
We met at the party.
Talent holding is down there.
All these for the amenities.
Yeah, or lack thereof.
Hey!
Can we just wait outside?
- In the cold?
Speak for yourself.
Oh, donuts.
I'm guessing the faces are
somewhere nicer, as always.
Okay, okay, focus up.
Let's go!
Gather round.
Come on.
Just have a good show, yeah?
And seriously, just leave
it all out there tonight.
Yeah, okay, good.
You boys, you're up first.
- I'm Thick.
- I'm Thin.
We're in.
Hey, what's going on?
Is everything okay?
Yeah, it's showtime.
[unsettling music]
[cheers]
My children, our time is now.
Lupercalia, the
celebration of our rebirth.
Five matches, five offerings!
[cheers]
Let the celebration begin!
[unsettling music]
Who here is ready
for some wrestling?
[cheers]
Give it up for the
Bible-thumping hooligans,
the gospel!
[boos]
[cheers]
Give it up for the malicious
mammals of the ring,
the Beast Brothers!
What's with the spikes?
Re-brand?
[unsettling music]
We've been waiting
weeks to mop the floor
with you overrated house pets.
Yeah, you might have
those scary new masks.
But we know the truth.
You wear them to hide the
fact that you're scared!
But you can't hide,
not from Jesus.
[boos]
Okay, first match
is wind-themed.
I call it a tag
team tornado match,
because I like alliteration.
No tags, and it ain't over
until one of you is eliminated.
To your corners.
[cheers]
Rust, is this a joke?
Just do your job.
[cheers]
Rust.
Outside now.
[cheers]
[bell rings]
No coffee, but plenty of
glow sticks, birthday hats,
and welcome signs.
Ah, the crowd is bonkers.
[whirring]
No, that sounds like a machine.
Look out!
[metal music]
[high-pitch ringing]
[unsettling music]
[crack]
What the fuck!
[knocking]
What the fuck?
Was that locked?
Of course not.
What can I do you for?
I want to go watch the match.
We've got strict orders
to guard the talent.
You've got a bunch of
rabid fans up there.
Do I look like I
need a bodyguard?
No!
Look at you.
You're so strong.
Don't murder him.
They only need one!
Hey.
You seriously don't
find this weird?
You remember that
gig in Moose Jaw?
That was weird.
Look, Virgin Mary.
God, just grow up.
Hey, headset.
Is this yours?
You can have it.
It's broken.
Thick!
A little ambiance
would be nice in here.
[sinister music]
Thick!
[bell rings]
[cheers]
[chanting]
Beginning with
the women's match.
Okay.
Over.
Roger that, grabbing the talent.
Miss Impatient, you're in luck.
You're up.
Don't fucking touch me.
Hey, where's my good luck kiss?
Whoa, who stole my Nick, huh?
Hey, who needs a gun to babysit
a bunch of B-grade wrestlers?
B grade?
Speak for yourself.
- I'm serious, Joe.
Miss Behave, you're up.
Just do what you're told.
And maybe you'll get out alive.
It's time for the women's match!
It's an interesting
one, and not just
because of the sprinklers!
[cheers]
[hushes]
I think they're headed in now.
We mustn't spoil the surprise.
That's how you do it.
This isn't a game, Rusty.
Play your part, or this gets
much worse, for all of you.
[rock music]
Where the hell
is Thick and Thin?
They should have
been back by now.
Hey, did you notice
security's packing?
I'm worried about Nick.
Let's just hurry up and wait?
Seconds away, Miss.
- Shit, I forgot my chain.
- Don't worry.
There's props in the ring.
Ladies and gentlemen,
Kate the Great!
Woo!
Let's go, baby!
Woo!
[cheers]
And the woman who dares
face her, Miss Behave!
Break a leg.
[unsettling music]
Screw this.
We need to get the
hell out of here.
What?
Are you okay?
They have guns.
[bell rings]
[cheers]
Okay, okay, listen.
We're getting paid.
So just give them a show.
Do some old choreo.
You think these yokels
can tell the difference?
Hey, open up!
[knocking]
[cheers]
Hey, you gotta swing wide.
You just hit me.
Sorry, the energy in
here is really insane.
[cheers]
You fucking done here?
Just stick to the choreography!
Okay, all right, all right.
I'm sorry.
[grunting]
[laughter]
[chanting]
This is so crazy.
I can't... I can't die
in the ring, Nick.
What are you talking about?
We're getting out of here.
Well...
one of us is.
What the hell?
[chanting]
[chuckles]
Enigma, here, let's get this.
Come on.
We got to find
a way out of here.
Everything's bolted!
What is that?
God!
Dead end!
Come on, come on,
come on, come on!
Someone open up!
[cheers]
What are you doing?
Isn't it obvious?
I'm winning!
Kate, you don't have to do this.
Oh, I know.
I want to!
This is the plan, honey!
Our plan.
Finish her!
Finish her!
Finish her!
Finish her!
Finish her!
- Finish her!
Finish her!
You think you're so dangerous?
Who's dangerous now?
[unsettling music]
Don't you get it, Nick?
This doesn't end
until one of us dies!
[screams]
Come on, then.
Finish it.
[gasps]
Oh, oh, my god.
[unsettling music]
Wait, wait!
As much as it kills me to say
this, we have our sacrifice.
Get her out of here!
I'm sorry!
Oh, daughter, my daughter.
[unsettling music]
Jesus, Nick!
Nick, what happened?
What happened?
What?
Oh, god.
Where's Kate, huh?
She was in on it.
In on what?
I don't know!
And then I killed her.
I had to...
I had to kill her.
She was his daughter.
[cries]
Damn.
Little Kate Warren.
What?
Last night, the
fever dream, the drugs.
The leader is Prophet.
Like the wrestler?
Yeah, come here, come here.
The Prophet, he always had
these vague Christian leanings.
'82, he took a hard right.
He introduced these occult
elements into his persona,
crazy friendship.
He replaced the fans
he lost with new ones,
lost souls just searching
for something,
searching for anything.
And they'd follow him
from town to town,
their own personal savior.
The matches got violent.
Fights broke out.
That last match was meant to
be mine, at the last minute.
He wouldn't give up.
I did what I had to do.
The league blacklisted him.
He's been a ghost ever since.
So is all this my fault?
You got lucky.
Enigma, you're up.
I mean, why don't
you just shoot us?
I want to talk to the Prophet.
I want to talk to David.
His name is The Leader.
[unsettling music]
Joe, they're going to kill him.
This isn't a dark match.
I saw cameras.
Let's observe a moment of
silence for Kate the Great.
I ask that you remember
her name, her skill.
I say this to
everyone watching...
ashes to ashes, dirt to dirt.
[unsettling music]
You seem down, Rusty.
This will pep you up.
Look at me.
Serve your purpose and
announce the match.
Do it!
I'm sorry.
What are you going to do, Rusty?
You know, you're right.
This is all your fault.
You've played your part.
Do it.
This is your fate.
Take it.
Take it!
Chicken shit.
Your time is done here, Rusty.
It's been nice knowing you.
Get up.
Get this guy out of here.
[cheers]
[screams]
[unsettling music]
I defy anyone watching
to call what we do fake,
not tonight.
And on that note,
regardless of the outcome,
the world keeps on spinning.
Time for another match.
This one's a favorite.
Showtime, guys.
And we're rolling in 3, 2, 1.
[cheers]
[bell rings]
Come on, get up!
[cheers]
I have to start
carrying weapons.
You know they're
going to kill him.
The crowd is out for blood.
Enigma is a tough
son of a bitch.
Yeah, and so was Kate.
And I killed her.
Okay, okay!
On your knees.
No one would care if
you died, shit boy.
I would care.
He's an asshole.
He's the reason
we're in this mess.
Joe.
All right, now, give
me five minutes with him.
And there's not going
to be anything left.
But you're up next.
He's a buck 50 soaking wet.
I'm going to bash
his fucking skull in!
[cheers]
Come on, Enigma.
Fight back.
What's wrong with you?
Prefect, I'm sorry
about your daughter.
We should really be there
during the match.
Your presence is needed.
The only thing that matters
now are the recordings.
Do not give in to distraction.
Those are simply for posterity.
The ritual?
The ritual?
SAW has taken everything from
me, even my only daughter.
The only thing that matters
to me now is revenge.
Yeah, nice try.
What are you waiting for?
Kill him.
You idiots are just going
to stand there, watching?
You want us to leave you alone?
Hell, no.
So come on, tough guy.
Do it.
They lied to me.
Joe, I didn't know what
their plan was, I swear.
They've been drugging me.
And they branded me!
No, no, no, no.
You sold us out.
[unsettling music]
Get the fuck up!
[shouting]
Here comes a big one.
Yeah!
That's like the
old school stuff,
hand signals, the eyebrow.
You pull your punches.
Ow!
You smack!
You got us fucking killed!
You deserve whatever
is coming to you!
You don't think
I know that, Joe?
Putz.
I wish I was dead, okay?
He's recording these.
He's making copies.
What do you mean?
This is a snuff film?
You're the last match, Joe,
last being the operative word.
[screaming]
[bell rings]
This whole cult
thing, it's a front.
He's mass-producing
these VHS snuff tapes.
He has a control room
in that house up there.
And let me just
say, for somebody
who has dabbled in the
illicit side of the sport,
there's some serious
moolah to be made.
He's going to get rich.
We got to find Enigma.
I hate to break it to you.
He's already dead.
Stay close.
[unsettling music]
You really think you're
getting out of here alive?
God damn.
We're going to be stinking rich.
Grab Lean.
Okay, come on.
Let's go.
Get in.
This is your goddamn
plan, a crawl space?
Yes, this is my goddamn plan.
Take glow stick.
Get in.
Here, Nick, let's go.
All right, come on.
All right.
Joe, don't play the hero.
Get in.
No, no, no, someone's
got to stay back, okay?
This is our only option.
Okay, now, when the
coast is clear,
I want you to run like hell.
How are we going to know?
You'll know.
So, Joe's big escape
plan is he locks
two of his best
friends in a hole,
and then he goes
and kills himself?
You're not his best friend.
Fair.
[unsettling music]
Your boys pissed me off.
Where are the others?
Long gone.
Why didn't you run?
I owe your boss an ass-whoopin'.
Bringing him in.
All right, children, who's
fired up for the next match?
[cheers]
Fire being the operative word.
So are you going to
man up and face me?
Patience, man.
You're going to get your chance.
But first...
Rusty and Miss, they're gone.
What do you mean, they're gone?
Gone.
All right, listen,
clear the property.
Nothing stops this
ritual, nothing.
You understand?
it's just us now.
Our next match is a
big one for true SAW
fans, a rematch between
the beloved hero,
Lazarus Smashley...
[cheers]
...and that false idol
heathen, all-around piece
of shit, Mean Joe Lean!
[boos]
[mutters]
In keeping with tonight's theme,
our next match is special.
Our fourth element,
our fourth offering...
[mutters]
Inferno.
[unsettling music]
[cheers]
[bell rings]
You don't have to do this, Laz!
If anyone should die,
it's this asshole here.
Come on, come on.
You with me?
They've got shit on
all of us, Joe, huh?
They've got my family.
They're going to kill
my family, my son!
[screams]
Jesus Christ!
Do something!
Do something!
Put him out!
Someone help him!
Put him out!
[chanting]
Fuck, someone help him!
Someone help him!
Do something!
[screams]
Oh, my children,
the time has come
for the final match
of the evening
and the final
match in SAW, ever.
You see, my entire
career, people
told me that pro
wrestling was fake,
that the hits didn't connect.
The injuries were
self-inflicted.
But they are wrong!
Pro wrestling is
about showmanship.
Pro wrestling is
about sacrifice.
I have sacrificed everything
for this championship.
I sacrificed my own daughter.
And tonight, the sacrifices
literally continue.
Only one walks
away, maybe neither.
Two-minute blackout, here we go.
I'm impressed you stayed.
I figured you would have
run away with all the rest.
I'm not running.
Wait, wait, wait, I think
there's something back here.
Okay, it's loose.
- What's that smell?
- Kick it.
Okay.
[thudding]
Harder, get it!
Okay, let's find an exit.
Wait, Rusty!
[unsettling music]
Enigma.
I found an exit.
Let's get the hell out of here.
That's Enigma.
Nick, he's dead.
They're all dead!
Can we go?
No, we can't leave Joe.
Do you have a plan?
What are you going to do,
ask them nicely to stop?
I'm not leaving them.
I don't know what to say.
I'm not dying here with a
pentagram stuck up my ass.
I saw the van.
I think we can make it.
Are you coming?
Suit yourself.
Rusty!
How did you...
Kayfabe.
Damn, that's commitment.
[unsettling music]
You know, we're not
that different, Joe.
We both gave this
company best years.
We've got nothing
to show for it.
The only difference
is that I don't
kill my friends for profit.
You know he's preying
on your ignorance,
to make a quick buck?
There's nothing quick about it.
Everything is calculated.
Yeah, you always were
quite the entrepreneur.
I can't believe I'm asking this.
But do you even
believe in Satan?
Hurts?
Why don't we just rip
it off like a band-aid?
You okay?
Hey, where's the other guy?
What do you say we
write this snuff film?
Gasoline.
Let's do some damage.
Keep your eyes open
for Rusty and Miss.
They're on the loose.
[unsettling music]
Jesus Christ.
Quite the opposite.
Now, let's put on a show!
[cheers]
Hail Satan!
Hail Satan!
Hail Satan!
Hail Satan!
Hail Satan!
Hail Satan!
Hail Satan!
Hail Satan!
Hail Satan!
Hail Satan!
And we're rolling in 3, 2, 1.
Call me Diablos.
I don't think so, David.
Our last match, Joe, that
belt should have been mine.
It was my time.
You keep telling yourself that.
[bell rings]
This looks good.
It's no Betamax.
But it'll do.
But they don't give a...
What do you want?
Listen, this is
sophisticated equipment.
I can do it.
I'll tell the leader...
I've got him.
[shooting]
[Ronnie Milsap's
"I'd Be a Legend in my Time"]
Everyone would know
my name
I'd be a legend in my time
You'd be a legend
In your time
But they don't,
they don't give awards
[grunting]
Hail Satan!
Hail Satan!
With your sacrifice,
the Dark Lord shall arise!
[chanting, "yes, leader"]
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Stay, sit, stay!
[shooting]
Get back here!
The ritual!
[moaning]
Hey, asshole!
Let him go.
Nick, go, please.
You are a fool.
You killed my daughter.
And I let you live!
[shoots]
Let him go.
Nick!
I guess I'll have to
settle for revenge, then.
The Dark Lord will rise despite
your pathetic distractions.
[grunting]
Now, see?
This is more appropriate.
A sacrifice is a noble thing.
And you should die
like you lived...
like trash.
[coughing]
You're okay.
No, no, no, no, no, no!
[cries]
Dark Lord, take
the sacred blade.
Make the final sacrifice.
Shh.
You don't have
to do this, David.
David is dead.
And so are you.
[screams]
Hey.
I'm glad you came back.
That's what
girlfriends do, right?
Yeah.
Let's go.
I'm fine.
I'm fine.
Let's go.
[coughing]
[embers burning]
I told you it'd
be a barn-burner.
Come on, get in!
Did they give you the win?
No, I took it.
The belt looks good on you.
Let's get going.
[calm music]
[grunting]
[ominous music]
[mutters]
Wind.
Water.
[yells]
Earth.
Fire.
Spirit.
[laughs maniacally]
[cracking]
You feel that, right?
You okay?
I just hit my head.
No fucking way.
[growls]
Nick!
[roars]
Who dares face me?
That'd be me!
[roars]
[Louvin Brothers'
"Satan is Real]
Satan is real,
working in spirit
You can see him
And get him
in this world that we made
Satan is real
Working with power
He can tempt you
And lead you astray
I attended service at
a little church in the country
not long ago.
A prayer was led by an
old country preacher who
then raised his hands, as
everyone stood and sang,
my God is real.
A warm breeze through
the open windows
brought in the smell of new
mowed hay in a nearby field.
And the singing
of birds could be
heard in the moment of
silence as the preacher
opened his Bible to read.
And then a little
old man stood up,
bent with age, his
hair thin and white,
and said, preacher, tell
them that Satan is real, too.
You can hear him in songs
that give praise
to idols and sinful things
of this world
You can see him
in the destruction
of homes torn apart.
I know that Satan is real.
For, once, I had a happy home.
I was loved and
respected by my family.
I was looked upon as a
leader in my community.
And then, Satan
came into my life.
I grew selfish and unneighborly.
My friends turned against me.
And, finally, my home
was broken apart.
My children took their
paths into a world of sin.
Yes, preacher, it's sweet
to know that God is real
and to know that, in Him,
all things are possible.
And we know that
heaven is a real place
where joy shall never end.
But sinner, friend,
if you're here today,
Satan is real, too.
And hell is a real place,
a place of
everlasting punishment.
Satan is real,
working in spirit
You can see him
and hear him
In this world every day
Satan is real,
working with power
He can tempt you
and lead you astray
[unsettling music]