Dashing Through the Snow (2025) Movie Script

1
(suspenseful music)
(bright festive music)
(gentle music)
- Next year, I'm
decorating this entire tree
in ornaments of you and
our first year together.
Babies' first everything.
Christmas, Easter.
Sleeps through the night.
First poop. (chuckles)
Everything.
(gentle music)
I really hope we get a white Christmas.
(gentle music)
(subtle music)
Nothing can harm you
more than your own unguarded thoughts.
Nothing can harm you
more than your own unguarded thoughts.
Nothing can harm you
more than your own unguarded thoughts.
(gentle music)
Mary
Where my homie Santa with the gifts
He told me that he
double checked the list
One time, two times, do a fly by
Going in the flash
He'll be done by sunrise
Where my homie Santa
with the gifts, where he at
He told me that he
double check the list
One time, two time, third time charm
Imagine all the joy that
we'll feel in the morning
(air whooshing)
- The tree is being decorated.
- [Merv] Copy. Wait, what's that code for?
- Nothing. Just the, the
tree is being decorated,
with tinsel.
Eww.
- [Merv] What's your beef with tinsel?
- Other than strippers
using it as a stage name
during the holidays?
I've been made abort. Abort.
- [Merv] No. No. Jo, don't.
Do not abort.
- Hey Auntie Jo.
- Noel.
- Thank you for checking on me.
You wanna hang out on
your cruiser like usual?
- And miss the opportunity
to solicit charitable donations
for those in need?
- Noble. Wanna come inside?
- Nope. I'm good. Thanks.
- That, for me?
- I, I was gonna sneak in
and hide it under the tree
when your dad wasn't there.
- If the two of you would just communicate,
you'll get why he is not
upset at you anymore.
- For trying to protect my family?
Maybe could be that I'm just still upset
about his role in things,
and he can really just pick up the phone
and call me if he wants to chat.
- Come on. Tomorrow is Christmas.
- You gonna open it?
- No way. Is it?
- It's waterproof and has a GPS tracker.
- Oh, I know. Did you know that stores data
and I can call and text without signal?
- No, but I just figured
that since we can't be
together for Christmas,
we can still communicate.
- If the two of you will just communicate,
we can be together on Christmas.
- [Merv] Jo, are you there
or did you finally suck it up
and get the nerve to go
talk to your brother, Nick?
- That's a negative, Merv.
Santa has not left the sleigh.
- [Merv] Hey, Noel.
Well, tell your Aunt Santa
that we got a hit on the skip,
but that we could handle it,
and for her to go make
things right with your pops.
- No, no, no. I, I, I'm on my way.
- [Merv] Jo, stay. I can take the lead.
- Send me the locale.
- [Merv] Ugh. Merry Christmas, Noel.
- Same. Enjoy your Christmas.
- Here. Do me a favor
and drop that off, will you?
- Well, you collected it quite a bit.
- People just emptied their pockets
when they saw the gun.
Merry Christmas kiddo.
- I wish that we can all
celebrate Christmas together
as a family.
- Not gonna happen.
- Don't forget, Santa always delivers.
(car door bangs)
- [Merv] So our guy is in a
black SUV right up ahead
just texted you the plate.
- Oh, great. At this rate,
we'll be there by New Year's.
- [Merv] I could have
handled this, you know.
- Yes, you could have Merv,
but then I would've been
left to deal with my emotions
instead of chasing some asshole perp who...
- Skip trace, house arrest, not bail.
He's wearing some bougie outfit.
- Chose to sit in traffic on Christmas Eve.
- Maybe he's trying to avoid his emotions
and family too.
- Well played, Merv.
He is a sitting duck moving in.
(gun clicks)
- No, no, no, no, too dangerous.
There's civilians everywhere.
Let's just tail him and
see where he is headed.
- Probably some dingy airport
about two miles up the way.
- Oh, my garland.
He's on foot. He just ran
across five lanes traffic.
And he is running on the shoulder lane.
And you're not gonna believe who's here.
- Golden, you son of...
(dramatic music)
Faster, faster. Move, faster.
Get him, get him.
Get him!
(dramatic music)
- We're gonna get this guy.
We're gonna get him.
(dramatic music)
- Ah, dammit Merv, I told you.
- Just get off the next exit.
They just went over a fence.
(dramatic music)
- How'd you get off the freeway, man?
You didn't think we were gonna get you?
- Yeah.
Dumb man.
Such a dummy.
(indistinct)
Yeah, no more ducking,
no more ducking (laughs)
(indistinct)
And that is a gold standard
bounty (indistinct).
Right there. Right there.
What do you think, one more take?
Maybe a choke hold or something.
- We got the best shots ever, bro.
- You sure?
Viral golden hit.
Viral golden hit.
(Golden speaking indistinctly)
(car wheels screeching)
- You're part of this, man.
You're part of this.
One million view.
- Can't wait to edit this thing.
Ain't got time for this.
Go, go, go, go. Come on, man.
Homie, homie.
- [Participant] Done.
- Move man, go.
- Oh, Jo, Jo, Jo.
Merry Christmas, Santa.
You know while you elves
were playing dress up.
Me and mine right here
snatched this (indistinct)
and raked in 50K.
Isn't that like half your salary?
No, your entire salary, right?
- Close with benefits
it's more like 55, 56.
- How in the, how do you
even support a family on that?
- [Merv] Tell me about it.
- No kidding.
I like it. Nice outfit.
It's cute.
Let's go.
- Let's go Jo. You ready?
(upbeat music)
(participants chattering indistinctly)
(upbeat music)
- You're fired Johnston!
- What?
(Winter laughing)
- Those will be the only words
you hear coming out of my mouth.
If that ever happens again, you hear me?
- So, so I'm, I'm not fired?
- Oh, no. I'm not gonna
fire you on Christmas eve,
but I'm also not going to
allow you or that bounty hunter
to make the marshals look ridiculous.
- I have no idea how he
even knew about the perp
or got there first.
- Neither do I,
and I don't care.
But what I do care about,
your head has been up your
ass since that little snafu.
And that this being your strike two,
and if it ever happens again...
- You're gonna kill me.
- No, you're just done, fired.
Capiche.
- Yeah.
- Now perk out and go
enjoy the Christmas party
that you clearly all
nice and dressed up for.
- No, this was...
- Carry on.
- Yeah.
Carry on.
Jingle bells
Jingle bells, jingle all the way
Oh, what fun is is to have
A great Marshall today
Jingle bells, Jingle bells
He took all the day
- [Merv] Hey, Jo, you okay?
What did Winter say?
- [Jo] To suck less at my job.
- So where are you going?
- To do exactly that.
- What about the party?
I mean, the guys put
together this Christmas party,
Yankee Swap.
- Well, that does sound awesome.
I wanna know where
Crooked Manhattan millionaire
was headed on Christmas Eve.
My guess it's the same reason his wife
has been missing since
she was supposed to testify.
I'm just not in the spirit.
- I thought you might say that.
Which is why I snagged the best
sweater for the best partner.
Huh? Look at baby Jesus.
Doesn't he look happy?
- Okay, Merv, seriously?
I, you know, I gotta work, so thank you.
Very kind of you, but.
- Oh, I'm, I'm coming too then.
- Nice outfits.
Pretty festive.
- Oh, Peter Newton,
you know the conditions surrounding
your release awaiting trial
prohibit you from leaving your house
other than to go to court.
- Do they?
- Yeah, sure do.
And being that we didn't find you in court.
- Technically you didn't find me.
- I did, I was right behind you.
- Regardless being that
you weren't found in court
by whomever and that your
wife Mary has been missing
for about 10 months.
I can't help but wonder if your discovery
might have something to
do with her disappearance.
Hmm.
I mean, trust me, I get it (chuckles)
It's the holidays, there's a snowfall out
and you're feeling nostalgic and lonely,
missing your family.
And I bet you just figured, you know what?
No one's gonna notice if
a douchebag millionaire
just violates his, his house arrest order
for a couple of hours.
I'll just slip away to the
site where I buried my wife
before the snow makes
it too hard to find it.
- Wait, what?
- No.
- Fine.
You don't refer to yourself
as a douchebag, we do.
- No, not that.
I mean, yes, that,
but I didn't kill my wife.
Mary's not dead.
- [Jo And Merv] She's not.
- No.
- Then where is she?
- [Merv] Hey, Jo. Jo.
Now where are you going?
- We have been looking for this man's wife
for nearly a year.
So we are going to
find her and bring her in
before she runs again, or Golden gets her,
or that snobby prick can have her offed.
- Sure. But I mean, do we have to go
do it right now, tonight?
It's Christmas Eve, we're having a party.
- Yeah.
- You know, she's not going anywhere.
Neither should we.
- We aren't. You are gonna stay here
and make sure that that schmuck
doesn't get his call before I drag her in.
And then you are gonna go home
and have the most delightfully
merry first Christmas with your wife.
- And what about you?
- Well, I'm flying solo.
I mean this chick's on the lam for,
for avoiding testifying,
not for hanging on our most wanted tree.
- I was talking about
Christmas with your family,
Noel, Nick.
- Well, it won't be the first time
the job gets in the way, will it?
And you know what? I'll
wear this guy for good luck.
- Jesus.
- Try again.
- I mean, sir.
- Is that you?
- Well...
- Were you taking a dump on my precinct?
Sometimes things just
don't go according to plan, sir.
We did our best.
- Oh, come...
Congratulations, Merv.
I had no idea that doing your best
was on par with a
holiday themed circus act.
- Peter is in custody now, sir.
- (laughs) Yeah.
Thanks to some reality show
wannabe and not a Marshall.
Call me impressed.
- Understood.
It won't happen again next time, sir.
- Oh, you damn right,
because if I even catch
wind the two of you,
make a screw up like that again,
you'll both be decking the
halls at another precinct.
You got it?
- Yes sir.
- Go on. Gimme my sweater.
Oh, pronto. Let's go.
Go on, go on.
(indistinct)Let's get it over. Let's go.
- Look, got this custom made just for you.
Guys, right (laughs)
It lights up.
- Yeah.
Yeah.
Look like you are (laughs)
(mumbles)
You woo, you out did yourself again, Merv.
- Just make sure you don't forget
to take the batteries out when you wash it.
- [Winter] That's good to hear, Merv.
(dramatic music)
(participant shouting)
- Any other night, buddy.
(dramatic music)
(car door bangs)
(dramatic music)
(car engine revving)
(knock on door)
- Oh, thank goodness you made it.
I was so nervous with the storm.
I mean, can you believe all of this?
I guess nature likes to remind us
what it means to be human, right?
Oh my God, your sweater.
Literally the best.
I've had a lot of free time on
my hand, so I did in my own,
but yours with those pants.
And you brought a gun. Excellent.
I'm nonviolent, of course,
other than my Krav Maga for self-defense.
So I don't touch those things.
But that's what you're here for, right?
- Yeah.
- Okay. Come in, come in, come in.
It's so cold outside. Woo.
Come on in.
Go ahead and make yourself at home.
- So you, you're alone here?
- Yeah.
- And you're, you're pregnant.
- (laughs) And you're hilarious.
Which is actually a
relief, I was so nervous
the agency was gonna send a dud
and I'd be stuck with
a Grinch for Christmas.
- You received a call from the agency?
- Mhm.
Just a bit ago.
- I gave 'em one job.
(suspenseful music)
- You know, you coming alone,
I got the impression you'd be a lot bigger.
- That's what the gun's for.
- Of course, you have to forgive me.
My pregnancy brain has had a 10,
but I'm sure you're more
than familiar with that.
Mm. Are you hungry?
I have some cookies baking in the oven.
They should be ready in a few.
- No, I'm, I'm good.
- Well, feel free to
use a kitchen, obviously.
You know, do you have a bag?
Did you leave it outside?
Do you wanna go go outside
and get it before the storm worsens?
At least you can come back in
and we can go over the birth plan
and the next steps...
- No, I'm good.
I got everything I need here.
I'm good.
- Wow. Mm.
- [Jo] I'm good.
- Impressive.
- As much as I'd love for
this to last through New Year's,
I can't not see us being on the road
in about 10 to 15 minutes,
- (chuckles) Minutes, you are hilarious.
You know, I read that it can take anywhere
from eight to 15 hours
and that's after you induce me, Sasha.
- Sasha, induce?
Exactly what, what agency do you think
that I work for, Mary?
(suspenseful music)
- How do you know my real name?
- My name's Jo Johnston,
and I work for the US Marshal Service.
- Look, I didn't do anything
that I'm accused of.
- I couldn't care less.
It is not my job to judge
you or determine that,
but it is my job to transport
you back to our offices
where you can then choose whether or not
you wanna go into witness protection
prior to testifying against your husband
like you agreed to do or join him at trial.
- I am not going anywhere
until my midwife gets
here and I have my baby.
- Baby, baby.
That's why you fled.
And Sasha is your midwife
and she's coming here tonight?
- I'm being induced for Christmas.
- Well, how festive.
Yeah, that kind of sounds like a song.
- Do you honestly think
that I would've hugged you
and gave you cookies if I had known
you were a marshal and not my midwife?
- You know what?
We're gonna wait here for Sasha then.
- Yeah.
- [Mary] Really?
- Oh, absolutely.
'Cause babysitting you tonight
is getting me out of going home
and spending Christmas with my brother.
So...
- Okay, so now what?
- I'm gonna call this in
and and we're gonna wait
and you know, you can, you
can choose whether or not
you wanna go into witness
protection with your baby
or, or prison without.
But if you try to run or fight,
or negotiate your way out of this,
your ass is gonna be
dragged outta here in cuffs.
You got me?
(dramatic music)
I'll take one of those cookies now.
- Alright. All right. We're
getting there. We're getting there.
(indistinct) any donkeys.
Hey, right there.
- What?
- Right there.
- Oh yeah.
Wow. This is it...
if it isn't the Mary
Marshall, what you think?
- Oh yeah.
- Yeah. Let's do it.
Which way should we get in there?
What do you think?
Should we go to this creek right here?
Like down the creek?
Or wait, wait, hold on.
You know what I care about?
- No, let's go down the rocks on this side.
- I don't care for views dude,
nobody cares about
getting in there sneaking.
Nobody cares.
How many views do you think we get?
Because last time we did it,
we had the tracking shot
following him and he came in last.
- [Participant] Right, right, right.
- Let's do it that way.
- [Mary] So what's with the outfit
if you're not a fan of Christmas?
- Oh, I'm not, not a fan of
Christmas. I love Christmas.
- Then why are you trying to get outta
spending it with your family?
- Work.
Can I, can I use your phone please?
- I don't have one.
Oh, I thought you meant a landline.
- [Jo] No.
- Ah, so that's how you found me.
- Earlier today we found Peter,
intercepted him en route here.
- [Mary] Peter was headed here?
- To kill you. We believe.
- So Jo, what is it exactly
you're supposed to do?
Transport me, keep me safe.
Maybe take a bullet for me
to ensure that I testify against him.
- Well, the former, yes,
but as for the latter, no.
No one's taken any bullets.
Not unless you try to run.
In which case I'm more
likely to shoot you with one
than take one for you.
- Hmm. So, according to your hypothetical,
you'd be perfectly comfortable
shooting a pregnant woman on Christmas.
- Christmas, no, no.
Christmas Eve.
That's different.
Although obviously I'd
aim for below the equator.
You know, like the thigh,
knee, maybe the foot.
- Well, Jo's here.
- [Participant] Yeah, I got the marshal.
- I mean, the marshal is here.
You know she's gonna
have a gun of some sort.
- Battery. I need another battery.
Okay, you guys ready?
- Let's do it.
- I'll swap out the battery and then...
- Alright.
- Yeah, let's do it.
- [Participant] Let's go.
- Alright.
- I'll go first.
You trail. Cool.
- [Participant] Alright.
- Alright.
- You know what looks like these cookies
need a few more minutes.
Should be done by the time
I get back from the bathroom.
You don't mind, do you?
This one's just leaning
right up against my bladder.
- What? Your phone.
I'll get it on the way back.
(suspenseful music)
- You know what?
I'm just gonna do a little
peek-a-doodle-do around here.
Make sure you can't get out.
Okay?
Yep. Alright.
- Do your thing.
- Alright, thank you.
- Yep.
(dramatic music)
Hey, Mary.
(dramatic music)
- No, no.
I'm not letting anyone take my baby.
I'm not going anywhere.
No!
- What's that smell?
The cookies.
(fire alarm beeping)
Hey.
Hey, you come back here.
You!
- Oh come on, don't run.
All I want for Christmas is you.
- Yeah.
- What the...?
- Not tonight.
Him, not you.
Also, where were you
gonna run in this cold?
- Away.
- Come on, Jo. Hand her over. All right.
Just go back and hang out with your family.
Spend a little time with them tonight.
The ones I haven't put in
jail already, how about that?
(gun clicks)
(suspenseful music)
- Not a chance.
- Okay, fine. I'll split the
prize money with you.
Will that work?
50 grand sound good?
- Yeah, it sure is.
And if you're willing to give me 50K,
I bet she's worth double that to you.
- Well, that's kind of idea, split.
- You know what I mean?
Like 50 K times two.
Times two.
- 200,000.
- Yeah, exactly. 200,000.
- Okay. Whatever. $100, does that work?
- Uh-uh, no.
Back off, Golden.
You know the rule. Finder's keepers.
- Not with 200K at stake.
Alright, uncuff her, I'm
gonna, I'm gonna take her.
- You mean like uncuff her with this?
- Yeah.
- Oops, went into the creek there. Sorry.
- (indistinct) aren't those standard
issued law enforcement cuffs?
- Dumb.
(dramatic music)
- There's a universal key, moron.
Get 'em.
- No, my god.
- Get off. No! (gun shot)
(Jo screaming)
- [Mary] Have you been shot?
(gun shots)
- What are you doing?
- [Mary] I'm saving your life.
- Put me down, I'd rather die.
(gun shots)
(participant screaming)
(car honking) (gun shots)
(car crashing)
(fire crackling)
- [Mary] Get the door.
(Jo panting loudly)
- Oh god.
I did not need you to do that.
- Not that I had a choice now, did I?
And it's the least I could do
for you taking a bullet for me.
- That was not on purpose. Trust me.
I'm more than likely to not ever know
how to shoot you myself.
- You are the forger of your own peace.
You are the forger of your own peace.
Whew. Manifesting.
- Now?
Really?
- Yeah. It helps me.
Calms me down.
Ooh, you should try it.
Close your eyes. Come on.
The quieter you are, the more you hear.
(gun shots)
- Oh my God.
All I hear, all I hear
is the sound of bullets
ricocheting off these
windows from the hitman
your husband hired to kill you.
- He wouldn't do that.
- No. No.
It's all just a huge coincidence.
Him, the hitman, Golden.
- Yeah, and who was he?
Another Marshall?
- Does he look like a Marshall?
He is a wannabe celebrity bounty hunter
and the fricking bane of my existence.
- Oh, so not a friend and a
professional colleague, huh?
- Definitely not.
He is a bitter rival.
And I'll let the hitman get
you before I ever let Golden.
- I was being facetious.
So what family member
did he put behind bars?
Is that why you're avoiding Christmas?
- Hey, focus, quick.
Kill these lights.
- Make it harder for whoever your husband
didn't hire to kill you to see inside here.
You do not have that.
- What?
It's like one of the best
inventions of the '80s.
Ooh, ooh, ooh.
- You know what we, we
gotta get you to a hospital.
- I'm waiting for my midwife.
- Uh-uh. No you're not.
Where is your phone?
Where is it?
- [Mary] I must have dropped it outside.
- Oh, how convenient.
- Given the situation. I kind of disagree.
- Okay, what is your wifi password?
You don't know.
Okay, look, there's
one on the router, okay.
But creating your own wifi password
literally one of the number
one ways to get hacked.
- Where's the router?
- Game room downstairs.
(suspenseful music)
- Hey, it's me.
Yeah, my phone didn't have any signals,
So I'm on Mary's phone.
No, but there's somebody else here though.
- [Frankie] Go and get him.
Now. Go, go, go, go.
- So, how does someone like you...
- So, how does someone like you...
- Get into sewing?
- Get familiar with labor?
It's just one of those hobbies I picked up
to pass the time since my husband left me.
- Going on the lam.
Sorry, sorry. Didn't...
- It's okay.
I guess the two aren't
entirely mutually exclusive,
but you know, it's only so much you can do
when you're all alone
trying to avoid people
and being found.
- And pregnant.
- Yeah, and pregnant.
Me, I picked up sewing
and baking, reading.
- Yeah.
- Krav Maga, spinning, meditating.
- Wow, yeah.
- Pretty much anything I
could do while being alone
to avoid asking the question
why my husband left me
for a sorority pledgee.
- Yeah, too bad you couldn't just drink.
- Oh, I drink a lot.
Yep, fetal alcohol syndrome, guaranteed.
- Oh!
- I'm kidding (chuckles)
No, seriously I am.
Not a drop. Not a drop.
So you and labor,
you can't have kids?
- What?
- Oh my God.
You had a miscarriage, didn't you?
I'm, I'm, I'm so sorry.
- No, no, no, no, no, no.
I didn't have any miscarriage, Jesus.
Why can't I have kids?
- I don't know. Why can't you?
- What? No, no.
I mean, I can, I think it's just,
why do you think I don't already do?
- Because you're here
trying to avoid your family on Christmas.
- I mean, doesn't everyone.
- Avoid their family on Christmas?
- And every other holiday.
- No. Holidays are meant for family.
- Well, you clearly don't have kids.
- Well, soon
and I plan on spending
every single one with this one.
- My brother is an OB,
if you know you need.
- Oh, what's the niece who can sew.
- Yeah.
- You know, I don't understand
why you're trying to avoid family
that makes you light
up like a Christmas tree.
- Just my brother.
- Why? What happened?
- Long story.
- Had anything to do with
what your blonde bestie said about you.
Who he put behind bars.
- You know what? It is
gonna be a Christmas miracle
if I don't shoot you tonight.
- Geez. I'm sorry. Just joking.
- Don't.
- Yikes.
Well, what happened? I mean, who, who...
- No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
We are not doing this.
We are not a bunch of gals
chatting about the fam over Christmas.
I am a Marshall, you are a fugitive.
- I'm not a fugitive. I'm a witness.
- Yeah, who flipped on her husband
after being arrested
with him for embezzlement
and then fled to avoid testifying.
Making you a fugitive.
- I fled to have my baby
not to avoid testifying.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Having a kid with him to
keep him from leaving you
after you flip on him.
Whew. That's smart.
- I'm not having a child to keep him.
And I only agreed to testify against him
after the FBI informed me about his affair
and his plan to frame me for embezzlement.
- Yeah.
- It's not flipping
if I was innocent from the beginning.
- Yeah, I'm sure you knew
nothing about it (chuckles)
Jesus, you sound just like my brother.
- Oh, so now you wanna talk about family.
- You know what?
Shut up and seal it.
We're leaving.
- No, I told you I'm not going anywhere
until my midwife gets here.
- Did your pregnancy brain make you forget
about the hitman who's
out there trying to kill you?
You think he's just gonna wait for us?
He is coming in here where
we won't be when he arrives.
- Okay. So we're supposed
to go where he already is?
- Yes. We just need to get to the car
and you need to pee.
I thought you really had to pee.
- It's called performance anxiety.
It's a little hard to pee
with you sitting right next to me.
(dramatic music)
(wheel pressure gashing)
(dramatic music)
- Clearly a bunch of people want you shot.
I knew it couldn't just
be your husband and me.
- Well, you can shoot us outta here, right?
- Shoot us out?
- Yeah. You know. Bang bang. Pow pow.
- What is this, a 1950s western?
And who are you?
I thought you were non-violent.
- I am, but you are not.
I mean, that's what I
hired you for, remember?
- Well, yeah. When I was
supposed to be your midwife.
Also what kind of midwife
walks around with an unconcealed gun?
- [Mary] Can you get us outta here or not?
- Well, I mean, are there any other exits?
- Well, there's a, a window
in the garage. The game room.
- Okay.
That's probably the closest.
Well, where does that take us?
- Outside, duh.
Well, a creek.
- So your plan is either
I shoot us outta here
or we go for a polar bear
plunge in a freezing creek.
- You have a better plan?
Please share.
- Oh, okay.
There's the pee.
(indistinct)
(suspenseful music)
- [Frankie] Check upstairs.
- [Jo] Put this on.
- What?
Oh god. A lot of good this did you?
- Well, it's not designed to
protect your leg or your head.
- Well, what if I just shot there?
- Don't. Also avoid the
belly and, and the sides.
- Great.
- All right, here we go.
(dramatic music)
- The Slay Bell. Frankie silent night.
- Oh, whoops.
Naughty or nice.
It doesn't matter if you're on my hit list.
(gun shots)
That's the sound of a man
not collecting this bounty.
Feliz Navidad.
(gun shots)
(dramatic music)
You see Santa is full of surprises,
but I gotta say, dead looks good on you.
Why am I talking to a dead man?
I've gotta make some friends.
Cookies. Santa loves cookies.
We all know that much, huh?
- Oopsie. Vest.
Santa forgot to check twice.
I'm not that easy to
knock off the Naughty list.
- Say hello to my little helpers.
(dramatic music)
You've got a knack elf tossing.
Go downstairs. Get 'em.
- [Golden] That was my gun.
Billy?
(dramatic music)
- [Mary] What are you doing?
- [Jo] Where's the router?
(Mary groaning)
Did you just fake a contraction?
- What? No.
- [Jo] Then why'd you make that noise?
- What noise?
- Not that noise.
- [Mary] No, they're coming.
We gotta keep moving.
- If you don't get
serious, they'll kill us.
- If that's what you manifest, sure.
You're supposed to be protecting me.
- That's what I'm trying to do.
- Are you kidding me?
Yeah. Yeah.
(glasses shattering)
- Serious?
(glasses shattering) (dramatic music)
- Cringe-worthy.
- But you missed my jingle ball.
(dramatic music)
(Golden and Frankie groaning)
(dramatic music)
Silent night
Holy night
(Frankie groaning)
(dramatic music)
(indistinct)
(indistinct)
Okay.
Why isn't this working, Mary?
- Of course, it's not working.
- What do you mean of
course it's not working.
The password is on the router.
- I know.
I said there's one on the router.
The default password.
I didn't say I used it.
Come on using the default password
is the number one way to get hacked.
- Oh my gosh. You cannot be serious.
Enter the password.
- They're coming. We gotta keep moving.
- [Jo] Absolutely not.
- You are wasting time,
and we are gonna get killed.
- Yeah, if that's what
you wanna manifest. Sure.
Hey, I'm Mary and I'm not going anywhere.
What? Oh, you know what?
On second thought, let's run.
Wait, you wanna help me
and my baby get outta here,
then I'm gonna stay.
Oh, no. Oh no.
You've called for help here. Time to run.
- Stop. You sound like a baby.
- Yeah, imitating you.
Now, do you want my help or not, Mary?
- All I wanna do is to protect my baby.
- Then do that.
- Here.
- Okay.
- That's what you get for
killing my buddies, Santa.
(phone ringing)
(dramatic music)
Now where did this elf go with my gun?
- You better hope he picks up.
I can't believe that you lied.
- I didn't lie. I withheld.
And can you not?
You're kind of jogging things
down here unnecessarily.
(dramatic music)
(phone ringing)
Come on.
They're gonna get in.
(dramatic music)
(door crushing)
(dramatic music)
- Oh, ah, the skip's
here and she's in labor.
Yeah. Yeah, and there's a
hitman here and Golden too.
They're in the house.
I need your help, back up and an ambulance.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Did, did you just say
that the skip is pregnant
and there's a hitman there.
- Yes, and Golden too.
- Okay, well, where's the skip now?
- [Jo] I have her.
- [Peter] What hitman?
- The one you hired to
kill your pregnant wife?
- I didn't hire a hitman.
But wait, Mary's pregnant?
(dramatic music)
Oh, damn. What the hell is that for?
- Don't play dumb with me.
- I'm not.
I swear I didn't, and
I, I didn't hire a hitman.
Why would I do that when
I'm going back to see her?
She's pregnant.
- Yeah.
So if you didn't hire a hit
man, then who would've?
- Former client maybe.
We stole a lot of money
from a lot of, a lot of people.
- You know who did it.
You're still owed a phone call.
Let's go. Come on.
(dramatic music)
(gun shots)
(dramatic music)
- Get something.
(dramatic music)
Those are some serious
Krav Maga skills you got here, huh?
Get it, Jo.
- [Mary] Okay, I'm on it. I'm on it
(dramatic music)
- Shoot him.
- For someone who's nonviolent,
you want an unhealthy
number of people shot,
you know that, right?
(dramatic music)
(Elf crying)
(dramatic music)
- Going under. I got him.
Oh my God.
- [Mary] You better
get down that little axe
away from my baby.
(dramatic music)
Get back.
You are not touching me or my baby.
(dramatic music)
- Self-defense only.
- Yeah, he, he's fine.
- Ah, bad idea.
(dramatic music)
- I don't want it back. Let's go.
(dramatic music)
(gentle music)
- [Mary] Gotta get outta here now.
- Hey, you know what?
I'm just gonna slow you
down with my leg like this.
Here, take my phone.
It's also my key to my
car, which is right out there.
As soon as you get
service, call my brother, Nick.
He's listed in my phone as Douchecanoe.
He's a douche, but he's, he's
never not been there for me.
So when you call him,
tell him what happened and where you are,
and he'll come.
And I will take care of Golden
and whoever else is out there.
And you go start your family.
- What are you talking about?
- I am not gonna let me or
my job ruin another family.
I've already done it once
and it's why I'm here now.
You know?
- I mean, what are you talking about?
- Oh, who knew you
could have pregnancy brain
when you're not even pregnant. (laughs)
Ya. The thing is...
- You had the key in your
pocket the entire time.
(dramatic music)
- Yeah, Golden dropped it when he ran.
- Oh, God.
- It is the only way I could ensure
that you wouldn't run off on me.
After all you did lie to me
about the whole password
and router thing, so
technically we're even.
- I didn't lie.
I withheld to protect my baby.
- I mean, so did I.
- You, you watched me pee.
- I mean, I tried my best not to look.
- Come on.
- Well, I wish you had,
you would've seen a small human
trying to escape from my vagina.
- (laughs) How metaphoric.
All right.
I guess I am coming with you.
(bright music)
(Sasha speaking in foreign language)
Okay. All right. Mother with child first.
- No, I insist you first,
so you can help me down.
- Okay, yeah. Yeah. Smart.
Yeah. Okay.
Oh man, my leg. Ooh.
- [Mary] Okay. Careful.
- Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Oh, good thing there's a bar out here.
Oh.
Okay.
- Watch yourself.
Alright.
- Mary?
Mary?
What the hell are you doing?
- [Mary] Maternal instinct.
- What?
For the a millionth time.
I'm trying to protect you, Mary.
- I see that, but witness protection
was not a part of my birth plan.
I'm sorry, Jo.
Remember, your focus
determines your reality.
- The reality is there's
henchmen and a hitman in there
and it is not safe for you.
- [Mary] That's what this is for.
- What?
Wait, wait.
I didn't think you would
even touch those things.
- I'll do anything to protect my baby.
- Well, what are you gonna do?
Shoot up the place.
- Yeah, but only in self-defense
against those who are trying to kill me.
(phone dings)
Oh,
it's Noel.
I'll let her know you'll
see her later today.
Jo, remember,
manifest success.
- No, Mary.
Mary I'm gonna manifest
throwing your ass in jail
when I get back in there.
Mary!
(dramatic music)
(gentle music)
(mumbles)
Focus determines your reality.
Manifest success.
The quieter you become,
the more you can hear.
(bright music)
(Sasha whistling)
(laughs)
Mary.
I have Merry Christmas not you.
No Merry Christmas for them.
Too bad, so sad.
Okay, alright, (indistinct) (gun shots)
- Who are you?
- Where is she?
- I asked you first, Drago.
- Drago's uncle.
He lose and not I.
Nice sweater, but I think mine's better.
Tell me where she is or
I do the same to you?
- I don't know.
And I wouldn't tell your ugly
oversized KGBS even if I did.
- Okay, suit yourself.
Suit yourself.
Gun's fake.
- What?
- It's not real.
If you don't tell me where Teresa is
I'll break you like pretzel.
- Teresa?
- [Sasha] Yes.
- Teresa...
- How do you know my real name?
I told you I'm not going anywhere
until my midwife gets here.
- The midwife, Sasha?
- Okay, okay, now how, how,
how you, how you know that?
- The midwife.
- No, no. I'm midwife.
(Sasha screaming) (dramatic music)
You are imposter.
Imposter.
You are imposter.
Imposter.
(Mary panting)
- (indistinct) pig, you are imposter.
- I'm not imposter.
I'm a, I'm a Marshall.
I'm here to help Mary.
To protect her.
- I don't know Mary.
- The baby, labor.
- Maybe your Mary is my Teresa.
- Yes.
What the hell kind of a midwife are you?
- A midwife that, that
protect child new to life.
- Oh, you're a coyote.
No wonder Mary had to wait.
- Yeah. Yeah. So yeah. Yeah. Okay.
Yes, I'm Coyote, I'm, I'm midwife.
I do DJ too.
DJ Sasha is on the radio
sometimes in Russia.
You know, Mariah?
All I want for Christmas
- Okay.
- Hands up
- You gotta...
- You gotta find Mary,
'cause we, we've got a baby.
- You've got a baby to deliver.
- Baby.
- Yes, baby. You're right.
- Yeah.
I forgot about the baby.
-Okay.
- Hey, look, you know,
I'm, I'm really sorry
about that whole ugly oversight.
- It, it's fine, it's fine.
I, I am former KGB though.
I'm, I'm former KGB and big.
I'm, I'm very, very big.
But the ugly...
- Yeah. That was like totally,
totally unnecessary.
- I dunno, I dunno about the ugly.
The ugly was, it was a lot.
- It was unnecessary.
- It was a lot.
- It's heat of the moment kind of stuff.
- Heat of the moment.
- It, it, it kind of hurt.
- It, it hurt me a little.
- Yeah. Yeah. No,
it was heat of the moment
and I'm, I'm real sorry.
- It's, it's fine.
- Yeah, yeah.
Please, it's okay.
I tried to kill you, so we're even.
We're even, huh?
- [Jo] Cool.
- Yeah, you did.
- Right?
- Okay.
- Yeah.
- Okay. Okay.
- Mary.
- Mary, yes.
Okay, let's go.
- Yeah.
- After, after me,
or after you.
- Our future depends on
what we do in the present.
Inhale the future.
Exhale the past.
A star begins to fill with a single drop.
A journey begins with a single step.
(Sasha speaking indistinctly)
(gun clicks)
(Sasha speaking indistinctly)
...friends with polar bear.
- His name is...
(gun shot)
- Oh my God.
Mary, why?
- Breast pump, it helps speed up labor.
I figured I could move a lot quicker
with the baby on the outside.
- Not that, that.
- I told you I would do what I
had to do to protect my baby.
- No, but that, that,
that man was trying to protect your baby.
- Who?
- Him. That's Sasha.
- [Mary] What?
- Or was.
- Oh my God.
Jo, what have I done?
No, no, no, no, no.
Before tonight, I was a
nonviolent law abiding citizen
who wouldn't touch a gun.
Now I'm a gun-toting murderer.
- But you're, you're not a, a murderer.
You're a...
- I'm sorry.
- I mean No, no, you're just...
You thought that he was gonna harm you
and clearly shot him in self defense.
And that makes you a
manslaughterer at most.
- He wasn't just my
midwife, he was my coyote.
- I know.
- I withheld that too.
- Why?
- Because you never would've let us stay
and wait for him if you'd
known he was coming here
to deliver my baby and get us outta here.
- Then why bother with a coyote?
Why not just go into witness protection
if you're trying to, you know, start fresh.
- I already told you I
can't begin to tell you
the things I've gone
through to carry this baby.
- Begin.
- All I ever wanted was a family.
But Peter wanted...
- So you are having this
baby to try to keep him.
- What?
No. Peter wanted the
business, that was his baby.
So I had to put mine on hold.
Before we launched the firm,
I froze my eggs.
I thought that if I helped
give Peter what he wanted,
he'd do the same for me.
But he didn't,
instead he cheated on me
and left me for one
of our youngest clients.
Used our business to
embezzle millions with her,
and then tried to frame me for all of it.
And it was only after the
FBI informed me of all of that,
that I agreed to testify and
go into witness protection.
I thought that I could start a new life
and a family on my own.
The only problem was that the eggs
belonged to Mary Newton, not Theresa Brady.
If I went into witness
protection, IVF was out,
and I didn't wanna wait for
what I wanted any longer.
- Well, then why didn't
you just do the in vitro
and then go into witness protection?
- Definitely would've been
a lot easier than fleeing,
avoiding people and being found.
- [Jo] Yeah, and safer too for both of us.
- [Mary] You're right about that.
- Yeah.
- But honestly, I just didn't
wanna start my baby's life out with a lie,
after I had in vitro
and found out I was pregnant, I just ran.
And I've been having to
lie as a result ever since.
- Yeah, that happens.
- What happens?
- Doing the exact opposite
of what you set out to do.
- Your brother?
- All I ever wanted to
do was protect my family.
That's why I became a
marshal in the first place.
- [Mary] Well, what happened?
- I found out his wife
was running a catfishing
and money laundering ring online
and I arrested her and,
yeah.
- [Mary] And you and your
brother had a falling out
because you put your
badge in front of your family?
- Sort of.
Our falling out stemmed
more from the fact that
I accused my brother of
knowing what she was doing
and putting his family in peril
by turning a blind eye to it.
And then things didn't
really get any better
when I tried to remedy the situation
by vouching for her with the courts
so that she could get bail
only to have her skip out
on my brother, my niece,
and the court date resulting in...
- Golden.
- Yeah.
(bright music)
(phone ringing)
- [Caller] Is it true that she's pregnant?
Frankie Anthony?
Press the key if you can hear me.
- Yeah, Slay Bell ain't pressing anything.
He's a silent one now.
- [Caller] Oh, I see. I don't
care what happened to him.
All I care about is getting what I want.
Now tell me, who is this?
- You can call me, The Grinch.
- [Caller] The Grinch.
No, I'm not calling you that.
- Okay, Golden's fine then.
- [Caller] You're that Bounty Hunter, huh?
Listen to me very carefully, Golden.
Forget about the measly
200,000 bounty you're after.
Deliver Mary to me with the baby
along with Peter and I'll pay you
what Frankie was going to get,
1 million dollars.
- So in trying to protect my
family, I ruined it instead.
- Jo, you didn't ruin it.
You did what you thought was best for Noel
and Douchecanoe, right?
Things falling apart
sometimes is a testing and also a healing.
Just call him and make things right.
- Absolutely not.
- Please.
- [Jo] Nope.
- For me.
- Nope.
We are not gonna do this.
We've already been through this.
I have tried to make
amends and you know what,
I- like, it's not my fault
that his wife up and left.
And, you know, I have, I have
literally sat outside of that house
every day watching Noel
every time he's been on
call for the last six months,
so that my decision to
arrest his criminal wife
didn't become a financial
burden for him or his family.
You know, calling me is
the least that he can do.
- No, I mean, now.
Please, Jo for me, please.
- Really.
- I need you to get this
baby outta me safely.
- Oh, ooh.
- Okay.
Nick.
- [Nick] Hey, Jo, you okay?
And tell me about the mother.
- I'm fine. What?
Wait, how do you know about the, what?
- [Nick] Noel, your texts.
Come on.
- Did you text my brother?
- I told you I was going to.
- What the hell did you say?
- Nothing.
Oh, Merry Christmas.
And that you were sorry,
and you couldn't wait to spend Christmas
with your family.
- Mary, what in the actual...
- [Nick] Oh, Merv called too.
- What?
Merv?
- [Nick] He said EMTs were having trouble
making their way up to you right now.
So you might need some help
with the mom and the baby.
Speaking of which,
tell me how long she's
been in labor right now.
Do you know how far she's dilated to?
- About eight hours.
What are you dilated to, Mary?
- I don't know.
How am I supposed to know that?
- [Nick] You're gonna
have to check the cervix.
- Okay.
Okay.
- [Nick] Okay. Let me talk to her.
- All right.
Mary, Douchecanoe,
- Douchecanoe, Mary.
- Hi.
- Hey Mary. How you doing?
You know, I'm Dr. Douchecanoe,
but most people call me Nick.
Let's, let's just get
into this a little bit here.
Have you ever felt your cervix?
Do you know what it
felt like before all this?
- No.
- [Nick] I'm gonna have Jo do it.
Mary, are you comfortable with that?
- Yes.
- What? No.
- Yes.
- Jo,
just tell me what you see.
Let's start with that.
- I see a pregnant woman
who shouldn't have shot her coyote midwife.
- What?
- Nothing. Jesus.
Okay, just tell me, just
tell me what I have to do.
- Okay, Jo, before you do anything at all,
can you see the baby's head?
If the cervix is fully dilated,
the head should be crowning at this point.
- I mean, can I just tell you that I see it
even if I don't?
What happens then?
- Fetal distress,
Perennial tears, potential stillborn.
- [Nick] Jo, stay with me.
- [Mary] Okay.
- Hmm. Okay.
Just gonna spread
these open just a little bit
so I can...
Oh, nope.
Don't see anything. Don't see it.
- Okay, Jo, I want you to
gently take your middle finger
and your index finger.
That's right.
And insert them into her vagina, gently.
- Okay. This is happening.
- Not with your gross, bare hands, Jo.
- Sasha brought a bag.
- Okay.
Okay.
Look. Hey, how convenient.
Plus, yeah, this will help. Right, right.
Yeah, okay.
Okay, um...
All right.
Oh my gosh.
How have they not invented
something better than this by now?
Look at me.
I'm just like you.
Okay.
- Yeah.
Okay.
God, it so gross.
Okay.
Okay.
Yeah. Can you, you know what?
Both of you just stop staring at me, okay?
You're making me nervous.
- Jo, just tell me what you feel.
- Shame, confusion.
Regret.
I really never should have accused you
of knowing what your wife was doing.
I'm, I'm really sorry.
That was really wrong.
- And...
- Really?
Really, Jo.
You gonna choose now to apologize to him?
Now?
- What do you feel?
- Okay, it's real spongy in there.
- Perfect. Perfect.
Okay, go to the end of that hallway
and I want you to feel for a door.
- Are you serious?
- [Nick] Yes. Jo, feel for the door.
- Okay. Yep, found the door.
- Good. Good, good, good.
Okay, we're onto something here.
Just tell me how open it is.
- It's ajar.
- [Nick] Is it hard?
- I don't know. Not really.
- Feel for the baby's head.
- I don't know.
- Look and see.
- I don't want to.
- [Nick] Jo, you have to do this.
Come on. Can you see the baby's head?
- Oh man. It's like the
red wedding up in here.
- Blood and mucus?
- [Jo] Yeah.
- Oh, okay.
Alright. Yeah, that's the bloody show.
Good.
- Oh, you better not, you better not.
- Oh, it sure is.
- Basically her mucus
plug has just dropped,
so you guys are probably
about eight centimeters.
- Okay, great.
Now what?
- [Nick] Now you wait.
- For what?
- Me to dilate two more centimeters.
- Oh, great.
Oh. Oh.
- [Mary] Jo?
- Oh God!
Jo?
- [Noel] Dad, Merv's here.
- Hold on one second. I
think Merv's at the door.
Any luck with the EMTs?
I got Jo on the phone,
she's been waiting for you.
- [Merv] Stay on the floor.
- [Noel] Aunty Jo, he has a gun.
- Merv, what are you doing?
- I'm taking lead for a change.
- [Noel] Dad, are you okay?
- [Nick] It's gonna be okay.
- Don't you dare.
- Or else, what, Jo?
You're there. I'm here.
I mean, what are you gonna do?
- What do you want, Merv?
- I'm on brand.
I'm doing it for the same
reason you are, family.
Except I want what he wants.
- Jo.
- Jo.
- Who?
- [Mary] Golden.
- And since there's no
place to go, gimme her, Jo.
Gimme her, Jo.
Gimme her, Jo.
- He offered me 100 K.
What did it take for you to flip?
- Flip? No, no, no, no, no, no.
This whole partnership was my idea.
So I feed him our tips
and he films our grabs for clicks.
- And you make me look like an ass.
- Well, I was gonna say
that we split everything 50/50
but making you look like an ass,
that's just icing on the cake.
- Since when?
- Hey, don't ask questions
you know you already know the answer to.
Come on.
- You put the job before your family
and my family just profited from it.
Which brings us here, Jo.
You have a choice to make.
It's the same one it's always been,
your family or your job
because you're gonna lose one tonight.
- Yeah. You know, either way,
I'm gonna take your new little friend here
on this glorious Christmas morning.
Only difference is whether you
or your family have
another time to see it, okay?
(dramatic music)
- [Jo] How do I know I can trust you?
- [Merv] I'm an opportunist, not a liar.
Following this little Yankee
swap, you have my word
that Nick and Noel will be
returned to you unharmed.
- And how do you know you can trust me
not to turn you in after all this is over?
- [Merv] (laughs) Oh, I don't.
Which is why accounts were
created under your name
and incremental deposits made
after each one of Golden's snags,
beginning with Noel's Mom,
you turn us in, you go down too.
(Mary groaning)
- Just take her before
anything happens to the baby.
- [Mary] No.
- [Jo] And before I change my mind.
- We'll meet you at the extraction point.
Get it?
Extraction point
because you're gonna deliver her baby.
Oh, and merry Christmas, Jo.
- [Mary] No.
- [Golden] Let's go, let's go.
- [Mary] No, no, no.
- Get up, get up.
- [Golden] Let's go.
- Jo?
Jo?
No. Jo, help.
- No, no, no.
Not unless you wanna ruin
Christmas for your friend here.
You know what.
(gun shot)
Jo!
Let's go.
Let's go.
(Jo screaming)
- Don't like Christmas after all.
Ah.
Oh, blood.
(phone vibrating)
What?
Oh.
Mary?
Ow.
Noel.
Ow.
Nick, Noel.
Oh. Oh.
(phone dings)
Good girl.
Good girl. I see you.
Okay.
Yep.
Oh, good.
Painkillers.
And a (indistinct).
Coming for you.
Noel, I'm coming for you.
Okay.
Perfect.
Yeah.
Whoa.
(indistinct)
Coming for you, Noel.
(Jo groaning)
Okay.
Oh god. Oh god.
One more.
(Jo groaning)
Ah, okay.
Okay.
Okay.
(subtle music)
(Jo panting)
(gentle music)
Manifest success.
(car engine revving)
(bright music)
(plane engine roaring)
All right, I'm feeling better.
I got this.
All right, Winters.
(phone ringing)
- [Winters] Ho, ho, ho.
Merry Christmas, Johnston.
- That is not why I'm calling Winters.
Merv is the one who's
been tipping off Golden.
And he's been splitting the bounties
and I've tracked him
to the Bethlehem Airport
and I need backup.
- Bethlehem. Slow down.
So you're not calling to
wish me, Merry Christmas.
- Focus. He's got my niece, my brother,
and a woman in labor
and he could kill 'em all.
- Hey, Bethlehem Airport, hmm.
Hey, copy that.
Do not engage until we get there.
Understand?
- Sure thing.
(dramatic music)
- Johnston, you hear me?
Jo?
(indistinct)
(dramatic music)
(Mary groaning)
- So, what are we having?
- We, we haven't been
together in well over two years
since you left me for that psycho.
On what planet do you think
this baby is possibly yours?
And what would make you think
I'd ever wanna be with
somebody who would lie
and cheat on me, steal from me,
and then try to blame me for all of it.
- Mary, (speaking in
foreign language) or what?
Like you liking his oldest pic online
wasn't some thirst trap
you set to lure him back.
- Thirst trap?
(speaking in foreign language)
You both are delusional.
It was an accident.
So wait, are you trying to tell me,
you actually put a hit out on me
because you thought I wanted him back.
I would never want him back.
He's all yours.
- But I didn't know about the baby.
- Oh my God, it sounds like
the Nutcracker Ballet in here, guys.
Look, I made the delivery as promised.
Now why don't you transfer them funds?
(speaking in foreign language)
You'll get the money once we get the baby.
So why don't you go
get him so he can deliver.
Go (foreign word)
- Yeah, that's not gonna work like that.
- Peter.
- Need a water or something?
(Mary groaning)
- There you go baby.
Are you okay?
- Yeah.
- You all right there. Let me get this.
What is this?
Stay behind me.
What do you want?
Look, don't touch her.
Just take me, take me, here.
You can have me let her go.
Please. Please let.
(Nick groaning)
- [Noel] No!
Noel.
- Sit down.
Sit down like your daddy
before you get hurt, right?
Huh?
- Sit down.
Get down there like your papa, huh?
Don't do it. Don't do it.
Don't do it.
Hey, hey, don't do it.
You gonna deliver baby now, huh?
(Mary groaning)
You know they say every time a bell rings
an angel gets its wings.
Looks like that angel just found
a one way ticket to a mere concussion.
- Whoa.
Pump your brakes there Mr. Potter.
It's Christmas.
Besides half of that money's mine.
- Was.
(gun shot)
- I got you babe.
- Noel,
you okay?
(Noel speaking faintly)
- Oh yeah, doctor finally got
a taste of his own medicine.
He's fine, okay?
He'll be fine.
- [Noel] Told you I'll
see you on Christmas.
- Yeah, I'm sure this is exactly
what you had in mind, isn't it?
- [Noel] I was (indistinct)
- High five.
Okay.
- What's the plan, what can I do?
- We are gonna get you outta here to safety
because the marshals
are on their way, okay?
- No, let's go get those cockroaches.
- God, you are stubborn, you know that.
Okay fine.
But do exactly what I say
and do not talk, alright?
I'm coming for you Nick.
Don't go anywhere, stay with him. Yeah.
- Don't worry.
Don't worry.
Sending you the money right now.
(speaking in foreign language)
(phone dings)
- I see, that wasn't so hard was it, huh?
- Hands up.
- (chuckles) You really
gonna shoot me Jo, huh?
- Oh Lord, this is it.
- You shot Merv.
- Merry Christmas to all
and to all a good night.
- Get on the ground.
- Jo. Jo. No, no, no.
Please don't leave me.
I need you to help me deliver this baby.
Please don't go.
Please.
- Okay, you know what?
I don't have drugs 'cause
I took your drugs, okay.
Or gloves so...
- This was not part of my birth plan.
- Yeah.
- Well, it looks like,
it looks like I'm gonna be
the first to welcome you
to motherhood because this
little one doesn't give a damn.
- It's out.
Oh, eyes, ears.
- (indistinct) connected.
Noel (indistinct) connected.
- Aunty Jo.
- Connected, connected.
- Don't do that to me.
(baby crying)
- It is just,
oh, it's a beautiful baby boy.
- If you say so.
- Sure.
- Oh, I always assumed it
was a girl this whole time.
- Oh, thank you Jo. He's perfect.
- Hi (laughs)
Wow. What are you gonna name him?
- Don't know yet, maybe Joseph.
- (laughs) Not bad.
You know you can have a
really cool nickname like Jo.
Hi Jo.
- [Noel] Jo Junior.
- I know.
- Jo Junior.
(dramatic music)
(indistinct)
(speaking in foreign language)
Babe, what are you doing?
- I'm going to get what I paid for.
- Mary said the baby isn't mine.
(speaking in foreign language)
And you believe everything
that comes out of her mouth.
Stop the fight.
Tada, I'll be back.
- Will this work?
- Guess that's what we got.
Hey you, hi.
(suspenseful music)
- Hello pretty girl.
Gimme the baby.
Right now give it to me.
Come here. It's okay.
Don't you touch that.
(plane engine roaring)
I paid for it.
Give it to me.
- Never.
- Give it to me, it's mine.
(suspenseful music)
(plane engine roaring)
(gun shots)
(plane engine roaring)
(gun shots)
- Good thing these drugs are kicking in.
(suspenseful music)
- Get this plane airborne already.
(suspenseful music)
- That woman is crazy.
(suspenseful music)
(gun shots)
(sirens wailing)
So was it a boy?
- What?
What?
- He's white?
I told you that baby wasn't mine.
- No.
- Damn it!
- No.
The baby isn't real.
No.
- Jo?
(suspenseful music)
So they got away?
- Looks like Santa went rogue.
- And the others?
- Safe.
- Well, strength isn't
about what you could do, Jo.
It's about overcoming what
you thought you couldn't.
Color me impressed.
I'm proud of you.
(suspenseful music)
- You are, sir?
(plane engine roaring)
- Sir?
(plane engine roaring)
- Oh my.
My, my, my.
(suspenseful music)
Nice shot, Jo.
(Winter shouting indistinctly)
(gentle music)
(air whooshing)
(subtle music)
(upbeat music)
- [Jo] What do we got next?
Oh, that's my favorite.
- Oh, she's putting up an
ornament, you like that?
- Perfect.
(baby blabbing)
- Yeah.
That looks pretty, doesn't it?
- Next year there'll be
one up there for you too.
- [Noel] Wanna give it mom?
(bright music)
- [Mary] What's next?
- Oh, it's for mama.
- Thank you, honey.
Oh, it's my favorite.
- [Nick] Joseph, you want cut?
- [Jo] Oh.
(baby blabbing)
Oh, can you give that to me, honey?
(baby blabbing)
That's all of us.
Oh, I love that one.
That's my favorite.
Perfect.
- Told you Santa always delivers.
- [Jo] He sure does.
- He does.
- Well, looks like all
we have left is tinsel.
- Oh no, no. I swear to God.
You put tinsel on that tree, I am leaving.
- What is it with you and tinsel?
- Oh, come on...
- Seriously I love tinsel.
- Jo.
- I love tinsel too. Is sparkling fun.
- Yeah.
- I have my reasons.
- I don't know. It's three against one.
- Oh, Joseph, do you like tinsel?
- Do you like tinsel?
- Do you like tinsel?
- Yeah.
- Four.
- [Mary] Four against one
- Sister rolled out.
- [Mary] Completely rolled out.
- Bye guys.
See y'all.
See y'all next year.
- I'm out.
- I gonna go get the tinsel.
(suspenseful music)
Where my homie Santa with the gifts
He told me that he
double checked the list
One time, two time, do a fly by
Gone in a flash, he'll
be done by sunrise
Where my homie Santa with the gifts
Where he at
He told me that he
double checked the list
One time, two times, third time charm
Imagine all the joy that
we'll feel in the morning
Bells ringing angelic
Spirit in my bones
Angels in the snow
Airports packed
People trying to make it home
Gifts in a sack, whole city in a globe
Shovel in the streets
Sprinkle salt at our feet
Ice skating where you step
I'm as jolly as it gets
Dressed in all red
Stuffing treats in a stocking
Hella gingerbread
Peppermint milk chocolate
(indistinct), trench coat, scarf
With the Gucci print silky
Drag a whole tree through the crib
The rug filthy
Gumbo on the porch
Rolling up some mistletoe
Was colder than the study knows
Where my homie Santa with the gifts
Where he at
He told me that he
double checked the list
One time, two times, do a fly by
Gone in a flash
He'll be done by sunrise
Where my homie Santa with the gifts
Where he at
He told me that he
double checked the list
One time, two times, third time charm
Imagine all the joy that
we'll feel in the morning
Slay bell singing
with chestnut over heat
Cookies and milk I'm
trying to add my BMI
But they taste so sweet, man
I do this every time,
every holiday season
I got watch my waistline, but it's fine
Matchbox cars and
Lego sets for the kiddos
Send a big stepping on
the roof like the fiddler
Snowflakes dancing
in the light like crystals
Hot cold coat with
marshmallows as you waiting
Ornaments hanging like decorations
Happy Hanukkah and
Kwanza to all my neighbors
Holiday cheer to all
my people that need it
I'm filled with the spirit
I share with those who receiving
Where my homie Santa with the gifts
He told me that he
double checked the list
One time, two times, do a fly by
Gone in a flash
He'll be done by sunrise
Where my homie Santa with the gifts
Where he at
He told me that he
double checked the list
One time, two times, third time charm
Imagine all the joy that
we'll feel in the morning
'Cause we'll store a little bit
We'll store a little for you
'Cause we'll store a little bit
We'll store a little for you
(music fades)