Daughters (2024) Movie Script
1
Our daddies are our mirrors
that we reflect back on
when we decide
about what type of man we deserve
and how they see
us for the rest of our lives.
I knew that girls needed a way
to connect with their fathers.
"Let's have a dance," one girl shouted.
One girl said, "My dad can't come
to the dance because he's in jail."
And one girl suggested, "Why don't we
just take the dance in the jail?"
"Are you crazy?"
One thing that I have learned
from over a decade of working with girls
is that they already know what they need.
The wisdom lives inside of them.
One, two, three,
there's some over there,
four, five, six, seven.
I got I got so many fish.
I don't know what to name them yet,
but I know I'mma I'mma name that,
that gold one, I'mma name it "Goldie."
My cousin taught me my one,
two, three, four, five, six time tables,
but she didn't teach me
my ten time tables,
and I know all my ten time tables.
I'm the smartest one in my class.
My dad is the third-strongest dad I know.
He's 30. His birthday's coming.
My dad's birthday's coming up.
My dad likes rapping,
and I'm and I'm rapping with him too.
He had... He made up he made a cool song.
"Sure You're Right." Like in the song
Sure you're, sure, sure, you're right
You miss him?
When... when he says he loves me,
I say, I'mma say, "I love him more."
He's coming home in seven more years.
Yeah, I think so too, mama.
First it was nine years,
and then the police took away two,
and then it was seven.
So, it wasn't nine or eight years,
it was seven.
Mm-hmm.
Seven is a very close number to one,
but it's going to take a long time
because it's in years.
I wish it was
I wish my dad was home already.
I know.
Me too.
I miss him too.
Ten times 18 is 180.
Ten times 19 is 190.
I figured out it wasn't six years.
It was probably seven years
'cause when I talked to him, and he said
he's coming out in seven years,
I was five still.
He's in D.C. jail.
Let me get under.
Ten times 17 is 170.
Ten times 18 is 180.
Ten times 19 is 190.
six, seven, eight, nine, ten.
Ten! Then comes
11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16,
17, 18, 19, 20,
21, 22, 23, 24, 25
Bre has separation anxiety.
They was here when they came and got him.
Thirty men with guns, but she was asleep.
They just, you know,
let her sleep while they took him out.
And then she just woke up for school
that day, and she was just like, you know,
"Where is Daddy?"
And I just told her
that he wasn't here right now.
And later on,
I told her where he really is,
but she still have
a hard time understanding.
You remember
when it was raining so bad?
I remember that.
Do you remember that?
Remember when we found
the butterfly?
Yeah, you know,
the caterpillars grow into a butterfly
This call
is from a federal prison.
Aubrey was like, she had a dream.
I'm like, "What was the dream?"
She had a dream that I was in jail.
Every morning I'd take her to school.
One morning I wasn't there
to take her to school.
That was the morning I was arrested.
I wish I would have slept
with her that night.
You can sit anywhere in the circle.
Part of the reasoning
behind us doing this work
is because, for you guys,
it's a golden opportunity
to see your children,
to interface with them,
to see your daughters
and spend time with them.
But I'm gonna be very honest
with you guys.
It's gonna be an emotional rollercoaster,
'cause you're gonna be on a high
when that dance happens,
and as that clock ticks closer
to the ending time,
you go through your own range of emotions.
I want to remind you
I'm not a teacher at all.
I'm a dad just like you guys are.
So we're gonna learn together.
We're gonna grow together
over these next ten weeks,
but we're gonna talk about
some very intentional things,
um, along this journey of fatherhood
and along this journey of self-discovery.
We're gonna spend a lot of time together,
so, I want to do something
to kind of break the ice.
- What's your name, brother?
- My name's Keith Sweptson.
- Okay. You say S-W-E-P-T-S-O-N?
- T-S-O-N.
- Yeah.
- Okay.
All right, Keith, what's your nickname?
They call me Block
when I was playing, you know, football.
'Cause you know, my head big,
I had a big head, so they called me Block.
Drop it on.
Yeah. All the females in my family
call me "Moo-Moo", but...
- Okay. Okay.
- I'm gonna roll with the Moo.
In jail, they also call me, um,
Kung Fu or Karate Joe.
Karate Joe. Okay. Okay.
That's my name around my neighborhood.
Well, my name is Scooby,
but my second name was Ruthless Bitch.
Um, okay, brother, what's your name?
- Murdock.
- "Murdock"?
Okay. M-U-R-D-O-Q or M-U-R-D-O-C-K?
- C-K.
- Okay.
And how you get that?
- Long story.
- Okay.
- We wanna hear it.
- Long story. Okay.
- Is it a positive nickname?
- It was murder...
It was a murder at first, then
- Murdock.
- then Murdock.
We will spend a lot of time together
talking about fatherhood
over the next few weeks.
So whether we are physically there or not,
whether we are actively engaged
on a daily basis, weekly basis,
monthly basis,
or not able to, we are still fathers.
What do you think
fathers miss out on if they leave?
Everything. Shit.
Everything.
- Mm-hmm. Yeah. That's right.
- You missing a lot.
You know, we don't often think about
how memories are formed for our kids.
Like, where their memories come from,
um, and what memories are stored
with them for a long time,
so this is a a great opportunity
for guys who have not seen their daughters
in a while
or just just to connect and bond.
Um, a big part of this is just a snapshot
into what your future life will look like
because you'll be on the outside,
no matter what your sentence is.
The goal is to stay out.
I know everybody's goal is to stay out.
I don't think anybody here is saying,
"Man, I can't wait to get out
so I can come back here again."
I told both of my daughters' mothers
that I'm not going to be a father
like how my father was,
but I keep getting locked up.
I got to be there for them,
and I keep being
in and out their lives.
That that hurt inside of them girls,
it it it
It show. They act a certain type of way
when you ain't there.
Right.
And you just you kind of hit the nail
on the head. Murdock, what you got?
My daughter,
at the age right now where she's ten.
When I started messing with her mother,
I was 15, and her mother was 13.
Okay.
And we had her when I was 16,
and her mother was 14.
- Wow, okay.
- So...
You've grown up
with having children.
- Exactly.
- Yeah.
My child's mother,
her father wasn't in her life.
He was locked... He he's still in jail.
Yeah, he been in for a long time.
And I think that if she would've...
I don't think she we would have been
messing with each other like that
'cause we was at an age
where it's though, you know, kids like,
"Who? Her father over there?
Shit. I ain't goin' over there."
- Right.
- You see? "Hell nah."
- It's a different approach you had.
- Yeah, exactly.
So that's how I want my daughter
to feel about me.
Like, with my friends, I'm macho.
With my girl, I'm a lover boy.
With my kids, I'm the hero.
You see what I'm saying?
I turn on different for different people.
So with my kids,
I just want them to know I'm the hero.
I want to be in my daughter's life
because I want her to not fear,
but have it in her head, "I'm not about
to mess with no boys. My father's crazy."
Hello?
Yeah, hello.
I definitely can't wait
for the father-daughter dance
on June the first.
- Yeah.
- Yeah. What's going on down there?
I can't wait for you to come home.
I will tell him
that I'm sick of seeing myself cry
because the stuff that you do,
and it wasn't my decision.
It was your decision to make and not mine.
So next when you get out of jail,
and the next time you go back in jail,
I'm not gonna even shed one single tear.
Done shedding tears
because he wanna keep doing bad stuff
that he shouldn't be doing.
It's not okay.
It's affecting me.
Mostly me.
Never a day in my life will ever
ever will I be a mother.
You can give me a million dollars,
still not gonna be a mother.
I don't care how much money you give me.
I'm not gonna be a mother.
I can have a husband.
I can have a husband.
I'll get married at 35.
And if I do have kids,
I'm having kids at 45.
Why are you so annoying?
- Mom, why are you so annoying?
- You're boring.
- Boring.
- I'm your daughter.
- You're my...
- You is my mother.
- No, I'm not.
- Yes, you are.
You adopted.
So, no.
Lemme stop.
- How was your day?
- Bomb.
- You said "bomb."
- Mm-hmm.
- You had fun?
- How was your week?
It was cool. I made it through.
She's just so cranky.
And when my dad was home,
she was so nice and stuff.
Now something done got into her.
It's like a devil inside her.
Crybaby.
- You gotta wait.
- What?
That's it. Go ahead.
- Dad's not around, so I'm dad.
- Go ahead.
Pick her up.
- Mom, that's from my school.
- Yes?
What?
- Somebody got shot right there.
- They said six people?
Six people.
- I'm glad there wasn't no school today.
- Five adults and one juvenile.
Santana was actually born
when I was in prison,
when I was over here.
First time I ever seen her up close,
it was on a jail visit over here.
I had to see her through a glass.
I couldn't even touch her.
Couldn't kiss her, couldn't hold her,
couldn't play, couldn't do nothing.
And then my first time ever touching her,
Santana was about one.
So, my first time hugging my daughter,
when she hugged me and squeezed me tight,
it was a feeling that I'll never forget,
and that was about ten years ago.
And I and I, still to this day,
I can remember it like it was yesterday.
Mm-hmm.
Being out there, I just kind of,
like, took a lot of things for granted.
You know what I'm saying? Especially,
like, you know, uh, time with my children.
You know what I'm saying?
Um, being in here, you know,
just having 15 minutes on the phone,
which they might only want to talk to you
for two, you know what I'm saying.
Versus being out there, being able to sit
them on your lap, you know.
Mm-hmm.
You need to be consistent
in your kids' life, daily life.
Um, some parents, mothers,
don't allow their kids
to talk to their, um, father
for whatever reason,
and you ain't got no control over it.
- Back to that gatekeeper concept.
- Yeah.
When you communicate
with your children's mother,
sometimes it's difficult to communicate
through whatever hurt is present.
The hurt that you may feel
over circumstances,
hurt she may feel over past circumstances,
regrets we have, and it's hard.
I came into Ja'Ana's life five...
She was, like, three,
because her mother never told me about it.
And I was incarcerated at the time.
I think I came home, though,
probably when she was one,
you know,
and I ain't seen her in three years.
Yeah, three years.
But I called like two, three times.
She... I ain't getting in contact with her,
which I was mad about,
just 'cause I wanted
to tell her happy birthday.
Um, Father's Day I called,
I ain't get in contact with 'em.
Um, no,
I haven't even talked to her since.
But people say they saw the pictures
and stuff like that from her birthday.
And stuff, but, you know.
I I
my time will come when I talk to her.
Yeah.
Happy birthday, dear Ja'Ana
Happy birthday to you
Real ass bitch
Give a... about a nigga
Big Birkin bag, hold five, six figures
Stripes on my ass
So he call this pussy Tigger
Same group of
Hell nah!
I would love to see my father,
but my mom don't like me going to jail,
seeing my father behind bars.
You wanna tell me your song in a minute?
You wanna tell me your song in a minute?
I already got your song.
Everything was important to him
except for Ja'Ana,
so I was like, "I'm not doing that."
Why do you wanna bond with her
while you're incarcerated,
when all this time you had out here
and you didn't even really wanna
be bothered with her?
Uh-uh. Just 'cause you're outside
doesn't mean you can throw stuff anywhere.
We still have
to clean up behind ourselves.
So, if you're drinking or eating
something, put it in the trash can.
You ain't gotta go in the house.
There's two there,
two right there, and two right there.
- Do everybody understand?
- Yes.
When you hurt her, you're hurting me
because you're not here to hold her,
to try to console her, and talk to her.
So, since you don't see that,
and you don't feel that,
and you think it's okay,
well, don't call then.
Don't come around. Just leave us alone.
I don't even remember his face.
I don't remember nothing about my father.
Nothing at all.
A lot of us is just like...
For generations and generations,
just content with nothing.
You know what I'm saying?
When you was talking about values,
and I come in here,
I be thinking about the value of,
"I don't have nothing out there."
It's not normal for a 25,
26-year-old to have nothing,
but it's normal out there right now.
That's not normal.
Us being in here,
me seeing you brothers here like this?
This shit is not normal.
This shit is not acceptable.
It goes back to, like,
just because a lot of people does it,
doesn't make it normal.
Just because you see a lot of people,
let's go 200 years ago,
a lot of brothers was in shackles.
Kept happening over again,
getting whipped.
That shit wasn't normal
just because they kept doing it to us.
This is no different
than that shit 200 years ago.
Hell with patriotism
because they want this
to seem normal for all of us.
Right.
They want this shit. Them saying,
"Hey, it happens so often to you guys."
"It's it's not that bad."
It's it's it's a state.
That ain't right, man.
You know, I don't have anything against
anyone who thinks this shit is okay.
I keep coming back and forth,
and I can't judge nobody,
but the fact that I don't know
what my grandson looks like?
Mm-hmm.
That shit hurts me, man.
I wanna hit my head on the wall.
It's not normal.
However,
have you all ever heard the phrase
"That if you don't define yourself,
the world will define you"?
Yeah.
Do you know
that just by us being in this room today,
there's a negative statistic waiting
for you?
They assign you a number
when you come in here,
and you know that number like you know
your own social security number, right?
All of these trappings are definitions
for you
based upon your actions being defined
and fitting some stereotype.
But in this world,
we have to define ourselves.
We aren't taught how to love ourselves.
- We're taught to have pride in ourselves.
- Yeah.
We are taught
what we should stand up for,
what we should allow from the world,
but very often, self-love is a lesson
that escapes all of us.
And I have learned through the years,
and I'm still learning
that I have to keep
my love of self in perspective,
as I open myself up to love other people.
Unconditionally.
The whole time, I've been thinking about
when I signed up
and what I really signed up for,
and what it turned out to be for me.
I'mma just be honest.
When it first was presented to me
on my unit,
it was just presented as a dance.
So I looked at it as just, like,
another way of getting an extra visit.
- I'mma just be honest. Right?
- Mm-hmm.
I didn't expect any classes on parenting
or sitting in groups,
and I actually learned a lot of stuff,
and hearing a lot of stuff,
it helped me be able to communicate better
in my absence, right?
Yeah.
Some people,
that's the most we ever talk in here
or or or feel comfortable talking
to somebody,
so it it it means more
than y'all think it do.
Just for us to sit right here
and congregate with other men
and share our ideas
and how we feel about our family.
Well, I appreciate
being able to be in that space.
Who who started this?
So, the dance
this particular dance, okay,
is a, um, lady named Angela Patton.
In, uh lives in Richmond, Virginia.
And she's always had a passion
for work with Black girls.
Preparing them for life.
Teaching them about loving themselves.
About projecting into
the grown women they want to be.
- My girl power
- My girl power
- My girl power
- My girl power
- My girl power
- My girl power
- It looks like strength
- It looks like strength
- My girl power
- My girl power
- My girl power
- My girl power
- My girl power
- My girl power
- It looks so amazing
- It looks so amazing
- Our girl power
- Our girl power
- Our girl power
- Our girl power
- Our girl power
- Our girl power
- Our girl power
- My girl power
- My girl power
- My girl power
- It looks like me
- It looks like me
That's what power is
when we're talking about girl power.
We're not talking about
making a man feel less.
We're talking about being creative
and just trying something new
and being impactful in a way
that we never thought about before.
And that's the great thing
about having young people at the table.
These girls just needed a way
to invite their fathers
into their lives on their own terms.
And it really started with, like, circles
like what you're all experiencing today.
Hearing their challenges.
And at first, it started out
being pretty angry at you all.
They were, like, not happy, you know,
but once they started to dig deeper,
they realized that a lot of it
was coming from
what someone else told them.
It wasn't even their own experiences.
It was just like,
"Oh, we don't need him in the home."
"I'm your mama and your dad."
Those conversations made them
become angry with you, so the girls said,
"Well, I feel that
the fathers need to be celebrated."
We don't ever take time to say,
"My dad is great."
"My dad is showing up."
"My dad is consistent."
But some girls in the room
experienced just that,
so the girls wrote a letter
to the sheriff and just said,
"Well, we're gonna ask
if we can take a dance in the jail."
And he said, "No one has ever
requested something
as powerful as this moment."
"Absolutely. I would not say no to you."
I want you to remember that.
That this came from innocent minds
of little girls who are saying
that they want to be with you.
They want to share with you.
They want you to show up.
They want to count on you.
This is about healing
our families.
This is about strengthening our families.
'Cause we know
when our families are intact,
that our community thrives.
Yes, question.
This is called
the "father-daughter dance."
What if I don't know how to dance?
If you have skills like rappin',
you gotta use them.
If you can do a split or a flip,
just put down your skills
'cause there's a moment for you to shine,
so your daughters can know
what they're working with.
I have a plan for you.
'Cause we getting recorded, is it possible
to get haircuts before we come over?
I can guarantee that one.
Haircuts and you'll have suits and ties
and shoes and undershirts,
so for that moment in time,
you guys will not be,
um, Inmate So-And-So, right?
That's not the that's the goal.
So, the mom come too, with the dance?
The moms will be present in the building,
but they won't be at the actual dance.
Um, the time is literally just
for you guys and your daughter.
We wanna make sure
the moms don't get into it.
Anyone can change their mind at any time,
so don't have any arguments with Mom
in the next couple of weeks.
We will not be in any contact
with the child's mother?
- At all?
- No. Is there an issue...
- No, no, that's not an issue.
- Okay. No.
'Cause I know my my daughter, she might...
She ain't seen me in a long time,
so I know she going...
- How old is she?
- She's five.
- Probably looking for her.
- She gonna be looking.
She gonna be more comfortable
with her mother being there.
Just making sure. Anybody else have
that concern, so I can try and address it?
Is it possible we can get a pre-meet?
Is it because
you haven't seen her in years?
I've been gone for two years.
So, you've never had a touch visit, only...
I don't want her to be scared.
If I could get a show of hands
so I can see how great that need is
of people who actually haven't been
connected with their daughters
and may have a similar fear?
Now they got the visits
on a TV screen.
My child and my child's mother can be
somewhere totally different
in the jail building.
They on the screen too, on the phone,
and I'm on the phone on a screen.
And I don't I don't like that.
Say "hi!"
Say "hi."
All right.
I just gotta put some more money on.
I gotta get some more credit.
So I can see
my last two messages he wrote me.
Ten credits is five dollars.
Send pictures is, like, two credits.
Plus, they charge you a fee.
Of course, you know.
They'll charge you a fee. "Visitations."
I'm trying to learn that now.
Um, well, for a month,
it's basically way cheaper,
'cause it's only 32 dollars,
plus the tax that they add on.
Um, daily, it's, like, different prices,
$7.99, probably $4.99 a visit.
Um, for probably one visit a day,
'cause you could pay as you go.
Let me see.
Hey!
Yep.
Raspberry pebble.
Let me show you this.
Go, Dad! You showing off, huh?
Yeah, that's my baby.
I miss him being here.
It don't feel like home.
Like, it don't feel right.
It just don't feel right, like...
I don't know. I come in here,
sometimes, wanting to talk to him,
tell him about my day,
and I remember he's not here.
They should give us more time
on the phone. 15 minutes,
when he's gonna be in there
for how long?
That's crazy.
I'm just getting older and, like,
soon I'll be, like, leaving school,
graduating, stuff like that.
I'm just scared he, like, won't be here
to see the memories and stuff.
So
She's academically challenged
because she struggles on focusing,
and I'm sure she got
1,000 things on her mind,
but, um, it done led to Raziah saying
that she don't wanna be here no more.
The other day, she went up on the rooftop
she went on the rooftop,
and she was thinking about jumping off.
And that's the second time
she talked that way to me.
And I... You know, I'm doin' so much
to be there, you know.
It would be so hard if I lost her,
you know.
You don't know how much you love,
you know.
You know, "That wouldn't help your dad.
You'll break his heart."
He already suffering enough, you know.
A year tomorrow.
Last time I touched my baby
was a year ago.
Yeah, I'm gonna really enjoy this moment.
Hey, where my mama gonna sit at?
Where my mommy gonna sit at?
I want Aubrey to sit with me!
This will probably be
my 12th or 13th dance in a, um, jail
for girls and their fathers,
and mothers are always hesitant
to participate.
Um, sometimes they're hesitant to even
allow their daughters to go for it,
and I understand that it is challenging.
We get it,
but we can't just be in that space, right?
We can't be stuck,
so this is really to let you know that
we're here for you and your daughters.
We love you, and we celebrate you.
Forgiving is one of
the hardest things for us to do as humans.
And so I am clear that this is probably
one of the hardest decisions
that you moms had to make today.
So, moms, thank you
for getting out of the way.
When you go to this dance,
what are you looking forward to?
- Honesty.
- Honesty.
And bonding.
And that's hard for someone
to tell you you're in the way,
when you're the one showing up every day,
doing all of the work.
Thank you.
- You wrote that?
- Thank you.
So those of you who were like,
"I don't wanna do this thing,"
but now, hopefully,
you are feeling that it was valuable,
and that you are now
in a sister circle of your own.
That was the point.
It was to take care of you too
because you are absolutely amazing,
and somebody needed to tell you, okay?
And now we're ready
to get them fabulous.
We're ready to dance. This is a dance.
- Now let's dance!
- I love that!
Boy, I been on my P's and Q's.
"Yeah, baby, you know I love you."
You know, gotta play it cool.
"Bring my baby June first
so I can see my sugarfoot,
and everything's good." That's all.
My daughter got her dance moves
because of me.
- Yeah.
- 'Bout none of that.
She likes to dance because of me.
She used to dance to all my music.
She geekin'. She can't wait to see me.
Yeah, man. Mine is too.
It's happy. Like, it brings out
a lot of happiness, like, when...
Just to be able to,
you know, dance and connect.
'Cause the connection, like,
it gives a person, like...
Just to let you know that...
Just, you know,
the bond like me and my daughter have.
We like to dance, so I just know
this gonna mean a lot to her.
She helped me with my music.
I know when a song is not good
'cause she won't dance to it.
Memories I had from when she was
just one to five is just,
it was beautiful.
Now, she had to take a break
with just me being gone.
I just tell her, like,
"Daddy made some bad decisions." You know?
And, you know, "People make mistakes
and this was what daddy made, a mistake,
and it's not your fault
that I'm gone away."
Everything she do is just
she want to be perfect at it.
Her certificates and stuff.
Like, that's one thing I always told her.
"I want to see the whole wall filled."
And that's what she been doing.
"Daddy, I got a new certificate.
Daddy, I got more certificates."
"I got five. I got six."
It's like, "They can't fit in
a living room no more, Daddy."
"I gotta put them all in my room."
I was smart like her,
but I was just brought up different.
And the environment that I grew up in
was real rough, so, you know.
I just was like
Everything I wanted to be,
she is right now.
Like, everything I wanted to do,
she's showing me that,
you know what I'm saying?
I never thought it would be like this.
My mother was incarcerated.
I tried to duck the way how she came,
what she went through.
She did a big ten years.
I tried to not go through that.
I got a daughter. I was like,
"I'm not gonna have my daughter
go through what I've been through."
But it's like, my daughter going through
the same thing that I've been through.
I've heard several brothers
here share
that because this was
my circumstances when I was a kid,
I would not do certain things.
Even if I'm in this predicament right now,
I'm going to make sure I'm here.
Um, when I was young, I was like 14, 15,
and I had a, um
a meeting with my probation officer,
my juvenile probation officer,
and she asked... she asked me,
did I love my father?
You know? We ain't never really did that.
And I'm like, "Yeah, I love my father."
You know what I'm saying?
So, my father was like,
"Yeah, I love... Kenneth know I love him."
You know what I'm saying?
So, she was like, "Tell him you love him."
My father was like,
"We don't do that in our family."
"Kenneth know he know I love him."
You know what I'm saying?
So, at that point, I really didn't know
how to express myself, so I shut down.
Then, I'm feeling like,
"I wasn't supposed to say it."
"My father ain't say it.
I wasn't supposed to say it."
So, I shut down.
I don't wanna answer no more questions.
And unfortunately, like,
three days later, my father got killed.
- Oh wow.
- You know what I'm saying? So, um
He never got a chance to do it,
and that's something that stuck with me.
What you brought up
is something that's so important.
There's a theory out there about
something called "the father wound."
We go through these wounds that occur,
these gaps that are left,
or these holes that are made in us
from mother being absent, a mother wound,
from father being absent, a father wound,
or both parents being absent,
a parental wound
that we don't even know is there
at the time.
The father wound is very often described
as the pain that a child...
Because we are children, right?
We all have parents,
whether we knew them or not.
We are somebody's child,
whether we knew our parents or not, right?
The absence of a father
often leaves a wound.
We don't realize the pain we leave
in a where the vacuum is.
Nature will do everything it can
to fill the holes.
They find other ways to compensate
until they're confronted by the thing
that they hold responsible for that wound.
I had one nightmare.
My mom and my dad, they left me.
They were saying how they never
coming back, and they just had to go.
I woke up crying on that one
because it really, like, shook me.
I was really scared, and I was just sad.
And my dreams go black.
When I'm mad, nobody likes me.
They wish they never met me.
Kind of don't act like myself now.
The feeling hurts really bad,
and it starts to make me scream
and kick everything and punch, like,
it's just not okay.
I use BEST every single time I dance.
Even when I dance by myself,
and I gather back together.
Body, energy, space, and time.
"Body" is like when you're not stiff
and you're just smooth with it.
"Energy" means you got to be pumped up.
"Space" means you need to be spread out.
"Time" is, like,
we need to, like,
be quicker with it, not so slow.
One of the things that the dance
does is it really tackles every emotion.
And, you know, I can see a girl
not wanting to take off her dress
for a couple of more hours
when she gets home
'cause her dad got to touch that.
He's not gonna want to get out of the suit
because it was touched by his daughter.
That's how powerful it is
that you want to kind of remain
in that space as long as you can.
The power of touch
is so meaningful.
When children are removed
from touching their parent,
seeing their parent,
hearing their parent's voice,
they doubt the possibility
of surviving in the world.
The baby is aware of the human connection
and responds to being protected and loved.
The baby yearns for touch.
And as we get older,
we continue to yearn from that,
and it heals so many wounds.
Even when sometimes
those wounds sting, you're like,
"Wow, it probably would have been
a more open wound for a longer time
if I didn't take care of it."
So, you're a little scared
about the dance?
But the other girls
are going to be there too.
Yeah, they saw their fathers.
- Scared to see your dad?
- Yeah, because of his face.
Why? What's wrong with his face?
You think your father's ugly?
No. I I just... He'll probably look like,
uh, he probably looks different.
Like, I don't remember him.
I don't remember father at all.
I don't remember his face or none of that.
You're ready
to see him though, right?
- You're ready to get in that limo?
- Yep.
- I should get in the limo with you.
- Nope.
That's mean. You and the other girls
are gonna get a limo too, right?
Yep, and y'all parents not, so y'all
gonna stay y'all butts right there.
I don't care 'cause I don't
I'm not pressed to go to see your dad.
You don't got to. I could be pressed.
So, that's cute.
That's a cute little hairdo.
What song you playing tonight?
It's over now
It's over now
- I feel like I can make it
- I feel like I can make it
- The storm is over now
- The storm is over now
It's over now
It's over now
I feel like I can make it
The storm is over now
Ready for
the father-daughter dance?
Yeah.
All right. 'Cause our father-daughter
dance is really, at the end of the day,
about you connecting, strengthening,
bonding, learning about each other.
So, you need to continue to show up
'cause she wants you.
And guess what?
She gonna show up for you on Saturday,
looking beautiful and ready to dance.
I think some of the girls
already showed us their moves. All right?
And this is all my girls' plan
that they want to be with you.
They want to share with you.
They want you to show up.
They want to count on you.
They want to count on you.
That is one thing that I definitely can
say as a Black woman that is,
I'm gonna tell you my age, 48 years old,
that I have been able
to count on my father since day one.
And it means everything and every decision
that I have ever made in my life.
My father, I'm gonna give him a shout-out,
shined up all y'all shoes yesterday.
'Cause ain't nobody can shine shoes
like an 80-year-old man.
They said, "You gotta get
these shoes shined, Angela."
"Who gonna do them?"
I was like, "My dad." Right?
So, just to let you know,
I'm still counting on him.
Okay? Even to help you,
I'm counting on my daddy.
- That's how important fatherhood is.
- Mm-hmm.
Ready? Together. Bring this one around.
Bring this one up.
Bring it down to your right side.
- We're there, right?
- Yeah.
Bring it back around.
Bring it back around.
What color is my dad gonna wear?
When I don't see my dad that makes me mad,
and it makes me want to miss him,
but now I'm getting happier
because I'm gonna see him.
I'm so nervous.
It's it's
How many is a week?
I I don't like weeks.
Come with me, my love
To the sea, the sea of love
I want to tell you how much I love you
Do you remember when we met?
That's the day I knew you were my pet
I want to tell you how much I love you
Come with me
To the sea
Of love
Do you remember when we met?
That's the day I knew you were my pet
I want to
I like it.
What's up with my hair?
I'm scared.
Oh my God, I'm scared.
I don't think my dad remembers me.
- I never visit my father.
- So, you haven't seen him in a long time?
That's why I'm scared.
You can't hide.
You got one.
I want to see my father.
Where's my father?
I don't know.
Follow me. It's up here.
Yeah, I'm nervous.
I'm gonna let her get the table first
because I know
she sure have a lot to talk about.
I can't get into competition.
All my dances still in the '90s, man.
You gotta bring them out, man.
Show them what's up.
That's all. Yeah.
I ain't never went to the prom.
I don't know about none of y'all.
Look, y'all. Y'all can see the, um
Look, y'all. Y'all can see the, um
What's it called? The
- What's it called?
- Jail cells.
- No.
- Jail?
- The gym?
- No.
- You don't want to see that.
- What?
The jail cells. She said
she wanted to see how the jail cells look.
Don't her legs look like a lady?
For a, um, jail.
I think I think
I think my father shot somebody.
I don't know what my father did.
I'mma ask him though.
- I'm gonna be like, "Why are you in jail?"
- I really know what he did.
- Don't tell my mother 'cause...
- I swear to God.
Hey.
One, two, three, four, five
Once I caught a fish alive
That's our fathers?
Is that our dads in the hallway?
And I'm the
- I miss you.
- I miss you too.
- Yeah?
- I miss you too.
Yeah. I love you, baby. You happy?
- Mm-hmm.
- A kiss on the cheek.
I love you. I like your hair.
- You have a bald head just like Papa.
- Yeah.
Daddy!
I miss you.
'Sup?
What's up, y'all?
You all right?
It's all right.
It's okay. It's okay.
I. Love. My. Dad!
I missed you.
I love y'all.
It's okay.
It's all right. It's okay.
Y'all look so beautiful.
- I'm saying jail's not a place to be.
- It's not a place to be?
Mm-hmm.
I didn't even know
that was you coming through.
Your hair was just so pretty, I think
You didn't know who I was?
I didn't.
You had your hair blown out.
I didn't know that was you
'cause it's looking different.
Like, you see Daddy bald head.
But I knew who you were,
so I just ran to you.
Yeah.
If I run to you...
If I look different,
and I don't look like Aubrey,
and I run to you, I'm Aubrey.
Okay.
You're going straight to the red carpet,
then to the same table.
Mr. Keith Sweptson
and Miss Aubrey Smith!
- Hey...
- Come on up here!
Look around.
- All right, girlfriend.
- Look at the camera.
Show us your walk.
Show us the runway walk. Oh!
Show your model walk.
That's right, girl.
Yeah, there you go.
You got your model walk. Spin around.
She's got some bounce
in her step. Oh my!
- Look at the camera.
- What a pretty dress.
Coming up next is a lucky dad
because he's got two angels on his arm.
Right now?
- Yeah.
- Yeah, Dad.
Yeah.
Turn around and face the same way.
- I...
- Shut up.
Yeah.
And new pictures.
Coulda get some pictures.
All right. Nice job.
Not flash. That one was flash.
Hold on. You can do this one, okay?
It doesn't work when you...
No, they don't work.
The flash ain't on.
You gotta you gotta wind it.
This pink matches my color.
So, what you doing at school?
You going to the dances?
Is this a prom dance?
We're learning about a new song, like
We are family
Come on everybody with
Sing.
I don't know how to say it.
It's okay. It's okay. Don't give up.
I tell you, "Don't give up."
- You always keep trying.
- The song goes
We are family
- Know that, Daddy?
- What's that? Monday?
Uh-huh. So, make the "M" in sign language,
and then face it to you in a circle.
Oh, that's Monday.
Make the "T" in sign language
and do the same.
Tuesday?
Mm-hmm. Do the "W" sign language.
- And...
- Wednesday?
Now, it's Sunday,
you put hands up and hands down, so
Sunday. What's today? Saturday. So, it's
- So, today is this day.
- Yeah.
Over here.
Yours not hard enough. Look.
Oh, yeah?
- Damn.
- I'm the biggest person in this room.
- Stop lying.
- I'm the biggest person.
- No, you're not.
- Do you want me to stand up?
What, you want me
to show everybody? Aight, aight?
You embarrassing.
Man
- Dad, you gotta write something in it.
- I ain't gotta write it right now, do I?
- Yeah. I need my pen.
- I can't keep the pen. I'm playing...
All right, come on. He's writing in there.
- He's writing something to you.
- Yeah, girl.
You need to write a lot.
You need to fill them out.
- This whole thing?
- No, just the one page.
- I ain't about to write this whole page.
- You is.
- I'm not.
- You are.
- I'll 'bout to show you.
- I'm about to fight you.
- I'm about to show you.
- Okay.
"XOXO, Dad."
"Dad." Put "Dad."
Put "Dad!"
- Can we take two pictures?
- "Can we take two pictures," she said.
- All right, y'all ready?
- I like pink glasses.
Ten ten times seven is 70.
Ten times eight is 80.
Ten times nine is 90.
Ten times ten is 100.
Ten times eleven is 110. Ten...
I can't... I can go up...
I remember one day
I went up all the way to ten times 40.
You smarter than me.
Ten times 100 is 1,000.
High five. That's what I'm talking about.
You ahead of the class, baby.
I'm I'm the smartest one in my classroom.
Stay like that.
So, what is this whole big building?
Um, it's, uh, It's like a gym.
It's where we come play basketball.
Y'all could play basketball?
Yeah. Yep.
Like y'all go to the gym at school.
That's how it be.
We go outside and play basketball,
or we come in the gym.
When you get out?
Um, I don't know. I'm hopin' I...
I'm supposed to go to court July 16th.
You said you were supposed
to go to court last Monday...
I know, but they pushed it off.
They pushed it...
I was supposed to go May the 7th.
They pushed it off.
Want Daddy to talk to you about, um,
you know, Daddy be gone for how many
- birthdays...
- Seven.
- Seven or eight? Seven or eight?
- Seven.
I want it to be seven too.
If I be good, I come home in seven, okay?
Gotta stay good.
- Come home at what?
- Hopefully, seven.
When you are a teenager,
daddy be back home.
- I'm gonna be I'm gonna be 12.
- 12 12 or 13.
- Twelve.
- I know. I wanna it to be twelve too.
It's still gonna go fast, Bre.
I know you want me to come back fast.
Okay. We're about
to make this dance happen.
- Three
- We're gonna make this happen.
- two
- Then we'll get y'all with the daughters.
- one.
- Yes.
Turn and face one
of your daughters or your daughter.
Oh, I love it. I love it. I love it.
Yes.
May I have this dance?
- Yes.
- Okay. We'll wait.
Gentlemen,
"May I have this dance?"
- May I have this dance?
- May I have this dance?
Ladies, "With pleasure."
- With pleasure.
- With pleasure.
- May I have this dance?
- No.
I got told "no." It's over with.
- Now with music.
- So, can I go sit down?
Six, please begin. You go.
Yeah.
Look! Everybody doing it!
You don't wanna dance? Aight, then.
I'm gonna go sit down.
Five, six, merengue, go!
Yes, march in place!
Yes! Yes!
I love it! I love it!
I love it! I love it!
Yes! All right.
- I told you I'm Mexican.
- No, you're not.
Yes!
It's wrong. You don't really...
She don't make me think that you start it.
I think she be startin' it sometimes.
And I think she just want something
to fight about,
and I think the same about you.
- It's okay.
- Y'all shouldn't do that.
You ain't gotta worry.
Say what song?
Whoop that move right here.
Whoop it, whoop it
Nothin', nothin'
Let me see who leg stanky right there!
Okay, that Stanky leg!
Hey, yo' leg need some lotion,
and yo' leg needs some lotion.
Yo' leg need two Benadryl!
Your leg needs some rope
to pull it back up and down.
Put some more into that thang! C'mon!
You gotta make a face when you do it!
Come on, at the same time!
Give 'em something!
Give 'em something! Give 'em something!
This right here, y'all! This is y'all.
Electric heartbeat
Let's go dads!
Let's go daughters! Hey!
Come on with it!
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
Come on! Hey!
Have a good time!
Have a good time! Hey!
Have a good time!
Hey.
Now put your hands in the air!
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
Watch this!
Everybody sing this song! Hey! Hey!
Get my get my foot! Get my foot!
Sing it! Come on, sing it!
Before I let you go
I never, never, never, never
Never, never, never, never, let you go
Before I go
You win, girl!
- Do it one more time.
- What's that?
- Huh?
- Pick me up one more time.
You want me to pick you up one more time?
Daddy hot. Daddy sweating.
One more time.
- We go get some napkins?
- One more time. Just one.
Give y'allselves
a round of applause.
- Clap, clap, clap, clap.
- Clap!
All right. We need everybody
in a circle here.
Lovely girls, give them some love.
Everybody here?
You have a boutonniere,
which was given to you
as a token of your commitment
to your daughter.
What I want you to do is to detach
that boutonniere from your sleeve
and when you give it to your daughter,
I want you to tell her
what you commit to her.
Daddy coming home.
Okay, but are we gonna go back
to our tables?
When you're ready,
take your time, share your promise.
We're not gonna be able
to visit you anymore?
Yeah, you can still visit me.
Why do you say that?
But where are you going?
You're talking about when I go?
I'm probably going to New Jersey.
So we gotta drive
all the way out to New Jersey?
- Do you want to?
- Yes.
- Why?
- Because.
Aight. You gonna come see me, then?
We gotta drive them little buses.
- You know what this mean?
- No.
This mean I gotta make a promise to you.
Want me to tell you my promise?
Mm-hmm.
I promise to never leave you again.
- Okay.
- You don't want that, do you?
You want me to stay in your life forever?
So, you gonna keep that forever?
You sure?
- Who love you more than Daddy?
- Nobody.
Can we talk a little bit more
at the table?
We gonna sit here for a second.
Stand here and talk to Daddy.
Okay? Connection.
I don't wanna let you go.
I don't wanna
let you go neither, baby.
But we need to.
I ain't gonna be gone forever.
Daddy's still gonna be here, okay?
Okay.
I'm stressing my brain 'cause Daddy needs
to start thinking positive.
- Think...
- That big old head.
- Think, "I am," in your brain.
- Yes.
Brain. Think, think, think.
Come here. Pull it together.
It's all right. Pull it together.
I ain't got but 14 months left. All right?
- Yeah.
- I'm depending on you.
Look at me.
I'm depending on you.
Go get me some certificates,
all right?
You gotta keep doing good.
The more you be good, Daddy be good.
So, if you be good more,
you gonna come home less than seven years?
I hope so.
We gotta wait.
You livin'?
Right up here.
I'm sorry.
I'm really sorry.
I promise.
And I promise
that my change starts here.
My change starts here.
Before I get out.
I give you this
for protecting our promise.
I love you.
I had way too much fun
watching you.
- I'mma cry myself to sleep.
- You gonna cry yourself to sleep?
Make sure they happy tears
'cause Daddy gonna be home.
Y'all gotta stay strong.
Y'all gotta stay strong, all right?
Okay.
is always with you,
and you get to carry that with you always.
Let's go.
I'mma miss you.
I'll miss you too.
I don't wanna let you go!
I'm gonna be okay.
Take three deep breaths,
and then we gonna say, "See you later."
Huh?
Take three deep breaths,
and then we'll say, "See you later."
I'mma see you later!
If you say "bye,"
it means you're never seeing them again.
- So promise.
- Right.
I promise you I will not say "bye."
See you later, okay?
- Okay.
- Don't say "bye."
I love you.
I'll see you later, okay?
- Okay.
- I love you.
I love you too.
Bre.
I'mma tell you
I'mma always be here.
I'mma always be here for you.
Yeah, I know it's hard.
- Love you, baby.
- Mm-hmm.
See you later, Bre.
Love you, baby.
Love you, Bre.
It's going to be all right.
Trust me.
I'm gonna miss my dad.
Are you okay? All right.
Okay.
Brothers,
can we get in a circle again?
Remember, we talked about this, right?
It's gonna be a roller coaster up,
and we always know it's a hill that comes.
One thing for sure is the fact
that regardless of where you end up,
regardless of where you go,
regardless of the choices you make here,
I think today is testimony to the fact
that you know these babies need you.
Stand on your commitment to them.
They need y'all to stand for them,
whether it's gonna be two weeks
when you see 'em,
whether it'll be 20 years
when you see 'em.
Whether it'll be a visitation
or whether it'll be a level.
They need you. They need you.
Don't you ever question
the fact that they need you.
This is for life.
You their fathers for life.
Let that pain you feel
be part of that fuel.
Your babies are forgiving and supportive,
but you gotta keep
your hearts turned towards them.
Man, yeah, man.
Well, I loved seeing y'all
hanging with y'all daughters.
Mine wasn't able to get here,
but after seeing all of y'all
bein' able to appreciate y'all children,
man, made my day.
So, my daughter was here in my heart,
but she wasn't here with me.
I'm proud of y'all, boys.
All of y'all are gonna
be home soon to y'all kids.
Mo, just pray.
Don't you ever give up praying, Slim.
No matter what religion you is,
don't you give up praying.
'Cause guess what?
God knows y'all kids need you home,
so He gonna get you home
as long you trust and believe.
Whether you gotta come back on appeal
or whatever, man, y'all gonna get there.
And when you get there, son,
you stay there, man.
Like he said,
the streets don't want us, man.
We here 'cause we thought they did, Mo.
They don't love us. Our kids love us.
They need us, homes.
I love all y'all much, man.
- And respect, man.
- Indeed.
- We love you too.
- Indeed.
I see you in the dark
'Cause I've been where you are
You're too scared to show me love
'Cause you're too fresh with the scars
I found my love and I
I don't wanna lose it again
No, I don't wanna lose you now
No, I don't wanna lose you now
No, I don't wanna lose you now
No, I don't wanna lose you now
No, I don't wanna lose you now
So we're gonna do some unpacking today
and talk about what happened,
what's gonna happen, and all that stuff.
Anybody got anything new they wanna share?
Any thoughts
before we start getting into it?
Crickets.
Okay, um
So, let's go back to the dance.
It was... It was... It... It hurt.
I I got back to my cell
and and and cried, you know? And...
Just trying to picture her in my mind
right there in front of me, talking to me,
so I could get back in happy spirits
'cause that was like...
Her hair
Just, looking like she was right there
and she was in in front of me, like
Yeah, it was tough, um
The worst part was when I had
to get on my knee and talk to 'em.
Like, I couldn't really look at 'em
because they was crying so hard.
Like, you know...
I apologized to them, though.
It helped.
It helped to get it out.
You cry for the people you love, so
Getting glossy-eyed now.
I don't hide things from my children.
- You know?
- Right.
They know what's up.
They know what's going on.
And, um, you know, I'm Daddy for real.
So, the dark-skinned one,
that's my niece...
- Okay.
- Right?
But her father been locked up
since she was two.
- Okay.
- So, she's really my daughter.
- Indeed.
- And, um
the bonds that I build with my children,
it's, like, it's big, it's really big.
And, uh, she gave me
some real encouraging words, man.
She was like, "Dad, don't worry about it.
You'll be home in bit. I got you."
- You see how they lift us back up?
- That was cool.
We think we being strong for them,
and they pour back into us,
but that's the exact reason
why you don't give up on them.
Right.
We all say like, "We gotta get home, man."
"We can't come back,"
and all this and all that,
but that's the day I actually felt
like I can't come back to prison no more.
Like, I never felt it.
You know what I'm saying?
That hurt, so I don't even wanna come back
just because of how I felt that day.
Earth takes one year
to circle around Sun.
So so one year... So it will stop,
and one year later it will go,
and it will keep going.
It will keep going,
and it will never stop.
One, two, three, four, five,
six, seven, and I see my dad.
No.
Happy birthday to you
No.
I don't want no music.
No music.
- No music.
- Nope.
- Just regular happy birthday.
- Nope.
I think he's gonna call you
on Saturday.
But you could send him a message
in the email if you like.
Hey, Bre!
Can you hear me?
- Fifty-three. Sixty.
- The phone is in and out.
- Baby?
- Four.
This call
is from a federal prison.
Fifty...
You see, you know
how to answer the phone when Daddy call?
Yep.
So, make sure when Daddy call,
when you see Daddy calling,
put that
put that game down and answer the phone.
Okay.
I wish you was coming home right now.
I wish I can too, baby.
I got her these jeans from Zara.
Um
She, um...
Skinny jeans anyways, so,
and they stretch, so
I try to get her get her these ones.
And hopefully, she fit 'em,
she should be able to fit these.
And I got her
a Kenneth Cole leather jacket.
You have a job yet?
Well, I have to get my ID.
I had one waiting.
Uh, what kinda job?
Working at the receiving home
with some juveniles.
Are you changing?
- Am I changing?
- Yeah, like...
Yeah. Far as what?
- Like...
- I change every day.
No, not... Oh my goodness.
Like, personality-wise.
That's what I'm talking about.
I change every day.
- Okay.
- I don't stay the same.
I change every day,
every second, every minute.
Yeah.
Wow. Oh my gosh.
Like, this is my dad.
We could talk about
our future together,
but now I gotta earn your trust back
'cause you've been gone for so long.
I always think about that dance.
When I can touch him it's like
it's like nothing else on Earth.
When I first got in there,
I first saw him,
I was like,
"Oh my God. Dad looks so nice."
You started crying ASAP.
Yeah, it was like,
"I can't even believe this."
Like, here right now!
Like, "Dad, you're, like,
right here right now. Like, let's go."
- Let's go.
- "Forget this dance. Let's go."
Yeah, get you outta here.
Then, there wasn't any dancing.
Just took pictures.
- Mm-hmm.
- It was nice.
They should have sung Beyonc, "Freedom."
Freedom, freedom, I can't move
Freedom, cut me loose
Say, freedom, freedom, where are you?
- Hey, 'cause I need freedom too
- 'Cause I need freedom too
I break chains all by myself
Won't let my freedom rot in hell
Hey! I'mma keep it running
'Cause a winner
Don't quit on themselves
Hey!
I always think about that dance,
and I always go back to that day.
It always helps me out. It helps me cope.
It made me feel motivated, like,
"He gonna be home soon,
so you can't let him
come home disappointed."
"Gotta stand your ground."
Raziah Brooks.
I wish he was here now.
He wish he was here too.
But I did this for us.
And when he come home,
he gonna see it, so it's okay.
I got this for him, though.
I got this for him.
Free my heart.
Free my dad.
'Cause, you know, his daughter did it!
His firstborn did it! You know?
You know
his firstborn gonna do it every time.
Period.
He just, like, popped up.
He came home around four
in the morning. I was sleeping.
He just woke me out my sleep.
I thought it was still a dream and then,
I was just like, "Oh, this is for real."
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday, dear 'Tana
Happy birthday to you
- How old are you?
- Make a wish.
- Thirteen!
- All right, make your wish.
Don't blow
- Yeah!
- Yay!
Thirteen.
All right. Go ahead, go ahead.
The father-daughter dance, it it
it was different, it was different,
like I said,
'cause it's no touch visits in jail,
so for me to be able to hug my daughter
and play fight with her.
You know, she likes play fighting,
but for me to do that,
like I said, it was definitely amazing.
I wasn't... For for that six hours,
I wasn't incarcerated.
My mind was literally with my daughter.
I wasn't thinking about nothing.
Like, when it was time for her to go,
I was I was I was confused.
When it was time for the dance,
I was confused, like,
"Damn, wait a minute.
I'm not going home with my daughter?"
Yeah, so it was definitely amazing.
It was definitely amazing.
Throughout my whole life,
I never stayed out of prison
for more than, I wanna say, six months.
It's like, I come home,
it wasn't it ain't take me six months,
I was already locked up again.
And me just being able to spend time
with my daughter while I was locked up
when they did the dance...
It's it's it's going on four years,
and I haven't been rearrested,
so I would definitely say, you know,
it was a definitely a life-changer for me.
- What is it? What's the F-word?
- F-U.
- Let me hear you say it.
- No!
Why not? You say it any other time.
You say it when I'm not around.
You might as well go ahead and say it.
Nuh-uh. Atrocious.
You know
you know Cardi B got a twin sister?
She she work out a lot.
Her twin sister work out a lot.
Cardi B's twin sister.
Her name is, uh, Cardi O.
For real, stop! Daddy, stop!
That's enough. That's enough.
- That's it?
- That's enough.
Aight. I ain't gonna...
You right. You right.
This way.
Move! What? Move.
- Come on.
- Hey. Come here.
Chicken ready. Stop running. Stop running.
You want some fish, Mimi? Want some...
You're gonna hold your plate. You're
gonna waste your food. Want some fish?
- She's not getting it.
- She gonna grab. You gotta push it back.
We need the booster for her
so we can put the car seat in there.
You better not grab nothing over here.
He's doing actually well.
Like, he's doing it.
Like, he's actually doing
what we was talking about.
Eat yo' food.
You got all that food right there.
You got fish, fries, macaroni,
fried rice, broccoli, and, um
Yeah, I was I'm just happy.
Bre, can you get up now,
so we can start to get ready?
Bre?
Bre?
No!
You up?
You sure?
You sure?
Are you sure?
Where you headed?
- Uh, to visitations.
- Where at?
Um, USP...
USP medium or the low?
Medium.
Okay, I need to check all
scan all over you.
When I came out,
she really didn't recognize me.
There was plexiglass between us.
Couldn't hear I couldn't hear.
She wouldn't open up to me.
I thought it was like,
oh, she was upset with me.
It got to me a lot, you know?
I I thought it would be better.
I would like to touch her,
so it could reset.
When she asked to leave,
I was just like, "Oh"
It was, like, very hard on me.
Yeah, I can hear you now.
I can hear you way better now.
Okay.
Did you ever get...
You finally got something to eat?
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
We we went to Applebee's.
- Huh?
- We went to Applebee's!
Yeah.
I tried calling you. I tried calling you.
You didn't answer,
so I figured you probably was eating.
My phone was in the car. I think.
Okay.
- You had a good visit on Daddy?
- Mm-hmm.
Could've been better.
I can't wait to touch you.
Glad to see you.
Glad to see you some more.
Mm-hmm.
Hey, I was just talking about you.
Daddy misses you. I talk about you.
Okay.
I brag about how smart you are.
Okay.
Okay.
Y'all almost home?
- Hello?
- Yeah?
Y'all almost home?
We're probably
still a couple more hours away.
If I don't call you sometime soon,
like in a couple of days,
I'll have to call you after the 22nd.
Okay.
- I'm collecting my minutes now.
- Okay.
- You there?
- Yes.
I'm about to call Grandma,
to check on Grandma.
Okay.
- Love you.
- Love you too.
Love you more.
Love you more.
All right.
Be good.
Okay. You too.
Yeah.
That's all right, that's all right
That's all right, that's all right
Since my soul
Got a seat up in the kingdom
That's all right
My, my mama, how you walkin' low
Your feet may slip
But your soul aint gone
Since my soul
Got a seat up in the kingdom
That's all right
That's all right, that's all right
That's all right, that's all right
Since my soul
Got a seat up in the kingdom
That's all right
Hush, little baby, don't you cry
You know your mother been born to die
Since my soul
Got a seat up in the kingdom
That's all right
That's all right, that's all right
It'll be all right, it'll be all right
Since my soul
Got a seat up in the kingdom
That's all right
Jacob laugh so long and tall
You ain't gonna feel it
You're sure to fall
Since my soul
Got a seat up in the kingdom
That's all right
My, my mama, how you walkin' low
Your feet may slip
But your soul aint gone
Since my soul
Got a seat up in the kingdom
That's all right
I wanna dedicate this song
To the most wonderful person that I know
She filled my life with joy and happiness
And I have her love wherever I go
I wanna tell her
How I feel about her tonight, listen
You're the sweetest thing
On this side of heaven
You're the sweetest thing
On this side of heaven
It ain't no love, ain't no love, no
Like my baby's love
You bring me so much joy and happiness
Ooh, like it rains from above
Oh, baby
You're the sweetest thing
On this side of heaven
You're the sweetest thing
On this side of heaven
I don't need much money
I don't need no big fine car
Other temptations
Don't bother me no more
'Cause you're my only pride and joy
Yeah, baby
You're the sweetest thing
On this side of heaven
My baby, my baby, my baby
You're the sweetest thing
On this side of heaven
I don't need no doctor
Whenever I'm in pain
You cool my scorching fever
Simply by calling my name
Hey, hey, yeah
You're the sweetest thing
On this side of heaven
You're the sweetest thing
On this side of heaven
Let me say it one more time
You're the sweetest thing
On this side of heaven
Our daddies are our mirrors
that we reflect back on
when we decide
about what type of man we deserve
and how they see
us for the rest of our lives.
I knew that girls needed a way
to connect with their fathers.
"Let's have a dance," one girl shouted.
One girl said, "My dad can't come
to the dance because he's in jail."
And one girl suggested, "Why don't we
just take the dance in the jail?"
"Are you crazy?"
One thing that I have learned
from over a decade of working with girls
is that they already know what they need.
The wisdom lives inside of them.
One, two, three,
there's some over there,
four, five, six, seven.
I got I got so many fish.
I don't know what to name them yet,
but I know I'mma I'mma name that,
that gold one, I'mma name it "Goldie."
My cousin taught me my one,
two, three, four, five, six time tables,
but she didn't teach me
my ten time tables,
and I know all my ten time tables.
I'm the smartest one in my class.
My dad is the third-strongest dad I know.
He's 30. His birthday's coming.
My dad's birthday's coming up.
My dad likes rapping,
and I'm and I'm rapping with him too.
He had... He made up he made a cool song.
"Sure You're Right." Like in the song
Sure you're, sure, sure, you're right
You miss him?
When... when he says he loves me,
I say, I'mma say, "I love him more."
He's coming home in seven more years.
Yeah, I think so too, mama.
First it was nine years,
and then the police took away two,
and then it was seven.
So, it wasn't nine or eight years,
it was seven.
Mm-hmm.
Seven is a very close number to one,
but it's going to take a long time
because it's in years.
I wish it was
I wish my dad was home already.
I know.
Me too.
I miss him too.
Ten times 18 is 180.
Ten times 19 is 190.
I figured out it wasn't six years.
It was probably seven years
'cause when I talked to him, and he said
he's coming out in seven years,
I was five still.
He's in D.C. jail.
Let me get under.
Ten times 17 is 170.
Ten times 18 is 180.
Ten times 19 is 190.
six, seven, eight, nine, ten.
Ten! Then comes
11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16,
17, 18, 19, 20,
21, 22, 23, 24, 25
Bre has separation anxiety.
They was here when they came and got him.
Thirty men with guns, but she was asleep.
They just, you know,
let her sleep while they took him out.
And then she just woke up for school
that day, and she was just like, you know,
"Where is Daddy?"
And I just told her
that he wasn't here right now.
And later on,
I told her where he really is,
but she still have
a hard time understanding.
You remember
when it was raining so bad?
I remember that.
Do you remember that?
Remember when we found
the butterfly?
Yeah, you know,
the caterpillars grow into a butterfly
This call
is from a federal prison.
Aubrey was like, she had a dream.
I'm like, "What was the dream?"
She had a dream that I was in jail.
Every morning I'd take her to school.
One morning I wasn't there
to take her to school.
That was the morning I was arrested.
I wish I would have slept
with her that night.
You can sit anywhere in the circle.
Part of the reasoning
behind us doing this work
is because, for you guys,
it's a golden opportunity
to see your children,
to interface with them,
to see your daughters
and spend time with them.
But I'm gonna be very honest
with you guys.
It's gonna be an emotional rollercoaster,
'cause you're gonna be on a high
when that dance happens,
and as that clock ticks closer
to the ending time,
you go through your own range of emotions.
I want to remind you
I'm not a teacher at all.
I'm a dad just like you guys are.
So we're gonna learn together.
We're gonna grow together
over these next ten weeks,
but we're gonna talk about
some very intentional things,
um, along this journey of fatherhood
and along this journey of self-discovery.
We're gonna spend a lot of time together,
so, I want to do something
to kind of break the ice.
- What's your name, brother?
- My name's Keith Sweptson.
- Okay. You say S-W-E-P-T-S-O-N?
- T-S-O-N.
- Yeah.
- Okay.
All right, Keith, what's your nickname?
They call me Block
when I was playing, you know, football.
'Cause you know, my head big,
I had a big head, so they called me Block.
Drop it on.
Yeah. All the females in my family
call me "Moo-Moo", but...
- Okay. Okay.
- I'm gonna roll with the Moo.
In jail, they also call me, um,
Kung Fu or Karate Joe.
Karate Joe. Okay. Okay.
That's my name around my neighborhood.
Well, my name is Scooby,
but my second name was Ruthless Bitch.
Um, okay, brother, what's your name?
- Murdock.
- "Murdock"?
Okay. M-U-R-D-O-Q or M-U-R-D-O-C-K?
- C-K.
- Okay.
And how you get that?
- Long story.
- Okay.
- We wanna hear it.
- Long story. Okay.
- Is it a positive nickname?
- It was murder...
It was a murder at first, then
- Murdock.
- then Murdock.
We will spend a lot of time together
talking about fatherhood
over the next few weeks.
So whether we are physically there or not,
whether we are actively engaged
on a daily basis, weekly basis,
monthly basis,
or not able to, we are still fathers.
What do you think
fathers miss out on if they leave?
Everything. Shit.
Everything.
- Mm-hmm. Yeah. That's right.
- You missing a lot.
You know, we don't often think about
how memories are formed for our kids.
Like, where their memories come from,
um, and what memories are stored
with them for a long time,
so this is a a great opportunity
for guys who have not seen their daughters
in a while
or just just to connect and bond.
Um, a big part of this is just a snapshot
into what your future life will look like
because you'll be on the outside,
no matter what your sentence is.
The goal is to stay out.
I know everybody's goal is to stay out.
I don't think anybody here is saying,
"Man, I can't wait to get out
so I can come back here again."
I told both of my daughters' mothers
that I'm not going to be a father
like how my father was,
but I keep getting locked up.
I got to be there for them,
and I keep being
in and out their lives.
That that hurt inside of them girls,
it it it
It show. They act a certain type of way
when you ain't there.
Right.
And you just you kind of hit the nail
on the head. Murdock, what you got?
My daughter,
at the age right now where she's ten.
When I started messing with her mother,
I was 15, and her mother was 13.
Okay.
And we had her when I was 16,
and her mother was 14.
- Wow, okay.
- So...
You've grown up
with having children.
- Exactly.
- Yeah.
My child's mother,
her father wasn't in her life.
He was locked... He he's still in jail.
Yeah, he been in for a long time.
And I think that if she would've...
I don't think she we would have been
messing with each other like that
'cause we was at an age
where it's though, you know, kids like,
"Who? Her father over there?
Shit. I ain't goin' over there."
- Right.
- You see? "Hell nah."
- It's a different approach you had.
- Yeah, exactly.
So that's how I want my daughter
to feel about me.
Like, with my friends, I'm macho.
With my girl, I'm a lover boy.
With my kids, I'm the hero.
You see what I'm saying?
I turn on different for different people.
So with my kids,
I just want them to know I'm the hero.
I want to be in my daughter's life
because I want her to not fear,
but have it in her head, "I'm not about
to mess with no boys. My father's crazy."
Hello?
Yeah, hello.
I definitely can't wait
for the father-daughter dance
on June the first.
- Yeah.
- Yeah. What's going on down there?
I can't wait for you to come home.
I will tell him
that I'm sick of seeing myself cry
because the stuff that you do,
and it wasn't my decision.
It was your decision to make and not mine.
So next when you get out of jail,
and the next time you go back in jail,
I'm not gonna even shed one single tear.
Done shedding tears
because he wanna keep doing bad stuff
that he shouldn't be doing.
It's not okay.
It's affecting me.
Mostly me.
Never a day in my life will ever
ever will I be a mother.
You can give me a million dollars,
still not gonna be a mother.
I don't care how much money you give me.
I'm not gonna be a mother.
I can have a husband.
I can have a husband.
I'll get married at 35.
And if I do have kids,
I'm having kids at 45.
Why are you so annoying?
- Mom, why are you so annoying?
- You're boring.
- Boring.
- I'm your daughter.
- You're my...
- You is my mother.
- No, I'm not.
- Yes, you are.
You adopted.
So, no.
Lemme stop.
- How was your day?
- Bomb.
- You said "bomb."
- Mm-hmm.
- You had fun?
- How was your week?
It was cool. I made it through.
She's just so cranky.
And when my dad was home,
she was so nice and stuff.
Now something done got into her.
It's like a devil inside her.
Crybaby.
- You gotta wait.
- What?
That's it. Go ahead.
- Dad's not around, so I'm dad.
- Go ahead.
Pick her up.
- Mom, that's from my school.
- Yes?
What?
- Somebody got shot right there.
- They said six people?
Six people.
- I'm glad there wasn't no school today.
- Five adults and one juvenile.
Santana was actually born
when I was in prison,
when I was over here.
First time I ever seen her up close,
it was on a jail visit over here.
I had to see her through a glass.
I couldn't even touch her.
Couldn't kiss her, couldn't hold her,
couldn't play, couldn't do nothing.
And then my first time ever touching her,
Santana was about one.
So, my first time hugging my daughter,
when she hugged me and squeezed me tight,
it was a feeling that I'll never forget,
and that was about ten years ago.
And I and I, still to this day,
I can remember it like it was yesterday.
Mm-hmm.
Being out there, I just kind of,
like, took a lot of things for granted.
You know what I'm saying? Especially,
like, you know, uh, time with my children.
You know what I'm saying?
Um, being in here, you know,
just having 15 minutes on the phone,
which they might only want to talk to you
for two, you know what I'm saying.
Versus being out there, being able to sit
them on your lap, you know.
Mm-hmm.
You need to be consistent
in your kids' life, daily life.
Um, some parents, mothers,
don't allow their kids
to talk to their, um, father
for whatever reason,
and you ain't got no control over it.
- Back to that gatekeeper concept.
- Yeah.
When you communicate
with your children's mother,
sometimes it's difficult to communicate
through whatever hurt is present.
The hurt that you may feel
over circumstances,
hurt she may feel over past circumstances,
regrets we have, and it's hard.
I came into Ja'Ana's life five...
She was, like, three,
because her mother never told me about it.
And I was incarcerated at the time.
I think I came home, though,
probably when she was one,
you know,
and I ain't seen her in three years.
Yeah, three years.
But I called like two, three times.
She... I ain't getting in contact with her,
which I was mad about,
just 'cause I wanted
to tell her happy birthday.
Um, Father's Day I called,
I ain't get in contact with 'em.
Um, no,
I haven't even talked to her since.
But people say they saw the pictures
and stuff like that from her birthday.
And stuff, but, you know.
I I
my time will come when I talk to her.
Yeah.
Happy birthday, dear Ja'Ana
Happy birthday to you
Real ass bitch
Give a... about a nigga
Big Birkin bag, hold five, six figures
Stripes on my ass
So he call this pussy Tigger
Same group of
Hell nah!
I would love to see my father,
but my mom don't like me going to jail,
seeing my father behind bars.
You wanna tell me your song in a minute?
You wanna tell me your song in a minute?
I already got your song.
Everything was important to him
except for Ja'Ana,
so I was like, "I'm not doing that."
Why do you wanna bond with her
while you're incarcerated,
when all this time you had out here
and you didn't even really wanna
be bothered with her?
Uh-uh. Just 'cause you're outside
doesn't mean you can throw stuff anywhere.
We still have
to clean up behind ourselves.
So, if you're drinking or eating
something, put it in the trash can.
You ain't gotta go in the house.
There's two there,
two right there, and two right there.
- Do everybody understand?
- Yes.
When you hurt her, you're hurting me
because you're not here to hold her,
to try to console her, and talk to her.
So, since you don't see that,
and you don't feel that,
and you think it's okay,
well, don't call then.
Don't come around. Just leave us alone.
I don't even remember his face.
I don't remember nothing about my father.
Nothing at all.
A lot of us is just like...
For generations and generations,
just content with nothing.
You know what I'm saying?
When you was talking about values,
and I come in here,
I be thinking about the value of,
"I don't have nothing out there."
It's not normal for a 25,
26-year-old to have nothing,
but it's normal out there right now.
That's not normal.
Us being in here,
me seeing you brothers here like this?
This shit is not normal.
This shit is not acceptable.
It goes back to, like,
just because a lot of people does it,
doesn't make it normal.
Just because you see a lot of people,
let's go 200 years ago,
a lot of brothers was in shackles.
Kept happening over again,
getting whipped.
That shit wasn't normal
just because they kept doing it to us.
This is no different
than that shit 200 years ago.
Hell with patriotism
because they want this
to seem normal for all of us.
Right.
They want this shit. Them saying,
"Hey, it happens so often to you guys."
"It's it's not that bad."
It's it's it's a state.
That ain't right, man.
You know, I don't have anything against
anyone who thinks this shit is okay.
I keep coming back and forth,
and I can't judge nobody,
but the fact that I don't know
what my grandson looks like?
Mm-hmm.
That shit hurts me, man.
I wanna hit my head on the wall.
It's not normal.
However,
have you all ever heard the phrase
"That if you don't define yourself,
the world will define you"?
Yeah.
Do you know
that just by us being in this room today,
there's a negative statistic waiting
for you?
They assign you a number
when you come in here,
and you know that number like you know
your own social security number, right?
All of these trappings are definitions
for you
based upon your actions being defined
and fitting some stereotype.
But in this world,
we have to define ourselves.
We aren't taught how to love ourselves.
- We're taught to have pride in ourselves.
- Yeah.
We are taught
what we should stand up for,
what we should allow from the world,
but very often, self-love is a lesson
that escapes all of us.
And I have learned through the years,
and I'm still learning
that I have to keep
my love of self in perspective,
as I open myself up to love other people.
Unconditionally.
The whole time, I've been thinking about
when I signed up
and what I really signed up for,
and what it turned out to be for me.
I'mma just be honest.
When it first was presented to me
on my unit,
it was just presented as a dance.
So I looked at it as just, like,
another way of getting an extra visit.
- I'mma just be honest. Right?
- Mm-hmm.
I didn't expect any classes on parenting
or sitting in groups,
and I actually learned a lot of stuff,
and hearing a lot of stuff,
it helped me be able to communicate better
in my absence, right?
Yeah.
Some people,
that's the most we ever talk in here
or or or feel comfortable talking
to somebody,
so it it it means more
than y'all think it do.
Just for us to sit right here
and congregate with other men
and share our ideas
and how we feel about our family.
Well, I appreciate
being able to be in that space.
Who who started this?
So, the dance
this particular dance, okay,
is a, um, lady named Angela Patton.
In, uh lives in Richmond, Virginia.
And she's always had a passion
for work with Black girls.
Preparing them for life.
Teaching them about loving themselves.
About projecting into
the grown women they want to be.
- My girl power
- My girl power
- My girl power
- My girl power
- My girl power
- My girl power
- It looks like strength
- It looks like strength
- My girl power
- My girl power
- My girl power
- My girl power
- My girl power
- My girl power
- It looks so amazing
- It looks so amazing
- Our girl power
- Our girl power
- Our girl power
- Our girl power
- Our girl power
- Our girl power
- Our girl power
- My girl power
- My girl power
- My girl power
- It looks like me
- It looks like me
That's what power is
when we're talking about girl power.
We're not talking about
making a man feel less.
We're talking about being creative
and just trying something new
and being impactful in a way
that we never thought about before.
And that's the great thing
about having young people at the table.
These girls just needed a way
to invite their fathers
into their lives on their own terms.
And it really started with, like, circles
like what you're all experiencing today.
Hearing their challenges.
And at first, it started out
being pretty angry at you all.
They were, like, not happy, you know,
but once they started to dig deeper,
they realized that a lot of it
was coming from
what someone else told them.
It wasn't even their own experiences.
It was just like,
"Oh, we don't need him in the home."
"I'm your mama and your dad."
Those conversations made them
become angry with you, so the girls said,
"Well, I feel that
the fathers need to be celebrated."
We don't ever take time to say,
"My dad is great."
"My dad is showing up."
"My dad is consistent."
But some girls in the room
experienced just that,
so the girls wrote a letter
to the sheriff and just said,
"Well, we're gonna ask
if we can take a dance in the jail."
And he said, "No one has ever
requested something
as powerful as this moment."
"Absolutely. I would not say no to you."
I want you to remember that.
That this came from innocent minds
of little girls who are saying
that they want to be with you.
They want to share with you.
They want you to show up.
They want to count on you.
This is about healing
our families.
This is about strengthening our families.
'Cause we know
when our families are intact,
that our community thrives.
Yes, question.
This is called
the "father-daughter dance."
What if I don't know how to dance?
If you have skills like rappin',
you gotta use them.
If you can do a split or a flip,
just put down your skills
'cause there's a moment for you to shine,
so your daughters can know
what they're working with.
I have a plan for you.
'Cause we getting recorded, is it possible
to get haircuts before we come over?
I can guarantee that one.
Haircuts and you'll have suits and ties
and shoes and undershirts,
so for that moment in time,
you guys will not be,
um, Inmate So-And-So, right?
That's not the that's the goal.
So, the mom come too, with the dance?
The moms will be present in the building,
but they won't be at the actual dance.
Um, the time is literally just
for you guys and your daughter.
We wanna make sure
the moms don't get into it.
Anyone can change their mind at any time,
so don't have any arguments with Mom
in the next couple of weeks.
We will not be in any contact
with the child's mother?
- At all?
- No. Is there an issue...
- No, no, that's not an issue.
- Okay. No.
'Cause I know my my daughter, she might...
She ain't seen me in a long time,
so I know she going...
- How old is she?
- She's five.
- Probably looking for her.
- She gonna be looking.
She gonna be more comfortable
with her mother being there.
Just making sure. Anybody else have
that concern, so I can try and address it?
Is it possible we can get a pre-meet?
Is it because
you haven't seen her in years?
I've been gone for two years.
So, you've never had a touch visit, only...
I don't want her to be scared.
If I could get a show of hands
so I can see how great that need is
of people who actually haven't been
connected with their daughters
and may have a similar fear?
Now they got the visits
on a TV screen.
My child and my child's mother can be
somewhere totally different
in the jail building.
They on the screen too, on the phone,
and I'm on the phone on a screen.
And I don't I don't like that.
Say "hi!"
Say "hi."
All right.
I just gotta put some more money on.
I gotta get some more credit.
So I can see
my last two messages he wrote me.
Ten credits is five dollars.
Send pictures is, like, two credits.
Plus, they charge you a fee.
Of course, you know.
They'll charge you a fee. "Visitations."
I'm trying to learn that now.
Um, well, for a month,
it's basically way cheaper,
'cause it's only 32 dollars,
plus the tax that they add on.
Um, daily, it's, like, different prices,
$7.99, probably $4.99 a visit.
Um, for probably one visit a day,
'cause you could pay as you go.
Let me see.
Hey!
Yep.
Raspberry pebble.
Let me show you this.
Go, Dad! You showing off, huh?
Yeah, that's my baby.
I miss him being here.
It don't feel like home.
Like, it don't feel right.
It just don't feel right, like...
I don't know. I come in here,
sometimes, wanting to talk to him,
tell him about my day,
and I remember he's not here.
They should give us more time
on the phone. 15 minutes,
when he's gonna be in there
for how long?
That's crazy.
I'm just getting older and, like,
soon I'll be, like, leaving school,
graduating, stuff like that.
I'm just scared he, like, won't be here
to see the memories and stuff.
So
She's academically challenged
because she struggles on focusing,
and I'm sure she got
1,000 things on her mind,
but, um, it done led to Raziah saying
that she don't wanna be here no more.
The other day, she went up on the rooftop
she went on the rooftop,
and she was thinking about jumping off.
And that's the second time
she talked that way to me.
And I... You know, I'm doin' so much
to be there, you know.
It would be so hard if I lost her,
you know.
You don't know how much you love,
you know.
You know, "That wouldn't help your dad.
You'll break his heart."
He already suffering enough, you know.
A year tomorrow.
Last time I touched my baby
was a year ago.
Yeah, I'm gonna really enjoy this moment.
Hey, where my mama gonna sit at?
Where my mommy gonna sit at?
I want Aubrey to sit with me!
This will probably be
my 12th or 13th dance in a, um, jail
for girls and their fathers,
and mothers are always hesitant
to participate.
Um, sometimes they're hesitant to even
allow their daughters to go for it,
and I understand that it is challenging.
We get it,
but we can't just be in that space, right?
We can't be stuck,
so this is really to let you know that
we're here for you and your daughters.
We love you, and we celebrate you.
Forgiving is one of
the hardest things for us to do as humans.
And so I am clear that this is probably
one of the hardest decisions
that you moms had to make today.
So, moms, thank you
for getting out of the way.
When you go to this dance,
what are you looking forward to?
- Honesty.
- Honesty.
And bonding.
And that's hard for someone
to tell you you're in the way,
when you're the one showing up every day,
doing all of the work.
Thank you.
- You wrote that?
- Thank you.
So those of you who were like,
"I don't wanna do this thing,"
but now, hopefully,
you are feeling that it was valuable,
and that you are now
in a sister circle of your own.
That was the point.
It was to take care of you too
because you are absolutely amazing,
and somebody needed to tell you, okay?
And now we're ready
to get them fabulous.
We're ready to dance. This is a dance.
- Now let's dance!
- I love that!
Boy, I been on my P's and Q's.
"Yeah, baby, you know I love you."
You know, gotta play it cool.
"Bring my baby June first
so I can see my sugarfoot,
and everything's good." That's all.
My daughter got her dance moves
because of me.
- Yeah.
- 'Bout none of that.
She likes to dance because of me.
She used to dance to all my music.
She geekin'. She can't wait to see me.
Yeah, man. Mine is too.
It's happy. Like, it brings out
a lot of happiness, like, when...
Just to be able to,
you know, dance and connect.
'Cause the connection, like,
it gives a person, like...
Just to let you know that...
Just, you know,
the bond like me and my daughter have.
We like to dance, so I just know
this gonna mean a lot to her.
She helped me with my music.
I know when a song is not good
'cause she won't dance to it.
Memories I had from when she was
just one to five is just,
it was beautiful.
Now, she had to take a break
with just me being gone.
I just tell her, like,
"Daddy made some bad decisions." You know?
And, you know, "People make mistakes
and this was what daddy made, a mistake,
and it's not your fault
that I'm gone away."
Everything she do is just
she want to be perfect at it.
Her certificates and stuff.
Like, that's one thing I always told her.
"I want to see the whole wall filled."
And that's what she been doing.
"Daddy, I got a new certificate.
Daddy, I got more certificates."
"I got five. I got six."
It's like, "They can't fit in
a living room no more, Daddy."
"I gotta put them all in my room."
I was smart like her,
but I was just brought up different.
And the environment that I grew up in
was real rough, so, you know.
I just was like
Everything I wanted to be,
she is right now.
Like, everything I wanted to do,
she's showing me that,
you know what I'm saying?
I never thought it would be like this.
My mother was incarcerated.
I tried to duck the way how she came,
what she went through.
She did a big ten years.
I tried to not go through that.
I got a daughter. I was like,
"I'm not gonna have my daughter
go through what I've been through."
But it's like, my daughter going through
the same thing that I've been through.
I've heard several brothers
here share
that because this was
my circumstances when I was a kid,
I would not do certain things.
Even if I'm in this predicament right now,
I'm going to make sure I'm here.
Um, when I was young, I was like 14, 15,
and I had a, um
a meeting with my probation officer,
my juvenile probation officer,
and she asked... she asked me,
did I love my father?
You know? We ain't never really did that.
And I'm like, "Yeah, I love my father."
You know what I'm saying?
So, my father was like,
"Yeah, I love... Kenneth know I love him."
You know what I'm saying?
So, she was like, "Tell him you love him."
My father was like,
"We don't do that in our family."
"Kenneth know he know I love him."
You know what I'm saying?
So, at that point, I really didn't know
how to express myself, so I shut down.
Then, I'm feeling like,
"I wasn't supposed to say it."
"My father ain't say it.
I wasn't supposed to say it."
So, I shut down.
I don't wanna answer no more questions.
And unfortunately, like,
three days later, my father got killed.
- Oh wow.
- You know what I'm saying? So, um
He never got a chance to do it,
and that's something that stuck with me.
What you brought up
is something that's so important.
There's a theory out there about
something called "the father wound."
We go through these wounds that occur,
these gaps that are left,
or these holes that are made in us
from mother being absent, a mother wound,
from father being absent, a father wound,
or both parents being absent,
a parental wound
that we don't even know is there
at the time.
The father wound is very often described
as the pain that a child...
Because we are children, right?
We all have parents,
whether we knew them or not.
We are somebody's child,
whether we knew our parents or not, right?
The absence of a father
often leaves a wound.
We don't realize the pain we leave
in a where the vacuum is.
Nature will do everything it can
to fill the holes.
They find other ways to compensate
until they're confronted by the thing
that they hold responsible for that wound.
I had one nightmare.
My mom and my dad, they left me.
They were saying how they never
coming back, and they just had to go.
I woke up crying on that one
because it really, like, shook me.
I was really scared, and I was just sad.
And my dreams go black.
When I'm mad, nobody likes me.
They wish they never met me.
Kind of don't act like myself now.
The feeling hurts really bad,
and it starts to make me scream
and kick everything and punch, like,
it's just not okay.
I use BEST every single time I dance.
Even when I dance by myself,
and I gather back together.
Body, energy, space, and time.
"Body" is like when you're not stiff
and you're just smooth with it.
"Energy" means you got to be pumped up.
"Space" means you need to be spread out.
"Time" is, like,
we need to, like,
be quicker with it, not so slow.
One of the things that the dance
does is it really tackles every emotion.
And, you know, I can see a girl
not wanting to take off her dress
for a couple of more hours
when she gets home
'cause her dad got to touch that.
He's not gonna want to get out of the suit
because it was touched by his daughter.
That's how powerful it is
that you want to kind of remain
in that space as long as you can.
The power of touch
is so meaningful.
When children are removed
from touching their parent,
seeing their parent,
hearing their parent's voice,
they doubt the possibility
of surviving in the world.
The baby is aware of the human connection
and responds to being protected and loved.
The baby yearns for touch.
And as we get older,
we continue to yearn from that,
and it heals so many wounds.
Even when sometimes
those wounds sting, you're like,
"Wow, it probably would have been
a more open wound for a longer time
if I didn't take care of it."
So, you're a little scared
about the dance?
But the other girls
are going to be there too.
Yeah, they saw their fathers.
- Scared to see your dad?
- Yeah, because of his face.
Why? What's wrong with his face?
You think your father's ugly?
No. I I just... He'll probably look like,
uh, he probably looks different.
Like, I don't remember him.
I don't remember father at all.
I don't remember his face or none of that.
You're ready
to see him though, right?
- You're ready to get in that limo?
- Yep.
- I should get in the limo with you.
- Nope.
That's mean. You and the other girls
are gonna get a limo too, right?
Yep, and y'all parents not, so y'all
gonna stay y'all butts right there.
I don't care 'cause I don't
I'm not pressed to go to see your dad.
You don't got to. I could be pressed.
So, that's cute.
That's a cute little hairdo.
What song you playing tonight?
It's over now
It's over now
- I feel like I can make it
- I feel like I can make it
- The storm is over now
- The storm is over now
It's over now
It's over now
I feel like I can make it
The storm is over now
Ready for
the father-daughter dance?
Yeah.
All right. 'Cause our father-daughter
dance is really, at the end of the day,
about you connecting, strengthening,
bonding, learning about each other.
So, you need to continue to show up
'cause she wants you.
And guess what?
She gonna show up for you on Saturday,
looking beautiful and ready to dance.
I think some of the girls
already showed us their moves. All right?
And this is all my girls' plan
that they want to be with you.
They want to share with you.
They want you to show up.
They want to count on you.
They want to count on you.
That is one thing that I definitely can
say as a Black woman that is,
I'm gonna tell you my age, 48 years old,
that I have been able
to count on my father since day one.
And it means everything and every decision
that I have ever made in my life.
My father, I'm gonna give him a shout-out,
shined up all y'all shoes yesterday.
'Cause ain't nobody can shine shoes
like an 80-year-old man.
They said, "You gotta get
these shoes shined, Angela."
"Who gonna do them?"
I was like, "My dad." Right?
So, just to let you know,
I'm still counting on him.
Okay? Even to help you,
I'm counting on my daddy.
- That's how important fatherhood is.
- Mm-hmm.
Ready? Together. Bring this one around.
Bring this one up.
Bring it down to your right side.
- We're there, right?
- Yeah.
Bring it back around.
Bring it back around.
What color is my dad gonna wear?
When I don't see my dad that makes me mad,
and it makes me want to miss him,
but now I'm getting happier
because I'm gonna see him.
I'm so nervous.
It's it's
How many is a week?
I I don't like weeks.
Come with me, my love
To the sea, the sea of love
I want to tell you how much I love you
Do you remember when we met?
That's the day I knew you were my pet
I want to tell you how much I love you
Come with me
To the sea
Of love
Do you remember when we met?
That's the day I knew you were my pet
I want to
I like it.
What's up with my hair?
I'm scared.
Oh my God, I'm scared.
I don't think my dad remembers me.
- I never visit my father.
- So, you haven't seen him in a long time?
That's why I'm scared.
You can't hide.
You got one.
I want to see my father.
Where's my father?
I don't know.
Follow me. It's up here.
Yeah, I'm nervous.
I'm gonna let her get the table first
because I know
she sure have a lot to talk about.
I can't get into competition.
All my dances still in the '90s, man.
You gotta bring them out, man.
Show them what's up.
That's all. Yeah.
I ain't never went to the prom.
I don't know about none of y'all.
Look, y'all. Y'all can see the, um
Look, y'all. Y'all can see the, um
What's it called? The
- What's it called?
- Jail cells.
- No.
- Jail?
- The gym?
- No.
- You don't want to see that.
- What?
The jail cells. She said
she wanted to see how the jail cells look.
Don't her legs look like a lady?
For a, um, jail.
I think I think
I think my father shot somebody.
I don't know what my father did.
I'mma ask him though.
- I'm gonna be like, "Why are you in jail?"
- I really know what he did.
- Don't tell my mother 'cause...
- I swear to God.
Hey.
One, two, three, four, five
Once I caught a fish alive
That's our fathers?
Is that our dads in the hallway?
And I'm the
- I miss you.
- I miss you too.
- Yeah?
- I miss you too.
Yeah. I love you, baby. You happy?
- Mm-hmm.
- A kiss on the cheek.
I love you. I like your hair.
- You have a bald head just like Papa.
- Yeah.
Daddy!
I miss you.
'Sup?
What's up, y'all?
You all right?
It's all right.
It's okay. It's okay.
I. Love. My. Dad!
I missed you.
I love y'all.
It's okay.
It's all right. It's okay.
Y'all look so beautiful.
- I'm saying jail's not a place to be.
- It's not a place to be?
Mm-hmm.
I didn't even know
that was you coming through.
Your hair was just so pretty, I think
You didn't know who I was?
I didn't.
You had your hair blown out.
I didn't know that was you
'cause it's looking different.
Like, you see Daddy bald head.
But I knew who you were,
so I just ran to you.
Yeah.
If I run to you...
If I look different,
and I don't look like Aubrey,
and I run to you, I'm Aubrey.
Okay.
You're going straight to the red carpet,
then to the same table.
Mr. Keith Sweptson
and Miss Aubrey Smith!
- Hey...
- Come on up here!
Look around.
- All right, girlfriend.
- Look at the camera.
Show us your walk.
Show us the runway walk. Oh!
Show your model walk.
That's right, girl.
Yeah, there you go.
You got your model walk. Spin around.
She's got some bounce
in her step. Oh my!
- Look at the camera.
- What a pretty dress.
Coming up next is a lucky dad
because he's got two angels on his arm.
Right now?
- Yeah.
- Yeah, Dad.
Yeah.
Turn around and face the same way.
- I...
- Shut up.
Yeah.
And new pictures.
Coulda get some pictures.
All right. Nice job.
Not flash. That one was flash.
Hold on. You can do this one, okay?
It doesn't work when you...
No, they don't work.
The flash ain't on.
You gotta you gotta wind it.
This pink matches my color.
So, what you doing at school?
You going to the dances?
Is this a prom dance?
We're learning about a new song, like
We are family
Come on everybody with
Sing.
I don't know how to say it.
It's okay. It's okay. Don't give up.
I tell you, "Don't give up."
- You always keep trying.
- The song goes
We are family
- Know that, Daddy?
- What's that? Monday?
Uh-huh. So, make the "M" in sign language,
and then face it to you in a circle.
Oh, that's Monday.
Make the "T" in sign language
and do the same.
Tuesday?
Mm-hmm. Do the "W" sign language.
- And...
- Wednesday?
Now, it's Sunday,
you put hands up and hands down, so
Sunday. What's today? Saturday. So, it's
- So, today is this day.
- Yeah.
Over here.
Yours not hard enough. Look.
Oh, yeah?
- Damn.
- I'm the biggest person in this room.
- Stop lying.
- I'm the biggest person.
- No, you're not.
- Do you want me to stand up?
What, you want me
to show everybody? Aight, aight?
You embarrassing.
Man
- Dad, you gotta write something in it.
- I ain't gotta write it right now, do I?
- Yeah. I need my pen.
- I can't keep the pen. I'm playing...
All right, come on. He's writing in there.
- He's writing something to you.
- Yeah, girl.
You need to write a lot.
You need to fill them out.
- This whole thing?
- No, just the one page.
- I ain't about to write this whole page.
- You is.
- I'm not.
- You are.
- I'll 'bout to show you.
- I'm about to fight you.
- I'm about to show you.
- Okay.
"XOXO, Dad."
"Dad." Put "Dad."
Put "Dad!"
- Can we take two pictures?
- "Can we take two pictures," she said.
- All right, y'all ready?
- I like pink glasses.
Ten ten times seven is 70.
Ten times eight is 80.
Ten times nine is 90.
Ten times ten is 100.
Ten times eleven is 110. Ten...
I can't... I can go up...
I remember one day
I went up all the way to ten times 40.
You smarter than me.
Ten times 100 is 1,000.
High five. That's what I'm talking about.
You ahead of the class, baby.
I'm I'm the smartest one in my classroom.
Stay like that.
So, what is this whole big building?
Um, it's, uh, It's like a gym.
It's where we come play basketball.
Y'all could play basketball?
Yeah. Yep.
Like y'all go to the gym at school.
That's how it be.
We go outside and play basketball,
or we come in the gym.
When you get out?
Um, I don't know. I'm hopin' I...
I'm supposed to go to court July 16th.
You said you were supposed
to go to court last Monday...
I know, but they pushed it off.
They pushed it...
I was supposed to go May the 7th.
They pushed it off.
Want Daddy to talk to you about, um,
you know, Daddy be gone for how many
- birthdays...
- Seven.
- Seven or eight? Seven or eight?
- Seven.
I want it to be seven too.
If I be good, I come home in seven, okay?
Gotta stay good.
- Come home at what?
- Hopefully, seven.
When you are a teenager,
daddy be back home.
- I'm gonna be I'm gonna be 12.
- 12 12 or 13.
- Twelve.
- I know. I wanna it to be twelve too.
It's still gonna go fast, Bre.
I know you want me to come back fast.
Okay. We're about
to make this dance happen.
- Three
- We're gonna make this happen.
- two
- Then we'll get y'all with the daughters.
- one.
- Yes.
Turn and face one
of your daughters or your daughter.
Oh, I love it. I love it. I love it.
Yes.
May I have this dance?
- Yes.
- Okay. We'll wait.
Gentlemen,
"May I have this dance?"
- May I have this dance?
- May I have this dance?
Ladies, "With pleasure."
- With pleasure.
- With pleasure.
- May I have this dance?
- No.
I got told "no." It's over with.
- Now with music.
- So, can I go sit down?
Six, please begin. You go.
Yeah.
Look! Everybody doing it!
You don't wanna dance? Aight, then.
I'm gonna go sit down.
Five, six, merengue, go!
Yes, march in place!
Yes! Yes!
I love it! I love it!
I love it! I love it!
Yes! All right.
- I told you I'm Mexican.
- No, you're not.
Yes!
It's wrong. You don't really...
She don't make me think that you start it.
I think she be startin' it sometimes.
And I think she just want something
to fight about,
and I think the same about you.
- It's okay.
- Y'all shouldn't do that.
You ain't gotta worry.
Say what song?
Whoop that move right here.
Whoop it, whoop it
Nothin', nothin'
Let me see who leg stanky right there!
Okay, that Stanky leg!
Hey, yo' leg need some lotion,
and yo' leg needs some lotion.
Yo' leg need two Benadryl!
Your leg needs some rope
to pull it back up and down.
Put some more into that thang! C'mon!
You gotta make a face when you do it!
Come on, at the same time!
Give 'em something!
Give 'em something! Give 'em something!
This right here, y'all! This is y'all.
Electric heartbeat
Let's go dads!
Let's go daughters! Hey!
Come on with it!
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
Come on! Hey!
Have a good time!
Have a good time! Hey!
Have a good time!
Hey.
Now put your hands in the air!
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
Watch this!
Everybody sing this song! Hey! Hey!
Get my get my foot! Get my foot!
Sing it! Come on, sing it!
Before I let you go
I never, never, never, never
Never, never, never, never, let you go
Before I go
You win, girl!
- Do it one more time.
- What's that?
- Huh?
- Pick me up one more time.
You want me to pick you up one more time?
Daddy hot. Daddy sweating.
One more time.
- We go get some napkins?
- One more time. Just one.
Give y'allselves
a round of applause.
- Clap, clap, clap, clap.
- Clap!
All right. We need everybody
in a circle here.
Lovely girls, give them some love.
Everybody here?
You have a boutonniere,
which was given to you
as a token of your commitment
to your daughter.
What I want you to do is to detach
that boutonniere from your sleeve
and when you give it to your daughter,
I want you to tell her
what you commit to her.
Daddy coming home.
Okay, but are we gonna go back
to our tables?
When you're ready,
take your time, share your promise.
We're not gonna be able
to visit you anymore?
Yeah, you can still visit me.
Why do you say that?
But where are you going?
You're talking about when I go?
I'm probably going to New Jersey.
So we gotta drive
all the way out to New Jersey?
- Do you want to?
- Yes.
- Why?
- Because.
Aight. You gonna come see me, then?
We gotta drive them little buses.
- You know what this mean?
- No.
This mean I gotta make a promise to you.
Want me to tell you my promise?
Mm-hmm.
I promise to never leave you again.
- Okay.
- You don't want that, do you?
You want me to stay in your life forever?
So, you gonna keep that forever?
You sure?
- Who love you more than Daddy?
- Nobody.
Can we talk a little bit more
at the table?
We gonna sit here for a second.
Stand here and talk to Daddy.
Okay? Connection.
I don't wanna let you go.
I don't wanna
let you go neither, baby.
But we need to.
I ain't gonna be gone forever.
Daddy's still gonna be here, okay?
Okay.
I'm stressing my brain 'cause Daddy needs
to start thinking positive.
- Think...
- That big old head.
- Think, "I am," in your brain.
- Yes.
Brain. Think, think, think.
Come here. Pull it together.
It's all right. Pull it together.
I ain't got but 14 months left. All right?
- Yeah.
- I'm depending on you.
Look at me.
I'm depending on you.
Go get me some certificates,
all right?
You gotta keep doing good.
The more you be good, Daddy be good.
So, if you be good more,
you gonna come home less than seven years?
I hope so.
We gotta wait.
You livin'?
Right up here.
I'm sorry.
I'm really sorry.
I promise.
And I promise
that my change starts here.
My change starts here.
Before I get out.
I give you this
for protecting our promise.
I love you.
I had way too much fun
watching you.
- I'mma cry myself to sleep.
- You gonna cry yourself to sleep?
Make sure they happy tears
'cause Daddy gonna be home.
Y'all gotta stay strong.
Y'all gotta stay strong, all right?
Okay.
is always with you,
and you get to carry that with you always.
Let's go.
I'mma miss you.
I'll miss you too.
I don't wanna let you go!
I'm gonna be okay.
Take three deep breaths,
and then we gonna say, "See you later."
Huh?
Take three deep breaths,
and then we'll say, "See you later."
I'mma see you later!
If you say "bye,"
it means you're never seeing them again.
- So promise.
- Right.
I promise you I will not say "bye."
See you later, okay?
- Okay.
- Don't say "bye."
I love you.
I'll see you later, okay?
- Okay.
- I love you.
I love you too.
Bre.
I'mma tell you
I'mma always be here.
I'mma always be here for you.
Yeah, I know it's hard.
- Love you, baby.
- Mm-hmm.
See you later, Bre.
Love you, baby.
Love you, Bre.
It's going to be all right.
Trust me.
I'm gonna miss my dad.
Are you okay? All right.
Okay.
Brothers,
can we get in a circle again?
Remember, we talked about this, right?
It's gonna be a roller coaster up,
and we always know it's a hill that comes.
One thing for sure is the fact
that regardless of where you end up,
regardless of where you go,
regardless of the choices you make here,
I think today is testimony to the fact
that you know these babies need you.
Stand on your commitment to them.
They need y'all to stand for them,
whether it's gonna be two weeks
when you see 'em,
whether it'll be 20 years
when you see 'em.
Whether it'll be a visitation
or whether it'll be a level.
They need you. They need you.
Don't you ever question
the fact that they need you.
This is for life.
You their fathers for life.
Let that pain you feel
be part of that fuel.
Your babies are forgiving and supportive,
but you gotta keep
your hearts turned towards them.
Man, yeah, man.
Well, I loved seeing y'all
hanging with y'all daughters.
Mine wasn't able to get here,
but after seeing all of y'all
bein' able to appreciate y'all children,
man, made my day.
So, my daughter was here in my heart,
but she wasn't here with me.
I'm proud of y'all, boys.
All of y'all are gonna
be home soon to y'all kids.
Mo, just pray.
Don't you ever give up praying, Slim.
No matter what religion you is,
don't you give up praying.
'Cause guess what?
God knows y'all kids need you home,
so He gonna get you home
as long you trust and believe.
Whether you gotta come back on appeal
or whatever, man, y'all gonna get there.
And when you get there, son,
you stay there, man.
Like he said,
the streets don't want us, man.
We here 'cause we thought they did, Mo.
They don't love us. Our kids love us.
They need us, homes.
I love all y'all much, man.
- And respect, man.
- Indeed.
- We love you too.
- Indeed.
I see you in the dark
'Cause I've been where you are
You're too scared to show me love
'Cause you're too fresh with the scars
I found my love and I
I don't wanna lose it again
No, I don't wanna lose you now
No, I don't wanna lose you now
No, I don't wanna lose you now
No, I don't wanna lose you now
No, I don't wanna lose you now
So we're gonna do some unpacking today
and talk about what happened,
what's gonna happen, and all that stuff.
Anybody got anything new they wanna share?
Any thoughts
before we start getting into it?
Crickets.
Okay, um
So, let's go back to the dance.
It was... It was... It... It hurt.
I I got back to my cell
and and and cried, you know? And...
Just trying to picture her in my mind
right there in front of me, talking to me,
so I could get back in happy spirits
'cause that was like...
Her hair
Just, looking like she was right there
and she was in in front of me, like
Yeah, it was tough, um
The worst part was when I had
to get on my knee and talk to 'em.
Like, I couldn't really look at 'em
because they was crying so hard.
Like, you know...
I apologized to them, though.
It helped.
It helped to get it out.
You cry for the people you love, so
Getting glossy-eyed now.
I don't hide things from my children.
- You know?
- Right.
They know what's up.
They know what's going on.
And, um, you know, I'm Daddy for real.
So, the dark-skinned one,
that's my niece...
- Okay.
- Right?
But her father been locked up
since she was two.
- Okay.
- So, she's really my daughter.
- Indeed.
- And, um
the bonds that I build with my children,
it's, like, it's big, it's really big.
And, uh, she gave me
some real encouraging words, man.
She was like, "Dad, don't worry about it.
You'll be home in bit. I got you."
- You see how they lift us back up?
- That was cool.
We think we being strong for them,
and they pour back into us,
but that's the exact reason
why you don't give up on them.
Right.
We all say like, "We gotta get home, man."
"We can't come back,"
and all this and all that,
but that's the day I actually felt
like I can't come back to prison no more.
Like, I never felt it.
You know what I'm saying?
That hurt, so I don't even wanna come back
just because of how I felt that day.
Earth takes one year
to circle around Sun.
So so one year... So it will stop,
and one year later it will go,
and it will keep going.
It will keep going,
and it will never stop.
One, two, three, four, five,
six, seven, and I see my dad.
No.
Happy birthday to you
No.
I don't want no music.
No music.
- No music.
- Nope.
- Just regular happy birthday.
- Nope.
I think he's gonna call you
on Saturday.
But you could send him a message
in the email if you like.
Hey, Bre!
Can you hear me?
- Fifty-three. Sixty.
- The phone is in and out.
- Baby?
- Four.
This call
is from a federal prison.
Fifty...
You see, you know
how to answer the phone when Daddy call?
Yep.
So, make sure when Daddy call,
when you see Daddy calling,
put that
put that game down and answer the phone.
Okay.
I wish you was coming home right now.
I wish I can too, baby.
I got her these jeans from Zara.
Um
She, um...
Skinny jeans anyways, so,
and they stretch, so
I try to get her get her these ones.
And hopefully, she fit 'em,
she should be able to fit these.
And I got her
a Kenneth Cole leather jacket.
You have a job yet?
Well, I have to get my ID.
I had one waiting.
Uh, what kinda job?
Working at the receiving home
with some juveniles.
Are you changing?
- Am I changing?
- Yeah, like...
Yeah. Far as what?
- Like...
- I change every day.
No, not... Oh my goodness.
Like, personality-wise.
That's what I'm talking about.
I change every day.
- Okay.
- I don't stay the same.
I change every day,
every second, every minute.
Yeah.
Wow. Oh my gosh.
Like, this is my dad.
We could talk about
our future together,
but now I gotta earn your trust back
'cause you've been gone for so long.
I always think about that dance.
When I can touch him it's like
it's like nothing else on Earth.
When I first got in there,
I first saw him,
I was like,
"Oh my God. Dad looks so nice."
You started crying ASAP.
Yeah, it was like,
"I can't even believe this."
Like, here right now!
Like, "Dad, you're, like,
right here right now. Like, let's go."
- Let's go.
- "Forget this dance. Let's go."
Yeah, get you outta here.
Then, there wasn't any dancing.
Just took pictures.
- Mm-hmm.
- It was nice.
They should have sung Beyonc, "Freedom."
Freedom, freedom, I can't move
Freedom, cut me loose
Say, freedom, freedom, where are you?
- Hey, 'cause I need freedom too
- 'Cause I need freedom too
I break chains all by myself
Won't let my freedom rot in hell
Hey! I'mma keep it running
'Cause a winner
Don't quit on themselves
Hey!
I always think about that dance,
and I always go back to that day.
It always helps me out. It helps me cope.
It made me feel motivated, like,
"He gonna be home soon,
so you can't let him
come home disappointed."
"Gotta stand your ground."
Raziah Brooks.
I wish he was here now.
He wish he was here too.
But I did this for us.
And when he come home,
he gonna see it, so it's okay.
I got this for him, though.
I got this for him.
Free my heart.
Free my dad.
'Cause, you know, his daughter did it!
His firstborn did it! You know?
You know
his firstborn gonna do it every time.
Period.
He just, like, popped up.
He came home around four
in the morning. I was sleeping.
He just woke me out my sleep.
I thought it was still a dream and then,
I was just like, "Oh, this is for real."
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday, dear 'Tana
Happy birthday to you
- How old are you?
- Make a wish.
- Thirteen!
- All right, make your wish.
Don't blow
- Yeah!
- Yay!
Thirteen.
All right. Go ahead, go ahead.
The father-daughter dance, it it
it was different, it was different,
like I said,
'cause it's no touch visits in jail,
so for me to be able to hug my daughter
and play fight with her.
You know, she likes play fighting,
but for me to do that,
like I said, it was definitely amazing.
I wasn't... For for that six hours,
I wasn't incarcerated.
My mind was literally with my daughter.
I wasn't thinking about nothing.
Like, when it was time for her to go,
I was I was I was confused.
When it was time for the dance,
I was confused, like,
"Damn, wait a minute.
I'm not going home with my daughter?"
Yeah, so it was definitely amazing.
It was definitely amazing.
Throughout my whole life,
I never stayed out of prison
for more than, I wanna say, six months.
It's like, I come home,
it wasn't it ain't take me six months,
I was already locked up again.
And me just being able to spend time
with my daughter while I was locked up
when they did the dance...
It's it's it's going on four years,
and I haven't been rearrested,
so I would definitely say, you know,
it was a definitely a life-changer for me.
- What is it? What's the F-word?
- F-U.
- Let me hear you say it.
- No!
Why not? You say it any other time.
You say it when I'm not around.
You might as well go ahead and say it.
Nuh-uh. Atrocious.
You know
you know Cardi B got a twin sister?
She she work out a lot.
Her twin sister work out a lot.
Cardi B's twin sister.
Her name is, uh, Cardi O.
For real, stop! Daddy, stop!
That's enough. That's enough.
- That's it?
- That's enough.
Aight. I ain't gonna...
You right. You right.
This way.
Move! What? Move.
- Come on.
- Hey. Come here.
Chicken ready. Stop running. Stop running.
You want some fish, Mimi? Want some...
You're gonna hold your plate. You're
gonna waste your food. Want some fish?
- She's not getting it.
- She gonna grab. You gotta push it back.
We need the booster for her
so we can put the car seat in there.
You better not grab nothing over here.
He's doing actually well.
Like, he's doing it.
Like, he's actually doing
what we was talking about.
Eat yo' food.
You got all that food right there.
You got fish, fries, macaroni,
fried rice, broccoli, and, um
Yeah, I was I'm just happy.
Bre, can you get up now,
so we can start to get ready?
Bre?
Bre?
No!
You up?
You sure?
You sure?
Are you sure?
Where you headed?
- Uh, to visitations.
- Where at?
Um, USP...
USP medium or the low?
Medium.
Okay, I need to check all
scan all over you.
When I came out,
she really didn't recognize me.
There was plexiglass between us.
Couldn't hear I couldn't hear.
She wouldn't open up to me.
I thought it was like,
oh, she was upset with me.
It got to me a lot, you know?
I I thought it would be better.
I would like to touch her,
so it could reset.
When she asked to leave,
I was just like, "Oh"
It was, like, very hard on me.
Yeah, I can hear you now.
I can hear you way better now.
Okay.
Did you ever get...
You finally got something to eat?
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
We we went to Applebee's.
- Huh?
- We went to Applebee's!
Yeah.
I tried calling you. I tried calling you.
You didn't answer,
so I figured you probably was eating.
My phone was in the car. I think.
Okay.
- You had a good visit on Daddy?
- Mm-hmm.
Could've been better.
I can't wait to touch you.
Glad to see you.
Glad to see you some more.
Mm-hmm.
Hey, I was just talking about you.
Daddy misses you. I talk about you.
Okay.
I brag about how smart you are.
Okay.
Okay.
Y'all almost home?
- Hello?
- Yeah?
Y'all almost home?
We're probably
still a couple more hours away.
If I don't call you sometime soon,
like in a couple of days,
I'll have to call you after the 22nd.
Okay.
- I'm collecting my minutes now.
- Okay.
- You there?
- Yes.
I'm about to call Grandma,
to check on Grandma.
Okay.
- Love you.
- Love you too.
Love you more.
Love you more.
All right.
Be good.
Okay. You too.
Yeah.
That's all right, that's all right
That's all right, that's all right
Since my soul
Got a seat up in the kingdom
That's all right
My, my mama, how you walkin' low
Your feet may slip
But your soul aint gone
Since my soul
Got a seat up in the kingdom
That's all right
That's all right, that's all right
That's all right, that's all right
Since my soul
Got a seat up in the kingdom
That's all right
Hush, little baby, don't you cry
You know your mother been born to die
Since my soul
Got a seat up in the kingdom
That's all right
That's all right, that's all right
It'll be all right, it'll be all right
Since my soul
Got a seat up in the kingdom
That's all right
Jacob laugh so long and tall
You ain't gonna feel it
You're sure to fall
Since my soul
Got a seat up in the kingdom
That's all right
My, my mama, how you walkin' low
Your feet may slip
But your soul aint gone
Since my soul
Got a seat up in the kingdom
That's all right
I wanna dedicate this song
To the most wonderful person that I know
She filled my life with joy and happiness
And I have her love wherever I go
I wanna tell her
How I feel about her tonight, listen
You're the sweetest thing
On this side of heaven
You're the sweetest thing
On this side of heaven
It ain't no love, ain't no love, no
Like my baby's love
You bring me so much joy and happiness
Ooh, like it rains from above
Oh, baby
You're the sweetest thing
On this side of heaven
You're the sweetest thing
On this side of heaven
I don't need much money
I don't need no big fine car
Other temptations
Don't bother me no more
'Cause you're my only pride and joy
Yeah, baby
You're the sweetest thing
On this side of heaven
My baby, my baby, my baby
You're the sweetest thing
On this side of heaven
I don't need no doctor
Whenever I'm in pain
You cool my scorching fever
Simply by calling my name
Hey, hey, yeah
You're the sweetest thing
On this side of heaven
You're the sweetest thing
On this side of heaven
Let me say it one more time
You're the sweetest thing
On this side of heaven