David and the Elves (2021) Movie Script

Hello to you all! This is Elf FM.
Today is the toughest day of the year.
It's a nice -32 degrees Celsius
outside with some heavy snowfall.
Have a good one! Ho, ho, ho!
Start production!
Nice ride, Albert!
Tooth Fairy gave me a good price.
She snatched coins from a bank every week.
Automatic, 120 reindeer power.
-Heated seats.
-And winter runners.
Here we have Charlie Chaplin
who got a bowler hat.
A few years later,
he became a famous actor.
Here is the young Alfred Nobel.
He got matches, and a few years later
he discovered dynamite.
-What's Santa's wife called?
-Merry Christmas.
You could have said you didn't know.
Yay, kids!
-Who do you want to be when you grow up?
-The best elf in the world.
Like you.
-Why not Santa?
-That makes no economic sense.
He flies around, gives tons of gifts,
-but no one believes in him.
-You've got a point.
Let me tell you a secret.
I don't want to be Santa either.
You know why?
-Do you know why?
Have you ever talked to Mrs. Claus?
Who wants Alfred the Elf T-shirts?
All shepherds flock to Bethlehem
-Isn't that too high?
-We can go lower.
But you don't have to sing.
You're horrible at it.
Really horrible.
What are you doing, Piotrek?
Not so loud!
Carolers should sing,
not roar like wild animals.
You forgot you were young once.
Come here, Dawid.
Sing Grandpa a Christmas carol.
I can't, we're chasing a reindeer.
-Dad gets in the way.
-Where's the reindeer?
He's invisible. Magical.
How will you get by in Warsaw, honey?
Mom, it's really not that far.
-Dawid is so happy here.
-I know, but he needs to evolve.
They have great schools,
cultural institutions there.
-We only have one cinema here.
-But it's so beautiful here.
-The air is fresh. What more do you want?
-The closest opera is in Cracow.
-Maybe he'll finally grow up.
-He's only ten.
I wasn't talking about Dawid.
I'm Kshir Wakabayashi the Elf.
Ladies and gentlemen,
It looks like this year,
for the fifth time in a row,
our employee of the year is
Albert the Elf!
What's your secret?
Why is your Christmas spirit so strong?
I'd like to take this opportunity
to thank all my fans and people on Earth.
Knowing you love and admire me
gives me so much power!
I'm sorry, Albert.
This is a bit awkward, but
People don't watch our TV channel.
They don't?
That's their loss.
I'll just say, this is not my last word.
Good luck.
How did I do?
That wasn't all true.
All of that is your doing.
I wanted to sound modest.
You really do love yourself.
Don't be jealous of me.
I think about people every day.
"Santa's Helper's Crazy Adventures."
Are you kidding me?
Great book. Exciting, beautiful pictures.
I read the whole thing. You should too.
He believes in all this crap.
Kids will laugh at him.
It'll be your fault.
It's not crap. And it'll be Santa's fault.
I'm just wrapping the gift.
Wait till you see yours.
-I'm scared already.
-As you should be.
Could I please, just this once,
get a bad gift, like other women?
A cherry stoner,
a pair of man's socks
The Christmas spirit won't allow it.
-Will it allow this?
-Hell, yeah.
New York is snowed-under.
Careful over the Caribbeans, hurricanes.
Thanks to global warming,
there is no snow in Europe this year,
except in the mountains,
Mazuria and Suwaki.
Atmospheric pressure normal.
Belief in the magic of Christmas
in children under 10, stable.
Only 90% power?
You know what these counters are good for?
I miss the old Swiss ones.
Stop ringing, it's so annoying!
-Look at this
-Boss, stop.
-What is it?
-Ouch! What are you doing?
-A black hair.
-What if someone saw it?
-How? I'm invisible.
-All right.
-Ho, ho, ho, boss.
We checked the chassis.
Filled the reindeer with biofuel.
Comet has dandruff.
And Rudolph hates the new shoes.
He'll break them in.
-Anything else?
Wait, honey, not so fast.
You forgot your second dinner.
-I won't have time to eat.
-Eat it.
Celery, steamed broccoli.
And absolutely no fast foods.
Keep an eye on him, Albert.
Sure, boss.
Be careful out there.
Both of you.
My elves!
Ho, ho, ho!
Ho, ho, ho!
Let's go.
Merry Christmas!
Merry Christmas to you too!
Hi, girls!
My wish for you, Kasiula,
is that you and Maciek get along.
I know you're angry with him,
but he is a bull.
You can't cheat nature.
will animals be talking tonight?
Of course, they always do.
After the midnight mass,
Kasiula and I will have a chat.
-What will she say?
-Always the same thing.
She needs to move to the city.
The opera is too far.
Very funny.
She wouldn't say such a silly thing.
She's fine here. Right, Kasiula?
Come on!
Grandma says pierogi are getting cold.
-We're coming.
What do you wish for, my child?
I don't know.
I wish Piotrek would lose that hat.
-What is it?
Do you think Santa brought the gifts yet?
I'm sure of it.
Wait. Can you hear it?
Santa's invisible sleigh
is still there, see?
They really are invisible!
Look. Rudolph is first. Then Donner.
And Comet. Santa is sitting in the sleigh.
Who's holding the reigns? An elf?
Albert the Elf!
Yes, that's Albert!
Merry Christmas!
Ho, ho, ho!
What are you doing?
People can't see us.
So why are they waving?
Maybe they're just
stretching their wrists.
Let's go.
All shepherds flock to Bethlehem
To play for the baby a sweet melody
Glory be in high Heaven
And peace down on Earth
Glory be in high Heaven
And peace
Down on Earth
Good job, kids.
Let's sit down.
No, no.
This is a place for a lost wanderer.
-He never comes anyway.
-You never know.
Come here, Dawid.
This is actually a place for the dead.
Stop it, Piotrek.
-They always come.
-That's right.
Look, there's auntie Aurelia.
I met uncle Kornel in the hall.
-Me too!
And who's sitting
behind the tree, as usual?
Old Mrs. Popielak!
Stop saying these things
in front of the kids.
He'll have nightmares.
-And so will I.
-No, you don't.
Let it to all be known
That the Child of God is born
In Bethlehem
In Bethlehem
Merry Christmas!
Thank you!
Here's your lost wanderer.
-Sit down, Mietek.
-Anka, Piotrek.
-Is it true what people are saying?
-It is.
-We'll be at Wilanw by Epiphany.
-In Wilanw.
An old elf
offered me a job in his law firm,
how could I say no?
-I got a job offer too, right?
I'm sad to see you go,
-but congratulations are in order.
-Thank you.
-Next year, Christmas in Warsaw?
-That's right.
-I'm not sure we'll all fit in there
Of course we will.
-Sit down with us, Mietek.
-I can't.
Four other families are waiting for me.
-Merry Christmas!
-Merry Christmas, Mietek!
Thank you.
-Let's eat, everyone.
-Wait a second.
Not so fast.
-Any good kids around?
-What did you do there?
You know, where. In the mountains.
I didn't do anything.
Don't you ever do that again, Albert.
Go, Rudolph! Go, Comet!
-You got a big one.
-No wonder.
There is something for Dawid, too.
Where is the book?
Albert the Elf!
-It's great.
-Did you change the gift?
You got Santa.
I didn't. Must've been Santa.
-Very funny.
-It was magic.
A cherry stoner, just like you wanted.
-Yes, boss?
-How are you doing?
-Are the pierogi ready?
Christmas is no joke, that's for sure.
-But that's not why I'm calling.
The presentation starts at noon.
This could be your big break.
Bye now.
Bloody sparrows!
Darn it!
What are you doing?
Leave my lunette alone!
Boss, real talk.
Why can't we talk to people?
People are tricky.
You never know what they come up with.
People love us.
We give them gifts, they send us letters.
Have you ever met a human? I have.
You bring them gifts,
and they call you horrible names.
Thief! Everyone! There's a thief there!
NYC, USA, 1992
It can be dangerous.
For people, of course.
For me, it's mostly embarrassing.
Every time someone sees me on the roof,
I always hear the same thing.
There is something magical
about putting gifts under the tree.
But sometimes the situation
can change very quickly.
I got you, bastard!
Why are you in my daughter's chambers?
I'll let you have it!
Trust me. We're lucky we have our magic.
No matter where and when.
It's always the same.
My biggest disappointment was Emilia.
Merry Christmas, my dear Emilie!
She seemed like a lovely kid.
I know it's been a few years.
80 years.
But a vase?
People love me.
-Everyone was waving at me.
It was just two guys.
And they weren't waving at you.
The sleigh is invisible.
How many times do I have to tell you?
So why were they waving at the sky?
If they didn't see us, they wouldn't wave.
I'm not talking to you.
For the smartest elf here,
you can be really dumb.
Go to sleep. Christmas is coming.
We'll have a lot to do in the morning.
Ho, ho, ho, boss.
Hey there, sweetie. What's wrong?
Warsaw doesn't even have snow.
Listen, when I was your age,
I could only dream
about a house like this.
About a living room like this. I had to
Herd the sheep.
Herd the rams.
Milk cows.
Chop tons of firewood.
I had to walk 5 km to school.
Even in winter.
That's it. And there were no buses.
Don't you like anything here?
I do like one thing.
We're closer to the opera.
Since we're talking,
I ordered your king costume
for the Nativity play.
-Do you know who's making it?
-I do.
The magic tailor.
The best royal costumes specialist
in this part of the world.
He dressed King Matt the First himself.
-Everyone knows that.
-That's great.
-Of course it's great!
Maybe you're ill?
-I'm not, mom.
-Let me see.
Come, we'll check your temperature.
I'll check yours, too.
Ho, ho, ho, Albert.
-What's wrong?
I can see it's not nothing.
Why do you look so down?
I'm an elf, that's how I look.
Why are we doing all this, Erwin?
-I don't understand.
-Neither do I.
And neither does Santa.
He talks about the magic of Christmas,
but he never celebrated it,
he's just running around with that bag.
You're at 62%.
Must be broken.
My life is broken,
so how can I have any power?
What do you mean, how?
We love people,
we give them gifts, they love us back,
the magic of Christmas is born,
and that's where
How can people love me
if they never saw me?
I've been working day and night.
What are you talking about?
We only work once a year, on Christmas
That's the one day of the year
I'm talking about!
Even if you don't work all year,
this should be a holiday!
That's what Christmas is all about.
Not working at all.
It's a holiday.
Come. We'll have some Christmas borscht.
We'll talk about the olden day elves.
Or get some pierogi
and watch "Home Alone."
-Come on.
-No way.
-I'm leaving.
Now? Where will you go?
To charge my batteries.
Feel the power of a real Christmas.
Where are you going?
Where people wave at me.
Pass the ball, Micha.
Hey, new guy!
He's so touchy.
What is it?
Spit it out!
It's about Albert.
What about him?
He ran away.
Not ran away, exactly.
He decided it's a holiday.
I mean, he didn't decide that, he just
He went to meet the people?
Hi there!
What happened?
Bye now.
Ho, ho, ho. I see you recognize me.
You look like Albert the Elf, sir.
That's right.
You can call me Albert. Come on.
-Show me around.
-Excuse me!
-My truck!
-That's right.
Looks exactly like a truck.
It was a smashing hit in 2015.
People would do anything
to get it for Christmas.
-But where's my truck?
-Right here.
On the house.
How about a Christmas hug?
Merry Christmas!
Why are you so silent?
Sir, can you pinch me?
Sure. But you promised to call me Albert.
-Was it a good pinch?
-It hurt a little.
I've never pinched anyone before.
I must have a gift for it.
His power was down. That happens.
-But why didn't he talk to me about it?
-What would you say?
-Work, work, work.
-That's right!
The more gifts we deliver,
the more power we have.
-That's how it works.
Excuse me?
Albert is young.
He wants to see the world.
Don't you get it?
-We're not invisible among people.
-So what?
If you want to lose the belly,
start exercising.
And quit the sweets. You're stress eating,
and then you're embarrassed to go out.
It's not about the belly!
I know what it's about, honey.
-People are afraid of us.
-No, Clausey.
You're afraid of people.
You sneak around at night, like a thief.
-It's tradition.
-Slipping into people's chimneys?
It isn't smart, or practical.
Not to mention your safety.
Rain instead of snow!
-I bet you missed me.
-A lot.
I've been thinking about you all year.
That's exactly how I imagined it.
You have to meet my dad.
He's your big fan.
I know. He was waving at me last year.
-You saw that?
-Sure, everyone waves at me.
But I remembered you and your dad.
-Why did you remember me?
Because I have a great memory!
Santa thinks his sleigh is invisible.
-But you saw us.
-Dad showed me.
He sees things other people don't.
He feels magic in his nose and ear.
And in his heart. That's important, too.
He's a clever guy, your dad.
I'm starting to like him.
Sometimes mom
sees things others don't, too.
You're kidding me. Reindeer?
Not this kind of things.
A dirty cup or something.
-Hey, you! Stop!
-Ho, ho, ho!
-My truck!
I'd love to race this guy.
-Catch me!
Hold this. Stop!
Come on! Catch me!
I'm gonna get you!
-Come on!
-I'll get you!
Oh, sweet Lord.
Cold water makes your blood hotter!
Merry Christmas!
People's joy is my joy.
When they love me, my power goes up.
He can't work without his truck.
He shouldn't work on Christmas.
Tell that to my parents.
They work all the time.
I'm sorry.
Dad is calling me.
Good day, Your Royal Highness.
I just got a pigeon.
The garment is ready, Your Grace.
Thanks, dad.
But you're all alone.
I'm not alone. Albert the Elf is here.
Ho, ho, ho! He's my favorite elf.
Say hi to him from me.
I'm sure you two will have fun together.
-You'll tell me all about it later.
What a nice guy.
He barely knows me, but he likes me.
Dad showed me your sleigh in the sky.
-He did?
-He told me you were driving.
I saw you too, but he saw you better.
He feels the magic of Christmas.
-In his ear.
What's happening?
They're having fun.
-Nobody broke a vase on his head?
-It only happens to you, Clausey.
Because I'm the only one
interacting with people.
Is he hiding?
Something smells in here.
No, it doesn't.
Is he keeping a low profile?
He turned a truck into a toy
and shoes into a scooter.
He's out of his mind!
Elves are so boring and predictable.
-But I think you and I can be friends.
If you want to.
I do!
When I waved at you last year,
and then got the figure
-You have one?
I love figures of me, but I had no idea
I love it!
I would trade all my other toys for it.
-I even built a house for it.
-Do you want another one?
That's the supersized version!
What is it? You don't like it?
Oh, boy. Mom's Christmas tree.
-You don't like it?
-It's all right.
All right? Just all right?
I wanted to say it's great.
Super cool.
But this is enough.
-You taught him that.
You keep saying people like gifts.
Don't they?
I get so many letters!
-China alone
-Do you ever write back?
"Hi, how are you doing?
Come by, the wife will bake a pie."
Which wife?
How many wives do you have?
I can't believe it!
You want to invite people here?
Why not?
Do you think a gift is enough?
A smartphone under the tree, done.
That's why Albert is doing the same thing.
I still feel that stench.
-Reindeer. That must be it.
We're friends.
So don't be shy.
If you want to,
I'll fill the whole place with figures.
-Just say the word.
-That's really enough.
-You don't trust me.
-Of course I do.
You're the most brilliant elf
I've ever met.
I don't need a TV
to make dreams come true.
A peanut or a tangerine will do.
-We have tangerines.
Lots of them.
Wait here, I'll bring some.
They'll be much better than the couch.
-Hi, mom.
-How are you, honey?
-You're in a good mood.
I am. I had lots of adventures today.
-Do you feel good?
Mom Do you have any wishes?
-What kind of wishes?
-Any kind.
-Just asking.
If, by any chance, I met an elf,
who could turn the Christmas tree
-What happened to the tree?
-Nothing happened.
Sweetie, I'm begging you,
don't touch the tree or the decorations.
They're very expensive.
What if they fall on you?
Sure, mom. I have to go. Love you!
I just had to get them.
-The drums?
-What did you use?
-A peanut. You should've seen it.
A peanut?
You're a genius.
I am.
Did you know your dad dreamed about drums?
Are you sure?
Absolutely. I checked Santa's records.
The last dream is classified,
Privacy Protection Act.
Are you sure it was my dad, and not some
-You don't trust me!
-I do!
-I'm just worried that my mom
-What about her?
Mom had to milk cows
and walk a long way to school.
Even in winter.
Now she wants dad to grow up.
Your mom is just saying that. Trust me.
-That's a gift for her.
-What would you like to get?
Not one gift?
I just need my Nativity play costume,
but dad and the magic tailor
took care of it.
My industry's worst nightmare.
Magic tailors and online shopping.
-How much is it?
-10 PLN.
That's a king's costume?
-Give it back!
-How about
-A snowflake!
-You take the bloody snowflake!
It's very versatile.
Versatile? Give it back. I saw it first.
-Please, I need it for my boy.
-I need it for mine.
-Let's talk about it.
-I'll pay!
-How much?
-How much do you want?
-I only have a hundred.
Merry Christmas.
All shepherds flock to Bethlehem
To play for the baby a sweet melody
Glory be in high Heaven
And peace down on Earth
Glory be in high Heaven
And peace
Humbly they bowed
-Why aren't you singing?
-This was my first carol.
-Third, you already know two.
But you still have so many to learn.
On Christmas Eve, we sing all evening.
You made me realize that
-It's good to have people you care about.
-Stop it.
Now I feel I want to have
lots of people I care about!
-Lots of friends!
I'll give them gifts, and they'll love me.
Okay, kiddo.
Be well.
And don't forget your friend.
When you think about me, my power rises.
I'll think about you.
Alright, I'm off.
Say hi to the parents from me.
You haven't changed one bit!
I'm sorry, I
Don't be, just smile.
Do you want me to pinch you?
What are you doing in my house?
Selling something?
I just came by. Surprised? What is this?
Let go! I don't know you!
Don't you recognize me?
A year ago, in the mountains.
You looked at me, I looked at you
I'm happily married.
This must be a mistake.
No, you were looking at me,
and then you waved, remember?
-I don't remember waving at
Don't wear rubber band beards.
They slide down.
This is a private property.
Chill out, man.
Chill out. It's Christmas tomorrow.
Joy, magic. Look how pretty it is!
Get lost or I'll call security.
You're such a joker. Marry Christmas!
Dad! I met Albert the Elf!
-Who was that guy?
-Albert the Elf.
You let a stranger into the house?
I told you so many times
You said that if a dwarf
or a reindeer comes by
That was not a reindeer.
Or a dwarf. He was a stranger.
Some cheap mall copycat.
He could've been a thief, or worse.
He was an elf, I told you.
-Told me what?
-That I was with Albert.
You told me to say hi to him.
He magically made drums, just for you.
-What is this?
-I told you.
-I met an elf and he magically made
Simple question, simple answer.
what are these drums doing here?
You said you wanted drums.
When did I say that?
I don't know when,
but Santa has it all written down.
What about this clown?
It's the one from the box.
Make sure you show off
the gold earrings I bought you.
Excuse me. We're taking a picture.
Let's do it. Nice print, Halinka.
-You know this guy?
-How does he know you?
-No idea.
-How do you know my wife?
-Mr. Claus and I came to your house.
You promised not to see Klaus again!
I didn't! He only came over once.
He'll be back tomorrow.
You yokel!
What are you doing?
It's out!
-I'm gonna get you!
-Calm down!
How can you not know Albert?
You waved at him last year!
-Yes, you!
You showed me Santa's sleigh in the sky
and said
We're both upset. We shouldn't be.
Let's calm down.
Tell me, from the beginning, no lies.
How do you know this guy?
We saw him in the sky.
You saw him.
Today he fell from the sky
and walked in front of a truck,
which he, luckily,
turned into a small toy.
But the driver was furious anyway. And
Where is the tree?
-I haven't seen you in ages.
-Call me.
I don't have your number.
Ho, ho, hello. Can I have your number?
-What for?
-We could be in touch.
Feel some Christmas magic together.
Where I come from,
we do it the old fashioned way, but
What did I say?
We have no other expenses,
so you decided to buy drums.
For the tenth time. I didn't buy them.
-A guy came by
-Albert the Elf!
It looks like he took the tree
and left the drums.
Albert the Elf?
I know you dreamt about drums.
You really did?
-No, I didn't.
-Stop lying.
-Two years ago
-I said I would play it when I retire!
All right.
So now you're retiring?
Listen, I can take anything
if you stop lying and tell me the truth.
-How much was it?
-I don't know.
-You had to sell the tree?
-I didn't sell it, I swear!
The elf made it.
He turned the tree into the statue
and a peanut into the drums.
-Because elves
-Because your dad said so.
-I didn't.
-You did!
You said elves need something
to turn it into something else!
I don't know what happened.
-On my way in, I passed a shady guy who
-Was carrying the tree?
-He wasn't!
-But he took it?
I know. He put it in his pocket.
One of those bottomless ones!
Dad told me that in Santa's land
I'm tired of dad's stories.
-Mom's right.
-Don't be a suck-up.
Start telling the truth.
And take off the beard.
Come all ye shepherds To the miracle shed
The son of God
Poor guy.
was born to save us all
Sing, Angels
What's wrong?
Christmas is coming!
Albert the Elf came to you
from the North Pole!
What is it? I brought gifts!
Don't you like gifts?
-Stop staring.
Do you want a talking doll? How about
an electric scooter? Scooter, anyone?
Tickets, please.
I can't explain it any simpler.
I have a chin, like every other person.
-The problem is
-A beard got stuck to it
Hair. What don't you get?
Okay, simple question.
Do you think I can use a solvent
to get that beard off my chin?
But it's
What do you mean, brush it? Come on
-This is a real beard.
-It just grew.
-Think for a second.
How could it just grow?
It takes time.
Plus it's gray, and my hair is not.
-And how does Tooth Fairy
-Tooth Fairy isn't real.
You're old enough to know that.
-But Santa and the elves are?
-Unfortunately they're not.
-So why did you see Santa's sleigh?
-I didn't.
-You said
-I lied.
This is too much. I need your help.
Come here.
I'll close my eyes, count to three,
and then you'll pull the beard
as hard as you can.
-But if an elf
-There is no time for a discussion.
On three. One
Two, three!
Don't break my head off!
Why are you lying? You saw the sleigh.
-I'm in here.
-What happened?
-Did you buy pasta?
-It's in the bag.
No, it isn't. It's all chocolate.
A bag of elf-shaped chocolates.
Should I be worried about you?
Maybe they switched my bag?
-How many fingers do you see?
That's a question.
Dawid's costume got switched too?
What's wrong with the costume?
All right.
Why would she lock the fridge?
To stop me from eating Christmas food.
And then she'll tell me,
"Eat, or it will all go to waste.
I've worked so hard."
Every year.
If you don't starve to death first,
you get sick from overeating.
Why don't you spend Christmas
the way you want?
They way I want? Is that a joke?
You know what I would really like?
I don't. Only Santa has access to dreams.
Okay. If Santa was real,
I wouldn't be sitting here.
I would be on a boat.
On a tiny, one-person boat.
With no family at all.
Fishing in complete silence.
Drinking bear. Absolute peace and quiet.
That's your dream?
It is.
Excuse me. Have you seen
-Where are you?
-Stuck in the bathroom again?
-Worse! Much worse.
-You were supposed to wait for me.
-I'm on my way.
-Any luck?
-Can you help me?
All right. Nice boat.
-I'll swap it for your jacket.
-Are you crazy?
-The boat for the jacket.
-All right.
-Are you sure?
Where did he go?
How much?
Forty and dropping.
He's crazy.
Don't do this, Albert. It's not a good
He is trying to give some guys a car.
-At least it's not an iron.
-What do you mean?
-You wanted an iron.
-I mentioned it once, 134 years ago.
I got one every year since.
You could've said something.
Did you think I needed 134 irons?
Where would I keep them?
Do we have to talk about it now?
-I don't want it!
-Is that a scam?
You wanted money for a ticket back home.
A car will be faster.
Punch him, Bogu.
Wait. He may be a pig. Look at his ears.
I'm not a pig, I'm an elf.
-Where did you get it?
-It was all magic.
Why didn't you magically get the money?
I can't make money.
Are you nuts?
-Maybe we can take it for a spin?
-Hey, you!
-Where did he go?
-I told you to punch him.
What are we going to do with it now?
We'll give it away.
To the church.
Oh boy.
That's the grandparents house all right.
I want to apologize.
I got upset. I shouldn't have.
I promise I won't do it again.
Just tell me the truth.
Who was he?
You're a big boy now,
and there is something you should know.
There is no Santa Claus.
There are no elves.
So we won't have Christmas this year?
Of course we will!
What's the point?
Without Santa and the elves?
You'll get a gift. Don't worry.
Christmas is not about gifts.
You told me that yourself.
There is one more thing.
You won't like it.
I don't know how,
but I made a mistake
and bought you a rabbit costume.
The magic tailor doesn't make mistakes.
There is no magic tailor, Dawid.
I bought that costume.
The magic tailor
made me beautiful costumes every year.
He didn't.
Mom and I made all the costumes.
But this year we didn't have the time.
Don't stay up too late.
I can smell the reindeer everywhere.
What are you doing?
Fixing the pipes.
Fixing the pipes? Now?
Albert is gone,
and you're playing with pipes?
You should go there.
-To the people.
Can't you see I'm busy?
If I don't fix the pipes,
we'll all freeze to death.
When elves lose their power,
they turn into toys,
get smaller and smaller,
and then disappear.
I can't do two things at a time.
What now?
Fix it, right now!
-I hate these magical tricks.
-We're leaving in the morning.
How did you know?
Know what? What did I do now?
I love it. A real poker face.
What is it?
-My handwriting.
-You don't say.
-How do I open it?
-No idea.
Now what?
-Is the map inside?
-What map?
My dad always gave me a map.
Then I had to find the treasure.
-What treasure?
-A pirate treasure!
Don't pretend
you don't know what's inside.
I love you, but
The map is in there!
How do I open it?
Say it again.
-What you just said.
-Say it!
-I said, "I love you, but"
Piotrek, you're the greatest,
the most wonderful,
the most magical guy I've ever met.
I love you too.
I was thinking
We should go back to coal.
It might seem controversial
in today's climate,
but it worked just fine for ages.
-Stop it, you won't give coal to anyone.
-I sure will!
People give each other
the craziest things.
They deserve a ton of coal.
And you saw how they treated Albert.
Albert is the most self-important elf
I've ever met.
He only thinks about himself.
He's trying. Gives everyone gifts.
To make them like him.
He won't get power out of that.
You're the power expert now?
Actually, I am.
To have the power, you have to love, too.
Love who? People?
You know how they are. They start wars.
Destroy nature.
Break vases on Santa's heads.
Go to sleep.
When I think about it, I get so angry
We have a long day ahead. Go to sleep.
I was stupid. I'm sorry.
So stuck-up.
We forgot about dreams and craziness
and we got so, you know
So boring. So ordinary.
I'm glad you bought the drums.
The pine tree, the spruce, the fence.
You drew everything.
What's the treasure?
I don't know.
Listen, let's visit our parents tomorrow.
Wish them Merry Christmas.
I have a presentation tomorrow.
And you have a meeting.
That sucks.
Who will take Dawid to the Nativity play?
Why did we move to Warsaw?
You wanted to.
You said there's work here.
There was work back there, too.
Not enough to pay the mortgage.
Why did we need the mortgage?
To move to Warsaw.
That was dumb, right?
You wanted to be close to the opera.
-What happened?
-Is the beard growing back?
-It's not.
You looked good with it, though.
I did?
You look great.
You just need a crown and a scepter.
-Maybe we should lose the ears.
-No, there's no need.
If you don't want to go,
you don't have to. I'll write you a note.
-But I do want to go.
-He wants to go.
There's always next year.
But I have a costume
from the magic tailor.
The tailor who dressed
King Matt the First.
And you look
You look great.
You're unique and one of a kind.
Mommy loves you so much.
I'll keep my fingers crossed.
-Thank daddy for the costume.
-Thanks, dad.
No problem. Can you wait in the car?
Go. I'll be right there.
Keep your head up.
I'll take this.
Kids will be laughing at him.
Have a little imagination.
-Kids can be cruel.
-Piotrek, we were having fun.
And you're acting like a buzzkill again.
Maybe the magic tailor did make it?
Son of Santa and Tooth Fairy
Bye, dad.
Maybe you want to go to work with me?
I'll make you a hot chocolate
with lots of whipped cream.
Thanks, but I'll stay.
The magic tailor knew what he was doing.
I bought the costume.
There is no magic tailor.
Or elves.
Or magic.
I don't know why you're saying that,
but I love you anyway.
I love you too.
-Good luck.
Hey, new boy! Wrong holiday!
Cool ears. I want a pair, too.
Why not a cow's costume?
It would be perfect for a moo-ron.
He doesn't need a costume for that.
Break it up, kids. That's enough.
The play is about to begin. Are you ready?
That's your costume?
We come to your homes
Bringing you joy
And a Christmas carol
We have to spread the good news
all around the world.
-Don't worry, we can do it.
The three king are coming.
Look, here they are!
Welcome, great kings!
What big ears you have, Your Highness!
The better to hear me with.
And the tail to
The magic tailor made me this costume.
Where is he?
I told him the presentation
starts at noon!
-Didn't I?
-You did.
-His car is here.
-The car won't do the presentation.
-Maybe he had to go
-Go where? The client is waiting!
Go to the bathroom.
He's out. Finished!
Mr. Kosmala!
I'm so sorry, boss.
Some guy
put something on my face yesterday and
Some hair growth thing, I think.
And it's strong. I can't even
I mean, I can, but then it's back again
I know how this sounds. I'll resign.
That guy
What guy?
-That guy.
Does he have something for the head?
-You mean, the mind?
-I mean the hair.
-Let me think.
-All right.
Finish shaving.
We'll talk after the meeting.
Thanks for your help.
No problem. Anything for friends.
I thought you won't come back.
So many people love and need you.
I don't know about that.
It's different in my world.
I was the Elf of the Year
five time in a row.
Can they manage without you?
I doubt it.
Do you really like me?
Sure, a lot. Just like everyone else.
Like everyone else.
Is there anything can I get you
to make you like me more?
I don't think so.
This won't get us anywhere.
There has to be something.
I just want to hang out with you.
That's enough.
You're weird.
Mom says I'm not weird, just unique.
It's taking ages.
You're not going to a ball, Clausey.
Check out that Dawid for me.
I am.
Dawid Kosmala Kosmala, Dawid
-Found him!
He wrote that he wants
his neighbor's dog to die.
That's people for you.
Wait, that's not him.
Kosmala, Dawid. Three packs of cigars.
Cigars? He's 11 years old!
Wait, that was David Kosmala, 64,
New Jersey.
What are you wearing?
Why? It's a costume.
I can't go as Santa.
-Why not?
-I'm not getting hit with a vase again.
Let me see.
-What did he write there?
We're ready, boss.
Ho, ho, ho!
-Do you like it?
-I love it.
Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas!
He's at 16%.
-Damn. Let's go.
-Don't say "damn."
-You're Mrs. Claus.
-I thought I was Mrs. Plumber.
-You're a plumber, too?
-The best there is.
-He's always wanted to be one.
It's a hobby.
Ever since pipes were invented.
Let's go.
Do you have a fever?
No, I'm all right.
You're not feeling well?
I'm losing my Christmas power.
Because I believed
we can spend real Christmas together.
-You told me you liked me.
-I do like you.
If my power drops,
I'll turn into a toy and disappear.
I'll figure something out.
Maybe my dad can help us?
That's a good thought.
-Your dad liked the drums, right?
-Yes. Loved them
You said he feels the magic of Christmas,
but he seemed pretty grim to me.
Dad often doesn't seem like it,
but he knows how to be happy.
Great! I feel better already.
Your dad's our hope.
Boss, should we land in the center?
Are you crazy? They'll recognize us.
-Where do we land, then?
-We'll jump into a chimney.
I'm not getting into a chimney, no way!
-Chimneys are the safest way, trust me.
-I'm begging you
Where is he?
-He must've jumped out.
-I know he did!
A plumber in a chimney. What a world.
He'll drive me crazy.
Santa rental. How can I help you?
Tomorrow? Forget it.
Call back after the Epiphany.
Stop yelling! Where are your manners?
How can I get you a Santa on Christmas?
We're understaffed.
Where did you come from?
-I know who you are.
Dressed as a plumber
It's Christmas Eve, not Dyngus Day. Name?
-Claus? Where's the rest of your outfit?
Tragic. Who hired you?
You're not Santa material.
-Ho, ho
-Don't ho-ho me.
To the warehouse, now.
Put on a Herod costume.
-Herod was much shorter
-Excuse me.
Sorry, that's my husband. He's a plumber.
-Did you call a plumber?
We'll be on our way, then.
What about the beard?
All decent plumbers have beards.
Let's go, darling.
If you dressed as a Santa,
people wouldn't be staring.
That's a company beard! Bring it back now!
What are you looking at? Back to work!
He stole our tree,
and now you want to have him over?
-Not so fast.
-That beard almost cost me my job!
-I turned the tree.
Turned how?
Into drums.
Albert is innocent.
And he's not really an elf.
-Stop lying!
-Let him speak.
How did you do it?
I found a spell online and
It worked.
But I will never do it again. I promise!
Dawid, there are no elves.
There is no magic.
Stop it. Guys.
Tell us who your friend is.
He has nowhere to go on Christmas Eve.
He is poor, homeless.
That's why he took the tree?
He didn't take it.
I threw the Christmas tree out.
And stole the drum set.
-What do you mean, you stole it?
-I did.
I went off the rails
and stole it from a music shop.
Right. That friend talked you into it?
He's innocent, he knew nothing about it.
I put hair grower on dad's chin.
-Are you waiting for anyone?
Listen. Is your friend an elf?
What are you talking about?
-You can tell me.
-He's just a boy, an orphan.
His house burned down,
he lost his keys,
they cut off the power.
He is like the lost wanderer,
the one we always leave
an empty chair for at the table.
-Good morning. Look.
This is what Dawid did to my son.
He pulled his ears.
-He pushed me.
-Pushing wouldn't make your ears long.
He had to pull. I won't leave it at that.
Bruises and scratches I get.
We were all boys once.
But pulling the ears?
-Do you like it?
-You have to run.
What? Did you tell them
that I'm an elf and I come from
I blew it, alright?
Can you help me?
You need a second drum set?
No, dad went to get the cops,
and mom can come in any minute.
It's not high, you can do it.
I have nowhere to go.
You're my only friend.
-Everyone loves you.
-No one loves me. People are awful.
-Go back to the North Pole.
-I can't. I lost my power.
You're the best elf!
I was the best elf. Ouch.
I took the liberty
of drawing a preliminary sketch.
But the mustache was more horizontal.
And the beard wasn't so pointy,
it was more of an U.
All right. Back to the ears.
You should see a
-What's an ear doctor called?
-No idea.
A laryngologist.
A laryngologist.
First of all, this man here,
that is, his son,
pulled my son's ears
It wasn't my son. It was some strange guy
whom I already mentioned
in connection to the drums.
All right. I suggest you have him examined
by a court-approved expert laryngologist.
As to the beard
As to the beard,
I suggest you see a
What's the beard guy called?
I know this one. A dermatologist.
Or, better yet, a barber.
But if I were you,
I would wait till the beard grows back.
There's nothing there now.
That's because I shaved it off.
But it will grow back. It always does.
Not slowly, but all at once.
It's huge. This big.
We have to get to my grandparents' house.
It won't matter. I lost my power.
Stop whining.
You'll see a real Christmas Eve,
feel the magic of Christmas,
and your power will be back.
I wish I could create a chopper for us.
Or a jet
with vertical takeoff and landing.
-So do it.
-I can't.
We have to do it the human way.
-Let's go.
Come on.
We'll hitchhike.
"Dear parents,
I have to save Albert the Elf.
I'm off to find a real Christmas Eve.
It's my fault. I told him all that crap.
You didn't listen to him.
He's a smart, reasonable boy.
-If he said
-Elves aren't real.
I'm just saying
we should've trusted him more.
You didn't even listen.
To what? Some story about Santa?
He believed your Santa stories.
Not again!
-I believe him.
-Very funny.
Ho, ho, ho.
I'm a plumber.
Sorry to bother you.
We're looking for an elf.
I mean
Our son says he is an elf,
but he's a plumber, too.
He came to Warsaw two days ago,
and as far as we know
That's a very nice beard. Just like a
A plumber's.
Snow maidens loved me. Little elves, too.
I was the Elf of the Year
five times in a row.
Five times! Were you?
Albert, don't be a bother.
I'm sorry about him.
Do you even believe in elves?
Of course.
I did so many good things.
So many good deeds!
-There! Stop the truck!
-What is it?
I helped this guy!
Changed his life! Stefan!
-We have to go!
Stefan! Remember me?
-Stefan, wait!
-Stefan, wait!
-Lord, what was I thinking
Don't be scared!
Hey! Stop! Wait for us!
-We'll get another ride.
Yeah, right.
Why did you have to wave at me?
If you didn't
It's all your fault, you know?
Albert is their son.
He probably escaped with Dawid.
-These are for you.
-Thank you.
We're very worried, too.
Calm down, Clausey darling.
My husband
had a traumatic experience with
I think I know where they went.
-To Dawid's grandparents'.
Let's think logically.
He wrote they want to experience
a real Christmas.
And he spent all his great Christmases
at my parents' house.
-Is it far?
-In the mountains.
He sang carols,
shared his wafer with the animals.
Last year he and my husband
saw Santa's sleigh.
-We didn't see it.
-That's not the point.
-I didn't see it.
-He didn't either.
-Doesn't matter. How do we get there?
We should take the
I don't know what.
The car. We can take you.
The car, exactly. Ho, ho, ho.
It's not far.
I can't do it.
Keep trying. People don't give up.
I'm not a person. And I'm freezing.
Look at my clothes!
Did the magic tailor make them?
Yes, the same one your dad goes to.
Tooth Fairy's cousin.
We'll have our own Christmas Eve.
Wait here.
I'll be back soon.
Is Albert an elf?
Your husband
doesn't look like a plumber, either.
That really is his hobby.
But career-wise,
-he works at a
-Christmas delivery service.
You could say that.
It has to be a hard job.
He only works once a year.
You can't imagine what it's like
having him at home all the time.
Thank God for plumbing.
Are you Santa Claus?
Me? Oh, right.
-No, why would you say that?
-It's your beard.
This guy has a beard, too.
But he's a plumber.
-Aniela, stop bothering people.
-It's fine.
-Thank you, Merry Christmas.
-Merry Christmas.
Pump five.
Mr. Santa!
I love you.
Thank you.
That's all.
Do you often come down to
It's the first time since 86.
86 BC.
My husband comes here more often.
But he's a bit scared,
-Thus the chimneys and invisible sleigh.
-The sensitive type.
I thought he loved all the people,
especially small kids.
He does love everyone. That's the tragedy.
If he didn't,
the magic of Christmas would disappear.
It comes from his great love.
My question is, is there a special cream
that makes the hair grow so fast?
There is one thing you could use.
-The sparrow balm. Sparrow, the bird
-Yes, I know.
So you mean the poop?
Definitely, that's right.
My boss is bald. He asked me to find out.
It's not magic.
-I wasn't thinking that.
-You weren't?
That's my wife's specialty.
Just between us.
She started believing in Santa.
Can you help me?
How? I lost all my power.
I'm not talking about tricks.
You can't use magic forever.
That would be too easy.
I'm cold.
You'll warm up soon.
Albert, focus.
Imagine that
Maybe not.
-Stand in front of me.
We'll share a Christmas wafer.
-That's a candy bar.
-No, it's not. It's a wafer.
I wish you
Health. Lots of money.
Lots of love.
May all your dreams come true.
Great Christmas Eve.
So many people came.
That's aunt Aurelia over there.
I saw uncle Kornel in the hall.
Old Mrs. Popielak is behind the tree.
They're dead, but they're always with us
on Christmas Eve.
You really do like me.
Eat up.
The carp is coming next.
Then poppy seed grains.
Poppy seed with cookies.
And then we'll sing Christmas carols.
I taught you.
Oh, you little one, little one
Tiny like a glove
Or as little, as little
Like a piece of bow
Sing your song and play for him
Little one, little one
Sing your song and play for him
Little one
Little one
Honey! My truck is back!
My darling.
Honey, I'm so sorry.
The things I've been through!
I'm sorry I'm a wreck.
Excuse me! How can I get out of here?
-Can you help me, please?
-The beard.
I know.
I'm sorry.
Are you okay?
Hang on.
It's over that hill.
We'll have a real Christmas Eve.
Not a candy bar.
Just hang on.
-Dawid? What are you doing here?
Piotrek, Dawid is here! Dawid!
-Why are you here?
-He's alone.
I know.
Where's the tree? The mistletoe?
Pierogi? Hay under the tablecloth?
Sweetie, where were you?
I was worried sick.
What were you thinking?
-Stop yelling!
-We drove all the way here!
-Come back!
-It's Christmas Eve!
-Do you have mistletoe?
-Dawid, darling!
Pierogi? Hay under the tablecloth?
A tree? Mistletoe?
-Where is Albert, honey?
We don't have a Christmas Eve ready.
Merry Christmas.
You're so tiny.
You'll be okay.
How could Albert disappear?
People don't just disappear.
Let's call the police.
You already talked to them.
-You want to do nothing?
-Calm down, will you?
Albert I'm sure we'll find him.
I didn't prepare Christmas dinner.
We were going to be alone.
Just two old people.
It would be a waste of a good tree.
Mom, come on.
Thank you. We have to get going.
-Back to work.
-It's Christmas Eve.
Some people work on Christmas, right?
Why aren't you doing anything?
Dad, get some mistletoe.
Grandma, make some pierogi!
-It's Christmas Eve!
-Do something!
-Don't go out again!
-Piotrek, wait.
You need to trust him.
Mrs. Claus, Mr. Santa Claus.
-You can't leave Albert like this.
-He's gone.
-Who's gone?
-The elf.
Can't you see that's Santa Claus?
What are you talking about?
He's a plumber.
He's just named Claus.
I'm sorry, I forgot your name.
Mrs. Claus.
Mrs. Claus is the plumber's wife.
Heavy tree.
I don't want to leave.
I don't want you to leave either. But
Other kids want to get gifts, too.
It's not all about the gifts.
Will you wave at me?
Well, well, well
Stop it, Clausey.
Where have you been?
I see Albert was just lost.
-I knew we would find him.
-He's so beautiful!
-Look, I can make those ears, too.
-All right.
I wanted to thank you all so much.
So listen, here's the thing
I don't know. Maybe it's not a good idea
-Just say it, Clausey.
-But I'm just
I never thought I'd say this,
-but my wife makes great cheesecake.
I know what I'm saying.
So maybe one day you'd like to
Visit us.
Maybe after Christmas.
We'd love to have you.
My husband will send a sleigh for you.
A sleigh!
Where do you live?
Not far!
-In Bukowina?
What does it matter?
I was just concerned.
-Have you written a letter to Santa?
-In November.
I will personally deliver your gift.
-How did you get your power back?
-Thanks to you.
I mean, thanks to me,
but really thanks to you.
-In fact
-Albert, we have to go.
It's time.
-Merry Christmas.
-Merry Christmas!
Thank you. Merry Christmas!
One day I'll tell you all about it.
I have to go. Bye!
-Ho, ho, ho!
Come on, we have to prepare Christmas Eve!
We're coming.
Aren't they staying for dinner?
No, they had to go.
I'll give them a ride.
Don't! Fresh air will do them good.
I don't want them to get lost again.
Be careful!
Excuse me!
They're not there.
Of course they're not.
-Let's go.
-All right.
Don't stay out too long.
-Christmas Eve!
-Let's do it!
Can I have one last look?
No, you've done enough.
-But it's about Hania's gift.
Go ahead.
-Can we go now?
-One minute.
It's about Dawid's gift.
He's done so much for me,
and I didn't give him a thing.
Yes, you did. Let's go.
I didn't.
I kept asking,
but he said he's got everything.
He got his gift early.
-What gift?
-He wrote Can I tell him?
His letter to Santa said
that his dream is to meet an elf.
Well? See?
Let's go.
Very funny.
Very funny.
Okay, 46 steps ahead.
One, two, three, four
Maybe we shouldn't do this.
We left grandpa and grandma alone.
-How many steps?
Okay, 22, 23, 24
This is amazing.
-26, 27, 28
I wish the gift was there.
But I know it's not.
-I forgot to take it.
-Oh my, did you really?
Dad is a little liar.
-He is playing a joke on us.
Okay, where were we? 30, 31, 32, 33
34, 35. Three little spruces.
Here they are.
Turn around and jump.
This has to be it.
I checked, there's nothing here.
There it is!
For my dearest Hania.
That's your handwriting.
It's a handwriting
Looks a bit like mine It's mine.
But how?
-A cherry stoner.
You're the greatest. I love you so much.
And Santa, too.
You're the best!
The greatest,
most magical dad in the world!
A cherry stoner!
Where are you, you damned birds?
Jerzy? What are you doing?
-Feeding sparrows.
-Have you lost your mind?
-They'll poop everywhere.
-Let them.
It's Christmas Eve. A time of sharing.
-I love you.
-I love you too.
You have to have someone you love.
That's what Christmas is all about.
The end, finito.
No gifts can replace that.
How did you get your power back?
Did Dawid help you?
It was all me.
-That's impossible.
-That's the only way.
I thought someone else can help me.
Gave away tons of gifts. Nothing.
Dawid loved me, but the power
I had to start loving him.
Nobody else can do that for you.
How did you do it?
No idea. I just felt it.
I had this tiny thought in my head.
I was tiny myself at that point.
Almost invisible.
Then I had this last thought.
That I'll never see Dawid again.
Or you.
Or Mrs. Claus.
I don't know how I did it.
But I love you all.
-I love you, Erwin.
-I love you too.
Dawid, darling.
You wrote to Santa
asking him to send the elf?
I did. I thought he could do his magic
and bring us all together.
Because this Christmas Eve
Warsaw was not so bad.
Dad was trying really hard.
-And mom, too.
-That's right.
But if we're not all together,
it's not a Christmas Eve.
Not really.
And I have a friend now.
An elf friend.
Albert the Elf!
Home is the best place to be.
And home is where your close ones are.
Let's sing.
Let us all start caroling
It's high time for that
Two Christmas cakes
Are slowly rising
Getting tastier and tastier
Two delicious cakes
We could eat poppy seeds
Out of the mixing bowl all night
Eat poppy seeds
Under the tree
With their heads down
Both clean and dusted
A donkey and an ox
The cat squints its eyes
The table is set
It's all white
The mistletoe, mistletoe
Is laughing over the table
We should kiss under it
Sweet Lord, the tablecloth is stained
It's time to wash it
Till the caroling dies down
Christmas came and went
Came and went
Subtitle translation by: Agata Rudowska