Dead Ant (2017) Movie Script

My people have used this
peyote for generations
to open the mind and to
explore a greater freedom.
We have cultivated this
medicine and this land.
Now all I have is
this reservation.
Is that the moon?
This is the sun.
It's for your people.
This is big medicine.
But there's grave
consequences if you abuse it.
Set my mind free, medicine man.
Take this, and you will explore
every crevice of your mind.
You will know yourself
more than you ever have.
You may realize your
greatest desires,
but you may also face
your fiercest enemy.
There are risks.
There's always risks.
You must respect this,
and you must care for it.
I will.
I promise.
Promises are always
broken by your people.
My words are pure.
I speak the truth.
That'll be $20.
This isn't going to end well.
Hey, would you stop it?
You're going to break it.
Would you just stop fidgeting
and fucking with everything?
Got my lighter?
Just tell me one thing.
What is your philosophy,
again, against putting a air
conditioner in this car?
It's original, man.
It would be like me painting
your Gibson sunburst
fucking metallic blue.
It's criminal.
Metallic blue.
I could rock that.
There's nothing
criminal about being cool.
You know shit about
being cool, man.
guitars on the boulevard.
You're my girl on the street.
You make me feel so high
underneath the sheets.
I wanted to get away, but
now you make me want to stay.
Why'd you do that?
Dude, I'm just singing
what I feel, bro.
Come on.
Taught him that.
Sing what you feel, baby.
Love, this is not a
band-whispering moment, okay?
This is members only.
Like Danny's jacket?
Yeah, I can smell it.
Dude, rock and
roll died when bands
stopped wearing the makeup.
You said it yourself.
Okay, sure.
Yeah, whatever.
We need to be current.
We can't go back.
Yeah, but current doesn't
mean changing who you are.
I miss the makeup.
Was that the guy?
No, man.
This guy doesn't eat jerky.
He's a vegetarian.
We're looking for a fruit stand.
A vegetarian Indian.
They got those?
Yeah, they fucking got those.
An Indian that doesn't eat meat?
You got to stop
saying Indian, man.
It's not cool.
No, you got to say, like,
Native American now.
Native American.
Come on.
It's what they're doing.
So wait, if I'm a kid now and
I want to go out and play,
I've got to play cowboys
and Native Americans?
They don't care
about Western crap.
They're into robots
and space shit.
Maybe a white guy
should be offended
when they call him a cowboy.
What do you want
them to be called?
I don't know, maybe a tan-skin
guy with a wide-brimmed hat.
Look, there goes an Indi...
Native American and a tan
guy with a wide-brimmed hat.
That's what you want
them to be called.
What we need is a hard-rocking
hit, man, hard-working song
that's going to
define music today.
Back me up, Danny.
Metal is dead.
It's not coming back.
Get over it.
Dude, we changed our name.
We've changed our look.
We've changed our
approach to the music.
Where's the integrity, man?
There's no truth in it.
We need to go back to our roots.
You know?
Look, think about it.
"Don't Close Your
Eyes" was a bad-ass...
Don't even say the
word "power ballad"!
Nobody respects a power
ballad, all right?
AC/DC, they never
had one power ballad.
That is true.
They do not have one.
What is this whole
trip about, huh?
This whole trip is a
search to find ourselves,
to find who we are, to
bring it back together.
Look at all these new bands now.
They don't have pyrotechnics.
They don't have sparks
flying on the stage.
They don't have blood
covering the audience
from some animal who's
getting its head ripped off.
It's all tame.
We need to go to Coachella
and fucking rock.
And I agree 100%!
By the way, it's
called Nochella.
No, it's Coachella.
Yeah, it's Coachella.
No, I couldn't get
us into Coachella.
But I got us in Nochella,
which is way more hip.
Coachella's like the
Sundance Film Festival.
Nobody goes to that anymore.
They go to Slamdance.
Where the new emerging
acts are, making deals,
that's where I want my band.
And that's where
you're going to be,
as long as you keep
it to three songs.
And I know you're
going to hate this,
but I promised we'd open up
with "Don't Close Your Eyes."
Come on, man!
I just said we're not
playing that song anymore!
I just said that!
Fuck, Danny!
Come on!
That's bullshit, man!
No more power ballads!
We're going in a new direction!
That's what I just said!
I just fucking said that, Danny!
We are going to kill it!
There goes the alignment.
This road blows.
There's a meteor shower.
No, I'm not kidding...
Like asteroids.
You know what I mean?
Or space junk.
Will you see if... Look at that.
Fucking crazy.
I'm telling you, man, that
could be like space junk.
That could be like the
space station fell down.
You know what?
You just need to stop talking.
We're having no fun.
No, I don't care what
Merrick's Facebook page says.
He's... you know
what's wrong with him.
Okay, don't believe what you...
Don't read his Facebook.
All right.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
Where are we going, guys?
Picking up supplies.
We aren't even on the 10.
Yeah, you want us
to be a band, right?
Come together, write
some good songs?
Can we consider this
a job for a moment?
Does everything have to
be a fun factory with you?
You know what would be great?
How about a little more focus,
little more disciplined?
Well, I took some
focusyn earlier.
Maybe Stevie can find
you a chill pill.
Guess what... I've already had
10 freaking chill pills since we
left LA, and this is what I got.
Organic, huh?
Supposed to be the
best stuff, period.
Let me do the talking.
We're here to do some shopping.
We want to buy the moon.
Moon's no longer for sale.
But I can sell you the sun.
Sun sounds good.
Come on back.
Don't step on them.
I know karate.
Man, you don't know
shit about karate.
I took karate.
You took one fucking class.
I know enough.
Okay, here we are, big fruit.
I can break a board.
You fucking got a splinter, man.
Yeah, but the board broke.
We get some organic
drugs apparently...
First organic thing Art's had
in his body for a long time.
Hope he doesn't explode.
Wow, this place is amazing.
Look at all this fresh fruit.
Yeah, it's great.
Thanks for sharing,
Love, as always.
Aw, yeah.
Thanks, babe.
It's always so nice
of you to share.
Oh my god.
Oh, yeah.
Oh my gosh.
This one?
Hey, that doesn't look organic.
Sure hope not.
I'm Pager.
You hitting the festival?
You going?
I'm playing it.
What's the name of your band?
Sonic Grave.
Didn't you guys change
your name to Timewarp?
Well, yeah, but we changed
it back to Sonic Grave.
You know it?
My mom used to play "Don't
Close Your Eyes" all the time.
She got preggers to that song
when you took her backstage
at a concert in Philly.
It's nice to finally
meet you, Daddy.
No, man.
I was totally fucking
with you, man.
No, but power ballads,
they don't get
the street cred they used to.
"Don't Close Your Eyes"
is some serious shit.
You goddamn right
it's serious shit.
And Pager here is going to rip
a solo at that festival that'll
make your panties roll down your
legs, walk across the floor,
and fold in the corner.
Danny Bloom.
Nice to meet you, ladies.
I'm not creepy.
I proved it in
court, And besides,
who needs to be within
600 of a grade school.
Am I right?
I actually mentor
troubled trouble.
Just... just stop.
We got to get some drugs.
Go lie down over there.
He's cool.
See you later.
Shut the door.
Is this where you keep the sun?
How much money you got?
I got $80.
That's how much
the moon is, right?
It's $200 for the sun.
Well, I don't have that much.
What about your friend?
I don't carry a lot of
cash, just a card, bro.
No problem.
It's a $10 transaction fee.
You must be careful
with the sun.
It has big medicine.
This is the most powerful
peyote you and your friend
will ever take.
It's a goddamn gift.
Technically, I just paid for it.
You take this just
before the sun goes down
at the sacred Red Rocks.
But if you hurt or destroy
anything on our sacred land
while under this peyote...
And I mean anything...
You as much as hurt
one fly, ramifications
will be irreversible.
You'll be cursing
till the next sundown.
You respect it, like a
baby in your mama's womb.
You understand?
Yeah, man.
We got you, chief.
Thank you.
Come on.
No tip.
Man, what was that?
That was weird, right?
No, you called him chief.
It was weird way before that.
Or orga...
It's orgasmic.
That's what I thought.
Yeah, we're getting
the good stuff,
like the really good stuff,
if you want to join us.
We're way ahead of you.
We got the sun.
Oh, that's cool.
You're going to meet
us by the rocks later?
Yeah, we'll meet you.
Yeah, we'll be there.
We're going to be there.
We'll be there.
We were already going there.
He's older than your dad.
Oh, Lisa.
40-something and still
pulling 20-nothing, baby.
Yeah, that's a
two-man job, brother.
We need another hit.
Yeah, we do before it
gets sad, pathetic.
What, did you get it?
Did you get the sun?
That's the good shit.
That's what they got.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
All right.
Roll out.
Come on.
So you think we
have a lazy time.
Well, you should know better.
And I don't know why.
I just don't know why.
And you say I got a dirty mind.
Well, I'm a big go-getter.
How much of this thing
are we supposed to take?
I thought you've done it before.
Oh, I'm from the shire, but
I've never danced with the sun
What are you fucking doing?
Man, you're supposed to wait!
For what?
Sundown at the sacred site, man.
He talked all about it.
Were you not listening?
I was listening.
It's pretty dark.
I mean, I got my sunglasses on.
It's all right.
I can handle it.
It'll be good.
Everyone will get there.
And I'll have another round.
It'll be good.
We're supposed to do it
as a band, all together.
I got it.
We're together.
I just got there first.
I'm sorry.
Let's get out of here.
I'm going to...
Ah, it's all right.
Come here.
You want some, together?
Cum on feel the noize.
Girls, grab your boys.
We get wild, wild, wild.
Hey, you feeling anything?
I'm good.
It's so spiritual here.
Respect nature and
it will respect you.
Oh, man, that's beautiful.
You're beautiful.
It's a little tree
hugger for me.
Give it a chance.
It's a special place.
I want to rock!
Art, man, you cool?
Yeah, he's cool.
Right here.
Art, man, you're tripping.
You've got a extra
eye, right there.
Can it see me?
Can it blink?
Here's what's going to happen.
You're going to go to the truck.
You're going to get some sleep.
I'm going to come
get you at sundown.
Only I'll take the stuff.
Come on.
I'm watching you.
Go bowling.
Is he all right?
Give me these poles here.
What are those stakes?
Oh, they go with it?
Give me these poles, man.
Nice being out here, right?
There you go.
Okay, easy, easy, easy.
When do we take this stuff?
Just after sun sets, we
pray to the music gods.
We wait.
You remember that
time in Georgia?
Oh, yeah, at the
fucking campground?
Camped with our fans... Mhm.
And they were awesome.
Then we wore those white
hats with the fucking thing,
and we put on the
white a linen...
That was bitching, man.
That was cool.
Then we burned a cross.
That was bitching, man.
Remember that?
Then we wanted to put
that in our video,
and then the record
company's like, oh my god.
That will ruin your
careers and your lives.
And you were like, hey,
oh, it's cool, man.
Later we found out it
was a KKK convention.
But still, our fan base...
They were cool.
They were really cool.
Maybe we should
give them a hand.
This goes through here.
Should we?
Would you rather have
a thin, long dick
like that or a short, fat one?
Dude, I don't have
to worry about that.
It's all about teamwork man.
Let's do it.
Oh, you little shit.
Come here.
Oh, you little fire ant.
I'm going to call the
called fire department.
You as much as hurt
one fly, you'll
be cursed until
the next sundown.
Take that.
Dude, you just fucked up.
I'm going to make it rain blood.
Your lack of respect
for yourself and others
will be your demise.
Late for every show for 20
years, that fucking guy.
He's the last fucking
guy to show up.
Where is he?
I can't find him.
Can't find him?
What the fuck?
I'm not his mother.
Goddamn it!
Every time.
You guys can't come
together on anything,
not even taking our
visionary medicine in unison.
You're fucking ridiculous!
You know what?
Never mind.
We don't need art.
He's the bass player.
It's not like he's
the voice of the band.
It's true.
He'll get here
when he gets here.
Let's get this going.
You got that shit?
You got it?
Oh, that's it, baby.
Time for a trip.
Not for nothing, Love.
It's a band trip.
Maybe you should stay home.
She's coming on the trip.
How much do we take?
This seems to do the trick.
Yeah, that's about right.
Good times.
All right.
, woman.
Get on it.
Listen, listen, listen.
Bigfoot was very
clear about this, okay?
We take it.
We enjoy it.
It's gentle.
We open our minds.
But we got to respect the land,
every living thing, every life.
We do that, then we'll
have a good trip.
That's what he said.
I think this is the stuff
that inspired Kurt Cobain.
Yeah, let's hope you
have a different outcome.
I'm going to write a
fucking killer song.
I'm going to write a
killer song tonight.
Hey, from your lips
to the big man's ears.
This is a big, big
moment for this band.
It is.
Important night
for the band, man.
It is.
Are you fucking shitting me?
What the fuck?
It's all gone?
Yes, it's all gone!
Fucking... are you
fucking kidding me?
You guys are so fucking
selfish and stupid!
Fuck you!
Fucking Love.
I told Love.
Why do you always pick on me?
You saw that.
Fuck you.
Write a great song.
Danny, don't take
it personal, man.
You're the business end.
I thought there was
another bag, man.
I really feel the
need to say something.
Oh, fucking Christ.
What do you got to say?
By all means.
Say something.
As we embark on this
moonlight journey,
I ask the spirits to guide us,
have them lead us to the music,
take us to that place,
take us on an epic journey
to the land of oz and back,
allow us to see all things,
let us learn, let us grow,
because our time is now,
so be it.
We are the music.
We are one.
I really felt that one.
I felt that one over here.
Come here.
I feel my chakras aligning.
I don't feel anything.
Do you feel anything?
Are you feeling it?
Metal's like a
war for the people
who can hear the whisper.
You know?
Danny's fucking right.
It's like we don't
fucking have it, man.
We don't fucking have it.
He's fucking right, man.
It was a hot summer's night.
She was sweating all over.
She went to the fridge
for ch-ch-cherry cola.
Hey, hey, girl, I want to get
to know you and maybe even see
your areola from
your side boob, oh.
What do you think?
Side boob.
Man, quit dicking around
Side boob.
Quit dicking around, man.
...come on.
Lean over.
What's that?
Who is that?
Is that a fucking cop?
Is that a cop?
Hey, we're camping out here.
Our fucking campground.
State your name.
State your purpose.
Your campground!
State your name!
We're... this our zone!
I can't believe this shit.
No, you got to be kidding me.
Well, hey, if you don't
want us, we can go.
Oh, shit.
I don't know where
the hell we are.
We're in the Indian
reservation or some shit.
It's those girls from the thing.
Hold my guitar, will you?
Yeah, you know I
spent $20 on shampoo?
Oh, hey.
It's cool.
I know them.
Come on and join the party.
Oh, my hair's a disgusting..
What the fuck?
My skin's dirty.
I need a shower.
Hell no.
This is disgusting.
I don't where...
Give me your phone!
Listen, I want
everybody's phones.
We're on a spiritual quest here.
Real bands don't get
spiritual inspiration
from fucking smartphones.
You too, Missy.
Put it in there.
If you try anything
creepy, you're
going to have a whole
new set of problems.
Don't flatter yourself, baby.
I've had plenty of ice
cream running down this arm.
Put it in there.
Hey, you guys, you got
to focus if it kills you.
Put your phones
in here right now.
Now listen to me.
Now I'm dead serious.
We are this close to
getting another shot,
but we're also this
close to being a band
that nobody fucking remembers.
And it's up to you guys.
This is your moment!
Find it!
I see a boob from the side.
I can see her boobs
from the side.
You know what?
I'm kind of thinking I'm
feeling a little something.
I think I'm kind of tripping.
Those idiots will never
get their shit together
and write another hit.
I love you.
You got to know that.
I know it's hard.
I'm on the road all the time.
But I want to be there for you.
Do you understand?
I'll stop asking for
threesomes all the time.
Like you said, it's
just not romantic.
I'm through playing around.
I'm serious.
What are you doing, man?
No, no, no.
What are you doing?
What are you doing up there?
Rock gods can fly, Pager.
No, man.
It's what we do.
No, man!
You can't fly!
I will fly like an eagle!
My wings... my wings failed me!
Wake up!
Wake up!
What'd you do last night?
Nothing, right?
What'd you write last night?
Side boob...
oh, don't walk away.
Side boob...
I want to play.
You know why?
Because you're an amateur.
You're all amateurs, and
you've always been amateurs.
And you know what's
worse than that?
Only thing worse than an amateur
is an asshole who believes
in amateurs, and that's me.
Oh, shit.
Because I believed in you guys.
All I ever asked was for
you to get up on stage
and play your music, show
off your God-given talents.
Can you lower your voice?
I've given you time, 25 years.
Every day I'm on
the phone fucking
busting my ass for you guys.
I gave you every
penny I've ever made.
And worst of all, I gave
you my fucking soul.
And last night, you
murdered my soul.
You shot my fucking
soul in the back.
So fuck you.
I quit.
Oh, come on.
Can I have my phone, please?
It's in the car.
Son of a bitch!
Holy shit.
A fucking ant?
That's a big-ass ant.
Okay, bitch.
Come on!
Love, baby.
Cut it!
Oh, shit.
There's another one!
There's a whole bunch of them!
Get him in there.
Is that you, man?
There you go.
Come on.
All right, get in!
Get in!
Hurry up!
What are you doing?
Oh, man!
We're coming, man!
We're going to help you!
Fuck Art!
What's up?
Save yourselves, guys.
They're coming!
Holy shit!
Get off my friend!
Get off of him!
He's a fucking bass player!
Keys. Keys.
Come on!
He's not even anymore.
Artie, let's go!
Artie, come on, man!
Get off!
Oh, fuck!
You bit me!
Come on, Artie.
Let's go.
Hey, those ants are coming!
Come on!
Keep going!
Keep coming!
It even got my fucking gun!
We're going to die!
We're going to fucking die!
They're fucking eating us alive!
Maybe it's the peyote.
Maybe this is all just
a big hallucination.
I didn't eat any peyote, okay?
Where's Lisa?
Oh, she's in the car.
She's in the car.
She's fine.
Fucking took Art's
fucking arm off!
I know!
Bit his fucking arm!
Calm down!
In my arm!
We've been through worse!
That's not the first
band member we've lost!
Man, he's the best bass
player there ever was, man!
We're going to die!
His fucking arm.
We can hire another bass player.
We don't give up, man.
That's right.
All right?
We'll replace him.
You actually mentioned somebody
the other day.
When you were like, hey, maybe
we can get that other guy?
Joey Ferraro.
Joey Ferraro!
He ca make it out
here by tomorrow.
He was better!
I didn't want to be the one who
told Art he wasn't in the band.
Now with him being dead, we
don't have to go through that.
That would have been traumatic.
Call him up.
I'm going to call
up Joey Ferraro.
Call him up.
Yeah, he's got two arms!
So far.
We're going to be okay.
Okay, done with that.
I want to go home!
Oh my god!
We're going to be okay.
We've been through
so much worse.
Are you kidding me?
That shit happens every
day in rock and roll.
What is that?
Oh, shit.
Look at the size of them.
Can ants even get that big?
No, man.
I know ants.
Holy shit.
Oh my god!
Get it off me!
Back up.
Don't kill it!
Just kick it out the door!
What are you doing with a gun?
I'm in the music industry.
Shit, that's fucking loud!
You're going to be okay.
Get it off me!
Yeah, I'm not so
sure about that.
I got it.
Please get it off me!
I got it.
Oh my god!
That is some fucking picnic.
These are the last two.
Poor little guys... they're
really taking a beating
out there on the highway.
You'd think these
motorists would
have a little more respect.
Look, we got a bigger problem.
The musicians?
Fucking Sonic Grave.
That power ballad is overrated.
They never rocked.
We need to prepare.
I'll get the bazooka.
Not loaded yet.
Maybe you should carry it.
What are we going to do?
We were warned.
What do you mean we were warned?
Who... who is Bigfoot?
The Native we bought
the peyote from.
He said crazy shit would
happen if we effed up!
How the fuck did we eff up?
Art must've killed an ant.
We were told if we hurt one
living thing while we were
on this sacred land, anything...
An animal, even a bug...
It'll rise up.
It'll come get us.
Are these magic ants, man?
Are these magic ants?
It's going to get worse.
Come on.
Come on.
They're gone.
Let's get out of here.
Let's go.
Art has... had the keys.
Of course he did.
You guys, I have mine.
Okay, great.
Get the fuck out of here.
Let's go.
What was that?
It was an ant, a
giant fucking ant.
Shit, Lisa.
We got to get out there.
My god.
We got to do something.
We got the keys.
She's got the phones.
I... they're in the back seat.
Why did you do that?
'Cause I thought it was a good
idea at the time, obviously.
Oh, man.
What are we going to do, man?
We can't go out there.
It's too fucking dangerous.
We'll never get those keys.
We got to get out there.
We're going to save her.
Don't worry.
We're going to die.
We're going to be...
It's going to be okay.
We're going to get her.
I'm going to save her.
We'll get those phones, babe.
I don't know what
we're going to do.
It's so dangerous.
Get the phones.
We got to do something.
God, what it she doing?
I don't know, but I'm
pretty sure this is not
going to end well.
Die, bitches!
She's fine.
Oh my god!
I've survived worse.
That was crazy.
Oh my god.
Don't look.
Don't look.
It's fine.
She's fine.
Oh my god.
She's all yours.
It's going to be okay.
She was a good kid.
She'll be missed.
Hey, guys.
We'll dedicate a song to
her for sure at Nochella.
I mean, that's going to be...
Maybe she's going to live.
Listen, it's sad,
but it's mesmerizing.
It's horrible.
She's probably fine.
Those assholes.
The worst kind, except for
that Friday night in '95.
Yeah, it's fine.
They're so fucking big, man.
They got bigger.
It's a big fucking ant!
Wait, wait, wait.
We killed a man
inside of here, right?
Every time we kill one,
they'll get bigger.
How do you know that?
I don't know how I know.
Do you know how to stop them?
Okay, well, wait.
Maybe we can't stop them
but we can outsmart them.
I know ants.
Look, there's... ow...
There's 22,000 species of
ants on all the continents.
But none on Antarctica.
Okay, yeah, you know
what else is weird?
You were supposed to be fucking
practicing and writing songs.
And now I know you
were watching Jeopardy,
because I saw that question!
Look, I know about ants.
And like, I used to
have this ant farm,
and I used to watch them.
And they would make these
little tunnels and little rooms
and stuff.
And I studied them, like
their behavior and everything.
I can think like an ant.
That's true.
I believe that.
Yeah, he's got a little...
Ant-size brain.
Look, ants, their whole
purpose is to get food,
to bang the queen, and make
more drones... soldiers...
So the cycle continues.
And everybody thinks
the queen is there
to rule the roost and stuff.
But it's not the case, man.
She's just there to
bang and make more ants.
What's the fucking point, man?
What's the point?
I don't know.
But the point is, one ant,
it can't live by itself.
It's like a single cell.
You know?
It needs an organism to survive.
So in the case of
ants, the colony
is like a super organism.
Okay, what the fuck are
you talking about?
What is he talking about?
I have no idea.
Hey... Exactly.
What the fuck... let him finish.
He's not finished yet?
He seems like he's done, though.
It seemed like it was the end.
We need to take out
the super-organism.
We need to cut off
the communication.
How do we do that?
We fuck up their antennas
so they can't communicate,
and then they die.
He did hear that
mostly on Jeopardy.
I was sitting there with him.
Hey, everybody.
Danny here, a little
update from the road.
Right now, we're trapped
in a fucking stinky tuna
can with no air condition.
And oh... and two guys died.
And over here, yeah, we got
a broken leg on this guy
over here.
And the likelihood of
us making the festival
is about the same likelihood
as my second ex-wife
taking back the
herpes she gave me
when she fucked the pool guy
because I was on the road
with you fuckers all the time.
Oh, and I almost
forget to mention...
We're being attacked
by giant ants.
Yeah, something
to do some cursed
peyote, which I had none
of, because you guys are
selfish pricks!
That pretty much
sums up everything
unless somebody else would
like to share some insight.
Danny, come on, man.
It's not the time.
How about in 10 minutes
when we're fucking dead?
Would that be the good time?
You know what?
If we do get out
of here, I'm done.
I'm done.
You know, it'd be cool
if we could figure out
a way to confuse them.
You know?
Like jam their frequency.
Hey, man, if you can
figure something out,
I'll play that power
ballad whenever you want.
Right on.
You'd play the power ballad and
you wouldn't complain about it?
We'd rock that shit.
Well then, guess what, buddy...
We're back.
We're back.
Let's use our
heads for a change.
Number one, fucking
fire kills these ants.
All right?
We know that!
Yeah, Danny, and every time
it makes them bigger again.
Why do you have to say that?
Give her break.
She did just witness
the cute black chick
dying in a huge explosion.
Can we please just take a moment
to mourn the loss of my friend?
I just did.
I called her a cute black chick.
Oh my god.
We got to keep moving, guys.
What else do we got?
If we just figure out a way
to communicate with them,
you know?
Babe, you've got
to give it a rest.
Got to give it a rest.
Maybe we could use these.
What are you going
to do with those?
You seen the size
of these things?
Extremely flammable, keep
away from open flame.
Bug bombs!
But twice as dangerous.
Death from above.
This is how we get the keys.
What keys?
Your keys that are fucking out
there in the fucking desert.
We throw these up in the air.
Danny shoots them out
the sky with his.38.
Like a cowboy!
We gas those fuckers!
That's right!
And it's going to
fucking explode,
and a cloud of fucking death
is going to rain down...
On these motherfuckers!
And make that fucking show!
Never make the show!
Am I right?
Now that's a plan I
can get my head around.
Rock and roll!
We're going to rock!
1, 2, 3, 4.
And by the way... Let's try it.
I was completely
lying about the herpes.
I don't have herpes.
Nobody in this band has...
Where'd they go?
Why are you always so sweaty?
Maybe the explosion
really did it.
Well, I'll be.
Coast is clear.
Let's do this.
All right.
They're coming back.
Always so negative, man.
You know what, Stevie?
The first time I
heard you drum, I
payed you the highest
compliment you can pay a woman.
I said, that chick has balls.
Well, they must've fallen off,
but you better grow them back,
'cause it's time to take
some goddamn chances.
Are you ready?
I'm ready.
Let's do this thing!
I got it!
Okay, let's go.
You ready?
Yeah, 1, 2, 3.
You all right?
Oh my god.
I've got five bullets left.
All right?
What are we going to do?
These things are
getting in here.
What are we going to do?
We're gonna die!
No, we're not.
We're not going to die.
Now close those curtains.
Fold those fucking up.
Let's not let them see us.
We're going dark in here.
Hey, you remember when
we did that first album?
Yeah, everybody hated it.
People hated it They
fucking hated it.
Yeah, so what?
Remember how we had to go
dormant for a little while?
We did.
And then we came
back with fucking...
With fucking rock!
Then everybody loved us?
They did!
And we fucking ruled!
Every time we kill one
of these fucking ants,
they come back bigger,
just like that.
But there's that
period of dormancy.
That's when we fucking strike!
That period of downtime, that's
when we have to make our move!
So we kill one, and then
they go away for a minute.
We get the hell out of here!
Are you sure it's going to work?
You got any better ideas?
They're taking us!
We're moving!
We're moving!
Okay, everybody calm down.
We got to kill one!
WE got to kill one!
Calm down!
He's taking us to the queen.
She's always hungry.
Yeah, and she's three...
Guys, I got it!
Oh my god.
You got it!
Let's kill it!
Come on!
Let's go!
I got this.
Holy mother of all that's holy.
You make them mad?
I'm trying.
Don't waste your bullets, man!
We have three left.
We're fine, buddy.
I don't want to die!
You're not going to die!
I don't want to die!
Get out of my way!
Hey, get the hell out of my way!
Don't make me shoot through you.
Move ahead!
I'm going to shoot
between your legs.
Yeah, dude!
Did it.
Dead ant.
Dead ant.
Dead ant.
Dead ant!
Oh, Danny.
Danny, dude.
Stay with us, man.
Dude, wake up.
Get up.
Dead ant!
Fuck you!
Oh, fuck!
My hand is gone!
Oh my god, my hand is gone!
It's bleeding everywhere!
Give me some fucking shirts!
It is gone.
Goddamn it.
This is all you could find?
This is our best tour T-shirt!
We sell these for 25 bucks!
Goddamn it!
My fucking hand!
Oh, shit!
Man, I fucking thought they
were supposed to retreat!
I thought they were
supposed to retreat!
That's what I fucking thought!
Where's the?
Find the!
Oh, man!
This is horrible.
We got to get of here, man.
Can you see them?
You see any hands out there?
Where are they going?
Going underground.
To get bigger.
Next time you think I'm dead,
don't do that cross thing
on me.
I'm Jewish, guys.
Oh, shit!
How do you not know that?
Because you always
wear crosses, man.
Well, those are
fashionable crosses.
That's right.
Those aren't the
fucking Jesus cross.
It does look like...
I love you.
Okay, what are we going to do?
I love you.
What's the plan?
Okay, here's the plan.
Love, you take
Danny and Merrick.
You get them back to the truck.
How's that cut?
You're going to be okay?
All right, you're coming
with me and Stevie.
We're going to find what's
left of Art, get those keys,
meet you back at the truck,
and we're out of here.
All right.
Just in case.
Keep your eyes for a
extra left hand out there.
Where's the truck?
Over this way.
Come on.
Come on.
Let's go.
You got it, buddy.
You got it.
Get the gate.
Hold on.
Get the gate.
Let's get him in there.
Get him in.
Check the cabin for the keys.
Check for the keys.
Ow, thanks a lot.
It's fucking Art's bass.
Who needs that?
Let's go.
Fuck him.
Let's drive.
Let's get out of here.
We got to go!
Let's go, baby.
Let's get out of here.
Got to be somewhere.
Go to be a piece of him
around here somewhere.
We got to hurry up!
Hurry up.
We got to find him!
They're coming back any minute.
We've got to get the
fuck out of here.
Can't find them.
Well, keep looking.
I don't want to die
in this little truck.
We're not going to
fucking die in this truck.
We're warriors.
We made it this far.
Yeah, that's the kind of
stuff we write songs about.
Yeah, unless we
die in this truck.
Got to hurry!
Find something!
What is it?
That sounds like good news.
Did you find him?
Oh my god!
Oh, shit.
Is that him?
A piece.
That's disgusting.
Oh my god.
Yeah, that's Art's foot.
It's tiny.
Oh, man.
He had small feet.
Yeah, everything.
Yeah, well, he had a big dick.
He had a big dick.
Hopefully she'll find that next.
We got to dig him up.
Come on.
Let's dig.
We got to find the shorts.
I'm going to be sick.
Come on!
Get over it!
Get the keys!
Help us dig!
Find the keys!
Come on.
Find them.
His calves are big from
carrying all that weight, but...
I can't do this.
You got to get in
the fucking game!
Come on!
Stevie's right.
Get in the game.
Get over it!
We got to dig.
Oh, god.
What's that?
I feel something here.
Aw, it's smushy.
Ah, there's something here.
Oh, it's his pelvis.
Oh my god.
Move it to the side.
See, that was really bad!
Okay, keep going.
Keep going!
His shorts got to be down here.
Is that the shorts?
It's the shorts.
Where's the pocket?
Wait, you guys!
I feel something.
You see that?
It's right here.
Where the fuck...
I feel... oh my god.
I can't fit my hand through.
Stevie, see if you can
fit your hand through.
Oh, god.
Stick it in there.
Hurry up.
Go on.
Oh, god.
Oh, god.
That's it.
Go, go, go, go, go.
It's deep.
I can't reach it, man!
Come on, guys.
Go get it.
You guys, what if the
ant's coming through here?
Hurry up!
Go, Stevie!
I'm going deep.
We got to hurry!
Almost there.
I got it!
We found the keys!
Let's go!
Come on!
We got they keys!
We found them!
We got the keys!
Thank god!
Come on!
All right!
Yeah, we'll write
a son about... ow!
Oh, I'm sorry.
Oh my god!
Oh, no!
Keep coming with the keys.
Forget her!
Only the good die young.
Hurry up!
Come on!
Let's get here!
Come on!
Save yourselves!
Come on!
Hurry up!
Let's go, go, go, go.
Come on!
Oh, get it going!
They're coming!
1, a 2... a 1, 2, 3, 4!
We're going the wrong way!
Hey, we're going the wrong way!
Going the wrong way!
Oh, shit!
Holy shit.
That shit is fast.
Go, faster, faster!
Look at how big they are!
They're coming at us like
an angry herd of Corvettes!
Those are good cars, though.
Go faster!
I'm trying!
If this wasn't so scary,
it would be awesome.
Come on!
Here comes one!
That one's coming up fast!
Oh, shit!
Do something!
He's coming!
Oh, shit!
No, give me the axe!
Give me the axe!
Get it, Pager!
Oh, Jesus!
Get him!
Give me the spray!
Do we still got that can?
You got it, buddy!
Yeah, in your eyes!
In your eyes!
Die, motherfucker!
Get him, Pager!
Kick it!
Fuck you, ant!
Fuck you!
They're still fucking coming!
La, la, la, la, la, la, la,
la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la!
I've never seen so many.
They're leading them
to the festival.
Well, we got to get down
there and warn them.
Let's go.
You're a rad driver.
Don't even think about it.
Give us a break.
Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go!
Go, go, go!
They're coming!
Go, go, go!
Whoa, whoa, whoa... can't let
you go through with that, chief.
You're in a lot of danger.
We need to evacuate this place.
Okay, stop with the crazy talk.
Hand over the weapon.
Then we can go play
cowboys and Indians.
How about that, huh?
Is that a racial slur, asshole?
Oh, you do not
want a piece of us.
Hand that over too, big fella.
I'm not handing it.
I'm stuffing it.
You got about two minutes before
1,000 ants come over that ridge
and kill every
single one of you.
Okay, I'm not sure what
peace pipe you're smoking.
But if you don't hand over the
weapon, I'm going to take it.
Don't threaten him with
a good time, or me.
Whoa, back it up.
Back it up.
Oh, it's going to happen.
It's not going to.
Put the dynamite away.
Just turn around.
That's it!
Give me it!
That's it!
Oh my god!
Don't close your eyes.
Don't close your eyes.
Don't sing your last lullaby.
Don't close your eyes.
It's the festival!
Fuck yeah!
It's the festival!
Don't sing your last lullaby.
You have one minute to live.
Okay, buddy.
Look, you get to see this.
It's them.
I've got to get to the PA
Stevie, get to the main stage.
Warn everyone you can.
We're right behind you.
You led them here.
Your band sucks.
You disgraced my
land and my people.
I'm sorry.
You will be.
Where are we going?
To the main stage.
I bet they have a band
bunker underneath it.
Look at our sign... Oh, god.
Right next to the shitters.
We suck.
Come on!
We got to go!
We go to go!
I need to get on the mic!
Hey, what are you doing?
Put me on the PA!
Ladies and gentlemen...
Hey... it's not working!
You guys are in a lot of danger.
Wait up!
Oh, no, they got to warn them.
Okay, everybody.
That was Stereoblasters.
Let's hear it for them.
We can't hear you... microphone!
Now we're going to have
a 10-minute intermission,
and then we're going to
have Sonic Grave performing,
Come on, babe.
If we don't make it, I...
I just... I need you to know...
I know.
Oh, shit!
Oh, shit!
Not my first fucking concert!
I can't die on the
fucking shitter!
Oh, fuck.
Want a sip?
Oh, fuck that!
I'm not going to die.
You're not going to die!
I got a song to sing, and
I'm going to go save us.
Don't leave me!
Come on, start a fire.
Baby, cross my wires.
Light up my hair.
Overload my circuits.
Let me feel the juice.
Make me an offer
that I can't refuse.
Blow my fuse.
You got nothing to lose.
Blow my fuse.
I need a good shot.
I can't give it to you
on electric cruise.
Blow my fuse.
You light my light.
I'll light you.
Baby, shake my tower.
Get it while it's hot.
Baby, feel my
power, 50,000 watts.
Come on, feel the voltage,
light thick and through,
from the whites of my eyeballs
to the soles of my shoes.
Blow my fuse.
You got nothing to lose.
Blow my fuse.
I need a good shot.
I can't give it to you
on electric cruise.
Blow my fuse.
Fuck yeah!
Oh my god!
You killed it.
Fucking A.
It was a hot summer's night.
She was sweating all over.
She went to the fridge
for a ch-ch-cherry cola.
I said, hey, girl, I
want to get to know you.
I can almost see your areola.
She wore a rock-and-roll
tee cut up on the side.
It was only in the front
that she bothered to hide.
She moved to her left,
so I peeked to my right.
Oh my Lord, it's such
a wonderful sight.
It's a side boob,
naked and free.
Side boob, staring back at me.
Side boob, like a D-cup K.
That sugar's sweet, baby,
I could eat all day.
I see it from the side,
and I like the slope.
Oh, yeah.
Creamy hot and butter
on my breakfast toast.
Start my engine, baby.
Pull my choke.
I got a full tank of gas.
I want to motorboat.
I come a long hard road
many country miles.
I've seen a lot of
tour groupies, nothing
like your style.
I want to rendezvous, don't
need the number to dial.
Spin halfway around so I can
see your profile on your side
boob, baby, naked and free.
Side boob, staring back at me.
Side boob, you're like a D-cup
K. That sugar's sweet, baby.
I could eat all day.
Was it an A, B, C tucked
underneath the tee?
Size don't matter, baby.
It ain't important to me.
What can I do to set them free?
I know that there's a
present waiting just for me.
And it's a side boob,
baby, naked and free.
Side boob, staring back at me.
Side boob, baby, D-cup
K. Side boob, baby,
make it just for me.
I said side boob,
don't matter the size.
Side boob, baby, they're
bigger than mine.
Side boob, I can't
see nothing else.
Side boob, baby, got
me screaming for help.