Dead Till Death (2021) Movie Script

(eerie music)
(creepy music)
(low scary music)
(energetic music)
- Tom.
Did you hear
anything I just said?
You've been on your phone
nonstop since we left,
obsessing over Darla, pathetic.
- I'm not pathetic.
(phone dings)
Darla got a puppy?
Aw, they're both so cute.
- Maybe she doesn't
want to date you anymore
because you're a stalker.
- What?
I love her.
I have to get her back.
- So, be the man she wants
by getting in touch
with your primal self.
I'll teach you shit this weekend
she won't be able to resist.
(phone buzzing)
- Hey, Steve.
- [Steve] Hey, rockstar.
Hope you're on a toilet,
cause you're about
to shit yourself.
I'm headed to Cabo, Monday,
with those energy drink bottles.
- You won't be
there for the pitch?
- [Steve] Relax, you got this.
Just tell the client
it's gonna go viral.
- Uh.
- [Steve] Call you
when I get back.
- Okay, but, I mean.
- [Steve] Hasta la vista, baby.
(creepy music)
- Hey, but.
- Phones are making
us weak, Tom.
Yo, everyone put your
phone in the bag.
- [All] What?
- Just, put it in the bag, Hal.
- Hey, I'm playing Snack Hacker.
- Kate, curb your
Neanderthal, please.
- It might be nice for
us to disconnect, Nance.
You know?
- My van, my rules.
(eerie music)
- [Nancy] It'll be fun, guys.
- [Brad] We are going to
commune with the nature God.
(both cheering)
(creepy/energetic mixed music)
(creepy music)
- This place looks nice.
- [Brad] You're the one
who wanted to stop to pee.
(country music)
- Is this place even open?
- I survived Bushy Mountain.
(bell dinging)
- Hello, is anybody home?
Just the map and the jerky.
Are, you, alive?
- You'll need water out here.
- Huh?
Ya, got plenty of water, bro.
(eerie music)
- Liquid Death?
- You'll need as much
water as you can get.
The last thing you wanna
be out here, is thirsty.
- Murder your thirst.
Yeah, I'm good.
- Water.
You scared?
(creepy music)
- Everybody, grab your shit.
You brought a rolling suitcase?
- Yep.
- Perfect.
You can take the Liquid Death.
- What?
Wait, that's my stuff.
- Nope, don't need it.
- Hey, wait a min.
Dude, come on.
That's my only clean pair.
Dude, you're just being a dick.
- [Quig] There's a
lot of trash out here.
- [Kate] Yeah, they should
call it Trashy Mountain.
- [Quig] You're a
trashy mountain.
- [Kate] Thank you.
- See?
Fits real nice.
And take that.
This is gonna be great.
Not a cloud in sight.
All right, we got about a
five mile trek to campsite.
- [All] What?
- [Brad] Let's go, party people!
(eerie music)
- Nature Gods!
We come to you with
booze, babes, and shrooms!
Down the line.
(upbeat music)
Eat it, just eat it.
(energetic music)
(birds chirping)
- We're all out of water.
(ominous music)
- Wait.
We could drink
this Liquid Death.
Liquid Death!
(demonic speaking)
- Wow.
So pretty and shiny.
- Wish me luck, bitches.
- Brad?
- This is the queen.
- Where are the bathrooms?
- Everywhere?
Don't forget a shovel
if you go twosies.
- You guys, if you close your
eyes, they change colors.
(eerie music)
- Okay.
(relieved sighing)
(leaves rustling)
What's that?
It's just the shrooms.
Just the shrooms.
(creepy music)
- [Tom] Hey, has
anyone seen Nancy?
- Probably taking a dump.
- For an hour?
- All right, I'll
go check on her.
(creepy music)
- She's on a
vacation without me?
- Vacay, woo!
- Nancy, is that you?
(haunting music)
(scary music)
- So I just, spilled
water all over both of us
so she couldn't tell
I pissed the bed.
- Hey!
That can out there, moved.
- [All] What?
- The Liquid Death can.
- You're just high, Tom.
- Hi, Tom.
(phone dinging)
- What the hell was that?
- Nothing.
- Yeah?
- Great.
- You're not taking this
trip seriously, Tom.
Chicks dig rugged guys.
Trust me.
Watch this.
Prime time.
- He makes us do this
primal, role playing thing,
where we're both naked and
he can swing a stick around.
- Gross.
- Nice.
- Kinda hot.
- Babe.
- Coming.
- Brad.
- Kate!
Me find you!
- There's a mushroom for me,
and a mushroom for you.
- Nine!
- Mushroom for me, and
a mushroom for who?
- Eight!
- They're all for me.
- Seven!
Rain on me,
mushrooms, fly away
- [Brad] Six!
- Awhooo!
- Two!
(painful moaning)
- What the?
(scary music)
- [Brad] Kate!
Me find you!
Where the fuck are you, Kate?
- Where the hell
is my damn phone?
- Will you just help
me find Kate, already?
Where the fuck is she?
- There's something
going on here, man.
I don't know if these
Liquid Death cans are alive,
or evil, or.
Whoa, shit!
Oh, shit!
Is that Kate?
- Very funny, you got me.
Get up, Kate, jokes over.
- This isn't a joke, Brad!
- All right, well,
here's a joke.
Good luck to the both of you
getting back in the dark.
- If I'm made of atoms, and
those trees are made of atoms,
then I am that tree.
- Whoa, and I'm these chips.
- You're eating yourself.
- Everybody listen!
The Liquid Death cans
are killing people.
No, no, they killed Kate!
And I'm pretty sure
they got Nancy, too.
- [Brad] Okay.
- Oh my God.
They're all loose.
(scary music)
(scary music)
- Oh fuck, what the fuck?
(painful grunting)
- Where's Hal?
- Who cares about
Hal, where are we?
- Stop!
I think I hear something.
(twigs crunching)
Quig, you okay?
- Where is it?
- What, what?
- My fucking hatchet!
- Oh, fuck!
(stone grinding)
Brad, watch out!
- Move it off me!
- I can't, its too heavy.
- They're coming!
You gotta cut it off.
- What?
- Get my hatchet!
Do it!
Do it or I die!
Tom, now!
(pained screaming)
We're so fucked, man!
- Look!
(suspenseful music)
Let us in, please!
- Let us in!
- Are you guys okay?
- Do I look okay!?
- There are a bunch of
cans of water out there
that are killing people!
- Liquid Death?
I know.
- Thanks.
- Now, how do we
get out of here?
- Do you have a vehicle?
- It's at the south
entrance of the park.
- I know where that is.
- So, what happened to you?
- We bought a case
of Liquid Death
at this creepy general store.
- Yeah, that's where
we bought ours.
- How many cases?
- A shitload.
- You guys didn't open
all of the cases, did you?
Oh my God.
- You said, "we"?
- My boyfriend and
I got dropped off
at the entrance of the park.
The plan was to
walk up the trail
and get picked up
on the other side,
but the cans got him.
- So, you're single.
- Wait, they didn't attack you?
- No, and that got me thinking,
But then I remembered,
he littered right
before he was attacked.
There's something
you should see.
I caught this one when
I was foraging for food.
I've been studying.
On the side of the can it reads,
death to plastic,
so I started experimenting.
(can banging)
See, less than 10% of plastic
actually gets recycled.
Plastic is not economically
viable to recycle,
so recycling facilities
simply send it to landfills
or ship it across oceans
to developing countries.
Aluminum actually gets recycled
because it's viable to recycle,
and can be recycled over
and over, infinitely.
- Okay, that tracks.
- The plastic problem has
gotten so bad on Earth
that the billions
of plastic bottles
are overflowing into the
underworld, AKA, Hell,
and ruining the delicate
demon ecosystem.
So, now, Hell has unleashed
these evil cans on Earth
to kill plastic pollution, and
anyone that helps cause it.
Well, that's my theory, anyways.
- Wait, pretend you
had to pitch this idea
to a room full of strangers
and get them hooked
in one sentence.
- The cans evil is awakened
by people using
single use plastic.
- Wait, you're not one of those
marketing fuckbois, are you?
- I'm in marketing.
- Advertising is a
disgusting industry,
full of vapid assholes,
who only want to make a
buck by promoting products
that destroy the environment.
- Okay, enough
environmental psycho-babble.
How the hell do we
get out of here?
- If plastic pollution
awakens the cans evil,
then, by that logic,
cleaning up the plastic
should reverse the evil.
If we clean up the plastic
and the cans let us pass,
I can get us to your car.
- Okay.
We're gonna clean up the woods.
- Seriously?
That's fucking lame.
- I'm not giving up on Darla.
So, pick up a bag
and start cleaning.
- But, we'll need
weapons, just in case.
(rhythmic music)
- [Tom] It's working.
- [Ashley] This
way to the trail.
(suspenseful music)
Who's that?
- Nancy?
- Hey, guys.
- Nancy!
- Brad.
- I've never been so happy to
see your bitchy face before.
- Something's wrong.
She never smiles.
Brad, watch out!
- Oh my God.
The cans, they're
possessing them.
- Run!
Holy shit.
(suspenseful music)
Stay back!
- Hal's not here anymore.
- Seriously,
don't make me do this.
(chainsaw revving)
- That wasn't very nice.
- No.
Darla, I had the
strangest dream.
Let me go!
What do you want from me?
- Your marketing magic.
You Earth dwellers are
hurting our world below
with your plastic pollution.
- It's really pissing us off.
- We want you to help
us bring the message,
death to plastic,
to the world with your
ancient marketing spells.
- What?
Ancient marketing spells?
- We need the masses to become
addicted to Liquid Death
to reverse the damage
caused by you Earth fuckers.
- If you conjure your marketing
spells, we'll let you live.
- If you want to sell a product,
first you need to
consumer insight data.
So, social media targeting,
retail slotting
fees, focus groups.
You need to identify.
- What are you talking about?
- The marketing plan?
- You don't have a spell with
which to entrance the masses?
All you have is
a marketing plan?
- This marketing
fuckboi is useless!
- Then we'll just
have to kill him
and possess his small,
yet boney man shell,
and do it ourself.
- Agreed.
Then we can execute
all the nonsensical
things he spoke about.
(phone dinging)
- What was that?
- I found this tiny,
glowing wizard in the woods.
(eerie music)
- It's not a wizard,
but whatever it is,
it's something Tom
wants desperately.
Destroy it.
(chainsaw revving)
(drums beating)
- Plasticals Ad Mortem.
Plasticals Ad Mortem.
Plasticals Ad Mortem.
Plasticals Ad Mortem.
- Hey, asshole.
Give me back my phone.
(speaking Latin)
(ominous whispering)
(phone dialing)
You gotta help me!
I'm lost in the woods!
They're tryna kill me!
(phone dinging)
One second.
Darla's getting married?
To Steve?
You fucking kidding me?
I'd rather die than
live in a world
where I lose Darla
to fucking Steve.
(tragic music)
- Time to recycle your soul.
(country music)
- How much?
- Your money's no good here.
(creepy music)
(ominous chanting)
(eerie music)
(ominous chanting)