Dear Luke, Love Me (2025) Movie Script
1
So?
Look, I don't even
remember actually--
-Neither do I.
-Yeah.
We, uh--
we definitely did, though.
-Yeah.
-Oh, yeah. Yeah.
No question.
-Okay.
-We're good, though, right?
Oh.
Yeah, of course.
- Like it never even happened?
- It didn't.
According
to my short-term memory.
So yay us.
Great.
-Awesome.
-Still friends?
- Yeah, duh.
- Making sure.
Whose house are we even at?
You want to get some Taco Bell?
Oh, abso--
My life was a sun once.
Molecules of light and fire
all huddled into one star.
But then we suffered
this great explosion
and became fragmented
in so many different
directions.
Friends are getting farther
and farther away.
Brilliant light separated
by shadows.
Miss, next.
Um, I'm Penny,
and I'm here because...
I wanted to stop being such
a lazy fucking slob, I guess.
Thank you. Next.
It's hard
making new friends here.
People already seem
to have their own tribe.
It's not like undergrad
where everyone
wants to know everyone.
-You good down there?
-The-- the lock's just tricky.
I feel like I'm...
disconnected with everyone
in the world.
It's weird being away from you.
Have you heard the song
"Rivers and Roads"
by The Head and Heart?
It reminds me of you.
Most music reminds me of you.
You know, my dad saw
Bob Dylan live once.
- When?
- Uh, I don't know, late '70s?
You know, he said, uh,
when he played
"Like a Rolling Stone,"
no one even recognized the song
because he played it so many
millions of times, you know?
He just-- he just wanted to
keep it interesting for himself
and change it up.
I wonder if that's
what being married is like.
Playing the same song
over and over
and getting bored of it?
Probably.
Well, you can't divorce
your spouse,
you can't divorce genius.
Yeah, I don't think
I'm going to get married.
Can I play this?
Uh, do you know how?
Never had one, listen.
Oh, you have Double Fantasy!
You know,
I actually really like Yoko.
My mom always said that Yoko
broke up with The Beatles,
but I think that's a cop out.
Oh, my God, exactly. I know!
I mean, there were clearly
other problems going on.
-I mean, the egos.
-Exactly.
John and Yoko's love
was, like, past lives,
lightning to the brain,
thunder to the heart.
-Once in a lifetime.
-Once in forever.
-Shouting from the rooftop.
-A best friend.
-Soulmate.
-Telepathic.
John and Yoko finding love.
-Oh, my God.
-God.
Yeah, they were lucky
because that kind of thing
does not happen very often.
I mean, of course
Yoko hasn't remarried.
No, because it's sacred.
That kind of love,
that's more than just sex.
Sex has nothing to do with it.
Oh, I bet they had banging sex.
Or maybe not.
Maybe not?
"Why Don't We Do It
in the Road?"
Yeah, they had banging sex,
but their connection
makes sex seem superficial
is what I'm saying.
Oh, I totally agree with you.
Is this...
I don't know.
Otherworldly.
John and Yoko, man.
Whoa, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait, stop.
Oh, my God, do you feel that?
Yeah.
The-- the vibe.
-Heartbeat.
-Heartbeat.
-Vibe. Same thing.
-Right. Same thing.
It's like the air is pulsing.
Yeah, or, like...
breathing.
Oh.
Oh.
You know this makes us
actual tree huggers now.
I'm okay with that.
They're-- they're soft.
You know, when loggers
first found this place,
they thought they found
this gold mine of lumber.
Huh.
And when they cut down
the first sequoia,
it was so big, they said
it fell in slow motion.
Yes, the bigger it is,
the slower it falls.
Trees are so delicate.
And when they hit the ground,
they shatter
into a million splinters.
Couldn't use them for anything
except toothpicks.
Hm.
Largest trees in the world...
...reduced to toothpicks.
-You still believe in God?
-Um, I believe in something.
I believe in the vibe.
No, I mean,
I was raised Catholic, so.
Hm.
Okay, there was
this one time when--
Oh, my God, I can't believe
I'm going to tell you this.
Okay,
so I was eight years old.
And I was--
I was taking
the biggest shit of my life.
And I was--
All I could think of was,
"Jesus suffered worse than this.
Jesus suffered worse than this.
If he can get crucified,
then I can get through this."
Well, uh, a big poop
to an eight-year-old,
that's a pretty tough moment.
- Oh, my God, it's huge.
- Okay.
I'm guessing you stopped
believing in all that bullshit
a while ago, too.
Yeah, yeah.
-Yep.
-What happened?
Um, well, my youth group
was going on this rafting trip,
and I was so excited,
because I had always
wanted to go rafting.
And all of my friends
were going,
and we had spent
the whole summer,
door-to-door, fundraising.
And that week,
week of the rafting trip,
was when everyone found out
that my dad was having
an affair with another man.
-No!
-And the youth leader said
I couldn't go
on the rafting trip anymore.
What?
And we weren't allowed back
in the church anymore.
And I really never saw
any of those friends ever again.
So, that's pretty much
when I stopped believing.
Oh, my God!
That's, like,
severely fucked up.
That's traumatic.
Yeah.
-Just because your dad's gay?
-No, no.
Uh, they had no problem
with him being gay.
It was the whole cheating
on your wife thing.
Oh, my God!
How old were you?
-Seventh grade.
-Shit!
-That's great timing.
-Yep.
Was there ever
a-- a moment for you?
Um, no.
Not like
one momentous moment, no.
Okay.
Just, you know,
one day you-- you do,
one day you don't.
Like the trees.
No, no, no.
If you ever listen
to Brian May solo live,
he's hands down the best
guitarist on the planet.
I mean...
...he's like a spider
spinning a web
in-- in fast motion.
But Jimi Hendrix!
Living. I said living.
-You so did not.
-Okay, fine.
Move.
Oh, uh, you do not have to sleep
on the couch
if you don't want to.
You can sleep in my bed
if you want.
Really?
Dude, you've been sharing
my bed every night
for, like, the last month.
Come on, I mean, it's you.
Okay, I'm just making sure.
Oh, um, you're going to have to,
uh, burrito me though!
Okay!
Let me just
wiggle back and forth.
-All right.
-You good?
Yep, yep, thank you.
Thank you.
-Hey, Luke?
-Yeah?
I have to say something.
Okay.
You're my best friend.
You're my best friend
too, Penny.
I just...
People kind of notice
that we're kind of...
- Insep--
- Inseparable.
Um...
so, I think...
I like you.
I knew
you were going to say that.
I see your point, Penn.
But I just--
I don't feel the same way.
I mean, I've never had
a friend like you.
And what we have is so perfect.
If we did anything to change
that, then we might break up.
And I don't think I could handle
you not being in my life.
I mean,
you're my best friend, Penn.
Always.
Yeah, um, I mean, same.
I'm sorry,
I-- I don't want this to--
to change anything between us.
Believe me, my feelings
are not going to have
anything changed.
Don't worry.
-Are you okay?
-Yeah, I'm fine.
I-- I just had to say something.
Okay.
Good night, Penn.
Good night, Luke.
Okay.
Would you rather never
get pleasure from sex again
or never be able
to taste food again?
I-- um, I'd give up sex.
Are you kidding me?
Do you have any idea
how good a chili cheese dog is?
I am so glad you said that.
I know.
I mean, do you know
how many millions of tastes
there are out there?
-Uh, crme brle.
-Uh, Panda Express.
- Steak.
- Jesus, steak?
I mean, I would never
give up Jesus steak.
I mean,
like, an orgasm is fun,
but, like, whatever, right?
I mean, it's like Six Flags.
Yeah, like,
I could live my whole life...
Without going
on a rollercoaster.
- Yeah.
- Yes.
Yeah, I mean, it would suck.
But we have to eat every day.
Yeah. No way.
Sex is overrated anyways.
You know what I feel like here?
Hm?
Like I'm a baby in a crib...
and the trees are like
these giants looking down at me.
Like...
they're family.
Like I belong to them.
Like they're protecting you.
Yeah.
You can almost see faces
in the leaves.
Sentinels.
Is that how we get
different colors of clay,
is we blend the clay together?
It's just like paint.
Okay, one word at a time. Go.
Fine, let's make it cohesive.
No Larry the Fig Newton
monster this time.
Okay.
-Once.
-Long.
-Ago.
-When.
-Earth.
-Was.
-Rounder.
-Than.
-It.
-Is.
-Today.
-And.
-Spun.
-Like.
-A...
-Oh, a marble.
-On.
-The.
-Kitchen floor.
-Of time.
It's poetic.
-There lived.
-Two small.
Creatures.
Of existence.
-Ooh. One.
-Was named.
Being.
-Hm.
-And the other was...
Not.
And one fine spring morning.
When the sun was shining.
And the breeze was cool.
And everything
was just about as real
as it had ever been.
Being and Not.
Sat down together
as friends.
And began to talk.
And they talked,
as friends often do.
About this and that
and nothing in particular.
This is turning out to be
a riveting story, Penn.
But as the dew melted.
And their conversation
came to an end.
They decided to divide up
all the am's
and is's of the world.
And go along
their separate ways.
Oh, no. Sad.
Um, they took turns choosing.
And each one picked
the things they wanted most.
Being got the trees.
The clouds.
The birds.
Oh, the wind.
Oh, he got music.
Oh, no fair.
He got rivers
and mountains
and light from the moon.
And he was happy.
But no happier than Not
who also got the things
she'd ever wanted.
For, she got unicorns.
Mm-hmm. And dragons.
And all the elves
and trolls and pixies.
She got wishes
and dreams and ghosts.
And magic.
And before long,
everything that ever was
belonged to.
- Being.
- Or to Not.
- Except for one last thing.
- It was a small thing.
But it was something
they both wanted.
Oh, no.
What are they going to do?
So, they decided
to flip a coin.
Oh, easy.
Heads, it went to Being.
Tails, it went to Not.
It came up heads.
And here we are.
And here we are.
Oh, it's so cold. It's so cold.
-Oh, I'm freezing.
-Okay.
-Get in. Get in.
-Oh, shit.
Need to get back.
Get under the covers.
Shit, it's cold. Oh.
-Okay.
-Okay.
- God.
- Give me your hands.
Give me your hands!
It's California,
it shouldn't be this cold.
Did you not pay the heat
or something?
I didn't think I'd have to.
Okay, okay, okay,
what's your worst shiver sound?
Um,
boo, boo, boo, boo, boo,
boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo,
boo, boo, boo, boo, boo,
boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo.
Okay, okay, okay, okay.
Okay, here's mine, here's mine.
A-da-da-da, da-da-da, da-da-da.
You sound like a chinchilla.
More like chinchilly.
Oh, no, you should be
ashamed of that one.
My puns are adorable,
I don't know
what you're talking about.
Um...
-Penn, I was thinking.
-Yeah?
You want a beer?
Now?
Yeah!
Oh.
It's like breakfast in bed.
I-Hops.
Shut up.
Okay. Whoo.
So...
Whoo.
Oh, my God.
Whoo.
I have something to say.
Okay.
-About what you said last month.
-What did I say last month?
I feel the same way.
Oh.
I'm sorry
I didn't say anything earlier.
I just didn't want anything
to change between us.
Yeah, I didn't sleep
at all that night.
Yeah, I know.
I knew that.
I didn't sleep either.
Okay, so...
So, I've changed my mind.
Okay.
Yeah.
So, what do we do now?
Now...
we get to fall asleep...
holding each other's hands.
Okay.
Okay.
Jesus.
Charlie, hi!
-What's up?
-Get dressed.
-Why?
-One, it's two in the afternoon.
And two, we're going to Seacock.
You have to come with us.
-Wait, like River Seacock?
-Yeah, like Seacock River.
Uh, yes, yes.
Um, just give me,
like, ten seconds.
-Yeah.
-Wait, what?
-Yes, I'll be out here.
-Okay, okay.
Um...
Um, it might be more,
like, six minutes.
Okay.
Dear Luke,
I went to the river today.
It's nothing like
the California coast.
You would love it.
I'm getting to know
my classmates more.
Some are actually all right.
Others think they're God's
gift to writing, though.
You know, you'd think
at a place
as prestigious as Brown
that there would be
less ego, right?
All artists want a masterpiece.
I painted a banana once.
I think that was
my masterpiece.
I'm a dog.
I'm a dog.
I'm a puppy dog. Oh, boy.
I'm going to get you.
I'm going to get you.
Oh, hello. Hello.
Okay, how about, um...
Murdoch?
Like, old man Murdoch.
He's not a banker.
I still like Ramos.
No, because then everybody's
going to call him Anus.
Ramos the Anus.
He's going to get bullied.
That's stupid.
Okay. Come here, Anus.
Come here, Anus.
Come here, Anus.
We can't go another month
without having a name.
Well, it's a forever decision.
Oh, hey. Hey, excuse me.
-Hi, what's your name?
-Jared.
Jared, hey! I'm Luke.
Keep up the good work.
Okay, okay. Um, um, um, um.
Hey! Yeah, you! Yeah!
What's your name?
- Angel.
- No!
-No, the man!
-It's Thomas!
- We're naming our dog!
- Good for you!
- Moment of truth.
- Okay.
Jared or Thomas? Heads or tails?
Uh, Jared's tails,
because he had a nice ass.
Okay. Heads, Thomas.
Tails, it's Jared.
Ooh.
Mm.
Hello, Thomas.
Hi, Thomas.
Is that your name, Thomas?
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
-Leave it on.
-Why?
Because I like it.
Luke, you gotta have parties
here more often, man.
-This place is awesome.
-Yeah, I know.
-We got pretty lucky.
-"We?"
What, is Penny
finally moving in?
No, she's just here a lot.
I just can't believe it took you
two years to get together.
You guys are,
like, the same person.
Yeah, you can just,
like, really get in there.
And dig into it.
Yeah.
Oh, I wish my boyfriend would
give me back rubs like this.
Luke, I'm kidding.
Luke!
Luke, what?
Luke!
-Luke, I'm sorry!
-What are you doing?
It was nothing,
I was just making a joke.
Yeah, but saying that,
do you understand how that
makes me look to other people?
It was a joke.
Well, now everyone thinks
I'm a shit boyfriend.
What? No one thinks that.
You can't go around
saying stuff like that.
It's not like I was getting
a back massage from another guy.
-Yeah, but it's Jess.
-So?
So, there's
a different connotation.
Because she's a lesbian?
You know
I'm not a lesbian, right?
Yeah, I know.
That's not the point.
Luke, why would it matter
if she was giving me
a back massage?
She was giving everybody
back massages.
I know, but it's not that.
You made me
look like a fool out there.
Do you even still love me?
What?
Of course I do.
No, no, no. You said, "What?"
I said "what"
because it was a crazy question.
No, it wasn't. You said "what."
I said "what"
because the question
literally came out of nowhere.
Oh, my God,
you're just not going to say it.
Oh, my God, I love you.
I love you.
Of course, Luke.
Jesus Christ, I love you.
Are you kidding me?
Are you going to leave me?
No.
Luke, no.
I'm just so scared, honey.
That you'll leave me.
That I'm not doing enough.
Like, you know,
one day down the road,
I won't buy you flowers
when you secretly wanted them.
Or I'll forget to say
I love you for a day.
Or I don't give you
a stupid fucking back massage
and you'll find someone better.
And I know
I don't do all the things
that boyfriends
are supposed to do.
And maybe that's because
we started out as friends.
Or maybe it's because
I don't feel like I need to do
or be anything other than myself
when I'm with you.
I've never been more myself
with anyone else
in the world, Penn.
Hey, I'm not going anywhere.
I'm sorry I get like this.
Just...
my brain just has these crevices
and it's just
really hard to get out.
I know. It's okay.
I'm still here.
That's not going to change.
I'm your constant, remember?
- Oh, wow.
- You want to have sex?
Wow. I'm in the middle
of a game right now, hon.
But if you would like
to put on some clothes,
you can, uh,
come cuddle with me.
Oh, man.
Giddy up.
Watch the spares
on the floor, please.
What's up?
Hm. Uh, well.
Ooh, uh...
Wow.
-No, no, no, no.
-Don't go to the outside.
-Don't go to the outside.
-No, no, no.
-I'm--
-Stop.
-Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. No, no.
-No, no, no.
-Why'd you knock us both off?
-No, that was your fault.
-You knocked us both off!
-It was so your fault.
Well...
I think saltines
are severely underrated.
Are you...
coming to bed?
I don't know, I mean,
I have so many things to do.
Like, sing some songs,
think about seashells.
I might even...
ring all the little bells
in my little bell collection.
That's a lot
of important things.
I know, I could even work
on my Wookiee impression.
-Oh, my God.
-Oh. Oh, my goodness.
Okay.
How does that get you hard
and my naked-ass boobies don't?
Well...
I mean, dude's got a crossbow.
How-- how are you not gay?
That would be a much
easier answer, wouldn't it?
Well, yeah, I mean,
have you ever just wanted
a big fat cock in your mouth?
That is shockingly
unappealing to me.
Hm.
What?
I just...
I feel like
I initiate everything.
I just initiated that, didn't I?
Yeah, I know, but like
I told you, I liked you first.
I told you I was falling
in love with you first.
I just--
I feel like when I don't...
I feel like when...
I don't initiate sex,
then we just usually kind of...
forget about it.
Is that a major problem?
I don't know. Um, I mean, I...
I-- I feel like it should be.
Well...
I don't know
how to initiate usually.
I mean, that,
I-- I don't know what that was.
I-- I just don't...
I can't describe it.
I can't explain it. I just...
I don't know.
I feel like if we stop
having sex, somehow...
doesn't that just
make us best friends again?
Honey...
we were never just best friends.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Hey.
I think you're sexy.
Your choices.
Your words.
You.
Besides,
it's more than just sex.
Otherworldly.
See you, grouper.
I always thought
a grouper looks like that.
Oh, I like this guy.
He's like a wiggle.
Oh, come on,
we have to go right now
if we're going to make it
to the hawk show.
Did you know
that clawless otters--
Oh, I'm so sorry. I--
Sorry about that. Jesus.
No, that's okay.
Oh, I like your shirt.
Those were everywhere.
Oh, my God.
Um, I-- I got--
Yeah, you can keep those.
Um, Luke, what's wrong?
Talk to me.
You don't have to be so pouty.
No, don't-- don't do that.
Don't patronize me.
-I'm not patronizing you.
-Yes, you are.
Don't guilt trip me.
I can't stand it.
-I'm not.
-You are.
You are, just like my mom.
Well, I'm not doing it
on purpose.
Well, you're doing it.
-Well, I'm sorry.
-No, don't do that.
Don't make me
the bad guy here, okay?
-This wasn't supposed to happen.
-You're not the bad guy.
We just missed
the hawk demonstration.
So what? We can't go back.
Well, if you had been
paying attention,
we would not have missed it.
Oh, my God, Luke, stop.
Okay, it's all right
if plans change.
You expect these things to go
100% exactly how
you imagine them in your brain,
and then when it deviates
from those scenes
you've pre-written in your head,
you don't know how to handle it,
but you've got to know
it's okay.
It's not the end of the world,
and it's no one's fault.
People aren't going to say or do
everything you expect them to.
Things are going to get
off track and off schedule.
But it's okay.
Fine, take a map at the zoo,
but don't expect
to have one for life.
Hey, stop.
Stop, stop.
Hey.
I'm still here, okay?
Plans might change,
but I'm for always, all right?
I just want to be normal.
Where are you going?
Uh, out to drinks
with a friend.
What friend?
Just someone from work.
- Who from work?
- It's just some people.
Is it just some people,
or is it just one friend?
I don't know,
it could end up being more.
Who's the friend?
Just some guy.
Some guy?
Just a guy?
Does this guy have a name?
Uh, Scott, but does it matter?
So you and this guy Scott
are just going out
to have drinks together?
Well, he's gay,
so does it matter?
He's gay.
Yeah, so...
You don't have to worry.
I'm sorry,
I just think it's fair to ask
when my girlfriend says
that she's going out
to have drinks with another guy.
Okay.
Don't be home late.
So this is it?
I don't know.
It is it.
-I don't know.
-No.
I don't know means this is it.
I hate this, Luke.
I can't match my life
without you in it.
We were so young
when we got together.
We were practically teenagers.
I know.
And if I'm starting to have
a crush on someone else--
Then stop.
We're not
in high school anymore, okay?
We worked through these things.
Yeah, but that
has to say something
about our relationship,
doesn't it?
I could walk down the street
and it was like
no one in the world
but you existed.
And I didn't even
look at other guys.
Believe me, I know.
Then you know
it's not just that.
You know.
Sure.
My mom did say never marry
the first person you sleep with.
Oh, yeah, because she did
and it didn't work out for her.
Well, maybe she was right.
Yeah, well,
maybe she was just projecting
her own regrets onto you.
Did you ever think of that?
Well, then it worked, Luke,
because I am scared.
Okay, we're in our 20s.
That's supposed to be
the fun decade.
So let's take the next few years
and do life like
20-somethings should do life.
I mean, I want to--
I want to travel
and I want to kiss a stranger
under the Eiffel Tower
and have that one terrible
relationship I learned from
and I doubt that I'm going to
find something better
than-- than this.
And when we don't,
that's when we can...
I mean,
I'll still be here, you know?
And I never--
I never can leave you, not...
Not really.
I mean,
we have Thomas.
I still...
I mean, I can still--
Yes.
And, what, do you think
I'm going to take
my dog away from you?
Our dog.
-Well, that's debatable.
-Stop.
Just stop.
So this is it.
I don't know.
"Play the Game"
is mediocre at best.
It is not.
I am telling you,
"Play the Game" is musically
better than "Somebody to Love."
Oh, that's a bold statement.
-And wrong.
-Okay, well, listen.
Songs, when you listen to them,
like, really listen to them,
it's like getting to know
a best friend.
-I mean, you can't...
-Okay.
...just listen to a song once
just the same way you can't have
one conversation with a person
and expect to know them.
Sure, sure, sure, sure, sure.
Okay, okay.
So every time you listen, you,
like, peel back another layer.
Because when-- when you listen
to a song for the first time,
you're really just hearing
the beat and the music, right?
And then you actually
listen to the lyrics.
Oh, and then
you read the lyrics, ooh.
And then you find out
which band member wrote it.
Oh, yeah,
because no one who wrote it
changes the entire
connotation of the song
because it reflects
their own experience.
Yeah, right.
And-- and you can listen
to that song
over and over again
and-- and just hear
something completely new.
Yes!
Until...
Until you don't.
Yeah.
And then you get to do it all
over again for the next song.
Hmm.
Yeah, because who has
one favorite song anyway?
You should start dating again.
-Again? When have I ever?
-That's my point.
I mean,
you could do, like, Bumble.
Or-- or--
Like, Kayla and I met on Bumble.
I know, but I just...
I--
It's different for me, okay?
How? Why?
Because I just--
I don't do dating.
I mean, one, uh,
I don't know how to flirt.
Two, there's
way too many expectations.
It's-- it's just weird to me.
Plus, I don't find
anyone attractive.
-Like, literally.
-Wait, you found me attractive.
Yeah, well,
that's because you're weird.
You're an anomaly.
Whoa, okay, hang on.
That's a lie.
What about Jason?
Okay, I told you
he was cute once.
-Yeah.
-Once!
And that-- that doesn't count
because I've known him
for, like, forever.
We should make friend dating
a thing.
Yeah, well,
you gotta play the game.
Hey, Penn, uh,
I have to talk to you
about something.
-Uh, okay.
-Uh, it's about my birthday.
Oh, shit, did we not get
the Excalibur deal?
-Well, I was talking with Kayla.
-Okay.
And she thinks it would be
better if you didn't come.
Oh.
It's not you, okay?
I want you to be there.
Believe me,
I want you to be there.
But Kayla said something,
and she thinks
it's better if you didn't come.
Look, I know it's shitty, okay?
And-- and you practically
planned this whole thing,
and you got all the tickets
and everything,
but Kayla's my girlfriend,
and I just don't want
there to be any complications.
Okay.
Penn?
Penny?
I'm really sorry.
I know.
You should be with those
hotel rooms I got us.
So,
I broke up with Kayla.
-What? Why?
-Because she's fucking crazy.
Whoa, wow.
After our last craps game,
she full-on had tears, tantrum,
and she threw a shoe at me.
-No! In the casino?
-Yeah.
No, we were out on the street,
just screaming
that I didn't win enough money.
Was she doing a bit?
Oh, now I'm really upset
I missed it!
Oh, my God, Penny.
You would have loved it.
She was also too into horses,
you know what I mean?
Oh, she was one of those.
Hey, Penn, listen, I'm never
going to do that again.
You don't want to make
poor dating choices?
I'm never going to let
a girlfriend come between us.
The next person
who wants you out, they're out.
I'm gonna regret not having you
there for the rest of my life.
Well, 26 is a big year.
They'll be bigger.
Hey, come here.
Come here.
You should have been there.
I know.
-Hey, listen, I was thinking.
-Hmm?
I don't want to reach a time
when memories aren't made
anymore, you know what I mean?
Yeah, I do.
We won't.
I have IPAs in the fridge.
Yes, you do!
So, Laura's pregnant.
-Wow, that's great.
-Great?
Wait, Laura, like your childhood
best friend Laura?
Yeah.
I mean, she's not even married.
-So, it was a surprise?
-Oh, no, oh, no, not to them.
They've been planning
for, like, a year.
Apparently,
they don't believe in weddings.
God, they're such hippies.
This seems
perfect for them, then.
No, she's only 27. We're 27!
We were supposed to be pregnant
at the same time,
so our kids could grow up across
the street from each other
like she and I did.
I was expecting
to be a maid of honor.
I was expecting
us not to lose touch.
I was expecting everything
to be so much different.
-All right.
-Thank you.
Well,
looks like
she's the one expecting now.
No, no, don't pun with me now.
She told me by sending
a text of the ultrasound.
Oh, I knew exactly what it was
the second I saw it.
Yeah, that'd be pretty clear.
Yeah, and my heart sank.
It sank.
God, that sounds awful,
but it did.
How selfish am I?
I used happiness
as a-- as a disguise
for my uncontrollable sobbing.
Just happy tears, happy tears.
It was such-- such exciting
and joyous news.
Why are you so upset?
Upset? I'm devastated.
Then I'm thinking--
I'm thinking, why?
Why-- why is this
making me feel this way?
Is it-- is it-- is it
because I want a kid myself?
-No.
-No.
Was it because I'm single
and she had already found
the love of her life?
- Maybe.
- Possibly.
But what it really was,
was I didn't see this baby
as a new life.
What I really saw it as...
was death.
Well, that's not morbid.
I know, that makes me sound
like a horrible person.
You can redeem yourself.
Because that one moment...
when her world changed
so drastically on its head,
I knew that Laura
would never be Laura again.
Like the little-- little girl
who giggled with me
about that boy we both had
a crush on that one summer,
who-- who rode bikes with me
until the sun
didn't let us anymore.
She was my best friend, Luke.
You know, we were kids together.
Well, hey, now we get
to be kids together.
I guess it just scared me.
I'm so scared of growing up
and I'm scared of losing that.
Penny, it's the past.
It's impossible
to lose the past.
You'll have it forever.
Hey, Luke, promise me something.
Mm-hmm.
Anything.
Promise me...
that you'll never stop playing.
Ooh, Penny.
Wait, why are you walking away?
This is a moment of need for me.
-Do you see this?
-Yes.
You gave this to me
freshman year with a note,
which I keep in his butt
that says,
"Never stop having fun
in the simple things."
Okay, look at these.
Okay, our--
our one-word stories,
our-- our drawings
with the smelly, uh, markers,
our colored pencils,
our crayon tower.
Okay, look at this junk box.
Frisbees.
A baseball.
Uh, a ribbon dancer.
I don't even know what this is,
but it looks like fun.
Don't think for one second
that I'm going to stop playing.
You've frozen me in time, Penny,
and I'm so thankful that
you've given me...
all of this.
So Laura's pregnant.
Good for her.
You should be happy.
I know I'm an asshole.
You are, but it's okay.
If I go as Peter Pan
for Halloween...
will you...
be my Wendy?
Absolutely.
Perfect.
"Dear Luke, I met a guy.
He's nothing special, just some
Jersey Shore surfer dude
who is dressed
as Tarzan for Halloween.
More brawn than brain.
But he likes me.
He showed me around the city
and folded me a rose
out of a napkin
on our first date.
My eyes couldn't have rolled
farther back into my head.
I wish you could have seen it.
It's funny.
You know,
I can fall madly in love
with anyone on this planet,
but still
think of you every day.
I'm dying to hear from you.
Please, please write soon.
Or call if you can.
I-- I miss hearing your voice.
I've tried calling, but I guess
that maybe causes issues.
Anyway, I love you.
I miss you."
Can I try?
Sure.
It's a straight razor.
Yeah, all right. Ready?
-Up, right?
-Mm-hmm.
So if we zip
these two bags together,
it's going to be
like a pita pocket.
Pita pocket?
-Pita pocket.
-Pita pocket.
-Pocket.
-Pita pocket.
How many words can we think of
that start with the letter P?
Um, all of them.
Okay. "People."
Uh, "pregnant."
-"Perennial."
-"Pr-- praline."
-"Preamble."
-"Pegasa-- pegasaurus."
-Pegasus.
-"P-- p-- pow."
- Peyote.
- Poop.
Peyote poop.
I think I'm asexual.
Yeah?
Okay. Like...
I guess it makes sense.
Wait, but haven't you had sex
with, like,
all of your girlfriends?
Every one of them.
So then...
why do you think you're asexual?
Because I hated doing it.
Oh.
Oh. Oh, wow.
Did you hate doing it with me?
No.
-Well, what's the difference?
-Well, all right.
Sometimes I hated
doing it with you.
-Oh.
-Okay, all right.
I'm sorry.
Hate-- hate is the wrong word.
-Okay.
-I just...
sometimes I was just...
indifferent about it, I guess.
Okay.
You know this would have been
a really good conversation
to have
while we were dating, right?
-Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
-Okay, just so you know.
Oh, my God.
I just hate naked bodies.
You do? Really?
Yeah.
Oh, man.
Okay.
I guess
since now we're being honest...
Mm-hmm.
God, how have I not told you
this before?
Okay.
I think this is
the only thing I've...
Oh, my God, yeah,
this is literally
the only thing I've never...
not told you.
And it's...
...I've never finished with you.
What?
Sorry. I mean, I-- I can--
I can orgasm.
I just-- I just--
I do it by myself.
So in the two years
that we were dating,
you never once came.
No. I don't.
Not once.
Not once.
With Jason?
No, I fake it
with everybody.
Wow.
I just wish
you would've told me that.
It never really
bothered me or anything.
Like, it was never a big deal.
I guess...
I still like sex.
Okay.
I don't know.
It's like...
maybe I'm self-conscious
of how long it takes.
But sex doesn't gross you out?
No.
Hmm.
-Hey.
-Yeah.
Are you still attracted to me?
Um...
like...
...do I want to kiss you or jump
your bones when I'm with you?
No. I don't.
Like...
not ever.
Not anymore.
Wait, you don't want to
do that with me, do you?
- No, I don't.
- Okay.
Thank God.
We would have a big issue
on our hands if we did.
For the record,
I still think that
you are
a pretty good-looking dude.
For the record? Same.
- Really?
- Yeah, you're--
You think
I'm a good-looking dude?
You're a good-looking dude.
Absolutely.
Oh, the good-looking dude club.
The good-looking dude club.
I'm just so sick
of being single, you know?
Like, fuck, dude,
it's been a year since Jason.
I haven't had a girlfriend,
like a real,
real girlfriend, since you.
Do you think I've wasted time?
No.
-Question mark?
-In what sense?
In general? I...
I mean, what am I doing?
I have a useless
creative writing degree.
I'm grooming your neighbor's dog
and working at a call center.
What about grad school?
No. No way.
Grad school is for people
who are running away
from a failing career.
Your career's not failing.
You're right. It's not failing.
Because it hasn't even
begun yet.
Well, I mean,
do you just want to be a writer
because people tell you that
that's what you're good at?
What do you actually want to be?
I don't know. Respected?
Important?
Ah, that seems selfish.
-No, it doesn't.
-Yes, it does.
No, I think
everybody wants to be important.
Important to somebody
or important to the world.
There's a difference.
And I wish I could see it
because I would be
a lot happier if I did.
I think...
I think the whole
"to be or not to be" thing
was just Shakespeare
wanting to be important.
Okay, is it rant time?
Uh, yes, because
this is a big realization here.
Okay, he chose
to be by doing shit.
I, on the other hand,
choose not to be.
I choose not to be
every time I scroll Instagram,
every time I sleep in,
every Pokmon I catch.
I choose not to be every day,
and that is why we disappear.
So stop!
Stop not being
or-- or being not.
If you want to tell stories,
find a way to do it.
Stories are like music,
you know?
They help people
make sense of things.
You know, you're going to
write something great someday.
You know that?
Pen?
Penny?
Hey.
Look at me.
I believe in you.
Always.
Hmm.
Hey, Pen?
Yeah?
You know how you said
you've never orgasmed
with anyone before?
Yeah?
Do you want to try it now?
With me?
-Are you fucking serious?
-Yes.
Well...
I don't know, Luke.
Given the track record,
probably not.
I can try.
You can try?
What, like I'm a wind-up toy?
I mean,
didn't you just say you, like,
hated sex, like,
four months ago?
Yeah, but...
-But?
-But now I want-- I don't know.
It fluctuates.
It's not like
I haven't done it before.
-Well, you haven't.
-Come on.
-You know what I meant.
-I know.
I don't know.
I mean, would that be weird?
I'm not going to make it weird.
Are you going to make it weird?
I don't know.
It depends on if
it was weird or not.
It won't be weird.
If I say yes...
this will be
strictly scientific, you know?
I love science.
I know.
Wait, but aren't you dating
this new girl?
We've been on,
like, three dates.
Well, do you like her?
Yeah, obviously I like her.
Otherwise, I wouldn't have gone
on the second date.
But I don't know.
I've just been thinking
a lot about what you said,
and if it could work.
You just want to, like,
practice on me,
so you can
be good with her, right?
No.
I-- I want this for you.
Fine.
Fine?
Fine.
Pinky swear you won't fake it?
Pinky swear.
And this doesn't change
anything between us?
I can't imagine it would.
-Hey.
-What?
I want this.
I want to do this for you.
I can't believe
how comfortable you are.
-Fine.
-Just relax.
"Dear Luke, I can't wait
till you come visit.
There are so many dog parks.
Thomas would love it here.
But I still am just so lonely.
I used to find it so easy
to be happy all the time.
But now sometimes
I feel I'm sinking
in an ocean and I'm stuck
below all these sunken ships.
You'd think the scariest thing
about this would be
the drowning.
Not being able to breathe,
but it's not.
The scarier thing is when
I realize I can breathe.
I'm just trapped beneath
the planks on rotten
floorboards
and buried alive under leagues
of life swimming around me.
Do you ever feel that way?
Maybe you could come
for Christmas?
All my classmates
are going home for the holidays
and I'll be stuck here, alone.
So, send an owl?
I could really use a friend.
I could really
use my best friend."
Thomas, come here!
Thomas, come here!
Hello!
-Hi.
-Hi.
-Oh, hi.
-Are you Penny?
Uh, yeah, you know my name.
Yeah, well,
Luke told me about you.
-Right.
-And I always sing that song.
Yeah, what the hell even
is that song?
And how do we know it?
Anyway, I'm just here
for Thomas' walk, so...
Oh, you don't have to do that.
No, no, no, I literally do this
every day, so it's no big deal.
I know, but I would love to.
It's just that
he's so cute and I just want him
to get to know me
a little bit better.
Um...
Yeah, okay. Uh, sure.
Well, here's the leash.
And the bags
are right here by the door.
Okay.
Yeah,
I guess, thank you?
Oh, hey, um...
maybe we should grab
drinks sometime.
-Yeah, that'd be great.
-Cool.
Um, just make sure not to take
Thomas off-leash.
I know Luke does that sometimes,
but it's just not safe.
-Of course.
-Okay. See ya.
Cool, bye.
Why didn't you call me
before coming over?
-I'm supposed to call now?
-I don't know, maybe.
-It wasn't even a big deal.
-Yes, it was.
This is not how
I wanted the two of you to meet,
and Madison
got really freaked out.
-She didn't seem freaked out.
-Well, she was.
It seemed like
a totally cordial interaction.
She seems cool.
-Really?
-Yeah.
So you'll go
have drinks with her?
-Sure.
-Please do it for me.
I said yes.
Hey, thank you.
Oh, my God, I need this.
-Cheers.
-Cheers, cheers, cheers.
I think it's really cool
that you guys
are still such good friends.
But you're not like, I mean,
you're not still
in love with him or anything?
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
It's been, I mean,
it's been so long,
I-- I don't even remember
what it was like to...
Oh, my God, no. No, no, no, no.
But you guys dated for a while,
though, right?
-Like three years.
-Oh.
But we've been
just friends for, like...
God, almost a decade,
so you really have
nothing to worry about.
I mean, like, I don't even
think of him like that.
Okay? Like,
think of us like dumb Star Wars.
I'm Luke Skywalker.
And Luke's Harrison Ford.
Han? No, no, no, no.
He's not cool enough.
I mean, Luke
is clearly Princess Leia.
Oh. I mean, that checks out.
-Oh, that would make you Han.
-Ooh.
Anyway, what
I'm saying is I'm Luke,
Luke's Leia, we're like twins.
Okay, wait,
there's too many Lukes.
There absolutely are.
Okay, I'll be Chewie. Okay.
Oh, that builds well for us.
That's the dream team
right there.
So, um,
are you dating anyone now?
No. Um, yeah, no, it's just...
It's hard for me to meet people.
I mean,
you could do Hinge or Bumble.
Okay, let me rephrase.
Uh, it's hard for me
to like people.
-Why?
-Uh...
Okay, well, I did date
this one guy, Jason,
but it was...
...it was more like
a friends with benefits
kind of thing,
and it was unstable, and it was
like this rollercoaster.
I've been in so many
rollercoaster relationships.
Dude, I am so done with that.
Like, why do we do that?
-I don't know.
-Yeah.
I think real love, like, real,
real love
shouldn't have
these major highs and lows.
I mean, it should be steady
and constant and kind, you know?
My God, my last boyfriend,
I can't even tell you
how many times he made me cry.
Why do we do this to ourselves?
Why do we pick
these kind of guys?
I don't know.
I will say, though,
I think there's, like,
a goodness to sorrow,
do you know what I mean?
I think so.
Like, there's
a beauty to weeping
and a value to sadness,
because it's all part of
the human condition
and all that stuff.
-Yeah.
-Right.
It's like the balance
of the light and the dark,
-like the Force.
-Hmm. Yeah.
Maybe we can, like,
Jedi mind trick
some sweet potato fries.
Yes, please! Okay.
-That's not working.
-Yeah.
Sweet potato fries!
"Dear Luke..."
-Hey, Charlie, come on in.
-Hey, is this a bad time?
No, um, I was just, uh,
writing home.
Well, a bunch of us
are meeting downtown
at the Flying Duck later.
Uh, okay.
You could have just texted.
Well, I want to see
if you wanted to get
a drink before that, with me.
-Oh, like, just you and me?
-Yeah.
Um...
Penny, I don't know
where you've been this year,
but I just want to be
your friend.
Well, we are friends, Charlie.
Well, I want to be
better friends.
I want to spend
some time with you.
Get to know you better.
Let's just hang out.
Yeah.
-Yeah?
-Yeah.
-Cool.
-Okay. Yeah.
-All right.
-Uh, give me, like...
-uh, 30 minutes-ish.
-Okay.
-All right.
-All right.
"Dear Luke...
my manuscript reading
is coming up.
I'm really nervous about it.
You know me and public
speaking.
Sometimes I worry
you won't come,
but I know you promised.
And with us,
a promise isn't a promise.
It's a guarantee.
A fact of nature.
There's an honor in that.
We don't see that
that often anymore.
Real honor.
When somebody's word
was actually worth a damn.
Anyway, I bought you a ticket."
Hi.
"Front row."
Can I get two tickets,
one for each night, please.
"For both nights, just in case.
Everyone's families
are coming out,
so it's filling up fast.
So call me."
Thanks.
"Let me know
when you find flights.
Maybe we can even split
the airfare.
Please call.
I'm getting so worried."
No. No, no, no, no.
I highly, highly,
highly, highly...
-Highly.
-... highly doubt
that Madison is gonna be
the person that I end up with.
-I know.
-No, I've told her.
I'm not throwing away
12 years for someone
that I just met
a year and a half ago.
-Yeah.
-I'm sorry,
I just won't do that.
No, no, no, no, no.
You're my constant.
We're gonna end up
with amazing people.
Yeah? Yeah.
If only you would wear
some pants that fit you
and not the jeans that
just kind of sag off your ass.
My legs need to feel free.
I like my jeans.
I will say it's the new pair
of jeans that you got last week.
-Skinny jeans?
-Skinny jeans, yes.
That's a good pair of jeans.
Okay, what top
do you like better?
The purple one
or the one with the elephants?
Ooh, does Penny have a date?
Eh, well, it's Bumble, so,
you know.
Not the one with the elephants.
God, no.
What's wrong with the one
with the elephants?
It's mustard.
You never wear
mustard on a date.
You never wear mustard, period.
Um, I think
I look dazzling in yellow.
Yeah, in yellow.
Just not mustard,
for the love of God.
Burn the mustard.
Wait, wait, wait.
If I literally burn the shirt,
what do I get out of it?
I will buy you
Taco Bell for a week
if you light that shirt on fire.
-Really?
-Really, really.
Can I get cinnamon twisties
every time?
You can get cinnamon twists.
Ew. Ew, ew, ew, ew.
Well...
What?
Don't think too
much on these dates.
Why?
Because you're really everything
anyone could ever want.
You think you need a permit
to get married in the Sequoias?
I think you need a permit
to spread ashes there, so.
So, yeah, same thing. Right.
She was upset
because you didn't say hello
to her when we walked in.
Are you serious?
I said hello to all of you,
like the royal "you."
-I had to take the pies.
-She didn't interpret that.
Oh, my God.
Please, just text her
and apologize.
What, apologize for not rolling
out a red carpet on her arrival?
There was a lot going on,
and I said hello to both of you.
Goddamn it, Penelope.
Just do it, okay?
Fine.
Just don't make
any decisions with Madison.
I never said
I was making any decisions.
Look, I'm not saying
she's perfect,
but there are a lot of things
about her that I really love.
She's smart.
She's outspoken.
She challenges me.
Yeah, she's a lawyer.
That's her job.
Her job's really interesting.
She handles tax law.
Pen, just trust me, okay?
This isn't gonna be forever.
Just don't make any decisions
because it's something
we should be doing.
Pen, I'm not.
Nothing is permanent.
We are permanent.
But we're not normal.
Yeah, of course
we're not normal.
The real things,
the once-in-a-lifetime things,
that's never normal.
People say it's not normal.
So?
No one knows us like we do.
No one gets this.
Yeah, I know.
Why haven't we gotten
back together?
Because you need
something normal, Pen.
Maybe I don't.
Don't be stupid.
It's not stupid.
All right, fine, fine.
Then I-- I need
something normal.
Okay?
And I owe it to Madison...
to give this a fair shot.
You don't owe
anything to anybody.
Yes, I do.
Why?
That night.
What night?
-The night when we...
-Yeah?
Madison and I had just agreed
to be exclusive,
and I shouldn't have done it.
The exclusive part or me?
Well, that's a great base
for a relationship.
So what,
you're just doubling down
with Madison
because you feel guilty?
No.
Then why do you owe it to her?
Pen...
This obsession you have
with being a good person
is gonna get in the way
of you actually being happy,
because you're not doing it
for you.
You're doing it for how
other people perceive you.
You care more about
making the world see
how good you're doing or--
or how much money you're making,
that you're coloring
inside the lines
and following the fucking rules,
more than you care about
how you actually live
your own damn life.
I lied to her, Pen.
Oh, come on, you knew her
for two fucking weeks.
That's not the point.
And it was you who said
that night didn't mean anything.
No, no, you said that
that night didn't mean anything.
Well, I guess
we're same page as always.
Hey...
look, I know
what you're scared of,
and I'm telling you
that you're wrong.
The night you broke up with me,
I told you I couldn't fathom
my life without you in it,
and-- and I still mean that.
Just trust me here.
Okay.
Can we please just watch, like,
a Mel Brooks movie or something?
Because I'm just so damn tired
of everything being so heavy.
Okay.
And next up,
we have Penelope Rusk.
-Let me see.
-Well, here's these.
I want to keep the blue one.
Okay, do you want to
keep the crayon tower?
-Mmm...
-Wait a second.
No, we're missing a rung.
-No, Luke.
-We're missing a rung here.
This is our constellations.
Oh, my God, is that
from the first time we hung out?
Yeah, that was from the freshman
travel course from...
What was it? What was it?
Prescott? Presscitt?
-Pressit. Pressit.
-Pressit.
That was a fun trip.
Do you want to--
do you want to take them?
Put them up at your new place?
Yeah, sure.
Oh, my God.
Pen, remember this?
-Being and not.
-Oh, my God.
Huh.
Everything I own is you, Luke.
Yeah.
Yeah, me too.
I don't know
if I'm doing the right thing.
What? Penny...
it's Brown.
You'd be an idiot not to go.
I know, I know. It's just...
everybody's so excited
for me and I'm not excited.
I just-- I feel like...
Oh, I feel like we're in this,
like, parallel universe, and...
like, um, the--
the particle accelerator
in Switzerland?
Oh, yeah, the Hadron Collider.
Yes. Like...
what if it--
what if it malfunctioned
and they really imploded
our actual universe,
and we just jumped the tracks,
and now we're in this one
that's slightly off
and now we have Berenstain Bears
and Trump is president
and you're living with Madison
and I'm moving to Rhode Island.
Does this seem right to you?
I don't know.
I mean, no.
But we have to give it a shot
to see if it does.
And Thomas...
I guess...
...I guess
it doesn't matter who loves him.
It...
it just matters
that he's loved by someone.
Even if that's not me.
You're breaking my heart, Penny.
I mean, don't-- don't say that.
It'll be okay.
I mean, look,
we were each other's
significant other for 13 years.
It's always been you, Pen.
But you have to admit...
-that's not normal.
-I know.
Friends aren't supposed to say,
"I love you,"
to each other, right?
I know.
You have to agree
that we were better as friends.
I mean, we fought
all the time when we dated.
Not all the time.
Come on, I mean,
it's not just that.
You know.
How am I even gonna
keep up with you
if she doesn't even want you
picking up my calls?
Write me letters.
Once a week, so I miss nothing.
What, like actual letters?
Yeah, actual letters,
like the real kind.
I mean, I do like
the idea of that.
And I can, like, crumple
them up and burn the edges a bit
so they all seem like
they're coming
from a Jane Austen novel.
And use wax to seal them. Yeah?
Yeah.
You can send them to my office,
so Madison doesn't have to know.
And I'll come visit you.
I promise.
This isn't the end, dummy.
Okay.
Well, there is a reading
at the end of the year.
And I'm supposed
to read all my work
in front of, uh,
a lot of important people.
So...
Like, people
who can get you jobs?
I think so.
God, it's a year away,
and I'm already having
a panic attack about it, so...
Well, then that's my ticket.
Yeah.
Pinky swear you'll come.
Pinky swear.
Pen...
I promise.
Three thousand miles away
and you're still
my constant, Luke.
And you're mine.
Forever.
"I sat in his eyes...
and he sat in mine.
Time became music
as sunlight filled the silence
with golden notes
and major keys."
Come here.
"We breathed in
the past around us
and exhaled what was yet to come
as his heart stuttered into
a slow syncopation with mine.
But for now, our time,
a symphony."
You. Oh, my God.
Come here. Come here.
It should be illegal
for you to be that good.
-They should lock you up--
-I'll call you later.
-Bitch, you better.
-Nice work, Penny.
You have come such a long way.
Thank you.
Well, you pulled it off, kid.
How do you feel?
Uh, physically better
than where I started.
You did...
really, really great, Charlie.
Hey, a couple of us are heading
to the dock after this.
You gotta join us.
Uh, I don't know.
I-- I think I need
some decompression time
after that very traumatic
experience back there.
"Dear Luke...
tonight was my reading.
I was on page 11,
and I was so nervous,
I could barely look up
from the pages.
I was stumbling and...
God, it was awful.
But on page 11, I looked up...
because I thought if I look up
and see you in that chair...
all of my fears would
disappear.
And I looked up,
and you weren't there.
Every seat was filled...
but that one chair
in the front row...
that chair was empty.
And I wish, I wish
I could have just frozen time
right there...
just to give you more of it.
I'd wait forever, Luke.
I've never been
more upset at you."
"Dear Luke...
God, what am I still doing
writing these letters?
You know when
we said we'd haunt each other?
This isn't
quite what I had in mind.
You'd think it would get easier
with time,
but it doesn't.
The moments
of insurmountable pain
are always there,
but they just come further
and further apart, I guess.
Shadows separated
by bursts of light.
It's still hard
to find a new best friend,
and I'm trying, Luke,
I really am.
But everyone falls
just a bit short,
about a million miles.
You live in me, Luke,
like that Brian May song.
Your ways are always with me.
It's like I can't forget you
even if I tried.
You're in my stomach
and my bones,
and you're in all the music
I've ever heard.
You asked me once
what I wanted to be,
and I said
I wanted to be important.
But ever since
you disappeared...
I realized being important
to you,
just you...
was enough."
Fuck it.
Penny! Penny!
Penny! Penny! Penny!
-Hey.
-Hey.
Are you okay?
-Yeah, I'm okay.
-Great.
And that is the last time
I'll ever date a Hulk Hogan fan.
Was I proud of it? No.
Did I learn a lesson?
Also no.
I mean, at least
you gave maximum effort.
That's all that counts.
Uh...
That empty seat was for him,
wasn't it?
Um...
You haven't heard
anything from him?
At all? All year?
Pen, I'm so sorry.
The thing that's so hard
about all this is...
he's showing me a world
that I don't want to believe in.
And I hate-- I hate it
because I-- I don't want it
to be a cynical world.
I don't want it to be a world
full of...
heartbreak and betrayal.
You know, I want to
believe in love everlasting
and-- and happily ever afters
and something so important
it lasts a whole lifetime,
and if any of that's possible,
then that was it, man.
That was the shot.
God, I'm so confused because...
because hearing myself now,
it sounds like
I was in love with him, but...
Weren't you?
We weren't attracted
to each other like that.
I don't think real love has to
have those kinds of rules.
If it does,
that's quite a small box
to fit such a big word.
He was my best friend, Charlie.
He was my heart and my heaven
and my...
...and my constant.
And...
he erased me.
Penny, people change.
And that's okay.
Things happen.
People make choices
we don't expect
or even understand.
But that's okay.
You can't expect to have
some kind of map for life.
Nothing is constant, Pen.
Not you, not me, not the trees,
not the moon.
Even the stars
burn out eventually.
But that change,
that's the breath
that keeps us growing
and expanding.
I mean, maybe constant's
not a good thing.
Maybe it's just a safe thing.
Nothing ever happens
in the familiar.
Not really.
Not the important things.
I'm just...
I'm so sick of missing him.
I'm missing everything.
I don't want to...
look back and see my life
as just one giant thing I miss.
I've been missing this,
haven't I?
You want to get out of here?
Go watch E.T.?
Yes, let's do it.
Okay, now this one.
Let's freeze the flowers.
That's perfect.
Wrap around the base, please.
I need shoes!
Okay. Oh, sh--
Oh, no. Um...
Uh...
Okay.
Hey.
You okay?
Yeah, just...
give me a minute.
I'll, um--
I'll work on the Dr. Pepper.
I thought
you weren't the marrying type.
They told me you were down here.
I know you probably
don't want to see me right now,
but just hear me out.
I...
thought I was doing
the right thing.
I thought
I was doing right by Madison.
I know they say
that doing the right thing
isn't always the easiest,
but man, did I fuck this up.
Man, oh, man.
I read all of your letters.
Luke, shut up for a second.
You feel that?
The vibe?
Yeah.
It's funny, I imagined this day
so many hundreds
of times in my head.
I imagine what I'd say,
what you'd say...
how loudly I'd scream at you...
if I'd hug you,
if I'd punch you...
or if my heart would stop
altogether and that'd be it.
But I always wanted it to come.
Better late than never, right?
You buried me alive, Luke.
Put me through hell for years,
and the thing
I never could believe...
was that it was you...
who put me there.
So I'm done,
I'm done imagining
how today or...
the other days will go.
Because I...
because I don't need it anymore.
Penny...
Luke, I deserved better.
I know.
I'll never stop
loving you, Penny.
And I'll never stop loving
the person you used to be.
But...
you're in my past now, Luke.
It's impossible
to forget the past.
Yeah.
And I won't.
But I can let you go.
So being and not decided
to go their separate ways.
I hope you got
the things you wanted most.
Pen.
Penny.
We're about to start.
You ready?
Yeah.
I am.
"We were always a sequoia
falling in slow motion.
Love...
me."
So?
Look, I don't even
remember actually--
-Neither do I.
-Yeah.
We, uh--
we definitely did, though.
-Yeah.
-Oh, yeah. Yeah.
No question.
-Okay.
-We're good, though, right?
Oh.
Yeah, of course.
- Like it never even happened?
- It didn't.
According
to my short-term memory.
So yay us.
Great.
-Awesome.
-Still friends?
- Yeah, duh.
- Making sure.
Whose house are we even at?
You want to get some Taco Bell?
Oh, abso--
My life was a sun once.
Molecules of light and fire
all huddled into one star.
But then we suffered
this great explosion
and became fragmented
in so many different
directions.
Friends are getting farther
and farther away.
Brilliant light separated
by shadows.
Miss, next.
Um, I'm Penny,
and I'm here because...
I wanted to stop being such
a lazy fucking slob, I guess.
Thank you. Next.
It's hard
making new friends here.
People already seem
to have their own tribe.
It's not like undergrad
where everyone
wants to know everyone.
-You good down there?
-The-- the lock's just tricky.
I feel like I'm...
disconnected with everyone
in the world.
It's weird being away from you.
Have you heard the song
"Rivers and Roads"
by The Head and Heart?
It reminds me of you.
Most music reminds me of you.
You know, my dad saw
Bob Dylan live once.
- When?
- Uh, I don't know, late '70s?
You know, he said, uh,
when he played
"Like a Rolling Stone,"
no one even recognized the song
because he played it so many
millions of times, you know?
He just-- he just wanted to
keep it interesting for himself
and change it up.
I wonder if that's
what being married is like.
Playing the same song
over and over
and getting bored of it?
Probably.
Well, you can't divorce
your spouse,
you can't divorce genius.
Yeah, I don't think
I'm going to get married.
Can I play this?
Uh, do you know how?
Never had one, listen.
Oh, you have Double Fantasy!
You know,
I actually really like Yoko.
My mom always said that Yoko
broke up with The Beatles,
but I think that's a cop out.
Oh, my God, exactly. I know!
I mean, there were clearly
other problems going on.
-I mean, the egos.
-Exactly.
John and Yoko's love
was, like, past lives,
lightning to the brain,
thunder to the heart.
-Once in a lifetime.
-Once in forever.
-Shouting from the rooftop.
-A best friend.
-Soulmate.
-Telepathic.
John and Yoko finding love.
-Oh, my God.
-God.
Yeah, they were lucky
because that kind of thing
does not happen very often.
I mean, of course
Yoko hasn't remarried.
No, because it's sacred.
That kind of love,
that's more than just sex.
Sex has nothing to do with it.
Oh, I bet they had banging sex.
Or maybe not.
Maybe not?
"Why Don't We Do It
in the Road?"
Yeah, they had banging sex,
but their connection
makes sex seem superficial
is what I'm saying.
Oh, I totally agree with you.
Is this...
I don't know.
Otherworldly.
John and Yoko, man.
Whoa, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait, stop.
Oh, my God, do you feel that?
Yeah.
The-- the vibe.
-Heartbeat.
-Heartbeat.
-Vibe. Same thing.
-Right. Same thing.
It's like the air is pulsing.
Yeah, or, like...
breathing.
Oh.
Oh.
You know this makes us
actual tree huggers now.
I'm okay with that.
They're-- they're soft.
You know, when loggers
first found this place,
they thought they found
this gold mine of lumber.
Huh.
And when they cut down
the first sequoia,
it was so big, they said
it fell in slow motion.
Yes, the bigger it is,
the slower it falls.
Trees are so delicate.
And when they hit the ground,
they shatter
into a million splinters.
Couldn't use them for anything
except toothpicks.
Hm.
Largest trees in the world...
...reduced to toothpicks.
-You still believe in God?
-Um, I believe in something.
I believe in the vibe.
No, I mean,
I was raised Catholic, so.
Hm.
Okay, there was
this one time when--
Oh, my God, I can't believe
I'm going to tell you this.
Okay,
so I was eight years old.
And I was--
I was taking
the biggest shit of my life.
And I was--
All I could think of was,
"Jesus suffered worse than this.
Jesus suffered worse than this.
If he can get crucified,
then I can get through this."
Well, uh, a big poop
to an eight-year-old,
that's a pretty tough moment.
- Oh, my God, it's huge.
- Okay.
I'm guessing you stopped
believing in all that bullshit
a while ago, too.
Yeah, yeah.
-Yep.
-What happened?
Um, well, my youth group
was going on this rafting trip,
and I was so excited,
because I had always
wanted to go rafting.
And all of my friends
were going,
and we had spent
the whole summer,
door-to-door, fundraising.
And that week,
week of the rafting trip,
was when everyone found out
that my dad was having
an affair with another man.
-No!
-And the youth leader said
I couldn't go
on the rafting trip anymore.
What?
And we weren't allowed back
in the church anymore.
And I really never saw
any of those friends ever again.
So, that's pretty much
when I stopped believing.
Oh, my God!
That's, like,
severely fucked up.
That's traumatic.
Yeah.
-Just because your dad's gay?
-No, no.
Uh, they had no problem
with him being gay.
It was the whole cheating
on your wife thing.
Oh, my God!
How old were you?
-Seventh grade.
-Shit!
-That's great timing.
-Yep.
Was there ever
a-- a moment for you?
Um, no.
Not like
one momentous moment, no.
Okay.
Just, you know,
one day you-- you do,
one day you don't.
Like the trees.
No, no, no.
If you ever listen
to Brian May solo live,
he's hands down the best
guitarist on the planet.
I mean...
...he's like a spider
spinning a web
in-- in fast motion.
But Jimi Hendrix!
Living. I said living.
-You so did not.
-Okay, fine.
Move.
Oh, uh, you do not have to sleep
on the couch
if you don't want to.
You can sleep in my bed
if you want.
Really?
Dude, you've been sharing
my bed every night
for, like, the last month.
Come on, I mean, it's you.
Okay, I'm just making sure.
Oh, um, you're going to have to,
uh, burrito me though!
Okay!
Let me just
wiggle back and forth.
-All right.
-You good?
Yep, yep, thank you.
Thank you.
-Hey, Luke?
-Yeah?
I have to say something.
Okay.
You're my best friend.
You're my best friend
too, Penny.
I just...
People kind of notice
that we're kind of...
- Insep--
- Inseparable.
Um...
so, I think...
I like you.
I knew
you were going to say that.
I see your point, Penn.
But I just--
I don't feel the same way.
I mean, I've never had
a friend like you.
And what we have is so perfect.
If we did anything to change
that, then we might break up.
And I don't think I could handle
you not being in my life.
I mean,
you're my best friend, Penn.
Always.
Yeah, um, I mean, same.
I'm sorry,
I-- I don't want this to--
to change anything between us.
Believe me, my feelings
are not going to have
anything changed.
Don't worry.
-Are you okay?
-Yeah, I'm fine.
I-- I just had to say something.
Okay.
Good night, Penn.
Good night, Luke.
Okay.
Would you rather never
get pleasure from sex again
or never be able
to taste food again?
I-- um, I'd give up sex.
Are you kidding me?
Do you have any idea
how good a chili cheese dog is?
I am so glad you said that.
I know.
I mean, do you know
how many millions of tastes
there are out there?
-Uh, crme brle.
-Uh, Panda Express.
- Steak.
- Jesus, steak?
I mean, I would never
give up Jesus steak.
I mean,
like, an orgasm is fun,
but, like, whatever, right?
I mean, it's like Six Flags.
Yeah, like,
I could live my whole life...
Without going
on a rollercoaster.
- Yeah.
- Yes.
Yeah, I mean, it would suck.
But we have to eat every day.
Yeah. No way.
Sex is overrated anyways.
You know what I feel like here?
Hm?
Like I'm a baby in a crib...
and the trees are like
these giants looking down at me.
Like...
they're family.
Like I belong to them.
Like they're protecting you.
Yeah.
You can almost see faces
in the leaves.
Sentinels.
Is that how we get
different colors of clay,
is we blend the clay together?
It's just like paint.
Okay, one word at a time. Go.
Fine, let's make it cohesive.
No Larry the Fig Newton
monster this time.
Okay.
-Once.
-Long.
-Ago.
-When.
-Earth.
-Was.
-Rounder.
-Than.
-It.
-Is.
-Today.
-And.
-Spun.
-Like.
-A...
-Oh, a marble.
-On.
-The.
-Kitchen floor.
-Of time.
It's poetic.
-There lived.
-Two small.
Creatures.
Of existence.
-Ooh. One.
-Was named.
Being.
-Hm.
-And the other was...
Not.
And one fine spring morning.
When the sun was shining.
And the breeze was cool.
And everything
was just about as real
as it had ever been.
Being and Not.
Sat down together
as friends.
And began to talk.
And they talked,
as friends often do.
About this and that
and nothing in particular.
This is turning out to be
a riveting story, Penn.
But as the dew melted.
And their conversation
came to an end.
They decided to divide up
all the am's
and is's of the world.
And go along
their separate ways.
Oh, no. Sad.
Um, they took turns choosing.
And each one picked
the things they wanted most.
Being got the trees.
The clouds.
The birds.
Oh, the wind.
Oh, he got music.
Oh, no fair.
He got rivers
and mountains
and light from the moon.
And he was happy.
But no happier than Not
who also got the things
she'd ever wanted.
For, she got unicorns.
Mm-hmm. And dragons.
And all the elves
and trolls and pixies.
She got wishes
and dreams and ghosts.
And magic.
And before long,
everything that ever was
belonged to.
- Being.
- Or to Not.
- Except for one last thing.
- It was a small thing.
But it was something
they both wanted.
Oh, no.
What are they going to do?
So, they decided
to flip a coin.
Oh, easy.
Heads, it went to Being.
Tails, it went to Not.
It came up heads.
And here we are.
And here we are.
Oh, it's so cold. It's so cold.
-Oh, I'm freezing.
-Okay.
-Get in. Get in.
-Oh, shit.
Need to get back.
Get under the covers.
Shit, it's cold. Oh.
-Okay.
-Okay.
- God.
- Give me your hands.
Give me your hands!
It's California,
it shouldn't be this cold.
Did you not pay the heat
or something?
I didn't think I'd have to.
Okay, okay, okay,
what's your worst shiver sound?
Um,
boo, boo, boo, boo, boo,
boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo,
boo, boo, boo, boo, boo,
boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo.
Okay, okay, okay, okay.
Okay, here's mine, here's mine.
A-da-da-da, da-da-da, da-da-da.
You sound like a chinchilla.
More like chinchilly.
Oh, no, you should be
ashamed of that one.
My puns are adorable,
I don't know
what you're talking about.
Um...
-Penn, I was thinking.
-Yeah?
You want a beer?
Now?
Yeah!
Oh.
It's like breakfast in bed.
I-Hops.
Shut up.
Okay. Whoo.
So...
Whoo.
Oh, my God.
Whoo.
I have something to say.
Okay.
-About what you said last month.
-What did I say last month?
I feel the same way.
Oh.
I'm sorry
I didn't say anything earlier.
I just didn't want anything
to change between us.
Yeah, I didn't sleep
at all that night.
Yeah, I know.
I knew that.
I didn't sleep either.
Okay, so...
So, I've changed my mind.
Okay.
Yeah.
So, what do we do now?
Now...
we get to fall asleep...
holding each other's hands.
Okay.
Okay.
Jesus.
Charlie, hi!
-What's up?
-Get dressed.
-Why?
-One, it's two in the afternoon.
And two, we're going to Seacock.
You have to come with us.
-Wait, like River Seacock?
-Yeah, like Seacock River.
Uh, yes, yes.
Um, just give me,
like, ten seconds.
-Yeah.
-Wait, what?
-Yes, I'll be out here.
-Okay, okay.
Um...
Um, it might be more,
like, six minutes.
Okay.
Dear Luke,
I went to the river today.
It's nothing like
the California coast.
You would love it.
I'm getting to know
my classmates more.
Some are actually all right.
Others think they're God's
gift to writing, though.
You know, you'd think
at a place
as prestigious as Brown
that there would be
less ego, right?
All artists want a masterpiece.
I painted a banana once.
I think that was
my masterpiece.
I'm a dog.
I'm a dog.
I'm a puppy dog. Oh, boy.
I'm going to get you.
I'm going to get you.
Oh, hello. Hello.
Okay, how about, um...
Murdoch?
Like, old man Murdoch.
He's not a banker.
I still like Ramos.
No, because then everybody's
going to call him Anus.
Ramos the Anus.
He's going to get bullied.
That's stupid.
Okay. Come here, Anus.
Come here, Anus.
Come here, Anus.
We can't go another month
without having a name.
Well, it's a forever decision.
Oh, hey. Hey, excuse me.
-Hi, what's your name?
-Jared.
Jared, hey! I'm Luke.
Keep up the good work.
Okay, okay. Um, um, um, um.
Hey! Yeah, you! Yeah!
What's your name?
- Angel.
- No!
-No, the man!
-It's Thomas!
- We're naming our dog!
- Good for you!
- Moment of truth.
- Okay.
Jared or Thomas? Heads or tails?
Uh, Jared's tails,
because he had a nice ass.
Okay. Heads, Thomas.
Tails, it's Jared.
Ooh.
Mm.
Hello, Thomas.
Hi, Thomas.
Is that your name, Thomas?
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
-Leave it on.
-Why?
Because I like it.
Luke, you gotta have parties
here more often, man.
-This place is awesome.
-Yeah, I know.
-We got pretty lucky.
-"We?"
What, is Penny
finally moving in?
No, she's just here a lot.
I just can't believe it took you
two years to get together.
You guys are,
like, the same person.
Yeah, you can just,
like, really get in there.
And dig into it.
Yeah.
Oh, I wish my boyfriend would
give me back rubs like this.
Luke, I'm kidding.
Luke!
Luke, what?
Luke!
-Luke, I'm sorry!
-What are you doing?
It was nothing,
I was just making a joke.
Yeah, but saying that,
do you understand how that
makes me look to other people?
It was a joke.
Well, now everyone thinks
I'm a shit boyfriend.
What? No one thinks that.
You can't go around
saying stuff like that.
It's not like I was getting
a back massage from another guy.
-Yeah, but it's Jess.
-So?
So, there's
a different connotation.
Because she's a lesbian?
You know
I'm not a lesbian, right?
Yeah, I know.
That's not the point.
Luke, why would it matter
if she was giving me
a back massage?
She was giving everybody
back massages.
I know, but it's not that.
You made me
look like a fool out there.
Do you even still love me?
What?
Of course I do.
No, no, no. You said, "What?"
I said "what"
because it was a crazy question.
No, it wasn't. You said "what."
I said "what"
because the question
literally came out of nowhere.
Oh, my God,
you're just not going to say it.
Oh, my God, I love you.
I love you.
Of course, Luke.
Jesus Christ, I love you.
Are you kidding me?
Are you going to leave me?
No.
Luke, no.
I'm just so scared, honey.
That you'll leave me.
That I'm not doing enough.
Like, you know,
one day down the road,
I won't buy you flowers
when you secretly wanted them.
Or I'll forget to say
I love you for a day.
Or I don't give you
a stupid fucking back massage
and you'll find someone better.
And I know
I don't do all the things
that boyfriends
are supposed to do.
And maybe that's because
we started out as friends.
Or maybe it's because
I don't feel like I need to do
or be anything other than myself
when I'm with you.
I've never been more myself
with anyone else
in the world, Penn.
Hey, I'm not going anywhere.
I'm sorry I get like this.
Just...
my brain just has these crevices
and it's just
really hard to get out.
I know. It's okay.
I'm still here.
That's not going to change.
I'm your constant, remember?
- Oh, wow.
- You want to have sex?
Wow. I'm in the middle
of a game right now, hon.
But if you would like
to put on some clothes,
you can, uh,
come cuddle with me.
Oh, man.
Giddy up.
Watch the spares
on the floor, please.
What's up?
Hm. Uh, well.
Ooh, uh...
Wow.
-No, no, no, no.
-Don't go to the outside.
-Don't go to the outside.
-No, no, no.
-I'm--
-Stop.
-Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. No, no.
-No, no, no.
-Why'd you knock us both off?
-No, that was your fault.
-You knocked us both off!
-It was so your fault.
Well...
I think saltines
are severely underrated.
Are you...
coming to bed?
I don't know, I mean,
I have so many things to do.
Like, sing some songs,
think about seashells.
I might even...
ring all the little bells
in my little bell collection.
That's a lot
of important things.
I know, I could even work
on my Wookiee impression.
-Oh, my God.
-Oh. Oh, my goodness.
Okay.
How does that get you hard
and my naked-ass boobies don't?
Well...
I mean, dude's got a crossbow.
How-- how are you not gay?
That would be a much
easier answer, wouldn't it?
Well, yeah, I mean,
have you ever just wanted
a big fat cock in your mouth?
That is shockingly
unappealing to me.
Hm.
What?
I just...
I feel like
I initiate everything.
I just initiated that, didn't I?
Yeah, I know, but like
I told you, I liked you first.
I told you I was falling
in love with you first.
I just--
I feel like when I don't...
I feel like when...
I don't initiate sex,
then we just usually kind of...
forget about it.
Is that a major problem?
I don't know. Um, I mean, I...
I-- I feel like it should be.
Well...
I don't know
how to initiate usually.
I mean, that,
I-- I don't know what that was.
I-- I just don't...
I can't describe it.
I can't explain it. I just...
I don't know.
I feel like if we stop
having sex, somehow...
doesn't that just
make us best friends again?
Honey...
we were never just best friends.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Hey.
I think you're sexy.
Your choices.
Your words.
You.
Besides,
it's more than just sex.
Otherworldly.
See you, grouper.
I always thought
a grouper looks like that.
Oh, I like this guy.
He's like a wiggle.
Oh, come on,
we have to go right now
if we're going to make it
to the hawk show.
Did you know
that clawless otters--
Oh, I'm so sorry. I--
Sorry about that. Jesus.
No, that's okay.
Oh, I like your shirt.
Those were everywhere.
Oh, my God.
Um, I-- I got--
Yeah, you can keep those.
Um, Luke, what's wrong?
Talk to me.
You don't have to be so pouty.
No, don't-- don't do that.
Don't patronize me.
-I'm not patronizing you.
-Yes, you are.
Don't guilt trip me.
I can't stand it.
-I'm not.
-You are.
You are, just like my mom.
Well, I'm not doing it
on purpose.
Well, you're doing it.
-Well, I'm sorry.
-No, don't do that.
Don't make me
the bad guy here, okay?
-This wasn't supposed to happen.
-You're not the bad guy.
We just missed
the hawk demonstration.
So what? We can't go back.
Well, if you had been
paying attention,
we would not have missed it.
Oh, my God, Luke, stop.
Okay, it's all right
if plans change.
You expect these things to go
100% exactly how
you imagine them in your brain,
and then when it deviates
from those scenes
you've pre-written in your head,
you don't know how to handle it,
but you've got to know
it's okay.
It's not the end of the world,
and it's no one's fault.
People aren't going to say or do
everything you expect them to.
Things are going to get
off track and off schedule.
But it's okay.
Fine, take a map at the zoo,
but don't expect
to have one for life.
Hey, stop.
Stop, stop.
Hey.
I'm still here, okay?
Plans might change,
but I'm for always, all right?
I just want to be normal.
Where are you going?
Uh, out to drinks
with a friend.
What friend?
Just someone from work.
- Who from work?
- It's just some people.
Is it just some people,
or is it just one friend?
I don't know,
it could end up being more.
Who's the friend?
Just some guy.
Some guy?
Just a guy?
Does this guy have a name?
Uh, Scott, but does it matter?
So you and this guy Scott
are just going out
to have drinks together?
Well, he's gay,
so does it matter?
He's gay.
Yeah, so...
You don't have to worry.
I'm sorry,
I just think it's fair to ask
when my girlfriend says
that she's going out
to have drinks with another guy.
Okay.
Don't be home late.
So this is it?
I don't know.
It is it.
-I don't know.
-No.
I don't know means this is it.
I hate this, Luke.
I can't match my life
without you in it.
We were so young
when we got together.
We were practically teenagers.
I know.
And if I'm starting to have
a crush on someone else--
Then stop.
We're not
in high school anymore, okay?
We worked through these things.
Yeah, but that
has to say something
about our relationship,
doesn't it?
I could walk down the street
and it was like
no one in the world
but you existed.
And I didn't even
look at other guys.
Believe me, I know.
Then you know
it's not just that.
You know.
Sure.
My mom did say never marry
the first person you sleep with.
Oh, yeah, because she did
and it didn't work out for her.
Well, maybe she was right.
Yeah, well,
maybe she was just projecting
her own regrets onto you.
Did you ever think of that?
Well, then it worked, Luke,
because I am scared.
Okay, we're in our 20s.
That's supposed to be
the fun decade.
So let's take the next few years
and do life like
20-somethings should do life.
I mean, I want to--
I want to travel
and I want to kiss a stranger
under the Eiffel Tower
and have that one terrible
relationship I learned from
and I doubt that I'm going to
find something better
than-- than this.
And when we don't,
that's when we can...
I mean,
I'll still be here, you know?
And I never--
I never can leave you, not...
Not really.
I mean,
we have Thomas.
I still...
I mean, I can still--
Yes.
And, what, do you think
I'm going to take
my dog away from you?
Our dog.
-Well, that's debatable.
-Stop.
Just stop.
So this is it.
I don't know.
"Play the Game"
is mediocre at best.
It is not.
I am telling you,
"Play the Game" is musically
better than "Somebody to Love."
Oh, that's a bold statement.
-And wrong.
-Okay, well, listen.
Songs, when you listen to them,
like, really listen to them,
it's like getting to know
a best friend.
-I mean, you can't...
-Okay.
...just listen to a song once
just the same way you can't have
one conversation with a person
and expect to know them.
Sure, sure, sure, sure, sure.
Okay, okay.
So every time you listen, you,
like, peel back another layer.
Because when-- when you listen
to a song for the first time,
you're really just hearing
the beat and the music, right?
And then you actually
listen to the lyrics.
Oh, and then
you read the lyrics, ooh.
And then you find out
which band member wrote it.
Oh, yeah,
because no one who wrote it
changes the entire
connotation of the song
because it reflects
their own experience.
Yeah, right.
And-- and you can listen
to that song
over and over again
and-- and just hear
something completely new.
Yes!
Until...
Until you don't.
Yeah.
And then you get to do it all
over again for the next song.
Hmm.
Yeah, because who has
one favorite song anyway?
You should start dating again.
-Again? When have I ever?
-That's my point.
I mean,
you could do, like, Bumble.
Or-- or--
Like, Kayla and I met on Bumble.
I know, but I just...
I--
It's different for me, okay?
How? Why?
Because I just--
I don't do dating.
I mean, one, uh,
I don't know how to flirt.
Two, there's
way too many expectations.
It's-- it's just weird to me.
Plus, I don't find
anyone attractive.
-Like, literally.
-Wait, you found me attractive.
Yeah, well,
that's because you're weird.
You're an anomaly.
Whoa, okay, hang on.
That's a lie.
What about Jason?
Okay, I told you
he was cute once.
-Yeah.
-Once!
And that-- that doesn't count
because I've known him
for, like, forever.
We should make friend dating
a thing.
Yeah, well,
you gotta play the game.
Hey, Penn, uh,
I have to talk to you
about something.
-Uh, okay.
-Uh, it's about my birthday.
Oh, shit, did we not get
the Excalibur deal?
-Well, I was talking with Kayla.
-Okay.
And she thinks it would be
better if you didn't come.
Oh.
It's not you, okay?
I want you to be there.
Believe me,
I want you to be there.
But Kayla said something,
and she thinks
it's better if you didn't come.
Look, I know it's shitty, okay?
And-- and you practically
planned this whole thing,
and you got all the tickets
and everything,
but Kayla's my girlfriend,
and I just don't want
there to be any complications.
Okay.
Penn?
Penny?
I'm really sorry.
I know.
You should be with those
hotel rooms I got us.
So,
I broke up with Kayla.
-What? Why?
-Because she's fucking crazy.
Whoa, wow.
After our last craps game,
she full-on had tears, tantrum,
and she threw a shoe at me.
-No! In the casino?
-Yeah.
No, we were out on the street,
just screaming
that I didn't win enough money.
Was she doing a bit?
Oh, now I'm really upset
I missed it!
Oh, my God, Penny.
You would have loved it.
She was also too into horses,
you know what I mean?
Oh, she was one of those.
Hey, Penn, listen, I'm never
going to do that again.
You don't want to make
poor dating choices?
I'm never going to let
a girlfriend come between us.
The next person
who wants you out, they're out.
I'm gonna regret not having you
there for the rest of my life.
Well, 26 is a big year.
They'll be bigger.
Hey, come here.
Come here.
You should have been there.
I know.
-Hey, listen, I was thinking.
-Hmm?
I don't want to reach a time
when memories aren't made
anymore, you know what I mean?
Yeah, I do.
We won't.
I have IPAs in the fridge.
Yes, you do!
So, Laura's pregnant.
-Wow, that's great.
-Great?
Wait, Laura, like your childhood
best friend Laura?
Yeah.
I mean, she's not even married.
-So, it was a surprise?
-Oh, no, oh, no, not to them.
They've been planning
for, like, a year.
Apparently,
they don't believe in weddings.
God, they're such hippies.
This seems
perfect for them, then.
No, she's only 27. We're 27!
We were supposed to be pregnant
at the same time,
so our kids could grow up across
the street from each other
like she and I did.
I was expecting
to be a maid of honor.
I was expecting
us not to lose touch.
I was expecting everything
to be so much different.
-All right.
-Thank you.
Well,
looks like
she's the one expecting now.
No, no, don't pun with me now.
She told me by sending
a text of the ultrasound.
Oh, I knew exactly what it was
the second I saw it.
Yeah, that'd be pretty clear.
Yeah, and my heart sank.
It sank.
God, that sounds awful,
but it did.
How selfish am I?
I used happiness
as a-- as a disguise
for my uncontrollable sobbing.
Just happy tears, happy tears.
It was such-- such exciting
and joyous news.
Why are you so upset?
Upset? I'm devastated.
Then I'm thinking--
I'm thinking, why?
Why-- why is this
making me feel this way?
Is it-- is it-- is it
because I want a kid myself?
-No.
-No.
Was it because I'm single
and she had already found
the love of her life?
- Maybe.
- Possibly.
But what it really was,
was I didn't see this baby
as a new life.
What I really saw it as...
was death.
Well, that's not morbid.
I know, that makes me sound
like a horrible person.
You can redeem yourself.
Because that one moment...
when her world changed
so drastically on its head,
I knew that Laura
would never be Laura again.
Like the little-- little girl
who giggled with me
about that boy we both had
a crush on that one summer,
who-- who rode bikes with me
until the sun
didn't let us anymore.
She was my best friend, Luke.
You know, we were kids together.
Well, hey, now we get
to be kids together.
I guess it just scared me.
I'm so scared of growing up
and I'm scared of losing that.
Penny, it's the past.
It's impossible
to lose the past.
You'll have it forever.
Hey, Luke, promise me something.
Mm-hmm.
Anything.
Promise me...
that you'll never stop playing.
Ooh, Penny.
Wait, why are you walking away?
This is a moment of need for me.
-Do you see this?
-Yes.
You gave this to me
freshman year with a note,
which I keep in his butt
that says,
"Never stop having fun
in the simple things."
Okay, look at these.
Okay, our--
our one-word stories,
our-- our drawings
with the smelly, uh, markers,
our colored pencils,
our crayon tower.
Okay, look at this junk box.
Frisbees.
A baseball.
Uh, a ribbon dancer.
I don't even know what this is,
but it looks like fun.
Don't think for one second
that I'm going to stop playing.
You've frozen me in time, Penny,
and I'm so thankful that
you've given me...
all of this.
So Laura's pregnant.
Good for her.
You should be happy.
I know I'm an asshole.
You are, but it's okay.
If I go as Peter Pan
for Halloween...
will you...
be my Wendy?
Absolutely.
Perfect.
"Dear Luke, I met a guy.
He's nothing special, just some
Jersey Shore surfer dude
who is dressed
as Tarzan for Halloween.
More brawn than brain.
But he likes me.
He showed me around the city
and folded me a rose
out of a napkin
on our first date.
My eyes couldn't have rolled
farther back into my head.
I wish you could have seen it.
It's funny.
You know,
I can fall madly in love
with anyone on this planet,
but still
think of you every day.
I'm dying to hear from you.
Please, please write soon.
Or call if you can.
I-- I miss hearing your voice.
I've tried calling, but I guess
that maybe causes issues.
Anyway, I love you.
I miss you."
Can I try?
Sure.
It's a straight razor.
Yeah, all right. Ready?
-Up, right?
-Mm-hmm.
So if we zip
these two bags together,
it's going to be
like a pita pocket.
Pita pocket?
-Pita pocket.
-Pita pocket.
-Pocket.
-Pita pocket.
How many words can we think of
that start with the letter P?
Um, all of them.
Okay. "People."
Uh, "pregnant."
-"Perennial."
-"Pr-- praline."
-"Preamble."
-"Pegasa-- pegasaurus."
-Pegasus.
-"P-- p-- pow."
- Peyote.
- Poop.
Peyote poop.
I think I'm asexual.
Yeah?
Okay. Like...
I guess it makes sense.
Wait, but haven't you had sex
with, like,
all of your girlfriends?
Every one of them.
So then...
why do you think you're asexual?
Because I hated doing it.
Oh.
Oh. Oh, wow.
Did you hate doing it with me?
No.
-Well, what's the difference?
-Well, all right.
Sometimes I hated
doing it with you.
-Oh.
-Okay, all right.
I'm sorry.
Hate-- hate is the wrong word.
-Okay.
-I just...
sometimes I was just...
indifferent about it, I guess.
Okay.
You know this would have been
a really good conversation
to have
while we were dating, right?
-Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
-Okay, just so you know.
Oh, my God.
I just hate naked bodies.
You do? Really?
Yeah.
Oh, man.
Okay.
I guess
since now we're being honest...
Mm-hmm.
God, how have I not told you
this before?
Okay.
I think this is
the only thing I've...
Oh, my God, yeah,
this is literally
the only thing I've never...
not told you.
And it's...
...I've never finished with you.
What?
Sorry. I mean, I-- I can--
I can orgasm.
I just-- I just--
I do it by myself.
So in the two years
that we were dating,
you never once came.
No. I don't.
Not once.
Not once.
With Jason?
No, I fake it
with everybody.
Wow.
I just wish
you would've told me that.
It never really
bothered me or anything.
Like, it was never a big deal.
I guess...
I still like sex.
Okay.
I don't know.
It's like...
maybe I'm self-conscious
of how long it takes.
But sex doesn't gross you out?
No.
Hmm.
-Hey.
-Yeah.
Are you still attracted to me?
Um...
like...
...do I want to kiss you or jump
your bones when I'm with you?
No. I don't.
Like...
not ever.
Not anymore.
Wait, you don't want to
do that with me, do you?
- No, I don't.
- Okay.
Thank God.
We would have a big issue
on our hands if we did.
For the record,
I still think that
you are
a pretty good-looking dude.
For the record? Same.
- Really?
- Yeah, you're--
You think
I'm a good-looking dude?
You're a good-looking dude.
Absolutely.
Oh, the good-looking dude club.
The good-looking dude club.
I'm just so sick
of being single, you know?
Like, fuck, dude,
it's been a year since Jason.
I haven't had a girlfriend,
like a real,
real girlfriend, since you.
Do you think I've wasted time?
No.
-Question mark?
-In what sense?
In general? I...
I mean, what am I doing?
I have a useless
creative writing degree.
I'm grooming your neighbor's dog
and working at a call center.
What about grad school?
No. No way.
Grad school is for people
who are running away
from a failing career.
Your career's not failing.
You're right. It's not failing.
Because it hasn't even
begun yet.
Well, I mean,
do you just want to be a writer
because people tell you that
that's what you're good at?
What do you actually want to be?
I don't know. Respected?
Important?
Ah, that seems selfish.
-No, it doesn't.
-Yes, it does.
No, I think
everybody wants to be important.
Important to somebody
or important to the world.
There's a difference.
And I wish I could see it
because I would be
a lot happier if I did.
I think...
I think the whole
"to be or not to be" thing
was just Shakespeare
wanting to be important.
Okay, is it rant time?
Uh, yes, because
this is a big realization here.
Okay, he chose
to be by doing shit.
I, on the other hand,
choose not to be.
I choose not to be
every time I scroll Instagram,
every time I sleep in,
every Pokmon I catch.
I choose not to be every day,
and that is why we disappear.
So stop!
Stop not being
or-- or being not.
If you want to tell stories,
find a way to do it.
Stories are like music,
you know?
They help people
make sense of things.
You know, you're going to
write something great someday.
You know that?
Pen?
Penny?
Hey.
Look at me.
I believe in you.
Always.
Hmm.
Hey, Pen?
Yeah?
You know how you said
you've never orgasmed
with anyone before?
Yeah?
Do you want to try it now?
With me?
-Are you fucking serious?
-Yes.
Well...
I don't know, Luke.
Given the track record,
probably not.
I can try.
You can try?
What, like I'm a wind-up toy?
I mean,
didn't you just say you, like,
hated sex, like,
four months ago?
Yeah, but...
-But?
-But now I want-- I don't know.
It fluctuates.
It's not like
I haven't done it before.
-Well, you haven't.
-Come on.
-You know what I meant.
-I know.
I don't know.
I mean, would that be weird?
I'm not going to make it weird.
Are you going to make it weird?
I don't know.
It depends on if
it was weird or not.
It won't be weird.
If I say yes...
this will be
strictly scientific, you know?
I love science.
I know.
Wait, but aren't you dating
this new girl?
We've been on,
like, three dates.
Well, do you like her?
Yeah, obviously I like her.
Otherwise, I wouldn't have gone
on the second date.
But I don't know.
I've just been thinking
a lot about what you said,
and if it could work.
You just want to, like,
practice on me,
so you can
be good with her, right?
No.
I-- I want this for you.
Fine.
Fine?
Fine.
Pinky swear you won't fake it?
Pinky swear.
And this doesn't change
anything between us?
I can't imagine it would.
-Hey.
-What?
I want this.
I want to do this for you.
I can't believe
how comfortable you are.
-Fine.
-Just relax.
"Dear Luke, I can't wait
till you come visit.
There are so many dog parks.
Thomas would love it here.
But I still am just so lonely.
I used to find it so easy
to be happy all the time.
But now sometimes
I feel I'm sinking
in an ocean and I'm stuck
below all these sunken ships.
You'd think the scariest thing
about this would be
the drowning.
Not being able to breathe,
but it's not.
The scarier thing is when
I realize I can breathe.
I'm just trapped beneath
the planks on rotten
floorboards
and buried alive under leagues
of life swimming around me.
Do you ever feel that way?
Maybe you could come
for Christmas?
All my classmates
are going home for the holidays
and I'll be stuck here, alone.
So, send an owl?
I could really use a friend.
I could really
use my best friend."
Thomas, come here!
Thomas, come here!
Hello!
-Hi.
-Hi.
-Oh, hi.
-Are you Penny?
Uh, yeah, you know my name.
Yeah, well,
Luke told me about you.
-Right.
-And I always sing that song.
Yeah, what the hell even
is that song?
And how do we know it?
Anyway, I'm just here
for Thomas' walk, so...
Oh, you don't have to do that.
No, no, no, I literally do this
every day, so it's no big deal.
I know, but I would love to.
It's just that
he's so cute and I just want him
to get to know me
a little bit better.
Um...
Yeah, okay. Uh, sure.
Well, here's the leash.
And the bags
are right here by the door.
Okay.
Yeah,
I guess, thank you?
Oh, hey, um...
maybe we should grab
drinks sometime.
-Yeah, that'd be great.
-Cool.
Um, just make sure not to take
Thomas off-leash.
I know Luke does that sometimes,
but it's just not safe.
-Of course.
-Okay. See ya.
Cool, bye.
Why didn't you call me
before coming over?
-I'm supposed to call now?
-I don't know, maybe.
-It wasn't even a big deal.
-Yes, it was.
This is not how
I wanted the two of you to meet,
and Madison
got really freaked out.
-She didn't seem freaked out.
-Well, she was.
It seemed like
a totally cordial interaction.
She seems cool.
-Really?
-Yeah.
So you'll go
have drinks with her?
-Sure.
-Please do it for me.
I said yes.
Hey, thank you.
Oh, my God, I need this.
-Cheers.
-Cheers, cheers, cheers.
I think it's really cool
that you guys
are still such good friends.
But you're not like, I mean,
you're not still
in love with him or anything?
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
It's been, I mean,
it's been so long,
I-- I don't even remember
what it was like to...
Oh, my God, no. No, no, no, no.
But you guys dated for a while,
though, right?
-Like three years.
-Oh.
But we've been
just friends for, like...
God, almost a decade,
so you really have
nothing to worry about.
I mean, like, I don't even
think of him like that.
Okay? Like,
think of us like dumb Star Wars.
I'm Luke Skywalker.
And Luke's Harrison Ford.
Han? No, no, no, no.
He's not cool enough.
I mean, Luke
is clearly Princess Leia.
Oh. I mean, that checks out.
-Oh, that would make you Han.
-Ooh.
Anyway, what
I'm saying is I'm Luke,
Luke's Leia, we're like twins.
Okay, wait,
there's too many Lukes.
There absolutely are.
Okay, I'll be Chewie. Okay.
Oh, that builds well for us.
That's the dream team
right there.
So, um,
are you dating anyone now?
No. Um, yeah, no, it's just...
It's hard for me to meet people.
I mean,
you could do Hinge or Bumble.
Okay, let me rephrase.
Uh, it's hard for me
to like people.
-Why?
-Uh...
Okay, well, I did date
this one guy, Jason,
but it was...
...it was more like
a friends with benefits
kind of thing,
and it was unstable, and it was
like this rollercoaster.
I've been in so many
rollercoaster relationships.
Dude, I am so done with that.
Like, why do we do that?
-I don't know.
-Yeah.
I think real love, like, real,
real love
shouldn't have
these major highs and lows.
I mean, it should be steady
and constant and kind, you know?
My God, my last boyfriend,
I can't even tell you
how many times he made me cry.
Why do we do this to ourselves?
Why do we pick
these kind of guys?
I don't know.
I will say, though,
I think there's, like,
a goodness to sorrow,
do you know what I mean?
I think so.
Like, there's
a beauty to weeping
and a value to sadness,
because it's all part of
the human condition
and all that stuff.
-Yeah.
-Right.
It's like the balance
of the light and the dark,
-like the Force.
-Hmm. Yeah.
Maybe we can, like,
Jedi mind trick
some sweet potato fries.
Yes, please! Okay.
-That's not working.
-Yeah.
Sweet potato fries!
"Dear Luke..."
-Hey, Charlie, come on in.
-Hey, is this a bad time?
No, um, I was just, uh,
writing home.
Well, a bunch of us
are meeting downtown
at the Flying Duck later.
Uh, okay.
You could have just texted.
Well, I want to see
if you wanted to get
a drink before that, with me.
-Oh, like, just you and me?
-Yeah.
Um...
Penny, I don't know
where you've been this year,
but I just want to be
your friend.
Well, we are friends, Charlie.
Well, I want to be
better friends.
I want to spend
some time with you.
Get to know you better.
Let's just hang out.
Yeah.
-Yeah?
-Yeah.
-Cool.
-Okay. Yeah.
-All right.
-Uh, give me, like...
-uh, 30 minutes-ish.
-Okay.
-All right.
-All right.
"Dear Luke...
my manuscript reading
is coming up.
I'm really nervous about it.
You know me and public
speaking.
Sometimes I worry
you won't come,
but I know you promised.
And with us,
a promise isn't a promise.
It's a guarantee.
A fact of nature.
There's an honor in that.
We don't see that
that often anymore.
Real honor.
When somebody's word
was actually worth a damn.
Anyway, I bought you a ticket."
Hi.
"Front row."
Can I get two tickets,
one for each night, please.
"For both nights, just in case.
Everyone's families
are coming out,
so it's filling up fast.
So call me."
Thanks.
"Let me know
when you find flights.
Maybe we can even split
the airfare.
Please call.
I'm getting so worried."
No. No, no, no, no.
I highly, highly,
highly, highly...
-Highly.
-... highly doubt
that Madison is gonna be
the person that I end up with.
-I know.
-No, I've told her.
I'm not throwing away
12 years for someone
that I just met
a year and a half ago.
-Yeah.
-I'm sorry,
I just won't do that.
No, no, no, no, no.
You're my constant.
We're gonna end up
with amazing people.
Yeah? Yeah.
If only you would wear
some pants that fit you
and not the jeans that
just kind of sag off your ass.
My legs need to feel free.
I like my jeans.
I will say it's the new pair
of jeans that you got last week.
-Skinny jeans?
-Skinny jeans, yes.
That's a good pair of jeans.
Okay, what top
do you like better?
The purple one
or the one with the elephants?
Ooh, does Penny have a date?
Eh, well, it's Bumble, so,
you know.
Not the one with the elephants.
God, no.
What's wrong with the one
with the elephants?
It's mustard.
You never wear
mustard on a date.
You never wear mustard, period.
Um, I think
I look dazzling in yellow.
Yeah, in yellow.
Just not mustard,
for the love of God.
Burn the mustard.
Wait, wait, wait.
If I literally burn the shirt,
what do I get out of it?
I will buy you
Taco Bell for a week
if you light that shirt on fire.
-Really?
-Really, really.
Can I get cinnamon twisties
every time?
You can get cinnamon twists.
Ew. Ew, ew, ew, ew.
Well...
What?
Don't think too
much on these dates.
Why?
Because you're really everything
anyone could ever want.
You think you need a permit
to get married in the Sequoias?
I think you need a permit
to spread ashes there, so.
So, yeah, same thing. Right.
She was upset
because you didn't say hello
to her when we walked in.
Are you serious?
I said hello to all of you,
like the royal "you."
-I had to take the pies.
-She didn't interpret that.
Oh, my God.
Please, just text her
and apologize.
What, apologize for not rolling
out a red carpet on her arrival?
There was a lot going on,
and I said hello to both of you.
Goddamn it, Penelope.
Just do it, okay?
Fine.
Just don't make
any decisions with Madison.
I never said
I was making any decisions.
Look, I'm not saying
she's perfect,
but there are a lot of things
about her that I really love.
She's smart.
She's outspoken.
She challenges me.
Yeah, she's a lawyer.
That's her job.
Her job's really interesting.
She handles tax law.
Pen, just trust me, okay?
This isn't gonna be forever.
Just don't make any decisions
because it's something
we should be doing.
Pen, I'm not.
Nothing is permanent.
We are permanent.
But we're not normal.
Yeah, of course
we're not normal.
The real things,
the once-in-a-lifetime things,
that's never normal.
People say it's not normal.
So?
No one knows us like we do.
No one gets this.
Yeah, I know.
Why haven't we gotten
back together?
Because you need
something normal, Pen.
Maybe I don't.
Don't be stupid.
It's not stupid.
All right, fine, fine.
Then I-- I need
something normal.
Okay?
And I owe it to Madison...
to give this a fair shot.
You don't owe
anything to anybody.
Yes, I do.
Why?
That night.
What night?
-The night when we...
-Yeah?
Madison and I had just agreed
to be exclusive,
and I shouldn't have done it.
The exclusive part or me?
Well, that's a great base
for a relationship.
So what,
you're just doubling down
with Madison
because you feel guilty?
No.
Then why do you owe it to her?
Pen...
This obsession you have
with being a good person
is gonna get in the way
of you actually being happy,
because you're not doing it
for you.
You're doing it for how
other people perceive you.
You care more about
making the world see
how good you're doing or--
or how much money you're making,
that you're coloring
inside the lines
and following the fucking rules,
more than you care about
how you actually live
your own damn life.
I lied to her, Pen.
Oh, come on, you knew her
for two fucking weeks.
That's not the point.
And it was you who said
that night didn't mean anything.
No, no, you said that
that night didn't mean anything.
Well, I guess
we're same page as always.
Hey...
look, I know
what you're scared of,
and I'm telling you
that you're wrong.
The night you broke up with me,
I told you I couldn't fathom
my life without you in it,
and-- and I still mean that.
Just trust me here.
Okay.
Can we please just watch, like,
a Mel Brooks movie or something?
Because I'm just so damn tired
of everything being so heavy.
Okay.
And next up,
we have Penelope Rusk.
-Let me see.
-Well, here's these.
I want to keep the blue one.
Okay, do you want to
keep the crayon tower?
-Mmm...
-Wait a second.
No, we're missing a rung.
-No, Luke.
-We're missing a rung here.
This is our constellations.
Oh, my God, is that
from the first time we hung out?
Yeah, that was from the freshman
travel course from...
What was it? What was it?
Prescott? Presscitt?
-Pressit. Pressit.
-Pressit.
That was a fun trip.
Do you want to--
do you want to take them?
Put them up at your new place?
Yeah, sure.
Oh, my God.
Pen, remember this?
-Being and not.
-Oh, my God.
Huh.
Everything I own is you, Luke.
Yeah.
Yeah, me too.
I don't know
if I'm doing the right thing.
What? Penny...
it's Brown.
You'd be an idiot not to go.
I know, I know. It's just...
everybody's so excited
for me and I'm not excited.
I just-- I feel like...
Oh, I feel like we're in this,
like, parallel universe, and...
like, um, the--
the particle accelerator
in Switzerland?
Oh, yeah, the Hadron Collider.
Yes. Like...
what if it--
what if it malfunctioned
and they really imploded
our actual universe,
and we just jumped the tracks,
and now we're in this one
that's slightly off
and now we have Berenstain Bears
and Trump is president
and you're living with Madison
and I'm moving to Rhode Island.
Does this seem right to you?
I don't know.
I mean, no.
But we have to give it a shot
to see if it does.
And Thomas...
I guess...
...I guess
it doesn't matter who loves him.
It...
it just matters
that he's loved by someone.
Even if that's not me.
You're breaking my heart, Penny.
I mean, don't-- don't say that.
It'll be okay.
I mean, look,
we were each other's
significant other for 13 years.
It's always been you, Pen.
But you have to admit...
-that's not normal.
-I know.
Friends aren't supposed to say,
"I love you,"
to each other, right?
I know.
You have to agree
that we were better as friends.
I mean, we fought
all the time when we dated.
Not all the time.
Come on, I mean,
it's not just that.
You know.
How am I even gonna
keep up with you
if she doesn't even want you
picking up my calls?
Write me letters.
Once a week, so I miss nothing.
What, like actual letters?
Yeah, actual letters,
like the real kind.
I mean, I do like
the idea of that.
And I can, like, crumple
them up and burn the edges a bit
so they all seem like
they're coming
from a Jane Austen novel.
And use wax to seal them. Yeah?
Yeah.
You can send them to my office,
so Madison doesn't have to know.
And I'll come visit you.
I promise.
This isn't the end, dummy.
Okay.
Well, there is a reading
at the end of the year.
And I'm supposed
to read all my work
in front of, uh,
a lot of important people.
So...
Like, people
who can get you jobs?
I think so.
God, it's a year away,
and I'm already having
a panic attack about it, so...
Well, then that's my ticket.
Yeah.
Pinky swear you'll come.
Pinky swear.
Pen...
I promise.
Three thousand miles away
and you're still
my constant, Luke.
And you're mine.
Forever.
"I sat in his eyes...
and he sat in mine.
Time became music
as sunlight filled the silence
with golden notes
and major keys."
Come here.
"We breathed in
the past around us
and exhaled what was yet to come
as his heart stuttered into
a slow syncopation with mine.
But for now, our time,
a symphony."
You. Oh, my God.
Come here. Come here.
It should be illegal
for you to be that good.
-They should lock you up--
-I'll call you later.
-Bitch, you better.
-Nice work, Penny.
You have come such a long way.
Thank you.
Well, you pulled it off, kid.
How do you feel?
Uh, physically better
than where I started.
You did...
really, really great, Charlie.
Hey, a couple of us are heading
to the dock after this.
You gotta join us.
Uh, I don't know.
I-- I think I need
some decompression time
after that very traumatic
experience back there.
"Dear Luke...
tonight was my reading.
I was on page 11,
and I was so nervous,
I could barely look up
from the pages.
I was stumbling and...
God, it was awful.
But on page 11, I looked up...
because I thought if I look up
and see you in that chair...
all of my fears would
disappear.
And I looked up,
and you weren't there.
Every seat was filled...
but that one chair
in the front row...
that chair was empty.
And I wish, I wish
I could have just frozen time
right there...
just to give you more of it.
I'd wait forever, Luke.
I've never been
more upset at you."
"Dear Luke...
God, what am I still doing
writing these letters?
You know when
we said we'd haunt each other?
This isn't
quite what I had in mind.
You'd think it would get easier
with time,
but it doesn't.
The moments
of insurmountable pain
are always there,
but they just come further
and further apart, I guess.
Shadows separated
by bursts of light.
It's still hard
to find a new best friend,
and I'm trying, Luke,
I really am.
But everyone falls
just a bit short,
about a million miles.
You live in me, Luke,
like that Brian May song.
Your ways are always with me.
It's like I can't forget you
even if I tried.
You're in my stomach
and my bones,
and you're in all the music
I've ever heard.
You asked me once
what I wanted to be,
and I said
I wanted to be important.
But ever since
you disappeared...
I realized being important
to you,
just you...
was enough."
Fuck it.
Penny! Penny!
Penny! Penny! Penny!
-Hey.
-Hey.
Are you okay?
-Yeah, I'm okay.
-Great.
And that is the last time
I'll ever date a Hulk Hogan fan.
Was I proud of it? No.
Did I learn a lesson?
Also no.
I mean, at least
you gave maximum effort.
That's all that counts.
Uh...
That empty seat was for him,
wasn't it?
Um...
You haven't heard
anything from him?
At all? All year?
Pen, I'm so sorry.
The thing that's so hard
about all this is...
he's showing me a world
that I don't want to believe in.
And I hate-- I hate it
because I-- I don't want it
to be a cynical world.
I don't want it to be a world
full of...
heartbreak and betrayal.
You know, I want to
believe in love everlasting
and-- and happily ever afters
and something so important
it lasts a whole lifetime,
and if any of that's possible,
then that was it, man.
That was the shot.
God, I'm so confused because...
because hearing myself now,
it sounds like
I was in love with him, but...
Weren't you?
We weren't attracted
to each other like that.
I don't think real love has to
have those kinds of rules.
If it does,
that's quite a small box
to fit such a big word.
He was my best friend, Charlie.
He was my heart and my heaven
and my...
...and my constant.
And...
he erased me.
Penny, people change.
And that's okay.
Things happen.
People make choices
we don't expect
or even understand.
But that's okay.
You can't expect to have
some kind of map for life.
Nothing is constant, Pen.
Not you, not me, not the trees,
not the moon.
Even the stars
burn out eventually.
But that change,
that's the breath
that keeps us growing
and expanding.
I mean, maybe constant's
not a good thing.
Maybe it's just a safe thing.
Nothing ever happens
in the familiar.
Not really.
Not the important things.
I'm just...
I'm so sick of missing him.
I'm missing everything.
I don't want to...
look back and see my life
as just one giant thing I miss.
I've been missing this,
haven't I?
You want to get out of here?
Go watch E.T.?
Yes, let's do it.
Okay, now this one.
Let's freeze the flowers.
That's perfect.
Wrap around the base, please.
I need shoes!
Okay. Oh, sh--
Oh, no. Um...
Uh...
Okay.
Hey.
You okay?
Yeah, just...
give me a minute.
I'll, um--
I'll work on the Dr. Pepper.
I thought
you weren't the marrying type.
They told me you were down here.
I know you probably
don't want to see me right now,
but just hear me out.
I...
thought I was doing
the right thing.
I thought
I was doing right by Madison.
I know they say
that doing the right thing
isn't always the easiest,
but man, did I fuck this up.
Man, oh, man.
I read all of your letters.
Luke, shut up for a second.
You feel that?
The vibe?
Yeah.
It's funny, I imagined this day
so many hundreds
of times in my head.
I imagine what I'd say,
what you'd say...
how loudly I'd scream at you...
if I'd hug you,
if I'd punch you...
or if my heart would stop
altogether and that'd be it.
But I always wanted it to come.
Better late than never, right?
You buried me alive, Luke.
Put me through hell for years,
and the thing
I never could believe...
was that it was you...
who put me there.
So I'm done,
I'm done imagining
how today or...
the other days will go.
Because I...
because I don't need it anymore.
Penny...
Luke, I deserved better.
I know.
I'll never stop
loving you, Penny.
And I'll never stop loving
the person you used to be.
But...
you're in my past now, Luke.
It's impossible
to forget the past.
Yeah.
And I won't.
But I can let you go.
So being and not decided
to go their separate ways.
I hope you got
the things you wanted most.
Pen.
Penny.
We're about to start.
You ready?
Yeah.
I am.
"We were always a sequoia
falling in slow motion.
Love...
me."