Demo (2025) Movie Script
1
(birds chirping)
(ethereal synth music)
(heavy breathing)
(grunting)
(groaning)
(snoring) (TV playing)
(farting)
(alarm beeping)
Huah!
(grunting)
(funky synth music)
Oh.
(funky music)
(sighing)
(funky music)
(light music)
Mm...
(chuckles)
(sipping)
Mm!
(smacking lips)
You can, uh, keep the change.
(funky music)
(screeching tires)
Get your ass in the car.
Finally.
Ah!
Smooth move, buddy.
Shut up.
Where are we going?
To the dawn of man.
Hell yeah.
(warbling)
(guttural shouting)
("Also sprach Zarathustra" by Strauss)
(flicking lighter)
("Also sprach Zarathustra" continues)
(man hooting)
(guttural chanting)
Ah!
(electronic beeping)
(electronic whooshing)
(squishing)
Heh, heh, heh.
Hey, check this out. Check this out.
Heh, heh.
(smacking)
Ha, nice.
(electronic whooshing)
(funky music)
It's every damn time they come.
(grumbling)
I'm gonna get 'em.
You! You!
Get!
(sighs)
(mumbling)
Do you even know why we're here?
No.
Not a single idea?
No.
Really? Look around.
It's empty!
Why are we here on a Saturday? Nothing?
Well, let's take a look
down memory lane, huh?
Let's see... oh!
Hey, let's check out what's
behind door number one.
Look at this.
Why we can't turn left on red lights.
Worshtesh, ware, warsh..
Worcestershire.
Whatever.
And the Pabst cases.
This case is gonna be a lot harder
to solve than your last, okay?
You leaving the Pabst has set
this timeline back 6,000 months.
Now I've gotta go back and fix it myself.
Look at 'em.
Over the last three days they're hammered,
got tattoos, and somehow found an Old Navy
and bought khakis.
This was your strike three, okay.
I'm sorry, but I should
be letting you guys go.
But let's be honest, if
you're gone, I'm gone.
And I can't be gone.
I can't get another job.
They won't let me back, okay?
Right now I'm kinda like a rat cornered.
Okay, I'm out here, I'm in the corner.
I'm gonna find my way.
And let's be honest, guys,
if it's between me or you,
I'm gonna drive over you, okay, all right?
I'm gonna mow you right on over, okay?
-Jesus.
-All right?
But one thing about me is I'm always
gonna find my way out.
Even if I have to chew
through the damn drywall,
I'm gonna find my way out.
And I think I found our
golden ticket, Charlie.
Okay, I've got three simple jobs.
I've got a TV stuck in
the Medieval Ages, okay?
It's guarded by this
Triclops that was outcasted
by the community for
just shouting profanities.
I've got a Bozo clown and a killer gorilla
going around just murdering people,
saying whatever the heck they want.
I don't like that! Get them out!
And there's a nerd.
Anyway, they're all on the same planet.
We've gotta get it done
by the end of the day.
This is the perfect opportunity
to get your jobs back, okay?
Okay.
I've got your device, pre-programmed,
all three are on here.
You click the button, you
get in, you zap 'em out.
You go on to the next,
you click the button,
ya zap 'em, you go out and ya...
-Zach.
-This sucks.
It's a piece of crap, I know.
Okay, gentle hands with it, please, okay?
This is as simple as it can be.
There's no way you can mess this up.
You think you can handle this?
-Yeah.
-Aye-aye!
Aye... uh, yeah.
Yeah.
Let's, let's go.
And boys, don't mess this up.
(electronic beeping)
(funky music)
See ya.
(funky music)
(farting)
(funky music)
(screaming)
(screeching tires)
Ah!
I just got hit by a car.
Oh my god, oh my god.
Ah!
I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry!
Do you know what you've done?
No, I don't know, I...
You guys came outta nowhere!
-Sir, are you all right?
-The device is broken!
Did you break it?
You broke it!
You broke it!
I broke his leg? Oh my god, I'm so sorry.
Oh, look over there!
What?
Look, we need to get this guy's car.
Yeah, and we should
also probably kill him.
Why?
Because he clearly knows too much.
You dumb ass.
(grunting)
That's not gonna work for me, boys!
Not one bit!
Homer, Marge, scoot it!
I've been mapping out
this route for three months
and I swear if I'm off by one inch,
it throws my whole thing off.
You and your Looney Tunes squad,
they can head on out of here, okay?
Hey, is everything okay?
Why are you in yellow?
What's going on?
Who am I?
(tense synth music)
Oh my god.
There's no need to fear.
I am Zach.
And I am Tyler.
[Together] And we...
Are stealing your car.
Sorry about your face.
Wait, who are you?
You guys can't take my car.
Look, do you have any
idea how important you are?
You are not.
So why don't you stay out of our way,
before I make you eat your damn car keys.
Wait, what?
No, that's not happening.
What are you talking about?
First of all, you punched
me and now you're going
to take my car?
You hit us with your car!
And you broke our device.
You came out of
nowhere in your yellow suits!
I don't have time!
Hey, I'm filing a police report.
(groaning)
What do you want?
I don't know, my car?
An explanation?
Oh, he wants an explanation!
We're the DEMO men.
Department of Energy
and Matter Organization.
And we're trying to fix the universe.
Yes, which we currently can't do
because you broke our device
whenever you, oh, ho, ho!
Hit us with your car!
We can still do the job, we
just can't teleport anywhere.
That's right.
Which is why we're stealing your car.
Okay, still none of this makes sense,
but I am telling you right now,
you are not taking my
car anywhere without me.
Ugh! We don't have time for this!
Let's just take him with us.
Fine, but you're getting in the trunk.
On your left!
(light music)
(crunching)
Wait, this is Lost Hill.
Yeah, it used to be.
Now it's the middle ages.
Okay, well what about the port a potties
and the park signs and stuff?
That's probably where
the time bubble ends.
So they probably can't see those things.
Yeah, right now to
them it just looks like
some big, grandiose field.
Okay, well, if we walk into this bubble,
what about our clothes?
Won't we look weird to them?
Yeah, I mean probably for a little bit,
but then the universe will reset
and they'll forget it and
everything will be fine.
Yeah, that's not the point.
The point is we go in,
get the TV, get out, boom.
Yeah, you see physical
objects, they cannot be reset.
So that's why we have a job.
We go in, grab the object, then we leave
and the day is done.
Everyone forgets it, it's fine.
What?
Do you know what deja vu is?
Well, I...
Dumb ass!
Deja vu is when you know something,
but then you don't know
it, so everything's fine
when you think about it later.
What?
No, no, deja vu is when you ask yourself,
hm, hasn't this happened to me before?
And usually, it hasn't.
But in this case, it has.
The universe just makes us forget.
Dumb ass.
Dumb ass.
-Are you ready to go?
-Yes.
Are you ready to go?
No.
[Together] That's the spirit.
(dramatic music)
(light music)
(sighing)
So, if you'll follow me through here,
you will see that we have a lovely
flooring throughout the home.
Okay guys, now, follow me this way.
The flooring perfectly compliments
this beautiful wall right here.
Now, take a look at this wall.
Feel it, feel it.
Each and every pebble and
fossil hand forged in Germany.
Have you been to
Germany? It's really lovely.
-No.
-It really is.
Now, I'm thinking
that this area right here
could be perfect for a
kid's bedroom, or storage,
or even, I don't maybe a nursery.
I mean, I don't wanna
pull any strings or anything.
Wah, da, da, da, da, da.
We are not raising our child...
Shh.
This is home.
Oh, I'm so glad you feel that way.
What!
How?
I'm feeling it too.
-We're gonna take it.
-Wait, no, no, no.
No, no, we haven't even talked about this.
Now, if you'll follow me this way,
I'd like to show you some
more features of the shack, okay.
Now look at this wall right here.
This wall is perfectly
accented by the flooring.
Each and every pebble handcrafted
and forged from Germany.
Have you been to Germany?
No!
It's quite lovely, you
should go and visit.
And the lovely skylight
in these windows, Edith,
are perfect for letting daylight through.
Skylight?
There is no roof!
You understand me? No roof!
Skylight?
We are not buying this house.
Yes we are!
No, we are not.
Think of my baby.
I am.
(Edith grunting)
Oh my god.
(dramatic drumming)
Wizards?
(dramatic drumming)
Wizards, oh shit.
(dramatic drumming)
They'll be the one's
Milthorn is waiting for.
(dramatic drumming)
Milthorn the high wizard?
(dramatic drumming)
We're gonna continue
this search another time,
but right now I have other
matters to attend to, I'm afraid.
(Edith groaning)
Wait, sirs! Wizards.
Behind you.
Wait, wait, wait!
Sirs, I am at your humble service.
Me being a lowly real estate peasant
and you being high wizards of grandeur.
Are you here to see Milthorn the great
and powerful wizard of the land?
We are, yeah.
Oh yeah, have you seen any magical items?
Oh, I don't think so.
I do remember Milthorn mentioning...
Milthorn! Where is Milthorn?
Yes, where is Milthorn?
Oh, I couldn't tell you, I...
(whooshing)
I...
(farting)
Am here.
Ye be strangers to this land and me.
Who are you?
I am Benedict, the real
estate peasant, at your service.
Don't touch me.
Yes, sir.
Who are you?
I am the great wizard of Waverly Place.
Oh, oh yes.
Uh...
I am Chris Angel, mind freak.
Nice to meet you.
What about you?
-Me?
-Yeah, you.
Who are you?
Uh...
My name is...
Come on.
Darren.
(grimacing)
Darren?
What do you want?
We're looking for a magical item.
Hmm.
It's kind of long.
Mm-hm.
About ye big.
Oh, yes. I've heard of this magic item.
It is one that has caused a
great disturbance in my land.
You seek the magic
box with a face like water.
Yeah, that's probably it.
That's probably it, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
But I must warn ye.
This magic item has attracted the attention
of a foul beast which guards the cave
in which the item now rests.
Okay.
Yet, you still wish to retrieve the item?
Yeah.
Yup.
There may be other dangers we encounter
on the path to the cave.
Horrible things.
Angry goblins.
Mean tempered trolls.
And other malfeasances.
Yeah.
Yup, just...
-Yep, let's go.
-Let's go do it.
It will be a medium length journey.
One that may cause you to break a sweat.
Yet, you still wish to proceed?
Yeah.
Yup.
Fine.
Let's go.
(triumphant music)
(triumphant music continues)
(groaning)
Benedict?
Oh, there you guys are.
What are you doing here?
Well, I was taking a shortcut
and then I fell down and,
uh, I can't close my hands.
Okay, that's enough, let's go.
(triumphant music)
Wait, wait, wait.
Don't take another step.
Or else I'm gonna...
I'm...
I'm gonna...
I... I'm gonna eat you.
Really?
Yeah, I'm gonna eat you.
I'm gonna put you in my mouth.
You are gonna eat us?
You're gonna put us in your mouth?
Yeah, orally speaking.
Okay.
I'm sorry, aren't you just like a guy?
Uh...
A guy?
No.
I'm a Triclops. Three eyes.
Tri, three clops.
Clops.
Do you have a problem with that?
(laughing)
-Where?
-Right.
Where is it? Where's
your third eye, buddy?
Yeah?
I'll believe it when I see it.
Okay, I...
I didn't know I was outing
myself, but it's right here.
Oh god!
Oh man! Ah!
Ah!
What?
What is so wrong?
What is the problem?
Put it away!
What was that?
[Triclops] It's my eye, you
said you wanted to see it.
Okay, look, look, look, look.
We are just looking for a TV.
What is that?
A television set.
What is that?
It's about... it's about ye big.
Ye wide.
Ye big... wide.
Okay, I'm not sure what ye is.
Oh, no, but the thing that like emits light
and you like watch things, programming?
[Zach] Yeah.
Some would say television?
[Zach] Yeah.
That is not in there.
Not in there.
Do not go in there.
It's not in there.
I'm sorry, I'm gonna regret asking.
Do all cyclops have an eye on their ass?
Okay, you will regret asking that.
No, okay.
Yeah, not everybody has
an eye on their ass, okay?
Usually it's on the forehead.
What is so wrong with that?
Well, is it...
I mean, is it like a condition?
Yeah, it's a...
You know, some have said
a genetic disorder, okay?
Do you see like a... do
you see a doctor for it?
A doctor?
Like a... like a triclops doctor?
Like, oh, let me get checked out.
Let me go see the triclops doctor.
No! That's not a thing.
Why would that be a thing?
Well, I'm just wondering, like,
do you ever get a little bit of lint
or something in the eye?
That... that's true.
Okay, that's the first true thing you've...
(whooshing)
You know, it's a...
It's a bummer about your TV, man.
But you know what?
I'll bet that chick Vanessa
took it though, man.
She was like so upset at
you last week when you...
When you called her Vicky last week, man.
She probably took that
thing just to like, uh...
Like, spite you, man.
Yeah, man, it's a bummer, man.
But my parents said they got like a TV
that we can borrow, man.
So, once...
Once we get that, we'll
be back in business, man.
(ethereal music)
I think need to lay off.
Hey!
Ha, ha.
You found your TV, man.
Thanks.
And I have a notoriously sweaty ass.
We got the TV.
Okay, see ya.
Wait.
Cyclops.
No, come back.
Come...
Come back.
I love you.
Hey, guys, I'm sorry.
So, was that it?
Like, we saved the day or whatever?
Yes, we got all three
jobs done for the day.
Mister smarty Darren!
You did it, buddy.
Really?
-No.
-Stupid.
We've still got two jobs left.
But that wasn't bad, right, fellas?
(crunching)
Oh fu...
What's this?
[Cameraman] Are you ready?
Three, two, one, action.
Good afternoon, Springfield.
This is Ron Maroon live
from downtown reporting
on the bloody crime spree
that started a week ago today.
Last Monday Richard Sicko,
AKA Schlomo the Clown
and his pet gorilla Fifi pulled
off a daring daylight escape
from Farnham and Hailey Circus.
Resulting in the death of four
Loughton law enforcement officers.
And this man, Lawrence
Quinn, a local numbskull
who was run over by Schlomo and Fifi
during a high speed pursuit
through downtown Loughton.
And earlier today during
a daylight bank robbery
here in downtown
Springfield, Schlomo and Fifi
killed another state
trooper, Joseph Swanson
and a civilian, Milton Wadams.
This brings the death toll to 19.
Six state troopers, five police officers,
seven civilians, and one local numbskull.
According to the police
there's already been
15 more people beaten and maimed
and there's a city wide ordinance
telling everyone to stay indoors.
(shattering glass)
I'm Ron Maroon and
I'll continue to bring...
Oh! Oh my.
(hooting and growling)
Oh, oh, shit! Oh!
(growling)
(Ron groaning)
(tense music)
This is not good.
This is not good!
Damn it, how come they couldn't
have just upgraded our equipment?
Then I wouldn't be stuck here.
I wouldn't be stuck here with you!
Trying to fix the universe with equipment
that doesn't even work!
Okay, well, what happened?
I mean, where are we?
Whose car are we in?
I don't know, Darren.
I don't know.
Okay, well, you can get us back, right?
I mean, we're in the right time period now?
We're where we're supposed to be?
I mean, you can still fix this, right?
You see, no, no, no.
Tyler, Tyler had the device
when he zapped the TV, okay?
Do you see Tyler anywhere around here?
We can't do anything without him.
Uh...
Zach.
No, no, no.
You see, you just, ya
just don't get it, do ya?
Okay, you see, I don't know
anything without the device.
I can't do anything without the device.
I can't help anyone without the device.
Okay, you see, I...
I don't know where we are.
I don't even know when we are, okay.
Does this compute with you?
Darren!
(gorilla grunting)
Is that the gorilla we were looking for?
(gunshots)
(sirens wailing)
(funky music)
Fifi, who are they?
[Together] Uh...
(screeching tires)
(funky music)
(screaming)
(funky music)
(screaming)
(screeching tires)
(screaming)
(crashing)
(sirens wailing)
(Zach retching)
(funky music)
(screeching tires)
Hey!
Freeze.
I said, freeze.
(tense music)
(grumbling)
(moaning)
Please.
(Zach gasping)
(gorilla growling)
(Darren whimpering)
("Ride of the Valkyries" by Wagner)
(whistling)
Ah!
("Ride of the Valkyries" continues)
No!
Sarge!
No!
(splashing)
(whooshing)
(screeching tires)
Have you been expecting me, per chance?
Why don't you hop in my mobile?
You must be the nerd.
Um, rude, I'm not a nerd.
I am simply an educated
professional, mm-kay.
Now you must be a DEMO man.
And as a DEMO man, you
are probably asking yourself,
how in the world did I find you here?
Well, the answer is very simple.
You see, I sussed you out at this very lot
by simply tracking your GCNPSES
and I sussed you out
to this very lot, mm-kay.
And also, if my calculations
are further correct,
I would go ahead and say you have a gorilla
and a Mr. Bozo clown
left to find for the day.
And oh, of course, myself.
Is this correct?
Yeah.
I also got 1099 and I'm missing
my friend, so take me there.
Yes, sir!
(screeching tires)
This is the spot.
Thanks, nerd.
Um, actually, I was
wondering if I could actually
maybe come with you?
No.
Poof.
(whooshing)
(funky music)
Ugh, do you really think this...
Shh.
Do you really think she's in here?
In a movie theater?
Oh, she's gotta be.
Excuse me.
Oh, excuse me.
So sorry.
Sorry.
Hey, guys, guys!
I love this movie.
Come on, come on.
(light music)
Hey, dude. Hey, hey.
What? What?
Do you mind?
No, not at all.
Perfect, thank you so much, man.
Just don't do too much.
Yeah.
Hey, do you mind?
No, not at all.
Aw, thank you.
Dude, what are you doing?
Hey, hey. Do you mind?
No.
Yeah.
What is going on here?
(Fifi growling)
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
(Fifi hooting)
Sorry, sorry.
(tense synth music)
Yeah!
What?
(thudding)
(smacking)
Ah!
(grunting)
Ha, ha.
(squeaking)
(gargling)
(grunting)
Get up, partner.
(clown whimpering)
(Fifi growling)
Uh... guys.
[Together] What!
(Fifi hooting)
(demo men groaning)
(tense synth music)
(Fifi growling)
(squeaking)
Ah!
(smacking)
(Fifi screeching)
(Darren shouting)
(clown cackling)
(Zach gagging)
(Fifi growling)
(Darren grunting)
(Fifi hooting)
(tense synth music)
(clown groaning)
(Tyler shouting)
(grunting)
(squelching)
(Zach screaming)
(popping)
(Tyler screaming)
(smacking)
(electronic whooshing)
(distorted synth music)
(electric buzzing)
(pinball machine dings)
(distorted speech)
(distorted sounds)
[Together] Darren!
Darren.
We messed up everything.
It is completely over.
-We messed up everything!
-The world is destroyed.
Look at his arm!
Look at my eye, dude.
Shut up!
We boned it. We
boned it really, really bad.
We need to go back.
Okay.
-Okay.
-Okay.
Okay, that's good.
Okay.
(light music)
All right, so how are we gonna get there?
Do we need my car? Do we need wheels?
Wheels?
Where we're going, we don't need wheels.
(thudding)
Sorry, one eye.
(upbeat electronic music)
I got it on lock
I'm racing the clock
With all that I've got
Because you already know
I got it on lock
I'm racing the clock
With all that I've got
Because you already know
(shimmering)
("Everywhere You Look"
instrumental playing)
Where's dad?
(giggling)
(funky music)
Full stop
Now I'm rearing to go
My eye vision is blurry
I'm in a hurry
So only
Real talk, my head's on the block
Chop, chop
Standing idle
This thing is vital
So guess I'll
Take off with the ignition
Keep up my monovision
Act like
I have the skills
But I don't
Get gone
You know I'm on it like
My job
Depends upon it like
I'm gone
If I don't got it, oh no
But you already know
I got it on lock
I'm racing the clock
With all that I've got
Because you already know
I've got it on lock
I'm racing the clock
With all that I've got
D-E-M-O-M-A-N
D-E-M-O-M-A-N
Because I'm a
D-E-M-O-M-A-N
D-E-M-O-M-A-N
Because I'm a
D-E-M-O-M-A-N
D-E-M-O-M-A-N
Because I'm a
D-E-M-O-M-A-N
D-E-M-O-M-A-N
N, N, N, N
I've got it on lock
I'm racing the clock
With all that I've got
Because you already know
I've got it on lock
I'm racing the clock
With all that I've got
Because you already know
D-E-M-O-M-A-N
(birds chirping)
(ethereal synth music)
(heavy breathing)
(grunting)
(groaning)
(snoring) (TV playing)
(farting)
(alarm beeping)
Huah!
(grunting)
(funky synth music)
Oh.
(funky music)
(sighing)
(funky music)
(light music)
Mm...
(chuckles)
(sipping)
Mm!
(smacking lips)
You can, uh, keep the change.
(funky music)
(screeching tires)
Get your ass in the car.
Finally.
Ah!
Smooth move, buddy.
Shut up.
Where are we going?
To the dawn of man.
Hell yeah.
(warbling)
(guttural shouting)
("Also sprach Zarathustra" by Strauss)
(flicking lighter)
("Also sprach Zarathustra" continues)
(man hooting)
(guttural chanting)
Ah!
(electronic beeping)
(electronic whooshing)
(squishing)
Heh, heh, heh.
Hey, check this out. Check this out.
Heh, heh.
(smacking)
Ha, nice.
(electronic whooshing)
(funky music)
It's every damn time they come.
(grumbling)
I'm gonna get 'em.
You! You!
Get!
(sighs)
(mumbling)
Do you even know why we're here?
No.
Not a single idea?
No.
Really? Look around.
It's empty!
Why are we here on a Saturday? Nothing?
Well, let's take a look
down memory lane, huh?
Let's see... oh!
Hey, let's check out what's
behind door number one.
Look at this.
Why we can't turn left on red lights.
Worshtesh, ware, warsh..
Worcestershire.
Whatever.
And the Pabst cases.
This case is gonna be a lot harder
to solve than your last, okay?
You leaving the Pabst has set
this timeline back 6,000 months.
Now I've gotta go back and fix it myself.
Look at 'em.
Over the last three days they're hammered,
got tattoos, and somehow found an Old Navy
and bought khakis.
This was your strike three, okay.
I'm sorry, but I should
be letting you guys go.
But let's be honest, if
you're gone, I'm gone.
And I can't be gone.
I can't get another job.
They won't let me back, okay?
Right now I'm kinda like a rat cornered.
Okay, I'm out here, I'm in the corner.
I'm gonna find my way.
And let's be honest, guys,
if it's between me or you,
I'm gonna drive over you, okay, all right?
I'm gonna mow you right on over, okay?
-Jesus.
-All right?
But one thing about me is I'm always
gonna find my way out.
Even if I have to chew
through the damn drywall,
I'm gonna find my way out.
And I think I found our
golden ticket, Charlie.
Okay, I've got three simple jobs.
I've got a TV stuck in
the Medieval Ages, okay?
It's guarded by this
Triclops that was outcasted
by the community for
just shouting profanities.
I've got a Bozo clown and a killer gorilla
going around just murdering people,
saying whatever the heck they want.
I don't like that! Get them out!
And there's a nerd.
Anyway, they're all on the same planet.
We've gotta get it done
by the end of the day.
This is the perfect opportunity
to get your jobs back, okay?
Okay.
I've got your device, pre-programmed,
all three are on here.
You click the button, you
get in, you zap 'em out.
You go on to the next,
you click the button,
ya zap 'em, you go out and ya...
-Zach.
-This sucks.
It's a piece of crap, I know.
Okay, gentle hands with it, please, okay?
This is as simple as it can be.
There's no way you can mess this up.
You think you can handle this?
-Yeah.
-Aye-aye!
Aye... uh, yeah.
Yeah.
Let's, let's go.
And boys, don't mess this up.
(electronic beeping)
(funky music)
See ya.
(funky music)
(farting)
(funky music)
(screaming)
(screeching tires)
Ah!
I just got hit by a car.
Oh my god, oh my god.
Ah!
I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry!
Do you know what you've done?
No, I don't know, I...
You guys came outta nowhere!
-Sir, are you all right?
-The device is broken!
Did you break it?
You broke it!
You broke it!
I broke his leg? Oh my god, I'm so sorry.
Oh, look over there!
What?
Look, we need to get this guy's car.
Yeah, and we should
also probably kill him.
Why?
Because he clearly knows too much.
You dumb ass.
(grunting)
That's not gonna work for me, boys!
Not one bit!
Homer, Marge, scoot it!
I've been mapping out
this route for three months
and I swear if I'm off by one inch,
it throws my whole thing off.
You and your Looney Tunes squad,
they can head on out of here, okay?
Hey, is everything okay?
Why are you in yellow?
What's going on?
Who am I?
(tense synth music)
Oh my god.
There's no need to fear.
I am Zach.
And I am Tyler.
[Together] And we...
Are stealing your car.
Sorry about your face.
Wait, who are you?
You guys can't take my car.
Look, do you have any
idea how important you are?
You are not.
So why don't you stay out of our way,
before I make you eat your damn car keys.
Wait, what?
No, that's not happening.
What are you talking about?
First of all, you punched
me and now you're going
to take my car?
You hit us with your car!
And you broke our device.
You came out of
nowhere in your yellow suits!
I don't have time!
Hey, I'm filing a police report.
(groaning)
What do you want?
I don't know, my car?
An explanation?
Oh, he wants an explanation!
We're the DEMO men.
Department of Energy
and Matter Organization.
And we're trying to fix the universe.
Yes, which we currently can't do
because you broke our device
whenever you, oh, ho, ho!
Hit us with your car!
We can still do the job, we
just can't teleport anywhere.
That's right.
Which is why we're stealing your car.
Okay, still none of this makes sense,
but I am telling you right now,
you are not taking my
car anywhere without me.
Ugh! We don't have time for this!
Let's just take him with us.
Fine, but you're getting in the trunk.
On your left!
(light music)
(crunching)
Wait, this is Lost Hill.
Yeah, it used to be.
Now it's the middle ages.
Okay, well what about the port a potties
and the park signs and stuff?
That's probably where
the time bubble ends.
So they probably can't see those things.
Yeah, right now to
them it just looks like
some big, grandiose field.
Okay, well, if we walk into this bubble,
what about our clothes?
Won't we look weird to them?
Yeah, I mean probably for a little bit,
but then the universe will reset
and they'll forget it and
everything will be fine.
Yeah, that's not the point.
The point is we go in,
get the TV, get out, boom.
Yeah, you see physical
objects, they cannot be reset.
So that's why we have a job.
We go in, grab the object, then we leave
and the day is done.
Everyone forgets it, it's fine.
What?
Do you know what deja vu is?
Well, I...
Dumb ass!
Deja vu is when you know something,
but then you don't know
it, so everything's fine
when you think about it later.
What?
No, no, deja vu is when you ask yourself,
hm, hasn't this happened to me before?
And usually, it hasn't.
But in this case, it has.
The universe just makes us forget.
Dumb ass.
Dumb ass.
-Are you ready to go?
-Yes.
Are you ready to go?
No.
[Together] That's the spirit.
(dramatic music)
(light music)
(sighing)
So, if you'll follow me through here,
you will see that we have a lovely
flooring throughout the home.
Okay guys, now, follow me this way.
The flooring perfectly compliments
this beautiful wall right here.
Now, take a look at this wall.
Feel it, feel it.
Each and every pebble and
fossil hand forged in Germany.
Have you been to
Germany? It's really lovely.
-No.
-It really is.
Now, I'm thinking
that this area right here
could be perfect for a
kid's bedroom, or storage,
or even, I don't maybe a nursery.
I mean, I don't wanna
pull any strings or anything.
Wah, da, da, da, da, da.
We are not raising our child...
Shh.
This is home.
Oh, I'm so glad you feel that way.
What!
How?
I'm feeling it too.
-We're gonna take it.
-Wait, no, no, no.
No, no, we haven't even talked about this.
Now, if you'll follow me this way,
I'd like to show you some
more features of the shack, okay.
Now look at this wall right here.
This wall is perfectly
accented by the flooring.
Each and every pebble handcrafted
and forged from Germany.
Have you been to Germany?
No!
It's quite lovely, you
should go and visit.
And the lovely skylight
in these windows, Edith,
are perfect for letting daylight through.
Skylight?
There is no roof!
You understand me? No roof!
Skylight?
We are not buying this house.
Yes we are!
No, we are not.
Think of my baby.
I am.
(Edith grunting)
Oh my god.
(dramatic drumming)
Wizards?
(dramatic drumming)
Wizards, oh shit.
(dramatic drumming)
They'll be the one's
Milthorn is waiting for.
(dramatic drumming)
Milthorn the high wizard?
(dramatic drumming)
We're gonna continue
this search another time,
but right now I have other
matters to attend to, I'm afraid.
(Edith groaning)
Wait, sirs! Wizards.
Behind you.
Wait, wait, wait!
Sirs, I am at your humble service.
Me being a lowly real estate peasant
and you being high wizards of grandeur.
Are you here to see Milthorn the great
and powerful wizard of the land?
We are, yeah.
Oh yeah, have you seen any magical items?
Oh, I don't think so.
I do remember Milthorn mentioning...
Milthorn! Where is Milthorn?
Yes, where is Milthorn?
Oh, I couldn't tell you, I...
(whooshing)
I...
(farting)
Am here.
Ye be strangers to this land and me.
Who are you?
I am Benedict, the real
estate peasant, at your service.
Don't touch me.
Yes, sir.
Who are you?
I am the great wizard of Waverly Place.
Oh, oh yes.
Uh...
I am Chris Angel, mind freak.
Nice to meet you.
What about you?
-Me?
-Yeah, you.
Who are you?
Uh...
My name is...
Come on.
Darren.
(grimacing)
Darren?
What do you want?
We're looking for a magical item.
Hmm.
It's kind of long.
Mm-hm.
About ye big.
Oh, yes. I've heard of this magic item.
It is one that has caused a
great disturbance in my land.
You seek the magic
box with a face like water.
Yeah, that's probably it.
That's probably it, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
But I must warn ye.
This magic item has attracted the attention
of a foul beast which guards the cave
in which the item now rests.
Okay.
Yet, you still wish to retrieve the item?
Yeah.
Yup.
There may be other dangers we encounter
on the path to the cave.
Horrible things.
Angry goblins.
Mean tempered trolls.
And other malfeasances.
Yeah.
Yup, just...
-Yep, let's go.
-Let's go do it.
It will be a medium length journey.
One that may cause you to break a sweat.
Yet, you still wish to proceed?
Yeah.
Yup.
Fine.
Let's go.
(triumphant music)
(triumphant music continues)
(groaning)
Benedict?
Oh, there you guys are.
What are you doing here?
Well, I was taking a shortcut
and then I fell down and,
uh, I can't close my hands.
Okay, that's enough, let's go.
(triumphant music)
Wait, wait, wait.
Don't take another step.
Or else I'm gonna...
I'm...
I'm gonna...
I... I'm gonna eat you.
Really?
Yeah, I'm gonna eat you.
I'm gonna put you in my mouth.
You are gonna eat us?
You're gonna put us in your mouth?
Yeah, orally speaking.
Okay.
I'm sorry, aren't you just like a guy?
Uh...
A guy?
No.
I'm a Triclops. Three eyes.
Tri, three clops.
Clops.
Do you have a problem with that?
(laughing)
-Where?
-Right.
Where is it? Where's
your third eye, buddy?
Yeah?
I'll believe it when I see it.
Okay, I...
I didn't know I was outing
myself, but it's right here.
Oh god!
Oh man! Ah!
Ah!
What?
What is so wrong?
What is the problem?
Put it away!
What was that?
[Triclops] It's my eye, you
said you wanted to see it.
Okay, look, look, look, look.
We are just looking for a TV.
What is that?
A television set.
What is that?
It's about... it's about ye big.
Ye wide.
Ye big... wide.
Okay, I'm not sure what ye is.
Oh, no, but the thing that like emits light
and you like watch things, programming?
[Zach] Yeah.
Some would say television?
[Zach] Yeah.
That is not in there.
Not in there.
Do not go in there.
It's not in there.
I'm sorry, I'm gonna regret asking.
Do all cyclops have an eye on their ass?
Okay, you will regret asking that.
No, okay.
Yeah, not everybody has
an eye on their ass, okay?
Usually it's on the forehead.
What is so wrong with that?
Well, is it...
I mean, is it like a condition?
Yeah, it's a...
You know, some have said
a genetic disorder, okay?
Do you see like a... do
you see a doctor for it?
A doctor?
Like a... like a triclops doctor?
Like, oh, let me get checked out.
Let me go see the triclops doctor.
No! That's not a thing.
Why would that be a thing?
Well, I'm just wondering, like,
do you ever get a little bit of lint
or something in the eye?
That... that's true.
Okay, that's the first true thing you've...
(whooshing)
You know, it's a...
It's a bummer about your TV, man.
But you know what?
I'll bet that chick Vanessa
took it though, man.
She was like so upset at
you last week when you...
When you called her Vicky last week, man.
She probably took that
thing just to like, uh...
Like, spite you, man.
Yeah, man, it's a bummer, man.
But my parents said they got like a TV
that we can borrow, man.
So, once...
Once we get that, we'll
be back in business, man.
(ethereal music)
I think need to lay off.
Hey!
Ha, ha.
You found your TV, man.
Thanks.
And I have a notoriously sweaty ass.
We got the TV.
Okay, see ya.
Wait.
Cyclops.
No, come back.
Come...
Come back.
I love you.
Hey, guys, I'm sorry.
So, was that it?
Like, we saved the day or whatever?
Yes, we got all three
jobs done for the day.
Mister smarty Darren!
You did it, buddy.
Really?
-No.
-Stupid.
We've still got two jobs left.
But that wasn't bad, right, fellas?
(crunching)
Oh fu...
What's this?
[Cameraman] Are you ready?
Three, two, one, action.
Good afternoon, Springfield.
This is Ron Maroon live
from downtown reporting
on the bloody crime spree
that started a week ago today.
Last Monday Richard Sicko,
AKA Schlomo the Clown
and his pet gorilla Fifi pulled
off a daring daylight escape
from Farnham and Hailey Circus.
Resulting in the death of four
Loughton law enforcement officers.
And this man, Lawrence
Quinn, a local numbskull
who was run over by Schlomo and Fifi
during a high speed pursuit
through downtown Loughton.
And earlier today during
a daylight bank robbery
here in downtown
Springfield, Schlomo and Fifi
killed another state
trooper, Joseph Swanson
and a civilian, Milton Wadams.
This brings the death toll to 19.
Six state troopers, five police officers,
seven civilians, and one local numbskull.
According to the police
there's already been
15 more people beaten and maimed
and there's a city wide ordinance
telling everyone to stay indoors.
(shattering glass)
I'm Ron Maroon and
I'll continue to bring...
Oh! Oh my.
(hooting and growling)
Oh, oh, shit! Oh!
(growling)
(Ron groaning)
(tense music)
This is not good.
This is not good!
Damn it, how come they couldn't
have just upgraded our equipment?
Then I wouldn't be stuck here.
I wouldn't be stuck here with you!
Trying to fix the universe with equipment
that doesn't even work!
Okay, well, what happened?
I mean, where are we?
Whose car are we in?
I don't know, Darren.
I don't know.
Okay, well, you can get us back, right?
I mean, we're in the right time period now?
We're where we're supposed to be?
I mean, you can still fix this, right?
You see, no, no, no.
Tyler, Tyler had the device
when he zapped the TV, okay?
Do you see Tyler anywhere around here?
We can't do anything without him.
Uh...
Zach.
No, no, no.
You see, you just, ya
just don't get it, do ya?
Okay, you see, I don't know
anything without the device.
I can't do anything without the device.
I can't help anyone without the device.
Okay, you see, I...
I don't know where we are.
I don't even know when we are, okay.
Does this compute with you?
Darren!
(gorilla grunting)
Is that the gorilla we were looking for?
(gunshots)
(sirens wailing)
(funky music)
Fifi, who are they?
[Together] Uh...
(screeching tires)
(funky music)
(screaming)
(funky music)
(screaming)
(screeching tires)
(screaming)
(crashing)
(sirens wailing)
(Zach retching)
(funky music)
(screeching tires)
Hey!
Freeze.
I said, freeze.
(tense music)
(grumbling)
(moaning)
Please.
(Zach gasping)
(gorilla growling)
(Darren whimpering)
("Ride of the Valkyries" by Wagner)
(whistling)
Ah!
("Ride of the Valkyries" continues)
No!
Sarge!
No!
(splashing)
(whooshing)
(screeching tires)
Have you been expecting me, per chance?
Why don't you hop in my mobile?
You must be the nerd.
Um, rude, I'm not a nerd.
I am simply an educated
professional, mm-kay.
Now you must be a DEMO man.
And as a DEMO man, you
are probably asking yourself,
how in the world did I find you here?
Well, the answer is very simple.
You see, I sussed you out at this very lot
by simply tracking your GCNPSES
and I sussed you out
to this very lot, mm-kay.
And also, if my calculations
are further correct,
I would go ahead and say you have a gorilla
and a Mr. Bozo clown
left to find for the day.
And oh, of course, myself.
Is this correct?
Yeah.
I also got 1099 and I'm missing
my friend, so take me there.
Yes, sir!
(screeching tires)
This is the spot.
Thanks, nerd.
Um, actually, I was
wondering if I could actually
maybe come with you?
No.
Poof.
(whooshing)
(funky music)
Ugh, do you really think this...
Shh.
Do you really think she's in here?
In a movie theater?
Oh, she's gotta be.
Excuse me.
Oh, excuse me.
So sorry.
Sorry.
Hey, guys, guys!
I love this movie.
Come on, come on.
(light music)
Hey, dude. Hey, hey.
What? What?
Do you mind?
No, not at all.
Perfect, thank you so much, man.
Just don't do too much.
Yeah.
Hey, do you mind?
No, not at all.
Aw, thank you.
Dude, what are you doing?
Hey, hey. Do you mind?
No.
Yeah.
What is going on here?
(Fifi growling)
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
(Fifi hooting)
Sorry, sorry.
(tense synth music)
Yeah!
What?
(thudding)
(smacking)
Ah!
(grunting)
Ha, ha.
(squeaking)
(gargling)
(grunting)
Get up, partner.
(clown whimpering)
(Fifi growling)
Uh... guys.
[Together] What!
(Fifi hooting)
(demo men groaning)
(tense synth music)
(Fifi growling)
(squeaking)
Ah!
(smacking)
(Fifi screeching)
(Darren shouting)
(clown cackling)
(Zach gagging)
(Fifi growling)
(Darren grunting)
(Fifi hooting)
(tense synth music)
(clown groaning)
(Tyler shouting)
(grunting)
(squelching)
(Zach screaming)
(popping)
(Tyler screaming)
(smacking)
(electronic whooshing)
(distorted synth music)
(electric buzzing)
(pinball machine dings)
(distorted speech)
(distorted sounds)
[Together] Darren!
Darren.
We messed up everything.
It is completely over.
-We messed up everything!
-The world is destroyed.
Look at his arm!
Look at my eye, dude.
Shut up!
We boned it. We
boned it really, really bad.
We need to go back.
Okay.
-Okay.
-Okay.
Okay, that's good.
Okay.
(light music)
All right, so how are we gonna get there?
Do we need my car? Do we need wheels?
Wheels?
Where we're going, we don't need wheels.
(thudding)
Sorry, one eye.
(upbeat electronic music)
I got it on lock
I'm racing the clock
With all that I've got
Because you already know
I got it on lock
I'm racing the clock
With all that I've got
Because you already know
(shimmering)
("Everywhere You Look"
instrumental playing)
Where's dad?
(giggling)
(funky music)
Full stop
Now I'm rearing to go
My eye vision is blurry
I'm in a hurry
So only
Real talk, my head's on the block
Chop, chop
Standing idle
This thing is vital
So guess I'll
Take off with the ignition
Keep up my monovision
Act like
I have the skills
But I don't
Get gone
You know I'm on it like
My job
Depends upon it like
I'm gone
If I don't got it, oh no
But you already know
I got it on lock
I'm racing the clock
With all that I've got
Because you already know
I've got it on lock
I'm racing the clock
With all that I've got
D-E-M-O-M-A-N
D-E-M-O-M-A-N
Because I'm a
D-E-M-O-M-A-N
D-E-M-O-M-A-N
Because I'm a
D-E-M-O-M-A-N
D-E-M-O-M-A-N
Because I'm a
D-E-M-O-M-A-N
D-E-M-O-M-A-N
N, N, N, N
I've got it on lock
I'm racing the clock
With all that I've got
Because you already know
I've got it on lock
I'm racing the clock
With all that I've got
Because you already know
D-E-M-O-M-A-N