Der Mondmann (2012) Movie Script

That was incredible!
Yes. It was incredible.
Daddy, we have to watch
it again sometime! Can we?
Yeah, why not tomorrow?
Look at the moon, Daddy!
It's the Moon Man!
There are lots of moons!
And on each one there's
a different Moon Man.
No way! There is only one moon.
And it's always the same one.
No! There are lots
of different ones.
And nobody lives
on the moon. Nobody!
They do! Look!
Did you see him, Laika?
He's waking up!
Who's waking up?
The Moon Man.
Enough of this childishness!
It's high time you went to sleep!
But I haven't even
had any dinner!
Stop it. That's enough!
It's time to sleep.
Move over.
Night after night,
the Moon Man
spent his time curled
up in his silver seat.
Being all alone,
his life on the moon had
become dreadfully boring.
If only once, just once,
he had something to do.
Dear subjects!
As you can see for yourselves,
you see that the entire
world has been conquered,
except for a tiny little speck of land.
But that,
my dear subjects, was yesterday,
because this morning
I finally conquered the last
remaining part of the earth.
And now the entire world
is completely conquered!
Bravo! All praise the President!
Long live the President!
Wonderful! Fantastic!
Phenomenal! Marvellous!
Of course, it's only right and proper.
Many thanks.
Congratulations, Mr President.
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
You know,
it's not worth mentioning.
The entire world is at your feet:
what is left for you to conquer?
Something new always emerges
beyond every horizon.
I felt a great inner urge to say it.
And if you've understood,
then so much the better.
No, no, it's really not worth mentioning.
Mr. President,
just look at the moon!
It's so old, yet so new.
For he who has conquered the
whole world, all that remains is...
The moon.
No man has ever
conquered the moon.
A shooting star! Make a wish.
That's one small step for a man,
one giant leap for mankind.
Red alert! Red Alert! Attack!
Out of my way!
Get back! Off with you!
That's impossible! It cannot be!
We have conquered everything.
We have no more enemies!
See for yourself, Mr President.
We are being attached by an alien planet!
Run! Everyone take cover!
Me first!
Out of my way.
Off with you. Stand back!
It's just an empty crater.
Most regrettable!
As if that were of
no significance!
It's an empty crater, after all!
Whatever that extra-terrestrial
fireball was, there is nothing.
Nothing! Ha-ha-ha! Nothing! Ha.
And what, may I ask, is this?
Is this what you call 'nothing'?
Well, whoever or whatever it was,
they've gone.
Of course they've gone!
Anyone plotting mischief would not
wait around here for us to turn up.
Hurry, after them! Follow the trail.
Capture those cowardly intruders!
Mr President,
there is nothing to be found here.
The trail vanishes without trace.
Are you suggesting that the
invaders have vanished into air?
Scour the whole earth
until you find them!
At your command, Mr President!
Scour the whole earth!
One scoop? Two scoops?
Three scoops? In a cone? In a tub?
A scoop?
No. A ball. A fireball!
If the intruders came to
earth on a fireball, then...
...then I can go to the moon
on a fireball. Yes that's it!
That's how I can
conquer the moon!
Have a good flight!
Come and dance with us!
You've got a really
cool costume.
Excuse the interruption.
There are invaders. Intruders. Attackers.
An invasion.
Please do not panic.
Everybody remain calm.
Hey, you there! The party's over.
You can go home now. But watch out.
There are intruders on earth.
From another planet.
Hey! Hello! Wake up!
Time to go home!
Go... home...
Is there anything to report?
Searched the Southern and the
Northern hemispheres. No intruders.
Then search the Eastern
and Western hemispheres!
At your command, Mr President!
Good idea Mr President!
Yes, the one with the
best ideas is still... me!
Talking of ideas:
Who can build me a fireball?
A fireball?
Yes, I need a man-made fireball
with which I can conquer the moon.
A man-made fireball?
Who could build such a thing?
Yes, who could
build such a thing?
The only one who could create something
like that would be Bunsen van der Dunkel.
Bunsen van der Dunkel?
Never heard of him.
If he's even still alive, that is...
Bunsen van der Dunkel! Of course!
The inventor of everything!
It's a good thing
I thought of him!
Very good, Mr President!
Good idea, Mr President!
Doctor Bunsen van der Dunkel
was a genius.
After researching,
inventing and
discovering everything...
literally everything on earth,
he had begun to grow bored.
And living all alone,
he grew so bored,
that one day he fell asleep.
For hundreds of years,
he sank into obscurity.
But since he never died,
he still sleeps soundly
to this very day.
Shh! Quiet!
Mmm, yummy!
Are you crazy?
Not all at once!
It'll give you a tummy ache.
He's gone!
What? Who's gone?
The Moon Man!
Now you are dreaming with your
eyes open. Lie down and get to sleep.
Oh, Daddy!
Come on. Enough silliness.
It's really time you went to sleep.
You never believe what I say!
Got to sleep my baby
Close your pretty eyes
Angels up above you
Watching every moment from the sky.
The Moon Man has gone.
The Moon Man has gone.
Have you seen the Moon Man?
Where have you gone,
dear Moon Man?
Great big moon is shining
Stars begin to peep
Now it's time for little children
To go to sleep
Do you think he'll
ever come back, Laika?
Come on, come on!
Did the bell just ring?
I must have nodded off.
Visitors? That's never
happened before. Never!
Oh dear. Oh dear.
He who rests surely rusts.
Does he think I have
all the time in the world?
Most regrettable!
Do I have to do
everything myself?
Good idea, Mr President!
Is anyone home?
Mr Bunsen?
Mr Bunsen van der Dunkel!
I hereby award you the Gold Medal
of the Academy of Sciences.
It is undeniably
long overdue...
- for such a... a...
lifetime achievement. - I... er...
Yes, you are the greatest
genius of all time!
We are all very proud of you!
Yes, but... Er... Well...
Who are you?
Who? Me? What kind of question is that!
What impudence!
Ah, yes. Of course. I understand.
You live on the dark side
of the moon, as it were.
I am the President of the earth,
the Northern and Southern hemispheres,
as well as the Eastern
and Western hemispheres.
I see. How nice.
That's absolutely wonderful.
How can I ever thank you?
Oh, there is absolutely no need at all.
You earned it.
I wish I could offer you something,
but I don't have anything here.
I wasn't expecting visitors.
I'm always alone here.
All the better! My motto is:
Alone, a man can work faster!
Yes, you're right.
Except that when you're too fast,
you soon run out of things to do.
That's what happened to me.
Nothing else to do?
I'll bet there are still things
you haven't yet researched,
places you haven't discovered,
inventions you haven't yet invented.
No. Not that I know of.
How about a man-made fireball
on which to fly to the moon?
That's not possible!
That is an absolutely preposterous idea!
Never in a million years!
So you're not a genius! Then
give me back the medal. This instant!
Wait a moment!
A man-made fireball?
To the moon?
Well... It might work.
How about if we
call it a "rocket"?
"Rocket"? Sounds good.
It could work!
But it's risky.
I'm too old to fly.
I am prepared to sacrifice myself
for the benefit of science.
And you?
Will you accept the challenge?
I can certainly give it a try.
Mr Bunsen, you are a genius.
You're a man I can rely on.
Mr President, between you and me,
this is the first time in my life
that someone has asked
me to invent something.
You see? There is always something
new to discover. Now, get to work!
And when you're ready,
give me a call.
What is this?
My mobile. A telephone.
Ah, yes. I remember now:
The speaking telegraph!
I invented that too.
- Only, it won't work without a cable.
- Oh, it will.
- See you soon!
- Yes, see you soon!
And that President fellow
is such a nice man.
It seems there really are inventions
that I've not yet invented!
What's that?
What is this?
Strange. I've never seen
anything like it. How curious.
Yet another discovery.
What a crazy day this is!
So, let's examine this unknown
phenomenon a little more closely.
1.53 metres.
Just a moment. They must be stuck.
Well, after such a long time...
There you go.
They work. Good as new.
0.0 kilograms. Very odd. Very, very odd.
Very odd indeed!
Very odd. Very odd indeed!
Keep still. Quiet!
No systole. No diastole.
No pulse whatsoever!
That's just not possible!
It works perfectly.
Now, let's see.
Just stand there.
Don't move around. Hold your breath.
Oh, what's got stuck now?
Still nothing? I don't understand.
No bones, no organs, no genes.
Nothing. I don't get it.
Go... home...
You can talk?
What a strange phenomenon!
I've come across
this kind of thing...
somewhere before,
but I just can't remember where.
Where does the night actually
go when it's daytime?
The night sleeps during the daytime;
and the day sleeps when it's night time.
And where does the moon
go when it's daytime?
The moon? Well, it orbits the earth.
But when the sun is shining,
like now, you can't see it,
or you can only see it very faintly.
But I can't see it at all.
Then it's full moon.
And where is the Moon Man?
Next question!
No. Other way around.
No. Other way around.
Me. Bunsen.
You. Phenomenon.
You. Phenomenon.
Me. Bunsen.
No. Other way around.
No. Other way around.
Car. Vroom. Vroom.
Car. Vroom. Vroom.
Flower. Vroom. Vroom.
No, other way around!
No? Other way around?
Very good.
I think that's enough for today.
Let's continue tomorrow.
I can't see you, Moon Man!
Where are you, Moon Man?
Where has the
Moon Man gone?
I'm so tired.
I just can't sleep.
Can you see the Moon Man?
I can't sleep without
the Moon Man.
Moon Man. Where are you?
Is there anything to report?
Firstly, the extra-terrestrial intruders
have not yet been apprehended.
Heavens above!
Could you perhaps make an effort?
Do I have to do
everything myself?
Secondly, the children...
What about the children? They love me.
They want to celebrate me.
They can go ahead.
No. It seems they can't sleep anymore.
All they keep talking about is...
Oh, there's no need for the children
to be afraid, tell them that!
I shall chase off those
troublesome children, er, intruders.
And I'll take care
of it personally!
No, that's not the issue.
Then what is?
Well, they're saying that the...
Moon Man... is no longer there and...
that he doesn't watch
over them anymore.
Who? What nonsense! Hahahahha...
the Moon... The Moon Man? Hahhahhha...
Yes, I know, hahaha. The Moon Man!
Who would believe such a thing?
Forget the children.
But, talking of the moon...
What's that old madman up to?
Put me through to him!
At your command, Mr President!
I'll do it right away Mr President.
Good morning,
my dear Mr Bunsen!
Er.. Mr President?
There's no cable attached but
I can hear you nonetheless!
It's incredible!
I wanted ask how my
rocket is coming along.
Oh. Yes, right. The rocket.
I'll get to work on it right away.
Get to work on it?
I thought you'd be finished by now!
No. Something came up.
A completely new discovery!
An unknown phenomenon.
You'll be amazed!
A strange being that...
The intruders! The extra-terrestrials!
Be on your guard, Bunsen.
Stay where you are.
I'm on my way.
I told you so!
I'm going to catch them!
Very good, Mr President!
Good idea, Mr President!
Hello? Mr President?
Tell me,
where do you come from?
From the moon?
I think I must be dreaming.
Of course! You are the Moon Man.
Now I remember where I know you from!
As a child I used to look up at
the sky every night and see you.
You did?
I must be going
soft in the head!
I inspect you all over
and don't even ask
where you come from!
From the moon. Moon Man.
Not a phenomenon.
Of course! I simply can't believe it!
Where have you been all this time?
I've always been there,
up in the sky.
How come I lost
sight of you, then?
The President!
They're coming!
Oh my goodness!
Now what am I going to do?
Moon Man, come with me!
In here! Keep still!
And not a peep!
Ah, Mr President...
Where are the intruders?
Er, escaped...
What are you talking about?
I was just about to
examine the phenomenon,
but then he escaped.
The Moon Man.
Moon Man? Don't you start with
that Moon Man nonsense too!
Yes, the phenomenon comes from the Moon.
I didn't realize at first...
but you see, here...
I examined it thoroughly,
and then I realized.
What a discovery! And I thought
I'd discovered everything long ago!
From the moon, of all places!
Very well. This will make my voyage
to the moon even more exciting.
I need that rocket! You have to hurry up!
I have to strike back at the Moon Men!
The fate of the earth is at stake!
Can I really rely on you? My friend?
Er... yes. Certainly.
I hope so.
The fool let the extra-terrestrial
intruders escape.
Most regrettable.
The search must continue.
At least we now know what they look like,
and where they come from.
Very good Mr President!
Good idea Mr President!
Phew. It's cramped.
I'm sorry. I couldn't think of a better
way out of the predicament.
Who was that?
A friend.
What is a friend?
I don't really know myself.
But you can give me a hand now.
I have to invent something for my friend.
What does 'invent' mean?
We interrupt this programme
to bring you this news flash:
The President has again
achieved a great triumph!
The extra-terrestrial invaders
have been identified:
They come from the moon! But beware
there is still a danger to human life!
Daddy, what will happen if the
extra-terrestrials get hold of us?
What will happen?
We'll just drive off!
The Moon Man!
Beautiful! What is it?
You... Moon Man!
Stay where you are!
Watch out, Bunsen!
Out of my way! Stand back!
Don't hurt him!
He isn't dangerous!
The Moon Man is dangerous!
Believe me, he is not dangerous.
You have no idea! And anyway,
what's he doing here?
He is... er...
he came back again.
Came back again?
Yes, he's harmless. He even
helped me to build the rocket.
Hahahaha. The Moon Man helped you
to build my rocket, so that I can go
to the moon and oust the Moon Men?
How did you manage that?
you really are a genius!
Er... well, hm...
Rocket? To the moon?
To home?!?!
No! My moon!
Stop! Wait!
Moon Man!
Come back! Oh dear!
He won't come back! But don't worry,
I'll still catch that rascal.
And you! You are going to finish
building that confounded rocket,
otherwise our friendship is over!
I can't believe it! That fool has
let the Moon Man escape again!
Most regrettable!
Hey, look!
I must be dreaming!
It's the Moon Man!
He's just wearing a costume!
He was the one at the party.
No, it's the Moon Man!
It's really him!
Moon Man?
Are you the Moon Man?
No, I am the Earth Man.
No. You are the Moon Man.
I know, I know it's you!
What are you doing
down here on earth?
Oh, it's so nice that
you've come back.
We couldn't sleep anymore.
We need you.
We really need you.
Now you have to stay
with us for ever.
No, the Moon Man belongs
up there on the moon.
On the moon?
Then you'll be there
for all of us.
Yes. Me.
Your Moon Man.
Well my little friend. Have a comfortable
stay. In your new home!
Hahahahaha. Sleep well!
So, my good man.
Have you slept well?
Stay back! Don't get too close!
You are on my earth!
What are you doing here?
I was so bored on the moon.
Bored? On the moon?
And you couldn't think of anything
better to do than attack planet earth?
A comet flew past,
and I caught a lift.
I don't believe a word of it!
It was a planned attack.
But now I've caught you,
and I'll get the others too.
- Others?
- Yes.
I'll defeat the entire moon army.
There aren't any others.
I'm alone.
Yes, alone.
That's why I was so bored.
I can't believe it! Alone!
Children, the path is clear!
The moon is mine!
Esteemed ladies and gentlemen!
My dear subjects!
You can breathe
a sigh of relief.
The earth has been saved. I have put
the dangerous intruder behind bars.
Do not fear.
I have rendered him harmless.
It was a tough battle,
but he no longer poses a danger to us.
He doesn't, but all his comrades
are waiting to take over the earth.
I shall beat them to it!
I shall defeat them all
and conquer the moon!
One small step for me,
but a giant leap for mankind!
And a small announcement for
the younger spectators out there:
You don't need to be sad much longer.
Soon I will be on the moon.
Then you'll have him back again:
your Moon Man. Me! Isn't that wonderful?
But I am the Moon Man...
He has locked up the Moon Man!
Simply put him behind bars.
You can't just lock up the Moon Man!
That goes against the laws of nature!
And I won't allow that lout to make
the moon his subject, either!
One small step for a man,
a giant leap for me.
Now look at that: children!
Up so late?
Shouldn't you be in bed by now?
In my day,
children had to be in bed...
We can't sleep.
To fall asleep, you have to lie in bed,
not hang around on the streets.
I don't want to fall asleep.
If I do, I'll have nightmares.
You see, that's what comes
of all those robber stories!
No, it's because
we feel so alone.
So alone? Don't make me laugh!
I can see seven children here!
And who knows how many
children there are on earth by now!
Alone? I don't believe you.
And it's because the
grown-ups don't believe us.
What is it you want
them to believe?
That we really miss the Moon Man.
The Moon Man? I believe you.
I miss him too.
I've lost him,
and now I'm looking for him.
He was here.
He'd hardly arrived here,
then he was gone again.
They took him away!
Took him away? How awful!
The countdown is running.
I can hardly wait.
I can hardly wait either.
To go where no other
man has gone before.
Sorry to disappoint you,
but I'm not unknown territory.
To be the first!
As if that were important!
Even when you reach
the end of the universe
there is always
something more to conquer.
That's right. There is always
something to conquer.
This is how Columbus must
have felt before Manhattan,
Napoleon before Moscow,
or Garibaldi before... the biscuits.
Or Ceasar sailing with Cleopatra.
Say, Daddy, all children know
where babies come from,
but where do
grown-ups come from?
Yes, me.
Watch out!
Dangerous extra-terrestrial intruder.
No, you're not an intruder.
You are the Moon Man.
Yes, I am the Moon Man,
but your friend the President
wants to take my moon away from me.
He is not my friend.
I am not very good at making friends.
I don't know how it works.
I've never really had a friend before.
I didn't know the President before.
He came to me out of the blue and
told me that I was his friend.
But I was mistaken. He's not my friend.
He just wanted to use me.
And I forgot all about you, though
actually you are my old, new, friend.
Your friend?
What does it mean to be a friend?
I think a friend is someone who is
always there for you; who helps you.
A friend is like home.
I want to go home.
My home is your home.
No, the moon is my home.
I want to be there for
all the people on earth.
But I can help you get home.
- You can?
- Yes, with the rocket.
With the rocket?
What can I do to get
you out of here?
I can manage that on my own.
Be patient.
Daddy, have you noticed
that the moon is melting?
The Moon can't melt.
It's made of stone.
What's there?
There was something there.
There was!
It was the Moon Man.
The Moon Man?
Oh but Daddy, he doesn't even exist.
I don't believe you.
He does! I saw him!
It was the Moon Man.
It's been so long,
but now I remember him again.
Moon Man! Moon Man,
where are you?
Here. In front of you.
Can you take me home?
- Home? To the moon?
- Yes, to the moon.
Er, no first to Bunsen.
Bunsen van der Dunkel.
Bunsen? Who is Bunsen?
Bunsen van der Dunkel?
Is he still around?
I'd forgotten all about him.
Get in. We'll take you there.
Right, Daddy?
For sure!
Climb aboard, Moon Man.
We'll take you with us.
Thank you.
Oh! Where has he gone? Heavens above!
The Moon Man has escaped.
Catch the escapee!
He wants to steal my rocket.
Out of my way! Stand back!
I have to go to my rocket!
Intruder? Escapee?
In. Out. What next?
Oh, Daddy,
can't we go with him?
No, sweetie. We've already
made quite a long detour
and now we have to hurry,
otherwise we'll be too late.
Detours help you
learn the territory.
I'm really going to miss you.
I'll be there for you.
Moon Man, I'm so glad that
I've finally seen you again.
Me too!
Goodbye, Moon Man!
Goodbye, Moon Man!
Goodbye friends!
Bon voyage!
Have a good journey!
My friend! Fantastic!
You've kept your promise!
Now that's what I
call a true friend!
Mr President?
I... Yes. Er... Where are you?
What a majestic rocket!
I will go down in history for this!
I can see it now:
Me, the first man on the moon!
Me... I... hahahahahaha...
Ha, ha. Very funny.
That's really smart.
Scaring an old man like that!
You little rascal!
It's nice to see you again.
Eh... Huh?
Where are you?
Oh, here you are, at last!
The rocket is finished?
Ready for lift off!
Lift off?
It feels strange to leave a
friend I've only just found.
It feels strange to fire
a friend up to the moon.
It's good that the moon
isn't visible tonight!
If we can't see the moon,
we can't aim the rocket.
So we still have some time
together until it's full moon again.
No, we don't have time,
because the President is heading this way
and all the children are waiting
to see you up in the sky again.
Without a target you
can't launch the rocket!
You don't need to have
your goal before your eyes,
you have to carry
it in your heart.
What is a heart?
Your heart is where you
feel that I am your friend.
And I've calculated the rocket's
trajectory. You can trust me.
What is trust?
Ask your heart. You'll arrive
safely at home on the moon.
My heart tells me that
we will be friends for ever.
For ever.
My friend! Fantastic!
You kept your promise!
Now that's what I call a true friend!
What a magnificent rocket!
I will go down in history for this!
I can see it now: Me,
the first man on the moon! Me...
Ah, Mr President.
I was going to call you,
but you beat me to it once again!
I'm always first, Bunsen!
And it must stay that way!
Bunsen, we have no time to lose.
The intruder has escaped.
I wouldn't want him to steal
my rocket and get there first.
The Moon Man hasn't shown
his face around here, has he?
The intruder has escaped? I haven't
seen any escapees intruding here.
Even if he did,
he can't get away from here.
The only way out of here is up,
and the only rocket here is mine.
I will be the first man on the moon.
I'm almost there!
But Mr President,
it will be fantastic.
Except that... well...
Wait a minute!
There's one small problem!
What kind of problem? I don't want
to hear anything about problems!
Wait, wait! Let me
give you some advice.
A bit of friendly advice.
What is it then?
We can't see the moon.
Of course we can't see it!
It's a new moon.
That's why we can't see it!
Even a child knows that!
How do you expect me to set a course
for the moon if we can't see it?
Heavens above!
Then mankind will just have to wait!
Two weeks?
We can't do it sooner
than that then!
I've already waited long
enough for this moment.
I have conquered the entire earth.
What else can I conquer?
Two weeks? Wait a minute,
I need to take a leak first.
Take a leak?
You know, go to the men's room.
Now open the door.
Hold that a moment.
I'll be right back.
Trust me!
And take this with you.
I trust you!
Halt! Stop!
Stay where you are!
Stop! That's my rocket!
What are you doing?
How can you do
this to a friend?
Friend? You were just trying to take
me for a fool! You're not my friend!
You wiry-haired loon!
Who would want to be your friend?
I wouldn't let you stop me!
That's my rocket. Out of my way!
A man can work faster alone.
But together you get further!
Is anyone there?
Mr. Bunsen?
Hello, my subjects!
Can you see me?
Oh, no!
Darned technology!
No! Oh, no! Nooo!
I feel cold!
I'm sure Mister President
will come back soon.
Sure he will.
Very soon.
The Moon Man had found
his place in people's hearts.
Never again did he
feel terribly bored
in his silver sphere.
Night after night
he was there;
for the young,
and for the old.
They never lost
sight of him again.
Except at New Moon.
That was incredible!
Yes, it was incredible.
Delicious Italian ice cream!
Would you like an ice cream?
Ah yeah!
Chocolate, please!
Here you go, young lady.
Thank you.
That was close.
We almost missed the start.
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