Despicable Me 3 (2017) Movie Script

Illumination!
The year was 1985, and the
number-one show on TV was...
Evil Bratt.
The show starred young Balthazar Bratt
as a child prodigy
and criminal mastermind
bent on world domination.
There he is!
Get him!
I've been a bad boy!
Bratt was the biggest child actor
of the 1980s,
striking a chord with audiences
all over the world.
- Yay!
- Yeah!
Hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo!
There he is!
Get him!
But it all came to an end
in season three,
When...
I've been a bad boy!
- The young star experienced
an unexpected growth spurt.
- Boy? Boy?
The show was canceled.
Hollywood rejected him
and Bratt quickly plunged
into a downward spiral.
Starting to actually believed he was
the character he played on TV.
What are you looking at?
Leading us all to wonder...
Where is he now?
You know what, Clive?
Playing a villain on TV was fun,
but being one in real life
is even better.
Heist music!
Here it comes.
What?
Clive!
What are you doing?
How is that heist music?
Sorry, my bad.
Ewww!
Wha-whoa!
Gah!
Mommy!
Stop right...
ANTI VILLAIN LEAGUE HEADQUARTERS
Sir, the ship has been boarded by
some kind of... monster.
Wait, that's not a monster.
That's a man wearing shoulder pads.
There's only one supervillain whose
fashion sense is quite that dated,
Balthazar Bratt.
Blast it!
The Dupont Diamond is on that ship!
I want every agent in the area
on the scene immediately.
Ha, ha, ha... !
Woo-hoo!
We're already here!
Agents Grucy are closing in fast.
Yes... wait, wha?
What did you call us?
Grucy. You know,
Gru and Lucy mushed together.
Try it.
Haha!
I like it, but not a lot,
I don't like it.
Stop!
On the ground!
The jewel!
Move!
Go, go, go!
Don't move.
Uh?
Too late again, Gru.
Ha, ha, ha... !
WHAAA... ?
He's getting away!!
That's what he thinks.
- Wahooo!
- Ha, ha!
Go, go!
Ugh!
Go, go.
Go, go, go!
I don't think
we can make it, Gru.
We can make it!
We can make it... !
No, we can't!
Get ready!
Get ready for whaaa... !
Hey.
How're you doing?
Are you okay?
- Hello.
- Oh.
You guys are so cute.
Go get him, Gru Gru!
Hello, Gru.
How's your transition coming?
You know, from world's worst villain
to world's worst agent?
Oh, that's hilarious!
You should be on TV!
Oh, that's right,
you were...
but then you got canceled.
Ha ha!
What about that?
Whaaa...
Oh! Girls !
Oh!
Dance fight!
Ow!
Alpha team, the diamond is secure.
Come and pick up the package.
Copy that, Alpha team on approach.
Gru.
- Did you actually think
I was unconscious?
- Oh.
It's called acting, hoser!
And clearly I've still got it!
I've been a baaaaaaaad boy!
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
Freeze!
Don't move!
Son of a Betamax!
Go! Go!
Get him! Get him!
He's getting away!
This isn't over, Gru!
You hear me?
This is not over!
Yeah?
Well, I still have the diamond!
Happy birthday to you.
Happy birthday to...
Happy birthday, dear Daaaaaan.
Happy birthday to you.
- Ha, ha, ha, ha!
- Ha, ha, ha, ha!
- Hey, you ready?
- Yeah!
Party!
Party, everyone!
DESPICABLE ME 3
Hey!
Watch it!
I can't believe
Bratt got away, again.
How is this possible?
How...
And it's not just that he got away!
It's that he's so smug about it!
I've been a baaaaaaaad boy!
Edna, hey.
Looking hot... today.
Got the... cats on you.
And it was just so humiliating.
Dangling there in the
bubble-gum Speedo.
And I didn't have time to go
to the gym this week!
And I had a big breakfast!
I was feeling a little bloated!
You know what?
He's not even worth talking about.
I don't even want to waste
another breath about the guy.
And another thing!
Next time I see Bratt, I will
moonwalk all over his stupid face!
Thank you all for coming
in such short notice.
It is with great sadness that
I inform you that as of today
I am retiring as
head of the AVL.
Oh no.
Your new leader is coming directly from
head office, effective immediately.
She is the very gifted, very ambitious
Miss Valerie Da Vinci.
As I look out over all of your faces,
I am flooded with so many memories.
- Oh boy, this is a snoozeday.
- I... Excuse me.
Blah blah blah. We understand.
You're old, you're fat, you're done.
Let me breathe in.
Woo.
Broke a little sweat there.
First order of business.
Which one of you losers
is Agent Gru?!
Uh that would be me.
Although I don't know
if I'd say 'loser' per Se,
kind of a...
Huh!
Oh, it's the girls.
Not a good time.
- Hey!
- Aaah!
Yes, sir.
Huh, uh... ma'am.
You're making me nervous.
How could you let Balthazar Bratt,
the AVL's most-wanted villain,
just get away?
That is the opposite of
what we do here!
Okay, okay, yes,
maybe he got away... again,
but he didn't get the diamond!
And I am this close
to bringing him in.
This close!
Huh?
Interesting.
You're fired!
Huh!
What?
This is totally not fair.
Gru is a great agent.
You know what?
If you fire him,
you're going to have to fire me,
sister sister.
And do you really want to do that?
Do ya?
No, no, no, no, no.
Well, I guess she did!
Honey, you didn't have to do that.
I know how much
you love your job.
Well, I love other things more.
You know, we're going to
have to tell the girls.
Can you do it?
The whole Mom thing is
still kind of new to me.
Oh, sure.
Hello?
- Aloha!
- Aloha!
Oh!
This is unexpected.
Well, you never got to go
on a honeymoon, so
We made you dinner!
It's a luau!
We got pineapples and
coconuts and lukuleles!
- Oh ho, yeah.
- Yeah.
Hey!
Ya malatika tika, hee ha!
Oww oww oww ah ah ah!
Oww oww oww ah ah ah!
Ahem.
The soup of the day,
madame and monsieur.
The gummy bears were my idea.
Mmmmmm
Looks too good to even eat!
Am I right?
- But I made it for you.
- Oh.
Good soup! I love the combination
of gummy bears and meat!
I'm gonna hold it
in my mouth,
because it's so good
I don't want to swallow it.
So.
How was work?
Did you take that guy down?
Did anything explode?
Well, actually,
today Lucy and I
were invited to not work
at the AVL anymore.
Huh!
No!
You got fired?
Oh no!
No, no, no...
- Yes.
- What?
But don't worry,
I'm sure we'll get
new jobs real soon.
Even better ones.
What's better than being
super-cool secret agents?
Oh, I know!
You could gamble online!
That's what Katie's dad does!
Okay, we will definitely
look into that.
That's a good suggestion.
And let's not go over
to Katie's house anymore.
Hmm.
Guys, shhhhhh.
I don't think you heard me right.
No, no, no, no, no, no, this does not mean
that we are going back to being villains.
- Oh.
- Oh.
Boring!
You weren't like this!
Okay, alright,
I get it.
Look, I know it's been
a little tough lately,
especially with Doctor Nefario
accidentally freezing himself in carbonite,
Ow!
but our life of crime is over!
Mel.
Mel, you're with me on this, right?
Look.
- Good...
- Yay!
- Boring!
- Boo!
- Good...
- Yay!
- Boring!
- Ohh!
- Good...
- Yay!
- Boring!
- Boo!
Minions no more boring!!
Boring!
Boring!
Guys!
Listen to me and read my lips!
Lissa me lippo, pomodoro la comquit!
What?
Wha...
What did I say?
"la comquit?"
Oh, okay,
pomodoro la kumquat.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Did you say no more crime?
I cannot accept this.
Don't take that tone with me!
We're not going back to villainy.
Uh.
No villainy?
Yes. And I don't want to hear
another word about it.
Look, if you guys
don't stop that right now,
there will be consequences!
Huh!
I can do whatever I want.
Hey.
Don't say anything
you're going to regret.
Oh. Listen to this.
I quit!
See you!
What?
You quit?
You're serious?
Come on.
Uh. Uh.
Bud-Buddy?
Dave!
Jerry!
Great news, guys...
you've been promoted.
You're in charge now, eh?
Not bad!
Yipa! Yipo!
Yippee!
- Aruba-ruba-ruba-ruba!
- Aruba-ruba-ruba-ruba!
Jeesh!
PARIS. FRANCE
Huh!
Monsieur Pompo.
To what do we owe the presence
of the world's foremost gem expert?
The chief of police sent me.
He was concerned that during
the recent heist attempt,
The Dupont Diamond
was replaced with a phony.
Ooh la la.
You have been duped.
What?
We have?
Yes.
By me!
Wha-What is... ?
Oh no.
Help!
Ha ha ha...
I've been a bad boy!
Or should I say,
"Je suis un mauvais garon!"
Oh.
Hey, Gru,
whatcha doing down here?
In the dark.
Alone.
Oh nothing, just thinking.
You okay?
Oh yes, yeah,
I'm fine, I'm fine.
It's just
I don't know.
I guess I just feel like a failure.
Like I don't have
a purpose anymore.
Hey, mister,
you are not a failure.
If only I could've nailed Bratt.
So many times
I almost had him!
But now I'll never
get the chance.
'Cause I have been
kicked to the curb.
Gru, you've got to let this go.
It's time to look forward.
Things will get better, I promise.
Follow me.
Follow me.
Coming through, make way.
- Coming through.
- Uh, excuse me.
Pardon me,
young... people.
Would you tell me
how to get to this address?
Uh.
Uh, ah.
You are looking for Minions?
I'm looking for a Mr. Gru.
Gru is a lousy boss!
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
Bye!
Idiots.
No. Kyle.
Stop!
Kyle, let go.
BRATT STEALS WORLD'S
BIGGEST DIAMOND
No, no...
you've got to be kidding me.
Lucy, did you see...
He helps you if you have nightmares,
and he's really good to snuggle with...
Oh no, no, no, Agnes!
Agnes!
So, take good care of him.
Thank you!
Agnes, what are you doing?
You...
You sold your unicorn?
Well, I just wanted to help.
Since you don't have a job.
I got two whole dollars for it!
Uh, excuse me.
Sorry, buddy, the sale's over.
Yes, but this will only take a....
Hey, Eyebrows.
Get off the lawn.
Yeah, but...
- Hey, could you...
- Oh uh, of course.
Now, as I was saying.
I...
- Uh... Oh.
- Goodbye.
Listen, Agnes.
You don't need to worry.
We're going to be fine.
- For real?
- For real.
Now come on,
let's pack this stuff up.
Ow.
Ow.
Seriously?
Buddy, you're not getting the hint.
Excuse me, Mr. Gru.
But I really must
have a word with you.
How did you know my name?
Allow me to introduce myself...
my name is Fritz, and OW!
Uh, good puppy.
And I am inquiring
on behalf of your twin brother, Dru.
He needs your help.
What?
Twin brother?
Twin brother?
- Twin brother?
- Twin brother?
Oh Yeah.
He would like to fly you
to Freedonia to meet him.
Your father has recently
passed away and...
Okay, cuckoo.
I'm sorry, but my dad died
when I was a baby,
and I don't have any brother.
You've got the wrong guy.
Really?
Well, then how do
you explain... this?
Ahhhhh!
Bellissimo!
- Oh, hello, Gru.
- Hi, Mom.
It's important to keep active
in one's golden years.
There you are, you cute cute.
These are my diving instructors,
Vincenzo and Paolo!
Ciao, boys!
So what do you want?
Mom, do I have a twin brother?
How did you find out?
Who told you?
Wait, what?
It's true?
You never told me
I had a brother!
And you told me that Dad died of
disappointment when I was born!
Yeah, yeah, that was the agreement.
Agreement?
What are you talking about?
Shortly after you and your brother
were born, your father and I divorced.
We each took one son
to raise on our own.
And promised never
to see each other again.
Obviously, I got second pick.
I have a brother.
Hey girls, how are things
in row B, huh?
I've put together some
fun activities for the trip.
Who is up for some
Gin Rummy?
Yeah. Umm...
We're good.
Oh.
Okay.
I'll just sit here
and play solitaire.
I hope I win.
I wonder what Dru
will be like!
Woo!
Maybe we'll have that twin thing
where we can read
each other's minds, you know?
- How cool would that be?!
- Um, super cool.
Ah, ha ha ha...
Ooh.
Aah!
Ow! Ow!
Woo-hoo!
Freedonia!
Freedonia!
Hi, piggy, piggy!
Huh! Whoa!
Look at that house!
It's like a castle!
I can't wait
to meet my brother!
Uh.
What's with all the pigs?
This is the family business.
The largest pig farm
in the whole of Freedonia.
Okay, nice pig.
No!
That's my private part!
Owww!
This pig has issues!
Please, come in.
Wow.
Yeah, haha!
Whoa!
Oh, this is amazing!
Ah, it's like the Sistine Chapel.
But with pigs.
My brother!!
- My brother!
- My brother!
Gru!
Dru!
Ahhhh!
Brother! I am hugging you!
I'm so happy!
After all these years,
finally I'm meeting you!
- Yup, alright, good.
- Oh, look at that!
- Woo!
- You must be the beautiful wife!
Beautiful, oh.
Stop it!
Sweet talker.
How is my brother finding a wife
like you when he is so bald?
Woo-hoo!
These must be my nieces!
Huh! You're Agnes,
you're small with big eyes!
And it makes me want to
put you in my pocket!
You can't do that.
I'm too big.
And Edith,
I can tell that you are
a little mischievous.
We're going to have to make
a little trouble later.
Wha...
I already have!
Ow.
Ow! Ow!
Please, stop.
Why are you doing that?
Ow!
Ow.
Fist bump for mischievous behavior.
And Margo!
Oh, you are so mature.
I'm guessing what fifteen?
Fifteen?
She's twelve! She looks twelve.
And will always be twelve.
So, Dru
this place is amazing.
I mean, you just walk through the doors
and you're like: wooooowwwooowwooooo!!
Eh. It's nice, I guess, sure.
I'm not really into 'things.'
Wow!
This is so cool!
Oh my gosh,
he's even got a helicopter!
This is the best!
Yes, the best.
- All right, let's go home now.
- Home? Why?
I don't know, this guy,
with the mansion and the cars
and all the hair,
silky-smooth, luxurious hair.
I feel worse than
I did before I came.
Oh, but he's your brother, Gru.
Give him a chance.
Oh, I was thinking, while Gru and I
catch up on some brother stuff,
you girls should go with Fritz.
He has a surprise for you.
- Yay!
- Yay!
- Awesome.
I love surprises!
Oh, this is perfect.
Mother, daughter bonding time.
Let's do it.
Woo-woo!
Bye!
You boys have fun.
Ha ha ha!
Whoopee!
Now you can be as evil
as Balthazar Bratt
with the evil Bratt action figure,
featuring music activated
Break Dance mode.
Also featuring bubble gum
launching shoulder pads.
And the all new
Mega Diamond Laser.
No more math!
I've been a bad boy!
Mega Diamond Laser does not
actually incinerate books.
How could Hollywood cancel a show
that produced toys like this, Clive?
Evil Bratt was a masterpiece.
Does no one value
true art anymore?
It's a disgrace and a travesty, sir.
Well, now that I've got the diamond,
it's payback time.
Oh, it's too bad Gru won't be
around to try and stop me.
Oh, wait! No, it's not!
I hate that tweeb!
And you, Hollywood!
This time, I'm canceling you!
And all the losers
who rejected me!
Ha ha ha... !
Ooooo, piggy, piggy!
So how are things
going for you, career-wise?
Ahhaaaaa great.
So, so great.
Crushing it.
Well, I've got something that I think
you will find very interesting.
Hold on to your face, Brother.
Whaaaaaaaaaa!
Yee-haw!
Ya ya!
Eh.
What?
Yee-haw!
Ow!
Huh? Ah!
Salami!
Hey, I got Salami.
Ah, yes, yes.
It's Salami.
- Whoa. Whoa.
- Come on, come on.
What is all this?
The pig farm was just a cover
for the real family business.
Haha!
Hey.
It's Gru with boobs!
Now, feast your eyes on
Dad's lair!
Ta-da!
Whoa whoa whoa, wait
So our dad was a villain?
No, no, no.
Not just a villain.
But one of the greatest
of all time!
He was known
as the Bald terror.
That's him?
Our dad?
He was so proud of you.
And what a great villain you were.
He was?
But me
not so much
To Dad, I was just a failure.
He never thought I had
what it took to be a villain.
But now you can help me
prove him wrong.
Brother, teach me the art of villainy!
No. No, no, no.
I can't do that.
What? But it's our family tradition!
You can't say no to that!
Look, I'm sorry.
I've left that life behind me.
- End of story.
- Oh.
Okay.
I understand.
Hmmm
I wonder what this does?
Huh?
Help.
Help!
No no no...
- Aaah!
- Aah!
Holey moley!
Dad's villain wheels.
Pretty slick, huh?
Hey, you want to
take her out for a spin?
Just for some fun?
Hmmmmm
Woo-hoo!
Look out!
Whoa! Whoa!
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
What a beautiful day!
Zero to 400 in 3 seconds.
Able to withstand a nuclear blast,
armed to the teeth!
Oh yeah.
That's pretty nice.
- And it's a hybrid.
- LOOK OUT!
Yeah!
Help me!
I am not enjoying this...!
Whoa.
What is going on here?
Welcome to the annual
Freedonian Cheese Festival!
Go!
Ooo. Look. Look.
Look at all the candies.
Whoa!
Lucy, can we get these please?
Okay, but only one each.
I mean it.
- Oh, man.
No, I don't!
Get as many as you want,
- I don't care!
- Yay!
Awesome!
- Um.
- What?
It's okay to tell them no
sometimes, too, you know.
Moms need to be tough.
Right. Right, tough.
Good one.
I can totally do that. You know,
still figuring out this mom thing.
Getting my sea legs, matie!
It's a unicorn!
Can we go in there!
Please please please please please?
Um, sure
Yeah.
But first, let's, um
ooh, look!
It's a traditional Freedonian dance!
How amazing does that look?
Chee!
I love this.
The little girls go and get
the cheese from the little boys.
That's adorable.
Oh, look at that
poor little guy.
With his little boots.
Nobody picked him.
Margo, why don't you go up there?
- No way!
- Okay.
Wait a minute.
No.
Go take a bite of
his cheese, young lady.
Right now.
What?
I'm being tougher.
You know, like you said.
No. I meant be tougher
on them, not me.
Oh, come on, just do it.
What's the worst that could happen?
Fine.
Huh!
Wow!
Hey there, I'm Margo.
Hello, Margo.
I am Niko.
Would you like some of my cheese?
Hmmm...
Yes, yes, yes!
Thank you, Margo! Thank you!
BAM!
I am a great mother.
Did you see that, girls?
I lay down the...
Oh no
Where are they?
Agnes!
Edith!
Hello.
Uh, look!
A unicorn horn!
My little brain
is going to explode!
Ugh, Agnes.
That's a fake.
Ohhhh, it's real alright.
That horn
came from the Crooked Forest.
The only place on earth
where unicorns still live.
Laugh!
Laugh, all of you!
They all think I'm crazy.
But I'm telling you,
I saw one once.
With my own eye!
Wait, wait, wait
You saw a for-real, live unicorn?
What did it look like?
Did you pet it?
Did it smell like candy?
Was it fluffy?
It was so fluffy
I thought I was going to die.
Do you think maybe
I could find one, too?
They say if a maiden pure of heart
goes into the Crooked Forest,
the unicorn will come
and be hers forever.
Agnes!
Goal!
Excuse me!
Girls!
Don't worry, I'm here!
Are you okay?
Yeah, we're fine.
Are you?
Unicorns are really real!
And I'm gonna find one!!
Sorry, I went a little
mama bear on you.
You know, I heard a scream and
yeah, okay.
Have a good one!
- Wait for me here!
- Don't.
Stop that! Ow!
You kicked me.
Hey! Hey!
What are you doing?
Did you just steal candies?
Yes!
That was a lot of
effort for two lollipops.
Oh no!
The police!
What do we do?
What do we do?
Come on!
This is going to be fun!
The police are going to get us!
I'm freaking out!
Brakes!
Cops!
Whoa, they're back!
Man, that was crazy!
- We're so close to getting busted.
- Tell me about it.
I thought you were
going to pee your pants!
- I did!
- You did!
Mel, food...
Ugh. Hey, Mel.
Hold on a sec.
We're tired, cold, and hungry.
- Mel, hungry.
- Mel, hungry.
It's pizza. Over there.
Our food, spaghetti!
Pizza! Pizza! Pizza!
Pizza! Pizza! Pizza!
Hey!
What are you doing?
Intruders!
Intruders!
Stop!
Hey, you! Don't move!
Halt!
Call for backup!
Come on. Come on.
Let's go, keep going.
What's this?
Happy? It's on you.
Do something.
No, no, no.
No, no, no.
Get 'em!
Go! Go!
Hey, you!
Freeze!
Don't move!
Hands in the air!
Face it, Gru.
Villainy is in your blood.
You can't tell me you don't
miss the rush. A little?
Well
Yeah, maybe a little.
And now you've got a chance
to get back on top.
Get your mojo back.
Become Gru again!
How awesome would that be?
Oh please, come on,
just one heist.
There's got to be something
out there, somewhere,
that you still want to steal.
Hmmmm
There is something.
How about we steal
the largest diamond in the world?
Yes!
I love it!
Oh, thank you, Brother!
Thank you from the
bottom of my heart!
Oh! You know what?
We should do something to celebrate.
Ohhhh.
I've got the perfect idea.
Fritz, my good fellow.
Could you get me
another napkin, please?
Oh yes, of course, Miss Edith.
Hey, where are Gru and Dru?
Here we are!
How's it going?
It's me, Gru.
And me, Dru.
I hug everybody whether
they like it or not.
Why are they pretending
to be each other?
Oh!
What's for dinner?
I probably won't like it.
I'm so grumpy all the time!
Hey!
I laugh a lot!
And I'm kind of an idiot!
Oh, a bust in the gut.
Look at them!
They had no idea!
Total burn.
Oh, look,
it's me...Gru!
And I'm Dru!
We switched places!
you two are getting along
- Oh, we're getting...
- Along perfectly.
- Wait. Did we...
- Just finish...
- Each...
- Other's...
- Sentences?
- Sentences?
Aw, that's delightful.
Not creepy at all.
And you're gonna stop now,
though, right?
Sorry, it's a twin thing.
Uh-huh.
So...
what did you guys do today?
- Nothing!
- Nothing!
Okay.
What is it...
All done!
Pardon me!
Out of the way!
Good night, everybody!
Hey, hey, hey, put the brakes on.
What's the rush?
I need to go to bed so I can
wake up and find a unicorn!
Good night!
What was that about?
Agnes thinks she's going to find
a real unicorn in the woods tomorrow.
She's totally freaking out.
I feel like someone got's to
tell her the truth.
Not it!
Ohhh, don't worry.
Parenting 101.
I've got this.
Ummm And please bless that
when I find the unicorn,
he'll want to come home with me.
And sleep in my room.
And that I can ride him
to school every day.
And he will use his magical powers
to help me do math.
Amen.
Oh.
Hi, Gru.
Hey.
So big day tomorrow.
Yeah, I'm finally going to
get to see a unicorn!
For reals.
If I do, can I bring it home,
please?
Ohhh.
Yeah, sure.
Tell you what,
every unicorn you find,
you can bring it home.
I'd better build a big pen, right?
But you know
there's a chance that
you might not find one.
Huh?
I'm...
It might not be good
unicorn finding weather.
Umm.
They're tricky to find them
and I don't know
Maybe, just...
maybe unicorns don't really ex...
...explore that part of the woods.
But the man said
a maiden could find one
if she was pure of heart.
And I'm pure of heart, right?
The purest.
Can we stop talking now?
I need to get to sleep.
Goodnight, sweetie.
Goodnight, Gru.
Unicorns I love them.
Unicorns I love them.
Huh!
Aaaah!
I'm okay.
Uh.
Hey!
Give that back!
Huh?
Come on!
Guys!
Don't leave me!
Oh, no!
Run!
We've been waiting a long time.
No. No.
Ow!
No.
Please, don't.
Huh!
Gru?
My plane... broke.
Oh.
Uh?
Huh!
Buddies, I've decided.
We're going back to Gru.
We're going back to Gru!
Because I'm training for
the big day,
nobody's gonna stop me
'cause I am super sassy.
Super sassy. Super sassy.
What's today's plan, boss?
What's the plan?
Silly robot.
I'll show you the plan.
Time to watch a very
special episode of Evil Bratt
to see exactly what I'm going
to do to stupid Tinseltown.
This week on Evil Bratt.
It's a giant Evil Bratt robot!
Open fire!
Nice try, coppers.
Chew on this!
He's shooting his super sticky
self inflating gum!
Run!
Gum one!
Gum all!
Gum one.
Gum all.
Seriously, how did this show
never win an Emmy?
And now, it's your turn
to shine, my diamond!
Hey, Clive.
I guess you can say our plan
was... out of this world.
Now that's entertainment.
Come on.
Let's make it a reality.
Here we are, in the dark
and creepy Crooked Forest,
in search of the
mythical unicorn.
For some reason.
And here she is,
the fearless unicorn hunter, seeking the...
Edith, stop it!
You're gonna scare away the unicorn!
If somehow we actually
find a unicorn,
I'm gonna film it
and get rich.
Look over there!
Wooah!
This is it!
This is where we're gonna see it!
Unicorns, here we come.
What's that for?
Bait.
Duh.
Come on!
Now all we have
to do is wait.
Okay.
This is Bratt's lair.
It may not look like much,
but this place is armed
with some of the most high-tech
weaponry known to man.
It's considered impenetrable.
But a piece of cake for us,
right, Brother?
This is not like stealing lollipops.
Whoa!
This security system can detect
an air assault from any direction.
No!
Ouch!
No!
Ouch!
Please! Stop!
Ouch!
So we'll have to approach low
and close to the water.
Next.
Then there are these deadly spikes.
Ha ha ha ha!
Geronimo!
Covered with enough poison
to blow your mind... literally.
Ouch!
Ha ha ha ha ha!
Ah...
Good to know.
So here's the plan.
You're the getaway driver.
So you'll wait in the boat.
Wait, hold on.
Wait in the boat?
But... I want to be
in on the actions!
The getaway driver is the
most crucial part of any plan.
Do you know how hard it is
doing nothing, touching nothing,
with all of the adrenaline
coursing through your veins
and you must wait.
Can I count on you?
I guess so
So... I'll climb up the cube
and enter here.
Then once I'm inside,
I'll find the diamond.
I've underestimated Bratt before.
It's not going to be easy.
I think we can handle it.
Dad's villain suits!
This will make us unstoppable.
Whoa.
Ay, chihuahua!
I call the black one!
It's go time!
Hello.
Oh, hi.
Hello, mother of Margo.
I am Niko.
I present you with pig to confirm
my engagement to your daughter.
- Hey, what now?
- What's going on?
Remember, little boots?
- Hello, my schmoopsie poo.
- Whoa! Hey!
He seems to think you're engaged.
What?
We're not engaged!
Look, Niko.
You seem like a very nice boy
With a very nice pig.
Uh, but you're not engaged.
Okay?
It's not happening.
I understand.
Who was I kidding?
A dumpling like me with
a goddess like you?
But I promise:
I will never forget you, Margo.
Never.
Oh, I'm pretty sure
I won't forget you, either.
Bye.
Bye, Niko.
Wow, that was crazy!
Wooo!
That was totally humiliating!
Taking a bite of that cheese was
the stupidest thing I've ever done.
Why did I listen to you?
Right, but it's over now, so...
Ugh, here we go.
Niko...
You!
You refuse my son's engagement pig?
What?
May you and your daughter die
a slow death and be buried with onions!
Alright, lady.
That's it!
Nobody... nobody! ...curses my daughter!
You got that?
Because if you mess with Margo,
you mess with me!
And I promise, you do not
want to mess with me!
Do you understand me?
Yes, yes.
Good.
Now, GET!
Look, Margo.
I think we just need to... Oh.
Yes!
Oh!
I've to tell Gru!
- Can we go back now?
- Already?
Just a couple more hours!
We have to be home
before it gets dark.
I don't understand.
I did exactly
what the man said.
You mean that one-eyed, scar-faced man
that everybody laughed at?
Yeah.
It makes no sense.
- Look, Agnes, maybe we're not...
- Huh!
My whole life has been
building to this moment!
Um.
It's a...
Unicorn!
I can't believe it!
I'm gonna name you Lucky!
Oh, Lucky, stop it...
Yeah.
I'll let someone else burst her bubble.
Look at us!
Two brothers pulling a heist.
And that diamond will make us
the richest, most powerful villains in the world!
Right, Brother?
Right.
Yeah. Yeah...
Bravo! Bravissimo!
You're amazing!
I'm so sorry. I'm so embarrassed.
I was very rude.
- And you were always such a gentleman.
- You did it! You did it!
You got our jobs back.
What? Oh yeah.
Right. Sure.
Oh look, we're here!
I'm going in.
Take the wheel.
I still don't see
why I can't go with you.
Hey.
Hey, we discussed this.
Now is not the time
to mess with the plan.
Fine...
- Hey, brother.
- What?
I told you, you were
supposed to stay with the boat!
Oh, I didn't think
you meant that literally.
What other way
could I have meant it?
Alright. Let's move.
Just follow my lead.
Got it.
Help me!
Ow! Ow! Ow!
Oh no!
The poison spikes!
Oh, I'm gonna be impaled!
Ha ha!
I'm okay!
I miss the Minions.
Come on!
Coming.
Coming.
Come on.
It's a scanning device!
Quick... camouflage mode.
Freeze!
And close your eyes.
And cover your mouth!
Okay.
Take my hand!
Ha ha.
Follow me!
Ha ha.
Look out!
You're right.
I should've stay in the boat.
My stomach feels all queasy.
I shouldn't have eaten
that hot pie.
Hey. Hey.
Relax.
You're going to be just fine.
I got your back.
Come on, this way.
Gru would take this.
Gru would take that.
Go, go, go!
Eh.
Peter, that way.
Oh, okay, okay.
Go, go.
Go, go, go!
Huh?
Hey, come back.
Hello. Hello.
Hello.
You jacket is located
within easy reach.
Inflate your jacket by pulling the toggle.
Like this...
Thank for your attention,
enjoy your flight.
Straight ahead. Straight ahead.
Straight ahead.
Bud-Buddy.
Bud-Buddy!
Buddy!!!
It looks like
it's right above us.
Okay! What do I do?
Should I wait in the vent?
No.
Come with me.
Yes, I'd like to
thank the Academy.
- I can...
- No no no no no...
- Why? I can do it.
- Don't, don't, don't!
Yes, yes, Molly Ringwald.
I will take you to the prom.
What... Who
Where... What...
Who's there?
Who's there?
Ninety nine red balloons...
Whoops!
Almost forgot.
Shhh, shhh.
Over here!
Stay close!
Huh!
Whaaa...
Dolls.
Looks like Bratt was the only one
stupid enough to buy this junk.
Oh.
I used to have one of these!
Pew pew pew!
Aaah!
Oww!
Hey! Shh!
Come on!
Alright.
We're getting close.
From now on, every move must be
made with ultra precision and purpose.
Gum!
Focus!
We're after the diamond,
not the bubble gum!
Ah, got it.
Mmm.
Yum.
This way!
And now to put this
where it belongs.
What?
Look at it, Clive.
It's beautiful!
Will you please shut up?
He's gonna spot us.
Spit it out! Spit it out!
I told you not to touch anything!
Intruders! Intruders!
Intruders!
Freeze, dipsticks!
Gru!
There's two of you now?
Then this will be
twice as much fun.
Aaaaah!
Give me back my diamond!
Total lockdown!!
Go get 'em, Bratt Pack!!
They're gonna get us!
They're gonna get us!
Run!
Oh no
Oh no?
What does that mean?
ARE WE GONNA DIE??
ARE WE GONNA DIE??
WE'RE GONNA DIE!!
What?
Hey, guys.
Hold on!
Lucy!
Thank you for saving us!
Woo!
Look! We got the diamond!
And we're going to...
Take it to the AVL
and get our jobs back!
Wait!
What?
That's amazing!
And the best part is
you are never ever
go behind my back
ever again!
- Right, honeybear?
- Yup! Yup! Right.
Lesson learned.
I'll get the girls and start packing
and tell them the good news!
Ah, we're getting
our jobs back, yeah!
Yes. Yes.
Go tell the girls.
Dru.
No. No way!
We can't give the diamond back!
- I have to.
- No, you don't!
- Yes, I do.
- Give it.
- No!
- Give it!
Ow!
What is wrong with you?
What is wrong with you?
You kicked me!
You-You lied to me.
Hey.
I would have told you the truth.
But you're too much
of a wimp to handle it.
That's it, I'm out of here.
You have no right to take that,
we stole it together.
Together?
You got to be kidding me.
You did nothing but
screwed up the whole time.
I got this
in spite of you.
Oh, yeah?
Well, at least I didn't get fired
from my job
like a total loser.
At least I had a job.
What have you accomplished
that was so great?
I'll tell you what:
Nothing!
No wonder Dad thought
you were such a failure.
We're no longer brothers!
That's fine with me!
Gru!
I found a unicorn!
My life is complete!
Honey, that's...
that's not actually a unicorn.
Huh?
But-But he has one horn.
I'm-I'm sorry, sweetie,
but...
he's just a goat.
Life is just like that sometimes.
We're hoping for a unicorn
and we get a goat.
Well, you know what?
Lucky is the best goat
in the whole wide world!
Look at that face!
I just want to squeeze it.
I'll take this.
You've been a bad boy, Gru.
Can you get the rest
of the suitcases?
Come on, girls, let's go!
Let's get physical, physical!
Change of plan, girls.
Instead of going home...
Eyebrows.
Ow!
We're going to Hollywood!
Now that's what I call acting.
Let's go, Clive.
We've got a giant robot waiting.
Huh?
Huh?
Lucy?
Bratt, he took the girls!
What?
No!
Dru!
Dru!
Go away.
I don't want to talk to you.
Bratt has the girls!
Listen, brother.
What...
- About what I said.
- No, I'm the one...
But I shouldn't have...
I'm-I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry, Gru.
Oh, look out!
What is that?
Hey. Hey!
Infront!
Caramba!
Caramba!
CARAMBAAAAA!
Mel?
Huh?
Gru?
Got to turn this thing around...
Gru!
Wait up!
GRUUUUU...
Hello, Hollywood!
I'm back and bigger than ever.
I'm scared!
Thank you.
Thank you so...
You can't leave me here!
I'm famous!
Clive, arm the cannons.
Chew on this!
Hey, mullet-head.
Let us out!
Oh, don't worry, girls.
I've prepared
a front row seat for you.
- Waaah!
- Agnes!
Once again, I win
and Gru loses.
Enjoy the show, girls.
- What in the heck?
- Oh!
I hope the girls are okay.
Bratt!
Brother!
9 o'clock.
No. 3 o'clock.
He's on the left!
Huh, no.
I've seen this episode.
He's going to bubble gum
the whole city
and send it up into space.
Hurry!
This is it.
This is it.
Lights!
Camera!
LASER!
Yeah.
Look.
I got the girls.
You two go
take care of Bratt.
Wait.
What are you doing?
Look, you guys.
It's Lucy.
Lucy, over here.
Help! Help us!
Mama's coming, girls.
- Lucy!
- Right here! Lucy!
Look at that laser go.
I love it when a
plan comes together.
Aaaah!
It's Gru!
Get ready, Bratt.
You're about to be blasted
back to the 80s.
Ah ho!
We got him!
- Oh no.
- Don't worry.
There's more where that came from.
It'll take more than
that to stop me.
Bratt pack,
go get that barf bag.
Oh, incoming!
Ow. Ow. Ow.
You, little...
Quick!
Jump!
Boners!
Did you see that, Clive?
All gone.
Bye bye, Wonder Twins.
Whoa!
Ooh la la!
Look are all those giant bubbles!
Help!
Help!
Hang on!
Hang on, girls!
I got you!
I can't.
I'm slipping!
No!
Gotcha.
Thank you, Lucy.
Let's go!
We're not safe yet!
Minions, time to do
what we do best.
We will cheer for our boss.
We will fight for our boss.
We'll pop the bubbles!
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
- Villain!
- Villain!
You guys too!
You guys are villains!
Look at what we have here.
Sorry, Gru.
This is going to be a total burn.
Oh, no. No!
No, no, no, no...
I've been a bad boy!
Nobody messes with my brother!
Aaaah!
Aaaaahh!
What?
What's happening?
Dru!
Hold on!
I'm coming!
You've ruined everything.
And now, it's time to die.
Any last words, Gru?
You know what?
I got two words for you.
Dance fight.
Oh, it is alright, Donkey Kong.
I'm going to enjoy this.
Enough!
My turn.
Oh oh.
Game over!
Is this what you're looking for?
No!
Ow! Ow!
Ow!
No... !
Curse you, Gru!
Curse you.
Bill, over there.
Robert, work your pick.
Chuck, more bashing.
Dru.
Dru.
Hey, we did it.
Yes, we did, brother.
- Gru!
- Gru!
Girls!
Gru!
Hey, Mel.
Welcome back.
Woo-hooooo!
- Yay!
- Yay!
Love you, Mom.
I'm a Mom.
I'm a Mom!
Fight!
Ha ha!
Ha ha ha...
Cheater!
- How do you like this, Cheater?
- No. No.
Boys.
Time for bed.
We're back at work
in the morning.
- I'm coming, sweetie.
- Hi, Lucy.
See you tomorrow, brother.
Hey, I'm back on the job.
So no villainy tonight.
Huh, got it?
I make no promises.
Love you!
Uh-huh, right.
I love you too.
Alright, every...
Go. Go.
Go to bed.
Hey. Guys.
Come on.
Shhh.
Shhhh.
What the heck is happening?
It's coming from outside!
Huh!
Hey, I thought we said
no more villainy!
Sorry, brother.
- Somebody's got to keep
the family tradition alive.
- Yoo-hoo.
Right?
- Yeah!
- Villain!
- Yeah!
- Kumbaya!
Let's get him.
Honey, he's my brother.
We'll give him
a 5 minute head start.