Devour (2025) Movie Script
1
War is a haunting abyss,
that engulfs humanity
in profound darkness,
tearing apart communities
and families with a ferocity
that resonates through history.
Brother turned against brother.
Its citizens found themselves
in a maelstrom of violence
fueled by ideological divisions.
The haunting echoes of
battles reverberated
through the once quiet towns,
leaving scars
that extended far beyond
the battlefield.
Marked by gruesome encounters in
the dehumanizing effects of war
unfolded with devastating
consequences.
Families were torn asunder,
cities reduced to rubble,
and the very ideals
became obscured
in the haze of bloodshed.
I've seen a thousand years
of human kind's bullshit.
Dealing with this.
Medic!
but fuck it.
Come on, get up!
Move dammit. Come on dammit.
Did I mention I was a vampire?
But in modern times,
we say fangers.
Sunlight sucks.
It doesn't kill you.
Not right away at least.
We heal pretty fast.
Running away from your company,
ain't ya?
What's it to ya?
Hands up.
You coming with us.
I don't know if
you want to do that.
He didn't even flinch.
Whoa! Buddy!
He's running away, hey boys!
Funny thing is old boy,
I ain't never seen you before.
Living high off
the cotton corporal.
You see that burning over there?
- I do.
- Well that used to be Atlanta.
Now it's time for
somebody to pay the piper.
It's a shame too.
I just got no time for heroes.
He got fangs boss!
Tell the devil Druid sent ya.
You know what's crazy?
I'm actually a really
good swimmer.
Surviving the plague
in the 14th century,
will do that to a man.
Yeah, I should probably be dead
after that.
Funny thing, though,
when you're immortal,
it doesn't happen that way.
Taking a header
off a waterfall...
just fine.
Male pattern baldness.
Well, nothing beautiful
lasts forever.
Hello, New Salem and
happy Halloween.
Or as we like to say,
Hell Hallow's Eve.
What you see behind me is the
infamous Lantern Parade going on
now, this is the route to go
through the middle of the town
and stops at the Psycho
Tronic FM radio station.
Now, I've been told that trick
or treating goes until 11 p.m.,
mayor's orders, but it should
be a record evening,
so make sure you check your
candy and stay safe out there.
Anyway, these days I'm
shacked up with some other
fangers like me.
Hey. hot stuff!
- Hey, what's up girl?
900 years of life
and I still somehow
end up as a fucking roadie.
Oh, well,
what the fuck else
am I going to do?
I got all the time in the world.
Open your throat bitch.
- Fuck you.
- Bitches.
Let's go! Now!
- Hey! What the fuck
are you doing, bitch!
- Oh he called you a bitch.
- Thanks for the compliment!
- And the donation!
How much we get this time?
Almost a full tank.
Yo, can we get a motel?
Cuz you guys fucking reek.
- What?
- Yeah.
All y'all fucking reek.
Can't hear you bitch.
I know a place evil stays
A place that stinks
of putrid sin.
Yeah!
- Yeah!
The roll of darkness
creeping in.
The end of existence!
The urge to devour.
Between you and me,
Living forever kind of sucks
after a little while.
You start to get bored.
So I decided to start a rock
band called
the Virginia Bitches.
Will you remember me!
Hey what the fuck?
Back the fuck off meatsack.
Where's Morgan?
She is indisposed.
Hmm.
She's on the toilet.
Morgan, what the fuck, dude?
What is... We
gotta. We gotta go!
You can't do- what the fuck?
Not here. Get off of him!
What?!
- We gotta go.
- It's just like a quickie.
We got a good thing
going for us.
And if you keep leaving a blood
trail everywhere we go,
words gonna spread.
Oh, fuck off, I was starving.
He wanted to meet the band.
The band.
If you keep eating all of
our fans, who's going to come to
our shows?
Stopping at the morgue later,
restock.
You're so much fun.
Get yourself together. Let's go.
Okay crew,
we got a three hour drive
after this quick meeting.
What meeting?
- I need a roadie.
You ladies are, uh, how
should I put this...
a lot to handle.
I could use some help.
- Hey!
I mean, I guess we could
use some extra hands.
Can we eat him?
No! You think I like cleaning up
after all of you alone?
Please don't eat the help.
Don't play with
your food, bitch.
You guys are boring.
You're boring, you're boring.
You're especially boring,
You're boring Jerry.
- Boring Jerry.
From now on, just boring Jerry.
- Boring Jerry.
How long you've been boring
Jerry? 200 years. 300 years.
Oh my God I hope somebody
fucking kills me.
Don't tell me you're
the fucking guy.
Uh. Yes, sir.
- Fucking seriously?
Alright.
Let's get it over with before
that jacket falls apart I guess.
Yeah, uh, so
I worked at a hardware store
six months, until I...
Well, sort of, kind of,
crashed a forklift.
But that was because I
was tired and overworked.
I will work my ass off
to get out of the shit town.
Obviously.
This is my first interview at
midnight ever, by the way.
It's fairly...
Strange, right?
Yeah let's just say I'm
a little bit of a night owl.
Hey! Uhm...
I don't think you can
do that in here.
So you got a family?
- Uhm.
No, I mean, no family.
That's the skinny of it?
- Well-
- Actually shut the fuck up,
I don't care.
Continue.
Well, you won't be disappointed.
That's what I like to hear.
So, uhm...
what is the gig?
Roadie work, tour with
the girls, carry their shit.
And if you're lucky enough tune
a guitar once in a while.
Hi, guys. Are we ready to order?
Yeah let me get a bacon
cheeseburger with everything but
tomato, please.
Side of fries?
- Yes.
And can I have some ketchup
on the side,
- Sure can.
And for you?
Leave it.
Dylan, I need you to drink this.
Seriously?
Oh, yeah I don't see why this is
necessary for the interview,
but okay.
Oh, I'm fucking with you.
Oh, okay.
So you don't want any tomato
on your hamburger?
Never liked them,
- But you want ketchup
with your fries?
I guess so.
Does have a different taste,
I suppose.
Yeah and I don't
like the way a tomato,
like, takes over the
whole burger, you know.
Doesn't an onion do that?
- Not in the same way.
Why, because it's an onion.
And you like the taste of onion?
I mean, I suppose.
Is this a test?
A long time ago.
Shit.
A real long fucking
time ago, actually.
Rich people used have dishes
made of pewter.
You know what happens
when you put tomato on pewter?
What?
The acid in the fruit
causes the lead to
bleed out of the metal.
Slowly killing the person over
time with heavy metal poisoning.
Because of this,
for a long time, wealthy people
thought that tomatoes
were poisonous.
I heard of that, I think.
You know what poor people
were doing this entire time.
Probably eating tomatoes.
That's right.
They were eating fucking
tomatoes. For 400 years,
this went on completely
unnoticed by the ruling class.
And do you know why?
- Why?
Because no one gives a shit
about something
killing poor people.
She's right.
Okay, ladies, what do you think?
Welcome to the clan, Dylan.
My name's Kate.
Hi Kate. Nice to meet you.
God, Dylan, don't make it weird.
I'm sorry. Hey, what's up?
All right, everybody.
Dylan's the new bitch,
so stop asking me to do shit.
So, do you have any
special set of skills?
No. Not really.
Should I?
Hello delicious.
Let's not kill
the help just yet.
Hey, so we got an errand to run.
You ready for your first test?
Yeah. Born ready.
Yes.
Is this a venue?
Get ready to pop that cherry.
Pop. Pop the. The what?
It's all good, I got him.
We will be the lookouts.
Yo, guys,
we should have shotguns.
No, that is totally
unnecessary and
dramatic, but I like
where your head's at.
Is it on?
Let's go.
Be right back!
Dylan,
you smoke weed?
Oh, I'm not sure.
No, not not really.
Don't say sure.
A man who's not
sure is not a doer.
Are you a follower or a doer?
I'm a doer.
Dylan, do you smoke weed?
Yes, I do.
Good answer.
Now smoke yourself into
a chiller personality.
Holy cow!
I can't see shit in this thing.
- I mean,
why are we even wearing masks?
They can't see us
in a recording.
- Jerry won't know.
- Should we just take them off.
- Jerry's boring anyway.
- Fucking Jerry.
Wow.
Huh?
Someone had a little
party in here.
Pretty sick place to party.
Jo
get the blood from the freezer.
I smell something close.
What is it?
It's who.
[excited yelling)
Well, well, well,
what do we have here?
Some late night takeout.
No, no, no,
bitch. Do not eat that.
Something fucked
up happened here.
I agree with Jo.
You don't know
where that's been.
They're boring.
Cause of death.
Having sex too many times.
Girl same.
Ooh la la.
Look who we've got here.
What did you do to my friend?
She's going to die.
Oh, this is something
we don't see often.
No.
What did you do to my friend?
Oh, she's gonna stab you first.
We could use a fourth.
Seriously? Here?
It's not like you help
with the gear princess.
My friend Abby. What
did you do to her?
Bitch, chill, we just got here.
Fuck.
No way.
You don't play bass
by chance do you?
What?
Fuck it.
So we should bury her.
Ooh, ooh, my favorite cemetery
is across the street.
That.
Perfect. Let's go.
These are mine.
Doesn't help with the bodies.
Doesn't help with the gear.
My God.
Jerry.
It's bedtime.
Come on.
Hey, this is,
this is deep enough, right?
Still a bit freaked out about
why we're even doing this.
Yeah it's fine.
It's part of
the transformation Dylan.
Wait.
- The what?
- Dylan,
shut the fuck up
and bury this girl.
I'm totally going
to jail for this.
Fucking pussy!
You know what? It's all good.
Dead chicks. Morgues.
I'm rolling with it.
- Dylan,
relax.
You're going to get a paycheck.
We're gonna go get some sleep.
Like a hotel.
No, we're gonna go
sleep in the van.
You're going to sleep
in the cemetery.
Keep an eye on
our friend down there.
You want me to guard
the dead chick?
Yes! And don't wake us up
until the sun goes down.
Jerry it's like,
five in the morning.
Dude that's like 13 hours.
Weren't you just bragging
about being a badass?
It's obvious, isn't it?
Yeah. Yeah, sure.
Don't say that.
We just went over this.
- Fuck. Got it.
Just watch the fucking corpse.
Hey, siphon some gas
while you're at it.
Throw that fucking
jacket in there.
Bitch! I thought
I hid those from you.
Blood slut.
Alright buddy.
I've had a good run.
Where am I?
In a cemetery, in a shitty town
called New Salem.
Am I alive?
I can't answer that for you.
You?
This is all a little new
and crazy, if you ask me.
I'm not feeling like myself,
and you're kind of cute.
Uh, hey!
Well hello pretty lady.
What the fuck did you do to me?
She looks way better like this.
- Yeah.
She is so hot.
- Yeah.
I think you're a vampire.
Whoa whoa whoa.
- No.
Dylan.
- Dylan.
We don't say that word.
We say fanger.
Fanger? Okay.
Hey, Marie.
Calm down. Okay.
You're new to this.
Take a few deep breaths.
I'm so hungry.
I have a blood pack
for now. Trust me.
You'll have fun later.
Jesus. Calm down, tiger.
Jerry, I got this.
We found you in a morgue.
We're traveling metal band.
We need a bass player.
I'm Kate, this is Jo, Morgan,
and Jerry.
And Dylan.
- The fuck?
- Okay, thanks.
And Dylan.
So, like Twilight vampires or
more like Lost Boys?
I mean, Fangers.
Do I look like I watch TV?
- Uhm...
No. Probably not.
We all met Jerry
a long time ago.
Morgan and Jo,
they turned more recently.
I'd say maybe 80 years ago?
You're making me feel old.
So, vampires in a rock band.
Metal band.
We're a fuckin metal band.
We're a metal radio bitch.
We could use another member.
I don't play any instruments.
Literally anyone can play
the bass you'll be fine.
That's true.
We travel by night,
sleep during the day
and make money on the road,
and you pretty much never know
what's going to happen next,
which is what makes
it so thrilling.
So...
What do you say?
What other choice do I have?
No.
You were dead already.
Technically, we did you a favor.
If you,
want to split, though, I guess
we can't hold it against you.
There's a, truck stop
right down the street.
Plenty of fatties
for you to gorge on.
You could basically
get a head start.
And we are one hour
from Crimson City.
Then at 9:30,
we go on at Abyss Underground!
Yeah!
Wait, can I be a vampire?
Dylan, that is an honor
you have to earn.
Oh, shit. Definitely Lost Boys.
You know, you
chicks are badass, by the way.
It's not even-
- Let the Right One In.
Yeah.
- Child.
That's more my style.
Wait. Okay, so vampires
yet I've seen fangs like once.
Yeah we only pop fang
when things get interesting.
Alright. Yeah.
I'll take good care of you.
- Maybe.
- Probably not.
Good luck.
Let's hit it.
Okay, ladies, it's showtime.
Kate start a sound check.
Jo, Dylan, grab some guitars.
Morgan, I know drum
set suck but...
Marie the bass is
like two notes.
Just vibe out and
the audience will vibe out.
Try to look sexy.
Follow Kate's lead.
Holy shit.
If it ain't fucking
Jerry and his, uh,,,
bitches.
Carl you fat piece of shit.
How are you?
- I'm hanging in brother.
I'm hanging in.
Trying to look as cool as you.
I'm also trying to
pack this joint out.
I don't suppose you all sold
any tickets for me?
Nah, man, we're light
years past that game.
Brother nobody's light years
past that game.
It's the only game left
unless you're on a major tour.
Yeah, well...
They're ready to hit the stage.
Well have a good show,
and you come see me after
the show. All right?
Hey, we don't leave
until I get my money.
Of course. Who do you
think your fucking with?
I'll see you after the show.
I got some business
I gotta take care of alright.
Fucking hate that guy.
Should we kill him?
- Yes, please.
This is through?
Yeah, you put the string
in the string shaped thing.
Don't be shy.
I just jam it in there.
See you're stringing a guitar.
Not thinking of banging
your cousin for the first time.
Relax.
Immigrant Song playing
Check check-ow.
Hello, hello, hello.
Immigrant Song continues
Yo what do I do?
You're getting there
bitch, confidence!
Like what, like this?
Literally my grandma can play
the bass,
like you're gonna be fine.
Hey you got this!
Bitches lets dance.
Yes!
The Serpent's Chord
by Virginia Bitches
Hey I'm Sue,
you got the cash?
You got what I came for?
Jesus. Of course
We're chill here.
There's no need for any trouble.
Follow me.
This is the one?
- Yes.
There are six other dead bodies
that came in the same night.
Where did they find them?
Out in the back of a concert
venue in a back alley.
Check this out.
Who are you?
I didn't catch your name.
Van Helsing.
But I was never here? Was I?
Okay, so how'd I do?
Like Morgan said,
anyone can play bass.
You fucking killed it.
Dylan, Dylan, Dylan.
Dylan!
Give me the fucking guitar.
Yeah.
Good boy.
You feeling it yet?
- I think I am a little.
Hey, Kate, our Lord and Savior
lead songstress.
- Yes?
Are you going to help us
with the fucking gear?
What do you think I'm doing?
Let's go.
I guess I gotta go find Carl.
Jerry!
Everybody in there
is dead to you.
Wasn't even a smartphone.
Hey, why don't
you teeth on it bitch.
Oh. That's it.
Come on.
Hey fat Carl you fuck.
You better not be getting
your dick sucked back here.
Oh, shit.
I'm sorry honey,
How the fuck are you going to
come barging in here on me
like this?
At least let me fucking
finish next time.
Oh what the fuck?!
Oh, Jesus Christ,
- Looks like he's finished.
All right, honey,
beat it. Get out of here.
I don't have time
for your fucking games, man.
Jesus fucking Christ.
Come on.
Yeah.
Oh, God. Not again.
Again.
That has got to be the tiniest
dick I have ever seen.
Yeah, if it was any smaller,
it'd be in his ass,
Where's our fucking money?
Here it is,
I got your fucking money.
Alright let's see.
There's ten, five. We said 100,
right? Give me a minute
I gotta...
It's supposed to be 500.
500? What are you outta
your fucking minds?
You guys didn't sell enough
tickets. No pre-sales.
500...
Oh, don't give me
that fucking bullshit.
This place is packed
to the brim.
- Sit tight.
Give me five minutes.
I'll be right back.
Or...
I could rip is testicles right
out off of his body.
Yeah, she's really good at that.
No, that doesn't
fucking sound good.
Chill out, big man.
alright, what the fuck?
Talking about. breaking
my nuts off, are you nuts?
Look I'll tell you what.
You just give me
five minutes. Relax.
No testicle ripping.
I got some more money in my car,
and I'll be right back, alright?
Alright.
But in five minutes,
either we're going to have
that money, or
I'm going to have a new pair of
testicles hanging from my
rearview mirror.
I knew you would cool off.
You got a badass shirt
but you're actually a nice guy.
You, I don't know.
Shit.
Crazy bitch.
Pretty but you're
not all that smart.
I got money in my car, my money.
Dumb bitch.
Oh. Shit.
Fucking Charlie.
Charlie, you cock sucker!
Where the hell are you?
Pick up your phone.
Listen, I want you to meet
me at the gas station.
I'm gonna pick up
the rest of my money.
Hey and call me back after nine.
All right?
I get free minutes after that
Prick.
Where are you, you crazy bitch?!
Fuck you!
Oh shit!
No! No!
Stay the fuck away from me!
Goddammit.
Fuck you!
Bet that was tasty.
Girl, that was impressive.
So hot.
Did he have any money on him?
That's all that's left of Carl?
My bad.
Don't worry about it.
That's a bonus.
I hated that guy.
Check this out.
- All right. Much appreciated
Thanks for the tip, Carl.
Hey! A vibrator!
- Ew!
Carl led a very
interesting life.
Does this happen often?
We don't have any money.
We don't have any gas.
We don't have any gas. We stay
in the same place too long.
Things can go sideways quick.
Okay.
No, no, no, Dylan.
Absolutely not.
Just keep driving Dylan.
- No!
We can't just leave her here.
That is problems
right there. No. No.
No, no, no, we need
to pick her up.
- No we don't.
- Yes, yes, yes.
- We're not picking her up.
We're picking her up.
- Jerry, no.
No, no, no, Jerry.
Some woman walking down
the middle of the road covered
in blood.
That is problems.
- No!
Fuck!
Jerry, she's not moving.
What the fuck?
Jerry! Jerry!
- We can't just leave her.
You can!
- No!
She's pregnant.
We're not just
gonna leave her out here.
- Jerry, this fucked.
- I'm not touching her.
We're doing this!
Get the door.
Lay her down here.
We need to get
her to a hospital.
Fuck.
This is still my first day!
Are we gonna take
a vote on this?
No, we need to go to
the hospital now.
I think her tongue
has been ripped out.
Dude, she doesn't have
a fucking tongue.
Who did this to you honey?
Nope. Nope, nope. Shut up.
This is exactly the kind of shit
we do not want to be
involved in.
- Agreed.
Thank you.
We can drop her off
and get some help.
No Dylan, pedal to the metal.
Get us there now!
If you guys are vamps,
why don't you just heal her?
You don't know what
you're talking about.
It's your first day, Dylan.
It looks like she doesn't
want to be in this town at all.
Oh fuck.
All right, everybody be cool.
I got this.
Nowadays,
there's all kinds of creatures
of the night prowling.
You just gotta figure out
who's hunting who.
License and registration?
Yeah. Of course.
Here you go.
Registration.
Jerry...
Old enemies
are like old friends.
- I don't think we have
the registration
on the vehicle.
You pick up right
where you left off.
Yo, ain't no way hot
cross buns is a fucking cop.
Vampires aren't the only
things that live forever.
Look at these guys.
Haven't aged a day.
Gotta ask him about
that skincare routine.
Probably sirens don't look
smart enough to be warlocks.
Everybody step out
of the van now.
Fuck, well, what do we do?
Jerry? Jerry,
that guy smells weird.
He's not wearing a fucking
shirt. He's not a meat sack.
Meat sack?
It's our food, humans,
they smell different.
This is your last chance.
Step out of the van pronto.
Throw the keys out
the window. Now!
Okay. Okay, officer, we're...
We're coming out of the van-
- No!
We're coming out of the vehicle.
Ain't nobody getting out of
this fucking van.
Okay, okay.
Whoa!
Y'all not hear me?
Get out of the fucking van!
Get out of the fucking van!
Now! All of you.
Punch it! Go go go go go go.
Tell me you at least have your-
Go get 'em boys.
Hunting time. Let's go!
You remember him?
The fat one from the waterfall.
Boy with the fangs boss.
Over them falls
I watched him die.
Let's send him back to hell.
Hey, what you're doing?
Jerry, what the fuck's
going on with Kate?
Just drive.
- I got this.
- Kate no!
- Kate no!
- I said stop!
What is she doing?
We're all a little special,
and Kate,
Kate is something else.
She had magic on her side
before we even met.
- What the hell?
Yee haw!
Never driven bitch!
Calm down.
Fuck.
- Is she okay?
- We need to do some
damage control.
Bitches.
- You all right back there?
- We're fine.
The hospital is right there.
Come on ladies.
Watch the van.
Are you okay?
Everybody's okay?
Okay then.
Jo?
Let's go.
Not all meat
sacks are for eating.
Sometimes when someone's been
through enough pain,
they can make a good friend.
I can't do this.
That's too much.
Fuck!
Call everybody!
- Fucking thing almost hit me.
Call every fucking unit!
They gonna pay for this.
They gonna fucking pay for this!
Oh good.
They're all dressed
up for Halloween.
Creepy.
Okay, kiddos, what the
fuck is going on here?
Ma'am, she needs some help.
Tell me why I shouldn't
kill every single
one of these fucking
meat sacks right now.
- Let's just wait
and see what the fuck
is going on.
Why do they all have white eyes?
Fucking fuck.
Jerry, where are you guys?
Lilith is
the mother of all monsters.
And Kate,
Kate is her actual daughter.
I swore an oath to Lillith
that I would protect
her daughter at any cost.
No matter what it took,
she would be safe.
But I broke that promise.
That's how she became one of us.
We're coming for you.
Jerry, where are you guys?
Show Marie where you are.
Marie!
You have to show Marie.
Marie!
The bassist.
Focus your thoughts
on your dark master.
Marie!
What was that?
What was what?
I didn't say anything.
Hey, hey, when are
we getting out of here?
Whoa.
I forgot how strong I was
when I first turned.
Maybe you can squeeze us
outta here.
Marie!
Kate. Kate's calling to me.
Yeah, she does that.
Ah, God...
Fuck.
my leg.
- I wasn't expecting that.
- God.
It happens a lot.
Fucking shit.
Did you get weird crazy
color shit things from Kate?
No, I would have said something.
Okay. What about?
What about Jerry?
I don't know, I can smell him-
- Shit, shit, shit, shit.
Let's go this way. God I want
to light this place on fire.
Can we?
Jerry.
Jerry.
Jerry!
We
are gathered here
for the coming of
the Almightiest God, God!
Our one above all.
Our Savior.
from blood he was born,
and from blood
he is
reborn!
We want the blood.
Give us the blood.
We want the child.
Give us the child.
Now beg.
I want to hear you beg.
Beg! We want the child! Beg!
This baby is for pain.
Give us the blood!
Give us the blood!
The one the almighty!
I will live forever.
You will live forever!
You will live forever! With
the God, the almighty,
the all masterful!
Pain!
What the fuck is it?
It's a ceremony.
For what?
- The rebirth of the Warlock.
The Warlock.
Every 150 years Cain is reborn.
Aww mama bear so proud.
So good!
Jerry.
Jerry.
Jesus Jo get me out
of these damn things.
I'm glad you're okay.
Morgan? Kate?
- Haven't found them yet.
I mean, did they not bring
Kate down here with you?
Not unless they turned
her into a husky.
A what?
- What?
Something making a noise
out there in the dark.
Oh, what is this?
- Yikes.
Human trafficking.
- Not in my experience,
but, you know, a lot of
shit's changed since the 70s.
What's that?
My grandma used to let me play
with one of these when
I was a kid.
Can't believe they still make
these crazy, creepy ass dolls.
- Get it out of my face.
I hear breathing,
Something's coming.
Marie!
Hold on!
Where'd she go?
She just joined the band.
Marie!
Oh my knees.
Jesus Christ. What the fuck?
- What are you doing here
touching my things?
Oh, my God, I didn't
know they were yours.
How do you want to handle this?
I can hear you assholes.
So I wouldn't dare
try anything else.
Or I'll just split her in two.
- Okay hi!
I didn't know they
were your things, I
had no idea no
one was down here.
What's your name?
No one has asked me that in...
A very long time.
It's...
Maybelle Roux-
Something, it's been a while.
May. Can I call you May?
You're very strong.
You're hurting me.
Any time someone comes
down here for me, they hurt me.
May.
Are you human?
I think so, why?
No reason.
Smells like a kennel down here.
You have an
interesting smell as well.
We have a scent?
You smell different to me.
What do we smell like?
Dead blood.
That's, that's why
you guys are here. You.
You came to help me.
You found my letter for,
asking for help.
Oh, no no no no no, honey,
unfortunately, we just zigged
when we should have zagged,
and we wound up in this lovely
shithole
with you.
But no...May, May, May.
We have a common enemy.
Yeah, they captured us and
imprisoned us when we're
just trying
to get out of this shithole.
Take me with you.
I'm, I'm going crazy.
By myself down here.
I'm uhm,
I've tried more times than I can
remember to,
to get this off, but,
I wake up with a new set,
and I can't even pronounce
the words...
Come on.
Come on.
Alright May, you said you know
which way to go.
Lead the way girl.
Well I think this way.
Hands up!
On the wall now!
Hey, don't be a hero, man.
Stay right there.
Whoo!
Can we please keep
moving? Great.
Warning.
May stop!
Warning.
- Hurry.
Okay, back up, back up, back up.
- Take it off right now.
One second. Okay, May,
take a deep breath. Count down
with me, alright.
Three, two.
One. Oh!
Warning.
Y'all okay?
We gotta keep moving.
Hey.
Hey, look at me, look at me.
Your baby didn't make it, okay,
I know, I know, I know, I know.
Shh. Shh.
Listen, we gotta get
out of here, okay?
We have to go. Come on.
Alright darling,
we gonna have some fun.
Every monster
has an origin story.
From the heavens
behemoth will fall.
I'm over 900 years old,
but some things
are much...
much...
older.
Behold
the fall of man.
The stone of the behemoth.
It fell from the skies
to prey on the weakness of men.
Those who submit to its will
are given great power.
But there is a cost.
Alright baby give us the blood!
Sorry for interrupting.
I just wanted to know
what you felt like
being human again.
I'm getting used to it.
I think you're gonna be real
enthralled with this thing
we found.
What thing?
It's the daughter of Lilith.
She's got the mark.
Oh, I haven't encountered a
child of the Mistress
in a millennia.
We got her waiting on
you at the station.
Keep me fed,
or else I will feast on you,
next.
Yes sir.
Hey, Druid.
We're still searching
for some fangers.
Cain is regenerating and.
not at full power yet.
So you find them at all cost?
Psst.
Dylan.
Well, we have
the human with us now.
Is that the human that was
with the fangers?
Yeah, he's a part of that group.
Kill him.
Yes, sir.
Listen I'm not a fanger.
I'm not a fanger, man. Look.
Look at my teeth.
Shut the fuck up!
And get on the ground!
Please, listen calm down, man.
Shut the fuck up!
Get the fuck on the ground! Now!
- Calm down!
- It'll be over in a minute.
Hey Klaus, Klaus.
Shoot away from the car.
- No, no! Please no! Please!
No. Please no. Please.
Hey kid, kid, kid.
They ain't no police, all right?
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
I love you,
Dylan. I would break you in two.
God, this,
this...This was incredible.
Come on. Let's go.
I've never seen anything
like this before.
People have been coming
to this town for years,
but no one makes it out alive.
Yeah where is the road
we need to find a way out of
this place.
This is ridiculous.
It's a cult
that serves one purpose.
What?
To feed the one
they call Cain.
Okay who's Cain?
- Why the fuck did you have
that collar around your neck?
I don't know.
I smell food.
Oh. Are you?
- What's happening?
- I smell hot food.
Oh, God.
Shit.
This little tongue of hers
has the power to destroy us all.
So we have to find her.
Somewhere alright.
Say.
Find her,
find her and bring her to me.
Hey, stay low.
Stay low.
All right, so, listen,
this is what we're gonna do.
We're gonna go inside and get
cleaned up, try to find a phone.
Who are you going to call?
We're gonna call for help.
Help? Dylan, it's just us.
Shh. Morgan.
Listen, I got this, all right?
Look, just watch me, I got this.
Fucking Craigslist roadie.
Zombies
on parade, oh so sweet.
Jack-o-lanterns
glowing bright.
Casting shadows
in the night.
It's Halloween and
the children sing.
Swing, swing, swing.
Uhm.
Excuse me, ma'am, can we
can we use your phone?
Ma'am?
Ma'am, are you okay?
Hey! Go hide over there.
Hide next to that tree.
Right over there. Hide.
Oh. I'm sorry, I'm sorry,
I'm sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.
What happened here?
Dylan, are you all right?
Morgan, we need to go.
Oh okay Jerry.
Whoa whoa whoa whoa
whoa whoa whoa whoa.
Okay. This isn't
the Golden Corral.
Hey, hey, you don't know
where that food has been.
Hey!
You got a bit of
a situation on your face.
- Where'd the girl go?
- I left her outside.
It's that siren.
- What? What's a siren?
Do you know anything?
Can I enjoy one meal in peace?
You know what, just sit, sit.
Stay, stay. Be a good girl.
Sit. Stay.
I don't know anything Jerry.
- One meal in peace!
Yes, yes, please take your time.
Guns!
Get down!
Fire!
What do you mean you guns?
Get down bitch!
Alright!
Dylan try not to get shot.
Check please.
Alright everybody out the door!
Hurry come on, let's go.
Sir I got a bogey at 6 o'clock.
He's coming in hot.
He is not stopping!
Then take him the fuck out!
Marie!
- I can see her.
- Marie.
Oh, shit.
She's in pain.
- Where?
- All I can see is
chains. And blood.
Oh my God there is
a pile of tape.
Marie.
- Blackrock. Blackrock.
I know this place.
You do?
- Mhm.
I can take you.
Where are you!?
So this is the almighty
daughter of Lilith.
Come here.
No!
Look at them thangs grow back.
I'll rip your fucking face off.
You ain't going
to do a damn thing.
Oh really?
Let's see how strong you are.
Whoo!
Hell yeah!
You know you're going
to meet my master.
Fuck you!
Fuck this place!
Master.
Oh,
you're going to be so excited.
Master.
This is it.
What a dump.
The fight is on!
Place your bets baby!
Let's get it! Alright guys
we got a fight going on here!
We got a fight. Place your bets.
Place your bets.
Put 50K on the fanger.
- That's what I'm talking about.
What's a fanger?
It's slang for vampire.
Welcome. welcome.
Welcome.
Creatures of the night!
We got something real special
set up for your
viewing pleasure.
We got a vile,
fanger!
A real life daughter
from Lilith!
So I can say I'm pretty amped!
Coming all the way
from the isle of
Crete! The beast from the east.
The Wild Man!
Yeah!
One last time...
We want the blood!
Whoo!
We really doing this?
I have no
idea what that sound is.
Something wicked.
Kill her!
Yeah!
What the fuck is that?
Is that a minotaur?
That's a fucking minotaur.
No!
Fuck this!
What's with May man.
Her face is coming off!
What the shit is that?
Dylan back up! Back up!
Time to go.
- Where is Dylan?
- Did you know that May was
a werewolf?
Guy!
Good girl May.
I'm getting too
old for this shit.
Warning.
Warning.
Warning.
Flesh.
Life.
Do you know what preserves
the order of men?
Blood.
You gotta get me
outta here dude.
Oh, please I'll do
whatever you want.
You should be honored. You're
about to meet...
Cain.
Please don't.
Ah!
What the fuck?
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
Let me out!
Ah! No! Fuck!
Help me!
Who dares to disturb me.
In the spiritual plane.
I do.
Cain.
I summon thee.
Something's wrong.
Why am I not whole again?
Your metamorphosis
is incomplete.
You will die if you don't.
Don't what?
Tell me!
Feed.
You must
feed.
Fool.
The blood of Lillith,
rewards you with immortality.
I will not be levied by
you or Lillith.
I,
Cain,
am reborn.
- No stop!
No! Ah!
Dylan fucking figure it out.
What about May?
- I think she's doing fine on her own.
Drive, drive, drive!
- Remember when you crashed that forklift?
- Yes!
Why are they so juicy?
- Dylan!
Ew!
You know what, fuck these guys.
Use the wipers.
Shit!
Ah!
Oh fuck
- Is he okay?
- Try and get him.
Keep pressure on it.
We're going to get
you some help.
You turn me.
I'm not going to bite
your neck.
I'm kinda dying here.
It's kind of gay.
You can't say gay anymore Jerry.
Dylan, you are one of
the funniest motherfuckers
I have ever met.
I'm...I...
Sorry, kid, I just don't think
I have another one in me.
Jo, would you?
Thanks Jo.
Marie?
I can't, I can't.
Fuck it.
It's okay.
Go get the girl. Okay,
I got Dylan.
You're going to be okay, kid.
You're okay.
Let's go find that girl.
Move.
Who the fuck are you?
Where's Cain?
He's not-
Ah fuck! Shit!
- One.
Two.
- Blood chamber!
He's in the blood chamber!
Where is he?
Freeze.
- Level Four
Trunk or treat.
You're only supposed
to take one.
But it's the honor system.
You think this is too much?
No, I think it works.
You have to feed to heal.
- No. No!
You ever seen a pig fly?
Druid.
The threats from the south and
inside the compound.
Cover left flank.
Take men, no cost.
- Move it!
Go! Go!
No, don't get up.
You're going to want
to let that paint dry.
Hey, don't worry, honey.
We're running out of time.
Come on.
- I don't remember killing these ones.
- Yeah, I don't recognize these guys.
Attention!
Attention traitor. Y'all
know him is Jerry.
I know him as Jeremiah from
a long, long time ago.
He abandoned his company
and left them high and dry.
Now, the day he walks in here
with his bruised,
battered, and bloody bitches.
I just got one
message for y'all.
I'm coming.
For everybody.
Hey fuck you!
Alright,
which way are we going?
Hey, Jerry,
she wants to go that way.
- Sounds good to me.
A real Van Helsing.
In the flesh.
Stop the threat at
the south tower.
I hate Van Helsing!
Come on!
Die you bastard!
Alright alright. You got him.
You're good.
Let's go.
Talk about heavy metal.
Where is it?
What are you looking for?
Hi fangers.
I want this to be fair so
I ain't gonna scream.
We're the Virginia bitches.
You were.
Jerry!
Come on now. Let
me see that spark.
I'm going to rip
your fucking throat out.
Fuck you.
Aw. There she is.
You know you can't take it-
You bitch!
Oh Cain!
Cain!
Fuck this place. Let's go.
Come on!
We need to keep moving.
You hear that?
Fuck get down!
It's coming back.
This ain't gonna work
but I'll give it a shot.
Here, boy.
Hey guys!
I'm a fanger now!
Shit, Morgan!
Why did you just do that?
Do what?
You just risked
your life for all of us.
I love you.
Oh, wow.
That does not belong
to you anymore!
You murdered my baby!
I need blood.
Here, here.
I don't like teeth.
Like 'em.
- Fucking mint.
- Yeah.
Oh, shit.
Guys! Jerry! Jerry
needs help. Jerry!
Come on.
- Come on. Jerry!
Oh! Oh, God.
Don't worry,
I'm not that dead yet.
So you're a fanger now?
Yeah! The fucking
rush is amazing.
At least you didn't have to
sleep in a graveyard.
- Well. Not exactly.
Hey, who are you?
I'm Rip
Van Helsing.
Why did you help us back there?
- I'm on a mission.
- What fucking mission?
I'm not here for
you. I come for him.
There's a bounty on his head
and I came to collect.
I don't like you.
I don't fucking care.
Guys stop. Look.
What the fuck?
He's a warlock.
There's only one way
to take them out.
You gotta go for the eyes.
Yeah, this is weird as fuck.
I would like to get
back on the road.
Thank you.
Yeah.
Cheers.
Alright seat belts. Let's go!
Go Dylan!
Time to leave this party.
We'll revisit this band
thing after we have time to
regroup.
Virginia Bitches out.
How was your trip?
Mr. Van Helsing.
Wait here.
Your trip was a success.
It would seem.
Yeah you could say that.
What gifts have
you brought for me
young Van Helsing?
Where am I?
Let me out!
Let me out!
The head of the warlock
known as Cain.
As you requested.
Who is that?
Your payment awaits.
Thanks.
- Who's the girl?
She was with a group of vampires
that I encountered
while I was on the task.
Who are you? What?
Do you know who I am?
Call me,
Dracula.
Do you know where to find them?
Yeah.
Yeah, I do.
War is a haunting abyss,
that engulfs humanity
in profound darkness,
tearing apart communities
and families with a ferocity
that resonates through history.
Brother turned against brother.
Its citizens found themselves
in a maelstrom of violence
fueled by ideological divisions.
The haunting echoes of
battles reverberated
through the once quiet towns,
leaving scars
that extended far beyond
the battlefield.
Marked by gruesome encounters in
the dehumanizing effects of war
unfolded with devastating
consequences.
Families were torn asunder,
cities reduced to rubble,
and the very ideals
became obscured
in the haze of bloodshed.
I've seen a thousand years
of human kind's bullshit.
Dealing with this.
Medic!
but fuck it.
Come on, get up!
Move dammit. Come on dammit.
Did I mention I was a vampire?
But in modern times,
we say fangers.
Sunlight sucks.
It doesn't kill you.
Not right away at least.
We heal pretty fast.
Running away from your company,
ain't ya?
What's it to ya?
Hands up.
You coming with us.
I don't know if
you want to do that.
He didn't even flinch.
Whoa! Buddy!
He's running away, hey boys!
Funny thing is old boy,
I ain't never seen you before.
Living high off
the cotton corporal.
You see that burning over there?
- I do.
- Well that used to be Atlanta.
Now it's time for
somebody to pay the piper.
It's a shame too.
I just got no time for heroes.
He got fangs boss!
Tell the devil Druid sent ya.
You know what's crazy?
I'm actually a really
good swimmer.
Surviving the plague
in the 14th century,
will do that to a man.
Yeah, I should probably be dead
after that.
Funny thing, though,
when you're immortal,
it doesn't happen that way.
Taking a header
off a waterfall...
just fine.
Male pattern baldness.
Well, nothing beautiful
lasts forever.
Hello, New Salem and
happy Halloween.
Or as we like to say,
Hell Hallow's Eve.
What you see behind me is the
infamous Lantern Parade going on
now, this is the route to go
through the middle of the town
and stops at the Psycho
Tronic FM radio station.
Now, I've been told that trick
or treating goes until 11 p.m.,
mayor's orders, but it should
be a record evening,
so make sure you check your
candy and stay safe out there.
Anyway, these days I'm
shacked up with some other
fangers like me.
Hey. hot stuff!
- Hey, what's up girl?
900 years of life
and I still somehow
end up as a fucking roadie.
Oh, well,
what the fuck else
am I going to do?
I got all the time in the world.
Open your throat bitch.
- Fuck you.
- Bitches.
Let's go! Now!
- Hey! What the fuck
are you doing, bitch!
- Oh he called you a bitch.
- Thanks for the compliment!
- And the donation!
How much we get this time?
Almost a full tank.
Yo, can we get a motel?
Cuz you guys fucking reek.
- What?
- Yeah.
All y'all fucking reek.
Can't hear you bitch.
I know a place evil stays
A place that stinks
of putrid sin.
Yeah!
- Yeah!
The roll of darkness
creeping in.
The end of existence!
The urge to devour.
Between you and me,
Living forever kind of sucks
after a little while.
You start to get bored.
So I decided to start a rock
band called
the Virginia Bitches.
Will you remember me!
Hey what the fuck?
Back the fuck off meatsack.
Where's Morgan?
She is indisposed.
Hmm.
She's on the toilet.
Morgan, what the fuck, dude?
What is... We
gotta. We gotta go!
You can't do- what the fuck?
Not here. Get off of him!
What?!
- We gotta go.
- It's just like a quickie.
We got a good thing
going for us.
And if you keep leaving a blood
trail everywhere we go,
words gonna spread.
Oh, fuck off, I was starving.
He wanted to meet the band.
The band.
If you keep eating all of
our fans, who's going to come to
our shows?
Stopping at the morgue later,
restock.
You're so much fun.
Get yourself together. Let's go.
Okay crew,
we got a three hour drive
after this quick meeting.
What meeting?
- I need a roadie.
You ladies are, uh, how
should I put this...
a lot to handle.
I could use some help.
- Hey!
I mean, I guess we could
use some extra hands.
Can we eat him?
No! You think I like cleaning up
after all of you alone?
Please don't eat the help.
Don't play with
your food, bitch.
You guys are boring.
You're boring, you're boring.
You're especially boring,
You're boring Jerry.
- Boring Jerry.
From now on, just boring Jerry.
- Boring Jerry.
How long you've been boring
Jerry? 200 years. 300 years.
Oh my God I hope somebody
fucking kills me.
Don't tell me you're
the fucking guy.
Uh. Yes, sir.
- Fucking seriously?
Alright.
Let's get it over with before
that jacket falls apart I guess.
Yeah, uh, so
I worked at a hardware store
six months, until I...
Well, sort of, kind of,
crashed a forklift.
But that was because I
was tired and overworked.
I will work my ass off
to get out of the shit town.
Obviously.
This is my first interview at
midnight ever, by the way.
It's fairly...
Strange, right?
Yeah let's just say I'm
a little bit of a night owl.
Hey! Uhm...
I don't think you can
do that in here.
So you got a family?
- Uhm.
No, I mean, no family.
That's the skinny of it?
- Well-
- Actually shut the fuck up,
I don't care.
Continue.
Well, you won't be disappointed.
That's what I like to hear.
So, uhm...
what is the gig?
Roadie work, tour with
the girls, carry their shit.
And if you're lucky enough tune
a guitar once in a while.
Hi, guys. Are we ready to order?
Yeah let me get a bacon
cheeseburger with everything but
tomato, please.
Side of fries?
- Yes.
And can I have some ketchup
on the side,
- Sure can.
And for you?
Leave it.
Dylan, I need you to drink this.
Seriously?
Oh, yeah I don't see why this is
necessary for the interview,
but okay.
Oh, I'm fucking with you.
Oh, okay.
So you don't want any tomato
on your hamburger?
Never liked them,
- But you want ketchup
with your fries?
I guess so.
Does have a different taste,
I suppose.
Yeah and I don't
like the way a tomato,
like, takes over the
whole burger, you know.
Doesn't an onion do that?
- Not in the same way.
Why, because it's an onion.
And you like the taste of onion?
I mean, I suppose.
Is this a test?
A long time ago.
Shit.
A real long fucking
time ago, actually.
Rich people used have dishes
made of pewter.
You know what happens
when you put tomato on pewter?
What?
The acid in the fruit
causes the lead to
bleed out of the metal.
Slowly killing the person over
time with heavy metal poisoning.
Because of this,
for a long time, wealthy people
thought that tomatoes
were poisonous.
I heard of that, I think.
You know what poor people
were doing this entire time.
Probably eating tomatoes.
That's right.
They were eating fucking
tomatoes. For 400 years,
this went on completely
unnoticed by the ruling class.
And do you know why?
- Why?
Because no one gives a shit
about something
killing poor people.
She's right.
Okay, ladies, what do you think?
Welcome to the clan, Dylan.
My name's Kate.
Hi Kate. Nice to meet you.
God, Dylan, don't make it weird.
I'm sorry. Hey, what's up?
All right, everybody.
Dylan's the new bitch,
so stop asking me to do shit.
So, do you have any
special set of skills?
No. Not really.
Should I?
Hello delicious.
Let's not kill
the help just yet.
Hey, so we got an errand to run.
You ready for your first test?
Yeah. Born ready.
Yes.
Is this a venue?
Get ready to pop that cherry.
Pop. Pop the. The what?
It's all good, I got him.
We will be the lookouts.
Yo, guys,
we should have shotguns.
No, that is totally
unnecessary and
dramatic, but I like
where your head's at.
Is it on?
Let's go.
Be right back!
Dylan,
you smoke weed?
Oh, I'm not sure.
No, not not really.
Don't say sure.
A man who's not
sure is not a doer.
Are you a follower or a doer?
I'm a doer.
Dylan, do you smoke weed?
Yes, I do.
Good answer.
Now smoke yourself into
a chiller personality.
Holy cow!
I can't see shit in this thing.
- I mean,
why are we even wearing masks?
They can't see us
in a recording.
- Jerry won't know.
- Should we just take them off.
- Jerry's boring anyway.
- Fucking Jerry.
Wow.
Huh?
Someone had a little
party in here.
Pretty sick place to party.
Jo
get the blood from the freezer.
I smell something close.
What is it?
It's who.
[excited yelling)
Well, well, well,
what do we have here?
Some late night takeout.
No, no, no,
bitch. Do not eat that.
Something fucked
up happened here.
I agree with Jo.
You don't know
where that's been.
They're boring.
Cause of death.
Having sex too many times.
Girl same.
Ooh la la.
Look who we've got here.
What did you do to my friend?
She's going to die.
Oh, this is something
we don't see often.
No.
What did you do to my friend?
Oh, she's gonna stab you first.
We could use a fourth.
Seriously? Here?
It's not like you help
with the gear princess.
My friend Abby. What
did you do to her?
Bitch, chill, we just got here.
Fuck.
No way.
You don't play bass
by chance do you?
What?
Fuck it.
So we should bury her.
Ooh, ooh, my favorite cemetery
is across the street.
That.
Perfect. Let's go.
These are mine.
Doesn't help with the bodies.
Doesn't help with the gear.
My God.
Jerry.
It's bedtime.
Come on.
Hey, this is,
this is deep enough, right?
Still a bit freaked out about
why we're even doing this.
Yeah it's fine.
It's part of
the transformation Dylan.
Wait.
- The what?
- Dylan,
shut the fuck up
and bury this girl.
I'm totally going
to jail for this.
Fucking pussy!
You know what? It's all good.
Dead chicks. Morgues.
I'm rolling with it.
- Dylan,
relax.
You're going to get a paycheck.
We're gonna go get some sleep.
Like a hotel.
No, we're gonna go
sleep in the van.
You're going to sleep
in the cemetery.
Keep an eye on
our friend down there.
You want me to guard
the dead chick?
Yes! And don't wake us up
until the sun goes down.
Jerry it's like,
five in the morning.
Dude that's like 13 hours.
Weren't you just bragging
about being a badass?
It's obvious, isn't it?
Yeah. Yeah, sure.
Don't say that.
We just went over this.
- Fuck. Got it.
Just watch the fucking corpse.
Hey, siphon some gas
while you're at it.
Throw that fucking
jacket in there.
Bitch! I thought
I hid those from you.
Blood slut.
Alright buddy.
I've had a good run.
Where am I?
In a cemetery, in a shitty town
called New Salem.
Am I alive?
I can't answer that for you.
You?
This is all a little new
and crazy, if you ask me.
I'm not feeling like myself,
and you're kind of cute.
Uh, hey!
Well hello pretty lady.
What the fuck did you do to me?
She looks way better like this.
- Yeah.
She is so hot.
- Yeah.
I think you're a vampire.
Whoa whoa whoa.
- No.
Dylan.
- Dylan.
We don't say that word.
We say fanger.
Fanger? Okay.
Hey, Marie.
Calm down. Okay.
You're new to this.
Take a few deep breaths.
I'm so hungry.
I have a blood pack
for now. Trust me.
You'll have fun later.
Jesus. Calm down, tiger.
Jerry, I got this.
We found you in a morgue.
We're traveling metal band.
We need a bass player.
I'm Kate, this is Jo, Morgan,
and Jerry.
And Dylan.
- The fuck?
- Okay, thanks.
And Dylan.
So, like Twilight vampires or
more like Lost Boys?
I mean, Fangers.
Do I look like I watch TV?
- Uhm...
No. Probably not.
We all met Jerry
a long time ago.
Morgan and Jo,
they turned more recently.
I'd say maybe 80 years ago?
You're making me feel old.
So, vampires in a rock band.
Metal band.
We're a fuckin metal band.
We're a metal radio bitch.
We could use another member.
I don't play any instruments.
Literally anyone can play
the bass you'll be fine.
That's true.
We travel by night,
sleep during the day
and make money on the road,
and you pretty much never know
what's going to happen next,
which is what makes
it so thrilling.
So...
What do you say?
What other choice do I have?
No.
You were dead already.
Technically, we did you a favor.
If you,
want to split, though, I guess
we can't hold it against you.
There's a, truck stop
right down the street.
Plenty of fatties
for you to gorge on.
You could basically
get a head start.
And we are one hour
from Crimson City.
Then at 9:30,
we go on at Abyss Underground!
Yeah!
Wait, can I be a vampire?
Dylan, that is an honor
you have to earn.
Oh, shit. Definitely Lost Boys.
You know, you
chicks are badass, by the way.
It's not even-
- Let the Right One In.
Yeah.
- Child.
That's more my style.
Wait. Okay, so vampires
yet I've seen fangs like once.
Yeah we only pop fang
when things get interesting.
Alright. Yeah.
I'll take good care of you.
- Maybe.
- Probably not.
Good luck.
Let's hit it.
Okay, ladies, it's showtime.
Kate start a sound check.
Jo, Dylan, grab some guitars.
Morgan, I know drum
set suck but...
Marie the bass is
like two notes.
Just vibe out and
the audience will vibe out.
Try to look sexy.
Follow Kate's lead.
Holy shit.
If it ain't fucking
Jerry and his, uh,,,
bitches.
Carl you fat piece of shit.
How are you?
- I'm hanging in brother.
I'm hanging in.
Trying to look as cool as you.
I'm also trying to
pack this joint out.
I don't suppose you all sold
any tickets for me?
Nah, man, we're light
years past that game.
Brother nobody's light years
past that game.
It's the only game left
unless you're on a major tour.
Yeah, well...
They're ready to hit the stage.
Well have a good show,
and you come see me after
the show. All right?
Hey, we don't leave
until I get my money.
Of course. Who do you
think your fucking with?
I'll see you after the show.
I got some business
I gotta take care of alright.
Fucking hate that guy.
Should we kill him?
- Yes, please.
This is through?
Yeah, you put the string
in the string shaped thing.
Don't be shy.
I just jam it in there.
See you're stringing a guitar.
Not thinking of banging
your cousin for the first time.
Relax.
Immigrant Song playing
Check check-ow.
Hello, hello, hello.
Immigrant Song continues
Yo what do I do?
You're getting there
bitch, confidence!
Like what, like this?
Literally my grandma can play
the bass,
like you're gonna be fine.
Hey you got this!
Bitches lets dance.
Yes!
The Serpent's Chord
by Virginia Bitches
Hey I'm Sue,
you got the cash?
You got what I came for?
Jesus. Of course
We're chill here.
There's no need for any trouble.
Follow me.
This is the one?
- Yes.
There are six other dead bodies
that came in the same night.
Where did they find them?
Out in the back of a concert
venue in a back alley.
Check this out.
Who are you?
I didn't catch your name.
Van Helsing.
But I was never here? Was I?
Okay, so how'd I do?
Like Morgan said,
anyone can play bass.
You fucking killed it.
Dylan, Dylan, Dylan.
Dylan!
Give me the fucking guitar.
Yeah.
Good boy.
You feeling it yet?
- I think I am a little.
Hey, Kate, our Lord and Savior
lead songstress.
- Yes?
Are you going to help us
with the fucking gear?
What do you think I'm doing?
Let's go.
I guess I gotta go find Carl.
Jerry!
Everybody in there
is dead to you.
Wasn't even a smartphone.
Hey, why don't
you teeth on it bitch.
Oh. That's it.
Come on.
Hey fat Carl you fuck.
You better not be getting
your dick sucked back here.
Oh, shit.
I'm sorry honey,
How the fuck are you going to
come barging in here on me
like this?
At least let me fucking
finish next time.
Oh what the fuck?!
Oh, Jesus Christ,
- Looks like he's finished.
All right, honey,
beat it. Get out of here.
I don't have time
for your fucking games, man.
Jesus fucking Christ.
Come on.
Yeah.
Oh, God. Not again.
Again.
That has got to be the tiniest
dick I have ever seen.
Yeah, if it was any smaller,
it'd be in his ass,
Where's our fucking money?
Here it is,
I got your fucking money.
Alright let's see.
There's ten, five. We said 100,
right? Give me a minute
I gotta...
It's supposed to be 500.
500? What are you outta
your fucking minds?
You guys didn't sell enough
tickets. No pre-sales.
500...
Oh, don't give me
that fucking bullshit.
This place is packed
to the brim.
- Sit tight.
Give me five minutes.
I'll be right back.
Or...
I could rip is testicles right
out off of his body.
Yeah, she's really good at that.
No, that doesn't
fucking sound good.
Chill out, big man.
alright, what the fuck?
Talking about. breaking
my nuts off, are you nuts?
Look I'll tell you what.
You just give me
five minutes. Relax.
No testicle ripping.
I got some more money in my car,
and I'll be right back, alright?
Alright.
But in five minutes,
either we're going to have
that money, or
I'm going to have a new pair of
testicles hanging from my
rearview mirror.
I knew you would cool off.
You got a badass shirt
but you're actually a nice guy.
You, I don't know.
Shit.
Crazy bitch.
Pretty but you're
not all that smart.
I got money in my car, my money.
Dumb bitch.
Oh. Shit.
Fucking Charlie.
Charlie, you cock sucker!
Where the hell are you?
Pick up your phone.
Listen, I want you to meet
me at the gas station.
I'm gonna pick up
the rest of my money.
Hey and call me back after nine.
All right?
I get free minutes after that
Prick.
Where are you, you crazy bitch?!
Fuck you!
Oh shit!
No! No!
Stay the fuck away from me!
Goddammit.
Fuck you!
Bet that was tasty.
Girl, that was impressive.
So hot.
Did he have any money on him?
That's all that's left of Carl?
My bad.
Don't worry about it.
That's a bonus.
I hated that guy.
Check this out.
- All right. Much appreciated
Thanks for the tip, Carl.
Hey! A vibrator!
- Ew!
Carl led a very
interesting life.
Does this happen often?
We don't have any money.
We don't have any gas.
We don't have any gas. We stay
in the same place too long.
Things can go sideways quick.
Okay.
No, no, no, Dylan.
Absolutely not.
Just keep driving Dylan.
- No!
We can't just leave her here.
That is problems
right there. No. No.
No, no, no, we need
to pick her up.
- No we don't.
- Yes, yes, yes.
- We're not picking her up.
We're picking her up.
- Jerry, no.
No, no, no, Jerry.
Some woman walking down
the middle of the road covered
in blood.
That is problems.
- No!
Fuck!
Jerry, she's not moving.
What the fuck?
Jerry! Jerry!
- We can't just leave her.
You can!
- No!
She's pregnant.
We're not just
gonna leave her out here.
- Jerry, this fucked.
- I'm not touching her.
We're doing this!
Get the door.
Lay her down here.
We need to get
her to a hospital.
Fuck.
This is still my first day!
Are we gonna take
a vote on this?
No, we need to go to
the hospital now.
I think her tongue
has been ripped out.
Dude, she doesn't have
a fucking tongue.
Who did this to you honey?
Nope. Nope, nope. Shut up.
This is exactly the kind of shit
we do not want to be
involved in.
- Agreed.
Thank you.
We can drop her off
and get some help.
No Dylan, pedal to the metal.
Get us there now!
If you guys are vamps,
why don't you just heal her?
You don't know what
you're talking about.
It's your first day, Dylan.
It looks like she doesn't
want to be in this town at all.
Oh fuck.
All right, everybody be cool.
I got this.
Nowadays,
there's all kinds of creatures
of the night prowling.
You just gotta figure out
who's hunting who.
License and registration?
Yeah. Of course.
Here you go.
Registration.
Jerry...
Old enemies
are like old friends.
- I don't think we have
the registration
on the vehicle.
You pick up right
where you left off.
Yo, ain't no way hot
cross buns is a fucking cop.
Vampires aren't the only
things that live forever.
Look at these guys.
Haven't aged a day.
Gotta ask him about
that skincare routine.
Probably sirens don't look
smart enough to be warlocks.
Everybody step out
of the van now.
Fuck, well, what do we do?
Jerry? Jerry,
that guy smells weird.
He's not wearing a fucking
shirt. He's not a meat sack.
Meat sack?
It's our food, humans,
they smell different.
This is your last chance.
Step out of the van pronto.
Throw the keys out
the window. Now!
Okay. Okay, officer, we're...
We're coming out of the van-
- No!
We're coming out of the vehicle.
Ain't nobody getting out of
this fucking van.
Okay, okay.
Whoa!
Y'all not hear me?
Get out of the fucking van!
Get out of the fucking van!
Now! All of you.
Punch it! Go go go go go go.
Tell me you at least have your-
Go get 'em boys.
Hunting time. Let's go!
You remember him?
The fat one from the waterfall.
Boy with the fangs boss.
Over them falls
I watched him die.
Let's send him back to hell.
Hey, what you're doing?
Jerry, what the fuck's
going on with Kate?
Just drive.
- I got this.
- Kate no!
- Kate no!
- I said stop!
What is she doing?
We're all a little special,
and Kate,
Kate is something else.
She had magic on her side
before we even met.
- What the hell?
Yee haw!
Never driven bitch!
Calm down.
Fuck.
- Is she okay?
- We need to do some
damage control.
Bitches.
- You all right back there?
- We're fine.
The hospital is right there.
Come on ladies.
Watch the van.
Are you okay?
Everybody's okay?
Okay then.
Jo?
Let's go.
Not all meat
sacks are for eating.
Sometimes when someone's been
through enough pain,
they can make a good friend.
I can't do this.
That's too much.
Fuck!
Call everybody!
- Fucking thing almost hit me.
Call every fucking unit!
They gonna pay for this.
They gonna fucking pay for this!
Oh good.
They're all dressed
up for Halloween.
Creepy.
Okay, kiddos, what the
fuck is going on here?
Ma'am, she needs some help.
Tell me why I shouldn't
kill every single
one of these fucking
meat sacks right now.
- Let's just wait
and see what the fuck
is going on.
Why do they all have white eyes?
Fucking fuck.
Jerry, where are you guys?
Lilith is
the mother of all monsters.
And Kate,
Kate is her actual daughter.
I swore an oath to Lillith
that I would protect
her daughter at any cost.
No matter what it took,
she would be safe.
But I broke that promise.
That's how she became one of us.
We're coming for you.
Jerry, where are you guys?
Show Marie where you are.
Marie!
You have to show Marie.
Marie!
The bassist.
Focus your thoughts
on your dark master.
Marie!
What was that?
What was what?
I didn't say anything.
Hey, hey, when are
we getting out of here?
Whoa.
I forgot how strong I was
when I first turned.
Maybe you can squeeze us
outta here.
Marie!
Kate. Kate's calling to me.
Yeah, she does that.
Ah, God...
Fuck.
my leg.
- I wasn't expecting that.
- God.
It happens a lot.
Fucking shit.
Did you get weird crazy
color shit things from Kate?
No, I would have said something.
Okay. What about?
What about Jerry?
I don't know, I can smell him-
- Shit, shit, shit, shit.
Let's go this way. God I want
to light this place on fire.
Can we?
Jerry.
Jerry.
Jerry!
We
are gathered here
for the coming of
the Almightiest God, God!
Our one above all.
Our Savior.
from blood he was born,
and from blood
he is
reborn!
We want the blood.
Give us the blood.
We want the child.
Give us the child.
Now beg.
I want to hear you beg.
Beg! We want the child! Beg!
This baby is for pain.
Give us the blood!
Give us the blood!
The one the almighty!
I will live forever.
You will live forever!
You will live forever! With
the God, the almighty,
the all masterful!
Pain!
What the fuck is it?
It's a ceremony.
For what?
- The rebirth of the Warlock.
The Warlock.
Every 150 years Cain is reborn.
Aww mama bear so proud.
So good!
Jerry.
Jerry.
Jesus Jo get me out
of these damn things.
I'm glad you're okay.
Morgan? Kate?
- Haven't found them yet.
I mean, did they not bring
Kate down here with you?
Not unless they turned
her into a husky.
A what?
- What?
Something making a noise
out there in the dark.
Oh, what is this?
- Yikes.
Human trafficking.
- Not in my experience,
but, you know, a lot of
shit's changed since the 70s.
What's that?
My grandma used to let me play
with one of these when
I was a kid.
Can't believe they still make
these crazy, creepy ass dolls.
- Get it out of my face.
I hear breathing,
Something's coming.
Marie!
Hold on!
Where'd she go?
She just joined the band.
Marie!
Oh my knees.
Jesus Christ. What the fuck?
- What are you doing here
touching my things?
Oh, my God, I didn't
know they were yours.
How do you want to handle this?
I can hear you assholes.
So I wouldn't dare
try anything else.
Or I'll just split her in two.
- Okay hi!
I didn't know they
were your things, I
had no idea no
one was down here.
What's your name?
No one has asked me that in...
A very long time.
It's...
Maybelle Roux-
Something, it's been a while.
May. Can I call you May?
You're very strong.
You're hurting me.
Any time someone comes
down here for me, they hurt me.
May.
Are you human?
I think so, why?
No reason.
Smells like a kennel down here.
You have an
interesting smell as well.
We have a scent?
You smell different to me.
What do we smell like?
Dead blood.
That's, that's why
you guys are here. You.
You came to help me.
You found my letter for,
asking for help.
Oh, no no no no no, honey,
unfortunately, we just zigged
when we should have zagged,
and we wound up in this lovely
shithole
with you.
But no...May, May, May.
We have a common enemy.
Yeah, they captured us and
imprisoned us when we're
just trying
to get out of this shithole.
Take me with you.
I'm, I'm going crazy.
By myself down here.
I'm uhm,
I've tried more times than I can
remember to,
to get this off, but,
I wake up with a new set,
and I can't even pronounce
the words...
Come on.
Come on.
Alright May, you said you know
which way to go.
Lead the way girl.
Well I think this way.
Hands up!
On the wall now!
Hey, don't be a hero, man.
Stay right there.
Whoo!
Can we please keep
moving? Great.
Warning.
May stop!
Warning.
- Hurry.
Okay, back up, back up, back up.
- Take it off right now.
One second. Okay, May,
take a deep breath. Count down
with me, alright.
Three, two.
One. Oh!
Warning.
Y'all okay?
We gotta keep moving.
Hey.
Hey, look at me, look at me.
Your baby didn't make it, okay,
I know, I know, I know, I know.
Shh. Shh.
Listen, we gotta get
out of here, okay?
We have to go. Come on.
Alright darling,
we gonna have some fun.
Every monster
has an origin story.
From the heavens
behemoth will fall.
I'm over 900 years old,
but some things
are much...
much...
older.
Behold
the fall of man.
The stone of the behemoth.
It fell from the skies
to prey on the weakness of men.
Those who submit to its will
are given great power.
But there is a cost.
Alright baby give us the blood!
Sorry for interrupting.
I just wanted to know
what you felt like
being human again.
I'm getting used to it.
I think you're gonna be real
enthralled with this thing
we found.
What thing?
It's the daughter of Lilith.
She's got the mark.
Oh, I haven't encountered a
child of the Mistress
in a millennia.
We got her waiting on
you at the station.
Keep me fed,
or else I will feast on you,
next.
Yes sir.
Hey, Druid.
We're still searching
for some fangers.
Cain is regenerating and.
not at full power yet.
So you find them at all cost?
Psst.
Dylan.
Well, we have
the human with us now.
Is that the human that was
with the fangers?
Yeah, he's a part of that group.
Kill him.
Yes, sir.
Listen I'm not a fanger.
I'm not a fanger, man. Look.
Look at my teeth.
Shut the fuck up!
And get on the ground!
Please, listen calm down, man.
Shut the fuck up!
Get the fuck on the ground! Now!
- Calm down!
- It'll be over in a minute.
Hey Klaus, Klaus.
Shoot away from the car.
- No, no! Please no! Please!
No. Please no. Please.
Hey kid, kid, kid.
They ain't no police, all right?
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
I love you,
Dylan. I would break you in two.
God, this,
this...This was incredible.
Come on. Let's go.
I've never seen anything
like this before.
People have been coming
to this town for years,
but no one makes it out alive.
Yeah where is the road
we need to find a way out of
this place.
This is ridiculous.
It's a cult
that serves one purpose.
What?
To feed the one
they call Cain.
Okay who's Cain?
- Why the fuck did you have
that collar around your neck?
I don't know.
I smell food.
Oh. Are you?
- What's happening?
- I smell hot food.
Oh, God.
Shit.
This little tongue of hers
has the power to destroy us all.
So we have to find her.
Somewhere alright.
Say.
Find her,
find her and bring her to me.
Hey, stay low.
Stay low.
All right, so, listen,
this is what we're gonna do.
We're gonna go inside and get
cleaned up, try to find a phone.
Who are you going to call?
We're gonna call for help.
Help? Dylan, it's just us.
Shh. Morgan.
Listen, I got this, all right?
Look, just watch me, I got this.
Fucking Craigslist roadie.
Zombies
on parade, oh so sweet.
Jack-o-lanterns
glowing bright.
Casting shadows
in the night.
It's Halloween and
the children sing.
Swing, swing, swing.
Uhm.
Excuse me, ma'am, can we
can we use your phone?
Ma'am?
Ma'am, are you okay?
Hey! Go hide over there.
Hide next to that tree.
Right over there. Hide.
Oh. I'm sorry, I'm sorry,
I'm sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.
What happened here?
Dylan, are you all right?
Morgan, we need to go.
Oh okay Jerry.
Whoa whoa whoa whoa
whoa whoa whoa whoa.
Okay. This isn't
the Golden Corral.
Hey, hey, you don't know
where that food has been.
Hey!
You got a bit of
a situation on your face.
- Where'd the girl go?
- I left her outside.
It's that siren.
- What? What's a siren?
Do you know anything?
Can I enjoy one meal in peace?
You know what, just sit, sit.
Stay, stay. Be a good girl.
Sit. Stay.
I don't know anything Jerry.
- One meal in peace!
Yes, yes, please take your time.
Guns!
Get down!
Fire!
What do you mean you guns?
Get down bitch!
Alright!
Dylan try not to get shot.
Check please.
Alright everybody out the door!
Hurry come on, let's go.
Sir I got a bogey at 6 o'clock.
He's coming in hot.
He is not stopping!
Then take him the fuck out!
Marie!
- I can see her.
- Marie.
Oh, shit.
She's in pain.
- Where?
- All I can see is
chains. And blood.
Oh my God there is
a pile of tape.
Marie.
- Blackrock. Blackrock.
I know this place.
You do?
- Mhm.
I can take you.
Where are you!?
So this is the almighty
daughter of Lilith.
Come here.
No!
Look at them thangs grow back.
I'll rip your fucking face off.
You ain't going
to do a damn thing.
Oh really?
Let's see how strong you are.
Whoo!
Hell yeah!
You know you're going
to meet my master.
Fuck you!
Fuck this place!
Master.
Oh,
you're going to be so excited.
Master.
This is it.
What a dump.
The fight is on!
Place your bets baby!
Let's get it! Alright guys
we got a fight going on here!
We got a fight. Place your bets.
Place your bets.
Put 50K on the fanger.
- That's what I'm talking about.
What's a fanger?
It's slang for vampire.
Welcome. welcome.
Welcome.
Creatures of the night!
We got something real special
set up for your
viewing pleasure.
We got a vile,
fanger!
A real life daughter
from Lilith!
So I can say I'm pretty amped!
Coming all the way
from the isle of
Crete! The beast from the east.
The Wild Man!
Yeah!
One last time...
We want the blood!
Whoo!
We really doing this?
I have no
idea what that sound is.
Something wicked.
Kill her!
Yeah!
What the fuck is that?
Is that a minotaur?
That's a fucking minotaur.
No!
Fuck this!
What's with May man.
Her face is coming off!
What the shit is that?
Dylan back up! Back up!
Time to go.
- Where is Dylan?
- Did you know that May was
a werewolf?
Guy!
Good girl May.
I'm getting too
old for this shit.
Warning.
Warning.
Warning.
Flesh.
Life.
Do you know what preserves
the order of men?
Blood.
You gotta get me
outta here dude.
Oh, please I'll do
whatever you want.
You should be honored. You're
about to meet...
Cain.
Please don't.
Ah!
What the fuck?
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
Let me out!
Ah! No! Fuck!
Help me!
Who dares to disturb me.
In the spiritual plane.
I do.
Cain.
I summon thee.
Something's wrong.
Why am I not whole again?
Your metamorphosis
is incomplete.
You will die if you don't.
Don't what?
Tell me!
Feed.
You must
feed.
Fool.
The blood of Lillith,
rewards you with immortality.
I will not be levied by
you or Lillith.
I,
Cain,
am reborn.
- No stop!
No! Ah!
Dylan fucking figure it out.
What about May?
- I think she's doing fine on her own.
Drive, drive, drive!
- Remember when you crashed that forklift?
- Yes!
Why are they so juicy?
- Dylan!
Ew!
You know what, fuck these guys.
Use the wipers.
Shit!
Ah!
Oh fuck
- Is he okay?
- Try and get him.
Keep pressure on it.
We're going to get
you some help.
You turn me.
I'm not going to bite
your neck.
I'm kinda dying here.
It's kind of gay.
You can't say gay anymore Jerry.
Dylan, you are one of
the funniest motherfuckers
I have ever met.
I'm...I...
Sorry, kid, I just don't think
I have another one in me.
Jo, would you?
Thanks Jo.
Marie?
I can't, I can't.
Fuck it.
It's okay.
Go get the girl. Okay,
I got Dylan.
You're going to be okay, kid.
You're okay.
Let's go find that girl.
Move.
Who the fuck are you?
Where's Cain?
He's not-
Ah fuck! Shit!
- One.
Two.
- Blood chamber!
He's in the blood chamber!
Where is he?
Freeze.
- Level Four
Trunk or treat.
You're only supposed
to take one.
But it's the honor system.
You think this is too much?
No, I think it works.
You have to feed to heal.
- No. No!
You ever seen a pig fly?
Druid.
The threats from the south and
inside the compound.
Cover left flank.
Take men, no cost.
- Move it!
Go! Go!
No, don't get up.
You're going to want
to let that paint dry.
Hey, don't worry, honey.
We're running out of time.
Come on.
- I don't remember killing these ones.
- Yeah, I don't recognize these guys.
Attention!
Attention traitor. Y'all
know him is Jerry.
I know him as Jeremiah from
a long, long time ago.
He abandoned his company
and left them high and dry.
Now, the day he walks in here
with his bruised,
battered, and bloody bitches.
I just got one
message for y'all.
I'm coming.
For everybody.
Hey fuck you!
Alright,
which way are we going?
Hey, Jerry,
she wants to go that way.
- Sounds good to me.
A real Van Helsing.
In the flesh.
Stop the threat at
the south tower.
I hate Van Helsing!
Come on!
Die you bastard!
Alright alright. You got him.
You're good.
Let's go.
Talk about heavy metal.
Where is it?
What are you looking for?
Hi fangers.
I want this to be fair so
I ain't gonna scream.
We're the Virginia bitches.
You were.
Jerry!
Come on now. Let
me see that spark.
I'm going to rip
your fucking throat out.
Fuck you.
Aw. There she is.
You know you can't take it-
You bitch!
Oh Cain!
Cain!
Fuck this place. Let's go.
Come on!
We need to keep moving.
You hear that?
Fuck get down!
It's coming back.
This ain't gonna work
but I'll give it a shot.
Here, boy.
Hey guys!
I'm a fanger now!
Shit, Morgan!
Why did you just do that?
Do what?
You just risked
your life for all of us.
I love you.
Oh, wow.
That does not belong
to you anymore!
You murdered my baby!
I need blood.
Here, here.
I don't like teeth.
Like 'em.
- Fucking mint.
- Yeah.
Oh, shit.
Guys! Jerry! Jerry
needs help. Jerry!
Come on.
- Come on. Jerry!
Oh! Oh, God.
Don't worry,
I'm not that dead yet.
So you're a fanger now?
Yeah! The fucking
rush is amazing.
At least you didn't have to
sleep in a graveyard.
- Well. Not exactly.
Hey, who are you?
I'm Rip
Van Helsing.
Why did you help us back there?
- I'm on a mission.
- What fucking mission?
I'm not here for
you. I come for him.
There's a bounty on his head
and I came to collect.
I don't like you.
I don't fucking care.
Guys stop. Look.
What the fuck?
He's a warlock.
There's only one way
to take them out.
You gotta go for the eyes.
Yeah, this is weird as fuck.
I would like to get
back on the road.
Thank you.
Yeah.
Cheers.
Alright seat belts. Let's go!
Go Dylan!
Time to leave this party.
We'll revisit this band
thing after we have time to
regroup.
Virginia Bitches out.
How was your trip?
Mr. Van Helsing.
Wait here.
Your trip was a success.
It would seem.
Yeah you could say that.
What gifts have
you brought for me
young Van Helsing?
Where am I?
Let me out!
Let me out!
The head of the warlock
known as Cain.
As you requested.
Who is that?
Your payment awaits.
Thanks.
- Who's the girl?
She was with a group of vampires
that I encountered
while I was on the task.
Who are you? What?
Do you know who I am?
Call me,
Dracula.
Do you know where to find them?
Yeah.
Yeah, I do.