Digital Killer (2026) Movie Script
[wind sounds]
[electronic sounds]
[glitch sounds]
[birds calling]
[thud sound]
I'm recording this just in
case something happens to me.
Stop it!
Somoeone must have seen this.
It's completely out of order.
When I get back, I'll check the tape.
This thing on? Hi.
I'm Steve.
I just got this camera,
and, I thought it'd be cool to,
you know, upload some video
blog stuff onto, my new blog.
Um...
You know, get a chance
to see everyday life of me.
Um...
Yeah.
I'm going to try to film
some really good stuff.
I'm going to make it as
interesting as possible for everyone.
So if you're interested, then you'll watch.
And if you're not, then you wouldn't
be watching this in the first place.
So...
Whoo! I'm nervous this
is my first time doing this.
Everyone wants to be famous, right?
Oh man, I'm going to have
to cut this down a little bit.
Whoooo...
This thing still on?
[glitching sound]
[distant music]
[rock music]
[slow rock music]
[singer singing]
[phone ringing]
Hi, you've reached Kris
I can't get to my phone,
but if you leave a message
I will probably call you back.
[car slows]
[phone dialing] [ringing]
[traffic sounds]
What are you doing?
[screaming] [gunshot]
What are you doing?
Stop it!
Stop it!
[wheezing]
[glitch sounds]
Okay...
Take three. Hi.
I am Steve. Ah, here's
something interesting.
I guess
The future.
Lucky eights.
Or is it the past?
No one knows.
This right here, though.
Very serious.
It's my rubber band ball.
Kind of gets me through the day.
Yeah, it's kind of like prison.
But instead of marking up the walls,
this rubber band ball just gets bigger.
But...
Steven, you got those files ready for me?
Uhhh...
What are you doing?
Nothing. Nothing. We'll try this again.
All right.
Oh, wow.
There is Jenna.
She's a bit stuck up, but
she's got a sick body.
Oooh...
Oh yeah, right.
You have no chance, Dude.
Let's get a little better look here.
Steve?
What're you doing?
Nothing.
Were you just filming me?
No, I...
Gross - Whooo... alright.
Okay, let's get the lights.
Let's see what we can see.
Let's check out the beautiful view
right here.
There you are.
I don't know why I can't find anybody.
I mean,
I always feel like I'm
the outsider, you know?
How do other people do it?
I don't know, I just,
I feel like I've always
been two degrees off.
I hate this.
[static sounds]
[distant chatter]
What are you doing?
Get out of here!
So, more about me.
See, I uhhh... I was born in the Midwest.
Wisconsin, to be exact.
Moved to the big city.
Kind of lost the accent.
Yeah, I just,
I don't know.
I couldn't do a small
town for the rest of my life.
I needed to see what was out there.
So here I am.
Ummm...
Yeah, people back home...
I don't know, I guess I
was considered the nice guy.
I used to have this crush on this girl.
Oh, man.
- Blond haired, blue eyed.
- Typical.
- Of course.
- Yeah.
I used to ride my bike up and
down her block every single day.
I mean.
I don't know what I was thinking.
It sounded like she was going to
run outside and see me
and want to jump on me
and make mad sex, you know,
tell everyone at school about it.
It's interesting, though.
Did I want to have sex with her?
Or did I want everyone at school
to know that I had sex with her?
This is weird.
Wow, I turn the camera
on and all of a sudden
the truth comes out.
Okay, I'm going to have to edit this down
a little bit.
What is going on.
Here is a photo of my ex-girlfriend, Kris.
Record you piece of
Stop it!
Stop! Okay, really?
C'mere here, Steve...
This is my living room.
All right. Over here.
We got some art strewn about,
some creepy heads in the corner.
That is my TV.
- I got that piece in Oaxaca, Mexico.
- All right.
Over here...
I've got a painting that I
bought at a garage sale.
And that is Rick's idea of art.
Yeah.
The less said, really.
Okay. Oh, wow.
This is a cool shot.
Down here, we have an awesome banner.
Ah jeez!
Okay.
-You ruined my shot.
-What are you doing?
What's this for, Dude? Let me get in it.
Okay, everybody, this is my roommate, Rick.
Okay. Say hi, Rick.
-Hi, Rick.
-Inspired.
- Thank you.
- Here, get out of my way. I'm trying
Come on. I'm trying to shoot
Here it is.
Stevie's Ovarius Rex.
Rarely is it ever seen out in the daylight.
But here it is, in all its glory.
Performing a ritual to make it
more attractive to other mates.
Unfortunately, this
particular creature has spent
too much time with his ass on the
couch and other nonexertive activities.
But luckily, he's chosen a
park area where other mates
won't see him and rightfully mock him for
the poor performance... Hey! Gimme that!
He's gonna puke! Careful!
Great.
Great. You probably broke it.
Me? I was the one lunging for it.
Sorry.
The red light's still
on, it's probably fine.
See?
And it's a camera, man.
Remember, material posessions
they are fleeting, grasshopper.
Yeah, that may be, but
I still paid $500 for this.
Come on over here. You'll miss
it. I'll show you how it's done.
Two, three. See?
- This is how you do it.
- Seems to be working.
Six. Count with me.
Seven.
Come on...
I can't, I can't.. Yeah I can.
Eight. Nine.
- All right, all right. Stop, Dude.
- Should I do the one arm?
Okay. I'm glad you can count.
That's awesome.
Dude, somebody call the veterinarian
these pythons are sick!
Miss Bigsby, Hudson Pre-school.
Taught me all my numbers.
- Basic edition.
- Yeah. Good school.
Oh, when's your graduation again?
Oh, funny. Now
you ready to give it another go?
Come on, Beefcake, what you got?
Yeah, I thought about it.
No. I'm good.
How many, did you do? Exactly.
Did you get one?
- I got two. - Two?
- Yeah.
We might have to look at the
tape, folks, cause I saw one.
I obviously don't have as
much time as you do, Rick.
Uhhh, yeah.
Whatcha been doing?
Stuff.
Like?
Why do you care?
I care, dude. I'm your friend, man
trying to catch up.
What's up with you? I don't see you.
- Wow.
- What?
Look at that.
She's coming right down here. Look at that.
- Good morning.
- Yeah, good morning is right.
Ooh...
- OK, hold this, gotta go.
- What? Oh yeah, right.
She is so out of your league, Rick.
Yours maybe, mine no. I've got this.
Okay.
Excuse me. Coming through...
Oh, shoot.
- Oh, my God, what a douche.
- I'm good.
Tell me that doesn't work.
Wow. I'm sorry, I didn't.
Did I hurt you?
- No way.
- I was just trying to...
Run on through here and I
didn't want to break my stride.
- What a tool.
- Sorry!
[upbeat music]
Gun show...
Welcome to the gun show.
[continues singing]
Rick!
Get outta here!
My firm's Christmas party.
Hate these things, so depressing.
Makes you think of the year just
gone by and how you wasted it.
How you're still in exactly the same spot.
- Oh, no, look who it is.
- Oh. What's this?
Smile, kids, you're on Candid Camera.
This is a recording for his we blog.
- Uh-uh and who's interested in that?
- That's what I said.
- Thank you. Brenda.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
A lot of people are doing
stuff like this, it's not ike, weird.
Instead of working, right?
Oh, supervisor Kyle
- brought the hammer.
- You know what?
I'm probably going to be stuck in
this dead end job for the rest of my life,
so I need to make my mark
on the world somehow. Right?
Uh-huh and what people
are going to be watching this?
That's what I said. Thank
you. Nobody would watch this.
- No, no, no, Rick...
- You don't know what's interesting.
Thank you.
There he is, kids. The party animal!
It's Steve!
He's got a medium five figure salary and
just six payments left
on a 91 Nissan Stanza.
It's a beautiful ride, girls.
Come on down.
He's a one drink wonder.
He's into aggressive
sex and he likes to watch.
Just give me the camera back.
No, no, no. You do not
know what's interesting.
- Now, come on, give me a drink.
- Come on.
Look at that. I'm almost out here,
Give me that old, uhh come on.
The eternal optimist
speech. That's one of the best.
It's a Christmas party.
Have fun.
Why do you even care?
You're Jewish.
Nice.
Take this.
It'll be so much fun, I promise.
It'll be so much fun.
Yeah, it's all fun and games,
Steve, until someone gets hurt.
- I'll make it worth your while.
- Ohhh (laughs)
Hey. Hey, Jenna.
Give me the camera.
No, Rick.
[upbeat music]
C'mon in, Steve.
Okay.
So Steven, what's up?
Not much.
Your yearly review,
how do you think you did?
I think I did okay.
Didn't I?
I've seen better.
A lot better.
In fact, I'd go as far as to say that
a review of your performance
over this past year
is not impressive at all.
So I'm fired.
No, I didn't say that.
But you're going to.
Your performance was average.
We don't fire anyone for average.
At least not initially.
Look, Steven, I know you
want to be a junior in training.
And for now, your data entry work is great.
It's keep them company running. But,
your behavior at work is a
completely different matter.
What do you mean?
People seem to be concerned
about your personality.
We've had complaints.
People just aren't comfortable
being around you.
It actually scares them.
What?
You know, I can't tell you that.
People aren't comfortable around me...
Well, what's wrong with me?
I can't be the worst
person in the office, surely.
What about Rick?
No, everybody likes Rick.
So you're gonna fire me?
No, but this has to change.
How do I change it?
I don't know. Find a way.
Ask Rick.
Okay.
Thank you, Mr. McGavin.
- Busted.
- Gimme my camera, Rick.
I hate it when this happens.
Hi Jenna!
Gimme my camera!
Oh, people like me!
[glitch sounds]
[distant calm music]
I actaully think I saw a bun from her Mom.
Wasn't she famous for like, six months?
That's what Janice said.
I don't know what she did with
the money for real, but it was nuts
spent on this party.
Booze, awful.
I know, I'm hungry.
Oh, come on, the party is not that bad.
Our party was way worse.
Who do you work for?
W.M. Allen and Associates.
We're right across the street.
It's okay if you know who they are.
Then who invited you?
I crashed.
Oh, I'm out of here.
No, really, I, I heard the catering
food was top notch, so
I wanted to check it out.
Got this really big rubber band
ball that I've been working on.
- How big is it?
- Well...
Listen I'm taking off, you want a ride?
- No, no, no, I'm good.
- Are you sure?
Absolutely.
Ok, have fun.
What are you...
What it... are you... What
are you doing with that?
I am...
This is kind of a hobby of mine.
I like to document things.
I think that perhaps this might be the
beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Oh, so you're gonna show it
to our grandkids or something?
Perhaps, I like where
you're going with this.
I should really be creeped out right now.
Oh, wow. Look at that necklace.
- Gorgeous.
- Oh, thank you.
It's Saint Christopher, the patron saint
the Lord's prayer.
Hey, Miss Salazar, happy Christmas.
Hey, merry Christmas to you.
Watch out for the drink.
You gotta drive tonight.
Oh, yeah.
Thanks. I'm okay. Merry Christmas.
Bye, dad.
- Who is that?
- That was security.
And you should probably go,
because they're really tight here.
Oh, really?
Yes, really.
Well, you're going to
turn me in or something?
Well, you know, I might.
Well, what would Saint Christopher say?
Forgive thy trespasses, ah?
You are really sure
of yourself, aren't you?
Can I get your name, please?
Vanessa.
I must be desperate.
Just so you know, I don't normally
bring stalkers with cameras into my house.
You are harmless, aren't you?
Oh, thanks.
Thanks a lot.
I'm just playing.
Oh, you're so pretty.
Can I give you a kiss?
Yeah.
Sit down.
Make yourself comfortable.
Okay.
Okay.
Film me.
Really?
Why do anything if it's
not on camera, right?
I mean,
alcohol makes me do
things I wouldn't normally do.
Don't you want to find out what they are?
Yes. Yes, I would.
Mom?
Who's that?
I'm Steve,
and you are?
Erin.
Erin.
Cool.
Why do you have a camera?
I'm making a movie about
my life, and your mommy's in it.
Can I be in it?
You already are.
Come on, hun, let's get
you tucked back into bed.
Sorry about that.
Where were we?
Okay.
Bad habit. Let's see.
Ideas?
Well, for instance, you...
[glitch sounds]
[rock music]
I know what you've done, Steve.
I have seen the tape.
This tape
and the camera doesn't lie.
Or does it? Da da dum!
What am I supposed to do?
Flip a coin? Consult the I Ching?
You know, I do
happen to like your life better than mine.
Should I stop you and take it over?
Tough choice.
What do you think, fellow bloggers?
You think I could get away with it?
The fate of your world.
It's heads.
Hello?
Hello?
What, are you trying to kill me?
Oh! Oh!
Now, why would I want to do that?
I don't know.
You are.
I am not.
I would never do such a thing.
What kind of person would do that?
Oh you're sweaty. Yuck.
Yeah. You're sweaty too.
But you love it.
Yeahhhhh!
- Hello.
- Rick, what are you doing here?
I always come here.
You are the stalker, remember?
- Rick.
- Vanessa.
- Vanessa. Rick.
- Why, hello.
Nice to meet you. Jinx.
Double jinx.
- And you can't double jinx me.
- I just did.
What are you going to do about it?
- Oh, you will see.
- I will, huh?
Yes.
- She's pretty cool.
- Yeah.
- Yeah. Let's go.
- Why thank you, sir.
- Why, no no, no. Thank you.
- Double jinx.
You can't double jinx,
it's kind of how it works.
See if we have to say
something at the same time.
Jinx! Oh I got you!
Okay, guys, you guys
are being really stupid.
Jinx!
She's all right.
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
Yeah. So um...
You know, we have kind of a
strange connection, you and I.
- We do, I think we do.
- Interesting.
Don't you think so, Steve?
- Just a little.
- No, actually, I, I don't.
I think you guys are being
really weird and stupid.
I know it's true. What
are you gonna do about it?
Yeah, you gonna actually put
down the camera and run after us?
No way.
I tell him that all the time and
he never really can keep up with me ever.
- He doesn't listen, he's very competitive.
- He is.
- Wow, really?
- And yet, always seem to beat him.
Me too. Interesting.
- Okay you guys are being really stupid.
- You've said.
You know what?
I think I could take you in a race.
Oh, you can't...
Where are you guys going?
What you got?!
Winner! Did I cross that line
I hate you, Rick.
You can't keep up, can you?
I haven't even floored it yet.
I'm still being nice.
Yeah, babe, I'm doing just fine.
Babe, come here.
What?
Come here.
Look at you.
You know, maybe if you'd put that damn
camera down, you could keep up with me.
One day you're going to look back at this,
and you're gonna see how beautiful you were
and how you could run down the
block without losing your breath.
Trust me.
I never look back.
Oh, Jesus. Sorry. I'm sorry. I
didn't see you. I didn't see you.
Hey, what are you doing up on this floor?
Oh, nothing.
You shouldn't have.
I didn't, Jenna.
Nice card.
Sorry, Jenna.
You missed your chance.
Oh, in your dreams.
Whatever.
You'll be back.
Wow.
Okay, everybody,
this is my Valentine's
message to all of you.
And for all the ladies out
there, Jenna included...
I'm taken.
Happy Valentine's Day.
Hey, Baby.
These are for you.
I love you.
I love you.
Okay.
All right, let's do this for real.
All right.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Excuse me, Sir?
Sir, did you...
Did you check in with council?
Hi, Dad.
Did you check in with - sir? Hey! Sir!
I'm a hopeless romantic.
Sir... Hey. Sir!
Okay, here we go.
There she is.
My beautiful valentine.
Oh, look, she's got some
cards on her table already.
And some flowers that
I definitely did not send.
Huh. She's popular.
Oh, she looks so angelic sitting there.
[electronic sounds]
Amore...
Rick, quit hiding my camera!
Ah, you left it on.
Hey, am I doing this right?
Is the red light on?
Hmm-mm.
Then, yeah. You're doing it right.
Ahhhh.
There he is.
Come on.
- Smile for me.
- What?
You don't like it when
the camera's on you, huh?
No it's not that.
Then what?
Nothing.
It's just been one of those days, Babe.
Oh. I'm sorry.
Here.
This will cheer you up.
But wait, wait.
I want to get this.
Perfect.
Okay. Come on.
Open it.
Happy Valentine's day.
See, he could keep an eye
on you when I'm not around.
Thanks, honey.
So, are you going to
tell me what was wrong?
[indie rock music]
I missed you, too.
Is Erin in her room?
No. She's with her dad, Jeff.
Come on.
Don't forget your bear.
Now come on.
We're almost there.
You said that five minutes ago.
Oh, would you stop?
You are such a wimp.
Come on.
I want to show you something up here.
There it is.
The Hollywood sign.
Oh! No way.
Yeah, isn't it great from right there?
I've never seen it that close.
Oh, wow.
That's cool.
Okay, come on.
You want some water?
Vanessa?
Yeah?
I know you've been talking to Jeff.
How do you know that?
What - are you trying to hide it from me?
How would you know that?
Have you been following me?
Are you trying to hide it from me?
Back off!
- Hey there, Mamacita.
- Hi.
Oh, wow.
Baby, you look sexy.
Yeah?
Are you feeling better now?
I feel a lot better now.
I think you should put the camera down.
- Really?
- Yeah.
Why, baby?
Cause you need your hands free.
- I think you're right.
- Yeah.
Yeah!
Shhhhh...
[static sounds]
How would you know that?
That's none of your business.
No, it is my business.
You're my girfriend,
right? What are you doing
He's the father of my child.
And that is none of your business.
I have to talk to him.
How do you know that?
You've been following me.
I needed to know and now I know.
I'm my own person.
You know what? Just go!
I don't need you, Vanessa.
Yeah, you don't need me.
Mr. Clingy doesn't need me, okay.
[indie rock music]
I just really need to talk to somebody.
[voicemail sounds]
My relationship with Vanessa is over.
It's dead.
You know, I read somewhere that,
the death of something is the rebirth
of something else.
Do you think that's true?
I don't know whether
to believe that or not.
I don't really care.
You know to be honest, I'm afraid of death.
Might seem kind of weird, but...
You know, people say that
everything comes from your soul.
What soul?
You live, you die.
What else is there?
I remember when I was a little kid,
I broke my hand.
I went to the doctor's office
and saw the X-ray.
And I saw my bones.
It's just bones.
That from that point on,
I realized
how fragile
life is. And how
anyone can die at any moment.
It's the scariest thing in the world.
You can't control it.
No one can control it.
And I'm scared.
I'm truly scared and I don't know...
I don't know what to do about that.
Because I have no control over it.
At least I'm scared.
At least I feel something.
There he is.
All right, it's on.
Rick, turn it off.
Nope, nope. Camera stays on, my friend.
You know the rules.
Can't you just hide it again?
No! You would see that coming.
And use that.
Good.
How you doing?
I'd be better if you
left me the hell alone.
Wow.
That's some real life emotion there, folks.
Unedited. On today's show,
the Broken Hearts Club with Steve.
So tell us, your girlfriend's
ex back in the picture
and your jealousy screwed it up, right?
- No.
- Yes.
This from the guy who can't
gracefully lose at Monopoly.
Come on, Dude. It's me.
No.
Listen, she screwed it up.
Okay.
All right then.
Well, you know how we're
going to get over that one?
No, but I bet you'll tell me.
Oh, but I will.
You gotta get back on that horse, man.
Yeah, like who?
Well, I hear Jenna's available.
Oh, here.
That's funny.
Great plan.
Or Barton?
Who's Barton?
The girl we met in the park.
Oh, no. The girl I met in the park.
You were too slow doing your shy thing.
Whatever, Dude.
Seriously. Seriously.
As I see it, you have two options.
One, the park.
For what little I know
about Barton, she likes to jog,
She is sexy as all hell. And dare I say it?
She's actually nice.
Which means you got a shot.
That you better take really fast,
because I will run out and tap that ass.
This is my one offer. Take it or leave it.
Or?
Or...
You track down this ex-husband,
and you wait till you've got him alone,
and you bash his head in with a crowbar.
But that's just option two.
And I was kidding...
Should the authorities ever get this tape.
Vanessa,
listen, I know you're there, I can see you.
It's the third message I've left today.
We haven't spoken in like...
I know you're seeing him.
I know you're seeing him.
How dare you do that to me!
Steven?
My office.
Hello.
Best of luck.
Thanks.
Oh, big joke, huh?
I just got fired.
- You happy?
- Dude, Rick...
Come on.
- Come on.
- Wait.
Look, I bet right now is the
best time to ask Jenna out.
There's no way she'd
turn you down right now.
I'm done with this.
I'm done.
I'm not posting any more blogs.
And to you, Vanessa?
[distant rock music]
Dude...
Dude, what the...
[car engine revs]
[car crashing sounds]
So you're gonna show it to
our grandkids or something.
[laughing]
[choral music]
Hey, hey, stop right there! Stop right
[struggling sounds]
[gunshots]
[choking sounds]
[gunshots]
Caught you, you son of a bitch!
Steve! Steve! Jesus, man!
Dude!
Damn it, I got a hurt shoulder.
You okay?
No, I'm not okay.
I have a hurt shoulder
and you made it worse.
Sorry.
Little advice, next time you walk into a
room, make sure you look around first.
What happened to you?
I fell. You?
I fell.
Okay.
Okay.
Tell me something.
When you fell, you had the camera on you?
Give me my camera.
You always have the camera on you, right?
Always have the camera.
- What's on the tape, man?
- Nothing!
Wow.
Jenna, come here. Check this out.
Here she comes.
Come here.
Come.
Here.
This is the best.
This is absolutely classic.
Oh, you remember that?
What are you guys watching?
That was awesome.
It's all fun and games
until someone gets hurt.
Oh, whatever.
Come on. It's a joke.
It's a joke.
Grow up.
Oh, c'mon.
Okay. Check this part out.
Make sure you're getting this, Brenda.
Uh yep. Yep. Gettin' it.
- Rick, this is great.
- So cruel, man.
I mean, he was fired
because of crap like this.
Hey, I am about to
make him an internet star.
You can't put a price on that.
Man, this is kind of crazy.
Yeah.
I mean, how can you do this to Steve, man?
He's your friend and your roommate.
I mean, you invited me to your place.
- He pays you rent.
- He made the choice.
I mean,
Steve is not my first roommate,
and he won't be my last.
But I am the best friend
that Steve will ever have.
And deep down, he knows that.
He doesn't have anybody else.
His girlfriend doesn't love him.
He's lost. And what's the saying?
You keep your friends close
and your enemies closer.
Right?
I mean, you take a girl like Jenna, right?
Jenna falls in love with you,
and I mean, really in love with you,
then she will do almost
anything you ask. No matter what.
Which
pretty wild.
You just have to give
a reason, real or not.
And how you handle that
power is up to you. But
if you don't handle it well, then
bad things happen.
And bad things happen to Steve?
You don't know the half of it.
Hello?
Hello out there.
I guess by now you know my choice.
The question is this.
When did I film this?
Is it the future?
Or is it the past?
I do know how to work a rewind button.
You know the chick that
lives next door, the kids,
cornfed sex bags?
I'd do her anyway.
Sheila!
Yeah!
It's just a letter opener.
It really couldn't hurt anyone.
Hey, baby.
Uh oh. Looks like someone
had a little too much to drink.
Baby...
Baby, wake up.
Baby. Wake up.
Babe, babe...
Babe...
What'd you do?
What did you do?
Honey, honey, how many did you take, huh?
Baby, wake up.
Wake up. Wake up.
Help!
[heavy breathing] [glitch sounds]
Oh, detective.
Someone did a bad parking
job at 40 miles an hour
on top of Mr. Jeffery Salazar.
There was a witness - a security guard
who was shot six times at point
blank range with his own gun.
There was a stolen car.
Your girlfriend who
tried to, quote unquote,
Commit suicide?
It was an accident. She...
She would've never left her daughter.
She just didn't read the pills...
She didn't read the
label on the pill bottle.
Look, I was the one
who called the hospital.
Right, because things happen.
Just how long after you found
her did you call the hospital?
Five minutes.
You find somebody not moving,
maybe dead, wouldn't your first
instinct be to pick up the phone?
Hmm-mm.
She didn't try to commit suicide.
She would never leave Erin.
I was trying to save her. I was doing CPR.
Save her, course.
That's why you picked
up the phone right away.
What were you really doing there?
Hey. Hey.
You can't talk to him like that.
Yes we can, and who are you?
That doesn't matter,
and this is harassment.
Now if you got something, you charge him.
Arrest him right now.
- Rick, no.
- Turn the camera off, sir.
Uh no, camera stays
on, thank you very much.
Yeah.
Now, if there's nothing further?
Get out.
We'll be in touch.
Sir, whoever you are, I would
watch who I show that tape to.
Yeah or what, you'll shoot me?
Oh, what was that? Was that a threat? Huh?
That was me protecting you, pal.
When they push, you push back.
See, they're going to try to
frame you for this Jeff thing.
They're gonna try and pin
this on you, and if you're not
careful, you're going to be
the one who takes the fall.
But I am protecting you, I just got
them on camera threatening you.
I put this on the internet let it do
No no no no no no no no.
No?
Listen, I've got some
things to figure out, okay?
Okay, well,
while you figure it out.
I don't want to be here
when they come back.
We're going out.
What?
Two points, three points from the NBA line.
Oh my God!
Ooh! I love you.
I'm... I'm Rick. Hi.
Yes, Steve!
Oh my God.
Catch her dude, she's gonna break herself.
Shot time, Steve!
- Shot time!
- No, no.
Hey hey hey hey hey hey.
- No no no no, I paid for, like, two songs.
- No, she's fine, you're fine.
What? Dude, what is your problem?
Dude, is this your idea of a good time?
Yes, actually it is.
This is most guy's idea of a good time.
More booze, bitches! Here.
Yours.
Seriously, can you bring us two more?
Oh, my Gosh.
Is there something you want to tell me?
What do you mean?
I mean, you are the angel of death, man.
Bodies piling up all around you.
I mean, so far, nothing's
been pinned on you.
They've got two dead bodies and a stolen
car, and that's all coincidence, but...
If's don't matter any more, you
know that. The cops were at our door.
They're looking for somebody
to take the ultimate fall on this.
I'm innocent.
Yeah, you shoulda been acting that way.
If I were you, I would use the internet
to my advantage and protect myself.
Talk about being remembered. Look, dude...
I know you're pissed off about Vanessa,
but Vanessa made the wrong choice.
Yeah, she did.
And that, is why I brought you here.
Live a little.
Look at that.
Isis, will you marry me?
- Hey!
- Let's go... What?
There's no filming.
Let's get outta here!
Go, go!
Go, go, go!
Hey, Dude! Here, take it. Oh!
What are you gonna do?
Huh??
Pick up your money, pal.
I can't believe you
threw your camera, dude!
What is wrong with
You're a maniac!
Who's a killer?
Who's a killer?
- You want some of this?
- You're a killer!
What? What? What?
Oh my God.
- Oh! Whoa!
- No, no stopping traffic.
Sorry!
Oh! Oh!
I can't believe I, I don't
even feel like myself.
This is yourself, dude.
This is you.
And this is how an innocent man should act.
Hey, Barton?
Oh, you must be Steve.
Yeah.
But don't worry, I'm a
little disappointed, too.
Rick told me you'd be shorter.
Just a joke!
You always walk around with a camera.
Only to document beautiful things.
Is that your pickup line?
Yeah.
Didn't work.
Why don't you try calling me next time?
Next time?
It's right up here.
- What is?
- Check out the sign.
Oh!
- It's nice, right?
- That's amazing.
You bring girls up here a lot?
Only the ones I find jogging in the park.
Like me?
Yeah, like you.
Come on.
Woah! Where you going?
Come on.
Hold up.
So...
Why didn't it work out with you and Rick?
Rick is not the relationship type.
Told me a few things about you, though.
Really? Like what?
That's not for me to say just yet.
You know, Rick thinks he knows me.
He doesn't.
That's too bad.
- I mean, my friends know me.
- Come on.
- Give me that.
- Whoa, whoa.
- We're going to check out this cave.
- No, no, no.
Come on. What - you
don't want to be on camera?
Do you even know how to
operate one of those things?
Oh, what, like I'm some kind of idiot?
Come on. This will be really cool.
- I promise.
- Okay.
Have you ever been in this cave before?
This is so cool.
What? Smile.
C'mon, tell me something about yourself.
- Like what?
- I don't know.
Tell me something.
Anything.
Well, my last girlfriend
tried to commit suicide
because the person that she was
cheating on me with got murdered.
Are you serious?
Yeah.
Police still haven't found the killer.
He's still out there.
It's too bad there wasn't a camera
around when you needed one, right?
Steve, I wanna go home.
I'm gonna go to the car now.
[glitch sounds]
I need to show you something.
I think you're the only person
that I can trust with this.
You're scaring me.
What's going on?
Sit down.
I haven't shown this to anyone.
I found this
on Steve's footage.
Do you remember
Steve's ex-girlfriend, Kris?
[struggling sounds]
[singer singing]
[rock music]
[rock music continues]
Hey, baby.
Steve, what are you doing?
Saying good morning, sunshine.
Look, I brought you bagels.
Do you have to document
everything that we do?
Of course, honey.
Well, do you like what you see?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
- Come here.
- Okay.
So I met this new girl, Barton.
She is amazing.
I, I like her so much.
Yeah.
I mean, it's really funny,
though, you know, cause
you start to think about,
you know, dating someone new,
and you know, how it's really great
and you just have these
amazing feelings, and...
And then you start to think,
is it really great?
I mean, am I just...
Am I just delusional because.
I could swear that I felt
the same way with Vanessa.
I mean, I felt so good.
And the thanks I got from her
was that I'm not good enough.
I mean, I saved her life.
You know,
I shoulda let her die.
I didn't mean that.
I didn't mean that.
Ah, did I hit rewind?
You know these hermit
crabs live for about 40 years.
They like to travel in pairs.
Kinda romantic, huh?
Yeah, if it's the right pair.
How do I look?
You look hot, look amazing.
Come on.
[ocean sounds]
Hey, where you going?
Oh my God...
Hey! Beautiful girl right here, remember?
Yeah.
Yeah, babe, I know.
So, what are you doing?
I'm just checking out the view, babe.
Just checking out the view.
Okay.
[R&B music]
Hey, babe.
Hey. What are you doing?
Nothing, what are you doing?
Just looking at you.
What?
Is there something you
want to tell me, Steve?
Babe...
Babe...
Babe?
Barton? Barton, stop! Barton, stop!
Are you following her?
Stop stop stop!
- Are you stalking her?
- Stop, shut up, shut up.
Steve!
Is the camera on?
- Just keep it down, all right?
- No.
I am not stalking her.
I'm not stalking her.
- Just calm down.
- You're sick, you are sick!
Okay, you're acting crazy.
Why are you doing this?
I have news for you, Steve.
She didn't want you.
- She didn't want you.
- Shut up!
- Shut up!
- I do.
Shut up! Okay?
No, no, no, you're overreacting right now.
- I'm... listen...
- Just leave me alone.
Let's go somewhere, let's go
I don't wanna talk to you!
Sorry, I just feel like
that thing's watching me.
- Stop it, leave me alone!
- Come here!
Okay, where were we?
Barton!
Steve, no.
Barton!
Turn the camera off!
Turn it off!
Just calm down, okay?
Everything's going to be fine.
Don't... Turn the camera
off and leave me alone.
I don't want to talk about it right now.
Babe...
Babe, I love you, okay?
Let's just go somewhere else
and talk about this, all right?
It's not a big deal.
It's not what it looks like.
Okay?
Why are you following her?
Babe, I'm not following her, she
just happened to be in my shot, okay?
She happened to be in your
shot all the way across the street,
sitting down with her friends.
Your ex-girlfriend
happened to be in your shot?
Baby, I love you.
- Trust me, please.
- You love me.
I saw how you were looking at her.
You looked at her in the
same way you look at me.
The same way. What are you
Do you have like, multiple
personalities or what?
Let's just go, let's just
go somewhere else.
Leave me alone.
Barton!
Leave me alone, Steve!
Get back here!
Oh...
[moaning]
[wind sounds]
[glitch sounds] [struggling sounds]
I gotta check the tape.
Okay, I'll meet her at the coffee shop.
When I get back, I'll check the tape.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Nice bag.
No camera?
No, didn't think it would be appropriate.
I'm impressed.
So why'd you call?
I um... saw your we blog.
Listen, I probably said some things
that I... probably inappropriate.
Yeah. You did.
But I get it, we broke up on bad terms.
Yeah, obviously.
I, I was going through a really hard time.
Yeah, I know, and that's why
I wanted to be there for you.
Would you let me finish?
Yeah, sorry.
My therapist says that I
need to get some closure.
That, um, the reason why you carry that
camera around all the time was to interfere
with intimacy and to distance
our relationship from each other.
Was she...
You brought me here because your therapist?
- I don't need to be here.
- Wait, I wanted to talk to you.
Not for my therapist, but for me.
Would you just please sit down?
I have some things I
need to talk to you about.
Please.
- You really want to see me?
- Yes.
Look, I care about you.
I care about you.
I care about you.
I care about what happens to you.
I care about how you feel I treated you,
but I don't feel the same way about you.
Not anymore.
I need you to understand that.
So you have no real feelings for me at all?
Real? Yes, of course they're real.
But not like before.
No, not like before. I can't.
It was too difficult.
Our relationship was hard.
It's not supposed to be that way.
- I don't need to be here.
- Yes you do.
We can't end it like this.
Can you please listen to me?
No!
Why can't we end this properly as friends?
Why does it have to be
like this? You saved my life.
We were happy once.
Can't we be friends?
This isn't how it's going to end.
Where are you going?
Christ!
Steve!
No! No! No!
[fighting sounds]
No!
[glitch sounds]
Mother...
So when are you going to tell
me about your new girlfriend?
I was trying, you son of a bitch.
I know you saw the tape, Rick.
I know you saw everything.
You know, there's the reason
bodies piling up around me.
And there's a reason you have a gun.
- Why didn't you stop me while you could?
- I already did.
I've already posted
everything up on the internet.
You're done.
Well, after I kill you, I just take
it down. For anybody that seen it,
All I'll be is an urban myth.
Come on, Rick.
You can't shoot me.
You want to be me.
Hurt shoulder?
You son of a bitch...
[struggling sounds]
No! No!
Knife!
No!
No!
I'll kill you!
Help!
Jenna, you getting this?
[glitch sounds]
Mom? Who's that?
Choices, choices.
Huh, Rick?
Oh baby, come here.
You okay?
It's all fun and games...
Until someone gets hurt.
Oh baby, do you still love me?
- Yeah.
- Yeah?
I love you.
Oh baby,
I love you.
Take a girl lke Jenna, right?
Jenna falls in love with you,
I mean really in love with you,
Then she will do almost anything you ask.
No matter what.
You just have to give her a reason.
This is beautiful.
I've been waiting for this moment
for a long time.
Freeze!
Who's the killer?
[smashing sound]
What, are you trying to kill me?
I am about to make him an internet star.
So this is my last blog - So this
is my this is my last blog entry.
I finally don't feel scared anymore.
I keep thinking to myself...
Is this the future or is it the past?
You know,
perhaps I don't need this camera anymore.
Good night.
[white noise]
[dark ambient music]
[ambient music continues]
You know, some of this stuff has
been around for years, almost a decade.
Who knows where all this stuff came
from? This is the stuff nobody wants.
Squiggly lines, sound and color were all
confused, you'd start
out in black and white.
You'd go to color, you'd
go back to black and
white. You never knew
where you were in time.
[white noise]
[upbeat music]
[singer singing]
[upbeat music continues]
[upbeat music continues]
[singing continues]
[upbeat music continues]
[singer continues]
[pop music]
[singing]
[pop music continues]
Wow, I turn the camera on all
of a sudden the truth comes out.
Turn the camera off! Turn it off.
[electronic sounds]
[glitch sounds]
[birds calling]
[thud sound]
I'm recording this just in
case something happens to me.
Stop it!
Somoeone must have seen this.
It's completely out of order.
When I get back, I'll check the tape.
This thing on? Hi.
I'm Steve.
I just got this camera,
and, I thought it'd be cool to,
you know, upload some video
blog stuff onto, my new blog.
Um...
You know, get a chance
to see everyday life of me.
Um...
Yeah.
I'm going to try to film
some really good stuff.
I'm going to make it as
interesting as possible for everyone.
So if you're interested, then you'll watch.
And if you're not, then you wouldn't
be watching this in the first place.
So...
Whoo! I'm nervous this
is my first time doing this.
Everyone wants to be famous, right?
Oh man, I'm going to have
to cut this down a little bit.
Whoooo...
This thing still on?
[glitching sound]
[distant music]
[rock music]
[slow rock music]
[singer singing]
[phone ringing]
Hi, you've reached Kris
I can't get to my phone,
but if you leave a message
I will probably call you back.
[car slows]
[phone dialing] [ringing]
[traffic sounds]
What are you doing?
[screaming] [gunshot]
What are you doing?
Stop it!
Stop it!
[wheezing]
[glitch sounds]
Okay...
Take three. Hi.
I am Steve. Ah, here's
something interesting.
I guess
The future.
Lucky eights.
Or is it the past?
No one knows.
This right here, though.
Very serious.
It's my rubber band ball.
Kind of gets me through the day.
Yeah, it's kind of like prison.
But instead of marking up the walls,
this rubber band ball just gets bigger.
But...
Steven, you got those files ready for me?
Uhhh...
What are you doing?
Nothing. Nothing. We'll try this again.
All right.
Oh, wow.
There is Jenna.
She's a bit stuck up, but
she's got a sick body.
Oooh...
Oh yeah, right.
You have no chance, Dude.
Let's get a little better look here.
Steve?
What're you doing?
Nothing.
Were you just filming me?
No, I...
Gross - Whooo... alright.
Okay, let's get the lights.
Let's see what we can see.
Let's check out the beautiful view
right here.
There you are.
I don't know why I can't find anybody.
I mean,
I always feel like I'm
the outsider, you know?
How do other people do it?
I don't know, I just,
I feel like I've always
been two degrees off.
I hate this.
[static sounds]
[distant chatter]
What are you doing?
Get out of here!
So, more about me.
See, I uhhh... I was born in the Midwest.
Wisconsin, to be exact.
Moved to the big city.
Kind of lost the accent.
Yeah, I just,
I don't know.
I couldn't do a small
town for the rest of my life.
I needed to see what was out there.
So here I am.
Ummm...
Yeah, people back home...
I don't know, I guess I
was considered the nice guy.
I used to have this crush on this girl.
Oh, man.
- Blond haired, blue eyed.
- Typical.
- Of course.
- Yeah.
I used to ride my bike up and
down her block every single day.
I mean.
I don't know what I was thinking.
It sounded like she was going to
run outside and see me
and want to jump on me
and make mad sex, you know,
tell everyone at school about it.
It's interesting, though.
Did I want to have sex with her?
Or did I want everyone at school
to know that I had sex with her?
This is weird.
Wow, I turn the camera
on and all of a sudden
the truth comes out.
Okay, I'm going to have to edit this down
a little bit.
What is going on.
Here is a photo of my ex-girlfriend, Kris.
Record you piece of
Stop it!
Stop! Okay, really?
C'mere here, Steve...
This is my living room.
All right. Over here.
We got some art strewn about,
some creepy heads in the corner.
That is my TV.
- I got that piece in Oaxaca, Mexico.
- All right.
Over here...
I've got a painting that I
bought at a garage sale.
And that is Rick's idea of art.
Yeah.
The less said, really.
Okay. Oh, wow.
This is a cool shot.
Down here, we have an awesome banner.
Ah jeez!
Okay.
-You ruined my shot.
-What are you doing?
What's this for, Dude? Let me get in it.
Okay, everybody, this is my roommate, Rick.
Okay. Say hi, Rick.
-Hi, Rick.
-Inspired.
- Thank you.
- Here, get out of my way. I'm trying
Come on. I'm trying to shoot
Here it is.
Stevie's Ovarius Rex.
Rarely is it ever seen out in the daylight.
But here it is, in all its glory.
Performing a ritual to make it
more attractive to other mates.
Unfortunately, this
particular creature has spent
too much time with his ass on the
couch and other nonexertive activities.
But luckily, he's chosen a
park area where other mates
won't see him and rightfully mock him for
the poor performance... Hey! Gimme that!
He's gonna puke! Careful!
Great.
Great. You probably broke it.
Me? I was the one lunging for it.
Sorry.
The red light's still
on, it's probably fine.
See?
And it's a camera, man.
Remember, material posessions
they are fleeting, grasshopper.
Yeah, that may be, but
I still paid $500 for this.
Come on over here. You'll miss
it. I'll show you how it's done.
Two, three. See?
- This is how you do it.
- Seems to be working.
Six. Count with me.
Seven.
Come on...
I can't, I can't.. Yeah I can.
Eight. Nine.
- All right, all right. Stop, Dude.
- Should I do the one arm?
Okay. I'm glad you can count.
That's awesome.
Dude, somebody call the veterinarian
these pythons are sick!
Miss Bigsby, Hudson Pre-school.
Taught me all my numbers.
- Basic edition.
- Yeah. Good school.
Oh, when's your graduation again?
Oh, funny. Now
you ready to give it another go?
Come on, Beefcake, what you got?
Yeah, I thought about it.
No. I'm good.
How many, did you do? Exactly.
Did you get one?
- I got two. - Two?
- Yeah.
We might have to look at the
tape, folks, cause I saw one.
I obviously don't have as
much time as you do, Rick.
Uhhh, yeah.
Whatcha been doing?
Stuff.
Like?
Why do you care?
I care, dude. I'm your friend, man
trying to catch up.
What's up with you? I don't see you.
- Wow.
- What?
Look at that.
She's coming right down here. Look at that.
- Good morning.
- Yeah, good morning is right.
Ooh...
- OK, hold this, gotta go.
- What? Oh yeah, right.
She is so out of your league, Rick.
Yours maybe, mine no. I've got this.
Okay.
Excuse me. Coming through...
Oh, shoot.
- Oh, my God, what a douche.
- I'm good.
Tell me that doesn't work.
Wow. I'm sorry, I didn't.
Did I hurt you?
- No way.
- I was just trying to...
Run on through here and I
didn't want to break my stride.
- What a tool.
- Sorry!
[upbeat music]
Gun show...
Welcome to the gun show.
[continues singing]
Rick!
Get outta here!
My firm's Christmas party.
Hate these things, so depressing.
Makes you think of the year just
gone by and how you wasted it.
How you're still in exactly the same spot.
- Oh, no, look who it is.
- Oh. What's this?
Smile, kids, you're on Candid Camera.
This is a recording for his we blog.
- Uh-uh and who's interested in that?
- That's what I said.
- Thank you. Brenda.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
A lot of people are doing
stuff like this, it's not ike, weird.
Instead of working, right?
Oh, supervisor Kyle
- brought the hammer.
- You know what?
I'm probably going to be stuck in
this dead end job for the rest of my life,
so I need to make my mark
on the world somehow. Right?
Uh-huh and what people
are going to be watching this?
That's what I said. Thank
you. Nobody would watch this.
- No, no, no, Rick...
- You don't know what's interesting.
Thank you.
There he is, kids. The party animal!
It's Steve!
He's got a medium five figure salary and
just six payments left
on a 91 Nissan Stanza.
It's a beautiful ride, girls.
Come on down.
He's a one drink wonder.
He's into aggressive
sex and he likes to watch.
Just give me the camera back.
No, no, no. You do not
know what's interesting.
- Now, come on, give me a drink.
- Come on.
Look at that. I'm almost out here,
Give me that old, uhh come on.
The eternal optimist
speech. That's one of the best.
It's a Christmas party.
Have fun.
Why do you even care?
You're Jewish.
Nice.
Take this.
It'll be so much fun, I promise.
It'll be so much fun.
Yeah, it's all fun and games,
Steve, until someone gets hurt.
- I'll make it worth your while.
- Ohhh (laughs)
Hey. Hey, Jenna.
Give me the camera.
No, Rick.
[upbeat music]
C'mon in, Steve.
Okay.
So Steven, what's up?
Not much.
Your yearly review,
how do you think you did?
I think I did okay.
Didn't I?
I've seen better.
A lot better.
In fact, I'd go as far as to say that
a review of your performance
over this past year
is not impressive at all.
So I'm fired.
No, I didn't say that.
But you're going to.
Your performance was average.
We don't fire anyone for average.
At least not initially.
Look, Steven, I know you
want to be a junior in training.
And for now, your data entry work is great.
It's keep them company running. But,
your behavior at work is a
completely different matter.
What do you mean?
People seem to be concerned
about your personality.
We've had complaints.
People just aren't comfortable
being around you.
It actually scares them.
What?
You know, I can't tell you that.
People aren't comfortable around me...
Well, what's wrong with me?
I can't be the worst
person in the office, surely.
What about Rick?
No, everybody likes Rick.
So you're gonna fire me?
No, but this has to change.
How do I change it?
I don't know. Find a way.
Ask Rick.
Okay.
Thank you, Mr. McGavin.
- Busted.
- Gimme my camera, Rick.
I hate it when this happens.
Hi Jenna!
Gimme my camera!
Oh, people like me!
[glitch sounds]
[distant calm music]
I actaully think I saw a bun from her Mom.
Wasn't she famous for like, six months?
That's what Janice said.
I don't know what she did with
the money for real, but it was nuts
spent on this party.
Booze, awful.
I know, I'm hungry.
Oh, come on, the party is not that bad.
Our party was way worse.
Who do you work for?
W.M. Allen and Associates.
We're right across the street.
It's okay if you know who they are.
Then who invited you?
I crashed.
Oh, I'm out of here.
No, really, I, I heard the catering
food was top notch, so
I wanted to check it out.
Got this really big rubber band
ball that I've been working on.
- How big is it?
- Well...
Listen I'm taking off, you want a ride?
- No, no, no, I'm good.
- Are you sure?
Absolutely.
Ok, have fun.
What are you...
What it... are you... What
are you doing with that?
I am...
This is kind of a hobby of mine.
I like to document things.
I think that perhaps this might be the
beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Oh, so you're gonna show it
to our grandkids or something?
Perhaps, I like where
you're going with this.
I should really be creeped out right now.
Oh, wow. Look at that necklace.
- Gorgeous.
- Oh, thank you.
It's Saint Christopher, the patron saint
the Lord's prayer.
Hey, Miss Salazar, happy Christmas.
Hey, merry Christmas to you.
Watch out for the drink.
You gotta drive tonight.
Oh, yeah.
Thanks. I'm okay. Merry Christmas.
Bye, dad.
- Who is that?
- That was security.
And you should probably go,
because they're really tight here.
Oh, really?
Yes, really.
Well, you're going to
turn me in or something?
Well, you know, I might.
Well, what would Saint Christopher say?
Forgive thy trespasses, ah?
You are really sure
of yourself, aren't you?
Can I get your name, please?
Vanessa.
I must be desperate.
Just so you know, I don't normally
bring stalkers with cameras into my house.
You are harmless, aren't you?
Oh, thanks.
Thanks a lot.
I'm just playing.
Oh, you're so pretty.
Can I give you a kiss?
Yeah.
Sit down.
Make yourself comfortable.
Okay.
Okay.
Film me.
Really?
Why do anything if it's
not on camera, right?
I mean,
alcohol makes me do
things I wouldn't normally do.
Don't you want to find out what they are?
Yes. Yes, I would.
Mom?
Who's that?
I'm Steve,
and you are?
Erin.
Erin.
Cool.
Why do you have a camera?
I'm making a movie about
my life, and your mommy's in it.
Can I be in it?
You already are.
Come on, hun, let's get
you tucked back into bed.
Sorry about that.
Where were we?
Okay.
Bad habit. Let's see.
Ideas?
Well, for instance, you...
[glitch sounds]
[rock music]
I know what you've done, Steve.
I have seen the tape.
This tape
and the camera doesn't lie.
Or does it? Da da dum!
What am I supposed to do?
Flip a coin? Consult the I Ching?
You know, I do
happen to like your life better than mine.
Should I stop you and take it over?
Tough choice.
What do you think, fellow bloggers?
You think I could get away with it?
The fate of your world.
It's heads.
Hello?
Hello?
What, are you trying to kill me?
Oh! Oh!
Now, why would I want to do that?
I don't know.
You are.
I am not.
I would never do such a thing.
What kind of person would do that?
Oh you're sweaty. Yuck.
Yeah. You're sweaty too.
But you love it.
Yeahhhhh!
- Hello.
- Rick, what are you doing here?
I always come here.
You are the stalker, remember?
- Rick.
- Vanessa.
- Vanessa. Rick.
- Why, hello.
Nice to meet you. Jinx.
Double jinx.
- And you can't double jinx me.
- I just did.
What are you going to do about it?
- Oh, you will see.
- I will, huh?
Yes.
- She's pretty cool.
- Yeah.
- Yeah. Let's go.
- Why thank you, sir.
- Why, no no, no. Thank you.
- Double jinx.
You can't double jinx,
it's kind of how it works.
See if we have to say
something at the same time.
Jinx! Oh I got you!
Okay, guys, you guys
are being really stupid.
Jinx!
She's all right.
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
Yeah. So um...
You know, we have kind of a
strange connection, you and I.
- We do, I think we do.
- Interesting.
Don't you think so, Steve?
- Just a little.
- No, actually, I, I don't.
I think you guys are being
really weird and stupid.
I know it's true. What
are you gonna do about it?
Yeah, you gonna actually put
down the camera and run after us?
No way.
I tell him that all the time and
he never really can keep up with me ever.
- He doesn't listen, he's very competitive.
- He is.
- Wow, really?
- And yet, always seem to beat him.
Me too. Interesting.
- Okay you guys are being really stupid.
- You've said.
You know what?
I think I could take you in a race.
Oh, you can't...
Where are you guys going?
What you got?!
Winner! Did I cross that line
I hate you, Rick.
You can't keep up, can you?
I haven't even floored it yet.
I'm still being nice.
Yeah, babe, I'm doing just fine.
Babe, come here.
What?
Come here.
Look at you.
You know, maybe if you'd put that damn
camera down, you could keep up with me.
One day you're going to look back at this,
and you're gonna see how beautiful you were
and how you could run down the
block without losing your breath.
Trust me.
I never look back.
Oh, Jesus. Sorry. I'm sorry. I
didn't see you. I didn't see you.
Hey, what are you doing up on this floor?
Oh, nothing.
You shouldn't have.
I didn't, Jenna.
Nice card.
Sorry, Jenna.
You missed your chance.
Oh, in your dreams.
Whatever.
You'll be back.
Wow.
Okay, everybody,
this is my Valentine's
message to all of you.
And for all the ladies out
there, Jenna included...
I'm taken.
Happy Valentine's Day.
Hey, Baby.
These are for you.
I love you.
I love you.
Okay.
All right, let's do this for real.
All right.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Excuse me, Sir?
Sir, did you...
Did you check in with council?
Hi, Dad.
Did you check in with - sir? Hey! Sir!
I'm a hopeless romantic.
Sir... Hey. Sir!
Okay, here we go.
There she is.
My beautiful valentine.
Oh, look, she's got some
cards on her table already.
And some flowers that
I definitely did not send.
Huh. She's popular.
Oh, she looks so angelic sitting there.
[electronic sounds]
Amore...
Rick, quit hiding my camera!
Ah, you left it on.
Hey, am I doing this right?
Is the red light on?
Hmm-mm.
Then, yeah. You're doing it right.
Ahhhh.
There he is.
Come on.
- Smile for me.
- What?
You don't like it when
the camera's on you, huh?
No it's not that.
Then what?
Nothing.
It's just been one of those days, Babe.
Oh. I'm sorry.
Here.
This will cheer you up.
But wait, wait.
I want to get this.
Perfect.
Okay. Come on.
Open it.
Happy Valentine's day.
See, he could keep an eye
on you when I'm not around.
Thanks, honey.
So, are you going to
tell me what was wrong?
[indie rock music]
I missed you, too.
Is Erin in her room?
No. She's with her dad, Jeff.
Come on.
Don't forget your bear.
Now come on.
We're almost there.
You said that five minutes ago.
Oh, would you stop?
You are such a wimp.
Come on.
I want to show you something up here.
There it is.
The Hollywood sign.
Oh! No way.
Yeah, isn't it great from right there?
I've never seen it that close.
Oh, wow.
That's cool.
Okay, come on.
You want some water?
Vanessa?
Yeah?
I know you've been talking to Jeff.
How do you know that?
What - are you trying to hide it from me?
How would you know that?
Have you been following me?
Are you trying to hide it from me?
Back off!
- Hey there, Mamacita.
- Hi.
Oh, wow.
Baby, you look sexy.
Yeah?
Are you feeling better now?
I feel a lot better now.
I think you should put the camera down.
- Really?
- Yeah.
Why, baby?
Cause you need your hands free.
- I think you're right.
- Yeah.
Yeah!
Shhhhh...
[static sounds]
How would you know that?
That's none of your business.
No, it is my business.
You're my girfriend,
right? What are you doing
He's the father of my child.
And that is none of your business.
I have to talk to him.
How do you know that?
You've been following me.
I needed to know and now I know.
I'm my own person.
You know what? Just go!
I don't need you, Vanessa.
Yeah, you don't need me.
Mr. Clingy doesn't need me, okay.
[indie rock music]
I just really need to talk to somebody.
[voicemail sounds]
My relationship with Vanessa is over.
It's dead.
You know, I read somewhere that,
the death of something is the rebirth
of something else.
Do you think that's true?
I don't know whether
to believe that or not.
I don't really care.
You know to be honest, I'm afraid of death.
Might seem kind of weird, but...
You know, people say that
everything comes from your soul.
What soul?
You live, you die.
What else is there?
I remember when I was a little kid,
I broke my hand.
I went to the doctor's office
and saw the X-ray.
And I saw my bones.
It's just bones.
That from that point on,
I realized
how fragile
life is. And how
anyone can die at any moment.
It's the scariest thing in the world.
You can't control it.
No one can control it.
And I'm scared.
I'm truly scared and I don't know...
I don't know what to do about that.
Because I have no control over it.
At least I'm scared.
At least I feel something.
There he is.
All right, it's on.
Rick, turn it off.
Nope, nope. Camera stays on, my friend.
You know the rules.
Can't you just hide it again?
No! You would see that coming.
And use that.
Good.
How you doing?
I'd be better if you
left me the hell alone.
Wow.
That's some real life emotion there, folks.
Unedited. On today's show,
the Broken Hearts Club with Steve.
So tell us, your girlfriend's
ex back in the picture
and your jealousy screwed it up, right?
- No.
- Yes.
This from the guy who can't
gracefully lose at Monopoly.
Come on, Dude. It's me.
No.
Listen, she screwed it up.
Okay.
All right then.
Well, you know how we're
going to get over that one?
No, but I bet you'll tell me.
Oh, but I will.
You gotta get back on that horse, man.
Yeah, like who?
Well, I hear Jenna's available.
Oh, here.
That's funny.
Great plan.
Or Barton?
Who's Barton?
The girl we met in the park.
Oh, no. The girl I met in the park.
You were too slow doing your shy thing.
Whatever, Dude.
Seriously. Seriously.
As I see it, you have two options.
One, the park.
For what little I know
about Barton, she likes to jog,
She is sexy as all hell. And dare I say it?
She's actually nice.
Which means you got a shot.
That you better take really fast,
because I will run out and tap that ass.
This is my one offer. Take it or leave it.
Or?
Or...
You track down this ex-husband,
and you wait till you've got him alone,
and you bash his head in with a crowbar.
But that's just option two.
And I was kidding...
Should the authorities ever get this tape.
Vanessa,
listen, I know you're there, I can see you.
It's the third message I've left today.
We haven't spoken in like...
I know you're seeing him.
I know you're seeing him.
How dare you do that to me!
Steven?
My office.
Hello.
Best of luck.
Thanks.
Oh, big joke, huh?
I just got fired.
- You happy?
- Dude, Rick...
Come on.
- Come on.
- Wait.
Look, I bet right now is the
best time to ask Jenna out.
There's no way she'd
turn you down right now.
I'm done with this.
I'm done.
I'm not posting any more blogs.
And to you, Vanessa?
[distant rock music]
Dude...
Dude, what the...
[car engine revs]
[car crashing sounds]
So you're gonna show it to
our grandkids or something.
[laughing]
[choral music]
Hey, hey, stop right there! Stop right
[struggling sounds]
[gunshots]
[choking sounds]
[gunshots]
Caught you, you son of a bitch!
Steve! Steve! Jesus, man!
Dude!
Damn it, I got a hurt shoulder.
You okay?
No, I'm not okay.
I have a hurt shoulder
and you made it worse.
Sorry.
Little advice, next time you walk into a
room, make sure you look around first.
What happened to you?
I fell. You?
I fell.
Okay.
Okay.
Tell me something.
When you fell, you had the camera on you?
Give me my camera.
You always have the camera on you, right?
Always have the camera.
- What's on the tape, man?
- Nothing!
Wow.
Jenna, come here. Check this out.
Here she comes.
Come here.
Come.
Here.
This is the best.
This is absolutely classic.
Oh, you remember that?
What are you guys watching?
That was awesome.
It's all fun and games
until someone gets hurt.
Oh, whatever.
Come on. It's a joke.
It's a joke.
Grow up.
Oh, c'mon.
Okay. Check this part out.
Make sure you're getting this, Brenda.
Uh yep. Yep. Gettin' it.
- Rick, this is great.
- So cruel, man.
I mean, he was fired
because of crap like this.
Hey, I am about to
make him an internet star.
You can't put a price on that.
Man, this is kind of crazy.
Yeah.
I mean, how can you do this to Steve, man?
He's your friend and your roommate.
I mean, you invited me to your place.
- He pays you rent.
- He made the choice.
I mean,
Steve is not my first roommate,
and he won't be my last.
But I am the best friend
that Steve will ever have.
And deep down, he knows that.
He doesn't have anybody else.
His girlfriend doesn't love him.
He's lost. And what's the saying?
You keep your friends close
and your enemies closer.
Right?
I mean, you take a girl like Jenna, right?
Jenna falls in love with you,
and I mean, really in love with you,
then she will do almost
anything you ask. No matter what.
Which
pretty wild.
You just have to give
a reason, real or not.
And how you handle that
power is up to you. But
if you don't handle it well, then
bad things happen.
And bad things happen to Steve?
You don't know the half of it.
Hello?
Hello out there.
I guess by now you know my choice.
The question is this.
When did I film this?
Is it the future?
Or is it the past?
I do know how to work a rewind button.
You know the chick that
lives next door, the kids,
cornfed sex bags?
I'd do her anyway.
Sheila!
Yeah!
It's just a letter opener.
It really couldn't hurt anyone.
Hey, baby.
Uh oh. Looks like someone
had a little too much to drink.
Baby...
Baby, wake up.
Baby. Wake up.
Babe, babe...
Babe...
What'd you do?
What did you do?
Honey, honey, how many did you take, huh?
Baby, wake up.
Wake up. Wake up.
Help!
[heavy breathing] [glitch sounds]
Oh, detective.
Someone did a bad parking
job at 40 miles an hour
on top of Mr. Jeffery Salazar.
There was a witness - a security guard
who was shot six times at point
blank range with his own gun.
There was a stolen car.
Your girlfriend who
tried to, quote unquote,
Commit suicide?
It was an accident. She...
She would've never left her daughter.
She just didn't read the pills...
She didn't read the
label on the pill bottle.
Look, I was the one
who called the hospital.
Right, because things happen.
Just how long after you found
her did you call the hospital?
Five minutes.
You find somebody not moving,
maybe dead, wouldn't your first
instinct be to pick up the phone?
Hmm-mm.
She didn't try to commit suicide.
She would never leave Erin.
I was trying to save her. I was doing CPR.
Save her, course.
That's why you picked
up the phone right away.
What were you really doing there?
Hey. Hey.
You can't talk to him like that.
Yes we can, and who are you?
That doesn't matter,
and this is harassment.
Now if you got something, you charge him.
Arrest him right now.
- Rick, no.
- Turn the camera off, sir.
Uh no, camera stays
on, thank you very much.
Yeah.
Now, if there's nothing further?
Get out.
We'll be in touch.
Sir, whoever you are, I would
watch who I show that tape to.
Yeah or what, you'll shoot me?
Oh, what was that? Was that a threat? Huh?
That was me protecting you, pal.
When they push, you push back.
See, they're going to try to
frame you for this Jeff thing.
They're gonna try and pin
this on you, and if you're not
careful, you're going to be
the one who takes the fall.
But I am protecting you, I just got
them on camera threatening you.
I put this on the internet let it do
No no no no no no no no.
No?
Listen, I've got some
things to figure out, okay?
Okay, well,
while you figure it out.
I don't want to be here
when they come back.
We're going out.
What?
Two points, three points from the NBA line.
Oh my God!
Ooh! I love you.
I'm... I'm Rick. Hi.
Yes, Steve!
Oh my God.
Catch her dude, she's gonna break herself.
Shot time, Steve!
- Shot time!
- No, no.
Hey hey hey hey hey hey.
- No no no no, I paid for, like, two songs.
- No, she's fine, you're fine.
What? Dude, what is your problem?
Dude, is this your idea of a good time?
Yes, actually it is.
This is most guy's idea of a good time.
More booze, bitches! Here.
Yours.
Seriously, can you bring us two more?
Oh, my Gosh.
Is there something you want to tell me?
What do you mean?
I mean, you are the angel of death, man.
Bodies piling up all around you.
I mean, so far, nothing's
been pinned on you.
They've got two dead bodies and a stolen
car, and that's all coincidence, but...
If's don't matter any more, you
know that. The cops were at our door.
They're looking for somebody
to take the ultimate fall on this.
I'm innocent.
Yeah, you shoulda been acting that way.
If I were you, I would use the internet
to my advantage and protect myself.
Talk about being remembered. Look, dude...
I know you're pissed off about Vanessa,
but Vanessa made the wrong choice.
Yeah, she did.
And that, is why I brought you here.
Live a little.
Look at that.
Isis, will you marry me?
- Hey!
- Let's go... What?
There's no filming.
Let's get outta here!
Go, go!
Go, go, go!
Hey, Dude! Here, take it. Oh!
What are you gonna do?
Huh??
Pick up your money, pal.
I can't believe you
threw your camera, dude!
What is wrong with
You're a maniac!
Who's a killer?
Who's a killer?
- You want some of this?
- You're a killer!
What? What? What?
Oh my God.
- Oh! Whoa!
- No, no stopping traffic.
Sorry!
Oh! Oh!
I can't believe I, I don't
even feel like myself.
This is yourself, dude.
This is you.
And this is how an innocent man should act.
Hey, Barton?
Oh, you must be Steve.
Yeah.
But don't worry, I'm a
little disappointed, too.
Rick told me you'd be shorter.
Just a joke!
You always walk around with a camera.
Only to document beautiful things.
Is that your pickup line?
Yeah.
Didn't work.
Why don't you try calling me next time?
Next time?
It's right up here.
- What is?
- Check out the sign.
Oh!
- It's nice, right?
- That's amazing.
You bring girls up here a lot?
Only the ones I find jogging in the park.
Like me?
Yeah, like you.
Come on.
Woah! Where you going?
Come on.
Hold up.
So...
Why didn't it work out with you and Rick?
Rick is not the relationship type.
Told me a few things about you, though.
Really? Like what?
That's not for me to say just yet.
You know, Rick thinks he knows me.
He doesn't.
That's too bad.
- I mean, my friends know me.
- Come on.
- Give me that.
- Whoa, whoa.
- We're going to check out this cave.
- No, no, no.
Come on. What - you
don't want to be on camera?
Do you even know how to
operate one of those things?
Oh, what, like I'm some kind of idiot?
Come on. This will be really cool.
- I promise.
- Okay.
Have you ever been in this cave before?
This is so cool.
What? Smile.
C'mon, tell me something about yourself.
- Like what?
- I don't know.
Tell me something.
Anything.
Well, my last girlfriend
tried to commit suicide
because the person that she was
cheating on me with got murdered.
Are you serious?
Yeah.
Police still haven't found the killer.
He's still out there.
It's too bad there wasn't a camera
around when you needed one, right?
Steve, I wanna go home.
I'm gonna go to the car now.
[glitch sounds]
I need to show you something.
I think you're the only person
that I can trust with this.
You're scaring me.
What's going on?
Sit down.
I haven't shown this to anyone.
I found this
on Steve's footage.
Do you remember
Steve's ex-girlfriend, Kris?
[struggling sounds]
[singer singing]
[rock music]
[rock music continues]
Hey, baby.
Steve, what are you doing?
Saying good morning, sunshine.
Look, I brought you bagels.
Do you have to document
everything that we do?
Of course, honey.
Well, do you like what you see?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
- Come here.
- Okay.
So I met this new girl, Barton.
She is amazing.
I, I like her so much.
Yeah.
I mean, it's really funny,
though, you know, cause
you start to think about,
you know, dating someone new,
and you know, how it's really great
and you just have these
amazing feelings, and...
And then you start to think,
is it really great?
I mean, am I just...
Am I just delusional because.
I could swear that I felt
the same way with Vanessa.
I mean, I felt so good.
And the thanks I got from her
was that I'm not good enough.
I mean, I saved her life.
You know,
I shoulda let her die.
I didn't mean that.
I didn't mean that.
Ah, did I hit rewind?
You know these hermit
crabs live for about 40 years.
They like to travel in pairs.
Kinda romantic, huh?
Yeah, if it's the right pair.
How do I look?
You look hot, look amazing.
Come on.
[ocean sounds]
Hey, where you going?
Oh my God...
Hey! Beautiful girl right here, remember?
Yeah.
Yeah, babe, I know.
So, what are you doing?
I'm just checking out the view, babe.
Just checking out the view.
Okay.
[R&B music]
Hey, babe.
Hey. What are you doing?
Nothing, what are you doing?
Just looking at you.
What?
Is there something you
want to tell me, Steve?
Babe...
Babe...
Babe?
Barton? Barton, stop! Barton, stop!
Are you following her?
Stop stop stop!
- Are you stalking her?
- Stop, shut up, shut up.
Steve!
Is the camera on?
- Just keep it down, all right?
- No.
I am not stalking her.
I'm not stalking her.
- Just calm down.
- You're sick, you are sick!
Okay, you're acting crazy.
Why are you doing this?
I have news for you, Steve.
She didn't want you.
- She didn't want you.
- Shut up!
- Shut up!
- I do.
Shut up! Okay?
No, no, no, you're overreacting right now.
- I'm... listen...
- Just leave me alone.
Let's go somewhere, let's go
I don't wanna talk to you!
Sorry, I just feel like
that thing's watching me.
- Stop it, leave me alone!
- Come here!
Okay, where were we?
Barton!
Steve, no.
Barton!
Turn the camera off!
Turn it off!
Just calm down, okay?
Everything's going to be fine.
Don't... Turn the camera
off and leave me alone.
I don't want to talk about it right now.
Babe...
Babe, I love you, okay?
Let's just go somewhere else
and talk about this, all right?
It's not a big deal.
It's not what it looks like.
Okay?
Why are you following her?
Babe, I'm not following her, she
just happened to be in my shot, okay?
She happened to be in your
shot all the way across the street,
sitting down with her friends.
Your ex-girlfriend
happened to be in your shot?
Baby, I love you.
- Trust me, please.
- You love me.
I saw how you were looking at her.
You looked at her in the
same way you look at me.
The same way. What are you
Do you have like, multiple
personalities or what?
Let's just go, let's just
go somewhere else.
Leave me alone.
Barton!
Leave me alone, Steve!
Get back here!
Oh...
[moaning]
[wind sounds]
[glitch sounds] [struggling sounds]
I gotta check the tape.
Okay, I'll meet her at the coffee shop.
When I get back, I'll check the tape.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Nice bag.
No camera?
No, didn't think it would be appropriate.
I'm impressed.
So why'd you call?
I um... saw your we blog.
Listen, I probably said some things
that I... probably inappropriate.
Yeah. You did.
But I get it, we broke up on bad terms.
Yeah, obviously.
I, I was going through a really hard time.
Yeah, I know, and that's why
I wanted to be there for you.
Would you let me finish?
Yeah, sorry.
My therapist says that I
need to get some closure.
That, um, the reason why you carry that
camera around all the time was to interfere
with intimacy and to distance
our relationship from each other.
Was she...
You brought me here because your therapist?
- I don't need to be here.
- Wait, I wanted to talk to you.
Not for my therapist, but for me.
Would you just please sit down?
I have some things I
need to talk to you about.
Please.
- You really want to see me?
- Yes.
Look, I care about you.
I care about you.
I care about you.
I care about what happens to you.
I care about how you feel I treated you,
but I don't feel the same way about you.
Not anymore.
I need you to understand that.
So you have no real feelings for me at all?
Real? Yes, of course they're real.
But not like before.
No, not like before. I can't.
It was too difficult.
Our relationship was hard.
It's not supposed to be that way.
- I don't need to be here.
- Yes you do.
We can't end it like this.
Can you please listen to me?
No!
Why can't we end this properly as friends?
Why does it have to be
like this? You saved my life.
We were happy once.
Can't we be friends?
This isn't how it's going to end.
Where are you going?
Christ!
Steve!
No! No! No!
[fighting sounds]
No!
[glitch sounds]
Mother...
So when are you going to tell
me about your new girlfriend?
I was trying, you son of a bitch.
I know you saw the tape, Rick.
I know you saw everything.
You know, there's the reason
bodies piling up around me.
And there's a reason you have a gun.
- Why didn't you stop me while you could?
- I already did.
I've already posted
everything up on the internet.
You're done.
Well, after I kill you, I just take
it down. For anybody that seen it,
All I'll be is an urban myth.
Come on, Rick.
You can't shoot me.
You want to be me.
Hurt shoulder?
You son of a bitch...
[struggling sounds]
No! No!
Knife!
No!
No!
I'll kill you!
Help!
Jenna, you getting this?
[glitch sounds]
Mom? Who's that?
Choices, choices.
Huh, Rick?
Oh baby, come here.
You okay?
It's all fun and games...
Until someone gets hurt.
Oh baby, do you still love me?
- Yeah.
- Yeah?
I love you.
Oh baby,
I love you.
Take a girl lke Jenna, right?
Jenna falls in love with you,
I mean really in love with you,
Then she will do almost anything you ask.
No matter what.
You just have to give her a reason.
This is beautiful.
I've been waiting for this moment
for a long time.
Freeze!
Who's the killer?
[smashing sound]
What, are you trying to kill me?
I am about to make him an internet star.
So this is my last blog - So this
is my this is my last blog entry.
I finally don't feel scared anymore.
I keep thinking to myself...
Is this the future or is it the past?
You know,
perhaps I don't need this camera anymore.
Good night.
[white noise]
[dark ambient music]
[ambient music continues]
You know, some of this stuff has
been around for years, almost a decade.
Who knows where all this stuff came
from? This is the stuff nobody wants.
Squiggly lines, sound and color were all
confused, you'd start
out in black and white.
You'd go to color, you'd
go back to black and
white. You never knew
where you were in time.
[white noise]
[upbeat music]
[singer singing]
[upbeat music continues]
[upbeat music continues]
[singing continues]
[upbeat music continues]
[singer continues]
[pop music]
[singing]
[pop music continues]
Wow, I turn the camera on all
of a sudden the truth comes out.
Turn the camera off! Turn it off.