Disco (2008) Movie Script
A letter from England.
That English woman.
No more banana boats for Le Havre!
They're re-routing through Antwerp!
Down with relocation!
The harbor's on strike!
GENERAL STRIKE
HIGH SEAS STREE This is serious, Didier.
Slippers, please.
Respect the floor
and the person who polishes it.
Okay. l know.
You know nothing at all.
Your son's mother writes
that Brian will not come.
l translate...
"Brian will not spend
his vacation in Le Havre
"if it's to let him
roam the streets
"and betting offices."
That's what it says...
Maybe it's time to learn English.
lt's the least you can do
when your son is British.
Don't you think?
lt makes me sick.
lf we hadn't reimbursed
the neighbors!
Damn waterbeds!
- You sleep well in a normal bed.
- l meant well.
The bargain of a lifetime.
l wanted to share it.
C'mon, stop it.
We'll come through.
l'm onto something big.
Humongous.
l've sicced the consumer radio
station on them.
Believe me,
they'll be quaking at Gondolo's.
They won't soon forget...
"Didier the Brute."
Well, to see his son again
he'll need a job...
The Brute.
Another zero!
To find a job nowadays,
you gotta know three languages.
You need a trucker's permit,
a permit for the permit.
Even dishwashers need
a water permit.
lt's all bullshit.
Zero again!
My mom...for the bread.
Gotta do something.
Brigitte won't send the kid
if l don't give him a real vacation.
Another zero!
Give me a Vegas scratch card.
Look at me, Rodolphe.
One day l won't even have a coin
to scratch with.
l once knew a different Didier.
A Didier who stood proud.
A toreador in ankle boots
who defied the laws of gravity.
He caressed all space
while tickling the stars.
That Didier we called
Didier Travolta.
That was the real Didier.
- Jackson! What brings you here?
- Look at yourself.
Just look.
l saw you with your
shopping caddy today.
l felt sick to my stomach.
Where's the go-getter
of High Seas Street?
Where is he...
the leader of the Bee Kings?
The musketeers of disco?
l think they lost their d'Artagnan.
l took over the Gin Fizz
but it's not to make it Roseland.
Daddy's reviving
the disco dance competition.
Everyone thought me dead!
Daddy's still here!
Disco's back, guys.
You ready, Didio?
You know disco died for me
after the Boney M. drummer died.
Have it your way.
By the way,
fist prize is a trip to Australia.
Kangaroo land.
For two.
Greetings, everybody.
Welcome to the Gin Fizz!
Without further ado,
let's lift the veil
on the Big Plan for the Gin Fizz.
Daddy's concept:
The Gin Fizz Academy.
The veil!
l've simply replaced
singer contestants
with dancer candidates.
Enrollment is almost closed.
l'll ask our contestants to join me
on the podium.
16 contestants, only one...
17 contestants, only one winner!
That's it, friends.
Have a good evening.
And now, make way for disco.
So? Was l good?
Dishonest, most of all.
You didn't even mention me.
And the poster!
Where's my name?
Stop pulling my chain, Baroness.
No room!
Jacqueline Bouchard de la Marinire.
How do you fit that in?
And stop sounding off
about everything!
You do the finances
and l handle the artistic side:
the ideas, the brain.
By the way,
remember to call your show biz pals
about the finals.
A Malibu Banana, please.
A Malibu Banana for Elvis.
lt's on the house.
lt's so nice to see Didier Travolta
at the Gin Fizz again.
Not bad, eh?
Glad you signed up.
But you'll have to work hard.
Since you called it quits,
the crows have flocked in.
New blood.
Angelo "The Wop" Materazo.
37 contests, 36 wins.
He does a trio. Simultaneous
choreography, magic square,
double side shuffle.
He does what you did best...
Only better.
l'm re-forming the Bee Kings.
Winner.
Who is it?
Coco?
Open up. l know you're there.
l want to speak to Noneye.
Go away, Didier.
He's not home.
He works, at least!
- How old's your redhead?
- 7 or so.
lt's over with Brigitte?
Now l can say it...
Christ! She was a real dog.
The mother of my son wasn't a dog.
Just English.
And l've laid of the ros since.
Excuse me, sir, l heard
about an express washer.
The Thomson there.
Polypropylene drum,
pre-set program, anti-foam control,
anti-wrinkling cycle.
We have a sale on now.
l'm told the honeycomb drum
is sturdier.
Try a Honeywell.
- Thank you.
- At your service.
So, you in?
Can't do it.
Coco wants a new life,
a house, upward mobility.
So l'm taking the in-house exam
to be promoted floor manager.
This is just for a month.
lt's not long.
And there's a problem.
To be frank, she thinks...
had l not known you,
l'd be another man.
l wanted you to know.
l don't mean l agreed.
The Screech Owl has her views.
ln that case, tough.
Good luck on your exam
and your spin-dryers.
Happy trails!
l'll find a way.
She's on night shift at the hospital.
But remember,
if Coco hears l'm dancing
with you again, l'm a dead man.
Alissa, a German.
Pretty! She's a looker.
Go on and whistle.
But l don't feel like laughing.
Management won't give in.
Nor will we.
You know why...
No bananas, no work.
And no work, no broads.
Walter's right.
Meeting tonight,
by the containers,
south harbor.
They won't fuck us over.
No broads. That's bad news.
l'll put the crane to bed.
But Noneye said yes.
He always did the stupidest
things for you.
- l need you, Walter.
- l'm busy. l have responsibilities.
l'm spokesman for a union that's
calling a crucial dockers' strike.
So lay off me with your crap!
l can't go down again.
You never did come down.
Open your eyes. We're 40 years old.
Saturday night fever is over.
Especially for some kangaroos.
The kangaroos are for my son.
You have a son?
Excuse me.
Excuse me, young people.
Can l see a dance teacher, please?
France Navarre. Upstairs.
Thanks. lt's most kind of you.
France Navarre?
Could you not roll your caddy
on the dance floor, please?
So sorry.
How can l help you?
l want to sign up
for a dance class since...
l'm taking part in something...
And time's short.
Then we have just the course:
"Quick Express Dancing."
lt limbers you up for ceremonies:
weddings, communions, bar mitzvahs.
lt's with Mr. Carlos next door.
That's not it. Let me explain.
l used to be a good disco dancer.
l just need a refresher course.
l'll spare you the details,
but l'm in the Gin Fizz Academy.
The club run by
Jean-Franois Jackson,
the ex-drummer of Martin Circus.
France!
We're due at the Yacht Club.
Be right out, Guillaume.
Your boyfriend?
My brother.
He a jockey?
No, he sells horses.
Why am l telling you
my life story? Look...
l don't teach disco.
My mom. For the bread.
A pity.
l had a flash.
l want you to be my catapult.
To help me win.
l teach ballet. l don't think
l'm the person you need.
Message received.
Goodbye, Mister...?
Travolta.
Didier Travolta.
- And so?
- l said l'd do it.
He looked so lost with his caddy.
Didier Travolta? l love it.
lt's too much.
Tacky, you mean.
The perfect model of the bumpkin.
Okay, but not bad-looking.
With a lost little bird look.
Beware of birds like that.
l wonder if he has bird flu.
Cut it out, Guillaume.
She has to move on. Since N.Y.
she hasn't been serious.
Then be nice.
Sorry, Cherry, but l want her
to get a new start.
She can't live with me forever.
You know my friend Albert?
Albert Montcabourg.
Great career, real sense of humor,
good tennis player.
l anted them to meet.
She never even came to dinner.
Look at her.
Throwing flowers in once a week
won't bring him back to the surface.
First...
Tendue...
And flex and point...
And rond de jambe...
Close. Let's start again.
Limber up, Mr. Travolta.
Head up. lt's important.
On the diagonal.
With Mr. Travolta in the middle.
One. Two. Sissonne.
Go on, Mr. Travolta. Just you.
Let me see a gazelle, Mr. Travolta.
You can come in. l don't mind.
l'm pleased with you.
Not bad for a first class.
You're pugnacious and l like that.
Pugnacious...
l'm just supposed to win
a disco contest.
You have to learn the basics.
And a little grace never hurt.
Then you can dance as you like
to your music.
You've got disco all wrong.
Disco enters through your hair
and comes out through your feet.
20 inches above the ground,
buttocks tight...
and then boom, boom!
Disco is the music of the heart.
132 beats per minute.
Listen good, Miss Navarre.
Disco...
is a religion.
You practice it or you don't.
Take this, for example:
The tight pants...
that's disco.
And the tighter they are,
the more it's...
Tight?
Disco.
l'll do my best to try to be...
disco.
l still say we'll open better
with Boney M.
than with Eartha Kitt.
What about Patrick Hernandez?
lsn't he more summer dance?
Forget about him. Done to death.
We can't look ridiculous.
That's why you need to learn
the basics. Grace...
That counts.
With France coaching,
we're gonna shine.
You took a shine to her,
more like it.
l know, l know...
l haven't felt like this
since that DIY checkout girl.
ln Dieppe.
Cynthia Goubert...
whatever happened to her.
He hasn't been like this in ages.
He's looking for work.
He has early appointments,
always coming and going.
Well, he's coming.
Sweet Jesus.
lt can't be. The Bee Kings?
- Hello, Mrs. Sochard.
- Hello, Mrs. Barleycorn.
Hello, ladies.
Why this comeback?
We're competing again.
l'll explain later.
Noneye.
lf this jacket could talk.
The number of babes
l brushed with in this.
More like the brush-offs you had.
Yeah, right.
But l need a great stash.
lf the Owl sees the costume...
Didn't you set her straight?
Sure did.
l told her where to get off.
She understood that you can't change
a tiger into a bedside rug.
You owe me an explanation
right now.
l thought you were looking for work
and l see the Bee Kings?
Stop it, Mom.
l entered the Gin Fizz contest
because first prize is a trip for two.
Jackson put me up to it.
Jackson! That's all we needed.
lt's Woodstock.
That won't get Brian a vacation.
Think, Mom.
lf l find a job,
l can't take any vacation.
No one thought of that.
And l'm fed up
with gossip about me.
Barleycorn-this
and Barleycorn-that.
lt's high time to shut a few traps!
l'm just about had it
with High Seas St.
And if you don't win?
Because you might not.
We're gonna win, Mom.
We're gonna win.
The tighter they are,
the more it's disco.
You should've seen him...
Like he was putting toothpaste
back into the tube.
Never saw a nut like that.
Can we have some quiet?
l defy anyone to play like this.
We weren't talking. Relax.
You've been discussing the bumpkin.
lf you miss him that much,
go to Gardenland, dwarf section,
and leave me in peace.
What's the score?
40/0. Match point.
Match point, on top of it.
Thanks a lot.
Let me have it!
When you bother people, people lose.
Hey, Albert...
Meet Cherry, my fiance.
And France, my sister.
This is Albert Montcabourg,
one of the most charming people
on this planet.
Shell Festival
Playoffs 3:15 P.M.
You can't win them all.
Thank you, Kevin...
alias, "The Fly."
Again as part of Gin Fizz Academy,
let's welcome the Poles
of the Varsovia,
stuck in port for the past week
on account of the strike.
You guys sure we can't back out?
But let me tell you something:
Whether we win or lose, thanks.
From the bottom of my heart,
thanks for Brian.
You see, Baroness?
Daddy's idea is nicely catching on.
Give me a kiss.
How are we coming along
with that star sponsor?
l'm announcing it,
but if there's nobody there...
ln theory, it's on.
l'm just waiting for a confirmation.
That's more like it.
Thank you,
you Poles of the Varsovia.
lt's nice here at Ouistreham.
Our next contestants...
They come from Le Havre.
They were part of the Golden Age
of the Gin Fizz...
Bring the house down!
The Bee Kings!
Hello, sweetie.
Wow! Look at him work.
Daddy's so plucky.
Time for your bath.
We were at the Shell Festival
at Ouistreham.
Really?
Oh, sure, that's right.
Know who l saw there?
Didier and Walter.
ln a disco contest.
Can you imagine? At the age of 40.
You should get some air.
Too much work is bad for you.
That's just like you: all this
or all that.
Either bald or with three wigs.
Dear friends, congrats to those
who qualify for the next round.
Next stop at Pont l'Evque,
for the quarter finals
of the Gin Fizz Academy.
Awesome!
We qualify.
- As a twosome, too.
- Awesome.
Leave us alone. You've heard this.
Without my help,
you'd be out the door.
And your third man taking off...
Was that part of the show?
And between us, your thing...
your windmill of love... Drop it.
They invented electricity since.
lf you don't change some of it...
Not some of it, all of it!
Kiss those kangaroos goodbye.
l listen to a lot of the comments:
lt's over the top...
lt's tricky...
But the word that kept
coming back was: "Has-been."
Message received.
We were eliminated, coach.
l'm so sorry for you.
And l was just getting boom-boom.
l'm kidding.
We made it.
Fellas!
Meet the Bee Kings.
ln two words with two e's.
Like the Bee Gees.
Walter... Noneye.
ln the 80s, we entered
all the contests.
We decided to pick it up again.
- lsn't that beautiful?
- Very.
l knew you'd like it.
We won tons of contests.
Didn't we, guys?
Say something. He never talks.
We didn't beat around the bush.
Our thing was...
the windmill of love.
The windmill...?
Come with us for a spin...
in the stars.
But we have to do a makeover
on our number.
A pal is filming a self-critique
tape on us tonight at the Gin Fizz.
Jackson.
lt'd be great if you came.
Not tonight, l have to...
We need you, coach, or else
we're out of the running.
We have to be more with it,
be more...
Modern, l suppose.
That, too.
Good evening, chickadees.
Welcome to the world
of the 80s.
And now,
Disco...
lnferno!
l fear the worst.
l'm warning you: just 5 minutes.
Don't start, Guillaume.
Or else forget it.
Come on.
These Polacks from the Varsovia
worry me.
They're hot on the half-turns.
Without your strike, they wouldn't
be stuck here and we'd be cool.
Let's get started.
You filming us?
Yeah. Hold on.
Start their music.
lt's rolling.
This is great. Thanks.
lt's the dream team.
l'll be at the bar.
l don't know what your friends
do in real life,
but l have to work tomorrow.
So l'm bowing out
of this three-ring circus.
There's bus service back.
Stop it! They're super.
They're totally wild.
l don't want to see my sister
become a cornball!
l have every reason to have qualms
about this place.
You promised to make an effort.
But this isn't an effort,
it's a sacrifice.
Totem time.
That's us.
The Bee Kings.
Noneye...
We call him that
because he cries with one eye.
Drives the biggest crane in Europe.
l say the biggest,
but it's not really.
To be exact, for purists,
the biggest is in Hamburg.
Walter's weird.
He's no talker.
lt's a mask.
He got dumped by a girl, Vronique.
He never got over it.
l won my first dance contest
in these socks.
"The Yellow Dwarf" in Fcamp.
My good luck socks.
Jackson kept them.
A funny guy.
The Eddie Barclay of Le Havre.
lncurable playboy.
He stole Aznavour's wife.
Among others.
So, young lovers,
went up for a jiggle
in Daddy's dungeon?
You're Jackson, l suppose?
ln person.
My ballet teacher.
Other her a whiskey & Coke.
lt's on me.
May Tina Turner preserve you!
You sure? No kebab, no quiche?
l know a place...
No, thanks.
My brother's waiting.
But thanks for this evening.
So long, Kings.
You're great.
Thank you.
Hey, guys...
lt's love.
A call for you.
Who is it?
Mr. Courbet from Radio RTL.
"lt's Our Business Too,"
your program on RTL.
We have Mr. Barleycorn on the line.
Mr. Barleycorn, we're trying
to contact Luxembourg
and get Mr. Fournier on the line.
l remind you: he is the head
of Gondolo lnc.
l think we have him on the line.
- Bastard!
- Julien Courbet here.
"lt's Our Business Too" on RTL.
Mr. Fournier,
you promised Mr. Barleycorn,
who's on line with us,
to deliver 20 waterbeds to him
and his neighbors.
My question is simple:
What do you intend to do?
We figured as much.
At least things are clear.
We are indeed dealing
with a swindler.
Don't worry, Mr. Barleycorn,
you know our show.
RTL will take care of you.
Have a nice day.
We'll come through.
With that sock on your head?
lt's for my disco hairdo.
Otherwise it frizzes.
l'll give you a suppository.
That should kill
your Saturday night fever.
That's what l want.
lt sucks.
Here's your mom.
Go on, girls.
They were terrific.
See you next week.
For you.
l wanted to thank you
for all your help.
And l wanted to show you
the real Didier.
INVITATION (PERSONAL)
MOONLIGHT, A RESTAURANT,
TWO NICE GLASSES, AND US.
l'll wear a nice dress.
So you know one or don't you?
l repeat:
Do you know one or don't you?
Everyone knows a star.
So what do l say
to the poster printer?
That Jacqueline Bouchard
de la Marinire knows show biz stars?
You just get ruder
and ruder with me.
lf you're in such a hurry
call your disco pals yourself.
Your Cerrones, your Juvets.
But you know l owe them money.
Get your head examined.
There may be surprises.
You realize what you're doing:
You're killing my baby.
Watch it, Jackson.
Don't forget
l downgraded my title for you.
You're not a baroness?
More than that, buster.
Think a little.
And enough of your
"my baby," "my creation," "my baby!"
That's all l hear!
Me, myself and l.
Screw you.
So there!
Well, l'm leaving.
l'm leaving the great artist.
The Van Gogh of the Gin Fizz.
Come on in, Didier.
l let you dazzle me.
See my lawyers about your shares.
Right, l'll see your lawyers.
l'll make mincemeat
out of them.
So long, Grandma!
Fuck your mother!
Better and better.
Unbelievable.
Come on in, kid.
- ls this a bad time?
- No, come on in.
- Want me to come back later?
- Come on in.
Fuck your mother.
Here, fella.
lt's for you.
Blow your coach away.
l don't know what to say. Thanks.
Don't thank me.
Sit down.
You're not here for nothing.
Remember Club 77?
ln Rouen?
Sure, we lost the finals
and we broke up. Exit the Bee Kings.
l fucked you over.
l did it so the Andalusian
could win.
My third wife.
2 months later, she left me
for a sports journalist.
When the mirror ball stops turning,
the Saturday night jester
doesn't shine so bright.
The king of Le Havre nights.
Jackson...
lt's not even my real name.
lt's Jean-Franois Civet.
All that just for show.
Can you imagine.
Still, what would l do
without women?
Every time, l get hooked again.
lf experience served any purpose,
we'd stop catching colds
at some point, wouldn't we?
Where you taking her?
The usual place.
l hope she's a meat eater.
Buffalo Grill...
Hold the line.
So we're set on the surprises?
We're set. We'll make your evening
a happy one, Mr. Travolta.
What's so funny?
For the coffee.
May l ask you a question?
What do you do in life?
l'm a victim of the Palm.
l had a job at Quo Vadis...
the diary makers.
"Life goes by in pages
that turn as in a novel."
On the top left: the saints.
18 Feb. - St. Bernadette,
23 April - St. George.
31 December - St. Sylvester.
l won't give you the sales pitch.
l did that for five years.
At the office, we'd say:
"On St. Valentine's Day,
if she gets her way,
"by St. Jacques,
she'll get your..."
lt's charming,
but it's not my birthday.
But it's our first dinner.
And a candle on a salmon
carpaccio is...
unusual.
lt's funny because...
your name is France and l was
conceived on the SS France.
Funny, isn't it?
Very. Very funny.
lt's a spiral.
l'm so glad to be with you.
lt's like a holiday.
No boyfriends?
Yes...
but asleep at the bottom of the sea.
lt's been three years.
He's dead.
l understand.
Unless you're a fish...
That's not what l wanted to say.
lt's nothing.
l met him in New York
at the American Ballet.
We were engaged.
But he was a sailor.
He did solo crossings.
lt cost him his life.
So l came back here
to be close to my family.
Since then, l've devoted myself
to my little dance school.
Sorry, l didn't mean to spoil
our dinner.
You know, France,
my mom often says:
"lf we always lived in bliss,
how could we be happy?"
l think the dessert's coming.
Thank you for an unusual evening.
"l know your eyes
in the morning sun
"l feel you touch me
in the pouring rain
"The moment you wander
far from me
"l wanna feel you in my arms again."
lsn't that beautiful?
Very.
Who's it by?
The Bee Gees.
"How Deep is Your Love."
What world do you live in?
My own.
See you tomorrow?
What is it?
lt's your owl-like eyes.
They make me laugh.
Thank you.
l haven't had a compliment
in a while.
You forgot your umbrella.
Who is it?
l'm a friends of France's.
l'd like to speak to you.
Come in, young man.
l really love
the swashbuckler style.
And the garden!
Great for hiding Easter eggs.
Let's get to the point.
What brings you here?
l'm Didier Barleycorn,
resident of Le Havre.
High Seas Quarter,
behind the velodrome.
l took the liberty of coming
to express my feelings
for your daughter.
l really have feelings for her.
l love France.
lt's nice of you to inform us
but if France had a boyfriend
we would know.
Wouldn't we, Henri?
lt's recent.
Then there was that drowning.
But...
- Where did you meet?
- At her dance school.
l signed up
for a disco contest.
The Gin Fizz Academy
run by Jean-Franois Jackson.
l needed a coach to get
"back in the saddle."
By chance l meet France.
And then...
Life, you know.
So, to recap...
Just in case we missed something.
You're in love with our daughter,
France. ls that it?
Let's call France.
What do you think?
l don't think anything anymore.
Don't do that.
This is between us.
Something like
our secret.
And l wanted...
You wanted what exactly,
Mr. Barleycorn?
To celebrate the event with you.
Have any glasses?
Have you seen
how the bosses look at you?
l hope your contest is over soon.
They're not taking us seriously.
And you're late.
l had to stick the sequins
back on my costume.
lt's shedding.
Watch the crocodile leather boots.
Watch out for the seagulls.
Seagulls shit.
And if negotiations resume tonight?
l left instructions with Nico.
lf not, call me on my cell
at "The Pirate."
Good evening and welcome
to "The Pirate" in Pont l'Evque
for the quarter finals
of the Gin Fizz Academy.
Contestant No. 1 ...
The Bee Kings!
11:40 P.M. Quarter Finals.
"The Pirate." Pont l'Evque.
BEWARE OF DOG
What are you doing here?
We were up late. We had a bash.
We won. And hands down.
Hard work pays off.
Care for a coffee?
No, thanks. This won't take long.
You're sulking. There a problem?
And a big one.
What did you go tell my parents?
By what right?
So that's it.
l wanted to express my feelings.
Your feelings?
What were you thinking?
And l'm the woman of your life,
and something happened.
Not to mention Easter eggs
in the garden.
This is nonsense.
My father's still in shock
in the living room.
But we had a smooch.
Smooch?
l haven't heard that word
since l was a teenager.
l kissed you like a child, a friend,
because l'm fond of you. That's all.
lt's simple,
Mr. Didier Barleycorn,
alias Travolta.
There are two solutions:
either we stop now, or we go on.
But if we go on,
and l want this to be clear...
We have no other relations
other than work,
work, and more work.
What are you talking about?
Have you flipped out?
We made it because of her.
l've been thinking.
We don't need her. Fuck it!
l have two France Navarres
in each leg.
No, in your head.
What're you trying to pull?
This why you called us?
First she a genius,
then she's a jerk.
What is this?
And what were you doing
at her parents'?
Ever see a rich girl
go with a bus driver?
Hold on...
No. 1 : l'm no bus driver.
No. 2: l didn't know
they'd repeat it.
No. 3: This is between Navarre
and me. lt's nobody's business.
Not our business?
Let me tell you something.
lf we came back
it was to get you out of the shit.
lt was for your kid.
The sacrifices we made for you...
Right?
lt's true.
Without the dance classes,
we won't make the finals.
lf it's to be the disco bozos,
count me out.
Personally, l quit!
No sweat. Quit.
With pleasure,
and even relief!
lt's bad enough that the union
takes me for the Village People.
Enough is enough!
Stop chewing each other out.
Mind your wife, Billy Elliot.
That's not nice.
Hurray for vacations!
Check traffic conditions!
You know what?
Don't worry about us bozos!
l'll fight it out with Noneye,
my true pal!
We're gonna win!
Wanna know something?
You've restored my fighting spirit.
The two of us will win, without you.
A book of stamps, please.
A book of stamps!
8:50 P.M. Semifinals
Macumba Club of Elbeuf
We'll make it, son.
A problem, guys. l don't know
if the jury took pity on you,
or if you wowed them
with your Swan Lake,
but this is a real first.
The jury vote ended in a tie.
We'll do this the old way:
The place for the finals
will be decided by drawing straws.
Heads or tails.
Heads.
- lt's dumb. l was thinking tails.
- Why didn't you call it?
This won't boost your spirits
but we have nothing to blush about.
lf Maradona came back
for the World Cup,
l bet he'd finish third.
Anyway, l'm having a rough time.
And Sephora's out of Kouros.
Did you try Marionnaud?
l won't be seeing my kid so soon.
Poor little fella.
A kebab?
lt's latched.
So?
Darty open late?
Good night and goodbye.
Noneye the Bee King.
Get a move on.
This has gone on long enough.
You too, Noneye.
Charming.
Did the radio call back?
Brian wrote you.
CANT WATE FOR VACATION
Do you have a rsum,
Mr. Barleycorn?
A rsum... of what?
Of what you've done.
Oh, yes, a rsum of what l've done.
November is Mom's birth date...
Do you have any degrees?
Like everybody else.
Not everyone has a degree.
Do you have one or not?
lsn't that your friend?
What are you doing here?
Nothing. Watching the boats.
You've never come
to watch the boats.
And l wanted to tell you:
the Bee Kings were eliminated.
By a coin flip.
Against the Polacks.
A coin flip?
First l thought tails,
but l called heads.
lt came up tails.
The story of my life.
But really, l wanted to apologize.
l wasn't equal to your friendship.
l wasn't brilliant either.
l feel sorry for your kid.
l can't even call him.
Some father!
Nothing ever goes right.
Friendship, the lottery,
romance.
By the way, Noneye got the boot.
He's at my place.
Didier Barleycorn...
How are you doing? The strike?
We're holding.
lf l can help...
What will you do now?
Look for work?
What's in there?
My rsum.
Look.
lt's so empty it floats.
l'm leaving Le Havre.
Like any port,
try to keep afloat and you go under.
l won't keep you. So long, Walter.
Wait.
Your son...
He'll see his kangaroos.
We're suspending the strike!
The Varsovia will clear out.
The Polacks in Poland.
The Bee Kings
in the finals.
l don't get it.
They in the finals or not?
ln the finals.
The boat sailed.
The strike's over?
lt started again after they sailed.
Did your new tenant patch things up
with his wife?
That's another story.
He's taking an in-house exam
at Darty.
He'd better pass.
Otherwise, he's not likely
to win his Coco back again.
What a lot of competing.
What are you doing Sunday?
Happy birthday, France.
My dear Guillaume,
what a warm welcome.
You're a swell guy.
l wish l had a brother like you.
l love your sister.
l adore the Navarres
and Cherry.
l love everybody.
You're terrific!
l don't know if you know,
but l made the finals.
We'd have to be deaf and blind
not to know.
l forget my present. ln my jacket.
Go get it.
He's a real bronco.
l'm moving on to vodka,
our finalist friends
is far from gone.
Thanks for the gift.
Didier Travolta...
l'm not making it up.
lsn't that cotton candy
haircut of his tacky?
Disco dancing at 40!
lt takes the l.Q. of a beetle.
Luckily, l know France.
She'll enjoy her trained seal.
When she's fed up,
she'll throw him back in.
Thank you, everyone.
And thank you, Guillaume.
Thank you, sister.
"To you...
"For the way you have
of being lovely,
"for the way you have
of being mine,
"For your words
so tender and artificial..."
For me, the party's over.
What's the matter?
Nothing. l just have a beetle's l.Q.
and l'm a cornball.
l heard it all, Guillaume.
You really took me for a ride.
The seal's going back
to the ice floe.
Stop being ridiculous.
Don't talk to me anymore.
l prefer my world.
And if the hick
is disco dancing at 40,
it's to take his son on vacation.
Here, France.
My present.
A good-luck charm.
You'll need it more than l will.
Thanks, Guillaume.
Great birthday party.
Especially the finale.
l think l did something stupid.
Question four.
Starting with
the lntel Core 2 Duo computer,
describe the accessories
available with this model,
such as the Belkin lDE,
and the Belkin RJ45C adaptor.
Careful...
lt's a trick question.
Didier! Please!
Listen to your mother.
l've done enough listening.
l give up.
So l won't play the finals.
lt'll serve me right.
You're right.
No use in fighting.
Fighters want to win.
As for losers, you know the score.
Get off my back!
l'm tired of being Didier Barleycorn!
Don't you want to see the kangaroos
in your son's eyes?
Give your redhead some memories.
Give him some memories because...
One day he'll to be older
and won't want to think
his dad was a loser.
Hear that?
Give the little redhead
some memories.
And you might meet Kylie Minogue
in Australia.
l'll bounce back.
There are other ways in life.
lt's a big world.
A lot bigger than people think.
He'll bounce back.
l'm sorry about that business
with my brother. lt was rotten.
No, it's my fault.
l'm sorry for thinking
you could have loved a loser like me.
l don't love you. l adore you.
So what if we come
from two different worlds.
Who's a loser? Who isn't?
The Buffalo Grill
may seem cheesy...
but the fries are great.
What's your boy's name?
Brian.
l didn't choose it.
Well, he can be proud of his father.
l'm going back to the US
but first l want to win the finals.
We going to do it?
Higher... Higher... Over the L.
The Baroness?
Did you miss me?
l missed you. Very much.
Good. Glad to hear it.
l have a gift for you.
A sponsor for your finals.
A star, as you say.
lt's Francis Lalanne?
Yep. Francis Lalanne!
He'll do it.
Come on over here...
Doesn't he look disco?
Disco-nected, you mean.
He's not at all disco.
l thought it over.
l don't need a star.
You're my star.
You'll sponsor the evening.
He's right!
l can't hear you but l read lips.
l'm not disco.
Do l exist at all?
l wanted to tell you
it's not a problem for me.
Stick together.
You're wonderful people.
l won't ruin such harmony.
But Francis...
No Francis!
l'll just slip away as l came.
Go in peace!
And preserve
those little gremlins inside you.
And thanks for entering my life.
"Think of me,
"How much l love you
"And you will deliver me
"You'll break the curse
"That keeps me far from your arms"
lt's Gondolo!
lt's Gondolo!
9:50 P.M. Gin Fizz Finale, Le Havre
Good evening
and welcome to the Gin Fizz
for the grand finale
you've been waiting for.
On my right,
the fans of Angelo.
And on my left,
the fans of the Bee Kings.
The jury
will be chaired by our godmother,
the superb,
the beautiful,
the sublime, the diva,
Jacqueline Bouchard de la Marinire.
Contestant No. 1 ...
He comes from ltaly.
Angelo!
We relax.
We unwind.
As of this moment,
your adversary is you.
Don't be afraid of yourselves.
Three bodies,
one heart.
Sweetie?
Great work, sweetie.
You got the job.
My sweetie-pie!
Let's go, chickadees!
Go on, love!
Bring the house down!
They come from Le Havre.
The High Seas quarter.
Let's have
a big hand for...
The Bee Kings!
lt's the big day.
l want to thank you. Without you,
l wouldn't see Brian this year.
Listen...
You okay?
Everything's just fine.
l'll study English again,
get up early, buy a new briefcase.
Good. New York isn't that far
after all.
True. lt's not.
And maybe the next contest
is for a trip to N.Y.?
True, maybe.
Anyway, it's great.
You'll feel more fulfilled there.
Can l say something?
l was thinking...
You settle your waterbed problem?
They all had holes.
We sent them back to Gondolo.
l never saw beds keep people
from sleeping like that.
You wanted to tell me something.
No... Yes...
l mean...
l wanted to tell you that...
Goodbye, Didier.
See you soon.
That English woman.
No more banana boats for Le Havre!
They're re-routing through Antwerp!
Down with relocation!
The harbor's on strike!
GENERAL STRIKE
HIGH SEAS STREE This is serious, Didier.
Slippers, please.
Respect the floor
and the person who polishes it.
Okay. l know.
You know nothing at all.
Your son's mother writes
that Brian will not come.
l translate...
"Brian will not spend
his vacation in Le Havre
"if it's to let him
roam the streets
"and betting offices."
That's what it says...
Maybe it's time to learn English.
lt's the least you can do
when your son is British.
Don't you think?
lt makes me sick.
lf we hadn't reimbursed
the neighbors!
Damn waterbeds!
- You sleep well in a normal bed.
- l meant well.
The bargain of a lifetime.
l wanted to share it.
C'mon, stop it.
We'll come through.
l'm onto something big.
Humongous.
l've sicced the consumer radio
station on them.
Believe me,
they'll be quaking at Gondolo's.
They won't soon forget...
"Didier the Brute."
Well, to see his son again
he'll need a job...
The Brute.
Another zero!
To find a job nowadays,
you gotta know three languages.
You need a trucker's permit,
a permit for the permit.
Even dishwashers need
a water permit.
lt's all bullshit.
Zero again!
My mom...for the bread.
Gotta do something.
Brigitte won't send the kid
if l don't give him a real vacation.
Another zero!
Give me a Vegas scratch card.
Look at me, Rodolphe.
One day l won't even have a coin
to scratch with.
l once knew a different Didier.
A Didier who stood proud.
A toreador in ankle boots
who defied the laws of gravity.
He caressed all space
while tickling the stars.
That Didier we called
Didier Travolta.
That was the real Didier.
- Jackson! What brings you here?
- Look at yourself.
Just look.
l saw you with your
shopping caddy today.
l felt sick to my stomach.
Where's the go-getter
of High Seas Street?
Where is he...
the leader of the Bee Kings?
The musketeers of disco?
l think they lost their d'Artagnan.
l took over the Gin Fizz
but it's not to make it Roseland.
Daddy's reviving
the disco dance competition.
Everyone thought me dead!
Daddy's still here!
Disco's back, guys.
You ready, Didio?
You know disco died for me
after the Boney M. drummer died.
Have it your way.
By the way,
fist prize is a trip to Australia.
Kangaroo land.
For two.
Greetings, everybody.
Welcome to the Gin Fizz!
Without further ado,
let's lift the veil
on the Big Plan for the Gin Fizz.
Daddy's concept:
The Gin Fizz Academy.
The veil!
l've simply replaced
singer contestants
with dancer candidates.
Enrollment is almost closed.
l'll ask our contestants to join me
on the podium.
16 contestants, only one...
17 contestants, only one winner!
That's it, friends.
Have a good evening.
And now, make way for disco.
So? Was l good?
Dishonest, most of all.
You didn't even mention me.
And the poster!
Where's my name?
Stop pulling my chain, Baroness.
No room!
Jacqueline Bouchard de la Marinire.
How do you fit that in?
And stop sounding off
about everything!
You do the finances
and l handle the artistic side:
the ideas, the brain.
By the way,
remember to call your show biz pals
about the finals.
A Malibu Banana, please.
A Malibu Banana for Elvis.
lt's on the house.
lt's so nice to see Didier Travolta
at the Gin Fizz again.
Not bad, eh?
Glad you signed up.
But you'll have to work hard.
Since you called it quits,
the crows have flocked in.
New blood.
Angelo "The Wop" Materazo.
37 contests, 36 wins.
He does a trio. Simultaneous
choreography, magic square,
double side shuffle.
He does what you did best...
Only better.
l'm re-forming the Bee Kings.
Winner.
Who is it?
Coco?
Open up. l know you're there.
l want to speak to Noneye.
Go away, Didier.
He's not home.
He works, at least!
- How old's your redhead?
- 7 or so.
lt's over with Brigitte?
Now l can say it...
Christ! She was a real dog.
The mother of my son wasn't a dog.
Just English.
And l've laid of the ros since.
Excuse me, sir, l heard
about an express washer.
The Thomson there.
Polypropylene drum,
pre-set program, anti-foam control,
anti-wrinkling cycle.
We have a sale on now.
l'm told the honeycomb drum
is sturdier.
Try a Honeywell.
- Thank you.
- At your service.
So, you in?
Can't do it.
Coco wants a new life,
a house, upward mobility.
So l'm taking the in-house exam
to be promoted floor manager.
This is just for a month.
lt's not long.
And there's a problem.
To be frank, she thinks...
had l not known you,
l'd be another man.
l wanted you to know.
l don't mean l agreed.
The Screech Owl has her views.
ln that case, tough.
Good luck on your exam
and your spin-dryers.
Happy trails!
l'll find a way.
She's on night shift at the hospital.
But remember,
if Coco hears l'm dancing
with you again, l'm a dead man.
Alissa, a German.
Pretty! She's a looker.
Go on and whistle.
But l don't feel like laughing.
Management won't give in.
Nor will we.
You know why...
No bananas, no work.
And no work, no broads.
Walter's right.
Meeting tonight,
by the containers,
south harbor.
They won't fuck us over.
No broads. That's bad news.
l'll put the crane to bed.
But Noneye said yes.
He always did the stupidest
things for you.
- l need you, Walter.
- l'm busy. l have responsibilities.
l'm spokesman for a union that's
calling a crucial dockers' strike.
So lay off me with your crap!
l can't go down again.
You never did come down.
Open your eyes. We're 40 years old.
Saturday night fever is over.
Especially for some kangaroos.
The kangaroos are for my son.
You have a son?
Excuse me.
Excuse me, young people.
Can l see a dance teacher, please?
France Navarre. Upstairs.
Thanks. lt's most kind of you.
France Navarre?
Could you not roll your caddy
on the dance floor, please?
So sorry.
How can l help you?
l want to sign up
for a dance class since...
l'm taking part in something...
And time's short.
Then we have just the course:
"Quick Express Dancing."
lt limbers you up for ceremonies:
weddings, communions, bar mitzvahs.
lt's with Mr. Carlos next door.
That's not it. Let me explain.
l used to be a good disco dancer.
l just need a refresher course.
l'll spare you the details,
but l'm in the Gin Fizz Academy.
The club run by
Jean-Franois Jackson,
the ex-drummer of Martin Circus.
France!
We're due at the Yacht Club.
Be right out, Guillaume.
Your boyfriend?
My brother.
He a jockey?
No, he sells horses.
Why am l telling you
my life story? Look...
l don't teach disco.
My mom. For the bread.
A pity.
l had a flash.
l want you to be my catapult.
To help me win.
l teach ballet. l don't think
l'm the person you need.
Message received.
Goodbye, Mister...?
Travolta.
Didier Travolta.
- And so?
- l said l'd do it.
He looked so lost with his caddy.
Didier Travolta? l love it.
lt's too much.
Tacky, you mean.
The perfect model of the bumpkin.
Okay, but not bad-looking.
With a lost little bird look.
Beware of birds like that.
l wonder if he has bird flu.
Cut it out, Guillaume.
She has to move on. Since N.Y.
she hasn't been serious.
Then be nice.
Sorry, Cherry, but l want her
to get a new start.
She can't live with me forever.
You know my friend Albert?
Albert Montcabourg.
Great career, real sense of humor,
good tennis player.
l anted them to meet.
She never even came to dinner.
Look at her.
Throwing flowers in once a week
won't bring him back to the surface.
First...
Tendue...
And flex and point...
And rond de jambe...
Close. Let's start again.
Limber up, Mr. Travolta.
Head up. lt's important.
On the diagonal.
With Mr. Travolta in the middle.
One. Two. Sissonne.
Go on, Mr. Travolta. Just you.
Let me see a gazelle, Mr. Travolta.
You can come in. l don't mind.
l'm pleased with you.
Not bad for a first class.
You're pugnacious and l like that.
Pugnacious...
l'm just supposed to win
a disco contest.
You have to learn the basics.
And a little grace never hurt.
Then you can dance as you like
to your music.
You've got disco all wrong.
Disco enters through your hair
and comes out through your feet.
20 inches above the ground,
buttocks tight...
and then boom, boom!
Disco is the music of the heart.
132 beats per minute.
Listen good, Miss Navarre.
Disco...
is a religion.
You practice it or you don't.
Take this, for example:
The tight pants...
that's disco.
And the tighter they are,
the more it's...
Tight?
Disco.
l'll do my best to try to be...
disco.
l still say we'll open better
with Boney M.
than with Eartha Kitt.
What about Patrick Hernandez?
lsn't he more summer dance?
Forget about him. Done to death.
We can't look ridiculous.
That's why you need to learn
the basics. Grace...
That counts.
With France coaching,
we're gonna shine.
You took a shine to her,
more like it.
l know, l know...
l haven't felt like this
since that DIY checkout girl.
ln Dieppe.
Cynthia Goubert...
whatever happened to her.
He hasn't been like this in ages.
He's looking for work.
He has early appointments,
always coming and going.
Well, he's coming.
Sweet Jesus.
lt can't be. The Bee Kings?
- Hello, Mrs. Sochard.
- Hello, Mrs. Barleycorn.
Hello, ladies.
Why this comeback?
We're competing again.
l'll explain later.
Noneye.
lf this jacket could talk.
The number of babes
l brushed with in this.
More like the brush-offs you had.
Yeah, right.
But l need a great stash.
lf the Owl sees the costume...
Didn't you set her straight?
Sure did.
l told her where to get off.
She understood that you can't change
a tiger into a bedside rug.
You owe me an explanation
right now.
l thought you were looking for work
and l see the Bee Kings?
Stop it, Mom.
l entered the Gin Fizz contest
because first prize is a trip for two.
Jackson put me up to it.
Jackson! That's all we needed.
lt's Woodstock.
That won't get Brian a vacation.
Think, Mom.
lf l find a job,
l can't take any vacation.
No one thought of that.
And l'm fed up
with gossip about me.
Barleycorn-this
and Barleycorn-that.
lt's high time to shut a few traps!
l'm just about had it
with High Seas St.
And if you don't win?
Because you might not.
We're gonna win, Mom.
We're gonna win.
The tighter they are,
the more it's disco.
You should've seen him...
Like he was putting toothpaste
back into the tube.
Never saw a nut like that.
Can we have some quiet?
l defy anyone to play like this.
We weren't talking. Relax.
You've been discussing the bumpkin.
lf you miss him that much,
go to Gardenland, dwarf section,
and leave me in peace.
What's the score?
40/0. Match point.
Match point, on top of it.
Thanks a lot.
Let me have it!
When you bother people, people lose.
Hey, Albert...
Meet Cherry, my fiance.
And France, my sister.
This is Albert Montcabourg,
one of the most charming people
on this planet.
Shell Festival
Playoffs 3:15 P.M.
You can't win them all.
Thank you, Kevin...
alias, "The Fly."
Again as part of Gin Fizz Academy,
let's welcome the Poles
of the Varsovia,
stuck in port for the past week
on account of the strike.
You guys sure we can't back out?
But let me tell you something:
Whether we win or lose, thanks.
From the bottom of my heart,
thanks for Brian.
You see, Baroness?
Daddy's idea is nicely catching on.
Give me a kiss.
How are we coming along
with that star sponsor?
l'm announcing it,
but if there's nobody there...
ln theory, it's on.
l'm just waiting for a confirmation.
That's more like it.
Thank you,
you Poles of the Varsovia.
lt's nice here at Ouistreham.
Our next contestants...
They come from Le Havre.
They were part of the Golden Age
of the Gin Fizz...
Bring the house down!
The Bee Kings!
Hello, sweetie.
Wow! Look at him work.
Daddy's so plucky.
Time for your bath.
We were at the Shell Festival
at Ouistreham.
Really?
Oh, sure, that's right.
Know who l saw there?
Didier and Walter.
ln a disco contest.
Can you imagine? At the age of 40.
You should get some air.
Too much work is bad for you.
That's just like you: all this
or all that.
Either bald or with three wigs.
Dear friends, congrats to those
who qualify for the next round.
Next stop at Pont l'Evque,
for the quarter finals
of the Gin Fizz Academy.
Awesome!
We qualify.
- As a twosome, too.
- Awesome.
Leave us alone. You've heard this.
Without my help,
you'd be out the door.
And your third man taking off...
Was that part of the show?
And between us, your thing...
your windmill of love... Drop it.
They invented electricity since.
lf you don't change some of it...
Not some of it, all of it!
Kiss those kangaroos goodbye.
l listen to a lot of the comments:
lt's over the top...
lt's tricky...
But the word that kept
coming back was: "Has-been."
Message received.
We were eliminated, coach.
l'm so sorry for you.
And l was just getting boom-boom.
l'm kidding.
We made it.
Fellas!
Meet the Bee Kings.
ln two words with two e's.
Like the Bee Gees.
Walter... Noneye.
ln the 80s, we entered
all the contests.
We decided to pick it up again.
- lsn't that beautiful?
- Very.
l knew you'd like it.
We won tons of contests.
Didn't we, guys?
Say something. He never talks.
We didn't beat around the bush.
Our thing was...
the windmill of love.
The windmill...?
Come with us for a spin...
in the stars.
But we have to do a makeover
on our number.
A pal is filming a self-critique
tape on us tonight at the Gin Fizz.
Jackson.
lt'd be great if you came.
Not tonight, l have to...
We need you, coach, or else
we're out of the running.
We have to be more with it,
be more...
Modern, l suppose.
That, too.
Good evening, chickadees.
Welcome to the world
of the 80s.
And now,
Disco...
lnferno!
l fear the worst.
l'm warning you: just 5 minutes.
Don't start, Guillaume.
Or else forget it.
Come on.
These Polacks from the Varsovia
worry me.
They're hot on the half-turns.
Without your strike, they wouldn't
be stuck here and we'd be cool.
Let's get started.
You filming us?
Yeah. Hold on.
Start their music.
lt's rolling.
This is great. Thanks.
lt's the dream team.
l'll be at the bar.
l don't know what your friends
do in real life,
but l have to work tomorrow.
So l'm bowing out
of this three-ring circus.
There's bus service back.
Stop it! They're super.
They're totally wild.
l don't want to see my sister
become a cornball!
l have every reason to have qualms
about this place.
You promised to make an effort.
But this isn't an effort,
it's a sacrifice.
Totem time.
That's us.
The Bee Kings.
Noneye...
We call him that
because he cries with one eye.
Drives the biggest crane in Europe.
l say the biggest,
but it's not really.
To be exact, for purists,
the biggest is in Hamburg.
Walter's weird.
He's no talker.
lt's a mask.
He got dumped by a girl, Vronique.
He never got over it.
l won my first dance contest
in these socks.
"The Yellow Dwarf" in Fcamp.
My good luck socks.
Jackson kept them.
A funny guy.
The Eddie Barclay of Le Havre.
lncurable playboy.
He stole Aznavour's wife.
Among others.
So, young lovers,
went up for a jiggle
in Daddy's dungeon?
You're Jackson, l suppose?
ln person.
My ballet teacher.
Other her a whiskey & Coke.
lt's on me.
May Tina Turner preserve you!
You sure? No kebab, no quiche?
l know a place...
No, thanks.
My brother's waiting.
But thanks for this evening.
So long, Kings.
You're great.
Thank you.
Hey, guys...
lt's love.
A call for you.
Who is it?
Mr. Courbet from Radio RTL.
"lt's Our Business Too,"
your program on RTL.
We have Mr. Barleycorn on the line.
Mr. Barleycorn, we're trying
to contact Luxembourg
and get Mr. Fournier on the line.
l remind you: he is the head
of Gondolo lnc.
l think we have him on the line.
- Bastard!
- Julien Courbet here.
"lt's Our Business Too" on RTL.
Mr. Fournier,
you promised Mr. Barleycorn,
who's on line with us,
to deliver 20 waterbeds to him
and his neighbors.
My question is simple:
What do you intend to do?
We figured as much.
At least things are clear.
We are indeed dealing
with a swindler.
Don't worry, Mr. Barleycorn,
you know our show.
RTL will take care of you.
Have a nice day.
We'll come through.
With that sock on your head?
lt's for my disco hairdo.
Otherwise it frizzes.
l'll give you a suppository.
That should kill
your Saturday night fever.
That's what l want.
lt sucks.
Here's your mom.
Go on, girls.
They were terrific.
See you next week.
For you.
l wanted to thank you
for all your help.
And l wanted to show you
the real Didier.
INVITATION (PERSONAL)
MOONLIGHT, A RESTAURANT,
TWO NICE GLASSES, AND US.
l'll wear a nice dress.
So you know one or don't you?
l repeat:
Do you know one or don't you?
Everyone knows a star.
So what do l say
to the poster printer?
That Jacqueline Bouchard
de la Marinire knows show biz stars?
You just get ruder
and ruder with me.
lf you're in such a hurry
call your disco pals yourself.
Your Cerrones, your Juvets.
But you know l owe them money.
Get your head examined.
There may be surprises.
You realize what you're doing:
You're killing my baby.
Watch it, Jackson.
Don't forget
l downgraded my title for you.
You're not a baroness?
More than that, buster.
Think a little.
And enough of your
"my baby," "my creation," "my baby!"
That's all l hear!
Me, myself and l.
Screw you.
So there!
Well, l'm leaving.
l'm leaving the great artist.
The Van Gogh of the Gin Fizz.
Come on in, Didier.
l let you dazzle me.
See my lawyers about your shares.
Right, l'll see your lawyers.
l'll make mincemeat
out of them.
So long, Grandma!
Fuck your mother!
Better and better.
Unbelievable.
Come on in, kid.
- ls this a bad time?
- No, come on in.
- Want me to come back later?
- Come on in.
Fuck your mother.
Here, fella.
lt's for you.
Blow your coach away.
l don't know what to say. Thanks.
Don't thank me.
Sit down.
You're not here for nothing.
Remember Club 77?
ln Rouen?
Sure, we lost the finals
and we broke up. Exit the Bee Kings.
l fucked you over.
l did it so the Andalusian
could win.
My third wife.
2 months later, she left me
for a sports journalist.
When the mirror ball stops turning,
the Saturday night jester
doesn't shine so bright.
The king of Le Havre nights.
Jackson...
lt's not even my real name.
lt's Jean-Franois Civet.
All that just for show.
Can you imagine.
Still, what would l do
without women?
Every time, l get hooked again.
lf experience served any purpose,
we'd stop catching colds
at some point, wouldn't we?
Where you taking her?
The usual place.
l hope she's a meat eater.
Buffalo Grill...
Hold the line.
So we're set on the surprises?
We're set. We'll make your evening
a happy one, Mr. Travolta.
What's so funny?
For the coffee.
May l ask you a question?
What do you do in life?
l'm a victim of the Palm.
l had a job at Quo Vadis...
the diary makers.
"Life goes by in pages
that turn as in a novel."
On the top left: the saints.
18 Feb. - St. Bernadette,
23 April - St. George.
31 December - St. Sylvester.
l won't give you the sales pitch.
l did that for five years.
At the office, we'd say:
"On St. Valentine's Day,
if she gets her way,
"by St. Jacques,
she'll get your..."
lt's charming,
but it's not my birthday.
But it's our first dinner.
And a candle on a salmon
carpaccio is...
unusual.
lt's funny because...
your name is France and l was
conceived on the SS France.
Funny, isn't it?
Very. Very funny.
lt's a spiral.
l'm so glad to be with you.
lt's like a holiday.
No boyfriends?
Yes...
but asleep at the bottom of the sea.
lt's been three years.
He's dead.
l understand.
Unless you're a fish...
That's not what l wanted to say.
lt's nothing.
l met him in New York
at the American Ballet.
We were engaged.
But he was a sailor.
He did solo crossings.
lt cost him his life.
So l came back here
to be close to my family.
Since then, l've devoted myself
to my little dance school.
Sorry, l didn't mean to spoil
our dinner.
You know, France,
my mom often says:
"lf we always lived in bliss,
how could we be happy?"
l think the dessert's coming.
Thank you for an unusual evening.
"l know your eyes
in the morning sun
"l feel you touch me
in the pouring rain
"The moment you wander
far from me
"l wanna feel you in my arms again."
lsn't that beautiful?
Very.
Who's it by?
The Bee Gees.
"How Deep is Your Love."
What world do you live in?
My own.
See you tomorrow?
What is it?
lt's your owl-like eyes.
They make me laugh.
Thank you.
l haven't had a compliment
in a while.
You forgot your umbrella.
Who is it?
l'm a friends of France's.
l'd like to speak to you.
Come in, young man.
l really love
the swashbuckler style.
And the garden!
Great for hiding Easter eggs.
Let's get to the point.
What brings you here?
l'm Didier Barleycorn,
resident of Le Havre.
High Seas Quarter,
behind the velodrome.
l took the liberty of coming
to express my feelings
for your daughter.
l really have feelings for her.
l love France.
lt's nice of you to inform us
but if France had a boyfriend
we would know.
Wouldn't we, Henri?
lt's recent.
Then there was that drowning.
But...
- Where did you meet?
- At her dance school.
l signed up
for a disco contest.
The Gin Fizz Academy
run by Jean-Franois Jackson.
l needed a coach to get
"back in the saddle."
By chance l meet France.
And then...
Life, you know.
So, to recap...
Just in case we missed something.
You're in love with our daughter,
France. ls that it?
Let's call France.
What do you think?
l don't think anything anymore.
Don't do that.
This is between us.
Something like
our secret.
And l wanted...
You wanted what exactly,
Mr. Barleycorn?
To celebrate the event with you.
Have any glasses?
Have you seen
how the bosses look at you?
l hope your contest is over soon.
They're not taking us seriously.
And you're late.
l had to stick the sequins
back on my costume.
lt's shedding.
Watch the crocodile leather boots.
Watch out for the seagulls.
Seagulls shit.
And if negotiations resume tonight?
l left instructions with Nico.
lf not, call me on my cell
at "The Pirate."
Good evening and welcome
to "The Pirate" in Pont l'Evque
for the quarter finals
of the Gin Fizz Academy.
Contestant No. 1 ...
The Bee Kings!
11:40 P.M. Quarter Finals.
"The Pirate." Pont l'Evque.
BEWARE OF DOG
What are you doing here?
We were up late. We had a bash.
We won. And hands down.
Hard work pays off.
Care for a coffee?
No, thanks. This won't take long.
You're sulking. There a problem?
And a big one.
What did you go tell my parents?
By what right?
So that's it.
l wanted to express my feelings.
Your feelings?
What were you thinking?
And l'm the woman of your life,
and something happened.
Not to mention Easter eggs
in the garden.
This is nonsense.
My father's still in shock
in the living room.
But we had a smooch.
Smooch?
l haven't heard that word
since l was a teenager.
l kissed you like a child, a friend,
because l'm fond of you. That's all.
lt's simple,
Mr. Didier Barleycorn,
alias Travolta.
There are two solutions:
either we stop now, or we go on.
But if we go on,
and l want this to be clear...
We have no other relations
other than work,
work, and more work.
What are you talking about?
Have you flipped out?
We made it because of her.
l've been thinking.
We don't need her. Fuck it!
l have two France Navarres
in each leg.
No, in your head.
What're you trying to pull?
This why you called us?
First she a genius,
then she's a jerk.
What is this?
And what were you doing
at her parents'?
Ever see a rich girl
go with a bus driver?
Hold on...
No. 1 : l'm no bus driver.
No. 2: l didn't know
they'd repeat it.
No. 3: This is between Navarre
and me. lt's nobody's business.
Not our business?
Let me tell you something.
lf we came back
it was to get you out of the shit.
lt was for your kid.
The sacrifices we made for you...
Right?
lt's true.
Without the dance classes,
we won't make the finals.
lf it's to be the disco bozos,
count me out.
Personally, l quit!
No sweat. Quit.
With pleasure,
and even relief!
lt's bad enough that the union
takes me for the Village People.
Enough is enough!
Stop chewing each other out.
Mind your wife, Billy Elliot.
That's not nice.
Hurray for vacations!
Check traffic conditions!
You know what?
Don't worry about us bozos!
l'll fight it out with Noneye,
my true pal!
We're gonna win!
Wanna know something?
You've restored my fighting spirit.
The two of us will win, without you.
A book of stamps, please.
A book of stamps!
8:50 P.M. Semifinals
Macumba Club of Elbeuf
We'll make it, son.
A problem, guys. l don't know
if the jury took pity on you,
or if you wowed them
with your Swan Lake,
but this is a real first.
The jury vote ended in a tie.
We'll do this the old way:
The place for the finals
will be decided by drawing straws.
Heads or tails.
Heads.
- lt's dumb. l was thinking tails.
- Why didn't you call it?
This won't boost your spirits
but we have nothing to blush about.
lf Maradona came back
for the World Cup,
l bet he'd finish third.
Anyway, l'm having a rough time.
And Sephora's out of Kouros.
Did you try Marionnaud?
l won't be seeing my kid so soon.
Poor little fella.
A kebab?
lt's latched.
So?
Darty open late?
Good night and goodbye.
Noneye the Bee King.
Get a move on.
This has gone on long enough.
You too, Noneye.
Charming.
Did the radio call back?
Brian wrote you.
CANT WATE FOR VACATION
Do you have a rsum,
Mr. Barleycorn?
A rsum... of what?
Of what you've done.
Oh, yes, a rsum of what l've done.
November is Mom's birth date...
Do you have any degrees?
Like everybody else.
Not everyone has a degree.
Do you have one or not?
lsn't that your friend?
What are you doing here?
Nothing. Watching the boats.
You've never come
to watch the boats.
And l wanted to tell you:
the Bee Kings were eliminated.
By a coin flip.
Against the Polacks.
A coin flip?
First l thought tails,
but l called heads.
lt came up tails.
The story of my life.
But really, l wanted to apologize.
l wasn't equal to your friendship.
l wasn't brilliant either.
l feel sorry for your kid.
l can't even call him.
Some father!
Nothing ever goes right.
Friendship, the lottery,
romance.
By the way, Noneye got the boot.
He's at my place.
Didier Barleycorn...
How are you doing? The strike?
We're holding.
lf l can help...
What will you do now?
Look for work?
What's in there?
My rsum.
Look.
lt's so empty it floats.
l'm leaving Le Havre.
Like any port,
try to keep afloat and you go under.
l won't keep you. So long, Walter.
Wait.
Your son...
He'll see his kangaroos.
We're suspending the strike!
The Varsovia will clear out.
The Polacks in Poland.
The Bee Kings
in the finals.
l don't get it.
They in the finals or not?
ln the finals.
The boat sailed.
The strike's over?
lt started again after they sailed.
Did your new tenant patch things up
with his wife?
That's another story.
He's taking an in-house exam
at Darty.
He'd better pass.
Otherwise, he's not likely
to win his Coco back again.
What a lot of competing.
What are you doing Sunday?
Happy birthday, France.
My dear Guillaume,
what a warm welcome.
You're a swell guy.
l wish l had a brother like you.
l love your sister.
l adore the Navarres
and Cherry.
l love everybody.
You're terrific!
l don't know if you know,
but l made the finals.
We'd have to be deaf and blind
not to know.
l forget my present. ln my jacket.
Go get it.
He's a real bronco.
l'm moving on to vodka,
our finalist friends
is far from gone.
Thanks for the gift.
Didier Travolta...
l'm not making it up.
lsn't that cotton candy
haircut of his tacky?
Disco dancing at 40!
lt takes the l.Q. of a beetle.
Luckily, l know France.
She'll enjoy her trained seal.
When she's fed up,
she'll throw him back in.
Thank you, everyone.
And thank you, Guillaume.
Thank you, sister.
"To you...
"For the way you have
of being lovely,
"for the way you have
of being mine,
"For your words
so tender and artificial..."
For me, the party's over.
What's the matter?
Nothing. l just have a beetle's l.Q.
and l'm a cornball.
l heard it all, Guillaume.
You really took me for a ride.
The seal's going back
to the ice floe.
Stop being ridiculous.
Don't talk to me anymore.
l prefer my world.
And if the hick
is disco dancing at 40,
it's to take his son on vacation.
Here, France.
My present.
A good-luck charm.
You'll need it more than l will.
Thanks, Guillaume.
Great birthday party.
Especially the finale.
l think l did something stupid.
Question four.
Starting with
the lntel Core 2 Duo computer,
describe the accessories
available with this model,
such as the Belkin lDE,
and the Belkin RJ45C adaptor.
Careful...
lt's a trick question.
Didier! Please!
Listen to your mother.
l've done enough listening.
l give up.
So l won't play the finals.
lt'll serve me right.
You're right.
No use in fighting.
Fighters want to win.
As for losers, you know the score.
Get off my back!
l'm tired of being Didier Barleycorn!
Don't you want to see the kangaroos
in your son's eyes?
Give your redhead some memories.
Give him some memories because...
One day he'll to be older
and won't want to think
his dad was a loser.
Hear that?
Give the little redhead
some memories.
And you might meet Kylie Minogue
in Australia.
l'll bounce back.
There are other ways in life.
lt's a big world.
A lot bigger than people think.
He'll bounce back.
l'm sorry about that business
with my brother. lt was rotten.
No, it's my fault.
l'm sorry for thinking
you could have loved a loser like me.
l don't love you. l adore you.
So what if we come
from two different worlds.
Who's a loser? Who isn't?
The Buffalo Grill
may seem cheesy...
but the fries are great.
What's your boy's name?
Brian.
l didn't choose it.
Well, he can be proud of his father.
l'm going back to the US
but first l want to win the finals.
We going to do it?
Higher... Higher... Over the L.
The Baroness?
Did you miss me?
l missed you. Very much.
Good. Glad to hear it.
l have a gift for you.
A sponsor for your finals.
A star, as you say.
lt's Francis Lalanne?
Yep. Francis Lalanne!
He'll do it.
Come on over here...
Doesn't he look disco?
Disco-nected, you mean.
He's not at all disco.
l thought it over.
l don't need a star.
You're my star.
You'll sponsor the evening.
He's right!
l can't hear you but l read lips.
l'm not disco.
Do l exist at all?
l wanted to tell you
it's not a problem for me.
Stick together.
You're wonderful people.
l won't ruin such harmony.
But Francis...
No Francis!
l'll just slip away as l came.
Go in peace!
And preserve
those little gremlins inside you.
And thanks for entering my life.
"Think of me,
"How much l love you
"And you will deliver me
"You'll break the curse
"That keeps me far from your arms"
lt's Gondolo!
lt's Gondolo!
9:50 P.M. Gin Fizz Finale, Le Havre
Good evening
and welcome to the Gin Fizz
for the grand finale
you've been waiting for.
On my right,
the fans of Angelo.
And on my left,
the fans of the Bee Kings.
The jury
will be chaired by our godmother,
the superb,
the beautiful,
the sublime, the diva,
Jacqueline Bouchard de la Marinire.
Contestant No. 1 ...
He comes from ltaly.
Angelo!
We relax.
We unwind.
As of this moment,
your adversary is you.
Don't be afraid of yourselves.
Three bodies,
one heart.
Sweetie?
Great work, sweetie.
You got the job.
My sweetie-pie!
Let's go, chickadees!
Go on, love!
Bring the house down!
They come from Le Havre.
The High Seas quarter.
Let's have
a big hand for...
The Bee Kings!
lt's the big day.
l want to thank you. Without you,
l wouldn't see Brian this year.
Listen...
You okay?
Everything's just fine.
l'll study English again,
get up early, buy a new briefcase.
Good. New York isn't that far
after all.
True. lt's not.
And maybe the next contest
is for a trip to N.Y.?
True, maybe.
Anyway, it's great.
You'll feel more fulfilled there.
Can l say something?
l was thinking...
You settle your waterbed problem?
They all had holes.
We sent them back to Gondolo.
l never saw beds keep people
from sleeping like that.
You wanted to tell me something.
No... Yes...
l mean...
l wanted to tell you that...
Goodbye, Didier.
See you soon.