Disconnect (2018) Movie Script
1
Celine?
Celine?
Surely Celine.
- Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!
- Wake up
You've been avoiding me. Why?
I can take a couple of days off,
okay. I'm grown.
It's nearly been a week Celine.
Ugh!
Now you know I have to kill you right?
Like there's no other way around it.
Yeah you can do that
once you get up.
Why do you hate me?
I'm about to risk getting an infection
by entering
that kitchen to make you some tea.
I don't want some tea
Chamomile with honey?
Okay...
There's no chamomile or honey or
any form of sustenance.
I need some orange juice.
There's some orange juice.
That should do you good.
Mmhmm
Ugh!
No orange juice for you.
Okay, talk to me...
You can tell me.
So I couldn't sleep that night
I was thinking about him.
I don't know, maybe I was tired
of this open relationship.
Ugh! Ugh! Ugh!
That'sdisgusting.
So you know that handbag
is an abyss right?
And I think I lost a phone
in there five years ago
and I just found it.
Hopes and dreams go in there to die.
You worry about your own life please.
Is Tupac in there?
So early in the morning
I rocked up at his
He was there, watching rugby.
I was thinking of,
maybe taking things up a notch.
MmmhHindsight, I should have known.
Well, well, well!
- Hello! Hello! So, what did I miss?
- Thanks.
What? I needed backup.
Ehhh? Tell me...
What? I don't have to tell you guys
anything.
Come on, we're good. Right Josh?
Mmhmm
Who is going to tell me
what's going on?
Come o
"Why do I" Ugh! Fine.
Okay
How do your friend here
decided that rocking up
at Ken's house for a booty call
was a good idea.
So, she got over there
and was flaunting herself and all.
Waaa!
Okay so now I have both
questions and comments.
So you guys will tell me which
one to start with first.
Actually...
Let me start with comments.
Cause if Iit just feels like
a great place you know to
explore how much judgment
I've reserved for you.
Mmhmm
Tell me.
What were you doing at Ken's place?
As early as 6 a.m?
- That kinda sounds like a question.
- I know, I've changed my mind halfway.
I don't know, okay?
It was bad, and I need some time!
Celine no.
That is highly counterproductive to what
we're trying to achieve here.
It was bad, ehh?
I had this trench coat
over sexy lingerie.
I get over him and begin a sexy dance.
He looks shocked.
I thought the surprise worked.
I mean it's a free booty call
early in the morning.
I would be excited too.
- Ohh!
- Then she spoke.
- Damn!
- Yeah.
- Shit.
- Wow!
Exactly!
I'm just gonna take a quick pause on this,
it pre love moment
we are sharing right now.
But I have lots of questions!
Weren't you guys in an open relationship?
Nah, I never really understood that.
Ummh, actually the correct term is
non monogamy.
Ah, booboo you are not going to
"ummh actually" your way out of this.
You're the one who made a huge deal about;
being progressive, giving a man space,
not being contained by flawed expectations
of the human condition,
that go against our very nature.
That is quite a speech.
Yes! Quite the vagina monologue Josh.
Babe, what really happened?
Celine! Celine! Celine stop!
- You made that last part up?
- Yeah.
But I did listen to Lemonade
the entire way home
- Did you cry?
- I cried!
So now? It's over?
Wait,
I still have lots of questions!
I need a shower.
Absolutely, you smell like death flavour
of a very heavy flower...
- So heavy
- Well
I hate to interrupt this
little Sisterhood
of the travelling pants moment but
gotta go to work.
Goodbye.
Why are men so fragile?
- So fragile...
- And by the way.
Kenneth is an ass for losing you.
Oh my gosh, I feel so much better now.
Now that you've said that,
like I'm healed.-
I can't; men are trash...
you're awesome.
Thank you so much, Goodbye.
Okay.
Let's go, I pick an outfit for you.
Something decidedly lesbian
cause you, you need to be off men.
- For a while.
- Yeah.
- Yeah?
- Yes.
We scheme for them?
Aai, Hallelujah!
Hi.
Hey?
The hounds you sent dragged me out of bed.
I missed you too.
Hi. Thank you!
Hello.
The place hasn't burned down. That's good.
- Yeah, we're trying to...
- Hey.
There he is.
Well another week off. Huh!
So what was the problem this time?
On a scale of death on Grey's anatomy
and of course your ovaries raging war
on your uterus?
Does your wife kiss you with that mouth?
- All she gotta kiss is a whole
- Oh my!
I've regretted it as soon as I asked.
- Thank you
- Am I not allowed to tease the boss?
Your casual misogyny
is getting old Patrick.
Ohhh! Triggered.
Listen, I have some free time
if you wanna pop in and consult on
- perimenopause
- You're an orthodontist.
- I do know my way around...
- Please don't finish that sentence.
- Preeti.
- Patrick.
Why did we hire him?
He is good.
I am.
And then there is that.
Mmhhm.
Yeah, the patriachy
does pay my car insurance.
I'm painfully aware.
Here you go.
What?
New patients on paper
I thought you guys were trying
to get me to go digital?
It's the proposal. In hard copy
- cause you're terrible with emails.
- I am not!
Really?
I will have a look at it I promise.
I've heard that before Celine
- and this time you really need to
- Hi Mrs Njuguna,
how is it that you always get younger
every time I see you?
I hope you're a better dentist
than you are a liar.
- Well you keep coming back.
- Why not?
- It's nice to see you Mrs Njuguna.
- And you too.
Still wading in the murky waters
of solitude?
Ah! Um..I'm sorry?
Yes, yes. She's still single.
- Payback
- Three months later?
Ah, it hasn't been that long.
Has it?
Mrs Njuguna does have
a standing appointment with us.
A three-month standing appointment.
Is there really no one for her?
Ahhh, Um..I'm sorry?
What? I'm sure Preeti
is fine being single.
Right?
Poor girl.
- There's no one.
- Celiiiiine!
Come on. Let's get those gums checked.
I laugh at myself every time
When I find myself in trouble
Cause most of the time
I find myself alone
The ones I laugh with
Are nowhere
To be seen
Where are you
Where are you
Saying to the world
that you care about me
Yet you are a liar do they even know
Taking pictures hashtag
Im chilin with her
Right now Im crying
Looking back youre nowhere
to be seen!
Where are you
Where are you
I laugh at myself every time
When I get myself in trouble
Twice in one day,
that has got to be some kind of record.
My phoneit's been off the whole day.
So you haven't heard? Jesus!
Umm, there's been an accident.
It's Kenneth.
So she's deep frying butter in butter?
And that's not even the best part.
Guess what she'll garnish it with?
Butter?
Butter. That's correct.
Yes!
It's okay.
You know he tried to call me today?
- CC, there's no way you could have...
- I know.
Adam kissed Eve
And the world came to be
Romeo kissed Julliet
So kiss me now babe
Tomorrow I might be gone
Momma kissed Papa
And so I was born
Judas kissed Jesus
Betrayal was done
So kiss me now
Baby
Tomorrow I might be gone
I might be gone tomorrow
May not be like today
And even if I am here
I might not taste the same
Kiss me now baby
Tomorrow I might be gone
Delila kissed Samson
And cut off his hair
And Shiba kiss Solomon
And wisdom was shared
So kiss me now baby
Kiss me now kiss me now
- Tomorrow I might be gone
- I might be gone
Aaah
Sinful woman kissed the feet
Of Christ
And David kissed Jonathan
And friendship survived
Kiss me now baby
- Hi. Thank you.
- tomorrow I might be gone
Uwooh ouwooh yeah
I might be gone
Tomorrow
- May not be like today
- be like today
And even if Im here
I might not taste the same
- Kiss me now baby
- kiss me now baby
Tomorrow I might be gone
Come kiss me now baby
Tomorrow I might
Be gone
I may seem innocent like a cat
without her claws
You may think I am super sweet
but like a lion Im gonna roar
I will take you by surprise
like a stranger in the night
Ready or not here I come
Ready or not here I come
Boy you better run and hide
Here comes trouble
Here comes trouble
I say ohh, ohh, I feel your lust
I know you wanna be dangerous
Clearly it's worse than I thought.
My money!
Faster faster!
Thank you.
Eh! Eh! Eh! Thank you.
Great deal
Don't even explain.
Explaining makes it hard.
Clearly we all need to go out.
How are you?
Jesus!
Heal her, heal her.
Where we need to go, is church.
This Sunday.
It's happening, don't fight it.
Don't involve me
in your church business.
You just counted yourself
out of the kingdom of heaven.
- How about that?
- Mmhmm, I know.
Ladies, ladies. Play nice.
Celine.
Come!
Ugh! Preeti!
Shsshh.
- I'm fine, I promise.
- Don't fight it, let it happen.
Have your boobs gotten bigger?
They have? They have? Haven't they?
Come on, they have.
What exactly were you hoping
would happen?
I don't know.
I wanted to, surprise him.
- With some morning head?
- Yes TK, with morning head.
How is that such a bad thing?
Umm, fornication for one?
Go away!
Say, as much as I've come to appreciate
your 40-year-old virgin acts,
some of us need some good stroke
on a regular...
Oh my god!
You said it girl.
Stop it.
No no, seriously, why even did you have
a key to his house?
For emergencies.
Now I think even he forgot
he gave it to me.
You guys should have seen the look
on his face like
"I fucked up."
No, no, no. He fucked up.
Ayee, let's not speak ill of
the dead surely.
I shouldn't have gone there.
The ghosting was a hint.
- So, was she hot?
- TK??
Seriously Toni!
It's just a question.
Okay.
It's okay.
Is that?
Yeah.
Yooo, she is hoooot
Yeah.
I can't imagine what that must have
felt like.
I can stillfeel the heat from the tarmac.
Well Samantha is in grief...
Some volume, turn it up.
No guys.
No it's fine, it's okay.
I cradled him when
I cried for help.
That sling, it looks like an accessory.
Yeah and the heifer is working it.
It's okay, you're okay now.
I don't trust her.
Hey Toni, a man is dead.
And, she's in hospital?
Yeah! With her face full of make-up.
And yet his body is not even cold
and she's already giving an interview.
Guys?
She has make-up on.
And brows on fleek?
Okay.
She does look good though.
Fam, her boyfriend just died.
An entrepreneur always
searches for change.
Responds to it,
exploits it as an open window.
You genuinely scare me sometimes.
- What are we watching?
- Opportunity!
Anyway.
All right guys.
- Let's focus.
- We have a big
Holy shit! She's here.
You actually did it
Belinda Muli
I'm gonna get you really drunk
so you can tell me how
you managed to pull that off
Actually involves alcohol,
and her secretary
and my penis.
Alright, focus.
Miss Muli.
Miss Muli, it's a pleasure
to meet you in person.
Yes, I imagine it is.
Thank you so much for seeing us today
Miss Muli.
Call me Belinda.
We were surprised that you came
to our offices.
We would have been happier
to come to yours.
It wasn't necessary.
Well Miss Muli or rather Belinda
wanted to come and see
where her money is going.
- Isn't that right?
- Yes, intimately.
You're a sharp cookie.
I think you'll find that this particular
jar is full of them.
Miss Muli, would you like
something to drink?
No thank you.
Okay, um.
So, we sent you a proposal about us
the company, and we are the premium
bouquet
to...
What just happened?
- You could lend a hand.
- Where's the fun in that?
I'm a feminist.
No seriously Celine, it's a two-day trip.
Come on.
It's a wedding Josh.
How many weddings are they
planning to have?
- Look if you didn't want to do this
- Relax.
And I hate it when people tell me that.
I know.
Cause I'm so tipsy
And you're so in
My head and am trying
Jeez!
Not to lose my friend
Jumping off the friendzone baby
Alright, buckle up.
Out of the friend zone baby
And I got no parachute
Jumping off the friend zone baby
Out of the friend zone baby
E ya mado
Ahh.
Thanks boo.
You are my inspiration
in the music I compose
Mentally frustration
Are you okay?
I have hidden my feelings
Jumping off the friend zone
Baby
Out of the friend zone baby
And I got no parachute
Jumping off the friend zone
The creator was not wrong
I've always been jealous how you do that.
What?
You can just REM minutes after
the car starts moving
So, what were we dreaming of?
Ken.
This isn't disenfranchised grief.
I was going to marry that man.
You know, I don't recall
you guys being that
How was the funeral?
Uneventful.
CC you're taking this death a lot harder
than I thought you would.
I think it may have been my fault.
Partly.
You're doing that thing again.
That thing where you make something
that has absolutely nothing to do with you
about you.
Don't look at me like that,
you know it's true.
Remember when Prince died?
Oh my god that was devastating.
Yeah, and you cried the entire week
and then said that he was selfish.
He knew how much I needed that new album,
and then what does he do?
He goes and dies.
Disrespectful!
And then there was Whitney
Ok now that was just uncalled for.
I had tickets to see her live.
Selfish!
You don't mean that do you?
Of course not,
she's the voice of our generation.
Her and Beyonc.
All that, hidden nonsense you listen to.
I feel like you've been
practicing
- that Judy impression for a while.
- I have. You know she called me a
devil hugging demon because
I forgot the Lord's Prayer.
What? How does
she come up with these things?
I know right.
The car
- The red Peugeot.
- No.
- I thought you said no CC.
- It was just supposed to be a soft loan.
There's nothing soft about a down payment
on a sissy vehicle.
That coupe was beautiful.
Anybody who drives a coupe
is viscerally vain.
- Your dad drives a coupe.
- Well he's intrinsically one of those.
Bottom line CC,
it's not your fault
that he died in the accident.
He was a shitty driver.
You are in the clear.
Two doors when you can have four. Why?
Youre my light Im your shadow
Never never never gonna let you go
When Im troubled, baby yeah
My daughter. Always the last to arrive.
Fashionably.
We left late, it was my fault.
I know.
- Nobody's feeding you in the big city?
- Just been busy.
Too busy to eat?
To come see me? I just missed you.
- I've missed you too Mom.
- I've missed you too Mama C.
My son, getting more and more handsome
every time I see him.
- Yeah
- Don't you think so Celine?
- Wait for it.
- Why don't you marry this boy?
And there it is.
- No I'm ju... I'm just asking.
- I want to go and find Guka.
He's in there, pretending that he hasn't
been looking forward to this all week.
Thanks, I'll see you later.
- Alright.
- Wait, you're not staying?
- I made so much food.
- I need to go and see the folks.
- Tell your mum I have her sweet potatoes...
- Oh my gosh mom Let the boy go.
- Honestly, I think she's just scared.
- Oh my gosh mom stop.
Ok Mama C.
Take care.
I will never be a grandmother.
Oh hey boo!
- Hi! When did you get here?
- Like an hour ago.
- Mmm
- Oh by the way the ladies are here
they're super excited.
- And you?
- I ran away.
- And did you see the goats?
- All 99 of them?
Nicholas is not playing.
Why did you run?
I just needed to find somewhere quiet
to pray.
I should have just stayed at
my Dad's house here.
Yeah? Why didn't you?
I just don't like being alone.
And the house is too big.
I get the feeling it's
Haunted.
By who?
The ghost of the privileged past?
The Mau Mau.
Oh my god!
Toni collect your friend.
No no no, friend is a very strong word.
Please, no, no.
Get married.
You know I just might.
What? Are you serious?
Yeah.
I'd argue I'm more significantly more
than a bunch of goats, but yeah.
You? Slay queen.
Eh, Martha Karua has softened.
Our Ayn Rand.
What, I can't get married and fight
patriarchy too?
Does everything have to be about
the patriarchy though?
- Yeah.
- Preety much!
And besides I wouldn't expect someone
who's dedicated her entire life
to a fictional character and his father
in a story book.
Ah? Ouch!
You spit that out right now!
Hey, can the members
of the feminist brigade
- come help me in the kitchen?
- Sure.
Now this one, is tied to her
husband, I'm sure she won't let go.
Just see how he spoils her.
Such a comedy.
Let's go!
The meat is ready and the women
are at the gate!
And that venue is lit.
It's quite something Robin.
Thanks for running interference T.
Anything to get me out of whatever
you guys are wearing.
You know its like they get itchier
the more we wear them.
I think I'm gonna try to convince daddy
to skip this part of my wedding.
Look at this one,
thought your dad knows
you are already married to Jesus.
Amen to that.
Hi, hand them over.
What? We love Nicholas but he has
a gentle disposition.
You know they are gonna
tear him apart
if he gets nervous and
gets this wrong this time.
- I mean last time was hilarious, right?
- Yeah, right.
Why did he pick me? I am..
Don't even try to say it's
because you are light skinned please!
- I was going to go with tall.
- Sure.
That boy almost cried.
You know he'll still owes baba
like more goats
even after he had given
like a thousand cows
after that wedding fine
Are you girls ready?
You know, your husband is greedy.
I just thought I should
just tell you that.
- It's alright mama.
- I'm so proud of you.
Aki Mama Ciru you know
you'll make her cry.
The way we've spent hours on that face.
I love you
Let's go! Cover your faces.
We go finish with these traditions!
- Let's go.
- Sure?
Okay. Are we ready?
No.
- Robin?
- Yes, I don't know, maybe.
I don't know.
Okay which one is it?
It's okay.
Yes, okay.
- Yes.
- Yes?
Yes.
Yah, absolutely yes.
Yes!
Okay. Okay I'll take it.
Okay let's go.
Hey you.
- Hey, you guys done?
- Uh huh.
Cool. What are you wearing?
I'm on my way.
Oh! Look who's awake
Breakfast?
No thanks.
When did this girl start hating food?
Med school.
Where's everyone else?
They left already, you've been asleep
for a while.
Mmm.
Hi, Josh we go?
Alright.
See you.
Mama C, I'll miss you.
I'll miss you too.
Give me a second,
I'll get something for you.
Okay.
- I'll be in the car.
- Alright.
Did you love him,
the boy that died?
How did you?
We may not talk much but I'm your mother.
I know things.
You know you can call me right?
Yeah, I know. I know.
Bye Guka.
You are not living to abuse
Your grandpa doesn't talk much
Are you going to be okay?
He'll be fine, he's just old. It happens.
It happens.
Okay, what are you doing with my phone
and where is your own?
I don't know, I can't find it,
I'll just check my emails.
- You never check your email.
- I know, and I'm trying to be better.
I'm not gonna scroll through
your dick pics.
I don't have any dick picks.
You all just don't know
That is why you will not
You don't stop abusing
You all just don't know
What my mom taught me
That is why you will not
You don't stop abusing
Coochie, Coochie, Coochie
Where are you?
Oh Preeti?
I'm goin' find you
oh I'm goin' find you.
Come..come here.
Where are you?
Ah! I have found you!
Heeeeeey.
Ah, Jo..Josh!
Josh!
Celine!
So you didn't ask him that?
Of course not,
but I feel like I should have.
I should have, right?
Well what was that?
What was what?
What was that?
Wait.
Come on, what was that?
TK? TK? TK?
Or maybe, maybe just your timing
is a little off.
You and Preeti have been trying
to take me upwith anything that walks
Yes, except Josh!
And why the hell not.
You've been trying to pair us up forever.
Babe,
you should be playing the part of
a grieving wife right now.
Okay, and I vote we change the subject.
Feels like we just talk about men
when we hang out.
Hey, Preeti has been trying to get me
- into this expansion plan.
- Oh!
- You've read the proposal already?
- It's a solid one.
Look, I've worked my butt off
to get us where we are.
- I'm not gonna just gamble it all away.
- What's so special now?
I'm just not ready.
That's not it
I just
I need to have something that
I can't lose.
Okay?
That's a good one.
Who's gonna put it down.
Lay it on... set... Mmm.
Can you stop that.
You look stupid.
Come on man, she was banking on you.
- Heard?
- No.
Why don't you ask Khalid?
Yeah.
Khalidwell I would but
Khalid is
Well Khalid, I mean look at him.
He looks like he has two kids,
and an adopted dog.
I mean his balls look like
they have a mortgage.
He's a dad without
really being a dad.
Thank you.
Huh!
Nobody wants to fuck with a fore dad
Well I'll have you know
I do just fine.
Yeah if the girls
have dad issues
Sure.
But she has eyes only for you Joshy boy...
For you!
And I just want you to expand that.
I want you to do it for us...
For us.
No.
Sometimes you say
the most hurtful things
Nicky boy!
Quit steaming your balls,
we've got a bachelor party to kick off.
What's it with you and balls?
Cause I have a sturdy pair
and he is about to lose his.
But not before the city sucks them dry.
Graphic. Oh Graphic.
My guy, you guy.
Hmm.
Hey! Hey! Hey!
Come on. Shots anyone? Shots?
- It's Olivia Pope night.
- And it's only 8 p.m.
Come on, you said no
to the strippers,
no to the dildo straws,
no to the condom veil. Aiii!
What! There's no condom veil?
Yeah, and all we got left
is this big mansion,
with some scavenger hunt
looking for some quest
from some Benny Hinn
someone, about marriage
Oh! Come on.
That, that's not how scavenger hunts
works honey.
Okay, some woman coming to talk to Robin
about being a good wife?
Oh yes because
Every good wife,
must cook for the husband, every day
without exception.
Now give me the money
So rude.
Babe, I'm getting married this weekend,
again,
and this is the only chance for me
to make poor decisions,
and I don't wanna do it without you.
But, our bodies are temples.
They are made of tequila mostly.
Drink up.
Yes.
Drink up pastor!
Shots! Shots! Shots!
Yes!
Sweat sweat sweat
Wet wet wet
Sweat sweat sweat
You can see how I am bringing it down
you can see how I am bringing it up
And the way I am swinging it
Ooh
Sweat sweat sweat
Wet wet wet
Make your body wet wet wet
Wet wet wet wet
Wet
Ooh Wet
Ola!
Right now?
Get out of here.
Madam. You have a guest.
Thank you.
Baby boo say dare
Ladies I'll be right back, okay?
Oh say dare
And you say dare
Ooh say dare
Mmm.
Brother! Here?
Here.
Thanks bruh.
Relax, they're just mints
I think.
- I'm Joking.
- I swear this is not that kind of night.
I'm Joking, I'm just messing with you man.
All my drugs are color coordinated.
Nicky boy!
The stepbrother I never wanted
but I came to love.
How are you?
Want a mint?
- Noo.
- Ah, No! no! no!
We don't want ladies smelling
what you had for lunch now do you?
Bro, the only person
you are kissing tonight
Is the toilet seat bowl.
Let's go!
Argh.
Yes! Argh!
I haven't been out in ages man.
Somehow, I don't find that
hard to believe.
Thanks for organizing this Otis.
You really didn't need to throw me
a bachelor party.
Come on man, you're family, you're family,
you're family. We all are family.
- Ah?
- Mmm.
Okay, what's Khalid's last name?
Yeah, wha... what's my last name?
Kha..Khalid's last... last.
Your last name is let's get this
party started.
Go!
It's Mohammed, right?
Ali?
- No.
- Abdalla?
- You've worked with this guy for years.
- Give me something bro?
I step up in the club
Fine girls are confusing me
Every corner I look
I don't know what to do
I straight up go crazy
when a lady tries to hit on me
Are you okay boss?
If she insists I...
Nairobi ladies love to party
Even us guys weve come to party
Check how everybody
is having a good time
Good time yeah
Nairobi ladies love to party
Even us guys weve come to party
Check how everybody
is having a good time
NicholasNick. Please.
Everybody in the part say today
Its not yesterday not tomorrow
but today
Everybody in the part say today
Today
Its not yesterday not tomorrow
but today
I'm so sorry
Its where I want to be
Nairobi ladies love to party
Even us guys we've come to party
Check how everybody
is having a good time
Mmm.
Nairobi ladies love to party
Even us guys we've come to party
Check how everybody
is having a good time
Good time yeah
- Good evening?
- Everybody in the part say today
- Uh, can I kindly have your order?
- Leo
Yeah, all of this.
I'm on it.
She said on it.
Like on it.
- We on it. You on it. On it.
- Its not yesterday not tomorrow
Its not yesterday
not tomorrow but today
Everybody in the part say today
Na na na
Its not yesterday not tomorrow
but today
Today
So, listen up girls. Maanzesteme
- You.
- You.
I'm going to show you girls,
how to think of the penis.
Not, as a screwdriver. Ah! Ah!
But, like a microphone.
- Eh!
- Shhhhh!
System one, two...
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
One that you will be... speaking into.
What have I done?
Given me the best
bachelor party ever!
I am feeling so good,
I want to cry!
I'm done girls.
Jesus!
Oh!
Now, you need to learn how to,
communicate.
Talk to the penis.
Yes. Communicate.
First things first.
No play without... foreplay.
Yessss!
Foreplay is important!
Very much.
And then
- You must allow him, to go down there.
- Oh!
Oh!
Down... and stay down there.
Stay.
Yes.
20 minutes
minimum.
How about...
Really?
Okay.
Hello.
It's calling me.
You can touch.
Touch it!
I miss you.
I will sell your soul for the dick.
Oh.
For that.
Oh!
Give me this one.
Yes!
Let's speak into it.
Helloooo?
Ahhh!
Ah!
Argh! What time is it?
Midnight.
I took too many shots.
Argh!
- I think we went in too hard, too fast.
- I have the worst headache.
Where does he get
all that energy?
- And what happened to us?
- We're getting old.
It happens.
Did, did any of you see where
Otis put those mints?
Somewhere, on the sofa
Whoa!
Yoo! I'ma see you later at the bar.
Shots! Huh!
You guys having fun?
You guys having fun?
You guys having fun?
- You guys having fun?
- You know it looks like you just...
- Yo! I just feel like
- have one of those
passing out right here next to
big papa bear!
And this cushion smells like, shit.
Okay, I think this is that time
where I call an Uber.
- Who's coming?
- Oyaa!
Noo!
You heard me. I said no!
This is my last time to make
poor decisions
before I become Robin'sbitch!
Whoa there Kanye.
That's the first time I've heard you
curse my friend.
I don't do it often.
I never do anything.
Well you're getting married.
- She proposed.
- What?
- Yeah.
- Wow!
- I can actually see that.
- Fuck me!
She's planning everything,
from the wedding, the honeymoon,
the gender of our fourth child,
who we'll say is an accident,
but actually wasn't.
Yo, I think I think she's
- If you say crazy I'll...
- Hey hey hey.
Intense... I meant intense.
This is the only thing she let me have.
So right now, I just want to get
blackout drunk
and nestle some titties.
Okay.
Too much. Yeah?
Yeah. Yeah.
I heard it when I said it.
Let me get up.
It's alright.
Where are my titties?
What?
- Nick? Why?
- I trust you're having a good night?
- Yes we are.
- Can I get you gents anything else?
- Yes, yes!
- No!
The second half of this menu
- Bill.Menu.
- I got you
She's got, she's onouuu.
Yoo, did you guys pop?
Yooo I have stronger ones.
Some red ones over here.
Where...
- These aren't mints?
- Mmhm.
Where's Nicholas?
- Nick!
- music
Whatdid he?
Look, look!
Nicky! Nicky boy! Come here boy.
I just cant take it
No more no more no more
Ooh yeah hold me
Players circle hold me
The way she is killing me
You are loosing a member
East African girl forever
You are very beautiful
The way she is killing me
You are loosing a member
East African girl forever
You are very beautiful
The way she is killing me
You are loosing a member
Hey gorgeous.
Hey!
Are you having fun?
I'm having so much fun.
Honestly, more than I expected.
Here.
Aw thank you.
Ah, the boys are having fun huh?
Yeah, it's not like that,
they lost Nicholas
in the club or anything.
- Huh?
- Huh? What? What?
The one person, like forever.
I meanI can barely make up
my mind like about anything.
Like it took me an entire year
to pick out health insurance.
I can barely decide what
I want to have for dinner.
But II guess that's just why
we do what we do.
It's justLike you know but then
you don't know.
So you just cross your fingers
and hope you haven't fucked up too much.
Oh crap, Robin I'm so sorry.
Robin I'm so sorry.
It's okay.
It'sum..try..I'mI'm gonna go and get
Shit shit shit shit shit.
Don't mistreat him.
Heh!
- He's just drunk
- Hey!
Heh!
Hi.
Celine what the hell is going on?
Nothing, it's just err,
a lot of talking about dildos.
Why? Do you wanna join.
I mean with Robin?
Nothing, err II just spoke to her
a few minutes ago. Why?
You are not going to believe this
but apparently there is no wedding
so we need to sort this shit out.
Okay, err
They are saying there is no...
- wedding!
- I'm going to need you to repeat that
because I think
you just saidWhat!
- Robin, Robin, Robin hey!
- Celine hey! Hi!
I'm on the phone with Josh and the boys
Yeah. I hope they're enjoying themselves.
Heeey Josh!
- Huh! What?
- Did you just call off your wedding?
- What?
- Yeah!
Guys, what's happening?
She just called off her wedding.
- Ahayeah.
- What?
Huh?
Huh? Yeah!
Robin!
Is this because Nicholas took a shot
off a bartender's belly button?
- Belly button?
- Breasts okay?
He was taking shots of her breasts.
I'm sorry baby, I'm so sorry.
You know he never has fun.
Let him have fun.
Let him have some fun.
What is she saying?
I'm working on it Josh
calm thy tits
Alright the wedding is still on.
I thought about what you said,
and you know what?
- You were right!
- I don't know anything,
no one knows anything.
Nobody
What did you say?
I'm gonna have to call you back.
Celine wait. Please?
Hello? Hello?
Mmm.
Come, come!
No what have I done?
- Can you please sit down!
- Robin come. Come Robin
Oh my god!
Can you sit down here?
- Huh!
- You think we've been drinking porridge!
Hey cheers!
I don't even like that guy.
He's kind of soft.
You are not helping.
Is it a lie?
Are you seeing somebody else
Have you found somebody else
To love you like I love you
Even though we both agreed to
Do our thing
Aint no one above you
This my stop.
No no no.
My stop.
Bro, honestly what is wrong with you?
My stop.
What is wrong with you though?
I need to go to get out
No
It's my stop.
No.
Shhhh!
Honey? Babe? Robin!
Can wecan we at least talk about
this in the morning?
Yeah.
Sure thing!
- Yeah?
- Sure thing.
Okay good.
Jesus!
Oh my!
Okay let's just go.
Oh my god!
Mmm!
Huh!
Okay. Let's go.
Oh my gosh!
What is this, veggies and peanuts or what?
The way you look classy.
- Nonsense.
- Oh my god!
Real love
They say if you love something
let it go
For it come back anytime you know
That it is real love
No!
So how are you doing over there
It's my stop.
It's my stop!
- What is wrong with you?
- It's my stop!
Shhhhh!
You're so good to me.
It's hard not to be.
You're my sister.
You are my favorite sister.
I'm still awake bitches!
You're my favorite sister too.
Save it.
I love you.
You know who else you love?
Nicholas?
Nicholas.
But can we try and make it not sound
like a question?
Unless you're not sure.
I'm sure.
You know I justI just freaked out.
Yeah, and you have a fair amount
of tequila in you.
- And it all just ended up on your clothes.
- Yeah.
Hmmm.you know what?
I will marry Nicholas when you marry Josh.
Okay that's a very flimsy foundation
to predicate an entire future on.
But I know you mean well. So no.
You're going to marry this man
because you love him.
I do. Don't I?
Yes, so you're sticking
to the question format.
I think you're just scared.
Hmmm, we all are. I know I am.
Maybe TK was right.
- We all just want
- Celine! Shut up!
She's asleep. Argh!
That's my bottle!
Guys! I'm getting married again.
While I share in your joy,
I'm gonna need you to turn it down
a couple of decibels please.
Good on you buddy.
Are you not shattered?
Huh! It's called the wonders
of modern medicine.
Dude you were making out
with a bottle of Jager
I think her name was Anna,
if I remember correctly
and I do not.
Yoo! Why are you naked?
Yooo, yo! Okay one,
this is called underwear
and two the question here K dog
Don't call me that.
Is why are you so easily bothered
by my male form.
You see I'm comfortable in my sexuality.
Alright, that is my cue.
I'm gonna go take a shower.
Eggs?
Get out of my house.
Oh Disgusting
Fine. Your loss.
I make a bomb ass omelette.
So what happened yesterday peeps?
- Bottles were popping!
- Ah! Stop!
Oh!
It was sufficiently eventful.
Where did you even find Maanzeste?
Aii, don't even remind me, Jehovah!
Sometimes you
should let loose Pastor!
- Argh! I need to atone.
- What you need is pain relief. Here
What is this?
God's gift to women all over the world.
- Party girls all over the world.
- Yeah.
- It's mara moja.
- I don't think I should.
Fine fine fine, just stop that.
Give me that.
How are you even okay?
See the trick is, to never stop.
Okay...
Sip on mine.
Eh eh eh!
There will be no more puking
in this house. Judy!
Celine? Any news for us?
I am confused.
Why?
What? Oh my gosh you told them.
What's going on?
I'm thinking of maybe
Hunting for dick.
Jesus!
Yeah, yeah.
Only that you can't
get over Josh.
Ooooh!
That is done.
As much as that may be shade,
Lord knows that is not a lie.
You can't even defend yourself?
Oh Neema is gonna cut you.
Who's Neema?
Mmm?
Good question Ciru.
Who is she?
Neema is Josh's girlfriend.
No!
Only a girlfriend?
That girl looks like the fire emoji.
Bra?
Really?
She can only be described as
an unobtainable standard.
She's like, Wonder Woman,
if Wonder Woman wished she could.
I don't think so!
She's more beautiful,
more accomplished
and more self-aware than any queen
I've ever met.
- And, she's dating Josh.
- Noo.
Sucks to be you. Damn!
She's perfect.
They are perfect.
Shhhh!
So then, when you're done
making babies over there
come to my office.
- Hi John.
- It's Josh.
It's motherfucker. I don't care.
You maintain that you don't like her
like that right?
I don't.
Great! So what's the problem here then?
I just don't give out people's personal
details bro.
It's a number.
Fine, imagine me giving out your
number to a total stranger.
Is the stranger hot?
What are you two ladies arguing about?
He refuses to give me Celine's number.
- It's cool. I have it.
- No no no.
It's fine I'll talk to her okay?
Ah.
Patoranking world best yo watch this
Love confession
She's a heart breaker
She bend over back breaker
Steaming hot water vapor
I wanna date her
She's a heart breaker
She bend over back breaker
Steaming hot water vapor
I wanna date her
So tell me why you do me so?
So tell me why you do me so
Baby me nah go let you go
Girl me nah go let you go
So tell me why you do me so
Tell me why you do me so
Girl me nah go let you go
Bugu bugu Ha! Bug up
Phenomenal woman
- Thats true
- Mmm.
Jack Jack on the beat
Uhh say dare
- We got this bro.
- Baby boo say dare
We're the youngest firm ever nominated,
we run great campaigns
and we know what the market wants.
- Alright? Let's do this
- Alright.
Wooh!
You guys look so shocked tonight.
- How are you guys feeling?
- Aaah, nervous, a little.
Like winning!
- The energy
- That too, that too.
- You people are ready?
- Ready!
- Alright we'll see you guys inside.
- Alright.
They all look the fucking same.
Kamotho.
They gave it to Kamotho.
He still puts multi-ethnical families
on a billboard.
He doesn't deserve this.
Yeah, here it is. In my hands.
Congratulations.
Oh save it Josh.
Mmhm, bartender?
Please give me a glass of white wine
and give these two bitches
a bottle of tequila
and a lot of salt.
You know someone ought to
smack you across the face.
Come on, volunteer then.
I don't mind screwing
a little manicure
and dragging a little ass
across the floor.
After all, it's just a little micro penis.
Otis, let's walk please.
Walk please bro. No.
Joshua, my offer still stands
at the table.
Drop the dead weight.
Belinda.
- It's so nice to see you again.
- I imagine it is.
Uh, I'm sorry about the train
wreck of a meeting the other day.
- I thought it went well.
- And congratulations on your win.
They always give them to me every year.
It helps that I bankroll
the entire event.
Umm, your eccentric friend over there
has a point.
If you'll excuse me?
Hello.
- Hey.
- Hey!
You came.
Mmmmmm.
Hey, just in case.
Angel.
I know.
- Are you looking for someone?
- Mmm.
Hi Neema.
Don't play.
White wine with ice and yes the
bartender judged me.
The bartender can go fight her mother.
Shall we dance?
I didn't know you dance.
Yeah, I like to move swiftly.
Will you be okay?
- Yeah.
- Yeah?
- I'll be okay.
- Okay
Oh my god Josh, let me go, c'mon.
Fine.
So is that her?
Huh? Umm.
Baby!
You never mentioned you knew
Belinda Muli personally.
Miss Muli I'm such a great fan
of your work,
I basically grew up witnessing you.
That's so very kind of you dear
but who are you?
Uh, well. This is Neema Kaya.
She's assistant editor at OK Magazine.
Is that so?
Oh and this is Belinda,
I mean she needs no introduction
and she is also
New client at Olive Ridge.
- Oh my gosh!
- Wow!
I can't believe you never
mentioned this to me.
Uh, wow!
Hey.
Hi.
You're bummed you lost?
We were never going to win.
So I guess?
Absolutely.
Whoa! Hold up.
I'm sssI'm so sorry.
I think I read that all wrong.
No that's not it. I just don't like...
You know I don't like it when
my women are
- Are what?
- Easy.
- I'll just... I'll take a cab home.
- I'm just saying,
I think a woman should you know,
keep from giving it all up.
- How is a kiss giving it all up?
- On the first date? Come on Celine...
- that's usually a sign.
- A sign that
d'you know what? Don't answer that.
Oh, hey!
II didn't mean to offend you. Okay.
I'm just saying virtue is important to me.
And my virtue is connected to my vagina?
- Celine I'm just asking you to wait.
- No you're slut shaming.
- I didn't call you a slut.
- And you didn't have to. Just
Listen.
My worth is not directly proportional
to the number of balls
I've nested in my chin.
Hey Celine.
- Hey Celine!
- Fuck you Khalid!
All we ever do is fight and fuck Josh!
I don't know what you want from me.
Why was she even there?
You know you'll have to figure
your shit out
because I'm sick and tired
of fighting over this girl.
Look, you didn't wanna come.
Robin invited you but chose
a work assignment instead.
So what?
Now you don't want me to work?
What the actual fuck?
I can't keep doing this.
Umm, we realize that the magazine
has been suffering
over the last three months,
and unfortunately I do not know
what we can do to bring the numbers up.
Would you like to join us Ms Kaya?
Huh?
Last night was intense
and you did land that Belinda Muli
interview.
So that gets you a pass. One pass.
She's gotten a whole season
worth of passes.
Something important you'd like
to add Jacob?
No sir. Nothing.
Nothing is absolutely right.
As in you and this bunch
of middle-aged liabilities
have given me nothing
for my next month's issue.
You pretty much
shut down all our ideas.
They were stupid and underdeveloped.
Or we could run away with a
story about proposal
This again?
I'm sorry.
You've pitched this to me
three times sugar.
Now I like you,
so I'm just gonna go ahead
and give you some advice.
Why don't you gather your fucking ovaries
and ask him what he wants?
It's 2017. You're a smoking number.
And I don't understand what
you're doing around
a noncommittal fucktard.
Ask him what he wants. He'll say no.
Obviously because he's trash.
Then you move on.
Good meeting everyone.
Get the fuck out of my office.
Celine?
Yeah?
Umm
What, it can't wait?
I think you might want to take this.
Oh my godWhy?
Is everything okay?
Yes!
- Hello Hi.
- Hi Neema.
How are you Celine?
Caught you at a bad time?
No, no.
So whawhat's up?
I was thinking maybe we could
do something for Joshua's birthday.
Something intimate. Just close friends.
Aw! Yeah,
Yeah. I could even send you
some numbers if you'd like.
Uh, just the four of us.
- The four of us?
- Me, Josh, you, Khalid.
I saw you two together
at the awards.
- Yeah. Khalid... Khalid and I we are
- Oh no. It didn't work out?
Poor girl.
Yeah.
- There's nobody really?
- Of course...
Of course there's someone.
Of course. There's someone.
Great. Bring them.
I'll send you dates later on today.
Take care.
Yeah, so I was
Hello? Hello?
- There is no one, is there?
- Oh my gosh!
What is wrong with these boys?
- Can't they see how pretty you are?
- Open your mouth.
Nice
Nice.
Nice.
So how do you know Preeti?
Uh, her father and I
work together.
Nice family.
They're an exceptional bunch.
It's not her fault.
Huh?
Yeah. I insisted on the date.
She thought you might react this way.
No. no. It's fine.
Look.
I know I'm not
what you're looking for.
I'm not traditionally handsome
and you saw what I did to that soup.
But, I'd like to think I'm a good guy.
I suppose what I needed
was a night out with
some nice company.
Mmhm?
- So what do you do?
- See, my work is not that exciting.
I like what you ladies did
with the proposal.
Has everyone read this proposal?
Oh. Was I not supposed to?
No it's just
I'm afraid we might be overstretching.
My dear.
I have holdings in almost
every company around here.
I get pitched ideas every hour.
I know a good proposal when I see one.
That's what you tell all the girls.
The holding part, yes.
Did it work? Mmm?
- And?
- And nothing.
We had a great meal and then he went home.
So nothing at all?
Nothing, and...
- I know why you set me up with him.
- Shhh!
Well, you wouldn't speak
to me about the proposal
so I thought you'd listen
to a professional.
Mmhm.
- Things are going great like really great.
- Mmh, baby girl got life.
Hold up coz' it's about to get weird.
So the house was sexy.
Okay? Like goddamn!
Uhhuh.
So we get inside and he's
being all gentle,
and he's doing this thing with his tongue
around my neck.
Oh!
Then halfway through that
whole neck action
I started feeling some type of way.
Oh Lord! I know the feeling.
He doesn't even have grapes here?
Hmm. So cheap.
So I tell him
Uh, I think I'm going to go.
Why? Don't do this to me.
Red flag!
Right?
But then of course Celine
wants to negotiate consent.
Not tonight.
Come on. Why?
Because... I'm on my period.
You're not on your period.
Yeah, she tracks my cycle.
Don't even bother having that discussion;
it's a losing battle.
And thank you so much for
joining us today Ashley.
She's right I wasn't.
I just wanted to go home and
he then he wouldn't let me.
He wouldn't let you?
Show me.
Excuse me?
What?
I've seen a lot of girls in my time
and they've used that same excuse.
So prove it.
Show me.
Noo!
So did you?
Noo! I left.
So now you girls can understand
why I need a well-deserved break from men.
So men in general or just men
who are not Josh?
And that's not even the weirdest date
I've been on.
I'm telling you Nairobi, is a peanut.
Water for the table?
Sparkling or still?
- Sparkling.
- Still.
- Ok we'll just have...
- I'll get a sparkling.
How about we get both?
So, what are you
thinking of having?
Umm...
What, what did I say?
No it's nothing
it's just that she orders the same thing
every single time.
- Oh.
- Mmm.
Greek salad.
So, what will you guys have?
A salad for me please. Caesar.
Alright.
I'll have a stew.
Let me have some salad. Please.
Alright I'll have some chicken. Spicy.
And some fries.
Alright
So, how's the economy? Good? Bad?
I hear it's one way or the other.
Um, things are kind of
in between right now.
Mmm.
That's a good thing?
I guess it is. Yes.
Don't let the pretty face fool you.
She knows perfectly well how
the economy is going.
Oh! I don't doubt it.
So how did you two meet?
Um, well
Text.
Oh, I'm all for a modern
love story.
I read an article the other day that
Tinder is the new nightclub.
I suppose it is.
Um, Look, I'm not going to bash
traditional dating but
this works for me.
For us, I mean I literally have to
schedule my own meals
and this phenomenal woman
over here is running her own practice
and the world with those eyes.
The birthday boy is awfully quiet.
Huh?
Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday dear Josh
- Happy Birthday to you
- -Happy Birthday to me
Happy Birthday.
Yay! Let's cut the cake guys.
- Cut it cut it cut it...
- I thought she only had salad.
Wow! Your face is a salad.
- Birthday boy first.
- Please.
You know what I just remembered?
What?
This one. Maria.
Oh my god!
- Who's Maria?
- Poor Maria.
- It was just so
- Is she an old flame?
Oh there were flames involved.
Oh! That is cruel.
- I know.
- Cruel
But you ate that biryani.
You ate it! It was so good.
Who is Maria?
When we were younger.
Josh used to have a pet chicken
that he loved so much.
And then his parents made him
Christmas dinner!
That, that's actually cruel.
Isn't it just?
He didn't speak to his parents for like
what a month?
Josh?
Get the car. Get the car!
Where's the EpiPen? Neema?
It's okay, come on.
No nuts! You know this,
I know you know this.
I'm sorry.
You know he could have died?
I said I was sorry Celine.
You're his girlfriend,
you're supposed to take care of him.
It can't be that hard.
That was unfair. I didn't mean it.
Fuck you Celine.
I deserve that.
Don't pretend to give more of
a shit about him
now that you've got the upper hand.
What upper hand?
Look, it's just the two of us here.
Drop the act.
What are you talking about?
All I'm saying is you're supposed
to know better.
He told you on the first date
he's allergic.
What?
Now you know what we talk about
on our first date?
We're best friends Neema,
he tells me things.
Oh my god! You're in love with him.
And you know what?
He might love you back.
Did your best friend tell you that
we're getting married?
Yeah. I thought so.
It took him so long to get here.
You had your shot
and you ruined it.
- Josh and I have
- Oh no sugar, I'm talking about Kenneth.
You bet on the wrong horse.
So, the coffee is exceptionally bad
but I'm...
sure you won't mind.
Thanks. I think we should go so...
I'll just go and say a quick goodbye.
- Richard
- It's, it's alright.
Look I'm not going to pretend
like it doesn't completely suck
In another life maybe.
So this is where
the magic happens?
I suppose so.
Smaller than I expected.
I get a lot of done here.
I bet.
- Hey!
- Hi.
You okay?
Yeah, why?
Well, you've been particularly silent.
It's been a particularly hard day.
I know. Your anniversary with Kenneth.
- How did you?
- But we talk about everything, remember?
Did I do something wrong?
Celine, we haven't spoken since my
disastrous birthday party,
which you saved my life by the way.
- Did I do something wrong?
- There's nothing wrong, seriously.
- There's nothing wrong.
- Well I, I'll just... just go in.
Josh?
Yeah?
Is there anything you want
to tell me?
Like what?
Just forget it.
So you just disappeared?
I was tired.
Come on Celine.
Josh, now is not a really good time
so just leave.
- I didn't know where to start.
- What are you talking about?
When you asked me if
I had something to say,
I didn't know where to start.
I didn'tI don't know where to start.
You've been here, you've always been here,
what if I fuck it up?
And you're not here anymore,
I don't wanna know what that feels like.
So that's why you decided to ask
Neema to marry you?
Like that would fix things.
What?
- Noo!
- What? She showed me the ring Josh.
Turn off the lights pretty baby
Put on some make love song
Turn down the noise pretty darling
Play me some Sauti Sol
Uh! Neema?
In here.
I have horny
Let me whisper in your ear
Baby get me right and clear
Until you say aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiii
Babe? Um, what's going on?
What do you think?
Beautiful right?
I know you've been thinking about
how to do this and
that's why you and me make such
a powerful team.
You get me and I get you...
I'm gonna cut you off right there.
- What's all this?
- I'm proposing to you silly.
Well, you're actually proposing to me
but semantics.
Um.
Go on. Ask me. Ask me.
What the hell? Yes!
- Of course I'll marry you.
- Ah.
I called it.
I said this girl was crazy
and then you guys,
- you called me anti-feminist.
- I just ran.
You know she's gonna burn your clothes
like that's happening.
No, she's more of a beach girl.
Yeah, I see that
and I'm not taking you to buy new clothes.
Josh, what are we doing?
I don't know.
You're only here because you're
scared of your girlfriend.
I'm here because I'm scared
of losing you.
You left and, I couldn't breathe.
Josh, no no.
It's fine.
Look it's
I'm tired of being scared.
I've loved you since we were five.
What?
That just sounds so wrong.
Yeah. I heard it the moment I said it.
You spent the night with her.
Didn't you?
You know, you two will never be happy.
She doesn't know you I mean,
really know you.
Not like I do.
You're actually insane.
That may be true,
but so are you.
I know the kind of crazy you are, heck!
I was even ready to accept it.
I didn't need some kind of divine push
to go for what I wanted,
and maybe it didn't work out.
But at least I know who I am.
You don't love her Josh.
Not the way you think you do anyway.
You're just hoping she'll help you
keep your demons in check.
At least I'll sleep easy,
'cause mine are in the open.
Call me when yours are ready
to come out and play.
I honestly don't wanna feel like
I'm swimming in the bottom
of the refrigerator.
Ah! These SA trips are too clich.
Why don't you go to the coast?
You have unnecessary class!
Don't listen to her.
Let me know if you do any of those
umgrand wine farm trips.
I'm thinking maybe I can
have my wedding down there.
Oh, and your husband is gonna love it,
cause his first miracle was
turning water into wine.
Shade!
Sorry I'm late.
Huh!
What?
Argh! My head hurts.
Let me get this right.
So, Neema went ahead and bought
herself an engagement ring?
And said it was from Josh?
And then she went ahead
and proposed to herself?
- That's correct.
- Seriously?
This is the devil at work.
I'm telling you guys it's the
devil working,
you just need to pray about this
People like this are just gonna come and
I know this look.
There's more, right? So spill it.
Spill the tea girl.
Okay, so Josh and I
- we finally...
- What?
Oh my god!
Okay, my money? Please.
My money, my money, my money
Woooo!
What's going on?
What's going on?
Okay, we kind of had a bet like
- if you're gonna do it or not.
- Wow! Wow.
So, how was it?
Judy,
I know you owe me five. Ebu give it to me
before I cut you in the name of Jesus.
Gambling is a sin.
- Oh, is it now?
- Yeah.
Let's see what you
will do when I wipe your brows...
Okay fine fine.
- So how was it? So?
- How was it?
So what?
Are you and Josh dating now?
It was just sex - and I need to
use the bathroom.
Eh!
Excuse me? Excuse me?
Please give us the menu.
You do realize that she left?
She's not coming back,
because the bathroom is the other way.
Oh my god!
Music
Celine?
I still think it's cute how
you can't drink hot coffee.
And you know what's not cute?
A burnt tongue.
That's what?
I heard you got that big client?
Not quite.
Uh, there are still a few things
that I need to tie up.
And you?
Uh, the expansion happening?
Preeti threatened to release
pictures of me
in primary school so...
- The one's with the braces? And the acne?
- Yeh.
Oh.
So you see why I had to cave?
Mmhmm.
My street cred was in jeopardy.
I hear your girlfriend got a promotion?
She did.
That piece she wrote about the
proposal went viral.
- Oh.
- Mmhm.
Still crazy?
Yes, absolutely.
Hes a boy next door weh deh
slowly steal my heart away
Baby by the way
I hear seh you lookin for a sexy gyal
The kind weh fi take away your fever yeah
The kind we fi rub your belly
all night long
music
Help me sing help me sing sing
On the down low Ive been lovin eminado
Tangu enzi za maziwa ya Nyayo
Im ready to love you
from January to December
- Hold my hand and don't let me go, no
- Baby lets roll out
Wanna have a conversation
maybe roll one
Take you somewhere higher
give you more life
Ive been really really
feeling your flavour
Ooh, when we roll one
Ill give you everything
you need more ah
A see seh you deh like to
kick it on the low ah
I know you wanna get
a taste of my flavour
- Boy next door
- Its you
It's a nice surprise Josh.
I wasn't expecting you here.
I think Im crazy for you
Leaving my homies for you
Coming home early to you
- Im going mad over you
- Mad over mad over
Mad over
On the down low Ive been
lovin eminado
Heeey.
Care for a nightcap?
Always.
Wanna have
A conversation maybe roll one
Take you somewhere
higher give you more life
Ooh, when we roll one
Ill give you everything
you need more ah
A see seh you deh like
to kick it on the low ah
I know you wanna get a taste
of my flavour sana Boy next door
So accept, if you man is a whore
he's a whore.
He's clumsy, he just keeps falling
into ladies.
Ladies, meet Richard.
Richard, welcome
to the deep end.
Hello ladies. I wish I knew I was coming
to meet a group of gorgeous women.
I would have dressed better.
Oh, really?
Love the way the suit hugs you.
Turn around, we see what we're
working with.
Okay.
Richie Richie, me likey likey.
Richie, Rich?
That nickname is probably going to stick,
isn't it?
Yeah it's best not to fight it.
Forgive TK, I mean.
She's going through a dry spell.
See I recently got married...
Shut up Robin.
No one wants to hear about your marriage.
Are you the only one who's married!?
You're going to scare this man away.
Quite the contrary actually. May I?
Sure, come to mama
Thank you.
Do you know about our Lord and Savior,
Jesus Christ?
Huh!
I could introduce you if you'd like.
You're on your own.
II have..um
- Good good good.
- Um...
But I'm more inclined to the
ways of the Buddha.
For me the absence of doctrine
- seems to be a much more natural state
- I like him already.
So do I.
Oh yeah.
Run go meet her dad
You don wanna do
Well this is Sauti Sol
Celine?
Celine?
Surely Celine.
- Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!
- Wake up
You've been avoiding me. Why?
I can take a couple of days off,
okay. I'm grown.
It's nearly been a week Celine.
Ugh!
Now you know I have to kill you right?
Like there's no other way around it.
Yeah you can do that
once you get up.
Why do you hate me?
I'm about to risk getting an infection
by entering
that kitchen to make you some tea.
I don't want some tea
Chamomile with honey?
Okay...
There's no chamomile or honey or
any form of sustenance.
I need some orange juice.
There's some orange juice.
That should do you good.
Mmhmm
Ugh!
No orange juice for you.
Okay, talk to me...
You can tell me.
So I couldn't sleep that night
I was thinking about him.
I don't know, maybe I was tired
of this open relationship.
Ugh! Ugh! Ugh!
That'sdisgusting.
So you know that handbag
is an abyss right?
And I think I lost a phone
in there five years ago
and I just found it.
Hopes and dreams go in there to die.
You worry about your own life please.
Is Tupac in there?
So early in the morning
I rocked up at his
He was there, watching rugby.
I was thinking of,
maybe taking things up a notch.
MmmhHindsight, I should have known.
Well, well, well!
- Hello! Hello! So, what did I miss?
- Thanks.
What? I needed backup.
Ehhh? Tell me...
What? I don't have to tell you guys
anything.
Come on, we're good. Right Josh?
Mmhmm
Who is going to tell me
what's going on?
Come o
"Why do I" Ugh! Fine.
Okay
How do your friend here
decided that rocking up
at Ken's house for a booty call
was a good idea.
So, she got over there
and was flaunting herself and all.
Waaa!
Okay so now I have both
questions and comments.
So you guys will tell me which
one to start with first.
Actually...
Let me start with comments.
Cause if Iit just feels like
a great place you know to
explore how much judgment
I've reserved for you.
Mmhmm
Tell me.
What were you doing at Ken's place?
As early as 6 a.m?
- That kinda sounds like a question.
- I know, I've changed my mind halfway.
I don't know, okay?
It was bad, and I need some time!
Celine no.
That is highly counterproductive to what
we're trying to achieve here.
It was bad, ehh?
I had this trench coat
over sexy lingerie.
I get over him and begin a sexy dance.
He looks shocked.
I thought the surprise worked.
I mean it's a free booty call
early in the morning.
I would be excited too.
- Ohh!
- Then she spoke.
- Damn!
- Yeah.
- Shit.
- Wow!
Exactly!
I'm just gonna take a quick pause on this,
it pre love moment
we are sharing right now.
But I have lots of questions!
Weren't you guys in an open relationship?
Nah, I never really understood that.
Ummh, actually the correct term is
non monogamy.
Ah, booboo you are not going to
"ummh actually" your way out of this.
You're the one who made a huge deal about;
being progressive, giving a man space,
not being contained by flawed expectations
of the human condition,
that go against our very nature.
That is quite a speech.
Yes! Quite the vagina monologue Josh.
Babe, what really happened?
Celine! Celine! Celine stop!
- You made that last part up?
- Yeah.
But I did listen to Lemonade
the entire way home
- Did you cry?
- I cried!
So now? It's over?
Wait,
I still have lots of questions!
I need a shower.
Absolutely, you smell like death flavour
of a very heavy flower...
- So heavy
- Well
I hate to interrupt this
little Sisterhood
of the travelling pants moment but
gotta go to work.
Goodbye.
Why are men so fragile?
- So fragile...
- And by the way.
Kenneth is an ass for losing you.
Oh my gosh, I feel so much better now.
Now that you've said that,
like I'm healed.-
I can't; men are trash...
you're awesome.
Thank you so much, Goodbye.
Okay.
Let's go, I pick an outfit for you.
Something decidedly lesbian
cause you, you need to be off men.
- For a while.
- Yeah.
- Yeah?
- Yes.
We scheme for them?
Aai, Hallelujah!
Hi.
Hey?
The hounds you sent dragged me out of bed.
I missed you too.
Hi. Thank you!
Hello.
The place hasn't burned down. That's good.
- Yeah, we're trying to...
- Hey.
There he is.
Well another week off. Huh!
So what was the problem this time?
On a scale of death on Grey's anatomy
and of course your ovaries raging war
on your uterus?
Does your wife kiss you with that mouth?
- All she gotta kiss is a whole
- Oh my!
I've regretted it as soon as I asked.
- Thank you
- Am I not allowed to tease the boss?
Your casual misogyny
is getting old Patrick.
Ohhh! Triggered.
Listen, I have some free time
if you wanna pop in and consult on
- perimenopause
- You're an orthodontist.
- I do know my way around...
- Please don't finish that sentence.
- Preeti.
- Patrick.
Why did we hire him?
He is good.
I am.
And then there is that.
Mmhhm.
Yeah, the patriachy
does pay my car insurance.
I'm painfully aware.
Here you go.
What?
New patients on paper
I thought you guys were trying
to get me to go digital?
It's the proposal. In hard copy
- cause you're terrible with emails.
- I am not!
Really?
I will have a look at it I promise.
I've heard that before Celine
- and this time you really need to
- Hi Mrs Njuguna,
how is it that you always get younger
every time I see you?
I hope you're a better dentist
than you are a liar.
- Well you keep coming back.
- Why not?
- It's nice to see you Mrs Njuguna.
- And you too.
Still wading in the murky waters
of solitude?
Ah! Um..I'm sorry?
Yes, yes. She's still single.
- Payback
- Three months later?
Ah, it hasn't been that long.
Has it?
Mrs Njuguna does have
a standing appointment with us.
A three-month standing appointment.
Is there really no one for her?
Ahhh, Um..I'm sorry?
What? I'm sure Preeti
is fine being single.
Right?
Poor girl.
- There's no one.
- Celiiiiine!
Come on. Let's get those gums checked.
I laugh at myself every time
When I find myself in trouble
Cause most of the time
I find myself alone
The ones I laugh with
Are nowhere
To be seen
Where are you
Where are you
Saying to the world
that you care about me
Yet you are a liar do they even know
Taking pictures hashtag
Im chilin with her
Right now Im crying
Looking back youre nowhere
to be seen!
Where are you
Where are you
I laugh at myself every time
When I get myself in trouble
Twice in one day,
that has got to be some kind of record.
My phoneit's been off the whole day.
So you haven't heard? Jesus!
Umm, there's been an accident.
It's Kenneth.
So she's deep frying butter in butter?
And that's not even the best part.
Guess what she'll garnish it with?
Butter?
Butter. That's correct.
Yes!
It's okay.
You know he tried to call me today?
- CC, there's no way you could have...
- I know.
Adam kissed Eve
And the world came to be
Romeo kissed Julliet
So kiss me now babe
Tomorrow I might be gone
Momma kissed Papa
And so I was born
Judas kissed Jesus
Betrayal was done
So kiss me now
Baby
Tomorrow I might be gone
I might be gone tomorrow
May not be like today
And even if I am here
I might not taste the same
Kiss me now baby
Tomorrow I might be gone
Delila kissed Samson
And cut off his hair
And Shiba kiss Solomon
And wisdom was shared
So kiss me now baby
Kiss me now kiss me now
- Tomorrow I might be gone
- I might be gone
Aaah
Sinful woman kissed the feet
Of Christ
And David kissed Jonathan
And friendship survived
Kiss me now baby
- Hi. Thank you.
- tomorrow I might be gone
Uwooh ouwooh yeah
I might be gone
Tomorrow
- May not be like today
- be like today
And even if Im here
I might not taste the same
- Kiss me now baby
- kiss me now baby
Tomorrow I might be gone
Come kiss me now baby
Tomorrow I might
Be gone
I may seem innocent like a cat
without her claws
You may think I am super sweet
but like a lion Im gonna roar
I will take you by surprise
like a stranger in the night
Ready or not here I come
Ready or not here I come
Boy you better run and hide
Here comes trouble
Here comes trouble
I say ohh, ohh, I feel your lust
I know you wanna be dangerous
Clearly it's worse than I thought.
My money!
Faster faster!
Thank you.
Eh! Eh! Eh! Thank you.
Great deal
Don't even explain.
Explaining makes it hard.
Clearly we all need to go out.
How are you?
Jesus!
Heal her, heal her.
Where we need to go, is church.
This Sunday.
It's happening, don't fight it.
Don't involve me
in your church business.
You just counted yourself
out of the kingdom of heaven.
- How about that?
- Mmhmm, I know.
Ladies, ladies. Play nice.
Celine.
Come!
Ugh! Preeti!
Shsshh.
- I'm fine, I promise.
- Don't fight it, let it happen.
Have your boobs gotten bigger?
They have? They have? Haven't they?
Come on, they have.
What exactly were you hoping
would happen?
I don't know.
I wanted to, surprise him.
- With some morning head?
- Yes TK, with morning head.
How is that such a bad thing?
Umm, fornication for one?
Go away!
Say, as much as I've come to appreciate
your 40-year-old virgin acts,
some of us need some good stroke
on a regular...
Oh my god!
You said it girl.
Stop it.
No no, seriously, why even did you have
a key to his house?
For emergencies.
Now I think even he forgot
he gave it to me.
You guys should have seen the look
on his face like
"I fucked up."
No, no, no. He fucked up.
Ayee, let's not speak ill of
the dead surely.
I shouldn't have gone there.
The ghosting was a hint.
- So, was she hot?
- TK??
Seriously Toni!
It's just a question.
Okay.
It's okay.
Is that?
Yeah.
Yooo, she is hoooot
Yeah.
I can't imagine what that must have
felt like.
I can stillfeel the heat from the tarmac.
Well Samantha is in grief...
Some volume, turn it up.
No guys.
No it's fine, it's okay.
I cradled him when
I cried for help.
That sling, it looks like an accessory.
Yeah and the heifer is working it.
It's okay, you're okay now.
I don't trust her.
Hey Toni, a man is dead.
And, she's in hospital?
Yeah! With her face full of make-up.
And yet his body is not even cold
and she's already giving an interview.
Guys?
She has make-up on.
And brows on fleek?
Okay.
She does look good though.
Fam, her boyfriend just died.
An entrepreneur always
searches for change.
Responds to it,
exploits it as an open window.
You genuinely scare me sometimes.
- What are we watching?
- Opportunity!
Anyway.
All right guys.
- Let's focus.
- We have a big
Holy shit! She's here.
You actually did it
Belinda Muli
I'm gonna get you really drunk
so you can tell me how
you managed to pull that off
Actually involves alcohol,
and her secretary
and my penis.
Alright, focus.
Miss Muli.
Miss Muli, it's a pleasure
to meet you in person.
Yes, I imagine it is.
Thank you so much for seeing us today
Miss Muli.
Call me Belinda.
We were surprised that you came
to our offices.
We would have been happier
to come to yours.
It wasn't necessary.
Well Miss Muli or rather Belinda
wanted to come and see
where her money is going.
- Isn't that right?
- Yes, intimately.
You're a sharp cookie.
I think you'll find that this particular
jar is full of them.
Miss Muli, would you like
something to drink?
No thank you.
Okay, um.
So, we sent you a proposal about us
the company, and we are the premium
bouquet
to...
What just happened?
- You could lend a hand.
- Where's the fun in that?
I'm a feminist.
No seriously Celine, it's a two-day trip.
Come on.
It's a wedding Josh.
How many weddings are they
planning to have?
- Look if you didn't want to do this
- Relax.
And I hate it when people tell me that.
I know.
Cause I'm so tipsy
And you're so in
My head and am trying
Jeez!
Not to lose my friend
Jumping off the friendzone baby
Alright, buckle up.
Out of the friend zone baby
And I got no parachute
Jumping off the friend zone baby
Out of the friend zone baby
E ya mado
Ahh.
Thanks boo.
You are my inspiration
in the music I compose
Mentally frustration
Are you okay?
I have hidden my feelings
Jumping off the friend zone
Baby
Out of the friend zone baby
And I got no parachute
Jumping off the friend zone
The creator was not wrong
I've always been jealous how you do that.
What?
You can just REM minutes after
the car starts moving
So, what were we dreaming of?
Ken.
This isn't disenfranchised grief.
I was going to marry that man.
You know, I don't recall
you guys being that
How was the funeral?
Uneventful.
CC you're taking this death a lot harder
than I thought you would.
I think it may have been my fault.
Partly.
You're doing that thing again.
That thing where you make something
that has absolutely nothing to do with you
about you.
Don't look at me like that,
you know it's true.
Remember when Prince died?
Oh my god that was devastating.
Yeah, and you cried the entire week
and then said that he was selfish.
He knew how much I needed that new album,
and then what does he do?
He goes and dies.
Disrespectful!
And then there was Whitney
Ok now that was just uncalled for.
I had tickets to see her live.
Selfish!
You don't mean that do you?
Of course not,
she's the voice of our generation.
Her and Beyonc.
All that, hidden nonsense you listen to.
I feel like you've been
practicing
- that Judy impression for a while.
- I have. You know she called me a
devil hugging demon because
I forgot the Lord's Prayer.
What? How does
she come up with these things?
I know right.
The car
- The red Peugeot.
- No.
- I thought you said no CC.
- It was just supposed to be a soft loan.
There's nothing soft about a down payment
on a sissy vehicle.
That coupe was beautiful.
Anybody who drives a coupe
is viscerally vain.
- Your dad drives a coupe.
- Well he's intrinsically one of those.
Bottom line CC,
it's not your fault
that he died in the accident.
He was a shitty driver.
You are in the clear.
Two doors when you can have four. Why?
Youre my light Im your shadow
Never never never gonna let you go
When Im troubled, baby yeah
My daughter. Always the last to arrive.
Fashionably.
We left late, it was my fault.
I know.
- Nobody's feeding you in the big city?
- Just been busy.
Too busy to eat?
To come see me? I just missed you.
- I've missed you too Mom.
- I've missed you too Mama C.
My son, getting more and more handsome
every time I see him.
- Yeah
- Don't you think so Celine?
- Wait for it.
- Why don't you marry this boy?
And there it is.
- No I'm ju... I'm just asking.
- I want to go and find Guka.
He's in there, pretending that he hasn't
been looking forward to this all week.
Thanks, I'll see you later.
- Alright.
- Wait, you're not staying?
- I made so much food.
- I need to go and see the folks.
- Tell your mum I have her sweet potatoes...
- Oh my gosh mom Let the boy go.
- Honestly, I think she's just scared.
- Oh my gosh mom stop.
Ok Mama C.
Take care.
I will never be a grandmother.
Oh hey boo!
- Hi! When did you get here?
- Like an hour ago.
- Mmm
- Oh by the way the ladies are here
they're super excited.
- And you?
- I ran away.
- And did you see the goats?
- All 99 of them?
Nicholas is not playing.
Why did you run?
I just needed to find somewhere quiet
to pray.
I should have just stayed at
my Dad's house here.
Yeah? Why didn't you?
I just don't like being alone.
And the house is too big.
I get the feeling it's
Haunted.
By who?
The ghost of the privileged past?
The Mau Mau.
Oh my god!
Toni collect your friend.
No no no, friend is a very strong word.
Please, no, no.
Get married.
You know I just might.
What? Are you serious?
Yeah.
I'd argue I'm more significantly more
than a bunch of goats, but yeah.
You? Slay queen.
Eh, Martha Karua has softened.
Our Ayn Rand.
What, I can't get married and fight
patriarchy too?
Does everything have to be about
the patriarchy though?
- Yeah.
- Preety much!
And besides I wouldn't expect someone
who's dedicated her entire life
to a fictional character and his father
in a story book.
Ah? Ouch!
You spit that out right now!
Hey, can the members
of the feminist brigade
- come help me in the kitchen?
- Sure.
Now this one, is tied to her
husband, I'm sure she won't let go.
Just see how he spoils her.
Such a comedy.
Let's go!
The meat is ready and the women
are at the gate!
And that venue is lit.
It's quite something Robin.
Thanks for running interference T.
Anything to get me out of whatever
you guys are wearing.
You know its like they get itchier
the more we wear them.
I think I'm gonna try to convince daddy
to skip this part of my wedding.
Look at this one,
thought your dad knows
you are already married to Jesus.
Amen to that.
Hi, hand them over.
What? We love Nicholas but he has
a gentle disposition.
You know they are gonna
tear him apart
if he gets nervous and
gets this wrong this time.
- I mean last time was hilarious, right?
- Yeah, right.
Why did he pick me? I am..
Don't even try to say it's
because you are light skinned please!
- I was going to go with tall.
- Sure.
That boy almost cried.
You know he'll still owes baba
like more goats
even after he had given
like a thousand cows
after that wedding fine
Are you girls ready?
You know, your husband is greedy.
I just thought I should
just tell you that.
- It's alright mama.
- I'm so proud of you.
Aki Mama Ciru you know
you'll make her cry.
The way we've spent hours on that face.
I love you
Let's go! Cover your faces.
We go finish with these traditions!
- Let's go.
- Sure?
Okay. Are we ready?
No.
- Robin?
- Yes, I don't know, maybe.
I don't know.
Okay which one is it?
It's okay.
Yes, okay.
- Yes.
- Yes?
Yes.
Yah, absolutely yes.
Yes!
Okay. Okay I'll take it.
Okay let's go.
Hey you.
- Hey, you guys done?
- Uh huh.
Cool. What are you wearing?
I'm on my way.
Oh! Look who's awake
Breakfast?
No thanks.
When did this girl start hating food?
Med school.
Where's everyone else?
They left already, you've been asleep
for a while.
Mmm.
Hi, Josh we go?
Alright.
See you.
Mama C, I'll miss you.
I'll miss you too.
Give me a second,
I'll get something for you.
Okay.
- I'll be in the car.
- Alright.
Did you love him,
the boy that died?
How did you?
We may not talk much but I'm your mother.
I know things.
You know you can call me right?
Yeah, I know. I know.
Bye Guka.
You are not living to abuse
Your grandpa doesn't talk much
Are you going to be okay?
He'll be fine, he's just old. It happens.
It happens.
Okay, what are you doing with my phone
and where is your own?
I don't know, I can't find it,
I'll just check my emails.
- You never check your email.
- I know, and I'm trying to be better.
I'm not gonna scroll through
your dick pics.
I don't have any dick picks.
You all just don't know
That is why you will not
You don't stop abusing
You all just don't know
What my mom taught me
That is why you will not
You don't stop abusing
Coochie, Coochie, Coochie
Where are you?
Oh Preeti?
I'm goin' find you
oh I'm goin' find you.
Come..come here.
Where are you?
Ah! I have found you!
Heeeeeey.
Ah, Jo..Josh!
Josh!
Celine!
So you didn't ask him that?
Of course not,
but I feel like I should have.
I should have, right?
Well what was that?
What was what?
What was that?
Wait.
Come on, what was that?
TK? TK? TK?
Or maybe, maybe just your timing
is a little off.
You and Preeti have been trying
to take me upwith anything that walks
Yes, except Josh!
And why the hell not.
You've been trying to pair us up forever.
Babe,
you should be playing the part of
a grieving wife right now.
Okay, and I vote we change the subject.
Feels like we just talk about men
when we hang out.
Hey, Preeti has been trying to get me
- into this expansion plan.
- Oh!
- You've read the proposal already?
- It's a solid one.
Look, I've worked my butt off
to get us where we are.
- I'm not gonna just gamble it all away.
- What's so special now?
I'm just not ready.
That's not it
I just
I need to have something that
I can't lose.
Okay?
That's a good one.
Who's gonna put it down.
Lay it on... set... Mmm.
Can you stop that.
You look stupid.
Come on man, she was banking on you.
- Heard?
- No.
Why don't you ask Khalid?
Yeah.
Khalidwell I would but
Khalid is
Well Khalid, I mean look at him.
He looks like he has two kids,
and an adopted dog.
I mean his balls look like
they have a mortgage.
He's a dad without
really being a dad.
Thank you.
Huh!
Nobody wants to fuck with a fore dad
Well I'll have you know
I do just fine.
Yeah if the girls
have dad issues
Sure.
But she has eyes only for you Joshy boy...
For you!
And I just want you to expand that.
I want you to do it for us...
For us.
No.
Sometimes you say
the most hurtful things
Nicky boy!
Quit steaming your balls,
we've got a bachelor party to kick off.
What's it with you and balls?
Cause I have a sturdy pair
and he is about to lose his.
But not before the city sucks them dry.
Graphic. Oh Graphic.
My guy, you guy.
Hmm.
Hey! Hey! Hey!
Come on. Shots anyone? Shots?
- It's Olivia Pope night.
- And it's only 8 p.m.
Come on, you said no
to the strippers,
no to the dildo straws,
no to the condom veil. Aiii!
What! There's no condom veil?
Yeah, and all we got left
is this big mansion,
with some scavenger hunt
looking for some quest
from some Benny Hinn
someone, about marriage
Oh! Come on.
That, that's not how scavenger hunts
works honey.
Okay, some woman coming to talk to Robin
about being a good wife?
Oh yes because
Every good wife,
must cook for the husband, every day
without exception.
Now give me the money
So rude.
Babe, I'm getting married this weekend,
again,
and this is the only chance for me
to make poor decisions,
and I don't wanna do it without you.
But, our bodies are temples.
They are made of tequila mostly.
Drink up.
Yes.
Drink up pastor!
Shots! Shots! Shots!
Yes!
Sweat sweat sweat
Wet wet wet
Sweat sweat sweat
You can see how I am bringing it down
you can see how I am bringing it up
And the way I am swinging it
Ooh
Sweat sweat sweat
Wet wet wet
Make your body wet wet wet
Wet wet wet wet
Wet
Ooh Wet
Ola!
Right now?
Get out of here.
Madam. You have a guest.
Thank you.
Baby boo say dare
Ladies I'll be right back, okay?
Oh say dare
And you say dare
Ooh say dare
Mmm.
Brother! Here?
Here.
Thanks bruh.
Relax, they're just mints
I think.
- I'm Joking.
- I swear this is not that kind of night.
I'm Joking, I'm just messing with you man.
All my drugs are color coordinated.
Nicky boy!
The stepbrother I never wanted
but I came to love.
How are you?
Want a mint?
- Noo.
- Ah, No! no! no!
We don't want ladies smelling
what you had for lunch now do you?
Bro, the only person
you are kissing tonight
Is the toilet seat bowl.
Let's go!
Argh.
Yes! Argh!
I haven't been out in ages man.
Somehow, I don't find that
hard to believe.
Thanks for organizing this Otis.
You really didn't need to throw me
a bachelor party.
Come on man, you're family, you're family,
you're family. We all are family.
- Ah?
- Mmm.
Okay, what's Khalid's last name?
Yeah, wha... what's my last name?
Kha..Khalid's last... last.
Your last name is let's get this
party started.
Go!
It's Mohammed, right?
Ali?
- No.
- Abdalla?
- You've worked with this guy for years.
- Give me something bro?
I step up in the club
Fine girls are confusing me
Every corner I look
I don't know what to do
I straight up go crazy
when a lady tries to hit on me
Are you okay boss?
If she insists I...
Nairobi ladies love to party
Even us guys weve come to party
Check how everybody
is having a good time
Good time yeah
Nairobi ladies love to party
Even us guys weve come to party
Check how everybody
is having a good time
NicholasNick. Please.
Everybody in the part say today
Its not yesterday not tomorrow
but today
Everybody in the part say today
Today
Its not yesterday not tomorrow
but today
I'm so sorry
Its where I want to be
Nairobi ladies love to party
Even us guys we've come to party
Check how everybody
is having a good time
Mmm.
Nairobi ladies love to party
Even us guys we've come to party
Check how everybody
is having a good time
Good time yeah
- Good evening?
- Everybody in the part say today
- Uh, can I kindly have your order?
- Leo
Yeah, all of this.
I'm on it.
She said on it.
Like on it.
- We on it. You on it. On it.
- Its not yesterday not tomorrow
Its not yesterday
not tomorrow but today
Everybody in the part say today
Na na na
Its not yesterday not tomorrow
but today
Today
So, listen up girls. Maanzesteme
- You.
- You.
I'm going to show you girls,
how to think of the penis.
Not, as a screwdriver. Ah! Ah!
But, like a microphone.
- Eh!
- Shhhhh!
System one, two...
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
One that you will be... speaking into.
What have I done?
Given me the best
bachelor party ever!
I am feeling so good,
I want to cry!
I'm done girls.
Jesus!
Oh!
Now, you need to learn how to,
communicate.
Talk to the penis.
Yes. Communicate.
First things first.
No play without... foreplay.
Yessss!
Foreplay is important!
Very much.
And then
- You must allow him, to go down there.
- Oh!
Oh!
Down... and stay down there.
Stay.
Yes.
20 minutes
minimum.
How about...
Really?
Okay.
Hello.
It's calling me.
You can touch.
Touch it!
I miss you.
I will sell your soul for the dick.
Oh.
For that.
Oh!
Give me this one.
Yes!
Let's speak into it.
Helloooo?
Ahhh!
Ah!
Argh! What time is it?
Midnight.
I took too many shots.
Argh!
- I think we went in too hard, too fast.
- I have the worst headache.
Where does he get
all that energy?
- And what happened to us?
- We're getting old.
It happens.
Did, did any of you see where
Otis put those mints?
Somewhere, on the sofa
Whoa!
Yoo! I'ma see you later at the bar.
Shots! Huh!
You guys having fun?
You guys having fun?
You guys having fun?
- You guys having fun?
- You know it looks like you just...
- Yo! I just feel like
- have one of those
passing out right here next to
big papa bear!
And this cushion smells like, shit.
Okay, I think this is that time
where I call an Uber.
- Who's coming?
- Oyaa!
Noo!
You heard me. I said no!
This is my last time to make
poor decisions
before I become Robin'sbitch!
Whoa there Kanye.
That's the first time I've heard you
curse my friend.
I don't do it often.
I never do anything.
Well you're getting married.
- She proposed.
- What?
- Yeah.
- Wow!
- I can actually see that.
- Fuck me!
She's planning everything,
from the wedding, the honeymoon,
the gender of our fourth child,
who we'll say is an accident,
but actually wasn't.
Yo, I think I think she's
- If you say crazy I'll...
- Hey hey hey.
Intense... I meant intense.
This is the only thing she let me have.
So right now, I just want to get
blackout drunk
and nestle some titties.
Okay.
Too much. Yeah?
Yeah. Yeah.
I heard it when I said it.
Let me get up.
It's alright.
Where are my titties?
What?
- Nick? Why?
- I trust you're having a good night?
- Yes we are.
- Can I get you gents anything else?
- Yes, yes!
- No!
The second half of this menu
- Bill.Menu.
- I got you
She's got, she's onouuu.
Yoo, did you guys pop?
Yooo I have stronger ones.
Some red ones over here.
Where...
- These aren't mints?
- Mmhm.
Where's Nicholas?
- Nick!
- music
Whatdid he?
Look, look!
Nicky! Nicky boy! Come here boy.
I just cant take it
No more no more no more
Ooh yeah hold me
Players circle hold me
The way she is killing me
You are loosing a member
East African girl forever
You are very beautiful
The way she is killing me
You are loosing a member
East African girl forever
You are very beautiful
The way she is killing me
You are loosing a member
Hey gorgeous.
Hey!
Are you having fun?
I'm having so much fun.
Honestly, more than I expected.
Here.
Aw thank you.
Ah, the boys are having fun huh?
Yeah, it's not like that,
they lost Nicholas
in the club or anything.
- Huh?
- Huh? What? What?
The one person, like forever.
I meanI can barely make up
my mind like about anything.
Like it took me an entire year
to pick out health insurance.
I can barely decide what
I want to have for dinner.
But II guess that's just why
we do what we do.
It's justLike you know but then
you don't know.
So you just cross your fingers
and hope you haven't fucked up too much.
Oh crap, Robin I'm so sorry.
Robin I'm so sorry.
It's okay.
It'sum..try..I'mI'm gonna go and get
Shit shit shit shit shit.
Don't mistreat him.
Heh!
- He's just drunk
- Hey!
Heh!
Hi.
Celine what the hell is going on?
Nothing, it's just err,
a lot of talking about dildos.
Why? Do you wanna join.
I mean with Robin?
Nothing, err II just spoke to her
a few minutes ago. Why?
You are not going to believe this
but apparently there is no wedding
so we need to sort this shit out.
Okay, err
They are saying there is no...
- wedding!
- I'm going to need you to repeat that
because I think
you just saidWhat!
- Robin, Robin, Robin hey!
- Celine hey! Hi!
I'm on the phone with Josh and the boys
Yeah. I hope they're enjoying themselves.
Heeey Josh!
- Huh! What?
- Did you just call off your wedding?
- What?
- Yeah!
Guys, what's happening?
She just called off her wedding.
- Ahayeah.
- What?
Huh?
Huh? Yeah!
Robin!
Is this because Nicholas took a shot
off a bartender's belly button?
- Belly button?
- Breasts okay?
He was taking shots of her breasts.
I'm sorry baby, I'm so sorry.
You know he never has fun.
Let him have fun.
Let him have some fun.
What is she saying?
I'm working on it Josh
calm thy tits
Alright the wedding is still on.
I thought about what you said,
and you know what?
- You were right!
- I don't know anything,
no one knows anything.
Nobody
What did you say?
I'm gonna have to call you back.
Celine wait. Please?
Hello? Hello?
Mmm.
Come, come!
No what have I done?
- Can you please sit down!
- Robin come. Come Robin
Oh my god!
Can you sit down here?
- Huh!
- You think we've been drinking porridge!
Hey cheers!
I don't even like that guy.
He's kind of soft.
You are not helping.
Is it a lie?
Are you seeing somebody else
Have you found somebody else
To love you like I love you
Even though we both agreed to
Do our thing
Aint no one above you
This my stop.
No no no.
My stop.
Bro, honestly what is wrong with you?
My stop.
What is wrong with you though?
I need to go to get out
No
It's my stop.
No.
Shhhh!
Honey? Babe? Robin!
Can wecan we at least talk about
this in the morning?
Yeah.
Sure thing!
- Yeah?
- Sure thing.
Okay good.
Jesus!
Oh my!
Okay let's just go.
Oh my god!
Mmm!
Huh!
Okay. Let's go.
Oh my gosh!
What is this, veggies and peanuts or what?
The way you look classy.
- Nonsense.
- Oh my god!
Real love
They say if you love something
let it go
For it come back anytime you know
That it is real love
No!
So how are you doing over there
It's my stop.
It's my stop!
- What is wrong with you?
- It's my stop!
Shhhhh!
You're so good to me.
It's hard not to be.
You're my sister.
You are my favorite sister.
I'm still awake bitches!
You're my favorite sister too.
Save it.
I love you.
You know who else you love?
Nicholas?
Nicholas.
But can we try and make it not sound
like a question?
Unless you're not sure.
I'm sure.
You know I justI just freaked out.
Yeah, and you have a fair amount
of tequila in you.
- And it all just ended up on your clothes.
- Yeah.
Hmmm.you know what?
I will marry Nicholas when you marry Josh.
Okay that's a very flimsy foundation
to predicate an entire future on.
But I know you mean well. So no.
You're going to marry this man
because you love him.
I do. Don't I?
Yes, so you're sticking
to the question format.
I think you're just scared.
Hmmm, we all are. I know I am.
Maybe TK was right.
- We all just want
- Celine! Shut up!
She's asleep. Argh!
That's my bottle!
Guys! I'm getting married again.
While I share in your joy,
I'm gonna need you to turn it down
a couple of decibels please.
Good on you buddy.
Are you not shattered?
Huh! It's called the wonders
of modern medicine.
Dude you were making out
with a bottle of Jager
I think her name was Anna,
if I remember correctly
and I do not.
Yoo! Why are you naked?
Yooo, yo! Okay one,
this is called underwear
and two the question here K dog
Don't call me that.
Is why are you so easily bothered
by my male form.
You see I'm comfortable in my sexuality.
Alright, that is my cue.
I'm gonna go take a shower.
Eggs?
Get out of my house.
Oh Disgusting
Fine. Your loss.
I make a bomb ass omelette.
So what happened yesterday peeps?
- Bottles were popping!
- Ah! Stop!
Oh!
It was sufficiently eventful.
Where did you even find Maanzeste?
Aii, don't even remind me, Jehovah!
Sometimes you
should let loose Pastor!
- Argh! I need to atone.
- What you need is pain relief. Here
What is this?
God's gift to women all over the world.
- Party girls all over the world.
- Yeah.
- It's mara moja.
- I don't think I should.
Fine fine fine, just stop that.
Give me that.
How are you even okay?
See the trick is, to never stop.
Okay...
Sip on mine.
Eh eh eh!
There will be no more puking
in this house. Judy!
Celine? Any news for us?
I am confused.
Why?
What? Oh my gosh you told them.
What's going on?
I'm thinking of maybe
Hunting for dick.
Jesus!
Yeah, yeah.
Only that you can't
get over Josh.
Ooooh!
That is done.
As much as that may be shade,
Lord knows that is not a lie.
You can't even defend yourself?
Oh Neema is gonna cut you.
Who's Neema?
Mmm?
Good question Ciru.
Who is she?
Neema is Josh's girlfriend.
No!
Only a girlfriend?
That girl looks like the fire emoji.
Bra?
Really?
She can only be described as
an unobtainable standard.
She's like, Wonder Woman,
if Wonder Woman wished she could.
I don't think so!
She's more beautiful,
more accomplished
and more self-aware than any queen
I've ever met.
- And, she's dating Josh.
- Noo.
Sucks to be you. Damn!
She's perfect.
They are perfect.
Shhhh!
So then, when you're done
making babies over there
come to my office.
- Hi John.
- It's Josh.
It's motherfucker. I don't care.
You maintain that you don't like her
like that right?
I don't.
Great! So what's the problem here then?
I just don't give out people's personal
details bro.
It's a number.
Fine, imagine me giving out your
number to a total stranger.
Is the stranger hot?
What are you two ladies arguing about?
He refuses to give me Celine's number.
- It's cool. I have it.
- No no no.
It's fine I'll talk to her okay?
Ah.
Patoranking world best yo watch this
Love confession
She's a heart breaker
She bend over back breaker
Steaming hot water vapor
I wanna date her
She's a heart breaker
She bend over back breaker
Steaming hot water vapor
I wanna date her
So tell me why you do me so?
So tell me why you do me so
Baby me nah go let you go
Girl me nah go let you go
So tell me why you do me so
Tell me why you do me so
Girl me nah go let you go
Bugu bugu Ha! Bug up
Phenomenal woman
- Thats true
- Mmm.
Jack Jack on the beat
Uhh say dare
- We got this bro.
- Baby boo say dare
We're the youngest firm ever nominated,
we run great campaigns
and we know what the market wants.
- Alright? Let's do this
- Alright.
Wooh!
You guys look so shocked tonight.
- How are you guys feeling?
- Aaah, nervous, a little.
Like winning!
- The energy
- That too, that too.
- You people are ready?
- Ready!
- Alright we'll see you guys inside.
- Alright.
They all look the fucking same.
Kamotho.
They gave it to Kamotho.
He still puts multi-ethnical families
on a billboard.
He doesn't deserve this.
Yeah, here it is. In my hands.
Congratulations.
Oh save it Josh.
Mmhm, bartender?
Please give me a glass of white wine
and give these two bitches
a bottle of tequila
and a lot of salt.
You know someone ought to
smack you across the face.
Come on, volunteer then.
I don't mind screwing
a little manicure
and dragging a little ass
across the floor.
After all, it's just a little micro penis.
Otis, let's walk please.
Walk please bro. No.
Joshua, my offer still stands
at the table.
Drop the dead weight.
Belinda.
- It's so nice to see you again.
- I imagine it is.
Uh, I'm sorry about the train
wreck of a meeting the other day.
- I thought it went well.
- And congratulations on your win.
They always give them to me every year.
It helps that I bankroll
the entire event.
Umm, your eccentric friend over there
has a point.
If you'll excuse me?
Hello.
- Hey.
- Hey!
You came.
Mmmmmm.
Hey, just in case.
Angel.
I know.
- Are you looking for someone?
- Mmm.
Hi Neema.
Don't play.
White wine with ice and yes the
bartender judged me.
The bartender can go fight her mother.
Shall we dance?
I didn't know you dance.
Yeah, I like to move swiftly.
Will you be okay?
- Yeah.
- Yeah?
- I'll be okay.
- Okay
Oh my god Josh, let me go, c'mon.
Fine.
So is that her?
Huh? Umm.
Baby!
You never mentioned you knew
Belinda Muli personally.
Miss Muli I'm such a great fan
of your work,
I basically grew up witnessing you.
That's so very kind of you dear
but who are you?
Uh, well. This is Neema Kaya.
She's assistant editor at OK Magazine.
Is that so?
Oh and this is Belinda,
I mean she needs no introduction
and she is also
New client at Olive Ridge.
- Oh my gosh!
- Wow!
I can't believe you never
mentioned this to me.
Uh, wow!
Hey.
Hi.
You're bummed you lost?
We were never going to win.
So I guess?
Absolutely.
Whoa! Hold up.
I'm sssI'm so sorry.
I think I read that all wrong.
No that's not it. I just don't like...
You know I don't like it when
my women are
- Are what?
- Easy.
- I'll just... I'll take a cab home.
- I'm just saying,
I think a woman should you know,
keep from giving it all up.
- How is a kiss giving it all up?
- On the first date? Come on Celine...
- that's usually a sign.
- A sign that
d'you know what? Don't answer that.
Oh, hey!
II didn't mean to offend you. Okay.
I'm just saying virtue is important to me.
And my virtue is connected to my vagina?
- Celine I'm just asking you to wait.
- No you're slut shaming.
- I didn't call you a slut.
- And you didn't have to. Just
Listen.
My worth is not directly proportional
to the number of balls
I've nested in my chin.
Hey Celine.
- Hey Celine!
- Fuck you Khalid!
All we ever do is fight and fuck Josh!
I don't know what you want from me.
Why was she even there?
You know you'll have to figure
your shit out
because I'm sick and tired
of fighting over this girl.
Look, you didn't wanna come.
Robin invited you but chose
a work assignment instead.
So what?
Now you don't want me to work?
What the actual fuck?
I can't keep doing this.
Umm, we realize that the magazine
has been suffering
over the last three months,
and unfortunately I do not know
what we can do to bring the numbers up.
Would you like to join us Ms Kaya?
Huh?
Last night was intense
and you did land that Belinda Muli
interview.
So that gets you a pass. One pass.
She's gotten a whole season
worth of passes.
Something important you'd like
to add Jacob?
No sir. Nothing.
Nothing is absolutely right.
As in you and this bunch
of middle-aged liabilities
have given me nothing
for my next month's issue.
You pretty much
shut down all our ideas.
They were stupid and underdeveloped.
Or we could run away with a
story about proposal
This again?
I'm sorry.
You've pitched this to me
three times sugar.
Now I like you,
so I'm just gonna go ahead
and give you some advice.
Why don't you gather your fucking ovaries
and ask him what he wants?
It's 2017. You're a smoking number.
And I don't understand what
you're doing around
a noncommittal fucktard.
Ask him what he wants. He'll say no.
Obviously because he's trash.
Then you move on.
Good meeting everyone.
Get the fuck out of my office.
Celine?
Yeah?
Umm
What, it can't wait?
I think you might want to take this.
Oh my godWhy?
Is everything okay?
Yes!
- Hello Hi.
- Hi Neema.
How are you Celine?
Caught you at a bad time?
No, no.
So whawhat's up?
I was thinking maybe we could
do something for Joshua's birthday.
Something intimate. Just close friends.
Aw! Yeah,
Yeah. I could even send you
some numbers if you'd like.
Uh, just the four of us.
- The four of us?
- Me, Josh, you, Khalid.
I saw you two together
at the awards.
- Yeah. Khalid... Khalid and I we are
- Oh no. It didn't work out?
Poor girl.
Yeah.
- There's nobody really?
- Of course...
Of course there's someone.
Of course. There's someone.
Great. Bring them.
I'll send you dates later on today.
Take care.
Yeah, so I was
Hello? Hello?
- There is no one, is there?
- Oh my gosh!
What is wrong with these boys?
- Can't they see how pretty you are?
- Open your mouth.
Nice
Nice.
Nice.
So how do you know Preeti?
Uh, her father and I
work together.
Nice family.
They're an exceptional bunch.
It's not her fault.
Huh?
Yeah. I insisted on the date.
She thought you might react this way.
No. no. It's fine.
Look.
I know I'm not
what you're looking for.
I'm not traditionally handsome
and you saw what I did to that soup.
But, I'd like to think I'm a good guy.
I suppose what I needed
was a night out with
some nice company.
Mmhm?
- So what do you do?
- See, my work is not that exciting.
I like what you ladies did
with the proposal.
Has everyone read this proposal?
Oh. Was I not supposed to?
No it's just
I'm afraid we might be overstretching.
My dear.
I have holdings in almost
every company around here.
I get pitched ideas every hour.
I know a good proposal when I see one.
That's what you tell all the girls.
The holding part, yes.
Did it work? Mmm?
- And?
- And nothing.
We had a great meal and then he went home.
So nothing at all?
Nothing, and...
- I know why you set me up with him.
- Shhh!
Well, you wouldn't speak
to me about the proposal
so I thought you'd listen
to a professional.
Mmhm.
- Things are going great like really great.
- Mmh, baby girl got life.
Hold up coz' it's about to get weird.
So the house was sexy.
Okay? Like goddamn!
Uhhuh.
So we get inside and he's
being all gentle,
and he's doing this thing with his tongue
around my neck.
Oh!
Then halfway through that
whole neck action
I started feeling some type of way.
Oh Lord! I know the feeling.
He doesn't even have grapes here?
Hmm. So cheap.
So I tell him
Uh, I think I'm going to go.
Why? Don't do this to me.
Red flag!
Right?
But then of course Celine
wants to negotiate consent.
Not tonight.
Come on. Why?
Because... I'm on my period.
You're not on your period.
Yeah, she tracks my cycle.
Don't even bother having that discussion;
it's a losing battle.
And thank you so much for
joining us today Ashley.
She's right I wasn't.
I just wanted to go home and
he then he wouldn't let me.
He wouldn't let you?
Show me.
Excuse me?
What?
I've seen a lot of girls in my time
and they've used that same excuse.
So prove it.
Show me.
Noo!
So did you?
Noo! I left.
So now you girls can understand
why I need a well-deserved break from men.
So men in general or just men
who are not Josh?
And that's not even the weirdest date
I've been on.
I'm telling you Nairobi, is a peanut.
Water for the table?
Sparkling or still?
- Sparkling.
- Still.
- Ok we'll just have...
- I'll get a sparkling.
How about we get both?
So, what are you
thinking of having?
Umm...
What, what did I say?
No it's nothing
it's just that she orders the same thing
every single time.
- Oh.
- Mmm.
Greek salad.
So, what will you guys have?
A salad for me please. Caesar.
Alright.
I'll have a stew.
Let me have some salad. Please.
Alright I'll have some chicken. Spicy.
And some fries.
Alright
So, how's the economy? Good? Bad?
I hear it's one way or the other.
Um, things are kind of
in between right now.
Mmm.
That's a good thing?
I guess it is. Yes.
Don't let the pretty face fool you.
She knows perfectly well how
the economy is going.
Oh! I don't doubt it.
So how did you two meet?
Um, well
Text.
Oh, I'm all for a modern
love story.
I read an article the other day that
Tinder is the new nightclub.
I suppose it is.
Um, Look, I'm not going to bash
traditional dating but
this works for me.
For us, I mean I literally have to
schedule my own meals
and this phenomenal woman
over here is running her own practice
and the world with those eyes.
The birthday boy is awfully quiet.
Huh?
Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday dear Josh
- Happy Birthday to you
- -Happy Birthday to me
Happy Birthday.
Yay! Let's cut the cake guys.
- Cut it cut it cut it...
- I thought she only had salad.
Wow! Your face is a salad.
- Birthday boy first.
- Please.
You know what I just remembered?
What?
This one. Maria.
Oh my god!
- Who's Maria?
- Poor Maria.
- It was just so
- Is she an old flame?
Oh there were flames involved.
Oh! That is cruel.
- I know.
- Cruel
But you ate that biryani.
You ate it! It was so good.
Who is Maria?
When we were younger.
Josh used to have a pet chicken
that he loved so much.
And then his parents made him
Christmas dinner!
That, that's actually cruel.
Isn't it just?
He didn't speak to his parents for like
what a month?
Josh?
Get the car. Get the car!
Where's the EpiPen? Neema?
It's okay, come on.
No nuts! You know this,
I know you know this.
I'm sorry.
You know he could have died?
I said I was sorry Celine.
You're his girlfriend,
you're supposed to take care of him.
It can't be that hard.
That was unfair. I didn't mean it.
Fuck you Celine.
I deserve that.
Don't pretend to give more of
a shit about him
now that you've got the upper hand.
What upper hand?
Look, it's just the two of us here.
Drop the act.
What are you talking about?
All I'm saying is you're supposed
to know better.
He told you on the first date
he's allergic.
What?
Now you know what we talk about
on our first date?
We're best friends Neema,
he tells me things.
Oh my god! You're in love with him.
And you know what?
He might love you back.
Did your best friend tell you that
we're getting married?
Yeah. I thought so.
It took him so long to get here.
You had your shot
and you ruined it.
- Josh and I have
- Oh no sugar, I'm talking about Kenneth.
You bet on the wrong horse.
So, the coffee is exceptionally bad
but I'm...
sure you won't mind.
Thanks. I think we should go so...
I'll just go and say a quick goodbye.
- Richard
- It's, it's alright.
Look I'm not going to pretend
like it doesn't completely suck
In another life maybe.
So this is where
the magic happens?
I suppose so.
Smaller than I expected.
I get a lot of done here.
I bet.
- Hey!
- Hi.
You okay?
Yeah, why?
Well, you've been particularly silent.
It's been a particularly hard day.
I know. Your anniversary with Kenneth.
- How did you?
- But we talk about everything, remember?
Did I do something wrong?
Celine, we haven't spoken since my
disastrous birthday party,
which you saved my life by the way.
- Did I do something wrong?
- There's nothing wrong, seriously.
- There's nothing wrong.
- Well I, I'll just... just go in.
Josh?
Yeah?
Is there anything you want
to tell me?
Like what?
Just forget it.
So you just disappeared?
I was tired.
Come on Celine.
Josh, now is not a really good time
so just leave.
- I didn't know where to start.
- What are you talking about?
When you asked me if
I had something to say,
I didn't know where to start.
I didn'tI don't know where to start.
You've been here, you've always been here,
what if I fuck it up?
And you're not here anymore,
I don't wanna know what that feels like.
So that's why you decided to ask
Neema to marry you?
Like that would fix things.
What?
- Noo!
- What? She showed me the ring Josh.
Turn off the lights pretty baby
Put on some make love song
Turn down the noise pretty darling
Play me some Sauti Sol
Uh! Neema?
In here.
I have horny
Let me whisper in your ear
Baby get me right and clear
Until you say aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiii
Babe? Um, what's going on?
What do you think?
Beautiful right?
I know you've been thinking about
how to do this and
that's why you and me make such
a powerful team.
You get me and I get you...
I'm gonna cut you off right there.
- What's all this?
- I'm proposing to you silly.
Well, you're actually proposing to me
but semantics.
Um.
Go on. Ask me. Ask me.
What the hell? Yes!
- Of course I'll marry you.
- Ah.
I called it.
I said this girl was crazy
and then you guys,
- you called me anti-feminist.
- I just ran.
You know she's gonna burn your clothes
like that's happening.
No, she's more of a beach girl.
Yeah, I see that
and I'm not taking you to buy new clothes.
Josh, what are we doing?
I don't know.
You're only here because you're
scared of your girlfriend.
I'm here because I'm scared
of losing you.
You left and, I couldn't breathe.
Josh, no no.
It's fine.
Look it's
I'm tired of being scared.
I've loved you since we were five.
What?
That just sounds so wrong.
Yeah. I heard it the moment I said it.
You spent the night with her.
Didn't you?
You know, you two will never be happy.
She doesn't know you I mean,
really know you.
Not like I do.
You're actually insane.
That may be true,
but so are you.
I know the kind of crazy you are, heck!
I was even ready to accept it.
I didn't need some kind of divine push
to go for what I wanted,
and maybe it didn't work out.
But at least I know who I am.
You don't love her Josh.
Not the way you think you do anyway.
You're just hoping she'll help you
keep your demons in check.
At least I'll sleep easy,
'cause mine are in the open.
Call me when yours are ready
to come out and play.
I honestly don't wanna feel like
I'm swimming in the bottom
of the refrigerator.
Ah! These SA trips are too clich.
Why don't you go to the coast?
You have unnecessary class!
Don't listen to her.
Let me know if you do any of those
umgrand wine farm trips.
I'm thinking maybe I can
have my wedding down there.
Oh, and your husband is gonna love it,
cause his first miracle was
turning water into wine.
Shade!
Sorry I'm late.
Huh!
What?
Argh! My head hurts.
Let me get this right.
So, Neema went ahead and bought
herself an engagement ring?
And said it was from Josh?
And then she went ahead
and proposed to herself?
- That's correct.
- Seriously?
This is the devil at work.
I'm telling you guys it's the
devil working,
you just need to pray about this
People like this are just gonna come and
I know this look.
There's more, right? So spill it.
Spill the tea girl.
Okay, so Josh and I
- we finally...
- What?
Oh my god!
Okay, my money? Please.
My money, my money, my money
Woooo!
What's going on?
What's going on?
Okay, we kind of had a bet like
- if you're gonna do it or not.
- Wow! Wow.
So, how was it?
Judy,
I know you owe me five. Ebu give it to me
before I cut you in the name of Jesus.
Gambling is a sin.
- Oh, is it now?
- Yeah.
Let's see what you
will do when I wipe your brows...
Okay fine fine.
- So how was it? So?
- How was it?
So what?
Are you and Josh dating now?
It was just sex - and I need to
use the bathroom.
Eh!
Excuse me? Excuse me?
Please give us the menu.
You do realize that she left?
She's not coming back,
because the bathroom is the other way.
Oh my god!
Music
Celine?
I still think it's cute how
you can't drink hot coffee.
And you know what's not cute?
A burnt tongue.
That's what?
I heard you got that big client?
Not quite.
Uh, there are still a few things
that I need to tie up.
And you?
Uh, the expansion happening?
Preeti threatened to release
pictures of me
in primary school so...
- The one's with the braces? And the acne?
- Yeh.
Oh.
So you see why I had to cave?
Mmhmm.
My street cred was in jeopardy.
I hear your girlfriend got a promotion?
She did.
That piece she wrote about the
proposal went viral.
- Oh.
- Mmhm.
Still crazy?
Yes, absolutely.
Hes a boy next door weh deh
slowly steal my heart away
Baby by the way
I hear seh you lookin for a sexy gyal
The kind weh fi take away your fever yeah
The kind we fi rub your belly
all night long
music
Help me sing help me sing sing
On the down low Ive been lovin eminado
Tangu enzi za maziwa ya Nyayo
Im ready to love you
from January to December
- Hold my hand and don't let me go, no
- Baby lets roll out
Wanna have a conversation
maybe roll one
Take you somewhere higher
give you more life
Ive been really really
feeling your flavour
Ooh, when we roll one
Ill give you everything
you need more ah
A see seh you deh like to
kick it on the low ah
I know you wanna get
a taste of my flavour
- Boy next door
- Its you
It's a nice surprise Josh.
I wasn't expecting you here.
I think Im crazy for you
Leaving my homies for you
Coming home early to you
- Im going mad over you
- Mad over mad over
Mad over
On the down low Ive been
lovin eminado
Heeey.
Care for a nightcap?
Always.
Wanna have
A conversation maybe roll one
Take you somewhere
higher give you more life
Ooh, when we roll one
Ill give you everything
you need more ah
A see seh you deh like
to kick it on the low ah
I know you wanna get a taste
of my flavour sana Boy next door
So accept, if you man is a whore
he's a whore.
He's clumsy, he just keeps falling
into ladies.
Ladies, meet Richard.
Richard, welcome
to the deep end.
Hello ladies. I wish I knew I was coming
to meet a group of gorgeous women.
I would have dressed better.
Oh, really?
Love the way the suit hugs you.
Turn around, we see what we're
working with.
Okay.
Richie Richie, me likey likey.
Richie, Rich?
That nickname is probably going to stick,
isn't it?
Yeah it's best not to fight it.
Forgive TK, I mean.
She's going through a dry spell.
See I recently got married...
Shut up Robin.
No one wants to hear about your marriage.
Are you the only one who's married!?
You're going to scare this man away.
Quite the contrary actually. May I?
Sure, come to mama
Thank you.
Do you know about our Lord and Savior,
Jesus Christ?
Huh!
I could introduce you if you'd like.
You're on your own.
II have..um
- Good good good.
- Um...
But I'm more inclined to the
ways of the Buddha.
For me the absence of doctrine
- seems to be a much more natural state
- I like him already.
So do I.
Oh yeah.
Run go meet her dad
You don wanna do
Well this is Sauti Sol