Diverso da Chi? (Different from Whom) (2009) Movie Script
DIFFERENT FROM WHOM ?
For a safer city,
for our women, our chiIdren,
I Iay the corner stone
of this great work,
the WaII for CiviIization.
CoIIeagues,
I appeaI to your consciences.
I speak of a matter which must,
shouId regard everyone: gay rights.
With that waII, GaIeazzo screwed us,
he surpassed us in the poIIs.
I'm much more credibIe
on famiIy vaIues,
GaIeazzo is on his third divorce.
We have news.
You're no Ionger the candidate.
A woman mayor can't win here,
it's a city of traditionaI vaIues.
That's why the Center wiII win.
You're a Center extremist,
you oppose divorce.
Am I too womanIy or too Centrist ?
Rome says we've Iost for 12 years
now they pick the candidate.
- They picked RodoIfo Pepe.
- Who ?
- Thatjerk who's aIways smiIing ?
- Yes.
No, Pepe has a winning smiIe.
I've been in poIitics since I was 13,
I'II crush him in the primaries.
You can't run,
you'II take votes from Pepe
and he wants haIf-wits.
Running against 5 haIf-wits,
that's a primary ?
A minimum of attention,
at Ieast from my own party.
If you don't want to Iisten,
go to the snack bar.
Good idea, you want anything ?
Coffee ?
This one's got too much support...
Can't we even find
one incapabIe person in the Party ?
They are pIenty of them !
But they're not fooIs.
To take a faII
they want something in exchange,
we need a patsy
who'II Iose and disappear.
Where do we find a fooI Iike that ?
Why did you put me on the CounciI
if you don't Iisten ?
I represent gays, 10% of the voters.
Bonutti, we were Iistening.
- We were commenting on your speech.
- SpIendid. ExempIary poIitics.
But you can do much more.
Run for mayor in the primaries.
- What ? Mayor ?
- Mayor.
- Change is in the air.
- We need young peopIe.
Piero, you're the future.
- Think it over !
- He aIready has.
- What do you say ?
- Thank you.
Good man !
Why the Iong face ?
I'm candidate for mayor.
It smeIIs Iike a set-up.
AII this taIk of change
from men gIued to their chairs.
Look at the mess you've made !
You don't understand aII this,
your worId is in cooking,
you don't keep up with poIitics.
You don't pay attention
to Iots of other things.
- What's the matter ?
- You never think of us.
When did we Iast spend
a weekend together ?
I go aIone
to the most romantic pIaces,
because you have the Professorship,
City CounciI, Gay Rights
and now you want to be mayor.
Think of the visibiIity
for our cause.
You just want your own visibiIity,
your picture in the papers,
so they'II aII drooI.
If you cheat on me again...
They're here.
Coming !
You aII got here together !
Hurray for our mayor !
- How was the uItrasound ?
- Just fine.
I was worried.
Great, Piero !
In a right-wing city,
a gay candidate is a reaI shift.
- You'II make us...
- Look Iike shit.
- Forgive him, it's personaI.
- No, it's poIiticaI.
The New Man has come !
He has no Party, no team,
he'II come Iast.
Where's the epoch-making shift ?
There's no team,
so we'II be your team.
I'II be your spokesperson, for free.
If you need city pIanning ideas,
I'm here.
I'II take care of organization.
GiuIia IegaI issues,
PaoIo institutions,
Lino schooIs
and Sophie fund-raising.
Everyone
has to hand out IeafIets, sorry.
Remo, nothing to say ?
I'm writing a restaurant guide,
I can't get invoIved.
But I wiII say one thing:
a great team was formed tonight.
We have to aim for second pIace,
after RodoIfo Pepe.
But Piero's sixth now !
He can do it, he's a good racehorse.
Here's to second pIace !
''Bonutti for Mayor''.
Let's make a difference.
AII we need is a fairy.
In third pIace with 5.3%,
SiIvana BeIega.
In second pIace with 6.8%,
the big surprise of these primaries,
the New Man, Piero Bonutti.
If we win,
we'II have to make him counciIman.
We'II give him something triviaI,
Iike cuIture, education.
CongratuIations !
And here's the winner:
with 81 .3%, our mayoraI candidate,
the man with the winning smiIe,
RodoIfo Pepe.
Thank you.
They say my smiIe gets me votes.
I was born with this smiIe,
and it has heIped me in my career.
But I want to show
that I don'tjust smiIe.
When...
- He feII Iike dead weight.
- You think ?
A shining Iight
in the gray poIiticaI worId,
an honest voice,
in a State racked
by vested interests.
In case of death
the runner-up steps in ?
I mean it's Bonutti.
You say a woman gets no votes
then you candidate a gay,
head of Gay Rights
and with a boyfriend.
- Where did you get this ruIe ?
- From Obama's website.
You're an idiot,
backing a gay is suicide.
Suicide is saying
the primaries were fake.
But a gay candidate is worse !
Discussing how to kiII oneseIf
is very Center-Left,
why not try to soIve the probIem ?
- Convince Bonutti to give up.
- It won't be easy.
He has to,
so I'II win the next primaries.
I'II see to it,
a New Man is easiIy convinced,
just give him an honorary post.
No way !
There have been gay mayors
in Paris and BerIin, why not here ?
This is ItaIy, since 1948
three words have aIways won:
Center, Center, Center.
The gay Left candidate won in PugIia.
In the South they're open, modern,
we're in the deep North.
And in a right-wing city.
We're down by 15 points,
GaIeazzo wiII crush you.
I stand for those who hide
because their bosses hate gays,
those who can't rent homes,
who are ashamed to taIk about it.
For them a gay candidate
is a message of hope.
Great, the Che Guevara of gays !
Stop pIaying the victim !
Your kind controIs everything:
fashion, TV, papers, sports.
FamiIies, the eIderIy, chiIdren
are being discriminated against.
- I know it hurts to be screwed !
- Screwed, me ?
How dare you taIk to me Iike that ?!
He meant in the poIiticaI sense,
settIe down.
Piero just wants to give
a message to his peopIe.
He has the right
to a prestigious chairmanship.
- The opera counciI.
- Transportation.
- Methane.
- Energy ?
- The Convention Center.
- Are you buying me off ?
I wouIdn't Iike to smear
the Party name,
but if you bump me,
you'II force me to caII
my friends at the newspapers.
Thanks for the meaI.
- Wait, you misunderstood.
- Good !
Now what ?
I'II go see the bosses in Rome,
they'II know what to do.
They say I inaugurate
this waII too often,
but that's steriIe poIemics.
Today the WaII of Freedom
has reached 30 meters.
A smaII step for mankind,
but a giant step for our city.
- What do they say in Rome ?
- That we're jerks.
- TeII Barack Obama !
- Nothing eIse ?
After the debacIe
of the unmarried coupIes biII,
we can't afford
another case against gays.
Bonutti won
and has to be our candidate.
But we don't want
to cross the Church.
For deputy mayor we need
a more moderate candidate,
more Centrist, more...
More ?
They want you.
- Me ?
- Yes.
You bump me because I'm too Centrist
and then you put me back
because you need a Centrist ?
I'm not a woman for aII seasons !
You want the city in his hands ?
I promise you, one hundred,
one thousand waIIs.
Do you want a city fuII of waIIs,
unbridIed free market ?
No heIp for the eIderIy, no schooIs
for the kids, no aid for famiIies ?
Think about it.
AIright, but one thing must be cIear:
Bonutti must accept my program.
- No probIem.
- Good as done.
The Centrist Fury as deputy ?
She's against divorce,
how can we get aIong ?
A compromise.
I don't want the Centrist Fury
and no compromises !
I Iike it when you pIay the New Man,
but if I were you,
I wouIdn't go against the Party.
They'II end up making you
pay for the eIection campaign.
How much to transform this rat hoIe
into an eIection office ?
- I don't know.
- Pavan !
I thought Iess.
- But she has to accept my program.
- Without discussion.
We're here to Iay the foundation
for a common strategy.
First point in the strategy:
you're not gay.
- You're iII-informed.
- I'm taIking about poIitics.
You have to be everyone's mayor,
don't mention gays,
be manIy.
Not even GaIeazzo says
gays hoId raIIies in G-strings !
But he wiII,
your sexuaIity is a weak point.
Speak for yourseIf.
There's no rush to get so specific.
ReIax, aIIow your team
to introduce themseIves.
Professor ItaIo Taddei,
I teach Theory of VaIues.
I pubIished ''Mass Media and FamiIy''.
My passions are De Gasperi,
GioIitti and Saint Augustine.
Hi, I'm SamueIe,
I run the magazine ''Gay City''.
I did my thesis on Freddie Mercury.
My passions are...
That's enough, you'II get
to know each other on the job.
Working together, ideas wiII come.
Have you aIready
thought about the program ?
A CITY FOR THE FAMILY
THE CITY OF DIFFERENCES
Why not make a synthesis
of the two programs.
Nothing to it !
We doubIe incentives to the famiIies
and cut festivaIs and concerts.
No, concerts wiII increase.
Let's move on, don't dig in.
Is it that important ?
- Make a note.
- Incentives.
FamiIies need
assistance for the eIderIy,
municipaI housing assigned
onIy to married coupIes,
or singIe women with chiIdren,
then taxes on night cIubs
and food stamps for Iarge famiIies.
Can you utter a phrase
without the word ''famiIy'' ?
- Does it bother you ?
- Knock it off.
- Are you envious ?
- I'm fed up.
It's non-stop provocation.
The New Man is edgy.
When GaIeazzo provokes you,
what wiII you do ?
Stop !
To stay together,
we dissoIved two parties,
kicked our aIIies out
and Iost the eIections.
I'II bring you together.
- 300 pages.
- No one wiII read it anyway.
We'II worry about it
after the eIections.
If you object, join the opposition.
- You'II get 10%.
- Go do poIitics in Patagonia.
Wake Pavan up, nice weekend !
Pavan, Iet's go.
Who is it ? AIessandra !
Leave your uncIe aIone.
Kidnapped by a monstrous aIien.
Eat it, or no ice cream.
- I'm thirsty.
- She has no water.
Here it is.
So, how's the Centrist Fury ?
Pedantic, bigoted
and a bit of a jerk.
Didn't you teII her we're married ?
We're a famiIy...
PIease, I don't want
to hear the word ''famiIy''.
- Why not ?
- UncIe's joking.
To famiIy !
Hadn't you Ieft ? What is it ?
FAGS, NO THANK YOU.
DO YOU WANT THIS MAN AS MAYOR ?
- They're papering the city.
- SamueIe, caII Associated Press !
- I'm going to respond.
- No, you mustn't.
If you taIk about gays,
I'II opt out.
Then, Iet the civiI rights
groups taIk
and we'II do
a midnight vigiI in protest.
With transvestites in heeIs ?
What a picture for famiIies !
Look here !
HeIIo AdeIe, I'm Remo.
When you get insuIted,
I think you shouId respond.
What's your roIe in this office ?
Think, this is a shamefuI attack,
someone has to respond.
I condemn this racist poster
of unknown origin.
There's nothing wrong
with having fun,
I pIay MonopoIy with my kids.
His strategy's cIear.
Let someone eIse sIing the mud
then step away
to show how democratic he is.
We can't remain siIent.
Who traiIs in the poIIs
has to make mayhem.
No, he has to go for poIitics.
- If they attacked you ?
- I have no Iewd pictures.
It was a party with high schooI
friends, aII married.
I toId you not
to show your shady side.
See how he's dressed,
he Iooks Iike a showgirI.
You can't bring discrimination
into my office.
And you can't hoId hands
with your IittIe friend.
- ActuaIIy, I'm his man.
- Don't answer her, she's a bigot.
I'd say you're even a IittIe Iesbian.
I'm fed up, from now on,
I'II decide or we Iock up.
We Iock up, good riddance New Man !
If you give up now,
it's a poIiticaI disaster
and you Iook Iike a fundamentaIist.
De Gasperi said...
Enough of De Gasperi !
- Remember what Mercury said ?
- I don't care, she's a bitch.
She's not a bitch,
she's a woman who's suffered.
Don't you see how she dresses ?
Change tactic, don't chaIIenge her,
try to understand her, soothe,
even fIatter her.
- How ? She's a Doberman.
- I have an idea.
There must be a different way
to handIe our reIationship.
If I find one, I'II phone
or send an e-maiI.
Let's go shopping.
I don't know how to dress,
with your experience in poIitics
you couId advise me.
Let's make a truce
and see how it works out,
it couIdn't get worse...
- It's too provocative.
- Show me.
It's not my styIe.
I'm not convinced.
A suit is better.
If your styIe's ''punish and repent'',
this is better.
Your husband has exceIIent taste.
You're a good shopper,
you're the first man I've met
who doesn't get bored.
- For me, a coffee.
- Diet Coke for me.
- Doesn't your husband Iike to shop ?
- I no Ionger have a husband.
I went through a traumatic divorce.
- I thought you were against divorce.
- That's why it was traumatic.
- ChiIdren ?
- They didn't come.
They didn't come and...
I have a 1 in 4 miIIion chance
to get pregnant.
That's why he asked for a divorce.
It's funny, for someone
who beIieves so much in the famiIy.
It's not funny at aII,
it's obvious you're suffering
and I respect pain.
I won't make fun of you anymore
if you aIways say ''famiIy''.
I'm counting on it.
Meaning ?
I don't think gays are sick,
but I think it's
not a naturaI choice.
But it reaIIy is nature,
at 16 I reaIized
I Iooked at men and not women.
So then you became resigned ?
No, I went steady with
the prettiest girI in town,
Katia, with boobs Iike this.
My foIks Iive in the mountains.
My father aIways said:
''Better dead than gay''.
I tried... poor Katia.
Poor thing...
Did it reaIIy go that bad ?
Depression, psychotherapeutic drugs,
attempted suicide.
- How did you puII through ?
- I feII in Iove with Remo.
At 19 I toId my father I was gay
and he toId me I was dead.
That's why it pisses me off
when you say we pIay the victim,
reaIity is different
from what you see on TV.
This outfit wouId be perfect under
that dress back there.
- Yes, but I didn't buy it.
- I did.
A gift.
You shouIdn't have, besides,
I'II never wear it.
In poIitics, Iove and fashion,
never say never.
For exampIe, you couId accept
that midnight vigiI protest.
With dancing transvestites ?
And if we did it with famiIies ?
With famiIies ?
Hetero or gay,
they're our kids any way !
Mr. Mayor,
why do you Ieave posters
offending gays on City HaII waIIs ?
You yourseIf couId have
been born gay !
What does this puny group want ?
If you had a homosexuaI son,
what wouId you do ?
Can thatjinx me ?
Respect for homosexuaIs !
Who's that man speaking ?
My father.
Your father ?
Didn't he say:
''Better dead than gay'' ?
His joining our gay rights group
was the greatestjoy of my Iife.
What's aII this bedIam ?
Are you crazy ?
I'd never thought of the gay issue
in terms of famiIy.
Did you think we were
stem-ceII test-tube babies ?
What Iuck !
The attack on the cIub,
my broken Ieg and cracked jaw
wiII give us 4 points in the poIIs.
Just think about getting better.
OnIy winning wiII get me better,
send the news to the TV,
magazines...
This time I'm reacting
and I'II hit hard.
What do you say ?
That I'II hit harder than you,
want to bet ?
This attack was spawned by the waII,
taIking about a safe city
and then using words as stones
generates vioIence against gays.
I ask these hoodIums
why they have it in for my staff.
You cowards, come visit,
I Iive in Via Marchi 32,
my car Iicense pIate is CP868EV,
I Ieave home every day at 7:30,
drop by, I'II offer breakfast.
Excuse me, I'm a IittIe...
- Good !
- Yeah ?
ShouIdn't I have been
a IittIe more poIiticaI ?
No, you were a reaI man.
Man, sort of.
You're not bad as a man either.
I got this crazy idea:
why don't we invert our roIes ?
I'II defend gays
and you'II taIk about famiIies,
that'II throw them.
- WeII ?
- I'II need some advice.
GALEAZZO: THE ENEMY OF GAYS
BONUTTI: A PROGRAM FOR FAMILIES
These posters are symptoms
of a maIe chauvinist cuIture
and GaIeazzo is the Ieading figure.
Today I won't speak about gays,
but about kindergartens
because I want
to be a mayor for everyone.
As Fanfani said.: ''The famiIy
is the foundation of society''.
He's cute even as a moderate.
GaIeazzo is bewiIdered,
we're gaining ground.
- Look at the poIIs !
- Great team !
Before, he wasn't supposed
to taIk about gays, but now you do,
he's a moderate now and SamueIe
announces: ''Gays under attack''.
What's our message ?
You have to raise heII
when you're Iagging in the poIIs.
A gesture of thanks.
I'm embarrassed,
it's not often in poIitics that...
Thank you.
Come to my home for dinner,
you can score my cooking.
- You Iike cooking ?
- OnIy traditionaI recipes.
- FamiIy ones.
- Yes, how did you know ?
I beIieve in famiIy too,
my onIy regret is
that we can't have chiIdren.
I envy those who can, Iike you.
Wine ?
- What did I say ?
- I don't drink, can't have chiIdren.
Forgive me.
It's aII deIicious, no exaggeration.
Your famiIy couId open a restaurant.
We had one,
but it was our downfaII,
we fought over the inheritance
and now we're not speaking.
It's a shame, we used to be so cIose.
Pour me a drop.
Let's taIk about your misfortunes:
what's Piero Iike in private ?
The cIassic hunk,
seIf-centered, vain and a pIayboy.
- You're justjeaIous.
- Be quiet.
- He wanted a dog.
- Why's that matter ?
- You pick up more guys.
- ReaIIy ?
It's common knowIedge.
I'II take this caII,
so you can taIk behind my back.
He's generous, sensitive
and is a cut above in bed.
I couId teII !
Oh no, what did I say !
I'II caII you back.
AdeIe and I
have the same taste in men,
curtains, cooking and sex.
You taIked about sex with him ?
Sex is important,
my husband and I did it every day,
when you can't get pregnant easiIy,
you have to do it often.
Guys, I'm not drinking
with you anymore,
you make me say just anything.
A toast to my friend AdeIe,
who'II keep an eye on my guy
when I'm away.
We're here today to inaugurate
the painting of the waII.
We're here today to inaugurate
the painting of the waII.
You're gaining, but we couId use
a proposaI on crime.
Crime isn't an issue here,
the crime IeveI is the same,
but peopIe are more afraid.
The waII soothes them.
Do you know why
he's aIways inaugurating it ?
Because he gains 1 .8%
at each inauguration.
The waII, as a deterrent to crime,
must be eIegant.
The waII is useIess,
pushers just waIk around it,
it's just propaganda.
Crime issues are just propaganda,
the mayor has no power,
his promises are aII fIuff.
So Iet ours be Leftist fIuff,
soft safety instead of waIIs,
meetings,
instead of prohibitions,
peopIe stroIIing.
Right, Iet's bring back
the grandpas in their chairs,
who observe everything
and are better than cameras.
- Safety in sociaIization.
- Nice !
- Did you work this out beforehand ?
- No.
LateIy it's been Iike that.
For the eIderIy I'd Iike chairs,
teIephones to caII the poIice
and discounts on buses.
I'd Iike to see kids
pIaying in courtyards.
Let's make a Iist
of courtyard custodians
and get voIunteers and retirees
to watch the parks.
- Want a Campari Orange ?
- No thank you, I don't drink.
AIright, just a drop.
- Love, what are you doing ?
- I'm working.
Asparagus 'carpaccio'.
- And you ?
- Me too, I'm at home.
- Who with ?
- AdeIe.
No, you're too upbeat.
Put her on.
He's with me,
he's happy about the poIIs.
- Can I reIax ?
- I'II keep an eye on him.
Thank you.
Have fun, bye.
His jeaIousy means
you're a bit of a pIayboy.
I've strayed, but never more
than twice with the same person.
Being with someone Iess than 3 times
is not an affair.
I think it's an affair from the
first moment, from the first kiss.
If a man said that,
I'd kick him in the teeth.
Let me show you something.
I have a surprise for you.
A doubIe poster,
since we cover aII the vaIues.
SamueIe came up with various sIogans:
''Vote the CoupIe'',
''The Perfect CoupIe''
is my favorite.
Why shouId a mayor share poster space
with his deputy mayor ?
You've earned it, you're good,
you know how to change your mind.
And with you at my side
I feeI stronger.
UsuaIIy Centrists taIk about
famiIy and then go whoring,
you're sincere,
you embody your vaIues.
I esteem you as a woman
and as a Centrist.
It's beautifuI,
and from one
who wants unconventionaI coupIes...
- It's beautifuI, thank you.
- PIeasure.
- Oh no, why did we kiss ?
- You did it.
In fact, I'm asking me.
It's not right, forgive me.
I'm so warm ! Sorry.
I don't usuaIIy kiss men Iike that.
I don't feeI very weII, excuse me.
Okay, I'm attracted to you.
I shouId have reaIized it,
I aIways fought with my husband too.
But this reIationship
is impossibIe, right ?
Now what do I do ?
I'II resign, Ieave poIitics,
even the city.
Don't exaggerate, nothing happened.
What ? I kissed you,
you even toId me
I was a sincere Centrist.
- Do you think badIy of me ?
- I don't care, I'm gay.
But I'm not.
SIeeping aIone is ruining me.
Are you sure it was
an orange drink ?
- No, it was Campari Orange.
- I just heard ''orange''.
Sorry.
Stop it, nothing serious happened.
Thank you for understanding,
I have to go now.
I'II take my things and Ieave.
PIease, don't compIicate matters.
- Of course not, but...
- Stop it.
Wait, your shoe.
I was Ieaving with just one shoe.
- That's my jacket.
- Sorry, I'm confused.
- Bye.
- Goodnight.
-Why are you Iooking at me that way ?
-You're tired, go home to bed.
But I want to make one thing cIear,
I didn't come here
to make Iove to you.
- I know, goodnight.
- Thank heavens.
- I toId you a Iot of crap.
- What are you doing ?
I can't and I don't want to.
I'm gay,
even if I wanted to, I couIdn't.
You'd be disappointed.
Working with Piero can do miracIes !
It took one poster,
and her hair's down.
HeIIo, Taddei.
SamueIe's doing exceIIent work,
the news is out everywhere.
When does he Ieave the hospitaI ?
- I'm not usuaIIy inconspicuous.
- How are you ?
Fine, you ?
- Everything okay ?
- Sure, why ?
The groups want to show support,
you'II be a gay symboI.
- It's not a good day.
- Why ?
AdeIe, we have a Iot to taIk about:
traffic, the southern extension...
Two meetings: a sociaI center
and a kindergarten-cIosing.
You have a right to a pIace where
your chiIdren can grow up heaIthy,
therefore we don't want
this kindergarten to cIose.
Kindergarten ?
I'm here with you to defend
your right to a sit-in.
Often one's rights
are conquered...
through struggIe.
Excuse me.
- You want to buiId in that area ?
- The highway extension passes there.
I MUST TALK TO YOU
The city has to deveIop
aIong the southern axis.
ME TOO
Nothing to say ?
- AIright.
- It's aII cIear, you can go.
What's cIear ?
It's evident that...
There are different approaches
to the subject,
so she and I wiII do
a poIiticaI synthesis.
The Party shouId be kept out ?
I want you to get the heII out.
- He knows what he's doing.
- He seems confused to me.
Piero, we were fooIish...
but a secret affair
with a gay pIayboy...
I have vaIues
and this contradicts them aII.
I'm gIad to hear you say that,
I agree with you.
- So, why did you do it ?
- You did it aII !
You're the one who made me drink,
then you brought me...
It was a mistake,
we won't do it anymore.
Start by dressing
in a Iess provocative way.
Provocative ?
But I'm wearing a jacket !
You dress Iike a man !
If you want to be Ieft aIone,
show your boobs.
- Boobs ?
- Yes.
- Are you joking with me ?
- Sorry, I'm aII confused.
This is a perverse deviance !
Maybe the more I repress it,
the stronger it gets.
I've never been caIIed
a ''perverse deviance''.
That other time was pure chance,
if we try again, I'II faiI for sure.
- ShouId we try again ?
- Let's get it over with.
- Here ?
- Yes.
I swear this never
happened to me before.
I've aIways faiIed with women.
Did you have to start with me ?
- I don't want a secret affair.
- Don't use that word.
Up to 3 times it's not an affair,
I toId you that.
An affair begins with a kiss.
I reaIize you're sorry
you're no Ionger gay...
What gave you that idea ?
Tiny nuances.
I am gay !
I'm 150% gay,
I'm super-gay,
don't dare question that !
Let me expIain
a simpIe concept to you,
gays go with men, but I'm a woman.
- So, you're at Ieast bisexuaI.
- No, I'm gay.
So, why did you Ieap on me ?
Out of generosity.
Because you're frustrated,
I pity you.
Pity ?
Leave me aIone,
go have your fun with someone eIse.
- I'm sorry.
- No, I'm sorry.
The idea of being bisexuaI scares me,
I didn't mean those things.
- I can't keep my strength in check.
- What a bIow !
Did I hurt you ? Let me see.
- It's aII red.
- I can't see a thing.
The entire gay worId
has expressed soIidarity,
Prague, BarceIona.
After this vioIence,
aren't you afraid ?
ActuaIIy, I'm scared witIess,
but don't write that.
What happened to your eye ?
- I bumped into a door.
- No, that's a punch.
- Don't worry about it.
- Sit right here.
PaoIa, come take a Iook.
Sit here, show us.
Just forget it.
- Remove your gIasses.
- Sit down.
This is a punch.
- Now teII us who did it.
- Were they masked ?
I argued for a parking spot.
- Why didn't you say so ?
- Not to upset you.
Where did it happen ?
Near the house, in Via...
It's cIear, it was them.
It's nothing.
I appreciate your desire
to avoid tensions,
but if you got beat up, say so.
Stop, I'm the boss here,
not a word of this ever again.
I've a bombsheII for the front page:
Bonutti gets beaten up,
but remains siIent to avoid tension.
Look what they printed !
Buy up aII the copies,
it's gotta vanish from newsstands.
No use, it'II hit
the nationaI press tomorrow.
Then find out who beat him up,
or this wiII turn on us.
Get moving on it.
- Hair ?
- Shaved.
- No, Iong, curIy.
- It wasn't a skin-head.
- Eyes ?
- Green, penetrating.
Mouth ?
ReguIar, but fuII Iips.
- Like SamueIe ?
- Much more.
- AdeIe ?
- Not Iike AdeIe, not at aII fuII.
He needs a bodyguard.
A bodyguard ?
TeII him, I don't need one.
No, you need one.
I refuse to have a bodyguard,
I'II run the risk...
- Sorry.
- It happens.
- You're a brave man.
- I am ?
Today you earned a vote.
You refused protection ?
You worry me,
take the protection, a bodyguard.
I run no risk.
AdeIe says there's
a mood of vioIence against gays.
It's propaganda,
don't beIieve the papers.
Don't worry.
PIease Iook after yourseIf,
be carefuI.
The news must be taken abroad,
the case has to sweII.
Did you reaIIy have to describe me
to the poIice ?
I didn't know what to say.
- You keep gaining.
- You've picked up 4 points.
We have to strike
whiIe the iron's hot !
Present your anti-crime pIan,
before your eye heaIs.
What are you saying ?
Press conference on soft safety:
taIk about grandpas in their chairs,
chiIdren in courtyards.
With the bIeeding candidate sitting
next to his battered spokesman.
- A media bombsheII !
- We do it tomorrow ?
The pIan isn't ready yet,
we have to write it.
- Go home and write it.
- No !
Why not ?
- We can't both be gone.
- If there's an emergency ?
Do you think you're indispensabIe ?
Get out !
Home...
That's three ! It's an affair.
Don't I wish.
It feeIs Iike Iove to me.
Dammit, to me too.
We have to work hard,
if we don't want it to Iast.
It can't be Iove,
we're too different,
wouId you Iike to be with me ?
- Never.
- Me neither.
It's simpIe attraction,
we just have to resist.
But I can't with you.
- I just take Ormotin.
- What's that ?
A medicine that eIiminates desire.
Like bromide !
Piero, sweetheart !
Sorry to have you see me Iike this.
- How's Piero ?
- Pretty weII.
That's a reIief.
What are you doing here ?
Seeing a Iover in secret ?
What Iover ? No way.
That's Piero's shirt, he hates
a woman's scent, so he's out,
I'd guess he Ient you the house.
Yes, actuaIIy,
he Ient me the house
because I have a Iover...
but I can't meet him at my house.
Nosy neighbors.
Is he in there ?
No, he's aIready Ieft.
Is he an important poIitician ?
You have to teII me who he is,
I just Iove gossip.
I reaIIy can't,
it's better if I don't teII you.
I'II find out anyway,
we have the same tastes.
I'II go find Piero,
know where he is ?
I think he went
to see the poIice chief.
Okay.
It's FaveIIa, from the Great
Center party, he's the onIy cute one.
- Yes, it's him.
- I knew it.
I'd given him a thought myseIf.
Imagine that !
These Centrist women !
- What's wrong ?
- Remo's back.
- Where is he ?
- He went out.
What a mess !
Did he make a terribIe scene ?
He came through the door,
I was in there,
naked, wearing your shirt and...
He didn't suspect a thing.
Thank God !
Prejudices can serve a purpose.
Sure, but I feIt so bad.
We can't keep deceiving him,
he's such a good man,
so nice.
We can't keep deceiving him.
We have to stop this,
scientificaIIy and definitiveIy.
ShouIdn't it be taken with water ?
FuII strength works better.
Zero point five.
Sorry, I don't know
what's happening to me,
it must be the stress
of the eIection campaign.
- Is there another man ?
- No, I swear it.
You sound sincere.
The bastards !
It hurts ?
Maybe the shock from the aggression
keeps you from...
You're right, maybe that's it.
I'II never Ieave you aIone.
Poor Piero !
What are those drops ?
- Vitamin A, for the skin.
- Good, I'II take them too.
It's for dry skin,
your skin's soft, you don't need any.
AdeIe, you're so beautifuI.
We've been apart for ten days
and it's working,
but try to be Iess provocative.
Are you schizo ?
Dressed Iike a man I'm sexy,
dressed Iike a woman I'm provocative,
you teII me how I shouId dress.
I'm not here this afternoon,
I'm with FaveIIa,
we're meeting at his pIace,
he wants me in the Great Center.
- Why's she dressed Iike that ?
- I know, but I can't say.
She Ieft us in this mess
to taIk about the Great Center.
You beIieve
the Great Center fairytaIe ?
AdeIe's having an affair
with FaveIIa.
- What the fuck are you saying ?
- Everyone knows it.
- He even bought her that dress.
- What a whore !
From a poIiticaI standpoint.
- She's to say if she's with FaveIIa.
- She yeIIed it to the whoIe office !
But if she sIeeps with him, things
change, from a poIiticaI standpoint.
Meaning ?
What do you know about poIitics ?
I have something urgent, I'm Ieaving.
The parish deIegations
are on their way.
You speak to them !
What do I say to the parishes ?
Bonutti,
I'm in a meeting with your deputy.
- With this music ?
- Want to join us ?
Oh no, they're doing it in groups !
There are 15 of us today,
usuaIIy there are many more.
The music is for the bugs.
Bonutti is one of us,
a new Centrist party can unite
the most unexpected strengths.
- What a Iot of energy !
- Yes, we're very united.
- What did I miss ?
- We began a whiIe ago.
Eighteen missed caIIs !
- Some are mine.
- They're aII yours.
What's so urgent ?
Nothing, I wanted
to ask you something.
What ?
About the traffic pIan.
- What ?
- About the traffic pIan.
If Via Cavour shouId be
made a one-way street...
So, you made eighteen caIIs
about a one-way street !
You caIIed because you're jeaIous.
No way !
Remo's back, we're good together.
I've even stopped taking the drops,
I'm no Ionger attracted to you.
I won't be joining the Great Center.
I toId you, it's a misunderstanding.
This is my third gIass,
you make me Ioose my grip.
How does Piero seem to you IateIy ?
He seems so distant, far away.
- It must be the campaign.
- He says that too.
Instinct teIIs me the opposite,
have you noticed anything ?
- Has he been meeting anyone ?
- Not that I know of.
- If you knew, you'd teII me.
- Of course.
You have my totaI trust.
How are things with FaveIIa ?
WeII...
Wait, Iet me guess.
You have the gaze of a woman in Iove,
but you're tense,
Iook how you stir the poIenta !
If I don't, it'II stick.
I know, he's made you his mistress.
Poor AdeIe !
Be strong !
Don't you know anything by Queen ?
I was at the meeting, but I'm
not with FaveIIa, he can come to us.
You don't beIieve me ?
Who bIew the Iizard up in the sink ?
Math and geography, get inside !
Everyone, go searching for marjoram,
this here.
- Come take a Iook.
- It's fundamentaI for Iamb.
He confides in me,
He confides in me,
he asks me if you have a Iover.
I feeI Iike a jerk,
I'd Iike to teII him.
He's so sweet.
- Yeah, we've been married 1 4 years.
- Married ?
Not IegaIIy, but we had a reception
with aII our reIatives, right here.
What's to teII him ?
It's over between us, right ?
Remo says it's you two
that aren't doing so weII.
What do you want ?
Why can't you admit
you're different ?
Different from whom ?
Different from everyone,
from those who are different.
You're gay,
but you're in Iove with me.
You discriminate against me
because I'm a woman,
if I were a man, you'd have taken
this affair seriousIy
and taIked about it with Remo.
Remo is transparent,
if he has something inside,
he says it.
You're afraid your gay voters
wiII Iearn you've been with a woman ?
I'm afraid my father wiII find out.
I aIready made him suffer once.
See what you're Iike ?
You preach sexuaI freedom,
but you're a bigot, a prude,
a hypocrite.
They can see us.
You're there ?
Have you found some ?
- Yes, pIenty.
- Here it is.
- That's not marjoram.
- But it's the same famiIy.
It has to be reaI marjoram,
keep at it.
See the prejudice ?
PeopIe don't even beIieve
the obvious.
You're the first to have prejudices.
Okay, I'II teII Remo,
but not my father.
- They bareIy asked a question.
- I want to watch you just the same.
- I'm in Iove with a woman.
- Cut it out.
It's not a joke.
For two months I've been having
an affair with AdeIe.
I've tried to stop.
- Don't be Iike that.
- Leave me aIone.
I know it's terribIe for you
to see me with a woman.
It doesn't matter if it's
a woman, a cameI or an aIien,
you feII in Iove with another person.
I can't Iive without you.
I don't want to Ieave you,
I want to Ieave her,
it might take some time.
Let's see if I get this.
You're proposing a threesome,
you're with me and when you can't
resist, you see your Iover.
Maybe it's the onIy soIution.
I'm gIad to see
that you're so reasonabIe.
We've been together for 1 4 years,
you can't propose a triangIe to me.
I can't Iet you Ieave me.
I can't Iet you Ieave me,
so I'II Ieave you.
- You're exaggerating.
- Shut up !
What are you doing ?
I'II show you.
Meaning ?
I'II get a dog, pick up guys.
- That's not you.
- You don't know me.
Don't Ieave, I Iove you.
And her ? Don't you Iove her ?
I don't know, I Iove you both.
Shut up, I don't want
to hear your voice anymore.
Dad, I wasn't assauIted.
I know, Remo hit you.
- He's aIready toId you everything ?
- He didn't want to.
I caIIed him, he was in tears,
he said it was an aIIergy.
- He's never had aIIergies.
- I know. You're a pIayboy.
You can't handIe a marriage
and you want to be mayor.
I never cheated on your mother.
Poor woman, she's been
crying since yesterday.
- How's Remo ?
- TerribIe.
Dad, did he aIso teII you
who the person is that...
I'm not interested in your Iovers.
You'II never find another Iike Remo.
- You and Remo broke up ?
- Who toId you that ?
LuciIIa went out with him
and saw his tears,
he said it was aIIergies,
but he's never had any.
- Mind your own business !
- This is our business.
You break up after the eIection
campaign, not during,
think of Sarkozy.
- Is it true you broke up ?
- You too ?
I'm going home, canceI everything.
Do I come in ?
I don't.
- You're sorry I came ?
- No, I'm gIad you did.
- But...
- I didn't say ''but''.
No, you didn't,
but I read it in your eyes.
Try to understand,
Remo and I just broke up,
I need to be aIone.
Sure, of course.
Sorry, I was wrong to come.
So, I'II be going.
Listen, if...
In Iight of the new decisions,
we'II promise:
trash containers,
buriaI of residues and...
- Are you Iistening to me ?
- Sure, sorry.
Remo doesn't answer the phone,
my father says he'II kiII himseIf.
We can promise
the ''no extension'' committee...
- Piero, come on !
- Remo's stopped eating.
- He'II Iose his job.
- And we'II Iose the eIections !
We have a meeting with the dockers,
want to know more ?
I'II do the taIking.
I'm getting out, I need to waIk.
We'II be in touch...
I'm not mad at you,
you feII in Iove with him.
I had the same Iousy Iuck,
I understand you.
- I couId have toId you.
- It wasn't up to you.
Don't treat me so weII, get mad.
Why are you so good ?
PeopIe rip you to shreds.
I know, I've aIready
been through this.
Piero went with you
because I'm too jeaIous.
No, don't say that.
You're a wonderfuI person,
it's not your fauIt.
Once in a whiIe, if you'd Iike,
if you need to taIk,
I'd Iike to see you again.
It's not a good idea,
you're with him now.
You think so ? He's so distant.
You can't taIk to me
about your probIems with him.
- Isn't it a bit much ?
- Sorry, you're right.
- It's just that you inspire trust.
- I know.
Okay, I'II be going.
- Who toId you I come here ?
- SamueIe.
Don't be mad at him,
I threatened to fire him.
- How's it going ?
- Just great.
I was a jerk, forgive me.
I feeI awfuI without you,
Iike being separated from my Iife.
- You're the one who feII in Iove.
- It's over with AdeIe.
Anyway it wouIdn't work,
I'm too depressed.
You want to come back to me to feeI
better and it'II just begin again.
I might be tempted,
but I won't give in.
You're a piece of shit.
Wait, it won't happen again, I swear.
It won't happen again.
TaIk !
What's Ieft to say ?
I waIk up,
we taIk, I Iook at him,
he Iooks at me.
And then ?
And then he says: ''I Iive here''.
And you ?
I say: ''Nice neighborhood'',
and waIk away.
Because I'm not a pIayboy Iike you.
I can't be without you.
I swear it's over with AdeIe.
- ProbIems on the bIock ?
- TeII your candidate over coffee.
- ProbIems on the bIock ?
- TeII your candidate over coffee.
- Thank you, take care.
- Goodbye.
- What are your requests ?
- WouId you pass the sweetener ?
Here it is.
- Thank you.
- You're weIcome.
- I have something to teII you.
- Sure.
- I'm back with Remo.
- Great !
I'm serious, I Iove him.
We have to find a way
to put an end to our affair.
I aIready have.
- What is it, a survey ?
- No.
Positive, for what ?
For a pregnancy test, I'm pregnant.
HeIIo, Ma'am.
- You said it was impossibIe.
- AImost impossibIe.
- Now what wiII you do ?
- With 1 chance in 4 miIIion.
I can't wait for
the right man to come aIong.
You want to keep the baby,
by yourseIf ?
Want me to expIain why ?
You're gay, you Iove Remo,
you're unfaithfuI...
- No.
- Yes, you are.
You change your mind too often,
moreover, mayor and deputy mayor
have meetings, not chiIdren.
- You may begin.
- Fine, Iet's start.
You did it aII yourseIf,
I have no say.
You're right, Iet's do this:
if you decIare you're hetero,
Ieave Remo and marry me in church,
I'II think about it.
You know that's not possibIe,
what kind of message is that ?
To be mayor,
you need a traditionaI famiIy ?
You're about to be a father
and you worry about your message.
Your Iife
is a communication-strategy.
There's a big huIIabaIoo,
the parents took your advice.
They say the sit-in was your idea.
We have to go and
you have to taIk to them.
Kids are a deIicate probIem,
I'II go another day.
Are you drunk ?
GaIeazzo went and he Iooked great.
- You need to make the evening news.
- Then, I'II go aIone.
I'II come aIong to heIp,
it's a deIicate issue...
No, I need to be aIone,
besides the parents trust me,
you'd best stay away.
He's never acted Iike that.
CLINICAL ANALYSES LABORATORY
POSITIVE
HeIIo, sorry for being Iate.
- What if you win ?
- WiII you cIose the kindergarten ?
ReIax, our program for chiIdren
incIudes...
If you win,
wiII you aboIish Iaw 4777 ?
Yes, that's our intention.
How, since the aboIishment appeaI
was denied ?
Where wouId the fire fighters go ?
Our technicians are working
on this point.
We want concrete answers,
not vague phrases.
You're right, I'm vague...
I've just received
some personaI news.
We don't give a damn, we've been
here for three coId nights.
Row.
AdeIe's pregnant.
Pregnant ?
So, what do you want to do ?
- She'II have it and keep it.
- ReaIIy ?
Think I want to be a famiIy man ?
I don't know,
I couId Ieave you, for a son.
I'm happy you're having a baby,
it's a beautifuI thing.
In a certain sense,
we'II both be daddies.
What ? You're no part of this.
Why not ?
If you become a dad, so do I.
- AdeIe wiII do everything herseIf.
- How ?
Have you seen my sister ?
SchooI, tennis, music, homework.
How can she do it aIone ?
And be deputy mayor as weII.
It's not certain
she'II be deputy mayor.
- ShouId I marry her ?
- Of course not.
But we can't Ieave this chiId
to his destiny.
It's your chiId, our chiId,
the onIy one we can ever have.
You sound nuts.
If AdeIe had 1 chance in 4 miIIion,
the two of us have even Iess.
It's wonderfuI Iuck,
besides, I Iike AdeIe,
she's something speciaI.
Okay then, what shouId we do ?
We have to find a way
to give this chiId a father.
- I couId be the father.
- Are you crazy ?
- You're raving.
- Your chiId needs a father.
I'II speak to AdeIe,
you stay out of it.
- HeIIo.
- Here he is !
Come right in.
Don't you ever watch TV ?
- What is it ?
- You reaIIy mucked it up.
We put the candidates back-to-back
on the subject of kindergarten.
Ah, the kindergarten.
I studied this case for four nights
and here's my pIan.
It's true, I'm vague,
but I've had some personaI news...
Both of you as fathers,
are you crazy ?
Don't get aII steamed up,
it's just an idea.
There are no ideas, either
Piero marries me or disappears.
Since he's aIready married to you,
he disappears.
A chiId can't grow up with no father.
Right, but two are too many.
You're wrong,
don't you read the papers ?
There are onIy haIf fathers nowadays,
with two haIves you get a whoIe one,
you're priviIeged.
I'm not Iistening to you anymore.
Let me turn my phone on.
It's a spa day, the phone stays off.
- It's our day.
- There was a kindergarten probIem.
AII resoIved, I read a news report.
This schooI
wiII never cIose.
Here comes the good part, wait.
Gays don't give a damn
about chiIdren,
since they can't have any.
How about that ?
TeIevision is in their hands,
it's the editing...
So, we have to make sure
we don't Iook Iike jackasses,
know what it'II cost you ?
- Five points in the poIIs.
- For one report ?
It was broadcast six times,
we're in aII the papers.
And GaIeazzo is trying
to get on nationaI news.
We have to patch it up,
onIy AdeIe can save us.
Her phone's off,
do you know where she is ?
- You know where I can find her ?
- Me ? No.
He never knows a thing.
Piero can't be my chiId's father
as Iong as he's with you.
You're right,
a triangIe is humiIiating.
- I never accepted it.
- Then, why taIk ?
Because I'd do anything possibIe
for our chiId's weII-being.
- What's this 'our' ?
- The three of us.
I won't Iisten to these absurdities.
You aIready had your triangIe
and I had no idea.
This baby is aIready
the chiId of a triangIe.
AdeIe has never missed a day.
If she doesn't get here
for the evening news, you go.
- Learn it by heart.
- Giving orders now ?
- You're under our administration.
- You never get it right.
- I got 10 points for you !
- Because they beat you up.
Three points the first time
and seven the second.
- And our anti-crime pIan ?
- You've Iost 1 .5%.
We're the poIiticaI ''suits'',
whiIe he has the ideas,
the creative office, the posters.
Anyway, those three jerks down there
are paying, bring them the biII.
If I'd come with you to the
schooI, I'd have heIped you,
I have three kids. What do you know
about parents' probIems ?
What can he know ?
First supposition:
I'm the First Lady and you're second,
we spIit the days and on Sundays
we aII visit the grannies.
Remo, no !
I beIieve in a traditionaI famiIy.
We have to compromise,
that's how the Center-Left works.
- But not a famiIy.
- Yes, it does.
To win, your poIicies
have to be coherent.
Cut it out,
three peopIe can't have a chiId.
But not aIone either !
Want to Ieave him to a nanny ?
If she drugs him ?
ReIaxed and concentrated,
did you memorize the speech ?
They mustn't see you reading.
You're a wonderfuI person,
but you peopIe are you
and we're us.
If he wants,
he can visit on Saturdays.
You're sad because you wish Piero
wouId propose these things.
He thinks them,
but doesn't know it yet.
That's us, I pIow the path
and he foIIows Iater.
You're stubborn, you don't give up.
It's my onIy chance to have a chiId.
You know what that means.
Yes.
Dear mothers and dear fathers,
kindergartens have been a priority
for our party since...
The Iast time
I made a fooI of myseIf,
I wasn't prepared.
I know you won't vote for me,
I wouIdn't either.
But I'm not here Iooking for votes,
but to taIk to you about my
probIems.
As you know, I'm gay,
but...
I've faIIen in Iove with a woman.
Now she's pregnant with my chiId.
I'd found out
the day I came to speak to you,
I never thought I'd become a father.
WouIdn't you have been distracted ?
Some wiII think:
''That gay has repented !''
But that's not it,
I Iove my man more than before.
But I Iove her too,
she's a wonderfuI woman,
she appears tough,
but reaIIy she's tender, toIerant.
She's the ideaI woman
to have a chiId with.
I'd Iike to Iove them both
and be a good father,
because I don't feeI different,
I feeI doubIy different.
Even if I often ask myseIf:
different from whom ?
These words might cost me
the eIection and the peopIe I Iove,
but we Iive just one Iife
so I don't want to Iie.
If you want a mayor Iike this,
here I am,
otherwise GaIeazzo isn't so bad.
But I know I'd be better,
for exampIe,
regarding this schooI,
if we turned our viewpoint around...
Bonutti said he got a woman pregnant.
He wants to win the Centrist vote,
I bet he'II marry her.
He said he Ioves his boyfriend too
and wants to be with them both.
He's ruined himseIf
with his own hands, what a jerk.
He aIso said you'd be
an exceIIent mayor.
He did ?
What a fair opponent, so correct...
inteIIigent.
- A nice speech.
- Convincing.
You were good.
Maybe a IittIe Iengthy about AdeIe.
No, it was quite weII-baIanced.
- Luca is proud of you.
- Who's Luca ?
A proposaI of mine: Luca or Lucia.
I'd been thinking Emma or Ezio.
Excuse me, I'II decide the name.
In a famiIy,
the name is decided together.
Sure, but we're not a famiIy.
There are too many of us,
two fathers, two husbands...
At Ieast Iet us be uncIes.
Not even, second cousins at best.
Cousins don't count for anything.
- What name wouId you choose ?
- Amintore.
Who's the father ?
On the day of the inauguration
of the new City CounciI,
to weIcome our new counciIors...
My daddy.
MY DADDIES' NAMES ARE PIERO AND...
Hurray for our mayor !
For a safer city,
for our women, our chiIdren,
I Iay the corner stone
of this great work,
the WaII for CiviIization.
CoIIeagues,
I appeaI to your consciences.
I speak of a matter which must,
shouId regard everyone: gay rights.
With that waII, GaIeazzo screwed us,
he surpassed us in the poIIs.
I'm much more credibIe
on famiIy vaIues,
GaIeazzo is on his third divorce.
We have news.
You're no Ionger the candidate.
A woman mayor can't win here,
it's a city of traditionaI vaIues.
That's why the Center wiII win.
You're a Center extremist,
you oppose divorce.
Am I too womanIy or too Centrist ?
Rome says we've Iost for 12 years
now they pick the candidate.
- They picked RodoIfo Pepe.
- Who ?
- Thatjerk who's aIways smiIing ?
- Yes.
No, Pepe has a winning smiIe.
I've been in poIitics since I was 13,
I'II crush him in the primaries.
You can't run,
you'II take votes from Pepe
and he wants haIf-wits.
Running against 5 haIf-wits,
that's a primary ?
A minimum of attention,
at Ieast from my own party.
If you don't want to Iisten,
go to the snack bar.
Good idea, you want anything ?
Coffee ?
This one's got too much support...
Can't we even find
one incapabIe person in the Party ?
They are pIenty of them !
But they're not fooIs.
To take a faII
they want something in exchange,
we need a patsy
who'II Iose and disappear.
Where do we find a fooI Iike that ?
Why did you put me on the CounciI
if you don't Iisten ?
I represent gays, 10% of the voters.
Bonutti, we were Iistening.
- We were commenting on your speech.
- SpIendid. ExempIary poIitics.
But you can do much more.
Run for mayor in the primaries.
- What ? Mayor ?
- Mayor.
- Change is in the air.
- We need young peopIe.
Piero, you're the future.
- Think it over !
- He aIready has.
- What do you say ?
- Thank you.
Good man !
Why the Iong face ?
I'm candidate for mayor.
It smeIIs Iike a set-up.
AII this taIk of change
from men gIued to their chairs.
Look at the mess you've made !
You don't understand aII this,
your worId is in cooking,
you don't keep up with poIitics.
You don't pay attention
to Iots of other things.
- What's the matter ?
- You never think of us.
When did we Iast spend
a weekend together ?
I go aIone
to the most romantic pIaces,
because you have the Professorship,
City CounciI, Gay Rights
and now you want to be mayor.
Think of the visibiIity
for our cause.
You just want your own visibiIity,
your picture in the papers,
so they'II aII drooI.
If you cheat on me again...
They're here.
Coming !
You aII got here together !
Hurray for our mayor !
- How was the uItrasound ?
- Just fine.
I was worried.
Great, Piero !
In a right-wing city,
a gay candidate is a reaI shift.
- You'II make us...
- Look Iike shit.
- Forgive him, it's personaI.
- No, it's poIiticaI.
The New Man has come !
He has no Party, no team,
he'II come Iast.
Where's the epoch-making shift ?
There's no team,
so we'II be your team.
I'II be your spokesperson, for free.
If you need city pIanning ideas,
I'm here.
I'II take care of organization.
GiuIia IegaI issues,
PaoIo institutions,
Lino schooIs
and Sophie fund-raising.
Everyone
has to hand out IeafIets, sorry.
Remo, nothing to say ?
I'm writing a restaurant guide,
I can't get invoIved.
But I wiII say one thing:
a great team was formed tonight.
We have to aim for second pIace,
after RodoIfo Pepe.
But Piero's sixth now !
He can do it, he's a good racehorse.
Here's to second pIace !
''Bonutti for Mayor''.
Let's make a difference.
AII we need is a fairy.
In third pIace with 5.3%,
SiIvana BeIega.
In second pIace with 6.8%,
the big surprise of these primaries,
the New Man, Piero Bonutti.
If we win,
we'II have to make him counciIman.
We'II give him something triviaI,
Iike cuIture, education.
CongratuIations !
And here's the winner:
with 81 .3%, our mayoraI candidate,
the man with the winning smiIe,
RodoIfo Pepe.
Thank you.
They say my smiIe gets me votes.
I was born with this smiIe,
and it has heIped me in my career.
But I want to show
that I don'tjust smiIe.
When...
- He feII Iike dead weight.
- You think ?
A shining Iight
in the gray poIiticaI worId,
an honest voice,
in a State racked
by vested interests.
In case of death
the runner-up steps in ?
I mean it's Bonutti.
You say a woman gets no votes
then you candidate a gay,
head of Gay Rights
and with a boyfriend.
- Where did you get this ruIe ?
- From Obama's website.
You're an idiot,
backing a gay is suicide.
Suicide is saying
the primaries were fake.
But a gay candidate is worse !
Discussing how to kiII oneseIf
is very Center-Left,
why not try to soIve the probIem ?
- Convince Bonutti to give up.
- It won't be easy.
He has to,
so I'II win the next primaries.
I'II see to it,
a New Man is easiIy convinced,
just give him an honorary post.
No way !
There have been gay mayors
in Paris and BerIin, why not here ?
This is ItaIy, since 1948
three words have aIways won:
Center, Center, Center.
The gay Left candidate won in PugIia.
In the South they're open, modern,
we're in the deep North.
And in a right-wing city.
We're down by 15 points,
GaIeazzo wiII crush you.
I stand for those who hide
because their bosses hate gays,
those who can't rent homes,
who are ashamed to taIk about it.
For them a gay candidate
is a message of hope.
Great, the Che Guevara of gays !
Stop pIaying the victim !
Your kind controIs everything:
fashion, TV, papers, sports.
FamiIies, the eIderIy, chiIdren
are being discriminated against.
- I know it hurts to be screwed !
- Screwed, me ?
How dare you taIk to me Iike that ?!
He meant in the poIiticaI sense,
settIe down.
Piero just wants to give
a message to his peopIe.
He has the right
to a prestigious chairmanship.
- The opera counciI.
- Transportation.
- Methane.
- Energy ?
- The Convention Center.
- Are you buying me off ?
I wouIdn't Iike to smear
the Party name,
but if you bump me,
you'II force me to caII
my friends at the newspapers.
Thanks for the meaI.
- Wait, you misunderstood.
- Good !
Now what ?
I'II go see the bosses in Rome,
they'II know what to do.
They say I inaugurate
this waII too often,
but that's steriIe poIemics.
Today the WaII of Freedom
has reached 30 meters.
A smaII step for mankind,
but a giant step for our city.
- What do they say in Rome ?
- That we're jerks.
- TeII Barack Obama !
- Nothing eIse ?
After the debacIe
of the unmarried coupIes biII,
we can't afford
another case against gays.
Bonutti won
and has to be our candidate.
But we don't want
to cross the Church.
For deputy mayor we need
a more moderate candidate,
more Centrist, more...
More ?
They want you.
- Me ?
- Yes.
You bump me because I'm too Centrist
and then you put me back
because you need a Centrist ?
I'm not a woman for aII seasons !
You want the city in his hands ?
I promise you, one hundred,
one thousand waIIs.
Do you want a city fuII of waIIs,
unbridIed free market ?
No heIp for the eIderIy, no schooIs
for the kids, no aid for famiIies ?
Think about it.
AIright, but one thing must be cIear:
Bonutti must accept my program.
- No probIem.
- Good as done.
The Centrist Fury as deputy ?
She's against divorce,
how can we get aIong ?
A compromise.
I don't want the Centrist Fury
and no compromises !
I Iike it when you pIay the New Man,
but if I were you,
I wouIdn't go against the Party.
They'II end up making you
pay for the eIection campaign.
How much to transform this rat hoIe
into an eIection office ?
- I don't know.
- Pavan !
I thought Iess.
- But she has to accept my program.
- Without discussion.
We're here to Iay the foundation
for a common strategy.
First point in the strategy:
you're not gay.
- You're iII-informed.
- I'm taIking about poIitics.
You have to be everyone's mayor,
don't mention gays,
be manIy.
Not even GaIeazzo says
gays hoId raIIies in G-strings !
But he wiII,
your sexuaIity is a weak point.
Speak for yourseIf.
There's no rush to get so specific.
ReIax, aIIow your team
to introduce themseIves.
Professor ItaIo Taddei,
I teach Theory of VaIues.
I pubIished ''Mass Media and FamiIy''.
My passions are De Gasperi,
GioIitti and Saint Augustine.
Hi, I'm SamueIe,
I run the magazine ''Gay City''.
I did my thesis on Freddie Mercury.
My passions are...
That's enough, you'II get
to know each other on the job.
Working together, ideas wiII come.
Have you aIready
thought about the program ?
A CITY FOR THE FAMILY
THE CITY OF DIFFERENCES
Why not make a synthesis
of the two programs.
Nothing to it !
We doubIe incentives to the famiIies
and cut festivaIs and concerts.
No, concerts wiII increase.
Let's move on, don't dig in.
Is it that important ?
- Make a note.
- Incentives.
FamiIies need
assistance for the eIderIy,
municipaI housing assigned
onIy to married coupIes,
or singIe women with chiIdren,
then taxes on night cIubs
and food stamps for Iarge famiIies.
Can you utter a phrase
without the word ''famiIy'' ?
- Does it bother you ?
- Knock it off.
- Are you envious ?
- I'm fed up.
It's non-stop provocation.
The New Man is edgy.
When GaIeazzo provokes you,
what wiII you do ?
Stop !
To stay together,
we dissoIved two parties,
kicked our aIIies out
and Iost the eIections.
I'II bring you together.
- 300 pages.
- No one wiII read it anyway.
We'II worry about it
after the eIections.
If you object, join the opposition.
- You'II get 10%.
- Go do poIitics in Patagonia.
Wake Pavan up, nice weekend !
Pavan, Iet's go.
Who is it ? AIessandra !
Leave your uncIe aIone.
Kidnapped by a monstrous aIien.
Eat it, or no ice cream.
- I'm thirsty.
- She has no water.
Here it is.
So, how's the Centrist Fury ?
Pedantic, bigoted
and a bit of a jerk.
Didn't you teII her we're married ?
We're a famiIy...
PIease, I don't want
to hear the word ''famiIy''.
- Why not ?
- UncIe's joking.
To famiIy !
Hadn't you Ieft ? What is it ?
FAGS, NO THANK YOU.
DO YOU WANT THIS MAN AS MAYOR ?
- They're papering the city.
- SamueIe, caII Associated Press !
- I'm going to respond.
- No, you mustn't.
If you taIk about gays,
I'II opt out.
Then, Iet the civiI rights
groups taIk
and we'II do
a midnight vigiI in protest.
With transvestites in heeIs ?
What a picture for famiIies !
Look here !
HeIIo AdeIe, I'm Remo.
When you get insuIted,
I think you shouId respond.
What's your roIe in this office ?
Think, this is a shamefuI attack,
someone has to respond.
I condemn this racist poster
of unknown origin.
There's nothing wrong
with having fun,
I pIay MonopoIy with my kids.
His strategy's cIear.
Let someone eIse sIing the mud
then step away
to show how democratic he is.
We can't remain siIent.
Who traiIs in the poIIs
has to make mayhem.
No, he has to go for poIitics.
- If they attacked you ?
- I have no Iewd pictures.
It was a party with high schooI
friends, aII married.
I toId you not
to show your shady side.
See how he's dressed,
he Iooks Iike a showgirI.
You can't bring discrimination
into my office.
And you can't hoId hands
with your IittIe friend.
- ActuaIIy, I'm his man.
- Don't answer her, she's a bigot.
I'd say you're even a IittIe Iesbian.
I'm fed up, from now on,
I'II decide or we Iock up.
We Iock up, good riddance New Man !
If you give up now,
it's a poIiticaI disaster
and you Iook Iike a fundamentaIist.
De Gasperi said...
Enough of De Gasperi !
- Remember what Mercury said ?
- I don't care, she's a bitch.
She's not a bitch,
she's a woman who's suffered.
Don't you see how she dresses ?
Change tactic, don't chaIIenge her,
try to understand her, soothe,
even fIatter her.
- How ? She's a Doberman.
- I have an idea.
There must be a different way
to handIe our reIationship.
If I find one, I'II phone
or send an e-maiI.
Let's go shopping.
I don't know how to dress,
with your experience in poIitics
you couId advise me.
Let's make a truce
and see how it works out,
it couIdn't get worse...
- It's too provocative.
- Show me.
It's not my styIe.
I'm not convinced.
A suit is better.
If your styIe's ''punish and repent'',
this is better.
Your husband has exceIIent taste.
You're a good shopper,
you're the first man I've met
who doesn't get bored.
- For me, a coffee.
- Diet Coke for me.
- Doesn't your husband Iike to shop ?
- I no Ionger have a husband.
I went through a traumatic divorce.
- I thought you were against divorce.
- That's why it was traumatic.
- ChiIdren ?
- They didn't come.
They didn't come and...
I have a 1 in 4 miIIion chance
to get pregnant.
That's why he asked for a divorce.
It's funny, for someone
who beIieves so much in the famiIy.
It's not funny at aII,
it's obvious you're suffering
and I respect pain.
I won't make fun of you anymore
if you aIways say ''famiIy''.
I'm counting on it.
Meaning ?
I don't think gays are sick,
but I think it's
not a naturaI choice.
But it reaIIy is nature,
at 16 I reaIized
I Iooked at men and not women.
So then you became resigned ?
No, I went steady with
the prettiest girI in town,
Katia, with boobs Iike this.
My foIks Iive in the mountains.
My father aIways said:
''Better dead than gay''.
I tried... poor Katia.
Poor thing...
Did it reaIIy go that bad ?
Depression, psychotherapeutic drugs,
attempted suicide.
- How did you puII through ?
- I feII in Iove with Remo.
At 19 I toId my father I was gay
and he toId me I was dead.
That's why it pisses me off
when you say we pIay the victim,
reaIity is different
from what you see on TV.
This outfit wouId be perfect under
that dress back there.
- Yes, but I didn't buy it.
- I did.
A gift.
You shouIdn't have, besides,
I'II never wear it.
In poIitics, Iove and fashion,
never say never.
For exampIe, you couId accept
that midnight vigiI protest.
With dancing transvestites ?
And if we did it with famiIies ?
With famiIies ?
Hetero or gay,
they're our kids any way !
Mr. Mayor,
why do you Ieave posters
offending gays on City HaII waIIs ?
You yourseIf couId have
been born gay !
What does this puny group want ?
If you had a homosexuaI son,
what wouId you do ?
Can thatjinx me ?
Respect for homosexuaIs !
Who's that man speaking ?
My father.
Your father ?
Didn't he say:
''Better dead than gay'' ?
His joining our gay rights group
was the greatestjoy of my Iife.
What's aII this bedIam ?
Are you crazy ?
I'd never thought of the gay issue
in terms of famiIy.
Did you think we were
stem-ceII test-tube babies ?
What Iuck !
The attack on the cIub,
my broken Ieg and cracked jaw
wiII give us 4 points in the poIIs.
Just think about getting better.
OnIy winning wiII get me better,
send the news to the TV,
magazines...
This time I'm reacting
and I'II hit hard.
What do you say ?
That I'II hit harder than you,
want to bet ?
This attack was spawned by the waII,
taIking about a safe city
and then using words as stones
generates vioIence against gays.
I ask these hoodIums
why they have it in for my staff.
You cowards, come visit,
I Iive in Via Marchi 32,
my car Iicense pIate is CP868EV,
I Ieave home every day at 7:30,
drop by, I'II offer breakfast.
Excuse me, I'm a IittIe...
- Good !
- Yeah ?
ShouIdn't I have been
a IittIe more poIiticaI ?
No, you were a reaI man.
Man, sort of.
You're not bad as a man either.
I got this crazy idea:
why don't we invert our roIes ?
I'II defend gays
and you'II taIk about famiIies,
that'II throw them.
- WeII ?
- I'II need some advice.
GALEAZZO: THE ENEMY OF GAYS
BONUTTI: A PROGRAM FOR FAMILIES
These posters are symptoms
of a maIe chauvinist cuIture
and GaIeazzo is the Ieading figure.
Today I won't speak about gays,
but about kindergartens
because I want
to be a mayor for everyone.
As Fanfani said.: ''The famiIy
is the foundation of society''.
He's cute even as a moderate.
GaIeazzo is bewiIdered,
we're gaining ground.
- Look at the poIIs !
- Great team !
Before, he wasn't supposed
to taIk about gays, but now you do,
he's a moderate now and SamueIe
announces: ''Gays under attack''.
What's our message ?
You have to raise heII
when you're Iagging in the poIIs.
A gesture of thanks.
I'm embarrassed,
it's not often in poIitics that...
Thank you.
Come to my home for dinner,
you can score my cooking.
- You Iike cooking ?
- OnIy traditionaI recipes.
- FamiIy ones.
- Yes, how did you know ?
I beIieve in famiIy too,
my onIy regret is
that we can't have chiIdren.
I envy those who can, Iike you.
Wine ?
- What did I say ?
- I don't drink, can't have chiIdren.
Forgive me.
It's aII deIicious, no exaggeration.
Your famiIy couId open a restaurant.
We had one,
but it was our downfaII,
we fought over the inheritance
and now we're not speaking.
It's a shame, we used to be so cIose.
Pour me a drop.
Let's taIk about your misfortunes:
what's Piero Iike in private ?
The cIassic hunk,
seIf-centered, vain and a pIayboy.
- You're justjeaIous.
- Be quiet.
- He wanted a dog.
- Why's that matter ?
- You pick up more guys.
- ReaIIy ?
It's common knowIedge.
I'II take this caII,
so you can taIk behind my back.
He's generous, sensitive
and is a cut above in bed.
I couId teII !
Oh no, what did I say !
I'II caII you back.
AdeIe and I
have the same taste in men,
curtains, cooking and sex.
You taIked about sex with him ?
Sex is important,
my husband and I did it every day,
when you can't get pregnant easiIy,
you have to do it often.
Guys, I'm not drinking
with you anymore,
you make me say just anything.
A toast to my friend AdeIe,
who'II keep an eye on my guy
when I'm away.
We're here today to inaugurate
the painting of the waII.
We're here today to inaugurate
the painting of the waII.
You're gaining, but we couId use
a proposaI on crime.
Crime isn't an issue here,
the crime IeveI is the same,
but peopIe are more afraid.
The waII soothes them.
Do you know why
he's aIways inaugurating it ?
Because he gains 1 .8%
at each inauguration.
The waII, as a deterrent to crime,
must be eIegant.
The waII is useIess,
pushers just waIk around it,
it's just propaganda.
Crime issues are just propaganda,
the mayor has no power,
his promises are aII fIuff.
So Iet ours be Leftist fIuff,
soft safety instead of waIIs,
meetings,
instead of prohibitions,
peopIe stroIIing.
Right, Iet's bring back
the grandpas in their chairs,
who observe everything
and are better than cameras.
- Safety in sociaIization.
- Nice !
- Did you work this out beforehand ?
- No.
LateIy it's been Iike that.
For the eIderIy I'd Iike chairs,
teIephones to caII the poIice
and discounts on buses.
I'd Iike to see kids
pIaying in courtyards.
Let's make a Iist
of courtyard custodians
and get voIunteers and retirees
to watch the parks.
- Want a Campari Orange ?
- No thank you, I don't drink.
AIright, just a drop.
- Love, what are you doing ?
- I'm working.
Asparagus 'carpaccio'.
- And you ?
- Me too, I'm at home.
- Who with ?
- AdeIe.
No, you're too upbeat.
Put her on.
He's with me,
he's happy about the poIIs.
- Can I reIax ?
- I'II keep an eye on him.
Thank you.
Have fun, bye.
His jeaIousy means
you're a bit of a pIayboy.
I've strayed, but never more
than twice with the same person.
Being with someone Iess than 3 times
is not an affair.
I think it's an affair from the
first moment, from the first kiss.
If a man said that,
I'd kick him in the teeth.
Let me show you something.
I have a surprise for you.
A doubIe poster,
since we cover aII the vaIues.
SamueIe came up with various sIogans:
''Vote the CoupIe'',
''The Perfect CoupIe''
is my favorite.
Why shouId a mayor share poster space
with his deputy mayor ?
You've earned it, you're good,
you know how to change your mind.
And with you at my side
I feeI stronger.
UsuaIIy Centrists taIk about
famiIy and then go whoring,
you're sincere,
you embody your vaIues.
I esteem you as a woman
and as a Centrist.
It's beautifuI,
and from one
who wants unconventionaI coupIes...
- It's beautifuI, thank you.
- PIeasure.
- Oh no, why did we kiss ?
- You did it.
In fact, I'm asking me.
It's not right, forgive me.
I'm so warm ! Sorry.
I don't usuaIIy kiss men Iike that.
I don't feeI very weII, excuse me.
Okay, I'm attracted to you.
I shouId have reaIized it,
I aIways fought with my husband too.
But this reIationship
is impossibIe, right ?
Now what do I do ?
I'II resign, Ieave poIitics,
even the city.
Don't exaggerate, nothing happened.
What ? I kissed you,
you even toId me
I was a sincere Centrist.
- Do you think badIy of me ?
- I don't care, I'm gay.
But I'm not.
SIeeping aIone is ruining me.
Are you sure it was
an orange drink ?
- No, it was Campari Orange.
- I just heard ''orange''.
Sorry.
Stop it, nothing serious happened.
Thank you for understanding,
I have to go now.
I'II take my things and Ieave.
PIease, don't compIicate matters.
- Of course not, but...
- Stop it.
Wait, your shoe.
I was Ieaving with just one shoe.
- That's my jacket.
- Sorry, I'm confused.
- Bye.
- Goodnight.
-Why are you Iooking at me that way ?
-You're tired, go home to bed.
But I want to make one thing cIear,
I didn't come here
to make Iove to you.
- I know, goodnight.
- Thank heavens.
- I toId you a Iot of crap.
- What are you doing ?
I can't and I don't want to.
I'm gay,
even if I wanted to, I couIdn't.
You'd be disappointed.
Working with Piero can do miracIes !
It took one poster,
and her hair's down.
HeIIo, Taddei.
SamueIe's doing exceIIent work,
the news is out everywhere.
When does he Ieave the hospitaI ?
- I'm not usuaIIy inconspicuous.
- How are you ?
Fine, you ?
- Everything okay ?
- Sure, why ?
The groups want to show support,
you'II be a gay symboI.
- It's not a good day.
- Why ?
AdeIe, we have a Iot to taIk about:
traffic, the southern extension...
Two meetings: a sociaI center
and a kindergarten-cIosing.
You have a right to a pIace where
your chiIdren can grow up heaIthy,
therefore we don't want
this kindergarten to cIose.
Kindergarten ?
I'm here with you to defend
your right to a sit-in.
Often one's rights
are conquered...
through struggIe.
Excuse me.
- You want to buiId in that area ?
- The highway extension passes there.
I MUST TALK TO YOU
The city has to deveIop
aIong the southern axis.
ME TOO
Nothing to say ?
- AIright.
- It's aII cIear, you can go.
What's cIear ?
It's evident that...
There are different approaches
to the subject,
so she and I wiII do
a poIiticaI synthesis.
The Party shouId be kept out ?
I want you to get the heII out.
- He knows what he's doing.
- He seems confused to me.
Piero, we were fooIish...
but a secret affair
with a gay pIayboy...
I have vaIues
and this contradicts them aII.
I'm gIad to hear you say that,
I agree with you.
- So, why did you do it ?
- You did it aII !
You're the one who made me drink,
then you brought me...
It was a mistake,
we won't do it anymore.
Start by dressing
in a Iess provocative way.
Provocative ?
But I'm wearing a jacket !
You dress Iike a man !
If you want to be Ieft aIone,
show your boobs.
- Boobs ?
- Yes.
- Are you joking with me ?
- Sorry, I'm aII confused.
This is a perverse deviance !
Maybe the more I repress it,
the stronger it gets.
I've never been caIIed
a ''perverse deviance''.
That other time was pure chance,
if we try again, I'II faiI for sure.
- ShouId we try again ?
- Let's get it over with.
- Here ?
- Yes.
I swear this never
happened to me before.
I've aIways faiIed with women.
Did you have to start with me ?
- I don't want a secret affair.
- Don't use that word.
Up to 3 times it's not an affair,
I toId you that.
An affair begins with a kiss.
I reaIize you're sorry
you're no Ionger gay...
What gave you that idea ?
Tiny nuances.
I am gay !
I'm 150% gay,
I'm super-gay,
don't dare question that !
Let me expIain
a simpIe concept to you,
gays go with men, but I'm a woman.
- So, you're at Ieast bisexuaI.
- No, I'm gay.
So, why did you Ieap on me ?
Out of generosity.
Because you're frustrated,
I pity you.
Pity ?
Leave me aIone,
go have your fun with someone eIse.
- I'm sorry.
- No, I'm sorry.
The idea of being bisexuaI scares me,
I didn't mean those things.
- I can't keep my strength in check.
- What a bIow !
Did I hurt you ? Let me see.
- It's aII red.
- I can't see a thing.
The entire gay worId
has expressed soIidarity,
Prague, BarceIona.
After this vioIence,
aren't you afraid ?
ActuaIIy, I'm scared witIess,
but don't write that.
What happened to your eye ?
- I bumped into a door.
- No, that's a punch.
- Don't worry about it.
- Sit right here.
PaoIa, come take a Iook.
Sit here, show us.
Just forget it.
- Remove your gIasses.
- Sit down.
This is a punch.
- Now teII us who did it.
- Were they masked ?
I argued for a parking spot.
- Why didn't you say so ?
- Not to upset you.
Where did it happen ?
Near the house, in Via...
It's cIear, it was them.
It's nothing.
I appreciate your desire
to avoid tensions,
but if you got beat up, say so.
Stop, I'm the boss here,
not a word of this ever again.
I've a bombsheII for the front page:
Bonutti gets beaten up,
but remains siIent to avoid tension.
Look what they printed !
Buy up aII the copies,
it's gotta vanish from newsstands.
No use, it'II hit
the nationaI press tomorrow.
Then find out who beat him up,
or this wiII turn on us.
Get moving on it.
- Hair ?
- Shaved.
- No, Iong, curIy.
- It wasn't a skin-head.
- Eyes ?
- Green, penetrating.
Mouth ?
ReguIar, but fuII Iips.
- Like SamueIe ?
- Much more.
- AdeIe ?
- Not Iike AdeIe, not at aII fuII.
He needs a bodyguard.
A bodyguard ?
TeII him, I don't need one.
No, you need one.
I refuse to have a bodyguard,
I'II run the risk...
- Sorry.
- It happens.
- You're a brave man.
- I am ?
Today you earned a vote.
You refused protection ?
You worry me,
take the protection, a bodyguard.
I run no risk.
AdeIe says there's
a mood of vioIence against gays.
It's propaganda,
don't beIieve the papers.
Don't worry.
PIease Iook after yourseIf,
be carefuI.
The news must be taken abroad,
the case has to sweII.
Did you reaIIy have to describe me
to the poIice ?
I didn't know what to say.
- You keep gaining.
- You've picked up 4 points.
We have to strike
whiIe the iron's hot !
Present your anti-crime pIan,
before your eye heaIs.
What are you saying ?
Press conference on soft safety:
taIk about grandpas in their chairs,
chiIdren in courtyards.
With the bIeeding candidate sitting
next to his battered spokesman.
- A media bombsheII !
- We do it tomorrow ?
The pIan isn't ready yet,
we have to write it.
- Go home and write it.
- No !
Why not ?
- We can't both be gone.
- If there's an emergency ?
Do you think you're indispensabIe ?
Get out !
Home...
That's three ! It's an affair.
Don't I wish.
It feeIs Iike Iove to me.
Dammit, to me too.
We have to work hard,
if we don't want it to Iast.
It can't be Iove,
we're too different,
wouId you Iike to be with me ?
- Never.
- Me neither.
It's simpIe attraction,
we just have to resist.
But I can't with you.
- I just take Ormotin.
- What's that ?
A medicine that eIiminates desire.
Like bromide !
Piero, sweetheart !
Sorry to have you see me Iike this.
- How's Piero ?
- Pretty weII.
That's a reIief.
What are you doing here ?
Seeing a Iover in secret ?
What Iover ? No way.
That's Piero's shirt, he hates
a woman's scent, so he's out,
I'd guess he Ient you the house.
Yes, actuaIIy,
he Ient me the house
because I have a Iover...
but I can't meet him at my house.
Nosy neighbors.
Is he in there ?
No, he's aIready Ieft.
Is he an important poIitician ?
You have to teII me who he is,
I just Iove gossip.
I reaIIy can't,
it's better if I don't teII you.
I'II find out anyway,
we have the same tastes.
I'II go find Piero,
know where he is ?
I think he went
to see the poIice chief.
Okay.
It's FaveIIa, from the Great
Center party, he's the onIy cute one.
- Yes, it's him.
- I knew it.
I'd given him a thought myseIf.
Imagine that !
These Centrist women !
- What's wrong ?
- Remo's back.
- Where is he ?
- He went out.
What a mess !
Did he make a terribIe scene ?
He came through the door,
I was in there,
naked, wearing your shirt and...
He didn't suspect a thing.
Thank God !
Prejudices can serve a purpose.
Sure, but I feIt so bad.
We can't keep deceiving him,
he's such a good man,
so nice.
We can't keep deceiving him.
We have to stop this,
scientificaIIy and definitiveIy.
ShouIdn't it be taken with water ?
FuII strength works better.
Zero point five.
Sorry, I don't know
what's happening to me,
it must be the stress
of the eIection campaign.
- Is there another man ?
- No, I swear it.
You sound sincere.
The bastards !
It hurts ?
Maybe the shock from the aggression
keeps you from...
You're right, maybe that's it.
I'II never Ieave you aIone.
Poor Piero !
What are those drops ?
- Vitamin A, for the skin.
- Good, I'II take them too.
It's for dry skin,
your skin's soft, you don't need any.
AdeIe, you're so beautifuI.
We've been apart for ten days
and it's working,
but try to be Iess provocative.
Are you schizo ?
Dressed Iike a man I'm sexy,
dressed Iike a woman I'm provocative,
you teII me how I shouId dress.
I'm not here this afternoon,
I'm with FaveIIa,
we're meeting at his pIace,
he wants me in the Great Center.
- Why's she dressed Iike that ?
- I know, but I can't say.
She Ieft us in this mess
to taIk about the Great Center.
You beIieve
the Great Center fairytaIe ?
AdeIe's having an affair
with FaveIIa.
- What the fuck are you saying ?
- Everyone knows it.
- He even bought her that dress.
- What a whore !
From a poIiticaI standpoint.
- She's to say if she's with FaveIIa.
- She yeIIed it to the whoIe office !
But if she sIeeps with him, things
change, from a poIiticaI standpoint.
Meaning ?
What do you know about poIitics ?
I have something urgent, I'm Ieaving.
The parish deIegations
are on their way.
You speak to them !
What do I say to the parishes ?
Bonutti,
I'm in a meeting with your deputy.
- With this music ?
- Want to join us ?
Oh no, they're doing it in groups !
There are 15 of us today,
usuaIIy there are many more.
The music is for the bugs.
Bonutti is one of us,
a new Centrist party can unite
the most unexpected strengths.
- What a Iot of energy !
- Yes, we're very united.
- What did I miss ?
- We began a whiIe ago.
Eighteen missed caIIs !
- Some are mine.
- They're aII yours.
What's so urgent ?
Nothing, I wanted
to ask you something.
What ?
About the traffic pIan.
- What ?
- About the traffic pIan.
If Via Cavour shouId be
made a one-way street...
So, you made eighteen caIIs
about a one-way street !
You caIIed because you're jeaIous.
No way !
Remo's back, we're good together.
I've even stopped taking the drops,
I'm no Ionger attracted to you.
I won't be joining the Great Center.
I toId you, it's a misunderstanding.
This is my third gIass,
you make me Ioose my grip.
How does Piero seem to you IateIy ?
He seems so distant, far away.
- It must be the campaign.
- He says that too.
Instinct teIIs me the opposite,
have you noticed anything ?
- Has he been meeting anyone ?
- Not that I know of.
- If you knew, you'd teII me.
- Of course.
You have my totaI trust.
How are things with FaveIIa ?
WeII...
Wait, Iet me guess.
You have the gaze of a woman in Iove,
but you're tense,
Iook how you stir the poIenta !
If I don't, it'II stick.
I know, he's made you his mistress.
Poor AdeIe !
Be strong !
Don't you know anything by Queen ?
I was at the meeting, but I'm
not with FaveIIa, he can come to us.
You don't beIieve me ?
Who bIew the Iizard up in the sink ?
Math and geography, get inside !
Everyone, go searching for marjoram,
this here.
- Come take a Iook.
- It's fundamentaI for Iamb.
He confides in me,
He confides in me,
he asks me if you have a Iover.
I feeI Iike a jerk,
I'd Iike to teII him.
He's so sweet.
- Yeah, we've been married 1 4 years.
- Married ?
Not IegaIIy, but we had a reception
with aII our reIatives, right here.
What's to teII him ?
It's over between us, right ?
Remo says it's you two
that aren't doing so weII.
What do you want ?
Why can't you admit
you're different ?
Different from whom ?
Different from everyone,
from those who are different.
You're gay,
but you're in Iove with me.
You discriminate against me
because I'm a woman,
if I were a man, you'd have taken
this affair seriousIy
and taIked about it with Remo.
Remo is transparent,
if he has something inside,
he says it.
You're afraid your gay voters
wiII Iearn you've been with a woman ?
I'm afraid my father wiII find out.
I aIready made him suffer once.
See what you're Iike ?
You preach sexuaI freedom,
but you're a bigot, a prude,
a hypocrite.
They can see us.
You're there ?
Have you found some ?
- Yes, pIenty.
- Here it is.
- That's not marjoram.
- But it's the same famiIy.
It has to be reaI marjoram,
keep at it.
See the prejudice ?
PeopIe don't even beIieve
the obvious.
You're the first to have prejudices.
Okay, I'II teII Remo,
but not my father.
- They bareIy asked a question.
- I want to watch you just the same.
- I'm in Iove with a woman.
- Cut it out.
It's not a joke.
For two months I've been having
an affair with AdeIe.
I've tried to stop.
- Don't be Iike that.
- Leave me aIone.
I know it's terribIe for you
to see me with a woman.
It doesn't matter if it's
a woman, a cameI or an aIien,
you feII in Iove with another person.
I can't Iive without you.
I don't want to Ieave you,
I want to Ieave her,
it might take some time.
Let's see if I get this.
You're proposing a threesome,
you're with me and when you can't
resist, you see your Iover.
Maybe it's the onIy soIution.
I'm gIad to see
that you're so reasonabIe.
We've been together for 1 4 years,
you can't propose a triangIe to me.
I can't Iet you Ieave me.
I can't Iet you Ieave me,
so I'II Ieave you.
- You're exaggerating.
- Shut up !
What are you doing ?
I'II show you.
Meaning ?
I'II get a dog, pick up guys.
- That's not you.
- You don't know me.
Don't Ieave, I Iove you.
And her ? Don't you Iove her ?
I don't know, I Iove you both.
Shut up, I don't want
to hear your voice anymore.
Dad, I wasn't assauIted.
I know, Remo hit you.
- He's aIready toId you everything ?
- He didn't want to.
I caIIed him, he was in tears,
he said it was an aIIergy.
- He's never had aIIergies.
- I know. You're a pIayboy.
You can't handIe a marriage
and you want to be mayor.
I never cheated on your mother.
Poor woman, she's been
crying since yesterday.
- How's Remo ?
- TerribIe.
Dad, did he aIso teII you
who the person is that...
I'm not interested in your Iovers.
You'II never find another Iike Remo.
- You and Remo broke up ?
- Who toId you that ?
LuciIIa went out with him
and saw his tears,
he said it was aIIergies,
but he's never had any.
- Mind your own business !
- This is our business.
You break up after the eIection
campaign, not during,
think of Sarkozy.
- Is it true you broke up ?
- You too ?
I'm going home, canceI everything.
Do I come in ?
I don't.
- You're sorry I came ?
- No, I'm gIad you did.
- But...
- I didn't say ''but''.
No, you didn't,
but I read it in your eyes.
Try to understand,
Remo and I just broke up,
I need to be aIone.
Sure, of course.
Sorry, I was wrong to come.
So, I'II be going.
Listen, if...
In Iight of the new decisions,
we'II promise:
trash containers,
buriaI of residues and...
- Are you Iistening to me ?
- Sure, sorry.
Remo doesn't answer the phone,
my father says he'II kiII himseIf.
We can promise
the ''no extension'' committee...
- Piero, come on !
- Remo's stopped eating.
- He'II Iose his job.
- And we'II Iose the eIections !
We have a meeting with the dockers,
want to know more ?
I'II do the taIking.
I'm getting out, I need to waIk.
We'II be in touch...
I'm not mad at you,
you feII in Iove with him.
I had the same Iousy Iuck,
I understand you.
- I couId have toId you.
- It wasn't up to you.
Don't treat me so weII, get mad.
Why are you so good ?
PeopIe rip you to shreds.
I know, I've aIready
been through this.
Piero went with you
because I'm too jeaIous.
No, don't say that.
You're a wonderfuI person,
it's not your fauIt.
Once in a whiIe, if you'd Iike,
if you need to taIk,
I'd Iike to see you again.
It's not a good idea,
you're with him now.
You think so ? He's so distant.
You can't taIk to me
about your probIems with him.
- Isn't it a bit much ?
- Sorry, you're right.
- It's just that you inspire trust.
- I know.
Okay, I'II be going.
- Who toId you I come here ?
- SamueIe.
Don't be mad at him,
I threatened to fire him.
- How's it going ?
- Just great.
I was a jerk, forgive me.
I feeI awfuI without you,
Iike being separated from my Iife.
- You're the one who feII in Iove.
- It's over with AdeIe.
Anyway it wouIdn't work,
I'm too depressed.
You want to come back to me to feeI
better and it'II just begin again.
I might be tempted,
but I won't give in.
You're a piece of shit.
Wait, it won't happen again, I swear.
It won't happen again.
TaIk !
What's Ieft to say ?
I waIk up,
we taIk, I Iook at him,
he Iooks at me.
And then ?
And then he says: ''I Iive here''.
And you ?
I say: ''Nice neighborhood'',
and waIk away.
Because I'm not a pIayboy Iike you.
I can't be without you.
I swear it's over with AdeIe.
- ProbIems on the bIock ?
- TeII your candidate over coffee.
- ProbIems on the bIock ?
- TeII your candidate over coffee.
- Thank you, take care.
- Goodbye.
- What are your requests ?
- WouId you pass the sweetener ?
Here it is.
- Thank you.
- You're weIcome.
- I have something to teII you.
- Sure.
- I'm back with Remo.
- Great !
I'm serious, I Iove him.
We have to find a way
to put an end to our affair.
I aIready have.
- What is it, a survey ?
- No.
Positive, for what ?
For a pregnancy test, I'm pregnant.
HeIIo, Ma'am.
- You said it was impossibIe.
- AImost impossibIe.
- Now what wiII you do ?
- With 1 chance in 4 miIIion.
I can't wait for
the right man to come aIong.
You want to keep the baby,
by yourseIf ?
Want me to expIain why ?
You're gay, you Iove Remo,
you're unfaithfuI...
- No.
- Yes, you are.
You change your mind too often,
moreover, mayor and deputy mayor
have meetings, not chiIdren.
- You may begin.
- Fine, Iet's start.
You did it aII yourseIf,
I have no say.
You're right, Iet's do this:
if you decIare you're hetero,
Ieave Remo and marry me in church,
I'II think about it.
You know that's not possibIe,
what kind of message is that ?
To be mayor,
you need a traditionaI famiIy ?
You're about to be a father
and you worry about your message.
Your Iife
is a communication-strategy.
There's a big huIIabaIoo,
the parents took your advice.
They say the sit-in was your idea.
We have to go and
you have to taIk to them.
Kids are a deIicate probIem,
I'II go another day.
Are you drunk ?
GaIeazzo went and he Iooked great.
- You need to make the evening news.
- Then, I'II go aIone.
I'II come aIong to heIp,
it's a deIicate issue...
No, I need to be aIone,
besides the parents trust me,
you'd best stay away.
He's never acted Iike that.
CLINICAL ANALYSES LABORATORY
POSITIVE
HeIIo, sorry for being Iate.
- What if you win ?
- WiII you cIose the kindergarten ?
ReIax, our program for chiIdren
incIudes...
If you win,
wiII you aboIish Iaw 4777 ?
Yes, that's our intention.
How, since the aboIishment appeaI
was denied ?
Where wouId the fire fighters go ?
Our technicians are working
on this point.
We want concrete answers,
not vague phrases.
You're right, I'm vague...
I've just received
some personaI news.
We don't give a damn, we've been
here for three coId nights.
Row.
AdeIe's pregnant.
Pregnant ?
So, what do you want to do ?
- She'II have it and keep it.
- ReaIIy ?
Think I want to be a famiIy man ?
I don't know,
I couId Ieave you, for a son.
I'm happy you're having a baby,
it's a beautifuI thing.
In a certain sense,
we'II both be daddies.
What ? You're no part of this.
Why not ?
If you become a dad, so do I.
- AdeIe wiII do everything herseIf.
- How ?
Have you seen my sister ?
SchooI, tennis, music, homework.
How can she do it aIone ?
And be deputy mayor as weII.
It's not certain
she'II be deputy mayor.
- ShouId I marry her ?
- Of course not.
But we can't Ieave this chiId
to his destiny.
It's your chiId, our chiId,
the onIy one we can ever have.
You sound nuts.
If AdeIe had 1 chance in 4 miIIion,
the two of us have even Iess.
It's wonderfuI Iuck,
besides, I Iike AdeIe,
she's something speciaI.
Okay then, what shouId we do ?
We have to find a way
to give this chiId a father.
- I couId be the father.
- Are you crazy ?
- You're raving.
- Your chiId needs a father.
I'II speak to AdeIe,
you stay out of it.
- HeIIo.
- Here he is !
Come right in.
Don't you ever watch TV ?
- What is it ?
- You reaIIy mucked it up.
We put the candidates back-to-back
on the subject of kindergarten.
Ah, the kindergarten.
I studied this case for four nights
and here's my pIan.
It's true, I'm vague,
but I've had some personaI news...
Both of you as fathers,
are you crazy ?
Don't get aII steamed up,
it's just an idea.
There are no ideas, either
Piero marries me or disappears.
Since he's aIready married to you,
he disappears.
A chiId can't grow up with no father.
Right, but two are too many.
You're wrong,
don't you read the papers ?
There are onIy haIf fathers nowadays,
with two haIves you get a whoIe one,
you're priviIeged.
I'm not Iistening to you anymore.
Let me turn my phone on.
It's a spa day, the phone stays off.
- It's our day.
- There was a kindergarten probIem.
AII resoIved, I read a news report.
This schooI
wiII never cIose.
Here comes the good part, wait.
Gays don't give a damn
about chiIdren,
since they can't have any.
How about that ?
TeIevision is in their hands,
it's the editing...
So, we have to make sure
we don't Iook Iike jackasses,
know what it'II cost you ?
- Five points in the poIIs.
- For one report ?
It was broadcast six times,
we're in aII the papers.
And GaIeazzo is trying
to get on nationaI news.
We have to patch it up,
onIy AdeIe can save us.
Her phone's off,
do you know where she is ?
- You know where I can find her ?
- Me ? No.
He never knows a thing.
Piero can't be my chiId's father
as Iong as he's with you.
You're right,
a triangIe is humiIiating.
- I never accepted it.
- Then, why taIk ?
Because I'd do anything possibIe
for our chiId's weII-being.
- What's this 'our' ?
- The three of us.
I won't Iisten to these absurdities.
You aIready had your triangIe
and I had no idea.
This baby is aIready
the chiId of a triangIe.
AdeIe has never missed a day.
If she doesn't get here
for the evening news, you go.
- Learn it by heart.
- Giving orders now ?
- You're under our administration.
- You never get it right.
- I got 10 points for you !
- Because they beat you up.
Three points the first time
and seven the second.
- And our anti-crime pIan ?
- You've Iost 1 .5%.
We're the poIiticaI ''suits'',
whiIe he has the ideas,
the creative office, the posters.
Anyway, those three jerks down there
are paying, bring them the biII.
If I'd come with you to the
schooI, I'd have heIped you,
I have three kids. What do you know
about parents' probIems ?
What can he know ?
First supposition:
I'm the First Lady and you're second,
we spIit the days and on Sundays
we aII visit the grannies.
Remo, no !
I beIieve in a traditionaI famiIy.
We have to compromise,
that's how the Center-Left works.
- But not a famiIy.
- Yes, it does.
To win, your poIicies
have to be coherent.
Cut it out,
three peopIe can't have a chiId.
But not aIone either !
Want to Ieave him to a nanny ?
If she drugs him ?
ReIaxed and concentrated,
did you memorize the speech ?
They mustn't see you reading.
You're a wonderfuI person,
but you peopIe are you
and we're us.
If he wants,
he can visit on Saturdays.
You're sad because you wish Piero
wouId propose these things.
He thinks them,
but doesn't know it yet.
That's us, I pIow the path
and he foIIows Iater.
You're stubborn, you don't give up.
It's my onIy chance to have a chiId.
You know what that means.
Yes.
Dear mothers and dear fathers,
kindergartens have been a priority
for our party since...
The Iast time
I made a fooI of myseIf,
I wasn't prepared.
I know you won't vote for me,
I wouIdn't either.
But I'm not here Iooking for votes,
but to taIk to you about my
probIems.
As you know, I'm gay,
but...
I've faIIen in Iove with a woman.
Now she's pregnant with my chiId.
I'd found out
the day I came to speak to you,
I never thought I'd become a father.
WouIdn't you have been distracted ?
Some wiII think:
''That gay has repented !''
But that's not it,
I Iove my man more than before.
But I Iove her too,
she's a wonderfuI woman,
she appears tough,
but reaIIy she's tender, toIerant.
She's the ideaI woman
to have a chiId with.
I'd Iike to Iove them both
and be a good father,
because I don't feeI different,
I feeI doubIy different.
Even if I often ask myseIf:
different from whom ?
These words might cost me
the eIection and the peopIe I Iove,
but we Iive just one Iife
so I don't want to Iie.
If you want a mayor Iike this,
here I am,
otherwise GaIeazzo isn't so bad.
But I know I'd be better,
for exampIe,
regarding this schooI,
if we turned our viewpoint around...
Bonutti said he got a woman pregnant.
He wants to win the Centrist vote,
I bet he'II marry her.
He said he Ioves his boyfriend too
and wants to be with them both.
He's ruined himseIf
with his own hands, what a jerk.
He aIso said you'd be
an exceIIent mayor.
He did ?
What a fair opponent, so correct...
inteIIigent.
- A nice speech.
- Convincing.
You were good.
Maybe a IittIe Iengthy about AdeIe.
No, it was quite weII-baIanced.
- Luca is proud of you.
- Who's Luca ?
A proposaI of mine: Luca or Lucia.
I'd been thinking Emma or Ezio.
Excuse me, I'II decide the name.
In a famiIy,
the name is decided together.
Sure, but we're not a famiIy.
There are too many of us,
two fathers, two husbands...
At Ieast Iet us be uncIes.
Not even, second cousins at best.
Cousins don't count for anything.
- What name wouId you choose ?
- Amintore.
Who's the father ?
On the day of the inauguration
of the new City CounciI,
to weIcome our new counciIors...
My daddy.
MY DADDIES' NAMES ARE PIERO AND...
Hurray for our mayor !