Doctor Who Am I (2022) Movie Script

1
[narrator]
1963 was born below zero,
but it's the blessing
of our temperature--
...to the assassination
of President Kennedy--
[1960s Doctor Who theme playing]
[Doctor] Have you ever thought
what it's like to be wanderers?
I'm the Doctor.
The definite article,
you might say.
I'm half-human
on my mother's side.
[woman] Who are you?
[Doctor] I'm not running away
from things,
I'm running to them.
[distorted shouting]
But there is a sidekick, proper.
Fifty of them.
[host] Millions of people
have watched it in 75 countries.
-How's it feel?
-[man] 94, I was told.
-[host] Oh, 94.
-[Doctor] Hello, Albert Hall!
[crowd applauding]
[quiet, ambient music playing]
[Matthew] Stand back.
[calm piano music playing]
[Matthew sighing]
This is my film school
graduation film.
45 minutes of crap.
More scripts. Oh!
The very first draft
of The Emperor's New Groove,
when it was called
Children of the Sun.
Oh, my God! Floppies.
-[Stephanie] Do you want this?
-[Matthew] Jesus.
It's like I was on the run.
I got the lid,
'cause I have the pot.
Okay.
Finding this in the query pile?
This would be just like
the meetings that we have,
but with George Lucas.
[bottles clatter]
Oh, United States.
No. Denial.
[Matthew] Oh,
somebody gave me that.
Do you want it?
Not yet.
-This is relevant.
-It's like Christmas.
Doctor Who: Regeneration.
This is all about my--
my Doctor.
And, um,
it's written by Phil Segal,
and he says some deeply personal
stuff about me in here,
which is totally inaccurate.
I was just a hired hand,
I was a writer,
who came up with a good idea,
which was, "Let's have
the Doctor lose his memory,
and then have to try
and work out who he is,
and that will introduce him
to the American public."
Yeah,
really bad special effects.
That light's meant to be coming
from his eyes,
instead of him sitting up
and peering
into my storage unit.
Doctor Who was conceived
as a children's show
in 1963,
about a Time Lord
from the planet Gallifrey,
who travels through time
and space saving people.
And his spaceship
is called the TARDIS,
T-A-R-D-I-S, Time and Relative
Dimension In Space.
It's bigger on the inside.
He's an alien,
he looks like a human,
but he has two hearts.
You also can't kill him.
He regenerates
and comes back to life
as a different Doctor,
but the same Doctor.
He's had about 12
or 13 lives so far,
maybe 50, who knows?
Depends
when you're watching this.
[bangs on door]
I wrote the Eighth Doctor,
played by Paul McGann.
Since the BBC
abandoned the show,
nearly a decade before,
my job was to write
a TV movie pilot
with the hope
that it would spawn
a new American
Doctor Who series.
So we had Paul McGann
as the Eighth Doctor,
we had Daphne Ashbrook
as his companion,
we had Eric Roberts
as the Master.
We were sure this could be
a long-running show.
But our big mistake
was to make the Doctor
half-human.
The Doctor is half-human!
No wonder.
[Matthew] And we had him kiss.
-What?
-What?
[in slow-motion] What?
[in slower slow-motion] What?
[Matthew] Two fatal errors.
And it wasn't picked up
as a series.
I'd always assumed
that maybe the reason
he wasn't doing conventions
was perhaps he, um,
was feeling defensive
about fans asking questions
about the movie.
Bad Doctor Who is better
than no Doctor Who.
[interviewer] Are you saying,
then, you liked the movie?
'Cause if you didn't,
that's fine, too.
No, no, I di-- well, I'm aware
that the writer's
within earshot, um...
It was recognizable
as Doctor Who.
[Matthew]
I didn't go to conventions
for a very good reason.
I thought
the fans would kill me.
But my longtime collaborator
and friend, Vanessa Yuille,
encouraged me
to accept invitations,
and indeed,
make a film about my journey
back into that world.
Now, opportunity had arisen,
and I needed the money.
People are gonna pay me
20 bucks for my signature.
And now I'm beginning to wonder
why I've never done this before.
But also, this is the budget.
So, over the next year,
Vanessa dragged me
to conventions in Los Angeles,
in New York,
and in and out of fans' homes.
[Vanessa] Be nice.
It sounds like I'm the only one
at the table here
who actually saw your movie
the night
it was broadcast on Fox.
Well, I'm one of people
in America
that did watch it, you know?
We were hoping
this was the birth,
the pilot to a series,
that this was going to
launch us,
that Doctor Who
was going to be back.
I knew that Doctor Who
had been off the air,
they'd stopped showing it
on PBS,
and then this thing
was coming out
and it was new,
and people were excited.
There was a lot of enthusiasm
around the movie coming back
in 1996, um,
and people were really
putting all their hopes
into it leading
to a new TV series,
and I think a lot of people
were very devastated by the fact
that it didn't lead
to a series at that point.
[announcer] It's 2005,
and the Doctor is finally back!
Christopher Eccleston
stars as the Ninth Doctor,
and he's ready
to save the world.
Since they brought
the series back in 2005,
it's just taken off.
Nobody really expected
Doctor Who to come back anytime
at-- at any point
in the near future.
And then when it did,
I think it was just--
it was literally
the second wind in a life.
-Hi, how're you doing, sir?
-[Matthew] Good, you?
Good.
It's a bit posey, isn't it?
I don't look like a dork.
-There you go.
-[crewmember] There you go.
-[crewmember 2] Yeah.
-All right.
[crewmember] Good compromise.
[crewmember 2]
Put your hand down.
The movie bridges the gap
from the old series
to the new series.
And it's--
it's very much a forerunner
of what Doctor Who
has become now.
[Matthew] This isn't Comic-Con.
This is a very particular
kind of fair.
These guys are fanatics,
but they exist
within a special corner
of American fandom.
-Hi! Hi!
-How are you?
-Good, how are you?
-Good.
This is the thing,
this is like--
I'm not a celebrity,
I don't have fans,
but somehow, in this world?
I'm suddenly a guest.
[announcer speaking
indistinctly]
[crowd applauding, cheering]
[announcer speaking
indistinctly]
-[Matthew] No.
-Here all on me own?
[Matthew]
Well, then you come back there.
Right.
I mean, it may seem like
I'm a dickhead,
going around,
being followed by a camera,
but-- but really, um... I'm--
I'm hoping to deflect it
and find out about the fans.
This is the best place
to drown your sorrows.
You know?
They're 3000 Whovians,
and lots and lots of booze.
[cosplayer]
Ah, the American fans.
They are the diehards.
Balls-to-the-wall
kind of attitude.
All through medical school,
I was still kind of the--
the closet Whovian.
But, no, yeah,
we're just a normal couple.
We just got married
two years ago.
I'm special.
Please don't hurt me
because I am so special.
[Shaun] This convention,
Gallifrey One,
has been a part of my life,
my entire adult lives.
I was 19 when we started this,
and I'm 46 now.
I'm a-- I work at a restaurant,
I'm a food server,
and I also am a teacher
part-time, so, yeah.
-[baby cooing]
-Ooh.
Hello. And Piper's a baby.
There's a whole community
of people that do this.
That knit specifically
Tom Baker scarves.
And we sit there and talk
to each other and stuff,
and that I found
because this is what I did.
I found myself working in toys,
I worked in industrial design,
and then I ended up
in chocolate.
So Anna and I
are sign language interpreters
for an elementary
and a high school
from where we're from.
It's like, I will do anything
for anybody,
I wanna make sure
that people are okay
in their lives.
-And I'm Andrew Skinner.
-Andrew Skinner!
And that's a good
English accent.
Oh, thank you,
I live in Syracuse.
But I'd say
I'm the mad man with the box,
'cause if I had a TARDIS,
I would be all over the place.
It was very, very
in-the-closet, so to speak.
When we were growing up,
holding a Doctor Who book meant
"Please, please,
punch me in the face."
Um, "Please--
please reject me
every time I ask you out."
You know, it was kinda tough
to be a fan in the '90s,
because it was-- it's always
been a niche program,
but-- but even then,
it was, you know,
a niche within a niche.
Doctor Who fans
are the people that, uh, they--
the Star Trek fans
don't even appreciate very much.
But now it's--
it's grown and it's--
it's that freedom
to finally say,
"Yes, Doctor Who is a thing,"
whereas in Britain,
it's sort of always been there.
The Brits have been enjoying it
for 50 years,
and it's only been,
like, the last ten
that Americans
have really caught on to it.
I actually, um, well--
not from the States,
I'm from Canada,
so I think you have to
change the name
of your documentary
The-- the fans of America,
and one boy from Canada.
-[audience member] Okay.
-[audience laughing]
It's like,
this is our little TARDIS
that's bigger on the inside,
the entire world fits in here
for a weekend,
-and then we all go off again.
-Yeah.
I love it.
Doctor Who has helped
a lot of people
find who they are.
Beg your pardon, sir.
"Doctor Who am I?"
It's like identity.
It's a line from the Doctor Who
movie, of course.
"Doctor Who Am I?"
was the pitch
that I made
to get the 1996 movie.
It's a very iconic moment.
Um, it's a divisive moment.
Some fans love it,
some fans hate it.
The Eighth Doctor
just regenerated,
and he's in the shroud--
the Shroud of Turin,
as I call it.
And he falls down to his knees,
he doesn't know who he is,
and he says, "Who am I?"
[Matthew] At some point or other
in our lives,
we all ask the same question.
Who am I?
[crowd chattering]
[Paul B] There haven't been
too many conversations about
where Matthew is.
But that's because people
seem to be more concentrating,
I think,
on the kind of Doctor, right?
And-- and the stars.
So, then you came to the States
in 1990--
-Two.
-Two.
Or three, yeah.
1992, 1993.
Are you an American citizen?
No, I'm a resident alien.
But that's just 'cause I'm lazy.
I could be a citizen.
-Um...
-Would you be a citizen?
Well...
There's so much marketing.
It's just,
America is in-your-face
with the marketing,
I mean, everywhere you go,
you're gonna see
David Tennant's face everywhere,
because they know--
they know how to sell things
here as well.
And they're just very,
um, visual about it.
[fan] Okay,
Daleks have no gender.
-That's right. They're pulsing.
-[fan 2] Genderless.
American conventions, you have--
you have fans
re-enacting things in the lobby,
you've probably seen groups
of people crowding round Daleks
and people striking poses
and having photographs taken.
That doesn't really go on
at UK conventions.
[interviewer]
So what do they do?
-[cameraman chuckling]
-Uh... [laughs] ...hmm.
[Tara] American fans
are very enthusiastic.
They like to do cosplay,
they like to dress up,
they will wear a t-shirt, I--
I did a couple of conventions
in the UK,
and it looked as though
they had just rounded people up
at the bus stop and--
and sent them in.
No--
hardly anybody wore costumes,
hardly anyone wore t-shirts.
But here, almost everybody has
either a Doctor Who t-shirt on,
or a scarf, or something to do
with Doctor Who,
to proclaim that
they are a Doctor Who fan.
[camera clicking]
[Paul B] People come here
because they love this thing
that society says
you shouldn't love
as much as you do.
And then you're surrounded
by other people
who love it just as much,
if not more than you do.
So, in some ways, being a fan
is almost like
coming out of the closet
when you come to a convention.
Because you're allowed
to be who you are,
and you're allowed
to kind of experience
the things that
you want to experience, in--
in-- in the safe space
that you can.
[announcer]
We just have a couple more
quick announcements
we want to share with you.
I'm forgetting many,
many things,
and I can't see
the schedule here,
cause I'm blind as a bat.
Americans feel religion
so strongly.
Americans feel rights
and freedom so strongly.
So, perhaps,
that's why there's--
there's kind of
an unbridled feeling in fandom
in America, too.
[Matthew] In my opinion,
the American fan
is a particularly
more virulent species of fan.
They practically
destroyed Mark Twain,
Sherlock Holmes,
or any of those,
they're making them
into cult figures.
Oscar Wilde as well, actually,
he did an American tour
and had lots of fans
following him, yeah.
[Matthew]
What did you want to talk about?
Oh, I-- I want to
talk about your movie.
[Matthew] Okay,
did you ever see the movie?
-Be honest.
-No.
-[Matthew] Okay.
-No, I-- I-- I wouldn't lie.
[Matthew] Oh, good.
Lot of people
haven't seen the movie.
Yeah, I don't have any hatred.
You know, people hate RTV,
people hate Moffat,
people hate,
with all due respect...
-[Matthew] No.
-...your work.
-[Matthew] Oh, hello!
-How's it going? I'm Kevin.
-Hi, Kevin. Nice to meet you.
-Nice to meet you.
And you've got
the paperback version--
-Yeah, I got some questions.
-Yes?
We're gonna talk later
about the TV movie.
Okay.
Writer of the-- the TV movie.
Uh, first of all,
you seem like a nice guy.
Uh, the Doctor being half-human.
Is that you?
It was--
I wrote it in the script...
-This interview's over.
-...and then--
[all laughing]
Yeah, I just wrote it off as,
"Well,
Fox must have wanted that,"
and-- and I just thought
it was--
-[Kevin] But it wasn't Fox.
-Yeah.
[Kevin] It was this guy,
I've learned this--
But what's your problem with it?
Oh, come on, he's the Doctor,
he's a Time Lord,
he comes from Gallifrey.
Ah, no, I hate it.
I remember
the criticism at the time
was it felt like Mr. Spock.
Cause Mr. Spock
was half-Vulcan, half-human.
Oh, yes, that's right,
I hadn't realized that.
So, maybe subconsciously
-I was ripping off Star Trek.
-There you go.
...and half-human
on your mother's side
is like-- is like saying
you're really Jewish.
Um, and there's a lot of
references--
I'm not Jewish, I'm half-Jewish
on my father's side.
You should write
a Big Finish audio drama
and title it "Half-Human."
[Matthew] We-- Yeah,
it would be a big hit.
It would be.
Because everybody would tune in,
you know?
They will be like--
they will be like,
"He has to hide
his half-humanness."
Just like,
you know, in Nazi Germany
you have to hide
that you're Jewish.
Do you see what I'm saying?
When will you pay attention,
you know?
And all those people
will think, you know,
and he can't admit
that, in fact,
he's not totally alien.
And then he turns around
and he says, "Wait a minute...
humans are aliens, too."
Yeah.
[woman] I have ventured
onto Tumblr, God help me.
These are people that
absolutely flat-out refuse
to watch any classic Who.
'Cause it's boring.
And they just keep nattering on.
"David Tennant, David Tennant,
David Tennant, David Tennant."
Do you watch the show?
Do you know
what the show is about?
You know, in very broad,
pretentious terms...
you-- after Jesus dies,
you start getting
religions and rules.
[Kevin] Now I will ask you,
the Doctor and Grace,
they share a kiss.
-[Bob] More than one, actually.
-[Kevin] More than one!
We went through
decades of Doctor Who
with no kissing,
and suddenly,
"Oh, look at this!"
Well, maybe that's why
you were persecuted
in the playground.
-Ooh.
-See now-- See now--
I still like you as a person...
[all laughing]
...but you, you know,
it-- it's not
to the George Lucas level,
but a little bit,
you destroyed my childhood.
[piano music playing]
[Matthew] As I was writing
that Doctor,
I was pouring myself
into that character.
I was pouring my experience
of the Doctor as a child,
and all the wit
and all the warmth
and all that sort of love
that the Doctor has of humans,
I was pouring
into this character.
And I was loving doing it.
I was putting myself
on the line there.
[Paul M] Someone wrote to me
and said...
"You've got it
the wrong way round."
-[Matthew] Yeah.
-[Paul M] Yeah.
-[Matthew] I would--
-[Paul M] Don't need as long.
My Doctor, the Eighth Doctor
has been mainly on audio
-all these years.
-[Matthew] Right.
[Paul M] So, I've played
the Doctor on the radio.
[Matthew] You've been alive
for-- as a Doctor,
you've been alive for longer
than any other Doctor.
[Paul M] The longest
and the shortest,
it's become me.
The idea of coming
to these fan shows,
it's just-- I don't know, no.
-[Matthew] Same-- same here.
-Creepy. Weird.
Why would I want to--
[Matthew]
I was invited on a cruise.
Cause it had a kind of--
it had a str--
it has a strange reputation.
And some of it's merited.
Um, and I thought,
"Well, I wouldn't enjoy that.
Why would I--"
So, I didn't do 'em
for a few years.
And when I did,
I really did enjoy it.
In a way, I mean, the simple--
I suppose,
the simple feedback, um...
it's just a pleasure.
Oh, you got the script!
I haven't even got
a copy of this.
I gave it to my son.
This is the first time
I started signing anything.
-[fan] Really?
-[Matthew] Yeah.
This is a real fan book
that you have here.
But Philip Segal
is the wonderful person
who's really responsible
for bringing...
-[fan] Right, right.
-...the Eighth Doctor back.
-Did you want me to write in it?
-Yes, I did.
[Matthew] Or did you-- what--
what did you want me to write?
Well, there's this--
oh, there it is.
The Jacobs script.
-[Matthew] Jacobs script.
-[fan] The Jacobs script.
Dun dun dun!
I don't know
if you got the criticism,
and I know a lot of people
criticized the...
-[Matthew] What, the shoes?
[fan] ...American--
no, the Americanization stuff.
[Matthew] We were making
an American film.
-Yeah.
-[Matthew] What can you do?
-Right.
-[Matthew] This.
So it's 15.
-Thank you so much.
-My pleasure.
Okay.
It seems to me,
that everyone
connected with this show
is trying to cash in
in some way.
I'm in the middle
of the dealers' room here.
There's a lot of rather,
sort of pathetic,
middle-level writers,
like myself,
and reduced us
to a narrative work.
They're enjoying the fact
that they're getting
this stardom.
And I-- it's happening to me!
I-- I feel that, too.
This is the Radio Times cover.
So it's all to do
with identity and ego.
And pissing contests.
I think, "Oh, my God,
am I part of that gang?"
It's kind of-- little scary.
-Nice to meet you at last, sir.
-Hey, nice to meet you.
You won't be coming
to a dinner tomorrow night?
-Yes, and I'll see you then.
-With-- with-- yeah, yeah.
All right. Brilliant. Thanks.
Oh, thank you, yes, yes, yes.
I just woke up.
Couldn't be better,
you sit at a desk,
people come over to you,
they tell you
how much they love you,
then they give you $15,
and then they walk away.
It's the kind of relationship
we all need.
A lot of people
don't give me $50-- $15, though.
They don't.
-They don't give me $15.
-Yeah.
-They just come up to tell me--
-Well, they give you 25.
Hi, I'm Daphne,
an actress and-- and-- oh!
-[audience applauding]
-[laughs]
Um, yeah, I wasn't gonna
be here this year,
because I figure, you know,
you can overstay your welcome.
This is Daphne Day for me.
Daphne's introducing me
to uber-fans.
Let's have the camera
cut that out!
For me, it was just another kiss
with another leading actor.
But it was a funny kiss.
And I'd never had a funny kiss.
[audience and actors cheering]
I make him laugh,
and I don't know why.
I-- so, I--
you know what I think it is?
I think it is,
I'm always gonna make
a bigger fool of myself
in front of people with him
than he could ever,
so he feels totally safe
around me,
because he knows I'm always
gonna be the bigger idiot
in the room, and it works great.
It really works,
and I don't mind.
Yeah, it's really cool.
We're literally-- I've got
my script in the hand,
and we're just goin'--
A lot of people
don't buy a damn thing!
-How are you?
-I'm really good now!
Well, what can I say?
Life isn't complete
until I see you again!
They come up just to say,
"Hi, how are you,"
uh, "Good to see you,
love the show."
I mean, I'm tellin' you,
I have lots of people
that come up,
and I spend as much time
with those people...
-Same here.
-...that don't give me a cent.
I spend
just as much time with them
as I do with somebody
who came up with,
you know-- buying stuff.
-[Matthew] Hey there!
-Hey. I'm back.
[Matthew]
Oh, this is hard to find.
And look at that.
"No sex, please, he's British."
No sex, please,
he's Matthew Jacobs.
[Matthew] Yes, okay.
Oh, I was gonna draw a penis,
but I don't think
that would be good.
-Maybe not.
-[Matthew] Oh. Okay.
-Sorry. [laughing]
-Thank you very much.
[Matthew] And-- and that
was totally inappropriate.
-Nice talking to you.
-Thanks. See you later.
Nice talking to you.
It's probably embarrassing.
I was 18, and it was the most
exciting weekend
of my life up to that point,
when I got the video.
There you go,
so I wrote-- I wrote...
"To handsome Tommy D."
No, wait, two of you together!
[Matthew] The nature
of obsessive, zealot fandom
is something I'm interested in.
Yeah, cause there are people
that-- that's what they do.
-[Matthew] Yeah.
-All year round.
-[Matthew] Exactly.
-Every day.
[Matthew] And we're cogs
in that wheel...
-Yeah.
-...actually.
[Matthew] You know,
going to the conventions,
-um, we're cogs--
-We're part of the problem,
-are you saying?
-[Matthew] Yeah.
Yeah, we're part of the problem.
We're part of the problem.
We're enabling people.
Oh, now you're hangin' that
around my neck!
I'm in trouble!
These people are gonna hate me.
Cut that out, Vanessa!
-Ay.
-[Matthew] We're enablers.
We're enablers. Dude!

[Matthew] Uh,
it's nice to get out of LA.
I'm expecting
any minute to be shot.
[Malaki] You guys are terrible,
you snuck up on me!
[Matthew laughs] Hey, Malaki.
[Paul B] Every fan has a story.
Every fan has, um,
an emotional journey.
And the deeper you go,
the more you see the kind of
creativity of fandom.
[Malaki] Wally
knew a guy named Bob Mitsch,
and Bob knew the Batman guy,
which was, uh, Scott.
-Who made this, Malaki?
-Malaki made it, yeah.
Oh, don't-- yeah, don't do that.
-Sorry.
-They don't move.
Uh, but if you hit
that black switch up top,
it does light up.
So we were already sort of
in the group, we didn't know it,
and then, yeah--
the circle started closin'.
I told Bob,
"I wanna do a cyberman,
because I-- you know,
everybody else is doing Daleks,
and I wanna do a cyberman
because I think
I can do that out of foam."
And he's like,
"You know, foam, what's that?"
And then I made one.
The following year we--
we were starting to up it,
we were like "Okay,
we need a bigger costume,
we need the-- the K1."
So I made that in about a week.
[Matthew] Do you think
you're a frustrated
-costume designer?
-No. No, I am not.
No, I am not, I am just a--
a very, very big fanboy.
[Malaki] Hey, look at that.
Okay. So.
I want to be able to be
that kind of person where,
yes, I can be serious,
yes, I can be funny,
yes, I can be, you know, stupid,
all at the same time,
and still,
you know, be accepted.
[humming Doctor Who theme]
[Paul B]
There's plenty of research
that ties the idea of play
both to childhood
and to fandom, and to adulthood.
Adults play
just as much as children play.
We just have
different names for it.
We call it,
in-- intermural sports,
or-- uh,
we call it a hobby, right?
But it's-- it's still play.
[Shawna]
This is my own creation.
-[Matthew] Yes.
-[Shawna] And I'm basically
kind of a time fairy.
-[Matthew] Right.
-And...
I wanted to be able to make, um,
-the Doctors regenerate with...
-Oh!
...these,
that I would be able
to spin around them
and make them regenerate,
-and to fly through the vortex.
-[Matthew] Right.
[Shawna]
A time fairy helps Time Lords
be able to regenerate
into their new faces.

-What have we got in here?
-[Bob] Oh, I have Ross's head.
This is the--
that's quite heavy.
It's, uh, it's also made--
uh-oh, he's goin' for it.
-Here we go.
-No.
I've got--
my head's too big, yeah?
Uh, if-- if you want,
I-- I'm telling you,
it-- it'll go on, it stretches.
Get the back first, I got it.
-Right.
-Yup.
And then you pull it forward,
there you go.
Boom!
You should situate,
and your mouth will find the--
the little eyeholes
and the mouth hole,
so you can breathe.
And thi-- these were cut out
on the real one,
so I could see through it.
But wow. Yeah, there you go.
You're ready
to command the Daleks.
-You okay?
-[Matthew] Yeah.
-[both laughing]
-Wait a second.
I feel strangely aroused.
Where'd you get the money
to do all this?
It's expensive,
let me put it that--
Uh, it-- it can add up.
It depends on the costume.
And how'd-- how--
what's your day job?
Do you have a d--
I mean, this is your day job.
At the time I did this,
I actually did, uh,
background checks for, uh, Uber.
This was my homage
to the gunfighters.
Says, uh-- you don't see it,
it got cut off,
but it actually says
Doc Holliday on the very bottom
-of the original graphic.
-Which was my dad.
Yep. Yep.
Doctor Who is present
throughout my life,
or my conscious life,
for the most part,
because it began in 1963.
The same day
as Kennedy's assassination,
and I was only about seven.
And my father was an actor.
His name was Anthony Jacobs.
He was
in an early Doctor Who adventure
with the First Doctor,
called "The Gunfighters"
in 1966.
How're you proposin' to handle
this little clamp matter?
What is your way,
Doctor Holliday, hmm?
[Matthew] Where the Doctor
travelled back
to the O.K. Corral,
and befriended Doc Holliday,
who was played by my father.
Oh, you don't owe me nothin',
mister.
You're my first customer,
you have this one on the house.
[grunts]
There was the mirror,
you know, the back of the bar,
and when they wanted
an over-the-shoulder shot,
they slid back the mirror
and the camera
would poke through.
And beside that camera was--
I was there as,
little ten-year-old.
They'd given me a chair
and in front of the chair,
they'd put a little TV monitor
of the selected shots.
It was my birthday treat.
And I had a set of cans,
and I was listening
to Rex Tucker,
who sh-- who was the director
up in the gallery,
calling the shots.
And of course,
for me it was wonderful.
You know, can you imagine,
it was like being there
with my two heroes.
This was my dad and the Doctor.
And my dad was the doctor.
[interviewer]
Even more confusing.
Yeah, that was confusing,
it's account of
my fucked-up childhood.
So this is around the time
that I went with my father
to see him shoot Doctor Who,
and it's also trying to look
very much like hero.
This is my dad taking us
on a small vacation,
in a very small tent.
This is when I was writing
Young Indiana Jones.
And I took the boys on set,
and they met
Sean Patrick Flanery.
And they hung out
with Indiana Jones for the day,
so it was--
I was kind of doing for them
what my dad did for me
with Doctor Who,
which was-- was very sweet.
We haven't taken this camera
out of this house, have we?
Hi, Dad.
[Matthew]
What have you got there, Josh?
-What's that?
-This is my new pocket knife.
It's got two blades, but, um,
I'm about to carve
Anthony Jacobs' initials
on-- on the tree outside,
after I've had one of--
after I've had a Pop-Tart.
[baby cooing]
[Heather] Well,
this is my daughter, Piper.
We named her after Billie Piper.
And she's three months old
and this is
her very first cosplay.
[Stephan] She just came back
from her first convention,
San Diego Comic-Con,
we just got back from.
And, uh--
so she did really well.
She was on the floor
every day, all day long
with, you know, couple-- what,
it's what, 75,000 people a day,
something like that?
All the white noise,
all the people together
kind of kept her soothed,
-so, uh--
-She slept through a lot of it.
Yeah, she slept through a lot.
But she cosplayed every day.
[Heather]
This is all new for us.
We've only been doing it
for what,
-two years?
-[Stephan] Two, three years.
Yeah, the cos--
the cosplay aspect.
[Heather] It kind of
jumped on us.
I made a costume for Halloween,
and happened to wear it
to WonderCon.
And it was such a hit
that we kind of went with it,
and then
it just expanded from there.
Her dress is really what got us
invited to Graham Norton.
I'm just gonna rest it
on my head, if that's safe.
What-- what that looks like?
[Stephan] At San Diego,
I literally ran into Matt Smith
in a hotel lobby.
I was gonna have this--
a tattoo project.

[inaudible speaking]
[Stephan] We picked the elbow,
which, thanks Matt,
I don't know if you've ever had
your elbow tattooed.
[Graham] Where's-- where's that?
[inaudible speaking]
[Matthew] That's big.
[Stephan]
The original idea was that
I was gonna do
the TARDIS sleeve,
and then if I ever happened to
run into David,
there's a blank space
in the middle of the vortex
there for his signature.
[inaudible speaking]
[Matthew]
And this one's very readable,
-Peter Capaldi--
-[Stephan] Yeah, well,
it's also the newest, so it's--
it's, uh--
[Matthew] Oh,
that's why it's so sharp.
We talk about
the Doctor Who in you,
but you don't have
a Doctor Who in you,
-you have a Doctor Who on you.
-[Stephan] And all over me.
-Yeah.
-[Matthew] All over you.
[Stephan] Yeah, so I have--
I have every Doctor
except for Chris Eccleston
right now.
As a married couple,
it's-- for me, anyway,
I found that it's been important
to, you know,
when we find something
we're both interested in,
-to, like, hang on to that...
-Exploit it.
...and not let it go, ever.
Um, cause it's really,
you know, strengthened
our relationship considerably.
I feel like I'm just--
I'm just a huge fan
that loves this show,
and brought me so much joy
in my life,
and in our home.
Just like he brings joy to me!
[laughs]
[audience member]
I just got married last year.
Had a big fat gay wedding,
and when we walked into
the reception, it was like...
[hums Doctor Who theme]
...kind of disco thing,
and everybody
was just on the floor.
They're like,
"Yes, finally, finally."
[Daphne] Finally!
Oh, my God! Come in this house!
-Aww.
-[Eric] Look who's here.
-[Eliza] Great to see you.
-[Eric] I'm in love
with being married.
We've been together, now,
almost 30 years, and, uh,
I've learned how to really
do this job
of being the husband.
-[Matthew] True.
-And I like it.
We've been in, I don't know,
two dozen movies together.
[Eliza]
We love working together.
And we--
we're gonna do a count once
of how many times
we've killed each other
in various shows.
Here's my relationship
to conventions.
I go 'cause she tells me
to go for the fans.
And I had the best time!
I-- I effectively have fun,
because of the fans
are havin' a great time,
and they're dedicated!
I think what's interesting
about Doctor Who fandom is
it fills this hole
of belief structure,
that religion used to do.
The Doctor's belief
of the attempt of non-violence,
the bravery, and so, you know
you can meet the right person
and you know
that the people in the room
are the right people
because they share your values.
[Eric] Fandom
can be kind of religious.
[Matthew] Mm-hmm.
And religion can be sought
by the fans of that situation,
which-- just weird.
There is a worship thing
that goes on,
there's no question about it.
But I think
that you can find that
in a million places.
[Matthew] Amen.
You know, we met the keeper
of the Holy Grail?
There's a lot of people
who have memorabilia from shows,
not just-- you know,
not just Doctor Who,
that are very--
like, this is mine.
You know, uh, I--
I don't feel that way, I-- I--
I think it's--
the responsibility is to share.
So, like, dynamic.
This is the only TARDIS console
in the United States.
And it's one of the only ones
in existence.
I understand what that means.
When we had
the Doctor Who movie reunion
at the Gallifrey Convention,
Phil Segal was there.
He thought
it had been destroyed.
And he was really
emotionally touched by the fact
that somebody had saved it,
and somebody had restored it.
He looked down and he said,
"Oh, you know,
I see you guys built a replica
of the Doctor's bag.
You know,
I have the original one."
And I'm like,
"Oh, wow, that's great."
He goes, "You know what?
I-- I want you
to come to my place,
and I'm gonna give you
some of the props
I have left over from the show,
'cause I want you-- I want 'em
to be with the console,
I want you to sort of
be in charge of that.
Be a curator of, sort of,
the Doctor Who movie."
Which, of course, you know,
I'm sitting there going,
"Hmm. That would be wonderful."
And inside I'm going,
"Oh, my God! Oh, my God!"
[Matthew] We're outside
Philip Segal's office.
And Philip is now
a major reality TV CEO,
and so we've decided
to out-real the reality...
TV guy.
I'm really hoping this is good.
I'm obviously
incredibly excited to see him,
um, after all this time.
A little trepidatious as well.
He completely distanced himself
from the script.
I see all of the things
that I wish
I could've done better,
or wanted to change,
or weren't supposed
to be the way they are.
We sadly were in a time
where we weren't allowed
to make the script
as fantastic
as it could have been.
[doorbell chiming]
Hey there.
-[receptionist] How are you--
-I'm good.
It's Matthew Jacobs
for Philip Segal.
Okay, let me call him.
[Matthew] He's probably
the number one American fan.
Without him,
there would be no Doctor Who.
He is the reason, in my mind,
that Doctor Who
has stayed alive.
Philip, Matthew's here for you.
-[Philip] Oh, my God.
-Hello, darling.
-[Philip] How are you?
-Nice to see you.
Good to see you.
You look terrific.
-You haven't changed
-Same to you.
-Well, maybe we both...
-You, you got taller.
...few little gray hairs.
-Yeah.
-It's the aggravation.
-Why, it is.
-How are you?
-I'm good. You've got taller.
-Have I?
No, either that,
or I got smaller.
Better posture, I think.
No, I think it's better posture.
-I think it is.
-Oh, my God, what an operation.
[Philip] Yeah, that was a gift
from Discovery Channel.
For, uh,
shall we call Deadliest Catch.
Well,
we did a show called Ax Men,
and we've been doing it
for eight years now.
We do a show called
-Ice Road Truckers.
-Right.
I mean,
who knew you could do a show
about men sitting in a truck
driving at 15 miles an hour
for 15 hours at a time,
doing nothing?
-You did.
-We did.
[Philip] This was a gift
from the BBC.
If you pull the top up,
it used to have a lighter in it.
We saw a Dalek that had a baby
in the middle there--
-Oh, right.
-Don't know
-if you have seen that one.
-Yeah.
-No, but a real baby.
-Oh, right.
Look at this.
It's got a wonderful detail.
Look at the, uh, the face.
He looks a little crazy.
-Yes.
-Yeah.
-No, you sit there.
-All right. I'll sit there.
[Matthew] This is your thing.
Yeah.
[Philip] I haven't seen you
in 20 years.
Almost 20 years.
-96. Yeah.
-Yeah.
I'm left with an image
in my mind.
-Yeah.
-And you're left with an image
in your mind,
of a thinner Matthew
-who probably wore glasses, so--
-Well, yes, you did.
-You wore glasses.
-[Matthew] Yeah.
And, um, but you always had
that impish smile, and...
you looked curious at the world.
-I was impish?
-[Philip] Oh, yeah. Absolutely.
On The Seven-Year Itch,
you said--
oh-- you said, "Oh, Matthew,
he's mad,
he's completely mad,
he's totally mad."
And I was thinking of it,
"Was I really mad?"
No, was I insane?
I-- no, looking back on it now,
that wasn't a fair statement.
It wasn't mad.
It was passionate.
-Driven.
-[Matthew] Passion, yeah, yeah.
And, um, you--
you were really driven
by what you saw in your head.
-[Matthew] Right.
-Everything, you saw everything
-in pictures, I think.
-[Matthew] Yeah.
Everything was images
in your head,
and you wanted to express that.
When Doctor Who came out,
when our movie came out,
right, I felt as though
I just-- it was like,
even though there
was some nice reviews...
-Mmm.
-...people universally
-went after the script.
-Yes.
People would say, "Lovely movie.
Shame about the script."
-Yes.
-And they would say--
They were gonna say that
about any script.
Any script.
Uh, I was at a convention
in Chicago...
-Yeah.
-...uh, right after
it first came out,
they flew me out there
and all this stuff,
but I got physically assaulted
by someone
who was so angry at the idea
that the Doctor
would kiss anyone.
I mean, I-- yeah,
it was physically,
I thought he was going to hu--
-I was very scared.
-[Matthew] Yes.
It was a very bizarre moment.
[Matthew] But-- yeah,
I wanted to do the kiss.
-Didn't you? It was like--
-Of course.
[Matthew] I mean, the--
the whole idea was
we were doing
a more romantic Doctor.
Well, he w-- and he w--
he was half-human.
[Matthew] Exactly.
[both laughing]
That's why
if he kisses somebody,
then he no longer belongs
to everybody, does he?
-He belongs to someone.
-That's right. That's right.
That-- but, but it's cool now,
because there are--
-there are women involved.
-That's right.
There are girls involved.
And so now you can be romantic.
-Yeah. Exactly. But it's all--
-But before,
-it was an anorak boys thing.
-That's right.
And all the anorak
boys things were--
they were useless at chatting up
girls,
-and they had this hero.
-Exactly.
This guy who couldn't get laid,
and they went,
"Yay, he's just like me,
-he can't get laid!"
-Exactly.
We-- he'll never kiss anyone,
I don't know--
Exactly, I'm not
in the club anymore.
If you really don't understand
what Doctor Who is,
the essence of it--
and I think most people
who are not rabid fans, or fans,
or-- or really are into the,
sort of,
the-- the universe of it.
-Right.
-You would n--
you'll never understand what
Doctor Who really means
-inside to us.
-Right. Right.

[water dripping]
[Matthew] I'm probably not
a fan.
I'm kind of closer, in a way,
close enough
so that
I don't have to be a fan.
-Does that make sense?
-[Vanessa] No.
I feel, um--
I feel--
it's-- I feel like,
uh, I don't want to
regard myself as a fan.
A fan is somebody who's slightly
outside of the main thing.
Um, uh, and they've--
they worship it.
I'd rather be
the one who's worshipped.
[Vanessa laughing] Okay.
Worshipped or blamed or...
I think at the end of the day,
probably both.
[kid] Let's see.
You could--
it's very hard to see it,
Greg, but-- can I show it, Dad?
-[Matthew] Yeah.
-[kid] AJ.
-[Matthew] Yes.
-Initial here first.
[Matthew] Anthony Jacobs.
[whistles]
-My grandfather.
-[Matthew] Yeah.
My dad was a big nerd.
That definitely
rubbed off on me,
and it was Star Trek.
But I'm a nerd. I like science.
Tech.
So, I like the show.
I think it's a fun show.
[TARDIS Tara]
Shall we? All right.
Let's break her down!
Here we go!
But you've already
gotten this door off.
Good.
[Matthew] Is it a healthy thing?
Where everybody's
just running away
from the problems in their life?
And to a degree...
I feel as though I've done that
by being a writer.
[Tara] Down she comes!
I think, as a writer,
I've run away from my real life.
And I live in fantasyland
that my great characters
are going to,
you know, be fantastic.

[Tara] Doctor Who ends up
affecting your entire life.
My TARDIS is nine foot tall,
1100 pounds,
and she flatpacks into
a trailer,
and then I drive her
literally from coast to coast.
She is the United States'
only bicoastal TARDIS.
[Bill Davis] You know what,
she's a very interesting person.
She shows up at these events,
and she brings that TARDIS,
and I helped her disassemble
that thing
last year, after LI Who Two.
And I'm gonna
kind of avoid it this year.
I hope she gets some volunteers.
It's a lot of work!
I can't believe she does that.
During the summers,
I'm a herpetologist,
and I show schoolchildren
that snakes are not the monsters
they're made out to be, and...
that, to me,
is part of the Doctor.
I mean, he tries to make
everybody get along, you know?
Let's-- let's-- let's embrace
each other's differences.
Let's not, you know,
be petrified of people
because they're different.
We can all find our place.
-[Matthew] Oh.
-[Bob] Yeah.
So the Eighth
is this guy right here.
[Matthew] Oh, there you go.
When the Doctor
gets regenerated,
is there a little regeneration
going on
-for the sonic screwdriver?
-No.
No. Not at all.
[Matthew] Well,
maybe the TARDIS is the Doctor.
Whoo. Interesting.
Like, one day
he'll actually become the TARDIS
in a later regeneration?
What do you think?
-What do you think, Kev?
-You know, any--
[Kevin]
Bob, I think it's all right
to tell him he's wrong.
[Bob] It's all right
to tell him he--
It's all right to
tell him he's wrong.
The TARDIS is not the Doctor,
what's the matter with you?
[actor] Brains locked.
Eyes locked. Eyes locked.
No one distract me. Go back.
-What's that?
-I feel like
-I'm missing something.
-[audience laughing]
It's silly.
It's the Doctor.
It's Doctor Who, you know?
It's-- it's just a story.
They're moving so slowly,
I still know who towed me.
Hey.
The-- [laughs] Stop it!
The improv punctures
all of that pomposity
and self-importance
that seems to be attached
to really appreciating
this piece of science fiction,
which at the end of the day,
is a piece of fun.
[fan] Doc meets the Doc!
You play your father,
and we'll be different Doctors.
[Matthew] Yes, that's good.
Yes, okay, bring the light here.
Hold hands.
Okay. We're reaching out.
How would you like to see
a companion die?
-Just trying to pick up a...
-[Matthew] A signal?
You picking up a vibe yet?
[fan] Sorry,
I was squeezing too hard.
[Matthew] No, no,
don't squeeze too hard.
Immediately become
a sonic screwdriver?
-[actor 1 making buzzing sound]
-[fan 2] No! No! No!
[actor 2 shouting]
[audience laughing]
I-- no, you--
[fan 2 groaning]
It's me.
Matthew Waterhouse.
I played Adric.
-[others chattering]
-[fan] Remember me?
[Matthew whispering]
Is it-- which companion is it?
That's his-- I was the, uh,
last companion,
uh, for Tom Baker,
I was in the spaceship that,
uh, ended up being the meteor
that, uh, killed the dinosaurs.
So I'm important
to history as well.
So if anyone has
any more questions
for old Matthew Waterhouse,
I'm right here.
[Matthew] So why would
you channel Matthew Waterson?
[all laughing]
[Matthew]
I have no idea who he is.
[laughing] Well...
because that's just it.
-[Matthew] That's just it.
-He's--
He's kind of a bleak guy
who thinks a lot of himself,
-kind of like me, you mean.
-[laughing] Yeah.
[Matthew]
Yes, you're being insulting.
Okay. All right,
this improv is over.
[all laughing]
[fan 1] But I had
some great Keith Moon stuff
going on
about Matthew Waterhouse.
[fan 3] Perfect.
[Vanessa] Do you feel like
you're getting into character?
I-- I am, yeah.
-[Vanessa] Do you enjoy it?
-No.
What, this?
Oh, it makes me feel very,
very old.
[Vanessa] You're just
getting into character.
Makes me feel-- well,
everybody has
their own personal Death
following them.
Sure. Yeah.
-Mm-hmm.
-That's right.
So one day,
I'll walk around the corner,
and I'll meet
a version of me like this.
-Like this?
-Yes, wearing that and saying,
"Hello. Your time has come,
Matthew."
And no regenerations for us,
right?
No regenerations, no.
I think-- I don't think so.

[Vanessa] I wanted you to read
some of these letters
that you got.
Oh, yes,
this was a nice little letter,
round from the '90s,
from my son.
"Dear Dad, your love
and humor touches the hearts
of everyone and you are a man
who doesn't need description
to make you strong,
because those men are weak,
and all you need is
20,000 by the end of the week.
-Josh."
-[Vanessa laughing]
This thing
that I was gonna be part of
is-- is so big.
And...
and, uh, you know,
I got left behind.
And I got so close to, you know,
kind of being my ticket
to security.
[snorts]
[indistinct chatter]
[Ken Deep]
I'm so glad you're here.
-Huge fan of the '96 movie.
-[Matthew] Oh.
And here we are-- I-- I--
this is so cool!
It was lovely. It was so lovely.
And-- and I-- I'm a-- I--
you know, it's--
it's very meaningful
for me to be here.
[Ken] Two things
about being a Doctor Who fan.
One is to be able to make
that contact...
-[Matthew] Yeah.
-[Ken] ...with people I admire
-and all my heroes.
-[Matthew] Yeah.
And the second thing is,
to bring them to my home.
-Yes--
-They're not at my house,
but they're at my home,
they're on my island.
[Ken] You have now
come to Long Island,
you've seen things,
you've driven on a parkway
I drive-- drive on
-every day I go to work.
-[Matthew] Yeah, yeah.
I'm driving along, and I go,
"Wow! Matthew drove on this,"
right?
I'm starting to realize,
maybe it's not all about
the show at all.
It's about the--
the sense of community
and companionship
that they find with each other.
Do you have
the Eighth Doctor at all?
[vendor]
What, like an action figure?
-[Matthew] Yeah.
-[vendor] Um...
not sure, it'd be over there,
if it is.
[Matthew]
It would be over there.
-All right.
-Can't vouch for it,
-I'm sorry.
-Okay. No, no worries.
Now the question is,
am I finding that companionship
with this gang of people?
There's something
about the childlike,
uh, innocence and wonder
that Doctor Who gives us.
[Vanessa] What do you think
you're gonna be
-when you grow up?
-I'm really,
really want to be a scientist.
[Vanessa]
You want to be a scientist.
So tell me about that.
I have been studying rocks...
and minerals,
and I am also really in--
interested in finding fossils.
Putting aside your--
your dad's involvement
with being in The Gunfighters,
you were a Doctor Who fan.
You-- it was, it was a show
you knew and loved.
[actor on TV]
Are you Doc Holliday?
-[gunshot on TV]
-[woman screaming on TV]
[Matthew laughing] Sorry.
[interviewer]
He was a murdering maniac.
-[Matthew] Yeah.
-[interviewer] Yeah.
I think I was behind
the picture there.
[interviewer] Yes,
we finally get our first view
-of the saloon set.
-That's right.
[interviewer] It's down.
It's just starting to, sort of--
Suddenly
it's all starting to come back.
-[interviewer] Yes.
-Yes, no.
I have a wonderful
treat watching these, yes.
-[interviewer] Mm-hmm, do you--
-So, I wa-- yeah,
I was probably very pleased
that my dad was shooting people.
[interviewer] Jackie Lane
is famous, kind of,
for almost vanishing
from Doctor Who fandom,
and has never really done
a convention
or been interviewed about
her time on Doctor Who.
Do you remember
meeting her on set,
-or seeing her--
-[Matthew] Yes, yes,
-I did meet her.
-Mm-hmm.
This is strange story, I mean,
it's all a half memory,
but my father, um, uh,
my-- my father w--
my father was bipolar.
So sometimes he would be,
you know,
manic, and sometimes
he would be depressed,
and in those days it was
a perilous kind of illness.
And one day he put together
a village fete,
where we lived out in Essex,
and he invited her
to be the celebrity who came
and, you know,
opened the village fete.
Um, and so my memory was
us picking her up
from Harlow Town station,
and I was very excited.
And Dad had said,
"You! You-- you, Matthew
you know,
you can play the guitar,
and you can sing
Leonard Cohen songs.
Um, so you're gonna dress up
a minstrel.
Um, uh, and walk around
the fete singing,
'Suzanne took me down,'"
that kind of thing,
uh, which of course,
I was a little kid,
it was totally weird.
Everybody ignored me,
and I was very upset,
but she was, I think,
quite sympathetic.
[interviewer]
You are on hallowed ground.
You have actually been able to--
actually get to speak with her,
and, uh, have a relationship.
Well, I wonder why
she didn't turn up?
You know, maybe--
[interviewer]
I hope we didn't scare her off.
Maybe that's why
I kept away as well.
[interviewer] Possibly.
Being connected with my dad,
yeah.
[Matthew] I think
most of my work's intertwined
with my relationship
with my father,
and with a very turbulent era
of my life.
This is me.
Looking a little bit shocked,
basically.
Where the big shift
that happened around 1963,
which is when
my mother committed suicide.
And when the whole life shifted
in this giant gear.
And even though
it wasn't like I'm going around
every time I see Doctor Who,
I-- you know,
I turn into...
Bates Motel. [hums Psycho theme]
[laughing] Um, you know,
it's f--
it is-- it is, um, it is
a very seminal part of my life,
the early '60s, um,
and then it stayed
as a constant reminder,
that is Doctor Who.
I think that it applies
to a lot of people.
A lot of people hold onto,
um, their memories
of TV shows at certain points
in their lives.
[Daphne]
All right, just forget it.
We're gonna take a picture.
All right.
[Matthew] I see we have
a very young fan down there.
-How new are you?
-Two years.
My mom was re-watching
the whole series...
and so I was just like, "Oh,
what is this she's watching?"
And then that's when
my Whovian-ship started.
[audience laughing]
My favorite Doctor
-is Matt Smith.
-[Matthew] Ah.
And when I first discovered him,
I started to see
a lot of myself in him,
and as was brought up earlier,
I also was-- was bullied
quite a bit as a kid.
And I always felt ashamed
for being the odd man out,
and ever since Matt Smith,
he has helped me
to embrace the silliness
and just go out and have fun
and-- and do whatever.
[Matthew]
So is fandom a form of escape?
I don't feel an escape,
or a leap of faith.
I feel a close
emotional connection.
In some ways, I aspire as a fan,
I aspire to be like what I see.
But I also see myself reflected
in it,
um, so it's--
it's a learning experience
and it's also
an aspirational experience.
[audience applauding]
[audience cheering]
Snogged Madame de Pompadour.
[Shawna] Praise him.
Praise him!
[inhuman growling]
I know I have the body
of a weak and feeble woman,
but I have the heart
and the stomach of a king!
And of a king of England, too!
And to think that Dalek,
or Zygon,
or any creature of the universe
should dare to invade
the borders of my realm,
I myself shall take up arms!
Good Doctor!
The Doctor never a more noble
of a subject.
We shall have victory
over the enemies of my church
of my Kingdom, and of my people!
[audience cheering]
[announcer] Best in Show
for the Masquerade
of Mandragora...
a queen's words win wars,
Joanna Dunlap!
[audience cheering]
[actors cheering]
It's turned my head a bit.
It was easy, at first,
to kind of...
not laugh at it.
I mean, it's easy to lampoon,
and some of it
is worth laughin' at.
-[Matthew] Yeah, yeah.
-Come on. But...
there's somethin' about it,
there's somethin' about...
you know, when you get people--
and these shows,
and these meetings
and these conventions,
and these weekends.
You know,
aside from being sociable,
Who-- you know
it's got a sense of humor...
-[Matthew] Right.
-...which is a great relief.
-Um, something goes on.
-[Matthew] Yeah.
You know, friendships that form.
And I mean that,
I mean that sincerely.
Yeah. And I've been
really-- that's why--
that-- that's what's keeping me
coming back to it.
That's what-- that's what
I enjoy the most about it.
Um... it--
-It is like finding a family.
-Yeah.
You're a part of this now!
-Forever.
-[Matthew] I know,
-it's mind-boggling.
-[fan] Forever, one of us.
Maybe we could do
a musical version
of the TV movie, you know,
a Broadway version.
-[audience member] Yes.
-Maybe you could write it.
Would you write it?
Cause it lends itself.
"Who Am I?"
I've actually been a fan
since the '96 movie,
which I've been laughed at for,
but--
-Why?
-You know what?
[Matthew] Which-- which I wrote.
-Nice.
-[Matthew] Yeah.
-And-- and co-produced.
-Can I get your autograph?
-[Matthew] Yes. Absolutely.
-Yes.
Ah, I am so frickin' pretty!
Do you ever have those moments
where you're like--
no, really, really, it's a thing
with cosplayers
where you're-- you're working
on your cosplay,
and you're like,
"Ah, my gosh, this sucks,
I suck,
my skill sucks,
and I don't know what I'm doing,
and I feel so inadequate
and, ah, I'm crying
because I can't do this!"
And then you put it on,
and you're like,
"Oh, my God, I'm beautiful."
[shouting]
Oh, my God, I'm beautiful!
[Shawna] I got three awards,
yeah.
[Matthew] That's so good.
Did you-- did you kind of know
that you were gonna win?
-Let's face it.
-[Shawna] No, not at all.
You always hope,
but you never know.

[Vanessa] How have you changed?
Oh,
do you think it's changed me?
No, it hasn't, has it?
Hasn't changed me at all.
I have a feeling
this is not gonna change me
at all.
[Vanessa] If anything, maybe--
[Matthew] Just make me
bigger-headed, yeah.
[Vanessa] Or it is then
the searching questions.
[Matthew]
I want to get to the bottom
of what the Doctor is.
It may be in me, I don't know
what that represents,
looking back into my life
and looking forward.
Oh, yeah,
these are my mother's poems.
She did write a funny one, once
Hm.
Here we go. Tell of my Death.
"Tell of my death
to the honeybee,
and the high wind-hover,
that by craggy steep,
and humble skep
they made my vigil keep.
But tell of my death
to no child,
nor my lover,
they cannot leap the chasm deep
nor comfort one another."
[birds chirping]
I'm always touched by--
they'll say,
"You know, when th--
when I saw that,
or when-- when-- or, um,
I was kind of in trouble,
or something was happening..."
-[Matthew] Right.
-"...my life, or my family,"
or something like that,
"And that really helped."
[fan] Yo, Paul's here!
-How are you, lad?
-[fan] Near the end of it.
-Good to see you.
-[fan] Yup.
You gonna come into this panel?
-[fan] Yes.
-[staff member] Right in here.
[Paul M]
It's a bit of a responsibility,
I think, that we have.
You know, stories are powerful,
mythologies are powerful.
-[Matthew] Right.
-This is-- this is
a particularly-- this is now
fifty-odd years of it.
With this-- some of these kids
really take it--
they're just kids, aren't they?
They really
have taken things to heart.
So my husband passed away,
completely unexpectedly,
in 2009.
He had a heart condition,
and he just--
one minute he was here,
and the next minute he was gone.
And it was... pretty devastating
for my son and myself.
Those quiet, silent times
between sunset and sunrise,
the house is a little too quiet
and... [voice cracking]
...yeah. [laughs, sobs]
You can escape
instead of thinkin'.
And it pulled me outta my head.
And out of my sorrow.
And gave me
something to laugh at.
And look forward to.
Without that,
I don't know where I would be.
People come here
and they get involved
in time travel
and they can forget about
what's going on outside,
which unfortunately
there's a lot of things
that we don't
want to even talk about.
[Paul M] All right, dude...
hold that thought.
[Matthew] I got to do a panel
here on The Gunfighters.
-I don't have anything to say.
-[Paul M] Just start talking.
-[Matthew] Okay. I will.
-You'd be amazed what comes out.
I will, I'll try.
But they will, um--
they are ruthless.
-Okay.
-Yeah.
And they ask
kind of loaded, and...
-Um, complex questions.
-[Matthew] Okay.
-You're gonna be fantastic.
-[Matthew] Um, I will.
Because you were fantastic
yesterday,
and you're gonna be fantastic
on The Gunfighters.
Cause you're gonna go back
to your boyhood memories.
-[Matthew] Yeah.
-Of being there with your dad.
[Matthew] Okay, well,
if I drink enough,
with--
They'll get some good stuff.
-Yeah, you'll still remember.
-[Matthew] That was fun.
-[Daphne] I love you.
-Yeah, it was good to--
-Yeah.
-We finally got to do a panel
-together, I'm glad of it.
-Yes.
-Thank you.
-Thank you very much.
Yeah. I'm talk--
I'm talking to you tonight
-about The Gunfighters.
-Oh, my God, yeah.
I don't know
what I'm gonna say about that.
[panelist laughing] All right.
-[Vanessa] Are you that nervous?
-[Matthew] Yeah.
[Matthew] I really don't want
to do The Gunfighters panel.
It's freaking me out.
Happy birthday to you
happy birthday to you
Happy birthday, dear Paul
happy birthday to you
Sweet. Bless you, my son.
-[kid laughs]
-Thank you.
-I'll see you around.
-See you.
What?
-Aw.
-[Matthew] Aw, come here.
-Me?
-[Matthew] Yeah.
I'd like to say,
you two need to get
a sense of humor, though.
Oh, look!
[attendees cheering, applauding]
[muffled announcement]
[harp music playing]
[man] We're here.
[Vanessa] Scene 30 off the tape,
one, mark it.
[Matthew] In my mind, why not?
Maybe I shouldn't be.
But, here. I want to show you
something before we start.
[Vanessa] Then tell me
why you're freaking out.
We were just filming--
we were just filming,
uh, Paul, but look.
I... [sighs] ...wait a sec.
I mean--
[indistinct chatter
& laughter on video]
This is him getting his cake.
[indistinct chatter on video]
[cheering and applause on video]
My hands are shaking.
[indistinct chatter on video]
And it was like-- the--
it was like the Pope.
It was-- seriously.
He was, um, oh gosh.
Everybody had
their cell phones up.
I was relatively close.
So sweet.
[video playing from phone]
[Vanessa] That's really cool.
I think at the end of the day,
I'm a bigger fan than I knew!
[indistinct chatter on video]
[man on screen]
I'll be back just as soon
as you've finished
bringing up my character.
[Vanessa] But you were there
when you were a kid.
Yeah, I mean, I was on the set.
I was by there,
it was like the best day ever.
[gunshots firing on film]
And it was not long after
my mother's death
and all that jazz, yeah.
Uh, and he was on the verge of--
of a breakdown anyway
when that happened.
[gunshots firing on film]
It was a shitty childhood,
and Doctor Who was
part of that shitty childhood,
at the end of the day.
Uh, I mean--
I could be sentimental
and say it was a respite,
it was a place to run to.
Uh, sadly films were...
uh, and still are.
[man on film]
Here come the lights.
-[man on film] Now!
-[gunshots on film]
[man on film] Get 'em.
[Vanessa] I'd say that
you are a fan now, for sure.
Yeah. Well, maybe...
I'm as screwed up
as the rest of them.
I mean, cause, let's face it,
a pretty screwed-up
bunch of people.
I mean, not screwed-up,
they're very real.
You know what I mean,
I can't say they're screwed-up,
but, uh--
but there's-- there's--
uh, you know, every--
each one of them looks like
they're dealing
with either being bullied,
or-- or, you know,
some crisis that they went to,
and they moved to Manhattan,
but they found a friend,
you know.
Everybody's crisis, uh,
it ha-- seems to be
how they resolve their crisis,
that they attach to The Doctor,
and I'm beginning to realize
it's the same.
[Vanessa] There's still joy
to be had there.
[Matthew] Well, there is
with making this film.
This is joyous.
Uh, and look at those people.
They-- how happy they were.
-[Vanessa] A community.
-No, it is, definitely is.
But will I come back
to another convention?
Uh, who knows.
You know, will I sort of
be circling my past forever?
I don't think I can do that.
It's cheaper than therapy,
I suppose.
My father was in a show
that was set in America,
and I ended up writing a show
the Doctor Who set in America.
Um, uh, you know,
and so there's a lot of sort of
synchronicity there that is
strangely moving, in a way.
-[fan] What...
-Yes.
...would you consider
to be the best period
for when you when you worked
in film and stuff?
You know,
the most enjoyable for you?
-For me, the best period?
-[fan] Yes.
Actually, right now.
To be honest,
making stuff like this,
making small films
and Hollywood's
an ageist industry,
so as you get a little older,
you have to find
other ways of making films.
And I've stopped waiting
for permission to make films.
It's a touching thing
that you guys have done,
putting together these clips.
It's really nice.
[panel member]
Ah, it's-- it's part of LI Who
-that's doing this.
-Yeah.
[panel staff] They're putting
all of this together.
-But, uh--
-No, I mean, really nice.
[audience applauding]
Thank you. Thank you very much.
This was fantastic! Oh, my God.
[tram rumbling]
Hey there!
Hello?
You guys--
Oh, okay. Um, I'll--
I'll see if the buzzer works.
-Nice to see you.
-Good to see you too.
-Ooh, sorry!
-[Matthew] Oops, sorry.
-[Greg] Good to see you.
-[Matthew] Good to see you.
Hello.
So are you moving tomorrow?
The moving people come tomorrow.
This is what,
when I graduated middle school?
-[Matthew] Yeah.
-It's a lot of stuff!
Three thous--
3000 pounds as well?
Who knows, it may not be
that much stuff.
Hey, how's it going, gang?
Greg's here.
[Greg] What's up, Josh?
-[Greg] Hey. Good to see you.
-[Josh] How are you?
[woman] Hey, Laura. How are you?
-[Laura] How are you?
-[woman] Good to see you.
[Josh] We see each other
on the holidays,
and every once in a while,
and when you come up, and so--
[Matthew] Yeah. And you'll be
able to come down to LA.
[Josh] Yeah, and now
I got someone to stay with
in Los Feliz, so actually,
this is pretty awesome.
[Matthew] Sorry
about filming this, guys.
[Josh] Dude! It's not--
it's not like that.
[Greg] Don't worry about it.
It's all good.
-[Josh] We knew what to expect.
-Ah, okay.
And dude, it's you.
You grew up--
we grew up in a movie.
Like, remember
when we were kids,
and we used to make movies
all the time?
-[girl] It was you!
-[boy] It wasn't!
-[girl] He made me do it!
-Action!
No, it wasn't!
It wasn't me at all!
Here!
Stay away from me!
Stay away from me,
or the little one gets it!
[Josh] You moved the body!
He did, he did!
You're right!
You're right! [voice cracking]
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to make you do it.
Just had a dreadful childhood.
[Greg] I mean, you decided to do
something different, right?
To focus on your career
in a different way.
Does that say
anything about who you are,
or have you changed?
Yeah, maybe
I've been the Doctor.
-[woman] Hmm.
-Maybe I'm regenerating.
Which is sweet,
do you know what I'm saying?
-It's-- it's nice.
-[woman] Sweet 16.
You know, going off
into the sweet 60.
Not sweet 16, yes,
that's very true.
["The Fire"
by Laura Gibson playing]
[Matthew]
There is a new Doctor born
at the end of each series,
and I think that happens
to us all when we go through
certain stages in life.
We regenerate, and then
we regenerate in our families.
Are you carried
by a restless wind?
So I'm a regeneration
of my father.
Or my mother.
And you're a regeneration
of your parents.
With battle scars
and souvenirs
To hang across
your shoulder blades?
[director] Action!
If you're hot as the sun,
I will not question your ways
Oh, if you're hot as the sun
Be not afraid of the fire
[audience applauding]
I just want to say
a massive thank you to Sean,
that came with a little crew
to make a film
called Doctor Who Am I,
and, uh-- and I've-- don't know
if I've got an answer,
but it turned into, um,
"Doctor Who Are We,"
um, because I feel as though
this is a giant family,
and it's full of love.
Oh, they sparkle
like a wedding ring
I don't know,
I feel a great deal
of weight off my shoulders now,
after the--
after the TV movie time.
-Yeah. Good. I don't need that.
-[Bob laughs]
-[all laughing]
-[Vanessa] One did.
They hold you like a melody
[cheering and applause]
Oh, if you're drawn
to the flame
I will not question
your ways
Oh, if you're drawn
to the flame
Be not afraid of the fire
In the creases
of our histories
From candle wax
to motherhood
To sliding
down the banisters
Oh, fate will have
no grudge to hold
Oh, if you swallow the fuel
I cannot question your will
Oh, if you swallow the fuel
Be not afraid of the fire
[music stops]

I'm so proud of you, baby!
[kissing]
[Vanessa] How do you spend
your Valentine's Day?
[Shawna] Uh, as an ancient
alien Minotaur, you know,
hangin' out.
Hey.
[Vanessa] Good luck
with that, Ross.
[Joanna] Praise him!
[woman] Oh, thank you.
[audience cheering]
[door creaks shut]