Donkey's Caroling Christmas-tacular (2012) Movie Script
1
Ok, now, parfaits go on that table,
and the bognog goes over there.
Make sure the pies and cookies
are arranged in fun holiday shapes!
Oh, man, Shrek, I just love this.
Don't you just love this?
- Sure, Donkey.
- This is the best Christmas party ever.
Because this year, everybody's gonna
sing their favorite Christmas carol.
I hear even the Shrek family
is gonna sing.
- Oh, yeah.
- Yeah!
No more bognog for him.
It's my most favorite time of the year
With the parties and carols
and cider in barrels for everyone here
Hey, Shrek, check it out! I found
a real Christmas elf out in the garbage!
I'm not an elf, I'm Rumpelstiltskin.
Let me out of this cage!
So you can run away again?
I don't think so.
Hey, Wolf. You like that?
It's a mega-size Santa replica.
Made from a new magic called...
"plastic."
Yeah, it's freaking me out.
Hey, Pigs, you gotta try
dragon-spicy reindeer apple balls.
No, thank you.
We are on a diet.
We are chubby buddies.
We are getting ready for...
Swimsuit weather!
Move it along, pigs.
Nothing to eat here.
You guys, this is not a place to take
a nap! Wake up, wake up!
It's the warm-fluffiest season of all
Where the fun never ends
and my closest of friends
Are packed here in the hall
I'll be shocked
if this don't end in a brawl
Attention, attention, attention,
everybody!
I want to thank all of you for coming
out to my holiday extravaganza,
caroling Christmas-tacular.
I hope you've been
brushing up on your singing
more than Gretched brushes her teeth.
Teeth aren't needed.
There'll be apples for bobbing
- Old fruitcake!
- And sobbing
And games filled with holiday fun
- There'll be candy
- And presents
- Roast turkey and pheasant!
- And stockings for everyone
It's my most favorite time of the year
And you won't wanna leave
'Cause if you all believe
Santa soon will be here
It's my most favoritest time
Where did you learn how to rhyme?
Christmas is my favorite time
Of the year
Yeah!
Man, that felt good.
Now, who's gonna sing next? Anybody?
Ok. Well, then I guess
I'll sing another.
Stirring our big pot
Full of goodies for our snack
Fungus and tree rot
Stink bugs by the stack
How we like to eat
Worms and grubs and slop
It brings such joy and is a treat
With pickled skunk on top
So bug cocoon
Lick the spoon
Try our cricket slurp
And how I just love rat pie
It always makes me burp
Serve a toad, la mode
Roadkill tastes so fine
Pigeon wings and spider strings
'tis the perfect way to dine
Back in my village, the holiday season
was all about the turn,
dancing the flamenco, and
the bittersweet serenade of this song.
Fleas Navidad
Fleas Navidad
I got Fleas Navidad
My coat is itching
And my eyes go sad
I want a cleansing flea dip
for Christmas
A fine leather flea collar
for Christmas
A nice shampoo
and fluffing for Christmas
To make the itching stop
- Don't mind if I do.
- Not on my watch!
Hey, they're just cookies!
It's not like they're real.
What do you know about being real?
Nothing.
All right, everyone.
Let's wrap it up!
Fairy tale, fairy tale,
merry tale fun
Happily after and happily done
Snow men, you know, men
and donkeys that speak
And a puppet boy made of teak
Abracadabra, cook-ity doo
Home by midnight
'cause Santa is due
Cheeses that pleases
that stink really bad
That makes Christmas glad
I'll confetti ya with poinsettia
As we all trim the tree
Pussy cat time
Boots and hat time
And a stocking full of coal for me
Higgety-piggety
- Ogre roar now
- Roar!
Shake the rafters loud
Huff in' and a puffin'
in a granny's frock
That's the fairy tale
That's a merry tale
That's the fairy tale rock
Come on, everyone,
I'm busting you out!
No one's gonna eat you this year!
Merry Christmas!
And thanks for making
my caroling party Christmas-tacular!
Ok, now, parfaits go on that table,
and the bognog goes over there.
Make sure the pies and cookies
are arranged in fun holiday shapes!
Oh, man, Shrek, I just love this.
Don't you just love this?
- Sure, Donkey.
- This is the best Christmas party ever.
Because this year, everybody's gonna
sing their favorite Christmas carol.
I hear even the Shrek family
is gonna sing.
- Oh, yeah.
- Yeah!
No more bognog for him.
It's my most favorite time of the year
With the parties and carols
and cider in barrels for everyone here
Hey, Shrek, check it out! I found
a real Christmas elf out in the garbage!
I'm not an elf, I'm Rumpelstiltskin.
Let me out of this cage!
So you can run away again?
I don't think so.
Hey, Wolf. You like that?
It's a mega-size Santa replica.
Made from a new magic called...
"plastic."
Yeah, it's freaking me out.
Hey, Pigs, you gotta try
dragon-spicy reindeer apple balls.
No, thank you.
We are on a diet.
We are chubby buddies.
We are getting ready for...
Swimsuit weather!
Move it along, pigs.
Nothing to eat here.
You guys, this is not a place to take
a nap! Wake up, wake up!
It's the warm-fluffiest season of all
Where the fun never ends
and my closest of friends
Are packed here in the hall
I'll be shocked
if this don't end in a brawl
Attention, attention, attention,
everybody!
I want to thank all of you for coming
out to my holiday extravaganza,
caroling Christmas-tacular.
I hope you've been
brushing up on your singing
more than Gretched brushes her teeth.
Teeth aren't needed.
There'll be apples for bobbing
- Old fruitcake!
- And sobbing
And games filled with holiday fun
- There'll be candy
- And presents
- Roast turkey and pheasant!
- And stockings for everyone
It's my most favorite time of the year
And you won't wanna leave
'Cause if you all believe
Santa soon will be here
It's my most favoritest time
Where did you learn how to rhyme?
Christmas is my favorite time
Of the year
Yeah!
Man, that felt good.
Now, who's gonna sing next? Anybody?
Ok. Well, then I guess
I'll sing another.
Stirring our big pot
Full of goodies for our snack
Fungus and tree rot
Stink bugs by the stack
How we like to eat
Worms and grubs and slop
It brings such joy and is a treat
With pickled skunk on top
So bug cocoon
Lick the spoon
Try our cricket slurp
And how I just love rat pie
It always makes me burp
Serve a toad, la mode
Roadkill tastes so fine
Pigeon wings and spider strings
'tis the perfect way to dine
Back in my village, the holiday season
was all about the turn,
dancing the flamenco, and
the bittersweet serenade of this song.
Fleas Navidad
Fleas Navidad
I got Fleas Navidad
My coat is itching
And my eyes go sad
I want a cleansing flea dip
for Christmas
A fine leather flea collar
for Christmas
A nice shampoo
and fluffing for Christmas
To make the itching stop
- Don't mind if I do.
- Not on my watch!
Hey, they're just cookies!
It's not like they're real.
What do you know about being real?
Nothing.
All right, everyone.
Let's wrap it up!
Fairy tale, fairy tale,
merry tale fun
Happily after and happily done
Snow men, you know, men
and donkeys that speak
And a puppet boy made of teak
Abracadabra, cook-ity doo
Home by midnight
'cause Santa is due
Cheeses that pleases
that stink really bad
That makes Christmas glad
I'll confetti ya with poinsettia
As we all trim the tree
Pussy cat time
Boots and hat time
And a stocking full of coal for me
Higgety-piggety
- Ogre roar now
- Roar!
Shake the rafters loud
Huff in' and a puffin'
in a granny's frock
That's the fairy tale
That's a merry tale
That's the fairy tale rock
Come on, everyone,
I'm busting you out!
No one's gonna eat you this year!
Merry Christmas!
And thanks for making
my caroling party Christmas-tacular!