Dope Sick Love (2005) Movie Script
1
Fucking shit!
- Yeah, you like uncircumcised guys, right?
- Yeah.
You're the best, man.
80, 100, 20, 40, 60.
No, come here,
motherfucker, we're taking a...
God, give me 24 hours
away from this madness.
Talk to you.
I'm filling out
this western union slip
to receive money
from my father
and...
Get Matt and I's day
started.
A lot of times, Matt needs
a boost to start the day.
$100!
Let's go.
Let's go, jeeves.
My bags.
What are you doing?
Now, I've already called the
crack dealer and the dope dealer.
We're going to 15th and 6th
to meet the crack dealer,
then we're going to Horatio and
Washington meet the dope dealer.
Then we're going to the spot to
shoot the dope, smoke the crack,
fuck some pussy,
eat some dick.
Get a hotel room.
- I'm about to tear that ass up, girl.
- Do that again.
- I'm about to tear that ass up, girl.
- Meow!
Monday he sent her 500.
Tuesday he sent her 300.
Ay.
And (
Is only Wednesday.
She's almost going on
$1,000 already.
She's gonna pick lock the
door, see if she can get in
so we can go in there
and get high.
This is for you.
Fucking in.
I got introduced
to heroin when I was 17
in high school,
private school I went to,
reneaux academy,
my senior year.
But I sniffed it
till I met Matt,
entirely confident I could
go back to just sniffing it.
The difference
is just the rush.
You're ready to walk
out of here?
Huh... come on.
We have to get somebody
to open the door for us.
It's usually
much easier than this.
We've never had
that much problem.
No, okay.
Thanks.
You've got the wrong
apartment.
Okay.
- Michelle.
- Yes.
Can I use your lighter, buddy? I
don't know what I did with mine.
- This is the one you gave me.
- Okay.
- Are you okay, Sebastian?
- Yeah.
- Here you go.
- Cool, thank you.
I worry about Sebastian
shooting the crack,
because what he's doing is a
lot more intense than smoking it...
As you can see.
Now... now watch him.
He'll start to get very
nervous in a few minutes.
- You okay, Sebastian?
- Yeah.
- No blood on me anywhere?
- No blood.
All right.
Okay. Hello.
What I do is, uh...
I talk with men...
See, they... they...
Where we're going
is where they pick
up girls,
St. marks place.
It's a hotel.
Crackhead girls
hang out there.
Drug addicts
hang out there
and men come
to pick up dates there.
These girls settle
for nothing.
If you tell them a hit of
crack, they'll suck your dick.
I have a lot of
problems because
I name a high price
for basically nothing,
'cause I'm trying
to Rob your money anyway.
I... I hate it,
'cause I know, so you know
sometimes she can
get away with it
and sometimes she has
to do something for it.
And she's my girlfriend
and I don't like other guys
putting their hands
on her.
We think I'm trying to do
this to get us off the streets.
In our brain,
we believe that
because we're drug addicts
and we're dreamers.
Because every dime is
going on drugs. It really is.
I mean I've been on the
streets about nine days now.
I'd say I made
about $1,200.
I don't... I don't even have
money for cigarettes right now.
And it really,
really sucks.
- You're coming down off that stuff, right, hon?
- Yeah.
- So if you hear my whistle...
- Yeah.
Trying to make your
money out here? I hear you.
Yeah.
Is that your man across
the street watching you?
A couple of people
make sure I'm okay.
That's good. That's
the way it should be.
Now if we do anything else
but smoke, is it going to cost me?
Yeah, if you think you're
going to pay me in crack,
that's not how
I like to get paid.
No, excuse me,
I'm talking straight up.
Yeah, I need
to make cash.
I understand that. I'm
talking straight up, okay?
Yeah, Michelle got in
the car with her John.
I just hope
that she doesn't...
She doesn't have
to do anything
you know, sexual.
What happened?
What happened was...
I kept asking him, well,
what is it that you want?
And he was like,
"well I like 69.
I like blow jobs.
I want sex."
- But he didn't give me no money yet, babe.
- Right.
- So now I can't do nothing. I got no money.
- Right.
What am I gonna say? All
right, you like all that, that's nice.
So then finally I said, "how
much am I gonna get paid for this?"
He said, "I'll give you
100." I said, "sure, okay."
I said, "aren't you going to give
me the money to pay for the hotel?
'Cause I can get it cheaper,
'cause I know the guy."
He handed me the $40
and that's when I said,
"you just handed your money
to an undercover cop."
He said,
"okay, all right."
I said, "pull over right
now. Pull the fuck over."
I spent 40 on crack,
I spent 18 on cigarettes,
I spent 10 in the deli.
20, 40, 60,
80, 100,
20, 40, 60.
- So 160 and...
- 220, 220.
We made 220 on that.
Money that comes that way,
you cannot hold onto it.
It just slips out of
your fingers and goes,
you know, it walks into the
fucking crack spot by itself.
You know, the basement
is actually cool too.
You wanna go to the top
or the basement?
All right, guys,
I have my pipe stashed
in my pocket
between my butt cheeks,
not in my butt.
That's reserved
for the tricks.
I fell in love with him
at first sight.
He didn't
like me when we first met.
He told everybody around the
park to avoid me, that I'm trouble,
that I'm daddy's
little rich girl.
Yeah, that I run around
with daddy's money.
That I'm not a real
drug addict, I'm a fake.
If I'm daddy's rich girl, then he's every
homo's little fucking boy toy out here.
Matt is trying to look
lonely and pathetic.
That's when the tricks
approach him.
They know exactly
what they're getting...
Straight guys that are out
here trying to make money.
It's amazing. You will see guys
come out here, thousands of dollars,
meet one of these hustlers. The
hustlers will get them smoking crack.
Three days later you'll see these guys on
the park bench dead broke, can't get home.
I don't think he's gonna have too
much success on the street itself.
I think calls will be
the most successful thing.
Matt, why don't you
try a phone?
Hey, baby, what's up?
It's Matthew calling to get
my weekly butt washing.
I'm in the neighborhood
partying, getting it on,
so I thought maybe I could do it
a little safe and have some fun.
All right. I'm
feeling young. Bye.
- That's good. I said that's good.
- Oh, that's good?
You're the best, man.
We have a good
time together.
All right, gotta go.
- Okay.
- Talk to you.
Thanks a lot, Scott.
- Okay, have a good night.
- Bye, bye.
Tracy ain't from
this world, you know?
This is all new to her.
I mean she's never even seen
this side of life
until she met me
a year ago.
Sometimes I feel that he's
exerting so much effort and energy
into enticing
and landing these tricks
that he doesn't have
anything left for me, you know?
I mean, it's the same thing
about sex.
I always feel that sexually,
that's what he does for a living.
So it's the last thing he
really wants to even, you know,
uh, address or deal with
when he's with me.
You can get trapped
and caught up in this lifestyle.
And once you cross
a certain boundary,
it's like there's
no turning back, you know?
This is the only life I know.
I've been here since I was 14.
I was in a car accident
when I was 12
that wiped out any memory
I have of my childhood.
So I only remember
as far as 12 years and older.
And since I'm 12, I was
scalping tickets to the garden.
13, you know,
started moving downtown
with the cons
and the... the hustles
in penn station
sweet-talking
people out of money,
all the way down into
greenwich village
hustling homos.
You know, so I've been
here all my life.
This has been
everything I know.
So Colin, my friend,
what's up?
What's happening
with you?
You like uncircumcised
guys as I recall, right?
Yeah.
Yeah, I like redheads.
- Redheads?
- Yeah.
I'm close to it,
blond.
So why don't we hang out
for a little bit?
I don't know. How much
money do you want?
- How much can you give me?
- 20.
30?
- Okay.
- Come on.
You have to call
before you come over.
- I never come uninvited.
- Don't worry about that.
He's sucking my dick
and I'm thinking about what am I gonna
do as soon as I get the money, you know.
That's the only way
I'm able to...
To focus I guess and...
And do what I gotta do
because...
I kind of like put myself
out of there.
I'm not...
I'm there, but I'm really...
Mentally I try to like
be somewhere else.
This is why
our relationship sucks,
because we're not boyfriend
and girlfriend anymore.
We're... we're running
partners, you know?
And it's like,
I'm very good to Sebastian,
even though
I'm poisoning him.
Can I come down, babe?
When we first met, we
didn't get high together at all.
And we always used to say,
when we get high together
it's over.
My husband overdosed
and died
and my boyfriend
overdosed and died.
I've overdosed
plenty of times.
I don't know
if I could survive a third.
I'm spending the day
at my ma's house.
I won't do drugs
around my mother.
I think it would kill her if she
knew I was shooting heroin.
We can take this one.
I haven't been
down this way in years.
It's a burnt out
fucking nigger town.
The ghetto, the slums.
But my mom's block
is probably the only block...
Fucking white block in this
neighborhood and that's changed.
I think she's the only
white family now.
But I grew up here.
I love it. I love it.
This is westside cemetery.
I used to smoke dust in there
when I was like 11 years old.
It'll be okay, come on.
This was the first house
my mom moved into
when she moved
to this block.
All the work, the aluminum siding
and everything, my father did everything.
He had a heart attack
a couple of months ago.
He died a couple
of months ago.
You know I got
love for you.
You better have
money for me.
This is my mom,
Dorothy Calhoun.
This is her dream.
She's always wanted a house.
She got one
on the same block
she can't seem to get off
of for the last 15 years.
I'm here for at least 30 years
until the house is paid off at least.
It's going to be that long?
Yeah, but I'll leave the bills
for you. What are you doing?
- I'm throwing away that old...
- No, Matt, not here.
Ma, it's a cheesecake thing.
You don't need that.
Matthew, this is recycling.
This is mail to go in
the mailbox, thank you.
Some cocoa pebbles,
I love it.
She still keeps
the best cereal.
Don't cry over spilt milk.
There's Matthew too.
Hey, Matthew.
I was two years old there,
He was a good child.
He was
an a-number-one baby.
- Who me?
- Yep, you were.
And then you grew up.
- Look at Andrew.
- Who's this?
This is me and my son
at my grandmother's.
I was seeing him
every weekend then.
My little man.
I haven't seen him
in like nine months.
I can't... I can't deal
with any of it anymore.
- Huh?
- I said I can't deal with your rough life anymore.
- You know something, ma?
- I lived with it for too long.
You know what, ma?
I almost can't deal
with it anymore.
I'm getting tired of it.
- Go home, go home, go home.
- All right.
- I love you, ma.
- I love you too. Go.
I'll talk to you in a week.
- Love you.
- Love you too. Be good.
Yeah, because I don't want
to go back to fucking hell.
That was so normal.
- We have to... babe, babe, babe...
- we got to get dope.
- We got no money.
- If you call your father
and your father
guarantees you tomorrow
we'll go right to Terry's.
She does nothing for him,
she brings him down.
He brings her down, she
brings him down, whichever.
You know, they do
nothing for each other.
Oh my god, baby.
That gets me nervous.
If she your girl,
why the fuck
is she fucking
every pipehead out here?
Why the fuck she inviting me to
some apartment up in fucking Harlem?
- Maybe she was horny that day.
- Get the fuck outta here.
- Shit happens, you know.
- Yeah, and that's your girl?
- And that's your girl?
- That's my girl!
I'm telling you it's my girl.
In my heart it's my girl.
You about to turn on me.
You a fake motherfucker.
I'll fuck that
bitch up right now.
- No you won't.
- No I won't?
- I'm telling you you won't.
- What?
- I'm telling you.
- You want to do something too?
I'm telling you
you won't, Shawn.
- What you want to do?
- I'm telling you.
- What you want to do now?
- You want to fight with me?
You're turning
on your brother?
- If you're gonna turn on me, then that shit is dead.
- It's dead then.
- Then it's dead. You a fake motherfucker.
- Call it what you want.
- A fake motherfucker.
- Call it what you want.
But when your bitch comes up
missing, come and see me.
When she comes up missing,
come and see me.
His brother's rarely there,
if ever,
to contribute anything positive
or beneficial to Matt's life.
Yet at the same time,
he cares so deeply about Matt
and is so, you know,
worried
about Matt's life
and Matt's well-being
that he's trying to protect Matt from
being with me, because, you know,
I'm not good for Matt.
I'll just write him off.
Just like that.
The fight between me
and my brother
is actually the fight between him
and them drugs that he's doing.
That's what's going
to kill him.
It seems like he's living
a suicidal mission.
This is not the same drug.
Fuck, man.
The garbage is empty
and those are probably
fucking sopping wet, babe.
Sebastian is looking through
the garbage for receipts right now
because we don't have any money
and we want to get some drugs.
So he's gonna
get receipts
and we're going to the store
and return the merchandise.
Sometimes he has to go through
three or four bags of garbage
before he can find
a receipt.
It's kind of just like
any other scam, you know?
Some days work out smooth,
some don't.
Here we go.
Here we go, Sebastian.
Good evening.
I have a question for you.
I bought something
in your store.
Is it possible I can return
it in a different d'Agostino?
Thank you, sir.
Are you looking,
Sebastian?
You know, we're going
to get caught.
Here, here we go.
Hold this. Just hold it.
Uh, I'm returning this.
My mother-in-law
just called the store
a few minutes ago. I don't
know who she spoke to.
- Let me see this.
- Here you go.
Lewis, she went to greenwich.
She's returning this.
She just called the store.
She said she spoke
to a woman.
So you don't know if
anyone took that call...
That she spoke to a woman?
- No.
- No, huh?
That figures.
Okay. That's bullshit.
I mean what the fuck,
Sebastian?
You did not call that store. You
called the store on that receipt.
Yes, I did.
No wonder why. That is not
the store that's on the receipt.
I didn't have that number.
So you just do
what you want
and send me in somewhere
with fucked up information, right?
I never told you.
Well, that's how
I took it, Sebastian.
You know, common sense...
I would think
you would call the store
that I'm going into.
You know, maybe
I'm not fucking normal,
but that's what I would
think that you were doing,
not calling a different store and then sending
me into the store that you didn't call.
So this is my fault
and then I Rob the store.
That was even better. And
then I Rob the fucking store.
Do you understand I could
go to fucking jail
for a year for a fucking
bottle of tide?
What are we gonna do
for money, Sebastian?
I don't want to pick
in fucking garbage, man.
Fucking disgusting.
Oh, oh, fuck.
- Sebastian, I got a frame for $14.99.
- What is it?
Just a picture frame.
4x6, that's small, right?
- $14.99.
- Holy shit, hell yeah.
Got it.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I think so, 'cause
I took the call.
The guy who
returned a phone,
he was like,
"it didn't sound right."
I said, "the phone
was never opened."
Thank you.
Did you magically
use this box?
He just left.
Okay.
I think I got 15.
I got bullshit.
This is nothing.
Look, my feet hurt.
I need dope.
What are we gonna do,
Sebastian?
'Cause I need like piles
of money, forget this shit.
But a hit of crack
will do for now.
Babe, listen, we got to go over
to St. marks and make money.
I'm going to use
the badge tonight,
the NYPD money clip that looks
like the badge I got from that John.
- Yeah.
- So I can pretend that I'm a detective.
I'll just flash it in front of
them real quick, all right?
If they're intimidated and scared,
then I know it's gonna work.
If not, then I get out
with whatever I got.
Are you a cop?
- No, are you?
- Oh, no.
I touch you,
you touch me.
That's so silly.
What's your name?
- Ed. You are?
- Cathy.
Cathy.
Well, I need to let you
know what's going on, okay?
- You just handed your money to an undercover cop.
- Oh.
- You want to try and make a deal?
- Yeah.
- Do you want me to try and get you out of this?
- Yeah, yeah.
Park the fucking truck.
Now I'm going to tell you,
30 guys went already tonight.
30 are in jail.
Three got let go.
Shut your truck off.
Whoa, why are you
doing it like that?
I'm scared now.
You made me all nervous.
- No, calm down.
- Well, let me... hang on a second.
Oh, no, no, no, let go.
Don't do that, let...
- How come you're taking my keys?
- Hey, close that door.
What are you doing
with my keys?
Stop it! Now you're
getting arrested for assault.
- Why are you taking my keys?
- I'm not. Get back in the truck.
You're getting arrested for assault
now. That's the other detective.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
My sergeant... my sergeant
wants to talk to you. Come on.
Come on, come on.
All right, I'm gonna let
you talk to my sergeant.
- Let me see credentials.
- He's getting it explained to him.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, that's fine. Come on,
my sergeant wants to talk to you.
- Go ahead, yeah.
- I can walk?
Go ahead, I'm not
cuffing him.
Go ahead, he's not
cuffing you.
Wait, wait,
I'm really scared now.
Stop it.
He's not cuffing you.
I just told him
you're free to go.
Do you hear me?
I sent him away.
Come on.
Go ahead, motherfucker.
Bunny, where are you?
He hurt my hand
really bad.
All I got is 20 bucks,
Sebastian.
He got too scared.
He got too scared.
Don't ever...
Don't do that.
What you did,
don't do that no more.
- If I need help, I will say help me.
- Okay.
You scared the living fuck
out of that kid, man.
Look at you and look at me,
we definitely don't look like cops.
But he fucking hurt
my hand though, man.
I had his keys.
He fucking...
Both my fingers were
in his key ring.
I think I'm going to have to dye
my hair during the week... black.
I may have to dye my hair
black for a while, Sebastian,
if this starts
to get too wild
and they start
looking for a blonde.
I'm meeting a guy
in a green maxima,
getting into this car right here and
I'm going to run my scam on him.
Hi, how are you?
I want you to do something to
me so I know you're not a cop.
- What?
- Take out your tit or something.
- Take out my tit?
- Yeah.
Wait, I got too many
shirts on. Where we off to?
Uh, parking lot.
Come here.
Oh, you can't kiss me.
You're gonna catch my cold.
I hope you don't kiss
everyone you meet.
- No, I don't.
- You'll end up getting sores on your mouth.
So you just want what?
Blow jobs?
- Yeah.
- Okay.
Swear to me
you're not a cop.
- I'm not a cop.
- You're not a cop?
- I'm not a cop.
- Okay.
- What do you get, by the way?
- Why, what are you giving?
- 20.
- That's what I figured.
This 20 real?
I'm a detective.
Don't make any sudden moves.
I don't have to cuff
you or nothing, do I?
I don't want no trouble.
I got a family, kids.
Okay, are you ready
to talk to me?
What do you
want me to do?
- Want a deal or you want to go to jail?
- I want a deal.
Okay, we're building
a rehab and a shelter.
You want to make
a donation to that
instead of going to jail
and paying $5,000?
- Yes.
- How much can you donate?
All that I got in my
wallet... about 20.
- No, no.
- How much?
Hundreds, they're spending
hundreds, they're...
Honey, this is all I got.
I mean, not honey.
Excuse me, officer. This
is what I got in my wallet.
You have at least...
What do you have?
Slow down, slow down.
60, wait, 75,
77 and that's 97.
- Pay the 100... okay.
- Okay?
I'll put it in the other.
You promise to never...
Promise to never
come back here.
- Never?
- Never come back on 11th and 12th street, never.
You can pull out. No
one is going to arrest you.
- You don't want to see me in court.
- No, I don't.
You don't look like someone that
belongs there. It was stupid of me
to even be here. Stupid
for a lot of reasons.
Okay.
But it's very nice
of you, $100 or not,
to give me that kind
of opportunity.
This is the last time you'll
be on this street, right?
Yeah, yeah.
I'll see you later.
- Gonna go straight home now, right?
- Yeah.
- I got your word, right?
- Yes.
Goodbye.
Don't look back.
Drive straight out.
Give me my
snapple bottle.
Behave. I hope I don't
ever see you again.
20, 40, 60, 80,
95, 96, 97.
Okay, I thought I had 112.
I had 97.
97 works.
I pulled out my badge...
My two badges.
Which he fucking shit
his pants when I did that.
Then, just to startle him
a little bit,
I pulled out my cuffs.
I said, "I don't have to cuff
you? Do I have to cuff you
or can I trust you
to sit here?"
These work, good idea.
And he fell
right into the palm.
Better cover your ears, I've
got to whistle for Sebastian now.
And this is the part
that fucks up,
when Sebastian's not
where he's supposed to be.
'Cause I'm not going
to look for him.
- All he had was 100 on him. I didn't go further.
- All right.
I just took the 100, 'cause
I'm not really feeling well.
- So I made 97 off him.
- Okay.
- You were nervous, right?
- Yeah.
What the fuck were you
doing over here?
I'm running back to
12th street, back here.
To St. marks, back to
12th street, back here.
Come on,
I want a frappuccino.
Hmm, yeah she made $100,
but it's not going
to last too long.
You know, most of it
is gone already.
'Cause every time we light this
thing up, it's fucking $10 or more.
This is what drugs
is doing to me.
I'm 120 lbs.
I'm nothing.
Sometimes I...
I don't know if I'm
better off dead.
I was sentenced to 30 days
in Rikers island for assault
and I'll end up
spending 18 days in here.
It's miserable.
Miserable, but calming
in the same way.
But miserable,
'cause I'm away from Matt.
So really that misery
overrides everything.
You know, without my man
I'm terrible.
What's up, Coz?
What are you doing?
Who's that?
I'm just writing a letter.
- Who?
- Me.
- To who?
- To my girl.
Oh, what her?
Good shit.
That's good shit, man.
She's gonna be happier
than a pig in shit, Coz.
- You're missing her, ain't you?
- Yeah.
Big time. Write it all in there,
bro. Get it out, you hear me?
Get it out, Matt.
Let that shit ride
in the words.
Get her open.
I know you got it in you.
"To Tracy,
hey mama girl.
It's been too long
since I've heard your voice
or held your hand.
I can't take it out here
without you.
I miss you so much
that I couldn't even sleep
for the first seven days.
You know that song,
'you don't know what you got
till it's gone'?
Well, that's
what I've learned, baby.
I don't ever want to be
apart from you ever again.
And I promise you that we're
gonna be getting married right away.
I promise.
Anyway, hold your head, baby,
and keep me in your prayers.
I love you
and I'm staying strong.
Please, hurry home,
I need you. Love, Matt."
It sucks.
I'm miserable and I'm sad.
I can't focus.
I'm constantly dope sick.
Just two days before she got
arrested, we were arguing so much
that I was like,
"yeah, god,
give me 24 hours
away from this madness."
I regret ever saying that.
Yeah.
I'm looking
for my bag of dope.
Please, god,
anything with dope.
Oh my god,
the dope's gone.
Fuck.
Gone.
I just fucking had it.
I did...
I did have it, right?
This is real shit. I lost my one
and only fucking bag of dope.
How do you lose your one
and only fucking bag?
I don't believe it.
I just had it through all that
fucking ranting and raving act
like a fucking asshole.
I lost it.
Now we backtrack.
I lost it.
It's gone.
It's like a rectangle
white bag.
Yeah, ow!
How you like me now?
Found it!
Right there, baby.
Yeah, you seen that
heart attack I just had?
Two feet from you, baby.
Think that was
a little panic?
Quiet.
Fucking next hit's
gonna be trash.
I want Matt to know
that I miss him so much.
I just... if I cry
about it now,
it's premature
because I still got,
you know, another week
left in this place.
You know what I mean? But I'm
hyper and I can't sleep at night.
And all day I'm just thinking about
I just can't wait to be with Matt.
I just want
to be with Matt.
I know my baby is gonna
be all right once I'm out there.
If anybody asks me, I had to
wait in line for the bathroom.
That's why
it took so long.
Where did you go now? I don't
have no idea where you were.
- I told you where I was going.
- Where were you going?
I was finishing
my stash.
So full of shit. Everyone's
lying to me, man.
You mean you finished
shooting your crack, right?
No, there is no crack
to fucking shoot.
You know something,
Sebastian...
Fucking lying
piece of shit...
Twice you left without
fucking telling me nothing.
You won't disappear if I've got two
fucking hundred bucks in my pocket.
You're right
on my fucking hip.
No!
Sebastian!
I'm done with this shit, I told
you fucking three times today.
Don't fucking leave me
standing anywhere.
I'm not, Michelle.
Fucking you can see me.
You're gonna stop
fucking disrespecting me.
I'll fucking knock
you right the fuck out.
- Go ahead.
- Get your fucking hands off me.
Get your motherfucking
hands off me.
- Don't stick your fingers in my face.
- Get your hands off me, punk.
You're such
a piece of shit, man.
No, come here, motherfucker.
We're taking a...
You son of a bitch! Come
on, you want to fucking go.
Come on,
you cocksucker.
You fucking mother...
that's your thank you, right?
No goodbye, that's
your thank you?
You son of a bitch!
Go and get my stuff,
Sebastian.
Go get my stuff. You
know I need that shit.
- So what?
- Go get my things.
So what?
Say please.
Damn it, man.
Fuck!
My fucking shit.
Just throws
my fucking belongings.
I don't have anything
already and he throws it.
Where is my bag?
I don't even know
where he threw my bag.
Where is my bag?
- Can I have my bag?
- It's over there.
- Thanks.
- You're welcome.
That was so sweet of you.
Oh, by the way, scumbag,
come here,
piece of shit dirt bag.
- You leave me there for the cops to come.
- Let go, let go.
Oh, why? You leave me
there for the cops to come?
- You wanted your break.
- No, listen...
- No!
- You ain't... go ahead!
You know...
You know something...
You fuck!
- You know something...
- take your fucking shit away from me.
Don't you walk away.
I have my...
Yeah!
Today is the day Tracy
gets out of jail.
We're on our way
to go pick her up.
She gave a list of stuff
that she wanted me to have.
Uh, a bag of dope,
a needle,
a hit of crack,
a crack stem and myself.
Well, I got myself.
So she's gonna have
to be happy for that.
Matt!
What's up, baby?
You didn't see me
in my funky little shirt?
Yeah.
Oh, it's coming off.
She's picking up
her money her dad sent her.
Shh-wee!
- First class.
- Where do you want to go?
- Pop the trunk.
- We want to go to 26th and 9th street first.
Pop the trunk.
Just got out of Rikers?
Show time!
Take it all off. See the
outfit? That shit was hot.
- First show me.
- Yeah.
14 bodies, they didn't
find the murder weapon,
so they letting
her come home.
How many people did you
kill and get away with?
- Nobody.
- No one?
We're going to the
projects to cop some coke.
Then we're gonna
go over to the hotel
where we're gonna engage in
some sexual foreplay. Copy?
We're going
to the midtown court.
This program that I'm in
temporarily, five-day program
that I got sentenced
to because I got arrested
for possession of crack
the other night.
And they're offering me
a detox,
which I desperately need.
And, um...
You know, I once...
Sebastian and I talked about it
and we would like
to go together.
- All right.
- All right, good luck.
- I'll see you in a little bit, okay?
- All right.
I'm a nervous wreck.
I'm very, very nervous.
I'm scared for me and Sebastian,
but I know it's the right thing.
Man, we got to get
the fuck out of here.
Or we're not
gonna make it.
Our relationship
isn't gonna make it.
And I love him
and I know that he loves me.
And we can't run
like this anymore.
I can't take being
on the streets anymore.
It's killing me.
I was hoping to make a
referral to your detox program.
If you can call me back, I'd
appreciate it. Thanks, bye-bye.
It's tough without
any medicaid and any ids.
Can I use your phone? Can I
call my son, wappingers falls?
- What's the area code?
- 845.
Anthony?
Hi.
Are you by yourself?
Oh, listen, uh,
can you get my ID
from grandma?
I'm trying to get into
fucking hospital and shit
and no one will take me
without any ID.
If I come up tonight,
can you meet me?
I'm in a lot of trouble.
I have to go into a hospital.
All right, I love you.
- I got accepted to Bailey Seaton.
- Okay.
- For tomorrow morning.
- Great.
But I got to go to
Anthony and get my ID.
That's not so
fucking great, huh?
But I'm not doing
any of that
until you call and get
accepted right now.
Yes, I'd like
to find out
if I can get in as soon as
possible like tomorrow morning.
Yes, if I could.
I can't go
without Sebastian.
Fuck that.
Okay, bye.
Call back at 8:00
in the morning tomorrow.
Sure thing.
- You'll go in, right? You're gonna go?
- Yeah.
- That's where you want to go, right?
- 100%.
Okay, what do you want
to do now?
I'm on my way over
to St. marks right now
'cause I've got to make
some money
'cause I'm going up
to see my son Anthony
and I don't want
to get sick up there.
I have to go up there
and get all my ids
so I can go to the detox
in the morning.
So hopefully this will work out and
I can score some cash right now.
- You're in the St. marks?
- Yeah.
Okay, I'll come up
with you.
What do you want me
to get for you?
You want two 20s,
right?
- Buy four and take two for you.
- But four what?
- Whatever they are... dimes.
- They're 20s.
- Okay.
- Okay, I'll be right back.
Let's go right now. Stop us
a cab, Sebastian, right now.
Let me get in first,
Sebastian.
First I charged him
$20 for the crack.
And then he gave me 40
to go back downstairs
and five to get beer.
So I wound up with $65.
One of these motherfuckers
has to be open.
Come on.
I don't fucking
believe this.
No.
That door looks open
right there... 112.
Yes!
I gave it
to you, remember?
Oh yes you did,
yes you did.
You have cotton?
Yeah, from a cigarette.
We're both getting sicker
as we're doing this.
Can you hear the way
Sebastian is breathing and shit?
Having the dope makes you...
Fuck, man.
- You didn't mix the sets up, did you?
- No.
'Cause I can't have
an old set.
What's wrong
with that needle?
Sebastian?
It's bent.
No shit, dick!
Whose needle is that?
It's mine.
You don't even know, do you?
Whose it is?
It's mine.
Here you go.
This is bent.
Is this the bent?
Yes, the bent one
I thought was yours.
You don't know whose needle
this is, do you? You don't give a fuck.
Yeah, sometimes I forget
that you don't give a fuck.
So, fucking, there
should be water in here.
How much dope
is in there?
Not much, Michelle.
Go ahead, man.
What are you looking at?
You know that I can't do it
in one fucking second like that.
Tell me,
what needle is that?
This one's pretty, uh...
- New? Can I use it?
- Yeah.
This one doesn't even have numbers
on it and you're ready to give it to me.
Can you stand here now?
Shit. I'm not going
to be able to do this.
I'm not going to be able
to use this fucking needle.
If this works,
it's a miracle.
This ain't gonna work. This
fucking thing is retardedly bent.
I can't fucking hear a word
you're saying, Sebastian.
Don't even
fucking talk to me.
You don't give a fuck as
long as you're fucking straight.
The shit is not even
fucking draining out, man.
Fuck!
Shit.
I am sick, Sebastian. Are
you're just gonna stand there?
It's all right,
Michelle.
Oh, okay, I feel
much fucking better now.
Okay, Sebastian, I'm using the other
fucking needle and it ain't working.
Any fucking suggestions?
Oh my god.
Fucking shit!
God damn it!
All my dope
is almost gone, Sebastian.
Did you save any for me?
The same fucking
word game, okay?
Okay?
Get out of my fucking way.
Michelle.
Hands.
- Put your foot in here.
- No.
Put your foot in here.
You'll freeze.
I'm going to shoot
some crystal.
Feel me.
Oh, she's schizzing, oh.
Oh, fuck.
That's the first time
I ever shot crystal meth.
Why am I on the ground?
You want to stand up?
Slowly.
I can't really do it.
My legs are sleeping.
Oh gosh,
what happened?
How come I don't know
what happened, Sebastian?
- Where's the train, Sebastian?
- Right over here.
Honey, I can't go fast.
I'm scared.
I'm not. I'm gonna
stand right in front of you.
- Are we almost there?
- Hmm.
Oh, are we almost there?!
About 10 more and a couple
more around the corner.
42nd, transfer above
to shuttles 1, 2, 3 and 7.
I can't believe that
I am not on my way up
to see my fucking son.
Collect call
from Michelle, please.
Can you light this for me,
Sebastian? Or are you busy?
Anthony, what time is it?
If I get on the train right
now, can you stay there?
'Cause I can't go to
the hospital without ID
and I really
fucking need to.
Can you just go
to school late?
Okay, so then you'll take
the whole fucking day off.
I will go to the school
and tell them you're with me.
He's saying that
he gets off at 12:00.
We'll meet him at 12:00
then, if he can...
How am I supposed to call
the motherfucking detox at 8:00?
We'll call them at 8:00.
They'll hold the bed till 5:00.
You're sure
of this, right?
I'm not positive, but...
Bring my purse.
Don't forget my purse.
I love you, Anthony.
I really got to go there.
I really got to go.
I gotta go into
that detox.
Well, we're almost up
in new Hamburg
to see Anthony.
I'm really nervous.
I'm so nervous
about everything.
I wish Sebastian
was with me.
This is Anthony,
my son.
My 17-year-old.
My best friend.
He's my son
from my husband
who passed away.
His father
was a drug addict.
He overdosed at the time
I wasn't here.
I was in
Florida prison.
And I couldn't be
with Anthony.
And...
It didn't matter who was
with him, he just wanted me
and I couldn't be here.
But he got
his little suit on
and went down
to the funeral.
He gave his dad
a kiss goodbye.
He was...
He was crushed.
He's been through a lot,
Anthony.
I've always hoped
she would get better.
I'm used to her
not getting better though.
Like she'll come up
for a while and leave.
It don't affect me
anymore really.
I just deal with whatever, you
know, I've to got to deal with.
If she gets better,
I'm happy,
but if she don't,
like I'm used to it.
This happened
lots of times.
Oh, that person's leaving.
I hope that's not Anthony.
They didn't even
get out of the car.
That might be Anthony.
I got to get down here
in case it's him.
I came up today
to get my ID
- because I have to go into a detox.
- Yeah.
'Cause I've been in the
streets for six months.
But in the past week it's been
the worst time of my fucking life.
I... I just want
to go in the hospital.
Okay.
- Okay, all right, ant.
- Well, I'll call you.
You're gonna call the hospital
and whatnot and check on me, right?
- Yeah.
- Thanks for bringing... giving me my ID.
- All right.
- I love you.
Love you too.
- I'll call the hospital later.
- All right, honey.
- Bye, ant.
- Bye.
Oh my god!
Oh my god!
Oh he's...
Oh god!
Well, I got the ID
and my pocketbook
from Anthony.
And I'm heading
back down to the city
to go to the detox.
Hopefully
I can find Sebastian.
Grand central terminal,
final stop.
Have a good evening
and a good weekend.
Hi, this is
Michelle boswell calling.
Hi, I'm supposed
to be coming tonight.
Um, I was supposed
to call
when I arrived
at grand central.
Okay, bellevue is closer.
Can I go there?
Because see, what I'm trying
to do is I'm trying not to stop
and... and get
detoured.
'Cause I'm really getting
dope sick right now.
Yeah.
All right, thank you.
Okay, bye-bye.
I'm scared.
I don't have my boyfriend
with me.
He's supposed to come and
do this with me and he's not.
God, Sebastian,
please be at this detox.
I just don't have it in me
to go look for him.
I don't have it in me
to go steal.
I'm getting sick. I just
wanna go be safe somewhere.
I'm scared.
Really scared.
But I don't want to...
I don't want to be
out here anymore.
I can't do it no more.
Dad, call when you get your
parking spot in New York.
Okay, bye.
You can tell
she gets a little antsy.
She wants everything
to be perfect, you know?
She fears that,
you know,
when her dad sees her
that he's gonna see,
you know, the hard time
she's having.
- How was your driving?
- Dad!
- Crazy as usual, you know.
- Hey, dad.
- Hi, Tracy. You didn't drink this time, did you?
- No.
We put some change in the
meter 'cause the parking lady...
Dad, we held this spot
for you for like a half hour.
Okay, uh...
- What we have is a...
- oh, we're going to be triplets.
We got a birthday jacket for Matt
because it was his birthday yesterday.
- Thanks a lot.
- That's fun.
Just 'cause you look like me, you're
not me. They're the same jacket.
Try it on, Mattie.
Look, Matt,
we're gonna be twins.
Oh, three-quarter,
that's what's up.
There's other stuff in here
later, Tracy, if you want to look.
Some cool stuff in here.
Those grey sweaters,
that's my color too.
- Lock up the trunk, dad.
- Okay, now...
Is there anything in the car
that should be locked up?
- No, how long are we good for?
- An hour.
- Matt?
- Yes.
Matt, they've got it
on sale for $1.99.
Just check how long until...
Just concentrate towards that.
This is what we do now
because we don't get high.
So we got to find
other things to do.
- You know what...
- We do videogames.
But this is good. When you
were a kid you did videogames.
It was healthy for you.
You learn from videogames.
Know what you learn? You got a
lot of time on your hands when you
stop getting high. There's
a lot of time in the day.
You know a job can really
fill your time pretty good.
With my daughter, Christmas
seems to come every other day.
- Thank you.
- Have a good night.
"Dear Tracy, I am so glad
you are doing so much better.
Best of luck. I will be
e-mailing you. I love you always.
Please keep in touch with me.
Love, your aunt supporter.
I believe in you,
I always will
and I know you will succeed.
Judy."
That's great.
It's my coolest aunt too.
As much as she thinks
the world has turned her off
or she's turned off
the world,
there are people that want
her to make it and come back.
And I'll also help you, Matthew,
because sometimes in your life
there's no real strong
male figure.
We'll help you as much
as we can, but we can't do it
without your help.
Money means nothing if
you lose your child for life.
And in the long run,
we still could lose Tracy
or we could lose Matthew.
But to give up
without trying
and not put out
every effort you can
to help them get back,
uh, I think that's
the whole thing about
being a parent.
You brought this person
into the world,
you do your best to make
sure that they survive this world.
And if they fall down,
you help them.
- You want some?
- Yeah.
- How oily is it now?
- Not at all.
Today we're moving into our
new place over in Brooklyn.
It's Matt and I's first apartment
together and it's a huge place.
We really lucked out
and got a great place.
My dad's helping us
furnish... we're furnishing it.
This is very significant. This is
gonna be our home together for a while.
This is going to be
the home we get married in.
For the first time, we don't have to
use a credit card to enter this door.
We have keys.
See that?
That's door number one.
Ching, Ching.
- This system is incredible.
- And my dad got us
40 or 50 DVDs to start out
a collection, so we...
And every time
he comes, trust me,
it's like his sweaters. He's
going to come with 10 of them.
If you look in my closet,
we've got 600 sweaters.
- You think I'm kidding? Come here.
- Where?
This is our sweater closet.
It's all sweaters.
If you look behind
my bed over there,
there's four more big
garbage bags... sweaters!
We're thoroughly
sick and tired
of that
lifestyle out there.
This isn't a whim and this
isn't to humor my father.
This is what we want.
Matt and I still have some
issues we got to work on,
but those things
are lessening
and the positive things are,
you know, just more and more so.
- I'm not worried about it. I'm not concerned at all.
- Oh yeah.
- Hello?
- I'm sorry to bother you. I forgot my key.
Can you let me in?
I live on the fourth floor.
- Who is it?
- O'brien.
Thank you.
I miss Michelle.
We always come here together.
I wasn't really planning on
leaving or anything like that.
I just got fucking...
I just got...
Nodded out
and when I woke up
it was like an hour later.
And,
you know, I kept losing
sense of direction.
I knew Michelle would have
been really mad at me.
So I didn't bother
going anywhere.
I'm fucking freezing.
How could he have
a conscience?
Look at the fucking
weather.
And where is he?
And is he wondering
where I am freezing?
Where's Sebastian, under
a fucking quilt right now
snuggled up
with a dick up his ass?
Hi, Alvin.
It's Sebastian.
Hey, can I come over?
All right.
What's your...
What's the number
of your building?
Okay, I'll see you soon.
When Michelle
is not with me sometimes
I can't find a place
to stay, I...
I call people
like this person
and I hang out with them
and get high or whatever.
And sometimes, I...
You know,
if it's all right,
I end up staying for the night if
they don't bother me and I feel...
I feel safe.
It's so fucking cold.
Like a hallway like this...
This ain't warm, man.
I wake up,
I'm fucking freezing.
I mean, it felt good in
that detox the other night.
You know, to get into a
fucking bed... two days of that.
It's the worse
that it's ever been.
The crack is just killing me.
It's killing me.
And I don't know
how to stop.
If I want to stop.
I mean, I'm sure
I want to stop.
'Cause who the fuck
wants to live like this?
I mean I'm not in love
with Sebastian anymore.
Which i...
I can't even believe that.
I mean, you know
how much I loved him.
Oh my god, he was
my life. Which he still is.
I mean I'd do anything
for him, but...
With the drugs just...
There's nothing there.
Right now,
it's too fucking cold.
I'm going on the train.
Just ride back and forth
all night.
It's a rough place
to stay warm
because the cops
give you a really hard time.
When I was a little girl,
I remember
seeing this,
like on TV, you know?
I was thinking
about it the other day.
You know,
like this grand central
and the homeless people.
I was thinking about that
the other day and then I said,
"I'm part of this.
I am part of that now."
What I used to look
at when I was a little girl,
these people saying,
"how could they sleep there?
Well, how come
they don't have a bed?"
And I'm living it now.
Fucking shit!
- Yeah, you like uncircumcised guys, right?
- Yeah.
You're the best, man.
80, 100, 20, 40, 60.
No, come here,
motherfucker, we're taking a...
God, give me 24 hours
away from this madness.
Talk to you.
I'm filling out
this western union slip
to receive money
from my father
and...
Get Matt and I's day
started.
A lot of times, Matt needs
a boost to start the day.
$100!
Let's go.
Let's go, jeeves.
My bags.
What are you doing?
Now, I've already called the
crack dealer and the dope dealer.
We're going to 15th and 6th
to meet the crack dealer,
then we're going to Horatio and
Washington meet the dope dealer.
Then we're going to the spot to
shoot the dope, smoke the crack,
fuck some pussy,
eat some dick.
Get a hotel room.
- I'm about to tear that ass up, girl.
- Do that again.
- I'm about to tear that ass up, girl.
- Meow!
Monday he sent her 500.
Tuesday he sent her 300.
Ay.
And (
Is only Wednesday.
She's almost going on
$1,000 already.
She's gonna pick lock the
door, see if she can get in
so we can go in there
and get high.
This is for you.
Fucking in.
I got introduced
to heroin when I was 17
in high school,
private school I went to,
reneaux academy,
my senior year.
But I sniffed it
till I met Matt,
entirely confident I could
go back to just sniffing it.
The difference
is just the rush.
You're ready to walk
out of here?
Huh... come on.
We have to get somebody
to open the door for us.
It's usually
much easier than this.
We've never had
that much problem.
No, okay.
Thanks.
You've got the wrong
apartment.
Okay.
- Michelle.
- Yes.
Can I use your lighter, buddy? I
don't know what I did with mine.
- This is the one you gave me.
- Okay.
- Are you okay, Sebastian?
- Yeah.
- Here you go.
- Cool, thank you.
I worry about Sebastian
shooting the crack,
because what he's doing is a
lot more intense than smoking it...
As you can see.
Now... now watch him.
He'll start to get very
nervous in a few minutes.
- You okay, Sebastian?
- Yeah.
- No blood on me anywhere?
- No blood.
All right.
Okay. Hello.
What I do is, uh...
I talk with men...
See, they... they...
Where we're going
is where they pick
up girls,
St. marks place.
It's a hotel.
Crackhead girls
hang out there.
Drug addicts
hang out there
and men come
to pick up dates there.
These girls settle
for nothing.
If you tell them a hit of
crack, they'll suck your dick.
I have a lot of
problems because
I name a high price
for basically nothing,
'cause I'm trying
to Rob your money anyway.
I... I hate it,
'cause I know, so you know
sometimes she can
get away with it
and sometimes she has
to do something for it.
And she's my girlfriend
and I don't like other guys
putting their hands
on her.
We think I'm trying to do
this to get us off the streets.
In our brain,
we believe that
because we're drug addicts
and we're dreamers.
Because every dime is
going on drugs. It really is.
I mean I've been on the
streets about nine days now.
I'd say I made
about $1,200.
I don't... I don't even have
money for cigarettes right now.
And it really,
really sucks.
- You're coming down off that stuff, right, hon?
- Yeah.
- So if you hear my whistle...
- Yeah.
Trying to make your
money out here? I hear you.
Yeah.
Is that your man across
the street watching you?
A couple of people
make sure I'm okay.
That's good. That's
the way it should be.
Now if we do anything else
but smoke, is it going to cost me?
Yeah, if you think you're
going to pay me in crack,
that's not how
I like to get paid.
No, excuse me,
I'm talking straight up.
Yeah, I need
to make cash.
I understand that. I'm
talking straight up, okay?
Yeah, Michelle got in
the car with her John.
I just hope
that she doesn't...
She doesn't have
to do anything
you know, sexual.
What happened?
What happened was...
I kept asking him, well,
what is it that you want?
And he was like,
"well I like 69.
I like blow jobs.
I want sex."
- But he didn't give me no money yet, babe.
- Right.
- So now I can't do nothing. I got no money.
- Right.
What am I gonna say? All
right, you like all that, that's nice.
So then finally I said, "how
much am I gonna get paid for this?"
He said, "I'll give you
100." I said, "sure, okay."
I said, "aren't you going to give
me the money to pay for the hotel?
'Cause I can get it cheaper,
'cause I know the guy."
He handed me the $40
and that's when I said,
"you just handed your money
to an undercover cop."
He said,
"okay, all right."
I said, "pull over right
now. Pull the fuck over."
I spent 40 on crack,
I spent 18 on cigarettes,
I spent 10 in the deli.
20, 40, 60,
80, 100,
20, 40, 60.
- So 160 and...
- 220, 220.
We made 220 on that.
Money that comes that way,
you cannot hold onto it.
It just slips out of
your fingers and goes,
you know, it walks into the
fucking crack spot by itself.
You know, the basement
is actually cool too.
You wanna go to the top
or the basement?
All right, guys,
I have my pipe stashed
in my pocket
between my butt cheeks,
not in my butt.
That's reserved
for the tricks.
I fell in love with him
at first sight.
He didn't
like me when we first met.
He told everybody around the
park to avoid me, that I'm trouble,
that I'm daddy's
little rich girl.
Yeah, that I run around
with daddy's money.
That I'm not a real
drug addict, I'm a fake.
If I'm daddy's rich girl, then he's every
homo's little fucking boy toy out here.
Matt is trying to look
lonely and pathetic.
That's when the tricks
approach him.
They know exactly
what they're getting...
Straight guys that are out
here trying to make money.
It's amazing. You will see guys
come out here, thousands of dollars,
meet one of these hustlers. The
hustlers will get them smoking crack.
Three days later you'll see these guys on
the park bench dead broke, can't get home.
I don't think he's gonna have too
much success on the street itself.
I think calls will be
the most successful thing.
Matt, why don't you
try a phone?
Hey, baby, what's up?
It's Matthew calling to get
my weekly butt washing.
I'm in the neighborhood
partying, getting it on,
so I thought maybe I could do it
a little safe and have some fun.
All right. I'm
feeling young. Bye.
- That's good. I said that's good.
- Oh, that's good?
You're the best, man.
We have a good
time together.
All right, gotta go.
- Okay.
- Talk to you.
Thanks a lot, Scott.
- Okay, have a good night.
- Bye, bye.
Tracy ain't from
this world, you know?
This is all new to her.
I mean she's never even seen
this side of life
until she met me
a year ago.
Sometimes I feel that he's
exerting so much effort and energy
into enticing
and landing these tricks
that he doesn't have
anything left for me, you know?
I mean, it's the same thing
about sex.
I always feel that sexually,
that's what he does for a living.
So it's the last thing he
really wants to even, you know,
uh, address or deal with
when he's with me.
You can get trapped
and caught up in this lifestyle.
And once you cross
a certain boundary,
it's like there's
no turning back, you know?
This is the only life I know.
I've been here since I was 14.
I was in a car accident
when I was 12
that wiped out any memory
I have of my childhood.
So I only remember
as far as 12 years and older.
And since I'm 12, I was
scalping tickets to the garden.
13, you know,
started moving downtown
with the cons
and the... the hustles
in penn station
sweet-talking
people out of money,
all the way down into
greenwich village
hustling homos.
You know, so I've been
here all my life.
This has been
everything I know.
So Colin, my friend,
what's up?
What's happening
with you?
You like uncircumcised
guys as I recall, right?
Yeah.
Yeah, I like redheads.
- Redheads?
- Yeah.
I'm close to it,
blond.
So why don't we hang out
for a little bit?
I don't know. How much
money do you want?
- How much can you give me?
- 20.
30?
- Okay.
- Come on.
You have to call
before you come over.
- I never come uninvited.
- Don't worry about that.
He's sucking my dick
and I'm thinking about what am I gonna
do as soon as I get the money, you know.
That's the only way
I'm able to...
To focus I guess and...
And do what I gotta do
because...
I kind of like put myself
out of there.
I'm not...
I'm there, but I'm really...
Mentally I try to like
be somewhere else.
This is why
our relationship sucks,
because we're not boyfriend
and girlfriend anymore.
We're... we're running
partners, you know?
And it's like,
I'm very good to Sebastian,
even though
I'm poisoning him.
Can I come down, babe?
When we first met, we
didn't get high together at all.
And we always used to say,
when we get high together
it's over.
My husband overdosed
and died
and my boyfriend
overdosed and died.
I've overdosed
plenty of times.
I don't know
if I could survive a third.
I'm spending the day
at my ma's house.
I won't do drugs
around my mother.
I think it would kill her if she
knew I was shooting heroin.
We can take this one.
I haven't been
down this way in years.
It's a burnt out
fucking nigger town.
The ghetto, the slums.
But my mom's block
is probably the only block...
Fucking white block in this
neighborhood and that's changed.
I think she's the only
white family now.
But I grew up here.
I love it. I love it.
This is westside cemetery.
I used to smoke dust in there
when I was like 11 years old.
It'll be okay, come on.
This was the first house
my mom moved into
when she moved
to this block.
All the work, the aluminum siding
and everything, my father did everything.
He had a heart attack
a couple of months ago.
He died a couple
of months ago.
You know I got
love for you.
You better have
money for me.
This is my mom,
Dorothy Calhoun.
This is her dream.
She's always wanted a house.
She got one
on the same block
she can't seem to get off
of for the last 15 years.
I'm here for at least 30 years
until the house is paid off at least.
It's going to be that long?
Yeah, but I'll leave the bills
for you. What are you doing?
- I'm throwing away that old...
- No, Matt, not here.
Ma, it's a cheesecake thing.
You don't need that.
Matthew, this is recycling.
This is mail to go in
the mailbox, thank you.
Some cocoa pebbles,
I love it.
She still keeps
the best cereal.
Don't cry over spilt milk.
There's Matthew too.
Hey, Matthew.
I was two years old there,
He was a good child.
He was
an a-number-one baby.
- Who me?
- Yep, you were.
And then you grew up.
- Look at Andrew.
- Who's this?
This is me and my son
at my grandmother's.
I was seeing him
every weekend then.
My little man.
I haven't seen him
in like nine months.
I can't... I can't deal
with any of it anymore.
- Huh?
- I said I can't deal with your rough life anymore.
- You know something, ma?
- I lived with it for too long.
You know what, ma?
I almost can't deal
with it anymore.
I'm getting tired of it.
- Go home, go home, go home.
- All right.
- I love you, ma.
- I love you too. Go.
I'll talk to you in a week.
- Love you.
- Love you too. Be good.
Yeah, because I don't want
to go back to fucking hell.
That was so normal.
- We have to... babe, babe, babe...
- we got to get dope.
- We got no money.
- If you call your father
and your father
guarantees you tomorrow
we'll go right to Terry's.
She does nothing for him,
she brings him down.
He brings her down, she
brings him down, whichever.
You know, they do
nothing for each other.
Oh my god, baby.
That gets me nervous.
If she your girl,
why the fuck
is she fucking
every pipehead out here?
Why the fuck she inviting me to
some apartment up in fucking Harlem?
- Maybe she was horny that day.
- Get the fuck outta here.
- Shit happens, you know.
- Yeah, and that's your girl?
- And that's your girl?
- That's my girl!
I'm telling you it's my girl.
In my heart it's my girl.
You about to turn on me.
You a fake motherfucker.
I'll fuck that
bitch up right now.
- No you won't.
- No I won't?
- I'm telling you you won't.
- What?
- I'm telling you.
- You want to do something too?
I'm telling you
you won't, Shawn.
- What you want to do?
- I'm telling you.
- What you want to do now?
- You want to fight with me?
You're turning
on your brother?
- If you're gonna turn on me, then that shit is dead.
- It's dead then.
- Then it's dead. You a fake motherfucker.
- Call it what you want.
- A fake motherfucker.
- Call it what you want.
But when your bitch comes up
missing, come and see me.
When she comes up missing,
come and see me.
His brother's rarely there,
if ever,
to contribute anything positive
or beneficial to Matt's life.
Yet at the same time,
he cares so deeply about Matt
and is so, you know,
worried
about Matt's life
and Matt's well-being
that he's trying to protect Matt from
being with me, because, you know,
I'm not good for Matt.
I'll just write him off.
Just like that.
The fight between me
and my brother
is actually the fight between him
and them drugs that he's doing.
That's what's going
to kill him.
It seems like he's living
a suicidal mission.
This is not the same drug.
Fuck, man.
The garbage is empty
and those are probably
fucking sopping wet, babe.
Sebastian is looking through
the garbage for receipts right now
because we don't have any money
and we want to get some drugs.
So he's gonna
get receipts
and we're going to the store
and return the merchandise.
Sometimes he has to go through
three or four bags of garbage
before he can find
a receipt.
It's kind of just like
any other scam, you know?
Some days work out smooth,
some don't.
Here we go.
Here we go, Sebastian.
Good evening.
I have a question for you.
I bought something
in your store.
Is it possible I can return
it in a different d'Agostino?
Thank you, sir.
Are you looking,
Sebastian?
You know, we're going
to get caught.
Here, here we go.
Hold this. Just hold it.
Uh, I'm returning this.
My mother-in-law
just called the store
a few minutes ago. I don't
know who she spoke to.
- Let me see this.
- Here you go.
Lewis, she went to greenwich.
She's returning this.
She just called the store.
She said she spoke
to a woman.
So you don't know if
anyone took that call...
That she spoke to a woman?
- No.
- No, huh?
That figures.
Okay. That's bullshit.
I mean what the fuck,
Sebastian?
You did not call that store. You
called the store on that receipt.
Yes, I did.
No wonder why. That is not
the store that's on the receipt.
I didn't have that number.
So you just do
what you want
and send me in somewhere
with fucked up information, right?
I never told you.
Well, that's how
I took it, Sebastian.
You know, common sense...
I would think
you would call the store
that I'm going into.
You know, maybe
I'm not fucking normal,
but that's what I would
think that you were doing,
not calling a different store and then sending
me into the store that you didn't call.
So this is my fault
and then I Rob the store.
That was even better. And
then I Rob the fucking store.
Do you understand I could
go to fucking jail
for a year for a fucking
bottle of tide?
What are we gonna do
for money, Sebastian?
I don't want to pick
in fucking garbage, man.
Fucking disgusting.
Oh, oh, fuck.
- Sebastian, I got a frame for $14.99.
- What is it?
Just a picture frame.
4x6, that's small, right?
- $14.99.
- Holy shit, hell yeah.
Got it.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I think so, 'cause
I took the call.
The guy who
returned a phone,
he was like,
"it didn't sound right."
I said, "the phone
was never opened."
Thank you.
Did you magically
use this box?
He just left.
Okay.
I think I got 15.
I got bullshit.
This is nothing.
Look, my feet hurt.
I need dope.
What are we gonna do,
Sebastian?
'Cause I need like piles
of money, forget this shit.
But a hit of crack
will do for now.
Babe, listen, we got to go over
to St. marks and make money.
I'm going to use
the badge tonight,
the NYPD money clip that looks
like the badge I got from that John.
- Yeah.
- So I can pretend that I'm a detective.
I'll just flash it in front of
them real quick, all right?
If they're intimidated and scared,
then I know it's gonna work.
If not, then I get out
with whatever I got.
Are you a cop?
- No, are you?
- Oh, no.
I touch you,
you touch me.
That's so silly.
What's your name?
- Ed. You are?
- Cathy.
Cathy.
Well, I need to let you
know what's going on, okay?
- You just handed your money to an undercover cop.
- Oh.
- You want to try and make a deal?
- Yeah.
- Do you want me to try and get you out of this?
- Yeah, yeah.
Park the fucking truck.
Now I'm going to tell you,
30 guys went already tonight.
30 are in jail.
Three got let go.
Shut your truck off.
Whoa, why are you
doing it like that?
I'm scared now.
You made me all nervous.
- No, calm down.
- Well, let me... hang on a second.
Oh, no, no, no, let go.
Don't do that, let...
- How come you're taking my keys?
- Hey, close that door.
What are you doing
with my keys?
Stop it! Now you're
getting arrested for assault.
- Why are you taking my keys?
- I'm not. Get back in the truck.
You're getting arrested for assault
now. That's the other detective.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
My sergeant... my sergeant
wants to talk to you. Come on.
Come on, come on.
All right, I'm gonna let
you talk to my sergeant.
- Let me see credentials.
- He's getting it explained to him.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, that's fine. Come on,
my sergeant wants to talk to you.
- Go ahead, yeah.
- I can walk?
Go ahead, I'm not
cuffing him.
Go ahead, he's not
cuffing you.
Wait, wait,
I'm really scared now.
Stop it.
He's not cuffing you.
I just told him
you're free to go.
Do you hear me?
I sent him away.
Come on.
Go ahead, motherfucker.
Bunny, where are you?
He hurt my hand
really bad.
All I got is 20 bucks,
Sebastian.
He got too scared.
He got too scared.
Don't ever...
Don't do that.
What you did,
don't do that no more.
- If I need help, I will say help me.
- Okay.
You scared the living fuck
out of that kid, man.
Look at you and look at me,
we definitely don't look like cops.
But he fucking hurt
my hand though, man.
I had his keys.
He fucking...
Both my fingers were
in his key ring.
I think I'm going to have to dye
my hair during the week... black.
I may have to dye my hair
black for a while, Sebastian,
if this starts
to get too wild
and they start
looking for a blonde.
I'm meeting a guy
in a green maxima,
getting into this car right here and
I'm going to run my scam on him.
Hi, how are you?
I want you to do something to
me so I know you're not a cop.
- What?
- Take out your tit or something.
- Take out my tit?
- Yeah.
Wait, I got too many
shirts on. Where we off to?
Uh, parking lot.
Come here.
Oh, you can't kiss me.
You're gonna catch my cold.
I hope you don't kiss
everyone you meet.
- No, I don't.
- You'll end up getting sores on your mouth.
So you just want what?
Blow jobs?
- Yeah.
- Okay.
Swear to me
you're not a cop.
- I'm not a cop.
- You're not a cop?
- I'm not a cop.
- Okay.
- What do you get, by the way?
- Why, what are you giving?
- 20.
- That's what I figured.
This 20 real?
I'm a detective.
Don't make any sudden moves.
I don't have to cuff
you or nothing, do I?
I don't want no trouble.
I got a family, kids.
Okay, are you ready
to talk to me?
What do you
want me to do?
- Want a deal or you want to go to jail?
- I want a deal.
Okay, we're building
a rehab and a shelter.
You want to make
a donation to that
instead of going to jail
and paying $5,000?
- Yes.
- How much can you donate?
All that I got in my
wallet... about 20.
- No, no.
- How much?
Hundreds, they're spending
hundreds, they're...
Honey, this is all I got.
I mean, not honey.
Excuse me, officer. This
is what I got in my wallet.
You have at least...
What do you have?
Slow down, slow down.
60, wait, 75,
77 and that's 97.
- Pay the 100... okay.
- Okay?
I'll put it in the other.
You promise to never...
Promise to never
come back here.
- Never?
- Never come back on 11th and 12th street, never.
You can pull out. No
one is going to arrest you.
- You don't want to see me in court.
- No, I don't.
You don't look like someone that
belongs there. It was stupid of me
to even be here. Stupid
for a lot of reasons.
Okay.
But it's very nice
of you, $100 or not,
to give me that kind
of opportunity.
This is the last time you'll
be on this street, right?
Yeah, yeah.
I'll see you later.
- Gonna go straight home now, right?
- Yeah.
- I got your word, right?
- Yes.
Goodbye.
Don't look back.
Drive straight out.
Give me my
snapple bottle.
Behave. I hope I don't
ever see you again.
20, 40, 60, 80,
95, 96, 97.
Okay, I thought I had 112.
I had 97.
97 works.
I pulled out my badge...
My two badges.
Which he fucking shit
his pants when I did that.
Then, just to startle him
a little bit,
I pulled out my cuffs.
I said, "I don't have to cuff
you? Do I have to cuff you
or can I trust you
to sit here?"
These work, good idea.
And he fell
right into the palm.
Better cover your ears, I've
got to whistle for Sebastian now.
And this is the part
that fucks up,
when Sebastian's not
where he's supposed to be.
'Cause I'm not going
to look for him.
- All he had was 100 on him. I didn't go further.
- All right.
I just took the 100, 'cause
I'm not really feeling well.
- So I made 97 off him.
- Okay.
- You were nervous, right?
- Yeah.
What the fuck were you
doing over here?
I'm running back to
12th street, back here.
To St. marks, back to
12th street, back here.
Come on,
I want a frappuccino.
Hmm, yeah she made $100,
but it's not going
to last too long.
You know, most of it
is gone already.
'Cause every time we light this
thing up, it's fucking $10 or more.
This is what drugs
is doing to me.
I'm 120 lbs.
I'm nothing.
Sometimes I...
I don't know if I'm
better off dead.
I was sentenced to 30 days
in Rikers island for assault
and I'll end up
spending 18 days in here.
It's miserable.
Miserable, but calming
in the same way.
But miserable,
'cause I'm away from Matt.
So really that misery
overrides everything.
You know, without my man
I'm terrible.
What's up, Coz?
What are you doing?
Who's that?
I'm just writing a letter.
- Who?
- Me.
- To who?
- To my girl.
Oh, what her?
Good shit.
That's good shit, man.
She's gonna be happier
than a pig in shit, Coz.
- You're missing her, ain't you?
- Yeah.
Big time. Write it all in there,
bro. Get it out, you hear me?
Get it out, Matt.
Let that shit ride
in the words.
Get her open.
I know you got it in you.
"To Tracy,
hey mama girl.
It's been too long
since I've heard your voice
or held your hand.
I can't take it out here
without you.
I miss you so much
that I couldn't even sleep
for the first seven days.
You know that song,
'you don't know what you got
till it's gone'?
Well, that's
what I've learned, baby.
I don't ever want to be
apart from you ever again.
And I promise you that we're
gonna be getting married right away.
I promise.
Anyway, hold your head, baby,
and keep me in your prayers.
I love you
and I'm staying strong.
Please, hurry home,
I need you. Love, Matt."
It sucks.
I'm miserable and I'm sad.
I can't focus.
I'm constantly dope sick.
Just two days before she got
arrested, we were arguing so much
that I was like,
"yeah, god,
give me 24 hours
away from this madness."
I regret ever saying that.
Yeah.
I'm looking
for my bag of dope.
Please, god,
anything with dope.
Oh my god,
the dope's gone.
Fuck.
Gone.
I just fucking had it.
I did...
I did have it, right?
This is real shit. I lost my one
and only fucking bag of dope.
How do you lose your one
and only fucking bag?
I don't believe it.
I just had it through all that
fucking ranting and raving act
like a fucking asshole.
I lost it.
Now we backtrack.
I lost it.
It's gone.
It's like a rectangle
white bag.
Yeah, ow!
How you like me now?
Found it!
Right there, baby.
Yeah, you seen that
heart attack I just had?
Two feet from you, baby.
Think that was
a little panic?
Quiet.
Fucking next hit's
gonna be trash.
I want Matt to know
that I miss him so much.
I just... if I cry
about it now,
it's premature
because I still got,
you know, another week
left in this place.
You know what I mean? But I'm
hyper and I can't sleep at night.
And all day I'm just thinking about
I just can't wait to be with Matt.
I just want
to be with Matt.
I know my baby is gonna
be all right once I'm out there.
If anybody asks me, I had to
wait in line for the bathroom.
That's why
it took so long.
Where did you go now? I don't
have no idea where you were.
- I told you where I was going.
- Where were you going?
I was finishing
my stash.
So full of shit. Everyone's
lying to me, man.
You mean you finished
shooting your crack, right?
No, there is no crack
to fucking shoot.
You know something,
Sebastian...
Fucking lying
piece of shit...
Twice you left without
fucking telling me nothing.
You won't disappear if I've got two
fucking hundred bucks in my pocket.
You're right
on my fucking hip.
No!
Sebastian!
I'm done with this shit, I told
you fucking three times today.
Don't fucking leave me
standing anywhere.
I'm not, Michelle.
Fucking you can see me.
You're gonna stop
fucking disrespecting me.
I'll fucking knock
you right the fuck out.
- Go ahead.
- Get your fucking hands off me.
Get your motherfucking
hands off me.
- Don't stick your fingers in my face.
- Get your hands off me, punk.
You're such
a piece of shit, man.
No, come here, motherfucker.
We're taking a...
You son of a bitch! Come
on, you want to fucking go.
Come on,
you cocksucker.
You fucking mother...
that's your thank you, right?
No goodbye, that's
your thank you?
You son of a bitch!
Go and get my stuff,
Sebastian.
Go get my stuff. You
know I need that shit.
- So what?
- Go get my things.
So what?
Say please.
Damn it, man.
Fuck!
My fucking shit.
Just throws
my fucking belongings.
I don't have anything
already and he throws it.
Where is my bag?
I don't even know
where he threw my bag.
Where is my bag?
- Can I have my bag?
- It's over there.
- Thanks.
- You're welcome.
That was so sweet of you.
Oh, by the way, scumbag,
come here,
piece of shit dirt bag.
- You leave me there for the cops to come.
- Let go, let go.
Oh, why? You leave me
there for the cops to come?
- You wanted your break.
- No, listen...
- No!
- You ain't... go ahead!
You know...
You know something...
You fuck!
- You know something...
- take your fucking shit away from me.
Don't you walk away.
I have my...
Yeah!
Today is the day Tracy
gets out of jail.
We're on our way
to go pick her up.
She gave a list of stuff
that she wanted me to have.
Uh, a bag of dope,
a needle,
a hit of crack,
a crack stem and myself.
Well, I got myself.
So she's gonna have
to be happy for that.
Matt!
What's up, baby?
You didn't see me
in my funky little shirt?
Yeah.
Oh, it's coming off.
She's picking up
her money her dad sent her.
Shh-wee!
- First class.
- Where do you want to go?
- Pop the trunk.
- We want to go to 26th and 9th street first.
Pop the trunk.
Just got out of Rikers?
Show time!
Take it all off. See the
outfit? That shit was hot.
- First show me.
- Yeah.
14 bodies, they didn't
find the murder weapon,
so they letting
her come home.
How many people did you
kill and get away with?
- Nobody.
- No one?
We're going to the
projects to cop some coke.
Then we're gonna
go over to the hotel
where we're gonna engage in
some sexual foreplay. Copy?
We're going
to the midtown court.
This program that I'm in
temporarily, five-day program
that I got sentenced
to because I got arrested
for possession of crack
the other night.
And they're offering me
a detox,
which I desperately need.
And, um...
You know, I once...
Sebastian and I talked about it
and we would like
to go together.
- All right.
- All right, good luck.
- I'll see you in a little bit, okay?
- All right.
I'm a nervous wreck.
I'm very, very nervous.
I'm scared for me and Sebastian,
but I know it's the right thing.
Man, we got to get
the fuck out of here.
Or we're not
gonna make it.
Our relationship
isn't gonna make it.
And I love him
and I know that he loves me.
And we can't run
like this anymore.
I can't take being
on the streets anymore.
It's killing me.
I was hoping to make a
referral to your detox program.
If you can call me back, I'd
appreciate it. Thanks, bye-bye.
It's tough without
any medicaid and any ids.
Can I use your phone? Can I
call my son, wappingers falls?
- What's the area code?
- 845.
Anthony?
Hi.
Are you by yourself?
Oh, listen, uh,
can you get my ID
from grandma?
I'm trying to get into
fucking hospital and shit
and no one will take me
without any ID.
If I come up tonight,
can you meet me?
I'm in a lot of trouble.
I have to go into a hospital.
All right, I love you.
- I got accepted to Bailey Seaton.
- Okay.
- For tomorrow morning.
- Great.
But I got to go to
Anthony and get my ID.
That's not so
fucking great, huh?
But I'm not doing
any of that
until you call and get
accepted right now.
Yes, I'd like
to find out
if I can get in as soon as
possible like tomorrow morning.
Yes, if I could.
I can't go
without Sebastian.
Fuck that.
Okay, bye.
Call back at 8:00
in the morning tomorrow.
Sure thing.
- You'll go in, right? You're gonna go?
- Yeah.
- That's where you want to go, right?
- 100%.
Okay, what do you want
to do now?
I'm on my way over
to St. marks right now
'cause I've got to make
some money
'cause I'm going up
to see my son Anthony
and I don't want
to get sick up there.
I have to go up there
and get all my ids
so I can go to the detox
in the morning.
So hopefully this will work out and
I can score some cash right now.
- You're in the St. marks?
- Yeah.
Okay, I'll come up
with you.
What do you want me
to get for you?
You want two 20s,
right?
- Buy four and take two for you.
- But four what?
- Whatever they are... dimes.
- They're 20s.
- Okay.
- Okay, I'll be right back.
Let's go right now. Stop us
a cab, Sebastian, right now.
Let me get in first,
Sebastian.
First I charged him
$20 for the crack.
And then he gave me 40
to go back downstairs
and five to get beer.
So I wound up with $65.
One of these motherfuckers
has to be open.
Come on.
I don't fucking
believe this.
No.
That door looks open
right there... 112.
Yes!
I gave it
to you, remember?
Oh yes you did,
yes you did.
You have cotton?
Yeah, from a cigarette.
We're both getting sicker
as we're doing this.
Can you hear the way
Sebastian is breathing and shit?
Having the dope makes you...
Fuck, man.
- You didn't mix the sets up, did you?
- No.
'Cause I can't have
an old set.
What's wrong
with that needle?
Sebastian?
It's bent.
No shit, dick!
Whose needle is that?
It's mine.
You don't even know, do you?
Whose it is?
It's mine.
Here you go.
This is bent.
Is this the bent?
Yes, the bent one
I thought was yours.
You don't know whose needle
this is, do you? You don't give a fuck.
Yeah, sometimes I forget
that you don't give a fuck.
So, fucking, there
should be water in here.
How much dope
is in there?
Not much, Michelle.
Go ahead, man.
What are you looking at?
You know that I can't do it
in one fucking second like that.
Tell me,
what needle is that?
This one's pretty, uh...
- New? Can I use it?
- Yeah.
This one doesn't even have numbers
on it and you're ready to give it to me.
Can you stand here now?
Shit. I'm not going
to be able to do this.
I'm not going to be able
to use this fucking needle.
If this works,
it's a miracle.
This ain't gonna work. This
fucking thing is retardedly bent.
I can't fucking hear a word
you're saying, Sebastian.
Don't even
fucking talk to me.
You don't give a fuck as
long as you're fucking straight.
The shit is not even
fucking draining out, man.
Fuck!
Shit.
I am sick, Sebastian. Are
you're just gonna stand there?
It's all right,
Michelle.
Oh, okay, I feel
much fucking better now.
Okay, Sebastian, I'm using the other
fucking needle and it ain't working.
Any fucking suggestions?
Oh my god.
Fucking shit!
God damn it!
All my dope
is almost gone, Sebastian.
Did you save any for me?
The same fucking
word game, okay?
Okay?
Get out of my fucking way.
Michelle.
Hands.
- Put your foot in here.
- No.
Put your foot in here.
You'll freeze.
I'm going to shoot
some crystal.
Feel me.
Oh, she's schizzing, oh.
Oh, fuck.
That's the first time
I ever shot crystal meth.
Why am I on the ground?
You want to stand up?
Slowly.
I can't really do it.
My legs are sleeping.
Oh gosh,
what happened?
How come I don't know
what happened, Sebastian?
- Where's the train, Sebastian?
- Right over here.
Honey, I can't go fast.
I'm scared.
I'm not. I'm gonna
stand right in front of you.
- Are we almost there?
- Hmm.
Oh, are we almost there?!
About 10 more and a couple
more around the corner.
42nd, transfer above
to shuttles 1, 2, 3 and 7.
I can't believe that
I am not on my way up
to see my fucking son.
Collect call
from Michelle, please.
Can you light this for me,
Sebastian? Or are you busy?
Anthony, what time is it?
If I get on the train right
now, can you stay there?
'Cause I can't go to
the hospital without ID
and I really
fucking need to.
Can you just go
to school late?
Okay, so then you'll take
the whole fucking day off.
I will go to the school
and tell them you're with me.
He's saying that
he gets off at 12:00.
We'll meet him at 12:00
then, if he can...
How am I supposed to call
the motherfucking detox at 8:00?
We'll call them at 8:00.
They'll hold the bed till 5:00.
You're sure
of this, right?
I'm not positive, but...
Bring my purse.
Don't forget my purse.
I love you, Anthony.
I really got to go there.
I really got to go.
I gotta go into
that detox.
Well, we're almost up
in new Hamburg
to see Anthony.
I'm really nervous.
I'm so nervous
about everything.
I wish Sebastian
was with me.
This is Anthony,
my son.
My 17-year-old.
My best friend.
He's my son
from my husband
who passed away.
His father
was a drug addict.
He overdosed at the time
I wasn't here.
I was in
Florida prison.
And I couldn't be
with Anthony.
And...
It didn't matter who was
with him, he just wanted me
and I couldn't be here.
But he got
his little suit on
and went down
to the funeral.
He gave his dad
a kiss goodbye.
He was...
He was crushed.
He's been through a lot,
Anthony.
I've always hoped
she would get better.
I'm used to her
not getting better though.
Like she'll come up
for a while and leave.
It don't affect me
anymore really.
I just deal with whatever, you
know, I've to got to deal with.
If she gets better,
I'm happy,
but if she don't,
like I'm used to it.
This happened
lots of times.
Oh, that person's leaving.
I hope that's not Anthony.
They didn't even
get out of the car.
That might be Anthony.
I got to get down here
in case it's him.
I came up today
to get my ID
- because I have to go into a detox.
- Yeah.
'Cause I've been in the
streets for six months.
But in the past week it's been
the worst time of my fucking life.
I... I just want
to go in the hospital.
Okay.
- Okay, all right, ant.
- Well, I'll call you.
You're gonna call the hospital
and whatnot and check on me, right?
- Yeah.
- Thanks for bringing... giving me my ID.
- All right.
- I love you.
Love you too.
- I'll call the hospital later.
- All right, honey.
- Bye, ant.
- Bye.
Oh my god!
Oh my god!
Oh he's...
Oh god!
Well, I got the ID
and my pocketbook
from Anthony.
And I'm heading
back down to the city
to go to the detox.
Hopefully
I can find Sebastian.
Grand central terminal,
final stop.
Have a good evening
and a good weekend.
Hi, this is
Michelle boswell calling.
Hi, I'm supposed
to be coming tonight.
Um, I was supposed
to call
when I arrived
at grand central.
Okay, bellevue is closer.
Can I go there?
Because see, what I'm trying
to do is I'm trying not to stop
and... and get
detoured.
'Cause I'm really getting
dope sick right now.
Yeah.
All right, thank you.
Okay, bye-bye.
I'm scared.
I don't have my boyfriend
with me.
He's supposed to come and
do this with me and he's not.
God, Sebastian,
please be at this detox.
I just don't have it in me
to go look for him.
I don't have it in me
to go steal.
I'm getting sick. I just
wanna go be safe somewhere.
I'm scared.
Really scared.
But I don't want to...
I don't want to be
out here anymore.
I can't do it no more.
Dad, call when you get your
parking spot in New York.
Okay, bye.
You can tell
she gets a little antsy.
She wants everything
to be perfect, you know?
She fears that,
you know,
when her dad sees her
that he's gonna see,
you know, the hard time
she's having.
- How was your driving?
- Dad!
- Crazy as usual, you know.
- Hey, dad.
- Hi, Tracy. You didn't drink this time, did you?
- No.
We put some change in the
meter 'cause the parking lady...
Dad, we held this spot
for you for like a half hour.
Okay, uh...
- What we have is a...
- oh, we're going to be triplets.
We got a birthday jacket for Matt
because it was his birthday yesterday.
- Thanks a lot.
- That's fun.
Just 'cause you look like me, you're
not me. They're the same jacket.
Try it on, Mattie.
Look, Matt,
we're gonna be twins.
Oh, three-quarter,
that's what's up.
There's other stuff in here
later, Tracy, if you want to look.
Some cool stuff in here.
Those grey sweaters,
that's my color too.
- Lock up the trunk, dad.
- Okay, now...
Is there anything in the car
that should be locked up?
- No, how long are we good for?
- An hour.
- Matt?
- Yes.
Matt, they've got it
on sale for $1.99.
Just check how long until...
Just concentrate towards that.
This is what we do now
because we don't get high.
So we got to find
other things to do.
- You know what...
- We do videogames.
But this is good. When you
were a kid you did videogames.
It was healthy for you.
You learn from videogames.
Know what you learn? You got a
lot of time on your hands when you
stop getting high. There's
a lot of time in the day.
You know a job can really
fill your time pretty good.
With my daughter, Christmas
seems to come every other day.
- Thank you.
- Have a good night.
"Dear Tracy, I am so glad
you are doing so much better.
Best of luck. I will be
e-mailing you. I love you always.
Please keep in touch with me.
Love, your aunt supporter.
I believe in you,
I always will
and I know you will succeed.
Judy."
That's great.
It's my coolest aunt too.
As much as she thinks
the world has turned her off
or she's turned off
the world,
there are people that want
her to make it and come back.
And I'll also help you, Matthew,
because sometimes in your life
there's no real strong
male figure.
We'll help you as much
as we can, but we can't do it
without your help.
Money means nothing if
you lose your child for life.
And in the long run,
we still could lose Tracy
or we could lose Matthew.
But to give up
without trying
and not put out
every effort you can
to help them get back,
uh, I think that's
the whole thing about
being a parent.
You brought this person
into the world,
you do your best to make
sure that they survive this world.
And if they fall down,
you help them.
- You want some?
- Yeah.
- How oily is it now?
- Not at all.
Today we're moving into our
new place over in Brooklyn.
It's Matt and I's first apartment
together and it's a huge place.
We really lucked out
and got a great place.
My dad's helping us
furnish... we're furnishing it.
This is very significant. This is
gonna be our home together for a while.
This is going to be
the home we get married in.
For the first time, we don't have to
use a credit card to enter this door.
We have keys.
See that?
That's door number one.
Ching, Ching.
- This system is incredible.
- And my dad got us
40 or 50 DVDs to start out
a collection, so we...
And every time
he comes, trust me,
it's like his sweaters. He's
going to come with 10 of them.
If you look in my closet,
we've got 600 sweaters.
- You think I'm kidding? Come here.
- Where?
This is our sweater closet.
It's all sweaters.
If you look behind
my bed over there,
there's four more big
garbage bags... sweaters!
We're thoroughly
sick and tired
of that
lifestyle out there.
This isn't a whim and this
isn't to humor my father.
This is what we want.
Matt and I still have some
issues we got to work on,
but those things
are lessening
and the positive things are,
you know, just more and more so.
- I'm not worried about it. I'm not concerned at all.
- Oh yeah.
- Hello?
- I'm sorry to bother you. I forgot my key.
Can you let me in?
I live on the fourth floor.
- Who is it?
- O'brien.
Thank you.
I miss Michelle.
We always come here together.
I wasn't really planning on
leaving or anything like that.
I just got fucking...
I just got...
Nodded out
and when I woke up
it was like an hour later.
And,
you know, I kept losing
sense of direction.
I knew Michelle would have
been really mad at me.
So I didn't bother
going anywhere.
I'm fucking freezing.
How could he have
a conscience?
Look at the fucking
weather.
And where is he?
And is he wondering
where I am freezing?
Where's Sebastian, under
a fucking quilt right now
snuggled up
with a dick up his ass?
Hi, Alvin.
It's Sebastian.
Hey, can I come over?
All right.
What's your...
What's the number
of your building?
Okay, I'll see you soon.
When Michelle
is not with me sometimes
I can't find a place
to stay, I...
I call people
like this person
and I hang out with them
and get high or whatever.
And sometimes, I...
You know,
if it's all right,
I end up staying for the night if
they don't bother me and I feel...
I feel safe.
It's so fucking cold.
Like a hallway like this...
This ain't warm, man.
I wake up,
I'm fucking freezing.
I mean, it felt good in
that detox the other night.
You know, to get into a
fucking bed... two days of that.
It's the worse
that it's ever been.
The crack is just killing me.
It's killing me.
And I don't know
how to stop.
If I want to stop.
I mean, I'm sure
I want to stop.
'Cause who the fuck
wants to live like this?
I mean I'm not in love
with Sebastian anymore.
Which i...
I can't even believe that.
I mean, you know
how much I loved him.
Oh my god, he was
my life. Which he still is.
I mean I'd do anything
for him, but...
With the drugs just...
There's nothing there.
Right now,
it's too fucking cold.
I'm going on the train.
Just ride back and forth
all night.
It's a rough place
to stay warm
because the cops
give you a really hard time.
When I was a little girl,
I remember
seeing this,
like on TV, you know?
I was thinking
about it the other day.
You know,
like this grand central
and the homeless people.
I was thinking about that
the other day and then I said,
"I'm part of this.
I am part of that now."
What I used to look
at when I was a little girl,
these people saying,
"how could they sleep there?
Well, how come
they don't have a bed?"
And I'm living it now.