Double Bunk (1961) Movie Script

You're bill Clement I'm sure I don't
have to remind you is two weeks overdue
nine o'clock and time for Saturday
beauty Club good morning ladies this is
your own Michelle this morning there are
two points to raise the bust and just a
simple little exercise to improve our
bust line
ready on the backs ladies we all got our
it's me hurry
don't you see this could be the answer
to our problem
but I don't understand I mean we've
never besides I haven't got a telly what
look not that dear back there Martin
inking this complete home for 1,100
pounds after area do you realize that
we've been engaged for three months I've
never seen you in anything secluded is
accessible it's not as if I'd known you
in the summer at least I've seen you in
a bathing costume oh do shut up a minute
let me finish this
two bedrooms dining lounge kitchen and
bathroom where's the right size charming
garden apply Harper house boat Jasmine
it's not a house you idiot it's a bonus
a houseboat and at least it's somewhere
to live you simply couldn't get married
until we'd found somewhere to live I'm
beginning to feel like a Trappist monk
it was only I
I read somewhere that it's very bad for
the health but does something terrible
at the brain I should have known you a
sex maniac when you came to that door
six months ago in our special enemies
having a Tim full of them Tommy you know
go find Jimmy
I only wanna kiss you after all we are
engaged why are you afraid of me
not afraid of you is it it's by another
come in
what more effectiveness myth thank you
will rush into anything will you
I mean just because we haven't found
exactly what we're looking for relevance
a for the last three months now we've
only got a week to find something we
would have had two weeks if you hadn't
told her a filthy minded old so
she is just cuz we happened to be in bed
a plow Harper that's me Elsa daughter's
name just been doing the weekly shopping
my name is guarded them this is my
fiancee miss dealing I'll do miss
stealing how do you do looking for
somewhere to sit pay me well know I'm
not sure what I can let you have Jasmine
we met October effect response to the
airport you have a large isn't good not
better Tom that belongs to Watson.
Leonard Watson
he owns the mornings Papageno really
owner no this is Jasmine kid all the
steel magnate was a previous in our unit
Shelby makes a nice room yes it does
it's amazing who'd have thought there
was so much space and that's one of the
things I like about a bit plenty of
cupboard space it's another thing about
boots plenty of social life will come
down blue oh you'll have to get out of
the scene
my girl
mr. Goddard and his fiancee misty late
I didn't they are interested in buying
the built.
Jamaican of course I mean it
she hates the thought of leaving at you
Nana take a grip on yourself little girl
this is Meg
electricity's shilling in the slot and
what some charges - could beat for the
morning not bear this well you've
been most kind mr. Harper I think we've
taken up quite enough of your time and
you still never better lunch mrs. Holly
and see what nothing just like this girl
1,100 pounds like us is that the
furnisher house wouldn't get involved
alright I'll frame 750 you throw us off
the boat you nobody said it cost over
15,000 recipe just the same if we lived
in Buckingham Palace and don't carry on
about your nerves the groundwork and all
you've got to do is to provide bacon and
eggs before Tonto
I'll give you bacon and acid that's what
mrs. Alford was delighted to us take
well we've thought it over mr. Harper
and we'd like to have the bird good
heavens you're a chap to make a quick
decision or job only it's a matter of
price all right make me an offer I can
always refuse it Conte 750
alright then that thing about hundred
pounds I haven't got time to argue don't
be a silly boy I'm doing you a favor
these things are cold that second end
you can tell she's our live video killer
the match the federal government is you
oh yes I forgot you're in the racket too
a hymnbook don't tell me you're still
using that story that it belonged to two
old ladies who only used it together.
Church oh I've got a new twist on man it
used to belong to two old Jewish ladies
who only you two go to the synagogue go
dim it look kiddush good chemic it's
sold three cars last week and one of
them was a spy I have more sensitive do
a deal with you here give me a hammer
the ribbon
oh shake run out tonight
new tenants are moving in mr. Watson
say you're getting old
the bridegroom hasn't damaged himself
oh sorry to introduce myself
good evening I thought I better make
myself known if my neighbor spots a
limit boss Lennon Watson of course you
own the mornings I'm Jack got heart and
this is my wife we just got married this
congratulations thank you I heard you
bought Harper's Elbert one day but you
were thinking of moving her moving yeah
how should we want to know her
oh and Harper didn't tell you about the
agreement yeah he's a dead flower
character what agreement
well you see I only bought the morning
six months ago and the man who had them
before went bust well I'm not surprised
he was charging peanuts peanuts and
they're crafty Fox Harper well they've
managed to get a two-year degree but I
didn't two years ah
it expires in three weeks all right how
much if we want to stay here how much
for that's double everything the world
of rising costs letting a world of
rising costs yeah I find it hard to make
both ends meet myself sometimes I bleed
for you
are there any other charges we should
know about now let me see
oh is this the heart of the house worse
ten public ten shillings a week what
couldn't we possibly supply our own hose
I'm sure we couldn't well no we only
call it the heart of the hose but well
it's for the water you have to pay for
the water you see how dare I mean after
all you can't expect to have anything
that nothing can you is that the lot
yeah I think so perhaps Liam merely
forgot the car park
now we charge the visitors half a crowd
at night but well we like to help out
our tenants so it's out of fifteen but a
week that's over five pounds a week I
know it's amazing out man 70 this is
blackmail shouldn't I get words like
this to have a tag of course and that's
in the way you'll be able to move this
old tub little an-naba senior I'll seem
dead dropping again sometime you've got
three weeks to get that wreck out of
don't forget three weeks oh well things
are looking up we only had one week to
get out of Hammersmith.
mom behind your back all about their
music in the romantic move and now a
selection from the Handel's water music
well back to the monastry I'll make
something what on earth were you doing
just thinking no that's such a dry Ross
bad luck
you know she's over tell you what I'll
do give you and then you'll be all set
all right love to said my wife had never
stand for it my wife would never stand
for it have you gone Stan bonkers have
you lost your marbles
look boy far be it for me to interfere
between Manawatu Jourdain for trouble
toss me that ring spelling I'm serious
about it you've got to be rough with him
do you think I'm gonna give my wife a
poke in the eye just to please didn't
say that bird who goes for the
self-defense spring a surprise Allah
that's what I do
thank you for a cruise this weekend I
tell you what I'll do I'll give up my
weekend in Brighton and I'll come and be
your crew and your navigator I can just
eat it too you love it back there in the
old deck chair like a couple of
millionaires and how much is it gonna
cost you just a couple of bumper fuel
for the engine that's all to give your
wife the finest
anyone at any woman's ever had cruising
in our own yacht you know you're not
such an idiot after all that beers two
little pigs I could run the engine you
could do the navigation right but I'll
come back of the boat with me now and
take a look at it we can make a start on
the engine right away huh hey women what
about the missus do think it'd be all
right certainly am I a matter of mouse
well that's about 11
thank you thank you so much for
delivering at such short notice to you
see I want to give my husband a surprise
don't you think you very like this
succeed thank you very much you don't
think I've overdone it do you
no ma'am or I should say you judge did
you in our city you won't miss it and we
won't feel the impact of sudden wealth.
I think it's some strange I thought
you'd make the place look a bit more
homely darling it is the bus home lived
in low world
thank you do you think you could get
into the habit of calling it a houseboat
I mean it sounds so bleak to say we live
in a boat doesn't it after all it isn't
as though we're ever going to use this
as a boat no well I just asked city feed
the info I knew you wouldn't
oh yes I had to go down to the shops
well you know then I can chase it around
the house the boat by marvelous.
I couldn't done it better myself
certainly women are like dogs you gotta
tell them what the dinner make them
belly have another master ear boy cuz I
get confused I don't have to tell me
that just to be me fans in for sure
can't see what's happened to Charlie.
Mike's Pickers have trouble getting away
from his old woman never could see a
sign of a stag party took to Paris it's
in alright to tell my missus I was going
on a five-day bicycle race
are you still don't have to dress for
the party bitch came to see me off
don't breathe a word about this cruise
until the day a good idea so keep the
element of surprise
you better get changed I'll bring it
down a glass of brandy oh I better be
going it I've got a blonde coming around
what's the trade any worse for an ice
cream bag your whip things I'm about to
drop a horse exhaust must have been
quite a little bad coming unexpectedly
like that it would tend to say it off
your balance
now look here there's no need to be
bloody stupid about this huh well how
the hell was I to know you were on the
pedaling gangplank as far as I was
concerned you were safely out of the way
I mean safe they're doing that been
doing the shopping but anybody would
think it was like trying to start up
finishing into the way you're carrying
we are draw your attention to the fact
that I am NOT carrying on well stop
sulking them three days anyway I can't
see why you wanted to stop the beastly
engine in the first place
all right then well I'll tell you
actually it was to have been a surprise
you think it wasn't
believe me you managed that bit all
right I thought things haven't worked
out at our honeymoon as well as they
might have that is a masterpiece of
understatement Cheers
you better get another bottle just in
case couldn't we start again I'd like to
make it up to you give you a sort of a
second honeymoon do you think we could
stand the strain please don't be bitter
darling after all how was I to know the
boat leaped you were wonderful but a
single word of complaint passed your
lips mmm god you're impossible
oh my wish I could stay angry with you
longer and I can't you know I was
thinking as I was working at the garage
I was thinking one day I'll give that
girl the best honeymoon a girl has ever
had when you're really darling when
you're really thinking of me but I ask
myself what more could any girl want and
a honeymoon cruising in our own yacht
I don't suppose we'll ever be able to
afford to buy cunning conniving
so that's what your leading up to that's
why you started that drinking engine Oh
what are you getting some mad about I
was only thinking of you I want to split
your skull with this bottle
I'm sorry darling perhaps I shouldn't
have tried to keep it from you I thought
you'd be thrilled no packing or
unpacking just untie the ropes on our
way taking everything with us
you could have sat back in your chair
all day long like a millionaire million
heiress don't ripen a millionaire s
better Gunther said it's all our fault
I'll make up some story alright where
are we going little way down the river
we can turn back whenever you say after
our little relieve the monotony for you
monotony that's a good word it's about
the only thing we haven't had you my
darling are gonna have a honeymoon
you'll never forget
hey what are you doing with pets a
figure - or remember just untie and take
everything with us that's part of
sorry I'm late this is Sandra do you
think it's just lousy weather all
they're asking for our ice cream vans I
read some of the other day every seven
years and this mate is the seventh year
I'm so happy for you
I've been looking forward to this cruise
ever sir have you yes that's mine
not Sandra's you wouldn't think by
looking at her that she's one of the
best strippers in the business she's got
a routine with three pigeons I do have
that bird enough clothes of me I found I
hadn't got a pin to wear I'm sure you'll
manage shall I lead the way yes you look
like a millionaire
yeah well he's eccentric now don't
don't mention money to him he likes
people to think he's skint yes
oh yeah well I told you it is eccentric
come on
the ng-controller to take notes why not
these up they're quite simple really
to go ahead press that button for
neutral that's all right at the club six
of us goes changing it plays much
smaller than this girl's she's on fire
she's not you know I do believe yes the
hell he is he's going to take her out
getting a bunt and the way is the
simplest matter in the world if of
course you're bad my experience so
ladies if you would mind step into the
rear or I'll stir into the wheelhouse
how is me that is even harder chauffeur
the chauffeur God
a hitch
what about it just cast off on our way
taking everything this nothing could
have been simplified it was so simple it
was almost don't know where it'll get
more interesting later on oh goody if
anyone wants me I'll be up in the girl I
think I'd like to get changed a little
I was thinking I might give up the car
games not a butcher
in the small way of car coming with you
like this unfortunate it's more munch my
folks and Caramba dry almond tree oh boy
go on it take them off take them off
just for a minute
nick is a fine
that's a receipt certainly I mean the
radio silly you mustn't put the radio
miss to the campus it upsets it keep
looking at me like that make you feel as
if I'm naked friend
jebaited up for you're going
why don't you watch it
it's going off nothing disgraceful out
there they let these characters on the
river without a driving test
he's drowning I'll do the talking
there's no sense in antagonizing a word.
I am oh where you from Christmas Island
that's not bad
seven complaints in two miles that's
almost a record complaints
yes excessive wash I love don't think
we've ever known our radios so busy live
out of it we was already moving
apparently you are moving to the tune of
seven cups of sources on an Azusa a cut
glass bowl on Lily maid the owner of
Jane got his sausage of mash in his left
the Reverend V Thomas says you wet his
trousers I mr. Earl in a high of skip
fell on his earth fiance and broke her
past it thanks it's funny how we
sometimes can't read your own yes
another of them just coming over the
blower Oh Grenville Carter from the
sailing sub says they ran him down he
could have got out of the way I was
going starboard starboard what more does
he want I'm sure we can straighten all
this out officer he's I'm sure we can
would you yes please
you told me they'd give it a teetotaler
never stand by in the launch yes
you see my husband like a bit of the
green belt take a look at the one in
what do you know about this place all
they all go there must be sort of
miniature Blackpool whoo it'll be all
right tonight
love it so that's it
miniature Blackpool dump what do we do
now we can't stay there for two days
still Rama's get cream Ramsgate that's a
thought you never get away with it
because they we missed her late could
you get us the rent
laughs all right let's go
brief if you may have to get us there
blind phone probably no worry about my
run out of it in two or three minutes
well anyway we know where they are
yeah we keep heading due east we must be
all right what's happened where are we
oh no need to worry just run into a
little sea salt dissolve that's what
happened now where are we
well there's one place we're not and
that's where we ought to be at home all
right you said we turn back any time I
said I'm saying it now we turn back the
world is our oyster who knows where we
may wind up maybe Australia that'd be
nice I've got a custom it lives in
Australia why I ever allowed myself to
be talked into this I I shall sit down
here quirky and compose myself for death
run out of it in five minutes and what
if we don't it might take five hours or
five weeks yeah well in that game
did you eat it quick get anything you
can make a noise
while I was right
calculations checked and double-checked.
Jules getting low enough for another
quarter ah there she goes yes I am.
Victor Ramsgate you will do no such
now this calls for a celebration you two
girls were gonna get changed we will
take you ashore for the finest meal at.
Ramsgate can provide a couple of bottles
of wine the meal I insist
besides have you forgotten got a
millionaire's sorry it slipped my mind
for a minute must be wonderful to be
rich nice work
you know where we are take a look over
that warehouse it doesn't look right you
could find your way to excuse me radio
oh that's fine that's great
we're really in a new center wonderful
don't miss it
well Sid and I were just thinking it
seems silly to flock all the way down to
the town about a nice little meal here
onboard if you think we've got all
dressed up like this to cook yeah ha
we'd already thought of that I am going
to do the
yeah that's it what about a nice little
um both bogging on this dark steering
bar me to video well there isn't any bus
there's very little of anything else I
was in the shopping hole here and come
on Oh a disc Oh miss Connie I'm starving
so am I I think it's silly traipsing all
over the town madness alright we'll go
by ourselves come on Sandra did I miss
your bus fare hold that you Marcy will
play I think about you angry yes yes
then I shall require you ships papers
your passport and your import permit
import permit it is forbidden twin for
thumbs and team to France without a
permit certainly madam you aren't
eligible little error in the old
calculations no where's the captain of
this ship
please well I suppose I am
in a manner of speaking in a manner of
speaking well you see it isn't really a
ship at all oh I see it is not trader
sheep at all it's a house perhaps you
will be so kind as to tell me how you
come to have your house in the middle of
a harbor well you may find it a little
difficult to believe this but well here
goes it all started as a trip down the
Jazmin day believe it I spin Milhouse
maybe I raised the rents of what she
decided to have a great son
well he's gotta hand it to him he got
here he's got to get back yet and the
next thing we knew we were here I see
well Monsieur you warned me I might find
it difficult to Billie
however I said give you 12 hours with
about but we can't depart with no fuel
that is not my business Monsieur if you
are still here a premise found the boat
the matter
the house will be impounded until
official operation I've been copied but
just a minute I will not take well.
Monsieur if your story is true maybe no
more than a few days off laughs and for
your sake I hope it is goodbye you know
meantime of course you will not be
allowed ashore Mira listen
now let's try and sort this out shall we
we are in France we can't leave because
we have no fuel if we stay the boat will
be impounded we have no food and we
can't go ashore to get any when you said
I have a honeymoon I'd never forget you
really meant it
this makes the first honeymoon look like
a honeymoon run in the ass maybe longer
what that's all I needed to complete my
day do you know the mornings chat him
you'll give it a fuel and we're home and
dry no cross love in your life love his
head off if you knew what had happened
you see my husband has his pride yeah
that's all very well but you've got us
into this mess mate I did may I remind
you that if I hadn't let you talk me
into going on to Ramsgate we would still
be in hole Haven if you hadn't what I
told you you never get away with it just
do I understand you deliberately past
hole Haven in a way I suppose did you or
didn't you
well yes I thought I don't care what you
thought all I care about is I am in.
France I am tired I am hungry and I am
fed up furthermore I am going to bed and
if you dare come anywhere near me so
help me oh I'll make myself a widow
it's stupid going on like this I'm
coming in do you hear me I'm coming in
damn silly about it I'm gonna get drunk
nice drop a stop stop I'll come straight
to the point
my name is Sid Randall and this is mrs.
San Tomas charming name for a charming
lady if I say sir
thank you there we're off the Galvin gay
by now as a matter of fact we are right
in the weaving a bit of a spot so the.
Harbormaster is saying yeah well not to
beat about the bush and seeing her blood
is thicker than water we thought you
might help us out with a drop of fuel I
wish I could talk to God kid I must get
that tomorrow could do is to give you a
we're leaving first thing in the morning
and I expect I could squeeze you in are
you really a piercer grateful the age of
chivalry is not possible yeah no matter
if miss Marchetti I can't thank you
enough mr. Watson
this morning try to talk me into going
with him to turn you suggest then a man
of my standard he's making these out I
need just gonna fetch him a right-hander
and thought of his double he always
jumped me fool of him yeah I'm gonna
charge on it still I got in a few good
would you say that again some are you
going deaf I said he's got 400 gallons
there's plenty more where this comes
Oh Cydia but I'll do things to see it -
you'll be back later
well as I was saying had always been a
striptease artist
I don't cabaret as well sure why not
give a little show for my guests work
your passage shows people don't usually
do private parties masucci being so
do you like it love it after it my pups
with me did you prefer me a few bits and
pieces I know just a few the curtains to
have below let me see if we manage to
pinch 30 gallons to quit strip coverage
all right suppose we get the juice how
do we get home without a cover so simple
we know what's is eating first thing in
the morning we follow him back
nothing short wouldn't be safer even if
we had to come to stop waiter okay
you let me put the right now look don't
let's stop that again are you ready yeah
this reminds me of when I was in the
commandos I thought you were in the Navy
naval commandos.
Patti coming up
if I can just get into the cabin I'll be
I'll toss it who takes first watch anime
trouble yourself comfy you'll be asleep
well caviar and champagne should do the
trick she shows any sign of leaving
whatever you're doing stop it and give
me a shout
take me you got too much to drink
wake up not to wake the way you're
carrying or not put this up together.
Watson's leaving I'll get the engine
shall I open eruption Oh slow down
there's some ketchup for this aye aye
sir we're gaining on this outcome could
wipe the floor without any time anything
that slushee if the rubbish is all right
on the river Oh Jasmine gay Oh Jasmine
gay have you got any messages for
friends or relatives back home you never
know where you're going to end up Julie
oh don't worry about that
we might be back before you are you must
be acid in the hunt
you wanna bet I certainly do come on
take him up or come in with your father
darling don't be stupid robot a bouncy
day Jack I can only lose 50 Bob for over
a sport that's have a real bit a year's
rich double or quits a telly don't be a
fool it's 200 pounds nice also just big
talk yum right I'm gonna get away with
that naturally now let's show him what
she can do.
I thought you said Sheila no good at sea
must be a following women said the best
you can do I lost skipper to make this
thing move twice as fast now I'm going
back for a couple of hours keeping when
I get up again I don't want to see that
thing anywhere in sight sit call your
service huh
didn't I Drive on for four years from
Dublin Saturn's are
yeah the engine rooms flooded give me a
hand will you keep on these tracks
the unexpected
piece of rubber or something to wrap
around the lake
must be worth more than that I was to me
what is this thing.
I got bad ahead in the Boy Scouts
say conceptions of gone wrong again
they stuck must be some sort of trick
he's going the wrong way
don't focus what do we do now he's gonna
say wasted we oughta be in a street in
about 40 minutes
the attest Americans drive the bus
one mile to go
imagining rent free for a whole year and
if Watson books are end up will be
saving even more money maybe I'm not
such a lunatic out for all oh you do
yourself an injustice I'm sure you must
be just hope dad I still think we ought
to wait till September I don't think I
can get the time off in September it's
our busy time at the sewage farm no.
I don't know can't you get a bit more
out of her what about the wash sir to
hell with the wash.
I think we ought to make it July
sorry yeah
better make it you love me been quite a
it has a lead not unprofitable either I
know well Watson is now someone else.
Spain I expect Olay once their round the
next bend at home.
Repton the last mile we hadn't been so
busy congratulating ourselves we've seen
him coming
there's nothing to stop them now they
seem to be in position now stand by move
it let this lunatic through soon it's
been nearly there by now Oh bang guys
200 quid
I'm frightfully sorry.
Like he could let that more damage if
you'd be the net craft carrier I'll take
her inside a bit of nine
you come a bit I want to show these
yelping types where they get off
and that includes three boring for a
year I'll leave you to think it over
you'll stay to lunch of course oh what's
very nice of you but I see we got out of
it much disappointed if you didn't
Rose what do you think very nice for
look sure know what's offensive myself
in one of these things all right she's a
skin 1300 awfully 950 cash take it or
leave it he can have any likes dump