Downsizing (2017) Movie Script
1
Yeah, you okay?
We have it.
Andreas, we have it.
It works.
Jorgen.
It gives me great pleasure
to welcome
the director of the institute
and my old friend,
Dr. Andreas Jacobsen.
Thank you.
Thank you, Dr. Pereira.
Seventy-five years ago,
Mrs. Nellie Edvardsen,
overcome with guilt
by the fortune
her late husband's
family had amassed
producing mustard gas
during World War I,
founded our institute
so that the wonders of science
could instead be used
to help mankind.
In the 1950s,
the institute identified
over-population
as mankind's single
greatest long-term threat,
the cause of all the catastrophes
we are seeing today--
extreme climate and
weather events,
and the devastating impact
on food and water security.
Among the many solutions we
conceived so many years ago,
one...
which seemed then
so ambitious, so
out of our grasp
has finally borne fruit.
And today we are proud to unveil
what we fervently believe
to be the only practical,
humane and inclusive remedy
to humanity's greatest problem.
My colleague,
Dr. Jorgen Asbjornsen
will now present his findings.
Are you ready, doctor?
Yes, I'm ready.
Please take your seats.
Please sit down, ladies
and gentlemen, please.
Please take your seats,
ladies and gentlemen.
Thank you very much.
Thank you.
Thank you, thank you.
Dr. Pereira, esteemed colleagues.
Five years ago,
building on the research of our
predecessors at the institute,
my team and I
discovered a process
by which all organic
material can be reduced
at the cellular level
by a ratio of approximately
2,744 to one.
Such a process converts
a man of 1.8 meters
to just 12.9 centimeters.
A wide array of flora and fauna
were subjected in this process
and with the exception
of some fish and shellfish,
absolutely no side effects
were detected.
Please, lights.
Once the safety of the
procedure was confirmed,
thirty-six brave volunteers
joined my wife
Anne-Helene and me
as the very first humans
to undergo cellular reduction.
The process is short
and painless,
with only the mild
discomfort of removal
and replacement of dental
and other prosthetics.
The subjects are placed
under light sedation,
and after a brief rest,
fully recover within
an hour or two.
Once completed,
our little village,
just seven meters
by eleven meters,
was place inside
a gas-permeable enclosure
designed to protect us
from the hazards of weather,
animals and insects.
Thus we set about
to live together
in the world's
very first self-sustaining
community of the small.
I hold here in my hand
all of the uncompostable waste
produced by 36 people
over four years.
In this afternoon's session,
we will outline our proposal for a
two to three-hundred year transition
for the world to transform
from big into small.
But for now,
I'd like you all to meet
some very special people.
Bravo!
Yes!
Bravo!
And look,
there is little Ronnie Nesthritt,
the first small baby ever born.
And his new little
sister Ulrikke.
of the Edvardsen Institute,
himself now only ten centimeters
tall and weighing just 18 grams,
explained the rationale
behind the invention.
Wow! That is wild, isn't it?
Just wild.
Say, Holly,
you can go ahead and put
the take-out order in, thanks.
-Is that you?
-Yeah.
You hungry?
I ate about an hour ago.
I didn't know when
you were coming.
You knew I was bringing food.
I called you and
asked you specifically.
-I just had sesame chicken.
-And then you go and eat.
I'm still hungry.
screams premeditation.
Yet relatively few people
knew about his new book.
Did you see the news today?
About the little Swedish man?
Norwegian.
Yeah, Helen called to
tell me to turn on the TV.
What won't they think of next.
Unbelievable. Biggest thing since
landing on the moon. Bigger.
Mm.
I don't get it.
Why would anybody want
to do that to himself?
They can shrink people down,
fly to mars,
and they can't cure
my fibromyalgia?
And all this fuss
about the environment
though the world's gonna
end tomorrow.
I'm in pain.
I can't breathe.
Doesn't that matter?
Lots of people are in pain, Mom.
In all sorts of ways.
Hola Carmen.
Are you ready?
Strong, strong.
Is it usually or more like...
tingling?
-More like tingling.
-Tingling. Okay.
This downsizing thing is simply
runaway train technology
that's having a
devastating impact
on our world economy.
We're losing billions of dollars
in consumer spending already.
It's hurting us
in construction,
automobile, housing,
and defense.
And then of course,
when we get to politics,
-Israelis shrinking Palestinians,
-Ron...
African dictators
-shrinking rival ethnic groups.
-Ron. Look, Ron.
In any major transformation
of society,
are there serious growing pains?
Sure.
But at current mass and volume,
human life on Earth
is unsustainable.
You know, that one guy
makes a good point.
This family on my block
just moved away to get small,
now their house
is just sittin' there.
Makin' everybody's values take
a dive is what they're doin'.
Just when I'm tryin'
to refinance.
Marlene thinks I should
do it just to lose the weight.
You and me both, buddy.
Hey, Dee, is that take-out
order about ready?
Hey, honey, I brought food.
I'm not hungry.
What's wrong?
I have a splitting headache.
The store was
super busy and
Carla was a total
bitch on wheels.
I feel like I'm gonna throw up.
Here, wait, let me
do the neck thing.
Yeah, do the little neck thing.
Mm.
Just relax, honey.
Let me take all the weight.
Okay, here's the beautiful
formal living room
with the wonderful fireplace.
And come around here,
we have
a nice big breakfast
area for the kitchen.
Big eating area.
And this kitchen
is just a complete wow.
No, it's awesome. Just...
maybe we should look again
at that place in Benson.
Come on, let's just
check out the rest.
This is great in here,
double oven,
six burner gas stove.
It's got this wonderful
butler's pantry over here.
-Oh, hey, Sean.
-Oh, hey, Paul, how you doin'?
Good.
Do I look fat?
No, you look very handsome.
Anesthesiology, huh?
My wife says I put people to sleep
even without the drugs, so.
Surprised you're still awake.
He uses that joke
like twice a week.
What's your field, Paul?
Uh, occupational therapy.
Okay.
Oh, like-like career counseling?
Uh, no, it's just like
physical therapy
but focused on workplace
injuries and rehab,
repetitive stress, lower back,
that sort of thing.
A lot of shoulder problems.
I-I'm in-house over
at Omaha Steaks.
-He does a lot of paperwork.
-Yeah, well...
I get a little carpal tunnel
of my own from time to time.
Tell me about it.
Medicine these days is
all about covering your ass.
But weren't you pre-med
down in Lincoln?
Good memory, yeah.
I put in two years
uh, then my mom got real sick
so I moved back to Omaha
to take care of her.
I wanted to be
a surgeon, actually.
You know, we might've ended
up working together.
I...you could've been
my anesthesiologist.
-How 'bout that?
-Yeah.
Oh, my God! No way.
I saw her heading to the table
Like a tall walking big black cat
Dave?
It's Dave, Dave Johnson.
And Carol!
Can I have a hand?
I-I heard he was coming.
I had no idea.
He never struck me as the kind
of guy who'd go get small.
Wow!
A-jumping out
of doors and tables
When I heard somebody
shootin' a gun
Well the DA was
pumping my left hand
Ah, but she was
a-holding my right
-Hey, everybody!
-Hi!
-Hey.
-Hi.
Hope we're not intruding.
-No.
-No, Dave.
Hey, Andy?
Could you get Carol a, uh...
Uh, gin and tonic.
A gin and tonic.
With lime.
With lime.
Well, actually, we weren't
planning on coming at all at first.
But then, you know, we started
getting all the e-mails.
Plus my sister was
having a lump removed.
I mean, she's-she's fine,
thank God.
But I still needed to see her.
So, what's traveling like?
How'd you guys get up here
from New Mexico?
Oh, gosh, it's great.
Yeah, the airlines are getting
more and more small-friendly.
All the seats are first-class...
So after a couple of years in
Florida, we moved out to Vegas.
And that...
Yeah, I think that's the
last time we talked.
Yeah. Well, Vegas wasn't
such a good choice for me,
as it turns out.
Got into some real bad habits.
Pretty much hit rock bottom.
Tell ya, any other woman
would've run for the hills.
Carol, man, she's a saint.
She stuck with me.
But I really had to come
clean about everything.
I-I mean everything.
You know...almost.
So, the decision to...
Well, that's the thing.
We both needed the change.
Hit the reset button.
Start all over.
Well, and plus, it
must feel good to know
you're really making
a difference.
You mean all that crap
about saving the planet?
Yeah.
Downsizing is about
saving yourself.
I-It takes the pressure right off.
Especially money pressure.
I'm just not driven and ambitious
like the rest of my family.
And now, Carol and I,
we live like kings.
I'm still living in the
same house I grew up in.
I mean, Audrey's
dying for us to move
but we're really strapped.
I mean, shit, I just finished
paying off my student loans.
Yeah, well...
Listen, if you ever start
thinkin' about it seriously,
here's my two cents, uh...
There's a lot of small communities
croppin' up out there, but
don't mess around.
Leisureland's where
you wanna be.
Best houses, best appliances,
best doctors.
They book all the
big concert tours.
They got all the
great restaurants.
The kids love
Cheesecake Factory.
And Leisureland's
got three of 'em.
And hey, I'm not just saying
all this for the referral credit.
Just so you know.
I liked little Carol.
She's got a lot on the ball.
She's reading books she
always wanted to read.
She's taking Italian.
And she's never been fitter.
Well, they sure seem happy.
Dave says he's getting
pretty good on the drums.
Next year, they're taking
the kids out of school
to spend six months at a
sister city in Tuscany.
Cooking classes, yoga,
wine-tasting,
the whole nine yards.
Hey, Saf, Audrey, it's Milo.
Bad news.
Your mortgage application at
First National bounced back.
The underwriter didn't like
the income to debt ratios--
they're a little excessive.
I-I don't know if you
can come up with
another ten-fifteen
percent down.
If you could, maybe
goose it up a little bit...
And then we'll be able to tell
right away if it's for us or not.
Yeah, so let's not
waste a lot of time.
Maybe if we get to Santa Fe early,
we can get a massage.
Sounds good to me.
Out together dancin'
cheek to cheek
Heaven
I'm in heaven
And the cares that
hung around me
through the week
Seem to vanish like
a gambler's lucky streak
When we're out together dancin'
cheek to cheek
Welcome, everybody!
I'm Jeff Lonowsky,
Senior Product Specialist
and happy homeowner here
at Leisureland Estates.
You havin' a good time?
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
Come on, guys, you're a heck
of a lot bigger than I am.
Make some noise!
Are you havin' a good time?
-Yeah!
-Yeah!
-Yeah!
-Yeah!
That's more like it.
So, what do you
think of my place?
Pretty nifty, huh?
It's the house of my dreams.
Heck, I'd say this is the
house of anybody's dreams.
Why, an average guy like me
would have to work twenty,
thirty, maybe forty years
to afford a place like this,
if ever.
And just wait till
you see what's inside.
Oh.
Jeff?
You've gotta stop inviting
guests over without telling me.
Oh, sorry, Laura.
I was only--
I mean, I finally just got in the
tub to relax after such a busy day.
Busy doing what, sweetheart?
Oh, no end of things.
First I took a tennis lesson
and had a massage.
Nice.
And then after a gourmet
lunch with the girls,
well, we couldn't help ourselves
so we popped into that new
Loget's jewelry store downtown.
Uh-oh, Loget's. What's
than gonna cost me?
Now, Jeff, you hush.
I was really good.
Just another diamond bracelet.
Just a diamond bracelet?
That doesn't sound like you.
You're right, I don't
like to break up a set.
So, I got matching
diamond earrings
and a matching diamond necklace.
All conflict-free,
and set in platinum.
How much, Laura?
Oh, but Jeff, they look so good
on me, and you should see--
How much, Laura?
-Well, Jeff...
-I said how much?
Eighty-three dollars.
Eighty-three dollars?
Are you crazy?
Why, that's practically our food
budget for two whole months!
Ah!
Putting it all together, if you
liquidate your current home,
cars and other assets,
and purchase a
Regency-level estate--
remember that's a 12,000
square foot equivalent home
on a 1.5 acre equivalent lot--
at a base price of $63,000.
Then the Health and
Fitness package--
that's $4,500, you're
gonna wanna get that.
It's gym, pool, sauna, steam,
hot tub, and a tennis court.
Then the medical
procedures for two adults.
That's $15,000.
But does insurance
cover any of that?
No, but at the Regency level you
qualify of a substantial discount.
And don't forget the
federal tax credit.
-Right, right.
-Right?
So, taking a look at
your current debt,
you retirement and
your other savings,
you are at $152,000 in equity.
People, that is a very
comfortable number.
Comfortable? That doesn't
sound like nearly enough.
-Yeah.
-Well, no.
See, you have to look
at this column, Audrey.
Equivalent value.
You're solidly inside
the Blue Chip zone.
In Leisureland your $152,000
translates to $12.5 million--
to live on, for life.
I mean, come on!
-Oh.
-Well.
Hold on, if this is
such a good thing,
how come
you haven't done it?
I would do it in a heartbeat
but my husband had
a hip replacement
so he's ineligible.
So, what do you think?
Would the Regency level
be your first choice?
Or should should I show you
something a little more deluxe?
Honey, why don't you
just go ahead and pick.
I just want you to be happy.
That's a good husband.
Take a look at this.
Hey, how much for
the hotdog cooker?
Four dollars.
I'll give you a dollar.
Sold.
Keep up with the exercises.
Don't get lazy. Look.
I laminated it for you,
so you literally have
no excuse not to do it.
Okay, thanks, Paul.
Thanks a lot.
You bet.
Maybe someday me and
my wife will get small
and we'll come down
and see ya.
Well, I'd love that.
But in the meantime...
-Okay?
-All right.
-Just 15 minutes every night.
-Okay.
-It'll change your life.
-Thanks, Paul.
See ya, Dave.
We're here to wish Paul Safranek
farewell as he moves
on to Leisureland.
And we wish him
nothing but the best.
Good luck to you and Audrey.
Thanks, Bob.
Thanks, Bob.
And you guys didn't
consider Treasure Island
out in Palm Desert?
Well, we checked it out, but
I mean, I liked it all right.
But Audrey thought they were
a little stingy with the amenities.
I mean, especially given
what they're charging
in monthly maintenance.
And I just turned to Paul
and said, "Okay, you win."
Let's go for it.
We're just gonna
miss you so much.
Oh, Gina, I'm gonna
miss you too.
Well, look, it's not
like we're dying, okay?
We're just relocating.
And we'll be back at least
once a year. Maybe more.
-Hi, Dad.
-Sweetheart.
Yeah, well, sorry your mom
couldn't bring herself to come.
But she sends her love
and we're expecting you at
the house tomorrow afternoon.
-Glad you could make it, Larry.
-Hey, Paul.
What can I get you, Dad?
Um...
Look, why don't I--
here, you guys visit. Um...?
-Beer.
-Yeah.
-Just any beer.
-That's great, okay, comin' up.
I wish Mom weren't
taking it so hard.
Well, you know your mother.
Frankly, I was a little skeptical
about it myself at first.
Say, you remember Jerry Gross?
Well, I called him
the other day.
He and Bev retired down there.
Did the whole shrinking thing
that you kids are doing.
He says they're getting along
just fine, never better.
He says he feels
younger every day
and that a dollar buys a
thousand dollars worth of stuff.
Of course they need that with
all the medication Bev takes.
But, uh... yeah.
You know, I... I see the appeal.
Apparently there's zero crime,
I keep telling your mother.
It's very safe.
Yeah, we worry.
When I was younger and,
and uh, and then I-I lost the...
Hey...
You guys are the ones
getting small, right?
Uh, that's right, my wife and I.
Good for you.
No offense, but um...
do you think
if you're that small
you should still have all the
same rights as the rest of us
normal-sized people?
I mean, like the right to vote?
Why wouldn't we?
Oh, well, jeez, let's see, um...
You don't buy
as many products,
you're not paying
as much sales tax,
some of you aren't even
paying any income tax.
I mean, you're not really
participating in our
economy, are you?
-Hey.
-I mean, in fact you're costin' us
-Hey. Hey!
-money and jobs.
That's enough.
We're just having
a good time here.
Hey, I'm just askin' a simple
academic question, all right?
-You know what, I think you guys
-Hey, Tim, Tim...
should have a quarter
of a vote at most.
-I mean, that's pretty generous.
-Tim.
Take a seat, Tim.
-Whoa, whoa, whoa!
-Why don't you take a walk.
Cool your jets, big guy!
You know what, maybe an
eighth of a vote, if that.
And you could use a
little small, buddy.
Yeah, sit down.
Hey!
Hey!
Can I get a normal-sized beer
for a normal-sized guy?
I keep thinking
I forgot something.
Moving to town, are you?
How's that?
I see you're moving
to Leisureland.
You look like a
nice young couple.
Thanks.
Where you from?
Uh, Omaha.
Spokane.
Nervous?
Yeah, you know, uh,
a little.
Don't be.
It's the best thing
you'll ever do.
With your permission,
I'm going to record your answers
to the following questions.
May I begin the recording?
-Sure.
-Yeah.
Please state your
full legal names.
Audrey Lustig Safranek.
Paul Norris Safranek.
And do you,
Audrey Lustig Safranek,
and you,
Paul Norris Safranek,
understand that,
of your own free will,
you will undergo the
permanent and irreversible
medical procedure
commonly knows as
"downsizing?"
And that following
the procedure,
your bodies will
be approximately
.0364% of their current
mass and volume?
Yeah.
I'm-I'm sorry Paul,
I need a yes or no.
Yes.
Yes.
Great, thank you.
And do you give full consent
to Gateway Medical Services
to administer
the medical procedure commonly
known as downsizing?
Yes.
Yes.
And do you understand
that there exists
an approximately one
in 225,000 chance
that the procedure could result
in injury, permanent
disability or death?
-Yes.
-Yes.
Yes.
Safranek? Paul Safranek?
Yes.
It's actually Safranek.
Safranek.
Come with me, sir.
We're together.
Oh.
Someone will escort you to the
women's facility shortly.
You will be separated of
approximately five hours.
Following the procedure, you'll
be reunited in the recovery room.
Okay.
-So this is it, then.
-Yeah.
-I'll see you tonight.
-Yeah.
I'll see you on the other side.
I love you.
And I love you, too.
Okay, let's get you up here.
All clear!
Oi, we got some real
fat one this time.
Hey, how's everybody
doin' today?
Hey, Miss Joyce, doin' good.
How you doin'?
Me, I'm great. Just getting
ready for the weekend.
I see you've decided to join us.
Is this...?
Is it over?
Welcome to Leisureland.
Can you tell me your name?
-It's Paul Safranek.
-Okay, good.
I bet you're hungry.
Oh, my God.
Isn't that cute?
People just love that.
I'll bring you a little
snack in a moment.
Thanks. Um,
I think my wife was supposed
to be here with me.
What's her name?
Audrey Safranek
Let me see.
We do have an Audrey Safranek
scheduled for today
but I don't show her
transferred over yet.
She's probably just held up
in dental. I'll go check.
Thank you.
Mr. Safranek,
you've got a call.
Oh, thank you.
Hello?
Paul?
Oh, Audrey, thank God.
Where are you, honey?
Don't be mad at me.
Please don't be mad.
It's hard enough as it is.
What's hard?
Wait, what are you talkin' about?
Oh, Paul!
They shaved my head.
And then they started shaving
my eyebrows and I just thought,
"What am I doing?"
I can't leave my family.
I can't leave my friends.
-And I'm sorry, Paul, I just can't.
-Where are you?
Are you at the airport?
Don't hate me.
Please don't hate me.
Okay, okay. Take it easy. Just
get in a taxi and come back
and we'll talk about this, okay?
We'll go back to Omaha and we'll
think this through together.
Wait.
You're not leaving me here.
Can't you understand how I feel?
I feel terrible.
I let you down, I feel awful.
But then-
then I realized
I was just doing this
because I w-I was trying
to make you happy and
I should've been thinking
more about myself.
Thinking about yourself?
Thinking about yourself?!
You know, you haven't
even asked me how I am!
Don't yell.
Don't yell at me
or I'll hang up.
Do you have any idea what
I have been through today?
Audrey, if you don't come
back here right now...
And see you all small?
I'm upset enough already.
You're upset?
You're upset?
I'm the one who's
five fucking inches tall!
Well, we're sure sorry to hear
Mrs. Safranek couldn't
make it today.
Safranek.
Safranek.
Well, it's not a half-bad
idea to scout things out
get everything ready for her.
The net blocks a lot of UV rays,
but you still might
wanna put your hat on.
And anytime you
wanna to somewhere,
you just hop in
one of these bad boys.
And if they're in
short supply, well,
you can always share.
It's fun to share. I know, I've
met some super people that way.
Just super.
Yeah, isn't that somethin'?
Over to your right there,
that big, white oval building is
one of our seven Sports Centers.
That's the one that houses
the largest indoor skiing
facility in the world--
you know, relatively speaking.
And over there is Lake Chester...
Look familiar?
The Barrington.
My sister's got one.
She loves it.
Well, sir, here is the uh,
key to your kingdom.
Welcome to the good life.
Oh, they uh, stocked the
kitchen with standard items...
but one thing I should warn
you about is the dairy--
it takes a while
for your stomach
to adjust to the milk
and the cheese,
so go easy on it. Somethin'
about the bacteria.
And be careful about
the hot water.
It's on one central system and
they got that cranked really high.
Surprised they haven't
had a lawsuit yet.
Oh, but you didn't
hear that from me.
Thanks Matt.
You're a nice guy.
And Paul?
Thanks for helping the planet.
Aaah!
Fuck!
Safranek?
That's me.
Okay!
And now from the United States,
where for many years, both the
Department of Homeland Security
and the Immigration and
Naturalization Service
have been warning about
the ease with which
downsized people--
from illegal immigrants
to potential terrorists--
could penetrate U.S. borders.
Last week's discovery
in Eugene, Oregon
provided new evidence
to support that claim.
Brian Fakler brings us up to date.
This Target is just one of
thousands of big-box
stores around the country
that import almost a million
tons of goods weekly,
most of it from Asia.
Last week, workers here in Eugene
opened a suspicious TV box
and discovered 17 downsized
stowaways from Vietnam,
14 of them already dead,
two more dying hours later
at a local hospital.
On Friday, the lone survivor,
a woman named Ngoc Lan Tran,
was transferred to a hospital at
Leisureland Estates in New Mexico,
widely considered the country's
top medical center for the small.
Doctors were forced to amputate
a portion of an infected leg,
and today her condition
is described as fair but stable.
According to a statement from the
Department of Homeland Security,
Ms. Tran claims to
have been jailed
for her political and
environmental activism,
and was miniaturized
against her will
in a Vietnamese prison facility.
If true, this would bolster
claims by human rights groups
that repressive governments
around the world...
So, do we need to review any of
the terms of the settlement?
No.
It's all pretty clear.
I really wish you'd
taken her first offer.
I know.
All right, well.
Just step back a little.
Don't want you to get hurt.
Um.
As large as you can, please.
Nice weather down here.
Turned real cold back in Omaha.
Uh-huh.
Wind chill.
Hey, Paul.
Thanks, man, you were right.
Raising my monitor
really did the trick.
My neck feels better, there's
no more tingling in my arm.
I would've never
made the connection.
That's great, I'm really
glad I could help.
Thank you for
calling Land's End.
My name is Paul,
how can I help you today?
Ciao, bello.
Hi, Carol.
Hey, pal.
Why the long face? Huh?
Look around you, buddy.
Life is good.
I made a mistake, Dave.
Biggest mistake of my life.
Should've stayed where I was.
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Look, I know divorce can put a
dent in anyone's self-esteem.
And what Audrey did to you
was beyond the pale.
I mean, I hate her.
I-I barely know her.
You may not hate her,
but I hate her guts.
You, you just gotta get back
in the saddle, that's all.
Ah, maybe someday.
If you want my advice,
single moms is the way to go.
Yeah, they got the whole kid
thing out of their system,
and they just wanna party
No, that's okay, I'm--
And if you don't want an
emotional connection, which
understandable, you just uh
well, we have all sorts of ways you
can have a good time down here.
No strings attached.
-Just put it on the old credit card.
-No, I'm good.
-Really.
-Okay, yeah.
In fact, I started
seeing someone.
Oh, yeah?
Single mom, actually.
Mm-hmm, now we're talkin'.
Good for you.
Paul, this is so good.
Thanks.
The recipe called
for chervil, but
you can't get chervil here yet.
-So, I used dill.
-Hm.
Well, whatever it is,
it's super-yummy.
It's the little things, you know?
I mean, except for there being
no birds or insects,
you'd think you're
in the normal world
and then somethin' happens
and you realize we're not.
I mean, not that substituting
dill for chervil
is that big a thing, but
you know what I mean.
Like last month,
my parents came down
to visit Jonah and me--
Mm-hmm.
and it's like this whole production
with the carrying boxes, and of
course Jonah gets freaked out
by Grandma and Grandpa
being so huge and scary.
Mm.
One night they took us out
for dinner at Fleming's,
-you know, real nice,
-Mm-hmm.
and Jonah and are
sitting on the table
in those special seats.
And the big people wouldn't
stop staring at us.
Plus, the restaurant brags about
how small people are welcome,
and then they charge
a huge minimum.
They should charge
big people extra.
They're the ones
dragging down the world.
I know.
Big people look at us
like we're freaks.
They're the freaks.
Oh, did you hear about all that
gas being released in Antarctica?
From the ice? The methane?
Oh, I haven't really been following
the news that much lately.
Apparently it's a big deal.
Scientists are saying
the more the ice melts,
the more methane comes out
making more ice melt.
Apparently we're already
way beyond the tipping--
It's my upstairs neighbor.
Well, it's the strangest thing,
I-there wasn't a peep for months
I don't even think he was here--
and then suddenly, it's
party, party, party.
I had to call security
the other night.
Dusan!
Hey, Dusan!
Dusan!
Yes?
You mind turning
down the music?
I'm trying to have a
quiet evening down here.
Hello, my friend.
Hello, Dusan.
May I come in?
Certainly.
So, listen, Pete,
Paul.
-Paul.
-Paul.
And Kristen.
-Ah, hello, Kristen.
-Hi.
I'm sorry I'm disturbing
your nice little dinner.
Listen...
as I was saying, Paul,
I'm having one more, you know,
little party at
my place tonight.
Not big like last time.
Very small.
Just a few close friends.
No!
Is that a rose?
-Yeah.
-A real rose?
Where'd you get a real rose?
It's a new store, uh,
Full-Sized Flower Mart.
How much they're
charging for this?
Dusan!
Dusan!
Quoi, ma Cherie?
What are you doing down there?
Oui, ma Cherie. J'arrive.
Anyway,
as I was saying,
Paul, if tonight
noise disturbs you,
just come upstairs talk to me.
Don't make big show
like last time,
yelling like crazy man.
We're neighbors.
Neighbors are friends.
What's better even,
come to the party.
Thanks, but like I said, we
just want to have
a quiet dinner.
Just try to keep it down, okay?
Yes, darling, of course.
Shh, shh.
Shh.
Oh.
Thanks for a really nice time.
Plus the cooking and all.
Sorry I have to leave so early,
but you know, the sitter...
Yeah, yeah. No...
I was...
Up one floor.
What?
Yeah, one more.
-Gracias
-Oh, gracias, tio.
Anyway, uh,
I was hoping uh, Sunday
we could bring Jonah.
I... I'd love to meet him.
Yeah...maybe.
-Something wrong?
-No.
You're a wonderful guy, Paul.
And I really enjoy
hanging out with you.
Uh-huh.
But, if I'm honest
about how I'm feeling,
I just-it might be uh--
it might be too soon for me.
It's fine, I get it.
-No, no...
-I get it. No, it's fine.
I just mean if we're
bringing Jonah into it...
Have a nice night.
No, I...
Paul!
A rose!
Paul!
You come.
And you bring the rose.
-It's a peace offering.
-Oh.
Look, everyone.
This is Paul, my neighbor.
And look at what he brings me.
A real fucking rose!
You think any of these other
ungrateful sons of bitches
think to bring
something to Dusan?
No. You're the only one.
I like you.
But, I know I said
it's only little party,
but I make two, three phone
calls to very close friends,
look what happens.
Everybody comes.
There's nothing else to do in this
fucking city after 10 o'clock.
Now, this I do not understand.
It's not as if so many people
have work in the morning.
You know, this is worst trait
about small people--
they're lazy.
Not all, not all. But lazy.
Like...this lazy son of a bitch.
Konrad!
What's that you're
saying about me?
What lies are you telling?
Just that in small world
no one wants to work.
What did you expect?
It's the wonderful thing
about becoming small.
Because you're immediately rich.
Unless you're very poor.
Then you're just small.
Konrad's a sea captain.
Oh?
Never more than ten meters
away from his boat.
Oh.
I do like my boat.
There she is.
Sonja, my beauty.
You see, I'm from
many generations.
All the way back to my
grandfathers, my father--
all sea captains.
So, what brings you
to Leisureland?
Dusan.
He even convinced
me to become small,
mostly for the women
and the parties.
And, frankly, my wife
had all the money,
and after she left,
things became a bit tricky.
Oh, I can relate.
It's quite wonderful
to be small, don't you think?
I'd say it has its
pluses and minuses.
Next week I'll be
in the Seychelles,
and two weeks after that, I'll be
sailing with friends for a
month on Lake Titicaca.
Can you believe I've never
been to Lake Titicaca?
Well, how does the boat
get from place to place?
I mean, you can't sail it.
FedEx, my dear boy.
Sonja travels faster than I do.
How'd you get a tiny
harpsichord down here?
Well, I didn't--I had
to have it raised.
Well, how?
Excuse me, who is that?
-Who's that?
-Yeah.
That's little Ronni.
That's little Ronni?
-The first small baby ever born.
-Yeah.
-Back in Norway?
-Shit.
-That's little Ronni.
-Yeah.
You should go talk to him.
Sorry, uh...
Sorry, excuse me, um,
is it-is it true you're little Ronni?
Well, maybe not
so little anymore.
But yeah, it's me.
Wow, that's...!
Do you thi-hey-would it be
cool to get a selfie?
-Yeah, man, get in here.
-Awesome.
Thank you so much,
I really appreciate it.
Thank you.
-Get in here.
-Wow.
Thank you, so are you.
What is that?
No, I need to know.
I-I have allergies.
Wait! Wait.
Okay.
De Granada a Casablanca
Enterr mi fantasa
Una guitarra, y un gitano canta
Canta mi Andaluca
I'm gonna take off my shoes.
Having fun?
Enough with the
fucking doorbell.
Good morning, Mr. Dusan.
We come clean for you.
So you had fun last night, yeah?
You didn't know were so lucky
to have exciting
neighbor such as me.
Well, I've never been
to a party like that.
I've nev-there were
so many Europeans.
Did you know little Ronni
was here? I mean...
-he is historic.
-And boring, you know.
Good-looking dumb
Norwegian guy
goes around the world
having sex with everyone--
women, men, hermaphrodites,
dogs, goats, monkeys.
He'll be the first small
baby to die of syphilis,
but... historic.
Well, apparently he still lives
in the original colony, you know,
over in Norway. I've always
wanted to see that.
It's all right.
You've been there?
Yeah, I go once or twice a year.
Konrad too. We make
business there.
Very good business.
Must be somethin' to see. I--
You know, you can't even
get pictures of it online?
Yes, my friend.
The world is filled
with things to see.
You know, I don't know you, Paul
but I like you,
I like you very much.
And my advice is
get out of this disgusting
little fucking apartment
and open your eyes.
Don't be so American.
You're nice guy, Paul,
but little bit pathetic guy.
Last night you dance,
you laugh
but inside you cry.
Who are you to talk
to me that way?
I'm Dusan Mirkovic,
your neighbor.
Neighbors are friends.
Friends tell friends the truth.
Okay, maybe sometimes
I'm a little bit asshole,
but the world needs assholes.
Otherwise where
would shit go out.
Dusan...
-Bye.
-Thank you.
When I think of big
people becoming small
-Mm-mm.
-all the new small cities
in the world, I see opportunity.
I ask myself, Dusan,
why the people they
want to become small?
To help the environment?
Please.
The become small
to have the things
which until now were
only for the rich,
which, by the way, is the
genius of the concept.
So I say to my brother Srdjan--
I work with my brother.
He's still big.
My wife, too, by the way.
I say,
why not bring very special items,
luxury items, to the
small consumer?
The-The things that nobody
else is thinking to bring?
Such as?
Well, Cohiba Esplendido.
Cuba. Best cigar in the world.
How much you pay for this
when you big?
Forty-five, fifty dollars.
When you small,
I sell you this cigar
for one dollar.
And from this one Cohiba,
we make about 2,000 cigars.
Okay, maybe they're not
actually made in Cuba.
Maybe they're rolled by
little Albanians in Bujanovac
but who cares?
And this is just one thing.
There's perfume, cologne,
brandy, port, Calvados,
truffles, caviar, pfft.
Is all that legal?
Baby, this is Wild West.
Who has time
chasing after some
fucking Serbian guy
five inches tall
over a few cigars
and some wine.
My brother and I are
now in seven small cities
around the world.
Seven.
And Paul, listen, anything
you want, I can get for you.
Anything, anytime.
Excuse me a minute.
Hello?
Uh, can I talk to you
for a minute?
Na-pro-shien. What this do?
Uh, Naproxen.
I-It's a anti-inflammatory.
It's for pain and swelling.
And this one, what this one do?
Uh, well, Vicodin. That's
also a pain killer,
but...you wanna be really
careful with that one.
Pain killer? Pain killer good.
Listen, I-- this is not
my apartment and, uh,
you know, I'm sure you're
probably in a lot of pain, but
y-you shouldn't steal pills.
I no steal.
They too old, no good.
Mr. Dusan, he say me okay
I take away things.
Pill for sick friend.
Okay, I finish now.
Bathroom clean.
Well, whatever's wrong
with your friend,
I can see that you have a really,
really bad prosthetic foot
and I'm sure it's causing you
pain in your right hip and knee,
probably your other knee,
your lower-back.
How you know this thing?
You doctor?
Occupational therapist.
Wait a minute.
I-I know you.
You're the--oh, my God.
You're that woman from
a couple of years ago,
the dissident.
From Thailand or something?
What's your name?
Tran Ngoc Lan. Vietnam.
Tran Ngoc Lan from Vietnam.
Yes! that's right.
that's--and I
remember that you-you
lost your leg below the knee.
that's-that-
that's you!
Wow!
Uh, Dusan!
Hey! Do you know
who this is here?
Of course, the famous
Ngoc Lan Tran.
Dramatic escape from
Vietnamese prison,
almost died, so now,
she can clean my house.
America, big land of opportunity.
Push up, push again.
Push, push, push.
Okay, that's--now take your
heel back towards you.
Even harder if you can.
Even--yeah.
Yeah.
You-you put your hand
right here, now--
Feel that. Okay. See
that crunching?
You hear it?
Yeah, that's arthritis.
That's already...pretty bad.
Paul,
you're full of surprises.
You can do this but you work
shit job answering phones?
Well, when I moved down here,
I didn't think I'd be working
so I let my license expire and...
now, I'd have to get it
in a whole 'nother state.
It's a whole...it's a boring story.
I hate to say it, but...
if you don't do
something pretty soon,
you're gonna need a new knee.
Maybe even a new hip.
You gotta go to a specialist
as soon as you can
a-and get a whole new foot.
In the meantime,
I could make some adjustments
on the existing prosthetic.
And maybe give you some
pointers on how to walk better.
I just hate to see you
needlessly suffer
after all you've been through.
Okay. I finish work
you come with me.
Yeah, no, I can get my tools,
I can do it right here.
No. I say you before my
friend sick, need pill.
You come with me my house.
Help her.
You help her.
I...I don't think I was clear.
I can help you with this
but I'm not a doctor, so
your friend, whatever's
wrong with her,
she's gotta go to a
clinic or a hospital...
No! Clinic no good.
I bring her clinic
wait too long time.
Stupid doctor say no help
for her, no do nothing.
He no good stupid doctor in
big world, now he small.
You come with me.
You come with me now.
Uh.
Come.
You live near here?
No, still far.
Maybe we should grab a car.
No need car. Take bus.
If-If you don't mind my asking,
you were so famous a
couple of years ago,
I mean, everybody was
talking about you.
I just would've thought
you'd have been
giving speeches
or writing books.
How'd-How'd you wind up
cleaning houses?
Need money for live.
After TV box, I stay hospital
so long time, almost die.
Then three host family,
but too much problems.
Leisureland people
too selfish.
Better I live only me,
work job make money, easy.
Hey, you!
Come, come!
Buenas noches.
Yo!
Come on.
No time for baby dreams.
Can I ask how high we're going?
-Seven floor.
-Seven?
Well, can we use the elevator?
No elevator.
Hola Benita, Como esta?
Hola.
Take the shoe.
Hola Gladys!
This lady Gladys.
Gladys my friend.
She very sick.
Gladys, how you feel?
Cmo est?
Cmo est?
I bring food for you.
I bring doctor. This man doctor.
Hombre mdico.
Mdico.
This lady Gladys alone,
no have nobody.
Husband die Mexico
when they make small.
Stupid people forget take
the gold from the teeth,
head explode.
What?
Husband head explode.
Head explode. From teeth.
She come alone, no money.
I meet her she housekeeper
first host family,
rich Leisureland people.
Now she sick, no more work.
Okay you take care for her.
I can't do anything for her.
That woman is really sick.
Looks like she might die.
Oh yeah she die soon.
Cancer. Cancer
all over stomach.
I be with her she die.
Most bad thing die alone.
Come on, be like doctor.
Make her feel good.
Hola Seora.
Where does it hurt?
Everything hurts.
I do not have much
time left in my life.
Which pill most good for her?
I have no idea.
But you know thing.
Which pill most strong?
Percocet.
Yes, Percocet.
Very good for pain.
How much--two, four, five?
How much?
Try two.
Two? This lady very sick.
Pill old.
We give four.
These are for the pain.
Gracias, doctor.
Have you tried to move her
every couple of hours
so she doesn't get bedsores?
We should probably do that.
Come, there you--okay.
See? You know thing.
Thank you Mr. Dusan friend.
You help Gladys good.
Okay. Well.
Let's make those adjustments.
If you just wanna
slip off your foot.
No, no foot. I tired.
You go away.
I stay with Gladys.
You go away now.
Really? I mean--
I tired. You go away.
Okay.
Some other time, I guess.
I just-I just don't know when
I'm gonna see you again.
Thursday. You come
Thursday, okay?
Thursday morning
you come fix leg.
Ten o'clock.
Thursday at ten o'clock.
My name's Paul, by the way.
Paul Safranek.
Let's see...
The Extra Large is
available in glacier,
pebble, tulip, cayenne,
moss and aubergine.
Cayenne, is-is that like red?
It's-It's a brownish red.
It's more like brick.
No, I don't like brick.
Do you think moss is pretty?
You know, I-I don't know, lady.
Why don't you just
pick a color please?
Don't be short with me.
What did you say?
Shoe.
Where's Gladys?
Oh, she die.
No. oh...
I'm so sorry.
I think maybe I give
her too much pill.
Anyway, she die
very happy smiling.
Okay, you fix foot now.
You do quick.
Must clean house soon.
One hour.
You do quick.
Quick!
Oh, thank you, very nice.
You finish soon okay?
I very busy.
I'm gettin' there.
I guess you like butterflies.
Butterflies.
Yes I like very much.
When I little girl
my father he take me
my sister go see butterfly.
Near my village
they live in a tree.
You know,
they fly cold place to
hot place every year.
Stay tree then
go away come back.
The uh, migrating butterflies.
-Yes.
-Yeah, sounds beautiful.
How do you say butterfly
in Vietnamese?
Con bu''m.
Kon booyem?
Con bu''m.
Kon booyem.
You miss your village?
No more village.
Government make the
people go away put water
all over, all over everywhere.
Too much water.
Too much water?
Big water for make electricity.
Oh, a dam.
-Yes, dam. They make dam.
-Dam. Uh-huh.
Many village no more.
That's why I go prison.
Me my sister make protest.
-Big protest.
-Uh-huh.
Well, where's your sister now?
She die prison.
Too cold. Chest fill up bad.
She die.
-What happen?
-Nothin'.
No, just, no...
give me a minute, just--
-What you do?
-No, nothing, nothing, I just--
You stupid man!
You needed a new foot anyway.
We'll get you a good one.
Is that so hard to understand?
Jesus!
Don't say Jesus bad way!
What, now I'm supposed
to watch my language?
You're worse than my mother.
I feel sorry for your mother.
I sure she suffer too
much for your fault.
Not do so fast!
Vacuum cleaner need time
same direction clean good.
Yeah, and you can take these,
these are samosas from
a couple of days ago.
Thank you, yes.
I take all these.
Oh, I think this is saag paneer--
might be a little bit old.
Oh, in prison
we die for such food.
Okay, not too many leftover
entrees today
but I threw in lots of
baked potato soup.
Thank you, Roger.
There you go.
Hey, finally got yourself
a helper, huh, Ngoc Lan?
This Paul. He break my foot.
How'd you manage that, buddy?
It's a long story,
we're sorting it out.
He stupid!
Hola, Seor Crdenas.
Hambre?
Ay, s, chinita. Gracias.
God will repay you.
How's your lung?
How's your lung?
I feel a little better today.
Gracias.
Bueno.
Okay, over here, this way.
Mucho dolor, verdad?
Yes, it hurts a lot.
Oh, it looks really painful.
I give him baths and scrub him
and put herbs,
but nothing helps.
I bet that's ringworm
which I don't know
how to say in Spanish.
But ringworm is a fungus, so
you want it dry.
Seco. Seco. No bao.
No bao. No agua. No agua.
And uh...
see if I can pick something
up at the drugstore
and bring it for him tomorrow.
Yes, you bring.
Maana medicina.
Maana medicina.
-Maana medicina.
-Gracias, doctor.
Okay, next. Let's go.
-Gracias, doctor.
-Gracias.
-Let's go!
-I'm comin'.
Take care for him.
-See you next time.
-Gracias.
So that's it?
We go home now?
Now we go church pray Jesus.
You come back tomorrow
pick me up eight o'clock.
Yeah, okay, I'll be here.
Good morning, Mr. Dusan.
We come clean for you.
Answering telephones was not
dignified enough for you.
Now you progress
to cleaning toilets.
I love you, Paul.
I really love you.
You're such a funny guy.
Hilarious.
Like I said,
you're too much nice guy
and a little bit...pathetic guy.
It's just until
she gets a new foot.
-When will that be.
-I don't know.
The doctor said a month,
maybe six weeks.
-Ah, that's an eternity.
-I know.
Meantime she's stuck
with a peg leg,
which is almost as bad
as having nothing at all.
I mean, look at her,
she's waddling around
like a goddamned pirate!
Paul! You no talk
with Mr. Dusan!
You go upstairs with Veronica!
-Paul!
-I heard you.
Don't worry, Paul.
Dusan will save you.
Wow.
Yeah, Miss Tran,
take everything.
Mr. Konrad and I are
leaving day after tomorrow
and don't know when
we'll be back.
Okay good. Thank you.
Paul, Mr. Dusan say
I take all the food.
You go find me big box.
In a minute.
First there's something
very important to discuss.
Me?
This is the situation.
I don't know exactly what,
but something big-- very big-
is happening at the
original small colony.
You know, the one in Norway.
They want me to
go there right away
with a very important delivery.
It's too complicated to explain.
Top secret and... very urgent.
Most important they are
offering us very big money.
Very big.
That means we need extra help
to do this quickly,
make them happy.
And I'm sorry to say, we need
the same excellent helper
who is currently helping you.
Him.
That's right, Ngoc Lan,
I have to go with
these guys to Norway.
So... you say...
Paul go with you Norway?
That's the situation.
Emergency situation.
And deeply humanitarian.
I mean, Ngoc Lan, I will
be able to help when I get
back one-hundred-percent
when the new foot, and--
You leave Wednesday?
Yes.
And how long you go?
Ten days. Maybe more.
Okay, yes, Norway.
I go Norway too.
No, no, no, not you.
Only Paul.
I go Norway too.
Paul, you help me
on the trip.
But you're very busy here
with humanitarian
activities on your own.
And your cleaning business.
Veronica and other ladies
know every place.
They do for me,
I pay them good.
No problem I go.
Norway colony people
invite me so many time
but I never go.
Feel so, so guilty.
They so nice people.
What?
Who invited you?
When I hospital so long time
after TV box,
people all over world
send me happy card,
flower, candy,
make me feel good.
So many letter.
One letter very special
I never forget.
From Jorgen Asbjornsen.
You got a letter from
Jorgen Asbjornsen?
Dr. Asbjornsen write me
say he feel so, so bad
I suffer for his fault.
He say he painful.
He never think make small
so bad for people.
Dr. Asbjornsen letter
make me feel so good.
I write letter too,
say now first time
I happy be small.
He say me make trip
go Norway any day.
But I too busy.
Always too busy.
Now Jesus give me
special gift, go Norway.
Thank you Mr. Dusan,
thank you Mr. Konrad.
Yes.
I go Norway too.
So happy.
Thank you special time.
Paul, look.
This Jorgen Asbjornsen.
And his wife.
Oh, my God. Jorgen Asbjornsen.
Hello.
This is such an honor.
I know, I know.
See, Paul?
Jesus smile for me.
I say Paul I want visit
Norway only for meet you.
It's true.
-I'm Anne-Helene.
-Hello.
Please, sit. Join us.
Thank you.
We're watching the world go by.
Sounds great.
You have no idea how terribly
grief-stricken we were
by Miss Tran's case.
Jorgen has lost so much
sleep over all the abuses.
It's humbling, huh?
Nature is such
a patient sculptor.
Grinding a tiny bit
each day slowly, slowly
for thousands of years to
make such a supremely
beautiful thing.
What a waste.
What a dreadful waste.
You'll have to excuse Jorgen.
These past few days has
been especially hard.
Such a big decision to make
and so quickly.
Normally when
we visit the Colony,
we like to spend a few
days in Honningsvg.
But then the news came...
and uh, yeah,
well, here we are
suddenly imposing on you.
We scarcely had
the time to pack.
I'm sorry, w-what news?
Why, the methane release.
In Antarctica. You must
know about the methane.
Yeah...
that's not-that's not
new, is it? I mean--
New or old,
it's the end.
It's the end of everything.
The world has already seen
five major extinctions,
and now there will be another.
I...I didn't want to believe it.
None of us did, but
there we were in Helsinki,
big and small.
Climatologists, bacteriologists,
demographers, physicists,
immunologists,
26 Nobel Prize
winners among us.
We built all the models,
did all the math,
and all conclusion
was consistent.
Homo Sapiens will soon
vanish from the Earth.
It is now an
actuarial certainty.
No matter how
the end will come--
environmental disaster,
pandemic disease,
unbreathable air,
impotable water,
not enough food,
nuclear winter, some
combination of them all.
Relatively soon the Earth will
indeed purge itself of human life,
and God knows how
many other species.
Do you really mean extinction?
What about downsizing?
Yeah, yeah, too little too late.
Only three percent of the
world has miniaturized.
There simply isn't enough time.
Not a very successful
species, these Homo Sapiens,
even with such great
intelligence.
Barely 200,000 years.
Alligator has survived
200 million years
with a brain
the size of a walnut.
People have been predicting
the end of the world
for thousands of years.
And now it's really happening.
I guess somebody
had to be right someday.
So sad.
Very sad.
Okay, I go sleep now.
Good night, Paul.
Good night, Ngoc Lan.
Ay.
You okay?
I fine.
You know, maybe I should
take a look at your leg.
Okay, yes, you look.
Oh, yup.
Wow.
That peg is really
making the skin chafe.
Okay.
You know,
if somebody told me
ten years ago
that one day I'd be
five inches tall,
divorced,
helping a famous Vietnamese
dissident get a new foot
while cruising up
a fjord in Norway
discussing the end of the
world with Jorgen Asbjornsen,
I would've said he was crazy.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I-I thought--
Jesus, I'm such an idiot.
No.
Please.
I want.
Morning.
Good morning.
What's that sound?
A greeting.
Wow!
That's it, that's
the original colony.
Wait, and there's no net?
No walls?
No, we've been lucky.
We are too close to the
sea for the mosquitoes.
And over the years,
we realized
that the birds, they
preferred the lemmings.
But yes, this is
where we started
many years ago.
Jorgen, good to see you.
Welcome.
No, no.
Jorgen!
Anne-Helene!
Oh, thank God you're here!
Why didn't anyone
tell me?
Oh, I love you so much.
I love you both so much.
Oh, ever since the decision,
I didn't feel right
without you here.
And you know
how I am when I worry.
I can't eat. I can't sleep.
Ask anyone here,
they tell you.
Sorry to interrupt, Jorgen,
but we need your
advice immediately.
Yes. Excuse us, Solveig.
Of course, darling. You've
got important things to do.
Oh! Dusan, Dusan, Dusan!
Bless you for coming so quickly.
Solveig, my darling,
I'm always happy to help
in difficult times, in easy
times, in happy times.
Is always a pleasure to come and
visit you and your lovely village.
Oh, it is lovely, isn't it?
I can't bear to think
I won't see it again.
You know, I'm the one
who made this colony
possible in the first place.
I've been coming since
I was just a baby.
I remember one time--
Wait. I know you.
You were in my dream last night.
You were a horse or a pony--
something very strong.
And I mounted you and rode you
through a dangerous forest.
-Okay.
-And here you are.
Right before we leave.
Another miracle.
You are coming with us,
aren't you?
Where are you going?
In there.
Would you like to see?
Where this go?
To the vault.
-The vault?
-Oh, yes.
We've been working on it almost
since the very beginning.
When Jorgen made
his big discovery,
I said, look, Jorgen,
you're a genius,
and downsizing is a genius idea.
No one is questioning that.
But what if people
don't accept it?
What if it doesn't
come out on time?
Anyway, this is what
they came up with.
On my suggestion.
Torvald, be a sweetheart and
give our friends a little tour.
Well, sure.
The tunnel leads to a vault
1.6 kilometers inside
the Earth's lithosphere
and is encased in a double
layer of Inconel 625.
In addition to maintaining a
broad spectrum of biodiversity,
the vault is equipped with
fields for growing foods,
forests for lumber, livestock
for animal husbandry.
The residential
areas are spacious
and easily expandable to provide
for future generations.
Wait, but that's not
all underground?
Oh, yes!
Our new small size
makes it possible.
Otherwise we never could
have dreamed of preserving
so much of the world
in a single safe place.
This is brilliant.
Isn't this brilliant? It's like-
It's like Noah's Ark.
Yes. exactly!
It's Noah's Ark!
So, how-what do you do for
power, is it nuclear?
No, no, 100% geothermal.
And we have interoperable
organic systems
to manage production of
artificial sunlight,
oxygen, CO2 elimination,
water purification, and so on.
And how long will you
stay down there?
Torvald, how long is it?
8,000 years?
Well, something like that.
Just until the surface
environment stabilizes.
It's not unprecedented
what we are doing here.
Less than a hundred
thousand years ago
humans underwent
a near-extinction.
Maybe 2,000 survived.
And from that handful
came all of the billions
of people you see today.
Rebooting the species.
It's nothing new.
Yeah, exactly.
My friends.
Many years ago,
when we discovered
cellular miniaturization,
the world which had
seemed so doomed
felt suddenly so full
of possibilities.
So, until very recently,
I maintained hope
that the contingency plan
we embark upon tomorrow
could remain simply that--
a plan.
But...
history has spoken.
And this is our final dinner in
the place we've called home
for so many years.
Yes, we are sad to leave,
and terribly sad
for the reasons why.
But man is too beautiful,
too improbable a life form
to be allowed to disappear
forever from the cosmos.
Now then,
I would like to ask the
surviving members of the
original colony to stand.
Ah, look at him.
Little Ronni.
How he has grown.
I ask you again
as I asked you
so many years ago.
Generations to come,
perhaps all of humanity
will thank you
for your bravery
and commitment.
But you must ask yourself
whether you are truly ready
to enter a new world.
For there will be
no turning back.
Are you ready?
I am ready!
I am ready!
-I am ready!
-Yes!
I am ready!
Is everyone ready?
We are ready!
We are ready!
We are ready!
We are ready!
We are ready!
We are ready!
We are ready!
We are ready!
We are ready!
We are ready!
We are ready!
Paul!
Yeah.
Can you come down here?
Where you go?
I look many place for you.
I was just here.
I talk with Mr. Dusan,
he say fat lady pay,
he ready go back.
I happy for that.
Too long time away from Seor
Cardenas and Mrs. Lopez.
Oh, I worry too much for them.
Ngoc Lan, you can't just be
worried for a few little people
thousands of miles away.
You have to look at
the big picture.
Why you say like this?
Because...Mr. Cardenas
and Mrs. Lopez,
they don't stand a chance,
None of us do.
It's over.
You want go with them.
And I want you to come with me.
You crazy man!
Always I know you stupid.
Now I see you crazy too.
How am I crazy?
You heard them.
This is the only chance for
the survival of our species--
that's huge!
You want to help people?
These are the people
that you should be helping.
The future of humanity
is down that hole!
Who you help down there?
People here need help,
not down stupid hole!
Mr. Dusan, Mr. Konrad,
talk to crazy Paul.
He want go down hole,
me go with him.
Paul, Paul, Paul...
Why do you want to do
such a silly thing?
Dusan, these people are
actually trying to do something
to save the human race.
I wanna be a part of that.
Okay, fine, you want to help
then do what I did,
give them a semen sample.
I did it too.
A much more
pleasant way to help.
If I'm not supposed to be
a part of this thing,
then w-what am I doing here?
Why didn't I become a doctor?
Why did I downsize?
Why did my wife abandon me?
Dusan, how did you just
happen to be my neighbor?
And-And Ngoc Lan,
why are you
the only person who
survived that box
and you just happen
to be cleaning
Dusan's place on that day?
And-And had you
not lost your leg,
I wouldn't have tried to
help you, which, as usual,
I screwed up.
And why did I screw it up?
So that I could be here
right at the exact moment
to go down into that tunnel.
I finally have a chance to
do something that matters.
Oh, Paul, come on,
now you're talking crazy.
These people,
they're wonderful, but--
It's like a cult.
It's a cult. You know,
and the extinction, well,
it's not gonna happen for, you
know, maybe few hundred years.
Has nothing to do with you.
Forget it.
Besides, you think they won't
behave like people always behave?
They're all gonna go insane
down there and kill each other.
They'll go extinct
long before we do.
Don't worry, darling.
He said it himself.
Nothing he ever wants
to do works out.
It's a beautiful day, huh?
I mean, knowing this is the
last time I'll see the real sun,
it makes it so... vibrant.
I ask you question.
You say me truth. Okay?
Of course.
Other night on boat...
what kind of fuck you give me?
What?
What kind of fuck you give me?
What kind? I don't...
American people,
eight kind of fuck.
Love fuck, hate fuck,
sex-only fuck,
break-up fuck, make-up fuck,
drunk fuck, buddy fuck,
pity fuck.
Okay, I-I have no idea
where you heard that.
Third host family.
Okay, Th-that is just wrong.
Okay, there's a whole spectrum
of-of emotions and-
and motivations.
And don't say "fuck", i-it's vulgar.
Say something else like, you know,
"make love" or I don't know.
So... was love fuck?
Okay, what is this all about?
You look for me,
you want help me,
you make fuck with me,
now you go down stupid hole.
So I try to think
what kind fuck you give me.
I think maybe pity fuck.
For leg.
No, no, Ngoc Lan,
I care about you deeply.
You are such an
extraordinary person
and I just admire you so much.
More than anything,
I want you to come with me.
People always say me I strong.
Okay, maybe Vietnam
I organize many protest,
survive two year prison
punish me make small.
I only person survive TV box.
I walk around no foot.
Take care of other people.
But I woman.
Feeling.
I'm sorry.
I really am.
It's so easy for me
to see who you are.
But if I don't do this,
who am I?
I mean, really. Who am I?
You Paul Safranek.
You good man.
Look, there's butterflies!
Look, Ngoc Lan! Butterflies!
Kon booyem! Kon booyem!
I guess this is it.
Konrad.
Very nice to have met you.
Pleasure was mine.
Good luck in there, Paul.
Take care of yourself.
I will.
You too.
I will miss my funny neighbor.
Your bible.
But it's in Vietnamese.
Words not matter.
Remember me.
You go away now.
Excuse me.
Hi, uh...
Is it just me or are
we walking uphill?
Yes. Prevents flooding.
-Tunde.
-Oh, hi. Paul.
It's just a few hours climb
before we begin
the descent to the vault.
Well, how long
is the whole walk?
Eleven hours.
Something like that.
See you down there.
Stay hydrated.
Wait!
Wait!
Thank you so much.
-Wait, my bag.
-Leave it.
No, no, no!
I told you nothing ever
works out for this guy.
-Get my bag out!
-It's going to blow! Run!
Paul!
Ngoc Lan!
I was thinking about
what you were saying.
And I realized you were right.
I am Paul Safranek.
And what you were asking...
It was a love fuck.
And to think...
one day all of this...
Now maybe you
understand little bit
how I feel
after survive TV box.
When you know
death come soon,
you look around
things more close.
Wait here, I'll be right back.
I want go too. I want
see Rosa new baby.
No, see the baby tomorrow,
it's pouring.
Hurry.
Don't forget we still
need go see Filipine man,
take care for his arm!
I know. Stop obsessing,
will you?
Hola, Seor Cardenas.
-Oh, Hola, Paul.
-Are you hungry?
A lot. What did you
bring me today?
Ah, I think it's chicken.
Yes, chicken.
Thank you, Paul.
Okay, you're welcome.
See you tomorrow.
Now that you're with me
nothing makes me feel small
Now that I'm with you
we can get through it all
There's a moment,
can you feel it?
Catch that moment
When we rise or fall
As the rain falls
as the clouds close above
As the light falters
as the world cries enough
As the tempest
rages around us
As the sky
is churning in chaos
I'll be with you
through it all
Empires tumble
Dynasties collapse
Kettles boil dry
And shoelaces snap
And yet still
If the world seems
it's teetering on the brink
When you're beside me
I see our troubles shrink
What's a little change
in the weather?
Storm or swell
we'll breathe it together
And I'll be with you
through it all
Empires tumble
Dynasties collapse
Kettles boil dry
And shoelaces snap
And yet still
I could stare down tornadoes
and never flinch
It's a breeze when
you're with me every inch
Let the globe
spin off its orbit
Flood or earthquake
We'll absorb it all
Great or small
Yeah, you okay?
We have it.
Andreas, we have it.
It works.
Jorgen.
It gives me great pleasure
to welcome
the director of the institute
and my old friend,
Dr. Andreas Jacobsen.
Thank you.
Thank you, Dr. Pereira.
Seventy-five years ago,
Mrs. Nellie Edvardsen,
overcome with guilt
by the fortune
her late husband's
family had amassed
producing mustard gas
during World War I,
founded our institute
so that the wonders of science
could instead be used
to help mankind.
In the 1950s,
the institute identified
over-population
as mankind's single
greatest long-term threat,
the cause of all the catastrophes
we are seeing today--
extreme climate and
weather events,
and the devastating impact
on food and water security.
Among the many solutions we
conceived so many years ago,
one...
which seemed then
so ambitious, so
out of our grasp
has finally borne fruit.
And today we are proud to unveil
what we fervently believe
to be the only practical,
humane and inclusive remedy
to humanity's greatest problem.
My colleague,
Dr. Jorgen Asbjornsen
will now present his findings.
Are you ready, doctor?
Yes, I'm ready.
Please take your seats.
Please sit down, ladies
and gentlemen, please.
Please take your seats,
ladies and gentlemen.
Thank you very much.
Thank you.
Thank you, thank you.
Dr. Pereira, esteemed colleagues.
Five years ago,
building on the research of our
predecessors at the institute,
my team and I
discovered a process
by which all organic
material can be reduced
at the cellular level
by a ratio of approximately
2,744 to one.
Such a process converts
a man of 1.8 meters
to just 12.9 centimeters.
A wide array of flora and fauna
were subjected in this process
and with the exception
of some fish and shellfish,
absolutely no side effects
were detected.
Please, lights.
Once the safety of the
procedure was confirmed,
thirty-six brave volunteers
joined my wife
Anne-Helene and me
as the very first humans
to undergo cellular reduction.
The process is short
and painless,
with only the mild
discomfort of removal
and replacement of dental
and other prosthetics.
The subjects are placed
under light sedation,
and after a brief rest,
fully recover within
an hour or two.
Once completed,
our little village,
just seven meters
by eleven meters,
was place inside
a gas-permeable enclosure
designed to protect us
from the hazards of weather,
animals and insects.
Thus we set about
to live together
in the world's
very first self-sustaining
community of the small.
I hold here in my hand
all of the uncompostable waste
produced by 36 people
over four years.
In this afternoon's session,
we will outline our proposal for a
two to three-hundred year transition
for the world to transform
from big into small.
But for now,
I'd like you all to meet
some very special people.
Bravo!
Yes!
Bravo!
And look,
there is little Ronnie Nesthritt,
the first small baby ever born.
And his new little
sister Ulrikke.
of the Edvardsen Institute,
himself now only ten centimeters
tall and weighing just 18 grams,
explained the rationale
behind the invention.
Wow! That is wild, isn't it?
Just wild.
Say, Holly,
you can go ahead and put
the take-out order in, thanks.
-Is that you?
-Yeah.
You hungry?
I ate about an hour ago.
I didn't know when
you were coming.
You knew I was bringing food.
I called you and
asked you specifically.
-I just had sesame chicken.
-And then you go and eat.
I'm still hungry.
screams premeditation.
Yet relatively few people
knew about his new book.
Did you see the news today?
About the little Swedish man?
Norwegian.
Yeah, Helen called to
tell me to turn on the TV.
What won't they think of next.
Unbelievable. Biggest thing since
landing on the moon. Bigger.
Mm.
I don't get it.
Why would anybody want
to do that to himself?
They can shrink people down,
fly to mars,
and they can't cure
my fibromyalgia?
And all this fuss
about the environment
though the world's gonna
end tomorrow.
I'm in pain.
I can't breathe.
Doesn't that matter?
Lots of people are in pain, Mom.
In all sorts of ways.
Hola Carmen.
Are you ready?
Strong, strong.
Is it usually or more like...
tingling?
-More like tingling.
-Tingling. Okay.
This downsizing thing is simply
runaway train technology
that's having a
devastating impact
on our world economy.
We're losing billions of dollars
in consumer spending already.
It's hurting us
in construction,
automobile, housing,
and defense.
And then of course,
when we get to politics,
-Israelis shrinking Palestinians,
-Ron...
African dictators
-shrinking rival ethnic groups.
-Ron. Look, Ron.
In any major transformation
of society,
are there serious growing pains?
Sure.
But at current mass and volume,
human life on Earth
is unsustainable.
You know, that one guy
makes a good point.
This family on my block
just moved away to get small,
now their house
is just sittin' there.
Makin' everybody's values take
a dive is what they're doin'.
Just when I'm tryin'
to refinance.
Marlene thinks I should
do it just to lose the weight.
You and me both, buddy.
Hey, Dee, is that take-out
order about ready?
Hey, honey, I brought food.
I'm not hungry.
What's wrong?
I have a splitting headache.
The store was
super busy and
Carla was a total
bitch on wheels.
I feel like I'm gonna throw up.
Here, wait, let me
do the neck thing.
Yeah, do the little neck thing.
Mm.
Just relax, honey.
Let me take all the weight.
Okay, here's the beautiful
formal living room
with the wonderful fireplace.
And come around here,
we have
a nice big breakfast
area for the kitchen.
Big eating area.
And this kitchen
is just a complete wow.
No, it's awesome. Just...
maybe we should look again
at that place in Benson.
Come on, let's just
check out the rest.
This is great in here,
double oven,
six burner gas stove.
It's got this wonderful
butler's pantry over here.
-Oh, hey, Sean.
-Oh, hey, Paul, how you doin'?
Good.
Do I look fat?
No, you look very handsome.
Anesthesiology, huh?
My wife says I put people to sleep
even without the drugs, so.
Surprised you're still awake.
He uses that joke
like twice a week.
What's your field, Paul?
Uh, occupational therapy.
Okay.
Oh, like-like career counseling?
Uh, no, it's just like
physical therapy
but focused on workplace
injuries and rehab,
repetitive stress, lower back,
that sort of thing.
A lot of shoulder problems.
I-I'm in-house over
at Omaha Steaks.
-He does a lot of paperwork.
-Yeah, well...
I get a little carpal tunnel
of my own from time to time.
Tell me about it.
Medicine these days is
all about covering your ass.
But weren't you pre-med
down in Lincoln?
Good memory, yeah.
I put in two years
uh, then my mom got real sick
so I moved back to Omaha
to take care of her.
I wanted to be
a surgeon, actually.
You know, we might've ended
up working together.
I...you could've been
my anesthesiologist.
-How 'bout that?
-Yeah.
Oh, my God! No way.
I saw her heading to the table
Like a tall walking big black cat
Dave?
It's Dave, Dave Johnson.
And Carol!
Can I have a hand?
I-I heard he was coming.
I had no idea.
He never struck me as the kind
of guy who'd go get small.
Wow!
A-jumping out
of doors and tables
When I heard somebody
shootin' a gun
Well the DA was
pumping my left hand
Ah, but she was
a-holding my right
-Hey, everybody!
-Hi!
-Hey.
-Hi.
Hope we're not intruding.
-No.
-No, Dave.
Hey, Andy?
Could you get Carol a, uh...
Uh, gin and tonic.
A gin and tonic.
With lime.
With lime.
Well, actually, we weren't
planning on coming at all at first.
But then, you know, we started
getting all the e-mails.
Plus my sister was
having a lump removed.
I mean, she's-she's fine,
thank God.
But I still needed to see her.
So, what's traveling like?
How'd you guys get up here
from New Mexico?
Oh, gosh, it's great.
Yeah, the airlines are getting
more and more small-friendly.
All the seats are first-class...
So after a couple of years in
Florida, we moved out to Vegas.
And that...
Yeah, I think that's the
last time we talked.
Yeah. Well, Vegas wasn't
such a good choice for me,
as it turns out.
Got into some real bad habits.
Pretty much hit rock bottom.
Tell ya, any other woman
would've run for the hills.
Carol, man, she's a saint.
She stuck with me.
But I really had to come
clean about everything.
I-I mean everything.
You know...almost.
So, the decision to...
Well, that's the thing.
We both needed the change.
Hit the reset button.
Start all over.
Well, and plus, it
must feel good to know
you're really making
a difference.
You mean all that crap
about saving the planet?
Yeah.
Downsizing is about
saving yourself.
I-It takes the pressure right off.
Especially money pressure.
I'm just not driven and ambitious
like the rest of my family.
And now, Carol and I,
we live like kings.
I'm still living in the
same house I grew up in.
I mean, Audrey's
dying for us to move
but we're really strapped.
I mean, shit, I just finished
paying off my student loans.
Yeah, well...
Listen, if you ever start
thinkin' about it seriously,
here's my two cents, uh...
There's a lot of small communities
croppin' up out there, but
don't mess around.
Leisureland's where
you wanna be.
Best houses, best appliances,
best doctors.
They book all the
big concert tours.
They got all the
great restaurants.
The kids love
Cheesecake Factory.
And Leisureland's
got three of 'em.
And hey, I'm not just saying
all this for the referral credit.
Just so you know.
I liked little Carol.
She's got a lot on the ball.
She's reading books she
always wanted to read.
She's taking Italian.
And she's never been fitter.
Well, they sure seem happy.
Dave says he's getting
pretty good on the drums.
Next year, they're taking
the kids out of school
to spend six months at a
sister city in Tuscany.
Cooking classes, yoga,
wine-tasting,
the whole nine yards.
Hey, Saf, Audrey, it's Milo.
Bad news.
Your mortgage application at
First National bounced back.
The underwriter didn't like
the income to debt ratios--
they're a little excessive.
I-I don't know if you
can come up with
another ten-fifteen
percent down.
If you could, maybe
goose it up a little bit...
And then we'll be able to tell
right away if it's for us or not.
Yeah, so let's not
waste a lot of time.
Maybe if we get to Santa Fe early,
we can get a massage.
Sounds good to me.
Out together dancin'
cheek to cheek
Heaven
I'm in heaven
And the cares that
hung around me
through the week
Seem to vanish like
a gambler's lucky streak
When we're out together dancin'
cheek to cheek
Welcome, everybody!
I'm Jeff Lonowsky,
Senior Product Specialist
and happy homeowner here
at Leisureland Estates.
You havin' a good time?
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
Come on, guys, you're a heck
of a lot bigger than I am.
Make some noise!
Are you havin' a good time?
-Yeah!
-Yeah!
-Yeah!
-Yeah!
That's more like it.
So, what do you
think of my place?
Pretty nifty, huh?
It's the house of my dreams.
Heck, I'd say this is the
house of anybody's dreams.
Why, an average guy like me
would have to work twenty,
thirty, maybe forty years
to afford a place like this,
if ever.
And just wait till
you see what's inside.
Oh.
Jeff?
You've gotta stop inviting
guests over without telling me.
Oh, sorry, Laura.
I was only--
I mean, I finally just got in the
tub to relax after such a busy day.
Busy doing what, sweetheart?
Oh, no end of things.
First I took a tennis lesson
and had a massage.
Nice.
And then after a gourmet
lunch with the girls,
well, we couldn't help ourselves
so we popped into that new
Loget's jewelry store downtown.
Uh-oh, Loget's. What's
than gonna cost me?
Now, Jeff, you hush.
I was really good.
Just another diamond bracelet.
Just a diamond bracelet?
That doesn't sound like you.
You're right, I don't
like to break up a set.
So, I got matching
diamond earrings
and a matching diamond necklace.
All conflict-free,
and set in platinum.
How much, Laura?
Oh, but Jeff, they look so good
on me, and you should see--
How much, Laura?
-Well, Jeff...
-I said how much?
Eighty-three dollars.
Eighty-three dollars?
Are you crazy?
Why, that's practically our food
budget for two whole months!
Ah!
Putting it all together, if you
liquidate your current home,
cars and other assets,
and purchase a
Regency-level estate--
remember that's a 12,000
square foot equivalent home
on a 1.5 acre equivalent lot--
at a base price of $63,000.
Then the Health and
Fitness package--
that's $4,500, you're
gonna wanna get that.
It's gym, pool, sauna, steam,
hot tub, and a tennis court.
Then the medical
procedures for two adults.
That's $15,000.
But does insurance
cover any of that?
No, but at the Regency level you
qualify of a substantial discount.
And don't forget the
federal tax credit.
-Right, right.
-Right?
So, taking a look at
your current debt,
you retirement and
your other savings,
you are at $152,000 in equity.
People, that is a very
comfortable number.
Comfortable? That doesn't
sound like nearly enough.
-Yeah.
-Well, no.
See, you have to look
at this column, Audrey.
Equivalent value.
You're solidly inside
the Blue Chip zone.
In Leisureland your $152,000
translates to $12.5 million--
to live on, for life.
I mean, come on!
-Oh.
-Well.
Hold on, if this is
such a good thing,
how come
you haven't done it?
I would do it in a heartbeat
but my husband had
a hip replacement
so he's ineligible.
So, what do you think?
Would the Regency level
be your first choice?
Or should should I show you
something a little more deluxe?
Honey, why don't you
just go ahead and pick.
I just want you to be happy.
That's a good husband.
Take a look at this.
Hey, how much for
the hotdog cooker?
Four dollars.
I'll give you a dollar.
Sold.
Keep up with the exercises.
Don't get lazy. Look.
I laminated it for you,
so you literally have
no excuse not to do it.
Okay, thanks, Paul.
Thanks a lot.
You bet.
Maybe someday me and
my wife will get small
and we'll come down
and see ya.
Well, I'd love that.
But in the meantime...
-Okay?
-All right.
-Just 15 minutes every night.
-Okay.
-It'll change your life.
-Thanks, Paul.
See ya, Dave.
We're here to wish Paul Safranek
farewell as he moves
on to Leisureland.
And we wish him
nothing but the best.
Good luck to you and Audrey.
Thanks, Bob.
Thanks, Bob.
And you guys didn't
consider Treasure Island
out in Palm Desert?
Well, we checked it out, but
I mean, I liked it all right.
But Audrey thought they were
a little stingy with the amenities.
I mean, especially given
what they're charging
in monthly maintenance.
And I just turned to Paul
and said, "Okay, you win."
Let's go for it.
We're just gonna
miss you so much.
Oh, Gina, I'm gonna
miss you too.
Well, look, it's not
like we're dying, okay?
We're just relocating.
And we'll be back at least
once a year. Maybe more.
-Hi, Dad.
-Sweetheart.
Yeah, well, sorry your mom
couldn't bring herself to come.
But she sends her love
and we're expecting you at
the house tomorrow afternoon.
-Glad you could make it, Larry.
-Hey, Paul.
What can I get you, Dad?
Um...
Look, why don't I--
here, you guys visit. Um...?
-Beer.
-Yeah.
-Just any beer.
-That's great, okay, comin' up.
I wish Mom weren't
taking it so hard.
Well, you know your mother.
Frankly, I was a little skeptical
about it myself at first.
Say, you remember Jerry Gross?
Well, I called him
the other day.
He and Bev retired down there.
Did the whole shrinking thing
that you kids are doing.
He says they're getting along
just fine, never better.
He says he feels
younger every day
and that a dollar buys a
thousand dollars worth of stuff.
Of course they need that with
all the medication Bev takes.
But, uh... yeah.
You know, I... I see the appeal.
Apparently there's zero crime,
I keep telling your mother.
It's very safe.
Yeah, we worry.
When I was younger and,
and uh, and then I-I lost the...
Hey...
You guys are the ones
getting small, right?
Uh, that's right, my wife and I.
Good for you.
No offense, but um...
do you think
if you're that small
you should still have all the
same rights as the rest of us
normal-sized people?
I mean, like the right to vote?
Why wouldn't we?
Oh, well, jeez, let's see, um...
You don't buy
as many products,
you're not paying
as much sales tax,
some of you aren't even
paying any income tax.
I mean, you're not really
participating in our
economy, are you?
-Hey.
-I mean, in fact you're costin' us
-Hey. Hey!
-money and jobs.
That's enough.
We're just having
a good time here.
Hey, I'm just askin' a simple
academic question, all right?
-You know what, I think you guys
-Hey, Tim, Tim...
should have a quarter
of a vote at most.
-I mean, that's pretty generous.
-Tim.
Take a seat, Tim.
-Whoa, whoa, whoa!
-Why don't you take a walk.
Cool your jets, big guy!
You know what, maybe an
eighth of a vote, if that.
And you could use a
little small, buddy.
Yeah, sit down.
Hey!
Hey!
Can I get a normal-sized beer
for a normal-sized guy?
I keep thinking
I forgot something.
Moving to town, are you?
How's that?
I see you're moving
to Leisureland.
You look like a
nice young couple.
Thanks.
Where you from?
Uh, Omaha.
Spokane.
Nervous?
Yeah, you know, uh,
a little.
Don't be.
It's the best thing
you'll ever do.
With your permission,
I'm going to record your answers
to the following questions.
May I begin the recording?
-Sure.
-Yeah.
Please state your
full legal names.
Audrey Lustig Safranek.
Paul Norris Safranek.
And do you,
Audrey Lustig Safranek,
and you,
Paul Norris Safranek,
understand that,
of your own free will,
you will undergo the
permanent and irreversible
medical procedure
commonly knows as
"downsizing?"
And that following
the procedure,
your bodies will
be approximately
.0364% of their current
mass and volume?
Yeah.
I'm-I'm sorry Paul,
I need a yes or no.
Yes.
Yes.
Great, thank you.
And do you give full consent
to Gateway Medical Services
to administer
the medical procedure commonly
known as downsizing?
Yes.
Yes.
And do you understand
that there exists
an approximately one
in 225,000 chance
that the procedure could result
in injury, permanent
disability or death?
-Yes.
-Yes.
Yes.
Safranek? Paul Safranek?
Yes.
It's actually Safranek.
Safranek.
Come with me, sir.
We're together.
Oh.
Someone will escort you to the
women's facility shortly.
You will be separated of
approximately five hours.
Following the procedure, you'll
be reunited in the recovery room.
Okay.
-So this is it, then.
-Yeah.
-I'll see you tonight.
-Yeah.
I'll see you on the other side.
I love you.
And I love you, too.
Okay, let's get you up here.
All clear!
Oi, we got some real
fat one this time.
Hey, how's everybody
doin' today?
Hey, Miss Joyce, doin' good.
How you doin'?
Me, I'm great. Just getting
ready for the weekend.
I see you've decided to join us.
Is this...?
Is it over?
Welcome to Leisureland.
Can you tell me your name?
-It's Paul Safranek.
-Okay, good.
I bet you're hungry.
Oh, my God.
Isn't that cute?
People just love that.
I'll bring you a little
snack in a moment.
Thanks. Um,
I think my wife was supposed
to be here with me.
What's her name?
Audrey Safranek
Let me see.
We do have an Audrey Safranek
scheduled for today
but I don't show her
transferred over yet.
She's probably just held up
in dental. I'll go check.
Thank you.
Mr. Safranek,
you've got a call.
Oh, thank you.
Hello?
Paul?
Oh, Audrey, thank God.
Where are you, honey?
Don't be mad at me.
Please don't be mad.
It's hard enough as it is.
What's hard?
Wait, what are you talkin' about?
Oh, Paul!
They shaved my head.
And then they started shaving
my eyebrows and I just thought,
"What am I doing?"
I can't leave my family.
I can't leave my friends.
-And I'm sorry, Paul, I just can't.
-Where are you?
Are you at the airport?
Don't hate me.
Please don't hate me.
Okay, okay. Take it easy. Just
get in a taxi and come back
and we'll talk about this, okay?
We'll go back to Omaha and we'll
think this through together.
Wait.
You're not leaving me here.
Can't you understand how I feel?
I feel terrible.
I let you down, I feel awful.
But then-
then I realized
I was just doing this
because I w-I was trying
to make you happy and
I should've been thinking
more about myself.
Thinking about yourself?
Thinking about yourself?!
You know, you haven't
even asked me how I am!
Don't yell.
Don't yell at me
or I'll hang up.
Do you have any idea what
I have been through today?
Audrey, if you don't come
back here right now...
And see you all small?
I'm upset enough already.
You're upset?
You're upset?
I'm the one who's
five fucking inches tall!
Well, we're sure sorry to hear
Mrs. Safranek couldn't
make it today.
Safranek.
Safranek.
Well, it's not a half-bad
idea to scout things out
get everything ready for her.
The net blocks a lot of UV rays,
but you still might
wanna put your hat on.
And anytime you
wanna to somewhere,
you just hop in
one of these bad boys.
And if they're in
short supply, well,
you can always share.
It's fun to share. I know, I've
met some super people that way.
Just super.
Yeah, isn't that somethin'?
Over to your right there,
that big, white oval building is
one of our seven Sports Centers.
That's the one that houses
the largest indoor skiing
facility in the world--
you know, relatively speaking.
And over there is Lake Chester...
Look familiar?
The Barrington.
My sister's got one.
She loves it.
Well, sir, here is the uh,
key to your kingdom.
Welcome to the good life.
Oh, they uh, stocked the
kitchen with standard items...
but one thing I should warn
you about is the dairy--
it takes a while
for your stomach
to adjust to the milk
and the cheese,
so go easy on it. Somethin'
about the bacteria.
And be careful about
the hot water.
It's on one central system and
they got that cranked really high.
Surprised they haven't
had a lawsuit yet.
Oh, but you didn't
hear that from me.
Thanks Matt.
You're a nice guy.
And Paul?
Thanks for helping the planet.
Aaah!
Fuck!
Safranek?
That's me.
Okay!
And now from the United States,
where for many years, both the
Department of Homeland Security
and the Immigration and
Naturalization Service
have been warning about
the ease with which
downsized people--
from illegal immigrants
to potential terrorists--
could penetrate U.S. borders.
Last week's discovery
in Eugene, Oregon
provided new evidence
to support that claim.
Brian Fakler brings us up to date.
This Target is just one of
thousands of big-box
stores around the country
that import almost a million
tons of goods weekly,
most of it from Asia.
Last week, workers here in Eugene
opened a suspicious TV box
and discovered 17 downsized
stowaways from Vietnam,
14 of them already dead,
two more dying hours later
at a local hospital.
On Friday, the lone survivor,
a woman named Ngoc Lan Tran,
was transferred to a hospital at
Leisureland Estates in New Mexico,
widely considered the country's
top medical center for the small.
Doctors were forced to amputate
a portion of an infected leg,
and today her condition
is described as fair but stable.
According to a statement from the
Department of Homeland Security,
Ms. Tran claims to
have been jailed
for her political and
environmental activism,
and was miniaturized
against her will
in a Vietnamese prison facility.
If true, this would bolster
claims by human rights groups
that repressive governments
around the world...
So, do we need to review any of
the terms of the settlement?
No.
It's all pretty clear.
I really wish you'd
taken her first offer.
I know.
All right, well.
Just step back a little.
Don't want you to get hurt.
Um.
As large as you can, please.
Nice weather down here.
Turned real cold back in Omaha.
Uh-huh.
Wind chill.
Hey, Paul.
Thanks, man, you were right.
Raising my monitor
really did the trick.
My neck feels better, there's
no more tingling in my arm.
I would've never
made the connection.
That's great, I'm really
glad I could help.
Thank you for
calling Land's End.
My name is Paul,
how can I help you today?
Ciao, bello.
Hi, Carol.
Hey, pal.
Why the long face? Huh?
Look around you, buddy.
Life is good.
I made a mistake, Dave.
Biggest mistake of my life.
Should've stayed where I was.
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Look, I know divorce can put a
dent in anyone's self-esteem.
And what Audrey did to you
was beyond the pale.
I mean, I hate her.
I-I barely know her.
You may not hate her,
but I hate her guts.
You, you just gotta get back
in the saddle, that's all.
Ah, maybe someday.
If you want my advice,
single moms is the way to go.
Yeah, they got the whole kid
thing out of their system,
and they just wanna party
No, that's okay, I'm--
And if you don't want an
emotional connection, which
understandable, you just uh
well, we have all sorts of ways you
can have a good time down here.
No strings attached.
-Just put it on the old credit card.
-No, I'm good.
-Really.
-Okay, yeah.
In fact, I started
seeing someone.
Oh, yeah?
Single mom, actually.
Mm-hmm, now we're talkin'.
Good for you.
Paul, this is so good.
Thanks.
The recipe called
for chervil, but
you can't get chervil here yet.
-So, I used dill.
-Hm.
Well, whatever it is,
it's super-yummy.
It's the little things, you know?
I mean, except for there being
no birds or insects,
you'd think you're
in the normal world
and then somethin' happens
and you realize we're not.
I mean, not that substituting
dill for chervil
is that big a thing, but
you know what I mean.
Like last month,
my parents came down
to visit Jonah and me--
Mm-hmm.
and it's like this whole production
with the carrying boxes, and of
course Jonah gets freaked out
by Grandma and Grandpa
being so huge and scary.
Mm.
One night they took us out
for dinner at Fleming's,
-you know, real nice,
-Mm-hmm.
and Jonah and are
sitting on the table
in those special seats.
And the big people wouldn't
stop staring at us.
Plus, the restaurant brags about
how small people are welcome,
and then they charge
a huge minimum.
They should charge
big people extra.
They're the ones
dragging down the world.
I know.
Big people look at us
like we're freaks.
They're the freaks.
Oh, did you hear about all that
gas being released in Antarctica?
From the ice? The methane?
Oh, I haven't really been following
the news that much lately.
Apparently it's a big deal.
Scientists are saying
the more the ice melts,
the more methane comes out
making more ice melt.
Apparently we're already
way beyond the tipping--
It's my upstairs neighbor.
Well, it's the strangest thing,
I-there wasn't a peep for months
I don't even think he was here--
and then suddenly, it's
party, party, party.
I had to call security
the other night.
Dusan!
Hey, Dusan!
Dusan!
Yes?
You mind turning
down the music?
I'm trying to have a
quiet evening down here.
Hello, my friend.
Hello, Dusan.
May I come in?
Certainly.
So, listen, Pete,
Paul.
-Paul.
-Paul.
And Kristen.
-Ah, hello, Kristen.
-Hi.
I'm sorry I'm disturbing
your nice little dinner.
Listen...
as I was saying, Paul,
I'm having one more, you know,
little party at
my place tonight.
Not big like last time.
Very small.
Just a few close friends.
No!
Is that a rose?
-Yeah.
-A real rose?
Where'd you get a real rose?
It's a new store, uh,
Full-Sized Flower Mart.
How much they're
charging for this?
Dusan!
Dusan!
Quoi, ma Cherie?
What are you doing down there?
Oui, ma Cherie. J'arrive.
Anyway,
as I was saying,
Paul, if tonight
noise disturbs you,
just come upstairs talk to me.
Don't make big show
like last time,
yelling like crazy man.
We're neighbors.
Neighbors are friends.
What's better even,
come to the party.
Thanks, but like I said, we
just want to have
a quiet dinner.
Just try to keep it down, okay?
Yes, darling, of course.
Shh, shh.
Shh.
Oh.
Thanks for a really nice time.
Plus the cooking and all.
Sorry I have to leave so early,
but you know, the sitter...
Yeah, yeah. No...
I was...
Up one floor.
What?
Yeah, one more.
-Gracias
-Oh, gracias, tio.
Anyway, uh,
I was hoping uh, Sunday
we could bring Jonah.
I... I'd love to meet him.
Yeah...maybe.
-Something wrong?
-No.
You're a wonderful guy, Paul.
And I really enjoy
hanging out with you.
Uh-huh.
But, if I'm honest
about how I'm feeling,
I just-it might be uh--
it might be too soon for me.
It's fine, I get it.
-No, no...
-I get it. No, it's fine.
I just mean if we're
bringing Jonah into it...
Have a nice night.
No, I...
Paul!
A rose!
Paul!
You come.
And you bring the rose.
-It's a peace offering.
-Oh.
Look, everyone.
This is Paul, my neighbor.
And look at what he brings me.
A real fucking rose!
You think any of these other
ungrateful sons of bitches
think to bring
something to Dusan?
No. You're the only one.
I like you.
But, I know I said
it's only little party,
but I make two, three phone
calls to very close friends,
look what happens.
Everybody comes.
There's nothing else to do in this
fucking city after 10 o'clock.
Now, this I do not understand.
It's not as if so many people
have work in the morning.
You know, this is worst trait
about small people--
they're lazy.
Not all, not all. But lazy.
Like...this lazy son of a bitch.
Konrad!
What's that you're
saying about me?
What lies are you telling?
Just that in small world
no one wants to work.
What did you expect?
It's the wonderful thing
about becoming small.
Because you're immediately rich.
Unless you're very poor.
Then you're just small.
Konrad's a sea captain.
Oh?
Never more than ten meters
away from his boat.
Oh.
I do like my boat.
There she is.
Sonja, my beauty.
You see, I'm from
many generations.
All the way back to my
grandfathers, my father--
all sea captains.
So, what brings you
to Leisureland?
Dusan.
He even convinced
me to become small,
mostly for the women
and the parties.
And, frankly, my wife
had all the money,
and after she left,
things became a bit tricky.
Oh, I can relate.
It's quite wonderful
to be small, don't you think?
I'd say it has its
pluses and minuses.
Next week I'll be
in the Seychelles,
and two weeks after that, I'll be
sailing with friends for a
month on Lake Titicaca.
Can you believe I've never
been to Lake Titicaca?
Well, how does the boat
get from place to place?
I mean, you can't sail it.
FedEx, my dear boy.
Sonja travels faster than I do.
How'd you get a tiny
harpsichord down here?
Well, I didn't--I had
to have it raised.
Well, how?
Excuse me, who is that?
-Who's that?
-Yeah.
That's little Ronni.
That's little Ronni?
-The first small baby ever born.
-Yeah.
-Back in Norway?
-Shit.
-That's little Ronni.
-Yeah.
You should go talk to him.
Sorry, uh...
Sorry, excuse me, um,
is it-is it true you're little Ronni?
Well, maybe not
so little anymore.
But yeah, it's me.
Wow, that's...!
Do you thi-hey-would it be
cool to get a selfie?
-Yeah, man, get in here.
-Awesome.
Thank you so much,
I really appreciate it.
Thank you.
-Get in here.
-Wow.
Thank you, so are you.
What is that?
No, I need to know.
I-I have allergies.
Wait! Wait.
Okay.
De Granada a Casablanca
Enterr mi fantasa
Una guitarra, y un gitano canta
Canta mi Andaluca
I'm gonna take off my shoes.
Having fun?
Enough with the
fucking doorbell.
Good morning, Mr. Dusan.
We come clean for you.
So you had fun last night, yeah?
You didn't know were so lucky
to have exciting
neighbor such as me.
Well, I've never been
to a party like that.
I've nev-there were
so many Europeans.
Did you know little Ronni
was here? I mean...
-he is historic.
-And boring, you know.
Good-looking dumb
Norwegian guy
goes around the world
having sex with everyone--
women, men, hermaphrodites,
dogs, goats, monkeys.
He'll be the first small
baby to die of syphilis,
but... historic.
Well, apparently he still lives
in the original colony, you know,
over in Norway. I've always
wanted to see that.
It's all right.
You've been there?
Yeah, I go once or twice a year.
Konrad too. We make
business there.
Very good business.
Must be somethin' to see. I--
You know, you can't even
get pictures of it online?
Yes, my friend.
The world is filled
with things to see.
You know, I don't know you, Paul
but I like you,
I like you very much.
And my advice is
get out of this disgusting
little fucking apartment
and open your eyes.
Don't be so American.
You're nice guy, Paul,
but little bit pathetic guy.
Last night you dance,
you laugh
but inside you cry.
Who are you to talk
to me that way?
I'm Dusan Mirkovic,
your neighbor.
Neighbors are friends.
Friends tell friends the truth.
Okay, maybe sometimes
I'm a little bit asshole,
but the world needs assholes.
Otherwise where
would shit go out.
Dusan...
-Bye.
-Thank you.
When I think of big
people becoming small
-Mm-mm.
-all the new small cities
in the world, I see opportunity.
I ask myself, Dusan,
why the people they
want to become small?
To help the environment?
Please.
The become small
to have the things
which until now were
only for the rich,
which, by the way, is the
genius of the concept.
So I say to my brother Srdjan--
I work with my brother.
He's still big.
My wife, too, by the way.
I say,
why not bring very special items,
luxury items, to the
small consumer?
The-The things that nobody
else is thinking to bring?
Such as?
Well, Cohiba Esplendido.
Cuba. Best cigar in the world.
How much you pay for this
when you big?
Forty-five, fifty dollars.
When you small,
I sell you this cigar
for one dollar.
And from this one Cohiba,
we make about 2,000 cigars.
Okay, maybe they're not
actually made in Cuba.
Maybe they're rolled by
little Albanians in Bujanovac
but who cares?
And this is just one thing.
There's perfume, cologne,
brandy, port, Calvados,
truffles, caviar, pfft.
Is all that legal?
Baby, this is Wild West.
Who has time
chasing after some
fucking Serbian guy
five inches tall
over a few cigars
and some wine.
My brother and I are
now in seven small cities
around the world.
Seven.
And Paul, listen, anything
you want, I can get for you.
Anything, anytime.
Excuse me a minute.
Hello?
Uh, can I talk to you
for a minute?
Na-pro-shien. What this do?
Uh, Naproxen.
I-It's a anti-inflammatory.
It's for pain and swelling.
And this one, what this one do?
Uh, well, Vicodin. That's
also a pain killer,
but...you wanna be really
careful with that one.
Pain killer? Pain killer good.
Listen, I-- this is not
my apartment and, uh,
you know, I'm sure you're
probably in a lot of pain, but
y-you shouldn't steal pills.
I no steal.
They too old, no good.
Mr. Dusan, he say me okay
I take away things.
Pill for sick friend.
Okay, I finish now.
Bathroom clean.
Well, whatever's wrong
with your friend,
I can see that you have a really,
really bad prosthetic foot
and I'm sure it's causing you
pain in your right hip and knee,
probably your other knee,
your lower-back.
How you know this thing?
You doctor?
Occupational therapist.
Wait a minute.
I-I know you.
You're the--oh, my God.
You're that woman from
a couple of years ago,
the dissident.
From Thailand or something?
What's your name?
Tran Ngoc Lan. Vietnam.
Tran Ngoc Lan from Vietnam.
Yes! that's right.
that's--and I
remember that you-you
lost your leg below the knee.
that's-that-
that's you!
Wow!
Uh, Dusan!
Hey! Do you know
who this is here?
Of course, the famous
Ngoc Lan Tran.
Dramatic escape from
Vietnamese prison,
almost died, so now,
she can clean my house.
America, big land of opportunity.
Push up, push again.
Push, push, push.
Okay, that's--now take your
heel back towards you.
Even harder if you can.
Even--yeah.
Yeah.
You-you put your hand
right here, now--
Feel that. Okay. See
that crunching?
You hear it?
Yeah, that's arthritis.
That's already...pretty bad.
Paul,
you're full of surprises.
You can do this but you work
shit job answering phones?
Well, when I moved down here,
I didn't think I'd be working
so I let my license expire and...
now, I'd have to get it
in a whole 'nother state.
It's a whole...it's a boring story.
I hate to say it, but...
if you don't do
something pretty soon,
you're gonna need a new knee.
Maybe even a new hip.
You gotta go to a specialist
as soon as you can
a-and get a whole new foot.
In the meantime,
I could make some adjustments
on the existing prosthetic.
And maybe give you some
pointers on how to walk better.
I just hate to see you
needlessly suffer
after all you've been through.
Okay. I finish work
you come with me.
Yeah, no, I can get my tools,
I can do it right here.
No. I say you before my
friend sick, need pill.
You come with me my house.
Help her.
You help her.
I...I don't think I was clear.
I can help you with this
but I'm not a doctor, so
your friend, whatever's
wrong with her,
she's gotta go to a
clinic or a hospital...
No! Clinic no good.
I bring her clinic
wait too long time.
Stupid doctor say no help
for her, no do nothing.
He no good stupid doctor in
big world, now he small.
You come with me.
You come with me now.
Uh.
Come.
You live near here?
No, still far.
Maybe we should grab a car.
No need car. Take bus.
If-If you don't mind my asking,
you were so famous a
couple of years ago,
I mean, everybody was
talking about you.
I just would've thought
you'd have been
giving speeches
or writing books.
How'd-How'd you wind up
cleaning houses?
Need money for live.
After TV box, I stay hospital
so long time, almost die.
Then three host family,
but too much problems.
Leisureland people
too selfish.
Better I live only me,
work job make money, easy.
Hey, you!
Come, come!
Buenas noches.
Yo!
Come on.
No time for baby dreams.
Can I ask how high we're going?
-Seven floor.
-Seven?
Well, can we use the elevator?
No elevator.
Hola Benita, Como esta?
Hola.
Take the shoe.
Hola Gladys!
This lady Gladys.
Gladys my friend.
She very sick.
Gladys, how you feel?
Cmo est?
Cmo est?
I bring food for you.
I bring doctor. This man doctor.
Hombre mdico.
Mdico.
This lady Gladys alone,
no have nobody.
Husband die Mexico
when they make small.
Stupid people forget take
the gold from the teeth,
head explode.
What?
Husband head explode.
Head explode. From teeth.
She come alone, no money.
I meet her she housekeeper
first host family,
rich Leisureland people.
Now she sick, no more work.
Okay you take care for her.
I can't do anything for her.
That woman is really sick.
Looks like she might die.
Oh yeah she die soon.
Cancer. Cancer
all over stomach.
I be with her she die.
Most bad thing die alone.
Come on, be like doctor.
Make her feel good.
Hola Seora.
Where does it hurt?
Everything hurts.
I do not have much
time left in my life.
Which pill most good for her?
I have no idea.
But you know thing.
Which pill most strong?
Percocet.
Yes, Percocet.
Very good for pain.
How much--two, four, five?
How much?
Try two.
Two? This lady very sick.
Pill old.
We give four.
These are for the pain.
Gracias, doctor.
Have you tried to move her
every couple of hours
so she doesn't get bedsores?
We should probably do that.
Come, there you--okay.
See? You know thing.
Thank you Mr. Dusan friend.
You help Gladys good.
Okay. Well.
Let's make those adjustments.
If you just wanna
slip off your foot.
No, no foot. I tired.
You go away.
I stay with Gladys.
You go away now.
Really? I mean--
I tired. You go away.
Okay.
Some other time, I guess.
I just-I just don't know when
I'm gonna see you again.
Thursday. You come
Thursday, okay?
Thursday morning
you come fix leg.
Ten o'clock.
Thursday at ten o'clock.
My name's Paul, by the way.
Paul Safranek.
Let's see...
The Extra Large is
available in glacier,
pebble, tulip, cayenne,
moss and aubergine.
Cayenne, is-is that like red?
It's-It's a brownish red.
It's more like brick.
No, I don't like brick.
Do you think moss is pretty?
You know, I-I don't know, lady.
Why don't you just
pick a color please?
Don't be short with me.
What did you say?
Shoe.
Where's Gladys?
Oh, she die.
No. oh...
I'm so sorry.
I think maybe I give
her too much pill.
Anyway, she die
very happy smiling.
Okay, you fix foot now.
You do quick.
Must clean house soon.
One hour.
You do quick.
Quick!
Oh, thank you, very nice.
You finish soon okay?
I very busy.
I'm gettin' there.
I guess you like butterflies.
Butterflies.
Yes I like very much.
When I little girl
my father he take me
my sister go see butterfly.
Near my village
they live in a tree.
You know,
they fly cold place to
hot place every year.
Stay tree then
go away come back.
The uh, migrating butterflies.
-Yes.
-Yeah, sounds beautiful.
How do you say butterfly
in Vietnamese?
Con bu''m.
Kon booyem?
Con bu''m.
Kon booyem.
You miss your village?
No more village.
Government make the
people go away put water
all over, all over everywhere.
Too much water.
Too much water?
Big water for make electricity.
Oh, a dam.
-Yes, dam. They make dam.
-Dam. Uh-huh.
Many village no more.
That's why I go prison.
Me my sister make protest.
-Big protest.
-Uh-huh.
Well, where's your sister now?
She die prison.
Too cold. Chest fill up bad.
She die.
-What happen?
-Nothin'.
No, just, no...
give me a minute, just--
-What you do?
-No, nothing, nothing, I just--
You stupid man!
You needed a new foot anyway.
We'll get you a good one.
Is that so hard to understand?
Jesus!
Don't say Jesus bad way!
What, now I'm supposed
to watch my language?
You're worse than my mother.
I feel sorry for your mother.
I sure she suffer too
much for your fault.
Not do so fast!
Vacuum cleaner need time
same direction clean good.
Yeah, and you can take these,
these are samosas from
a couple of days ago.
Thank you, yes.
I take all these.
Oh, I think this is saag paneer--
might be a little bit old.
Oh, in prison
we die for such food.
Okay, not too many leftover
entrees today
but I threw in lots of
baked potato soup.
Thank you, Roger.
There you go.
Hey, finally got yourself
a helper, huh, Ngoc Lan?
This Paul. He break my foot.
How'd you manage that, buddy?
It's a long story,
we're sorting it out.
He stupid!
Hola, Seor Crdenas.
Hambre?
Ay, s, chinita. Gracias.
God will repay you.
How's your lung?
How's your lung?
I feel a little better today.
Gracias.
Bueno.
Okay, over here, this way.
Mucho dolor, verdad?
Yes, it hurts a lot.
Oh, it looks really painful.
I give him baths and scrub him
and put herbs,
but nothing helps.
I bet that's ringworm
which I don't know
how to say in Spanish.
But ringworm is a fungus, so
you want it dry.
Seco. Seco. No bao.
No bao. No agua. No agua.
And uh...
see if I can pick something
up at the drugstore
and bring it for him tomorrow.
Yes, you bring.
Maana medicina.
Maana medicina.
-Maana medicina.
-Gracias, doctor.
Okay, next. Let's go.
-Gracias, doctor.
-Gracias.
-Let's go!
-I'm comin'.
Take care for him.
-See you next time.
-Gracias.
So that's it?
We go home now?
Now we go church pray Jesus.
You come back tomorrow
pick me up eight o'clock.
Yeah, okay, I'll be here.
Good morning, Mr. Dusan.
We come clean for you.
Answering telephones was not
dignified enough for you.
Now you progress
to cleaning toilets.
I love you, Paul.
I really love you.
You're such a funny guy.
Hilarious.
Like I said,
you're too much nice guy
and a little bit...pathetic guy.
It's just until
she gets a new foot.
-When will that be.
-I don't know.
The doctor said a month,
maybe six weeks.
-Ah, that's an eternity.
-I know.
Meantime she's stuck
with a peg leg,
which is almost as bad
as having nothing at all.
I mean, look at her,
she's waddling around
like a goddamned pirate!
Paul! You no talk
with Mr. Dusan!
You go upstairs with Veronica!
-Paul!
-I heard you.
Don't worry, Paul.
Dusan will save you.
Wow.
Yeah, Miss Tran,
take everything.
Mr. Konrad and I are
leaving day after tomorrow
and don't know when
we'll be back.
Okay good. Thank you.
Paul, Mr. Dusan say
I take all the food.
You go find me big box.
In a minute.
First there's something
very important to discuss.
Me?
This is the situation.
I don't know exactly what,
but something big-- very big-
is happening at the
original small colony.
You know, the one in Norway.
They want me to
go there right away
with a very important delivery.
It's too complicated to explain.
Top secret and... very urgent.
Most important they are
offering us very big money.
Very big.
That means we need extra help
to do this quickly,
make them happy.
And I'm sorry to say, we need
the same excellent helper
who is currently helping you.
Him.
That's right, Ngoc Lan,
I have to go with
these guys to Norway.
So... you say...
Paul go with you Norway?
That's the situation.
Emergency situation.
And deeply humanitarian.
I mean, Ngoc Lan, I will
be able to help when I get
back one-hundred-percent
when the new foot, and--
You leave Wednesday?
Yes.
And how long you go?
Ten days. Maybe more.
Okay, yes, Norway.
I go Norway too.
No, no, no, not you.
Only Paul.
I go Norway too.
Paul, you help me
on the trip.
But you're very busy here
with humanitarian
activities on your own.
And your cleaning business.
Veronica and other ladies
know every place.
They do for me,
I pay them good.
No problem I go.
Norway colony people
invite me so many time
but I never go.
Feel so, so guilty.
They so nice people.
What?
Who invited you?
When I hospital so long time
after TV box,
people all over world
send me happy card,
flower, candy,
make me feel good.
So many letter.
One letter very special
I never forget.
From Jorgen Asbjornsen.
You got a letter from
Jorgen Asbjornsen?
Dr. Asbjornsen write me
say he feel so, so bad
I suffer for his fault.
He say he painful.
He never think make small
so bad for people.
Dr. Asbjornsen letter
make me feel so good.
I write letter too,
say now first time
I happy be small.
He say me make trip
go Norway any day.
But I too busy.
Always too busy.
Now Jesus give me
special gift, go Norway.
Thank you Mr. Dusan,
thank you Mr. Konrad.
Yes.
I go Norway too.
So happy.
Thank you special time.
Paul, look.
This Jorgen Asbjornsen.
And his wife.
Oh, my God. Jorgen Asbjornsen.
Hello.
This is such an honor.
I know, I know.
See, Paul?
Jesus smile for me.
I say Paul I want visit
Norway only for meet you.
It's true.
-I'm Anne-Helene.
-Hello.
Please, sit. Join us.
Thank you.
We're watching the world go by.
Sounds great.
You have no idea how terribly
grief-stricken we were
by Miss Tran's case.
Jorgen has lost so much
sleep over all the abuses.
It's humbling, huh?
Nature is such
a patient sculptor.
Grinding a tiny bit
each day slowly, slowly
for thousands of years to
make such a supremely
beautiful thing.
What a waste.
What a dreadful waste.
You'll have to excuse Jorgen.
These past few days has
been especially hard.
Such a big decision to make
and so quickly.
Normally when
we visit the Colony,
we like to spend a few
days in Honningsvg.
But then the news came...
and uh, yeah,
well, here we are
suddenly imposing on you.
We scarcely had
the time to pack.
I'm sorry, w-what news?
Why, the methane release.
In Antarctica. You must
know about the methane.
Yeah...
that's not-that's not
new, is it? I mean--
New or old,
it's the end.
It's the end of everything.
The world has already seen
five major extinctions,
and now there will be another.
I...I didn't want to believe it.
None of us did, but
there we were in Helsinki,
big and small.
Climatologists, bacteriologists,
demographers, physicists,
immunologists,
26 Nobel Prize
winners among us.
We built all the models,
did all the math,
and all conclusion
was consistent.
Homo Sapiens will soon
vanish from the Earth.
It is now an
actuarial certainty.
No matter how
the end will come--
environmental disaster,
pandemic disease,
unbreathable air,
impotable water,
not enough food,
nuclear winter, some
combination of them all.
Relatively soon the Earth will
indeed purge itself of human life,
and God knows how
many other species.
Do you really mean extinction?
What about downsizing?
Yeah, yeah, too little too late.
Only three percent of the
world has miniaturized.
There simply isn't enough time.
Not a very successful
species, these Homo Sapiens,
even with such great
intelligence.
Barely 200,000 years.
Alligator has survived
200 million years
with a brain
the size of a walnut.
People have been predicting
the end of the world
for thousands of years.
And now it's really happening.
I guess somebody
had to be right someday.
So sad.
Very sad.
Okay, I go sleep now.
Good night, Paul.
Good night, Ngoc Lan.
Ay.
You okay?
I fine.
You know, maybe I should
take a look at your leg.
Okay, yes, you look.
Oh, yup.
Wow.
That peg is really
making the skin chafe.
Okay.
You know,
if somebody told me
ten years ago
that one day I'd be
five inches tall,
divorced,
helping a famous Vietnamese
dissident get a new foot
while cruising up
a fjord in Norway
discussing the end of the
world with Jorgen Asbjornsen,
I would've said he was crazy.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I-I thought--
Jesus, I'm such an idiot.
No.
Please.
I want.
Morning.
Good morning.
What's that sound?
A greeting.
Wow!
That's it, that's
the original colony.
Wait, and there's no net?
No walls?
No, we've been lucky.
We are too close to the
sea for the mosquitoes.
And over the years,
we realized
that the birds, they
preferred the lemmings.
But yes, this is
where we started
many years ago.
Jorgen, good to see you.
Welcome.
No, no.
Jorgen!
Anne-Helene!
Oh, thank God you're here!
Why didn't anyone
tell me?
Oh, I love you so much.
I love you both so much.
Oh, ever since the decision,
I didn't feel right
without you here.
And you know
how I am when I worry.
I can't eat. I can't sleep.
Ask anyone here,
they tell you.
Sorry to interrupt, Jorgen,
but we need your
advice immediately.
Yes. Excuse us, Solveig.
Of course, darling. You've
got important things to do.
Oh! Dusan, Dusan, Dusan!
Bless you for coming so quickly.
Solveig, my darling,
I'm always happy to help
in difficult times, in easy
times, in happy times.
Is always a pleasure to come and
visit you and your lovely village.
Oh, it is lovely, isn't it?
I can't bear to think
I won't see it again.
You know, I'm the one
who made this colony
possible in the first place.
I've been coming since
I was just a baby.
I remember one time--
Wait. I know you.
You were in my dream last night.
You were a horse or a pony--
something very strong.
And I mounted you and rode you
through a dangerous forest.
-Okay.
-And here you are.
Right before we leave.
Another miracle.
You are coming with us,
aren't you?
Where are you going?
In there.
Would you like to see?
Where this go?
To the vault.
-The vault?
-Oh, yes.
We've been working on it almost
since the very beginning.
When Jorgen made
his big discovery,
I said, look, Jorgen,
you're a genius,
and downsizing is a genius idea.
No one is questioning that.
But what if people
don't accept it?
What if it doesn't
come out on time?
Anyway, this is what
they came up with.
On my suggestion.
Torvald, be a sweetheart and
give our friends a little tour.
Well, sure.
The tunnel leads to a vault
1.6 kilometers inside
the Earth's lithosphere
and is encased in a double
layer of Inconel 625.
In addition to maintaining a
broad spectrum of biodiversity,
the vault is equipped with
fields for growing foods,
forests for lumber, livestock
for animal husbandry.
The residential
areas are spacious
and easily expandable to provide
for future generations.
Wait, but that's not
all underground?
Oh, yes!
Our new small size
makes it possible.
Otherwise we never could
have dreamed of preserving
so much of the world
in a single safe place.
This is brilliant.
Isn't this brilliant? It's like-
It's like Noah's Ark.
Yes. exactly!
It's Noah's Ark!
So, how-what do you do for
power, is it nuclear?
No, no, 100% geothermal.
And we have interoperable
organic systems
to manage production of
artificial sunlight,
oxygen, CO2 elimination,
water purification, and so on.
And how long will you
stay down there?
Torvald, how long is it?
8,000 years?
Well, something like that.
Just until the surface
environment stabilizes.
It's not unprecedented
what we are doing here.
Less than a hundred
thousand years ago
humans underwent
a near-extinction.
Maybe 2,000 survived.
And from that handful
came all of the billions
of people you see today.
Rebooting the species.
It's nothing new.
Yeah, exactly.
My friends.
Many years ago,
when we discovered
cellular miniaturization,
the world which had
seemed so doomed
felt suddenly so full
of possibilities.
So, until very recently,
I maintained hope
that the contingency plan
we embark upon tomorrow
could remain simply that--
a plan.
But...
history has spoken.
And this is our final dinner in
the place we've called home
for so many years.
Yes, we are sad to leave,
and terribly sad
for the reasons why.
But man is too beautiful,
too improbable a life form
to be allowed to disappear
forever from the cosmos.
Now then,
I would like to ask the
surviving members of the
original colony to stand.
Ah, look at him.
Little Ronni.
How he has grown.
I ask you again
as I asked you
so many years ago.
Generations to come,
perhaps all of humanity
will thank you
for your bravery
and commitment.
But you must ask yourself
whether you are truly ready
to enter a new world.
For there will be
no turning back.
Are you ready?
I am ready!
I am ready!
-I am ready!
-Yes!
I am ready!
Is everyone ready?
We are ready!
We are ready!
We are ready!
We are ready!
We are ready!
We are ready!
We are ready!
We are ready!
We are ready!
We are ready!
We are ready!
Paul!
Yeah.
Can you come down here?
Where you go?
I look many place for you.
I was just here.
I talk with Mr. Dusan,
he say fat lady pay,
he ready go back.
I happy for that.
Too long time away from Seor
Cardenas and Mrs. Lopez.
Oh, I worry too much for them.
Ngoc Lan, you can't just be
worried for a few little people
thousands of miles away.
You have to look at
the big picture.
Why you say like this?
Because...Mr. Cardenas
and Mrs. Lopez,
they don't stand a chance,
None of us do.
It's over.
You want go with them.
And I want you to come with me.
You crazy man!
Always I know you stupid.
Now I see you crazy too.
How am I crazy?
You heard them.
This is the only chance for
the survival of our species--
that's huge!
You want to help people?
These are the people
that you should be helping.
The future of humanity
is down that hole!
Who you help down there?
People here need help,
not down stupid hole!
Mr. Dusan, Mr. Konrad,
talk to crazy Paul.
He want go down hole,
me go with him.
Paul, Paul, Paul...
Why do you want to do
such a silly thing?
Dusan, these people are
actually trying to do something
to save the human race.
I wanna be a part of that.
Okay, fine, you want to help
then do what I did,
give them a semen sample.
I did it too.
A much more
pleasant way to help.
If I'm not supposed to be
a part of this thing,
then w-what am I doing here?
Why didn't I become a doctor?
Why did I downsize?
Why did my wife abandon me?
Dusan, how did you just
happen to be my neighbor?
And-And Ngoc Lan,
why are you
the only person who
survived that box
and you just happen
to be cleaning
Dusan's place on that day?
And-And had you
not lost your leg,
I wouldn't have tried to
help you, which, as usual,
I screwed up.
And why did I screw it up?
So that I could be here
right at the exact moment
to go down into that tunnel.
I finally have a chance to
do something that matters.
Oh, Paul, come on,
now you're talking crazy.
These people,
they're wonderful, but--
It's like a cult.
It's a cult. You know,
and the extinction, well,
it's not gonna happen for, you
know, maybe few hundred years.
Has nothing to do with you.
Forget it.
Besides, you think they won't
behave like people always behave?
They're all gonna go insane
down there and kill each other.
They'll go extinct
long before we do.
Don't worry, darling.
He said it himself.
Nothing he ever wants
to do works out.
It's a beautiful day, huh?
I mean, knowing this is the
last time I'll see the real sun,
it makes it so... vibrant.
I ask you question.
You say me truth. Okay?
Of course.
Other night on boat...
what kind of fuck you give me?
What?
What kind of fuck you give me?
What kind? I don't...
American people,
eight kind of fuck.
Love fuck, hate fuck,
sex-only fuck,
break-up fuck, make-up fuck,
drunk fuck, buddy fuck,
pity fuck.
Okay, I-I have no idea
where you heard that.
Third host family.
Okay, Th-that is just wrong.
Okay, there's a whole spectrum
of-of emotions and-
and motivations.
And don't say "fuck", i-it's vulgar.
Say something else like, you know,
"make love" or I don't know.
So... was love fuck?
Okay, what is this all about?
You look for me,
you want help me,
you make fuck with me,
now you go down stupid hole.
So I try to think
what kind fuck you give me.
I think maybe pity fuck.
For leg.
No, no, Ngoc Lan,
I care about you deeply.
You are such an
extraordinary person
and I just admire you so much.
More than anything,
I want you to come with me.
People always say me I strong.
Okay, maybe Vietnam
I organize many protest,
survive two year prison
punish me make small.
I only person survive TV box.
I walk around no foot.
Take care of other people.
But I woman.
Feeling.
I'm sorry.
I really am.
It's so easy for me
to see who you are.
But if I don't do this,
who am I?
I mean, really. Who am I?
You Paul Safranek.
You good man.
Look, there's butterflies!
Look, Ngoc Lan! Butterflies!
Kon booyem! Kon booyem!
I guess this is it.
Konrad.
Very nice to have met you.
Pleasure was mine.
Good luck in there, Paul.
Take care of yourself.
I will.
You too.
I will miss my funny neighbor.
Your bible.
But it's in Vietnamese.
Words not matter.
Remember me.
You go away now.
Excuse me.
Hi, uh...
Is it just me or are
we walking uphill?
Yes. Prevents flooding.
-Tunde.
-Oh, hi. Paul.
It's just a few hours climb
before we begin
the descent to the vault.
Well, how long
is the whole walk?
Eleven hours.
Something like that.
See you down there.
Stay hydrated.
Wait!
Wait!
Thank you so much.
-Wait, my bag.
-Leave it.
No, no, no!
I told you nothing ever
works out for this guy.
-Get my bag out!
-It's going to blow! Run!
Paul!
Ngoc Lan!
I was thinking about
what you were saying.
And I realized you were right.
I am Paul Safranek.
And what you were asking...
It was a love fuck.
And to think...
one day all of this...
Now maybe you
understand little bit
how I feel
after survive TV box.
When you know
death come soon,
you look around
things more close.
Wait here, I'll be right back.
I want go too. I want
see Rosa new baby.
No, see the baby tomorrow,
it's pouring.
Hurry.
Don't forget we still
need go see Filipine man,
take care for his arm!
I know. Stop obsessing,
will you?
Hola, Seor Cardenas.
-Oh, Hola, Paul.
-Are you hungry?
A lot. What did you
bring me today?
Ah, I think it's chicken.
Yes, chicken.
Thank you, Paul.
Okay, you're welcome.
See you tomorrow.
Now that you're with me
nothing makes me feel small
Now that I'm with you
we can get through it all
There's a moment,
can you feel it?
Catch that moment
When we rise or fall
As the rain falls
as the clouds close above
As the light falters
as the world cries enough
As the tempest
rages around us
As the sky
is churning in chaos
I'll be with you
through it all
Empires tumble
Dynasties collapse
Kettles boil dry
And shoelaces snap
And yet still
If the world seems
it's teetering on the brink
When you're beside me
I see our troubles shrink
What's a little change
in the weather?
Storm or swell
we'll breathe it together
And I'll be with you
through it all
Empires tumble
Dynasties collapse
Kettles boil dry
And shoelaces snap
And yet still
I could stare down tornadoes
and never flinch
It's a breeze when
you're with me every inch
Let the globe
spin off its orbit
Flood or earthquake
We'll absorb it all
Great or small