Downtown Owl (2023) Movie Script

JULIA: I used to think
there's gotta be something else
out there for me.
Something... I don't know.
My mom called it restlessness.
She said
it was an inherited curse.
But she said, someday,
I would find myself running.
When I found
what I was looking for,
she said,
it would bring me to my knees.
I've been on tenterhooks
Endin' in dirty looks
Listenin' to the Muzak
Thinkin' 'bout this and that
She said that's that
I don't wanna chitter chat
Turn it down a little bit
Turn it down fast
Pump it up
When you don't really need it
Pump it up
Until you can feel it
VALENTINE: You will be
popular here, Ms. Rabia.
Very, very popular.
It's a good place to live.
The kids are good...
in their way.
We have a first-rate
Chevrolet dealership.
There's a grocery store
that's pretty decent.
But most people
drive to Jamestown
for their food shopping,
and even as far as Valley City.
There's a hardware store,
but I'm not sure how much
longer that's gonna last.
Probably heard
the movie theater's closing.
I'm afraid that's true.
But Big Harley's Cafe,
that's not going anywhere.
I'm looking for the school.
- You come from 94?
- Yes, I think, yeah.
You're in the right direction.
- Thank you.
VALENTINE: We got two
gas stations and three bars,
although you can hardly count
the Oasis Wheel as a bar,
and I would personally
avoid Uncle Teddy's,
which I believe
is called Yugo's now.
Yeah. It's a downtown, Owl.
So, tell me about
your volleyball experience.
- Volleyball?
- Volleyball.
- I thought...
- It's a Title IX situation.
Can't have three boys' sports
without three girls'.
Unfortunate, but...
So, volleyball?
I don't know...
We'll pay for books
on the subject.
- Of volleyball?
- Season starts second semester.
I'm here for first semester...
I should've mentioned volleyball
to your dad.
We were just hoping
he'd have a spare TA around.
We never imagined that TA
would be his own daughter.
Well, he didn't send...
I wanted to come.
I'm... My husband,
I'm getting out of his hair.
He's working on his doctorate.
He'll be finished by new year,
so, second semester, I won't...
Right, you're married.
He works for your dad?
He's an adjunct
in the department.
Gosh! He made
such an impression on me,
your father,
my one semester at the U.
Oh! Kids? Do you have?
- Not yet.
- But that's the plan?
In the new year, for sure.
Married's better than nothing,
but kids would be better.
There is popular
and then there is too popular.
- Hey! Let's hit the halls.
In addition to volleyball,
I jest,
you'll be teaching
seventh grade geography,
eighth grade history,
US History, World History,
- All-State...
So surprised when
Mr. Schtippel called with this
abrupt sabbatical request.
Hope it's just a sabbatical.
Frankly, he just said, "I gotta
get the French word out."
Everyone thinks the guitarists
are twins
'cause of their beards,
but they aren't.
The drummer, who has no beard,
his name is actually Beard!
I'm Eli Zebra, said like Debra.
I've seen Fast Times. Nobody
here knows who Spicoli is.
I'm Rebecca Grooba,
everyone in Owl knows
I'm a genius, no one cares.
I read Finnegans Wake
in eighth grade.
In five years,
I'm gonna be a registered nurse.
I'm Katie, I'm Mitch's sister.
- Who's...
- I'm Mitch.
I think I'm in love.
I'm Tina. I'm pregnant.
Who are you?
Oh! Coach!
Coach Laidlaw is also the head
of the English Department.
You also have
11th grade English.
Coach Laidlaw,
please meet Coach Julia Rabia.
- Coach?
- Volleyball. Fingers crossed.
Maybe you could fill her in
on the English syllabi,
and show her
the teachers' lounge?
I'm not that welcome there.
We start with 1984.
- What?
- Orwell.
- You know Orwell?
- I know. I just...
Not in the syllabus,
but every grade's reading it.
- You know why?
- 'Cause Big Brother is watching.
'Cause it's 1983.
Which means next year is?
- 1984.
- I get it. 1984.
Also, so the kids learned
that freedom is more important
than playing by the rules.
If they don't learn that,
the commies win.
Vanna! Why the long face, huh?
I wanna solve the puzzle, Vanna!
- Help you?
- You're...
- It's Vanna?
- I'm Mitch.
My last name is Hrlicka,
Coach thinks it's funny
I can't buy another vowel.
- That's rude.
- Football is a big deal here.
I guess that's true everywhere.
I wouldn't know.
I haven't been anywhere else.
NAOMI: Time's up! No eating
disorders on school property!
- What? I wasn't!
- I'm kidding.
High school bathroom's where
a girl learns how to be skinny.
- Where are you from?
- Milwaukee.
You like to drink,
like to get drunk?
What were you doing,
having a cry?
- No.
- Dropping a deuce?
- A what?
- Number two, I invented that.
- No!
- I'm Naomi.
When I was 19,
I was a sex kitten.
When I'm 59,
I'll be 60 pounds overweight.
Now I'm 33, and you're
getting drunk with me.
Was that to me?
Or to some audience? Or?
When I speak,
there's always an audience.
I'm a teacher in the biblical
sense of the word.
Any night after 8:00. Yugo's.
Wear your least comfortable bra.
JULIA: Hey, Dad.
It's nice, it's clean. It's...
There's just one building
at the end of the main drag.
What? Nah, the kids are...
They're great. They're...
Mike's great.
I got off with him.
He said he's making
good progress.
No, I'll... No, I'll be back
for Thanksgiving.
It's too far for Mike
to track out.
Yeah, I'm gonna, um, unpack,
I guess.
No, tell mom
I'll try her tomorrow.
I love you, too. Bye.
So, why do you think
George Orwell wrote 1984?
Mr. Zebra?
It's pronounced "zeh-bra."
And it's because
he was a gay alcoholic.
- I'm not sure that's right.
- Definitely is.
And he also wore sunglasses
inside, which was cool.
He also write
Breakfast at Tiffany's?
- Definitely probably.
- That's Truman Capote.
- Rebecca?
- [SOFTLY] It's called 1984
'cause Orwell was writing
in 1948.
He wanted to show the future
was the dystopian present
and the Thought Police had won.
- Sorry, I didn't get...
- Don't like speaking in public.
- Mr. Sellers?
- Mr. Candy?
- No.
Tina. What about you?
George Orwell wrote 1984
because he hated hypocrites,
and because freedom isn't free.
"If you want to keep a secret,
"you must also hide it
from yourself."
Two plus two equals doobie.
Two plus two equals doobie.
Doobie. A doobie, doobie.
A doobie, doobie do.
JULIA: Hey, Mike,
how's the progress?
No, no, I'm busy, too.
I'm actually meeting a friend,
a fellow teacher for a drink.
Taking in some local color,
you know?
Come on.
Don't be condescending.
Everyone's been
so nice, actually.
Nice and honest, I'd say.
Fine, sure, so far.
No, we're meeting at 8:00.
No, I'm not telling you what
I'm wearing... Pants, Mike.
I'm wearing pants, not a skirt.
Okay. Yep.
Good progress. Talk later.
So Mike feels, and I agree,
it's not responsible
to start trying
until he's at least
tenure track,
and Dad is holding my position,
but not until the new year,
and first he needs
to get his doctorate.
- [YAWNS] A lot of steps.
- So many steps.
My husband just stuck it in me.
I like your bra.
Thank you. It's a little small.
I figured the salary
couldn't hurt if we're trying...
In the new year. Yes.
Can I see your rings?
- Engagement or...
- Both.
Sure. Sure.
This strong is drink.
It's a surely...
What is this called?
Alcohol. No, this looks small.
I'm not that into Mike.
I'm going to pee like a panther.
Andale, get us more drinks.
- Okay. What were you having?
- Anything, but twice as much.
- You still have my rings.
- Single girls drink cheaper.
- You have Rolling Rock?
- We don't serve mineral water.
- What about a gin and tonic?
- What about one?
- Do you serve one?
- Yes. This is a bar.
Two, please.
You're Julia, correct?
And you work
at the high school, correct?
And you live in the new
apartment building, correct?
- Correct. How did you know that?
- We've heard a lot about you.
Speaking of, have you heard
about this new movie E.T.?
It's breaking every
box office record imaginable.
It's playing at Valley City.
So, assuming you haven't seen it
and assuming you're into sci-fi,
maybe we can
check it out tomorrow?
Did you...
No, we didn't even meet!
Did you ask me out
without telling me your name?
No worries, good enough.
Nice to meet you.
I would like to apologize
on behalf of the entire bar
- for the actions of Bull Calf.
- Bull Calf?
We call him Bull Calf,
because he looks like a...
sweet little bull calf.
He doesn't know
how to behave around women.
I'm Kent. Kent Jones.
Julia Rabia.
How are you finding Owl?
When I heard
you were meeting Naomi here,
I was curious to hear
an outsider's perspective
on our thriving metropolis.
- How'd you know I was meeting...
- Woo-Chuck maybe? Or Two Knocks?
There's Buck Buck,
little Stevie Horse 'n' Phone.
And by the napkins,
The Flaw Brothers.
I'm Jeff. I'm the dynamic Flaw.
On me, Dog Lover.
Dog Lover?
He lets his dog
inside the house.
- And you're?
- I'm Kent Jones, remember?
You're the only one
with no nickname.
Huh. I never thought of that.
Did you hear
the movie theater is closing?
I did hear.
It's been a great year
for the industry.
That E.T.that Bull Calf
was talking about?
I read that the alien is a force
for peace, which is a twist.
I read that, too.
- You haven't seen it?
- Not yet.
I could take you to see it,
tomorrow evening?
- Are you kidding me?
- Go back to your stool,
- Brother Killer.
- Brother Killer?
Who'd he say he was, Kent Jones?
No one calls him that.
Okay, good enough.
Have a nice night.
This is my boyfriend, Ted.
Not my actual boyfriend.
I'm married and don't cheat.
He doesn't talk much, thank God.
Ted, get us another round.
- What is that?
- Gin, hold the tonic.
Compliments of Koombah.
Hmm. Meet my Koombah.
What is the population
of this town?
Below 800 and who cares?
Then, yes,
I have now met everyone in Owl.
I got asked out to E.T.twice.
Once in eight seconds,
- once in 38 seconds.
- Jules...
- Julia.
- You're female,
don't wear a ring, you're new.
Here in Owl,
those three attributes
make you Raquel fucking Welch.
Compliments of Disco Ball.
Don't know what your life
was like where you come from,
but you're in high school now.
They're looking at you
through homecoming glasses.
So if you buy a drink
between now and New Year's,
I swear to God
I will punch you in the poon!
I wanna tell you somethin'
Balboa discovered
the Pacific Ocean.
It's on the tip of my tongue
You can never go back home
Angie Dickinson
was born in Kulm.
Shelter me
Give me what I want
Take me as I am and let me be
Shelter me
Shelter me
And the Civil War pop quiz
is multiple-choice!
Can I get a coffee
and, um, toast.
Like four pieces of toast. Uh...
Bread. I'm late. Just bread.
Four slices of bread,
coffee, and water.
First water if there's time.
I... Never mind.
I think teaching
is a very noble vocation.
Did you say vacation?
'Cause there's no vacation.
It's great for these kids
to meet someone not from here.
Young professional,
see there are
other possibilities out there.
They're sure not gonna hear it
from their parents.
Oh. Well... thank you.
Another reason, it's good for
kids to have a new role model.
That other English teacher?
Coach Laidlaw?
- He's a bona fide sex criminal.
- What?
Come on. Yup, yup, here now.
- GRENDEL: I pick the back.
- ELI: Grendel is 6'7",
but his reach is like 7'6",
- whereas Cubby Candy is...
- REBECCA: 5'9".
But Candy's fight record
is 76-0-1.
His only tie was in eighth grade
against a police officer.
Mitch, tell her that Grendel
creams Cubby Candy
in hand-to-hand combat.
- They don't know each other.
- Stop holding out on us!
Just say it! You know!
I heard the baby's due
on Halloween.
REBECCA: It's September.
That'd make her
eight months pregnant.
Does she look it?
ELI: She's wearing
a bulky sweater.
Girls only wear them
when they're bulky inside.
REBECCA: It's not that bulky.
That's enough! Get to class!
What you think? Tina's
knocked up? True or false?
T or F?
What's it in the drinking water
that turns all our best women
into floozies?
MITCH: Ms. Rabia's not a floozy.
Okay, but Tina is?
It's addition by subtraction!
I mean... The Sphynx
has finally spoken!
LAIDLAW: That's what happens
to the backup, Vanna.
ELI: His dick
is in my fucking ears!
LAIDLAW: That's what happens.
- ELI: Yanks, it's fine.
How's the culture shock?
I'm hearing great things.
- What is that, bread?
- Toast.
One thing I remembered
I forgot to relay.
Department heads are responsible
for reviewing all department
grading, tests, essays.
It's a bitch, but helps maintain
a level of academic fidelity.
- Fidelity?
- That's what I said, fidelity.
You'll be grading me
on my grading?
Not grading. Reviewing
and massaging, where necessary.
It's cool
I'm not Big Brother here.
I'm more
your adorable younger uncle.
- Isn't that right, Grooba?
- What?
You think of me as your uncle,
don't you, Grooba?
Listen, I don't believe
in sliding scales.
If someone's tipping the scales
around here,
we trim the fat.
JULIA: But she's 17!
Why doesn't someone
do something? Tell her parents.
Her parents know.
Everyone in town knows.
But it doesn't mean
it isn't natural.
I had sex with everyone twice
in high school
before I met my husband
and became faithful.
Ted, get us drinks.
Yeah, why isn't anyone
buying us drinks tonight?
Maybe they're sick of being
the only one in the bar
you haven't sleep with.
What? I haven't slept
with anyone!
Exactly. And as long as
you don't sleep with anyone,
I guarantee you
100% of everyone here will think
they're the only ones
you haven't slept with,
and they'd be right!
How many abortions have you had?
- What?
- Oh, my God, Julia Rabia.
When are you going
to start living a little?
It's like you're alive,
but you don't even care.
I'm Julia.
It's nice to meet you.
- We've met.
- What?
I said, we've met.
Oh! I don't recall that.
- It was late, you were drunk.
- I don't recall that.
Maybe we haven't met.
I'm not saying that.
I met a lot of people.
- You buy me a drink?
- Vance Druid doesn't pay.
- Druid was quarterback.
- Quarterback?
Compliments of Ted.
Are you meeting anyone tonight?
Gonna play music on the jukebox
and go home.
Cool. What music?
Elvis Costello.
- Just Elvis Costello?
- Yeah.
You only like Elvis Costello?
That's right.
What about the Beatles?
Their songs are boring.
What about Foreigner?
Or Boston? Or Journey?
Thought they were the same band.
- Led Zeppelin, Fleetwood Mac?
- Don't like female singers.
- Zeppelin doesn't have one.
- News to me.
- Eagles?
- Nobody listens to them.
- The Police?
- Never heard of 'em.
- Bruce Springsteen?
- Seems like a dick.
So, just Elvis Costello?
Why not?
He's got plenty of albums.
Here, I'll play you one.
History repeats
The old conceits
The glib replies
The same defeats
Keep your finger
On important issues
With crocodile tears and
I'm sorry, baby.
Were you sleeping?
I forgot, it must be,
like, 3:00 a.m. there.
I know it's the same time zone.
Because of daylight savings...
No, of course I'm not drunk.
I just... I had a bad dream.
You know who sounds drunk?
You sound drunk.
No. I'm kidding, sorry.
How was progress today?
Did you make good progress?
I, um... I was thinking,
maybe you could come here
for Thanksgiving,
so I could show you around,
show you my world here.
It's so dumb.
Yes, I know it's a long drive,
I drove it.
You know, it's 3:00 a.m.,
I can't talk about this.
All right, bye.
I've got a feeling
I'm going to get
A lot of grief
Once this seemed so appealing
Now I am beyond belief
I've got a feeling
I'm going to get
A lot of grief
Once this seemed so...
What the fuck!
- Oh, no. No, no.
- It's closed.
What? No. No, I'm gonna be late
for school.
It's Sunday.
Oh, right.
So, what are you going to do?
What, like, long-term?
- For breakfast.
I don't know, maybe I'll...
go back home.
I have eggs.
I'm parked in the alley.
You could follow me.
JULIA: Can I help you
with the dishes?
HORACE: No, I got 'em.
- You a football fan?
- Never missed a game.
Hey, have you ever heard
of some asshole quarterback
named Vance Druid?
Vance has an older brother, Bo.
And Bo was a quarterback
with talent. Two state titles.
But with Vance,
we never made the playoffs.
But everyone treats him
like a celebrity.
Because of his final game.
Let me show ya.
Cool scrapbook.
Never had kids,
plenty of time for hobbies.
So, we were down 14-13,
going for the two-point
conversion in the win
instead of the extra point
in the tie.
And Vance had this opportunity
to redeem
an otherwise mediocre career
on the last play
of his final game.
But when he took the snap,
offensive line just blew up.
There were Lincoln defenders
And Vance started running away.
He was zigzagging a bit,
but pretty well
just fleeing the scene.
I'm gonna check on the coffee.
- He ran away?
- [CHUCKLES] Oh, he sprinted.
We thought he was going to score
against himself.
You could hear it in the crowd,
the shift from, you know,
excitement to amusement.
And then,
around his own 20 yard-line,
for whatever reason,
the humiliation,
maybe he just got tired
of running,
but Vance decided
to try and score after all.
He juked and jived, you know?
Got hit, didn't care,
then two yards from pay dirt,
back to where the play started,
he did
the most remarkable thing.
- Do you want cream?
- Uh-uh.
He had one defender left,
the skinny cornerback
he could bull-rush,
and instead Vance threw the ball
to a teammate,
number 80 in the opposite corner
of the end zone.
He threw, you know,
across his body.
The one throw coaches
tell quarterbacks never to make.
Bound to be intercepted.
But at the last second,
whether he was...
sharing the glory
or just trying to show up
his coaches one last time.
I mean... [WHOOSHES]
Never seen a tighter spiral.
Bismarck affiliates
were collecting B-roll
for a local color story.
That play went national.
- That's what he's famous for?
- Just a freak play.
If that were real,
number 80 would've dropped it.
But it was real.
And it wasn't staged
like the moon landing.
That's what you practice for,
if you know
you're ready for miracles.
You don't play catch
trying to get better
at dropping the ball.
Uh, thank you for the breakfast
and the football.
Come anytime.
We're open every Sunday.
I may take you up on that.
We hope you do.
Hey, I don't know
about that Coach Laidlaw.
He seemed okay to me.
- My friend was defending him...
- Let me stop you there.
I don't like gossip,
and we've lost more games
than we've won this year,
so anything I say
against Coach Laidlaw
could be chalked up
to personal resentment.
But in the court of Saint Peter,
that man is indefensible.
JULIA: The bill that created
the Dakota Territory
originally encompassed
both Dakotas and which States?
MITCH: Wyoming, Montana,
and Coach Laidlaw
must be stopped.
- LAIDLAW: Those my papers?
You scared me.
Just kidding. Just kidding.
I thought you scared me.
I was just...
I'm almost finished.
Wanna pop 'em by my office
end of period?
Yeah, sure, of course.
- Okay.
- Okay.
JULIA: B-minus. Well argued,
but need more details.
Next time, try to flesh out
what you're trying to say.
Nota bene,
feed this to your dog.
[SOFTLY] I did
the extra credit assignment
you assigned for US history.
What are you talking about?
The one on the false hagiography
of Uncle Sam?
I think you'll find
it's adorable.
Meet us behind The Oasis Wheel
tonight after the game.
the Two-Plus-Two-Equals-Four.
The death of Bill Bailey
Was no surprise to me
If you knew him
Like I knew him
Then I know you would agree
His friends saw it comin'
They knew the end was near
I was taken by his cunnin'
In the autumn late last year
News of his death
It travelled across the land
Folks said it was fortune
That he drew
A dead man's hand
He was handsome
He was charmin'...
- Are you the Two-Plus-Two?
- Such a stupid name.
Shut up.
- We are The Four.
- There's three of us.
- No one invited you.
- It's my car.
It's your mother's car.
Get in.
Come on.
- JULIA: Where are we going?
- You'll see.
JULIA: This is about
Mr. Laidlaw?
ELI: You'll see.
- No blindfolds?
- We voted Eli down.
Such a joke.
JULIA: Where's his wife?
ELI: Been gone for three days
now with the kids.
- Her mother died.
- Or maybe she left him.
And Tina moved in.
JULIA: Do her parents know
where she is?
ELI: She's supposed to be
at Tracy Judd's
but, yeah, they probably know.
REBECCA: Everyone knows.
JULIA: What do you think
they're saying?
"Save any room for dessert?"
Do it! Do it!
"Is that a slice of pie?"
ELI: "Yeah. It's pie la mode."
REBECCA: Do you know
what la mode means?
- ELI: It means on the house.
- REBECCA: It doesn't.
[ELI GROANS] "This pie
is making me so thirsty."
"I'm one step ahead of you."
"Ah! Scotch.
"Mm. My favorite.
"Oh, God, you know me so well.
"Oh. And it's single malt.
Good stuff.
"It's like we're soulmates.
"It's like you're the world's
greatest bartender and lover,
"all wrapped into one.
"And, oh, no,
I can't stop talking.
"And now I'm just...
Oh, God, I'm crying.
"No, I shouldn't be crying."
"Oh, no, you're crying?
"I love you. You need to let go.
"It's okay to cry.
Mommy's here, my baby boy.
- "I love you, I've loved you..."
- Shut up.
- Mrs. Rabia?
- Ms... Miss.
What? What do you want me to do?
It's not right.
But if she's in love with him...
ELI: Mitch, what are you doing?
God! What are you doing?
- LAIDLAW: Can I help you?
- ELI: Get down. Get down!
Vanna! Is that you?
Whose car is that?
You wanna come in?
Take a look around?
Satisfy your fucking curiosity?
She died of a marble heart
I bought her
A marble tombstone
I certainly did my part
But then she done me wrong
She done me wrong
ELI: Mitch! Come on, get in!
Your panties are showing!
You're being
so literally menstrual.
- MITCH: You don't know.
- We do know! We do know, Vanna!
We know you're the world's
most gigantic female girl!
Get out of my car, Eli.
- It's your mother's car.
- Get out of my mother's car!
Mitchy, wait up!
- Mitch!
- What is he talking about?
What don't we know?
Love is a terrible thing
to be in, Ms. Rabia.
What? You look like an imbecile.
So, what do you do
with your non-drinking hours?
You make me feel like
I'm on cocaine.
I fantasize
about saving your life.
Please describe yourself
in a way
that confirms my suspicion
I was made to love you forever.
I have a farm with my brother.
- It's fine.
- Oh. What kind of farm?
I will talk to you about things
that don't interest me at all.
Bison? Like buffalo?
No way! That's astounding!
Bison? Like buffalo?
No way! That's astounding!
At least I'm good for something.
I'm the guy
with all the buffalo.
Is that why everyone
treats you like a celebrity?
Or someone said
you played high school football?
Are you famous for that?
If you share your secret,
I will tell you how I hope
New Year's never comes
'cause if I never saw my husband
again, I think I might not care.
Because I feel like
I'm not even done with my 20s,
even though I'm basically 40.
And if I could get my hands
on the book of my life,
I would rip out this page
and eat it
just to have you inside me.
What the hell
are you talking about?
Sorry, I didn't mean to intrude.
I'll get back to Naomi.
But if you wanna hang with us,
we're right there.
This was not the conversation
I was hoping for.
You told me nothing meaningful
and asked me zero questions
about myself,
but I like you, man.
And I will give you 200 chances
to figure out
how to be interested in me.
It was a rare pleasure.
[CLICKS TONGUE] Check you later,
Famous Mr. Bison Man.
One thing I can guarantee you,
that man will be coming over
to join us in three, two...
He just left.
You expect to get a show
Oh, take a look at me
I'm just a clown
And on my face
I wear a frown...
"94 east, arrow, 54 north,
on the left."
That's where we are.
If you wanna see the bison
next weekend maybe...
or not.
- Awesome!
Awesome catch!
My sister's
the next James Lofton!
If girls could play football,
I'd make you All-State!
If girls could play football,
you'd go to Notre Dame for free.
That hurt my chest.
I think I'm getting boobs.
Don't cuss. Get your backpack.
Rebecca's coming.
Why don't you have a girlfriend?
I don't know. Like who?
You should ask out
Tina McAndrew.
MITCH: Think she's
seeing someone.
People shouldn't say that stuff.
You should ask her out on a date
so people don't say that stuff.
One more, hook-and-go.
- Hey! Did you hear the news?
- Which?
Laidlaw's wife came back,
Tina's with her parents.
- And they're pissed!
- At Laidlaw?
No, at Tina. Duh!
What are you doing here?
I shoot free throws
during the free period.
Did you come in here
to spy on me?
Why do you shoot free throws?
It's football season.
I don't really like football.
Then why do you play?
People say you like me.
I don't know why. There's
nothing special about me.
Nothing special
about me, either.
At least you have friends.
They're idiots.
They look up to you.
Just 'cause I don't talk a lot.
You're mysterious.
What do you guys talk about?
Stupid shit. The last game,
the next game,
who would kill who
in a fight between Grendel...
- Chris Sellers and Cubby Candy.
- And me.
You talk about me.
I don't.
So, who would kill who,
between Cubby and Grendel?
I can't tell you.
- You don't know.
- I do know.
It's my superpower.
Tell me.
I'd lose my superpower.
Okay, if I make this shot...
- I'm still not gonna tell you.
Thanks, Mitch.
Here's this...
Just as friends.
WOMAN: I'm dangerous.
Danger's my middle name
Mama told me
It's an awful game
Lately I felt insane
For some love, real love
Feel you're too hot to handle
I'm too cold to touch
I need your love
I need it rough
Don't blow out the candle
The flame is much
I need your love
And I need your to-o-ouch
- VANCE: [YELLS] Julia!
You could have told me
that was a dead end.
You took off too fast.
So, that's the bison, huh?
Yeah, that's the bison
all right.
He's so far away.
Wanna get closer?
- What, like inside the fence?
- Sure.
Like on a horse?
No, they killed poor Alison.
- Like the song.
You named your horse Alison?
Well, that's embarrassing.
I'm embarrassed for your horse.
I'll get the truck.
Get up!
Get up!
Good boys.
What happens if I fall off?
You'll be trampled to death.
That was great.
Thank you for that.
Yeah, it was, uh...
it's my pleasure.
A rare pleasure.
Thank you for the gloves.
Your truck is so cool.
Does it have a name, too?
It's a Sierra.
My purse is in the glove.
How much do you charge
for the...
No, there's no charge.
It was my pleasure.
Well, I'll...
I'll pay you back in beer then.
At Yugo's?
We'll see about that.
I'll probably be there tonight.
Me, too, probably.
After talking in tongues
I began to preach
What falls from the branch
Is an apple or peach
Hold on to me
There's a red alert
It's the way you make me feel
Magnificent hurt
It's the way you make me feel
It's the way you make me feel
For the record, I think
your boyfriend's missing out.
Not my boyfriend.
- Thank you.
- Anytime.
I'm a members-only fan
of the stripper look.
JULIA: He's not so bad, Mike,
my husband.
We have similar interests,
literature and humanities.
I mean, you were married.
- Thirty-seven years, Alma and I.
- Thirty-seven years! Is she...
- We met in kindergarten.
- Holy cow!
Your whole lives.
Minus the five
pre-kindergarten years.
And what was it about her?
How did you know?
I never cared much for dancing.
All the other girls only
wanted you to take them out
so they'd have a dance partner,
but Alma could take it
or leave it.
She... She was happy
to drink punch,
you know, people-watch,
go to games.
Common interests,
I guess you'd say.
Common interests, exactly.
And they say
the way you love a kid,
it doesn't even compare,
so maybe it doesn't even matter.
They do say that.
- Gosh, sorry, no offense.
- No, please.
Alma said to me one day,
after a few years of trying,
"Are we doing this for us
or for the neighbors?
"Just to get 'em
to quit asking?"
But I do want kids.
And then, like with Tina
and Coach Laidlaw,
yes, maybe she is young, but who
is to say that that isn't love?
That is so different!
He is a grown man.
Anyone ever mention Williston
or Darcy Bursch to you?
I don't like gossip.
I need to tend to Alma.
You wanna meet her?
Fatal familial insomnia,
it's a genetic disease.
She doesn't sleep.
She was delusional for a while,
and now
they call this vegetative.
I'm so sorry, Horace.
Doctors think that she can hear,
understand maybe.
I talk to her,
sing her some standards.
You can say hello. Who knows?
Hello, Alma.
There's a difference.
That's all I'm saying,
there's a difference.
When the night falls
It falls on me
Hey, babe.
And I'm so lonely
I'm so lonely
I'm so lonely
I'm so lonely
REBECCA: "Two gin-scented tears
"trickled down
the sides of his nose.
"But it was all right.
"Everything was all right,
the struggle was finished.
"He had won the victory
over himself.
- "He loved Big Brother."
JULIA: Thank you, Rebecca.
Hey, everyone,
remember the test is Friday.
If you haven't got to that page
Miss Grooba read from,
I suggest you get to it!
Hey, Tina, would you hang back
for a second?
I wanted to check in with you,
see how your semester's going.
I do my work on time,
I'm getting high Cs,
what am I doing wrong?
Nothing. Nothing.
I just wanted to say that if...
if you ever want to talk
to an adult, because...
- When I was your age...
- Can I go?
No, not yet.
When I was your age,
I remember feeling like
I didn't have options,
like I was trapped,
I just... I...
What I want you to know
is that life is long.
It is... [CHUCKLES] long.
I-I wanted to be
an essay writer,
a professional essayist,
but there is no market for that,
like Latin fluency, philosophy.
I was a sucker for defending an
indefensible thesis statement.
So if there's no market
for the person you wanna be,
you should just move
to another town,
pretend to be
someone you're not?
No offense, but if I needed
to talk to an adult,
why would I talk to you?
You're the only one
with a worse reputation than me,
and I'm the town slut.
How about now? Can I go now?
Been troubled by much, Lord
The devil and such, Lord
I made some mistakes, Lord
I had junk
In my veins, Lord
'Cause I don't wanna
come home for Thanksgiving.
If Mike wants to see me so bad,
he can come here and prove it.
Show some...
fucking initiative.
When is someone
gonna show some initiative,
and come over to my world, Dad,
instead of me
running all over creation
to accommodate everyone else?
No, I'll talk to her tomorrow.
"Question ten,
at the end of the novel
"Winston Smith dies
after accepting Big Brother.
"Does this make him a hero
or antihero?"
MITCH: Tragic hero.
Because he saw the truth
for a little and spoke it.
His eyes were open,
even if they closed again.
LAIDLAW: Whatcha doing, weirdo?
- Nothing.
- Going to the game tonight?
- No, I have plans.
- Friday night, I'm sure you do.
Shall I take those
off your hands?
Yeah, I'm not doing that,
because I'm good at my job,
and perfectly capable
of grading English papers,
because I'm a professional.
If you have a problem with me
doing my job professionally,
we should take up
with Principal Valentine.
[WHISPERS] I know all about
Darcy Bursch and Williston!
So does everybody in this town.
I'm only asking
for one of those midterms,
and I'm appealing to the better
angels of your nature here.
One of your students
will transfer this semester.
Actually, he/she will be taking
next semester off
and starting up
at a new school in the fall,
where myself
and Principal Valentine
have put in a good word.
But it would look a lot better
on his/her transfer application
if he/she had better
than a high C in your class.
- 'Cause he/she...
- Okay, I get it.
This was not my choice.
It was his/her
and their parents.
Everyone deserves that,
a second shot, you know...
to start over.
Hey, fuckers, who the fuck
are Darcy Bursch and Williston?
Apparently, every fucker
knows about them except me,
and I look like
the tool of tools.
- I thought you were my friends.
- NAOMI: Calm down!
Ted, which one's Darcy Bursch?
Darcy was a junior Coach Laidlaw
impregnated three years ago,
who left town
with her whole family.
Williston was the town Laidlaw
was coach at before here,
until they kicked him out
for knocking up a girl there.
Holy shit!
Why didn't you tell me?
It's embarrassing, okay?
Out of respect for the parents,
we, as a community,
do not speak of it,
because we're good,
we don't go rehashing
what whores
everyone's daughters are.
Your boyfriend was in earlier.
JULIA: I don't have one!
Vance was here with his brother
getting loaded pregame.
Wanted to tell you
'cause he didn't ask after you.
He's at the game.
Let's go get that fucker!
No, I have no interest
in seeing Vance Druid!
No, not seeing, confronting!
He thinks he can stand you up
- an entire calendar month.
- Ten days.
Then come into your bar
with his brother?
These chauvinist men!
No, what?
No, wait, I'm confused!
You're thirsty, drink this.
And this.
Ted's driving,
there's schnapps in the trunk.
LAIDLAW: What do you think?
Think I should put in
a different quarterback?
Think it's time someone
finally called your number?
You're the coach.
You see that there?
That is the reason
we are down 13 points
on our home field right now.
Because instead of saying,
"Put me in the game, Coach,
"I'm ready to play,"
Vanna White over here says,
"You're the coach."
That's why we're losing.
Jesus fuckin' Christ.
You know, a team of men,
you can't keep them
off the football field.
A team of girls,
a team of Vannas,
they just sit there and say,
"You're the coach."
What's it gonna be?
Are you a team
of male homo sapiens?
Or are you a team of females,
of female women,
who ride the bench
their whole lives,
and use lipstick, and...
and wear bras,
and insert fucking tampons?
Owls on three!
One, two, three! Owls!
Why didn't you just ask to play?
Don't you like football?
Not really.
Well, you're different, Vanna.
That's okay.
My name's not Vanna, Grendel.
My name's not Grendel,
it's Chris.
Cubby Candy says
he'll beat the shit out of you.
He says because you play
basketball, which is for queers,
so maybe he's a gay basher.
I play basketball, too.
I thought you should know.
CHESTER: Why didn't I
simply pay a visit?
Meet my cousin Alma
when I had the chance?
Because you're wrong, Horace.
We do know
where it's all headed,
- We can predict the future.
Hey! Hey!
Mystery man,
I've been looking for you.
- Where you been?
- NAOMI: She's looking for you.
I've been around.
- This is my brother Bo.
- Ladies.
Stop looking at my chest.
You wish!
I wanted you to know
I've been disappointed.
I have been disappointed
in your...
in your effort,
in your follow through,
our conversation, and the...
And the bison and the truck.
I'm disappointed.
He is a disappointment,
no surprise.
He can speak for himself!
My brother's not wrong.
If you knew me, you'd know.
Don't tell me what I'd know
if I knew you!
You haven't given me the chance!
[CRYING] I wanted
to save your life!
No, Jules, too much. Too much.
You heard me, save your life!
If you'd just fucking
- show up and let me!
- No, thank you.
- Is everything okay here?
- No trouble, Horace.
Hey, Vance, cut it out. Julia.
- This man...
- What's going on?
Talk about disappointment.
The hand that he has been dealt
and he keeps showing up
for 37 years!
That is devotion,
that's follow through,
and she is in a coma,
in a vegetative state.
- Takes one to know one I guess.
- All right.
- [SCREAMS] Sorry, it's true!
- Calm down a little!
Why can't I say it
- if it's true?
- Calm down.
Horace, his heart
has been broken.
- That's okay.
- BO: We know.
- Okay? I'm gonna go home now.
- Okay.
- NAOMI: We're going home.
- Horace.
- Tell him. Please tell him.
- What? Tell him what?
- What?
- That when you know you know.
When you know, you know!
- Tell him there's a difference.
- Okay.
NAOMI: Let's go.
- Let's go.
- Careful now.
- Tell him. Please!
- NAOMI: Come on!
HORACE: That's enough now.
- That's enough.
- [SCREAMS] Tell him!
What is that?
What are you wearing?
It's enough. Enough.
Enough is enough.
Enough is enough.
Looks like Alma died.
There will come a day
And soon
This cold parade is over
The mule will not
Be stubborn then
The judge will not be sober
The choir will not amplify
The song to put asunder
The day that I know
Is soon to come
Julia Rabia.
For now's the time
Oh now's the time...
Hey, Dad.
Thank you
for accepting the charges.
Mm. No, I'm not.
I'm not back
at the apartments yet, not yet.
How are you?
Oh, I can...
Yeah, I can hear that. I...
Department shindig,
I used to love those.
Is Mike there?
No. No, don't put him on,
don't put him on.
Mm. No, I just tried him,
I'll try later. Later, later.
Yeah, it's loud.
It sounds busy there,
I'll let you go.
I'll let you go.
I have people here, too.
No, don't get her.
No, don't put her on. No.
Hi, Mom!
No, I don't... I don't know yet.
No, we...
We haven't made a definite plan
yet, for coming home,
so I don't... I don't know yet.
I know.
Mom, I have to...
Mom, I have to go. I have to go.
No, don't... don't say that, no.
No, I know.
I know, I know. I know, I know.
I love you, too.
Okay. Okay.
Okay. Bye.
Glass of water. On me.
If I may...
I see a lot of humanity
walk through that door,
and you,
you're better than most.
And someone's gonna
see that someday.
See you.
It's statistics.
The whole world can't be blind.
- Thank you.
- Sure.
And that guy, that lucky SOB,
after he sees you,
after he looks you
deep in the eyes,
he's gonna turn you around,
and bend you over,
and make you a mommy.
And then your life
will finally have some meaning.
As I walk through
This wicked world
Searchin' for light
In the darkness of insanity
NAOMI: Where the fuck
do you think you're going?
You're not a good listener,
Why? No one around here
has anything to say!
Is there only pain
And hatred and misery?
And each time
I feel like this inside
Shut up!
I'm just getting a ride!
What's so funny 'bout peace,
love and understanding?
Baby, can you come get me?
What's so funny 'bout peace,
love and understanding?
Hey, Mike.
Can you talk?
Daddy's best girl
In the world
Is not supposed
To have a boyfriend
But she's never
Wanted at home
Other girls are allowed
To wear their makeup
She sneaks out her lipstick
Powder, and comb
She surrounds his name
With hearts and flowers
Talks on the telephone
For hours and...
HORACE: Solitude can have
a salutary effect.
That's good to know.
HORACE: For a couple of weeks,
I stayed in my house,
wandering from room to room,
looking for something
that was gone.
JULIA: I can't imagine.
HORACE: Sure, you can.
But then
the queerest thing happened.
I noticed I was happy.
Of course I missed Alma,
of course I loved her.
The day she died
was the worst of my life.
And this is something
I will never say out loud,
but I loved
the emptiness of my house.
Or not emptiness, I was there.
But that illness
had been terrible,
and the quiet now, the peace...
Isn't that Mrs. Laidlaw?
HORACE: I'm not saying
keeping company can't be nice,
but if people realized
they didn't need someone else
to invent their happiness,
situations like Tina McAndrew
would never happen.
- JULIA: Liar.
- What?
You said you'd never say it,
you just said it out loud to me.
I'm just catching you up.
Mike and I are taking a break.
So, you can finish the year?
Yeah, at least that.
- Not my business.
- Just catching you up.
What about kids?
My students are great.
I really like high school,
I always have, it's just me.
- I really have to get going.
This first period starts
in 15 minutes.
"It's all about the Set!"
A Winner's Guide to Volleyball.
ELI: It's finally happening!
Oh, my God!
Guys, it's gonna be
the best day ever! Did you hear?
Hear what? Hear what?
The fight! Grendel versus Cubby!
It's finally happening!
After school, 4:30,
at Old Carnoustie's Field!
It's... Apocalypse Rock City.
[GROWLS] It's finally happening!
- Hey, teacher.
- Oh!
- Long time.
- I know. Where you been?
I haven't seen you at Yugo's
for a month now.
Yeah, I just, uh...
I needed to take a break.
You get that?
I do.
I was hoping to bump into you.
Yes, well,
you are at my place of work.
I thought I owed you
an explanation
for dropping the ball earlier.
No, that's... that's okay.
I suffer from depression.
I get depressed.
It's not clinically diagnosed,
but I have, like,
zero self-confidence.
I thought my life would turn out
better than it is,
and I think
that's why I get depressed.
Why are you telling me this?
'Cause in spite of
all this depression,
I've worked up hopefulness
to ask you out for a drink.
Or if you're sober now,
a coffee sometime.
Sure, that would be great.
I'll be at a place in Jamestown
after six o'clock.
The Dutch Boy.
We'll see about that.
Well, happy birthday, Marvin.
Thanks for telling me.
If everyone's insisting, sure.
Yeah, no, dinner sounds great.
Okay, I'll head out then.
See you later.
- But everyone's going!
- I don't want you to see it.
Get a ride from Jan's mom.
Odds are 4-1, Grendel takes it.
What do you think?
How did this even happen?
Dudley Stonerock said
after basketball Friday,
Grendel was complaining about
his basketball shorts
and Dudley was like,
"They're gay."
Then Grendel said
somebody told him
Cubby said he was gay
'cause he plays basketball.
Dudley was like,
"Sounds like him."
They pulled up
next to Witch Tits,
she rolled down the window
'cause he was scowling.
She's like, "What's wrong
with your boyfriend?"
But anyway, Grendel said
that Cubby's a dead man.
I've been on tenterhooks
Endin' in dirty looks
Listenin' to the Muzak
Thinkin' 'bout this and that
She said that's that
ELI: Where is everyone?
Cubby doesn't get off work
till 5:00.
Pump it up
When you don't really need it
ELI: I want it to be now!
Down in the pleasure center
Hell-bent or heaven sent
Listen to the propaganda
MAN: [ON RADIO] extreme
weather advisory.
People in these counties
are advised to stay off roads.
Eddy, Foster, Griggs,
Stutsman, Barnes...
What's he talking about?
It's gorgeous.
Where is he? Where is he?
I'm right here.
- GRENDEL: Are you ready to die?
- This looks so fake.
Mitch, what's it gonna be?
Last chance to tell us
what's gonna happen
before it happens.
Who wins? Cubby or Grendel?
- Kill him! Kill him!
Fuck you! Don't talk to me!
- Cubby.
- W-Why?
Grendel doesn't wanna die.
God, it's suddenly so cold.
- You're a fucking dead man!
- Okay.
GRENDEL: What did I tell you?
I don't know.
I couldn't hear you.
Fuck this. You're dead!
I'm seven miles from Owl,
but I have a full tank of gas.
I will not freeze as long as
I stay inside the car.
I'm a quarter a mile from home,
but my fuel tank
is almost empty.
I cannot stay
in this car forever.
If I do, I will freeze.
JULIA: There are two things
to remember
when trapped in a car
during a blizzard.
One, stay inside the vehicle.
Two, remain calm.
HORACE: There are
three things to remember
when trapped in your vehicle
in a blizzard.
One, stay inside your vehicle.
Two, remain calm.
Three, periodically examine
your exhaust pipe,
making sure it is not blocked
by snow,
which can lead to carbon
monoxide poisoning and death.
I'm 17
and I have so many regrets.
I should've talked
to my parents more.
If playing football
made me so unhappy,
why did I care
about being good at it?
I'm gonna die a virgin.
Who cares?
Playing catch with my sister
made me happy.
I love my sister.
JULIA: In the future,
people will get killed
by cataclysmic catastrophes
like this all the time.
Storms and plague
caused by man's neglect
for his planet and his future.
But this is the '80s,
and that was a righteous time
to be alive.
So, this storm we're in now,
it isn't fate, it's just nature.
Boy, I wish I had a magazine.
My house is at the end
of this driveway.
It's too far for me to crawl.
JULIA: I think I will
close my eyes until morning.
I'll listen to the radio
and the wind,
and have nice dreams.
I'm just tired.
I deserve a break.
MITCH: I will sleep
when I'm dead.
I will sleep when I'm dead.
And this is what I was thinking
until I fell asleep
and it was true.
Hey. I was just nodding off.
What are you doing here?
I'm saving your life, man.
JULIA: I guess at some point
everyone thinks,
"Is this really where I'm
supposed to be? Is this it?"
And you know what?
It really is.
This is what being alive
feels like, you know?
The place doesn't matter.
You just live.
The wind turns like a dagger
The rain falls like a hammer
The sky has grown dark
But it's not too late
The weather crashes down
What's lost cannot be found
The night is closing
But it's not too late
It's not too late
It's not too late
It's not too late
It's not too late
The atmosphere is lethal
But I will fear no evil
The ocean rolls like thunder
The tempest pulls us under
The dogs are howling
But it's not too late
As broken structures rust
False idols turn to dust
All lies in ashes
But it's not too late
It's not too late
It's not too late
It's not too late
It's not too late
The atmosphere is lethal
But I will fear no evil
In the dark before the dawn
The echo of the siren's song
Dies away like a ghost
As the day breaks
It's not too late
It's not too late
It's not too late
It's not too late
The atmosphere is lethal
But I will fear no evil
In the town that time forgot
When you lose a little
You lose a lot
What it is, it is not
And the wind keeps blowing
The set is gonna
Bring some change
The fear of doubt
Is knowing...