Dream Girl 2 (2023) Movie Script

For organizing this
special program every year,
we would like to welcome
the Shaandaliya family from Ladiya,
with a huge round of applause.
And a special thanks
to Zed Black Incense Sticks,
for having built this 50 ft. tall
idol of Mother Goddess.
The windows of my car are down
Never seen a Sikh tiger before.
Oh, please!
All Sikhs are tigers.
And with a huge round of applause,
please welcome
a true devotee of Mother Goddess,
and an amazing performer.
My very own
My personal son.
Mr. Karam Kumar from Mathura.
Please give him a big round of applause.
When you hear the rhythm
Start to move
Get on your feet and dance
Raise your arms and swing them
Get on your feet and dance
Raise your arms and swing them
Get all your wishes fulfilled today
Just remember one thing
Heart's full of mischief
But the body is restless
Blessed by Her benevolence
Your time is now
Even the moonlight's on you
Dance like Michael
Tonight the streets
Are our dance floor
Come on, dance!
Just dance, dance, dance!
Let's go!
Glory to Mother Goddess!
Glory to Mother Goddess!
She's made all your wishes come true
Your actions were always rewarded
She's made all your wishes come true
Your actions were always rewarded
She will bless you with more
My advice is, keep sharing
Raise your hands, sway that waist
Do a few local steps
You've been blessed once more
Be like Govinda
Tonight the streets are our dance floor
Come on, dance!
Just dance, dance, dance!
Hail Mother Goddess!
Hail Mother Goddess!
Hail Mother Goddess!
Hail Mother Goddess!
Hail Mother Goddess!
Hail Mother Goddess!
Hail Mother Goddess!
Let's go!
Glory to Mother Goddess!
Hail Mother Goddess!
Glory to Mother Goddess!
Glory to
I came especially on your request
for this program,
yet you showed up late.
You missed my entry.
I love you.
I love you, too.
I have four children,
but I am still searching for true love.
What are you doing, auntie?
It didn't take me a minute
to understand your hints.
Mother Goddess has answered my prayers.
- Let's run away.
- Please, I wasn't hinting at you.
Then who?
My girlfriend.
You cheat!
Excuse me, dear.
What was all that about?
I don't know.
Who was she?
I signaled you but she showed up instead.
Whatever! Listen.
- It's been over a year since we met.
- I know.
Will you talk to my father
about our marriage or not?
Sure, I will.
It's not like he's dying.
- What?
- I mean he isn't going anywhere.
Come here.
Someone might see us.
- Come on.
- What are you doing, Karam?
How did the program suddenly stop?
Without you, Krishna's love is incomplete
Wait a second.
Are you still sleeping?
And I couldn't sleep all night.
Were you missing me that desperately?
On the contrary, my Dad was missing you.
I told Dad everything.
When we met,
when we fell in love, et cetera.
What do you mean by et cetera?
Don't get on my nerves!
Dad will be arriving at your place soon
to talk about marriage.
To talk about marriage?
To talk about marriage?
Yes. That's what he said.
I don't know all the details.
Now get up and get some snacks.
Isn't he one of those strict
orthodox fathers?
Shut up. And listen.
Make sure you serve him dry fruits
and fruits.
Please don't serve him peanuts.
And yes, make sure
the cups you serve tea in are the same.
Not different ones.
The peanuts look stale.
I guess the place hasn't
been maintained for a long time.
The manor seems pretty old.
Yes, yes.
This place belongs to my ancestors.
My son Karam told me several times,
that we should move to a bigger place.
But I said no.
- Why?
- Because we don't have one.
We'll make him pay today.
- He's always making excuses.
- Jagjeet
- Radhe-Radhe.
- Radhe-Radhe.
My money
- Later. Later.
- When?
We are in no hurry.
We want money, we aren't here to give any.
You won't get a penny.
Pay your old dues first.
I don't want to embarrass you
in front of our guests. Try to understand.
Come on, go out.
At Pari's behest,
I came to see your home.
You don't have a job,
nor do you own any property.
And your bank balance is non-existent.
How could you imagine
that you can have daddy's little girl?
Does love mean nothing to you, uncle?
It doesn't.
Think before you speak.
This is not a rapid fire.
I see.
I should think before I speak.
Why are the cups different?
It's a cup exhibition, son.
- Listen, mister.
- Get up. Get up.
- What is all this? Police?
- Get up! Come on!
- What is going on here? Come on.
- Dad, who who are they?
- You can't barge in like this.
- Having a feast, are you?!
The 40,00,000 rupees you borrowed from
the bank, using this house as leverage,
clear those dues first
only then can you enter.
A scam of 40,00,000 rupees
You see, mister, the thing is
The money we borrowed
using this house as leverage,
was used to help
the needy during the pandemic.
What about the 1,00,000 rupees
you borrowed from me?
- Did you give that too?
- Yes.
They even borrowed our tea cups.
Good God!
Have you spoken about dowry?
Don't mention dowry to me.
I will hand you over to the police.
They said that the money received
in dowry will be used
to pay off our loans.
Ask them. Isn't that what you said?
An alliance? With them?
With these homeless people!
Uncle, the pandemic hit us hard.
Before that,
we didn't have monetary issues.
Look, those programs you
do are a service to Mother Goddess.
I bow to that.
But is it a job?
You call this a job?
- Do you think it's easy?
- Yes
From Mohammed Rafi to Mohammed Aziz.
From Jagjit Singh to Arijit Singh.
No one dared to do these programs.
Even internationally,
Justin Bieber, Shakira, and BTS
aren't talented enough
to do these special programs.
It's easy to sing a few songs
for a few million.
But singing all night, dancing
with the neighborhood females,
with the entire band for only a
handful amount isn't easy, Mr. Srivastav.
Not to mention
our slippers get stolen.
Only a handful of us are blessed by
Mother Goddess to do these programs.
Please I don't want
such a blessed son-in-law.
Let's go.
True love! What I have
for your daughter is true love!
Look! A decent job,
twenty to thirty lakh rupees in the bank,
and a place of your own.
If you can achieve all this,
then prove yourself in six months.
Then we'll talk. Let's go.
Is this Roadies?
You're giving me tasks?
I can't find a job
in six months, Mr. Srivastav.
You can even find God
if you look properly.
Then we'll find God instead.
Please, let it be.
Judging by your age,
God must be looking for you now.
Come on.
I knew from the stale peanuts
that these people are
- Get lost.
- We're like a family, uncle.
- Karam. You guys!
- What do you mean?
He's here.
What happened?
Did someone seal your house again?
Not at all, son.
We were passing by
and thought of staying here
for a couple of weeks.
So that you'll earn some
goodwill and blessings.
- Radhe-Radhe.
- A couple of weeks?
I understand. Come in.
Don't you dare bring them inside!
You don't know how lucky they are.
A new hotel has opened up in Agra.
And I've been appointed as the
manager of their lounge and bar.
Then take them to that bar!
If they come inside, they
will have to do it over my dead body.
I hope I have made myself clear!
- Dad, I
- I won't let them inside.
I won't listen. Not this time.
- I won't let them go in!
- They already did.
Son, that's how terrifying your father is.
Please! They went inside.
Missed it.
I can't get hold of the queen.
Be it in real life or carrom.
Not to mention the
25,00,000 rupees I need.
Don't worry. I am here for you. See.
Like you're the son of some Sheikh.
Son of a Sheikh?
You never told me there are Sheikhs
in Sikhs, as well.
It was a joke.
Oh that was a joke.
You should mention that beforehand
so that we'll know when to laugh.
Shut up.
Pari. What brings you here?
Dad said you need to have
25,00,000 rupees in your account.
Here you go!
Who smudged this painting?
It's called an abstract art.
These mangoes have little heads.
Are these Dasheri mangoes?
Don't eat them.
Baby, I did not know
you could paint too.
Baby, you know this.
Other than writing, dancing,
and singing, I love to paint.
Just as popular painters
like M.F. Husain sir.
Each horse he paints sells
for around 30,00,000 rupees.
So I painted four horses.
We can sell them for
at least 15,00,000 lakh rupees.
Oh, really?
But you can buy a living-breathing
horse for less than 7,00,000.
With sound effects and everything.
- Nonsense.
- What is he saying?
Don't pay attention to him.
Baby, I appreciate your talent.
You don't have to sell your horses.
I will find a job.
Four hundred for a beer.
Is this beer made from grapes,
oranges, or mahua?
- It's free. Gulp it down.
- Right!
Cheers, guys.
Repeat it.
What is that?
They are throwing money.
This is nothing.
People throw away their gold chains,
rings, scooters everything.
They have no shortage of money,
only of love.
Of fondness.
Some don't have a wife,
some don't have a girlfriend.
And some have both.
And some old men only come to watch.
See no energy, but full of lust.
I won't become a bar dancer.
Not again.
Twice, he prayed at Vaishno Devi
and Govardhan to have a daughter.
But he had me instead.
Now turn me into a girl.
I am not turning you into a girl
for my personal needs.
It's only going to make your life better.
Watch it.
Three thousand rupees per night
and the tip is extra.
You'll make at least
10,000 rupees a day.
And if the customers
like your moves
which they will!
Then you can make around 25,000 per night.
And this won't be
the first time you do it.
You've been dressing up as Sita, Radha,
Draupadi, or Paro since childhood.
I was in a theater group.
That was my hobby.
Only the lucky ones can turn
their hobby into their profession.
Is this why you educated me?
I wasn't aware
of the salary package at bars.
Otherwise, I wouldn't have
spent a dime on your education.
What kind of a father is he?
I should have strangled him
as soon as I was born.
I am not dressing up as a girl for anyone.
Daughter. Daughter.
My son.
Here. Talk.
- Who is it?
- Credit card people.
We haven't paid their bills
for the past few months.
He's called a dozen times, son.
Please talk to him.
Hello. Hello.
This is Tiger Pandey
speaking from Lena Dena Bank.
I called you a dozen times.
Why don't you answer?
Tell me. Now.
I am 36-24-36.
Fair complexion,
height 5 ft. 9 in.
Curvaceous body, semi-attractive.
I am his 24-year-old young wife.
Madam, your voice
and figure are awesome.
But why are you telling me this?
Because the nation wants to know,
even after having so many features,
how can anyone leave his wife?
Where did your husband go?
I don't know.
He hasn't come home for a week.
I wish I was a widow.
I would at least know where my husband is.
Look your husband hasn't paid his
credit card bill for three months.
He hasn't paid attention
to me for a week,
and you are worried about your bill.
I don't understand,
who will pay attention to me?
If you don't mind,
you can have all my attention.
Even the neighbors can do that,
but who will pay the bill?
Don't worry about that.
I will get it adjusted.
Are you serious?
By the way, what's your name?
Tiger Pandey.
Tiger Pandey.
The name itself gives a peek
into your personality.
Long hair.
Tall, dark, handsome, wholesome.
I am something like that.
By the way, if you ever need me
be it during the day,
then do call.
I am just a phone call away.
Hello. Hello?
Bravo, Son. Bravo.
With your voice,
you can even have
Sri Lanka's loans waived off.
I tried many places
but I couldn't get a job.
I'll ask Dad
to join us in a few days.
Wait here. I will go get Pari.
Come soon.
You are not ready yet?
Sometimes the train is on time.
Let's go.
Sell this.
Not the paintings!
Don't yap about the paintings again.
Selling these
won't solve our problem.
I know we are facing financial troubles,
but I will think of something.
On my own.
Karam, these are not paintings,
it's jewelry.
It was the only thing you hadn't done,
you started that too?
Look, Srivastav's don't
make good goldsmiths.
- Let's go.
- Karam.
My mom's jewelry is inside this.
My mom always said,
"Marry a nice guy,
and wear this jewelry."
But I know
if my mother was still around,
between the jewelry and a nice guy,
she would have chosen the nice guy.
You can sell these
and fulfill my father's conditions.
We won't elope.
You would sell your mom's
jewelry for our relationship?
We middle-class
boys are a class apart.
We always give our best
and think on our feet.
I'll give it all I have,
to fulfill your father's conditions.
I know you want it
I like it like that
I know you want it
Excuse me.
How can I help you?
Stop boasting your English.
Call your boss.
Rascal, it's you.
I couldn't recognize you.
You would have
if you had looked at my face.
But you said you won't
dress up as a girl.
You were adamant.
What changed?
A helpless man has no options.
Never have I haggled with the vendor,
for size instead of rates.
It paid off.
Call your boss.
He'll be here soon.
There he is. That's the owner.
Fragile Pappi Lahiri.
Sona Bhai aka Saajan Tiwari.
The owner of two kids and four bars.
Don't underestimate him.
Drink your milk and off to bed.
Come on.
Take it.
Sir. Good evening.
Good evening.
Sir, meet Pooja.
An acquaintance of mine.
From all those poor souls
who lost their jobs in the lockdown,
- she was affected the most.
- Oh!
Her mom passed away when she was a kid,
and her father
just passed from behind you.
- Where?
- Here.
- Hello.
- Oh hello, hello.
She is my daughter.
She said your office needs a dance girl,
- Yes.
- So I brought her here.
You did the right thing, uncle.
Well, we have many dancers here.
Tell me. What makes her stand apart?
They all are foreigners,
they have been around
even before the independence.
But she is made in India.
A local.
And she sings well.
And she's been performing
for All India Radio for years,
so she is an amazing performer, as well.
Actually, God has packed me
with more features than a smartphone.
I can get the customers
to spend the kind of money,
which even the bar girls couldn't
make them spend during demonetization.
Just give me one chance.
Show me.
Just show me.
I know you want it
I like it like that
Waiting at the crossroad of love
Feeling so lonely
My beloved is across the shore
I know you want it
Waiting at the crossroad of love
Feeling so lonely
My beloved is across the shore
I sent him several DMs
On vanish mode, my love
But he never gives a reply, I gave up
Every moment my eyes long for you
If you are my sweetheart
Come fall in love with me
If you are my sweetheart
Come fall in love with me
If you don't want to come
Then take me across the shore
If you are my sweetheart
Take me across the shore
Take me across the shore
Baby, take me across
Take me across the shore
I know you want it
With you
The mood is always romantic
Every moment feels intoxicated
With you
The mood is always romantic
Every moment feels intoxicated
Love me with no restrictions
Cross all boundaries for my love
Let your dormant heart beat faster
Be as restless as I am
Even a little distance, seems too far
Too far
If you are my sweetheart
Come fall in love with me
If you are my sweetheart
Come fall in love with me
If you don't want to come
Then take me across the shore
Take me across the shore
Take me across the shore
Uncle my hair.
- Uncle, you're ruining my hair.
- Disgusting!
What horrible color is this?
I spent 5000 to dye it gold.
You could have
used real gold for 5000.
Why have you glued copper to your hair?
Henceforth, you'll be following
all the rituals and traditions.
Praying five times a day.
Friday prayer.
Traditional attire and a cap.
- Uncle, why not get us married, as well?
- What?
You always see all the problems
in innocent fellows like us!
No, Uncs. This is wrong.
Am I your uncle or a WhatsApp group?
If you weren't
the children of my late brother,
you would be rotting
in jail under false implications.
Sakina has dyed her hair, as well. Look.
Why don't you say anything to her?
Sakina will bear children in the future.
Can you?
She is the only one,
upholding the honor of my family.
Father. Your honor has been slandered.
Please untie me. Untie me.
Please Untie me.
Whose funeral is this?
Who died?
He died in your daughter's love.
What are your intentions? Let me go.
What kind of behavior is this?
Who is he?
I think he's a Punjabi.
He doesn't look like a Punjabi, he is one.
But who is he?
He is Smiley.
He is having an affair with Sakina.
Abu Daddy, hello.
Ours is one of the oldest
and most reputed families in Agra.
Yes. I know.
No Tom, Dick, or Harry
can be my son-in-law.
And even after being aware that
Sakina belongs to a different religion,
how dare you fall in love with her?
I didn't know at first
that Sakina is a Muslim.
What did you think?
Is Sakina a Japanese name?
Not at all. Actually
Who is loitering in the back?
Sakina's grandfather.
Does he ever stop?
Why? Do you need a lift?
- I would if you untie me.
- Quiet.
I have a question.
What is so special about you,
that I would let Sakina marry you?
I will keep her happy.
Even Kapil Sharma's show
makes my daughter happy.
Should I let her marry Kapil Sharma then?
Why not?
But always remember
Kapil shows up only twice a week,
with an entire team and a judge.
I will come alone.
All seven days, twenty-hour hours,
without a break.
So, Sakina, you love me, nah?
Son, we are not the kind of people
who oppose two lovers
on grounds of religion and caste.
I like you.
Untie him.
Thank you, Abu Daddy.
- You two look marvelous together.
- Thank you.
But, son, there is a problem.
What is it?
Sakina cannot get married,
unless and until Shahrukh gets married.
What are you saying?
He has three children.
He is already married.
Not Shahrukh Khan,
Mohammad Shahrukh.
My elder brother.
Oh sorry.
So when is my brother-in-law
getting married?
Unfortunately, he had
a breakup six months ago.
Since then,
he's been gravely depressed.
Did you take him to a doctor?
He said to take him to a better doctor.
You should have
taken a second opinion...
Second, third, fourth
We took every opinion available.
But it was futile!
Whoever helps Shahrukh
to get out of depression,
will be awarded 10,00,000 rupees.
- Ten lakh rupees?
- Ten lakh rupees!
Here's an idea.
Auction me away.
Ten lakh rupees at
the snap of a finger, Son.
I told them with full confidence,
that you are a successful psychiatrist.
- Amazing.
- Can you even spell psychiatrist?
Psychiatrist, my foot!
It starts with "P".
Are you serious?
Not with "C"?
Only one thing starts with "C."
And that's you.
I am "cute."
It's not "cute"
Are you crazy?
I have barely finished high school.
You just complicated everything.
Me, a psychiatrist?
Hello, boy.
Excuse me.
It's a better profile than a bar girl.
- Right, uncle?
- Yes. Yes.
Singing, dancing, grace
It's all a part of
a psychiatrist's treatment.
What if singing, dancing, and grace
don't cure his depression?
His sister...
Can only marry me
when her brother gets married.
Do you get it?
His sister's marriage...
Not him his sister.
Oh my, these people are filthy rich.
Ever seen a pauper's
son slip into depression?
I am one.
Who is that rolling on four wheels?
That's Sakina's rolling grandpa.
For his age,
he rolls more than we do now.
Greetings, Abu Daddy.
- Greetings.
- Greetings.
- Sit.
- This is Pooja.
And that's Sakina's father.
- Hi, Mount Abu.
- Father.
By the way, where is the patient?
I am Mohammad Shaukiya.
His eldest son.
So you are in depression.
When your height doesn't grow with age,
then a man's bound to be depressed.
No, no, don't judge me
by my personality, lady.
From top to bottom,
I am completely normal.
The patient is inside.
- Sakina.
- Yes?
Take her to Shahrukh's room.
nein-nyet-none of the above!
Such a complicated no.
I won't go to any room.
The patient will come here.
Look, I won't ask who dumped you.
I just want to ask
how much you loved her.
Who proposed to whom?
Ever sung a song for her?
Well, I'll sing for you.
Would you like to hear it?
Are you chewing tobacco?
It's not your fault, brother.
Some faces are awful!
Not a single grin.
When you divide it with 10,00,000 rupees,
each tooth is worth 31,250 rupees.
A single grin would fetch
me half a lakh or so.
But no.
Forget it.
I'll find someone else.
Will you give this job to someone else?
Not the job. I'll find
someone else for you to marry.
Forget Pari.
You don't know about my love for Pari,
and Pooja's charisma.
- I see.
- Yes.
If I want,
I can make Abu Salim fall for me,
and become Shahrukh's mom.
Just wait and watch. Forget a grin,
I'll get a broad smile from Shahrukh.
CURSES COME HOME TO ROOSWhat is this aloofness?
What kind of helplessness is this?
When two birds fall in love
Meeting each other is a must
Listen to me, oh tormentor
You have crossed all limits
How long will you keep
Making false promises?
With your photo in my hand
I stay awake at night
I've lost my slumber
Since I've grown wings of love
For you, my heart
Keeps ringing like a telephone
My heart keeps ringing like a telephone
Oh beloved,
It keeps ringing like a telephone
My heart keeps ringing like a telephone
In your love
I spend my nights counting stars
Even with my friends
All I talk about is you
You don't know how much I have to lie
Whenever anyone asks
When the wedding is
When the wedding is
Love is a journey
That you can't tread alone
Love is a journey
That you can't tread alone
God knows when we'll start dating
For you, my heart
Keeps ringing like a telephone
My heart keeps ringing like a telephone
Be my dream girl
I am searching for your love
I might just die
I am searching for your love
Be my dream girl
I am searching for your love
I might just die
I am searching for your love
Be my dream girl
I am searching for your love
I might just die
I am searching for your love
No, no.
Abu Daddy, this is impossible.
She is educated.
She is good-looking.
She is a psychiatrist.
And everyone in
my family likes Pooja.
- Right, Shaukiya.
- Yes, daddy dearest.
So, Pooja will be our daughter-in-law.
But I
Daddy dearest.
I am your stepson.
But you're so concerned about me.
Thank you, daddy dearest.
I love you.
You are God
You've been drinking again!
I've told you countless times
to stop drinking.
This is why you can't get married.
I am talking about Shahrukh
and Pooja's wedding.
But why are you hung up on Pooja?
I'll find someone else for Shahrukh.
Amanpreet, my cousin from Jalandhar.
She recently came out of coma.
It will be a perfect match! Won't it?
Just say yes.
- Yes.
- Not at all.
Pooja and only Pooja.
Okay. But
But what?
Forget it.
You have made up your mind so
But what? Tell me.
I didn't want to say this,
but as the future
son-in-law of this family,
it's my duty.
Pooja is characterless.
- What?
- Yes.
In fact, she had her
first boyfriend at the age of 18.
Do you know who?
The vegetable vendor.
She would talk grossly
to a grocery seller.
Stop. Stop.
Yes, even the bus conductor...
Stop. I meant, shut up.
I don't want to hear anymore.
Our Shahrukh's just like her.
That's why he doesn't get any proposals.
Sir, why don't you understand?
Until Shahrukh doesn't get married,
you cannot marry Sakina.
Get Shahrukh married,
and take Sakina home the next day.
- Abu Daddy...
- And another thing.
I'll pay Pooja 50,00,000 rupees
to marry Shahrukh.
- Look, please. Don't hit me.
- You dog.
Don't hit me
Do you think I am some charity,
that you're using everywhere?
Auntie, Radhe-Radhe.
- Where are you going?
- Don't hit
Listen to me.
Don't hit me.
- Please, listen to me.
- Stop, you idiot! Go jump in the river.
- I am falling. I am falling
- Go jump.
I am not some sanitizer
that you're giving to everyone.
Now tell me.
They are paying you 50,00,000 rupees
for this marriage.
Fifty lakh rupees!
You'll get fresh notes!
Fresh notes?
What about the performance
he'll demand in exchange at night?
- Yes, I didn't think about that.
- Exactly.
Just manage for one night.
I will marry Sakina the next day.
Then you can run away.
We'll say that she was a fraud.
Are you dumb?
What will Pari think if she finds out?
Who is going to tell her?
You can become a bar girl
for your selfish means,
but can't help your dear friend out.
Son it's a good deal.
- Very good deal.
- I see.
Then you marry him.
A couple of years ago
I would have taken up the offer.
Such a big amount in a single night.
How much for a single night?
Who is paying?
Pari, what brings you here?
Dad wanted an update
on Karam's job search.
So I thought I'd ask.
- Radhe-Radhe, uncle.
- Radhe-Radhe.
Please make him understand.
They are paying handsomely for one night.
I mean, to sing.
But he doesn't agree.
Why aren't you singing?
Singing is not the problem.
What scares me is
if they ask for a performance!
You can charge extra for that?
Right, uncle?
Bravo, child.
Child, we are very proud
that you're coming to my home
as a daughter-in-law.
Did you forget, Karam?
The faster you make money,
the sooner I'll be your bride.
Dad, I always knew,
I would be a bride when I grow up.
We've taken money from so many people,
that now I've to take wedding vows.
Only because of him.
My pleasure, brother.
Pleasure, my foot!
Don't be mad.
What you're doing for me,
even my brother wouldn't do.
I don't know how
I am going to pay off this favor.
Don't take my skirt off instead.
- Back off!
- Sorry.
I have a question.
What was the need for a lavish wedding?
We could have had a small wedding.
On top of that, such a huge resort!
The resort isn't huge,
you've been a pauper for ages.
This is how the rich roll.
They pay more for less.
And paupers like us
We keep holding on
to whatever little we have.
Who is it?
Blouse, dress
- Go inside. Scarf!
- Wait.
- Your dress.
- Arrange the oranges properly.
- Don't open it until I say so.
- Yes.
Should I?
- Open it now.
- Yes!
Is sister-in-law Pooja ready?
Yes she is arranging her oranges.
I meant, the interlude of the song.
- She likes to sing.
- I see.
She wants to sing for
Shahrukh on their first night.
Oh my, God. So romantic.
Let me introduce her.
She is my aunt Jumani.
I don't believe you.
She's your younger sister.
And even if she's the eldest, then she
might only be by a couple of minutes.
You are being modest.
I am like her elder sister.
How soon will
sister-in-law Pooja be ready?
Well she's ready finally.
Hey. Did you ask the band to stop playing?
You're lucky I didn't stop this wedding.
You knew I love Pooja,
yet you're getting
Pooja married to that Shahrukh.
You've been drinking again.
I have. And I am proud of it.
Always remember,
this is why no one likes you.
Pooja likes me because of this.
In Pooja's eyes, I've seen
Lust. You saw lust.
If you ever utter
Pooja's name again,
I will kill you.
You bottle-less cork.
Get out.
Dearest, Sister-in-law.
Scratch me, will you?
Scratch your own.
My back needs scratching.
- I see.
- Go lower. Lower.
Lower. Yes, there.
My beard will grow back
in two hours. Arrange for a razor.
Asking a Sikh for a razor.
Aren't you ashamed?
He is touching her in illegal areas.
Let's go see his legal.
What are you doing?
Your boyfriend.
While you're busy taking selfies,
your boyfriend is
tuning in to two channels at a time.
We saw him with sister-in-law Pooja.
Your personal kitchen
is also doing charity outside.
They are friends.
Wait a minute,
I know what's going on.
Dad approved my love marriage,
that's why you two are jealous.
With the grace of God,
the wedding is happening
at a very auspicious moment.
This relationship will
last for a lifetime.
Listen, sir.
Don't try to be an astrologer,
when we paid you to be a priest.
Please begin with the wedding.
Yes, I will.
Do you accept this holy matrimony
with Abu Salim's son Shahrukh?
Shahrukh Weds Pooja.
What a coincidence!
There is a Pooja here, as well.
Do you accept or not?
I do. I do. I do.
And you?
I do.
Marvelous! Fantastic!
So, angels have descended
from heaven here.
- Hello.
- Shut up.
What is he doing here?
I don't know.
I didn't invite him.
Buddy, I don't feel too well.
I'll go grab a bite.
- Wait!
- I'll be right back.
Everyone has deserted me.
Drop me off at the salad counter.
- What are you doing?
- Drive faster.
Who invited you here?
Get out.
I wish you hadn't invited me
to your sister's wedding,
then my life wouldn't be ruined.
I have a question.
Your son isn't even fit to be cursed,
who gave him their daughter?
Just like we gave you our sister,
without cursing you.
Wish you had cursed me instead.
That would have been better
than giving me your sister.
Throw him out, Brother.
You don't get to see the bride.
Get lost.
I see.
Divorce papers are ready.
My lawyer will come tomorrow,
and throw it in your face.
Send it over. I will sign it.
- And another thing.
- What?
Do you have an
ice cream counter or not?
Get out.
Be careful on the stairs.
This is how it goes
How will I live without you?
Even I cannot live without you.
Respected Nawab sir,
if you don't mind
can I accompany her for one night?
My daughter has never
gone anywhere alone.
I am worried about her.
Is she going to the border?
Nawab sir, this is nothing
short of going on a border.
Please let him come, Abu Daddy.
It's only for one night.
Fine. Let's go.
They're here.
Tomorrow morning, we disappear
as soon as Smiley shows up.
Before that, I will make them
pay the 50,00,000 rupees.
They might go back
on their words later.
That's right.
Pari's calling.
- Talk to her.
- Give it.
Honey, where are you?
Not honey. This is honey's dad.
Radhe-Radhe, uncle.
Where is Karam?
Pray to the Gods.
She is gearing up for the most
dangerous performance of her life.
The artist who is performing,
Karam is going to sing a duet with her.
Have fun, Sister-in-law.
Brother Shahrukh is waiting for you.
Hrithik's posters in Shahrukh's room.
Who is it?
A bad omen.
Sorry, I'll get another one.
No need.
I took a pill.
Which pill?
Sleeping pill. Why?
Good God!
Tonight is our first night.
Are you not going
to do anything funny?
Aren't you happy with this marriage?
A huge place like this and
there's a freaking lizard in the bathroom!
Hello. Can you hear me?
Wait a second.
This is urgent.
Who is watering the plants at this hour?
He's out of his mind.
How was your first night?
Don't be late in the morning.
Don't worry.
I'll be there before you know it.
Daughter-in-law? Boy?
Why did you leave us, Dad?
You weren't that old!
He was 105 years old.
He was born at a time
when the army fought with their hands.
This is unfair.
Absolutely unfair.
Nawab sir,
why didn't you tell me this earlier?
We found out in the morning.
Who told you?
I spent the entire night
counting notes with these hands.
They turned out
to be twenty-five instead of fifty.
Are you out of your mind?
My grandpa is dead,
and you're crying over money.
He was alive and well till last night.
When did this happen?
You want the balance amount,
don't you? Come with me.
You will pay me before the funeral, right?
I have such an uncouth father-in-law!
It will make his soul rest in peace, dear
What happened to Grandpa?
He was going to the lavatory.
Which laboratory?
Not the laboratory, dear.
He was going to the bathroom.
It was urgent.
So urgent that he died.
Play the serpent tune.
What will it take to make you stop?
The serpent gem?
Sorry, Abu Daddy.
Here you go.
Smiley weds Sakina.
Today 7 p.m. onwards, Milan Vatika Garden.
My entire family has already reached.
Please don't be late.
This is my first wedding.
You fool.
My father is dead,
and you are worried about your wedding.
Sorry, I didn't notice amid my excitement.
When did it happen?
Today, in the morning.
Look when someone dies in the family,
we cannot conduct any
auspicious ceremony for six months.
What? How many months?
Six months.
What is wrong with her?
- Oh, my God! Good Lord!
- What's this?
What happened to grandpa? Why? Where?
Why did he have to die now?
Happy realization!
You didn't cry at first.
You don't know how many
lives his death has ruined.
And Abu Daddy,
I got married yesterday,
and today he's dead.
I think I'm the unlucky one.
I don't deserve to stay here.
- I am leaving...
- Wait.
This is not your fault.
- It is my fault.
- Dearest, Sister-in-law.
Take a look at this before you leave.
See what Grandpa wrote
on the wall before he died.
I am sorry. I was going to tell you...
His last wish was for his
daughter-in-law to give birth to a boy.
Or he could have written girl, as well.
This is what I wanted to say.
A family where children
are born to fulfill
the elder's last wish
and not by the consent of parents,
I cannot stay there at all.
Wait. Stop.
- Dearest, Sister-in-law, stop!
- Don't stop me. I am leaving.
But I can't go.
I don't want to leave Grandpa.
- Grandpa.
- Grandpa, why did you leave us?
- Who are you?
- I am the lawyer. Pari.
Dad, Grandpa hasn't
even reached heaven yet,
and you already called
a lawyer for the will!
I get the Noida plot.
I am Mr. Saajan's lawyer.
- He sent these divorce papers.
- Divorce!
Give me. I'll sign them right away.
What is going on here?
Be it in marriage, children,
or divorce you're always in a hurry.
What's the hurry?
We'll have it sent over.
Did someone pass away?
No. Grandpa likes to play dead.
I cannot keep Pari in the dark anymore.
I will tell her the truth right now.
Man, the things I've to do for love,
friendship, and family!
Where have you been?
I called six times.
And why have you tied this handkerchief?
So that your father
doesn't see me. Let's go
You were going to tell me something today.
- Me.
- Yes.
Oh, yes. I got a job.
I've reacquired my house.
- I see.
- Yes.
How did you make so much money so soon?
It's an easy and fun job.
Satisfy the customer, and get paid.
Sometimes they even give a bonus.
What do you think?
They must pay you extra for a kiss?
Extra money for hugs
- and other things.
- What do you mean?
Meeting with that auntie
during the program.
- And now this.
- What are you talking about?
Dad told you to earn money,
not to do this.
What do you mean?
Don't call or text me again.
- I hate you.
- Hate you? Hate you?
That's all you ever say!
Listen, you blessed son-in-law.
- Hello, uncle.
- It's okay.
This is not the kissing booth.
What do you mean?
Have you smeared tomato sauce
on your lips?
I am not dressing up as Pooja.
First of all, she's my girlfriend.
On top of that, she's a lawyer.
She always doubts me.
She isn't answering my calls.
I cannot do this.
Are you out of your mind?
We'll never get the remaining
25,00,000 rupees.
Forget that!
What if they have us arrested for fraud?
- It's only a matter of a few nights.
- Why couldn't you say day?
Those who want to do it,
don't care whether it's day or night.
Hello. This is your Tiger speaking.
- Tell me.
- I called to say,
I paid your credit card bill.
You seem pretty eager.
Why did you pay it?
Well since I couldn't
pay any attention to you,
I paid your bill.
Brother, your food.
Yes, you eat it.
My mother's eye needed surgery.
I had saved money for her.
So I took some from that.
Oh you screwed your
mom's screwed-up eye.
Mom can still see properly with one eye.
So I can get the surgery done later.
And anyway, you are not different from me.
To be honest,
I am desperate to meet you.
I can't meet you.
My husband is back.
What? When? How?
Why did that wretch come back?
Pooja. Your husband
is waiting for you on the sofa.
Who are you talking to on the phone?
Don't know. It's a wrong number.
It's some mutt called Tiger.
I am sorry, Tiger.
I can never talk to you again.
No, Pooja, please. Hello.
Don't call me again.
He will never call again.
- My credit card bill is paid.
- Where is he?
- That's it.
- Imposter.
Abu Daddy.
- Liar.
- Nawab sir.
You should fear God.
How could you keep
such a big secret from us?
- We're screwed.
- You know who I am.
Nawab sir, I was going to tell you
When were you going to tell me?
You kept such a big secret from me,
even after my son's wedding.
Why didn't you tell me
that you also have a son?
That Pooja has a brother.
He's not. He's not her brother.
What's the point of having a brother,
who couldn't even
attend his sister's wedding?
Or show up for the ritual
of Raksha Bandhan.
And he has the audacity to come now!
When I asked him why now?
This rascal wants half of the remaining
25,00,000 rupees
that you agreed to pay me.
Nawab sir.
Here you go.
Throw the 12,50,000 rupees on his face!
My father is not some ATM
who will throw money in your face.
- Greetings.
- Hello.
I am Shahrukh's aunt who
is more like his younger sister.
Jumani. You're supposed to button them.
Where is my daughter-in-law Pooja?
Dearest, Sister-in-law.
Dearest, Sister-in-law.
Pardon my interruption,
but these two have
always been at loggerheads.
She just stormed out of here.
I've been trying to call her but
she isn't answering. She is very stubborn.
- Very stubborn.
- You had me scared. I thought maybe she...
Doesn't matter. I'll call her.
Just like identical faces,
they even have identical phones.
She took his phone and left hers behind.
Give me your number.
Listen duplicate Humayun.
I am talking to you.
I don't give my number
to any Tom Dick or an unknown person!
Tom and Dick are okay,
but who are you calling unknown.
Don't you have any manners?
Step Nawab sir,
he's been this way since childhood.
He didn't speak to me for the first couple
of years when he was born.
- No one does.
- That's true.
But he will now.
Now he is my responsibility.
- Why?
- Send Pooja over as soon as she returns.
I'll make them talk to each other.
- Come with me.
- Is this some exchange offer?
- Let's go.
- I won't go.
- Come on.
- I won't go.
Let's go.
I won't go.
Come, will you?!
- Come.
- What kind of exchange offer is this?
- Uncle.
- Yes?
Do you have prison uniforms?
Your sweet torment
Surreptitious torment
Here and around
I am angry
Cajole me, my love
I will tease you
- Girl
- Hey, hello.
Check. Check. Check.
Turn around.
Pardon me. I forgot to ask.
Would you like tea or coffee?
I want booze. Can you get me some?
Booze is blasphemy in our religion.
If you want,
I can intoxicate you with my eyes.
There is a rumor in the market
I don't know how true it is.
They say my eyes are identical to Rekha's.
Can I say something?
Your eyes are hardly identical
to each other, let alone Rekha's.
Shocked, aren't you? I was too.
That's Pooja's twin brother Karam.
And he's your brother-in-law Shahrukh.
Then henceforth, I am Salman.
My father ruined his daughter's
life for the sake of money.
- Who let this douche in?
- Who are you calling a douche?
You heard what I said. Feel it.
He is your future uncle.
What uncle, brother-in-law shit is this!
Is this some kind of family drama?
Sona bhai, she isn't answering
my calls either. What do I do?
I don't drink on duty.
I have already dialed her number.
Just a minute.
Hello, Pooja. Sona Bhai.
Don't utter that idiot's name.
Sona Bhai.
Just because he gave me a job,
he won't stop chasing me.
Who did you call?
I think her brother answered the phone.
Brother, give the phone to Pooja.
Sona Bhai is here with me,
and you're on speaker.
Brother, give me the phone.
No, I won't.
First, tell me who is calling.
It's Sona.
You're not sleeping with anyone.
Brother, my life, my rules,
my phone, my balance.
Hello, Sona Ji.
My brother called
you an idiot, rascal, donkey,
stupid, and a good-for-nothing fool.
Your brother didn't
call me all these things.
He did. I am sorry for that.
I want to know about your whereabouts.
You informed us about one day's absence.
It's been three days now.
You neither answer my calls
nor do you reply.
You've stopped coming to the bar, as well.
I can't for a few more days.
I am menstruating.
I can't do anything for a couple of days.
Ladies problem.
Oh why didn't you say so?
Here's what you do.
As soon as you're comfortable again,
come immediately.
We can't do anything.
Can you get me a hot water bag?
Ladies problem! Ladies problem!
Yes, I know.
- Who is it?
- You come here.
It's you.
Come, let's shower together.
His SIM card has been activated.
- Whose?
- Shahrukh's.
He can make a call at any time.
I don't know why he's so inclined
towards me these days. I don't know.
I am not doing this drama anymore.
Are you crazy? What are you doing?
Stand properly. Show some grace.
You will get us killed.
If Pari finds out about this,
then we are doomed!
I am going to see her.
No need to go anywhere.
I've called daddy's little girl here.
- Here?
- Yes.
- Why?
- When she sees you dressed as a girl,
her doubts like why you have
lipstick on your face will be cleared.
Get it?
For the first time,
you're making sense, buddy.
Thank you. Thank you.
- Man I troubled you a lot, didn't I?
- It's okay.
I feel so peaceful
when I take you in my arms.
No wonder that idiot Shahrukh
is head over heels for you.
Touch me.
What is it Shut up!
Oh, my God.
Being an Indian, how can you be
half an hour early?
This is wrong.
I am deeply hurt.
Shut up.
I had my doubts,
but Sister-in-law, you too?
Stop your drama.
What do I do?
Sakina, listen to me.
It's not what you think.
Shameless fellow! He's crossed all limits.
My suspicion has been confirmed.
I hate him.
From today, no Pooja, only Karam.
Too much fun.
Hey! You are here.
I took it off.
I see.
Do you have no shame?
You're saying such
a disgusting thing so proudly.
- No
- First that lipstick and now this.
Listen to me.
What's there to listen?
- I've seen what I had to.
- But
How could you stoop
so low for money, Karam?
- No
- Disgusting.
What is disgusting?
- Don't follow me!
- Where else should I go?
- Go to hell.
- Where?
Go jump in the river.
I'm telling you that I took it off.
I forgot to add "from my body."
I took it off my own body.
I own it!
- Greetings, brother. Radhe-Radhe.
- Yes!
Pari, that was my bra.
At least, hear me out.
Really? I never saw you
wear it before. Go to hell.
Those were my theater costumes.
You know I've been dressing up
as Radha, Sita, Draupadi since childhood.
- Don't believe me?
- No.
- Want to speak to the organizer?
- Yes.
Of course. Talk to him. Organizer!
Hello, Karam.
Did you finish trying out your clothes?
Checked the bra yet?
Yes, it's a bit tight.
Have it loosened by two inches.
Karam, I thought Forget it. I am sorry.
Don't doubt me. I am only yours.
I love you.
Love you, too.
You will have to go over my dead body.
I will.
Please, buddy. Listen to me. Don't do it.
He will have us both thrown in jail.
As if we are having the time
of our lives right now!
This place is worse than jail.
My girlfriend, for whom I was doing
all this would have left me.
- What's the point of all this?
- Try to understand.
Let's find a solution. Let's Google
I'll go to Abu Salim right now,
strip off every piece of cloth,
and transform from Pooja to Karam.
He should know,
what he purchased as a moped,
is actually a motorcycle.
Forget the motorcycle.
Man, he will beat us black and blue.
Such a big lie,
such a huge fraud.
I did have my doubts.
Keep hitting them. Don't stop.
- Hit like this.
- Oh, my!
Why are they hitting them so much?
- Hit these idiots.
- Brother, please.
They lied to us.
- Come.
- Your bag
Enough now, Uncle.
Please save me, Brother.
You rascals
Abu Daddy, what happened?
Why are you beating these pure souls?
They lied to me.
Said we're going to watch Sunny's film.
I said, "Let's go, nephews."
I watched for 20 minutes.
Sunny Leone was tearing
up the screen instead of Sunny Deol.
And someone else
was uprooting the hand pump.
- It was a small lie.
- Small lie?
You changed the entire gender,
don't you dare call it a small lie.
do you have anything to say?
Something about a moped
becoming a motorcycle, right?
We never had such a conversation.
I was just saying,
there is nothing wrong
with watching Sunny Leone's film.
I have nothing against Sunny Leone.
She is a lovely girl.
But lies.
I cannot tolerate lies.
Beat him.
it took me two hours, two burgers,
and three ice-creams to convince Sakina
that I wasn't having
an affair with her sister-in-law.
She checked my entire phone.
Even the batteries.
Only then, she was convinced.
- It's not funny.
- Quiet. Be quiet.
Do you know how tough
it is to become a girl?
Moreover, it's even more tough
to be a girl.
Ask me.
You are drunk. Get up.
I'll drop you at your in-law's place.
We brothers will ride together. Come on.
God knows whose house
you'll take me to this time.
I'll go on my own. No, wait
- Mom is awake.
- Mom is awake.
- Mom is awake.
- Whose Mom?
- Dad.
- Dad.
- Dad.
- What happened?
Go to bed.
Mom is awake. Mom is awake.
- You are awake.
- Mom is awake.
Mom is awake.
How did I get here?
You were lying unconscious
on the street. I brought you here.
Who wouldn't want to lift a flower?
- Did I seem like a flower to you?
- Absolutely.
Even my first wife was a flower.
She came with a flower pot.
I have a question. Were you drunk?
Yes. Just a little bit of scotch.
It smelled like oranges.
Yes. I gulp down a few pegs when need be.
As you know, dancing in the bar and all
Just a few more days.
As soon as I get divorced,
my children will have a mom.
Dad, I want to swing in Mom's arms.
Dad, I want to drink milk.
Swinging in the arms is fine, but
what's this demand about drinking milk?
The milk is boiling in the kitchen.
He's talking about that.
Come on, son. Run along.
Would you like to be a mother?
I can't be one.
Leave that to me.
But I am marrying someone else.
I will kill him and marry you.
You're blushing!
It's pretty late. I should leave.
You cannot leave like this.
I will drop you home.
You will drop me home?
Why not?
Even I like to do some charity.
So, this is where you live.
In that back alley.
Then we missed it.
Stopping in front
of the house won't look nice.
- Correct.
- Do you know anyone here?
Yes few wretched people I know.
Okay, thanks.
Before you leave,
say those three magic words.
I must pee.
Oh, my! She was amazing!
Sister-in-law. Uncle. Kiss.
This is my case.
I guess they arranged the money.
I told you, Dad. Karam will manage.
Hey, you. Mr. Painter.
Come here
Mister. Hello.
- Radhe-Radhe.
- Radhe Radhe-Radhe.
Did you apply for a top-up loan
to make more money?
Not at all. We've so much money now
that we can even lend you some.
- I see. Come, let's sit on the lawn.
- Please come.
Sit. I'll go make some tea.
Wow. She's a bit different
from what I imagined.
But works for me.
Who are you, brother?
Mind your language.
Do I look like a brother to you?
Credit card. Attention. Missing husband.
Adjustment. Remember?
- Do you recognize me?
- Tiger who?
I'll have you arrested
for female harassment, you fool!
What's that Tiger
from the bank doing here?
- Tell him. I am your Tiger.
- What?
You are my Pooja.
Listen, you lizard.
Have you ever seen Tiger's picture?
Uncle, you should be ashamed.
Look at your age and her age.
She is like your daughter.
Not like my daughter!
She is my daughter.
- Aren't you Jagjeet?
- I am Jagjeet.
Who are you?
- Are you Jagjeet?
- Do you want to see my identity card?
- You are back?
- Yes, I am.
Why did you come back in your final days?
If you go out with Pooja,
people will say, "What a beautiful
father-daughter duo."
No one will call you Pooja's husband.
Listen, you idiot. Get lost.
Uncle, who is Pooja?
I don't know
which Pooja he is talking about.
Mister, I think you have
the wrong Jagjeet.
I am so sorry. My mistake.
- If you need a credit card, please call...
- Get out.
Get lost.
- Have some.
- It's okay.
Look, as soon as
you fulfill all my conditions,
only then will we start preparing
for the wedding.
Otherwise, Pari gets dozens
of proposals. Every day!
Let's go.
Mr. Goldie.
Sona bhai.
Sir, Hindi is not allowed here.
- So, Mr. Goldie.
- Yeah?
Your kids are very weak
in dance and English.
No, no.
They can be weak in dance,
but in English unpossible!
Wait a minute.
It's the future mother of my children.
Please talk in English.
Where are you?
I am kid's school. English medium.
Hindi no allowed here.
Even if Hindi isn't allowed,
who allowed this English?
So, to what do I owe this call?
- Sir.
- Yes?
No Hindi, please.
Pooja, talk.
A girl isn't safe even with you around.
Which girl?
Which ladies?
Me. Mrs. Pooja Saajan Tiwari.
Mrs. Pooja Saajan Tiwari?
Children, stop your ears.
Madam, how do you
say haraamkhor in English?
And what about Kanoon ki ijjat?
Honor of the law.
Who put hand on honor of law?
Some leech called Tiger
from Lena Dena Bank.
I see.
He's sending me such dirty messages,
that every now and then I have
to clean my phone with a disinfectant.
- That sister...
- Sir.
Hold, please.
Madam, how to say Tucche, behen
de takke and laundiabaaz in English?
Stop chewing my brains, you bloody moron.
You good for nothing fool!
Get lost, you wimp!
Wasn't it fun to abuse in Hindi?
It's not the same in English.
Dad. Dad.
You should drown yourself in booze.
My uncle Saajan Tiwari
aka Sona bhai,
the third husband of Aunt Jumani,
is having an affair
with sister-in-law Pooja.
Have you been drinking in the morning?
Will you believe me
when she bears his children?
My daughter-in-law is naive and decent.
That man is a bloody Forgive me, Lord.
Lord will forgive.
He's a rascal.
He certainly is!
At times he's with aunt,
at times he's with sister-in-law.
He is slowly trapping all
the women in our house.
Thank God, Mom is no more.
Or he would have become my father too.
Fear God, Son.
At least leave the dead alone.
On top of that,
Jumani keeps marrying such idiots.
One hell of a hobby!
See, children. This is the home
of your new father. Go on.
paint it, brother!
- Dad.
- Dad.
Oh, my!
My heart is restless without you
I am secretly waiting for you
Let them go. Let them breathe.
- Leave them.
- Oh, yes!
- Mom!
- Mom!
Ms. Jumani, you're here.
Don't be so formal.
It's been a while. Please, don't stop me.
I came here for an important discussion.
Say it.
I was thinking
of being pretty open about it.
Be as open as you want.
I am open to everything.
Secretly waiting for you
What do you think about me?
Like family.
Oh, my!
- Thank you.
- Welcome.
Actually, I've been married thrice.
But I could never find true love.
So, I came to talk
about marriage with you.
- Boys. Go play somewhere far away.
- Mom!
Far far away.
- Sit.
- Of course.
Even at this age, you bustle with energy.
This is just a trailer.
The film is on another level!
May God bless you with good health.
So, you have no objection
to this marriage?
I have no objection
to any kind of marriage or wedding!
And what about the age factor
Age is no restriction, nor is religion.
These talks are rubbish.
And children?
A few out of love are okay.
Otherwise, you already have two.
Good God.
We'll surprise Karam.
Son, where does Tiger Pandey live?
He wants to open his account.
He drowned along with
his entire family in the floods.
Sad news.
Why are you lying, brother?
You're the only Tiger Pandey
in the whole of Mathura.
But the name doesn't suit your body.
I am thinking of dropping Pandey.
Lose the Tiger.
I see.
Come here, you.
Fourth marriage?
You've married more times
than the rooms we have in this house.
Brother, maybe you don't remember.
During my third wedding
when we went to Ajmer, the wise man said,
"When I marry someone younger than me,
that marriage will last a lifetime."
If she gets divorced then Sona bhai
will come after sister-in-law Pooja.
No. No.
Jumani. It's wrong
to end any relationship like this.
Try to understand each other.
Sona is a good catch.
Don't dismiss him like that!
What if your next relationship
turns out to be worse than this?
They raise the glasses in the bar
Careful, old man.
Can't you spot the difference,
between young and old?
You seem familiar.
I am not God, I am a human being.
You must have seen me somewhere.
What brings you here?
I came here to talk about my divorce.
- And I came here to talk about my wedding.
- Wedding?
There is only one woman in this house,
who offers a buffet of marriages.
Who are you here for?
Greetings, son-in-law.
- Here comes bad luck.
- Hello.
- It's my good luck
- Him?
He is not with me.
He is on his own.
Who are you, sir?
I am Jagjeet Singh from Mathura.
- Jagjeet.
- Yes.
Shaukiya, take him inside.
- Come, I'll take you in.
- Yes, let's go.
I am self-dependent.
- Brother.
- Yes?
Quickly get done with him,
and then we'll discuss the wedding.
I see.
You are in a hurry to get married.
Planning a wedding without a divorce.
- Hey
- Who?
I am talking to you.
I found myself a new husband.
I see.
Excuse me.
Dad Dad?
What have you done to yourself?
Did you swallow a bat?
I've come to talk about marriage.
Whose marriage?
My marriage with Jumani.
Don't let love drive
you crazy again, Jagjeet.
It's not me.
That gorgeous lady is crazy for me.
This man ruined three years of my youth.
You're that flop picture
that I saw after the interval.
The first half is still a mystery.
- I'll bash him now!
- Jumani.
- You look for an excuse to touch me.
- Leave!
She came home, son.
She said she can't live without me.
You've lost your mind in old age.
You don't want to sign the divorce papers?
I'll get married without a divorce.
Pick up the phone sometimes.
until they don't get divorced,
she cannot get married.
And, we can't have any auspicious
ceremonies for six months, anyway.
Let's get engaged then.
You are quite fast.
If you don't have any problem,
then I don't have any objection.
Let Karmu arrive.
Let's do the ring ceremony first,
Karam can join us later.
Then who will I exchange rings with?
What are you saying?
How can the father-in-law exchange rings
with the daughter-in-law?
Father-in-law who?
Which daughter-in-law?
And why will she
exchange rings with Karam?
Who else will I exchange rings
with if not him?
Jumani, if you didn't want to marry me,
then why did you make those promises?
How could you even imagine such a thing?
I love Karmu
and I will only marry him.
Then why did you talk
about marriage with me?
I came to talk about
my marriage with Karmu.
Have you seen your age?
Age hardly matters, Jumani.
I promise I will lay all
the comforts of the world at your feet.
You don't have that long.
sometimes even if it's the last over
the batsman swings pretty hard.
I'll swing my arm so hard,
that you will never forget.
Pooja, tell your father to leave.
Don't cry, dear.
Don't cry, child.
It's not a recent tradition,
but one followed for many generations.
A father is always humiliated
at his daughter-in-law's house.
I am leaving!
Hello! Hello, Pooja, please don't hang up.
I am completely in love with you.
True love.
I love you!
What is all this?
Give me my phone.
Who is Tiger?
Tiger Shroff. Are you a little kid?
I am not talking about Jackie's kid.
Who is this Tiger Pandey
that's calling you?
Tiger Pandey.
Someone I know. Why should I tell you?
Why me?
It's about our family's honor, Pooja.
About my father's reputation.
You take money from us,
and have an affair with someone else.
You are yet to pay 10,00,000 rupees.
You will never get it, madam.
You call yourself my husband, right?
Then behave like one.
- Let's do it tonight.
- What
- Come on.
- Stay away.
Don't cross the line.
You never gave me any line.
Ravage this fruit orchard.
Destroy it.
Cover your orchard.
This Kiran will be Shahrukh's today.
- No.
- Yes.
- No, no!
- Yes.
Pooja, please!
Listen to me.
- I am listening.
- Please.
- Stop.
- What are you doing?
You must prove
that you are my real husband.
- What?
- Seems like my old love is back.
Look, I was joking.
Forget whatever happened
in the last couple of minutes.
It was a prank. There's the camera. Hi.
Stop kidding!
Listen to my heartbeats.
- This is no joke.
- Control.
- Control.
- I can't.
- Leave me.
- Listen
- Stay away.
- It will be okay.
- One arm's distance.
- I won't do anything.
I set out on my vehicle
On the roads and streets
I came to a turn
Where I lost my heart
I came to a turn
Where I lost my heart
What is this?
Hair fall! Hair fall!
So much?
Fake hair
Not just the hair, everything is fake.
And these too.
Have some vitamin C.
Myself Karam.
And Karam is Pooja.
Good Lord!
What have you done?
Sorry, buddy.
Now I get it.
The other night, when you fell in my arms,
that feeling
And the other day, when your hand
unintentionally touched mine,
that feeling
I knew it felt like a guy's touch.
Because you are not a girl,
you are a guy.
- Yes, bro.
- My God
That's what I like. Boys!
So, he's your love?
Good choice.
Why did you get married?
Dad loves me a lot,
and I love him.
I couldn't say no.
And a father's love
is the father of all kinds of love.
A child stays
in a mother's womb for nine months,
but forever on a father's conscience.
I cannot spend a lifetime in this house.
I've become so prone
to wearing a burka now,
yesterday when I ate kheer, I could
only get the milk and not the rice.
What do we do? Where do we go?
We don't have a choice, man!
What happened?
No, not over here. Go out.
Why is his phone unreachable?
Hey, Sakina.
Who is vomiting at this hour?
Wear your wig.
Otherwise, my father will die
of shock like my grandfather.
Daddy dearest.
There is no such thing as true love.
It's just a sham.
Absolutely right.
Jagjeet. Congratulations.
Congratulations to you, too.
But what are you congratulating me for?
With the grace of Allah,
Pooja is pregnant.
Pat pat him on the back.
What happened?
When did this happen?
We just found out.
Are you paying more money?
Forget money,
we'll give everything
we have to our daughter-in-law.
You should celebrate too, Jagjeet.
You are going to be a grandfather.
What happened?
Something that has never happened
in this universe before!
- Radhe-Radhe.
- Radhe-Radhe.
I am very happy today. Do pray.
Oh, yes.
First, at least know
who you should pray for.
Do tell!
My daughter-in-law is pregnant.
What is happening?
If your blank check gets en-cashed,
this is how you lose your mind.
Has a murder ever taken place
in your house?
Stop your father or there will be one.
Hey, mister. Get in line.
We've been waiting for a long time.
Get lost.
He is my son.
We are seeing this day
because of his hard work.
I'll always be grateful for the happiness
you've bestowed upon me today.
Dad, we need to talk.
Go ahead.
I've something to tell you, but
Tell me.
Pooja cannot get pregnant.
As in?
As in, I can't become a father,
she can't become an aunt.
You can't become a grandfather.
Him I don't know.
But you
No, no
Don't blame daughter-in-law
for your weaknesses.
It's not my fault. The doctors advised
her against it. Go tell them.
- Are you sure?
- I swear on my father.
Good Lord.
Bilal. Javed.
Take all the gifts back.
Make sure you count the cash.
But what happened?
Nothing happened, that's
why we're taking all the gifts back.
Please, leave.
I don't know how to tell you.
I thought I would become a grandfather
I wanted to tell you, but
- Leave.
- Tell him, Sakina.
- Dad. Let's talk about it.
- Dad
- Dad.
- Dad.
- Brother Shaukiya!
- Dad!
- Dad!
- Dad!
- Is he dead?
- Dad!
What is wrong with him?
Yes, tell him to stop drinking.
What happened to him?
What happened to my brother?
Brother is fine.
But what if something would have
happened to me because of your face?
Do you want a beating?
What happened to my brother?
I came straight from
the beauty parlor when I got the news.
Thank God, you're not coming
from the spa. Otherwise
Seems like he needs a beating, as well.
Someone, please tell me what happened!
He had chest pain. Almost a heart attack.
How? Why?
Pooja cannot have children. That's why.
Pooja can't have children?
Pooja. Come here.
Take a glass of hot milk.
Add some turmeric
We know the process.
Milk. Shilajit. We know.
Scientifically, she can't.
Where science ends, he begins.
Is this Baba House or the Parliament?
Who is spitting?
I told you, Dad.
People will spit on us.
It's not spit. It's perfume.
- Let's go.
- I am not going in.
What are you doing?
This is Dad's wish. We must fulfill it.
You have come too far in the act now.
A little more won't hurt.
She can't have a child.
It's okay, Pooja. We'll try again. Come.
She can have children! That too, twins!
This Baba is a fraud.
Absolutely right.
My innocent daughter is right.
When did you arrive?
On 20th February, 1956.
He isn't asking for your birth date.
Look, won't we both become grandparents?
No. No. Let's go.
- Yes, let's go.
- Come on.
Calling me a fraud?
All the children that you see here
Raju, Bittu, Vikki, Donor,
Sonu's Titu's Sweety
They all are a result of my treatment.
- The doctor said I can't have children.
- Yes, the doctor
I've blessed big doctors with little ones.
Look, we only want only one little one
I mean only one child. Only one.
Right, child?
These people are hellbent on getting
me pregnant, which is impossible.
Talk to your family!
Even I am tired of them.
I would move out
if I found a better family.
Pooja. Pooja.
I cannot take this anymore.
Then take the rollers off
and wash your face.
I wasn't talking about this.
I am talking about your brother Karmu.
He isn't answering my calls.
Tell him to talk to me.
Look, Auntie. Karam is my brother.
But he's a womanizer!
Sorry for my language. He's a big flirt.
He proposes to anyone.
He still has a couple of ongoing affairs.
You won't understand, Pooja.
Freelancers go from pillar to post.
And only those with
a permanent job stay in one place.
And anyway,
like a Pathaan once said,
"When you love someone with dedication,
the universe conspires to unite you two."
- One suggestion.
- What?
- Don't ever say this dialogue again.
- Why?
- If Shahrukh hears you
- Not me. The real one.
He won't be able to bear it.
I don't care.
If your brother doesn't come and see me
I will swallow poison and die.
Good God!
Judging by the clowns
your family is made up of,
you should put them
on display and sell tickets.
I understand. But you must meet her once.
If she dies, then What is the name
of your friend from Mathura?
Your brother-in-law. Smiley.
Yes. How embarrassing!
He and Sakina can never get married.
Smiley bro, are you feeling
restless without Pooja?
I don't, but Sona bhai does.
You sound as if he's pointing
a gun at your head.
Don't be stupid.
Sona bhai is a gem of a person.
He is a great guy. And he loves you a lot.
Am I right, Sona bhai?
Where are you?
Hi, Sona.
I am good. Just hold on.
Hello, Karmu.
Where have you reached?
Yes, Jumani. Get to Pappu's Diner.
Order some food. I will be there.
Yes, what were you saying?
Tell me when are we meeting?
I am busy right now. I'll meet you later.
Till then just chill.
We have to meet today.
I can't.
Pooja, look.
If you don't show up in 30 minutes,
then you'll have to let me know
where to send Smiley's dead body.
- Kill him.
- What are you saying?
I mean give him the phone.
- We're on speaker.
- Yes, we're on speaker. Go ahead.
I'm sending you the location. See you.
She is sending it.
How am I going to meet them both?
I'm doomed.
I know you want it
I like it like that
Pooja. Here
Is this any way to call someone?
Threatening an innocent Sikh man.
Yes, sister, I am deeply hurt.
Shut up.
Is this any way
to call anyone for marriage?
How much does your mobile weigh?
Around 300 grams.
Then why don't you pick it up?
Look, Pooja, why don't you understand,
I cannot live without you.
I live for you, die for you!
I'll live down your street!
Life without you is impossible.
Life is short.
This is not a game.
Deewane, Parwane, Khurrane.
I told you a dozen times
I am getting married to a guy.
What does the guy do?
He loves me a lot.
I didn't mean personally.
I meant professionally.
He is in CBI.
Scared you, right?
It even scared me that night.
CBI stands for Central Bank of India.
He's a cashier there.
You should tell the full form then. Right?
Correct. Correct.
It's so hot in here. AC is not working.
I feel repressed.
I must rush to the toilet.
Go on, sister.
Or you might just do it here.
Hello. Have you reached Pappu's Diner?
I already had half a dozen parathas.
Didn't like them at all.
I am at the cafe next door.
- Come here.
- Coming.
Two minutes.
This is the gents toilet.
- Ladies toilet is over there.
- Sorry.
I'm looking beautiful.
What is all this?
Is this the correct way?
You'll commit suicide if I don't come!
First, you took the sister,
and now you want the brother, as well.
Here's some advice, take my father too.
And end our family.
Your father?
He's a bad deal.
I want you.
I don't want you.
I love someone else. Her name is Pari.
I love her a lot.
Don't cry like that,
I won't be able to control my laughter.
What is it that I lack?
I'll WhatsApp you the entire list.
Right now, it's not you,
it's the place. Let's go to Pappu's Diner.
No, I don't want to go to Pappu's Diner.
Look around.
There are young people all around,
just like us.
It's time to go to the toilet.
How can there be a fixed time for it?
This is not like Swiggy or Zomato,
which arrives on order.
Hold it till tomorrow.
This is yesterday's!
She disconnected my call.
Excuse me.
One orange on that table.
Sure, ma'am.
Well, my job was to unite two love birds.
- I'll see you guys later. Okay, sister.
- Yes, leave.
Pooja, why do you have
a hand on your heart?
You hurt me so much,
that my heart on this side is aching.
I see.
Madam, your orange juice.
I asked for the fruit,
but you brought juice instead.
This is healthy as well, madam.
- Come on.
- Are you a dietician?
Just get what madam ordered.
Come on, out.
I have a small request.
If not me, think about my children.
How can they live without a mother?
If this was just an infatuation,
I would have cheated on him.
- But we are childhood sweethearts.
- Child
- Childhood?
- We used to play doctor-doctor together.
You know what doctor-doctor is, right?
Madam, we are out of fresh oranges.
Can I get you a watermelon?
Do you have anything smaller?
Madam, grapes?
So Narrow-minded!
That leaves us with bananas.
Shut up.
Get out!
- Toilet?
- I got to go.
Look, Pooja. Take ten minutes extra,
but finish your business this time.
Radhe-Radhe, Mr. Sona.
Radhe-Radhe. You are early.
Why did you suddenly call me here?
- Pooja isn't listening to me.
- Oh.
So I thought,
if one female speaks to another,
it will make a difference.
But where is Pooja?
Cake, sir.
Come on, stand up.
I was going to stand up anyway.
Close your eyes.
I won't.
Please do it.
I always wished to go down on my knees
and propose to my boyfriend.
I love you, Karam.
No woman should bow before any man.
Get up. What are you doing?
Have you lost your mind?
Yes, in your love.
Where are you?
I am with a client, on duty.
Do it properly.
Don't get fired from this job, as well.
Who was it?
It's time to go to the toilet.
Now you two must take three dips
in the Yamuna River.
Hold hands.
Not mine. Hold your wife's hand.
Now take God's name and go ahead.
You'll be successful. Okay?
- Go.
- Careful.
Dad, why travel all the way
from Agra to Mathura to take a dip?
- For the heir of the family.
- For what?
- One.
- One.
- Two.
- Two.
- Three.
- Three.
Good God
- Pooja.
- Pooja.
Dearest Sister-in-law.
- Baba, where's Pooja?
- Pooja!
Where is Pooja?
Pooja drowned.
My daughter has drowned.
Look for her!
- Pooja.
- Pooja!
Find her. Please, find her.
- Where did she go?
- Pooja!
Where did she disappear?
My daughter has drowned.
Not me. Find Pooja.
Uncle, careful! What are you doing?!
- Pooja!
- Pooja!
- Find her.
- Did you find her?
Dearest sister-in-law, my foot!
You killed her.
They killed her.
They killed Pooja.
For the sake of a child,
they took my daughter's life.
I had only one daughter.
I could have had another.
But an evil Surpanakha ruined my plan.
- Mom, who is this evil Surpanakha?
- Shut up!
Ladies and gentlemen, my countrymen
these three men killed my daughter.
I couldn't save you.
Look, what happened was an accident.
Even we are sad about Pooja's demise.
You're lying, old man.
Why is he carrying a belt?
Maybe he forgot to put it
on after hearing about his sister.
Who told my sister to bear a child?
So, you want me to utter his name?
Forget it. Let it go.
Have a big heart like
your big belt and forgive him.
It will give peace
to our daughter-in-law's soul.
That's the problem.
This wouldn't have happened
if you had treated her as a daughter.
Who took her to the Baba?
Where's the beauty queen of your family?
Beauty queen?
We have no such member in the family.
Idiot, your aunt.
There she is.
You took her to that Baba, right?
I swear on my children.
I always treated Pooja
as my elder sister
- and I have always helped her.
- Take this woman away.
I don't hit women.
You can hit her with the belt though.
Idiot. Do you want a beating?
But Karmu,
you said you don't talk to your sister.
Where is this love suddenly coming from?
I thought I'd speak to her today.
But my sister's life ended
before I could start a conversation.
You guys drowned my sister
in Yamuna and killed her, you rascals.
It's people like you
who inspire Crime Patrol episodes.
Daughter-in-law, dowry, children, murder!
And soon a web series will air.
"Revenge of my sister's death."
A brother beats his sister's in-laws
to death with his belt,
and sets the manor on fire.
And then he surrenders
at Agra police station.
Hey, you!
Don't mistake our silence
for our weakness.
Hey, you
I don't mistake you for anything.
See that's the problem.
The more you let these douches in,
the more harmful they are.
Pizza is better when served hot,
and brothers-in-law are better when calm.
I am Tiger Pandey from Lena Dena Bank.
Is this Pooja's house?
- Yes, it is.
- Pooja is no more.
No more? No
I am talking about Ms. Pooja.
36-24-36 curvaceous body.
- Where is she?
- Come here.
Aren't you ashamed
to describe a dead woman's figure?
Dead woman?
Pooja is dead?
She is my Pooja? So beautiful!
She died before we could meet.
- How?
- In the process of having children!
In the process of having children?
Tell me this is a lie.
Tell me that Pooja can't die.
- Sona bhai.
- Yes?
Sona bhai, I've been trying to tell you
- but you don't listen.
- What is it?
The signal from Pooja's number
is coming from here.
Right here.
Why do all my wives turn out from here?
What are you saying?
What was Pooja doing here?
You're asking this as if you don't know.
Weren't you after my daughter-in-law?
Pooja is your daughter-in-law?
People won't even curse him,
and you gave Pooja to him.
- It's him, right?
- Listen, you uncouth Uncle!
Pooja gave her life
to get you off her back.
Gave her life?
What will I do with this ring now,
when the one who was supposed
to wear it is dead?
Sona bhai, Pooja's phone is still active.
But Pooja is dead, isn't she?
Pooja is dead, not her phone.
By active I mean it's moving.
- Walking
- Show me.
I see!
Where were you?
Pari is getting married today.
Don't piss me off.
There's already a lot of chaos inside.
I swear she is getting married.
I am so unlucky. Pari is getting married?
Yes, she is. And she is doing it today.
Come with me. What are you waiting for?
Why are you here?
You're getting married?
Yes, I am getting married.
So, go away.
How can you do this to me?
Why? Who are you to me?
Why should I ask you
before getting married?
Your Karam.
You were mine. Not anymore.
Go be with the woman
that was with you.
Have you considered her age, Karam?
You are a creep!
That Jumani.
Man! It's a mess. Let me explain.
- I don't want to listen...
- Hear me out
I've heard enough, but not anymore.
I love you.
Don't. Please.
Now it's all about my family and my life.
Congratulations, Mr. Srivastav.
Your daughter's wedding
that too, on such short notice.
Did you have dinner?
- Yes, I did. The food was delicious.
- Thank you.
Keep the envelopes over there.
Let me show you.
Who turned off the lights?
Why's the power out?
In your love, my vagabond heart
Searches for its destination
I've crossed every boundary
To make you mine
In your love, my vagabond heart
Searches for its destination
I've crossed every boundary
To make you mine
Take my life
I can take my life
Hear me loud
If I find out anyone has touched you
I will die
I will die
What you couldn't imagine
Believe me, I'll do it
I will die
My Pooja is alive.
I couldn't stop thinking,
that my daughter-in-law drowned
in the water, for the sake of a child.
But she's prancing like a mermaid here.
I built a small abode in your heart
Wouldn't be right
If someone else dwells in it
Our names are written all over my heart
I adorned it with dreams for you
I can turn them into ashes, hear me loud
If you fall in love
With anyone else other than me
I will die
I will die
What you couldn't imagine
Believe me, I'll do it
I will die
If I find out anyone has touched you
I will die
I will die
It's easier to convince God
Than to convince your love
Day and night your memories are with me
Every night, you are all I talk about
Waiting for you on the path you tread on
If you marry anyone else other than me
I will die
I will die
If I find out anyone has touched you
I will die
I will die
Such a huge fraud!
We thought she was Shilpa Shetty,
but he turned out to be Suniel Shetty.
Now I remember
why your grandpa wrote on the wall
"Daughter-in-law boy."
Grandpa died due to this shock.
Good God!
Couldn't you find someone else in Agra?
That someone else is you!
I was the first one.
I checked every bottle in my bar.
But I couldn't check him.
This is where I put
my mom's surgery money.
He changed the time, situation
In fact, he changed the entire gender.
So there is no Pooja?
Only Karam exists!
I am worried for Shahrukh.
He might slip into depression again.
I won't be depressed.
I never was.
Karam is Pooja. And Pooja is Karam.
And I was already aware of this.
You were?
Why didn't you tell me?
Why would he?
He wanted a boy!
What is all this, Karam?
To show you the things
I did to make you mine.
I am still trying to make money.
From Karam I became Pooja.
back to Karam.
And all of you must
be thinking why I did it.
To fulfill his conditions.
But I couldn't succeed.
A house, a job, around
30,00,000 rupees in the bank.
That too, within six months.
We middle-class people can't spend
such a huge amount in six months,
then how can we earn it?
I couldn't fulfill your conditions.
But that's not why I am sad.
I am sad because,
I changed my gender
for the sake of my love,
and she didn't think twice
before marrying someone else.
Being a lawyer doesn't mean
you doubt your love.
If it was a one-time thing,
I would have never doubted you.
I saw you several times.
And the other day
I saw you hugging Jumani.
I saw you take the red rose.
And my suspicion was confirmed.
That's what I am talking about!
It's my bad luck.
I say one thing, people hear another.
Ms. Pari,
not everything you see and hear is true.
This drama I did,
was only for the sake of my love.
Who pretends to be a girl for his love?
You could be whatever you wanted.
Why become our daughter-in-law?
I instantly recognized
Ranveer Singh in a skirt.
But I couldn't recognize him.
Such a big fraud in the name of love.
I had never seen it until now!
I see.
How would you know what love is?
If you did, you would
love your children so much,
they would never miss their mother.
You just wanted a lover under
the pretext of giving them a mother.
And Jumani, treat relationships like EMI.
Keep paying the EMI on time,
otherwise, you'll get a breakup notice.
And you Lena Dena Bank.
You have no sympathy for the poor.
You'll never waive
off the loan of some poor man.
But a beautiful girl says a few words,
and you'll pay her loan from your pocket,
using the money kept
for your mom's surgery.
Shame on you.
Don't go on with dearest sister-in-law
Give her some respect.
Salim sir.
We wait for several years
for our child to start speaking.
But we don't listen when they do.
love is love.
And my love's father.
Uncle, everything I ever did,
I did it for my love.
For Pari's love.
For my dad's love.
For my friend's love.
But I couldn't succeed.
So neither you are wrong nor is Pari.
I could be wrong.
Karam, I thought you
and Jumani were having an affair.
I thought
I thought!
"I thought you will say sorry."
"I thought you will call me."
"I thought you will come to meet me."
"I thought you are cheating on me."
"I thought this I thought that"
This, "I thought" has screwed the world.
If you ever have doubts
about a relationship,
then clear it face to face.
It strengthens the bond.
So Ms. Pari, if you think
you'll be happier with this guy,
then go ahead.
I won't be the first guy,
whose girlfriend
will marry another person.
And uncle
never look down on lovers like us.
When the time comes,
we can go to great lengths.
No fun at all.
That's true!
You didn't like the snacks either?
It's the same song.
But uncle, why didn't they come by road?
Let's ask them.
I doubted you.
I am sorry.
You become everyone's dream girl,
won't you become mine?