Driver's Ed (2025) Movie Script

1
[upbeat music playing]
I wanna catch a
magic buzz radio play
And leave a kiss
on your face
Take my sacks and bag them
up and never put them away
Cause I know you're my babe
Put shit on my chest
when I act like a jerk
We could spend a
little time in the desert
We make a mess,
but we make it work
Let's spend a
little time together
They tell me love is
different in the modern age
[honking]
Idiot.
But it's all the same
They tell me love is
different in the modern age
Cause I'm already late
Cause I'm already late
Cause I'm already late
What's so important on
your phone, monsieur?
Oh, it's nothing.
I'm, I'm sorry.
Um... Bibliothque?
[class laughs]
Please read us what is on
Monsieur Jeremy's phone.
Um, do I have to?
Mhmmm
Okay, it's just a... it's a
text message. It's boring. [Evie
chuckles]
Go on...
[Student]: He's sext-texting.
[class laughs]
It says, "I Googled
lovesickness last night
and it's actually a thing.
Did you know that?"
"It's on WebMD. I miss you so
much. This is harder than I
thought it would be."
"Parentheses, that's
what she said."
[students chuckle]
"But seriously, when I
started thinking about when we
swam naked at the lake..."
[class gasps]
"...and now I'm in French
class with le boner."
"Haha, I love you. Let's
FaceTime at lunch."
And the rest is just emojis.
Lots of hearts and eggplants!
[students chuckle]
[electric guitar music]
Why didn't you just delete
it on your way to my office?
Sorry, I didn't
think of that. I...
This is like the first
time I've been in trouble,
except for obviously
the talent show last year.
Oh right, the talent show. Yeah.
How could I forget about the
talent show? I got a lot of
calls about that one.
Yeah. Well, you know, it's
really difficult to make an
emotionally truthful film
about gangsters
that isn't R-rated.
Um, I thought people
would appreciate the realism.
Do you?
Yeah.
That's what you think.
Do you have any kind of idea the
bullshit that I'm up against?
Do you think about that? Or do
you just think about yourself?
Cause I got problems, okay?
I got PSAT scores from last
year that are in the toilet!
I got the janitors threatening
to go on strike again!
I have ninth graders
walking around with weed
gummies like they're
Flintstone vitamins!
I am skating on thin ice
here, okay? My job's on the
line. It's stressful.
I don't have time to deal
with your bullshit! I'm busy!
Busy, busy! I have calls to
make! Things to do! One person,
okay?
Yeah.
Look, you're obviously
passionate. That's good. You're
probably a good kid.
But you're killing me man.
You cannot sext in the middle of
class. Do you understand?
Principal Fisher, have you
ever been in a long-distance
relationship?
That's private. I'm
not answering that.
Okay, well, um... off
the record, can I swear?
No, you can't swear.
Well, I mean you
just said bullshit.
I'm the principal. I can say
whatever the fuck I want.
Okay. Um...
So Samantha, my girlfriend,
just started at Chapel Hill.
And we decided that we
were gonna stay together.
Which is fine because I'm gonna
go meet her there in a year.
Oh.
The point is that I'm stuck
here. And it effing sucks.
I just can't stop thinking about
her. I don't know what to do.
Well, college is a big change.
Yeah. But, you know, you're
always the same person.
Well, no, actually you're
never the same person because
change is constant.
It's just part of growing up.
Yeah. I mean that's one take.
No, that's the right
way of looking at it.
Alright, listen. I'm gonna
give you detention next week,
Monday to Friday.
Here's your phone.
It was a victimless offense.
Get out of my office. I don't
want to hear it. Out! Get out!
Um, are you guys
getting service?
Yeah.
- Mmhmm
Cool.
Hey, you know, I'm sorry I
read that boner part out loud.
Oh no, I didn't have one.
What boner?
Uh, it was a text to
my girlfriend. Um...
Of your boner?
No. No, man. There was no...
Wait, you got a new
girlfriend already?
No, no. Me and Sam
are still together.
She's in college.
Is that even legal?
Yes.
Legal to fuck?
Why would it not be? I'm 18,
she's 18.
We're both...
everyone's 18.
Who the fuck is that guy?
Wait, is he coming here?
I hope not.
[grunting and struggling]
Hole in one.
- All right.
I'm Mr. Rivers. You
can call me Jesse.
Where's Mr. Cameron?
Oh, I don't know who that is.
I just go where they tell me.
Wait, you subbed World
History last year, right?
Yeah, probably.
Yeah, you showed us
Gladiator even though
we were supposed to
be studying World War I.
Oh yeah! Great flick.
You're welcome.
This is just a side gig by
the way. I'm actually writing a
novel.
What happened to your arms?
Oh, I fell down an escalator
going up at the mall.
Whew! Do not recommend.
Why did they set them
in that position?
I don't know. I was asleep.
By the time I woke up, I was a
little teapot.
Oh.
All right buddy, focus
up. Hands 10 and 4.
Wait, isn't it 10 and 2?
10-2, 10-3, 10-10. It's just
numbers. Do what feels good, you
know.
Follow your heart. And
the rules of the road.
Let's go. Okay.
Okay, now keep...
okay, no, no, no.
Slow down. It's okay. Slow down.
Great. You're doing really well.
Now just press the start.
You don't have to hit the brake.
Use both feet. You're
just using one foot.
Okay, no no no
All right, go left here.
Or go that direction.
You're crushing it man. You're
a natural driver. Very good.
So, what are a bunch of
seniors doing in driver's ed?
Um, well, I divorced my
entire friend group this summer,
so I don't really have
anyone to give me a ride.
Ah, their loss.
Well, if I'm gonna create a
prototype of the solar car
I've
been developing,
I'm gonna need to know
how to drive it.
Solar car, go you!
I failed this class three
semesters in a row.
This is your year amigo, I
can feel it. Give me a bump.
Ow! Oh!
What about you, Slim?
Oh, um... my
girlfriend, you know,
she used to drive me everywhere.
- [agrees]
She already has her license.
Used to. She cut you loose, huh?
Oh, no, no, no. She's at
college. We're making it work.
Ah, yeah. Living on borrowed
time, my man. I'm sorry.
It's gonna hurt, but you
will grow from it, okay?
Oh my god, look at this
asshole going 15 in a 30.
At that point just get out
and walk! Honk the horn!
I thought we were only
supposed to honk the
horn if it was like to
warn of imminent danger?
Yeah, I'm in imminent danger
of dying of old age in this car.
Honk the horn!
[honks]
There you go buddy, see? There's
a lot of gray areas in driving.
Life too, you know.
You can't drive scared.
Cowards die a thousand
times. Brave men die one time.
That's a quote.
Actually it's "Cowards
die many times before their
deaths; the valiant never
taste of death but once."
It's Shakespeare.
Yeah, his shit is so tight.
[phone buzzes]
You're not supposed
to text and drive.
He's at a stop sign, it's fine.
Um, Evie, can you read
this for me? Please?
Please? Thank you.
Um, it says "Can't FaceTime
at lunch. Let's talk later."
Ooh.
That's it?
Yeah.
There's no like... no
emojis or anything?
Nothing else?
- No.
[crash]
Whoa!
- Fuck!
You just hit that car!
It's okay, you just grazed it.
That's called a Carolina
kiss. Keep driving.
That's sick.
Don't look back. Never look
back. Unless you're in reverse.
And even then use the mirror.
Been burning it hot
Been looking
all over for you
[knocking]
What?
Did you eat?
Um, yeah, yeah. I
had some cereal.
Can I come in?
Yeah.
School called today.
What did they call about?
Honey, I know you miss her. But
you can't let it ruin your life.
She's the best thing in my
life. I mean shouldn't we be
celebrating that?
Oh no. I don't think we
should be celebrating a week of
detention. You know?
Sorry.
No, it's fine. I get it.
What are you working on?
It's a script.
It's about a female undercover
narcotics agent at a high
school who uh, you know,
may or may not be a cannibal
and she finds out
that the principal is in
bed with the cartels
selling to the students.
I'm gonna, you know, I'm
writing it for Sam. She's gonna
be in it.
And uh, we'll shoot it over
winter break. Unless she goes
skiing with her parents.
Um, maybe there could
be less cursing in this one?
There's food downstairs
if you want it. I love you.
Okay, love you.
[phone buzzing]
Sam? Hey.
How are you doing?
I might be drunk.
Thursdays are like Fridays
here. And Wednesdays are like
Thursdays.
Why are you whispering?
I'm stuck in a hallway. Dakota
has another guy in her room.
She's an incredibly sexual
person. That's a direct quote.
Zero shame.
She just has like a
really powerful sense of
intuition. It's like a
psychic gift I guess.
I don't know. She
grew up in Santa Fe.
I miss you.
I know
What?
I just... I wish
you wouldn't say it.
It makes me feel bad
and I can't fix it.
You don't have to fix it.
Look... it's hopeless. You know?
I mean you know that, right?
What? No, what? What
do you mean it's hopeless?
[man screams]
Whoo! Heels!
That guy was just naked.
Jesus Christ. It's like
the Wild West over there.
His balls were incredibly
long. I think he has like a
medical condition.
Um, wait, why did you
say it was hopeless though?
Come on. You know
it is. I mean...
You want everything to be the
way that it used to be. But it
can't.
You just can't see that because
you're there and I'm here.
Look Sam, I think we just
need to see each other. You know
what I mean?
Like Homecoming is only
17 days away and...
I can't come home
for Homecoming.
What?
I just left. I mean it would
be weird.
Nobody goes home for
Homecoming.
Everybody goes home
for Homecoming.
It's called Homecoming.
That's the whole
point.
Look, it's not our fault. And
it's gonna break our heart but
we'll be okay.
Are... are you
breaking up with me?
[man screams]
Naked guy's back.
I gotta go, okay?
Dude, what's wrong with your
balls? [phone disconnects]
[soft background music playing]
[groans]
[groans] Good morning.
Beautiful day for a drive.
Ah, fuck!
Left my coffee by my skateboard.
- [engine starts]
Oh no, I'll go get it.
[groans]
[car door closes]
Yeah!
- Perfect!
Fuck it.
[tires screeching]
Whoa whoa whoa! Stop!
What the fuck are you doing?
Guys! No!
You can't drive without me!
Jeremy! What the fuck?
-Stop!
Stop the car!
[tires screeching]
What's going on, dude?
Love that turn signal!
Now you're getting it!
Okay, just uh, turn
around, take the next right.
Dude, whatever this
is, it's awesome.
That was the turn!
Okay, just everybody
stop yelling!
You're the only one yelling.
Oh my god, what is this?
What is this round thing?
This is a roundabout.
Drivers always yield to
motorists already in the
roundabout.
Also it's right in front
of the high school.
What do I do?
Use your blinker.
You're gonna have to find
where you want to get out of it.
Alright?
Okay, where?
Now! Let him go!
Get out! Get out!
All right, dude. Nice.
Oh my god. What the
fuck is happening, Jeremy?
I'm gonna drive to Chapel
Hill to save me and Samantha's
relationship, okay?
What?
Yes. I, you know, she almost
tried to break up with me last
night, I think.
I'm not really sure. Maybe
she didn't mean to. You know,
she was really drunk.
Oh my god, when you're
drunk, you're more honest, okay?
I don't think so. I don't know.
Watch out!
[tires screeching,
horns honking]
Oh my god! You just
ran a stop sign!
No, he didn't.
He ran a red light.
Look, if you don't pull over
right now and let me out,
I'm
calling the police.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
You don't need to call
the police.
It's okay.
I promise I will pull over
as
soon as we're far enough away
from school, huh?
This is a terrible
idea. It's super...
not in a good
way... melodramatic.
It's psycho.
It's giving...
like super desperate, you know?
And desperation...
it's not attractive.
Okay, I'm not desperate.
I'm... inspired.
Okay, send flowers!
I don't know!
No, flowers are
generic and corny.
If guys only knew how
good it felt to get flowers.
Nobody sends us flowers.
Exactly. He's right. Thank you.
Whatever. It really doesn't even
matter because love is bullshit.
Love is bullshit?
Basically.
Who says that?
Do not do this. All right?
I fucking have to!
Okay? I fucking have to.
I'm sorry.
- Pop off, king!
Yes.
[groans]
So you're sure that he
was the one driving?
Not really. My arm
pills make me fuzzy.
What about that kid,
um, Yoshi Shibuya?
I mean, he is the school drug
dealer after all. I just can't
prove it.
Yoshi's a drug dealer?
Yes.
Like what kind of
drugs are we talking?
The illegal kind.
So what happened to you?
Oh, freak pickleball accident.
What?
I was at the net. I
jumped up for a volley.
Both my feet got stuck in the
net.
I see the ground coming
towards my face...
Boom!
Next thing I know,
I'm in the hospital.
What's the situation?
My driver's ed car
got hijacked, sir.
How many hostages?
Three.
No, this isn't a hijacking.
This is kids fucking around.
What happened was the
car was left unattended
by our substitute
driving instructor.
I'm primarily a writer.
How long they been in the wind?
Um, maybe like 10 or 20 minutes.
We need to establish a
perimeter with checkpoints on
all major roads.
No one gets in and out of
this town without us knowing
about it.
Have you contacted
law enforcement?
No. No way. And I'm not
going to. I mean, not yet.
Why?
Because if this gets out,
all of us are gonna
have shit on our faces.
Do you understand?
Officer, can I ask you one
question? Before you were
fired...
is there anyone in the state
police that you have
a trustworthy relationship
with?
Yeah, my ex-partner.
She's true blue.
Good. Okay, so
give her a call...
and explain to her that it's
a yellow Kia covered in driver's
ed signs.
Hey, hey. Be nice to them,
okay? They're good kids.
What? They are not good kids.
They're brats. Just scare the
hell out of them. I don't care.
Do whatever you gotta
do, just get them back here.
Because I am not letting
three dipshits and the
valedictorian...
fuck me out of tenure.
I'm not doing it. No way.
Not happening, bros.
What the fuck happened to you?
My car got stolen. I
literally just told you.
[Music playing]
I'm calling an Uber.
Jeremy.
Just please don't tell anyone
where I'm going, all right?
Okay, what do I tell them then?
I don't know. Tell them I'm
having a manic episode or
something.
Yeah, that's actually
probably true.
Jeremy.
What?
How are you so sure about this?
Like about you and her and
this epic love story of yours?
Tell me one thing. Anything.
Okay, you remember my short
film that won the talent show
last year?
The mafia thing?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. "Come Heavy".
Sorry, there's just no world
where that doesn't sound like a
porn.
No, dude, it means like
come with a loaded gun.
That still sounds like a porn.
Anyway, I wrote it for her.
You know, I write
everything for her.
And uh, "Come Heavy"
was like my "Goodfellas".
But because of her, I was
like, why are these movies
always about dudes?
And so instead of being just
like this stereotypical
girlfriend character...
she's the lead of the movie.
And now it's something special.
Right?
No doubt.
I voted for you.
Really?
The point is, she
inspires me, all right?
And basically
everything I do is either
inspired or made better
by her being in my life.
Like, she fucking
got me this jacket.
Because I love Wes Anderson
and Wes always wears a jacket on
set.
And so the night before we shot
"Come Heavy", she was like...
"Here, here you go."
She just gave it to me.
Because she knew me. You know?
So it's like, I wouldn't
be myself without her.
Or at least I wouldn't be the
same version of myself. So...
if I lose her...
I don't know. What am I?
Fuck it.
Let's do this.
Do what?
I'm coming with.
Dude.
Dude.
This is more of like a...
this is a solo mission.
I'm coming too.
Yes.
What? No.
I thought you said that this
is a terrible idea
and that love is bullshit.
Well, it is, but um... you are
gonna do it anyways, right?
What about your parents?
Well, my parents are on a
second honeymoon
so they don't get divorced...
so I don't think
that'll be a problem.
Yeah, my dad is
emotionally checked out.
Oh, no, no. No. Absolutely not.
No.
Okay, you gotta come, right?
Why?
- Because we all are.
No. No. No way.
Can you try to live in
the moment for once?
Look, no, I... I have an
orchestra concert on Sunday.
Who gives a shit?
I do! I'm first chair viola!
Seriously. You should come.
Yeah.
Guys...
You really don't have to come.
I really appreciate it,
but it's... I'm good.
Dude, stop. Okay?
You're welcome.
It's gonna be 164 miles
from here to Chapel Hill.
Okay, that's like
two and a half hours.
It's probably more like three
because we're gonna have to take
the back roads.
That's nothing. It's
like a day trip.
It's Grand Theft Auto.
You're thinking
about the wrong shit.
What's the worst
that can happen?
Uh, we get arrested? Expelled?
Teddy San Chen becomes
valedictorian...
and I lose my climatology
fellowship at MIT?
Aparna, what's the point
of making the world a
better place if you're not
gonna have any fun in it?
Huh?
Huh?
Right?
Come on.
Put it there.
Thank you guys.
I'm counting this as
my senior skip day.
Um, actually, we're gonna
have to probably do something
about all of... this.
[Music playing]
Hey, dude.
You don't have any
drugs on you, do you?
What do you want?
No, dude, seriously. We can't
have drugs in the car, man.
Word.
Do you have drugs on you?
Dude, you think I'd be dumb
enough to bring drugs to
driver's ed?
Hey Jer, how fast are you going?
55 on the dot.
Nah, 55 is sus, okay? You
need to be going at least 5
miles over.
Yeah, yeah, too perfect
looks sus, dude.
That's why you're sus.
Yeah, it's kind of like uh,
going into too much detail when
you're lying.
Yeah, when I'm lying I say
yes, no, or I got diarrhea.
You know, "I have my
period" works on gym teachers.
Yeah.
Yeah, but diarrhea
works for everybody.
[siren wails]
Cop! Cop! Cop! Cop! Cop! Cop!
It's all good.
Oh my god. She's gone.
Am I the only one who
almost shit their pants?
[on phone] Uh-huh.
Okay.
Yeah, well keep me posted.
Hey, appreciate
you. Stay frosty.
False alarm on a Kia Soul.
Young male driver,
no passengers.
So she didn't pull him over?
Negative. No
driver's ed signage.
God dammit!
There is something we could do.
Not sure it's
completely legal, but...
Let's do it! What is it?
No, you know what? Never mind,
never mind. Forget I said it.
What? Why'd you bring it up?
- What is it? What is it?
Why'd you bring it up?
- Tell us!
Do you have their phone numbers?
Well, of course
we do. It's a safety
measure. You're the
one in charge of safety.
I have a spyware program
I got off the dark web.
We can use their phones
to pinpoint their location.
Has Samantha ever
mentioned a Noah?
He's like... lowkey
all over her Instagram.
Um, I don't think so. Why?
He's liked every post
since September 9th.
Yeah.
Is she in any of his
pics or anything?
No. No. She's not.
Right.
Yeah, because look, you know,
we really trust each other.
Like we always have each other
on Find My Friends, you know?
Except last night I like, I
couldn't see where she was,
but I think it's just because,
you know, her phone was dead...
or whatever. There's a
million things that could...
That sounds like a red flag.
Also, I mean, she could
be using decoy drops.
Decoy drops? What?
Yeah.
Before my friend broke
up with Amanda Pastanko...
and everyone else,
we would do this thing...
we would drop our phones
off in Joyce Burke's mailbox...
and then we would tell our
parents we were sleeping
there...
and then just go
wherever the party was.
Gangster.
Okay, so we're
here. That's them.
Huh. What about that other dot?
Uh, nothing. It's a
woman from Tinder.
Hey, while we're here, could
you track my ex-fiancee on that
thing?
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah?
Okay, Walsh, I
need you to focus.
I need you to get out on that
road and go find them. Like,
now.
Well, I took the bus here.
What?
Car wouldn't start.
It's a piece of shit.
All right, well then take his
car. This is all his fault
anyway.
I rode my skateboard here.
What are you, 15?
I can't move my arms.
Plus my car's in the shop.
Oh my god. All right,
fine. You can take my car.
It's a red Porsche. It's in
the teacher's parking lot.
A Porsche?
Porsch-e.
Sick. I'm on it.
Okay, buddy. Lucky you.
Woo! You have a Porsch-e?
Uh-huh.
How much do you make?
That's none of your business.
It's a lease, okay? I get a bump
when my tenure comes through.
Are you guys hiring?
No.
[Music playing, engine revving]
Wait. Wait, if you and Sam
follow each other's locations...
did you make sure
to turn yours off?
You didn't, did you?
Oh my god, where is your phone?
It's right here.
It's right here.
Oh my god. Our phones. They
can... they can track us by our
phones.
You think they thought of that?
Of course they thought
of it! They're the police!
The question is, how
did we not think of it?
Uh, I thought about it a
while ago, but I forgot to say
anything.
What?
Well, okay, game over.
I mean, they probably know
exactly where we are right now.
Goddammit!
Fuck!
Wow, I didn't realize you
actually cared about not getting
in trouble.
Oh, no, I don't. No, it
just feels good to yell.
Wait. Wait, I know.
Guys, we should decoy
drop our phones.
Right?
Yeah.
Oh yeah. You know, we could hide
them in the tank of a toilet.
Like uh, Michael
Corleone in The Godfather
I haven't seen that.
Yeah, me neither.
What?
This doesn't make any sense.
Okay, so, their phones
stopped over there, right?
But that's the
middle of nowhere.
They're all at the
Linville River. Hmm.
Are you guys ready to do this?
Thanks.
Need your phone.
Wait, whatever, whatever.
Just please be super careful.
I am.
- Seriously.
Okay, I'm just gonna...
- Go slow.
I'm just gonna aim it
right here. It will land
and then on our way
back we'll come get it.
Okay, just...
- Ready?
Fuck!
Shit.
- No!
No, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no! - Shit.
Shit. What does that mean?
Maybe they tossed
their phones in the drink?
So you're telling me that
four teenagers voluntarily
destroyed their phones?
You cannot be serious right now.
This was such a stupid idea.
We could have like put it in a
bush!
She was talking
about decoy drops!
And then he was saying
the toilet tank stuff, you know?
So I was thinking
about water and shit.
Oh my gosh. God, I can't
believe this is happening.
Alright, I'm sorry. Let's
just keep going, okay?
No, you don't understand.
I have never not had my phone.
Never! Ever!
I feel naked!
It's fine.
That's on you.
Anyway, you could put your
clothes back on so we can get
back on the road?
Okay. Let's just. Let's just
go. - Even looking at
you. I don't know.
That's it. I'm driving.
Naked?
Motherfucker got fucked
up cause he got in the way
All right, I get it, okay?
I'm the bad guy on this one. I'm
sorry.
What, everybody's perfect? Is
that it? Nobody's fucked up
accidentally?
I should have never come
on this ridiculous excursion.
Well, you didn't have
to, okay? No one did.
It's a suicide mission.
Yeah, probably.
Can you guys give the kid a
break, okay? Takes a lot of sack
to be this vulnerable.
Thank you.
Okay, so, what, Jeremy?
You imagine you and Samantha
being like one of those
creepy evangelical couples that
get married when they're 22?
No, Evie, not the way
you're describing it.
What's your body count, dude?
Ew, what?
- Gross.
Mine's zero. Does that make
everyone feel more comfortable?
Not really.
Look, I do worry about you
going into a marriage where both
parties
have such a limited range
of sexual experiences.
Come on, have some fucking
faith, all right? My parents
got married right after
college. They're still together.
Are they even happy?
I don't think mine are either.
Yeah, well, my dad cheated on
my mom with their couples
therapist.
Is that allowed?
I'm sorry. That really sucks.
Love doesn't last. It's
just like any other feeling.
Nihil aeternum est.
I don't know what that means.
It's Latin.
It means nothing lasts forever.
[car honks]
Aparna!
[tires screeching]
Dude!
Oh my god. Oh my god. I
don't know what just happened.
Uh, you just crashed the car.
Well, no, I don't know.
I mean, it's technically
not a crash if you
didn't hit anything, right?
I never space out like that.
I have high-performing
hyper-focus ADD.
What do they got you on?
Strattera?
Oh, you should think about
adding Ritalin to the mix. Yeah,
I can hook you up.
I got Wellbutrin.
Yeah, I'm on Wellbutrin.
For anxiety or depression?
I don't know. I
think maybe both?
Wait, so Evie,
are you depressed?
Literally everyone is depressed.
[car honks]
Maybe I'm the worst driver.
Uh, fuck yes, you are.
Time for a switch.
[Humming along to music]
[phone ringing]
Go for Walsh.
Okay, we lost them. But I'm
gonna ping you on their last
coordinates.
It looks like a river or
a bridge, I don't know.
You think they jumped?
No. I don't know. Just get
there. Get your ass there now.
Copy that.
Holy shit. You guys see that?
What?
63 miles to Chapel Hill.
That's like less than an hour.
Oh shit.
A lot less, the
way you're driving.
Uh, I could use a bathroom break
if anyone else needs to stop.
Shouldn't we tell
Jeremy about the photo?
No, I don't think it would help.
But yeah, maybe it was
just a drunken kiss.
No. No, Aparna,
it's still cheating.
I mean, he would just say
that he forgives her and it
wouldn't be true,
but he would believe
it for a while.
What about your mom? Don't you
want her to forgive your dad?
Um, I mean, I guess if it
would make her feel better.
You know, I like the way
you do your eyes. It's subtle.
Thanks.
Yeah.
Will you do mine?
Okay.
- Okay.
Here.
Look down.
A lot going on with this kid,
huh? He contains multitudes.
Kind of reminds me of myself
actually. He's idealistic,
complex, sensitive.
A real romantic. He's
probably going to see his
girlfriend. And I get that.
That's it! You figured
it out! He's going to her!
Hey Patty! Could you call down
to our idiot guidance counselor
and find out where Samantha
Pierce is going to college?
No, no, no, scratch
that. I'm probably way off.
I mean, they've never
even driven on the interstate.
They're probably just at
Bojangles eating some Bo-Berry
biscuits.
Should we order food?
[phone ringing]
Walsh.
They're headed to Chapel Hill.
For love.
Yeah, and you know what?
This has gone on far enough.
So I am calling the local
police and they will be waiting
for them.
Negative. You gotta
give me this one.
News flash, we're all gonna
be in trouble here. Do you
understand?
You call the cops, you
lose control of the narrative.
So what's in it for you?
It's a long shot, but might
get me back on the force.
Oh. He is not getting back
on the force. Give me a break.
I can't believe I'm asking
you, but what do you think? Tell
me the truth.
I think we're asking
the wrong question.
I think the right question is,
what are we doing to these kids?
I mean, so much of school is
no. Don't do that. Learn math.
Think about your future.
But don't dream too big.
Don't become a writer.
You're bad at it. You'll be
poor. It's not gonna work out.
Are we the adults
in the room? Yeah.
But should we forget what it was
like to be young and reckless?
I don't think we should. I think
this is our chance to say yes.
I say we call off the heat.
Let the kid shoot his shot.
All right, fine. Okay, call
your girl. Make sure she knows
this operation is off the
books and bring 'em home.
Roger that. You will not regret
this. [phone disconnects]
Yeah, I don't know how
we got on this road.
I don't even think this
road's on this map.
Actually, I think we're here.
No, that's a river.
Well, it looks like a road.
Then why is it blue?
Guys, we don't have time to
get lost right now, okay? We
gotta figure it out.
Have you ever tried to look at
a map that's not on a screen?
Yeah, man, we're
not cartographers.
You know, I think that,
um, we might almost be out
of gas. I think that's what
that light means, right?
How long has it been on?
A while.
Fucking why the shit
didn't you say something?
Cause fucking I
didn't want to panic!
Evie, we passed a gas
station like two miles back!
Okay, well I didn't
see it! I don't know!
How would you not see
it? I don't understand.
Cause I was keeping
my eyes on the road!
Oh my god! Watch out animal!
[cat shrieks]
Oh shit.
[cat meows]
You knocked the
fucking cat's leg off.
Okay, I didn't even hit
him. He looked okay.
Except his fucking leg is gone!
Maybe it was just a
three-legged cat, I don't know.
There he is. He's in the tree.
We need to call animal
control or the fire department.
Fuck no. They put
'em in a cell, okay?
I got this.
Oh, I can't watch. Please.
Yoshi!
- Dude, dude. Don't fall.
Yeah, I'm fine, okay?
I feel like there has to
be a better way to do this.
Be careful, okay?
Yeah, I'm good. I'm
just gonna shimmy out.
Hey. Little guy. You're okay.
Hey, I'm coming to get you.
What are you doing?
Filming you, dude. It's
a fucking awesome shot.
Uh, how do I look? I look good?
Yeah, dude. Looking good.
Oh my god.
Are you okay?
I don't know.
[cat meows]
Hey!
Oh, you did it!
I saved you!
Man.
-Hey.
You have no idea how
good of a shot that was.
Yeah.
- Sick.
Cool.
Hey, you alright? I'm
gonna love you right up.
Hey, can we all agree that
he's mine? I really need this.
What are you gonna name him?
Tripod.
Yeah, cause of the three legs?
Yeah, no, everyone gets it.
All right, Evie. Looks
like we're going for a walk.
That's awesome.
Hey, we're only going
to the gas station, man!
Hey, seriously, I am, I'm
sorry about that whole gas gauge
thing.
Everything's going wrong.
Yeah, well, you don't really
have to go through with this.
Are you just saying that
or is that what you think?
I mean, just tell me
what the fuck you think
because I'm sick of like...
- Strategically or personally?
What? Both.
Well, strategically, I really
think you should go home.
Like don't call her, don't
text her, don't Snapchat her,
like just go silent.
Cause she broke up with
you. You know that, right?
Well, that's... that's unclear.
Okay, well what if you
don't get in next year?
If I don't get in?
I have a 3.8 GPA.
Okay, I won best short film in
the state media fair last year.
And one of the Safdie
brothers watched it, you know?
Or at least I think he did.
What's your big
plan, cool guy? Huh?
Um, applying to the
School of Visual Arts.
Oh, in New York?
Yeah.
And I'm also applying to a
bunch of safeties that suck.
Safeties that suck? No, no,
no, you have to go to New York.
Are you kidding me?
You could go to fucking Soho
to see where they shot After
Hours and Basquiat.
And Times Square, even though
it's super fucking touristy,
they have all the places
where they shot Taxi Driver.
And Wall Street for
The Wolf of Wall Street.
And the Royal Tenenbaums
house, you know? You
know what I'm talking
about? The big old house.
The big old house. -
You've been to all of those
places?
No, I've never been
to New York, but...
I don't know, I mean I could
fucking, I could visit you. I
could.
Okay.
And I mean I would actually.
I would visit you because...
Martin Scorsese teaches at
NYU. And I could go to his
office hours.
Martin Scorsese teaches at NYU?
Yeah, I mean, you know,
maybe he's not there
every semester, but
he's for sure around,
like, in New York. -
Jeremy, you apply there,
right?
You want to be a filmmaker,
you don't think maybe like you
should apply to some schools
that have film schools?
- Look, you don't have to go
to film school
to be a filmmaker anyway.
You are so fucking frustrating!
It's complicated! There's
a car. There's a car.
Stop! No!
Please!
Yes!
Thank you! Thank you!
Y'all alright?
Hey, should I be worried that
my new cat's sleeping all day?
Dude, it's a cat.
That's what they do.
Yeah, I just hope it doesn't
have mono or something.
What? He doesn't have mono.
You know, that's a really
cool necklace. It looks pretty
in the light.
Yeah, thanks.
Is that drugs?
Yeah.
What the fuck? You said you
didn't have anything. You
fucking lied!
It was a lie of omission.
Not when you say it!
Can you just be cool? Okay,
you used to be so fucking cool.
You used to be so fucking smart.
Oh, look at you.
Sorry about the temperature. We
gotta keep it cool for the furs.
But you stay bundled up like
that, you gonna be nice and
toasty.
Hey, honeys.
- Look at that.
Don't he look like a young
Joe Namath in that beaver?
Yes, he does.
And trust me, Joe knew beaver.
Mmhmm. The chinchilla looks fab.
Hey!
- Sure does.
We also have a matching
bra and panty set.
And it's a live stick of
dynamite in the bedroom, trust
me.
She ain't lying about that.
No I ain't.
I promise you.
Well, we're letting the cool
air out, so we're gonna boogie.
Let's go.
Alright.
Give her a tug, sweetie.
Attagirl.
Well, this is how we die.
I'm sorry. [Jeremy chuckles]
What?
Well, it's weird, like
we've known each other
basically our whole lives. I
mean, at least tangentially.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You know, I remember when we
were in sixth grade, you did a
presentation on Norway.
And you showed all these
pictures of seals. And brought
in like a stuffed fur seal.
And the whole thing was just
about seals. It had nothing to
do with Norway.
You know, I remember you
puked on your desk and then
you made all the kids around you
puke too. You remember that one?
Yeah, I do.
Yeah, thanks for reminding
me. That was one of the worst
days of my life.
I remember you gave me a
Valentine on Valentine's Day.
Yeah, I gave one to literally
everybody. My mom made me.
You thought that
was just for you?
Oh my...
I don't know, you know...
You thought that I had a crush
on you when we were eleven?
I was just confused because
you basically never talked to me
and then suddenly...
Okay, well you never
talked to me either.
Well, that's because you were
way more popular. There's a
pecking order.
Okay, well, you had
a glow up, so...
Well, so did you. Not that
you needed one, you know.
[tires squeal]
Oh shit!
Are you okay?
Yeah.
Y'all okay? This
road's a little twisty.
Yeah. Yeah, man. We're all good.
Hot damn, the furs are working!
Okay.
Um, do you mind if I ask you
a question that might sound a
little bit mean?
Yeah, sure. That
sounds awesome, man.
Don't you think that
maybe you're just
a little too young to be so
serious about Samantha?
No.
But obviously you do.
I don't know, I just
think there's like a
difference between love
love and teenage love.
It's like a coming of age thing.
It happens to everybody.
So if it's happened to you,
how can you just write it off?
Well, I was like fifteen.
You know, he did cheat
on me, also, so...
I'm sorry.
It's okay. People let each
other down all the time, so.
Aren't you just saying
that because your dad is
cheating on your mom
with the couples therapist?
Everyone lets each other down.
Evie, uh...
That seems like an
exhausting way to live.
You know what I want?
Just once, I just want
someone to surprise me.
What I tell you? Fur is
one hell of an aphrodisiac.
Nature's Viagra.
Yep.
Come on down, sweetheart.
Come on.
Careful!
- Grab my hand.
Come on, I'll help you out.
There you go!
- Thanks.
Be careful.
There you go.
Well, thanks so
much for everything.
Whoa, whoa.
Son. [whistles]
This coat was made for you.
I will say, it is
pretty sick, man.
How much is it actually?
Twelve hundred. But I
could do eleven for you.
You know, I got like maybe
ninety bucks in my Venmo.
Well, we do have faux fur. Every
bit as good as the real deal.
That song 'Perfect' by Ed
Sheeran was playing and
you were hanging with
some assholes from
orchestra or whatever
and I'd asked you to dance.
Yeah, you laughed at me.
I have no memory of that.
It's whatever.
So I went into the bathroom
to hide until the song was over
and...
Wes Bird and fucking Jamie
Weeda looked over the stall
divider thing
and saw me and went outside
and told everyone I was
basically taking a shit.
I wasn't taking a shit.
It doesn't matter if you were.
On God, I wasn't taking a shit.
Okay, okay. Fine.
I was crying.
I'm really sorry.
It's okay, yeah.
Who gives a crap about a seventh
grade dance anyway, you know?
I literally almost
never think about it.
Wait, is that why you
quit the science club?
Wow.
No, Aparna, I didn't quit
science club 'cause you wouldn't
dance with me.
Well, I mean, you
quit everything.
Yeah, I'm a pretty good quitter.
Orchestra.
Competitive Minecraft.
Yeah.
Coding club.
I mean, it's like you
just fucking disappeared.
Yeah, well, my mom died.
What?
Oh my god. I remember your mom.
Yeah, well, she's dead.
I didn't know that.
Why didn't I know that?
Most eighth graders
don't really read obituaries.
I remember she used to
make those ginger cookies.
You know, for the snacks
after the math meets. They were
really good.
Yeah, they were.
This is hers.
It's a medical ID.
That's why it's giving feminine.
I'm really sorry about your mom.
It's fine. I'm
not hung up on it.
I'm still smart, by the way.
I just don't really give
a fuck about anything.
Okay.
You know what, I think I
actually might like this coat
better than the last one.
Really?
Yeah.
You're not messing with me?
No, man. I think you look good.
And you'd never
know it was fake.
I feel like I definitely want
people to think it's fake.
Yeah, that's actually a
good point. That's true.
It's fur!
Oh boy.
- I'm just happy we're
fucking not dead.
- Hey.
Gas cans are never a good sign.
Do you guys need a ride?
Yeah.
- Yes.
Yes, we do.
- Yes, actually.
Get in.
You will not believe
the last car we were in.
He's a therapy dog.
No way. Lo, that is sick.
Yeah, I know.
I mean, just look at him.
Hi buddy.
Your boyfriend is cute.
Oh, no, no. He's
not my boyfriend.
Bye!
Hey, bye!
Goddamn, that girl
is hot as fuck.
Seriously? You guys good?
You're awesome.
Get wherever you're going
safely, alright? - Stay,
baby!
Thanks, man.
- Bye!
I got two questions. Where
did you get this coat and who's
that girl?
I like your cat.
Thanks, dude.
I like your dog.
This is Gus.
Just did a visit at
the children's hospital.
[Aparna chuckles] Nice.
Thanks.
I know it looks like he could
eat a child, but he's a gentle
giant.
Wait, are you in med school?
Next year.
Oh.
Next year.
- Nice.
Yeah. Save some lives
and shit, you know.
Yeah, yeah.
Totally. I want
to save the world.
Good.
Good. Somebody has to.
What's up, what's up?
Hey.
- Hey!
Nice ride.
Thanks.
It's a hybrid, but
I'm sure my carbon
footprint is still in
asshole territory, so.
Um, yeah, what's the
EPA MPGe rating on this?
Seventy-three.
Oh.
You know your shit.
Yeah. I'm Lo.
Yeah, um, I'm Aparna.
Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you.
Um, that was Tripod in there.
Oh yeah, that's my cat.
He's cute.
Thanks. Yeah, he's mine.
I'm Yoshi, by the way.
Nice to meet you!
- Nice to meet you.
How you doing?
Anyways, I gotta go.
Yeah.
See you later.
Ciao.
- Ciao!
Ciao.
Peace.
Why are you cockblocking me?
I know this is a big ask.
That is not lost on me.
I appreciate you.
[cell phone ringing]
Hello?
Hey Principal Fisher, I got
a bit of a development here.
Yeah?
I got into a tiny fender bender.
What?
Oh my god. How bad?
Mmm, hard to say.
Definitely some dings,
some cosmetic stuff.
Ugh, this is so annoying.
But the good news is, it
was a single car accident.
So that's great.
Yeah, yeah. My car.
My car's the car.
Yeah, yes. Yeah, that's true.
You got, you nailed that one.
Um, but don't worry though,
my ex-partner's hauling ass in
their direction.
Okay, I gotta hang up now.
Okay, but the glass
is half full here.
What's the latest?
[Toilet flush]
You.
Walk out.
Now. Go.
And don't say a fucking word.
Wash your hands
when you get home.
Are you finished?
Almost.
Come on.
Okay, I'm done.
[Music plays, car driving]
What?
What?
Oh, I thought you
said something.
No.
There are surfers
trying to find hundred foot
waves to surf, but they
can never find them.
But they keep looking and
like, do they know on some level
that this giant monster wave
is probably how they die?
Like they're looking for
the wave that kills them.
Fuck.
That's some like Moby
Dick shit there, you know.
Um, dude, are you alright?
Yeah. Yeah, no. I'm
just on mushrooms.
Oh my god, dude! You said you
didn't have any drugs in the
car.
He also has marijuana.
Oh my god, this fucking
narc, you know? She
used to be so cool. We
don't know what happened.
Okay, how long do shrooms last?
I don't know, man.
I timed them wrong.
Obviously they were supposed to
hit when we got to campus, so.
Hey, at least I'm not driving.
Dude! You are driving!
Yeah. Yeah. Okay.
No, seriously man, you
are driving the car.
Are you messing with me?
No! Are you messing with me?
Yeah, dude.
Okay, but you don't have
any more drugs in the car?
No, man. I did them all.
Pull the fuck over, Yoshi!
Yeah, okay. Good idea.
Take the next right.
Hey, how many times have I
been like, 'Dude, are there
drugs in this car?'
Probably many. I don't know
what you want me to say, okay?
It's for work.
Work?
Wait, look. Chapel
Hill, 27 miles.
Oh shit!
Yes! Finally!
[police siren wails]
Hold on, hold on, hold on.
Oh my god, you're joking.
- Oh...
Fuck.
Wait. We didn't learn this.
Where do I go?
- Stay cool.
Where do I go?
What do I do? I don't know!
Just fucking pull over
to the side of the road!
You gotta pull over.
Dude, stop moving the vehicle.
Okay. I'm pulling over.
[Yoshi farts]
I just farted.
What?
Seriously?
- I fart when I'm nervous, okay?
Why though?
Oh my god.
This could be alright,
she looks nice.
Hey.
You know how fast
you were going?
I was probably going
a little over, I'm sorry.
Eighty-four.
You in a hurry?
Oh, we um, we have
an injured cat back here.
Yeah, we're just trying
to get him to a vet.
Yeah, he lost his leg.
Yeah, but goddammit,
he's a fighter.
How about we cut that shit?
Give me your IDs.
All of you.
ID?
Um, okay. Just one second.
What kind of ID?
What's considered...
- Don't ask.
Come on.
Just give it to her.
Here's ID, yeah.
Sit tight.
Thank you for your service.
We only say that to
military people. She's not...
Fucked, guys.
I got 'em.
Those little fuckers
must be freaking out.
Hell yeah.
You have the right to remain
silent. You have the right to
shit all over yourself.
I miss it. This
is the good stuff.
I'm just pretending
to run the info.
Which is a high school ID.
A bus pass.
A Planet Fitness
membership card.
And a Panda Express punch card.
We're fucked.
It's over.
Go.
What?
Dude...
- We gotta go.
No!
- Okay, I still
have drugs in the car.
What?
- What?
Yes! I know! I'm sorry!
What the fuck are you talking
about?
- Okay?
I asked you like a thousand
times
Are you fucking
kidding me, Yoshi?
Oh my god!
- It's my job, okay?
I, seriously...
No, no! Don't go.
Okay, Evie? I think we gotta go.
No.
We gotta go. Come on, we gotta
Ah, you little
bitch-ass mother...
Fuck!
You tiny bitch.
Oh my god.
- What happened?
Are you kidding me?
Go, go, go! Keep going.
Okay, I really, I
don't like this at all.
Oh, it's on now!
Shit, I forgot my Panda
Express card. I was one punch
away from some free rangoons
Can we go back?
No!
- No, go, go, go! Keep going.
Okay, okay, okay, what
do I do here? There's an RV.
You gotta go around this guy.
No, I know, I know, I know.
Yes, shit, you gotta
go around this guy. Shit!
Watch out, watch out!
[car horn blares]
Holy shit.
Oh my god, oh my god. That
was not okay. That was not okay.
That was awesome.
Alright, everyone hold on.
Oh fuck!
Pass! Pass! Pass!
No, no, no, don't go. There's
too many cars. There's too many
cars.
Look, at this point really
it's just about not being afraid
to die.
I'm afraid to die!
Me too!
[Screaming]
This is crazy! We're still
being chased. Let's go!
I didn't think we make it.
Like, I've made
peace with it. Fuck!
Evie!
Okay, everyone hold on!
Think of all the good
times that we've had.
Thank God.
Oh my god
Fuck, Evie! They should
straight up just give you your
license for that.
Wow.
[Offscreen] I will shoot
your dick and balls!
What the fuck?
Fuck you, Paul!
No, fuck you, Terry! You
think you can rob me?
I am collecting a
debt, motherfucker!
Wait, what's going on?
You think marijuana
just grows on trees?
It does grow on trees!
Wait, they have fucking
guns. They have fucking guns.
Oh my god. Oh my god, I've
never seen a fucking gun before.
I will shoot you, Terry!
Not if I shoot you first!
[Gunshots]
Oh god! What the
fuck is, what is
He's coming in the car!
[everyone screaming]
Okay! Okay, okay, okay!
Drive!
What? No!
- Drive the car!
Wait, you walked to a robbery?
You trying to get shot in
the asshole, son? Cause
today is the day that
I'm shooting assholes off.
Now drive the fucking car!
Okay! Okay! Okay!
Fuck?
God, fuck, we're going to
jail. We're going to go to
fucking jail.
Y'all ain't going to jail.
It's me who's going to jail!
Who the fuck are you?
I'm Terry.
Freeze! Everybody step
out of the vehicle.
Put your hands in
the air. Come on.
Hands in the air! Now
move to the front of the car.
Put your hands on the hood.
Fuck that.
Hey! Big boy! Hey!
Hey! Hey, come back!
No!
Fuck. Goddammit!
Come on.
Okay, I know this looks bad.
Hell yeah. You stole a
driver's education car and you
fled from the state police.
Yeah, and I get that. This is
a driver's ed car that we
borrowed without permission.
But we're trying to drive
to Chapel Hill so that
he can save his relationship
with his girlfriend.
Dumbass.
Look, when you pulled us
over, we panicked, okay?
But that guy, he just
robbed this hot dog shack.
What?
He is running down the
road and he is armed and
dangerous and he says
he's shooting assholes off.
Whatever that means.
This is the luckiest day
of your goddamn life.
[siren wails]
- [car drives off]
What do you mean pursuit?
Just what I said. She's
pursuing an armed felon.
Yes.
No!
Oh come on. There's
gotta be some part of you
that's rooting for these
kids, right? Little bit?
No. Not even a little.
Absolutely not.
We made it guys. I
mean, we're here.
Dude, I know. I feel like giddy.
I know, me too.
- I know!
God damn, we're not
in Kansas anymore.
We are in the Emerald City.
Look at these douchebags.
What are they doing?
Why would Sam hang
around guys like this?
Thanks, Aparna.
Nah man, she dated you,
you know. She must be into
like skinny, physically
non-threatening dudes.
Beta males.
No, no, no. This dude
is not a beta, okay?
Look what we did today.
He's a fucking omega.
Doesn't give a fuck.
Hey, Dakota. Hey, yeah, I
have a John McClean here to see
Samantha Pierce?
Uh-huh. Okay.
Sorry, she's not here.
Oh, um, well could you ask
where she is by any chance?
No. Um, creepy.
Oh no, I'm not, I'm not
creepy. I swear, I'm not.
That's not me.
Bro, you're being weird.
No, I'm not being weird
actually. I promise I'm not.
This is not weird. I'm...
It's not what it looks like.
Can you please connect
me to security?
Okay. Sorry. Thanks. Yeah.
Fuck.
Hey.
You know, I was actually
just rethinking this.
I think maybe one of
you guys should go up
and like talk to her roommate,
you know, get some intel.
Just cause I think it's like,
you know, I want to surprise
her. Like I think that would
be way more romantic.
What do you think?
[EVIE]: Okay. Alright.
Thank you. Thanks.
Do you guys think I'm weird?
[knocks on door]
Hey. Sorry, I'm looking for Sam?
Is this a bad time? - Bitch,
please. You want some
Bareass?
Sorry, Bareass?
- Chardonnay. Come on.
Okay
[door shuts]
[pouring sound]
So, I'm pretty sure
Sam's at Sociology. Or
maybe Zoology. I don't
know, one of the ologies.
Here. Sit. Please.
Okay.
Wait, don't you have her number?
Oh, um, my phone died.
You want to just
call her on mine?
I don't want to bother
her if she's in class.
You coming out with us tonight?
Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I just, I
mean I have to meet some
friends first, but um... Remind
me, what's the plan again?
Kappa's throwing. Super
hot guys, and not all of them
are assholes. Just don't
leave your drink unattended.
[Evie coughs]
You're an architect.
I am? - Yeah. Yeah,
I'm very intuitive.
But you want to be an
adventurer. Something's holding
you back.
What is it?
I think it's you.
Well, what's gonna happen to me?
I don't know. Can
you do my back?
Sure, okay.
Whoo! Okay.
[pouring drink]
Oh, yes please.
Some for you.
Muchas gracias.
[exhales deeply]
You can't volley at the net.
What?
In pickleball, you can't
volley within seven
feet of the net. It's
called the kitchen.
Right.
- Right.
So how did you really
break your arms?
Okay, I'm not gonna bullshit
you anymore. I crashed
my car into the back of
a fucking ice cream truck.
And I wasn't wearing a seatbelt.
The airbag just like
obliterated me. I mean,
there's no way that's
how it's meant to work.
It was like way too much force.
I can't let you teach
Driver's Ed anymore.
Yeah, I get that.
Can I be honest with you?
Yeah.
I think my novel's
a piece of shit.
And I really hate the
main character, which is
messed up cause it's
like semi-autobiographical.
I don't know what I'm doing
with my life. I think the
problem is that um...
Uh, I'm not good at anything.
I can't believe I'm saying
this, but you're actually really
good with kids.
Really? You think so?
Yes. I mean you like them
a fuck of a lot more than I do.
[both laugh]
Do you know what I mean?
I do. Why do you have
this job? Did you lose a bet?
[indistinct chatter]
[YOSHI]: Oh my god!
It's like sex permeates
the air here, you know?
You can feel it
By the way, I know it's weird
timing, but thank you guys for,
you know, coming along.
I don't think I uh... could
have done this without you guys.
Alright well, you have not
done it yet, so don't get too
excited here.
Well, whatever. Up
until this point, I guess.
That's fair.
- Take the compliment.
[all chuckle]
Hey, you think I could
talk to you for a second?
Yeah, sure.
You know I was
kidding today, right?
Uh, when?
Today.
Yoshi. Your mom died. You're
in a lot of pain and it's okay.
I'm basically over it.
It's okay, you don't
have to be over it.
I'm not.
I know. But you also can't
make that an excuse for not
taking care of yourself.
What if I feel like this
for the rest of my life?
No, I don't... I
don't think you will.
You can definitely let
it go without losing her.
You know that, right?
Yeah.
So, like... who do
you know that's dead?
Um, my grandmother.
Fucking old people, right?
[Aparna chuckles]
- Yeah.
[party music playing]
This is nightclub level shit.
Yo, what's good player?
Those two are good.
Go on in. Go ahead.
No, no, no, they're with us.
Girls only.
I got coke.
Yeah, we all do. Fuck off.
No, guys, these rules seem
like arbitrary. -Yeah
Okay. Alright, you guys just
go in. We'll figure something
out. Yeah yeah!
Are you sure?
- Yeah yeah yeah
Totally.
Come on. They'll live.
Fuck that guy.
Yeah, dude.
- Weird thing is I actually
kind of liked him, you know?
Okay, we need another
plan. We gotta figure this out.
Get the fuck in. That's the
plan, okay? Let's Santa Claus
this bitch.
Let's free climb up the side and
jump down through the chimney.
Yeah.
Um, alright, is there a plan B?
Oh my god.
- Everyone's wearing handcuffs.
This party is fire. Did I
just sound like a total dork?
No, you're not a dork. You're
fucking cool and you're gonna
save the world.
You're fucking cool.
Do you wanna get a drink?
Yeah, yeah, I actually do.
Just stay close, okay?
Shit.
[whispering]
It's a basement.
Oh shit.
Fuck, it's locked.
Think you could throw
me through the door?
No.
Yeah, maybe I could
break it down.
[slams door]
- Fuck!
Fuck!
Oh shit.
[door creaks open]
Alright.
Oh, I know!
Yeah, for real.
That is so funny though.
[YOSHI]: Oh, shit!
[Yoshi making cheerful sounds]
Whoa!
Oh, tight lid game.
- Guard your dog.
What?
[Yoshi yells in pain]
- Guard your dog!
Shit!
Dude. Are you okay man?
No, he just punched me in the
dick, dude! Why did he do that?
I don't know, he told
you to guard your dog,
dude, and you didn't guard it.
- I know! I know!
What a dick.
This is a sick
party though, right?
What is wrong with you, dude?
Gotta dance.
[YOSHI]: Woo!
I think I like girls.
I don't know what I
am or anything, but...
Yeah, I like girls.
Hey, that's cool.
[Aparna exhales deeply]
You know, you're the only
person I've ever said that to.
Wait. If I'm the only
person, does that mean...
Does that mean you
haven't like... you know...
No, I don't even
know how to start.
I mean, everyone knows
me already and...
So I feel like I just need to
wait until next year to
completely reinvent myself.
No, no Aparna
Fuck waiting.
Come on, Jeremy didn't wait.
He just... he just got in the
car and came here.
Yeah, well, Jeremy's
gonna get his heart broken.
Yeah, I know.
But you know, I don't
really think that's the point.
[Music playing]
Hey hey!
Thank you.
So what's going on
with you and Evie?
What?
What do you mean?
"What do you mean?"
There's nothing going on with
me and Evie. I don't know what
you're talking about.
Why not?
Like, she's fine. She's nice,
she's creative, she's smart.
Dude, I came here for Samantha.
Maybe we don't know why we go
anywhere. - [Jeremy
chuckles]
What?
Oh...shit
What, what, what?
Is it your dick?
No, no, no, it's my butt,
dude. No cap. Okay?
Mudslides are running
straight through me. I gotta go
find a bathroom.
Alright, good luck man.
Guard your dog.
Oh! Fuck!
Oh Jesus!
You warned me, man.
[Upbeat dance music playing]
Oh my god, you made it!
Hey!
Um, hey, wait, where's Aparna?
Oh, she went to the bathroom.
Oh shit, yeah, so did Yoshi.
Hey, have you seen
Samantha anywhere? Like...
No. No, I don't even
think she's here, honestly.
Yo, take the bottle!
Oh! Yeah!
Oh, thanks man.
[handcuffs fastening]
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Gimme your hand.
No, no, no, we don't
want this. We're all good.
Champagne and shackles,
bro. I have to do this.
Enjoy.
[Music continues]
Hey!
Hey!
- It's you!
Uh, Aparna.
You're Lo, right?
Yes ma'am.
Wait, you go here?
Mhm. You?
No, uh, no, I'm in high school.
But I'm 18 though, which
is... that's a college age.
I know, but... high
school, right? For now.
Um, which sucks, but
it's... it's whatever, also.
[Lo chuckles]
Where's... where's Gus?
Oh, he's just hanging out.
Oh my god, he's...
He's so cool.
He's the life of the
party right there.
Wait, I didn't know
they let you have dogs.
They don't. I had to pay a
$500 fine and they kicked me out
of the dorm.
Oh.
Yeah. It was against the rules.
Well, I mean...
rules are overrated.
Today's actually the first
day in my life that I haven't
followed the rules.
Do you think that's sad?
No. No, I think it's exciting.
It means anything can happen.
You know?
Yeah. Yeah, totally.
[Door opens]
I'll just go here.
Ew, no! Go to a stall!
There's a sink right here.
Ew, you're so gross.
[toilet flushes]
- [Yoshi sighs]
I like your necklace.
Really?
You do?
Yeah.
Has a very powerful energy.
It's very, very special.
Yeah.
It is.
Take it.
No. No, I can't
take your necklace.
It's not mine.
Not really, anyway.
I'm serious. I don't
need it anymore.
You're the fool.
I know. I'm a fucking idiot.
No. You're on an inspired
journey of endless
possibilities.
I am?
Mhm.
Nice.
[Party music intensifies]
- One, two, three, four!
[Cheering]
Oh shit.
Uh...
It's you.
Hey, little man.
They... they didn't catch you?
Fuck no they didn't catch me.
I'm quick as shit. Too fast, too
furious.
What... what are you doing here?
Making a delivery. These kids
gotta get their drugs somewhere.
Oh shit, dude, I'm a drug
dealer too. - Oh, for
real?
Yeah, yeah.
Don't fuck with my shit.
Guard your dog.
- [groans in pain]
Oh, he got it. He
got everything.
[Coughing]
You know, I think I'm tipsy.
Yeah, I think you're drunk.
I didn't think we'd
have this much fun.
Like, we should do
this more often.
Totally.
Oh shit.
What?
She's here.
Are you okay?
[indiscernible chatting]
She looks really happy.
Right, okay, well.
You look stupid.
I'll follow you.
Hey, Sam.
Jeremy?
How are you here?
Well, I uh... I stole a driver's
ed car so I could come see you.
What?
Yeah, sorry. I just felt like
I couldn't wait till homecoming,
you know,
and you also said that
you weren't gonna come
home for homecoming,
so I basically just... yeah.
Sorry, who are you, dude?
I'm her boyfriend.
Who the fuck are you?
Bro. Chill.
This is Scooby.
'Sup.
Scooby...
I know you.
Oh, yeah, we had Econ last year.
You guys came together?
I was in the car with
him that he stole.
Um... why didn't you call me?
I wanted to surprise you.
Damn, bro, that's a big swing.
Yeah, and uh... and I also
threw my phone off a bridge so I
couldn't call you.
Anyway, it's... it's a long
fucking story, a lot happened,
but I'm here.
This is crazy, Jer.
Um, can we just go somewhere?
Just to talk, please? Figure
this out.
Yes. Yeah, come on.
Oh my god, that means
we're all going.
Um, you stole a car?
Yeah, yeah.
Why are you saying
it like it's normal?
I miss you. Alright. Sam, I
know I'm not supposed to say
that, but...
I miss you too.
Who's Noah?
He's my friend?
Kind of odd that you
never mentioned him before.
Okay, well, I guess it
never came up, Jer. I mean,
every day there's like so
much that happens here.
I've told you that.
Whatever.
Wait. You think I'm
cheating on you?
I don't know. I don't know.
I wouldn't do that.
Guys, I hate to interrupt.
Um, I do have a picture of you
kissing him.
Oh shit.
- What?
No, I don't have like the photo,
but I mean, there is a photo.
What photo? Why didn't
you say anything to me?
I don't know, I didn't think
it would've mattered, but now
I'm thinking like...
Noah's gay.
I have a gay cousin.
Oh. Sorry, I just... I didn't
catch that on his Instagram,
so...
Okay, whatever that
means. Well, he's actually not
out to his family. And he's
very anxious about it too.
Also, remind me how any of this
has anything to do with you?
Yeah, you're right. I'm sorry.
Yeah.
I'm not cheating on you.
What about this guy?
I just met him.
We haven't hooked up yet, dude.
Whoa whoa whoa whoa.
We are not going to.
Okay? Look, it's a themed
party. Everyone has a date. You
have a date.
Next week is um... "anything
but clothes". You should come
through.
You too.
Sam, remember uh... how much
we missed each other last year
when you and your family
went on the Viking River Cruise?
I thought this year was just
gonna be like that but longer.
But it's not.
I know.
Facts. My high school
girlfriend and I stayed
together too cause we
were in love and shit.
But I was here and
she was at Vanderbilt.
And it was so hard, dude.
Because you want to go out
and meet people and make
friends and get fucked up.
You got this person that you
love, that was your fucking
world.
All of a sudden
she's just not there.
And it's confusing, dog.
And you miss her and you're
wondering like, what is she
doing right now? You know?
But that is how it gets twisted.
Thanksgiving is a bloodbath.
Everyone breaks up at
Thanksgiving.
I'ma let you cook.
Um, Sam, I'm... I'm
gonna go to NYU.
Okay.
I mean, you know, who knows
if I'll get in. I mean I'm gonna
apply to NYU.
Of course you'll
get in. It's you.
And... you should go.
I just don't want to feel
shitty all the time. And
um... and I don't want you
to feel shitty all the time.
And and... so, I think
we maybe need to...
not be what we were anymore.
I feel the same.
I gotta break the seal. I'm
sorry. She's gotta come with.
Dude, just break the bottle.
That's against the rules.
Who the fuck cares
about the rules, man?
Literally everybody.
Okay. Okay.
I gotta go.
Just one second
So... is this it?
Don't say that. Let's just...
let's not say anything?
So... what, we're supposed to
just act like everything's
normal and then
follow each other on
Instagram in 20 years or
whatever this thing is?
Well, in 20 years...
we'll be almost 40.
Ew.
[SAMANTHA]: I love you.
Wait, you should come
to that party for real.
It's next week.
Anything but clothes.
I'm okay. Thank you though.
Okay.
Bye Jer.
Come on. Come on. I need to go.
Okay.
Later.
Hey, it's okay if
you need to cry.
Well, I'm probably
gonna cry later.
Hey, why are you crying?
I don't know.
So, um, were you serious
about like the whole NYU thing?
Yeah.
We could hang out in New
York, you know. If I get in.
I wasn't really expecting this.
What?
You surprised me.
Hey Evie, do you want
to go to prom with me?
[Evie chuckles]
Prom is in May. That's
like 8 months from now.
Yeah, I know.
Yeah. Yeah, I'll go with you.
It's a date.
What's up, players?
Hey.
Freeze!
Joyride's over, loverboy.
Dude. Kevin.
What are you doing here?
Looking for your dumbasses.
Yes!
How'd you find us?
Oh, we knew you were going to
visit your girlfriend, so we
traced her phone.
Yeah. Ex-girlfriend.
Oh no.
- Come on, man.
Shut up.
- I didn't do anything!
Shut your ass up.
You... you got him?
You're goddamn right I did.
You nearly shot me, man.
I mostly blame the
gun. But I am sorry.
Thanks.
Walsh. Come on, baby.
Round them up. Let's go.
[sighs]
Come on, Kev.
Hey, can I talk to you? Come on.
I don't want to
arrest these kids.
This is your way
back on the force.
Yeah, not like this. Yoshi's
a good kid. He's just kind of a
fuck up.
I don't think I want back on
the force. The school gig's
pretty chill, you know?
Alright. Alright.
Here's our story. You
and I apprehended this
shithead together
with a tip from the kids.
Everybody goes home happy.
That's just crazy enough
to work, but what about me?
I will shoot your asshole off.
How the fuck are you on a
first-name basis with Officer
Walsh? What?
I hook him up.
With weed.
Wait, I'm sorry. I thought
you only sold to kids.
Look, he's a kid at
heart, alright? I hook
him up for free and he
keeps the heat off me.
Right.
Alright. How many of
you have been drinking?
Then you're staying
here tonight, okay?
Sleep in the grass,
sleep in a car, wherever.
I don't care. Just don't
drive for at least eight hours.
Got it?
Thank you. Thanks.
Yes. Yes, sir.
Thank you. Let's roll.
Really is your lucky
day, Tiny Bitch.
[whispered] Yoshi, call me up.
Oh my fucking god.
Never have I been so happy
that you're a fucking
drug dealer, dude.
It has its benefits, I told you.
I mean, yeah!
- That's insane.
I don't know, he's a cool dude.
Yeah, let's just...
let's just get this off.
Oh wow. Looks like we
missed all the fun.
Gus! Let's go!
Go to the car.
Hey, look who it is!
- Hey!
Hey!
What's up?
How are you?
Good. How are you?
I'm great.
Um, so I'm gonna stay at Lo's
place. And then we can meet at
the car in the morning?
Absolutely. Yes, ma'am.
- Okay.
[knocking on window]
Hi. Good morning.
Good morning.
- I got breakfast burritos.
That's not all you got.
Wow. You went there.
You did too.
[Aparna chuckles]
Thanks.
State police are
reporting that these hero
students were on a
college visit. Is that true?
Yes, that's correct.
That is true. And I'm so
proud of them, but
I'm not surprised at all.
Doing the right thing even
when it's scary or difficult
is something I've tried to
instill in all of our students.
I think what she's trying
to say is that caution
is overrated. May
fortune favor the foolish.
The bold. Fortune
favors the bold.
That too.
And if it takes just a little
heartache, it'll be alright.
And if it takes us a really
long way, it's a scenic drive.
Cause if it's you...
[indiscernible chat]
...you'd be like,
"No fucking way!"
Well that's alright...
Yeah that's alright...
Yeah that's alright...
Well that's alright...
Well, glad we're home.
Alright bud.
We're gonna be in
some serious shit.
Well, well, well. You
crazy sons of bitches, huh?
You did it.
Was it worth it?
Yeah. Yeah, it was.
Well alright then.
You followed your heart.
And I'm proud of you.
Proud of all of you.
Whew. Well, this is me.
See you jokers on Monday.
[APARNA]: At Driver's Ed?
Oh no, I'm not allowed to
teach that anymore. I'm your new
guidance counselor.
Gonna talk to all of
you about your futures.
Okay.
Ow! Fuck! Oh! You never
get used to the pain! Ah!
Bye.
Bye.
You know what, honestly,
I feel like this kind of thing
that we just did should be
like low-key encouraged.
I feel different. I feel
like something happened.
I feel like... so emotional
right now. It's... I don't know
I uh
I think I like you guys more
than like everyone else I know.
Aww.
- Aw, stop.
Yeah, we're so proud of you.
Man, we really just
did a group hug.
How about we do something this
weekend? Keep this thing going.
Why don't we make a movie?
Fuck yeah. Let's do it.
Let's do it!
Tripod should be the star.
No.
Alright, no, no, no. What
are you doing? Come on.
I'm filming you. It's a
great shot. Great light.
Really? Okay, well... You got
your shot. That's enough now.
No I didn't.
Okay, no. That's enough.
- It's not over yet.
[Music playing] You
gotta get away...
Baby when you la
la live the day...
You gotta get away...
Baby when you la
la live the day...
Yeah you know cause
even I know...
The boy doesn't make
you feel like he should...
You gotta...
You gotta la la...
You gotta cause I know
The boy doesn't make
you feel like he should...
You wake up in the
morning with your coffee...
Thinking about the
better life you could have...
Maybe you just
need a new hobby...
Or a holiday down
by the coast...
Leaning towards avoiding...
But he doesn't even
think about it...
And you know cause
even I know...
The boy doesn't make
you feel like he should...
You gotta get away...
Baby when you la
la live the day...
Yeah you know cause
even I know...
The boy doesn't make
you feel like he should...
Even I know...
The boy doesn't make
you feel like he should...
It makes you cringe
when he does it like that...
You're out of love
now you're falling back...