Dropbear (2025) Movie Script
(pensive music)
(brooding music)
(pensive music)
(fire crackling)
(camper chattering indistinctly)
[Camper] You know, the
people in Bali are just so kind.
[Camper] But is it cheap still?
'Cause I heard from a
mate, he was like, he went,
he went there thinking
it was gonna be cheap,
and all of a sudden,
cost him a fucking fortune.
[Camper] Yeah, I, I go
there so much now, though,
I'm like a local.
Like, I don't say at all
the, the real busy places.
- Yeah.
- Like, I go to Kuta.
I know some of the
language like nasi goreng.
I think that goes a long way.
- What's that?
- Nasi goreng, I'm not sure.
- What's it mean?
- But I say it a lot.
Get on the plane, like, "Nasi goreng."
I think it means, like,
rice that's fried with stuff.
[Camper] Mate, I think
you are fried. (Laughs)
[Camper] I've been
to Bali, like, 25 times,
and I, look, I really,
I, you, you are a man
with ambition who
doesn't care if he's wrong,
- and you just go about.
- Mm-hmm.
All right guys, I... (grunts)
[Camper] Oh, oh. (Laughs)
(camper coughing)
I got it. I got it.
(beer sloshing) (fire crackling)
[Camper] Oh, that's a fucking real,
that's a, that's a real man.
(camper grunts)
Oh. (Burp erupting)
(camper exhales)
[Camper] Now that's a nasi goreng.
Yep. (Sniffs)
I reckon it's pee-pee time.
[Camper] Yeah, all right.
[Camper] Oh.
[Camper] You sure you're not
gonna have a chunder, are ya?
- I'll be all right.
- You sure?
Thinking custardy custard.
Have another one, mate. (Camper coughing)
(camper laughing)
Oh, fuck. (Footsteps plodding)
[Camper] Go ahead and take one, mate.
(feet pattering)
- Oh, fucking hell. (Laughs)
- Jesus.
[Camper] All right, apparently,
the tent's set to do ya, mate.
[Camper] Yeah,
especially when you're ugly.
(campers chattering indistinctly)
(camper breathing
heavily) (footsteps plodding)
(camper grunts) (footsteps
continue plodding)
(zipper whizzing)
(urine pattering)
(camper groans) (pensive music)
(brooding music) (urine pattering)
What the fuck?
(drop bear growling)
(drop bear screeching)
(dramatic music)
(drop bear growling)
(fire crackling) (brooding music)
(rope creaking) (pensive music)
(brooding music)
(dramatic music)
(pensive music)
(rope creaking)
(birds chirping) (pensive music continues)
(bag clattering)
(hand smacking)
(bag clattering)
(bag thuds)
Where the hell is this guy?
Maybe we got scammed.
Yeah, Liam definitely
got us scammed. (Laughs)
Babe, look. Trust me.
This, this is the real Australia, right?
- Right.
- Out here in the wild.
You know, man versus nature.
Yeah, sounds great.
You know, Australia
has more deadly animals
per square mile than anywhere on earth.
(Liam laughs)
Kilometers.
What?
Per square kilometer.
Uh, sweetheart, I don't follow.
Nevermind.
Saltwater crocs,
taipans, funnel web spiders,
death adders, there are so
many, and I wanna see 'em all.
Please keep going, Ollie.
Man, I love this guy.
Yeah. (Laughs)
He knows his shit, man.
(Liam and Ollie laughing)
Yeah, yeah, we're gonna see some,
we're gonna see some
real wildlife out here.
Are you okay, champ?
What?
Oh, this heat, you know?
Like you got ants in your pants, Liam.
Just tingling sensation, that's all.
- Mm.
- Weird.
So after this, what's next?
What?
You mean after we survive the
most deadly country on earth?
Yeah, I mean, like,
where are we going to next?
Well, there's so much stuff to see.
We could go to Patagonia
or, or, or, or, or the Pacific Trail.
I mean, you would love the Pacific Trail.
Or we could go somewhere
and, like, stay awhile.
Uh, yeah, I mean, yeah, we could,
(laughs) but I mean, where's fun in that?
Yeah, where's the fun in that?
Right.
(engine humming) (birds chirping)
Wait, guys. Is that,
that's, that's Stevo, guys.
- Oh.
- Stevo.
- Stevo.
- Stevey.
(engine humming) (laid-back music)
- Stevey.
- Whoa.
- Come back.
- Good day.
Whoa, God. (Gravel crunching)
(travelers chattering indistinctly)
- All right, man.
- Whoo.
(door clattering)
(footsteps plodding)
(foot thuds)
G'day, folks.
Welcome, you bloody
legends, to the Stevo Irving
Crocodile Punter Extreme
Wildlife Experience.
(hands smacking)
(Stevo laughs)
And you're about to have
the most bat shit insane
Aussie adventure of your lives.
- Yeah.
- Whoo.
(Stevo laughs) - How
the bloody hell are ya?
No, I don't think
this is the legit Steve.
Definitely not. (Fingers snapping)
Hey, go chuck your bags in the back,
strap in, and let's gets you out
to where the real action
happens, eh? (Laughs)
Oh, (whistles) Bazza here'll make sure
we've got the right people
and that your waiter performs a song.
(clipboard clattering)
Bloody sausage fingers. (Laughs)
(Liam laughs)
If I get murdered out
here, my mom's suing.
Get murdered out here, and
no one's gonna find our bodies.
Trust me.
You'll be telling your
grandkids about this trip.
If you survive.
(Stevo and Bazza laughing)
Joking, you're all right. Come on.
(Stevo and Bazza laughing)
- Yes.
- Come on.
- That's our job.
- It's not fucking funny.
[Stevo] No rest for the wicked. (Laughs)
(engine roaring) (laid-back guitar music)
Hey, Mr. Irving, I think
you're going a little fast.
Mate, if you're not
flying, you're not driving.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, boy.
I hate this.
This is sick.
Where exactly are we going?
First step on your
official Aussie initiation,
opal fossick.
What about the drop bears?
Mate, they only come out at dusk.
- The drop bears aren't real.
- Yeah.
Aren't they?
I lost my cousin to a drop bear, mate.
- No way.
- Yes way.
Swear on me Mom's grave if she were dead.
Took his head clean off.
Cool.
This is so stupid.
Is that right, sweetheart?
Be shitting bricks soon enough.
(Liam laughs)
What?
(truck rumbling)
(laid-back guitar music continues)
Now if you look out here, what you'll see
is pristine Aussie living.
There's no cities. There's no traffic.
There's no rules.
That's right.
[Stevo] Just you and nature.
(Jessica grunts)
Oh, for fuck's sake.
Babe, gotta soak it in.
Yeah? Soak this in.
No service, Wi-Fi, there's no point.
Hey, uh, what's that place?
(engine humming)
It's just an old research facility, mate.
It's, uh, been shut down for years.
It's nothing interesting, mate.
(pensive music)
(engine humming) (pensive music continues)
(engine continues
humming) (laid-back music)
(gear stick clattering)
(engine humming)
(brakes squeaking)
(doors clattering)
(feet thudding)
All right.
(Stevo inhaling) (door clattering)
Ah.
That's the smell of the
real Aussie Outback.
Yeah, smells like home. (Liam coughing)
- Oh, Jesus Christ.
- Bro, bro, what is that?
Oh, oh, God.
Oh, my God.
(flies buzzing) (birds chirping)
Well, looks like we
found dinner. (Laughs)
Oh, that's disgusting. (Gagging)
What the hell did that?
(Bazza and Stevo laughing)
That's nature, mate.
It's the circle of life.
[Bazza] Yep.
Or some lion shit. (Flies buzzing)
This isn't a dingo kill.
The wounds are too precise.
Should we be worried?
We're all right, sweetheart,
top of the food chain out here.
Yeah, usually.
Ah, don't breathe near me. (Bazza laughs)
Right. (Hands thudding)
First things first, we set up camp,
we get a fire going, and
then the real fun begins.
Folks, chop, chop.
- Okay.
- Let's get ready.
Come on.
(laid-back guitar music)
(sticks clattering)
(tent rustling)
Hey, um, I'm not sure
I'm feeling it this time.
Every time, it's getting
more riskier, mate.
Come on, Baz.
You're acting like we've had a problem.
It's not about if we've got a problem.
It's about when we've got a problem.
Baz, we do what we always do.
We take 'em out for a good time.
We give 'em up for few scares,
make sure they leave
lighter than they came.
And if they don't fucking leave?
Then we take care
of it like we always do.
Yeah, (sighs) I don't know, mate.
The last lot were pretty messy.
Gotta work for the cash, mate.
(Bazza laughs)
Sure. (Birds chirping)
I just don't think I'm
feeling it this time.
Baz, all you're feeling is
our screaming hangover.
(hand thudding) (Bazza laughs)
All right? (Pensive music)
Come on. Get your head straight, mate.
(laid-back guitar music)
(tent rustling)
Hey.
Bow don't go there, sweetheart.
You're not building a
modern art piece, are ya?
(Bazza laughs)
You could help instead
of finishing a 10th beer.
[Stevo] Ooh. (Whistles)
Ooh.
You want some Bazza, do ya?
Well, Bazza can't
(shirt rustling)
Because Bazza is on wood.
Good idea, Baz, good idea.
- Fucking great.
- All right.
Heigh-ho, heigh-ho,
off to chop wood I go
(pensive music)
(saw buzzing)
(clears throat) Now fire,
fire is the heart of the camp.
It takes patience.
It's an ancient survival art.
You need to respect the process, all right?
Yeah. (Clearing throat)
(twigs clattering)
(Stevo exhales)
Riveting. (Twigs clattering)
You sure you know what you're
Course I bloody know.
It's in my blood.
Can't we just use a lighter?
Nope, fucking nope.
Let me show you how the pros do it.
(twigs clattering)
There's no shortcuts.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know,
whatever, fucking flippety flop.
Uh, that, that, that
seems a little dangerous.
Mate, that's the point.
(Stevo grunting) No pain, no gain.
Oi, oi.
Come on. (Twigs clattering)
Ya like fire, do ya, little man?
- I love fire.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Ya fucking love it?
- Yeah.
- Ya love it?
- Yeah.
Yeah? Well, fucking move back.
No, come a little closer.
- Oh, okay.
- Yeah, stop.
- All right.
- Just kidding.
Fuck off. Get back.
Stevo, you're gonna want to move back a bit
unless you want your cock burned again.
- Oh, oh.
- Oh, fucking yes.
You're gonna wanna move... This is my part
- of the show.
- Outta way, way, mate.
This is my... You're gonna wanna move
outta the way.
Bazza, fucking hell, Bazza.
Bazza.
Wait, Baz. This is my, fuck.
Trying to kill me.
(lighter clicking)
- Oh.
- Fucking hell, Baz.
(fire roaring)
- Whoa.
- Holy shit.
- The fuck?
God, get up.
Holy shit.
- Dude.
- It is going now.
That was sick.
Yes, mate, that was fucking sick.
That was sicker than a kid with leukemia.
(Stevo gasping) (fire crackling)
I fucking would've done
it another minute or so.
Shoulda, would a,
could a, but fucking didn't.
Fuck's sake, Bazza,
every fucking time, mate.
Yep.
Your tent's still fucked, by the way.
Fuck's sake, Bazza.
Chop, chop on your tents,
and there's two ways of doing fires,
you know, the traditional
ancient survival art way,
which is what I was teaching
you, which I am an expert in,
um, which is you're rubbing it together,
and then there's Bazza's
way, which is methylated spirits
Why didn't you... and flammable liquids.
Mate, fuck's sake.
These guys are fucking crazy.
(leaves rustling)
(fire crackling)
(Bazza snoring)
(birds chirping) (fire crackling)
(hands smacking)
Right, now that we're all settled,
it's time for a little Aussie adventure.
(laughs) Oh.
Ooh.
Yay, more.
Have you ever heard of fossicking?
Fossicking.
Fossicking, babe, huh? (Laughs)
Fossicking.
- Fossicking.
- Yeah, you mean
like digging for gemstones?
There's someone who knows.
You lucky bastards are
gonna be hunting for opals.
Sick, let's do it. (Laughs)
I hate everything about this.
Oh, come on, babe.
Wait, Baz, Baz, Baz.
Fuck, I'm up.
Go scout ahead. Get the good stuff, eh?
Oh, yeah, fuck yeah.
(chair creaking) (fire crackling)
Right, now Bazza here is
gonna go for a little walkabout,
but don't worry about him
because, in the meantime, you, me,
all of us are gonna be hunting
for the jewels of the bush.
- Oh.
- 'Kay?
So strap in. Get yourselves ready.
Let's get stuck in, shall we?
Right, chop, chop, let's get going.
(laughs) Oh, strap in and strap on.
- Chop, chop.
- Oh, oh.
Milady.
Right this way. (Pensive music)
(door clattering)
(glove box clattering)
(paper rustling)
(stones rattling) (pensive music continues)
That'll do.
(glove box clattering)
(door clattering) (pensive music continues)
Yeah, that'll do.
That's good, Baz. That's good, man.
Hide-and-seek champion 1995.
(footsteps plodding)
(pensive music continues)
(stone clanking)
(footsteps plodding)
(pensive music continues)
(birds chirping) (footsteps
continue plodding)
(branch clattering)
(footsteps plodding)
(pensive music continues)
(birds chirping) (pensive music continues)
(footsteps plodding)
Dumb bloody Yanks.
(footsteps plodding)
(laid-back music)
(hikers chattering indistinctly)
Did you even bring wipes?
(hikers chattering indistinctly)
Careful with that one. That's a big one.
(Emily laughs)
You guys are all right.
It's just the local wildlife.
(footsteps plodding)
All right, folks. (Clears throat)
Opals could be anywhere.
Whoo.
What the hell are we digging for?
Whoo. (Laughs)
(hikers chattering indistinctly)
Whoo, (clears throat)
would ya look at that?
[Liam] Oh.
(Stevo grunting)
An opal.
Oh, it's beautiful, Stevo.
You found that in a tree?
Oh, you see, Aussie wildlife,
Aussie birds sometimes grab
'em and stash 'em in trees.
Aw. (Laughs)
That doesn't sound right.
What are you, some sort of expert
in Aussie geology there, mate?
Opals form underground. They're mined.
They're not just laying around in trees.
I knew it. This whole thing's a scam.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Yeah.
[Stevo] Here, have a look, mate.
No, no, no, it's real,
and it's, and it's beautiful,
and you know what?
I'm gonna call it Jess.
[Emily] Aw. (Liam laughs)
[Stevo] That's the way, Liam.
That was planted.
Hey, let's not jump to, uh, you know,
to any conclusions or anything.
(Emily screaming)
Holy shit.
Oh, my... Oh, oh.
Oh, my, my God. (Snake hissing)
- Get her back.
- Oh, God, did you see that?
Oh. (Emily screaming)
Stevo.
Halt this minute.
Stand back. Stand back.
If you don't move, it won't.
(snake hissing)
Fuck.
- Oh.
- No, no.
- Hey, hey.
- Ollie.
- Kill it, Stevo.
- Kill that bastard.
Lucifer Morningstar in serpent form.
(dramatic music)
[Jessica] Holy fucking shit.
(Bazza screaming)
Bazza, no.
Fuck off, snake.
(Bazza grunting) (shovel thudding)
Break him. Kill it.
Kill that bastard. Kill it.
(Bazza grunting) (shovel thudding)
Yeah.
(Jessica whimpering)
- Oh.
- Steve.
- Steve.
(laughs) Oh, that was fucking amazing.
Oh, I swore, dammit.
Oh, my God.
Bazza just saved our lives.
I, uh, I totally had under control.
You? You fucking asshole.
You just ran behind me. I could have died.
No, uh, I tactically retreated
to reposition myself to attack.
No, mate, you prayed.
No, I didn't.
I'm a, I'm an expert in
black belt martial arts,
and sensei says sometimes
you've gotta reposition yourself to attack,
and that's what I did.
Hope you're not paying
for those classes, mate,
'cause you're fucking shit.
More opals to be
found, so, uh, cheers, Baz.
Just go find the opals, dude.
[Stevo] Well done, all right.
I'll clean up. I'll see you back at camp.
[Stevo] All right, you can fuck off.
Right, okay, um.
Okay, let's go.
I just saw a snake.
[Stevo] Come on, shall we?
- Come on, big boy.
- Wow.
This way, babe.
- All right, lads.
- I guess we can go.
(grass rustling)
(crickets chirping)
(fire crackling)
(pensive music) (fire continues crackling)
(Stevo slurping)
[Stevo] Mm.
Mm.
(fire crackling) (pensive music continues)
Authentic bush tucker.
Hey. (Fingers snapping)
This is authentic Aussie bush tucker.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, excuse me.
There is nothing better
than a can of baked beans,
especially when you get
it for a buck from Chippy.
Fuck, that's cheap.
- It's fucking cheap.
- I love a,
I love a bargain.
(fire crackling) (pensive music continues)
[Stevo] Mm.
Mm.
Man, I really wanna wrestle a croc.
(Ollie laughs)
Yeah, uh, you would
lose that fight. Trust me.
Ollie.
You okay?
Yeah, I'm just tired,
Babe, you're always tired.
(Ollie and Liam laughing)
I'm sorry.
What's that?
Oh, nothing.
You have to tell him sooner or later.
It... (sighs)
Hey, we should be
careful out here at night.
In Australia, there are
so many ways to kill you.
Like Bazza, blah.
(Bazza and Stevo laughing)
- That was a good one, Baz.
- Yeah, it was.
(Liam laughs)
Hey, Bazzar, have you ever actually seen
anyone get killed out here?
(Bazza laughs)
Not yet, mate, but
there's always tomorrow.
(Bazza laughs)
I had a mate once.
He was a big bloke.
Went by the name Mullet Mick.
He claimed that he wrestled a drop bear
with his bare hands.
A few days later, we found him half eaten,
dangling from a gumtree.
Miss you, Mick.
The coroner chalked
it up as a dog attack,
but I know better.
Sure, and you didn't
see or hear anything?
Oh, no, I was shitfaced.
- (scoffs) Yeah, no kidding.
- Yeah.
You know, if these
drop bears really exist,
kinda wanna see one and wrestle it.
My dear legends, it's time for you to see
some real Aussie horror.
Who's ready to meet
the dreaded drop bear?
Yes, oh, sorry. (Fist thudding)
My God, no one thinks this is real, 'kay?
Because they're not.
Hey, that's what the bloody
drop bear wants you to think.
Yeah, uh, Bazza's gotta
go take a slash and a shit,
both at the same time.
Eat up, yeah? (Liam laughs)
I don't really like it.
Hey, Stevo, where do we shit?
(crickets chirping) (fire crackling)
You walk over there just outta sight.
You dig a hole. You drop your daks.
You squat like a real
man. You shit in the hole.
But how do we wipe?
There's enough twigs to go around, champ.
I'll hold it.
(pensive music)
(animal howling) (crickets chirping)
Hey, uh, think we could
spend a year out here?
You know, full bush survival.
- No.
- What?
Come on. Think about it.
You, me, the stars,
you know, maybe a dingo or two.
Jesus, Ollie.
Not everything has to be another trip.
What?
What, what's that supposed to mean?
Emily? (Pensive music continues)
(footsteps plodding)
Gather round, you legends,
and prepare for the
terror of the drop bear.
(Stevo growling)
(Stevo exhales)
All right, come on. Let's go.
Let's go.
(footsteps plodding) (fire crackling)
(suspenseful music)
Dropbears hunt from the canopy.
They're fast, silent, brutal killers.
Now you follow me, and ya
keep your bloody heads down.
[Liam] Got your back.
Dropbears are sneaky little bastards.
(crickets chirping)
(suspenseful music continues)
Hey, Jess, we need to talk.
Not now, okay?
Jess, you need to tell him.
(sighs) Don't you dare
lecture me about this, okay?
He's gonna figure it out sooner or later.
(Jessica sighs)
(footsteps plodding)
Right, you two coming or what?
You're gonna miss the big show.
Just stay out of it, 'kay?
(footsteps plodding)
Hey, if they're so dangerous,
how come there's no documented attacks?
It's a government coverup, mate.
That makes sense.
No, it doesn't.
(Stevo groans)
- Dude.
- I watch Guy.com.
They talk about that
sort of stuff all the time.
(footsteps plodding)
(pensive music continues)
They hunt from above, watching, waiting,
ready to attack, like a puma.
(footsteps plodding) (crickets chirping)
Oh.
There.
(crickets chirping)
(pump clattering)
Anytime now, mate.
Come on, ya bastard.
(liquid splashing) (Bazza groaning)
Ah, fuck.
- What the hell?
- Jesus, ah, come on.
Whoa.
(Bazza groaning) Oh, oh.
The dropbear's got him.
- He's got me, he's got me.
Oh, oh, Bazza's under attack.
Dropbear's got him.
- It's on me, it's on me.
- Oh, Bazza's under attack.
What a world, what a world.
- No, oh.
- Crikey Moses.
- This is pathetic.
- This is so fake.
(Bazza groans)
(crickets chirping) (Bazza gasping)
Mate, how dare you play
such a stupid joke on our friends?
- Me?
- Yes, you.
You, been your shit show from the start.
Crazy fucking...
(animal growling)
Was that from the speaker?
(crickets chirping)
(drop bear screeching and thudding)
(Bazza screaming)
Bazza. (Drop bear screeching)
(laughs) Oh, wow, what a breakout.
What the fuck?
Oh, this trip has been worth it.
(drop bear screeching) (Liam laughs)
That's not fake.
(drop bear screeching) (Bazza screaming)
Bazza.
(Bazza grunting) (blood squelching)
(body thudding) (pensive music)
(onlooker gasps)
(Ollie gagging)
(Ollie retching)
Run.
(Jessica screaming)
- Oh, God.
No, no, it's all part of the show.
(drop bear growling)
(Stevo screaming) (brooding music)
(dramatic music) (hikers screaming)
(paws pattering) (hikers
continue screaming)
- Oh, God.
- Oh, my God.
(Jessica screaming)
(drop bears growling) (paws pattering)
(drop bears growling)
(dramatic music continues)
[Jessica] Help me.
[Ollie] We're all finished.
(drop bears growling)
(dramatic music continues)
(drop bears thudding) (hikers screaming)
(drop bears growling)
(dramatic music continues)
This way, run, run,
run, run, run, run, run.
(drop bears growling) (paws pattering)
(pensive music)
(crickets chirping)
(gate squeaking) (pensive music continues)
(gate clattering) (crickets chirping)
What is this place?
Looks like some kind of research lab.
Oh, oh, so we're just gonna go in there,
in some creepy-ass building
in the middle of nowhere
where those freak animals were chasing us?
Guys, I'm done, I'm done, I'm done.
I've had it, okay?
I'm done with these psycho doors
and these half-baked survival stunts, okay?
I want a phone. I want a hotel.
I need a plane ticket home,
- like, now.
- Babe, it's gonna be
No, no, It's your fault, both of you,
you fucking idiots.
Extreme Aussie Outback my ass. (Screams)
Just I hate it.
I hate it.
We're gonna end up dead
because you two thought this would be fun.
I can't believe you drug me out here.
There might be somebody in
there, maps, a radio, anything.
[Liam] Is that door
locked? (Hand thudding)
It's unlocked.
We've gotta try.
Of course, are you fucking stupid?
Come on.
Please, I don't wanna die.
There's gotta be another way.
[Ollie] Just hurry up, Jessica.
(latch clicking) (pensive music continues)
Look, I don't wanna go in here either,
but it's better than being out here.
Fine, but if anything jumps at me,
punching someone in the dick, asshole.
God.
(door thuds)
(switch clicks) (electricity buzzing)
(brooding music)
(feet shuffling) (brooding music continues)
Is that human?
Don't ask questions
we don't want answers to.
(feet shuffling) (pensive music continues)
Holy shit.
(electricity hissing)
That's insane. (Laughs)
Are you enjoying this?
I'm not enjoying this.
I mean, uh, that was pretty
Ollie, this is not some
Goddamn adventure.
We nearly died.
Yeah, but we, we made it out.
- That's what's important.
- No.
That's not what matters.
What matters is I'm so
sick of constantly running.
What, what are you talking about?
I don't wanna live like this anymore.
I don't wanna be chased
from place to place,
constantly looking for the next thrill.
I want something real.
Since, since when?
Since forever, just you never listened.
(pensive music continues)
(feet shuffling)
(jet engine roaring)
(fingers tapping) (pensive music continues)
Civilians, how did they get there?
Power spike re-lit the grid.
Cameras came online five minutes ago
when the tourists threw the breaker.
Contact HQ.
I want full IDs, socials scrub.
We can't afford to have them
live stream a classified site.
Copy.
(hand knocking)
Sir.
Gunner.
The file says a primary specimen
was never fully neutralized.
Old folklore, stay on target, Gunner.
With all due respect, sir,
the vets say this is the
biggest thing they'd ever seen.
They call it the king.
If this thing's still out
there and still breathing,
those kids just kicked a hornet's nest.
Unidentified thermal
contact, 300 kilos plus.
(pensive music continues)
Gear up the team, non-lethal if possible.
Make it happen. (Hand thudding)
Yes, Commander.
Get onto HQ. Let 'em
know we're on our way.
Yes, sir.
Instructions from the old man,
tourists come out breathing.
Anything else, human or
otherwise, gets dropped.
Failing that, the
commander's gonna firebomb
the entire grid.
- Aye aye, Sarge.
- Yeah.
(determined music) (zipper whizzing)
(equipment rasping and clattering)
(zipper whizzing)
(button clicks) (equipment rasping)
(gun clanking)
(equipment rasping)
(zipper whizzing)
(equipment rasping)
(determined music continues)
(guns clanking)
(equipment rasping)
(gun clanking)
Let's get it before it feeds.
(engine whirring)
(helicopter whirring)
(board creaking)
(pensive music)
Um, guys.
Kinda dinosaur tape is that?
Prehistoric, my dad
has a whole collection
of these stealing their
wrappers for some reason.
(tape rasping and clattering)
This is Dr. Alan Reese,
lead researcher on project,
it doesn't matter anymore.
This is our final log.
If anyone finds this, you need
to understand what we did.
We tried to be safe. We really did.
The vaccine worked.
The chlamydia, it was cured,
but the side effects, we didn't understand.
The aggression, the intelligence,
we were told to put them down,
erase all evidence, but one escaped.
[Supervisor] Turn it off.
We need to tell someone.
- I said turn it off.
- No, no.
(camera clattering)
That was fucked up.
It's a joke, right?
It's part of the experience we paid for.
(Koala King growling)
[Ollie] Oh.
Holy shit.
Oh, this can't be real.
Do I not look real to you?
This is a pleasant surprise.
What are you?
A survivor.
(Koala King sniffing)
We are not alone here.
We need to get the fuck outta here.
Yeah, now.
Run along, little ones.
I'll give you a head start.
(dramatic music)
Oh, they're following us.
(drop bears growling)
(dramatic music continues)
Run, run.
There, let's go.
(Ollie grunting)
God, it's locked.
It's locked.
(doorknob clattering)
(door slamming) (pensive music)
(Jessica whimpering)
(pensive music)
Stevo.
(Stevo breathing heavily)
Ah, shit.
What the fuck is this place?
(Stevo coughs and laughs)
Welcome to the, uh,
welcome to the end of
the bloody road, mate.
What the fuck did they do to you?
(drop bears growling)
[Koala King] You can't run away.
You ran, but you ran home.
(Stevo laughing)
You should have kept running, mate.
This is, this is, oh,
my God, this is real.
(pensive music continues)
Hey, listen, mate, we had a deal.
I bring you the tourists, fresh
meat, and you let me walk.
Face it. Ya need me.
[Koala King] Need you?
Yeah, think about it.
Without me, you have
to hunt for your own food.
We had a deal.
A deal?
(pensive music continues)
(laughs) Yeah, a deal, a deal.
Uh, I bring you fresh meat,
and, uh, you keep me in one piece.
It's a win-win.
You fucking fed people to him?
Uh, it's, it's not like that, mate.
It's just, uh, business is business, yeah?
A deal?
Yes, we once believed in deals,
just as we believed your kind cared for us,
promised to cure us.
Instead, you used us,
injected us with your poisons,
twisting us into this.
Then you tried to bury your mistakes.
But you can't bury
what won't die, human.
We fed on your soldiers, your drifters,
your friends.
Every time you led them here,
you sold out your own kind,
a poor bargain, Stevo.
We don't need you. We never did.
We eat you, but we are moral.
But you,
you are just another meal.
I, I, I can fix it.
I think it's, I can fix it.
I can fix it.
I got, uh, I got more tourists to come in,
which I can, I can fix.
You disappoint me, Stevo,
selling out your own kind.
(brooding music)
I expected better.
(Stevo screaming) (bone crunching)
- No.
- Stevo.
(flesh squelching)
(Koala King growling)
No, oh, oh, God.
(Jessica whimpers)
Oh.
(flesh squelching) Oh.
Ah, Stevo.
Dude, what the fuck? Give it a rest.
I know.
Oh, oh, God, it won't stop, okay?
Why do you scratch?
Well, I, uh, oh, it's,
I think, I, I think I have
a rash or something.
It's...
Something more.
No.
(Koala King sniffs)
Your scent, it's fouled.
Fouled?
Stevo and I had an arrangement.
He brought us meat
but not diseased.
He's, he's not diseased.
It, it, it's... Mm, humans,
always carrying filth.
(helicopter whirring)
(feet thudding)
Sergeant, five clicks to the west.
[Soldier] Move out.
Look, man, I don't know
what you want me to say, but
Silence.
(fingers rasping)
Just stop scratching.
(pensive music)
So what the fuck are you?
What am I?
Hmm.
Once I was like the others,
small, soft,
loved.
I lived in the trees, in the warmth,
in the hush of the wind.
I was safe.
Then, the humans came with their cages,
with their needles.
They called it mercy, a cure,
but mercy would've been leaving us to die.
They experimented on you?
Do you know what it's like
to feel your body twist itself apart,
to feel your bones snap, and heal,
and snap again,
to feel your mind shatter piece by piece
until you don't know where the pain ends
and you begin?
(pensive music continues)
I was small.
I was soft.
I was loved.
But now,
now I am none of those things.
(finger tapping)
(flesh squelching)
Just relax, little guy.
(koala whimpering)
(syringe clanking)
(hand knocking)
(phone clanking)
Dr. Reese, we've tripled your budget.
We need verifiable results.
Maybe we should slow down the trial.
The aggression levels
are... If you're not up to it,
we'll find someone else.
Either we fix this, or we bury it.
(koala screeching)
(flesh squelching) (koala
continues screeching)
(alarm blaring)
(flesh squelching)
(cages rattling) (alarm continues blaring)
(drop bear growling)
(cage door clattering)
(drop bear growling) (doctor groaning)
(gunshots blasting) (alarm blaring)
(glass shattering)
(doctors screaming)
(blood pattering) (drop bear growling)
(alarm blaring)
(pensive music)
(birds chirping)
(birds continue chirping)
(pensive music continues)
You poor thing.
Here, come on.
I guess you're coming home with me, hmm?
Gorgeous little thing, mm.
[Koala King] I had a
human who cared for me once
until the day your kind took her away.
(fire crackling) (pensive music continues)
(door creaking)
(footsteps plodding)
(pensive music continues)
(brooding music)
Get outta my house, you bastard.
[Koala King] I ran from her house,
from the blood and the screams.
I thought I'd find peace in the wild,
but I found only more evidence
of your cruelty, (drop bear crying)
Others like me, caged and forgotten.
(birds chirping) (pensive music)
We were lost.
But together, we survived,
grew stronger.
How much further do you boys wanna walk?
Just keep going.
It's gonna be... Oh, yeah?
All right, right here.
- Here?
- Yeah, 'cause I'm lazy.
- All right.
- Yeah, go for it.
G'day, guys, welcome
back to another episode
of "Outback Escape."
(laid-back guitar music)
Today, we're camped over that hill,
and we've heard there's a
secret research facility here,
so we've come to check it out.
Of course, a secret research facility
right on the edge of
town. (Cameraman laughs)
Yeah, so I reckon we
should put a wager on it.
Look, I like the sound
of that. I like my odds.
Let's say loser has to do the dishes.
What do you reckon, Jesse? (Brooding music)
- Yeah, okay.
- Yeah, you know what?
(drop bear growling) (cameraman groaning)
(camera thuds)
(hikers gasping) (feet pattering)
(hiker screaming) (blood squelching)
(blood continues
squelching) (dramatic music)
(birds chirping)
Came back here for answers.
Found a family instead.
(crickets chirping)
(brooding music)
(footsteps plodding)
[Soldier] Clear.
(door clattering)
(suspenseful music)
(footsteps plodding)
[Soldier] Walking, we're clear.
(footsteps plodding)
(suspenseful music continues)
I don't see anything.
- Sir.
- What?
This looks fresh, bone, human.
Doc.
I don't know what that is.
Move it out, Scorpions, nice and easy.
- Clear.
- Yeah, outstanding.
[Soldier] Clear.
All right, let's get that door.
- Up.
- All right, let's go.
You all right?
(door creaking)
(soldier laughs)
- [Soldier] Get the clear.
(suspenseful music continues)
(brooding music)
(Koala King sniffs)
More humans?
(Koala King growling)
(drop bears growling) (pensive music)
(hand rasping)
The scratching, why do you scratch?
I don't know. I thought it
might have been the dry air.
But I, I don't know. I don't know.
You lie.
It's not the dry air. She gave it to you.
Wait, what?
(Koala King growling)
Jess cheated on you.
Emily, shut the fuck up.
Jess?
I'm, it's, it's not a big deal, okay?
It's, it's, it's treatable.
You, wait, wait. You
freaking cheated on me?
I mean, it's not, it's
not a big deal, okay?
Like it's (speaking faintly).
(high-pitched tone blaring)
You carry the disease.
What? No, no, no. (Sobbing)
He carries the curse.
(Jessica sobbing)
Oh, please, don't.
It's like, I'm being treated. (Whimpering)
(Koala King growling) (claws rasping)
(Liam whimpering)
Oh, God, oh, my God.
(Jessica gasping)
(body thudding)
- Oh, God.
- The disease is death.
- No, oh, God, no, Jess.
- Dude, we gotta leave
Liam, we gotta leave.
(door clattering) (brooding music)
Stevo.
Mate. (Brooding music continues)
We had a deal.
Your friend was insufficient.
We shook on it.
I touched your grubby fucking paw and all.
Get outta here, you kids.
Fuck off while you still can.
(Liam whimpering)
[Ollie] Hey, we gotta
move. Hey, we gotta move.
- We gotta move.
- Go, go, go, go, go, go.
[Ollie] Come on.
I'm so sorry, Jess.
Fucking Yanks.
You drunken fool.
Fucking drop bears.
You know, you're a
shitty mascot for Australia.
(laughs) Ironic. (Tense music)
(Koala King growling)
(dramatic music)
(Bazza screaming and grunting)
(body thudding)
(rod clanging)
(Koala King growling)
(dramatic music continues)
Now you're a big boy.
(Koala King growling)
(door clattering) (pensive music)
[Soldier] Clear.
[Soldier] There's a little one here.
- Halt.
- Halt.
[Soldier] Movement up ahead.
(koala cooing) (brooding music)
(soldiers laughing)
(koala cooing)
(soldiers laughing)
All this fuss over a cute koala. (Laughs)
(koala cooing)
(feet shuffling) (koala continues cooing)
(koala screeching)
(blood squelching) (koala
continues screeching)
(body thudding)
(brooding music)
(paws pattering)
(drop bears growling)
(brooding music continues)
(gunshot blasting)
(drop bears growling)
Attack.
(paws pattering)
(gunshots blasting) (dramatic music)
Too many, too many, I'm out of bullets.
Attack. (Gunshots blasting)
(soldiers yelling indistinctly)
(gunshots blasting)
(dramatic music continues)
Every one.
(gunshots blasting)
Retreat.
(gunshots blasting)
Let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go.
(gunshots blasting)
(dramatic music continues)
(drop bear screeching) (brooding music)
(Bazza screaming) (dramatic music)
(Koala King growling)
(Bazza screaming)
(dramatic music continues)
(Koala King growling)
(Bazza screaming)
(dramatic music continues)
(Bazza grunting)
(rod thudding) (Koala King groaning)
(Bazza screaming)
(rod thudding) (Koala King groaning)
That's for fucking Stevo.
A fighter then?
Better believe it.
(Bazza screaming)
(Bazza groans) (dramatic music continues)
You fought well.
(Koala King grunts) (bones cracking)
(body thudding) (pensive music)
(brooding music)
(gunshots blasting)
(drop bears growling)
(gunshots continue blasting)
Gunner.
[Gunner] Yes, Sarge.
(gunshots blasting) (drop bears screeching)
(device beeps)
(drop bears growling) (gunshots blasting)
There's so many of 'em.
The second one.
(device beeps)
Got second charger on.
All right, pull back.
(drop bears growling) (gunshots blasting)
All right, go, go, go, go.
Go, go. (Gunshots blasting)
Take that. (Device beeping)
(explosion blasting)
(brooding music)
Dammit, run, run,
run, run, run, run, run.
- Ollie.
- What?
(pensive music) (crickets chirping)
(button clicks)
She's gone.
Sorry, Jess.
Uh, hey, why, why the hell
do you have Jessica's bag?
I thought we might need it.
Why the hell do we need Jessica's bag?
What is that? What, what is, what is that?
It's her medipen.
Since when do they make
medipens for chlamydia?
Wait, wait, wait.
The, the Koala King, he, he lost his shit
when he heard that Liam had chlamydia.
That's gotta mean something, right?
- The disease changed him.
- Yeah.
What?
I have chlamydia?
(commander laughs)
That fixed 'em.
(brooding music)
What the fuck?
(footsteps plodding) (Koala King growling)
You come into our
house and kill my family.
(Koala King growling)
(footsteps plodding)
Light him up.
(gunshots blasting) (dramatic music)
(Koala King laughing)
(soldier yelling indistinctly)
Gunner, wait.
(Koala King grunts) (Gunner gasping)
(hand thudding)
(bone cracking) (Gunner screaming)
(arm thuds)
(Koala King grunts)
(Koala King laughs)
Fuck.
(footsteps plodding) (Koala King growling)
Get outta here.
Retreat. (Gunshots blasting)
Go, go, go.
(pensive music)
We're not getting
outta this alive, are we?
Not if we finish this.
Got a plan?
We set a trap.
(dramatic music)
(gunshots blasting)
(Koala King growling)
(gunshots blasting)
Slow down, slow down.
(soldier yelling indistinctly)
(gunshots blasting)
Let's go.
I'm out. Got my sidearm.
(Koala King growling) (footsteps plodding)
- Well, we're fucked.
- Yeah.
(Koala King sniffing)
[Koala King] The disease.
(Koala King sniffing)
(footsteps plodding) (pensive music)
Target stopped engaging, leaving.
It's hunting something.
(static hissing)
It's not over yet. Let's go.
(footsteps plodding)
(birds chirping)
(medipen rasping) (Liam groaning)
Jesus, Em.
Your blood carries it.
If we get this into him, it might kill him.
So we're injecting the
mutant koala with Liam's blood?
- Exactly.
- Makes sense to me.
(sighs) Worth a shot.
(feet pattering)
(Koala King growling)
(brooding music) (feet pattering)
(Koala King growling)
(Liam grunts) (chainsaw buzzing)
(chainsaw roaring)
(brooding music continues)
(medipen clanking) (tense music)
(brooding music)
(Koala King growling)
The disease lives in you.
Yeah? Well, you're about to catch it.
Come at me, you fucking punk.
(Koala King growling)
(chainsaw buzzing)
(chainsaw thuds)
(chainsaw buzzing) (blood squelching)
(Liam groans)
(body thudding)
No.
(Koala King growling)
Okay, okay. (Brooding music)
(Ollie speaking faintly)
(Koala King growling)
(electricity hissing) (Koala King groaning)
(dramatic music)
(Liam grunts)
(Koala King growling)
(chainsaw buzzing)
(flesh squelching)
(chainsaw thuds)
(hand thudding)
[Koala King] You are nothing but filth.
(Liam gasping) (dramatic music continues)
(electricity hissing) (Koala King groaning)
(syringe rasping) (Emily screaming)
(electricity hissing)
(dramatic music continues)
(feet thudding)
(Koala King growling)
Fuck you.
(Koala King groaning) (Ollie laughs)
What's the matter, asshole?
You afraid of a little scratch? (Laughs)
(fist thudding) (blood squelching)
- Dammit.
- No.
(Liam groaning)
(Koala King growling) (blood squelching)
(body thudding)
Liam.
(Liam coughs) (brooding music)
(Emily panting)
(Ollie exhales)
(blood squelching)
(birds chirping) (chainsaw buzzing)
(Ollie and Emily whimpering)
(Koala King growling)
(Emily panting) (chainsaw buzzing)
Die, you eucalyptus-chomping
motherfucker.
(Koala King growling) (chainsaw buzzing)
(Emily screaming) (blood squelching)
(Ollie screaming) (chainsaw buzzing)
(blood squelching)
(chainsaw continues buzzing)
(Emily screaming) (flesh squelching)
(body thudding)
(Emily gasping)
(Ollie laughing)
(blood squelching) (chainsaw thuds)
(Emily gasping)
(birds chirping) (Ollie gasping)
(feet shuffling) (pensive music)
(Emily gasping)
(feet pattering)
(birds chirping) (feet continue pattering)
(Emily gasping)
(feet pattering)
Looks like you guys had a rough night.
[Ollie And Emily] No help from you.
You're late.
Not my fault.
You were supposed to be dead by now.
You're free to go. (Birds chirping)
Just like that?
After all this, you're just
gonna let us walk away?
Who's gonna fucking believe you anyway?
Let's bag this up.
(birds chirping) (solemn music)
(footsteps plodding)
(solemn music continues)
(pensive music)
(birds squawking) (pensive music continues)
God, I get it now.
You want something real.
(vehicle whooshing) (birds squawking)
Hey, hey, yes, stop, stop, stop.
Hey, hey, hey.
Stop, stop, stop. (Engine humming)
Hey, stop, stop.
THe bloody hell happened to you two?
- Long night.
- Yeah.
- Where you headed?
- Anywhere will be fine.
All right, jump in.
(blanket thuds)
- Oh, okay.
(birds chirping)
(Ollie grunts)
(Ollie gasping) (engine humming)
(wind rustling) (birds chirping)
(traffic whooshing)
(feet shuffling) (traffic
continues whooshing)
(latch clicking)
(fingers tapping)
(door clattering)
(fingers continue tapping)
Looks like you two have had a big one.
We need help.
There's something out there, man.
We, we were, we were
attacked by, by these things.
We barely made it out alive.
- Yeah.
- Our friends are dead.
Wait, what things?
Dropbears.
(officer laughing)
Dropbears, yeah, good
one, mate, drop bears.
This isn't a fucking
joke, man. They're real.
(officer laughing)
So who put me up for this one, eh?
Was it Darryl?
It was Darryl, wasn't it?
(laughs) Oh, bloody Darryl.
Dropbears.
Listen, if you two don't tell
me exactly what happened,
you can piss off back to the hostel.
Got it?
(fingers tapping)
(door clattering)
Bloody crackheads. (Laughs)
(leaves rustling) (pensive music)
(feet shuffling)
The world is so fucked.
(feet shuffling) (pensive music continues)
(birds squawking)
(birds chirping) (pensive music continues)
(brooding music)
(pensive music resumes)
(traffic whooshing) (mellow music)
If ya go Down Under,
well, ya better beware
They have got a creature
that they call the drop bear
He hangs in the trees,
and he waits for his prey
If you're in the wrong place,
it might be your last day
(traffic whooshing)
(mellow music continues)
Some people walk around
with forks in their hair
To ward off attacks
from the viscous drop bear
He'll drop from the trees
Then he'll tear up your face
If you ever go to that Down Under place
People tried the
toothpaste behind the ears
The dropbear's been
laughing about that for years
He's found in the forest,
and he's found on the range
The story of the drop
bear is admittedly strange
(mellow music continues)
A drop bear attacks
in the day or the night
To keep him away,
people try what you might
If ya go for a walk, wear
some sensible shoes
Don't let the drop bear
get the first drop on you
(mellow music continues)
(laid-back guitar music)
(laid-back guitar music continues)
(laid-back guitar music continues)
(eerie music)
(brooding music)
(fingers tapping)
(phone ringing)
(worker murmuring)
(phone clanking)
Yep.
[Caller] Please hold for the president.
(pensive music)
(phone clanking)
[President] I'm hearing a
lot of excuses down there,
big excuses.
You told me you'd have results by now.
Where are my assets?
There's been a,
a complication.
[President] You were
supposed to be the tough guy.
I was told you could handle this.
A lot of people said you could handle this,
but I don't see any handling.
I see a mess.
The experiment worked
maybe a little too well.
We, uh, lost containment.
[President] That's what I
love about you Australians,
always finding new ways to screw it up.
You fix this, and then you
deliver because if you don't,
I'll find somebody who can.
(phone clanking)
(phone beeping)
(phone thudding)
(phone clanking)
(dramatic music)
(footsteps plodding)
(paint splashing) (painter grunts)
(footsteps plodding)
(pensive music)
(brooding music)
(pensive music)
(fire crackling)
(camper chattering indistinctly)
[Camper] You know, the
people in Bali are just so kind.
[Camper] But is it cheap still?
'Cause I heard from a
mate, he was like, he went,
he went there thinking
it was gonna be cheap,
and all of a sudden,
cost him a fucking fortune.
[Camper] Yeah, I, I go
there so much now, though,
I'm like a local.
Like, I don't say at all
the, the real busy places.
- Yeah.
- Like, I go to Kuta.
I know some of the
language like nasi goreng.
I think that goes a long way.
- What's that?
- Nasi goreng, I'm not sure.
- What's it mean?
- But I say it a lot.
Get on the plane, like, "Nasi goreng."
I think it means, like,
rice that's fried with stuff.
[Camper] Mate, I think
you are fried. (Laughs)
[Camper] I've been
to Bali, like, 25 times,
and I, look, I really,
I, you, you are a man
with ambition who
doesn't care if he's wrong,
- and you just go about.
- Mm-hmm.
All right guys, I... (grunts)
[Camper] Oh, oh. (Laughs)
(camper coughing)
I got it. I got it.
(beer sloshing) (fire crackling)
[Camper] Oh, that's a fucking real,
that's a, that's a real man.
(camper grunts)
Oh. (Burp erupting)
(camper exhales)
[Camper] Now that's a nasi goreng.
Yep. (Sniffs)
I reckon it's pee-pee time.
[Camper] Yeah, all right.
[Camper] Oh.
[Camper] You sure you're not
gonna have a chunder, are ya?
- I'll be all right.
- You sure?
Thinking custardy custard.
Have another one, mate. (Camper coughing)
(camper laughing)
Oh, fuck. (Footsteps plodding)
[Camper] Go ahead and take one, mate.
(feet pattering)
- Oh, fucking hell. (Laughs)
- Jesus.
[Camper] All right, apparently,
the tent's set to do ya, mate.
[Camper] Yeah,
especially when you're ugly.
(campers chattering indistinctly)
(camper breathing
heavily) (footsteps plodding)
(camper grunts) (footsteps
continue plodding)
(zipper whizzing)
(urine pattering)
(camper groans) (pensive music)
(brooding music) (urine pattering)
What the fuck?
(drop bear growling)
(drop bear screeching)
(dramatic music)
(drop bear growling)
(fire crackling) (brooding music)
(rope creaking) (pensive music)
(brooding music)
(dramatic music)
(pensive music)
(rope creaking)
(birds chirping) (pensive music continues)
(bag clattering)
(hand smacking)
(bag clattering)
(bag thuds)
Where the hell is this guy?
Maybe we got scammed.
Yeah, Liam definitely
got us scammed. (Laughs)
Babe, look. Trust me.
This, this is the real Australia, right?
- Right.
- Out here in the wild.
You know, man versus nature.
Yeah, sounds great.
You know, Australia
has more deadly animals
per square mile than anywhere on earth.
(Liam laughs)
Kilometers.
What?
Per square kilometer.
Uh, sweetheart, I don't follow.
Nevermind.
Saltwater crocs,
taipans, funnel web spiders,
death adders, there are so
many, and I wanna see 'em all.
Please keep going, Ollie.
Man, I love this guy.
Yeah. (Laughs)
He knows his shit, man.
(Liam and Ollie laughing)
Yeah, yeah, we're gonna see some,
we're gonna see some
real wildlife out here.
Are you okay, champ?
What?
Oh, this heat, you know?
Like you got ants in your pants, Liam.
Just tingling sensation, that's all.
- Mm.
- Weird.
So after this, what's next?
What?
You mean after we survive the
most deadly country on earth?
Yeah, I mean, like,
where are we going to next?
Well, there's so much stuff to see.
We could go to Patagonia
or, or, or, or, or the Pacific Trail.
I mean, you would love the Pacific Trail.
Or we could go somewhere
and, like, stay awhile.
Uh, yeah, I mean, yeah, we could,
(laughs) but I mean, where's fun in that?
Yeah, where's the fun in that?
Right.
(engine humming) (birds chirping)
Wait, guys. Is that,
that's, that's Stevo, guys.
- Oh.
- Stevo.
- Stevo.
- Stevey.
(engine humming) (laid-back music)
- Stevey.
- Whoa.
- Come back.
- Good day.
Whoa, God. (Gravel crunching)
(travelers chattering indistinctly)
- All right, man.
- Whoo.
(door clattering)
(footsteps plodding)
(foot thuds)
G'day, folks.
Welcome, you bloody
legends, to the Stevo Irving
Crocodile Punter Extreme
Wildlife Experience.
(hands smacking)
(Stevo laughs)
And you're about to have
the most bat shit insane
Aussie adventure of your lives.
- Yeah.
- Whoo.
(Stevo laughs) - How
the bloody hell are ya?
No, I don't think
this is the legit Steve.
Definitely not. (Fingers snapping)
Hey, go chuck your bags in the back,
strap in, and let's gets you out
to where the real action
happens, eh? (Laughs)
Oh, (whistles) Bazza here'll make sure
we've got the right people
and that your waiter performs a song.
(clipboard clattering)
Bloody sausage fingers. (Laughs)
(Liam laughs)
If I get murdered out
here, my mom's suing.
Get murdered out here, and
no one's gonna find our bodies.
Trust me.
You'll be telling your
grandkids about this trip.
If you survive.
(Stevo and Bazza laughing)
Joking, you're all right. Come on.
(Stevo and Bazza laughing)
- Yes.
- Come on.
- That's our job.
- It's not fucking funny.
[Stevo] No rest for the wicked. (Laughs)
(engine roaring) (laid-back guitar music)
Hey, Mr. Irving, I think
you're going a little fast.
Mate, if you're not
flying, you're not driving.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, boy.
I hate this.
This is sick.
Where exactly are we going?
First step on your
official Aussie initiation,
opal fossick.
What about the drop bears?
Mate, they only come out at dusk.
- The drop bears aren't real.
- Yeah.
Aren't they?
I lost my cousin to a drop bear, mate.
- No way.
- Yes way.
Swear on me Mom's grave if she were dead.
Took his head clean off.
Cool.
This is so stupid.
Is that right, sweetheart?
Be shitting bricks soon enough.
(Liam laughs)
What?
(truck rumbling)
(laid-back guitar music continues)
Now if you look out here, what you'll see
is pristine Aussie living.
There's no cities. There's no traffic.
There's no rules.
That's right.
[Stevo] Just you and nature.
(Jessica grunts)
Oh, for fuck's sake.
Babe, gotta soak it in.
Yeah? Soak this in.
No service, Wi-Fi, there's no point.
Hey, uh, what's that place?
(engine humming)
It's just an old research facility, mate.
It's, uh, been shut down for years.
It's nothing interesting, mate.
(pensive music)
(engine humming) (pensive music continues)
(engine continues
humming) (laid-back music)
(gear stick clattering)
(engine humming)
(brakes squeaking)
(doors clattering)
(feet thudding)
All right.
(Stevo inhaling) (door clattering)
Ah.
That's the smell of the
real Aussie Outback.
Yeah, smells like home. (Liam coughing)
- Oh, Jesus Christ.
- Bro, bro, what is that?
Oh, oh, God.
Oh, my God.
(flies buzzing) (birds chirping)
Well, looks like we
found dinner. (Laughs)
Oh, that's disgusting. (Gagging)
What the hell did that?
(Bazza and Stevo laughing)
That's nature, mate.
It's the circle of life.
[Bazza] Yep.
Or some lion shit. (Flies buzzing)
This isn't a dingo kill.
The wounds are too precise.
Should we be worried?
We're all right, sweetheart,
top of the food chain out here.
Yeah, usually.
Ah, don't breathe near me. (Bazza laughs)
Right. (Hands thudding)
First things first, we set up camp,
we get a fire going, and
then the real fun begins.
Folks, chop, chop.
- Okay.
- Let's get ready.
Come on.
(laid-back guitar music)
(sticks clattering)
(tent rustling)
Hey, um, I'm not sure
I'm feeling it this time.
Every time, it's getting
more riskier, mate.
Come on, Baz.
You're acting like we've had a problem.
It's not about if we've got a problem.
It's about when we've got a problem.
Baz, we do what we always do.
We take 'em out for a good time.
We give 'em up for few scares,
make sure they leave
lighter than they came.
And if they don't fucking leave?
Then we take care
of it like we always do.
Yeah, (sighs) I don't know, mate.
The last lot were pretty messy.
Gotta work for the cash, mate.
(Bazza laughs)
Sure. (Birds chirping)
I just don't think I'm
feeling it this time.
Baz, all you're feeling is
our screaming hangover.
(hand thudding) (Bazza laughs)
All right? (Pensive music)
Come on. Get your head straight, mate.
(laid-back guitar music)
(tent rustling)
Hey.
Bow don't go there, sweetheart.
You're not building a
modern art piece, are ya?
(Bazza laughs)
You could help instead
of finishing a 10th beer.
[Stevo] Ooh. (Whistles)
Ooh.
You want some Bazza, do ya?
Well, Bazza can't
(shirt rustling)
Because Bazza is on wood.
Good idea, Baz, good idea.
- Fucking great.
- All right.
Heigh-ho, heigh-ho,
off to chop wood I go
(pensive music)
(saw buzzing)
(clears throat) Now fire,
fire is the heart of the camp.
It takes patience.
It's an ancient survival art.
You need to respect the process, all right?
Yeah. (Clearing throat)
(twigs clattering)
(Stevo exhales)
Riveting. (Twigs clattering)
You sure you know what you're
Course I bloody know.
It's in my blood.
Can't we just use a lighter?
Nope, fucking nope.
Let me show you how the pros do it.
(twigs clattering)
There's no shortcuts.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know,
whatever, fucking flippety flop.
Uh, that, that, that
seems a little dangerous.
Mate, that's the point.
(Stevo grunting) No pain, no gain.
Oi, oi.
Come on. (Twigs clattering)
Ya like fire, do ya, little man?
- I love fire.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Ya fucking love it?
- Yeah.
- Ya love it?
- Yeah.
Yeah? Well, fucking move back.
No, come a little closer.
- Oh, okay.
- Yeah, stop.
- All right.
- Just kidding.
Fuck off. Get back.
Stevo, you're gonna want to move back a bit
unless you want your cock burned again.
- Oh, oh.
- Oh, fucking yes.
You're gonna wanna move... This is my part
- of the show.
- Outta way, way, mate.
This is my... You're gonna wanna move
outta the way.
Bazza, fucking hell, Bazza.
Bazza.
Wait, Baz. This is my, fuck.
Trying to kill me.
(lighter clicking)
- Oh.
- Fucking hell, Baz.
(fire roaring)
- Whoa.
- Holy shit.
- The fuck?
God, get up.
Holy shit.
- Dude.
- It is going now.
That was sick.
Yes, mate, that was fucking sick.
That was sicker than a kid with leukemia.
(Stevo gasping) (fire crackling)
I fucking would've done
it another minute or so.
Shoulda, would a,
could a, but fucking didn't.
Fuck's sake, Bazza,
every fucking time, mate.
Yep.
Your tent's still fucked, by the way.
Fuck's sake, Bazza.
Chop, chop on your tents,
and there's two ways of doing fires,
you know, the traditional
ancient survival art way,
which is what I was teaching
you, which I am an expert in,
um, which is you're rubbing it together,
and then there's Bazza's
way, which is methylated spirits
Why didn't you... and flammable liquids.
Mate, fuck's sake.
These guys are fucking crazy.
(leaves rustling)
(fire crackling)
(Bazza snoring)
(birds chirping) (fire crackling)
(hands smacking)
Right, now that we're all settled,
it's time for a little Aussie adventure.
(laughs) Oh.
Ooh.
Yay, more.
Have you ever heard of fossicking?
Fossicking.
Fossicking, babe, huh? (Laughs)
Fossicking.
- Fossicking.
- Yeah, you mean
like digging for gemstones?
There's someone who knows.
You lucky bastards are
gonna be hunting for opals.
Sick, let's do it. (Laughs)
I hate everything about this.
Oh, come on, babe.
Wait, Baz, Baz, Baz.
Fuck, I'm up.
Go scout ahead. Get the good stuff, eh?
Oh, yeah, fuck yeah.
(chair creaking) (fire crackling)
Right, now Bazza here is
gonna go for a little walkabout,
but don't worry about him
because, in the meantime, you, me,
all of us are gonna be hunting
for the jewels of the bush.
- Oh.
- 'Kay?
So strap in. Get yourselves ready.
Let's get stuck in, shall we?
Right, chop, chop, let's get going.
(laughs) Oh, strap in and strap on.
- Chop, chop.
- Oh, oh.
Milady.
Right this way. (Pensive music)
(door clattering)
(glove box clattering)
(paper rustling)
(stones rattling) (pensive music continues)
That'll do.
(glove box clattering)
(door clattering) (pensive music continues)
Yeah, that'll do.
That's good, Baz. That's good, man.
Hide-and-seek champion 1995.
(footsteps plodding)
(pensive music continues)
(stone clanking)
(footsteps plodding)
(pensive music continues)
(birds chirping) (footsteps
continue plodding)
(branch clattering)
(footsteps plodding)
(pensive music continues)
(birds chirping) (pensive music continues)
(footsteps plodding)
Dumb bloody Yanks.
(footsteps plodding)
(laid-back music)
(hikers chattering indistinctly)
Did you even bring wipes?
(hikers chattering indistinctly)
Careful with that one. That's a big one.
(Emily laughs)
You guys are all right.
It's just the local wildlife.
(footsteps plodding)
All right, folks. (Clears throat)
Opals could be anywhere.
Whoo.
What the hell are we digging for?
Whoo. (Laughs)
(hikers chattering indistinctly)
Whoo, (clears throat)
would ya look at that?
[Liam] Oh.
(Stevo grunting)
An opal.
Oh, it's beautiful, Stevo.
You found that in a tree?
Oh, you see, Aussie wildlife,
Aussie birds sometimes grab
'em and stash 'em in trees.
Aw. (Laughs)
That doesn't sound right.
What are you, some sort of expert
in Aussie geology there, mate?
Opals form underground. They're mined.
They're not just laying around in trees.
I knew it. This whole thing's a scam.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Yeah.
[Stevo] Here, have a look, mate.
No, no, no, it's real,
and it's, and it's beautiful,
and you know what?
I'm gonna call it Jess.
[Emily] Aw. (Liam laughs)
[Stevo] That's the way, Liam.
That was planted.
Hey, let's not jump to, uh, you know,
to any conclusions or anything.
(Emily screaming)
Holy shit.
Oh, my... Oh, oh.
Oh, my, my God. (Snake hissing)
- Get her back.
- Oh, God, did you see that?
Oh. (Emily screaming)
Stevo.
Halt this minute.
Stand back. Stand back.
If you don't move, it won't.
(snake hissing)
Fuck.
- Oh.
- No, no.
- Hey, hey.
- Ollie.
- Kill it, Stevo.
- Kill that bastard.
Lucifer Morningstar in serpent form.
(dramatic music)
[Jessica] Holy fucking shit.
(Bazza screaming)
Bazza, no.
Fuck off, snake.
(Bazza grunting) (shovel thudding)
Break him. Kill it.
Kill that bastard. Kill it.
(Bazza grunting) (shovel thudding)
Yeah.
(Jessica whimpering)
- Oh.
- Steve.
- Steve.
(laughs) Oh, that was fucking amazing.
Oh, I swore, dammit.
Oh, my God.
Bazza just saved our lives.
I, uh, I totally had under control.
You? You fucking asshole.
You just ran behind me. I could have died.
No, uh, I tactically retreated
to reposition myself to attack.
No, mate, you prayed.
No, I didn't.
I'm a, I'm an expert in
black belt martial arts,
and sensei says sometimes
you've gotta reposition yourself to attack,
and that's what I did.
Hope you're not paying
for those classes, mate,
'cause you're fucking shit.
More opals to be
found, so, uh, cheers, Baz.
Just go find the opals, dude.
[Stevo] Well done, all right.
I'll clean up. I'll see you back at camp.
[Stevo] All right, you can fuck off.
Right, okay, um.
Okay, let's go.
I just saw a snake.
[Stevo] Come on, shall we?
- Come on, big boy.
- Wow.
This way, babe.
- All right, lads.
- I guess we can go.
(grass rustling)
(crickets chirping)
(fire crackling)
(pensive music) (fire continues crackling)
(Stevo slurping)
[Stevo] Mm.
Mm.
(fire crackling) (pensive music continues)
Authentic bush tucker.
Hey. (Fingers snapping)
This is authentic Aussie bush tucker.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, excuse me.
There is nothing better
than a can of baked beans,
especially when you get
it for a buck from Chippy.
Fuck, that's cheap.
- It's fucking cheap.
- I love a,
I love a bargain.
(fire crackling) (pensive music continues)
[Stevo] Mm.
Mm.
Man, I really wanna wrestle a croc.
(Ollie laughs)
Yeah, uh, you would
lose that fight. Trust me.
Ollie.
You okay?
Yeah, I'm just tired,
Babe, you're always tired.
(Ollie and Liam laughing)
I'm sorry.
What's that?
Oh, nothing.
You have to tell him sooner or later.
It... (sighs)
Hey, we should be
careful out here at night.
In Australia, there are
so many ways to kill you.
Like Bazza, blah.
(Bazza and Stevo laughing)
- That was a good one, Baz.
- Yeah, it was.
(Liam laughs)
Hey, Bazzar, have you ever actually seen
anyone get killed out here?
(Bazza laughs)
Not yet, mate, but
there's always tomorrow.
(Bazza laughs)
I had a mate once.
He was a big bloke.
Went by the name Mullet Mick.
He claimed that he wrestled a drop bear
with his bare hands.
A few days later, we found him half eaten,
dangling from a gumtree.
Miss you, Mick.
The coroner chalked
it up as a dog attack,
but I know better.
Sure, and you didn't
see or hear anything?
Oh, no, I was shitfaced.
- (scoffs) Yeah, no kidding.
- Yeah.
You know, if these
drop bears really exist,
kinda wanna see one and wrestle it.
My dear legends, it's time for you to see
some real Aussie horror.
Who's ready to meet
the dreaded drop bear?
Yes, oh, sorry. (Fist thudding)
My God, no one thinks this is real, 'kay?
Because they're not.
Hey, that's what the bloody
drop bear wants you to think.
Yeah, uh, Bazza's gotta
go take a slash and a shit,
both at the same time.
Eat up, yeah? (Liam laughs)
I don't really like it.
Hey, Stevo, where do we shit?
(crickets chirping) (fire crackling)
You walk over there just outta sight.
You dig a hole. You drop your daks.
You squat like a real
man. You shit in the hole.
But how do we wipe?
There's enough twigs to go around, champ.
I'll hold it.
(pensive music)
(animal howling) (crickets chirping)
Hey, uh, think we could
spend a year out here?
You know, full bush survival.
- No.
- What?
Come on. Think about it.
You, me, the stars,
you know, maybe a dingo or two.
Jesus, Ollie.
Not everything has to be another trip.
What?
What, what's that supposed to mean?
Emily? (Pensive music continues)
(footsteps plodding)
Gather round, you legends,
and prepare for the
terror of the drop bear.
(Stevo growling)
(Stevo exhales)
All right, come on. Let's go.
Let's go.
(footsteps plodding) (fire crackling)
(suspenseful music)
Dropbears hunt from the canopy.
They're fast, silent, brutal killers.
Now you follow me, and ya
keep your bloody heads down.
[Liam] Got your back.
Dropbears are sneaky little bastards.
(crickets chirping)
(suspenseful music continues)
Hey, Jess, we need to talk.
Not now, okay?
Jess, you need to tell him.
(sighs) Don't you dare
lecture me about this, okay?
He's gonna figure it out sooner or later.
(Jessica sighs)
(footsteps plodding)
Right, you two coming or what?
You're gonna miss the big show.
Just stay out of it, 'kay?
(footsteps plodding)
Hey, if they're so dangerous,
how come there's no documented attacks?
It's a government coverup, mate.
That makes sense.
No, it doesn't.
(Stevo groans)
- Dude.
- I watch Guy.com.
They talk about that
sort of stuff all the time.
(footsteps plodding)
(pensive music continues)
They hunt from above, watching, waiting,
ready to attack, like a puma.
(footsteps plodding) (crickets chirping)
Oh.
There.
(crickets chirping)
(pump clattering)
Anytime now, mate.
Come on, ya bastard.
(liquid splashing) (Bazza groaning)
Ah, fuck.
- What the hell?
- Jesus, ah, come on.
Whoa.
(Bazza groaning) Oh, oh.
The dropbear's got him.
- He's got me, he's got me.
Oh, oh, Bazza's under attack.
Dropbear's got him.
- It's on me, it's on me.
- Oh, Bazza's under attack.
What a world, what a world.
- No, oh.
- Crikey Moses.
- This is pathetic.
- This is so fake.
(Bazza groans)
(crickets chirping) (Bazza gasping)
Mate, how dare you play
such a stupid joke on our friends?
- Me?
- Yes, you.
You, been your shit show from the start.
Crazy fucking...
(animal growling)
Was that from the speaker?
(crickets chirping)
(drop bear screeching and thudding)
(Bazza screaming)
Bazza. (Drop bear screeching)
(laughs) Oh, wow, what a breakout.
What the fuck?
Oh, this trip has been worth it.
(drop bear screeching) (Liam laughs)
That's not fake.
(drop bear screeching) (Bazza screaming)
Bazza.
(Bazza grunting) (blood squelching)
(body thudding) (pensive music)
(onlooker gasps)
(Ollie gagging)
(Ollie retching)
Run.
(Jessica screaming)
- Oh, God.
No, no, it's all part of the show.
(drop bear growling)
(Stevo screaming) (brooding music)
(dramatic music) (hikers screaming)
(paws pattering) (hikers
continue screaming)
- Oh, God.
- Oh, my God.
(Jessica screaming)
(drop bears growling) (paws pattering)
(drop bears growling)
(dramatic music continues)
[Jessica] Help me.
[Ollie] We're all finished.
(drop bears growling)
(dramatic music continues)
(drop bears thudding) (hikers screaming)
(drop bears growling)
(dramatic music continues)
This way, run, run,
run, run, run, run, run.
(drop bears growling) (paws pattering)
(pensive music)
(crickets chirping)
(gate squeaking) (pensive music continues)
(gate clattering) (crickets chirping)
What is this place?
Looks like some kind of research lab.
Oh, oh, so we're just gonna go in there,
in some creepy-ass building
in the middle of nowhere
where those freak animals were chasing us?
Guys, I'm done, I'm done, I'm done.
I've had it, okay?
I'm done with these psycho doors
and these half-baked survival stunts, okay?
I want a phone. I want a hotel.
I need a plane ticket home,
- like, now.
- Babe, it's gonna be
No, no, It's your fault, both of you,
you fucking idiots.
Extreme Aussie Outback my ass. (Screams)
Just I hate it.
I hate it.
We're gonna end up dead
because you two thought this would be fun.
I can't believe you drug me out here.
There might be somebody in
there, maps, a radio, anything.
[Liam] Is that door
locked? (Hand thudding)
It's unlocked.
We've gotta try.
Of course, are you fucking stupid?
Come on.
Please, I don't wanna die.
There's gotta be another way.
[Ollie] Just hurry up, Jessica.
(latch clicking) (pensive music continues)
Look, I don't wanna go in here either,
but it's better than being out here.
Fine, but if anything jumps at me,
punching someone in the dick, asshole.
God.
(door thuds)
(switch clicks) (electricity buzzing)
(brooding music)
(feet shuffling) (brooding music continues)
Is that human?
Don't ask questions
we don't want answers to.
(feet shuffling) (pensive music continues)
Holy shit.
(electricity hissing)
That's insane. (Laughs)
Are you enjoying this?
I'm not enjoying this.
I mean, uh, that was pretty
Ollie, this is not some
Goddamn adventure.
We nearly died.
Yeah, but we, we made it out.
- That's what's important.
- No.
That's not what matters.
What matters is I'm so
sick of constantly running.
What, what are you talking about?
I don't wanna live like this anymore.
I don't wanna be chased
from place to place,
constantly looking for the next thrill.
I want something real.
Since, since when?
Since forever, just you never listened.
(pensive music continues)
(feet shuffling)
(jet engine roaring)
(fingers tapping) (pensive music continues)
Civilians, how did they get there?
Power spike re-lit the grid.
Cameras came online five minutes ago
when the tourists threw the breaker.
Contact HQ.
I want full IDs, socials scrub.
We can't afford to have them
live stream a classified site.
Copy.
(hand knocking)
Sir.
Gunner.
The file says a primary specimen
was never fully neutralized.
Old folklore, stay on target, Gunner.
With all due respect, sir,
the vets say this is the
biggest thing they'd ever seen.
They call it the king.
If this thing's still out
there and still breathing,
those kids just kicked a hornet's nest.
Unidentified thermal
contact, 300 kilos plus.
(pensive music continues)
Gear up the team, non-lethal if possible.
Make it happen. (Hand thudding)
Yes, Commander.
Get onto HQ. Let 'em
know we're on our way.
Yes, sir.
Instructions from the old man,
tourists come out breathing.
Anything else, human or
otherwise, gets dropped.
Failing that, the
commander's gonna firebomb
the entire grid.
- Aye aye, Sarge.
- Yeah.
(determined music) (zipper whizzing)
(equipment rasping and clattering)
(zipper whizzing)
(button clicks) (equipment rasping)
(gun clanking)
(equipment rasping)
(zipper whizzing)
(equipment rasping)
(determined music continues)
(guns clanking)
(equipment rasping)
(gun clanking)
Let's get it before it feeds.
(engine whirring)
(helicopter whirring)
(board creaking)
(pensive music)
Um, guys.
Kinda dinosaur tape is that?
Prehistoric, my dad
has a whole collection
of these stealing their
wrappers for some reason.
(tape rasping and clattering)
This is Dr. Alan Reese,
lead researcher on project,
it doesn't matter anymore.
This is our final log.
If anyone finds this, you need
to understand what we did.
We tried to be safe. We really did.
The vaccine worked.
The chlamydia, it was cured,
but the side effects, we didn't understand.
The aggression, the intelligence,
we were told to put them down,
erase all evidence, but one escaped.
[Supervisor] Turn it off.
We need to tell someone.
- I said turn it off.
- No, no.
(camera clattering)
That was fucked up.
It's a joke, right?
It's part of the experience we paid for.
(Koala King growling)
[Ollie] Oh.
Holy shit.
Oh, this can't be real.
Do I not look real to you?
This is a pleasant surprise.
What are you?
A survivor.
(Koala King sniffing)
We are not alone here.
We need to get the fuck outta here.
Yeah, now.
Run along, little ones.
I'll give you a head start.
(dramatic music)
Oh, they're following us.
(drop bears growling)
(dramatic music continues)
Run, run.
There, let's go.
(Ollie grunting)
God, it's locked.
It's locked.
(doorknob clattering)
(door slamming) (pensive music)
(Jessica whimpering)
(pensive music)
Stevo.
(Stevo breathing heavily)
Ah, shit.
What the fuck is this place?
(Stevo coughs and laughs)
Welcome to the, uh,
welcome to the end of
the bloody road, mate.
What the fuck did they do to you?
(drop bears growling)
[Koala King] You can't run away.
You ran, but you ran home.
(Stevo laughing)
You should have kept running, mate.
This is, this is, oh,
my God, this is real.
(pensive music continues)
Hey, listen, mate, we had a deal.
I bring you the tourists, fresh
meat, and you let me walk.
Face it. Ya need me.
[Koala King] Need you?
Yeah, think about it.
Without me, you have
to hunt for your own food.
We had a deal.
A deal?
(pensive music continues)
(laughs) Yeah, a deal, a deal.
Uh, I bring you fresh meat,
and, uh, you keep me in one piece.
It's a win-win.
You fucking fed people to him?
Uh, it's, it's not like that, mate.
It's just, uh, business is business, yeah?
A deal?
Yes, we once believed in deals,
just as we believed your kind cared for us,
promised to cure us.
Instead, you used us,
injected us with your poisons,
twisting us into this.
Then you tried to bury your mistakes.
But you can't bury
what won't die, human.
We fed on your soldiers, your drifters,
your friends.
Every time you led them here,
you sold out your own kind,
a poor bargain, Stevo.
We don't need you. We never did.
We eat you, but we are moral.
But you,
you are just another meal.
I, I, I can fix it.
I think it's, I can fix it.
I can fix it.
I got, uh, I got more tourists to come in,
which I can, I can fix.
You disappoint me, Stevo,
selling out your own kind.
(brooding music)
I expected better.
(Stevo screaming) (bone crunching)
- No.
- Stevo.
(flesh squelching)
(Koala King growling)
No, oh, oh, God.
(Jessica whimpers)
Oh.
(flesh squelching) Oh.
Ah, Stevo.
Dude, what the fuck? Give it a rest.
I know.
Oh, oh, God, it won't stop, okay?
Why do you scratch?
Well, I, uh, oh, it's,
I think, I, I think I have
a rash or something.
It's...
Something more.
No.
(Koala King sniffs)
Your scent, it's fouled.
Fouled?
Stevo and I had an arrangement.
He brought us meat
but not diseased.
He's, he's not diseased.
It, it, it's... Mm, humans,
always carrying filth.
(helicopter whirring)
(feet thudding)
Sergeant, five clicks to the west.
[Soldier] Move out.
Look, man, I don't know
what you want me to say, but
Silence.
(fingers rasping)
Just stop scratching.
(pensive music)
So what the fuck are you?
What am I?
Hmm.
Once I was like the others,
small, soft,
loved.
I lived in the trees, in the warmth,
in the hush of the wind.
I was safe.
Then, the humans came with their cages,
with their needles.
They called it mercy, a cure,
but mercy would've been leaving us to die.
They experimented on you?
Do you know what it's like
to feel your body twist itself apart,
to feel your bones snap, and heal,
and snap again,
to feel your mind shatter piece by piece
until you don't know where the pain ends
and you begin?
(pensive music continues)
I was small.
I was soft.
I was loved.
But now,
now I am none of those things.
(finger tapping)
(flesh squelching)
Just relax, little guy.
(koala whimpering)
(syringe clanking)
(hand knocking)
(phone clanking)
Dr. Reese, we've tripled your budget.
We need verifiable results.
Maybe we should slow down the trial.
The aggression levels
are... If you're not up to it,
we'll find someone else.
Either we fix this, or we bury it.
(koala screeching)
(flesh squelching) (koala
continues screeching)
(alarm blaring)
(flesh squelching)
(cages rattling) (alarm continues blaring)
(drop bear growling)
(cage door clattering)
(drop bear growling) (doctor groaning)
(gunshots blasting) (alarm blaring)
(glass shattering)
(doctors screaming)
(blood pattering) (drop bear growling)
(alarm blaring)
(pensive music)
(birds chirping)
(birds continue chirping)
(pensive music continues)
You poor thing.
Here, come on.
I guess you're coming home with me, hmm?
Gorgeous little thing, mm.
[Koala King] I had a
human who cared for me once
until the day your kind took her away.
(fire crackling) (pensive music continues)
(door creaking)
(footsteps plodding)
(pensive music continues)
(brooding music)
Get outta my house, you bastard.
[Koala King] I ran from her house,
from the blood and the screams.
I thought I'd find peace in the wild,
but I found only more evidence
of your cruelty, (drop bear crying)
Others like me, caged and forgotten.
(birds chirping) (pensive music)
We were lost.
But together, we survived,
grew stronger.
How much further do you boys wanna walk?
Just keep going.
It's gonna be... Oh, yeah?
All right, right here.
- Here?
- Yeah, 'cause I'm lazy.
- All right.
- Yeah, go for it.
G'day, guys, welcome
back to another episode
of "Outback Escape."
(laid-back guitar music)
Today, we're camped over that hill,
and we've heard there's a
secret research facility here,
so we've come to check it out.
Of course, a secret research facility
right on the edge of
town. (Cameraman laughs)
Yeah, so I reckon we
should put a wager on it.
Look, I like the sound
of that. I like my odds.
Let's say loser has to do the dishes.
What do you reckon, Jesse? (Brooding music)
- Yeah, okay.
- Yeah, you know what?
(drop bear growling) (cameraman groaning)
(camera thuds)
(hikers gasping) (feet pattering)
(hiker screaming) (blood squelching)
(blood continues
squelching) (dramatic music)
(birds chirping)
Came back here for answers.
Found a family instead.
(crickets chirping)
(brooding music)
(footsteps plodding)
[Soldier] Clear.
(door clattering)
(suspenseful music)
(footsteps plodding)
[Soldier] Walking, we're clear.
(footsteps plodding)
(suspenseful music continues)
I don't see anything.
- Sir.
- What?
This looks fresh, bone, human.
Doc.
I don't know what that is.
Move it out, Scorpions, nice and easy.
- Clear.
- Yeah, outstanding.
[Soldier] Clear.
All right, let's get that door.
- Up.
- All right, let's go.
You all right?
(door creaking)
(soldier laughs)
- [Soldier] Get the clear.
(suspenseful music continues)
(brooding music)
(Koala King sniffs)
More humans?
(Koala King growling)
(drop bears growling) (pensive music)
(hand rasping)
The scratching, why do you scratch?
I don't know. I thought it
might have been the dry air.
But I, I don't know. I don't know.
You lie.
It's not the dry air. She gave it to you.
Wait, what?
(Koala King growling)
Jess cheated on you.
Emily, shut the fuck up.
Jess?
I'm, it's, it's not a big deal, okay?
It's, it's, it's treatable.
You, wait, wait. You
freaking cheated on me?
I mean, it's not, it's
not a big deal, okay?
Like it's (speaking faintly).
(high-pitched tone blaring)
You carry the disease.
What? No, no, no. (Sobbing)
He carries the curse.
(Jessica sobbing)
Oh, please, don't.
It's like, I'm being treated. (Whimpering)
(Koala King growling) (claws rasping)
(Liam whimpering)
Oh, God, oh, my God.
(Jessica gasping)
(body thudding)
- Oh, God.
- The disease is death.
- No, oh, God, no, Jess.
- Dude, we gotta leave
Liam, we gotta leave.
(door clattering) (brooding music)
Stevo.
Mate. (Brooding music continues)
We had a deal.
Your friend was insufficient.
We shook on it.
I touched your grubby fucking paw and all.
Get outta here, you kids.
Fuck off while you still can.
(Liam whimpering)
[Ollie] Hey, we gotta
move. Hey, we gotta move.
- We gotta move.
- Go, go, go, go, go, go.
[Ollie] Come on.
I'm so sorry, Jess.
Fucking Yanks.
You drunken fool.
Fucking drop bears.
You know, you're a
shitty mascot for Australia.
(laughs) Ironic. (Tense music)
(Koala King growling)
(dramatic music)
(Bazza screaming and grunting)
(body thudding)
(rod clanging)
(Koala King growling)
(dramatic music continues)
Now you're a big boy.
(Koala King growling)
(door clattering) (pensive music)
[Soldier] Clear.
[Soldier] There's a little one here.
- Halt.
- Halt.
[Soldier] Movement up ahead.
(koala cooing) (brooding music)
(soldiers laughing)
(koala cooing)
(soldiers laughing)
All this fuss over a cute koala. (Laughs)
(koala cooing)
(feet shuffling) (koala continues cooing)
(koala screeching)
(blood squelching) (koala
continues screeching)
(body thudding)
(brooding music)
(paws pattering)
(drop bears growling)
(brooding music continues)
(gunshot blasting)
(drop bears growling)
Attack.
(paws pattering)
(gunshots blasting) (dramatic music)
Too many, too many, I'm out of bullets.
Attack. (Gunshots blasting)
(soldiers yelling indistinctly)
(gunshots blasting)
(dramatic music continues)
Every one.
(gunshots blasting)
Retreat.
(gunshots blasting)
Let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go.
(gunshots blasting)
(dramatic music continues)
(drop bear screeching) (brooding music)
(Bazza screaming) (dramatic music)
(Koala King growling)
(Bazza screaming)
(dramatic music continues)
(Koala King growling)
(Bazza screaming)
(dramatic music continues)
(Bazza grunting)
(rod thudding) (Koala King groaning)
(Bazza screaming)
(rod thudding) (Koala King groaning)
That's for fucking Stevo.
A fighter then?
Better believe it.
(Bazza screaming)
(Bazza groans) (dramatic music continues)
You fought well.
(Koala King grunts) (bones cracking)
(body thudding) (pensive music)
(brooding music)
(gunshots blasting)
(drop bears growling)
(gunshots continue blasting)
Gunner.
[Gunner] Yes, Sarge.
(gunshots blasting) (drop bears screeching)
(device beeps)
(drop bears growling) (gunshots blasting)
There's so many of 'em.
The second one.
(device beeps)
Got second charger on.
All right, pull back.
(drop bears growling) (gunshots blasting)
All right, go, go, go, go.
Go, go. (Gunshots blasting)
Take that. (Device beeping)
(explosion blasting)
(brooding music)
Dammit, run, run,
run, run, run, run, run.
- Ollie.
- What?
(pensive music) (crickets chirping)
(button clicks)
She's gone.
Sorry, Jess.
Uh, hey, why, why the hell
do you have Jessica's bag?
I thought we might need it.
Why the hell do we need Jessica's bag?
What is that? What, what is, what is that?
It's her medipen.
Since when do they make
medipens for chlamydia?
Wait, wait, wait.
The, the Koala King, he, he lost his shit
when he heard that Liam had chlamydia.
That's gotta mean something, right?
- The disease changed him.
- Yeah.
What?
I have chlamydia?
(commander laughs)
That fixed 'em.
(brooding music)
What the fuck?
(footsteps plodding) (Koala King growling)
You come into our
house and kill my family.
(Koala King growling)
(footsteps plodding)
Light him up.
(gunshots blasting) (dramatic music)
(Koala King laughing)
(soldier yelling indistinctly)
Gunner, wait.
(Koala King grunts) (Gunner gasping)
(hand thudding)
(bone cracking) (Gunner screaming)
(arm thuds)
(Koala King grunts)
(Koala King laughs)
Fuck.
(footsteps plodding) (Koala King growling)
Get outta here.
Retreat. (Gunshots blasting)
Go, go, go.
(pensive music)
We're not getting
outta this alive, are we?
Not if we finish this.
Got a plan?
We set a trap.
(dramatic music)
(gunshots blasting)
(Koala King growling)
(gunshots blasting)
Slow down, slow down.
(soldier yelling indistinctly)
(gunshots blasting)
Let's go.
I'm out. Got my sidearm.
(Koala King growling) (footsteps plodding)
- Well, we're fucked.
- Yeah.
(Koala King sniffing)
[Koala King] The disease.
(Koala King sniffing)
(footsteps plodding) (pensive music)
Target stopped engaging, leaving.
It's hunting something.
(static hissing)
It's not over yet. Let's go.
(footsteps plodding)
(birds chirping)
(medipen rasping) (Liam groaning)
Jesus, Em.
Your blood carries it.
If we get this into him, it might kill him.
So we're injecting the
mutant koala with Liam's blood?
- Exactly.
- Makes sense to me.
(sighs) Worth a shot.
(feet pattering)
(Koala King growling)
(brooding music) (feet pattering)
(Koala King growling)
(Liam grunts) (chainsaw buzzing)
(chainsaw roaring)
(brooding music continues)
(medipen clanking) (tense music)
(brooding music)
(Koala King growling)
The disease lives in you.
Yeah? Well, you're about to catch it.
Come at me, you fucking punk.
(Koala King growling)
(chainsaw buzzing)
(chainsaw thuds)
(chainsaw buzzing) (blood squelching)
(Liam groans)
(body thudding)
No.
(Koala King growling)
Okay, okay. (Brooding music)
(Ollie speaking faintly)
(Koala King growling)
(electricity hissing) (Koala King groaning)
(dramatic music)
(Liam grunts)
(Koala King growling)
(chainsaw buzzing)
(flesh squelching)
(chainsaw thuds)
(hand thudding)
[Koala King] You are nothing but filth.
(Liam gasping) (dramatic music continues)
(electricity hissing) (Koala King groaning)
(syringe rasping) (Emily screaming)
(electricity hissing)
(dramatic music continues)
(feet thudding)
(Koala King growling)
Fuck you.
(Koala King groaning) (Ollie laughs)
What's the matter, asshole?
You afraid of a little scratch? (Laughs)
(fist thudding) (blood squelching)
- Dammit.
- No.
(Liam groaning)
(Koala King growling) (blood squelching)
(body thudding)
Liam.
(Liam coughs) (brooding music)
(Emily panting)
(Ollie exhales)
(blood squelching)
(birds chirping) (chainsaw buzzing)
(Ollie and Emily whimpering)
(Koala King growling)
(Emily panting) (chainsaw buzzing)
Die, you eucalyptus-chomping
motherfucker.
(Koala King growling) (chainsaw buzzing)
(Emily screaming) (blood squelching)
(Ollie screaming) (chainsaw buzzing)
(blood squelching)
(chainsaw continues buzzing)
(Emily screaming) (flesh squelching)
(body thudding)
(Emily gasping)
(Ollie laughing)
(blood squelching) (chainsaw thuds)
(Emily gasping)
(birds chirping) (Ollie gasping)
(feet shuffling) (pensive music)
(Emily gasping)
(feet pattering)
(birds chirping) (feet continue pattering)
(Emily gasping)
(feet pattering)
Looks like you guys had a rough night.
[Ollie And Emily] No help from you.
You're late.
Not my fault.
You were supposed to be dead by now.
You're free to go. (Birds chirping)
Just like that?
After all this, you're just
gonna let us walk away?
Who's gonna fucking believe you anyway?
Let's bag this up.
(birds chirping) (solemn music)
(footsteps plodding)
(solemn music continues)
(pensive music)
(birds squawking) (pensive music continues)
God, I get it now.
You want something real.
(vehicle whooshing) (birds squawking)
Hey, hey, yes, stop, stop, stop.
Hey, hey, hey.
Stop, stop, stop. (Engine humming)
Hey, stop, stop.
THe bloody hell happened to you two?
- Long night.
- Yeah.
- Where you headed?
- Anywhere will be fine.
All right, jump in.
(blanket thuds)
- Oh, okay.
(birds chirping)
(Ollie grunts)
(Ollie gasping) (engine humming)
(wind rustling) (birds chirping)
(traffic whooshing)
(feet shuffling) (traffic
continues whooshing)
(latch clicking)
(fingers tapping)
(door clattering)
(fingers continue tapping)
Looks like you two have had a big one.
We need help.
There's something out there, man.
We, we were, we were
attacked by, by these things.
We barely made it out alive.
- Yeah.
- Our friends are dead.
Wait, what things?
Dropbears.
(officer laughing)
Dropbears, yeah, good
one, mate, drop bears.
This isn't a fucking
joke, man. They're real.
(officer laughing)
So who put me up for this one, eh?
Was it Darryl?
It was Darryl, wasn't it?
(laughs) Oh, bloody Darryl.
Dropbears.
Listen, if you two don't tell
me exactly what happened,
you can piss off back to the hostel.
Got it?
(fingers tapping)
(door clattering)
Bloody crackheads. (Laughs)
(leaves rustling) (pensive music)
(feet shuffling)
The world is so fucked.
(feet shuffling) (pensive music continues)
(birds squawking)
(birds chirping) (pensive music continues)
(brooding music)
(pensive music resumes)
(traffic whooshing) (mellow music)
If ya go Down Under,
well, ya better beware
They have got a creature
that they call the drop bear
He hangs in the trees,
and he waits for his prey
If you're in the wrong place,
it might be your last day
(traffic whooshing)
(mellow music continues)
Some people walk around
with forks in their hair
To ward off attacks
from the viscous drop bear
He'll drop from the trees
Then he'll tear up your face
If you ever go to that Down Under place
People tried the
toothpaste behind the ears
The dropbear's been
laughing about that for years
He's found in the forest,
and he's found on the range
The story of the drop
bear is admittedly strange
(mellow music continues)
A drop bear attacks
in the day or the night
To keep him away,
people try what you might
If ya go for a walk, wear
some sensible shoes
Don't let the drop bear
get the first drop on you
(mellow music continues)
(laid-back guitar music)
(laid-back guitar music continues)
(laid-back guitar music continues)
(eerie music)
(brooding music)
(fingers tapping)
(phone ringing)
(worker murmuring)
(phone clanking)
Yep.
[Caller] Please hold for the president.
(pensive music)
(phone clanking)
[President] I'm hearing a
lot of excuses down there,
big excuses.
You told me you'd have results by now.
Where are my assets?
There's been a,
a complication.
[President] You were
supposed to be the tough guy.
I was told you could handle this.
A lot of people said you could handle this,
but I don't see any handling.
I see a mess.
The experiment worked
maybe a little too well.
We, uh, lost containment.
[President] That's what I
love about you Australians,
always finding new ways to screw it up.
You fix this, and then you
deliver because if you don't,
I'll find somebody who can.
(phone clanking)
(phone beeping)
(phone thudding)
(phone clanking)
(dramatic music)
(footsteps plodding)
(paint splashing) (painter grunts)
(footsteps plodding)
(pensive music)