Emperor's New Clothes, The (2001) Movie Script

You've got it backwards.
Try it the other way around.
No, that's not how it ended.
Go back.
It didn't end there.
It didn't end like that at all.
Twist that ring.
That's it.
Let me tell you
what really happened.
Sire, your bath is ready.
You're four minutes late.
I will not tolerate this slackness,
Marchand. Bath time is 10:00 sharp.
A precise routine dissolves the day,
you understand?
It helps me forget the time
I've spent on this hateful rock.
England feared peace more than war.
Why? They're afraid
of our friendship...
our doctrines, our example.
I summoned the English ambassador
and said if his idiot king wanted...
to be the first to draw his sword,
I'd be the last to sheathe it.
It was magnificent.
Swords and bayonets danced
in the sunlight above their heads.
The Old Guard,
the Imperial Guard...
20,000 men, formed
in a deep square around me.
I called on them
for their allegiance.
"Do you swear to perish
in defense of your emperor?"
And like a peal of thunder
came the answer, "We swear it!"
I hope you're getting all this down,
Captain Nicholls.
Sir, my commander wishes to be
informed as to your well-being.
Your commander's cowardice
is a disgrace to his king.
You can tell him
his authority stops there.
There, by that garden gate.
Captain Nicholls,
you are on foreign soil.
On the double, man!
Enough of memoirs.
Let us turn our attention
to the future.
A cargo ship bound for Brest has
dropped anchor a mile off the coast.
By midnight, our man
will be here in your place.
And I shall be on my way to France.
You will, of course,
be traveling incognito and...
Incognito, yes, but in
what capacity will I be traveling?
A galley hand, sire.
It is in the utmost need.
Even so, a position above decks
would've been more appropriate.
Carry on.
An agent will greet you on the dock
to speed Your Majesty to Paris.
Whereupon the double
will reveal himself...
and all the world
shall learn of your escape.
The French papers
will trumpet the news.
Citizens will take to the streets.
Loyal garrisons will raze the white
flag of the hated Bourbon king...
and raise once more
the beloved tricolor.
And then I shall come forward.
Yes. It is the only way.
So many have betrayed me.
I place my trust
in only two things now:
My will...
and the love
of the people of France.
The prisoner is well.
The prisoner is well.
The prisoner is unwell.
The prisoner is missing.
Might as well
make a start now, lad.
Guard our memoirs well.
We shall continue them
when we meet again in Paris.
I'm eager to write many
new and glorious chapters.
Six years of English cooking.
Six years of gazing
at these dreary walls.
And at your gloomy face.
You're quite ugly. Do you know that?
I've never had the heart
to tell you.
Yes, sire.
Six years.
The mere passage of time...
cannot dim the radiance
of Your Imperial Majesty.
Your Highness has not changed
since the day of the coronation.
Yes, well, the wait is soon ended.
Indeed. Before long our emperor
will be back upon his throne...
settled once more
in the embrace of his people.
Reunited, one may hope...
with his noble son,
the king of Rome.
- My son?
- Yes, sire.
- A beautiful child.
- That child traded his destiny...
for the tawdry comforts
of the Viennese court.
Do not speak of him.
He turned his back
on his father and the Empire.
Let the Empire
turn its back on him.
Sire, the sentries
will return in a few moments.
I am ready.
The eagle flies
from belfry to belfry.
And to the twin towers
of Notre Dame.
- What are we going to do?
- Sire?
Well, he looks nothing like me.
- Sire...
- Look at him.
He's gone to seed.
It's too late now.
We'll have to make do.
Very good, sire.
- What is your name?
- Eugene Lenormand, Your Majesty.
Eugene. A common name.
How about Alexander?
Strong, masculine name.
I'm afraid the papers
have already been made out, sire.
It's only for a short while,
I suppose.
This is a disgraceful island.
You will need strength and courage.
When I get to France, you will be
relieved to announce to the world...
that you're a fake, a nobody.
Until then...
no one must suspect a thing.
There are so few to trust now.
Thank you, Louis.
I will never forget your loyalty.
We will meet again very soon, sire.
I hope the journey's
not too arduous.
He's not a young man anymore.
You little skiver!
Get that mop working!
Where did you serve your time?
It wasn't on a French ship.
Do it on your knees.
Fill your eyes.
It's here for you every morning
as sure as two and two.
Land ho!
- France!
- Yes. We're just passing Brest.
Molasses is worth more in Belgium.
We sail on to Antwerp.
I'll not have my destiny shaped by
petty concerns of some bookkeeper.
We must turn back at once!
Of course! I'll give the master
your orders next time I see him.
Not like that!
Here. Watch me.
With practice,
no doubt he will improve?
It's not the walk that worries me.
You're waddling again!
Never waddle!
General, if I may be permitted?
Good day, sire!
I'm gratified to find you in good
spirits and enjoying the weather.
I'm not accustomed to being
addressed from horseback, Captain...
particularly by those
of the lower ranks.
As to the weather...
I'm enjoying it very much.
As I was my privacy.
Good day!
Darkness comin' down.
Keep it tight, Eugene.
Like a crow in the gutter.
The eagle flies
from belfry to belfry.
Take it.
Easy. Easy.
Poor boy. Good boy.
Come on.
What do you think you're doing?
Get off of the Marshall.
He doesn't like being ridden.
I must get to France.
I'm going to Brussels.
To France! Immediately!
I must commandeer this vessel!
Do what now?
Can this thing
not go any faster?
The Marshall has his pace.
Even the water moves
more swiftly than your horse.
One-way or return?
This is the express for Paris?
As express as they come, I suppose.
Makes all the usual stops.
They've changed my battlefield.
The place throbs with posterity.
Did Napoleon,
may one conjecture...
enjoy a restful sleep here?
I've never been
in this place before.
They've all gone, the others.
You've missed your carriage.
Should I bring you something
from the kitchen?
No, thank you.
I'll bring you a plate, then.
Did you enjoy the battlefield?
It is much changed.
It seems so...
You should have taken a guide.
They make it come alive.
I must get to Paris
as quickly as possible.
There's the night mail
to Charleroi.
What's your name?
Adele Raffin.
Thank you, Adele Raffin.
You have been kind.
Whoa! Whoa!
Passport check.
Your papers, please.
Lenormand. Eugene Lenormand.
Which one is he?
We've got him.
What do you mean,
you got him?
He was trying to cross the border.
He's just here.
Put him with Cesar for now.
Get him ready.
The eagle flies
from belfry to belfry.
And to the twin towers
of Notre Dame.
Sire! You are returned to us.
At last.
May you forgive the unpardonable
treatment bestowed upon...
I'm very thirsty.
Word came that you had missed
the agent in Brest.
I had men scouring the border
for Eugene Lenormand.
It was all I could think of.
I'm the end of the line here.
An outpost of one surrounded
by royalist dogs and collaborators.
Come, sire,
we mustn't lose any time.
Sire, you are now on French soil.
You will find transport in Cambrai,
about two miles due south.
You should arrive in Paris
exactly on schedule.
- What is your name?
- Bommel, sir. Justin.
Ex-company sergeant
of the Old Guard.
The Old Guard.
The last faithful.
You were at Waterloo.
As the English cannon
were cutting us down...
you stood amongst us and said...
"You are the bravest of the brave."
They said there were tears
in your eyes.
The bitterest tears
are the tears of defeat.
I will require
accommodations in Paris.
Yes, sire. I have a comrade,
Lieutenant Truchaut.
Nobody will think
of looking for you there.
You should be safe
from royalist spies, only...
Only it is far too humble a nest
for the imperial eagle.
No doubt your
more illustrious allies...
No. I trust none of them.
In any case,
I won't be staying long.
No, sire. Soon all of France will
arise at the news of your return.
Farewell, Sergeant Bommel.
Till we meet again and the tricolor
flies once more over Paris.
Long live the emperor!
You here for Truchaut?
The eagle flies
from belfry to belfry.
Are you one of those crazy people
from down the street?
- What?
- I'm not supposed to talk to them.
No. I'm here for Truchaut,
as you said.
That's him.
I'll get Pumpkin.
You'll get what?
Are you the undertaker?
No. Eugene Lenormand.
Sergeant Artillery.
I was looking
for Lieutenant Truchaut.
You found him.
- Pumpkin.
- Thank you, Doctor.
A mutual friend, an old comrade
from the Grande Armes suggested...
I'm sorry. I can't hire
any more veterans.
I can offer you a glass, a roof
for the night if you need it...
but that's all.
You spoke of
a mutual colleague.
Yes. Bommel.
Company Sergeant Justin Bommel...
of the Old Guard.
Truchaut had a wide circle of
friends who held him in high regard.
Perhaps you'd like to meet some.
I'd be happy to introduce you.
Very kind, but I expect
to be rather busy.
Pumpkin, I suggest we do not
partake of any refreshment...
until dear Truchaut
is laid to rest.
The sun's come earlier
than you said.
I hope we don't get left with
a heap of rotting watermelons again.
Should've bought
more cantaloupes.
They hold out longer.
We barely made it last year.
I don't think you even knew.
So many things we didn't share.
I tried.
I tried to be a good wife
to you, Truchaut.
It was in the frozen wastes
of Poland...
that I met my true love,
Marie Walewska...
a vision of loveliness
with the face of an angel...
haloed by little blonde curls.
She rejected my initial advances.
But eventually I...
got her alone,
and explained to her...
what would become of her country
if she didn't submit to my...
Enough, gentlemen.
The time has come.
The emperor's surely
reached Paris by now.
Fetch some more hot water, Marchand.
I feel a chill.
The time has come.
Do you hear me?
You must complete your mission.
You must reveal
your true identity.
I've no idea
what you're talking about.
So, Sergeant, you served
with our dear Truchaut.
We were in Egypt at the same time...
but in different regiments.
Egypt. The shadow of the pyramids.
Truchaut spoke endlessly
of that voluptuous country.
Scorpions, the flies, dysentery.
- I wish I'd served in that campaign.
- Yes.
Perhaps you're destined
for newer victories.
No. Our days of glory are behind us.
All we have are our memories.
Mmm. Yeah.
- To Egypt.
- To Egypt.
Is there no news of the emperor?
Why, yes.
"His Majesty's health is sound.
His appetite extremely robust."
My husband died on this sofa.
My husband died in that chair.
Madame Truchaut.
- I must impose a little longer.
- Impose?
Yes. The same accommodations
will suffice. Perhaps a meal.
What has happened?
Two consignments of watermelons,
and I have no money to pay.
Well, so be it. One mustn't let
trivial matters dampen the spirits.
Hardship stiffens the resolve,
sharpens the wits.
- They've taken everything.
- One must move forward.
I'll soon lose the house,
do you understand?
I have nothing left. I have no money
and certainly no bed for you.
I've no need to stay
where I'm not welcome.
I'd sooner sleep in the gutter
than spend one night...
under an inhospitable roof.
I am a man who can be killed,
but not insulted!
Please! Take the rotten fruit with
you and the flies that go with it!
Sergeant! Sergeant Lenormand,
can you hear me?
- Can you hear me? Can you hear me?
- Listen to me.
How many fingers can you see?
What's your name?
Emperor Napoleon.
What do you want?
Can I go now?
I suppose so.
What are you waiting for?
I have to tell Pumpkin if you
had pains or lost your wits again.
Bring me a newspaper.
And you may keep what's left.
You've had a good sleep.
Do you recall the moment
just after your fall, I wonder?
It is somewhat muddled.
How long before
I'm back on my feet?
It's just a sprain.
You'll be up and about in no time.
No time's too long.
I'm indebted
to your hospitality, madame.
It's Dr. Lambert you should thank.
He's given up his room.
I assure you I have no intention
of staying longer than necessary.
Where did you get that?
Giving sweets to children now?
He earned it.
Here. Make yourself useful.
Can you manage?
He's taking it well,
the loss of his father.
He never knew his father. I'm the
nearest thing to a mother for him.
- I thought Truchaut...
- No. A stray.
What about you?
Any children?
A son. Same age.
Pumpkin, we're ready to go.
You should keep your weight
off that foot.
Find yourself
a comfortable chair...
and stay in it.
Come. There's work to do.
Let me see that one again.
Find a seat.
Settle down.
Come on. Quickly as you can.
What's going on?
Your efforts
have been courageous...
but confused and futile.
It is now time to prepare
a rigorous plan of action.
Plan? What's he on about?
One: The time factor.
The current heat wave
does not favor our campaign...
since it makes the melons
ripen quickly.
In reality, it also contains
an element which could benefit us...
and which we should exploit:
The thirst in the townspeople.
And us.
If we act swiftly...
we can turn these weather conditions
to our advantage.
Two: The terrain factor.
Paris covers a wide area, and we have
only minimal forces in the field.
Haphazard effort will fail.
We must determine where the lie
of the land works against us.
Long quiet streets...
too much time lost.
Les Halles, the markets...
too much competition.
We shall focus on zones...
with the maximum concentration
of population...
and the minimum supply of fruit.
Regarding the first...
we can mark the most
frequently used access routes.
As regards the second, at dawn
children will scout the terrain.
we conquer or perish!
We should all sleep here tonight
for an early start...
if that's all right
with you, Pumpkin.
You've had quite an effect on them.
It was nothing. Merely filling
my time, keeping my spirits up.
An army's strength depends less...
Less upon its numbers
than upon its spirit. Yes, I know.
My husband was also
a great lover of talk.
- You think talk is cheap.
- No.
In my experience,
talk has been very expensive.
There they are!
Yes, there they are!
There he is.
Tell them. Tell them
you are not the emperor.
Tell them who you really are.
Captain Nicholls,
I must apologize.
I had hoped to keep this from you.
It seems the isolation here has
proven too much for some of us...
particularly those
of weaker character.
I fear the general has become
a danger to himself and others.
Will you get off!
You will pay for this,
you traitor, fraud!
In you go.
- Unhand me!
- Come along. There you go.
It is too horrible.
The emperor is waiting.
All France is waiting.
That man is no more Napoleon
than I am!
They'll all have to wait
a bit longer.
That man has been emperor
for 18 years.
Eighteen years...
while I was scrubbing
the decks of his ships.
Now it's my turn.
- Remarkable recovery.
- What?
Your ankle. I don't think I've
ever seen anything quite like it.
Entirely due
to your care, Doctor.
More a matter of will,
I suspect.
You have an interesting scar
I noticed, just above the heel.
It's similar to the one our
emperor bears. Did you know that?
The one time
he was injured in battle.
Austerlitz, I believe.
Are you two gonna
be standing there all night?
- I'm afraid I will fail you.
- Let me be the judge of that.
I'd like to get a piano
over there by the window.
Oh, you play?
I could learn.
I can afford to take lessons.
Yes, you could.
Of course you could.
I'm getting carried away.
There's still a lot to do.
A piano would be wonderful.
Come with me.
Here. Can you make it up?
I've never felt alone up here.
I always knew that
in each of those houses...
someone else is waiting
for their husband to come home...
or their son.
I met Truchaut in Holland.
He brought me to Paris.
He left for Egypt
the day after we were married.
You were in Egypt too?
I hardly saw him
for 15 years.
He went all around the world
following his emperor.
Then after Waterloo,
we started this business.
He didn't have a head for it.
His mind was still elsewhere.
What about you?
You spoke of a son.
I haven't seen him
for six years.
That must be hard.
Especially at that age.
Every second that passes
is so precious.
Left! Left!
Left, right, left!
We better slow down.
We'll have to get
some more jugs in a minute.
Hold this.
Go on.
Come here.
Come under here.
- What's that you've got?
- For Gerard.
You put the pictures in,
then magnify them against the wall.
It tells the stories
of famous men.
Oh, my God!
He's chopped off their heads.
That's Bluebeard's castle.
They're all his wives.
You can't show him that one.
He'll have nightmares.
No, he'll love it.
Children love
all that blood and gore.
I've bought something too.
It's magnificent.
I bought it from a lawyer
who went bankrupt.
Well, that's something.
I didn't know
that was possible.
Go on. Try it out.
Go on.
Yes, I see what you mean.
Very comfortable.
Go on.
Try it properly.
I want you to be happy here.
I must speak to you.
Certainly, Doctor.
Somewhat early
for spring cleaning.
I've not forgotten him, Doctor,
but life has to go on.
My sincere affection for Truchaut...
You were not married
to dear Truchaut.
Nevertheless, I am compelled
to view the way...
in which he is being replaced
as head of this household...
as unbecomingly hasty, indecent...
and it pains me to say this,
Pumpkin, a betrayal.
For the first time in my life,
I don't feel alone.
Now I have you, an old and valued
friend, speak to me like this...
with such spite.
I am moved to say these things
only because...
I had presumed
that after a decent interval...
that you and I might...
in due course...
I'm sorry.
What was it
you wish to tell me?
Nothing. L...
It seems I've been offered
a position.
A facility outside the city.
The time seems right for me.
I'll be leaving right away.
This man is not what he seems.
I'm telling you this
as a friend.
As a friend,
that is all I can tell you.
He did leave in a hurry,
didn't he?
All that talk about a new position
is sheer nonsense.
- Why do you say that?
- You know why he left.
He said you were not
to be trusted.
He thinks you're hiding something.
What do you think?
I think you've been in prison.
Does that scare you?
I'm not scared.
My Josephine.
A perfect plum plucked
from the tree of heaven.
She was to be my torment.
My soul was seared by her lips.
My guts are troubling me of late.
Perhaps Your Majesty
wouldn't suffer such pains...
if he did not sit around
on his fat arse all day...
stuffing his face like a pig.
- I wish to consult a doctor.
- Do you?
An Italian doctor.
No, German.
The best there is!
You'll have your doctor when
you've done your duty, not before.
And stop stuffing
your damn face!
Let us try and understand
one another.
Either this is Napoleon...
in which case we've all
nobly performed our duties...
and may look forward to a
deserved retirement in England...
at the expense
of the British crown.
Or this is an impostor,
and you men have colluded...
in the most heinous fraud
of our time...
the suitable punishment
for which I can only guess at.
While l...
I have allowed the monster of Europe
to slip through my fingers...
and escape from this island
on my watch.
On my watch!
Gentlemen, what we have here
is a dead emperor.
History shall record that
General Napoleon Bonaparte...
died in exile
on the island of St. Helena...
at 5:49
on the fifth of May...
Oh, you're too old for that.
You're too heavy, anyway.
I've never needed spectacles. I
don't know why I have to start now.
You enjoy reading.
- I like you reading to me better.
- Don't be a baby.
What are you doing?
Has everyone lost their wits?
They've got newspapers.
What is it?
Haven't you heard?
The emperor's dead.
Pumpkin, did you ever
see the emperor?
No, never.
But I did see Josephine once.
My father took me
to the coronation.
I saw a golden coach go by with her
sitting in it, just for a moment.
The crowd loved her.
Her kindness won many hearts.
She wore ruby earrings.
Beautiful, blood red.
Her neck was long
and slender like a swan's.
Yes, she liked her jewels.
Who knows?
A man of his spirit, maybe he's
better off dead than imprisoned.
Don't sit there all night.
Are you asleep?
I can't sleep.
Can you?
Yes, thank you.
When you first met me,
what did you think?
An unhappy man.
Now I want to tell you
the reason for that unhappiness.
I've lived this so often in my head
ready to tell millions.
Now I need to tell you. It's time
for you to know the truth.
The emperor isn't dead.
I am Napoleon.
That's it,
plain and simple.
You're sharing this wonderful bed
with the emperor.
Lenormand, Eugene!
Eugene Lenormand!
I wish to see
the garrison commander.
Take this.
Sign on this line here.
And here and here.
End of the corridor.
Knock on the hatch and wait.
All right,
I heard you the first time.
- Name and request.
- Lenormand.
I must see the garrison commander.
It's of the utmost urgency.
No one sees the commander.
It's a two-month waiting list
to see his adjutant.
I have vital information concerning
the death of Emperor Napoleon.
Do you really?
I'll put you on the list.
The eagle flies
from belfry to belfry.
You don't want to go
on the list?
What about Sergeant Bommel
of the Old Guard?
His last posting was
the border patrol at Charleroi.
Justin. Sergeant.
You're in luck.
He's due to be posted here
in a couple of days.
Come here.
Easy, now. There.
- My dear Pumpkin...
- Get indoors. Get indoors!
My dear Pumpkin...
I came to you
in need of shelter.
I found more, much more.
But the sweetness of your affection,
the joy of this household...
have been a diversion
from my mission.
All my life, I have striven
to be master of my own destiny.
Here, I feel it
slipping away from me.
I have become a stranger
to myself.
Has anyone else
seen you like this?
Pumpkin, I know it's difficult...
but you have to stop
calling me Eugene.
I'm sorry I upset you.
But I want you to know that I will
still need you by my side...
after I've regained
the throne.
No! Stop this nonsense!
I won't listen to it.
Stop this madness, Eugene!
I won't listen to it!
- Soup for breakfast?
- Broth.
Weather's changing.
It'll build up your defenses.
The broker's coming this morning
about the land in Provence.
I have other matters to attend to.
What shall I tell him?
When's a good time?
Good time? How about never?
Is never good for you?
Where are you going?
Hey, turn around!
What does it say?
What does it say?
The last words of our emperor.
Very popular.
It's a bit racy in parts.
Read it to me.
"And it was in
the frozen wastes of Poland...
that I met my true love,
Maria Walska."
"She rejected
my initial advances...
but I eventually
got her alone...
and explained what would
happen to her country...
if she didn't submit
to my desires."
- You asked me to read it.
- Go on, go on.
"That night, I conquered
my Poland of the flesh...
and in the morning,
what did she say?
'Do it again.
Yes, do it again."'
Would you say he displays
this particular behavior?
I really couldn't say.
Then I must ask your approval
to examine the man in private.
You're up.
I ran into Dr. Lambert
the other day.
I forgot to tell you.
He's brought a friend.
Dr. Quinton.
A pleasure.
I didn't get to congratulate you
on your new position.
- You left so quickly.
- It was nothing.
Are you staying long in Paris?
I never left.
Madame Truchaut tells us
you have not been sleeping well.
Did she? How thoughtful
of Madame Truchaut.
She suggests you have not
been yourself in recent days.
How would she know?
What kind of doctor
would you be, I wonder?
- Pardon?
- Your speciality, your forte.
Dr. Quinton is
a stomach specialist.
Is that so?
He was in charge of a military
convalescent home outside Metz.
Really? There were that many
bowel disorders and tummy upsets?
Well, an army does travel
on its stomach, I suppose.
Dysfunction of the digestive tracts
can be indicative...
of other latent
troublesome areas.
The gastric juices can become
a foaming sea of torment...
raging over a bedrock
of mental debilitation.
A fine turn of phrase
for a bowel man.
Any other complaints
or disabilities?
None to speak of.
- How's your appetite?
- Healthy as a hunter.
- Vision?
- Eyes of an eagle.
No blurring, strange shapes
either side?
- Did you enjoy a happy childhood?
- What?
Are you subject to melancholy,
the darker humors?
Delusions of grandeur?
Out of my way.
When I regain
my rightful position...
I'll see you're rewarded
for your services.
The only reward I want is for you
to stop tormenting yourself...
with this
make-believe story.
I offer you a world...
and you fail to believe me?
You have no imagination.
You have no faith.
I have faith in you, Eugene.
I am not Eugene!
Eugene Lenormand is nothing,
a nobody!
He's everything to me.
am Napoleon.
No, you're not Napoleon!
I hate Napoleon!
He's filled France
with widows and orphans.
He took my husband!
I won't let him take you.
Look at me.
Look and tell me what you see.
A nobody.
Say it.
A shopkeeper.
A smug little greengrocer.
- I am your emperor.
- My emperor is dead.
No. That's all lies.
Your emperor
is returned to you.
I don't want him.
Nobody wants him.
They prefer him dead.
You know who I am.
You know my name.
Just say it.
Say it.
Who am I?
Come with me.
- Who am I?
- Not another word.
Come with me now...
and you will have your answer.
What are we doing here?
Philippe, it's Dr. Lambert.
Wait here.
You there, what place is this?
Inside! Inside!
Come on!
Get in!
Come on! Move!
Get in line!
Come on! Faster!
Get in line!
You've got it backwards.
Try it the other way around.
Can we have another story?
Another day.
Just one?
It's bedtime now.
You have such delicate hands.
It'll leave a mark.
Skin doesn't heal like it does
when you're a child.
You're my Napoleon.
Who's that?
My son.
That was my son.
I hope he will be a better man
than his father.
I surrender.
I am your prisoner.
Thank you for today.
Thank you for showing me
you can be a happy man.
I have a message
for Sergeant Justin Bommel.
- You wish to speak with him?
- Just a message.
And I'd like to leave this.
You were here before,
weren't you?
I recognize you.
The message should read,
"Eugene Lenormand is dead."
No, not that.
"Eugene Lenormand has moved on.
He left this to remember him by."