Everybody Gets Stabbed (2020) Movie Script

- We're doing this?
- Are you serious?
We've been through it many times.
- I'm nervous.
You know, first time and all.
- Just fucking-
Trying to figure out what to say to him.
- Okay.
- What?
- What the hell is going on?
Jesus Christ.
Who tied me to this chair?
- We tied you.
Doug, we tied you to the chair.
It's fine.
- Is this some sort of weird prank?
- Um, kind of.
- Is this a-
Is there a joke I'm missing?
- No.
- I, um.
This is awkward.
- Why?
- Look, honestly, we thought
you were gonna stay unconscious
for way longer.
- What for?
And what's with the
weird Tom Cruise robes?
- Look, we're here to murder you.
- Bullies.
It's just a joke, right?
- Well, actually, yeah we are actually,
legitimately, here to really murder you.
- And Taylor.
- What?
- Yeah.
- What?
- Well, look, it's a
long story, to be honest.
- Well, I'm a captive audience.
- Sure.
And I don't wanna tell you.
Um, so.
- Right.
Least you can tell me if you
guys murdered anybody else?
- No.
- So, I'd be the first
person in this long story?
- Yes.
- Mm hm.
- You do realize you'd be
murdering a black guy first, right?
- God, no.
- This is, like, the oldest
stereotype in the book.
- Stereotype?
That's not-
What writing?
- I've known you guys for a while now
and you're both fucking racists.
- Go get fucked, we are.
- Whoa, whoa, hey.
Ah, that's incorrect, sir.
- Fucking racists.
- We are not.
- That's assumption.
- We are not racists.
- Yes, but you're murdering
the black guy first, right?
- No, what?
You're confused because
actually there's a, uh, a plan.
- That there
is 13 steps in the plan.
- Yes.
And the plan is racist.
- What the fuck?
- You're talking-
No, no.
This is not a race thing.
- Yeah, black lives matter, idiot.
- And.
You've got a white girlfriend
so I don't even know
what you're talking about.
- Well, you're not really a making
a good case for yourselves.
- It's the plan.
- You do know what
racists always say, right?
- Oh, I dunno.
What do racists always say, huh?
- That it's.
That they're not racist.
- Sure.
We can't fucking win, can we?
- Well, what
does that give us then?
I don't.
- Sorry to be an inconvenience for you.
You know.
My colonizers here.
- Oh come on.
That is racial.
- You've crossed a line.
My nads hurt.
- My Hispanic grandmother was,
is, was not even on the boat.
- And it's not even
relevant to this situation.
- No, no. Not relevant at all.
- You white demons.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
- Put me, trapped me here.
Tied me down.
- Racist now.
Tellin' you what.
- Now you're tryin' to
kill me and my girlfriend.
- You know what, I've got things to do.
- And that fact-
- So, actually if you'd just-
- Are we racist?
- Fuckin' get his keys and go inside.
- I'm seriously still trying to work out
how this has happened.
- Hey, don't.
- But someone's doing this.
Someone planned this.
When this kind of stuff happens,
it's usually spousal or drug-related.
That's not what this was.
- I know.
But, maybe it's not time to talk about it.
- Yeah, but then when else?
Someone did it right.
So why wait until the trail gets cold?
- How you doing?
This is all nuts, right?
- Mm.
- Yeah, I'll, uh, leave
you to your thoughts.
- Brenda's fuckin' cat.
- How you doin'?
- I'm fine.
I mean, you know, everything.
- Yeah.
- You?
- I don't know what to think.
- Mm.
- How does something like this happen?
- A psycho.
- Yeah, maybe it was psychos.
- I just said one psycho.
- The police just aren't doing anything.
It's been nearly a week.
Why haven't they brought anyone in?
- Hey these things.
They don't get solved over night.
They take time.
Like months, years.
- How long is it gonna take?
Just analyze some shit
and find the fuckers.
- Yeah find 'em.
- Unless it's like a domestic situation
where the killer's the husband,
I don't think it's that easy.
You know?
Or, if it's like drug dealers,
then that could take years.
- I don't think they're drug dealers.
- No, this is a full on murder.
They, like, tied him to
a chair and stabbed him.
And then they hunted her in her house.
This isn't an argument gone wrong.
- Um, yeah.
I'm not trying to start
an argument, I'm just.
I'm saying, it isn't simple.
You know, clearly this is fucked, so,
it's not someone that they know.
- Knew.
- What?
- You said know.
- Oh, whatever.
Look, the cops are probably
doing some CSI shit right now.
Right? You know.
Analyzing and enhancing and-
And they're all probably
top people in their field.
Otherwise, they would
be in our fields, right?
- Yeah, Clive's right.
- Right.
- I just don't want
it to go on forever, you know?
You hear about these
cases that go unsolved
and I don't want that for them.
They deserve an answer.
- Yeah, they'll get it.
We just have to be patient.
- Isn't this a little weird?
- It's fine.
- We're at a wake.
- Well, you know what they say,
funerals are aphrodisiacs and all.
- They say that?
- Yeah, sure, whatever.
- Have you ever thought about us?
- Huh?
- I don't know.
We've been doing this for a long time.
- We only just started.
- No, not this.
You and me.
- Oh.
- Why don't we make it public?
- Not this.
Why are we always so secretive?
- Look, I just.
- Are you ashamed of being gay?
- No.
- Weird parents or somethin' like that?
- Is this really the best time that
we could be talking about this?
- Oh when else are we gonna talk about it?
It's the only time we're
ever alone together.
I just.
I wanna know that I'm more
than just this to you.
I mean, if we're gonna be
together, we should be together.
- Look, I just.
- What are you?
Are you gonna?
- Sorry, but I, I gotta go.
- Of course.
- You rang?
- Well, Brenda has some ideas.
- What about?
- Well, they must be planning
to strike again, right?
- What do you mean?
- Whoever did this clearly had a reason.
You don't just randomly
kill two people like that
unless you have a plan.
- Well.
- That feels a little alarmist.
- It wasn't random.
It was planned.
They definitely had a reason.
And they're, probably,
planning something else.
- Why would you say that?
That's awful.
- "If it were done when
'tis done, then 'twere well
it were done quickly:
if the assassination could
trammel up the consequence,
and catch with his surcease
success; that but this blow."
The fuck does that even mean?
Hey, uh, don't mean to be rude, but,
I've got this space for another hour.
You still there?
"If it were done when 'tis
done, then 'twere well
It were done quickly:
if the assassination could
trammel up the consequence,
and catch with his-"
Go away.
What are you doing?
- Man, look how much hair got caught
on the double-sided tape.
- Don't, don't.
- What?
- Don't leave it here.
- Why?
- 'Cause it's your DNA.
- Right.
Maybe we should get,
like, some of Tom's DNA?
Leave that around?
What kind of a killer do you think Tom is?
- What d'you mean?
- Like, would he be art-y?
- Art-y?
- Hm.
Like, should we leave a word or something?
- Oh.
Spell out Satan in intestines.
- Yeah, but backwards.
Then they could do it,
like, the mirror thing where
they hold the mirror up and it spells it.
- We could leave, like, a symbol.
- Like drums?
- No.
I've got it.
You made it too long here.
You have to go straight and
then the bell end at the end.
- Right.
- What are you doing?
It's too long.
- What do you mean?
- I mean, it needs to be shorter.
- You could be helping.
- I'm helping by telling you how to do-
If I wasn't doing this,
you'd be fucking it up.
I mean, you are fucking it up.
- So, I need to make it shorter then.
- Mm.
- Is this too short then?
- Hold on, it's-
- What are we going for here?
Long or short?
- We're just going for a...
- Look, I can make balls.
But then, I've gotta make,
like, one bigger than the other.
And then, what, what is this?
Is it just gonna be, like,
a concave sort of a thing?
- Yeah, I guess, it's just a bit of a-
- That's not.
It's not gonna read.
- One ball bigger than
the other's fine, though.
I mean, that's, that's real.
- That's, that's, yes.
We're gonna do this, let's
do it properly, you know?
- Aw, fuck.
- Come, let's
just stick to normal murder.
- Got an idea.
- Mm?
- We should make a Facebook group.
- Why?
- Well, because, everyone
would be really afraid now.
- Oh because of the murders.
- And no one'll wanna walk home alone.
- Mm hm.
- And if we make it,
they won't suspect us.
- Suspect us of what?
- The murders.
- Right, yeah.
What do we call it?
- Um.
- Walker.
- Texas ranger.
- Um.
Safe Uber.
- Homecoming.
Is it working?
- No.
Homer Safeson?
- Walkin' pals.
- Um.
Edge of homorrow.
- The strollers.
- Homo erectus?
- No, I think we're not
actually getting anywhere here.
- Right.
- Oh, hey.
- No, we don't need anymore suggestions.
- No, it wasn't that, but.
Shouldn't we be taunting Lauren?
- How does homo erectus
make you think of that?
- I work fast.
Just keep up.
Come on, stay on point.
Shouldn't we be taunting Lauren?
- Why?
- Well, think about it.
I mean, in all the... films.
That's what the murderers do.
They turn it all into a big
game and get into their heads.
And make them choose the next victim.
Shouldn't we do that?
Think about it.
I mean if Tom is the one
who's doing all of this, then,
- Why what?
- Why is he doing all of the murders?
- Well, um.
Because he wants...
Fuck, I don't know.
- Well.
Maybe he's...
Secretly gay, um, and has
feelings, unrequited perhaps,
for his best friend, say.
And the frustration of all
that is causing him to lash out
and commit murders.
- I don't know that is very plausible.
- It's not likely, is it?
But then, maybe, like, the
confusion that he could be
feeling, um, about these feelings-
- Is this still the gay thing?
- Which have been there
a long time.
He might not be comfortable
with that as a label.
But, it's still.
- Maybe he's a cunt.
- Like...
- Like, a cunt.
Like, in school, he was a bully.
Like a real shit head.
And then he knows how to
be all charming and suave
to the chicks.
But that inner bully,
- edness is still there.
- All right, I'm following.
And being triggered.
- Exactly.
So, because he's repressing
this cunt-edness,
it's coming out in behavior.
Like murders.
- Right.
That makes sense.
Because he's a cunt.
- 'Cause he's a cunt.
- Just a secret...
- He's just a secret cunt.
Why're you naked?
- There's almost two
million people in the city.
And three people from our friend group
get killed in, like, a month.
That isn't a coincidence.
- Lauren.
- No, I still think this is planned.
It isn't random.
- Not always.
Not all killers need reasons.
- Doug, Taylor, and Sarah.
Maybe someone from our old class?
- Yeah, but who do you think
we went to school with?
No, there were no Bernies
in our English units.
- You never know.
People can get caught up
in some weird emotions.
- Psychopaths don't feel emotions.
- Maybe someone who felt
overlooked and powerless.
Maybe they still do.
- You're still saying this is deliberate?
- Uh, seven stab wounds in
each victim so far, on average.
That's so deliberate.
Sloppy, but they meant to do it.
- So far?
- Sloppy?
- I think I'm gonna see what
I can find on our old class.
Maybe we missed something back then.
- Or someone.
- Yeah, or, maybe, there
wasn't, like, a neighborhood
psycho or a creepy teacher or, like, a-
- Or a lighthouse keeper.
- Maybe it was just some dick.
Some power hungry bully
who just happened to kill
our friends first on his-
- Or her.
- Yeah, or her more-
- How can you be so sure?
- Where's the motive?
It's like you said, these
things are always personal.
We don't have some big group secret.
Nothing we did last summer.
So it.
It doesn't make sense.
We're too normal.
- Yeah, normal.
- Normal.
- I guess.
- Why would anyone wanna kill us?
We aren't anything.
Are we?
- Thanks for this.
- Yeah, no worries.
Safety in numbers.
- Fingers crossed.
Just all so awful.
- This walk?
- No, no, not the walk.
- Sure.
Yeah, yeah.
- How does somebody?
I mean.
You know what I mean.
- I know.
I dunno.
- Wasn't really
expecting you to have
all the answers.
- Oh, well.
Glad to meet your expectations.
- Yep.
Met and exceeded.
- Do what I can.
- Ah, do you now?
- So.
- This is me.
- Oh sure.
- Thanks.
- Yeah, no.
No worries.
Well goodnight.
- Night.
- Uh, hey.
- Yeah?
- I was just, um.
Do you wanna grab a coffee
sometime or somethin'?
- Yeah, that'd be great.
Oh, but just as friends?
- Yeah.
- I've.
I've just gotten out of something
and need some time, but.
I would love to get coffee as friends.
- Exactly.
- Well, great.
Well, send me a message
and we'll figure it out.
- Will do.
- All right.
- Goodnight.
- She's the perfect target.
- I know.
- 'Cause she's known to the group,
but she's not part of the friend circle.
So, it'll look less like
we're being targeted,
but she's someone that Tom knows.
I know we would be stupid not to do it.
- Yep.
- Do you follow?
Maybe you could go
over it a couple more times.
- Hey.
- Be quiet.
- No, I've got a question.
- Be quiet.
- How will we
know when she's here?
- Because we'll
hear her walk in the door.
- Yeah, but what if-
- If you keep
talking, we won't hear.
- Do you think
the inside of your cheek
tastes like tongue or cheek?
- Fuckin' Christ.
- What?
- Look, she's gonna be home soon.
If you keep talking, we
won't hear her pull in.
If we don't hear her pull
in, we won't know she's here
until she opens the door.
Which means she might hear us.
Then she gets ticked off, calls the cops,
we go to jail for murdering
a bunch of people,
and we'll probably be on the bottom rung
of the power ladder,
so we'll be, like, trading cigarettes-
- Shh.
We won't hear her.
- Fuck!
- This costume is hot.
- Shut the fuck up.
- When will she be home?
- Any minute now.
- So...
- So, shut up.
- What the fuck?
- Oh my God.
- Come on, come on, come on.
- Clive, how'd you turn out to do this?
I don't know what you're doing.
- Friends, huh?
- That one looks like a frog.
- Hm.
Oh yeah.
It's like a witch riding a broom.
- Oh yeah.
Thought it was a cat.
- I like this.
- Hm.
- Hm.
you and me.
No one else.
I like it.
- Be nice, you know.
In front of people.
I know.
I just don't know why.
- But.
- But?
A lot of buts but not a
lot of butt stuff going on.
- We are definitely in
the middle of a park.
- Hasn't stopped us before.
I know you have feelings for him.
- Wait, what do you-
- It's fine.
Don't understand it, but it's fine.
Have you ever told someone you love them?
- No.
- But you loved someone before, yeah?
- Yes.
- Yes?
- Well, I mean, as much
as you can without, like,
telling them.
telling you.
- Scary.
Isn't it?
- Yeah, it is.
- Maybe you should try it sometime.
- I love you.
- Clive.
- Hey, Nick.
Happy birthday.
- Doesn't really feel like it, does it?
- Yeah, no it's a bit,
a bit rough.
And it seems a little weird
that we're celebrating
after everything we've been through, but
just gotta keep moving forward, you know?
- I guess.
- Look.
I know you feel guilty.
Doug and Sarah.
And Taylor.
Look, why don't you have a slice of cake
and enjoy yourself?
- Look at Brenda.
She's not letting it bring her down.
She's thick.
- Yeah.
So where's Lauren?
- Oh, she's got this board and red string.
Trynna work out all
what's been going on here.
- Has she solved it yet?
- No.
I think she's more sad.
You know?
With all the murders.
- Oh what about the game on the weekend?
Did you win?
- You know what?
My religion forbids gamblin'.
You know that, right?
Didn't I tell you?
- Right.
- Hmm.
- Yeah, I'm just gonna go say hi to him.
- Yeah, enjoy yourself. With love.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Happy birthday.
- Kinda.
- Kind of?
The murders.
- Doesn't seem like the
cops have a clue who did it.
- Yeah.
- Wonder who will be next.
- I'm
sure it won't be us.
- It's us now?
- Yeah.
Uh, so, did you get anything
cool for your birthday?
- Dead friends.
- Hmm.
- Did you hear?
- What?
- Clive got taken into
questioning about the murders.
- Are you okay?
- Uh, yeah, um.
I, uh, I didn't know where he was.
But I guess that makes sense now.
Is it something to be sent?
- There's no way he would do it.
- It doesn't make any sense.
But it makes so much sense.
- I mean he's a weird dude,
but I don't think he'd kill anyone.
- How brazen.
He's part of the group,
but he's, like, a secret
cunt killing all of us.
- I don't think it's a secret.
Or a big secret, nonetheless.
- I, uh.
- Clive?
- Yeah.
He didn't do it.
- Yeah, but.
What are you gonna do about it?
- I dunno.
But, I just can't be here.
I got you somethin'.
Made me think of you.
- What is that?
I don't have a bath.
- So.
- Johnson.
- Johnson.
How you get yourself in a mess like this?
- Uh.
You knocked on my door.
- You think you're smart?
- No, I just.
I don't, I don't-
- Look.
We're just here for some answers.
- Can I know why I'm here?
- I'll ask the questions.
- Okay.
- Why are you here?
- What?
I don't.
Well, obviously I'm here
because you want me to be here.
- I just wanna chat.
- Is this about the murders?
- Is it?
- Well,
is it?
- You tell me.
- I ca-
I don't know what you want me to tell you.
- I think you do.
- Can you just tell me?
- Do you know who that is?
- Her?
- Who is it?
Just go and say her name.
- Kate.
- Somethin' bad happened
to Kate, didn't it?
- Yeah.
- How do you feel about what happened?
- I don't know.
I didn't know her well, but.
- But?
- She was nice.
- Nice?
- Yeah, nice.
You know, she treated me like a person.
We only spoke a few times, but,
she left an impression.
- You ever speak on the phone?
- No.
Not really.
I mean,
I don't know.
- That's funny.
- Funny?
- Yeah it is.
- How is that funny?
- Here are her phone records.
Recognize any of the numbers?
Towards the bottom.
- That's mine.
- Yeah it is.
That call was made right
before she was killed.
Before she was murdered.
- Oh.
- Yeah.
She called you.
She called you
right before she was murdered.
- Look, I walked her home a few nights
I set up a Facebook group for
people who want walks home,
who don't wanna walk home
alone because of the murders.
She messaged, said she wanted a walk home,
so I walked her home.
I don't know why she rang me.
I guess she felt safe
with me or something.
- Facebook group, eh?
- Yeah.
It's just something I
thought I could do to help.
- That's not a bad idea.
- Thanks.
- You know,
if I was gonna kill a
whole bunch of people,
wouldn't be a bad way of
throwin' off suspicion.
- Do I need a lawyer?
Look, I didn't do anything.
Obviously needed help.
And she called me.
So, she must've thought
that I could help her
and I couldn't.
Now, I don't know how to feel.
- You're free to go.
- What?
- You can go.
You have to know this is a tough case.
We're waitin' on some
DNA, but besides that
we got nothin'.
We know you didn't do it.
I mean why you gonna call
the person who's killin' ya?
Just wanted to bring you in.
Fuck around with ya.
See what came out.
- Oh okay.
- Get outta here, kid.
Go to a grief counselor or somethin'.
- Yeah.
- Hey.
- There has been another murder.
A man was found dead
this morning in Highgate
bearing all the hallmarks of
the recent spate of killings.
The victim was part
aboriginal which leads some
to suspect that the murders
may be racially motivated.
Police are requesting
anyone with information
to come forward.
Workers at the wrecked...
- Hey, over here.
- Okay.
This is...
- You know me.
- Yeah.
- Thorough.
- Hey, I'm sorry.
- For what?
- Well, I know when
Tom and I got together,
things changed between us.
- No.
- They did.
You know it.
I know it.
- Yeah, but, I think
that's natural, you know.
You meet someone,
obviously priorities shift.
- Yeah, but we used to
be such good friends.
I think I forgot that and pushed you away.
- No you didn't.
- Clive, I did.
- Yeah, I mean you did.
A little.
- Feels good to say it.
Forgive me?
- There's nothing to forgive.
- There is.
I still love you.
We used to be such good friends and
I miss that.
I want you back.
I want my friend back.
- Hugs.
- We need to be closer now.
All of us.
- Yeah.
What about Tom?
Aren't you worried?
- He didn't do it.
I was with him when someone...
It happened.
- Yeah.
Aren't there always two of them, though?
You never talk about others.
- Like a stupid best friend?
- I don't know.
- He didn't do it.
- Why do you think they called him in?
- Why'd they call you in?
- Oh, well, I walked Kate home and
she called me when.
- Sorry.
- Out of everyone, I
was the one she called.
- Oh, she must
have felt safe around you.
- I guess.
- Oh, it's Tom.
No, I'm just with Clive.
They let you go?
Glad that's over.
Headin' there now.
Love you.
- What is it?
- Not sure.
Something about it being clear
someone is setting him up.
- Setting him up?
That's weird.
- Yeah.
Why would anyone do that?
- Maybe he does have a dark past.
- Come on.
- Well, you said it yourself.
Someone did it, there must be a reason.
- Anyway, I should get goin'.
He's headed home.
I should be there when he gets there.
- Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
- Thanks.
I appreciate this.
And you.
You know that, right?
- Sure.
- We'll be okay.
- Okay, so this clearly didn't work.
- Clearly.
- Why didn't it work?
- I don't know.
- Tom's been cleared.
- Yes.
- I've been cleared.
- Yes.
- So what do we have to do to make them
think it's Tom again?
- Well, maybe they still suspect him.
- What?
- Could be the old catch and release,
where they, like, know it's him, but
they don't have enough
evidence to convict him.
So, they let him go, hoping
that he'll slip up again.
- We left his DNA all
over the crime scene.
I don't know what else we
could've done to set him up.
- Yeah.
- Wait, are they doing that with me?
- Hm?
- No, no, they can't.
Because if they thought it
was me then they'd have proof.
- You did vomit everywhere.
- But so did you and you
didn't get pulled in.
- True.
Just you.
- Although?
- Well, the way we've
been doing everything...
I mean, it's not as if everyone's
looking for two people.
- No, they shouldn't be.
They should just be looking for Tom.
- Exactly.
So, once they found your DNA in the vom,
they would've stopped looking.
- Cops don't just stop looking.
They get to the crime scene, go,
"Oh, look here's this moth,
let's all go home early now.
Go to the pub."
- Did we leave a moth?
- No.
It's a euphemism.
Or a parable.
I'm saying, they would've found your DNA
if there was any there to find.
And there was and they didn't.
So they didn't find mine, right?
- Right.
Let's say they're not stringing Tom along.
- And they might be.
- Sure, but let's say they're not.
What would have to happen to make them?
- Well Lauren said something
about DNA being so old and
so obviously placed
that it looked planted.
- You know, that would
make a pretty good cover.
- Cover?
- Yeah, like, I make it so
obvious that I did a murder
that I can't have been
the one to do it, right?
- 'Kay.
Yeah, that's good.
Okay, so, we get someone else.
- Mm hm.
- Really jizz up the place.
Saying that it's him,
saying that it's not him.
- Mm.
- But he has to get too
clever and fuck it up.
- Yeah, good thinking.
- How much do we have left?
- Jizz?
Not much.
- We'll have to get real
deliberate with its placement.
- What are you thinking?
- He wants to meet up.
- He wants to meet?
- Yeah.
- Maybe...
You should?
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Why'd you cover your mouth?
- Hey, man.
- Oh hey.
How's it goin'?
Want some tea?
- Sure.
- I love this tea.
This is gonna sound weird,
but when I brew it at home,
I offer a little prayer to it.
- Okay.
- There's something so
soothing about tea, you know.
Just the brewing it,
just the ritual of it is-
Ah, it's like cumming.
- I've never really thought about it.
You should.
'Cause it is a ritual.
- Okay.
- You see, you grab these leaves.
And you curdle 'em, you
know, with boiling water.
Wait a few minutes,
breathing in the gentle steam.
Letting it go through your body.
Then, when it's done,
you put your cup in front of you,
letting the warm water flow forth.
And you grab that cup in your hand,
letting its warm pulse trip your fingers,
before you bring it to your face
and take a deep breath.
And the ritual's complete.
It's good, huh?
- It is good.
- I know that you caught up
with Lauren when I was, um.
I was, uh.
- Arrested?
- Yeah.
- Arrested about the murders?
- Yeah, I just wanted to say thank you
for being there for her when I couldn't.
- Ah, yeah.
No worries.
- Yeah.
What was it like for you?
- Oh, um.
You know, weird.
- Were you scared?
- Uh.
- I was.
- Yeah, yeah.
I mean,
I was.
What'd they say to you?
- They thought I was behind them.
- But why?
- Why'd they think you were?
- Oh, because I walked Kate home.
And I was the last
person she tried to call.
- Sorry.
I'm sorry, dude.
- No, it's all right.
- No, I'm actually really sorry that
you had to go through all this.
You did a really good thing and
she clearly trusted you
and reached out to you.
I just can only imagine how you feel
knowing that you couldn't
get there in time.
- Yep.
- You okay?
- Yeah, just.
Still figuring out what
to think about all this.
- Tell me about it.
- Mm.
So, what'd they,
were they sayin'?
- They found my DNA.
- Really?
- I have no idea.
Someone threw a bunch of my jizz around.
- Jizz?
To make it look like you
jerked off at the crime scene.
- I guess so.
- And, how did they
figure that it wasn't you?
- Well, apparently,
sperm has this half-life.
And mine were dead, so
they knew it was old.
- Half-life.
- Yeah.
- I guess whoever did it wasn't storing it
in a fridge or something.
That would've been sensible.
- Yeah.
But who the hell would do that?
And how would they even?
- Oh, just go through your bins.
- Hm.
I guess so.
It's just so weird, isn't it?
- Yeah, yeah, it's weird.
Not only is there a
murderer running around,
there's, what, a jizz thief?
So weird.
- Whoever did it is
definitely throwing off
suspicion from themself or themselves.
- Yeah.
Yeah, 'cause.
Yeah, surely there's no more
of a plan to it than that.
I mean, it's just.
You know, just walk past, you know, and,
"I'll have that jizz."
And then just gapped it
around a crime scene.
- Yeah.
That's the only.
That's the only exp-
Explanation, really.
- It's the only one I can think of.
- Hmm.
We really need to stick
together through this.
- Totally.
- Yeah.
- Tea.
- Tea.
- Fuck.
- Look, I-
- No, seriously, man.
First, you kill a random,
make us look racist.
Now this bullshit.
What the fuck?
- Hey, it didn't feel right.
- We're doing a murder.
What didn't feel right?
- I felt like we crossed a line.
- What murders are outta line?
- Well, what about you?
- Don't turn this on me.
- No, you, you totally flaked on Kate.
- You left.
- So? You flake.
- You left.
Let's just forget it.
Call it a bad idea.
Move onto the next one.
- Sam.
- Yeah.
- Why?
- Well he's kinda the only one left.
- Hmm.
- What?
- It's just, I'm...
- What are you in love
with him or something?
- No.
I mean, no.
Fuck it.
- Okay.
Brenda's having a party.
A holiday has to have sabotage.
- Party?
- Some idea.
We never get together unless
something bad happens.
- Us.
- Yes.
It's to get all our friends around.
Have a good time and shit.
- Oh.
- Too perfect.
It will be perfect.
Then, we can set up Tom there
and catch him in the act
murdering Sam.
The big reveal.
- And then it's over?
- Yeah.
- Then what?
- What?
- Then.
- Then we win.
- We win?
- Yeah, we win.
We get what we've wanted.
- We do?
- Yes.
Tom's a serial killer and Lauren's single.
We get what we wanted.
You all right?
- Yeah.
- You seem weird.
First Brenda, now this.
- Well.
Turns out that my flaking
on Brenda worked out
for the best, eh?
- Can it, right?
- Can we go home?
- Sure.
- Clive.
- Clive.
- Clive.
- Kate?
- Look, I've been doing a little thinking.
And, this is not fair.
It's shitty.
- I know.
- So, for my peace of mind, um,
I have to end this.
- Sam.
- Now, look, it's public or it's not.
But we're public or we're nothing.
It's your call.
- Look, I would say yes,
but I'm not seeing the
point in anything now.
- Just do it then.
- I.
- You can't, can you?
Or you won't.
- Can we please just wait?
- Fine.
Okay, just stay away from me tonight.
If you ever felt anything for me,
just do me that favor, okay?
- Sam.
- Yeah?
- I'm sorry.
I really am.
- I think that's the most
honest you've ever been.
- This party seems to have
settled into a pretty chill mood.
- Yep.
- You all set?
- Sure.
- Great.
Okay, we have to get Sam to a room,
do our thing,
and get Tom in there.
- How?
- I don't know.
We just have to catch him in the act
and then we're done, we're good.
- Right.
- You okay?
Everything's been single
syllables tonight.
- I'm fine.
Look, let's just get a move on.
I'm done with this.
- Still single syllables, but whatever.
- What do you want to do?
- It's uncanny.
Uh, I don't know.
Maybe we could lure him in with a game of
Dungeons and Dragons
or whatever it is you guys play together?
- Sure.
- Three.
Are you okay?
- I guess so.
- Back to singles.
All right.
- Hey, come with me.
- Sure.
- I love this room.
It's so great.
It can't open from the inside.
- That's great.
- Yeah.
Get people in here and they can't get out.
- Right, yeah.
- Sounds practical.
- How do you open the door?
- Credit card.
It's like an old dumb movie or something.
- Well, cool.
- Okay, so why are we here?
- You know, I tried to
do that so many times
when I was a kid.
I could never do that.
- Yeah, I know it.
It's rad.
I want in.
I know what you're doing.
I know what you've been doing.
I am dead keen to do a bunch of murders.
- That's-
- Nice.
But that's not what we do.
- Oh no, not at all.
It's not.
- I've seen you.
I saw you at Kate's.
I know you were in my room.
I've been watching you sleep.
So let's do this.
What do you think this party's for anyway?
- A lighthearted get-together?
- Ah, I've timed it out.
Takes the cops half an hour to get here
after the first call.
So we can kill so many cunts
and then when they get here,
we'll tell them that we
managed to hide out in here.
And we will be like heroes.
It's foolproof.
- Put a lot of thought into this.
- You have to.
- True.
So, this door...
- It's gonna be great.
They're not gonna know what's coming.
- Yeah.
The door.
- Yeah.
Come on, let's get excited.
- Yeah, yeah, no.
Super excited.
Why do you wanna do this?
- Huh?
- Murders and stuff.
- Oh.
I just wanna stab cunts.
Isn't that why you're doing it?
- Uh.
- Uh.
Well, um.
It would help you, uh.
- Help you do what?
- Well, you know Lauren.
- Yeah?
- Um, well.
We used to be good friends.
Great friends.
Talk all the time.
And then, she met Tom.
And, I know everyone
thinks he's a great guy,
but I thought she would notice.
I thought everyone would notice,
but only I could see.
I had to.
It was only right
to set him up.
To show everyone the truth.
- Ah?
- He's a dick.
And, she deserves better.
- You.
- Well, yeah.
- Are you kidding me?
- What?
- Are you kidding me?
- No.
- That's what this is all about?
- Yes.
- Some entitlement shit, really?
- No, no, no.
I was merely doing my duty.
I mean, I needed to
explain to everyone that
she had made a poor
choice and that there was
a much better choice
right in front of her.
- Jesus, fuck.
- What?
- Now, what about you?
- What about him?
- What about me?
- You haven't told him?
- Told him what?
- Told me what?
- You're shitting me.
You haven't told him?
- Told me what?
- There's nothing to tell.
- You're a soft cock.
You love him and you haven't told him.
That is not what this
friendship is about, is it?
- I, um,
I may
have had some, um-
- Some?
- Feelings.
- Feelings?
- Yeah.
- Like comraderie?
Like, like Frodo and Sam?
- Which interpretation?
- What?
- I thought if.
If maybe I helped you out, then
we'd get closer.
- Yeah, as friends.
- Friends. Yeah, sure.
- This is bullshit.
He wants to fuck you.
- No.
- Uh, I, um.
- Really?
- Yeah.
- Are you serious?
- That's exactly what
you're doing with Lauren.
- No, no it's.
No, I'm.
There's nuance.
- Nuance?
- Yes.
My left flap, there's nuance.
You've concocted this bullshit,
because you think that
she owes you something.
Because, what, you've put
a few friendship coins in?
And you, what, you
think he's gonna open up
his butthole because you helped
him kill a bunch of people?
- I'd be the-
- Rhetorical.
Nobody owes you shit.
Especially when you've
done fuck-all to earn it.
Like, everything is so fucked right now,
because entitled pricks like you.
You're just too fucking incel man-babies
who think that the world
revolves around them
because you happen to
be white and have dicks.
So, fuck both of you.
- Jesus.
- Oh my fucking God.
Shit, shit.
Shit fucking Christ.
Come on, go.
- Shit.
- Save me from her.
- Help, help.
Oh, please.
Oh God.
- Come.
- It's you and I.
- Let's go back to the house.
Just me.
Not the murderer.
Just Clive.
- Ah, you're alive.
- Yeah, hopefully staying that way.
- Yeah, hopefully we all are.
Are you okay?
- Yeah, I'm fine.
I'm just rattled.
- What the fuck is going on?
- Brenda.
She's behind it all.
- How did we not see this?
- I don't know.
She was with us,
hanging out with us,
talking to us,
planning to kill us?
- Why would she do such a thing?
Such an awful thing.
- Maybe she just felt like
she wasn't appreciated
or validated or something.
- So, it's a lesson?
- Yeah, well, I mean, I don't know.
I'm not a murderer.
I'm in here hiding from the murderer, so.
- I just can't believe this.
It doesn't make any sense.
- Yeah, but, does it have to?
I mean she's killed people
and is killing people,
so maybe she's just a murderer.
- Yeah, that makes sense.
- Does it?
- God, can we just focus on
trying to get out of here alive?
We can sort that out after.
- It just doesn't make any sense.
- Oh, it's like a trick door or something.
Brenda showed Desmond and me.
- Oh, Clive, I don't know
how to tell you this, but.
- What?
- Desmond.
Um, Brenda.
- Oh, I saw.
- What?
You just don't look very upset.
- I guess it just hasn't sunk in yet.
- Right.
- Hey.
- I love you.
- What are you doing?
- I love you, okay?
- I saved us.
Well, and Tom helped, but...
I saved us.