Evil Things (2009) Movie Script
Maya, hey Girl... alright. I'm going away
for a couple days. You behave. No peeing on the floor. Behave, alright. I'm coming. So you're gonna be
filming like the whole time? Definitely, I just
go this, yesterday. Yeah, how much was it? Get what? The City. Oh, the view,
it's really nice. Leo, what are you doing? Get back in the car! I'm fine. Leo, you're
gonna fall out. I would slow down,
but there are cars behind us, and I can't
slow down that much. I'll be fine, I
wanna get this. That's the first
thing we're buying at the store...coffee. Hey, birthday girl. Hey, how ya doing? Good, how are you? Good, I am just going
through Grand Central, and we are on our
way to get you so where are you
gonna be at? -No.
-Are you feeling better? Um, yeah, yeah. I think the
straight road is helping. Do you need anything or... We have water up here. Um, I'm ok. We have water or
coffee cake or something. No, um, I'm good. Coffee cake for
car sickness? I don't... It's getting
pretty snowy out guys. Yeah, it is. My days on the farm. I used to walk 20 miles
barefoot in the snow. Listen, she has
the window down, just take deep breaths. As soon as we can pull
over, let's just pull over. Alright, as soon as I
can pull over, sweetie, I promise I'm going
to pull over. This road is fucking crazy. Oh, my God yeah. Look at
that over there. It's like... Look
at those icicles. Oh my god
that's awesome. Well can we... we can look at
the beautiful scenery later, if we could just... Well I'm going as
fast as I can Mark, ok? No, we don't have to go
fast, but let's just. But you know I
mean, I'm trying. Yeah, just do it. She's sick. I think it's ok,
I think it's ok. Please do, it's ok,
she'll be alright. Just put the hazards on. Just go all the way over. Alright, I'll go
all the way over. Ooh... Jeez, Oooh. Ok, we're ok. This is good. She's getting out. Alright, I'm putting
the hazards on. Is she, is she ok? -Leo!
-What? You really. It's not cool
to film her right now. Not right now. She's really
not feeling well. Tanya, do you
want some water?. We've got lots of
bottles of water right here. I think we should go get her
to like a bathroom maybe. Like some
medicine or something? You guys, I'll be,
I'm fine, it's just... Well, no you're not fine. No, it's, the air's good. The air's really good. I think that there's probably
a gas station or something. We can probably go
to a gas station. I'm gonna
get back on the road. Yeah, but where? Where are we? She doesn't look good. Well alright,
there has to be a gas station
or restaurant. I think I saw a
couple miles ago, that there's a
town coming up. Good. Sweetie we're getting you
there as soon as we can ok? No, it's fine. I'm fine. No, we're almost there. If you're not feeling
well, then you know... Don't worry... the
house will be there... Who's this asshole? no matter what time
we get there. I don't know. Just someone passing us. Wow, nice move buddy. It's not dangerous outside
right now or anything. It's fine, okay. Oh, he's slowing down now. Smart move bud. Why'd you pass us buddy? You got really far. I know. Yeah, what is he doing? WHAT is he DOING? I don't know. Can you guys. Is it clear? Can you see
around him? Yeah, if you go now,
you're gonna have to go kind
of quickly. Ohhh. Oh my God! Alright, it's ok. Oh, be careful honey. I will, I will. Yeah, thanks. You jerk! Leo, don't film him. What's he doing? Leo, that's not
helping, I don't know. The roads are horrible. How dare he. Someone's got a teeny dick. What? That's why men do that. Why men do what? It's the teeny
dick thing. They have to make
up for it somehow so they be dicks
on the road. Well, we are classy ladies and
we got through it classily. God! Alright, that
was kinda weird. That was weird. Some people
have issues right. Whatever. We're fine. But, like really,
road rage right now? Look at it outside. It's really awful, and I
don't know why people feel the need to do that. Yeah, that was
pretty bad, we skidded. I know, but
let's just be thankful nothing
worse happened. Where is this
town, there's nothing. There's is something. I, there, I remember there
was something up ahead, I think we're
gonna be fine. I hope not... It's alright. Here comes this
guy again. What? He's coming back? Is that the same guy? Here's this guy again. Oh, no. Ree-dic-u-lous! Miriam, just drive
really slowly please. I'm trying, but he's
getting really close guys. He's
beeping at us. What the hell
is your problem? What do you want me to do? What are you
trying to prove buddy? Guys, should I pull
over, what should I do? Just keep going,
just keep going! Just, yeah, just
pull over because... No, we can't pull over,
there's no where to pull over. No Mark, there's,
there's no where to go. Just don't pull over,
we'll just keep going. Oh my God! Leo, I don't think he
likes you filming him. You guys, I'm
feeling really sick. Oh my God! You guys, she
doesn't feel good. Well, what are we supposed
to, well we can't stop... I'm doing my best... No way, he's passing us,
hey he's passing us again... Just pass us already. Fine, go already. Who is this guy? NO way! Just go! You kidding me. Wow. Jerk off. We have to find
somewhere really soon. She doesn't feel good. This is not ok. There's nothing. Look ahead,
there's nothing ahead. I'm trying, then just
keep going and as soon as you see something
just pull over. I'm going. You guys, just get there. I'm trying. Just get as far away from
this asshole as possible. He's gone. Where did, he's guh... He just sped up and went... Trying to mess up
someone else's day. Leo, maybe we should put
the camera away right now. Yeah, enough with the
camera Leo, seriously. I think, a break would be... No, it'll be good. You guys'll like it
and then, It'll... I don't think we're gonna
like a car chase.. You keep saying that
Leo, but it's not funny. Let's just turn the
camera off, please? Leo, please turn it off. Alright, I'll just
keep it pointed forward. Are you feeling
better in the front? Uh, yeah Leo...I'm great. Yeah, I really
feel like we must be coming up to
something soon. There's gotta be a
gas station somewhere. Oh wait, here she comes. Hey Tanya. Hey, you want some chips? I'm alright, thank you. You want some chips? Are you feeling better? Yeah, thanks...
how are you? Kinda cold. Kinda. Alright, so... You guys, how bout
some real food, anybody? Yeah! Yeah! Like a diner or something? Pringles are great but... Yeah, grilled
cheese sandwich! Grilled Cheese! You and that camera,
all vacation, really. It's gonna be worth it. Do you want some chips? Nah, I'm good. I got, who do I got? I got the crackers. Crackers. Guys? What? Who is that? That's the van. Is that? No it's not? No way! Let's just get in the car
and get something to eat ok? Are you
kidding me? We should go guys... Let's just go,
let's...c'mon. Lock the car. Alright, this is weird. This is really messed up. Is that the same guy? Maybe it's just like
a hick, like a guy who lives around
here maybe? Like, married his sister or
something and skins animals. Yeah, but then what about
doing it before with driving in front and then
stopping and... Alright I think
we're ready to go. Maybe it's not
the same guy. Alright let's just go. OK, go. Alright, I'm
trying to go right now. AAAAHHHH!!! Oh my God!!! Jesus! You guys forgot
this in the bathroom. Thank you. Oh my God! Yeah, no problem. Alright, be safe. Sorry, thank you. Alright, OK, so
let's go, let's go. This is your phone Cassy? Sorry. Just, yeah, please. Is anyone coming
from that side guys? You're ok. I just want to get the
hell out of here ok? If he goes the other way,
if he goes the other way, we're fine, careful. He's not going
the other way. No, he was just coming
from the same direction Is he following us? That we were before and... He's gonna uh.... just
make a right up ahead. Yeah he's
friggin following us. Oh my God. Alright, I think
there's a turn up here... Does anybody have any
cell phone service, can you guys check? Nothing. No. Everyone's out? Are you kidding
me right now? No, just calm down ok, cuz
you're stressing me out. He's right behind us. I know he's right
behind us Leo, that's why you should
not stress out. He's kind of close too. You guys just relax, it's ok,
he's not gonna do anything. His headlights scare
the crap out of me. If he was gonna do
anything, he would have done
something by now. Alright.... -This guy is just a spook.
-I'm taking this right. He's taking a right. He can see my blinker, of
course he's taking a right, cuz he sees that
I'm taking a right. Alright, guys,
chill out, chill out. It's ok, just breathe,
just make a right up here. Yeah, I'm breathing, ok. Is he turning? -He's passing...
-He passed us. See, you guys, come on... Did you see that? It wasn't the same guy. How do you know it
wasn't the same guy? It was just someone in a van
who has a van very similar to the one we
saw previously. And he wanted to turn
right, but just didn't? Alright, alright, so
let's just get to the diner. Yeah. He's gone. Alright, so how far is
it to er...the house? It's like
another 15 minutes. I just want to get there
and I want to lock the door and I want to
get in bed. Sounds good. Can we hit up a
diner first still? Yeah. I'm hungry. How bout a drink? Yeah, a drink would be
really great actually. I'll take a double. I think I will share that
with you... Oh will you? monsieur Mark. And I believe that
someone here is turning 21. Hmmm. Yeah. Uh oh. First drink's on me. Oh man. Thank you. My heart is like pounding. Is your heart pounding? My heart's pounding. Are you feeling better? That just
knocked it out of me. Yeah right. God! We're almost there. Wait, so what's in a Panini? Melted Cheese... Hi. Hi. Sorry about my friend
with the camera, shoving it in
everyone's face. C'mon. Everyone ready? Who's going first? I'll go. I pick you. Uh, ok. Can I get a
veggie burger... Sure. deluxe? What? It's a
perfectly delicious meal, and I don't understand
why you ridicule it. Broiled Cod? The cod ladies
and gentlemen. Can we not give a Mr.
close up to my fish? At a diner, broiled cod? You want to try some? That doesn't
sound good... She doesn't feel good,
why would you say that? Banana split for
the birthday girl? With nuts. And the sauce. And cherries. Just trying to help. Just trying to
be a good boy. And provide for my friends,
being the hunter gatherer that I am. We're the berry pickers. Are you gonna shoot
a deer this weekend? Yeah I am. OK, no no. Some nice Venison. I'm sorry we got
some vegetarians. Yeah, we can cook
it in the fireplace. We're gonna shoot
him right in the face. That would be a great idea. Guys, guys. Look out the window. That's not funny Miriam. I'm not trying to be funny. Look at the van. It's the same van. It's the same color. It's the same size. He's watching us. He's driving off. But this isn't
coincidence anymore. What is his problem? I mean like what... Even if we were, what would
we say if we called someone? This guy's following us,
but he doesn't talk to us? We can't call the police. We have nothing to say. This is ridiculous. We'll just pay
on our way out. Shit, guys...I
think he's right here. Shit! No he is not... Calm down. Just don't look at him. Hold on. Leo, DO NOT film him! Oh my god! Stop filming him. No, I wanna see
if I can see him. Mark, what are you doing? Wait, what are you doing? MARK! Mark, where are you going? Jesus, come back. Don't go outside. What is he doing? Is he out of his mind? Oh my god, Oh my god! What is he trying to prove? What is he...Is
he gonna go...? Mark, get away from there. What are you doing? Mark! I'm gonna kill him! No Cassy,
don't go outside. Cassy! Alright, let's go. We need to go. We need to go...NOW! I can't believe
you did that. Don't do that. Did he say anything to you? Mark, did...did he
say anything to you? Enough with the
camera, Leo! I'm sorry. Yeah, it's really not cool. You guys, I really
don't know where we are. You what? I don't know where we are, I
don't recognize any of this. Pull over. Right here? Yes, pull over
and give me the map. Ok, OK! There's just nothing. There's
nothing... Everywhere. Alright, we were on 209, and
then you turned onto...213. Alright, OK, go up the
road a little bit more. You're going to come
to an intersection, and then take a right. Then go up that
road a little bit. And then at the next
intersection take a left and we should be
almost there. Are you sure? Yeah. Alright. How far away is it
once we do that? Was I right? Are we almost there? Yeah, I think this is
the driveway right here. Are you sure? I'm sure this
is the driveway. -Oh...
-Sweet! I have to piss. I have to pee too. It's time to
drink some beer. [Cheering and laughter] Yes, we are, we deserve it. Especially after today. My bladder is thinking about
bursting in about 5 seconds. Yeah, do you
have to pee? You guys I think
we're almost here. Yeah, I do. Roll down the windows. I want to see. What if I tickle you? Why would you do that? You guys, shine
your flashlights, I want to see
the house. This is pretty in the
middle of nowhere. Oooh!!! Oh my god, wow! Cool. Are we stuck? Are you stuck? We get this far and
then you get stuck? Alright, Alright. We're parking the car here. Alright, no just put it
in reverse and then... We made it.
We made it. We're stuck! Let's just go home. Alright, we're going in. Let's just go. I just pee'd all
over Cassy. It's your fault. We're gone... Oh my god. How does your Aunt Gail
get up this driveway? I don't know. But check out
that house though. We get to spend the
whole weekend there. This is going to be
an awesome weekend. It's pretty big. Yeah. Let's get in there. It's kinda dark. Go, go, go go go. I have to urinate. Urinate? I have to make urine,
out of my special parts. Go, go, go, go. Alright let's do it. I'm calling the
flashlights. Miriam, I
really have to pee. Can we just go in? I'm getting my bag. Someone get my bag. Miriam, I swear to God... Tanya, I'm coming... I'll dribble all the
way to the door. Nasty! Miriam, got stuck. That's pretty funny right? Where is it, where is it? Oh my God, Oh my God! Alright, can you give me the
flashlight so I can see what I'm doing? Tanya's gonna
piss her pants. I'm glad you find
this amusing you know. Keys are under
the drainpipe. What's a drainpipe? You don't oh, you don't... I don't know. I live in Manhattan. Where are the drainpipes? This is fine, this is fine. Where are the keys,
where are the keys? Can you guys try to
find a drainpipe? It's right here. Oh hey... Did you find it? Yeah I see the key. Put it in. Put it in. I'm trying I'm trying. Open the door
and let me go by. Nice. It's kind of cold in here. Does this foyer light work? Mark, turn the light on. This is a big house. Are the lights not working? Are you kidding? Try another one. Maybe that one's broken. The light didn't
work in the bathroom? No it didn't. Just go, just
go, I have to pee. Here, I'll hold
your flashlight. Are you gonna go? I just went. Well, can you go in there with
me, so I'm not by myself? Well that was quick. Wait, so none of
these lights work? I guess not. We should be able to
find a fuse or something. Oh my God! There's no electricity. At all? No. I don't know. Like maybe if we try
upstairs or something? I mean she knows
we're coming so. You're kidding me,
they're not working. Like none of them. So now what? Maybe like if we
go around the house there's an outside
one or something, because
it has to be somewhere. Do you guys see that? No. It looks like a
light in the distance. Do you see that? A flashlight. It's a car. No Way. That's not a car. That is not. You guys, you
think it might be... Uh, I don't see anything. No, it's not. Guys, everyone get
back inside. You guys, It might be that
guy, it might be that guy. Was that a van? I don't know. You guys, we don't
even know if it's him. Who else would it be? Could it be a
neighbor or somebody? Guys, could you shut
up, I'm trying to listen. Did we lock the door? Yes, the door's locked. Alright, hold on the
light's right there. I see somebody. Ahh! Shh, Shh, Shut up. Is he coming? Oh my god. Mark! Hit him with
your flashlight. [Knocking on door] Miriam? Wait! What? Miriam? Aunt Gail? Yeah! Oh my God, are
you kidding me? Hi! You scared us. Good to see you. I'm sorry, and I'm so
sorry about the lights. OK. We were half way to Maine,
and we realized they forgot to put the power back on
after they did work. Oh. So that's what
the problem is. I can't believe you're all
standing here in the dark, I feel so bad. We thought we were screwed. Oh no no, I would never
leave you here like this. You would have no hot water,
no kitchen, no nothing. You would really
be in trouble. No heat... And I think
it's gonna be like 40 below this weekend. Oh Oh great. That would have
been fun right. You must be Leo. That's me. I could tell by the camera. And this is
Tanya, Cassy and Mark. Hi you guys. My friends from school. Hi, nice to meet you,
thank you for having us. Well thanks for spending
her birthday with her. Happy Birthday! So glad you
could all come. Thanks for having us. You're gonna
have a lot of fun. Hopefully. But not too much fun. But anyway...Let me
turn the lights on. Let me get everything
settled, and show you how everything works and
where everything is. Thanks Aunt Gail. How dumb do you feel? Really dumb! This is too
much for one day. But guys, if we could not
say anything about the guy in the van or the
diner or anything. I mean, she is
super over-protective. We're lucky she's even
letting us have this cabin. And if we could just not say
anything that would be great. That's fine. Yay! Thank you! Much better right? Yeah, much better. Thank you so much. I'm so sorry
about that you guys. I mean, luckily
we remembered. We were like eeeek! I know, I was like
running around outside, and we didn't
know what to do. So how was your trip? Everything was good? Cold and snowy. Oh that's right you
drove up in the snow storm. Oh no. Can't wait to
use the fireplace. Well it's all gonna
get better from here. Yes. You're gonna
have a great time. You're gonna
relax...the country. So nice. Let me show you how
everything works. Yeah. Thank you so much Aunt Gail. Alright. I heard every word. You better not have
heard every word. Leo! Jeez! Gimme the camera. Nope! OK, everybody, come say
good bye, I gotta go. Happy Birthday! Thank you so much
for everything. Seriously. Oh, have a really
really really great weekend. It was nice to
meet all of you guys. It was nice to meet you. Nice to meet you.
No problem. Thanks for having us. Take good care of
her particularly. Thank you for the house. Yeah. Your welcome. And safe trip. Yeah, we're gonna have fun. And your uncle is
asleep in the car. Of course he is. I know, always, right, and
I want him to stay that way all the way to Maine, so I
wanna get going right now. Alright, kisses
for everyone. Have a good
time you guys. -Thank you so much.
-Bye. -Bye bye.
-Bye. Safe trip. Bye Aunt Gail. See ya later. Alright, so
what do we do now? Party! This is not funny. Hello? Surprise!!! Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday Miriam. Happy Birthday Miriam. Thank you guys so much. You have to try
and blow them out. Uh oh! A bigger wish. C'mon, Oh... C'mon. Oh, oh... [Cheering and clapping] Oh, Oh, it might
be coming back. [Cheering and laughing] Oh, you are the woman. [Cheering] Happy Birthday sweetie. That's really nice. Thanks, thanks a lot. Aw, honey, don't cry. We love you, happy birthday. Thank you.
You're welcome. Thank you... We love you,
we love you. Mark... Need to hug someone... Thank you guys so much. That was completely
unexpected and really really sweet. Alright, let's
eat some cake. Let's get drunk!!! Ooooh!!! Right in the fire. You just farted
right in the fire. You're gonna burn
the house down. Is the fire dying? No, it exploded
when he farted. Jesus Christ! I gotta like have my
lemonade and my cool aid. Gots tuh have
that purple drink! This is my 24
thousand square inch TV. I don't know how to work
it, I don't know what these buttons do, but
it looks big. Tell me what's on
your mind dumb chick. I don't
know...Stuff I guess. Stuff? Like what, like
bubble gum and puppies? Like, everything,
just everything. Everything. Everything. Everything? Wow that's so hot. I know. You wanna fuck? O.K. Let's do it! O.K. So whoever loses
has to drink...that. Not me. Alright, who wants
to go first, me. Son of a bee-atch! Son of a.... [Burps] Excuse me. Oh my God, burp. Oh my God, burp. Want some of this pot pie? Courtesy of Starbucks. Have some of that. Chicken pot pie! Chicken pot pie! You stick it up your butt! [Laughter] C'mon, get outta here. Stop it guys! Are you really
taking a bubble bath? Get outta here! Look at him, he's
taking a bubble bath. No c'mon, get out! What's wrong Leo, you don't
like the camera on you? You don't like
it in your face? Nice! Get out!!! We're leaving,
we're leaving, OK. Enjoy your bath. I will! Good morning. Welcome to cooking with Leo. Do we have any
Tabasco sauce? Look at the smoke
coming from the pan. That's really not ok. We're going, we're going. Bam! Bam, oh shocking, his
technique is, really! Ooh! Ooh, look at that. Perfection. Cuz it's freakin' freezing! Leo, looks at
this for a second. Come here. Oh my God! What? Are you guys
filming my boobs again? What are you filming? Nothing. You're such an asshole! It's for Leo, for later. Oh really... Anyway! Well, you're shoving it in
our face the whole weekend. What do you want us to do? Just go with it. Just go with it. Just go with it
man, just go. Just go with the flow. Maybe I'll make a... Put some stuff
together after the weekend. Yeah, I want a copy. You have to make me a copy. OK, action. Watch it! Alright, we're good. OK. So, Take 2. Alright. So what do you think
about the weekend so far? Um, pretty
hectic, getting here. Pretty crazy, pretty scary. That snow storm was... That was horrible. And then the windy
road with Tanya. Oh God, I thought she was
gonna vomit all over me. I know, I felt so bad. Well, we're here now, and
we're gonna have a good time. Yeah! We're gonna go Sprelunking. Yes, Sprelunking,
we're going sprelunking. ...With these incredible
flashlights that I got. Yeah, he's crazy. What do you guys think about
the guy last night, in the van? So tell me some deep dark
secrets about yourself. Some deep dark secrets? Some really
embarrassing stuff. I want the
exclusive scoop on you. I don't know. You gonna make a big
high-budget Hollywood film out of this? Yeah. I definitely
like documentaries. Like this kinda? Um... Um... Like civil rights and stuff? Yeah, like civil
rights, anything on war, race...things that are
taboo in this country? I love doing
stuff about that. My job, blah, you really want
to talk about my shitty job. I hate my job. I really hate my job. I don't like waiting tables. I never have, I never will. And it's the only thing that
seems to be able to keep me in New York,
keep me in school. Allow me to afford
everything, you know. And it sucks. So what do you think
about the weekend so far? Uh, it'll get better. Oh, yeah you were
sick yesterday. I felt so bad. The roads were pretty bad. And then the winding roads? That probably
didn't help at all. It was terrible. It was so bad. That constant flash before
you have to throw up is... Yeah, I felt pretty
bad, and then uh, the van. That was kinda weird. No, I don't want to get wet,
I don't want to get dirty, I don't want to get cold... No, it should be fun though. We have snowsuits
and stuff, whatever. I can't move in
those things. Ha, Ha. Get the one piece suit
like in A Christmas Story. Well alright, thanks
for the interview. I'm gonna go see what
Mark and Cassy are doing. Hmm. O.K. Wakey, wakey,
eggs and bakey! Time to go. Hey pretty lady,
wanna go cave exploring? C'mon baby, I'm so sorry
about before and I promise you, we're gonna
have such a good time. And you know I love you. Please, please please. And what about Miriam? What about me? It's her birthday. You know you wanna have
a good time for Miriam. Please, I'm so sorry. Don't read your
book all day. OK, let's go get Tanya. Tanya!!! You coming? Please? She's pretty convincing. Hello, hello? You ever play
steam-roller Tanya? Steam-roller... No! Steam-roller! C'mon, time to go. NO! C'mon, I heard that there's
these Indian murals and paintings in the caves. I really don't care. You're gonna
want to see them. They're for your artwork. And everything that
you love to do, please? I don't care Mark. Pretty please. I don't care. Do it for the
Indians, please? No. Do it for Miriam? No. It's her birthday. I love you, but no. I love you. I don't want you to be
here by yourself all day. Because it's cold out Mark. It's not that cold out. It's about 50
degrees outside. It looks cold out
there, but it's not. We're gonna have fun. No we're not. What are you
gonna do out here? I'm gonna be comfy. Look at this bed. This bed is so nice. You know what's gonna
be even more comfy? After you're out in the cold
for a little bit, having a good time, then you can
come and crash inside. I don't want to be cold. I never want to be cold. Please? We're going. I'm making you go. I'm not going. That's it, you're going. Mark... I swear to God... She's going, I'll
drag her the whole way. Aw, don't you feel
bad for them Leo? No! This is what comes when you
try to push your girlfriend in the snow, and
she's stronger than you. How do you feel
about that Mark? That almost makes
this worth it, actually. Do that a couple more times
Mark, and we might be even. Come here love of my life. What? What is that? Well there's a
shot for you Leo. Oh, that's
pretty disgusting. Why would we go that way if
we came from the other way? That's the way we came. That's not the way we came. That's the way we came. I promise you that we
basically went in a generally
straight direction. So if we go back
the way we came. I don't remember a
straight direction. We basically went in a
generally straight direction? Can you please knock the
pride act off, and just admit that we're lost. I'm not being
proud right now. I'm just saying
that we... Why would I
want us to be more in the
woods than we are? OK, now this is the way
we went, so let's just go. Well we went the way you
guys suggested, not the way I wanted to go. I said we should go the
other way, you guys wanted to go back along the path
of the waterfall right? Well, oh, let's take this
unknown unmarked way that Mark suggests, or take
the path that we've already taken and know that leads
to a certain direction. That's not what we did. He's YOUR boyfriend. So it's MY fault now? No, I'm just
saying talk to him. Did you try your
cell phone? Well if there's no service
in the house, why would there be
service in the woods? I don't know. Maybe...it's
worth a shot, right? What about your
walkie-talkie? There's no one to
talk to on the channel. We can try
some channels? Does anybody see
anything around that... I don't see a
God-Damned thing! OK, calm down for one second
and let me ask a question. Do you see anything that you
might have noticed earlier, anybody? Trees? Would you knock off the
act Tanya, I'm over it. I'm over this too. Yeah, so is everybody,
join the fucking club! Look around, maybe you
saw something weird, just look around. There was that deer thing. Wait, where's Miriam? Well, we can't just keep... Cassy, are you OK? Careful guys, OK? Did you just
say careful guys? Did you honestly
just say careful guys? What is your problem? Look, I didn't even
want to get out here. No one forced you to come. No, you convinced me. All you've done all weekend
is bitch and moan and... You convinced me that
everything would be ok and we are now lost. criticize me for nothing. For nothing? Look where we are? You're leading us. You can't put
all of this on me. The entire trip
you've blamed this on me. For your own
little insecurities. Now let's just keep going! But going where? What insecurities
Mark, please enlighten me. Guys, guys, guys,
please knock it off. Time out. Shh, Shh! What was that? Shine your light over there. Did you hear that? Yeah, did you? Let's just keep
going this way. It's probably just a
bird or something. Wait, Wait! It was just an animal. It was just a bird. Did you hear something? That's a pretty big bird. Let's go. Aren't there supposed to be
bears out in these woods? God, don't do that. Don't do that! Please don't say that OK? I'm just saying we should
think about the reality of the situation if
there's bears out here. I'd prefer not to. Shh, Shh!!! Oh shit, you guys! Shh! What the fuck kind of
animal makes that noise? What the fuck is that? You guys, c'mon. I don't see anything. There's animal
tracks everywhere. They're all
fucking animal tracks. Fuck, fuck, fuck me! Do you see anything? Oh god. That scared the shit out
of me Tanya, knock it off. Yeah, but it's far away. It's some
animal in the woods. It's not a big deal. What kind of animal do
you know that makes that kind of sound? A bird, I don't know. It's still there. That's a bird. That's not a
fucking bird Tanya! NO shit, it's not a bird! Mark, is your
walkie-talkie on? No, you won't get
any channels out here. Well, what is that then? I don't know. Just static. Anybody? Did you hear that? What was that? What WAS that? What was that? Holy shit! Run! Guys, stop!!! Guys stop!!! Stop, don't run. God dammit, stop! Oh shut up Mark, let's go! Shit, we lost
them, we lost them. Guys C'mon! What WAS that? What are you guys doing? Stop running. Let's go, let's
go, let's go. Stop running, God Dammit, it
was just a fucking branch. You hear that? What? Is that water? Why are you laughing? You son-of-a-bitch,
are you laughing? It's the waterfall. Wait, the waterfall is
near the house, isn't it? Yeah, we can't be far. We just keep going
this way and around. Oh, thank God. It's getting louder. Oh, I never heard anything
that good in my life. Wait, what's that light. Oh my God, Oh my God! I think we just take
these footsteps this way. Miriam, it's your birthday. Happy Birthday. Happy Birthday! Thank God. We made it. Yes! Oh, you're such a jackass. I can't believe you
recorded us the whole time... You're crazy. Oh, my God, my
hands are freezing. Let me just take a
moment to adore this. This is a
beautiful wonderful... Where did Aunt
Gail get this? She really likes
Halloween, I don't know. Don't ask me. What are we
having for dinner? I believe pasta
if that's cool. And who's cooking it. I'm not cooking. I can't cook. C'mon! And you don't
want me to cook. I'm hungry! Oh, no. You look like my mom. You're mom, I
look like Shirley? Leo, Leo let's talk about
this trip you're going on with your friends? OK? Sit down, sit down, alright. Leo, are there
gonna be girls on this trip? Yeah mom. Answer me! Mom, they're gonna be
in separate bedrooms. Leo, did you pack
some condoms honey? Did ya? I'm serious right now! Did ya? I don't trust
those WHOO-ERS. I don't trust those
sluts, but I trust my baby! Does anyone else
want to try it on? I think you should go for it
Tanya, I don't think my hair can fit in that thing. You don't want to try it on? How'd you finish
your food that fast? I was freakin' hungry. [Phone ringing] I'm not gonna
answer my Aunt's phone. You think I should? I don't know. Hello? They hung up. Mark, did you forget to call
your mother this weekend? I did, she's very
overprotective. You love my
mother, don't make fun. I love your mother! Oh! I love YOUR mother too Leo. [Phone ringing] I LOVE your mother. Hello? Hello? Again, no one. So, I'd like to make a toast
if I may, to forgiveness, to birthdays and
friendship and a great time. Cheers! [Knocking] That's weird. There's no car here. Who's there? Is that any
neighbors or anything? You'd have to have
a car to get here. It's miles from anyone. Who's there? Who's there? You see anybody? There's no one there. What? Don't open the door! What is that? What is it? What the hell. You wanna play it? Let's just play it. You guys didn't
see anything? Not one car? Wait a second. That's my car. That's us. That's the guy in
that fucking van. Remember the van? No! It has to be. That means he
followed us up here. He followed us up here. Oh my God. Oh my God. That's the house. He's been here the
whole fucking time. He's been here the whole
fucking time watching us. What do we do Mark,
what are we gonna do? I don't want to
watch this anymore. Turn it off. Cassy, Cassy. Look! He was in the fucking house? How did that happen? He was in the fucking house! Oh Shit! Yo that's fucking me. What the fuck! No! Fuck that! Let's go. Everybody's going right now. Everyone let's go right now. Get your
jackets and let's go. The phone's ringing. I'm not
answering the phone. Answer the phone. It stopped. I don't care about
the phone right now. Let's go. Well fucking call the
cops or something then. Let's call the cops. Oh fuck, it's
that psycho calling. Answer it! Call the fucking police! Hello? Hello? Mark call the police. There's no dial tone. What? It was just ringing. He cut the phone line. What do you mean he
cut the phone line? What do you mean? We're going right now! Let's go! Stay with me, stay with me. What? No! No! Where is the car? Where IS the car? Are you kidding me? Where is it? Everybody get
back in the house. Shit, go go! Go, go! Mark, c'mon. Are you fucking stupid? Get in the house right now. Get in the house yourself. Shut up! Get in the house Mark, are you
fucking out of your mind? Get in! Get your cell phones. Try and get reception. Just try and get a signal. Anyone have anything? Tanya? Nothing. Everyone just stay together. He's in the house. Leo come with
me, come with me. Try and get a signal. Tanya, try and get a signal. Cassy, try and get a signal. Wait, don't
leave, don't leave. I need you to put it
together right now! Just turn it on. Where should I go? I can't make all the
cell phones dial, please girls keep trying! I'm trying!!! Oh my God, I have a signal. Call 911! Please... Oh my God. Please, help us I have an
emergency, there's someone trying to get us please. Please come help us please. Hello? Hello!!! What happened? I lost the call. Try it again,
just try it again. I can't get it. I can't. What are we gonna do? Mark where are you going? Mark, please don't do this. Please don't do this, just
stay with us, we'll stay over here. Where's the other one? Mark!!! Cassy!!! Mark, no. Uh, shit run, run! Oh my God, oh my God! Get upstairs! Shut the door!!! I'm not leaving! We need to get out
and go get help. I can't leave. We need to get downstairs. No, we need to stay here. We need to get
downstairs Miriam. We have to go. I can't. What are we gonna do? Miriam, we have
to go downstairs. Look out the window. Shh, he's leaving. Shh, Shh, turn
the flashlight off. You think he sees us? We need to get out of here. He's leaving. Ok, OK. OK, we're going downstairs. OK. Tanya, take the camera. I'm not taking the camera. If he comes back just try
to catch him on tape, OK? Why do we need the
camera, I'm not recording. Tanya, please. Just take the camera
and keep recording. No!!! Tanya, please, I gotta figure
out how to get outta here. Please just take the camera,
I need to figure this out. Tanya, we gotta go now. Just take the camera. Let's go now. We're going downstairs. Careful. C'mon let's go. C'mon let's go. Be quiet. Why is it so cold in here? No, we can't go
out that way. Oh shit, RUN!!! [Screaming] Somebody please! Help me! [Screaming] [Screaming] [Screaming] [Video chatter] [Video chatter] [Static] Surprise! [Laughter] Yeah! [Laughter]
for a couple days. You behave. No peeing on the floor. Behave, alright. I'm coming. So you're gonna be
filming like the whole time? Definitely, I just
go this, yesterday. Yeah, how much was it? Get what? The City. Oh, the view,
it's really nice. Leo, what are you doing? Get back in the car! I'm fine. Leo, you're
gonna fall out. I would slow down,
but there are cars behind us, and I can't
slow down that much. I'll be fine, I
wanna get this. That's the first
thing we're buying at the store...coffee. Hey, birthday girl. Hey, how ya doing? Good, how are you? Good, I am just going
through Grand Central, and we are on our
way to get you so where are you
gonna be at? -No.
-Are you feeling better? Um, yeah, yeah. I think the
straight road is helping. Do you need anything or... We have water up here. Um, I'm ok. We have water or
coffee cake or something. No, um, I'm good. Coffee cake for
car sickness? I don't... It's getting
pretty snowy out guys. Yeah, it is. My days on the farm. I used to walk 20 miles
barefoot in the snow. Listen, she has
the window down, just take deep breaths. As soon as we can pull
over, let's just pull over. Alright, as soon as I
can pull over, sweetie, I promise I'm going
to pull over. This road is fucking crazy. Oh, my God yeah. Look at
that over there. It's like... Look
at those icicles. Oh my god
that's awesome. Well can we... we can look at
the beautiful scenery later, if we could just... Well I'm going as
fast as I can Mark, ok? No, we don't have to go
fast, but let's just. But you know I
mean, I'm trying. Yeah, just do it. She's sick. I think it's ok,
I think it's ok. Please do, it's ok,
she'll be alright. Just put the hazards on. Just go all the way over. Alright, I'll go
all the way over. Ooh... Jeez, Oooh. Ok, we're ok. This is good. She's getting out. Alright, I'm putting
the hazards on. Is she, is she ok? -Leo!
-What? You really. It's not cool
to film her right now. Not right now. She's really
not feeling well. Tanya, do you
want some water?. We've got lots of
bottles of water right here. I think we should go get her
to like a bathroom maybe. Like some
medicine or something? You guys, I'll be,
I'm fine, it's just... Well, no you're not fine. No, it's, the air's good. The air's really good. I think that there's probably
a gas station or something. We can probably go
to a gas station. I'm gonna
get back on the road. Yeah, but where? Where are we? She doesn't look good. Well alright,
there has to be a gas station
or restaurant. I think I saw a
couple miles ago, that there's a
town coming up. Good. Sweetie we're getting you
there as soon as we can ok? No, it's fine. I'm fine. No, we're almost there. If you're not feeling
well, then you know... Don't worry... the
house will be there... Who's this asshole? no matter what time
we get there. I don't know. Just someone passing us. Wow, nice move buddy. It's not dangerous outside
right now or anything. It's fine, okay. Oh, he's slowing down now. Smart move bud. Why'd you pass us buddy? You got really far. I know. Yeah, what is he doing? WHAT is he DOING? I don't know. Can you guys. Is it clear? Can you see
around him? Yeah, if you go now,
you're gonna have to go kind
of quickly. Ohhh. Oh my God! Alright, it's ok. Oh, be careful honey. I will, I will. Yeah, thanks. You jerk! Leo, don't film him. What's he doing? Leo, that's not
helping, I don't know. The roads are horrible. How dare he. Someone's got a teeny dick. What? That's why men do that. Why men do what? It's the teeny
dick thing. They have to make
up for it somehow so they be dicks
on the road. Well, we are classy ladies and
we got through it classily. God! Alright, that
was kinda weird. That was weird. Some people
have issues right. Whatever. We're fine. But, like really,
road rage right now? Look at it outside. It's really awful, and I
don't know why people feel the need to do that. Yeah, that was
pretty bad, we skidded. I know, but
let's just be thankful nothing
worse happened. Where is this
town, there's nothing. There's is something. I, there, I remember there
was something up ahead, I think we're
gonna be fine. I hope not... It's alright. Here comes this
guy again. What? He's coming back? Is that the same guy? Here's this guy again. Oh, no. Ree-dic-u-lous! Miriam, just drive
really slowly please. I'm trying, but he's
getting really close guys. He's
beeping at us. What the hell
is your problem? What do you want me to do? What are you
trying to prove buddy? Guys, should I pull
over, what should I do? Just keep going,
just keep going! Just, yeah, just
pull over because... No, we can't pull over,
there's no where to pull over. No Mark, there's,
there's no where to go. Just don't pull over,
we'll just keep going. Oh my God! Leo, I don't think he
likes you filming him. You guys, I'm
feeling really sick. Oh my God! You guys, she
doesn't feel good. Well, what are we supposed
to, well we can't stop... I'm doing my best... No way, he's passing us,
hey he's passing us again... Just pass us already. Fine, go already. Who is this guy? NO way! Just go! You kidding me. Wow. Jerk off. We have to find
somewhere really soon. She doesn't feel good. This is not ok. There's nothing. Look ahead,
there's nothing ahead. I'm trying, then just
keep going and as soon as you see something
just pull over. I'm going. You guys, just get there. I'm trying. Just get as far away from
this asshole as possible. He's gone. Where did, he's guh... He just sped up and went... Trying to mess up
someone else's day. Leo, maybe we should put
the camera away right now. Yeah, enough with the
camera Leo, seriously. I think, a break would be... No, it'll be good. You guys'll like it
and then, It'll... I don't think we're gonna
like a car chase.. You keep saying that
Leo, but it's not funny. Let's just turn the
camera off, please? Leo, please turn it off. Alright, I'll just
keep it pointed forward. Are you feeling
better in the front? Uh, yeah Leo...I'm great. Yeah, I really
feel like we must be coming up to
something soon. There's gotta be a
gas station somewhere. Oh wait, here she comes. Hey Tanya. Hey, you want some chips? I'm alright, thank you. You want some chips? Are you feeling better? Yeah, thanks...
how are you? Kinda cold. Kinda. Alright, so... You guys, how bout
some real food, anybody? Yeah! Yeah! Like a diner or something? Pringles are great but... Yeah, grilled
cheese sandwich! Grilled Cheese! You and that camera,
all vacation, really. It's gonna be worth it. Do you want some chips? Nah, I'm good. I got, who do I got? I got the crackers. Crackers. Guys? What? Who is that? That's the van. Is that? No it's not? No way! Let's just get in the car
and get something to eat ok? Are you
kidding me? We should go guys... Let's just go,
let's...c'mon. Lock the car. Alright, this is weird. This is really messed up. Is that the same guy? Maybe it's just like
a hick, like a guy who lives around
here maybe? Like, married his sister or
something and skins animals. Yeah, but then what about
doing it before with driving in front and then
stopping and... Alright I think
we're ready to go. Maybe it's not
the same guy. Alright let's just go. OK, go. Alright, I'm
trying to go right now. AAAAHHHH!!! Oh my God!!! Jesus! You guys forgot
this in the bathroom. Thank you. Oh my God! Yeah, no problem. Alright, be safe. Sorry, thank you. Alright, OK, so
let's go, let's go. This is your phone Cassy? Sorry. Just, yeah, please. Is anyone coming
from that side guys? You're ok. I just want to get the
hell out of here ok? If he goes the other way,
if he goes the other way, we're fine, careful. He's not going
the other way. No, he was just coming
from the same direction Is he following us? That we were before and... He's gonna uh.... just
make a right up ahead. Yeah he's
friggin following us. Oh my God. Alright, I think
there's a turn up here... Does anybody have any
cell phone service, can you guys check? Nothing. No. Everyone's out? Are you kidding
me right now? No, just calm down ok, cuz
you're stressing me out. He's right behind us. I know he's right
behind us Leo, that's why you should
not stress out. He's kind of close too. You guys just relax, it's ok,
he's not gonna do anything. His headlights scare
the crap out of me. If he was gonna do
anything, he would have done
something by now. Alright.... -This guy is just a spook.
-I'm taking this right. He's taking a right. He can see my blinker, of
course he's taking a right, cuz he sees that
I'm taking a right. Alright, guys,
chill out, chill out. It's ok, just breathe,
just make a right up here. Yeah, I'm breathing, ok. Is he turning? -He's passing...
-He passed us. See, you guys, come on... Did you see that? It wasn't the same guy. How do you know it
wasn't the same guy? It was just someone in a van
who has a van very similar to the one we
saw previously. And he wanted to turn
right, but just didn't? Alright, alright, so
let's just get to the diner. Yeah. He's gone. Alright, so how far is
it to er...the house? It's like
another 15 minutes. I just want to get there
and I want to lock the door and I want to
get in bed. Sounds good. Can we hit up a
diner first still? Yeah. I'm hungry. How bout a drink? Yeah, a drink would be
really great actually. I'll take a double. I think I will share that
with you... Oh will you? monsieur Mark. And I believe that
someone here is turning 21. Hmmm. Yeah. Uh oh. First drink's on me. Oh man. Thank you. My heart is like pounding. Is your heart pounding? My heart's pounding. Are you feeling better? That just
knocked it out of me. Yeah right. God! We're almost there. Wait, so what's in a Panini? Melted Cheese... Hi. Hi. Sorry about my friend
with the camera, shoving it in
everyone's face. C'mon. Everyone ready? Who's going first? I'll go. I pick you. Uh, ok. Can I get a
veggie burger... Sure. deluxe? What? It's a
perfectly delicious meal, and I don't understand
why you ridicule it. Broiled Cod? The cod ladies
and gentlemen. Can we not give a Mr.
close up to my fish? At a diner, broiled cod? You want to try some? That doesn't
sound good... She doesn't feel good,
why would you say that? Banana split for
the birthday girl? With nuts. And the sauce. And cherries. Just trying to help. Just trying to
be a good boy. And provide for my friends,
being the hunter gatherer that I am. We're the berry pickers. Are you gonna shoot
a deer this weekend? Yeah I am. OK, no no. Some nice Venison. I'm sorry we got
some vegetarians. Yeah, we can cook
it in the fireplace. We're gonna shoot
him right in the face. That would be a great idea. Guys, guys. Look out the window. That's not funny Miriam. I'm not trying to be funny. Look at the van. It's the same van. It's the same color. It's the same size. He's watching us. He's driving off. But this isn't
coincidence anymore. What is his problem? I mean like what... Even if we were, what would
we say if we called someone? This guy's following us,
but he doesn't talk to us? We can't call the police. We have nothing to say. This is ridiculous. We'll just pay
on our way out. Shit, guys...I
think he's right here. Shit! No he is not... Calm down. Just don't look at him. Hold on. Leo, DO NOT film him! Oh my god! Stop filming him. No, I wanna see
if I can see him. Mark, what are you doing? Wait, what are you doing? MARK! Mark, where are you going? Jesus, come back. Don't go outside. What is he doing? Is he out of his mind? Oh my god, Oh my god! What is he trying to prove? What is he...Is
he gonna go...? Mark, get away from there. What are you doing? Mark! I'm gonna kill him! No Cassy,
don't go outside. Cassy! Alright, let's go. We need to go. We need to go...NOW! I can't believe
you did that. Don't do that. Did he say anything to you? Mark, did...did he
say anything to you? Enough with the
camera, Leo! I'm sorry. Yeah, it's really not cool. You guys, I really
don't know where we are. You what? I don't know where we are, I
don't recognize any of this. Pull over. Right here? Yes, pull over
and give me the map. Ok, OK! There's just nothing. There's
nothing... Everywhere. Alright, we were on 209, and
then you turned onto...213. Alright, OK, go up the
road a little bit more. You're going to come
to an intersection, and then take a right. Then go up that
road a little bit. And then at the next
intersection take a left and we should be
almost there. Are you sure? Yeah. Alright. How far away is it
once we do that? Was I right? Are we almost there? Yeah, I think this is
the driveway right here. Are you sure? I'm sure this
is the driveway. -Oh...
-Sweet! I have to piss. I have to pee too. It's time to
drink some beer. [Cheering and laughter] Yes, we are, we deserve it. Especially after today. My bladder is thinking about
bursting in about 5 seconds. Yeah, do you
have to pee? You guys I think
we're almost here. Yeah, I do. Roll down the windows. I want to see. What if I tickle you? Why would you do that? You guys, shine
your flashlights, I want to see
the house. This is pretty in the
middle of nowhere. Oooh!!! Oh my god, wow! Cool. Are we stuck? Are you stuck? We get this far and
then you get stuck? Alright, Alright. We're parking the car here. Alright, no just put it
in reverse and then... We made it.
We made it. We're stuck! Let's just go home. Alright, we're going in. Let's just go. I just pee'd all
over Cassy. It's your fault. We're gone... Oh my god. How does your Aunt Gail
get up this driveway? I don't know. But check out
that house though. We get to spend the
whole weekend there. This is going to be
an awesome weekend. It's pretty big. Yeah. Let's get in there. It's kinda dark. Go, go, go go go. I have to urinate. Urinate? I have to make urine,
out of my special parts. Go, go, go, go. Alright let's do it. I'm calling the
flashlights. Miriam, I
really have to pee. Can we just go in? I'm getting my bag. Someone get my bag. Miriam, I swear to God... Tanya, I'm coming... I'll dribble all the
way to the door. Nasty! Miriam, got stuck. That's pretty funny right? Where is it, where is it? Oh my God, Oh my God! Alright, can you give me the
flashlight so I can see what I'm doing? Tanya's gonna
piss her pants. I'm glad you find
this amusing you know. Keys are under
the drainpipe. What's a drainpipe? You don't oh, you don't... I don't know. I live in Manhattan. Where are the drainpipes? This is fine, this is fine. Where are the keys,
where are the keys? Can you guys try to
find a drainpipe? It's right here. Oh hey... Did you find it? Yeah I see the key. Put it in. Put it in. I'm trying I'm trying. Open the door
and let me go by. Nice. It's kind of cold in here. Does this foyer light work? Mark, turn the light on. This is a big house. Are the lights not working? Are you kidding? Try another one. Maybe that one's broken. The light didn't
work in the bathroom? No it didn't. Just go, just
go, I have to pee. Here, I'll hold
your flashlight. Are you gonna go? I just went. Well, can you go in there with
me, so I'm not by myself? Well that was quick. Wait, so none of
these lights work? I guess not. We should be able to
find a fuse or something. Oh my God! There's no electricity. At all? No. I don't know. Like maybe if we try
upstairs or something? I mean she knows
we're coming so. You're kidding me,
they're not working. Like none of them. So now what? Maybe like if we
go around the house there's an outside
one or something, because
it has to be somewhere. Do you guys see that? No. It looks like a
light in the distance. Do you see that? A flashlight. It's a car. No Way. That's not a car. That is not. You guys, you
think it might be... Uh, I don't see anything. No, it's not. Guys, everyone get
back inside. You guys, It might be that
guy, it might be that guy. Was that a van? I don't know. You guys, we don't
even know if it's him. Who else would it be? Could it be a
neighbor or somebody? Guys, could you shut
up, I'm trying to listen. Did we lock the door? Yes, the door's locked. Alright, hold on the
light's right there. I see somebody. Ahh! Shh, Shh, Shut up. Is he coming? Oh my god. Mark! Hit him with
your flashlight. [Knocking on door] Miriam? Wait! What? Miriam? Aunt Gail? Yeah! Oh my God, are
you kidding me? Hi! You scared us. Good to see you. I'm sorry, and I'm so
sorry about the lights. OK. We were half way to Maine,
and we realized they forgot to put the power back on
after they did work. Oh. So that's what
the problem is. I can't believe you're all
standing here in the dark, I feel so bad. We thought we were screwed. Oh no no, I would never
leave you here like this. You would have no hot water,
no kitchen, no nothing. You would really
be in trouble. No heat... And I think
it's gonna be like 40 below this weekend. Oh Oh great. That would have
been fun right. You must be Leo. That's me. I could tell by the camera. And this is
Tanya, Cassy and Mark. Hi you guys. My friends from school. Hi, nice to meet you,
thank you for having us. Well thanks for spending
her birthday with her. Happy Birthday! So glad you
could all come. Thanks for having us. You're gonna
have a lot of fun. Hopefully. But not too much fun. But anyway...Let me
turn the lights on. Let me get everything
settled, and show you how everything works and
where everything is. Thanks Aunt Gail. How dumb do you feel? Really dumb! This is too
much for one day. But guys, if we could not
say anything about the guy in the van or the
diner or anything. I mean, she is
super over-protective. We're lucky she's even
letting us have this cabin. And if we could just not say
anything that would be great. That's fine. Yay! Thank you! Much better right? Yeah, much better. Thank you so much. I'm so sorry
about that you guys. I mean, luckily
we remembered. We were like eeeek! I know, I was like
running around outside, and we didn't
know what to do. So how was your trip? Everything was good? Cold and snowy. Oh that's right you
drove up in the snow storm. Oh no. Can't wait to
use the fireplace. Well it's all gonna
get better from here. Yes. You're gonna
have a great time. You're gonna
relax...the country. So nice. Let me show you how
everything works. Yeah. Thank you so much Aunt Gail. Alright. I heard every word. You better not have
heard every word. Leo! Jeez! Gimme the camera. Nope! OK, everybody, come say
good bye, I gotta go. Happy Birthday! Thank you so much
for everything. Seriously. Oh, have a really
really really great weekend. It was nice to
meet all of you guys. It was nice to meet you. Nice to meet you.
No problem. Thanks for having us. Take good care of
her particularly. Thank you for the house. Yeah. Your welcome. And safe trip. Yeah, we're gonna have fun. And your uncle is
asleep in the car. Of course he is. I know, always, right, and
I want him to stay that way all the way to Maine, so I
wanna get going right now. Alright, kisses
for everyone. Have a good
time you guys. -Thank you so much.
-Bye. -Bye bye.
-Bye. Safe trip. Bye Aunt Gail. See ya later. Alright, so
what do we do now? Party! This is not funny. Hello? Surprise!!! Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday Miriam. Happy Birthday Miriam. Thank you guys so much. You have to try
and blow them out. Uh oh! A bigger wish. C'mon, Oh... C'mon. Oh, oh... [Cheering and clapping] Oh, Oh, it might
be coming back. [Cheering and laughing] Oh, you are the woman. [Cheering] Happy Birthday sweetie. That's really nice. Thanks, thanks a lot. Aw, honey, don't cry. We love you, happy birthday. Thank you.
You're welcome. Thank you... We love you,
we love you. Mark... Need to hug someone... Thank you guys so much. That was completely
unexpected and really really sweet. Alright, let's
eat some cake. Let's get drunk!!! Ooooh!!! Right in the fire. You just farted
right in the fire. You're gonna burn
the house down. Is the fire dying? No, it exploded
when he farted. Jesus Christ! I gotta like have my
lemonade and my cool aid. Gots tuh have
that purple drink! This is my 24
thousand square inch TV. I don't know how to work
it, I don't know what these buttons do, but
it looks big. Tell me what's on
your mind dumb chick. I don't
know...Stuff I guess. Stuff? Like what, like
bubble gum and puppies? Like, everything,
just everything. Everything. Everything. Everything? Wow that's so hot. I know. You wanna fuck? O.K. Let's do it! O.K. So whoever loses
has to drink...that. Not me. Alright, who wants
to go first, me. Son of a bee-atch! Son of a.... [Burps] Excuse me. Oh my God, burp. Oh my God, burp. Want some of this pot pie? Courtesy of Starbucks. Have some of that. Chicken pot pie! Chicken pot pie! You stick it up your butt! [Laughter] C'mon, get outta here. Stop it guys! Are you really
taking a bubble bath? Get outta here! Look at him, he's
taking a bubble bath. No c'mon, get out! What's wrong Leo, you don't
like the camera on you? You don't like
it in your face? Nice! Get out!!! We're leaving,
we're leaving, OK. Enjoy your bath. I will! Good morning. Welcome to cooking with Leo. Do we have any
Tabasco sauce? Look at the smoke
coming from the pan. That's really not ok. We're going, we're going. Bam! Bam, oh shocking, his
technique is, really! Ooh! Ooh, look at that. Perfection. Cuz it's freakin' freezing! Leo, looks at
this for a second. Come here. Oh my God! What? Are you guys
filming my boobs again? What are you filming? Nothing. You're such an asshole! It's for Leo, for later. Oh really... Anyway! Well, you're shoving it in
our face the whole weekend. What do you want us to do? Just go with it. Just go with it. Just go with it
man, just go. Just go with the flow. Maybe I'll make a... Put some stuff
together after the weekend. Yeah, I want a copy. You have to make me a copy. OK, action. Watch it! Alright, we're good. OK. So, Take 2. Alright. So what do you think
about the weekend so far? Um, pretty
hectic, getting here. Pretty crazy, pretty scary. That snow storm was... That was horrible. And then the windy
road with Tanya. Oh God, I thought she was
gonna vomit all over me. I know, I felt so bad. Well, we're here now, and
we're gonna have a good time. Yeah! We're gonna go Sprelunking. Yes, Sprelunking,
we're going sprelunking. ...With these incredible
flashlights that I got. Yeah, he's crazy. What do you guys think about
the guy last night, in the van? So tell me some deep dark
secrets about yourself. Some deep dark secrets? Some really
embarrassing stuff. I want the
exclusive scoop on you. I don't know. You gonna make a big
high-budget Hollywood film out of this? Yeah. I definitely
like documentaries. Like this kinda? Um... Um... Like civil rights and stuff? Yeah, like civil
rights, anything on war, race...things that are
taboo in this country? I love doing
stuff about that. My job, blah, you really want
to talk about my shitty job. I hate my job. I really hate my job. I don't like waiting tables. I never have, I never will. And it's the only thing that
seems to be able to keep me in New York,
keep me in school. Allow me to afford
everything, you know. And it sucks. So what do you think
about the weekend so far? Uh, it'll get better. Oh, yeah you were
sick yesterday. I felt so bad. The roads were pretty bad. And then the winding roads? That probably
didn't help at all. It was terrible. It was so bad. That constant flash before
you have to throw up is... Yeah, I felt pretty
bad, and then uh, the van. That was kinda weird. No, I don't want to get wet,
I don't want to get dirty, I don't want to get cold... No, it should be fun though. We have snowsuits
and stuff, whatever. I can't move in
those things. Ha, Ha. Get the one piece suit
like in A Christmas Story. Well alright, thanks
for the interview. I'm gonna go see what
Mark and Cassy are doing. Hmm. O.K. Wakey, wakey,
eggs and bakey! Time to go. Hey pretty lady,
wanna go cave exploring? C'mon baby, I'm so sorry
about before and I promise you, we're gonna
have such a good time. And you know I love you. Please, please please. And what about Miriam? What about me? It's her birthday. You know you wanna have
a good time for Miriam. Please, I'm so sorry. Don't read your
book all day. OK, let's go get Tanya. Tanya!!! You coming? Please? She's pretty convincing. Hello, hello? You ever play
steam-roller Tanya? Steam-roller... No! Steam-roller! C'mon, time to go. NO! C'mon, I heard that there's
these Indian murals and paintings in the caves. I really don't care. You're gonna
want to see them. They're for your artwork. And everything that
you love to do, please? I don't care Mark. Pretty please. I don't care. Do it for the
Indians, please? No. Do it for Miriam? No. It's her birthday. I love you, but no. I love you. I don't want you to be
here by yourself all day. Because it's cold out Mark. It's not that cold out. It's about 50
degrees outside. It looks cold out
there, but it's not. We're gonna have fun. No we're not. What are you
gonna do out here? I'm gonna be comfy. Look at this bed. This bed is so nice. You know what's gonna
be even more comfy? After you're out in the cold
for a little bit, having a good time, then you can
come and crash inside. I don't want to be cold. I never want to be cold. Please? We're going. I'm making you go. I'm not going. That's it, you're going. Mark... I swear to God... She's going, I'll
drag her the whole way. Aw, don't you feel
bad for them Leo? No! This is what comes when you
try to push your girlfriend in the snow, and
she's stronger than you. How do you feel
about that Mark? That almost makes
this worth it, actually. Do that a couple more times
Mark, and we might be even. Come here love of my life. What? What is that? Well there's a
shot for you Leo. Oh, that's
pretty disgusting. Why would we go that way if
we came from the other way? That's the way we came. That's not the way we came. That's the way we came. I promise you that we
basically went in a generally
straight direction. So if we go back
the way we came. I don't remember a
straight direction. We basically went in a
generally straight direction? Can you please knock the
pride act off, and just admit that we're lost. I'm not being
proud right now. I'm just saying
that we... Why would I
want us to be more in the
woods than we are? OK, now this is the way
we went, so let's just go. Well we went the way you
guys suggested, not the way I wanted to go. I said we should go the
other way, you guys wanted to go back along the path
of the waterfall right? Well, oh, let's take this
unknown unmarked way that Mark suggests, or take
the path that we've already taken and know that leads
to a certain direction. That's not what we did. He's YOUR boyfriend. So it's MY fault now? No, I'm just
saying talk to him. Did you try your
cell phone? Well if there's no service
in the house, why would there be
service in the woods? I don't know. Maybe...it's
worth a shot, right? What about your
walkie-talkie? There's no one to
talk to on the channel. We can try
some channels? Does anybody see
anything around that... I don't see a
God-Damned thing! OK, calm down for one second
and let me ask a question. Do you see anything that you
might have noticed earlier, anybody? Trees? Would you knock off the
act Tanya, I'm over it. I'm over this too. Yeah, so is everybody,
join the fucking club! Look around, maybe you
saw something weird, just look around. There was that deer thing. Wait, where's Miriam? Well, we can't just keep... Cassy, are you OK? Careful guys, OK? Did you just
say careful guys? Did you honestly
just say careful guys? What is your problem? Look, I didn't even
want to get out here. No one forced you to come. No, you convinced me. All you've done all weekend
is bitch and moan and... You convinced me that
everything would be ok and we are now lost. criticize me for nothing. For nothing? Look where we are? You're leading us. You can't put
all of this on me. The entire trip
you've blamed this on me. For your own
little insecurities. Now let's just keep going! But going where? What insecurities
Mark, please enlighten me. Guys, guys, guys,
please knock it off. Time out. Shh, Shh! What was that? Shine your light over there. Did you hear that? Yeah, did you? Let's just keep
going this way. It's probably just a
bird or something. Wait, Wait! It was just an animal. It was just a bird. Did you hear something? That's a pretty big bird. Let's go. Aren't there supposed to be
bears out in these woods? God, don't do that. Don't do that! Please don't say that OK? I'm just saying we should
think about the reality of the situation if
there's bears out here. I'd prefer not to. Shh, Shh!!! Oh shit, you guys! Shh! What the fuck kind of
animal makes that noise? What the fuck is that? You guys, c'mon. I don't see anything. There's animal
tracks everywhere. They're all
fucking animal tracks. Fuck, fuck, fuck me! Do you see anything? Oh god. That scared the shit out
of me Tanya, knock it off. Yeah, but it's far away. It's some
animal in the woods. It's not a big deal. What kind of animal do
you know that makes that kind of sound? A bird, I don't know. It's still there. That's a bird. That's not a
fucking bird Tanya! NO shit, it's not a bird! Mark, is your
walkie-talkie on? No, you won't get
any channels out here. Well, what is that then? I don't know. Just static. Anybody? Did you hear that? What was that? What WAS that? What was that? Holy shit! Run! Guys, stop!!! Guys stop!!! Stop, don't run. God dammit, stop! Oh shut up Mark, let's go! Shit, we lost
them, we lost them. Guys C'mon! What WAS that? What are you guys doing? Stop running. Let's go, let's
go, let's go. Stop running, God Dammit, it
was just a fucking branch. You hear that? What? Is that water? Why are you laughing? You son-of-a-bitch,
are you laughing? It's the waterfall. Wait, the waterfall is
near the house, isn't it? Yeah, we can't be far. We just keep going
this way and around. Oh, thank God. It's getting louder. Oh, I never heard anything
that good in my life. Wait, what's that light. Oh my God, Oh my God! I think we just take
these footsteps this way. Miriam, it's your birthday. Happy Birthday. Happy Birthday! Thank God. We made it. Yes! Oh, you're such a jackass. I can't believe you
recorded us the whole time... You're crazy. Oh, my God, my
hands are freezing. Let me just take a
moment to adore this. This is a
beautiful wonderful... Where did Aunt
Gail get this? She really likes
Halloween, I don't know. Don't ask me. What are we
having for dinner? I believe pasta
if that's cool. And who's cooking it. I'm not cooking. I can't cook. C'mon! And you don't
want me to cook. I'm hungry! Oh, no. You look like my mom. You're mom, I
look like Shirley? Leo, Leo let's talk about
this trip you're going on with your friends? OK? Sit down, sit down, alright. Leo, are there
gonna be girls on this trip? Yeah mom. Answer me! Mom, they're gonna be
in separate bedrooms. Leo, did you pack
some condoms honey? Did ya? I'm serious right now! Did ya? I don't trust
those WHOO-ERS. I don't trust those
sluts, but I trust my baby! Does anyone else
want to try it on? I think you should go for it
Tanya, I don't think my hair can fit in that thing. You don't want to try it on? How'd you finish
your food that fast? I was freakin' hungry. [Phone ringing] I'm not gonna
answer my Aunt's phone. You think I should? I don't know. Hello? They hung up. Mark, did you forget to call
your mother this weekend? I did, she's very
overprotective. You love my
mother, don't make fun. I love your mother! Oh! I love YOUR mother too Leo. [Phone ringing] I LOVE your mother. Hello? Hello? Again, no one. So, I'd like to make a toast
if I may, to forgiveness, to birthdays and
friendship and a great time. Cheers! [Knocking] That's weird. There's no car here. Who's there? Is that any
neighbors or anything? You'd have to have
a car to get here. It's miles from anyone. Who's there? Who's there? You see anybody? There's no one there. What? Don't open the door! What is that? What is it? What the hell. You wanna play it? Let's just play it. You guys didn't
see anything? Not one car? Wait a second. That's my car. That's us. That's the guy in
that fucking van. Remember the van? No! It has to be. That means he
followed us up here. He followed us up here. Oh my God. Oh my God. That's the house. He's been here the
whole fucking time. He's been here the whole
fucking time watching us. What do we do Mark,
what are we gonna do? I don't want to
watch this anymore. Turn it off. Cassy, Cassy. Look! He was in the fucking house? How did that happen? He was in the fucking house! Oh Shit! Yo that's fucking me. What the fuck! No! Fuck that! Let's go. Everybody's going right now. Everyone let's go right now. Get your
jackets and let's go. The phone's ringing. I'm not
answering the phone. Answer the phone. It stopped. I don't care about
the phone right now. Let's go. Well fucking call the
cops or something then. Let's call the cops. Oh fuck, it's
that psycho calling. Answer it! Call the fucking police! Hello? Hello? Mark call the police. There's no dial tone. What? It was just ringing. He cut the phone line. What do you mean he
cut the phone line? What do you mean? We're going right now! Let's go! Stay with me, stay with me. What? No! No! Where is the car? Where IS the car? Are you kidding me? Where is it? Everybody get
back in the house. Shit, go go! Go, go! Mark, c'mon. Are you fucking stupid? Get in the house right now. Get in the house yourself. Shut up! Get in the house Mark, are you
fucking out of your mind? Get in! Get your cell phones. Try and get reception. Just try and get a signal. Anyone have anything? Tanya? Nothing. Everyone just stay together. He's in the house. Leo come with
me, come with me. Try and get a signal. Tanya, try and get a signal. Cassy, try and get a signal. Wait, don't
leave, don't leave. I need you to put it
together right now! Just turn it on. Where should I go? I can't make all the
cell phones dial, please girls keep trying! I'm trying!!! Oh my God, I have a signal. Call 911! Please... Oh my God. Please, help us I have an
emergency, there's someone trying to get us please. Please come help us please. Hello? Hello!!! What happened? I lost the call. Try it again,
just try it again. I can't get it. I can't. What are we gonna do? Mark where are you going? Mark, please don't do this. Please don't do this, just
stay with us, we'll stay over here. Where's the other one? Mark!!! Cassy!!! Mark, no. Uh, shit run, run! Oh my God, oh my God! Get upstairs! Shut the door!!! I'm not leaving! We need to get out
and go get help. I can't leave. We need to get downstairs. No, we need to stay here. We need to get
downstairs Miriam. We have to go. I can't. What are we gonna do? Miriam, we have
to go downstairs. Look out the window. Shh, he's leaving. Shh, Shh, turn
the flashlight off. You think he sees us? We need to get out of here. He's leaving. Ok, OK. OK, we're going downstairs. OK. Tanya, take the camera. I'm not taking the camera. If he comes back just try
to catch him on tape, OK? Why do we need the
camera, I'm not recording. Tanya, please. Just take the camera
and keep recording. No!!! Tanya, please, I gotta figure
out how to get outta here. Please just take the camera,
I need to figure this out. Tanya, we gotta go now. Just take the camera. Let's go now. We're going downstairs. Careful. C'mon let's go. C'mon let's go. Be quiet. Why is it so cold in here? No, we can't go
out that way. Oh shit, RUN!!! [Screaming] Somebody please! Help me! [Screaming] [Screaming] [Screaming] [Video chatter] [Video chatter] [Static] Surprise! [Laughter] Yeah! [Laughter]