Exit to Eden (1994) Movie Script
Oh! How'd that happen?
- Mon Dieu, Elliot!
What did you do?
Look at the mess you've made!
I didn't knock it over!
- It happened just like magic?
Don't be a pain.
- I'm going to tell.
I didn't spill it.
Naughty boy.
- Leave me alone! I'm accident-prone.
Behave yourself.
- Let go! Stop it!
I'm telling your mama and papa.
You are very naughty.
Stop it.
How many times have I told you
not to come in the kitchen?
How many times have I told you?
One million times!
Testing. Lets begin.
Hello, Elliot. I've known you for a long
time, always considered you a friend...
...and I admire your work.
Thank you, Martin.
I always have trouble saying your name,
because Australians have difficulty...
...with the American R.
It would be easier if your name was Bob.
This is a serious interview.
- I'm sorry.
I'm just a little anxious.
You've achieved a great deal of success
in your creative and artistic field.
You've traveled a great deal.
You have influential friends. You've dated
a bevy of bright and beautiful women.
Yet you've never had a lasting relationship.
I never seem to get it right.
I'm a simple girl. I don't need
to do all these far-out things...
...with somebody who's never around.
Does this mean were not
gonna have breakfast? Thank you.
Get out!
You came close to getting married once,
quite close.
Yeah, Kathleen.
It started out all right. Sunny day, lovely
flowers, nice crowd. Everyone was there.
Except the bride.
That was a difficult day.
That's when you called me
about the island?
Yeah, I was hoping you could help me.
- If you're selected, when can you leave?
I have an assignment in South America
for a month, and then I'm free.
Why do you think your relationships
do not work out?
I'm not always honest with myself
about what I want.
We'll be landing at Los Angeles
International Airport momentarily...
...where the local time is 4:05 a.m.
We've enjoyed serving you on Flight 241,
and if your future travel plans...
...take you to South America, we hope
you will once again choose Aero Brazil.
US citizens, over here. Aliens, over there.
This way, please.
Hey, Tony.
- Hi, Susan. See you.
Next, please.
Excuse me, sir,
could you hold my baby, please?
Sir, could you help me and hold my baby?
Thank you very much.
Thank you. Next?
Hello, Aidan, this is Dr. Rubino.
Whats the emergency?
Hi, mom. Yeah, I'm safe. We just landed.
I'm exhausted.
Mom, its 4:00 in the morning.
I really gotta go. Bye.
Don't you hate getting in this late?
My eyes get so dry when I fly.
Hold it. You're the guy with the turban!
Okay, Martin, thank you.
Passenger Joel Stearns, please pick up
the nearest white courtesy phone.
Passengers arriving
on Aero Brazil Flight 241...
...may claim their baggage at Carousel 2.
Are you crazy?
Taking a picture of me blowing my nose?
Would you stop it?
Okay. I'm a professional.
Call me, well do a sitting sometime.
Yeah.
Your bags moving.
Want me to get that? III get it for you.
No, leave it alone. Leave it.
Excuse me, sir.
Going to unload your own luggage?
This lady accidentally lost her bag.
I wasn't watching where I put my bag.
Its all right. It will come around.
Here it is.
Sorry to cause you so much trouble.
We cant be responsible for your head
if you stick it in the baggage hole.
Ill remember that.
Look, I don't know
if something was going down or not.
Please open all of your bags.
They may just be smuggling
a bottle of vodka for all I know.
I got photos of both of them.
I need some stuff on this roll,
but if you wanna see them, here's my card.
We have to do a full check on everybody.
Ill remember that.
- Nice job.
You stay out of trouble.
Smuggling.
Hello, my little friends.
The white zone is for the immediate
loading and unloading of passengers only.
No parking.
Did you have any trouble in there?
Absolutely not. I'm a professional.
Yes, a professional.
Good morning,
and welcome to LA's premier XXX club...
...The Feather.
When the sun comes up,
the bras come down.
It is dark and time for our sunrise special.
Cock-a-doodle-doo!
Give it up.
Look what I got!
Now.
We think you'll find this will help
Mr. Walker breathe a lot better.
Wait here.
- All right.
Mr. Walker, everything checks out fine.
- Good.
LAPD!
Freeze!
Is this a raid?
- I'm 21, I swear.
Get out of the way.
- All of you.
Get down!
- Come here!
On the floor!
- Watch it, buddy.
Get with the program!
The floor! On the floor!
You! Get with the program!
Out of my way! Kill them!
Spread em. You've never been
in trouble with the police before?
I haven't. I'm clean.
- Yeah, you're clean. Miranda.
If you would do the honors,
Detective Kingston.
My pleasure.
Where are you going? Sit down!
You are sitting down!
You sit down, unless you're crawling.
Fred, my feet are killing me in these shoes.
Welcome to King Solomons mine.
God, I'm good.
Get down!
Check, please.
Ill go!
Hi. I'm Sheila Kingston, and I'm a cop.
Thought I was a supermodel?
Don't feel bad.
Everyone makes that mistake.
Damn it, they got away. I hate that.
That's my partner, Detective Fred Lavery.
June 13, that's the date.
It was the beginning
of the wildest case of my career.
Let me tell you,
my love life has never been the same.
And your love life may never be
the same either.
Here we go. Case No. 11725.
The FBI and the US Customs Bureau
had been trying to break...
...a South American diamond-smuggling
ring for about two years without success.
That's where we came in.
And our backup finally arrived. Late.
Must have been a line at Dunkin' Donuts.
We got the diamonds.
The bad guys got away.
All we knew, one of them had a bad cold.
You missed Walker. How could you miss
a man in a wheelchair?
Things didn't go that well
at the airport either.
Really?
- A man took your picture.
Took my picture?
...it's a detour, and people act out...
Ill be two minutes, pal.
...early childhood humiliations
in order to get rid of them.
It's been estimated that about a third of all
couples have tried spanking each other.
About a third have tried
tying each other up.
The woman in the pain profession,
the dominatrix...
...considers it an ideal profession.
She can sleep in late.
She can wear interesting clothes.
She can push men around.
And with her whips and handcuffs...
...she actually makes
more money per hour than I do.
And she can also charge it
on Visa or MasterCard. It's sometimes--
Here we are.
That's him.
Looks like hes taking another trip.
- Yeah, with his camera.
Shall I grab him?
Not yet. It doesn't mean that
the damn film is in the camera.
All right. You go search the house.
I'm gonna follow the cab. Go!
Here you go.
- Thanks.
An hour later, Elliot Slater boarded a ship
at Los Angeles Harbor, Pier 56.
We assumed he was going
on another photo assignment. He wasn't.
He didn't know what was ahead of him
or who was behind him.
Whoa, Doctor. No more blood samples.
No, I came to tell you
that you passed your physical.
You are HIV-negative
and all your body parts...
...that should be working, work.
That's great, but you didn't try them all.
I did forget one.
I always save that for last.
Drop your pants.
I don't even know your first name.
- Doctor.
Turn your head and cough. Again.
I cant believe I'm doing this.
I bet you've been doing this
since you were 13.
No, I mean being here on this ship.
Follow the rules, and you'll do fine.
From here on out, we only ask one thing.
What?
Wed like you to refrain from
any private sexual stimulations.
We want you to perform up to
your own expectations once you arrive.
Just finishing a roll.
Good luck.
Are you positive?
- I think so.
Think so is not positive.
- I'm pretty sure.
Pretty sure is not positive.
We need positive.
Does this help?
- Yes. That's her. She went for my throat.
I'm positive.
- Thank you, Susan.
You can now go back to work.
In the event of a water landing,
there are six exits on this plane.
I could've been a stewardess.
Lets put this on the wire,
Nina and all her aliases.
I'm not gonna put an APB out on a person
with magic marker on her face.
Its a red dot.
In my office.
- Yes, sir.
I got an ID on Nina.
- I got the same from the airport security.
He said she was a beauty queen.
- Shes a psychotic who kills people...
...and injures the handicapped.
- Handicapped criminals.
Folks, please, I'm late for a meeting,
if you don't mind. Come on.
So Walker talked.
Said that Nina was partners with Omar.
What do you got on Omar, Mr. Filofax?
- Okay, at your service.
Omar, precious gem smugglers
pinup boy.
Wanted for murdering two
Hasidic diamond merchants in Rotterdam.
No known aliases or physical description.
No known photos.
Ill take Obscure Criminals for $500.
- Except there now is a photograph...
...but we are not in possession of it.
- Where does that leave us?
My deduction?
- Please.
We can assume that Nina told Omar
this photographer...
...took the only photos of Omar
in the modern world.
Omar is going to want to get his hands
on this photographer, Slater, pretty bad.
Lieutenant, if we can get to Slater
and his camera before they do...
...we can set a trap,
and they will walk right into our arms.
Works for me. Lieutenant?
God, I'm...
- Don't say it.
...good.
- He said it.
Okay, that's it. Fred's right.
That's your next assignment.
Did you trace Slater's ship?
- It wasn't easy.
But we know its going
to an island resort, a club.
Club Med?
- Well, its not your usual resort.
Its a place for SandM, B
MandM?
They have a Club Med for sex orgies?
Maybe this will help you out. Here's some
bondage magazines to study up on.
Tomorrow, you will be meeting with
Dr. Martin Halifax, the islands owner.
He will set you up to go undercover.
That's what we do.
- Yes, we do.
This is now over. Get out of my office.
I'm late for supper.
Thanks, boss.
- Good night, Lieutenant.
Lets go, Fred.
I ate four green ones. I don't feel anything.
Wait one hour.
This is just so gross.
Come on. Welcome to the 90s.
Its just an alternative lifestyle.
An alternative lifestyle.
Do you know what that is?
A phrase deviants use
to cover up their sex lives.
Maybe if you'd spiced up your sex life
a little, you wouldn't be divorced.
What? I spiced it up plenty.
Many a time, I let the wife get on top.
On top? It just boggles the mind.
I was joking.
- I figured.
Ill get the file on Nina. Do whatever.
Catch you later. I gotta get a bikini wax.
Stop telling me about that
disgusting female stuff.
No wonder you were never married.
- I have PMS, too. Do you know that?
Sometimes I bloat, weight gain,
temporary water buildup.
I hate to tell you this. I clot.
Heavy flow days.
Welcome. I'm Senior Trainer Richard.
Hi, Richard.
- There's no talking, Riba.
Dr. Williams will be around
to collect your release forms.
While shes doing that,
please take off your clothing.
You will spend one week at Eden.
Each of you has specifically chosen
to pay your entrance fee...
...and sign up as submissives at Eden,
some of you for fun...
...others of you to examine
your sexual and emotional lives.
And we, after careful screening,
have chosen you for one of three reasons:
Your curiosity, your desire to obey...
...or your capacity for arousal.
From now on, you will be
referred to as citizens of Eden.
And you will obey all of our commands.
Is that clear?
Yes.
- Good.
When you arrive at Eden,
all of your luggage will be taken...
...and stored on the island
for safekeeping until you leave.
At Eden, everybody wears a specific outfit.
Yours designates that you're citizens
or, if you will, submissives.
The trainers will hand out
your Eden attire...
...which you'll wear
during your stay on our island.
Excuse me, Doctor.
Is this the right boat
to the fantasy camp for golfers?
Golfers?
- Yes.
I'm supposed to play with Lee Trevino.
You come with me.
- Arnold Palmer and Chi Chi Rodriguez...
Also, alcohol and drugs are not permitted
on the island.
You'll love it here.
I've been here three times.
Riba, be quiet.
Please put on your Eden outfits,
and return to your room.
I guess that covers all the details
the department has to know, Dr. Halifax.
On June 15, Detective Lavery met with
the owner of the resort.
A Dr. Martin Halifax,
a guy who is very into ornithology.
Bird collecting. I had to look it up, too.
They met at his mansion in Malibu,
California. A very swanky place.
Detective Lavery? If there's nothing else...
Okay. Well, then, I guess I'm off
to your SandM fantasy island.
Where the little guy runs around yelling,
The pain! The pain!
You're not mocking my work, are you?
- No, sir.
In fact, how did you happen to start
this resort of yours?
I believe there's always been a need
for such a place.
There are many people with similar tastes but
with limited opportunities to discuss...
...or fulfill them.
I guess you're right, there.
All you got is your peeler bars...
...your sicko handcuff clubs,
weirdo newspaper ads...
But none offers an environment
safe from disease or violence.
In this era of fringe-group lunacy,
shouldn't we preserve freedom of choice...
...in the most intimate of all choices? Sex.
Everybody up on deck! This is Eden!
Mistress, the boats here.
Paddle!
Lets go! Okay, move it!
You okay?
Keep in time!
Keep your heads down!
Ladies and gentlemen,
the new citizens are arriving.
They beg for your examination.
I'm Trainer Kindra,
and I'm pleased to announce that today...
...we have a new group of citizens for
everyone's use and approval.
As you choose them, they also choose you.
All our pairings, whether married couples
or singles, are by mutual consent.
Our head trainer Richard
will introduce them.
But first, our headmistress of Eden,
Mistress Lisa.
I could carry you around like that, too.
All this ceremony and ritual
makes me so aroused.
Why are we in a tent?
Sometimes planes and helicopters fly
overhead and try to see what were doing.
What are we doing?
Quiet, Riba.
You will now meet
each candidate individually...
...and, as is custom here at Eden, they will
then pay homage to Mistress Lisa.
First, we have Lars from Sweden.
Oh, my God.
Julie. Atlanta, Georgia.
Dante. Anaheim, California.
Riba, from Fort Worth, Texas.
Jenny. Australia.
This isn't quite what I expected.
I gotta get out of here.
You cant. The boat already left.
Naomi, from Memphis, Tennessee.
Elliot, from Australia
and Los Angeles, California.
Lets go, Citizen Elliot.
- You go.
I'm not going up there.
- Yes, you are.
I'm not going up.
- Elliot Slater.
Take it off, baby.
Okay, that's enough. Here's your robe.
Lets go, Slater.
Thank you very much.
It feels like a sponge cake.
Quite a showoff, aren't you, Elliot?
Individuality is an admirable trait.
But not here. I think you need
a couple of days to realize...
...you're nobody special in Eden.
Turn around.
Put him on work detail. Take him away.
Heidi, from Fargo, North Dakota.
$3 million worth of stolen diamonds were
confiscated after a shootout...
...that left two suspects still at large.
Now that you've found us,
don't be a stranger.
You know, you're gonna be surprised
how much use you get out of that.
On June 16, suspects Nina and Omar
were seen at a specialized clothing store...
...on Sunset Blvd. Apparently, they found
out where Slater's ship was headed, too.
Fred and I arrived at the shop
minutes later.
Come on, Lucky.
Fred was his usual adventuresome self.
Let's face it.
A wild night for Fred
is a Doris Day film festival.
No blowup toys, no vibrators, no gels,
no creams, no cuffs, no tapes.
How about some clothes?
- No, actually.
I'm just here with him. Its his thing.
A lot of people feel nervous...
...about this
submissive-dominant thing at first.
But, you know, really,
the submissive person is always in control.
All you have to do
is give your partner a little control word.
Like yellow.
Yellow. Yellow! Fred!
Look! Bondage Man.
Its like Elvis Goes to Hell.
Ill be the guest.
- Ill be the maintenance man.
Lets get started.
Lots of men like to hear women talk dirty.
Lets hear someone talk dirty.
Any volunteers? How about you?
No, I couldn't.
- Come on. Just try.
That's why you're here.
Say something hot to your lover in bed.
All right.
Come on, put your thing in my thing.
Its a start.
One, two, three.
And finally, the experts predict,
to survive intimacy in the year 2000...
...women will learn to be more sexually
aggressive, and men, more romantic.
Our time is up. Thank you. Zara?
Thank you, Mistress Lisa.
Now, if you'd all come with me,
well go on to the next class.
That was a wonderful lecture.
- Do you have a book out? - No,
we like to keep it kind of private here.
I understand. Id better catch up. Bye.
There he is again.
- Yeah.
What do you think of her? Shes cool.
Elliot Slater.
Slater was intrigued by erotica
but was reticent to try it until now.
I think we can help him.
There he is.
Read the whole bio.
Born in Australia and grew up
in California's San Fernando Valley.
That must make for an interesting accent.
What the hell's he doing?
Hes an award-winning photojournalist
whose specialty is combat photography.
They say hes fearless.
Hes never been trained.
Fast-forward to the end of the interview.
But one more thing.
What?
- You didn't list your sexual fantasies.
You do have sexual fantasies?
Doesn't everybody?
Be honest. You're not comfortable
talking about them.
Not really.
That's why I want to go to the island.
Who else sees this tape?
Does everybody get interviewed like this?
Hes going to be work.
Ill train him myself.
When you get to the island,
find this Slater character...
...and stick to him like glue.
We don't want Slater to know
hes the bait.
No, he could panic.
If we tell him we need the film,
well know what Omar looks like.
Hes smart. I don't want to chance it.
If Omar even suspects that the police
are involved, he could disappear.
It wont be hard to spot Nina.
How many tall black women are there
in the world?
Hey, Sheila.
- Hey, Martha.
Dr. Halifax has sent your plane tickets.
When you get there...
What are you doing?
- Its wigs, Lieutenant.
For undercover on the island. In case
they recognize me from the strip club.
How? You were already in disguise
in your stripper cover.
I pointed that out to her, sir.
Debbie Gibson?
In a less-than-perfect world.
If you find Nina,
I only want you to observe her...
...because we could also use her
to get to Omar. I want Omar.
You got it.
Florence Henderson?
- No, Mrs. Brady on a binge.
Your itineraries are with your tickets.
Pay attention. Look at me.
I'm listening.
Watch your expense accounts.
You're cops, not politicians.
Good luck.
- Roger.
Last one, Fred. You call it.
Julio Iglesias, Sasquatch, road-kill...
Just do your New York thing.
All right.
While I was trying to cover
my stringy hair with wigs...
...Omar and Nina were charming
their way to the island.
So, that's the favor.
You owe me one, Priscilla.
But Dr. Halifax sends me
some of my best clients.
Mistress Priscilla,
I'm ready to be punished.
Look, I have to go to work.
Omar had 30 years
in the smuggling business...
...with no arrests
and no photos ever taken.
He wanted to retire with a clean slate.
He was obsessed with getting Slater's film.
Look.
You get me on that next guest list
that's going to that island.
I'm sorry about Mom.
Are you going to be okay, Dad?
- Hell, of course I am.
It just isn't fair.
- Of course its fair.
People die.
She was 52 years old.
It was her time.
Come on, get in the cab.
I'm sure the meters running.
Ill call you.
Bye, dad.
Mistress, hes waiting.
Is something wrong?
You haven't said a word to me all night.
I'm just thinking.
Thinking about your mother?
No, my father, actually.
At my mothers funeral, he didn't cry.
I've never seen him cry.
Eyes straight.
Lets talk about something prettier.
He is attractive.
Especially those eyes.
I wouldn't know, Mistress.
I cant see his eyes.
Come on, its cold.
Don't look.
Come here, I want to sit down.
Where?
- No talking.
No.
Very good, Pretty Eyes.
Now I'm going to let you feel
what you so very much wanted to see.
You want me to rock?
Bring him to my room tomorrow night.
June 17, we arrived on a privately-owned
island just off the coast of Mexico...
...called Eden.
I thought Id seen everything.
Well, I hadn't.
New guests,
please sign in at the hospitality tent.
Its all right. Our citizens will
take care of your luggage for you.
It'll be at your accommodations.
The citizens traveled by boat,
and the guests on chartered planes.
Both paid big bucks
for what I was doing free.
Hi, we didn't meet. I'm Bettiann,
and this is my husband Jeffrey.
Hi. Lucy Smith. How are you?
- Fine.
I'm a dental hygienist.
- Really?
Do you floss?
- Yes.
Step right through to the hospitality tent.
Because you have no tartar buildup.
- Tartar? Really?
This is gonna be fun, huh, Bettiann?
- Wonderful, beautiful.
Were in for a treat. I can feel it.
Bob Greenway.
Welcome, Master. I'm here to please you.
- Ill do anything to give you pleasure.
Wait! Hes just an employee.
Your transportation is over there, sir.
What can I do for you, Master?
- Carry my bag.
Thank you.
I'm here to serve you.
Use me any way you wish.
I'm here to make your body tingle.
- Is that so?
I believe that's my transportation.
Bob Greenway, air-conditioning mechanic.
Ou est ma reservation? Merde!
- Madame Randy, c'est pas dans Le registre.
Votre nom n'est pas ici.
- Madame Randy.
Mais, non. Attendez une seconde.
Voila, je I'ai trouve.
Idiote!
May I please you?
If you can handle it.
Can I just follow the... Okay, III just...
Last year, I was in a hotel in Miami
next to the elevator and the ice machine.
What a nightmare.
All night.
Meet you at the room.
- Fine.
Excuse me, am I near the ice machine?
- No, maam, we make it by hand.
I will not tolerate being near an--
- Would you please be careful?
Do I get the same person all the time,
or do they rotate?
Kitty is one of our best citizens.
She finished training early.
Okay, in.
There are no locks on the doors.
Nothing to hide here at Eden.
Hotel phones are room-to-room only.
Emergency calls can be made
from the office.
Ill be your personal citizen,
if it pleases you.
Thrilled.
I have a little specialty.
Specialty?
Look, I'm a new maintenance man.
I'm not a guest here.
So I don't have to do
the kinky stuff, right?
I'm a doctor, and everybody
on this island gets a physical.
I'm checking for hernias. Drop your shorts.
Turn your head and cough.
Cough.
Turn your head the other way. Cough.
That's a good boy.
Or should I say big boy?
I'm on the job here.
- Me, too.
I have to be at Mistress Lisas
in five minutes.
Shes having a little welcoming tea
for the new guests. Ladies only.
Well discuss intimate things.
- Lucky you.
You think that was Nina on the plane?
The tall, yellow outfit
shouting at everybody in French?
I don't think so. Too obvious.
Better keep your eye out
for any other possible Ninas.
Excuse me.
- I've got a list of chores. Oil sex chair.
Wait. I know you're new, but maintenance
people are not allowed to talk to guests.
I was just asking if there was a gift shop.
I need to get some tampons.
- Definitely.
Super-absorbency? With odor control?
- All that.
Perfect.
- Right this way.
Thank you.
Could you connect me with Mrs. Randy?
Elliot wasn't among the regular citizens.
He was nowhere to be found.
While Nina and Omar
were plotting to find him...
...I checked in to the coffee klatch.
Go on, Nancy.
So after 20 years,
he tells me what his sexual fantasies are.
I tell him what my sexual fantasies are.
It turns out that they're incredibly similar,
except that now its too late...
...because were in the middle of
a divorce. Such a waste of time...
...and good sex.
Again, you must discuss
your sexual fantasies with your partner.
Are you gonna eat that?
Any other questions?
- Yes, I have two.
First, do your parents know you do this?
They think that I work at a four-star resort.
Which this is, kind of.
Okay, and second, how do you decide
you wanna be a dominatrix?
What do you, wake up one day
and go, Hey, I feel like being bossy?
No...
I don't mean to pry.
You don't have to tell me.
No, its all right.
I remember once, there was this birthday
party in high school for the quarterback...
...and I volunteered to be the present.
He never talked to me again.
I just wanted everybody to like me.
I didn't even know the guy.
And there were a few others like him.
But that all changed
when I went to college.
What did you take, Spanking 101?
Well, it wasn't on the curriculum.
Its where I met this professor.
- And Mary Ann...
Gilligan's Island?
- My favorite show.
I'm sorry. Conversation interruptus.
Continuous, please.
No, it was an English professor.
You see, I went to this very small,
conservative school.
And when I was a graduate student,
I wrote a paper on Pride and Prejudice.
In conclusion, it is apparent that Elizabeth
exhibited the qualities of a submissive.
She completely gave herself to her man,
and in doing so...
...forgot her own emotional pain.
You're really busy. I should go.
Put down your books.
Now take off your sweater.
You took off your clothes in his office?
I could never do that.
Even at home, I take off my clothes in the
bathroom, then I jump into bed quickly.
Which is weird, because I live alone.
You see, I was a victim.
I would have done anything he asked.
And it wasn't about sex.
He never touched me.
He seemed to understand
what I was going through.
And he arranged for me
to meet a friend of his...
...who specialized in erotica.
So a large, black limousine
picked me up at school...
...and took me to a beautiful mansion
with a gigantic iron gate.
I was given a note that said,
"Go into the living room...
"...take off your clothes,
put on the blindfold, and wait for me."
Hello, my beauty.
Which one would you like?
I need to hear what your fantasy is.
I'm here to create an illusion for you,
only the illusion.
I am a top, a master.
You are a bottom, a submissive.
Yet, were not different.
Were in unison to please each other.
Just tell me your wishes.
And welcome to my world.
I didn't know such a world existed.
Its a world in which
you have all the choices.
Can I choose to be master?
The best submissives usually become
the best masters.
You're a victim in life. I will teach you
to always be in total control.
You will never be a victim again, ever.
Never.
Ever.
I liked being in control. It felt safe.
But isn't there a happy medium?
Like, I tie you up one night,
you tie me up the next night?
Of course, it would be nice
not to be in control and still feel safe.
Have you ever?
Anyway, Diana.
I look forward to seeing you all
during your visit.
My favorite Gilligan episode?
Kurt Russell as the monkey boy.
He was cute, even then.
- I love that one! Do you remember that?
Kurt Russell was on the island.
No one knew he was there.
Follow me,
III lead you to our fantasy emporium...
...where you can choose
one of our fantasies.
That sounds fun.
I had a fantasy about Skipper once.
Remember Skipper?
He was chubby, but he was cute.
And we can also arrange for this fantasy
called Love With a Stranger.
Or Having Sex With a Mysterious Lover.
A popular fantasy,
especially among women.
No commitment.
No wishing the guy calls the next day.
No shame or guilt. It wasn't your fault.
You were seduced.
And you didn't even know his name.
Now, if you'll follow me.
And this is another of Edens fantasies.
Enjoying the pleasure of total
submissiveness to voice dominance.
And being titillated by command
is nothing to be ashamed of.
Here we show the secretary
dominating the boss...
...as one of the most common
command fantasies.
Mr. Vanderway, what do you want?
It's my lunch hour.
Do these documents over again in italics.
And give me that letter immediately.
- No.
What?
Come crawl over here for it.
- Crawl?
Mr. Vanderway, I want you to get down
on your hands and knees...
...and crawl for my letter.
Yes, Miss Perkins.
Good boss.
As Mr. Vanderway obeys, they both
examine the shadows of safe, sane...
...and submissive sexuality.
Our next fantasy is popular
with both sexes.
Sex in Public.
The excitement of getting caught.
How many floors does it take
you to make love?
In what position do you make love
in an elevator?
Lets see.
It seems our Sex in Public fantasy
is out of order.
Now, if you'll follow me,
well see enactments of the Roman bath.
I do it all the time. Its a real kick.
Trust me.
Roman baths.
- I once had a terrible toothache in Rome.
Can you tell me
where I can find Citizen Elliot?
Were not supposed to talk about...
I didn't know it at the time, but Omar was
actually on my Fantasy Emporium tour.
If she didn't stop asking me
about her teeth...
...I was gonna have to kill her.
No sign of Elliot, but two possible Ninas.
How are you doing?
All right. This island is way over the top.
Man, what a bunch of oddballs.
Will you lighten up? They're just
expressing what most people suppress.
On account of it should be suppressed.
- Why? They're not hurting anybody.
Look, there are some things in life
that are just better left undone.
Why cant these people think about it...
...instead of talking and acting out,
for heavens sake.
It probably gets them past
the game-playing?
There was a very interesting scene
over there.
There was a business man,
this secretary came in--
What are you saying?
You're being sucked in--
Excuse me.
- Yes.
Everyone's got to keep up with the group.
- I'm so sorry.
I think the maintenance man has
a little crush on me.
Lt. Malone had said
to look for strange behavior.
Well, here, it was hard to tell.
The rest of the day, I looked for Omar.
Omar looked for Elliot.
My "God, I'm good" partner, Fred,
concluded that the obvious Mrs. Randy...
...was, in fact, Nina.
He watched her,
hoping shed lead us to Omar.
We came up empty,
because Elliot was on the other side...
...of the island doing work detail.
So I decided to treat myself to a massage.
Tommy. Lower.
Lower?
- In fact, no, higher.
What the hell? Any way you like.
Mistress Lisa actually ran a nice place.
She designed all the clothes herself.
Her idea was to create these outfits
that were...
...as far away from reality as possible.
Our first day on the island,
and we made no progress.
Fred took the night shift
and almost got electrocuted.
As for me,
I went to bed quietly with a book.
Hey! No panting after 2:00 a.m.!
Turned out to be a busy night
around the island.
Mistress Lisa's lights were on pretty late.
Stand here and face the fireplace.
Wait.
Don't be so nosy.
Come in here.
Take off that robe.
Bathe me.
I wanna know you.
I don't even know your last name.
Tell me.
You have to go along with the illusion,
or else it doesn't work.
Now bathe me.
You know how some men
like women's legs?
Some like big breasts.
Some like long hair.
You know what I like?
I like butts.
Men's beautiful behinds.
You know what I like to do
to gorgeous butts?
I like to squeeze them, pinch them...
...and caress them.
You know what else I love?
I like to rub my bare breasts...
...down your back...
...and over your butt.
You like that, don't you?
You know what I like the best?
What I like best is...
You like that, don't you?
- No.
Oh, yes.
You are going to be punished
with pleasure.
I've heard you're fearless...
...that nothing scares you.
Please, don't blindfold me.
I'm covering your eyes, so you can
concentrate on what you're feeling.
You like that.
Tell me you like that.
- No.
You like that?
Being punished by a woman?
No.
I think you like it.
- No.
I give you permission to like it. Tell me.
No. I don't like it.
You like that?
Do you want me to stop?
- No.
Do you like it?
Tell me, or III stop.
Tell me.
Yes.
Louder. I cant hear you.
- I cant.
Why?
- I don't know.
Are you ashamed of it?
- Yes.
Its all right, Elliot. You can say it.
You can like it.
You're allowed here. Do you like it?
Tell me. Do you like it?
Yes.
I do like it.
That's it.
Let it go.
Good.
Its okay, baby.
Let it out.
Can I stay here tonight?
Yes.
On the floor, Citizen Elliot.
Would you like a pillow?
- No, thank you.
Good night.
Lisa...
Good night.
Lucy. Sorry.
Tommy. I cant believe
they don't have locks on this door.
What are you doing here?
I saw you with that mask, and I thought
you wanted to play bandit girl.
No.
- Come on.
Ill let you capture me.
- No, actually, this is a sleeping mask.
See those tiki torches out there?
I felt like I was on an airport runway.
Are there any other fun games
you might wanna play?
Sleeping. Sleeping's fun for me.
I'm gonna get back to it right now, in fact.
I'm gonna dream about fantasies that
maybe we can do some other time, okay?
All right.
Lucy?
- Yes?
I could sleep on the floor by you
and wake you up in the morning.
I don't really need a human alarm clock.
I could use a human door lock.
Why don't you go lay in front of the door,
and you can play guard boy?
Guard boy. I can do that.
- You like that?
All right, Tommy. Go ahead. Run along.
You got it.
- See you in the morning.
Ill be stepping over you. Okay.
Bye.
- Good to see you.
Thanks for stopping in.
This pleasure island
is starting to get to me.
Its affecting my work now.
Like today, I mean, I went berserk.
Nobody seemed to care.
Their sex sensors are numb.
Well, the flesh is weak.
And I think about other things
to distract myself.
Small-engine repair.
Elliot, I was just dreaming.
What are you doing?
Allow me to please you.
You don't have to do anything.
Just let me please you.
Elliot.
Yes.
What are you doing?
- I'm kissing you. Do you mind?
You know, its like, you see the flesh
all the time, the nakedness.
But is the anticipation more exciting,
or the actual naked flesh itself?
Trying to sort it all out.
A little confused.
I don't care. I'm reading the last page.
Lisa Emerson.
Why did I tell him my name?
Our second day on the island
was Sports Day.
Faster, come on.
Peanuts. Fresh peanuts over here.
The roller race is open to guests,
trainers and citizens.
The victor will win a private audience
with Mistress Lisa.
Exhibition tennis is available
on the upper level.
We hope you all participate in Sports Day.
All right, Lucy. Show em what you got.
- Come on, serve it.
That's the man. I got it.
Erotic art here. Art through the ages.
Ben Wah balls!
What are they used for?
- Can I buy that?
Marital aids, marital aids,
come vibrate with me.
Wanna punish me for those two points?
No, I think Id like to go down
to the beach now.
Hey, how are you doing?
- All right.
Kicked ass in volleyball.
- I knew you had it in you.
Its tough to spike in curtains.
My mother had that pattern
in her living room.
Have you seen Slater around?
- No.
We gotta solve this case soon,
because hanging around here...
...I am so horny. You ever get horny?
In high school.
I am getting so aroused.
- Spare me.
Is this really where were all headed?
Some, yes. Some of us, no.
You're a hit.
- What?
Everyone's talking about you.
They want you in the ring toss.
What?
- Something about your physical. Big boy?
Get out of here.
- I'm getting aggressive.
I'm requesting Citizen Elliot to my room.
I'm on the job. Ill see you later.
- Ill be weeding.
Fix that gong. I'm sick of seeing
broken gongs all over this island.
Citizen Julie,
report to the sticky-buns booth.
That's me. Excuse me. On my way.
Big boy, huh?
End of the line, maam.
Id heard from my slave man, Tommy,
that the people in work detail...
...were being let off
to participate in Sports Day.
I thought there was finally a chance
to request Slater.
Come in.
This is Citizen Elliot, as you requested.
- Thank you.
Hi.
- Hello.
Lucy.
What would you like to do?
Perhaps a massage?
This is my first time. I was hoping
maybe we could talk first.
Do you think we could do this after lunch?
Whats the matter,
cant talk on an empty stomach?
No, its not that.
- Its my hair, isn't it?
What?
- Its my hair. You can say.
I can see it. Its limp. Its stringy.
Its not hanging right.
No, not at all. You're very nice, Lucy.
Its just, well, the race is about to start.
Oh, that rollerblading thing.
Yes, I hear the announcements.
Lucky me.
I get the room right next to the gong.
I wanted to enter that race.
Oh, really? Did you hear first prize?
You get to spend time with Mistress Lisa.
Yeah, I want that privilege.
You got a crush?
- We just got to know each other a little.
You have a big crush.
It sounds pretty corny.
- What?
Just relax, breathe, pretend I'm Oprah.
Come on, you can tell me.
Okay.
Have you ever been with somebody
that actually made violin music...
...play in your head?
Skinny girls hear violins.
Not-so-skinny girls hear French horns.
I know what you mean.
Did you tell her?
- I wish I could.
That's the problem, I cant.
I don't know how.
I cant get close to her.
She wont talk to me.
That's tough. You know, scary.
You tell someone,
you don't know what they'll say.
Once a year, I go to the Grand Canyon.
I scream, I like you, just so
I can hear back, I like you, I like you.
Attention skaters.
Last call for the Rollerblade race.
Go on, get out of here.
I promise III come back.
- All right.
Here, hold this.
Hey, Elliot?
- Yeah?
I hear you're a photographer.
- Yeah.
Think you can take some pictures for me?
No, they took my camera away from me
and stuck it in storage with my other stuff.
I don't know where it is.
Really? Has anyone else requested you?
- No, I've been on work detail.
Just curious. Go ahead. You're late.
Thank you.
- Hey, Elliot?
Be careful out there.
- Your hair is just fine.
You think?
A guy takes off his pants
to leave my room.
Skaters, take your places.
On your marks.
Get set.
- Wait!
And they're off.
What the hell was that?
- Hey, wait! You forgot your number!
The race turned out to be
the turning point in the investigation.
Go, Elliot!
Slater was out there
for all the world to see, including Omar.
Come on!
Fred was supposed to cover the event,
but he had to feed the fish.
If you ask me, they feed those fish
too much. Those are chubby koi.
Elliot was no Olympic skater,
but he gave it his all.
Yes!
He won.
The winner is Citizen...
- Citizen Elliot.
Citizen Elliot. His number
must have been torn off from passion.
Here's your number.
Its my lucky number.
Riba, I'm sorry.
- Its okay.
Are you ready for us?
Do you wanna do a threesome?
Well, not really.
Watching you two will be such a joy.
My names Tillington, from Guilford.
Congratulations on the race.
You were very good.
Thank you.
Mistress Lisa...
After the race, Omar made his move.
And lucky for us, so did Mistress Lisa.
I think it would be a good idea.
- Good.
I'm sorry. I cant allow this.
We don't permit voyeurism.
But that's my fantasy.
Citizen Elliot hasn't completed his training.
Send him to his quarters.
- I don't mind if he hasn't finished.
Now, Richard.
- Citizens quarters.
Lets go, Citizen Elliot.
- I'm sorry, Mr...
Tillington, from Guilford.
- From Guilford, that's right.
I'm sure Kitty can find many ways
to please you.
Yeah, lets go get Citizen Joy.
Shes really pretty, and shes got peanuts.
I don't want peanuts.
Do you have a problem with that, Richard?
- No, Mistress.
If I may...
You may not.
Since when don't we permit voyeurism?
Since Mistress Lisa started to get soft
on a citizen.
We should give Elliot to a harsher guest.
Come in.
I'm sorry. Were not going to be able to
grant your request.
Elliot Slater is with another guest.
With who?
- Mrs. Randy.
Sorry. Maybe tomorrow.
Come in.
Mrs. Randy,
Citizen Elliot is here for your pleasure.
I guess I'm your fantasy.
Quiet. Down on your knees.
Kiss my thigh.
Come on.
God, you're so boring.
Cant you do anything right?
Now, turn around.
Were going to play a game,
a question game.
And the question game has
only one question.
Where is the camera?
- Hello?
Is Elliot Slater...
What are you doing with him?
Anything I like. Do you mind?
- As a matter of fact, I do.
You see, I have a 2:30 appointment
with him. Hes mine.
I got all dressed up in this outfit--
- Spare me the details.
Get out of my room.
Do you have a confirmation?
A confirmation?
- Yes, a confirmation.
No, I wasn't given one.
Well, guess what? I was.
Your loss. Get with the program.
You, with me, now.
Get up. Take off the robe.
I like that thong thing. Walk tall.
Tell me I look gorgeous from behind.
You blew it again,
and this time you weren't even sneezing.
You could have helped.
- No, you do the killing, I do the thinking.
Now what?
You stay here, and you wait.
I know that New York girl.
I know that sound.
Whats going on?
- Listen, I'm not a dental hygienist.
My name is not Lucy Smith.
I did not come to this island to have fun.
I came to this island for one reason.
Elliot.
- Yeah?
You are to go on work detail now.
- No. Hey!
Mistress Lisa's orders
supersede everything.
Andre will be happy
to find you a replacement.
Well, I don't want a replacement!
I would like Elliot!
Hey, Skin and Bones! You, Toothpick Girl!
How can I fulfill your fantasy?
Go paint my house.
This fruit plate will be better for you.
- Thanks.
Now, that's an outfit to crawl for.
May I do my specialty?
No, I don't feel like having my toes
sucked right now.
You sure?
- Yes, I am.
Listen--
- May I feed you?
No, you can answer
a question for me, though.
If I wanted to find out where
Citizen Elliot was, how would I go about it?
Are you gonna replace me?
No, never.
Then, why?
I just need to talk to him.
Can you go get him for me?
Right away.
- Yes, thank you.
You know, its a lot quicker if you walk.
Look at this, he took out the seeds.
Mistress!
Here are his bags.
Tommy brought them from storage.
- Look at the way he packs.
Hes changing his clothes. He thinks this is
his special meeting for winning the race.
I made a fool of myself at that race...
...hopping off my horse
like some jealous birdbrain.
Why didn't you stop me?
- I'm only a citizen.
I've trained hundreds of men and women.
I've created fantasies for them.
I've gotten them in touch with
their deepest feelings.
How come this photographers
gotten to me?
I'm only a citizen.
- Will you stop saying that?
You've watched me train, you're smart,
you're going to be a trainer yourself.
So tell me, what do you think?
Maybe this Elliot opened up
your feelings a little bit.
I don't want to hear that.
- Sorry.
Mistress Lisa?
I finally get to spend some time with you...
...alone?
Why are my bags here? Am I moving in?
I have a very important job here...
...that I like, and I'm good at it.
And you have become
a disruptive influence.
Its my fault as much as it is yours.
So, I'm afraid you have to leave Eden.
Here's your money back.
Diana will make arrangements
for you to get home.
Have a good trip.
Excuse me.
What happened between last night
and this morning?
Last night, you had a wonderful bondage
fantasy and I helped you accept it.
That's what we do here.
It wasn't real.
- Yes, but afterwards.
I'm a professional, and I let it get
personal, and that's why you have to leave.
One condition: you come with me.
I cant do that.
- Come on, I won the race.
You owe me time. Come with me.
We can go away for a weekend.
I have money.
- Elliot...
Diana says you love the South.
We can go to New Orleans.
You like New Orleans.
- I don't have time.
And I'm not interested
in relationship stuff.
Its not serious.
We can stay in separate rooms.
We just have fun.
We go away, we have fun,
and we see if you and I are real.
I cant believe
you want to deny what we feel.
You're so sweet.
Sweet?
- Yeah.
She says I'm sweet.
Sweet means III end up
in New Orleans alone, listening to a banjo.
All right, III think about it.
Okay.
We are going.
Diana?
I just brought Elliot's luggage to Mistress
Lisa. That means hes being sent away.
Sent away where?
- I don't know. Only she would know.
But if you're looking for two guys,
Citizen Lars is available.
Actually, no!
It's my dream just to make you happy.
Yeah, you and every man.
I really have to see Mistress Lisa.
That's my thigh there, Tom.
No, my breasts.
Okay, listen, why don't you take a shower?
How about that?
Maybe do some pushups, who knows?
Fix the room. It could use a little Spackle.
Don't you think?
Got to run. Love to stay and talk.
Ill be back before you can say fetish.
I hate these garters.
You like this?
Are you enjoying your stay on the island?
You know, the secrets to get involved,
to get with the program.
This better be important.
Is your mistress here?
- What?
Is your mistress here?
- No. She went to see Mistress Lisa.
Alone?
- Yes.
Take care of the get-with-the-program
girl, III go find our photographer.
Ill meet you out by the golf cart.
Pleasure to meet you.
That was nice.
This better be important. I'm a busy man.
Mistress Lisa took a cart.
So?
- She was with Citizen Elliot.
They had luggage,
they talked about New Orleans...
...they went toward her plane.
The whereabouts of Mistress Lisa
is privileged information.
Is that so? I'm a cop. LAPD.
Where is she?
She and Citizen Elliot left the island.
Whats wrong?
Nothing yet. Can you do me a favor?
Can you go get that new maintenance man,
that Marv...
Greenway. Utica, New York.
- Right.
Absolutely.
- Thank you very much.
Here we go.
Bingo.
Get off of me!
Whoa! Pardonnez-moi!
Shes trying to kill me, you idiot!
Cuff her!
- I don't have any cuffs!
The only two people on this island
without handcuffs!
Let me go!
- Wheres Slater?
He left with Lisa. No sign of Omar.
Tie her up.
Nina Blackstone...
Are you gonna tell us
where your partner is?
I don't know what you're talking about.
I'm a guest here.
Right. Listen to me!
Don't bite him!
- Let me go! You've made a mistake!
You're under arrest.
Read her her rights.
- You have the right to remain silent.
Anything you say will be used against you.
- Stop it!
Keep your toes down!
- No!
No?
- No.
Now, that is something
I would not have been capable of.
My deductions are saying
Omar is still on this rock.
But we still don't know what he looks like.
Yes, Id like to put a person-to-person call
through to New Orleans, please.
Will you stop a minute?
I'm trying to talk business.
We take him out on the Avenue tonight.
We all point to him and say,
Hey, there's Tom Cruise!
He sells his autograph,
and we split the money.
He doesn't look like Tom Cruise.
- My wife thinks he looks like Tom Cruise.
Speak.
- Latte?
Yeah.
- Omar.
Mr. Omar, how you doing?
My dad gets out on parole in four months.
I'm driving his cab.
- That's nice. You give him my best wishes.
I have to go to New Orleans
for a couple of days. I need a favor.
You coming here? Great!
While we were turning Nina
over to the San Diego Police...
...Omar was making plans
to go kill Slater himself.
He hired a street-band musician,
Latte Chavez, to help until he arrived.
All right, lets go to work.
- I know who it is. He looks like Brad Pitt.
He doesn't look like Brad Pitt either.
Brad Pitt? He looks like Tom Cruise!
You're an awful lot of fun to be with.
I can be fun.
I just get paid to be mean.
Subjects A and B landed
in a white, twin-engine Cessna 421...
...changed clothes
at the River Terrace Hotel...
...and went immediately to Bourbon Street
with the rest of the yahoos.
Latte out.
Its Tom Cruise.
- Its not.
It is.
- Its not.
I swear it is.
- That's Brad Pitt.
No, it is not!
- It is.
They're on foot.
I've switched to a rented car...
...a sweet Beemer.
What do I like to do best in bed?
I like to giggle.
- Giggle?
Cuddle and giggle.
After a hard day of smacking people,
its nice to cuddle.
Cuddle?
You mean, just cuddle?
The next morning, an island-hopping
food-supply plane left Eden.
Stashed among the food was
a Mr. Tillington of Guilford.
A credit-card check found Lisa and Elliot
at a hotel in New Orleans.
We were on our way,
racking up the frequent-flyer miles.
Come on, slowpoke, get dressed.
Its a beautiful day outside,
and were going to have some fun.
What do you have there? I'm starving.
Croissants from the French Quarter.
I don't need butter with my...
Now, pay attention.
This is an old Australian recipe.
Thank you.
One stick of butter...
...at room temperature.
Did you see Last Tango in Paris?
No.
And a sprinkle...
...of cinnamon.
Australian kink.
Bon appetit.
Excuse me.
I'm sorry.
Yes?
Mistress Lisa, this is Richard.
While you were kidnapping a guest,
all hell broke loose here.
I understand. I got it.
- Did you know what Mrs.--
Who was that?
Richard.
Quite a mood breaker.
He thinks I kidnapped you.
He what?
I broke my own rule,
taking you off the island.
So are you going back?
- I have to. I'm the boss.
If I'm the boss, why do I have to go?
I always wanted to go see New Orleans.
I'm here right now!
I don't know what I'm doing.
And I'm whining.
Come on.
Where are we going?
- That's a surprise.
This is one of our loveliest
antebellum mansions in the area.
Antebellum means anything...
...that was before
the War of Northern Aggression.
Please, come right on in.
Yall watch your step, now. Be careful.
And yes, you can take photographs in here.
I always wanted to come here.
- Why?
My mother was born in New Orleans.
Speak.
- Latte, I'm here!
What took you so long?
Now, yall can buy your souvenirs from the
souvenir stand over there after the tour.
This is the famous Beauregard staircase.
Unfortunately, the second floor isn't
open to us because of renovations...
...but I'm sure well all be more than
satisfied with the family heirlooms...
...were fixin' to see downstairs.
Fred and I arrived in New Orleans...
...and found a guy in the Big Easy
who really wasn't that easy.
Why are you busting our chops?
Ill tell ya. I hate cops an awful lot.
- I'm gonna kill him.
And it doesn't matter that this is
a life-and-death issue?
Nope.
Do you want us to bribe you with money?
Nope.
You want to see me naked?
- Now, that's an idea.
What do you think, Fred?
I think that's a US Code violation,
Section 616, Subparagraph 5A.
What would that be?
- Sexual Harassment of a Peace Officer.
Exactly what I thought.
- Okay, you win.
She bought tour tickets:
plantation, mansion, wanted to see Tara.
Come on, I dare you.
Yall follow me back to the gardens...
...where well view
the jasmine-covered gazebo.
Watch your step, now.
Flagstone is slippery.
Look.
Its a beautiful...
...bedroom.
I just thought it would be great to...
...be alone in a traditional
Southern bedroom with...
No equipment.
Just us.
No party tricks.
You okay with that?
This lovely garden
and charming tennis court...
...was the site
of Mr. Beauregard's wedding...
...to the exquisite Miss Ophelia Prescott.
One of the most extravagant nuptials
for the period...
...it epitomized the Romantic Era.
You okay?
Yeah, its...
I feel a little awkward in this position.
Just relax.
At 3:45, a tourist spotted a man
fitting Omar's description...
...outside the Beauregard Mansion.
He was dressed to kill.
Every time you want a job done properly,
you have to do it yourself.
Omar was running out of time,
and he was running out of accents.
Hi, I wonder if you could help me.
Hi, I wonder if you could help me.
Did you see a young couple
come in here a while back?
Shes very pretty, reddish-brown hair.
Shes my cousin Annabelle
and her boyfriend.
Perhaps if you bought a fan.
Sure, III buy a fan. Ill have that one.
We have to leave this place
exactly how we found it.
Yeah, sure.
This should be it.
Excuse me.
Mr. Tillington, what are you doing here?
Actually, I'm here to take
Mr. Slaters camera and all his film.
Why?
You were unfortunate enough
to take a rare photograph of me.
In fact, the only photograph taken of me
since the third grade.
The guy at the baggage claim!
The camera.
Go downstairs, Lisa.
- You sit still.
The camera.
There's the tour.
- Yeah.
The camera!
Take this side?
- You bet!
Police!
Look, they're reenacting something.
Police! Out of the way!
Look, that woman has a gun.
Is she on our tour?
Hold it!
I didn't. I swear, I couldn't.
Sorry I'm late.
I got hung up on the wisteria.
Police! You okay?
- Yeah.
Sheila, duck!
Reenactment, my ass!
Partner!
You look like Eva Marie Saint.
God, Fred, you're good.
LAPD! Hi!
Were tourists here, too!
Were really enjoying Louisiana!
We love New Orleans! Who dat?
Omar survived the fall with
two broken legs, two gunshot wounds...
...and he's now in traction.
His photograph was
in over 65 newspapers, in color.
Summers. Who's Summers?
Home with Mom and Dad like you?
- Get out of there!
You say he was trying to steal your purse?
- He did take my purse.
And when you wouldn't give it to him,
he punched you.
And when I was laying on the floor,
he took my wallet and my keys.
Did you get a good look at him?
- Of course I did! It was my husband!
Why are you still with him?
Everything is in his name: the house,
the car. Where am I supposed to live?
How will I survive?
- I don't know how you survived this long.
Its your fourth time this month.
Stop letting this man control your life.
You okay, lady?
But I don't even know if you can tell
its Omar. I was shooting blind.
Well develop it and let you know.
Thanks for all your help, okay?
Hes all yours.
- Id like to take that statement.
Okay.
- Miss Emerson, you all right?
Yes, I would like to go.
- Sure.
Ill do my statement. It wont take long.
- I want to go back to the hotel.
Listen, well just be down the hall.
You can ask for the squad room. All right?
Come on, Fred.
Fred, come on.
Why?
- Come on, Fred!
You know, you've gotten real bossy
since that damn island.
You okay?
- Just tired.
I thought I was going to lose you.
I love you, Lisa Emerson.
I really need to get out of this building.
- Okay.
Ill meet you back at the hotel,
soon as I can.
Taxi!
Sheila, hi.
Bonnie, how are you?
- Great.
If you see Fred, would you tell him
I'm double-parked outside?
I sure will.
Thanks.
You're welcome.
See you.
Nice seeing you...
...Bonnie.
Bye, thanks for your help.
I got that stuff faxed,
so I'm ready to take off.
Your ex-wife is here.
Shes outside.
What is she doing in New Orleans?
I flew her in for the weekend.
Were actually talking about maybe
taking a shot at putting it back together.
That's nice.
See you in the office on Monday.
Nice job, partner.
Were both good.
Thanks.
Why are we pretending
that your bag isn't buzzing?
You bought a vibrator!
- Just a razor.
Fred got a vibrator!
- Just a little...
I knew it! Yes, you did!
I cant believe you!
Did you get it on the island?
- Yes.
They had a discount for employees.
Its for Bonnie.
See you back in LA, partner.
- All right.
I'm ovulating.
An egg was just released
into my Fallopian tube.
Another one just dropped.
Its in my uterus.
I love that guy.
Hello?
Hello, Mr. Slater.
- Oh, it's you.
Try to control your excitement.
You left your broken camera
here at the station.
You can send it over to me.
She left?
- How'd you know?
I can hear it in your voice. I'm sorry.
She left a note.
She went back to the island.
I have to go to the island tomorrow.
They found your film. If you want to
hop a ride with me, III see what I can do.
I didn't hear what you said. Did you
say... Could you hold on a second?
I am on the phone here.
Sugar, calm down.
You're gonna have yourself a heart attack.
Sugar, calm down.
Hello?
Sugar, he hung up!
Mistress Lisa!
There's a visitor here to see you.
Here's the film.
- Thank you very much.
Thank you for saving my life.
- Got a minute?
Sure.
This is none of my business,
and you can tell me to butt out.
Elliot told me what happened.
Butt out.
You two seemed to have
something special.
You said I could tell you to butt out.
I said you could tell me.
I didn't say that I would do it.
You think I came all this way
just to get the film?
Haven't you heard of Federal Express?
Why did you come?
I wanted to talk to you about Elliot.
There's nothing to talk about.
Lisa, listen to me.
Lisa, Miss, Madam, Dominatrix...
- Wait, you listen to me.
You saw those women at the station?
Sure, I saw.
You know what they all had in common?
They all gave up control.
Come on, you cant run your life from a
couple of poor souls down at a precinct.
I know a lot of women
involved in healthy relationships.
You're kind of corny for a cop.
Listen, I've had my share
of bad times with men, okay?
Some are assholes, Elliot is not.
If we don't cultivate the good ones,
there aren't gonna be any.
I'm sorry, I have to go.
For what its worth, Elliot told me to
tell you there's an old Australian saying:
It ain't over till the fat kangaroo sings.
Bye, Mistress Lisa.
I'm going to take a nap.
I don't want to be disturbed.
Why are you smiling?
- No reason at all.
You look...
I came back to get down on one knee
and propose.
But it seems overdone,
so I thought Id try it this way.
Will you marry me?
You mean, like, leave here,
meet your parents...
...buy a condo, holidays?
You want me to cook?
No, our marriage, love...
...family, fantasy, erotic,
whatever we decide.
Can you help me?
Diana tied this a little too tight.
Babies and bondage, I could do both?
- Yeah.
Id love to say, My wife is a dominatrix.
I could just see myself at the kids school
on career day.
I left New Orleans because--
- I don't want to know.
I'm gonna love you forever.
Even if I'm scared?
- Even if you're petrified.
Ill see you on the plane.
I loved all the citizens: Art, Shawn--
- Thank you so much, really.
Sheila Kingston. Thank you.
Sheila.
I was ready to catch the boat.
I wanted to say good-bye.
You look really good in clothes.
What happened to your hand?
- Nothing.
I didn't recognize you
without your thong and chains.
Did you get fired?
- No, I don't work here.
I come here a couple of times a year
just for a little fun and relaxation.
Sure, I see.
One of my factories is in Los Angeles...
...where I hear you're with the police.
- Yes, I am.
I wonder if maybe
we could have dinner sometime?
Really?
- Yeah.
I don't know.
I never really thought about it.
Take my card.
You're a CEO.
Yes, I am.
This is the final boarding call.
- I have to go catch the plane.
You look great.
- You look great.
Bye.
- Ill see you.
Bye.
Bye.
Did you see that?
- C'est I'amour de jeunesse.
Au revoir. Croissant.
You know, I have always had this fantasy...
...about being with a kind man.
With an incredible derri e re.
So, I'm a matchmaker.
Lisa and Elliot are getting married
on July 4.
To send a present, they're registered
at Tiffany's in the leather department.
Nina Blackstone is serving time in prison.
I hear she calls the bingo game
every Friday night:
"B-14."
"N-21."
Omar got three life sentences,
and with our parole system...
...will probably be out in three months.
I'm on my second date
with CEO Tommy Miller.
He helped my fantasies
come true last Saturday...
...by sending over four men
who painted my house.
What did I learn from this case?
No matter what your sexual preference,
true love is still the ultimate fantasy.
l-14.
B-6.
G-Whiz.
Listen, all of you people out there...
...don't kill anyone.
Prison stinks.
- Mon Dieu, Elliot!
What did you do?
Look at the mess you've made!
I didn't knock it over!
- It happened just like magic?
Don't be a pain.
- I'm going to tell.
I didn't spill it.
Naughty boy.
- Leave me alone! I'm accident-prone.
Behave yourself.
- Let go! Stop it!
I'm telling your mama and papa.
You are very naughty.
Stop it.
How many times have I told you
not to come in the kitchen?
How many times have I told you?
One million times!
Testing. Lets begin.
Hello, Elliot. I've known you for a long
time, always considered you a friend...
...and I admire your work.
Thank you, Martin.
I always have trouble saying your name,
because Australians have difficulty...
...with the American R.
It would be easier if your name was Bob.
This is a serious interview.
- I'm sorry.
I'm just a little anxious.
You've achieved a great deal of success
in your creative and artistic field.
You've traveled a great deal.
You have influential friends. You've dated
a bevy of bright and beautiful women.
Yet you've never had a lasting relationship.
I never seem to get it right.
I'm a simple girl. I don't need
to do all these far-out things...
...with somebody who's never around.
Does this mean were not
gonna have breakfast? Thank you.
Get out!
You came close to getting married once,
quite close.
Yeah, Kathleen.
It started out all right. Sunny day, lovely
flowers, nice crowd. Everyone was there.
Except the bride.
That was a difficult day.
That's when you called me
about the island?
Yeah, I was hoping you could help me.
- If you're selected, when can you leave?
I have an assignment in South America
for a month, and then I'm free.
Why do you think your relationships
do not work out?
I'm not always honest with myself
about what I want.
We'll be landing at Los Angeles
International Airport momentarily...
...where the local time is 4:05 a.m.
We've enjoyed serving you on Flight 241,
and if your future travel plans...
...take you to South America, we hope
you will once again choose Aero Brazil.
US citizens, over here. Aliens, over there.
This way, please.
Hey, Tony.
- Hi, Susan. See you.
Next, please.
Excuse me, sir,
could you hold my baby, please?
Sir, could you help me and hold my baby?
Thank you very much.
Thank you. Next?
Hello, Aidan, this is Dr. Rubino.
Whats the emergency?
Hi, mom. Yeah, I'm safe. We just landed.
I'm exhausted.
Mom, its 4:00 in the morning.
I really gotta go. Bye.
Don't you hate getting in this late?
My eyes get so dry when I fly.
Hold it. You're the guy with the turban!
Okay, Martin, thank you.
Passenger Joel Stearns, please pick up
the nearest white courtesy phone.
Passengers arriving
on Aero Brazil Flight 241...
...may claim their baggage at Carousel 2.
Are you crazy?
Taking a picture of me blowing my nose?
Would you stop it?
Okay. I'm a professional.
Call me, well do a sitting sometime.
Yeah.
Your bags moving.
Want me to get that? III get it for you.
No, leave it alone. Leave it.
Excuse me, sir.
Going to unload your own luggage?
This lady accidentally lost her bag.
I wasn't watching where I put my bag.
Its all right. It will come around.
Here it is.
Sorry to cause you so much trouble.
We cant be responsible for your head
if you stick it in the baggage hole.
Ill remember that.
Look, I don't know
if something was going down or not.
Please open all of your bags.
They may just be smuggling
a bottle of vodka for all I know.
I got photos of both of them.
I need some stuff on this roll,
but if you wanna see them, here's my card.
We have to do a full check on everybody.
Ill remember that.
- Nice job.
You stay out of trouble.
Smuggling.
Hello, my little friends.
The white zone is for the immediate
loading and unloading of passengers only.
No parking.
Did you have any trouble in there?
Absolutely not. I'm a professional.
Yes, a professional.
Good morning,
and welcome to LA's premier XXX club...
...The Feather.
When the sun comes up,
the bras come down.
It is dark and time for our sunrise special.
Cock-a-doodle-doo!
Give it up.
Look what I got!
Now.
We think you'll find this will help
Mr. Walker breathe a lot better.
Wait here.
- All right.
Mr. Walker, everything checks out fine.
- Good.
LAPD!
Freeze!
Is this a raid?
- I'm 21, I swear.
Get out of the way.
- All of you.
Get down!
- Come here!
On the floor!
- Watch it, buddy.
Get with the program!
The floor! On the floor!
You! Get with the program!
Out of my way! Kill them!
Spread em. You've never been
in trouble with the police before?
I haven't. I'm clean.
- Yeah, you're clean. Miranda.
If you would do the honors,
Detective Kingston.
My pleasure.
Where are you going? Sit down!
You are sitting down!
You sit down, unless you're crawling.
Fred, my feet are killing me in these shoes.
Welcome to King Solomons mine.
God, I'm good.
Get down!
Check, please.
Ill go!
Hi. I'm Sheila Kingston, and I'm a cop.
Thought I was a supermodel?
Don't feel bad.
Everyone makes that mistake.
Damn it, they got away. I hate that.
That's my partner, Detective Fred Lavery.
June 13, that's the date.
It was the beginning
of the wildest case of my career.
Let me tell you,
my love life has never been the same.
And your love life may never be
the same either.
Here we go. Case No. 11725.
The FBI and the US Customs Bureau
had been trying to break...
...a South American diamond-smuggling
ring for about two years without success.
That's where we came in.
And our backup finally arrived. Late.
Must have been a line at Dunkin' Donuts.
We got the diamonds.
The bad guys got away.
All we knew, one of them had a bad cold.
You missed Walker. How could you miss
a man in a wheelchair?
Things didn't go that well
at the airport either.
Really?
- A man took your picture.
Took my picture?
...it's a detour, and people act out...
Ill be two minutes, pal.
...early childhood humiliations
in order to get rid of them.
It's been estimated that about a third of all
couples have tried spanking each other.
About a third have tried
tying each other up.
The woman in the pain profession,
the dominatrix...
...considers it an ideal profession.
She can sleep in late.
She can wear interesting clothes.
She can push men around.
And with her whips and handcuffs...
...she actually makes
more money per hour than I do.
And she can also charge it
on Visa or MasterCard. It's sometimes--
Here we are.
That's him.
Looks like hes taking another trip.
- Yeah, with his camera.
Shall I grab him?
Not yet. It doesn't mean that
the damn film is in the camera.
All right. You go search the house.
I'm gonna follow the cab. Go!
Here you go.
- Thanks.
An hour later, Elliot Slater boarded a ship
at Los Angeles Harbor, Pier 56.
We assumed he was going
on another photo assignment. He wasn't.
He didn't know what was ahead of him
or who was behind him.
Whoa, Doctor. No more blood samples.
No, I came to tell you
that you passed your physical.
You are HIV-negative
and all your body parts...
...that should be working, work.
That's great, but you didn't try them all.
I did forget one.
I always save that for last.
Drop your pants.
I don't even know your first name.
- Doctor.
Turn your head and cough. Again.
I cant believe I'm doing this.
I bet you've been doing this
since you were 13.
No, I mean being here on this ship.
Follow the rules, and you'll do fine.
From here on out, we only ask one thing.
What?
Wed like you to refrain from
any private sexual stimulations.
We want you to perform up to
your own expectations once you arrive.
Just finishing a roll.
Good luck.
Are you positive?
- I think so.
Think so is not positive.
- I'm pretty sure.
Pretty sure is not positive.
We need positive.
Does this help?
- Yes. That's her. She went for my throat.
I'm positive.
- Thank you, Susan.
You can now go back to work.
In the event of a water landing,
there are six exits on this plane.
I could've been a stewardess.
Lets put this on the wire,
Nina and all her aliases.
I'm not gonna put an APB out on a person
with magic marker on her face.
Its a red dot.
In my office.
- Yes, sir.
I got an ID on Nina.
- I got the same from the airport security.
He said she was a beauty queen.
- Shes a psychotic who kills people...
...and injures the handicapped.
- Handicapped criminals.
Folks, please, I'm late for a meeting,
if you don't mind. Come on.
So Walker talked.
Said that Nina was partners with Omar.
What do you got on Omar, Mr. Filofax?
- Okay, at your service.
Omar, precious gem smugglers
pinup boy.
Wanted for murdering two
Hasidic diamond merchants in Rotterdam.
No known aliases or physical description.
No known photos.
Ill take Obscure Criminals for $500.
- Except there now is a photograph...
...but we are not in possession of it.
- Where does that leave us?
My deduction?
- Please.
We can assume that Nina told Omar
this photographer...
...took the only photos of Omar
in the modern world.
Omar is going to want to get his hands
on this photographer, Slater, pretty bad.
Lieutenant, if we can get to Slater
and his camera before they do...
...we can set a trap,
and they will walk right into our arms.
Works for me. Lieutenant?
God, I'm...
- Don't say it.
...good.
- He said it.
Okay, that's it. Fred's right.
That's your next assignment.
Did you trace Slater's ship?
- It wasn't easy.
But we know its going
to an island resort, a club.
Club Med?
- Well, its not your usual resort.
Its a place for SandM, B
MandM?
They have a Club Med for sex orgies?
Maybe this will help you out. Here's some
bondage magazines to study up on.
Tomorrow, you will be meeting with
Dr. Martin Halifax, the islands owner.
He will set you up to go undercover.
That's what we do.
- Yes, we do.
This is now over. Get out of my office.
I'm late for supper.
Thanks, boss.
- Good night, Lieutenant.
Lets go, Fred.
I ate four green ones. I don't feel anything.
Wait one hour.
This is just so gross.
Come on. Welcome to the 90s.
Its just an alternative lifestyle.
An alternative lifestyle.
Do you know what that is?
A phrase deviants use
to cover up their sex lives.
Maybe if you'd spiced up your sex life
a little, you wouldn't be divorced.
What? I spiced it up plenty.
Many a time, I let the wife get on top.
On top? It just boggles the mind.
I was joking.
- I figured.
Ill get the file on Nina. Do whatever.
Catch you later. I gotta get a bikini wax.
Stop telling me about that
disgusting female stuff.
No wonder you were never married.
- I have PMS, too. Do you know that?
Sometimes I bloat, weight gain,
temporary water buildup.
I hate to tell you this. I clot.
Heavy flow days.
Welcome. I'm Senior Trainer Richard.
Hi, Richard.
- There's no talking, Riba.
Dr. Williams will be around
to collect your release forms.
While shes doing that,
please take off your clothing.
You will spend one week at Eden.
Each of you has specifically chosen
to pay your entrance fee...
...and sign up as submissives at Eden,
some of you for fun...
...others of you to examine
your sexual and emotional lives.
And we, after careful screening,
have chosen you for one of three reasons:
Your curiosity, your desire to obey...
...or your capacity for arousal.
From now on, you will be
referred to as citizens of Eden.
And you will obey all of our commands.
Is that clear?
Yes.
- Good.
When you arrive at Eden,
all of your luggage will be taken...
...and stored on the island
for safekeeping until you leave.
At Eden, everybody wears a specific outfit.
Yours designates that you're citizens
or, if you will, submissives.
The trainers will hand out
your Eden attire...
...which you'll wear
during your stay on our island.
Excuse me, Doctor.
Is this the right boat
to the fantasy camp for golfers?
Golfers?
- Yes.
I'm supposed to play with Lee Trevino.
You come with me.
- Arnold Palmer and Chi Chi Rodriguez...
Also, alcohol and drugs are not permitted
on the island.
You'll love it here.
I've been here three times.
Riba, be quiet.
Please put on your Eden outfits,
and return to your room.
I guess that covers all the details
the department has to know, Dr. Halifax.
On June 15, Detective Lavery met with
the owner of the resort.
A Dr. Martin Halifax,
a guy who is very into ornithology.
Bird collecting. I had to look it up, too.
They met at his mansion in Malibu,
California. A very swanky place.
Detective Lavery? If there's nothing else...
Okay. Well, then, I guess I'm off
to your SandM fantasy island.
Where the little guy runs around yelling,
The pain! The pain!
You're not mocking my work, are you?
- No, sir.
In fact, how did you happen to start
this resort of yours?
I believe there's always been a need
for such a place.
There are many people with similar tastes but
with limited opportunities to discuss...
...or fulfill them.
I guess you're right, there.
All you got is your peeler bars...
...your sicko handcuff clubs,
weirdo newspaper ads...
But none offers an environment
safe from disease or violence.
In this era of fringe-group lunacy,
shouldn't we preserve freedom of choice...
...in the most intimate of all choices? Sex.
Everybody up on deck! This is Eden!
Mistress, the boats here.
Paddle!
Lets go! Okay, move it!
You okay?
Keep in time!
Keep your heads down!
Ladies and gentlemen,
the new citizens are arriving.
They beg for your examination.
I'm Trainer Kindra,
and I'm pleased to announce that today...
...we have a new group of citizens for
everyone's use and approval.
As you choose them, they also choose you.
All our pairings, whether married couples
or singles, are by mutual consent.
Our head trainer Richard
will introduce them.
But first, our headmistress of Eden,
Mistress Lisa.
I could carry you around like that, too.
All this ceremony and ritual
makes me so aroused.
Why are we in a tent?
Sometimes planes and helicopters fly
overhead and try to see what were doing.
What are we doing?
Quiet, Riba.
You will now meet
each candidate individually...
...and, as is custom here at Eden, they will
then pay homage to Mistress Lisa.
First, we have Lars from Sweden.
Oh, my God.
Julie. Atlanta, Georgia.
Dante. Anaheim, California.
Riba, from Fort Worth, Texas.
Jenny. Australia.
This isn't quite what I expected.
I gotta get out of here.
You cant. The boat already left.
Naomi, from Memphis, Tennessee.
Elliot, from Australia
and Los Angeles, California.
Lets go, Citizen Elliot.
- You go.
I'm not going up there.
- Yes, you are.
I'm not going up.
- Elliot Slater.
Take it off, baby.
Okay, that's enough. Here's your robe.
Lets go, Slater.
Thank you very much.
It feels like a sponge cake.
Quite a showoff, aren't you, Elliot?
Individuality is an admirable trait.
But not here. I think you need
a couple of days to realize...
...you're nobody special in Eden.
Turn around.
Put him on work detail. Take him away.
Heidi, from Fargo, North Dakota.
$3 million worth of stolen diamonds were
confiscated after a shootout...
...that left two suspects still at large.
Now that you've found us,
don't be a stranger.
You know, you're gonna be surprised
how much use you get out of that.
On June 16, suspects Nina and Omar
were seen at a specialized clothing store...
...on Sunset Blvd. Apparently, they found
out where Slater's ship was headed, too.
Fred and I arrived at the shop
minutes later.
Come on, Lucky.
Fred was his usual adventuresome self.
Let's face it.
A wild night for Fred
is a Doris Day film festival.
No blowup toys, no vibrators, no gels,
no creams, no cuffs, no tapes.
How about some clothes?
- No, actually.
I'm just here with him. Its his thing.
A lot of people feel nervous...
...about this
submissive-dominant thing at first.
But, you know, really,
the submissive person is always in control.
All you have to do
is give your partner a little control word.
Like yellow.
Yellow. Yellow! Fred!
Look! Bondage Man.
Its like Elvis Goes to Hell.
Ill be the guest.
- Ill be the maintenance man.
Lets get started.
Lots of men like to hear women talk dirty.
Lets hear someone talk dirty.
Any volunteers? How about you?
No, I couldn't.
- Come on. Just try.
That's why you're here.
Say something hot to your lover in bed.
All right.
Come on, put your thing in my thing.
Its a start.
One, two, three.
And finally, the experts predict,
to survive intimacy in the year 2000...
...women will learn to be more sexually
aggressive, and men, more romantic.
Our time is up. Thank you. Zara?
Thank you, Mistress Lisa.
Now, if you'd all come with me,
well go on to the next class.
That was a wonderful lecture.
- Do you have a book out? - No,
we like to keep it kind of private here.
I understand. Id better catch up. Bye.
There he is again.
- Yeah.
What do you think of her? Shes cool.
Elliot Slater.
Slater was intrigued by erotica
but was reticent to try it until now.
I think we can help him.
There he is.
Read the whole bio.
Born in Australia and grew up
in California's San Fernando Valley.
That must make for an interesting accent.
What the hell's he doing?
Hes an award-winning photojournalist
whose specialty is combat photography.
They say hes fearless.
Hes never been trained.
Fast-forward to the end of the interview.
But one more thing.
What?
- You didn't list your sexual fantasies.
You do have sexual fantasies?
Doesn't everybody?
Be honest. You're not comfortable
talking about them.
Not really.
That's why I want to go to the island.
Who else sees this tape?
Does everybody get interviewed like this?
Hes going to be work.
Ill train him myself.
When you get to the island,
find this Slater character...
...and stick to him like glue.
We don't want Slater to know
hes the bait.
No, he could panic.
If we tell him we need the film,
well know what Omar looks like.
Hes smart. I don't want to chance it.
If Omar even suspects that the police
are involved, he could disappear.
It wont be hard to spot Nina.
How many tall black women are there
in the world?
Hey, Sheila.
- Hey, Martha.
Dr. Halifax has sent your plane tickets.
When you get there...
What are you doing?
- Its wigs, Lieutenant.
For undercover on the island. In case
they recognize me from the strip club.
How? You were already in disguise
in your stripper cover.
I pointed that out to her, sir.
Debbie Gibson?
In a less-than-perfect world.
If you find Nina,
I only want you to observe her...
...because we could also use her
to get to Omar. I want Omar.
You got it.
Florence Henderson?
- No, Mrs. Brady on a binge.
Your itineraries are with your tickets.
Pay attention. Look at me.
I'm listening.
Watch your expense accounts.
You're cops, not politicians.
Good luck.
- Roger.
Last one, Fred. You call it.
Julio Iglesias, Sasquatch, road-kill...
Just do your New York thing.
All right.
While I was trying to cover
my stringy hair with wigs...
...Omar and Nina were charming
their way to the island.
So, that's the favor.
You owe me one, Priscilla.
But Dr. Halifax sends me
some of my best clients.
Mistress Priscilla,
I'm ready to be punished.
Look, I have to go to work.
Omar had 30 years
in the smuggling business...
...with no arrests
and no photos ever taken.
He wanted to retire with a clean slate.
He was obsessed with getting Slater's film.
Look.
You get me on that next guest list
that's going to that island.
I'm sorry about Mom.
Are you going to be okay, Dad?
- Hell, of course I am.
It just isn't fair.
- Of course its fair.
People die.
She was 52 years old.
It was her time.
Come on, get in the cab.
I'm sure the meters running.
Ill call you.
Bye, dad.
Mistress, hes waiting.
Is something wrong?
You haven't said a word to me all night.
I'm just thinking.
Thinking about your mother?
No, my father, actually.
At my mothers funeral, he didn't cry.
I've never seen him cry.
Eyes straight.
Lets talk about something prettier.
He is attractive.
Especially those eyes.
I wouldn't know, Mistress.
I cant see his eyes.
Come on, its cold.
Don't look.
Come here, I want to sit down.
Where?
- No talking.
No.
Very good, Pretty Eyes.
Now I'm going to let you feel
what you so very much wanted to see.
You want me to rock?
Bring him to my room tomorrow night.
June 17, we arrived on a privately-owned
island just off the coast of Mexico...
...called Eden.
I thought Id seen everything.
Well, I hadn't.
New guests,
please sign in at the hospitality tent.
Its all right. Our citizens will
take care of your luggage for you.
It'll be at your accommodations.
The citizens traveled by boat,
and the guests on chartered planes.
Both paid big bucks
for what I was doing free.
Hi, we didn't meet. I'm Bettiann,
and this is my husband Jeffrey.
Hi. Lucy Smith. How are you?
- Fine.
I'm a dental hygienist.
- Really?
Do you floss?
- Yes.
Step right through to the hospitality tent.
Because you have no tartar buildup.
- Tartar? Really?
This is gonna be fun, huh, Bettiann?
- Wonderful, beautiful.
Were in for a treat. I can feel it.
Bob Greenway.
Welcome, Master. I'm here to please you.
- Ill do anything to give you pleasure.
Wait! Hes just an employee.
Your transportation is over there, sir.
What can I do for you, Master?
- Carry my bag.
Thank you.
I'm here to serve you.
Use me any way you wish.
I'm here to make your body tingle.
- Is that so?
I believe that's my transportation.
Bob Greenway, air-conditioning mechanic.
Ou est ma reservation? Merde!
- Madame Randy, c'est pas dans Le registre.
Votre nom n'est pas ici.
- Madame Randy.
Mais, non. Attendez une seconde.
Voila, je I'ai trouve.
Idiote!
May I please you?
If you can handle it.
Can I just follow the... Okay, III just...
Last year, I was in a hotel in Miami
next to the elevator and the ice machine.
What a nightmare.
All night.
Meet you at the room.
- Fine.
Excuse me, am I near the ice machine?
- No, maam, we make it by hand.
I will not tolerate being near an--
- Would you please be careful?
Do I get the same person all the time,
or do they rotate?
Kitty is one of our best citizens.
She finished training early.
Okay, in.
There are no locks on the doors.
Nothing to hide here at Eden.
Hotel phones are room-to-room only.
Emergency calls can be made
from the office.
Ill be your personal citizen,
if it pleases you.
Thrilled.
I have a little specialty.
Specialty?
Look, I'm a new maintenance man.
I'm not a guest here.
So I don't have to do
the kinky stuff, right?
I'm a doctor, and everybody
on this island gets a physical.
I'm checking for hernias. Drop your shorts.
Turn your head and cough.
Cough.
Turn your head the other way. Cough.
That's a good boy.
Or should I say big boy?
I'm on the job here.
- Me, too.
I have to be at Mistress Lisas
in five minutes.
Shes having a little welcoming tea
for the new guests. Ladies only.
Well discuss intimate things.
- Lucky you.
You think that was Nina on the plane?
The tall, yellow outfit
shouting at everybody in French?
I don't think so. Too obvious.
Better keep your eye out
for any other possible Ninas.
Excuse me.
- I've got a list of chores. Oil sex chair.
Wait. I know you're new, but maintenance
people are not allowed to talk to guests.
I was just asking if there was a gift shop.
I need to get some tampons.
- Definitely.
Super-absorbency? With odor control?
- All that.
Perfect.
- Right this way.
Thank you.
Could you connect me with Mrs. Randy?
Elliot wasn't among the regular citizens.
He was nowhere to be found.
While Nina and Omar
were plotting to find him...
...I checked in to the coffee klatch.
Go on, Nancy.
So after 20 years,
he tells me what his sexual fantasies are.
I tell him what my sexual fantasies are.
It turns out that they're incredibly similar,
except that now its too late...
...because were in the middle of
a divorce. Such a waste of time...
...and good sex.
Again, you must discuss
your sexual fantasies with your partner.
Are you gonna eat that?
Any other questions?
- Yes, I have two.
First, do your parents know you do this?
They think that I work at a four-star resort.
Which this is, kind of.
Okay, and second, how do you decide
you wanna be a dominatrix?
What do you, wake up one day
and go, Hey, I feel like being bossy?
No...
I don't mean to pry.
You don't have to tell me.
No, its all right.
I remember once, there was this birthday
party in high school for the quarterback...
...and I volunteered to be the present.
He never talked to me again.
I just wanted everybody to like me.
I didn't even know the guy.
And there were a few others like him.
But that all changed
when I went to college.
What did you take, Spanking 101?
Well, it wasn't on the curriculum.
Its where I met this professor.
- And Mary Ann...
Gilligan's Island?
- My favorite show.
I'm sorry. Conversation interruptus.
Continuous, please.
No, it was an English professor.
You see, I went to this very small,
conservative school.
And when I was a graduate student,
I wrote a paper on Pride and Prejudice.
In conclusion, it is apparent that Elizabeth
exhibited the qualities of a submissive.
She completely gave herself to her man,
and in doing so...
...forgot her own emotional pain.
You're really busy. I should go.
Put down your books.
Now take off your sweater.
You took off your clothes in his office?
I could never do that.
Even at home, I take off my clothes in the
bathroom, then I jump into bed quickly.
Which is weird, because I live alone.
You see, I was a victim.
I would have done anything he asked.
And it wasn't about sex.
He never touched me.
He seemed to understand
what I was going through.
And he arranged for me
to meet a friend of his...
...who specialized in erotica.
So a large, black limousine
picked me up at school...
...and took me to a beautiful mansion
with a gigantic iron gate.
I was given a note that said,
"Go into the living room...
"...take off your clothes,
put on the blindfold, and wait for me."
Hello, my beauty.
Which one would you like?
I need to hear what your fantasy is.
I'm here to create an illusion for you,
only the illusion.
I am a top, a master.
You are a bottom, a submissive.
Yet, were not different.
Were in unison to please each other.
Just tell me your wishes.
And welcome to my world.
I didn't know such a world existed.
Its a world in which
you have all the choices.
Can I choose to be master?
The best submissives usually become
the best masters.
You're a victim in life. I will teach you
to always be in total control.
You will never be a victim again, ever.
Never.
Ever.
I liked being in control. It felt safe.
But isn't there a happy medium?
Like, I tie you up one night,
you tie me up the next night?
Of course, it would be nice
not to be in control and still feel safe.
Have you ever?
Anyway, Diana.
I look forward to seeing you all
during your visit.
My favorite Gilligan episode?
Kurt Russell as the monkey boy.
He was cute, even then.
- I love that one! Do you remember that?
Kurt Russell was on the island.
No one knew he was there.
Follow me,
III lead you to our fantasy emporium...
...where you can choose
one of our fantasies.
That sounds fun.
I had a fantasy about Skipper once.
Remember Skipper?
He was chubby, but he was cute.
And we can also arrange for this fantasy
called Love With a Stranger.
Or Having Sex With a Mysterious Lover.
A popular fantasy,
especially among women.
No commitment.
No wishing the guy calls the next day.
No shame or guilt. It wasn't your fault.
You were seduced.
And you didn't even know his name.
Now, if you'll follow me.
And this is another of Edens fantasies.
Enjoying the pleasure of total
submissiveness to voice dominance.
And being titillated by command
is nothing to be ashamed of.
Here we show the secretary
dominating the boss...
...as one of the most common
command fantasies.
Mr. Vanderway, what do you want?
It's my lunch hour.
Do these documents over again in italics.
And give me that letter immediately.
- No.
What?
Come crawl over here for it.
- Crawl?
Mr. Vanderway, I want you to get down
on your hands and knees...
...and crawl for my letter.
Yes, Miss Perkins.
Good boss.
As Mr. Vanderway obeys, they both
examine the shadows of safe, sane...
...and submissive sexuality.
Our next fantasy is popular
with both sexes.
Sex in Public.
The excitement of getting caught.
How many floors does it take
you to make love?
In what position do you make love
in an elevator?
Lets see.
It seems our Sex in Public fantasy
is out of order.
Now, if you'll follow me,
well see enactments of the Roman bath.
I do it all the time. Its a real kick.
Trust me.
Roman baths.
- I once had a terrible toothache in Rome.
Can you tell me
where I can find Citizen Elliot?
Were not supposed to talk about...
I didn't know it at the time, but Omar was
actually on my Fantasy Emporium tour.
If she didn't stop asking me
about her teeth...
...I was gonna have to kill her.
No sign of Elliot, but two possible Ninas.
How are you doing?
All right. This island is way over the top.
Man, what a bunch of oddballs.
Will you lighten up? They're just
expressing what most people suppress.
On account of it should be suppressed.
- Why? They're not hurting anybody.
Look, there are some things in life
that are just better left undone.
Why cant these people think about it...
...instead of talking and acting out,
for heavens sake.
It probably gets them past
the game-playing?
There was a very interesting scene
over there.
There was a business man,
this secretary came in--
What are you saying?
You're being sucked in--
Excuse me.
- Yes.
Everyone's got to keep up with the group.
- I'm so sorry.
I think the maintenance man has
a little crush on me.
Lt. Malone had said
to look for strange behavior.
Well, here, it was hard to tell.
The rest of the day, I looked for Omar.
Omar looked for Elliot.
My "God, I'm good" partner, Fred,
concluded that the obvious Mrs. Randy...
...was, in fact, Nina.
He watched her,
hoping shed lead us to Omar.
We came up empty,
because Elliot was on the other side...
...of the island doing work detail.
So I decided to treat myself to a massage.
Tommy. Lower.
Lower?
- In fact, no, higher.
What the hell? Any way you like.
Mistress Lisa actually ran a nice place.
She designed all the clothes herself.
Her idea was to create these outfits
that were...
...as far away from reality as possible.
Our first day on the island,
and we made no progress.
Fred took the night shift
and almost got electrocuted.
As for me,
I went to bed quietly with a book.
Hey! No panting after 2:00 a.m.!
Turned out to be a busy night
around the island.
Mistress Lisa's lights were on pretty late.
Stand here and face the fireplace.
Wait.
Don't be so nosy.
Come in here.
Take off that robe.
Bathe me.
I wanna know you.
I don't even know your last name.
Tell me.
You have to go along with the illusion,
or else it doesn't work.
Now bathe me.
You know how some men
like women's legs?
Some like big breasts.
Some like long hair.
You know what I like?
I like butts.
Men's beautiful behinds.
You know what I like to do
to gorgeous butts?
I like to squeeze them, pinch them...
...and caress them.
You know what else I love?
I like to rub my bare breasts...
...down your back...
...and over your butt.
You like that, don't you?
You know what I like the best?
What I like best is...
You like that, don't you?
- No.
Oh, yes.
You are going to be punished
with pleasure.
I've heard you're fearless...
...that nothing scares you.
Please, don't blindfold me.
I'm covering your eyes, so you can
concentrate on what you're feeling.
You like that.
Tell me you like that.
- No.
You like that?
Being punished by a woman?
No.
I think you like it.
- No.
I give you permission to like it. Tell me.
No. I don't like it.
You like that?
Do you want me to stop?
- No.
Do you like it?
Tell me, or III stop.
Tell me.
Yes.
Louder. I cant hear you.
- I cant.
Why?
- I don't know.
Are you ashamed of it?
- Yes.
Its all right, Elliot. You can say it.
You can like it.
You're allowed here. Do you like it?
Tell me. Do you like it?
Yes.
I do like it.
That's it.
Let it go.
Good.
Its okay, baby.
Let it out.
Can I stay here tonight?
Yes.
On the floor, Citizen Elliot.
Would you like a pillow?
- No, thank you.
Good night.
Lisa...
Good night.
Lucy. Sorry.
Tommy. I cant believe
they don't have locks on this door.
What are you doing here?
I saw you with that mask, and I thought
you wanted to play bandit girl.
No.
- Come on.
Ill let you capture me.
- No, actually, this is a sleeping mask.
See those tiki torches out there?
I felt like I was on an airport runway.
Are there any other fun games
you might wanna play?
Sleeping. Sleeping's fun for me.
I'm gonna get back to it right now, in fact.
I'm gonna dream about fantasies that
maybe we can do some other time, okay?
All right.
Lucy?
- Yes?
I could sleep on the floor by you
and wake you up in the morning.
I don't really need a human alarm clock.
I could use a human door lock.
Why don't you go lay in front of the door,
and you can play guard boy?
Guard boy. I can do that.
- You like that?
All right, Tommy. Go ahead. Run along.
You got it.
- See you in the morning.
Ill be stepping over you. Okay.
Bye.
- Good to see you.
Thanks for stopping in.
This pleasure island
is starting to get to me.
Its affecting my work now.
Like today, I mean, I went berserk.
Nobody seemed to care.
Their sex sensors are numb.
Well, the flesh is weak.
And I think about other things
to distract myself.
Small-engine repair.
Elliot, I was just dreaming.
What are you doing?
Allow me to please you.
You don't have to do anything.
Just let me please you.
Elliot.
Yes.
What are you doing?
- I'm kissing you. Do you mind?
You know, its like, you see the flesh
all the time, the nakedness.
But is the anticipation more exciting,
or the actual naked flesh itself?
Trying to sort it all out.
A little confused.
I don't care. I'm reading the last page.
Lisa Emerson.
Why did I tell him my name?
Our second day on the island
was Sports Day.
Faster, come on.
Peanuts. Fresh peanuts over here.
The roller race is open to guests,
trainers and citizens.
The victor will win a private audience
with Mistress Lisa.
Exhibition tennis is available
on the upper level.
We hope you all participate in Sports Day.
All right, Lucy. Show em what you got.
- Come on, serve it.
That's the man. I got it.
Erotic art here. Art through the ages.
Ben Wah balls!
What are they used for?
- Can I buy that?
Marital aids, marital aids,
come vibrate with me.
Wanna punish me for those two points?
No, I think Id like to go down
to the beach now.
Hey, how are you doing?
- All right.
Kicked ass in volleyball.
- I knew you had it in you.
Its tough to spike in curtains.
My mother had that pattern
in her living room.
Have you seen Slater around?
- No.
We gotta solve this case soon,
because hanging around here...
...I am so horny. You ever get horny?
In high school.
I am getting so aroused.
- Spare me.
Is this really where were all headed?
Some, yes. Some of us, no.
You're a hit.
- What?
Everyone's talking about you.
They want you in the ring toss.
What?
- Something about your physical. Big boy?
Get out of here.
- I'm getting aggressive.
I'm requesting Citizen Elliot to my room.
I'm on the job. Ill see you later.
- Ill be weeding.
Fix that gong. I'm sick of seeing
broken gongs all over this island.
Citizen Julie,
report to the sticky-buns booth.
That's me. Excuse me. On my way.
Big boy, huh?
End of the line, maam.
Id heard from my slave man, Tommy,
that the people in work detail...
...were being let off
to participate in Sports Day.
I thought there was finally a chance
to request Slater.
Come in.
This is Citizen Elliot, as you requested.
- Thank you.
Hi.
- Hello.
Lucy.
What would you like to do?
Perhaps a massage?
This is my first time. I was hoping
maybe we could talk first.
Do you think we could do this after lunch?
Whats the matter,
cant talk on an empty stomach?
No, its not that.
- Its my hair, isn't it?
What?
- Its my hair. You can say.
I can see it. Its limp. Its stringy.
Its not hanging right.
No, not at all. You're very nice, Lucy.
Its just, well, the race is about to start.
Oh, that rollerblading thing.
Yes, I hear the announcements.
Lucky me.
I get the room right next to the gong.
I wanted to enter that race.
Oh, really? Did you hear first prize?
You get to spend time with Mistress Lisa.
Yeah, I want that privilege.
You got a crush?
- We just got to know each other a little.
You have a big crush.
It sounds pretty corny.
- What?
Just relax, breathe, pretend I'm Oprah.
Come on, you can tell me.
Okay.
Have you ever been with somebody
that actually made violin music...
...play in your head?
Skinny girls hear violins.
Not-so-skinny girls hear French horns.
I know what you mean.
Did you tell her?
- I wish I could.
That's the problem, I cant.
I don't know how.
I cant get close to her.
She wont talk to me.
That's tough. You know, scary.
You tell someone,
you don't know what they'll say.
Once a year, I go to the Grand Canyon.
I scream, I like you, just so
I can hear back, I like you, I like you.
Attention skaters.
Last call for the Rollerblade race.
Go on, get out of here.
I promise III come back.
- All right.
Here, hold this.
Hey, Elliot?
- Yeah?
I hear you're a photographer.
- Yeah.
Think you can take some pictures for me?
No, they took my camera away from me
and stuck it in storage with my other stuff.
I don't know where it is.
Really? Has anyone else requested you?
- No, I've been on work detail.
Just curious. Go ahead. You're late.
Thank you.
- Hey, Elliot?
Be careful out there.
- Your hair is just fine.
You think?
A guy takes off his pants
to leave my room.
Skaters, take your places.
On your marks.
Get set.
- Wait!
And they're off.
What the hell was that?
- Hey, wait! You forgot your number!
The race turned out to be
the turning point in the investigation.
Go, Elliot!
Slater was out there
for all the world to see, including Omar.
Come on!
Fred was supposed to cover the event,
but he had to feed the fish.
If you ask me, they feed those fish
too much. Those are chubby koi.
Elliot was no Olympic skater,
but he gave it his all.
Yes!
He won.
The winner is Citizen...
- Citizen Elliot.
Citizen Elliot. His number
must have been torn off from passion.
Here's your number.
Its my lucky number.
Riba, I'm sorry.
- Its okay.
Are you ready for us?
Do you wanna do a threesome?
Well, not really.
Watching you two will be such a joy.
My names Tillington, from Guilford.
Congratulations on the race.
You were very good.
Thank you.
Mistress Lisa...
After the race, Omar made his move.
And lucky for us, so did Mistress Lisa.
I think it would be a good idea.
- Good.
I'm sorry. I cant allow this.
We don't permit voyeurism.
But that's my fantasy.
Citizen Elliot hasn't completed his training.
Send him to his quarters.
- I don't mind if he hasn't finished.
Now, Richard.
- Citizens quarters.
Lets go, Citizen Elliot.
- I'm sorry, Mr...
Tillington, from Guilford.
- From Guilford, that's right.
I'm sure Kitty can find many ways
to please you.
Yeah, lets go get Citizen Joy.
Shes really pretty, and shes got peanuts.
I don't want peanuts.
Do you have a problem with that, Richard?
- No, Mistress.
If I may...
You may not.
Since when don't we permit voyeurism?
Since Mistress Lisa started to get soft
on a citizen.
We should give Elliot to a harsher guest.
Come in.
I'm sorry. Were not going to be able to
grant your request.
Elliot Slater is with another guest.
With who?
- Mrs. Randy.
Sorry. Maybe tomorrow.
Come in.
Mrs. Randy,
Citizen Elliot is here for your pleasure.
I guess I'm your fantasy.
Quiet. Down on your knees.
Kiss my thigh.
Come on.
God, you're so boring.
Cant you do anything right?
Now, turn around.
Were going to play a game,
a question game.
And the question game has
only one question.
Where is the camera?
- Hello?
Is Elliot Slater...
What are you doing with him?
Anything I like. Do you mind?
- As a matter of fact, I do.
You see, I have a 2:30 appointment
with him. Hes mine.
I got all dressed up in this outfit--
- Spare me the details.
Get out of my room.
Do you have a confirmation?
A confirmation?
- Yes, a confirmation.
No, I wasn't given one.
Well, guess what? I was.
Your loss. Get with the program.
You, with me, now.
Get up. Take off the robe.
I like that thong thing. Walk tall.
Tell me I look gorgeous from behind.
You blew it again,
and this time you weren't even sneezing.
You could have helped.
- No, you do the killing, I do the thinking.
Now what?
You stay here, and you wait.
I know that New York girl.
I know that sound.
Whats going on?
- Listen, I'm not a dental hygienist.
My name is not Lucy Smith.
I did not come to this island to have fun.
I came to this island for one reason.
Elliot.
- Yeah?
You are to go on work detail now.
- No. Hey!
Mistress Lisa's orders
supersede everything.
Andre will be happy
to find you a replacement.
Well, I don't want a replacement!
I would like Elliot!
Hey, Skin and Bones! You, Toothpick Girl!
How can I fulfill your fantasy?
Go paint my house.
This fruit plate will be better for you.
- Thanks.
Now, that's an outfit to crawl for.
May I do my specialty?
No, I don't feel like having my toes
sucked right now.
You sure?
- Yes, I am.
Listen--
- May I feed you?
No, you can answer
a question for me, though.
If I wanted to find out where
Citizen Elliot was, how would I go about it?
Are you gonna replace me?
No, never.
Then, why?
I just need to talk to him.
Can you go get him for me?
Right away.
- Yes, thank you.
You know, its a lot quicker if you walk.
Look at this, he took out the seeds.
Mistress!
Here are his bags.
Tommy brought them from storage.
- Look at the way he packs.
Hes changing his clothes. He thinks this is
his special meeting for winning the race.
I made a fool of myself at that race...
...hopping off my horse
like some jealous birdbrain.
Why didn't you stop me?
- I'm only a citizen.
I've trained hundreds of men and women.
I've created fantasies for them.
I've gotten them in touch with
their deepest feelings.
How come this photographers
gotten to me?
I'm only a citizen.
- Will you stop saying that?
You've watched me train, you're smart,
you're going to be a trainer yourself.
So tell me, what do you think?
Maybe this Elliot opened up
your feelings a little bit.
I don't want to hear that.
- Sorry.
Mistress Lisa?
I finally get to spend some time with you...
...alone?
Why are my bags here? Am I moving in?
I have a very important job here...
...that I like, and I'm good at it.
And you have become
a disruptive influence.
Its my fault as much as it is yours.
So, I'm afraid you have to leave Eden.
Here's your money back.
Diana will make arrangements
for you to get home.
Have a good trip.
Excuse me.
What happened between last night
and this morning?
Last night, you had a wonderful bondage
fantasy and I helped you accept it.
That's what we do here.
It wasn't real.
- Yes, but afterwards.
I'm a professional, and I let it get
personal, and that's why you have to leave.
One condition: you come with me.
I cant do that.
- Come on, I won the race.
You owe me time. Come with me.
We can go away for a weekend.
I have money.
- Elliot...
Diana says you love the South.
We can go to New Orleans.
You like New Orleans.
- I don't have time.
And I'm not interested
in relationship stuff.
Its not serious.
We can stay in separate rooms.
We just have fun.
We go away, we have fun,
and we see if you and I are real.
I cant believe
you want to deny what we feel.
You're so sweet.
Sweet?
- Yeah.
She says I'm sweet.
Sweet means III end up
in New Orleans alone, listening to a banjo.
All right, III think about it.
Okay.
We are going.
Diana?
I just brought Elliot's luggage to Mistress
Lisa. That means hes being sent away.
Sent away where?
- I don't know. Only she would know.
But if you're looking for two guys,
Citizen Lars is available.
Actually, no!
It's my dream just to make you happy.
Yeah, you and every man.
I really have to see Mistress Lisa.
That's my thigh there, Tom.
No, my breasts.
Okay, listen, why don't you take a shower?
How about that?
Maybe do some pushups, who knows?
Fix the room. It could use a little Spackle.
Don't you think?
Got to run. Love to stay and talk.
Ill be back before you can say fetish.
I hate these garters.
You like this?
Are you enjoying your stay on the island?
You know, the secrets to get involved,
to get with the program.
This better be important.
Is your mistress here?
- What?
Is your mistress here?
- No. She went to see Mistress Lisa.
Alone?
- Yes.
Take care of the get-with-the-program
girl, III go find our photographer.
Ill meet you out by the golf cart.
Pleasure to meet you.
That was nice.
This better be important. I'm a busy man.
Mistress Lisa took a cart.
So?
- She was with Citizen Elliot.
They had luggage,
they talked about New Orleans...
...they went toward her plane.
The whereabouts of Mistress Lisa
is privileged information.
Is that so? I'm a cop. LAPD.
Where is she?
She and Citizen Elliot left the island.
Whats wrong?
Nothing yet. Can you do me a favor?
Can you go get that new maintenance man,
that Marv...
Greenway. Utica, New York.
- Right.
Absolutely.
- Thank you very much.
Here we go.
Bingo.
Get off of me!
Whoa! Pardonnez-moi!
Shes trying to kill me, you idiot!
Cuff her!
- I don't have any cuffs!
The only two people on this island
without handcuffs!
Let me go!
- Wheres Slater?
He left with Lisa. No sign of Omar.
Tie her up.
Nina Blackstone...
Are you gonna tell us
where your partner is?
I don't know what you're talking about.
I'm a guest here.
Right. Listen to me!
Don't bite him!
- Let me go! You've made a mistake!
You're under arrest.
Read her her rights.
- You have the right to remain silent.
Anything you say will be used against you.
- Stop it!
Keep your toes down!
- No!
No?
- No.
Now, that is something
I would not have been capable of.
My deductions are saying
Omar is still on this rock.
But we still don't know what he looks like.
Yes, Id like to put a person-to-person call
through to New Orleans, please.
Will you stop a minute?
I'm trying to talk business.
We take him out on the Avenue tonight.
We all point to him and say,
Hey, there's Tom Cruise!
He sells his autograph,
and we split the money.
He doesn't look like Tom Cruise.
- My wife thinks he looks like Tom Cruise.
Speak.
- Latte?
Yeah.
- Omar.
Mr. Omar, how you doing?
My dad gets out on parole in four months.
I'm driving his cab.
- That's nice. You give him my best wishes.
I have to go to New Orleans
for a couple of days. I need a favor.
You coming here? Great!
While we were turning Nina
over to the San Diego Police...
...Omar was making plans
to go kill Slater himself.
He hired a street-band musician,
Latte Chavez, to help until he arrived.
All right, lets go to work.
- I know who it is. He looks like Brad Pitt.
He doesn't look like Brad Pitt either.
Brad Pitt? He looks like Tom Cruise!
You're an awful lot of fun to be with.
I can be fun.
I just get paid to be mean.
Subjects A and B landed
in a white, twin-engine Cessna 421...
...changed clothes
at the River Terrace Hotel...
...and went immediately to Bourbon Street
with the rest of the yahoos.
Latte out.
Its Tom Cruise.
- Its not.
It is.
- Its not.
I swear it is.
- That's Brad Pitt.
No, it is not!
- It is.
They're on foot.
I've switched to a rented car...
...a sweet Beemer.
What do I like to do best in bed?
I like to giggle.
- Giggle?
Cuddle and giggle.
After a hard day of smacking people,
its nice to cuddle.
Cuddle?
You mean, just cuddle?
The next morning, an island-hopping
food-supply plane left Eden.
Stashed among the food was
a Mr. Tillington of Guilford.
A credit-card check found Lisa and Elliot
at a hotel in New Orleans.
We were on our way,
racking up the frequent-flyer miles.
Come on, slowpoke, get dressed.
Its a beautiful day outside,
and were going to have some fun.
What do you have there? I'm starving.
Croissants from the French Quarter.
I don't need butter with my...
Now, pay attention.
This is an old Australian recipe.
Thank you.
One stick of butter...
...at room temperature.
Did you see Last Tango in Paris?
No.
And a sprinkle...
...of cinnamon.
Australian kink.
Bon appetit.
Excuse me.
I'm sorry.
Yes?
Mistress Lisa, this is Richard.
While you were kidnapping a guest,
all hell broke loose here.
I understand. I got it.
- Did you know what Mrs.--
Who was that?
Richard.
Quite a mood breaker.
He thinks I kidnapped you.
He what?
I broke my own rule,
taking you off the island.
So are you going back?
- I have to. I'm the boss.
If I'm the boss, why do I have to go?
I always wanted to go see New Orleans.
I'm here right now!
I don't know what I'm doing.
And I'm whining.
Come on.
Where are we going?
- That's a surprise.
This is one of our loveliest
antebellum mansions in the area.
Antebellum means anything...
...that was before
the War of Northern Aggression.
Please, come right on in.
Yall watch your step, now. Be careful.
And yes, you can take photographs in here.
I always wanted to come here.
- Why?
My mother was born in New Orleans.
Speak.
- Latte, I'm here!
What took you so long?
Now, yall can buy your souvenirs from the
souvenir stand over there after the tour.
This is the famous Beauregard staircase.
Unfortunately, the second floor isn't
open to us because of renovations...
...but I'm sure well all be more than
satisfied with the family heirlooms...
...were fixin' to see downstairs.
Fred and I arrived in New Orleans...
...and found a guy in the Big Easy
who really wasn't that easy.
Why are you busting our chops?
Ill tell ya. I hate cops an awful lot.
- I'm gonna kill him.
And it doesn't matter that this is
a life-and-death issue?
Nope.
Do you want us to bribe you with money?
Nope.
You want to see me naked?
- Now, that's an idea.
What do you think, Fred?
I think that's a US Code violation,
Section 616, Subparagraph 5A.
What would that be?
- Sexual Harassment of a Peace Officer.
Exactly what I thought.
- Okay, you win.
She bought tour tickets:
plantation, mansion, wanted to see Tara.
Come on, I dare you.
Yall follow me back to the gardens...
...where well view
the jasmine-covered gazebo.
Watch your step, now.
Flagstone is slippery.
Look.
Its a beautiful...
...bedroom.
I just thought it would be great to...
...be alone in a traditional
Southern bedroom with...
No equipment.
Just us.
No party tricks.
You okay with that?
This lovely garden
and charming tennis court...
...was the site
of Mr. Beauregard's wedding...
...to the exquisite Miss Ophelia Prescott.
One of the most extravagant nuptials
for the period...
...it epitomized the Romantic Era.
You okay?
Yeah, its...
I feel a little awkward in this position.
Just relax.
At 3:45, a tourist spotted a man
fitting Omar's description...
...outside the Beauregard Mansion.
He was dressed to kill.
Every time you want a job done properly,
you have to do it yourself.
Omar was running out of time,
and he was running out of accents.
Hi, I wonder if you could help me.
Hi, I wonder if you could help me.
Did you see a young couple
come in here a while back?
Shes very pretty, reddish-brown hair.
Shes my cousin Annabelle
and her boyfriend.
Perhaps if you bought a fan.
Sure, III buy a fan. Ill have that one.
We have to leave this place
exactly how we found it.
Yeah, sure.
This should be it.
Excuse me.
Mr. Tillington, what are you doing here?
Actually, I'm here to take
Mr. Slaters camera and all his film.
Why?
You were unfortunate enough
to take a rare photograph of me.
In fact, the only photograph taken of me
since the third grade.
The guy at the baggage claim!
The camera.
Go downstairs, Lisa.
- You sit still.
The camera.
There's the tour.
- Yeah.
The camera!
Take this side?
- You bet!
Police!
Look, they're reenacting something.
Police! Out of the way!
Look, that woman has a gun.
Is she on our tour?
Hold it!
I didn't. I swear, I couldn't.
Sorry I'm late.
I got hung up on the wisteria.
Police! You okay?
- Yeah.
Sheila, duck!
Reenactment, my ass!
Partner!
You look like Eva Marie Saint.
God, Fred, you're good.
LAPD! Hi!
Were tourists here, too!
Were really enjoying Louisiana!
We love New Orleans! Who dat?
Omar survived the fall with
two broken legs, two gunshot wounds...
...and he's now in traction.
His photograph was
in over 65 newspapers, in color.
Summers. Who's Summers?
Home with Mom and Dad like you?
- Get out of there!
You say he was trying to steal your purse?
- He did take my purse.
And when you wouldn't give it to him,
he punched you.
And when I was laying on the floor,
he took my wallet and my keys.
Did you get a good look at him?
- Of course I did! It was my husband!
Why are you still with him?
Everything is in his name: the house,
the car. Where am I supposed to live?
How will I survive?
- I don't know how you survived this long.
Its your fourth time this month.
Stop letting this man control your life.
You okay, lady?
But I don't even know if you can tell
its Omar. I was shooting blind.
Well develop it and let you know.
Thanks for all your help, okay?
Hes all yours.
- Id like to take that statement.
Okay.
- Miss Emerson, you all right?
Yes, I would like to go.
- Sure.
Ill do my statement. It wont take long.
- I want to go back to the hotel.
Listen, well just be down the hall.
You can ask for the squad room. All right?
Come on, Fred.
Fred, come on.
Why?
- Come on, Fred!
You know, you've gotten real bossy
since that damn island.
You okay?
- Just tired.
I thought I was going to lose you.
I love you, Lisa Emerson.
I really need to get out of this building.
- Okay.
Ill meet you back at the hotel,
soon as I can.
Taxi!
Sheila, hi.
Bonnie, how are you?
- Great.
If you see Fred, would you tell him
I'm double-parked outside?
I sure will.
Thanks.
You're welcome.
See you.
Nice seeing you...
...Bonnie.
Bye, thanks for your help.
I got that stuff faxed,
so I'm ready to take off.
Your ex-wife is here.
Shes outside.
What is she doing in New Orleans?
I flew her in for the weekend.
Were actually talking about maybe
taking a shot at putting it back together.
That's nice.
See you in the office on Monday.
Nice job, partner.
Were both good.
Thanks.
Why are we pretending
that your bag isn't buzzing?
You bought a vibrator!
- Just a razor.
Fred got a vibrator!
- Just a little...
I knew it! Yes, you did!
I cant believe you!
Did you get it on the island?
- Yes.
They had a discount for employees.
Its for Bonnie.
See you back in LA, partner.
- All right.
I'm ovulating.
An egg was just released
into my Fallopian tube.
Another one just dropped.
Its in my uterus.
I love that guy.
Hello?
Hello, Mr. Slater.
- Oh, it's you.
Try to control your excitement.
You left your broken camera
here at the station.
You can send it over to me.
She left?
- How'd you know?
I can hear it in your voice. I'm sorry.
She left a note.
She went back to the island.
I have to go to the island tomorrow.
They found your film. If you want to
hop a ride with me, III see what I can do.
I didn't hear what you said. Did you
say... Could you hold on a second?
I am on the phone here.
Sugar, calm down.
You're gonna have yourself a heart attack.
Sugar, calm down.
Hello?
Sugar, he hung up!
Mistress Lisa!
There's a visitor here to see you.
Here's the film.
- Thank you very much.
Thank you for saving my life.
- Got a minute?
Sure.
This is none of my business,
and you can tell me to butt out.
Elliot told me what happened.
Butt out.
You two seemed to have
something special.
You said I could tell you to butt out.
I said you could tell me.
I didn't say that I would do it.
You think I came all this way
just to get the film?
Haven't you heard of Federal Express?
Why did you come?
I wanted to talk to you about Elliot.
There's nothing to talk about.
Lisa, listen to me.
Lisa, Miss, Madam, Dominatrix...
- Wait, you listen to me.
You saw those women at the station?
Sure, I saw.
You know what they all had in common?
They all gave up control.
Come on, you cant run your life from a
couple of poor souls down at a precinct.
I know a lot of women
involved in healthy relationships.
You're kind of corny for a cop.
Listen, I've had my share
of bad times with men, okay?
Some are assholes, Elliot is not.
If we don't cultivate the good ones,
there aren't gonna be any.
I'm sorry, I have to go.
For what its worth, Elliot told me to
tell you there's an old Australian saying:
It ain't over till the fat kangaroo sings.
Bye, Mistress Lisa.
I'm going to take a nap.
I don't want to be disturbed.
Why are you smiling?
- No reason at all.
You look...
I came back to get down on one knee
and propose.
But it seems overdone,
so I thought Id try it this way.
Will you marry me?
You mean, like, leave here,
meet your parents...
...buy a condo, holidays?
You want me to cook?
No, our marriage, love...
...family, fantasy, erotic,
whatever we decide.
Can you help me?
Diana tied this a little too tight.
Babies and bondage, I could do both?
- Yeah.
Id love to say, My wife is a dominatrix.
I could just see myself at the kids school
on career day.
I left New Orleans because--
- I don't want to know.
I'm gonna love you forever.
Even if I'm scared?
- Even if you're petrified.
Ill see you on the plane.
I loved all the citizens: Art, Shawn--
- Thank you so much, really.
Sheila Kingston. Thank you.
Sheila.
I was ready to catch the boat.
I wanted to say good-bye.
You look really good in clothes.
What happened to your hand?
- Nothing.
I didn't recognize you
without your thong and chains.
Did you get fired?
- No, I don't work here.
I come here a couple of times a year
just for a little fun and relaxation.
Sure, I see.
One of my factories is in Los Angeles...
...where I hear you're with the police.
- Yes, I am.
I wonder if maybe
we could have dinner sometime?
Really?
- Yeah.
I don't know.
I never really thought about it.
Take my card.
You're a CEO.
Yes, I am.
This is the final boarding call.
- I have to go catch the plane.
You look great.
- You look great.
Bye.
- Ill see you.
Bye.
Bye.
Did you see that?
- C'est I'amour de jeunesse.
Au revoir. Croissant.
You know, I have always had this fantasy...
...about being with a kind man.
With an incredible derri e re.
So, I'm a matchmaker.
Lisa and Elliot are getting married
on July 4.
To send a present, they're registered
at Tiffany's in the leather department.
Nina Blackstone is serving time in prison.
I hear she calls the bingo game
every Friday night:
"B-14."
"N-21."
Omar got three life sentences,
and with our parole system...
...will probably be out in three months.
I'm on my second date
with CEO Tommy Miller.
He helped my fantasies
come true last Saturday...
...by sending over four men
who painted my house.
What did I learn from this case?
No matter what your sexual preference,
true love is still the ultimate fantasy.
l-14.
B-6.
G-Whiz.
Listen, all of you people out there...
...don't kill anyone.
Prison stinks.