Expired (2011) Movie Script

Baby, what are you doing in there?
You mind your own, you fucking leechy bitch.
Always taking away my thingies, following me around...
Stop looking already. Your giving me a headache.
Shut up. You just mind your own you leachy fucking bitch.
I know theres something here...
Baby stop looking around in there.
Theres nothing left.
What? Fuck you.
I know what you like.
I know how to relax you.
I know how to put this on.
I swear I put one in there.
Oh, baby, what the fuck are you doing?
Come on, I don't have any time for that kind
of shit right now.
Oh, what?
Oh no, no, come on, baby, I'm not - I'm not
in the, in the mood for this, mean it's like
a fucking tortoise, you know what I mean?
Oh God, okay baby...
Oh, come on get away from me, man!
Are you fucking serious?
Fucking lay down!
And don't fucking look for anything, okay?
I know you're always taking my thingies...
Call me.
Theme Tune.
What's going on?
What you writing there, buddy?
It's a ticket.
I just parked my car.
Yeah, yeah, you know, everybody says that.
Never fails!
It's the same fucking excuse, you know, every
No, really.
I just pulled up.
I just parked my car.
Yeah, well really, this time, I just didn't
see that, so you're getting a ticket.
This is bullshit...
This is bullshit.
All right, well how much is a ticket?
Sixty dollars.
That's ridiculous.
Pay your meter, then!
If it's fucking ridiculous.
Well, do you think this -- this time you
could maybe give me a break?
Yeah, just give me thirty dollars cash, and I won't
write you the sisty dollar ticket.
Thirty bucks?
All right, ticket it is, then.
No, no...
Okay, all right, look...
All right, hurry up!
Here, thirty dollars.
Come on, just give it to me.
Pay your meter, next time.
You don't want hassle!
Yes, sir...
Did you see that?
I don't know what you're talking about.
I think that crackhead just took my money.
Jesus, man!
Oh, sorry man, didn't see you there!
That shit keeps happening to me all day today.
Hey, is this your car?
You all right?
Yeah, yeah, I'm okay man.
You okay?
Get a fucking car!
What the fuck?
Excuse me...
Hey, excuse me...
Can I help you with something?
You're getting a ticket.
Your meter, man.
Yeah, look, I'm really sorry...
I was only a few minutes at my charity, so...
I was at my charity...
You're getting a ticket.
Are you okay?
Am I o-okay?
It's sixty dollars, man!
You want a ticket?
No, I don't want a ticket...
Thirty bucks.
Excuse me?
Give me thirty dollars cash and I won't give you a
Are you dense?!
No, I, no, I...
It's sunk in, I think, it's thirty dollars a ticket,
yeah, okay...
Thirty dollars, you say?
Yeah, yeah, thirty man, thirty...
You have a g-good day, man.
Excuse me!
I said, excuse me!
Stop walking!
Violent intoxication!
Busted lip for crying eyes!
Pay your fucking meter!
You're just losing it, man.
Hey, move your fucking car!
We're gonna get more drugs.
Get my fucking drugs!
Horses in the hay...
Horses in the hay...
Horses in the hay...
Come on!
It's Jerry, man!
Come, come in...
Nice robe, man!
I mean, I feel like a ripe bag of shit...
Nice to see you, man.
Hi, you look good.
Would you like to stay for some tea or...
Want to watch some gosspel?
What the fuck?
No, man!
No, I just -- I just need my stuff, look...
I just need my stuff.
You should relax...
Let's move a little slower.
It's been a long five days, man.
I've been up at like five, days, and I'm
working all day.
Man, I'm exhausted.
Mr Happy has your stuff.
You got the cure, man.
I feel like a piece of shit.
That is a nice robe, man!
Thank you.
Thank you.
Music Playing
Would you like a magical gummy fit for a king?
A magical gummy?
Why, yes, I would.
There you go...
How you like that?
I'm gonna bake you a special cake full of
all of your favourite ingredients.
Go thither.
Bake me a cake.
That's for later.
Oh, I do so love needles.
Merry Christmas.
Have you been a good boy this year?
Yeah, I've been a good boy!
Good boys get presents.
Presents for the good boy!
I'll see you next year.
Bye Santa Claus!
Well, hello, there.
Kiss the king.
Would you like some of my home-made Coke nog?
It's a very ecial holiday batch!
Just came in from the North Pole.
Coke nog?
North Pole.
Why the fuck not.
Isn't it delicious?
What the fuck, man?
Oh, I need help.
I need some fucking help!
No, you're gonna be okay...
You're gonna be okay, man.
Yeah, just fucking pick yourself up, go down
- go down there and just do - do your job
again and...
Get yourself into a fucking rehab.
This is fucking pathetic, man.
You're gonna be okay...
You're gonna be okay...
I'm gonna be okay!
I'm gonna be okay...
Come on, fail...
I'm just leaving, man.
Don't worry about it.
Oh, eh!
I'm just leaving man!
No, you're getting a ticket.
I just picked up food, man!
Come on...
Listen, I said I'm leaving.
You can stop writing the ticket, okay?
Well, if you're leaving, you should have
paid your meter.
Listen, asshole, I suggest you put that away
before I beat you to death with it.
G- gimme thirty dollars cash and I won't write you the
Break it up!
Break it up here!
What the fuck!
What seems to be going on, fellas?
This asshole is trying to...
Excuse me, sir?
This fucking freakjob's trying to give me
a ticket.
I was in there two seconds!
Did you pay your meter, sir?
Yeah, did you pay your fucking meter?
Shut up!
No, I didn't.
But it was two seconds.
I was...
You know what the charge is for assaulting
a civil servant?
I'm sorry, officer.
Could bust your ass for this.
I think you should apologise to this man and
be on your way.
I'm sorry.
It's cool.
Just pay your meter next time.
Hey, shut up.
Hey, whoa whoa whoa...
Why don't you follow me for a second, buddy.
No, I got a job to do.
No, no, this will only take a minute...
I gotta get a pen...
No, no, come on, come on...
Go right over here.
Where are we going?
Oh shit...
I really, really have to go, man.
No, this will only take a minute, sir.
What are we -- what are we doing?
Why were you running from me yesterday?
Oh, that was you?
Yes, that was me!
Do you know what the charge is for impersonating
a meter maid?
Ripping people off?
Yeah, I know what the fucking charge is, man.
I'm fucked.
I can see you're not well.
I'm not well.
This is what I'm gonna do.
I'm gonna let you go today.
If I ever catch you back here again, I'm
gonna bust your ass.
Do you understand me, sir?
Oh, yeah, I gotcha, man.
Hold on a second, here.
Give me your money.
No, no man...
Man, I was -- I was gonna use this to get
some help.
I think the people who you robbed yesterday
would like theirs back.
Don't you, pal?
Yeah, yeah...
Fork it over.
Here, man.
It's all I...
It's all I got.
All right.
Now get out of here, okay?
Yeah, I'm, I'm...
Get well.
Go get some help, now.
I'm going...
Right to St Francis Clinic.
Hello. Mr Happy here.
Theme Tune.