F*&% the Prom (2017) Movie Script
[Ken] Dude,
first day of high school.
Oh, you are so lucky.
What I'd give to go back
and do it all again,
exactly the same way.
Star quarterback,
- prom king...
- Prom king.
[both]
Class vice-president.
All the glory, none of
the responsibility.
I know, Dad. I've heard it
a thousand times.
Remember what I told you.
Be popular.
It's the best.
Check. Whatever.
Don't forget that.
[sighs]
See you tonight.
[upbeat music playing]
Ready?
As I'll ever be.
[Ken] Cole.
Stop trying to peek at
Maddy's nipples.
Oh, my God! Dad!
[sighs] Sorry about that.
He doesn't know
he's an adult.
[chuckles]
You wanna race?
Nah. Not today.
Afraid you'll lose?
Ha!
Yeah, you're right.
'Cause I mean, boys are just
so much faster and stronger.
And total suckers.
Thanks for the headstart.
Oh, shit.
Incoming freshman
Maddy Dadner
is on point to finally beat
her arch rival Cole Reed.
And the crowd goes wild.
I don't want people to think
I'm a loser.
Worse case
you always have me.
At school and next door.
- True.
- Oh, hey. Hold on.
[Maddy] Whoa!
Thanks.
But, uh, do you really think
high school's gonna be
all that different
from middle school?
Probably not.
It's all the same kids we've
known since kindergarten.
How much could people really
change in three months?
Go on, I'll meet you
at class.
Oh, okay.
What's up, bro!
[students laughing]
[girl] Look at those
tighty whiteys.
Nice to meet you, tiny.
Guess who got
a new nickname.
[school bell ringing]
[boy]
What's up, Tighty?
Ooh, Tighty.
Fantastic, baby.
Keeping it clean, Tighty?
[girl] Hey, Tighty.
You think you're fooling people
with those headphones,
but I know you've been
listening and keeping track
of how many times
you've been called Tighty,
because you're totally lame and
obsessed with your shitty nickname.
Good morning, City.
The only thing
"good" about this morning
is that it's one day closer
to graduation.
Oh, no.
You are an inspiration.
The M&Ms are goddesses.
The M&Ms are called that because their
first names are Maddy and Marissa,
which starts with an "M".
Sup, Stuffs?
Come on, Maddy. G2G.
It's Stufts, with a "T".
Not "stuffs".
Why do you even
try anymore.
You know they don't
listen to you.
It's the principle
of the thing.
[inspiring music]
Principal Statszill here.
Welcoming all you
sexy young things
back from spring break.
Prom is just
around the corner.
Don't wait to find a date.
The last thing you want is to squander
the greatest night of your young life
on some third tier loser
from AP Cal.
So consider this your
official "save the date"
for May 17th,
the night of the big "P".
Prom, that is.
Good day.
[inspiring music]
Alrighty, then.
Group study time.
Pair up, pair, up, pair up.
Tig. [coughs]
[students] Tig. Tig.
[students fake coughing]
Eat a bowl of dicks!
Could you please focus on
something other than
making your peers
hate themselves?
Now go ahead and
take out your phones
and use them in ways your parents
and I will never understand.
Well, what do we have...
Come on!
You can't hide your drawings
from me forever.
Only until they're finished.
When's that? 2047?
May 17th.
The art school I've applied to
is hosting a gallery night,
and that's where I'll
show my drawings.
That is the best
news ever.
Thank you for officially giving
me a reason to miss prom.
Hey, guess what I'm doing
on May 17th.
Um, nobody cares.
I'm going to Cole's art show
and everyone else
can suck it.
Freak.
Oh. What do we have here?
Cole on Instagram.
And where is he at?
Oh, of course.
Maddy Dadner's feed.
It's just for inspiration.
From Maddy's feed?
Why can't you pick one of the other
16 billion girls on Instagram?
Come on. Everyone is
on her feed.
Did you guys see Maddy's
eyebrows from last weekend?
Oh! On fleek.
There's a very
specific reason
why she has the most followers
in the entire school.
Because no one's monitoring
pervy old dudes
who don't want to
pay for porn.
Sad but true.
But it is also
because of her hair.
Every day
since freshman year,
Maddy's had
a different hairstyle
and posted a photo
of every single one.
Stalker.
Even you can't resist
the M&M's.
The M&M's are
an inspiration.
The M&M's are goddesses.
- The M&M's are...
- Not even here right now.
What is wrong with
all of you?
[scoffs] Like you're innocent.
I know you still talk to
Maddy sometimes.
Yeah.
And I self loathe for it.
I look at myself
in the mirror and say,
"Stupid bitch,
she stole your boyfriend."
I am running up
lines for a play.
Oh. Oh, yeah.
I know that play, okay?
I live that play.
[school bell ringing]
[Principal Statszill over pa] Charles
Adams may not have been accepted by
his presidential
father, John,
but you can find acceptance
by fitting in.
Tighty and Stuffs.
That's a match
made in heaven.
It's "Stufts" with a "T".
Idiot.
[clapping]
Hi, Maddy.
Oh, my God. Your hair
looks great today, Maddy.
I can't believe we
used to be friends with them.
Wish I'd never met
a single one of them.
In a way I used to be them,
so there is a one.
Easy with the riddles,
Master Baggins.
Actually, if you were
still a "them",
we wouldn't be friends.
Can we please not bring up the incident
that brought us together, Tighty?
We've rehashed that one
enough to make a breakfast.
And a second breakfast.
- Or elevenses.
- You need to stop that.
What do you think
about this one?
I feel like it captures
the essence of high school.
Sports, winning,
Kane and I.
IDK.
Well, what about...
this one?
Shouldn't we use photos
of, like, the whole squad,
not just you and Kane?
Well, sure.
But we discussed having
an aspirational power couple
pic of Kane and I.
I just have to find
the best one.
Why don't we just do
a collage of your hair pics
and call it a day?
Marissa, are you riled?
No.
But if you could stop being
a selfish pigeon for one sec,
that would be great.
Did you just call me
a pidge?
So what if I did?
How dare you?
Come on. You know I would
never betray you like that.
Go with the football pic.
It's more iconic.
Like a Taylor Swift song.
Oh, you're so right.
Now onto the group shots.
I'm going to the ladies' room.
Be right back
Wow.
What?
Marissa, I'm so impressed.
No abbreviation.
Laughing out loud.
[cell phone buzzing]
[gasps]
She needs to take this.
Hey, M, you forgot your...
You pidge!
Maddy, it's not what
it looks like.
So it's not my boyfriend
and best friend making out,
but rather some optical
illusion of that?
Well, if you believe that,
then, yes.
Oh, my God.
You? I can't even...
This...
Yeah, Maddy.
You're right.
Oh, fuck it.
It's not what it
looks like.
Mm.
Believe it.
[sobbing softly]
Maddy, what's wrong?
Nothing.
Everything.
Kane didn't do something
without consent, did he?
- What?
- No.
I mean, yeah, he did.
[gasps] Oh, not my baby!
- Oh, gosh!
- Not my baby!
- Call the police.
- It's not like that.
[sighs] Thank God.
Confrontation remains
a challenge for me.
That and dairy.
I hate high school.
I just want it to be over.
Whoa. Really?
But...
Honey, honey. Listen.
I wanna tell you something.
Your father and I,
we can relate.
Our high school years,
they were pretty much
the equivalent of being
locked in
an emotional prison
of constant ridicule
and torture.
Your father got the living
crap kicked out of him
on a daily basis.
And I was called
a greasy headed troll.
Everything happens
for a good reason.
Even though it may feel
horribly humiliating
and punishing and cruel.
At... At the time.
- I don't like it.
- [text message chimes]
I never thought that perfect
popular kids in school
had anything to get
this upset about.
[sighs] Well...
Maybe she's not
that popular.
Oh, no, honey.
Your father didn't mean it.
Honey...
I...
We're bad parents.
Ditto to that.
[alternative rock music playing]
What's up!
Jesus!
Why can't you just
pop your head in
and ask me how my day was,
like any other human father?
So it was lame, huh?
[sighs] No, it was fine.
I'm guessing you still don't
have a date for the prom.
You know my art show
is that night.
Ugh! Art is boring!
Prom is about sex.
Sex is exciting.
Look, I know you're kind
of a weirdo,
and getting laid
before graduation
is kind of a pipe dream.
But...
Maybe there's some
girl out there
who's weird just like you,
that's down to clown
on prom night.
What a classy male
role model I have.
What do you want
from me, Cole?
I was prom king.
I ruled over a night
where dozens of virginities
were laid to rest.
I think I want a DNA test
for my graduation present.
Forget it.
You're stuck with me
for life.
Ugh! Dad, come on!
[door closes]
[Maddy sobbing]
I know
this is inappropriate,
but I bet that girl
is a killer in the sack.
[knocking]
[knocking]
You okay?
I'm fine.
[cell phone vibrating]
[sniffling]
What happened, Maddy?
[sobbing]
Okay.
We don't have to talk.
We can just wait for my dad to shout
something offensive from my house.
It's okay.
It's a good distraction
from the fact that
I've been completely betrayed
by both my ex-bf and my ex-bff.
In a way...
it's not that surprising.
Prom and graduation are
just around the corner,
everyone is losing their minds
trying to create
one last set of picture perfect
memories they can post,
to prove how awesome
their high school
experience was.
You're right.
You know, it's been a while
since we hung out like this.
Does consoling you sobbing
constitute us hanging out?
Do you remember when
we drew those chalk outlines
of ourselves on the front sidewalk
and called the cops as a prank?
[laughs] Yeah.
Do you remember that transmutation
circle I added nearby?
Yeah, I do.
Did you ever
watch Brotherhood?
Oh, God. No.
Was it good?
Doesn't matter.
[cell phone chimes]
I thought he loved me.
You now what?
Screw him.
They are drama absurdity.
And I know you.
I see you at school,
and you are different from
all of the other popular kids.
Then why don't you
ever talk to me?
I could ask you
the same thing.
[cell phone chimes]
Cole, come on,
we're taking a selfie.
What? No.
No, no, no.
Yeah. Come on,
let's go.
Okay, but I've...
never done that before.
Wait...
You're a selfie virgin?
A surgeon?
Yes.
Oh, I am so taking
your selfie virginity.
Smile. Look happy.
[camera shutter
clicking rapidly]
Wait, why are you
taking so many?
"So many"?
I'm just getting started.
I have to take at least 40
before I can post.
What?
You'll get used to it.
What is your Insta,
so I can tag you.
Oh, no.
No, no need for that.
Give me your phone.
Come on, give me.
Wow, did you do these?
Uh, yeah.
My drawing skills
are pathetic.
I don't have any cool
talents whatsoever.
Actually...
I remember something that
you were pretty amazing at.
- [bicycle bell rings]
- The crowd goes wild!
Ah!
All right. You done?
You ready to crown me victor?
[camera clicks]
Perfect.
What happened to
40 pictures?
Moments like this
should be unfiltered.
Oh, p.s.,
you are being followed by
the whole school on Instagram.
What?
Byproduct.
Why did you do that?
I don't want people
seeing my stuff.
Um...
I'm deleting my account.
Very funny, Cole.
[gasps]
Oh, we are so different now.
Maybe you are.
I'm not.
Why did we stop talking?
Really?
You don't remember?
No.
Tighty?
I never called you that.
Yeah, well,
when that happened
that was the beginning
of the end for us.
What's up, bro!
[students laughing]
[whimsical music playing]
How you doing, Tighty?
What you got there?
[girls squealing]
I don't really know
what to say.
Doesn't matter.
What gets me though is that
Kane and I used to be friends.
Well, at least
we're friends again.
We are?
Yeah, we are.
[cell phone chimes]
Damn it!
Why did all of this have to
happen right before prom?
That's it.
What's it?
Prom.
As long as you
go to prom,
your high school experience
won't be a complete bust.
And if you're crowned prom
king or queen,
it's like being told
you win at high school.
Yeah, but sometimes
it's the gay kid,
or the trans-sexual kid,
or the crippled kid.
So that the popular kids
can feel like good people for
allowing it to happen.
I never thought
of it that way.
See, um...
What the popular kids
don't realize
is that most of their awesome
high school experiences
are at the expense
of the unpopular
kids' feelings.
What if we ruined it?
What?
Prom.
You mad, bro?
No, I'm serious.
I mean, don't they deserve it?
I think you're just a little
upset about what happened today.
No, this is my chance to
reject the last four years.
How?
We'll make it a night that
they'll never forget.
We'll do it by
completely destroying it.
I mean, it sounds fun, but...
I already have plans
that night.
Oh.
Hot date, huh?
What's her name?
The art school that
I've applied to
is holding a gallery night for
their prospective students.
Okay.
But come on, Cole.
This is how you win
at high school.
Do it with me.
Fine. I'm in.
Yes!
We're doing this. I can't
believe we're doing this.
You and me,
back together again.
Reality check.
We're gonna need
some help.
No way.
"No way"?
What do you mean "no way"?
You hate them all
worse than I do.
I'm just not
that riled.
Besides, getting revenge
on the popular kids?
That's like bullying
from our side.
So, are you in?
She's involved.
Yeah, not happening.
Hey, Cole.
Hey.
Holy shit, he talked to you.
City, come on.
This is our last chance
to create the memories we
wanna leave high school with.
Hey, you're Cole, right?
I'm so sorry. I was trying to
follow you on Instagram,
but for some reason I cannot
find your account at all.
What's the deal?
I deleted it.
What?
Oh!
Yeah.
Definitely want
no part of this.
City, we're trying
to make a statement.
A statement?
Since when have you spoken up
about anything, you basic bitch?
City, find your chill.
Why?
Because suddenly life isn't
perfect for Little Miss Popular
and now she wants
her revenge?
Why should I
give a shit?
City...
Who! Excuse me, Tighty,
didn't see you there.
Don't call him that.
What is up with you, Maddy?
Taking selfies
with this loser
and not returning my texts?
I almost got desperate
and used my phone...
as a phone...
to like actually call you.
What are you
looking at, Stuffs?
My name is...
You know what?
Forget everything I just said.
I'm in.
[inspiring music]
Principal Statszill here.
Another inspiring day
comes to a close,
here at Charles Adams High.
Whoo!
I've been fielding complaints
from the juniors
about the amount of time I spend
discussing the senior prom.
I say...
Get a senior to take you.
It's only statutory
if you get caught.
Oh, and finals are
right around the corner.
So, uh...
Study, I guess.
[toilet flushing]
Stay away from me.
I came to pee and you were
an unfortunate byproduct.
So gladly.
Marissa, wait.
Yes?
How long has it been going on
between you and Kane?
Depends.
Does sending him nudes
count as the beginning?
Wow.
Typical Marissa.
Yes, yes, yes.
Typical whore Marissa.
Way to slut shame.
He was my boyfriend.
And you were supposed to be
my best friend.
We may be the M&Ms,
but everyone knows
it's all about Maddy.
And her hairstyles, and her
Instagram, and her boyfriend.
None of that is my fault.
What about giving me
an eating disorder
by yelling, "Delete it. Fat."
any time I post
a bikini pic on Instagram?
I was trying to be helpful.
And never tagging me
in any pics of us,
claiming you'll never
do that for anyone,
just so you'll get
more followers.
And then you go
and tag Tighty? WTF?
Oh, enough with
the abbreviating.
Tagging you on Instagram and
hooking up with my boyfriend
are not even in
the same universe.
The BF you wouldn't even
have if it weren't for me.
Stop abbreviating!
You...
Wait, what?
The only reason Kane was in
the gym during cheer practice
and saved you from that
basket toss gone awry,
was because I texted him.
Then with fate's cruel twist,
you landed in his arms.
Your perfect meeting
was an accident.
Not some Disney princess
destiny bullshit.
So why are you
doing this now?
Easy. Prom.
I know how much being
crowned queen means to you.
Which only makes me
want it more.
And being with Kane
equals prom queen, pidge.
Now just reflect
and listen to
my urine hit the water.
[urinating]
I reflected.
My whole life has
been a lie.
Excuse me! [sobbing]
Ready to do this, Dadner?
Hell, yeah.
I feel the fire
And it's gonna be down
All the way to the basement
I'm missing a piece
Of my beating heart
And I need something
To replace it
- How do you do this?
- [camera clicking]
Thirty-nine more.
Here we go.
[camera clicking]
You got just what I need
You're where
I gotta be
I just can't stay away
Baby girl can't stay away
Baby, I'm just like
An addict
You're becoming
A favorite habit
I just can't stay away
Baby girl can't stay away
Oh, baby, I'm just like
An addict
You're becoming
A favorite habit
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Yeah, we're gonna need
more people to pull this off.
Who would wanna
help us?
Every kid you and your
ex-friends ever made fun of.
[rock music playing]
[inaudible dialog]
What's up, big guy?
Not today, you guys.
I got you a pulled
pork sandwich.
No, that's...
You're not gonna believe
what I got for you.
A little hot dog.
My mom packed
you a necklace.
- Wait, no. Please...
- Sausage links.
Oh, look at that.
Fresh ham,
right out the deli.
Hanks are
non-kosher, okay.
How about this one?
Oh!
Could you pick that up
for me, please?
I can't move without it
on my head.
You guys are killing me
right now. Just...
I have to get to class.
Shut up, Strings.
It's called a tzitzit.
Yeah, whatever, Strings.
[both chanting] Strings,
Strings, Strings,
Strings,
Strings, Strings,
Strings,
Strings, Strings...
[chanting continues]
OMG.
You're so sweaty.
It's like your body is
literally crying for help.
I can't believe you're
talking to me.
Not kidding, but the sweat
stain on your back
literally looks like the
United States of America.
I'm posting this.
Sweat that makes up stains
in an abnormal way
is seriously gross.
[students screaming]
[girl] Ew.
You look like a swamp.
Did you jump in the pool?
It's not my fault!
I have a glandular issue.
[students laugh]
"Boo Radley was an outsider.
A recluse who never left
his house, thanks to..."
[all murmuring]
"The terrible rumors
spread about him..."
[boy] ...those titties.
Those were supposed to
be for my boyfriend!
Please stop spreading
them around.
You shared it with them?
Whatever.
You shouldn't have
trusted me.
[students chanting]
Tig, Tig, Tig, Tig!
Tig, Tig, Tig, Tig!
Tig, Tig, Tig, Tig!
Tig, Tig, Tig, Tig!
Tig, Tig, Tig, Tig!
High school is
the God damn worst.
[students continue chanting]
[teacher] Who here
did the reading,
and knows the difference
between DNA and RNA?
Emile?
[high-pitched squawking voice]
The difference is...
Wait, I'm sorry, what?
[phone beeping]
The difference is...
Anyone else?
Yes, Achiva?
[Emile on tape]
The difference is...
He sounds like
a sick parrot.
Squawk, squawk, little bird.
He's such a nerd!
[all laughing]
[students jeering]
[laughing]
[squawking mockingly]
I'll never speak again.
[heartbeat pulsating]
[camera clicks]
- [buzzer rings]
- Whoo!
[students cheering]
Legals! Legals! Legals!
Okay, here's the sich, people,
we are going to destroy prom
for all the a-holes who
destroyed high school for us.
Seriously, who cares
about the stupid prom?
Pretty much
everyone at school,
except for us.
How do we know that
this isn't some
cruel game that
she is playing
to humiliate us later, huh?
I would never do that.
So we're just supposed
to forget
about all the pain your
people put us through
and help you out?
Yeah, no way.
I'm out.
Listen.
Here's something I've
learned the hard way.
Popularity is just some
ridiculous concept
that ruins people's lives.
Truth is,
you're the lucky ones.
I'm envious of
all of you.
An M&M is envious?
- Of us?
- Yes.
Despite being rejected, you all
have stayed true to yourselves.
I've always done everything
in my power to fit in.
And I'll admit my reasons
for doing this are pathetic.
My popular boyfriend leaves
me for my popular best friend.
Big deal, right?
But it's not too late to
correct the errors of my ways.
I don't deserve your trust.
[sighs]
But I do wanna
change things.
Together we can
make a statement.
So what do you say?
I have no idea how we
all understood that, but...
Okay, we're in.
Yes!
Okay, you guys.
Maddy is like the Khaleesi
and Cole us King of the North.
Then what does that
make me?
Brienne, the bad ass
lady knight?
Eh, I'll take it.
[sighs]
- What's up, losers?
- Whoa.
A popular person.
It's okay, guys.
He's one of us.
Your text was cryptic,
City, but...
Now I see.
See what?
Just trying to find
a place to fit in.
Apparently I'm too gay
for the straights,
and too straight
for the gays. But...
maybe with you, Cole.
Somewhere I fit in.
If you help us out, Cole will
blow you, no questions asked.
I what?
Unlike on
the basketball court,
I shall pass.
Sorry, buddy,
no offense, but...
you're just too fat
for me.
But I'm still in.
What's the plan?
We meet away from school,
my place tomorrow.
And I...
Sorry, I just wanted
the last word.
[Principal Statszill over pa] Maddy
Dadner, report to the principal's office.
Maddy Dadner,
principal's office.
Oh! Madeline Dadner.
Oh, Maddy!
Maddy, Maddy! Oh!
Maddy, the model student!
Maddy Miss Popular.
Maddy. Maddy, who reminds
me so much of myself.
Why am I here?
Because of this.
[Maddy]
I'm not sure I follow.
That is a picture of
you and Cole Reed.
So?
Cole Reed is...
weird.
Okay? He's always drawing.
Looking like he belongs in a
hipster version of iCarly.
I mean, he doesn't
even belong to a clique.
Are you trying to tell me who I
can and can't be friends with?
Oh, Maddy.
I just don't want you
squandering your reputation
here at the finish line.
What do you mean?
High school sets
the tone for life.
All right?
Look at me.
Honor Society, yearbook,
and the only freshman ever
to be elected class president.
And captain of
the cheer squad. Whoo!
[laughs]
And where did
that lead me? Hmm?
To becoming the youngest
high school principal
in the history of the state,
right back where
it all began,
here at Charles Adams High.
Whoo!
I don't get how this has
anything to do with me.
The point is...
I didn't throw it all away
in the last minute
by hanging out with...
Well...
Those people.
And what do you mean
by "those people"?
Oh, you know
what I mean.
Not really.
Oh, come on, girl.
You're a smart cookie.
Yeah, and I don't get it.
The losers!
Don't hang out with
the losers.
[exhales dramatically]
Just looking out
for you, hon.
By calling
my friends losers
and printing out
my Instagram feed?
I don't even know
how to do that.
Oh, there's an app
for that.
Why are you even
on my Instagram?
Oh, honey...
If you think
the entire faculty
isn't following
their students online...
then you're cray cray.
Wow.
Think about
what I said, okay?
Selfie time? Hmm?
Maddy?
Maddy!
Oh, this lighting
is great. Maddy!
Maddy, Maddy, Maddy.
Turn around.
Turn around.
Oh, Maddy!
[music plays softly]
So when can I read it?
When it's good enough.
Which may be never.
You're so talented.
Any art school would be
crazy not to take you.
So, yeah.
You're in my room.
So I am.
Oh, it's no big deal.
Not a big deal
at all.
No. I don't really think
it's a big deal.
So, what did Statszill say?
Oh, just enough
for me to know
that I'm 100%
doing the right thing
in ruining the prom.
You are doing
the right thing.
Oh, well...
We are.
Together.
Listen, Cole...
I'm sorry about everything
that's happened
since the first day
of high school.
We've been over this before.
It's fine.
- No.
- Really.
No, it's really not.
We used to hang out
in here all the time.
And I used to sit
right here,
just like this.
Jesus! How many hours
do you think we spent
playing Pokemon in here?
Like a million.
And we talked about how crazy
it would be when we turned 16
and were able to drive.
Prom wasn't even on
our radar back then.
[sighs]
Cole...
I have to honest.
Yeah.
I used to think about prom
even back then.
Wait, are you having second
thoughts about our plan?
I guess I'm just saying...
as much as I wanna
go through with it,
I think part of me just
wishes I could go to prom.
Does that make me
a hypocrite?
Not really.
I think to some degree
we all kinda want to go.
Society, right?
Good.
At least I'm not alone.
What do you say we kick it
old school style?
How so?
Like eat microwave popcorn,
watch some TV?
You said Brotherhood
was good, right?
- Really?
- Yeah.
So the beginning is almost exactly
the same as the original Fullmetal.
- Okay.
- But, uh...
then it takes
this huge turn...
Ooh.
Suspenseful.
You remember it, right?
Refresh my memory.
Gotcha.
Okay, here we go.
Edward and Alphonse Elric,
brothers.
Alchemists.
They got transmutation
circle thing.
They're trying to
bring their mom back.
It all goes wrong.
Alphonse loses
his body.
Edward loses his leg...
[birds chirping]
[cell phone chimes]
[chimes]
Hey, baby.
- Not now.
- WTF.
Come on, Kane, let's
give everyone a show.
Jesus! Would you stop it!
What's your damage?
This was a mistake.
We're done.
What?
Did you see who Maddy
was going to prom with?
Oh, my God.
He's totes hot.
I'm totally voting for them
as prom king and queen.
Me, too.
I dind't see it until now,
but I totally shifted.
[cell phone vibrating]
No lunch today?
Nothing here's kosher.
Wait, you're Jewish, too?
You don't
look like it.
On my mom's side.
My dad's
a struggling Buddhist.
Mm. Interesting.
But, shomer negiah...
What's all
the hollering about?
Um...
I can't touch a girl
even the slightest bit, so...
Unless you're my wife...
we can't.
Oh, no.
I didn't mean...
Well... Never mind.
[sighs]
Oh, how exciting.
Prom king and queen,
right beside us.
Shouldn't we be excited that we're
all technically going to prom now?
[school bell rings]
Wait. Guys, hold on.
I wanna document
this moment.
I'm gonna take a selfie
and tag all of you in it.
Cool!
[camera clicks]
- Sweet.
- Got it.
Hold on. Hold on.
We have to take at least 40 or 50
to make sure we all look good.
[camera clicks rapidly]
[rock music playing]
Hey, Tighty.
Calling me that is not gonna help
you get whatever you want from me.
But I got your attention.
You didn't get my attention as much
as you shoved me a locked closet.
Yeah, but you
didn't fight back.
Marissa,
what do you want?
You, me, prom.
I'm already going
with Maddy.
Ditch tat pidge
and come with me.
Are you high?
A little. But that doesn't
mean I don't mean what I say.
Why do you wanna
go with me?
Your profile is
on the up,
and Kane's is on the down.
If I go with you,
prom queen could be mine.
What makes you think
I would ever go with you
after what
you did to Maddy?
You're an idiot if you think she's
actually going to end up going with you.
Kane wants her back
and Kane gets what he wants.
She'll abandon you and your
loser friends in a heartbeat.
You don't know her
like I do.
I think it's
the other way around.
Besides, she just wants
to go as friends.
On the other hand,
if you go with me,
I'll make it very
worth your while.
Let me take off
those tighty whiteys.
Mm.
Yeah, no.
Wait, which one?
You said yes, and then
you said no.
It's gonna be a pass.
"Pass"? [scoffs]
You can't just pass.
Or shoot the ball,
whatever.
You're not really good with
sports metaphors, are you?
Not really.
[punk music playing]
[Maddy]
Hey, City, wait up.
What is it, Dadner?
Well, I thought we could
have some girl time.
You're shitting me.
What, you don't
do girl time?
Somewhere in there
I know you do.
Oh, great.
Hey, Maddy.
What's up, Stuffs?
My name is Stufts.
It's Stufts, not Stuffs.
And I've nothing more
to say to you.
You really don't wanna
go to prom with me?
Not even slightly.
Why don't you wanna
go with me?
Are you dense?
Because you cheated on me
with my best friend.
It was a mistake, baby.
And now that
you're with Tighty...
I mean Cole.
I realize that I can't stand to throw
away our relationship like this.
Maybe you should have
thought of that
before you had your tongue
hanging out of Marissa's nose.
She sent you that pic?
Never mind. Uh, look.
I fucked up.
All right? And I don't expect
things to go back to normal.
But we have talked
about prom for years.
We have to go together.
Just because you apologize
doesn't mean you get
what you want.
Madeline.
I'm sorry.
All right? Truly.
But please don't let
a single mistake
rob us of our final
memories together.
At the very least
don't embarrass yourself
by making new ones
with the losers at school.
[slow clap]
Nice speech.
You know,
to some of us,
you're the loser.
You know, maybe if I'd kept
dating Stufts all these years,
she'd be less of
an emo asshole.
I'm not emo.
[sighs] Come on, let's go hang
out with Cole and the others.
Wait.
You and Kane?
Oh, come on, you knew.
No, I didn't.
You're the one
he left for me.
Yes, technically, but...
seeing as I don't
really care,
at all, just drop it,
okay?
So when
Marissa said she got
some girl out of the way,
that was you?
- You're that girl?
- Yes, how do you...
not know this?
I mean, you're best friends
with all of the people
who hate me
and call me Stuffs.
I never took
part in it.
I don't even know why
they call you that. Tell me.
Fine.
[girls chatting]
All of the boys have been
talking about
which one of us
has the biggest chest.
That is so judgmental.
Like we can
control our bodies.
I've been stuffing
for, like, two weeks.
I'm getting
so much attention.
[girl] Stuffing?
Toilet paper
in my bra.
It totally sells.
Kane even talked
to me today.
[girl] OMG.
Wait, but isn't he
dating someone?
[Marissa] Yeah, but she's
a total Aunt Jemima.
You mean she's black?
No. She's just
flat as a pancake.
He'll lose interest
soon enough.
Hey, Kane.
Hey, there's my girl.
I'm gonna go
get more fries.
Oh, I'm so sorry!
Oh!
Wow.
- [students laughing]
- Wait, wait, you...
What are you doing?
Hey, wait.
No.
And Stuffs was born.
All because I wanted
Kane to like me.
And then he ended up
with me.
You know, it's funny.
I might have become you
had that not happened.
Maybe it's better
you didn't.
"Maybe"?
I'd say definitely.
Come on, Dadner.
Let's go.
[thrilling music playing]
[Cole] All right, so TJ and
Emile, you get above this stage,
and that is our grand finale.
Just one small issue.
It's Shabbos tomorrow,
so I can't do anything
involving electricity.
Or using the phone.
Or money.
Until after sundown.
Don't worry,
I'll come to your house
and take care of
the dirty work for you.
Okay.
Sounds great.
Perfect. It looks like
we're good to go.
- Yes.
- Cool.
[all clamoring]
[cell phone vibrates]
What was that?
- Nothing.
- Okay, now I have to see.
Yep, he's right.
Nothing.
Well, now I have to see.
[inhales sharply] Oh.
Well, now we have to see.
What is it?
Marissa pics.
Oh, let me see that.
It's for the scandal,
not the girl parts. Gross.
Just chill, guys, okay?
She's just trying to get me
to go to prom with her.
This is perfect.
Beyond.
All right, um,
fill me in.
You have to take her.
[Cole] Wait, what?
Oh, I get it. Hmm.
All right. Somebody just
clue me in here.
If she goes with you,
then we can set her up and ensure
everything we have planned
she gets the worst of.
What's this?
Yes.
My son having a party?
Why in God's name would anyone
wanna come to a party he throws?
Oh, 'cause they're
all freaks.
But Maddy is here.
We were just finishing up.
Oh, I'm so sorry
you guys are leaving.
You know, Maddy,
if you wanna hang out,
I'll totally
get you guys beers.
But you can't tell
your parents, okay?
Okay, huh?
Huh?
Goodbye, Dad.
Okay.
Dude, when your balls drop...
All right. Well,
on that note...
let's call it a night.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
We'll see you guys later.
Bye.
[gentle music playing]
[Maddy] Hey.
Ah... I thought
you took off.
Well, I tried,
but your dad insisted on showing
me his school yearbooks.
All four years.
Ah, I'm so sorry.
Nobody should have to
endure that alone.
Hey, you're really incredible
in leading us all.
More like you.
It was all your idea.
I'm no leader.
Well, I think you are.
So, are you sure you want me
to take Marissa to the prom?
I know it sounds mean,
but, yeah.
I mean, she deserves it,
and now that Kane's
not gonna take her,
we need to ensure that
she shows up.
Yeah.
I was just kind of...
really looking forward
to going with you.
Oh.
I mean, I know it would
just be as friends and all,
and possible crushes
and whatever, but...
even just getting to hang out
with you for the night,
that's just...
I'm... I'm sorry.
- It's okay. Really.
- I don't know what I'm doing.
It's fine.
I gotta go.
I'll call you tomorrow.
Yeah, tomorrow.
Are you all right, chicklet?
I'm fine, Mom. I'm fine.
Honey, I know you don't
always love our advice,
but you can try and
talk to us.
And we can try not
to screw it up.
I feel like I'm on a treadmill
going way too fast
for me to possibly step off,
so I just keep going
faster and faster.
Wait a minute,
I don't understand.
I thought you hated the gym.
No, Mom.
I'm talking about prom.
- Oh.
- Ah.
Wow, prom.
Metaphors are not
our cup of soup.
I don't get why I care
about it so much.
Because, missy, ever since
you were a little girl,
all you talked about
was prom.
You would try on my dresses and
dance around in your room
with your little
Teddy Ruxpin doll.
So cute.
[Murphy] You were adorable
You even crowned your other
stuffed animals king and queen.
I hate to admit it,
but I want to be prom queen.
Even though it sounds
stupid and shallow.
It doesn't sound stupid
at all, honey.
- No.
- It's a little shallow,
but it's not stupid.
Most girls feel that way.
Did you wanna be
prom queen?
Of course I wanted
to be prom queen.
But I'm sorry. Nobody
was gonna put a crown
on Murphy Dadner's and
Christine Likinfelt's head.
Oh, come on.
I know it's hard to believe,
because we're so cool now.
You know, it's kind of
bizarre to have a daughter
who's like the most
popular girl in school,
when we were thought of
as being so weird.
People still call us weird.
To our face.
[man]
You guys are weird!
See?
Well, what was
your prom like?
- [upbeat music playing]
- [mic feedback]
[man] Attention, everyone.
This is the moment
we've all been waiting for.
This is the crowning
of this year's
prom king and queen.
Murphy Dadner and
Christine Likinfelt.
[squeals excitedly]
Not!
[laughter]
I'm so sorry
that happened to you guys.
Ah, no pain no gain.
Listen, honey.
You're a good girl.
If going to prom and
being crowned prom queen
is gonna make you happy,
then we say go for it.
- [Murphy] Go for it.
- And don't you dare
worry about what
anybody says,
or what anybody thinks.
You be you.
[sighs] Okay.
- I love you.
- Aw, I love you, too.
Thank you.
You're welcome, chicken.
'Night, peanut.
I think this is the one time
we gave good advice.
Let's enjoy it, because it's
not about to happen again.
No, never.
You're killing me.
You're killing me!
You're taking bread out of
my children's mouth.
Get here. Look...
I don't care what...
Look at the...
Hey, Uncle Moish.
[stutters]
I'll call you back.
How much money would it take for you to
cancel all the limos for the prom tonight?
I'd never do that.
But what if I told you
it was for your nephew Efraim,
and he was willing to spend the rest
of his bar mitzvah money on it?
Listen, girl-who-uses-piercings-
to-get-attention,
How do I know you're really
here for my nephew Ephraim?
[punk rock music playing]
[keypad clicking]
[text message beeping]
[cell phone vibrating]
[Skype call]
Hey, lover.
When's the limo coming?
Limo canceled.
We're cabbing it.
I can't be seen
coming from a...
I mean, okay.
Doesn't matter,
as long as we're together.
Prom's gonna be lit.
Maybe you could do that thing on Instagram
where you're looking at me with heart eyes.
Yeah, whatever.
No need to get riled.
I know you're upset Maddy
and Kane got back together,
but don't take it out
on me.
I'm not upset about anything.
What did you say?
I know.
Competish for sure.
But I think everyone feels
really bad for you,
so we still have a shot
at winning king and queen.
Hello! Earth to Cole.
Either way, you're so
gonna get laid tonight.
[car approaching]
[car honking]
[car door opens]
What the fuck!
Maddy!
Leave her alone, man.
Kane, don't.
Just wait, please.
What are you doing?
Cole, calm down.
How could you do this to me?
To all of us?
- It's complicated.
- Try me!
It's all happening too fast.
Did last night
mean nothing to you?
No. I just decided I'm not
gonna let petty revenge
get in the way of me having the
prom that I've always wanted.
Yeah, but with the guy
that ruined high school for me.
That guy!
[Maddy] I don't expect
you to understand.
I just wanna go to prom
with my boyfriend
to take pictures and enjoy
the last moment of high school
like any other normal kid.
Yeah, it's cliche,
but I don't care.
Everything about high school
is cliche.
Especially the part about the popular
girls being human garbage fires.
Look, I promise,
this is for the best.
Now you can go
to your art show.
[scoffs]
Look, I won't
rat you guys out.
But with everything
you have planned,
Just don't ruin prom
for me, okay?
Are you done
with your fight?
Can we go now?
[yells in anger]
Hey, rage monster,
what's going on in here?
What do you care?
I care that you're
destroying the house.
You're about to go off to
college and never look back.
I still live here.
Maddy went to prom
with Kane.
Oh!
Well, that makes sense.
Kane's awesome.
Are you serious
right now?
Yeah, I'm serious.
He's way cooler than you.
Oh!
Cole, I'm sorry. I know
how you feel about Maddy.
If I was 25 years younger,
I'd wanna hit that, too.
- Dad!
- And I know about your prom plans.
- How?
- You left your blueprints out.
- They were in my room.
- Yeah, out... in your room.
Okay? You know, sometimes I
come in here and I hang out.
Pretend I'm not an adult
with a job,
the responsibilities...
It's very stress relieving.
Oh, my God.
Sometimes I think what
it would be like to go back
and make different
choices, too.
You're being weird.
Anyway, it doesn't matter.
I was doing it for her.
Maybe.
But you were doing it for
the other kids, too.
Ever since you were
a little boy,
you were always much nicer
to people than I ever was.
I admire that.
You're being nice.
What's happening?
Maybe you didn't notice,
I'm kind of a dick.
- Well...
- No, don't argue!
I know it's true.
Which is why you have to
see your plan through.
So people like Kane
don't become like me.
I have so much regret
when I think about
how I treated people.
Oh, God.
What I did at prom.
But you were prom king.
You were popular,
had tons of friends.
I've seen the portrait.
[retro music]
Yeah, but I was an asshole.
Which is why your mom
eventually left me.
Prom king was
the highlight of my life.
Except for you.
There was...
supposed to be like
a sweet moment, but...
- Yeah, so...
- Oh.
Cool.
Yeah.
So what happened
at your prom?
It wasn't my finest hour,
that's for sure.
Attention!
Attention, everyone.
This is the moment
we've all been waiting for.
This is the crowning
of this year's
prom king and queen.
Murphy Dadner and
Christine Likinfelt.
[gasps]
[squeals excitedly]
Not!
[laughter]
Did you see the look
on their faces?
I'm the prom king.
Obviously.
I'm gonna go
get laid, all right?
'Night, losers.
You did that
to Maddy's parents?
Yeah, and then I bought the
house right next to them,
so I could torment them
indefinitely.
That's insane!
Why don't you stop?
Because...
nobody sabotaged my prom.
Dad, you're reaching.
If someone had
ruined my prom,
I'd be much less
of an asshole,
we'd live in a nicer house,
and your mom wouldn't have
abandoned you.
I'm begging you.
Destroy that prom.
You'd be doing everybody
a huge favor.
Good talk.
[upbeat music]
[techno dance music playing]
[cameras clicking]
Hey, hey, hey
You over there
I said, hey, look at me
I need another
Drink like sour sweet tea
Ain't gonna pay
So it better be free
See, all I really wanna do
Is have some fun
Twist that cherry now
With that tongue
Maybe tonight
You'll be the one
Party of one
Party of some
Party of young, young
Young...
Tell me the plan
Is it too much for
Me to understand?
Do I need to yell
For a yellow cab?
Party all night long
Drinking till we oh
We will never know
Right?
Until we party
Like it's wrong
This party rocking
What you gonna bring?
I got my lip gloss
Tight clothes
High heels and all black
Time to get this part rocking
What you gonna see?
See them bright lights
Fancy cars
Champagne showers
Movie stars
Time to get
This party rocking
Where's it gonna be?
At NYC and NYA
Fly to Vegas
And call it a day
Time to get
This party rocking
When's it gonna be?
Every day, every night
Every hour, all the time
Whoo!
Hello, students,
and welcome to the best
night of your lives.
Prom! Whoo! Whoo!
Whoo! Whoo!
Seriously, you'll be lucky
if you can top it.
Oh, and don't forget to vote
for your prom king and queen.
Oh, and don't forget to
wear a condom...
or pull out.
Whatever.
Have a great night.
Whoo wee!
[City] So, guys, I spiked
the punch bowl.
Just like a little bit.
[indistinct chatter]
- Are we good to go?
- Yeah.
The voting in for
prom queen and king
is said to guarantee
Marissa and Kane win.
And we are totally ready to
Carrie them with paint.
That reference is
so played out.
Can't we call it wrecking
them from Degrassi?
Oh, my gosh, do not
reference that stupid show.
Who cares what
we call it?
All right? We just have
to make sure
that they're both up there
at the same time.
Where's Dadner?
She's out.
[scoffs] That pidge.
Well, the proverbial jig
is up, my friends.
Why am I even at prom?
I didn't want to come to prom.
Hey!
We don't need Maddy
to validate this.
All those people out there,
just want their perfect
high school memories
to their perfect
high school life.
We can't let that
happen again.
So let's go out there
and give them
just a small taste of what they've
done to each and every one of us.
You guys ready to make this
a prom they will never forget?
- Yeah.
- Hell, yes.
I'm so turned on
right now.
Come on, guys,
let's bring it in.
- All right, here we go.
- Whoo!
[all] One, two, three!
- We are Groot!
- What?
- All right, all right.
- So many options.
[together] One, two, three!
Holler G.
- Oh, my God.
- Goodness gracious.
Come on, guys...
We go bass side?
Okay, I think
we should stop.
- [music playing]
- [students chattering]
Can I cut in?
Leave us alone, Marissa.
Are you kidding me?
You forgive him and not me?
F this.
Hey, babe.
I have something
special for you.
It's over here.
What's so funny?
Nothing.
Nothing at all.
- Punch?
- Yeah, whatever.
[ding]
Here you go.
All right.
All ready.
Okay, hand me the flashlight.
Uh... [chuckles nervously]
I wish I'd have met
you sooner.
I would have given anything to have a
friend like this the past four years.
I wish we would have
met sooner, too.
And, Efraim,
it's okay to look.
No, seriously.
Look right now.
Now plug in the HD mic cord
and let's get out of here.
Got it.
All right.
What are you
staring at, Sweats?
[tummy rumbling]
Oh, my God!
[dance music playing]
[cell phones chiming]
Oh, you're gay.
Yo, bro, are you gay?
No, you're
out of the clique.
[all arguing]
Girl, you're straight?
Get out of the clique.
[clamoring]
Hey, now. Hey, now.
Everything is still okay.
Just calm down.
Now then,
let's watch your life
in memories.
The best memories
that any of you
will ever have.
Ever.
Hit it.
[music playing]
[students exclaiming]
I have to admit. This feels
pretty good, Efraim.
Efraim?
[students laughing]
[students laugh]
Guys. It's not...
It is not me.
It's me, all right,
but it's not my penis.
It's not my penis!
[all laugh]
You realize you're probably gonna get
arrested for distributing porn, right?
Worth it.
Oh, no. You are coming
with me, little man.
No, I can't be
touched by a girl.
Well...
We will never be able
to unsee that.
Which might not
be a bad thing.
All right, all you crazy kids.
Voting is officially closed.
It's time to find out
our king and queen.
What the hell
are you doing?
Going against
my better judgment.
I know you're still
in love with me.
Sorry, though.
No happy ending for us.
I'm saving that for Maddy.
You can be
such an asshole.
Wanting to be with
my girlfriend
when we win king and queen
makes me an asshole?
You're the one trying to
get with me right now.
Okay, first of all,
in your dreams.
And second, I know you're
not an asshole, Kane.
You just mastered
acting like one.
As a former prom queen,
this is a moment that
you never forget.
It symbolizes
an entire school
coming together and agreeing
upon one thing.
Popularity.
You know, I remember when you weren't
such a complete douche lick.
And somewhere in my
cold, dead heart, I...
[sighs]
I still want my last
memories with you
to be something more
than just terrible.
[Statszill]
Let's reveal this thing.
I know how I left
you for Maddy was shitty.
Then why did you do it?
Because I had to.
No, you didn't.
You could have just broken up
with me like a normal person.
Instead of giving in to all the
pressures of becoming king jock
and kicking me to the curb
like some stray dog.
This year's
king and queen are...
Can I get a drumroll?
Now...
Okay, I'll do it myself.
[imitating drumroll]
I mean, whatever happened
to that sweet kid
that used to ask permission
to kiss me?
Who used to give me
rubber bands every day
because you knew
I liked to play with them.
[gasps] Not surprisingly...
Maddy and Kane!
[students cheering]
Are you kidding me!
I gotta go.
Trust me...
you don't want to.
What the hell, guys? That
was supposed to be Marissa.
[cheering continues]
Enjoy it...
Wow.
This is a surprise.
Okay, this was
all Maddy's idea.
She does not deserve
our judgment.
Wow, Cole.
That was very big of you.
Yeah, very big.
This is something
I've always wanted.
Uh, Kane?
Where is Kane?
Be a good guy, Cole.
You're a bigger man than
either one of us are.
Mutey, hit it.
[students gasping]
Saved you.
[girl] That dress is wrecked.
[students gasping
and murmuring]
Now you know
what it feels like...
assholes.
[fire alarm blaring]
[all screaming]
How could you
do this to me?
I never did anything
to you.
It wasn't supposed to
go down like that.
It wasn't supposed
to be you.
[Maddy] You blame your entire
shitty high school experience
on me as if you being
a loser is my fault.
You just stood on the
sidelines judging me,
thinking you were better
than me.
Right. I'm sorry.
Sorry's not good enough.
Are you kidding me?
Tighty lives.
[students laughing]
[boy] Tighty's back!
[laughter and jeering]
Enough!
I'm sorry, Maddy.
But this is all on you.
What?
I didn't even
do anything.
Exactly.
You never do anything.
Which is exactly why
guys like Kane
think it's okay to
torment us endlessly.
Because there are no
consequences to their actions.
You stay their friend.
You go to their parties.
You become their girlfriend
or boyfriend.
You stand idly by like
citizens of a war who believe
they have no blame
for the atrocities
that happen in high school.
So, yeah,
we ruined your night.
So what?
We didn't
shoot up the school,
none of us
committed suicide.
Even though we may
have thought of it
just because of the way
you treat us.
And the saddest
part is that
most of us just wish
you liked us.
We even fall in love
with you.
We all grew up together.
The only people
in our entire lives
we'll be able to
say that about.
And here we are, using all these
new forms of communication
not to bring us all together,
but to rip each other apart.
Movies have been made
for decades
about how cruel we are
to each other.
And we can relate.
Just nothing ever happens.
High school is just
a popularity contest.
But for some reason,
that's not good enough.
So we created an actual
popularity contest...
for prom king and queen.
To verify just how unpopular
the rest of us are.
What is up with that?
Prom.
[in normal voice]
Fuck the prom!
Yeah, fuck the prom.
Fuck the prom!
Yeah, fuck the prom.
Fuck the prom.
Fuck the prom.
Fuck the prom.
[all chanting]
Fuck the prom.
Fuck the prom.
Fuck the prom.
Fuck the prom.
Fuck the prom.
Fuck the prom.
Fuck the prom.
Fuck the prom.
Fuck the prom.
- [dance music playing]
- [all cheering]
Wait, can we have a second?
Make it quick.
I knew this would happen.
We didn't even
get to dance.
I've told you.
I'm shomer. I can't...
[cop] All right,
that's enough.
That's enough.
Back up. Back up.
You're gonna be in the sex offender
list for the rest of your life, kid.
Definitely worth it.
[romantic music playing]
Do you wanna dance?
Sure.
No. I'm sorry.
Can't... Can't do it.
Nope, can't do it.
[boy] Felicity.
Felicity.
Felicity Stufts.
You don't respond to
your own name anymore?
Well, no one's called
me that since...
[sighs] Well, you.
Dance with me, Felicity.
You wanna dance?
Yes!
Let's go.
Cole, can we talk?
[camera clicks]
Moments like these
should remain unfiltered.
Right?
[grunting]
Well, they let me out
on probation,
but I'm on the sex offenders
list indefinitely.
Let's discuss the fact
that we're trending.
Fuck the prom.
So awesome.
Why wasn't I
speaking before?
[girl] Oh, my God.
Maddy's hair.
[boy] This is
the same hairstyle...
[girl gasps]
[boy] That hair, though.
The hair, it's the same!
[students speak indistinctly]
Dadner.
Cole, wait.
Just give him a few
more days to cool off.
Yeah.
[knock on door]
Well, hello.
To what do I
owe the pleasure?
[sighs] Is Cole here?
He's probably up playing
68 sided dice game somewhere.
Perfect. Can I come in?
I'm looking for something.
Yeah.
Oh, and do you know what
school Cole's art show is for?
[Ken] I don't care.
Tuck me in
And turn me on
Sight seeing
Set off like a bomb
You gotta take
You gotta take sometime
You gotta wake
You gotta wake up sometime
[Statszill] Cole Reed.
Yeah!
Kane Heely.
Felicity Stufts.
TJ...
Brian Hertsenburg.
Larry Max.
Abby Klein.
Emile Clan.
Also, I love talking.
Whoo!
Maddy "the bomb" Dadner.
Whoo!
[cheering]
[Christine] That's my girl!
You know, you may have cleaned
up your act a little bit,
but I still think
you're weird.
Oh, said the lonely perv.
True.
[all cheering]
So you got in.
So I did.
[chuckles]
When do you leave?
Right now.
Yeah, it starts
this weekend.
Are we gonna make
one of those stupid
high-school-best-friend-pacts
to keep in touch?
I mean, if that's what
you need to
protect your
vulnerable feelings.
Me? Vulnerable?
Mr. I-Made-A-Speech-At-Prom-
With-My-Pants-Around-My-Ankles.
Says Ms. I-Saved-My-Ex-Bf-
Who-Used-To-Give-Me-Rubber-Bands.
Shut up.
Thank you for...
not making high school
completely suck.
Are we supposed to
hug now or something?
All right, guys.
Selfie time.
I thought once your
hair got boring
you didn't care
about selfies, Dadner.
Shut up and
get in the picture.
Sorry, I'm out.
Wait, what?
How come?
- Okay.
- Gotta go.
Dude, you're just
gonna leave?
Leave me hanging?
Come on. Come on, Cole.
Cole.
I gotta go, guys.
- Maddy, come on.
- Gosh.
Cole...
Dude, I don't know how you
haven't figured this out yet,
but Maddy's the whole reason
you got into art school.
What are you talking about?
She was the one that sent your
portfolio to Head of Admissions.
How do you not
know this?
Because nobody
told me that.
Oh, my God.
You are such a dumb boy.
Thank God I'm off to college
where real men await.
What am I supposed
to do?
Thank her?
[doorbell rings]
Hey.
Can we talk?
Yeah, of course.
I owe you
a huge thank you.
Huh. For what?
Being a terrible friend,
or for ruining your prom?
You know exactly what
I'm talking about.
Cole, you're one of the most
incredible people I've ever met.
Not to mention hands down
most talented.
I could't live with myself
if you didn't make it into your
dream school because of me.
What's this?
A going away present.
But you're the one moving.
Should I have given you a gift?
You already have.
Come on, open it.
[sentimental music]
It says you love me.
Is that real, or is that
just the story?
It's not fiction.
We shouldn't...
Can't you stay till
the end of summer,
before school starts?
I don't think so.
Things got so intense
between us so quickly,
I think it might be best
if we're just friends.
Yeah, you're probably right.
Do you think college will
be easier than high school?
I hope so.
So, what do we do now?
[soft rock music playing]
first day of high school.
Oh, you are so lucky.
What I'd give to go back
and do it all again,
exactly the same way.
Star quarterback,
- prom king...
- Prom king.
[both]
Class vice-president.
All the glory, none of
the responsibility.
I know, Dad. I've heard it
a thousand times.
Remember what I told you.
Be popular.
It's the best.
Check. Whatever.
Don't forget that.
[sighs]
See you tonight.
[upbeat music playing]
Ready?
As I'll ever be.
[Ken] Cole.
Stop trying to peek at
Maddy's nipples.
Oh, my God! Dad!
[sighs] Sorry about that.
He doesn't know
he's an adult.
[chuckles]
You wanna race?
Nah. Not today.
Afraid you'll lose?
Ha!
Yeah, you're right.
'Cause I mean, boys are just
so much faster and stronger.
And total suckers.
Thanks for the headstart.
Oh, shit.
Incoming freshman
Maddy Dadner
is on point to finally beat
her arch rival Cole Reed.
And the crowd goes wild.
I don't want people to think
I'm a loser.
Worse case
you always have me.
At school and next door.
- True.
- Oh, hey. Hold on.
[Maddy] Whoa!
Thanks.
But, uh, do you really think
high school's gonna be
all that different
from middle school?
Probably not.
It's all the same kids we've
known since kindergarten.
How much could people really
change in three months?
Go on, I'll meet you
at class.
Oh, okay.
What's up, bro!
[students laughing]
[girl] Look at those
tighty whiteys.
Nice to meet you, tiny.
Guess who got
a new nickname.
[school bell ringing]
[boy]
What's up, Tighty?
Ooh, Tighty.
Fantastic, baby.
Keeping it clean, Tighty?
[girl] Hey, Tighty.
You think you're fooling people
with those headphones,
but I know you've been
listening and keeping track
of how many times
you've been called Tighty,
because you're totally lame and
obsessed with your shitty nickname.
Good morning, City.
The only thing
"good" about this morning
is that it's one day closer
to graduation.
Oh, no.
You are an inspiration.
The M&Ms are goddesses.
The M&Ms are called that because their
first names are Maddy and Marissa,
which starts with an "M".
Sup, Stuffs?
Come on, Maddy. G2G.
It's Stufts, with a "T".
Not "stuffs".
Why do you even
try anymore.
You know they don't
listen to you.
It's the principle
of the thing.
[inspiring music]
Principal Statszill here.
Welcoming all you
sexy young things
back from spring break.
Prom is just
around the corner.
Don't wait to find a date.
The last thing you want is to squander
the greatest night of your young life
on some third tier loser
from AP Cal.
So consider this your
official "save the date"
for May 17th,
the night of the big "P".
Prom, that is.
Good day.
[inspiring music]
Alrighty, then.
Group study time.
Pair up, pair, up, pair up.
Tig. [coughs]
[students] Tig. Tig.
[students fake coughing]
Eat a bowl of dicks!
Could you please focus on
something other than
making your peers
hate themselves?
Now go ahead and
take out your phones
and use them in ways your parents
and I will never understand.
Well, what do we have...
Come on!
You can't hide your drawings
from me forever.
Only until they're finished.
When's that? 2047?
May 17th.
The art school I've applied to
is hosting a gallery night,
and that's where I'll
show my drawings.
That is the best
news ever.
Thank you for officially giving
me a reason to miss prom.
Hey, guess what I'm doing
on May 17th.
Um, nobody cares.
I'm going to Cole's art show
and everyone else
can suck it.
Freak.
Oh. What do we have here?
Cole on Instagram.
And where is he at?
Oh, of course.
Maddy Dadner's feed.
It's just for inspiration.
From Maddy's feed?
Why can't you pick one of the other
16 billion girls on Instagram?
Come on. Everyone is
on her feed.
Did you guys see Maddy's
eyebrows from last weekend?
Oh! On fleek.
There's a very
specific reason
why she has the most followers
in the entire school.
Because no one's monitoring
pervy old dudes
who don't want to
pay for porn.
Sad but true.
But it is also
because of her hair.
Every day
since freshman year,
Maddy's had
a different hairstyle
and posted a photo
of every single one.
Stalker.
Even you can't resist
the M&M's.
The M&M's are
an inspiration.
The M&M's are goddesses.
- The M&M's are...
- Not even here right now.
What is wrong with
all of you?
[scoffs] Like you're innocent.
I know you still talk to
Maddy sometimes.
Yeah.
And I self loathe for it.
I look at myself
in the mirror and say,
"Stupid bitch,
she stole your boyfriend."
I am running up
lines for a play.
Oh. Oh, yeah.
I know that play, okay?
I live that play.
[school bell ringing]
[Principal Statszill over pa] Charles
Adams may not have been accepted by
his presidential
father, John,
but you can find acceptance
by fitting in.
Tighty and Stuffs.
That's a match
made in heaven.
It's "Stufts" with a "T".
Idiot.
[clapping]
Hi, Maddy.
Oh, my God. Your hair
looks great today, Maddy.
I can't believe we
used to be friends with them.
Wish I'd never met
a single one of them.
In a way I used to be them,
so there is a one.
Easy with the riddles,
Master Baggins.
Actually, if you were
still a "them",
we wouldn't be friends.
Can we please not bring up the incident
that brought us together, Tighty?
We've rehashed that one
enough to make a breakfast.
And a second breakfast.
- Or elevenses.
- You need to stop that.
What do you think
about this one?
I feel like it captures
the essence of high school.
Sports, winning,
Kane and I.
IDK.
Well, what about...
this one?
Shouldn't we use photos
of, like, the whole squad,
not just you and Kane?
Well, sure.
But we discussed having
an aspirational power couple
pic of Kane and I.
I just have to find
the best one.
Why don't we just do
a collage of your hair pics
and call it a day?
Marissa, are you riled?
No.
But if you could stop being
a selfish pigeon for one sec,
that would be great.
Did you just call me
a pidge?
So what if I did?
How dare you?
Come on. You know I would
never betray you like that.
Go with the football pic.
It's more iconic.
Like a Taylor Swift song.
Oh, you're so right.
Now onto the group shots.
I'm going to the ladies' room.
Be right back
Wow.
What?
Marissa, I'm so impressed.
No abbreviation.
Laughing out loud.
[cell phone buzzing]
[gasps]
She needs to take this.
Hey, M, you forgot your...
You pidge!
Maddy, it's not what
it looks like.
So it's not my boyfriend
and best friend making out,
but rather some optical
illusion of that?
Well, if you believe that,
then, yes.
Oh, my God.
You? I can't even...
This...
Yeah, Maddy.
You're right.
Oh, fuck it.
It's not what it
looks like.
Mm.
Believe it.
[sobbing softly]
Maddy, what's wrong?
Nothing.
Everything.
Kane didn't do something
without consent, did he?
- What?
- No.
I mean, yeah, he did.
[gasps] Oh, not my baby!
- Oh, gosh!
- Not my baby!
- Call the police.
- It's not like that.
[sighs] Thank God.
Confrontation remains
a challenge for me.
That and dairy.
I hate high school.
I just want it to be over.
Whoa. Really?
But...
Honey, honey. Listen.
I wanna tell you something.
Your father and I,
we can relate.
Our high school years,
they were pretty much
the equivalent of being
locked in
an emotional prison
of constant ridicule
and torture.
Your father got the living
crap kicked out of him
on a daily basis.
And I was called
a greasy headed troll.
Everything happens
for a good reason.
Even though it may feel
horribly humiliating
and punishing and cruel.
At... At the time.
- I don't like it.
- [text message chimes]
I never thought that perfect
popular kids in school
had anything to get
this upset about.
[sighs] Well...
Maybe she's not
that popular.
Oh, no, honey.
Your father didn't mean it.
Honey...
I...
We're bad parents.
Ditto to that.
[alternative rock music playing]
What's up!
Jesus!
Why can't you just
pop your head in
and ask me how my day was,
like any other human father?
So it was lame, huh?
[sighs] No, it was fine.
I'm guessing you still don't
have a date for the prom.
You know my art show
is that night.
Ugh! Art is boring!
Prom is about sex.
Sex is exciting.
Look, I know you're kind
of a weirdo,
and getting laid
before graduation
is kind of a pipe dream.
But...
Maybe there's some
girl out there
who's weird just like you,
that's down to clown
on prom night.
What a classy male
role model I have.
What do you want
from me, Cole?
I was prom king.
I ruled over a night
where dozens of virginities
were laid to rest.
I think I want a DNA test
for my graduation present.
Forget it.
You're stuck with me
for life.
Ugh! Dad, come on!
[door closes]
[Maddy sobbing]
I know
this is inappropriate,
but I bet that girl
is a killer in the sack.
[knocking]
[knocking]
You okay?
I'm fine.
[cell phone vibrating]
[sniffling]
What happened, Maddy?
[sobbing]
Okay.
We don't have to talk.
We can just wait for my dad to shout
something offensive from my house.
It's okay.
It's a good distraction
from the fact that
I've been completely betrayed
by both my ex-bf and my ex-bff.
In a way...
it's not that surprising.
Prom and graduation are
just around the corner,
everyone is losing their minds
trying to create
one last set of picture perfect
memories they can post,
to prove how awesome
their high school
experience was.
You're right.
You know, it's been a while
since we hung out like this.
Does consoling you sobbing
constitute us hanging out?
Do you remember when
we drew those chalk outlines
of ourselves on the front sidewalk
and called the cops as a prank?
[laughs] Yeah.
Do you remember that transmutation
circle I added nearby?
Yeah, I do.
Did you ever
watch Brotherhood?
Oh, God. No.
Was it good?
Doesn't matter.
[cell phone chimes]
I thought he loved me.
You now what?
Screw him.
They are drama absurdity.
And I know you.
I see you at school,
and you are different from
all of the other popular kids.
Then why don't you
ever talk to me?
I could ask you
the same thing.
[cell phone chimes]
Cole, come on,
we're taking a selfie.
What? No.
No, no, no.
Yeah. Come on,
let's go.
Okay, but I've...
never done that before.
Wait...
You're a selfie virgin?
A surgeon?
Yes.
Oh, I am so taking
your selfie virginity.
Smile. Look happy.
[camera shutter
clicking rapidly]
Wait, why are you
taking so many?
"So many"?
I'm just getting started.
I have to take at least 40
before I can post.
What?
You'll get used to it.
What is your Insta,
so I can tag you.
Oh, no.
No, no need for that.
Give me your phone.
Come on, give me.
Wow, did you do these?
Uh, yeah.
My drawing skills
are pathetic.
I don't have any cool
talents whatsoever.
Actually...
I remember something that
you were pretty amazing at.
- [bicycle bell rings]
- The crowd goes wild!
Ah!
All right. You done?
You ready to crown me victor?
[camera clicks]
Perfect.
What happened to
40 pictures?
Moments like this
should be unfiltered.
Oh, p.s.,
you are being followed by
the whole school on Instagram.
What?
Byproduct.
Why did you do that?
I don't want people
seeing my stuff.
Um...
I'm deleting my account.
Very funny, Cole.
[gasps]
Oh, we are so different now.
Maybe you are.
I'm not.
Why did we stop talking?
Really?
You don't remember?
No.
Tighty?
I never called you that.
Yeah, well,
when that happened
that was the beginning
of the end for us.
What's up, bro!
[students laughing]
[whimsical music playing]
How you doing, Tighty?
What you got there?
[girls squealing]
I don't really know
what to say.
Doesn't matter.
What gets me though is that
Kane and I used to be friends.
Well, at least
we're friends again.
We are?
Yeah, we are.
[cell phone chimes]
Damn it!
Why did all of this have to
happen right before prom?
That's it.
What's it?
Prom.
As long as you
go to prom,
your high school experience
won't be a complete bust.
And if you're crowned prom
king or queen,
it's like being told
you win at high school.
Yeah, but sometimes
it's the gay kid,
or the trans-sexual kid,
or the crippled kid.
So that the popular kids
can feel like good people for
allowing it to happen.
I never thought
of it that way.
See, um...
What the popular kids
don't realize
is that most of their awesome
high school experiences
are at the expense
of the unpopular
kids' feelings.
What if we ruined it?
What?
Prom.
You mad, bro?
No, I'm serious.
I mean, don't they deserve it?
I think you're just a little
upset about what happened today.
No, this is my chance to
reject the last four years.
How?
We'll make it a night that
they'll never forget.
We'll do it by
completely destroying it.
I mean, it sounds fun, but...
I already have plans
that night.
Oh.
Hot date, huh?
What's her name?
The art school that
I've applied to
is holding a gallery night for
their prospective students.
Okay.
But come on, Cole.
This is how you win
at high school.
Do it with me.
Fine. I'm in.
Yes!
We're doing this. I can't
believe we're doing this.
You and me,
back together again.
Reality check.
We're gonna need
some help.
No way.
"No way"?
What do you mean "no way"?
You hate them all
worse than I do.
I'm just not
that riled.
Besides, getting revenge
on the popular kids?
That's like bullying
from our side.
So, are you in?
She's involved.
Yeah, not happening.
Hey, Cole.
Hey.
Holy shit, he talked to you.
City, come on.
This is our last chance
to create the memories we
wanna leave high school with.
Hey, you're Cole, right?
I'm so sorry. I was trying to
follow you on Instagram,
but for some reason I cannot
find your account at all.
What's the deal?
I deleted it.
What?
Oh!
Yeah.
Definitely want
no part of this.
City, we're trying
to make a statement.
A statement?
Since when have you spoken up
about anything, you basic bitch?
City, find your chill.
Why?
Because suddenly life isn't
perfect for Little Miss Popular
and now she wants
her revenge?
Why should I
give a shit?
City...
Who! Excuse me, Tighty,
didn't see you there.
Don't call him that.
What is up with you, Maddy?
Taking selfies
with this loser
and not returning my texts?
I almost got desperate
and used my phone...
as a phone...
to like actually call you.
What are you
looking at, Stuffs?
My name is...
You know what?
Forget everything I just said.
I'm in.
[inspiring music]
Principal Statszill here.
Another inspiring day
comes to a close,
here at Charles Adams High.
Whoo!
I've been fielding complaints
from the juniors
about the amount of time I spend
discussing the senior prom.
I say...
Get a senior to take you.
It's only statutory
if you get caught.
Oh, and finals are
right around the corner.
So, uh...
Study, I guess.
[toilet flushing]
Stay away from me.
I came to pee and you were
an unfortunate byproduct.
So gladly.
Marissa, wait.
Yes?
How long has it been going on
between you and Kane?
Depends.
Does sending him nudes
count as the beginning?
Wow.
Typical Marissa.
Yes, yes, yes.
Typical whore Marissa.
Way to slut shame.
He was my boyfriend.
And you were supposed to be
my best friend.
We may be the M&Ms,
but everyone knows
it's all about Maddy.
And her hairstyles, and her
Instagram, and her boyfriend.
None of that is my fault.
What about giving me
an eating disorder
by yelling, "Delete it. Fat."
any time I post
a bikini pic on Instagram?
I was trying to be helpful.
And never tagging me
in any pics of us,
claiming you'll never
do that for anyone,
just so you'll get
more followers.
And then you go
and tag Tighty? WTF?
Oh, enough with
the abbreviating.
Tagging you on Instagram and
hooking up with my boyfriend
are not even in
the same universe.
The BF you wouldn't even
have if it weren't for me.
Stop abbreviating!
You...
Wait, what?
The only reason Kane was in
the gym during cheer practice
and saved you from that
basket toss gone awry,
was because I texted him.
Then with fate's cruel twist,
you landed in his arms.
Your perfect meeting
was an accident.
Not some Disney princess
destiny bullshit.
So why are you
doing this now?
Easy. Prom.
I know how much being
crowned queen means to you.
Which only makes me
want it more.
And being with Kane
equals prom queen, pidge.
Now just reflect
and listen to
my urine hit the water.
[urinating]
I reflected.
My whole life has
been a lie.
Excuse me! [sobbing]
Ready to do this, Dadner?
Hell, yeah.
I feel the fire
And it's gonna be down
All the way to the basement
I'm missing a piece
Of my beating heart
And I need something
To replace it
- How do you do this?
- [camera clicking]
Thirty-nine more.
Here we go.
[camera clicking]
You got just what I need
You're where
I gotta be
I just can't stay away
Baby girl can't stay away
Baby, I'm just like
An addict
You're becoming
A favorite habit
I just can't stay away
Baby girl can't stay away
Oh, baby, I'm just like
An addict
You're becoming
A favorite habit
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Yeah, we're gonna need
more people to pull this off.
Who would wanna
help us?
Every kid you and your
ex-friends ever made fun of.
[rock music playing]
[inaudible dialog]
What's up, big guy?
Not today, you guys.
I got you a pulled
pork sandwich.
No, that's...
You're not gonna believe
what I got for you.
A little hot dog.
My mom packed
you a necklace.
- Wait, no. Please...
- Sausage links.
Oh, look at that.
Fresh ham,
right out the deli.
Hanks are
non-kosher, okay.
How about this one?
Oh!
Could you pick that up
for me, please?
I can't move without it
on my head.
You guys are killing me
right now. Just...
I have to get to class.
Shut up, Strings.
It's called a tzitzit.
Yeah, whatever, Strings.
[both chanting] Strings,
Strings, Strings,
Strings,
Strings, Strings,
Strings,
Strings, Strings...
[chanting continues]
OMG.
You're so sweaty.
It's like your body is
literally crying for help.
I can't believe you're
talking to me.
Not kidding, but the sweat
stain on your back
literally looks like the
United States of America.
I'm posting this.
Sweat that makes up stains
in an abnormal way
is seriously gross.
[students screaming]
[girl] Ew.
You look like a swamp.
Did you jump in the pool?
It's not my fault!
I have a glandular issue.
[students laugh]
"Boo Radley was an outsider.
A recluse who never left
his house, thanks to..."
[all murmuring]
"The terrible rumors
spread about him..."
[boy] ...those titties.
Those were supposed to
be for my boyfriend!
Please stop spreading
them around.
You shared it with them?
Whatever.
You shouldn't have
trusted me.
[students chanting]
Tig, Tig, Tig, Tig!
Tig, Tig, Tig, Tig!
Tig, Tig, Tig, Tig!
Tig, Tig, Tig, Tig!
Tig, Tig, Tig, Tig!
High school is
the God damn worst.
[students continue chanting]
[teacher] Who here
did the reading,
and knows the difference
between DNA and RNA?
Emile?
[high-pitched squawking voice]
The difference is...
Wait, I'm sorry, what?
[phone beeping]
The difference is...
Anyone else?
Yes, Achiva?
[Emile on tape]
The difference is...
He sounds like
a sick parrot.
Squawk, squawk, little bird.
He's such a nerd!
[all laughing]
[students jeering]
[laughing]
[squawking mockingly]
I'll never speak again.
[heartbeat pulsating]
[camera clicks]
- [buzzer rings]
- Whoo!
[students cheering]
Legals! Legals! Legals!
Okay, here's the sich, people,
we are going to destroy prom
for all the a-holes who
destroyed high school for us.
Seriously, who cares
about the stupid prom?
Pretty much
everyone at school,
except for us.
How do we know that
this isn't some
cruel game that
she is playing
to humiliate us later, huh?
I would never do that.
So we're just supposed
to forget
about all the pain your
people put us through
and help you out?
Yeah, no way.
I'm out.
Listen.
Here's something I've
learned the hard way.
Popularity is just some
ridiculous concept
that ruins people's lives.
Truth is,
you're the lucky ones.
I'm envious of
all of you.
An M&M is envious?
- Of us?
- Yes.
Despite being rejected, you all
have stayed true to yourselves.
I've always done everything
in my power to fit in.
And I'll admit my reasons
for doing this are pathetic.
My popular boyfriend leaves
me for my popular best friend.
Big deal, right?
But it's not too late to
correct the errors of my ways.
I don't deserve your trust.
[sighs]
But I do wanna
change things.
Together we can
make a statement.
So what do you say?
I have no idea how we
all understood that, but...
Okay, we're in.
Yes!
Okay, you guys.
Maddy is like the Khaleesi
and Cole us King of the North.
Then what does that
make me?
Brienne, the bad ass
lady knight?
Eh, I'll take it.
[sighs]
- What's up, losers?
- Whoa.
A popular person.
It's okay, guys.
He's one of us.
Your text was cryptic,
City, but...
Now I see.
See what?
Just trying to find
a place to fit in.
Apparently I'm too gay
for the straights,
and too straight
for the gays. But...
maybe with you, Cole.
Somewhere I fit in.
If you help us out, Cole will
blow you, no questions asked.
I what?
Unlike on
the basketball court,
I shall pass.
Sorry, buddy,
no offense, but...
you're just too fat
for me.
But I'm still in.
What's the plan?
We meet away from school,
my place tomorrow.
And I...
Sorry, I just wanted
the last word.
[Principal Statszill over pa] Maddy
Dadner, report to the principal's office.
Maddy Dadner,
principal's office.
Oh! Madeline Dadner.
Oh, Maddy!
Maddy, Maddy! Oh!
Maddy, the model student!
Maddy Miss Popular.
Maddy. Maddy, who reminds
me so much of myself.
Why am I here?
Because of this.
[Maddy]
I'm not sure I follow.
That is a picture of
you and Cole Reed.
So?
Cole Reed is...
weird.
Okay? He's always drawing.
Looking like he belongs in a
hipster version of iCarly.
I mean, he doesn't
even belong to a clique.
Are you trying to tell me who I
can and can't be friends with?
Oh, Maddy.
I just don't want you
squandering your reputation
here at the finish line.
What do you mean?
High school sets
the tone for life.
All right?
Look at me.
Honor Society, yearbook,
and the only freshman ever
to be elected class president.
And captain of
the cheer squad. Whoo!
[laughs]
And where did
that lead me? Hmm?
To becoming the youngest
high school principal
in the history of the state,
right back where
it all began,
here at Charles Adams High.
Whoo!
I don't get how this has
anything to do with me.
The point is...
I didn't throw it all away
in the last minute
by hanging out with...
Well...
Those people.
And what do you mean
by "those people"?
Oh, you know
what I mean.
Not really.
Oh, come on, girl.
You're a smart cookie.
Yeah, and I don't get it.
The losers!
Don't hang out with
the losers.
[exhales dramatically]
Just looking out
for you, hon.
By calling
my friends losers
and printing out
my Instagram feed?
I don't even know
how to do that.
Oh, there's an app
for that.
Why are you even
on my Instagram?
Oh, honey...
If you think
the entire faculty
isn't following
their students online...
then you're cray cray.
Wow.
Think about
what I said, okay?
Selfie time? Hmm?
Maddy?
Maddy!
Oh, this lighting
is great. Maddy!
Maddy, Maddy, Maddy.
Turn around.
Turn around.
Oh, Maddy!
[music plays softly]
So when can I read it?
When it's good enough.
Which may be never.
You're so talented.
Any art school would be
crazy not to take you.
So, yeah.
You're in my room.
So I am.
Oh, it's no big deal.
Not a big deal
at all.
No. I don't really think
it's a big deal.
So, what did Statszill say?
Oh, just enough
for me to know
that I'm 100%
doing the right thing
in ruining the prom.
You are doing
the right thing.
Oh, well...
We are.
Together.
Listen, Cole...
I'm sorry about everything
that's happened
since the first day
of high school.
We've been over this before.
It's fine.
- No.
- Really.
No, it's really not.
We used to hang out
in here all the time.
And I used to sit
right here,
just like this.
Jesus! How many hours
do you think we spent
playing Pokemon in here?
Like a million.
And we talked about how crazy
it would be when we turned 16
and were able to drive.
Prom wasn't even on
our radar back then.
[sighs]
Cole...
I have to honest.
Yeah.
I used to think about prom
even back then.
Wait, are you having second
thoughts about our plan?
I guess I'm just saying...
as much as I wanna
go through with it,
I think part of me just
wishes I could go to prom.
Does that make me
a hypocrite?
Not really.
I think to some degree
we all kinda want to go.
Society, right?
Good.
At least I'm not alone.
What do you say we kick it
old school style?
How so?
Like eat microwave popcorn,
watch some TV?
You said Brotherhood
was good, right?
- Really?
- Yeah.
So the beginning is almost exactly
the same as the original Fullmetal.
- Okay.
- But, uh...
then it takes
this huge turn...
Ooh.
Suspenseful.
You remember it, right?
Refresh my memory.
Gotcha.
Okay, here we go.
Edward and Alphonse Elric,
brothers.
Alchemists.
They got transmutation
circle thing.
They're trying to
bring their mom back.
It all goes wrong.
Alphonse loses
his body.
Edward loses his leg...
[birds chirping]
[cell phone chimes]
[chimes]
Hey, baby.
- Not now.
- WTF.
Come on, Kane, let's
give everyone a show.
Jesus! Would you stop it!
What's your damage?
This was a mistake.
We're done.
What?
Did you see who Maddy
was going to prom with?
Oh, my God.
He's totes hot.
I'm totally voting for them
as prom king and queen.
Me, too.
I dind't see it until now,
but I totally shifted.
[cell phone vibrating]
No lunch today?
Nothing here's kosher.
Wait, you're Jewish, too?
You don't
look like it.
On my mom's side.
My dad's
a struggling Buddhist.
Mm. Interesting.
But, shomer negiah...
What's all
the hollering about?
Um...
I can't touch a girl
even the slightest bit, so...
Unless you're my wife...
we can't.
Oh, no.
I didn't mean...
Well... Never mind.
[sighs]
Oh, how exciting.
Prom king and queen,
right beside us.
Shouldn't we be excited that we're
all technically going to prom now?
[school bell rings]
Wait. Guys, hold on.
I wanna document
this moment.
I'm gonna take a selfie
and tag all of you in it.
Cool!
[camera clicks]
- Sweet.
- Got it.
Hold on. Hold on.
We have to take at least 40 or 50
to make sure we all look good.
[camera clicks rapidly]
[rock music playing]
Hey, Tighty.
Calling me that is not gonna help
you get whatever you want from me.
But I got your attention.
You didn't get my attention as much
as you shoved me a locked closet.
Yeah, but you
didn't fight back.
Marissa,
what do you want?
You, me, prom.
I'm already going
with Maddy.
Ditch tat pidge
and come with me.
Are you high?
A little. But that doesn't
mean I don't mean what I say.
Why do you wanna
go with me?
Your profile is
on the up,
and Kane's is on the down.
If I go with you,
prom queen could be mine.
What makes you think
I would ever go with you
after what
you did to Maddy?
You're an idiot if you think she's
actually going to end up going with you.
Kane wants her back
and Kane gets what he wants.
She'll abandon you and your
loser friends in a heartbeat.
You don't know her
like I do.
I think it's
the other way around.
Besides, she just wants
to go as friends.
On the other hand,
if you go with me,
I'll make it very
worth your while.
Let me take off
those tighty whiteys.
Mm.
Yeah, no.
Wait, which one?
You said yes, and then
you said no.
It's gonna be a pass.
"Pass"? [scoffs]
You can't just pass.
Or shoot the ball,
whatever.
You're not really good with
sports metaphors, are you?
Not really.
[punk music playing]
[Maddy]
Hey, City, wait up.
What is it, Dadner?
Well, I thought we could
have some girl time.
You're shitting me.
What, you don't
do girl time?
Somewhere in there
I know you do.
Oh, great.
Hey, Maddy.
What's up, Stuffs?
My name is Stufts.
It's Stufts, not Stuffs.
And I've nothing more
to say to you.
You really don't wanna
go to prom with me?
Not even slightly.
Why don't you wanna
go with me?
Are you dense?
Because you cheated on me
with my best friend.
It was a mistake, baby.
And now that
you're with Tighty...
I mean Cole.
I realize that I can't stand to throw
away our relationship like this.
Maybe you should have
thought of that
before you had your tongue
hanging out of Marissa's nose.
She sent you that pic?
Never mind. Uh, look.
I fucked up.
All right? And I don't expect
things to go back to normal.
But we have talked
about prom for years.
We have to go together.
Just because you apologize
doesn't mean you get
what you want.
Madeline.
I'm sorry.
All right? Truly.
But please don't let
a single mistake
rob us of our final
memories together.
At the very least
don't embarrass yourself
by making new ones
with the losers at school.
[slow clap]
Nice speech.
You know,
to some of us,
you're the loser.
You know, maybe if I'd kept
dating Stufts all these years,
she'd be less of
an emo asshole.
I'm not emo.
[sighs] Come on, let's go hang
out with Cole and the others.
Wait.
You and Kane?
Oh, come on, you knew.
No, I didn't.
You're the one
he left for me.
Yes, technically, but...
seeing as I don't
really care,
at all, just drop it,
okay?
So when
Marissa said she got
some girl out of the way,
that was you?
- You're that girl?
- Yes, how do you...
not know this?
I mean, you're best friends
with all of the people
who hate me
and call me Stuffs.
I never took
part in it.
I don't even know why
they call you that. Tell me.
Fine.
[girls chatting]
All of the boys have been
talking about
which one of us
has the biggest chest.
That is so judgmental.
Like we can
control our bodies.
I've been stuffing
for, like, two weeks.
I'm getting
so much attention.
[girl] Stuffing?
Toilet paper
in my bra.
It totally sells.
Kane even talked
to me today.
[girl] OMG.
Wait, but isn't he
dating someone?
[Marissa] Yeah, but she's
a total Aunt Jemima.
You mean she's black?
No. She's just
flat as a pancake.
He'll lose interest
soon enough.
Hey, Kane.
Hey, there's my girl.
I'm gonna go
get more fries.
Oh, I'm so sorry!
Oh!
Wow.
- [students laughing]
- Wait, wait, you...
What are you doing?
Hey, wait.
No.
And Stuffs was born.
All because I wanted
Kane to like me.
And then he ended up
with me.
You know, it's funny.
I might have become you
had that not happened.
Maybe it's better
you didn't.
"Maybe"?
I'd say definitely.
Come on, Dadner.
Let's go.
[thrilling music playing]
[Cole] All right, so TJ and
Emile, you get above this stage,
and that is our grand finale.
Just one small issue.
It's Shabbos tomorrow,
so I can't do anything
involving electricity.
Or using the phone.
Or money.
Until after sundown.
Don't worry,
I'll come to your house
and take care of
the dirty work for you.
Okay.
Sounds great.
Perfect. It looks like
we're good to go.
- Yes.
- Cool.
[all clamoring]
[cell phone vibrates]
What was that?
- Nothing.
- Okay, now I have to see.
Yep, he's right.
Nothing.
Well, now I have to see.
[inhales sharply] Oh.
Well, now we have to see.
What is it?
Marissa pics.
Oh, let me see that.
It's for the scandal,
not the girl parts. Gross.
Just chill, guys, okay?
She's just trying to get me
to go to prom with her.
This is perfect.
Beyond.
All right, um,
fill me in.
You have to take her.
[Cole] Wait, what?
Oh, I get it. Hmm.
All right. Somebody just
clue me in here.
If she goes with you,
then we can set her up and ensure
everything we have planned
she gets the worst of.
What's this?
Yes.
My son having a party?
Why in God's name would anyone
wanna come to a party he throws?
Oh, 'cause they're
all freaks.
But Maddy is here.
We were just finishing up.
Oh, I'm so sorry
you guys are leaving.
You know, Maddy,
if you wanna hang out,
I'll totally
get you guys beers.
But you can't tell
your parents, okay?
Okay, huh?
Huh?
Goodbye, Dad.
Okay.
Dude, when your balls drop...
All right. Well,
on that note...
let's call it a night.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
We'll see you guys later.
Bye.
[gentle music playing]
[Maddy] Hey.
Ah... I thought
you took off.
Well, I tried,
but your dad insisted on showing
me his school yearbooks.
All four years.
Ah, I'm so sorry.
Nobody should have to
endure that alone.
Hey, you're really incredible
in leading us all.
More like you.
It was all your idea.
I'm no leader.
Well, I think you are.
So, are you sure you want me
to take Marissa to the prom?
I know it sounds mean,
but, yeah.
I mean, she deserves it,
and now that Kane's
not gonna take her,
we need to ensure that
she shows up.
Yeah.
I was just kind of...
really looking forward
to going with you.
Oh.
I mean, I know it would
just be as friends and all,
and possible crushes
and whatever, but...
even just getting to hang out
with you for the night,
that's just...
I'm... I'm sorry.
- It's okay. Really.
- I don't know what I'm doing.
It's fine.
I gotta go.
I'll call you tomorrow.
Yeah, tomorrow.
Are you all right, chicklet?
I'm fine, Mom. I'm fine.
Honey, I know you don't
always love our advice,
but you can try and
talk to us.
And we can try not
to screw it up.
I feel like I'm on a treadmill
going way too fast
for me to possibly step off,
so I just keep going
faster and faster.
Wait a minute,
I don't understand.
I thought you hated the gym.
No, Mom.
I'm talking about prom.
- Oh.
- Ah.
Wow, prom.
Metaphors are not
our cup of soup.
I don't get why I care
about it so much.
Because, missy, ever since
you were a little girl,
all you talked about
was prom.
You would try on my dresses and
dance around in your room
with your little
Teddy Ruxpin doll.
So cute.
[Murphy] You were adorable
You even crowned your other
stuffed animals king and queen.
I hate to admit it,
but I want to be prom queen.
Even though it sounds
stupid and shallow.
It doesn't sound stupid
at all, honey.
- No.
- It's a little shallow,
but it's not stupid.
Most girls feel that way.
Did you wanna be
prom queen?
Of course I wanted
to be prom queen.
But I'm sorry. Nobody
was gonna put a crown
on Murphy Dadner's and
Christine Likinfelt's head.
Oh, come on.
I know it's hard to believe,
because we're so cool now.
You know, it's kind of
bizarre to have a daughter
who's like the most
popular girl in school,
when we were thought of
as being so weird.
People still call us weird.
To our face.
[man]
You guys are weird!
See?
Well, what was
your prom like?
- [upbeat music playing]
- [mic feedback]
[man] Attention, everyone.
This is the moment
we've all been waiting for.
This is the crowning
of this year's
prom king and queen.
Murphy Dadner and
Christine Likinfelt.
[squeals excitedly]
Not!
[laughter]
I'm so sorry
that happened to you guys.
Ah, no pain no gain.
Listen, honey.
You're a good girl.
If going to prom and
being crowned prom queen
is gonna make you happy,
then we say go for it.
- [Murphy] Go for it.
- And don't you dare
worry about what
anybody says,
or what anybody thinks.
You be you.
[sighs] Okay.
- I love you.
- Aw, I love you, too.
Thank you.
You're welcome, chicken.
'Night, peanut.
I think this is the one time
we gave good advice.
Let's enjoy it, because it's
not about to happen again.
No, never.
You're killing me.
You're killing me!
You're taking bread out of
my children's mouth.
Get here. Look...
I don't care what...
Look at the...
Hey, Uncle Moish.
[stutters]
I'll call you back.
How much money would it take for you to
cancel all the limos for the prom tonight?
I'd never do that.
But what if I told you
it was for your nephew Efraim,
and he was willing to spend the rest
of his bar mitzvah money on it?
Listen, girl-who-uses-piercings-
to-get-attention,
How do I know you're really
here for my nephew Ephraim?
[punk rock music playing]
[keypad clicking]
[text message beeping]
[cell phone vibrating]
[Skype call]
Hey, lover.
When's the limo coming?
Limo canceled.
We're cabbing it.
I can't be seen
coming from a...
I mean, okay.
Doesn't matter,
as long as we're together.
Prom's gonna be lit.
Maybe you could do that thing on Instagram
where you're looking at me with heart eyes.
Yeah, whatever.
No need to get riled.
I know you're upset Maddy
and Kane got back together,
but don't take it out
on me.
I'm not upset about anything.
What did you say?
I know.
Competish for sure.
But I think everyone feels
really bad for you,
so we still have a shot
at winning king and queen.
Hello! Earth to Cole.
Either way, you're so
gonna get laid tonight.
[car approaching]
[car honking]
[car door opens]
What the fuck!
Maddy!
Leave her alone, man.
Kane, don't.
Just wait, please.
What are you doing?
Cole, calm down.
How could you do this to me?
To all of us?
- It's complicated.
- Try me!
It's all happening too fast.
Did last night
mean nothing to you?
No. I just decided I'm not
gonna let petty revenge
get in the way of me having the
prom that I've always wanted.
Yeah, but with the guy
that ruined high school for me.
That guy!
[Maddy] I don't expect
you to understand.
I just wanna go to prom
with my boyfriend
to take pictures and enjoy
the last moment of high school
like any other normal kid.
Yeah, it's cliche,
but I don't care.
Everything about high school
is cliche.
Especially the part about the popular
girls being human garbage fires.
Look, I promise,
this is for the best.
Now you can go
to your art show.
[scoffs]
Look, I won't
rat you guys out.
But with everything
you have planned,
Just don't ruin prom
for me, okay?
Are you done
with your fight?
Can we go now?
[yells in anger]
Hey, rage monster,
what's going on in here?
What do you care?
I care that you're
destroying the house.
You're about to go off to
college and never look back.
I still live here.
Maddy went to prom
with Kane.
Oh!
Well, that makes sense.
Kane's awesome.
Are you serious
right now?
Yeah, I'm serious.
He's way cooler than you.
Oh!
Cole, I'm sorry. I know
how you feel about Maddy.
If I was 25 years younger,
I'd wanna hit that, too.
- Dad!
- And I know about your prom plans.
- How?
- You left your blueprints out.
- They were in my room.
- Yeah, out... in your room.
Okay? You know, sometimes I
come in here and I hang out.
Pretend I'm not an adult
with a job,
the responsibilities...
It's very stress relieving.
Oh, my God.
Sometimes I think what
it would be like to go back
and make different
choices, too.
You're being weird.
Anyway, it doesn't matter.
I was doing it for her.
Maybe.
But you were doing it for
the other kids, too.
Ever since you were
a little boy,
you were always much nicer
to people than I ever was.
I admire that.
You're being nice.
What's happening?
Maybe you didn't notice,
I'm kind of a dick.
- Well...
- No, don't argue!
I know it's true.
Which is why you have to
see your plan through.
So people like Kane
don't become like me.
I have so much regret
when I think about
how I treated people.
Oh, God.
What I did at prom.
But you were prom king.
You were popular,
had tons of friends.
I've seen the portrait.
[retro music]
Yeah, but I was an asshole.
Which is why your mom
eventually left me.
Prom king was
the highlight of my life.
Except for you.
There was...
supposed to be like
a sweet moment, but...
- Yeah, so...
- Oh.
Cool.
Yeah.
So what happened
at your prom?
It wasn't my finest hour,
that's for sure.
Attention!
Attention, everyone.
This is the moment
we've all been waiting for.
This is the crowning
of this year's
prom king and queen.
Murphy Dadner and
Christine Likinfelt.
[gasps]
[squeals excitedly]
Not!
[laughter]
Did you see the look
on their faces?
I'm the prom king.
Obviously.
I'm gonna go
get laid, all right?
'Night, losers.
You did that
to Maddy's parents?
Yeah, and then I bought the
house right next to them,
so I could torment them
indefinitely.
That's insane!
Why don't you stop?
Because...
nobody sabotaged my prom.
Dad, you're reaching.
If someone had
ruined my prom,
I'd be much less
of an asshole,
we'd live in a nicer house,
and your mom wouldn't have
abandoned you.
I'm begging you.
Destroy that prom.
You'd be doing everybody
a huge favor.
Good talk.
[upbeat music]
[techno dance music playing]
[cameras clicking]
Hey, hey, hey
You over there
I said, hey, look at me
I need another
Drink like sour sweet tea
Ain't gonna pay
So it better be free
See, all I really wanna do
Is have some fun
Twist that cherry now
With that tongue
Maybe tonight
You'll be the one
Party of one
Party of some
Party of young, young
Young...
Tell me the plan
Is it too much for
Me to understand?
Do I need to yell
For a yellow cab?
Party all night long
Drinking till we oh
We will never know
Right?
Until we party
Like it's wrong
This party rocking
What you gonna bring?
I got my lip gloss
Tight clothes
High heels and all black
Time to get this part rocking
What you gonna see?
See them bright lights
Fancy cars
Champagne showers
Movie stars
Time to get
This party rocking
Where's it gonna be?
At NYC and NYA
Fly to Vegas
And call it a day
Time to get
This party rocking
When's it gonna be?
Every day, every night
Every hour, all the time
Whoo!
Hello, students,
and welcome to the best
night of your lives.
Prom! Whoo! Whoo!
Whoo! Whoo!
Seriously, you'll be lucky
if you can top it.
Oh, and don't forget to vote
for your prom king and queen.
Oh, and don't forget to
wear a condom...
or pull out.
Whatever.
Have a great night.
Whoo wee!
[City] So, guys, I spiked
the punch bowl.
Just like a little bit.
[indistinct chatter]
- Are we good to go?
- Yeah.
The voting in for
prom queen and king
is said to guarantee
Marissa and Kane win.
And we are totally ready to
Carrie them with paint.
That reference is
so played out.
Can't we call it wrecking
them from Degrassi?
Oh, my gosh, do not
reference that stupid show.
Who cares what
we call it?
All right? We just have
to make sure
that they're both up there
at the same time.
Where's Dadner?
She's out.
[scoffs] That pidge.
Well, the proverbial jig
is up, my friends.
Why am I even at prom?
I didn't want to come to prom.
Hey!
We don't need Maddy
to validate this.
All those people out there,
just want their perfect
high school memories
to their perfect
high school life.
We can't let that
happen again.
So let's go out there
and give them
just a small taste of what they've
done to each and every one of us.
You guys ready to make this
a prom they will never forget?
- Yeah.
- Hell, yes.
I'm so turned on
right now.
Come on, guys,
let's bring it in.
- All right, here we go.
- Whoo!
[all] One, two, three!
- We are Groot!
- What?
- All right, all right.
- So many options.
[together] One, two, three!
Holler G.
- Oh, my God.
- Goodness gracious.
Come on, guys...
We go bass side?
Okay, I think
we should stop.
- [music playing]
- [students chattering]
Can I cut in?
Leave us alone, Marissa.
Are you kidding me?
You forgive him and not me?
F this.
Hey, babe.
I have something
special for you.
It's over here.
What's so funny?
Nothing.
Nothing at all.
- Punch?
- Yeah, whatever.
[ding]
Here you go.
All right.
All ready.
Okay, hand me the flashlight.
Uh... [chuckles nervously]
I wish I'd have met
you sooner.
I would have given anything to have a
friend like this the past four years.
I wish we would have
met sooner, too.
And, Efraim,
it's okay to look.
No, seriously.
Look right now.
Now plug in the HD mic cord
and let's get out of here.
Got it.
All right.
What are you
staring at, Sweats?
[tummy rumbling]
Oh, my God!
[dance music playing]
[cell phones chiming]
Oh, you're gay.
Yo, bro, are you gay?
No, you're
out of the clique.
[all arguing]
Girl, you're straight?
Get out of the clique.
[clamoring]
Hey, now. Hey, now.
Everything is still okay.
Just calm down.
Now then,
let's watch your life
in memories.
The best memories
that any of you
will ever have.
Ever.
Hit it.
[music playing]
[students exclaiming]
I have to admit. This feels
pretty good, Efraim.
Efraim?
[students laughing]
[students laugh]
Guys. It's not...
It is not me.
It's me, all right,
but it's not my penis.
It's not my penis!
[all laugh]
You realize you're probably gonna get
arrested for distributing porn, right?
Worth it.
Oh, no. You are coming
with me, little man.
No, I can't be
touched by a girl.
Well...
We will never be able
to unsee that.
Which might not
be a bad thing.
All right, all you crazy kids.
Voting is officially closed.
It's time to find out
our king and queen.
What the hell
are you doing?
Going against
my better judgment.
I know you're still
in love with me.
Sorry, though.
No happy ending for us.
I'm saving that for Maddy.
You can be
such an asshole.
Wanting to be with
my girlfriend
when we win king and queen
makes me an asshole?
You're the one trying to
get with me right now.
Okay, first of all,
in your dreams.
And second, I know you're
not an asshole, Kane.
You just mastered
acting like one.
As a former prom queen,
this is a moment that
you never forget.
It symbolizes
an entire school
coming together and agreeing
upon one thing.
Popularity.
You know, I remember when you weren't
such a complete douche lick.
And somewhere in my
cold, dead heart, I...
[sighs]
I still want my last
memories with you
to be something more
than just terrible.
[Statszill]
Let's reveal this thing.
I know how I left
you for Maddy was shitty.
Then why did you do it?
Because I had to.
No, you didn't.
You could have just broken up
with me like a normal person.
Instead of giving in to all the
pressures of becoming king jock
and kicking me to the curb
like some stray dog.
This year's
king and queen are...
Can I get a drumroll?
Now...
Okay, I'll do it myself.
[imitating drumroll]
I mean, whatever happened
to that sweet kid
that used to ask permission
to kiss me?
Who used to give me
rubber bands every day
because you knew
I liked to play with them.
[gasps] Not surprisingly...
Maddy and Kane!
[students cheering]
Are you kidding me!
I gotta go.
Trust me...
you don't want to.
What the hell, guys? That
was supposed to be Marissa.
[cheering continues]
Enjoy it...
Wow.
This is a surprise.
Okay, this was
all Maddy's idea.
She does not deserve
our judgment.
Wow, Cole.
That was very big of you.
Yeah, very big.
This is something
I've always wanted.
Uh, Kane?
Where is Kane?
Be a good guy, Cole.
You're a bigger man than
either one of us are.
Mutey, hit it.
[students gasping]
Saved you.
[girl] That dress is wrecked.
[students gasping
and murmuring]
Now you know
what it feels like...
assholes.
[fire alarm blaring]
[all screaming]
How could you
do this to me?
I never did anything
to you.
It wasn't supposed to
go down like that.
It wasn't supposed
to be you.
[Maddy] You blame your entire
shitty high school experience
on me as if you being
a loser is my fault.
You just stood on the
sidelines judging me,
thinking you were better
than me.
Right. I'm sorry.
Sorry's not good enough.
Are you kidding me?
Tighty lives.
[students laughing]
[boy] Tighty's back!
[laughter and jeering]
Enough!
I'm sorry, Maddy.
But this is all on you.
What?
I didn't even
do anything.
Exactly.
You never do anything.
Which is exactly why
guys like Kane
think it's okay to
torment us endlessly.
Because there are no
consequences to their actions.
You stay their friend.
You go to their parties.
You become their girlfriend
or boyfriend.
You stand idly by like
citizens of a war who believe
they have no blame
for the atrocities
that happen in high school.
So, yeah,
we ruined your night.
So what?
We didn't
shoot up the school,
none of us
committed suicide.
Even though we may
have thought of it
just because of the way
you treat us.
And the saddest
part is that
most of us just wish
you liked us.
We even fall in love
with you.
We all grew up together.
The only people
in our entire lives
we'll be able to
say that about.
And here we are, using all these
new forms of communication
not to bring us all together,
but to rip each other apart.
Movies have been made
for decades
about how cruel we are
to each other.
And we can relate.
Just nothing ever happens.
High school is just
a popularity contest.
But for some reason,
that's not good enough.
So we created an actual
popularity contest...
for prom king and queen.
To verify just how unpopular
the rest of us are.
What is up with that?
Prom.
[in normal voice]
Fuck the prom!
Yeah, fuck the prom.
Fuck the prom!
Yeah, fuck the prom.
Fuck the prom.
Fuck the prom.
Fuck the prom.
[all chanting]
Fuck the prom.
Fuck the prom.
Fuck the prom.
Fuck the prom.
Fuck the prom.
Fuck the prom.
Fuck the prom.
Fuck the prom.
Fuck the prom.
- [dance music playing]
- [all cheering]
Wait, can we have a second?
Make it quick.
I knew this would happen.
We didn't even
get to dance.
I've told you.
I'm shomer. I can't...
[cop] All right,
that's enough.
That's enough.
Back up. Back up.
You're gonna be in the sex offender
list for the rest of your life, kid.
Definitely worth it.
[romantic music playing]
Do you wanna dance?
Sure.
No. I'm sorry.
Can't... Can't do it.
Nope, can't do it.
[boy] Felicity.
Felicity.
Felicity Stufts.
You don't respond to
your own name anymore?
Well, no one's called
me that since...
[sighs] Well, you.
Dance with me, Felicity.
You wanna dance?
Yes!
Let's go.
Cole, can we talk?
[camera clicks]
Moments like these
should remain unfiltered.
Right?
[grunting]
Well, they let me out
on probation,
but I'm on the sex offenders
list indefinitely.
Let's discuss the fact
that we're trending.
Fuck the prom.
So awesome.
Why wasn't I
speaking before?
[girl] Oh, my God.
Maddy's hair.
[boy] This is
the same hairstyle...
[girl gasps]
[boy] That hair, though.
The hair, it's the same!
[students speak indistinctly]
Dadner.
Cole, wait.
Just give him a few
more days to cool off.
Yeah.
[knock on door]
Well, hello.
To what do I
owe the pleasure?
[sighs] Is Cole here?
He's probably up playing
68 sided dice game somewhere.
Perfect. Can I come in?
I'm looking for something.
Yeah.
Oh, and do you know what
school Cole's art show is for?
[Ken] I don't care.
Tuck me in
And turn me on
Sight seeing
Set off like a bomb
You gotta take
You gotta take sometime
You gotta wake
You gotta wake up sometime
[Statszill] Cole Reed.
Yeah!
Kane Heely.
Felicity Stufts.
TJ...
Brian Hertsenburg.
Larry Max.
Abby Klein.
Emile Clan.
Also, I love talking.
Whoo!
Maddy "the bomb" Dadner.
Whoo!
[cheering]
[Christine] That's my girl!
You know, you may have cleaned
up your act a little bit,
but I still think
you're weird.
Oh, said the lonely perv.
True.
[all cheering]
So you got in.
So I did.
[chuckles]
When do you leave?
Right now.
Yeah, it starts
this weekend.
Are we gonna make
one of those stupid
high-school-best-friend-pacts
to keep in touch?
I mean, if that's what
you need to
protect your
vulnerable feelings.
Me? Vulnerable?
Mr. I-Made-A-Speech-At-Prom-
With-My-Pants-Around-My-Ankles.
Says Ms. I-Saved-My-Ex-Bf-
Who-Used-To-Give-Me-Rubber-Bands.
Shut up.
Thank you for...
not making high school
completely suck.
Are we supposed to
hug now or something?
All right, guys.
Selfie time.
I thought once your
hair got boring
you didn't care
about selfies, Dadner.
Shut up and
get in the picture.
Sorry, I'm out.
Wait, what?
How come?
- Okay.
- Gotta go.
Dude, you're just
gonna leave?
Leave me hanging?
Come on. Come on, Cole.
Cole.
I gotta go, guys.
- Maddy, come on.
- Gosh.
Cole...
Dude, I don't know how you
haven't figured this out yet,
but Maddy's the whole reason
you got into art school.
What are you talking about?
She was the one that sent your
portfolio to Head of Admissions.
How do you not
know this?
Because nobody
told me that.
Oh, my God.
You are such a dumb boy.
Thank God I'm off to college
where real men await.
What am I supposed
to do?
Thank her?
[doorbell rings]
Hey.
Can we talk?
Yeah, of course.
I owe you
a huge thank you.
Huh. For what?
Being a terrible friend,
or for ruining your prom?
You know exactly what
I'm talking about.
Cole, you're one of the most
incredible people I've ever met.
Not to mention hands down
most talented.
I could't live with myself
if you didn't make it into your
dream school because of me.
What's this?
A going away present.
But you're the one moving.
Should I have given you a gift?
You already have.
Come on, open it.
[sentimental music]
It says you love me.
Is that real, or is that
just the story?
It's not fiction.
We shouldn't...
Can't you stay till
the end of summer,
before school starts?
I don't think so.
Things got so intense
between us so quickly,
I think it might be best
if we're just friends.
Yeah, you're probably right.
Do you think college will
be easier than high school?
I hope so.
So, what do we do now?
[soft rock music playing]