F*** You All: The Uwe Boll Story (2018) Movie Script

I'm Uwe Boll, shut the fuck
up during the movie.
See, this happens
when you don't shut up.
Insulting, irreverent,
politically incorrect.
He may be the most honest
and most badass director
in Hollywood.
There is a movie director, uh,
who gets hammered by the critics
all the time.
Why somebody with such
a lack of talent,
would even enter this field?
He's fascinating really.
Probably one of the most
prolific filmmakers
there are right now.
Terrible movie after
terrible movie.
Yet, he keeps making millions.
Yes, this is true; He's
considered by many to be
the worst director
working today.
The worst of the worst all
have one thing in common,
they were made by one man.
The biggest hack filmmaker
on the planet.
He is so reviled and so
hated and notorious.
He is just a lunatic.
He is one of the most original
and hardworking
filmmakers around.
He's become, I think,
a real force
to be reckoned with
outside of Hollywood.
[dark foreboding music]
Ah, basically my message is
"fuck yourself".
You know what that is, that is
the Hollywood reporter, right?
Look at them.
They're all laughing and
smiling, all your idols.
You wanna be like them, right?
And you know what
they are doing?
They are laughing about you.
That is the film business, it's
like a dirty pieces of shit
and I never played that game.
I made movies and focus
on the movies, right?
That is, uh, uh, how
I operate, you know.
It is so pissing me off how
fake that business is, but also
how the young people of today
falling in the fucking trap
because they're all stupid, you
know, like, wake the fuck up.
Ironman is not existing,
the Avengers are not existing!
These are fucking retarded
idiots and Robert Downey Jr.
And all that people, yeah,
they are idiots, uh, you know
idiots, not idiots, they just
grab the money and they're
laughing their asses off.
That is the most bullshit
business with bullshit idiots,
one after the other, lined up
behind each other, you know.
They are all fucking each other
in the asses and nobody
makes any decisions.
All the actors ever worked with,
Ben Kingsley or whatever
are fucking pussies,
nothing else.
They are in the assholes of
the managers of the agents,
and publicists, and attorneys
that protect them,
that, it's so fake and absurd
that I really, really wish that
they would get fucking
wiped out.
And I have enough money
to play golf till I'm dead.
So, goodbye and
goodbye Hollywood.
[dark ominous music]
I suppose I may have
tampered with the king's food.
You've poisoned me,
you've killed me.
- Don't be so melodramatic.
- No!
It's nothing that
can't be fixed.
[dark suspenseful music]
You guys, check this out.
It's a warning.
What's the warning?
It says once you make
it down here alive,
you're already dead.
[soft pensive music]
I was never really into
creating an image for myself.
It just happened, you know,
I made, like, movies
then I got first nobody cared,
then I got really bad reviews
and everybody cared about
the really bad reviews
and then you get all that
press because you're the worst
director of all times.
That, I mean,
it's more important, uh,
I think, to do stuff as long as
you can, you know.
And not really to worry about
what the people think about you.
I think that is, uh...
It's just a waste of time.
Honestly, we just liked making
movies and, you know,
the crew loved him.
But I'm sure people see those
movies and look down on them
but, at the same time, there's
a lot of bad movies made.
I've done 20 movies with Uwe
and everyone was fun.
He's funny and he's smart.
He's just a really good person.
I know I've done over 10.
Uwe and I got along right away.
On Sanctimony, it was the
first time I worked with Uwe,
and we became friends.
I think it was Uwe's first
American film
and when I found out that he was
a doctor of German literature
and had his masters in economics
I knew he was a brilliant guy.
And he was into food and movies,
so we had a lot in common.
I found him an efficient
director and a clear director,
and that, to me,
is the best combination.
If he called me today and had
scale money, just bottom of the-
you know, I gotta work union,
but if there's some sort of way,
I would, anything,
I would work for Uwe.
He's a bit of a wild man.
I've known him for
almost 20 years.
I've done nine movies with him
and I've seen different
incarnations of him.
I've seen him evolve
over the years.
I fell in love with him
on the first movie.
He's just a character who
knows what he wants
and doesn't really care
what it takes to get there.
He gives you the tools to
do it and just expects it.
Anybody that says they
hate Uwe Boll
doesn't know Uwe Boll.
If they know Uwe Boll,
they would love him.
He's a lovable guy;
He's a really nice guy.
He's no bullshit,
he tells you like it is.
When I first met Uwe,
I had no idea of his reputation.
My mom actually was like, oh,
I'm going to search him up.
And then I had like 25
missed calls.
Then I call her and I'm like
what's going on, what happened?
And she's like, I Googled Uwe
and did you know he's
called the Raging Boll?
Oh my God, what if he has a
temper or something?
And I was like, mom, like
he's the most like chill guy.
I just found that his family
values and his family in Germany
is really wonderful, like, his
brother and his mother and um...
It was the sex.
You should have to say the
truth, and what was really the...
This is why I sensor him
all the time.
Yeah, I growed up in a
small town, Burscheid,
'65 born, there was
no private TV.
There was no cable TV,
no internet.
So, you grow up outside, mostly,
playing soccer,
going in a forest,
playing with other kids.
There was no concerns at
that point from parents, like,
you know, when you were six
years old, you could like just
get out of the house and play
for five hours and nobody cared.
But there was a lot of times
also alone with myself
playing with my toys,
creating my own little world.
My grandparents lived in the
same house, like my parents.
My mother was a housewife
and father was working.
When he was young he was an
extremely good handball player
and a German champion with
his team, Leverkusen.
I played handball,
I played soccer,
and so he was always yelling
around and giving my brother
and me shit, what losers we
are, basically.
And uh...
So, there is...
Yeah, he was more like this,
kind of, aggressive person.
He never hit me or something,
but he yelled at us, daily.
Where the fuck is this?
Where the fuck is this!
It was the whole time like this.
And my mother is very sweet,
we always had dogs.
So she was the good soul
of the family.
And, yeah, it was like more,
on a distance, you know,
like when I see, now, me
with my kids interacting,
you know like, whatever, we, we,
we play together, I read books
for them, we go to bubble bath
together, like, stuff like this,
my father, [chuckles] I don't
think he ever read a book to me
or ever in a way, uh,
played with us.
You know, like, with lego
or something.
That never really happened.
And that was my mother's
turn to do stuff like this.
So my brother and I discussed
a lot of things when my father
died last year and it was this,
kind of, that is the reason
we don't need this kind of
"I missed you" or something.
It's just we meet each other
and we say whatever like...
"Hi, fuck-face", and then
we start talking, but it's not,
it's not in me to be
like really,
um close to people in a way.
As other people would say,
I'm like, yelling around but,
but that is not yelling around;
That is for me to totally normal
normal behavior, how I
always growed up and talk.
There was no please and
thank you and you're welcome
in my family, it was just not in
our, in our language.
There was, like, for a
single dollar or whatever,
a German market, at that point,
you could watch a matinee shows
Sunday mornings and I, and
my parents let me go there.
I was like eight, nine or 10
years old and I watched.
Dr. Zhivago, Sparticus,
all that classics.
There, I started loving movies
and the other kids were not
allowed to go there and so,
I watched all that movies
and told the stories, elaborated
like, big speeches about
the movies to my friends
And turned, really,
into a story teller, right?
And I think that was
the beginning.
And then I told my mother I
really want to make movies later
but nobody took it serious,
of course.
And then I kept going,
basically, right?
So then when you had a chance
with super eight millimeter
to film something.
That digital world from today
was not existing.
So it was harder to get
something filmed,
to do something, and it
was more expensive, you know.
So, I think what was a big
help at that point was that
I met, I was like 11 years old,
I met Frank Lustig in my school.
He wanted to make films and
his parents had more money
as my parents, and he always
got the new stuff,
Beta, Beta Max.
And then when we started
having some video equipment,
we started filming all
kinds of stuff.
I think it was gold to have
somebody who wanted to
make movies too, because
then you fire yourself up.
You discuss about movies,
you discuss directors,
you discuss everything and
you're also more motivated
as you would be all alone
to actually proceed
with filmmaking.
Very adventurous, at that point.
We basically said let's make a
real movie with real equipment
like 16 millimeter or 35
millimeter, if possible.
Then we have something we
can actually try to sell or
we can show and movie
theaters and stuff like this.
So, 1991, I did
"German Fried Movie".
That was the first real
feature film I did.
We coming from Leverkusen
and Burscheid, by Cologne,
you didn't had a big film
community or something.
It was like basically you had to
go to schools, theater schools,
to get actors.
You try to convince him to
play for free or to do it
for 50 bucks or something
like this.
So that was all learning by
doing, in a way, and uh,
yeah, that was the early,
the early film making times
and it was very, maybe it was,
in the beginning,
not professional, you know,
like, because you have so much
in your mind that to really
focus on, okay, now I calm down
and I direct that scene and
I don't think about
something else.
That, definitely, in
"German Fried movie",
was not the case.
So the directing was,
a lot of times, a side effect
of a scene after you...
You were able to pull it off.
So "German Fried movie"
was finally finished,
we got some good reviews,
ut the video company, UFA,
is a huge one in Germany an
they bought the video rights
and they gave us 150,000
for the next movie.
So, an advance for
a political thriller,
Barschel: Murder in Geneva,
about the real German prime
minister who was found dead
1987 in a, in a hotel room
in Switzerland.
So, but that movie failed.
We had 50,000 bucks left
and Frank Lustig said
you can do whatever you want
with the money, and I said shoot
another movie, "Run Amok"
but was a very harsh
serial murder movie.
And then, I saw that as
the end of my career
and that is the way I made
the movie too.
It's very, let's say, slow
motion, big bombastic score.
It's my farewell,
basically, already.
But I felt, as a director,
my career is basically over
and I saw the, the German
film funds
raising money,
going to Hollywood.
Like basically, that is what
I want always wanted to do.
I wanted to do English-speaking,
genre movies, Hollywood movies,
the movies I growed up with.
[electronic music]
Uwe came to make a
movie in Vancouver,
I guess, coming on 20 years ago
called Sanctimony.
So he came to Vancouver,
he said back then to, he said,
I came to Canada to make
American movies.
From a producing perspective,
I was moderately new, maybe.
I might've produced five
or 10 movies at that point.
And he directed a number
of films and so he'd been
in the industry in
Germany for a while.
So both of us we're mildly
experienced, but it was his
first film and sort of the
North American market
and working with North American
distributors and producers
and partners that
were non-German.
He was just some crazy German,
none of us had heard of him so,
it was a crazy show.
I mean, the script was bizarre.
I think it was translated from
German and maybe not
the best translation so,
lot of it didn't make sense.
But everyone liked his style
and he was definitely into
trying new things and, you know,
it was a good experience.
He showed up three days
before filming.
He didn't go to any of the tech
surveys and didn't do any
of the preps, so we
prepped remotely by email.
And the script was, I didn't
know what to expect because
the script was a bunch of,
that he wrote himself.
It was a bunch of lines from
dialogue from Lethal Weapon
and dialogue from Terminator
and dialogue from all these.
English movies because he
didn't speak English,
so when he got here, I didn't
know how he was gonna...
Gonna react.
He had his own way of,
I mean making films in Europe
is different.
So he came in with different
expectations than
[chuckles] than many
of the people we work with.
And he has a different way
of working.
And one is, for example,
you wait very long
till you offer money to the
actors, so you wait like
three weeks before you
start shooting.
You go the agencies and you
say, look who has a job now
and who not and then you
will make an offer to somebody
who knows he will not get
a better offer for a movie
starting in three weeks.
And this is a good strategy if
you basically don't give a shit
who's in your movies. [Laughs]
You know, shouting at the
makeup girls for taking too long.
He just, he was used to a
smaller guerrilla style, I think
and things moving faster
and you know, he had to
adjust to that but once he saw
the product, I think he
calmed down a little.
He came around and it
was a bit challenging for him
because he expected a crew
of 40 or so and not a crew
of 80 to 100.
So that was different.
Once he sort of embraced
that and got into the,
you know the efficiencies that
we have in making films
in North America, he fully
embraced it
and became quite
successful with it.
He is a great producer,
he's great at getting money,
he's getting people to invest
in him, it's easy for him.
He can just get millions and
millions of dollars,
and he's done it,
to make movies.
He likes being the director,
not so much doing
the directing job.
And party time!
[playful music]
The way she will cut this
into the movie,
I'm sure I can use it for my
private but... [chuckles]
- Okay, cut.
- Cut!
[snickers] [muffled chatter]
Oh boy, I worked with
Uwe Boll on Blackwoods.
I went up to Vancouver
and worked and had
a really good time.
I was in Blackwoods,
I was in Home Room.
House to the Dead was
the first time I saw Uwe
in full Uwe Boll form and it
was an amazing experience
to watch him.
Ah, so did you get a good
peek there, Kirk?
I'm wanna give this to ya.
Uwe is [chuckles], he's larger
than life, you know.
I mean, a lot of directors,
I think, don't have as much
personality as Uwe does.
Like Uwe almost should
have been an actor,
you know like a star.
He's really loud and very
opinionated and he says
whatever he's thinking,
like there's just no filter.
Don't ask what your
country can do for you,
and don't ask what you can
do for your country,
ask what you can do for me.
You like, love him and hate
him all at the same time.
You're like, you hear him talk
and I would be like,
"I fucking hate you".
And then like the next,
you know, night
we're drinking beers and talking
about something stupid.
Love him or hate him,
I think, he definitely, like,
leaves an impression.
So, I mean, I love the guy.
I've also just like fucking
hated him, but like...
There's still a weirdo in
there that like, you know,
I understood and got along with.
You know there are some
directors will show up on
the set and they want to work
with the actors and bring out
the performance;
He's not like that.
And a lot of that is bullshit,
you know, he's not one of
these you guys who say:
Are you okay, are you alright?
Do you want another one,
can I get another one?
He's not like that, he goes:
"Okay, we got it, moving on."
"Okay we're moving on. Move
your fucking camera, come on,"
"get inside the cave."
"I don't want, no, we
have enough of this."
You know, he's not one
of these gentle guys.
No, no, no!
Now, keep it in your hand
like this, hold it up;
Both hands hold it up.
So, he moves back, you go
here, you move forward.
He moves back because he
has the advantage now.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
You stop here, boom,
he pulls out the knife.
The guy comes from behind, boom!
Yeah, wait, so it sprays in
his face distracts him quick.
She turns back with,
hits the guy, right?
So, the guy is knocked out
on the ground now he attacks
with a knife, wham!
He goes on his knees,
whack, impaling.
So work on the timing, Larry,
but this is the work.
He's upfront, I mean,
you're never wondering
what he's thinking because
it just comes out of his mouth
whether he wants it or not.
And, you know, if he does
something you don't like,
you can say "Fuck you, Uwe!"
and he's okay with that.
You know, you don't have to
tiptoe around the guy.
So, you know, there's a
transparency that isn't there
a lot in this business.
And I think people
appreciate that.
I love that Uwe is opinionated
and I love that Uwe
speaks his mind.
[screams] [suspenseful music]
What are you doing;
That's not scary.
- Oh god, that sucks.
- Sorry.
Action! [Suspenseful music]
Cut; Really Shiza?
Shiza, Shiza, Shiza.
- When something doesn't work,
he'll go: "This is shit!"
Or if somebody is taking a long
time trying to do their craft
to get the shot right, he'll
notice "Why aren't we shooting?"
"We shoot now".
That's one of the reasons
why I like him.
I liked the fact that he is
candid and I liked the fact that
at the drop of a hat,
he'll call a spade a spade.
I don't have a lot of respect.
In general, to other people.
That means not I
disrespect people, right?
But I also never see
somebody above me.
You know, I can, I will not say,
you're Will Smith,
you're above me, or if I meet
Tom Cruise, I would tell him
like how stupid Scientology is
and what a fucking retard he is.
So, you know, so like I insulted
a lot of people in my career
because I didn't respect
their authority.
A lot of people he has
no respect for.
There's a small amount of people
that he was doing these movies
for and the other people can...
Who gives a shit?
I was never really an outgoing
person, a person who wanted
to live in Hollywood and go
to all the parties or something.
This was like, the opposite to
what I always wanted.
So I did it the way
I wanted it, yeah!
And I think, a lot of chances to
be more in that studio system,
I left.
It's unclear to me, even
knowing Uwe as well as I have
for the last 20 years, that when
he's, when it's honest and true
and when it's a bit of a game
for him to get some press.
So it's hard to know when
he's playing the villain card
and when he's being
sincere in his tirades.
Eli Roth making the same shitty
movies over and over again.
If you really look at my movies,
you will see my real genius.
I'm the only genius in the
whole fucking business.
You use your fucking brain to
what makes sense or not?
You could omit the whole
fucking Bible.
Michael Bay, the new
Transformers movies showed
again that you have no
fucking talent at all.
All the dialogue is retarded.
You lead your actors like
fucking stupid idiots.
I will make that movie
10 times better as you.
Uwe, if this is were Michael
Bay, and who says it's not,
what would you do to him?
Yeah, let's see.
- Hello, Mike.
No, I would... [thuds]
Oh! [Yells]
Tony Scott, for example,
I think, is a guy who made
totally crappy movie because
people get sloppy, he's a loser.
I had an agent for three weeks
and then, I said like,
fuck yourself.
I cannot believe that not more
people agree with my opinion.
Well, he's this tough
belligerent guy,
but he's likable because
he's so blunt.
And, you know, this is a
town full of phonies, L.A., so
a guy like Uwe who is so blunt
and tells you what he thinks,
is refreshing.
Sir, sir...
Oh no, no, no, no!
What the fuck are you doing?
You have to wait for him till
he says the lines,
then you pull out the key
and you show it to him.
And then you keep going with it.
You know, I cannot let
things go.
Like, if people are pissing me
off or betray me or whatever,
I try to go after them.
I don't forget things.
And I am, as a filmmaker,
focused on moving the story along,
moving the shoot long, getting
like, being efficient too,
like using things, what setups
to the maximum point,
you can use it.
So, in a way, I'm a producer-
friendly filmmaker.
That has to do with
I am my own producer.
So, there is no personal message
in Alone in The Dark,
BloodRayne, In the Name of
the King, Far Cry, you know.
That is the thing.
It's like, I think I did, as a
filmmaker, maybe 10 movies
that are really close to me
and really like my message
to the world and I did 22
movies, I just did because
I had the opportunity to do
them and was able to do them.
I think there was a period
of time where he was making
those kinds of movies and
that just became his identity
and what people knew him for
or these sort of big, rambling,
sort of huge set piece movies
that like, really sort of were
a hard follow in their plot.
He didn't navigate Hollywood
in the normal way and you know,
I tried and tried but Uwe
was challenging for me
in that he's got such a strong
vision in such a unique way
of working that it meant that
things wouldn't always work
within the normal Hollywood
system and I think he
embraced that, he didn't like
the normal Hollywood system.
He didn't like the normal sales
and distribution systems.
So he created his own.
I mean, listen, he delivered.
He was borrowing money
from, you know, film funds
and borrowing money from
people that invested in movies.
But hey, Uwe will say, you know,
his movies grossed around
the world X amount of dollars
and that's really what
the game is about.
I was always basically full
responsible for my movies
from A to Zed and they never
had anybody who could actually
veto something, what I said.
So, that sounds like great.
You have all the responsibility,
you get all the blame,
you have all the financial risk
and financial responsibility.
And that is, of course,
troubling, right?
So it's like nerve-wracking
and it's different to
your hired director, you don't
pay the bills and this kind of,
it's a different world,
He is a, he's a guy that is,
thinks way ahead of
what he's doing at the time
always, he's always planning
his next day, his next movie,
his next decade.
He's always got something
on the go.
The actual shoots,
I never had a problem.
You know, like, I mean,
every daily problems
we solve and, for me, shooting
a movie was never this kind of
nerve-wracking experience
what most of the people had
because I felt the hard part
to raise the money or whatever,
I did that.
Yeah, so I went through hell
to make it happen
and then, when I finally
made it happen,
I felt good. [Chuckles]
He's an amazing businessman
and I think, producing-wise,
that's where his talents lie.
So he was always thinking, like,
how am I going to fund
my next film, how am I
going to get money?
And that's where,
you know, he's brilliant.
That main goal I had in
life, making movies,
I totally achieved it.
I just focused on it and went...
Went for it and made it happen.
And that is a lot of times,
not really the... yeah.
A lot of people cannot do this.
We started with
House of the Dead and.
House of the Dead actually
worked and made money,
so that made us making more
of them, you know, so more
video game based movies,
trying to get bigger licenses
from games that were more
successful, you know.
And um... but it not always,
as we know, it doesn't really
translate a lot.
Cut him loose.
No, I cannot do that
without sedating him.
He would kill everyone in this
room including me.
You're making brainless
[zaps] [screams]
[suspenseful music] [thuds]
They're very much their
own medium.
Their own narrative structures,
how they're structure,
character development,
and playing games,
working in games you get to
see like it's a very different
rhythm which means you have
to come at them at a little bit
differently when you want
to translate into anything.
He felt he had a kind of an in
with video gamers and there
was really nobody that's going
to be able to do a good movie
about a video game.
Video gamers are very passionate
and they'll eat you alive,
and they did.
Again, you know
how opinions are.
Everybody's got one.
Especially the guy who
ain't doing it.
If bad films were crimes,
Uwe Boll would be
public enemy number one.
This is it; This is the
apex of shitty movies
that we've seen.
I've tried every week I come in
here and try to find
a silver lining, there just
isn't one and I hate being this
unmitigated cynicism around
a film, but this is unwatchable.
Like, the movie starts
and I'm like, I hate it.
I hate it already.
Why don't you try, in the
future, making a movie
that's worth a fuck!
I hope you are laughed straight
into your fucking grave,
you miserable piece of garbage.
You're trash, Uwe.
Dude, your movies fucking
suck and you are a horrible,
horrible, if not the worst,
director of this era.
Why the fuck is this guy
a director, seriously?
I mean, whatever he touches
fucking falls down.
This guy's a fucking hack,
he is a piece of dog shit.
Somebody should knock
you the fuck out.
Oh, fuck that movie, man,
fuck that movie.
This was literally one of the
worst, no, is the worst fucking
comedy I've ever seen in
my fucking life.
Fuck you, Uwe, suck on my dick.
[dark foreboding music]
You know there's guys that are
out there that have petitions
against you making video
game movies.
Is that, do just say okay, well,
I don't care, I'm sorry?
Look, I've come from nowhere,
I make independent movies
since 1991 without money, I'm
not a part of the Hollywood
system and so I'm basically
a lot like a film geek
and I look into the message
boards, I look into the critics
and I want to convince
the game fans.
But if you play a game, week
after week, whatever you built
your own movie in your head,
it's tough to convince this
special fan of that video game,
that it's a great movie.
And one night we were all
just sitting around drinking
and a couple of the guys I was
with had actually worked on
some of the IPs that had
been turned into movies.
So I thought, well hell, I'll
just jump on and I'll just write
a quick petition and I'll send
them to send over to these guys.
So nothing else I can see like,
hey, you know, a written
middle finger to this guy who
had kind of just taken an IP
they'd worked on and just
run it through the mud.
And, all of a sudden, I get a
phone call from a reporter
from New York Times and so,
this reporter had to
walk me through, he's like
"Oh yeah, this horror film site"
"was interviewing him and
mentioned it and he offered"
"challenges that if it hit a
million signatures, he'd quit."
The last I looked at the
petition, he'd maybe had
a couple hundred signatures
and here, all of a sudden,
I'm pulling the petition up
and it's got 100,000 signatures.
And that was just, it was
surreal, in the moment.
And at that point, I talked to
New York Times,
Harper's magazine called,
various independent blogs
and like horror movie sites
try to get ahold of me
and I had no idea what was
really going on with this
and here it was causing
this chaos.
Yes, there was an online
petition to stop,
I should stop making movies
and it got so many people
signing because you got free
chewing gum.
There was a chewing gum
company sponsoring it.
So you've got a free pack of
gum if you signed the petition.
When I did the pro ball
petition, we got way less votes
but we also had nothing to
offer, so [chuckles]
You know, so yeah.
But it was also another PR
campaign saying basically
for the Boll haters.
[slow pensive music]
No, I think I was not under
the radar of critics till.
House of the Dead.
They really didn't care about
me, didn't write about me
that they didn't recognize
me in America.
And then House of the Dead was
the first real release,
a theatrical, and then they
hated the movie
and then they looked out for
the next movie what I am doing
and that was Alone in the Dark
and they hated that too.
And then it started.
And yeah, I mean, in the
beginning, you laugh about it
and you're saying it's idiotic.
I still think it's idiotic but
what happens then is,
that was the trademark.
I mean, I make the worst movie
possible so that the next movie
can be only better;
It's a the strategy.
That was the reason I got better
and better and better
because I started so low.
His movies are shit; He'll
admit that the quality is,
you know, maybe not quite up to
speed but so is his competition.
He doesn't understand that,
why the studios can make shit
and get away with it and he
makes shit and everybody
jumps on it.
He's an enigma because
he's a great student of film.
He loves movies, he can
critique any movie,
he knows what's good about
movie, what's great about
a movie and what's bad
about a movie.
And his problem is he doesn't
seem to be able to implement it
in his movies.
And I just, there's a disconnect
there from what his knowledge is
and what he can do.
Now, in a town where everyone
wants a nomination,
here's one no one knows.
The award show dedicated to
movies as wasted two hours
of our lives.
I have gotten a lot of
awards but I've never
been selected the worst anything
and I got worst supporting actor
in a motion picture.
- So what do I get this for?
- For Daredevil and Gigli.
You took an ad out in
the Trades, yes.
The Razzie Awards are the
opposite of, I like to say,
the 357 other awards that
happen every year.
We're at the other end
of the scale.
It's the worst achievements
in film and, I must say,
we have a lot more choices
than the other guys, most years.
The first time that Uwe was
nominated was.
Alone in the Dark.
- Edward!
- God, I missed you.
[punches] [grunts]
I thought you were dead,
you asshole.
I believe he was nominated for
worst director four
or five times.
And then he did also win a worst
career achievement award,
which he very humorously
He did a video that he sent us
from some film location
in Africa.
[slow drum music]
Ah fuck, you found me.
Yeah, dear Razzie assholes,
you see, I moved actually
to Darfur, Sudan because you
finished me up, you destroyed
my life, my business,
everything, with your shitty.
Razzie nominations.
Go back to your fucking stupid
Starbucks in West Hollywood,
you prick.
I have to say, of all the
people who's films we have
nominated and awarded over
the years, I think he's just,
he does not display a talent
for camera placement,
for directing actors, for
script, for plot, for dialogue,
for casting, for any of the
things that directors should
know how to do.
All my movies always were
technical well made.
That is the same when they're
always said like amateurish,
BC movies, Ed wood blah, blah,
blah... it's just not true.
Everybody who worked on my
movies in the technical crew,
they're all from Vancouver,
top block people.
So, you know, it's completely
absurd to say, they do X-Men
and then they do BloodRayne
and now they're turning into
a total idiots who doesn't know
how to put a light up or to edit
a movie or whatsoever.
The fact is that all Uwe Boll
movies are shown, basically,
on every country in the world
and not a lot of movies are
getting sold to Japan, Korea,
Thailand, Argentina, Brazil,
Poland, whatever, right?
And I sold all my movies
basically everywhere.
Because they're so shitty
from the worst director ever?
I mean like that is the thing
there are thousands of movies,
they stay unsold in any
territory and getting posted
on YouTube instead.
Yeah, so, it's of course
completely absurd to think
I'm the worst director ever.
I would say my reviews of his
stuff were all over the place.
I mean House of the Dead
is just terrible and I think
that's the first one everyone
saw and I think he has ambition
and he has a point of view in
mind, which makes him a better
filmmaker than some other
bad ones.
He just, genuinely,
isn't very good.
Game over, fucker.
And I think, like a lot of
student filmmakers,
he convinces himself that
it's good enough and that
he's done the best he could,
but there are still some
glaring problems a lot of times.
Usually, on a movie set,
there's an argument that
goes on between the
producer and the director.
The director wants more time
for more quality.
He wants to be able to look
for the nuances and find
the little nuggets.
The producer is saying, "We
don't have time, we don't"
"have money, you gotta
shoot quicker."
Well, that conversation
happens inside of Uwe's head
and the producer wins.
So when in doubt shoot it,
and when in doubt,
do it as cheaply as possible,
it doesn't really matter.
Uwe doesn't screw things
up himself on purpose.
I mean I think it's Uwe's... that
fight with the producer/director
and trying to do it for the
dollar and then he realizes that
a lot of movies aren't that good
and there's a quality issue.
It's better to make one
that's just okay
then wait around, wait around
and wait around and to try to
do something brilliant.
You know, I'm always about
the script and I think the ones
where we had the better scripts
are the more solid projects.
The ones that were, some of
them didn't even have scripts,
they just had a treatment.
Which is a nice experiment but
the outcome is not always
that satisfying.
My uncle, he's a sailor and
he once told me of a place
where people play all day
and the trees grow fruits
in every color of the rainbow
and the sunsets
set the whole sky on fire.
Doesn't it sound wonderful,
He'll send for us soon,
I know it!
I got a call from my manager
saying there's a guy who wants
to make a movie based on a
video game about vampires.
So I, literally, wrote something
in a day, just a treatment.
And he liked it.
So I'm like, okay, now I'm
going to write this movie.
I was about two weeks late
delivering my draft and
that meant that Mr. Boll called
me and just screamed at me,
"You lied to me, this is
disgusting, I'll never believe
anything you say!"
I was like "Uh, wow, that is
the last conversation"
"I'm ever going to have
with this man".
Writers deliver screenplays
like a year late.
Two weeks is nothing.
But, I did deliver it
but what I didn't know
was that he had an entire
crew in Romania just waiting
for my first draft.
I was just like, it's what,
you're going into...
It's a first draft!
Like that's, like that's sort
of like the naked onstage
in your high school kind
of dream that you have.
Like somebody actually takes
your first draft and makes it
into a movie.
And then, the day before the
premier, the producer called me
and he said, "I just want to
warn you that"
"there's been some rewrites.
"Uwe took a crack at it, no,
Uwe did a rewrite,"
"and then he let the actors
take a crack at it."
Which is like saying "And then,
the Dolly grip was like, hey",
I got an idea".
Like, it's not like a communal
process, writing a screenplay.
So he just warned, he warned
me, like, you know,
just be prepared it might,
you might not, there might be
some things in there that
you didn't write.
[whispers] What?
Really about 20% of what I
wrote ended up on the screen.
And hey, Billy Zane, what the
fuck are you doing
in this movie?
That's a character that I did
not write and did not exist.
It's like Billy Zane was in a bar
in Romania and they were just like,
hey Billy Zane, wanna be in this
movie; Here, put on this wig,
say some random shit.
But it actually makes the entire
plot of the movie make no sense.
It was hanging on by a thread
anyway but there was
a logic to it.
People did not like it, people
did not think it made sense.
People continually speculated
about me as a writer.
I don't know if you know this,
but I won a Razzie.
And I'm like, you know what,
if I'm going to do something,
I'm gonna go all the way.
I got an award for that shit.
But I got paid all of it, all at
once, wired into my bank,
which, I have to say,
was also a deciding factor.
He should care more about
the script and the story
and he doesn't.
He just, he gets the idea,
he gets the property
and gets the money and
just starts right away.
So I don't, I haven't worked
on a Uwe Boll movie yet
that the script's been ready,
even Postal.
I did that, was my first draft
and we shot the first draft.
The structure of the German
investments was very limited,
in a way, you had to raise the
money and spend the money
in the same year.
So you just don't have the time
to prep and write 18 different
versions of a script.
So you were kind of stranded
in, okay, you have a script,
you'll maybe revise it within
a week or two, but then
you have to go and prep,
you have to start shooting.
Otherwise that the investors
would never get the tax loss
on it, and then the whole
investment would totally
fall apart.
Uwe Boll would just set up
a couple of cameras and
he would shoot it in one
and the idea being, well,
we'll keep it fresh,
and keep it alive.
Well, what he's really doing
is just shooting fast.
A couple of things I've worked
on, you know, just if they would
have just been a little more
nuanced or maybe just had
a little more care taken to
them, they would have been
quite a bit better.
The cinematography, he calls
it combat documentary style
which is okay, but there's no,
like, beauty shots and you know,
camera angle, and lens size,
and camera movement,
can sometimes impact the story
and impact the audience.
Uwe doesn't believe in any of
that because he believes that
the material is of enough
Whether a sequence or a movie
needed handheld,
everything was handheld.
And I just felt, actually,
that's kind of genius
because, you know,
if it doesn't really matter.
I mean, I don't think that
because it was handheld
that alone keeps a movie
from elevating.
You have a little more
resources, if you have a little
more money, you can fix a few
problems as you're manufacturing
and Uwe doesn't really go
that way.
You know, Uwe, in fact,
one time Shawn Williamson,
it was on House of the Dead,
Shawn Williamson went up to Uwe
and said, "Boll we're a little
ahead of schedule and this is"
"in preproduction and we're doing
great, we're doing great with"
"the budget; How about we have
a writer, we bring a writer in"
"and do some rewrites, maybe
punch it up a little bit because"
"I think some of the actors
were kind of complaining that"
"maybe the material needed
some work."
And Uwe said
"No, the script is fine."
And... [groands]
You know, it was
House of the Dead.
When we were shooting
House of the Dead, at one point,
he threw the script out
and said, we're shooting
the video game, we're not
shooting the movie.
It became a very unique
situation that you don't see
very frequently in independent,
in any cinema, really.
[gun fires]
Some of these maybe aren't
as close to his heart,
you know what I mean?
There's, like, less, he has
less stock in them to be good.
In a lobby once after
work, he yelled at me.
He was like "You're ruining
my movie!"
And I was like, "Uwe you're
ruining your movie, man."
Like, I can't direct this for
you; Like, you know what I mean?
We're all out here, we don't
know what the fuck we're doing.
[thuds] [screams]
Who are you; I'll fucking...
This is what I do, tell me
who you are!
- Say it!
- Eagles Nest.
Eagles Nest,
Oh, the safe word.
That have could have been bad.
Uwe was doing a shot in
Blubberella, you know,
he's got video village, he's
standing there he's got
a monitor, he yells action,
he's reading a boxing magazine.
He's reading like the European
version of Ring magazine.
And I'm watching him because
I'm not in the shot.
He reads the boxing magazine,
he calls action.
His eyes do not lift up from the
magazine; The scene plays out
now, he can hear it.
He's maybe 20 feet away from the
actors, so he doesn't look up
and see the image, he doesn't
see the scene.
He yells cut when the dialogue
finishes, he asks Mathias,
"Was it good?"
And he yells print.
And the man did not look up
once from his boxing magazine.
So, whether that's confidence
or absurdity, I don't know what,
but Uwe's full of it.
It's hard to point to one
thing at any of his movies.
It's a death by a thousand cuts.
There's pieces here and there
that are just shy of where
it ought to be, and a madman's
trying to assemble the puzzle.
And it just doesn't play out.
There's very little redeeming
or actually entertaining
in his films.
Most other bad filmmakers,
at least you can have some fun
laughing at their shortcomings,
their ineptitude.
American audiences adore
Ed Wood.
And in part, it's because
of the sincerity
of his oafish filmmaking.
Uwe Boll was kind of like
somebody who walks into a room,
punches you in the face
and then says,
"What'd you think of that?"
Trying to navigate Hollywood
with him proved challenging
at times, yeah.
Uwe's got a very, very strong
sense of who he is and where
he thinks the world is,
and he's not shy at all
about expressing that.
And 99% of what Uwe's views,
I completely share it.
Ninety-nine percent of how he
gets it across, I disagree with.
So I'm very Canadian; I always
used to say I was the U.N. guy
with him, so I'd be wearing a
blue hat trying to navigate
the war zone and he was creating
the war zone for me often.
So when you're trying to deal
with agents and convince them
to put actors into movies and
they've recently read
an email thread or watched
a video of his,
it presented some
challenges in casting,
or in packaging or finding money
or distributors and things.
I had to be a bit more delicate
in what I did when we're trying
to attach cast.
Today we have, [clears throat]
the bordello steam room scene,
very erotic scene.
The actresses doesn't want to
be naked in front of everybody.
It's always very hard to
convince female actresses
to get naked.
They are all super prude; It was
funny with Tara Reid on.
Alone in the Dark like, she goes
almost naked to every party.
She goes to, [chuckles]
with dresses on where like
her tits hanging out but, in the
movie, a bad scene was where
she loses her bra,
like impossible,
but she doesn't want to do it.
So, this is absurdity of a lot
of, especially American woman.
Why are you not naked,
we are on set?
You were not in one fucking
movie completely naked.
- That's wrong, I have.
- Where, in what movie?
Um, I have done a nude scene
in millennium, the TV show.
- In what?
- In millennium, my first job.
- But that's TV.
- Yeah, it's TV but still.
I was like...
And then this Indie film that
I did in Spain.
Spanish, Indian...
This is what,
I represent the majority.
I did a lot of research the last
10 years, I know what
the majority wants to see,
at least on DVD.
We show tits and violence
because this counts,
this is what the fans
want to see.
I agree.
And look, more dialogue is not
good for the movie franchise.
He approaches his art
in a way that he would like
to make everyone the
most uncomfortable.
I don't know where half
of these ideas come from,
but I know half of them are
specifically designed
to piss people off.
I think because, the money,
for the movie comes from.
Uwe's film fund, he has no boss.
You know, so he doesn't have
that alternate point of view.
We had that BloodRayne
scene where in the middle
of scene where we needed
basically girl's playing topless,
like hookers, basically.
So and in Romania are
really everywhere hookers
on the streets, right?
So they're like 10 bucks
basically, you know,
so I felt like, why not hiring
them and saying here are
20 bucks and you just lays there
on the bed with meatloaf?
Yeah, I said you just go
and get hookers.
You know, and that we did,
and then of course Hollywood
flipped completely, everybody
wrote about it because
it's unthinkable for them
because prostitution is not
allowed in L.A.
I am totally against censorship,
they're saying that if you are
18 or older, you should decide
what you want to see
or what you want to play.
And that, I think it's totally
absurd that the some five
older people or whatever,
whoever is in the rating
commissions make a decision
what can get sold or
what you can distribute.
I know, it's like you cannot
do this; Who says this is?
Then, it's
already... you're wrong!
You can't say whatever
you want, right?
So that is the thing,
you have to break the taboos.
And I was always like this,
So that is the thing, it's like,
but I don't retreat,
that is the difference, right?
So, I am not sorry if I make a
joke on the costs of
a retarded person,
of a handicapped person,
of a black, white, Chinese
I give a shit.
You can say n...
[bleep], I give a fuck.
You know, that that is the
thing that people have to
get it in their brains, that
is language, that are words.
And that, that is what,
basically, my whole life,
I didn't accepted this.
Uwe says fuck you,
I have my own money.
You can't tell me; What, you're
not going to let me
spend my money?
You know, and that might've
been the biggest problem is that
it was his money and he
answered to no other authority
than his own.
There was no one telling Uwe,
you can't make a joke about
the gold teeth pulled from,
you know people in Auschwitz.
It's not funny.
You know, but Uwe would say
"I can put it into a movie"
"because I am the boss!"
But yeah, he offended some
people and he thought that
they were offended, was funny.
And I want to explain a little
about the financing of my movies
and also from Germany was
where money comes from
because you know, they're all
the rumors out that my movies
are financed with Nazi gold.
And what should I say;
It's true.
But somebody must do
something with the money.
I get a little horny here on
stage sometimes.
If there is a crowd and all
the children.
Are, you fucking kidding me?
I don't have like any lines
in a way that I feel,
I cannot say that word,
I cannot do that in insult.
I don't, I'm not scared
to offend people.
Moving into Africa and
controlling it and the six means.
I can do it again.
Off the board,
that shouldn't count.
Doesn't matter, it's flat.
I think in a satire,
you can do everything and
you should do everything.
That was a tough one, I
didn't want to be black-face
in that movie.
He wrapped me at the end of
the day, I was actually done
the movie and I was changing
my thing, I thought I was done.
And like, he kind of pulled me
in, he came into my trailer
and he's like, I've got one more
thing, I want you
to do black-face. [Chuckles]
No, Uwe, like, no.
I don't know what to do
with that.
And like, why, you know?
It's not going to be funny.
I mean, I'm just not prepared
for it, you know what I mean?
Um, and I don't know, he's
just got, kind of, a really
convincing way about him.
Somehow I ended up being
in black-face.
Uwe Boll doesn't seem to
have a clear sense
of what's funny. [Chuckles]
Um, every five or six minutes,
there was something that you
just went, oh wow, did he really
just say that, did he do that,
did he insult that person,
was he that tasteless?
I passed on Postal and I think
Uwe held it against me
for a little while because I
just felt like I read it and
went, "Ooh, I don't know,
I don't want to have to go"
"into government hiding
or something."
I felt that one maybe crossed
the line a little bit.
Uwe has a unique sense of humor.
Wonderful, just wonderful!
The children being shot
in the big shoot-out
in the middle of the show is
horrific when you tell people
the story, but when you see it,
it's hilarious.
So there's something about
that, even when you hear
of a plane crashing into the
World Trade Center,
it tasteless when you talk about
it but really when you see it,
it's quite funny.
But he was trying to push
buttons in that one
and he succeeded.
And, it's not necessarily
funny to me.
It's funny in some cases how
ham-handed it is,
so that's not what he
intended but
he's not, he's not like Howard
Stern where he's saying
offensive things in the
service of a larger point and,
you know, he's the fool that
has some classic fool
that tells the truth.
He's not that guy.
He's a guy who thinks he is
and can't quite get there
but you can feel him trying.
And his idea of comedy
and my idea of comedy
didn't always mesh.
So, Postal was a film that we
both found challenging,
you know, together on in that,
his vision of what he thought
was awesome and funny,
wasn't my style.
And so, as we collaborated
on that film, it became
one of the more difficult ones
for us to work together on
because it was recent,
it wasn't too long after 9/11
and I thought that we should
be somewhat more sensitive
to situations and he felt it was
exactly the right time
to put all that in
everybody's face.
Uwe definitely has his own
idea of what's funny
[chuckles] and what isn't.
And, uh, you know,
a lot of it, I think,
he likes to provoke and
misses the mark.
You know, no matter what,
film has to be entertaining.
I think that is the saying,
whatever you is show,
it cannot be boring.
That is the main point,
it can be shocking,
can be funny, can be horrific,
but it shouldn't be boring.
I think that there were times
when he should've focused
on directing and less on writing
perhaps, and less on producing
and just go and direct,
or go produce
and let somebody else direct.
But Uwe, he liked to do it all.
[slow pensive music]
Three movies in one because
I had the second world war
setting in Croatia.
I had the trains, I have the
tanks, I have like the army
stuff from the second World War
and and so to combine it
to make three movies in a
longer shoot and save more
as half of the production
budget of every single one
of that movies.
I think that was very clever.
What's up brothas?
For Blubberella, I didn't know
until, literally, weeks before
we got to Croatia that we were
filming two movies at one time.
And then, two weeks into
filming, he added a third film.
It's amazing, like, so we did
three movies and I think
they were in like 16 days.
Auschwitz, I didn't even know
about until like the day of.
I think he was like, Brendan,
like do you want to come and
like play, like, a Jewish
captive or something?
I was like, "What are you
talking about?"
In what, like, I had my plate
where I was doing BloodRayne
and doing Blubberella and even
Blubberella, we didn't even know
what that movie was
necessarily, either.
So, I'm just trying to wrap
my head around doing those
two movies.
I mean, I was just like, no,
Uwe, I don't want to be
in Auschwitz, it just seems like
the most irresponsible, like,
you know what I mean?
How are you going to do
BloodRayne and Blubberella,
this spoof movie, and then
also be so serious and tackle
such a hard subject as Auschwitz
in the same vein and have us all
switch in between those
tones and those movies?
But that kind of shows
you kind of how Uwe thinks.
The first night we got to
Croatia, we went out to dinner
and he said he didn't get
BloodRayne 3 funded without
telling them that he could do
Blubberella and deliver
two movies for the price of one.
I think BloodRayne 3,
actually, turned out very good.
I'm very happy how the movie
turned out in the end
but Blubberella, the comedy
on BloodRayne has 25 minutes
hilarious scenes and 60 minutes
like things what we had
to shoot in half an hour.
This is an honor.
Your camp is too dark.
I trust you've received
my communiqu.
The doctor is in his lab!
But that never worked
because we were, in a way,
behind and they couldn't
had BloodRayne 3 suck.
So I could not have like,
not enough shots.
So, first our primary
purpose was to do.
BloodRayne Third Reich,
so we would do a scene
with a vampire, a zombie
and I'm like, you know,
operating on it.
I believe it was a gypsy at
one time, but who's to say?
- I've never seen one.
- Which is why you're alive.
And then when it was time
to do Blubberella, it was,
Uwe said "Okay, roll cameras!"
There was no rehearsal,
there was no, I had written
something down
but it was fake it, you know.
I believe it was a movie
critic at one time but
they don't get out much.
Yeah, I've never met
a movie critic, hmm.
Which is why you're alive.
Every single shot in that
movie is pre-visualized.
We have mood movies from
everything, storyboards
but we just don't show it
to anybody, you know.
He sends me BloodRayne 3,
I made, I'm not joking,
like written notes in the,
whatever, columns of the script.
Not on every line, just like,
oh, here is something funny
we could do, here's something
funny we could do.
Send it back to him.
So I assumed that the writer
of BloodRayne 3 was going
to write this untitled, he
started calling it
the untitled superhero movie.
So we all sit down and
they pass out the scripts
and it says "Untitled Superhero
Comedy" and I open it up
and it's literally BloodRayne 3
with my notes.
Basically, I told Uwe,
90% of the way through filming,
I'm like, you're not going
to get an entire film.
They would film BloodRayne 3
and then, I would,
they would call me to set, once,
because we're obviously using
the same location, the same set,
the same set up and I would
get there, I would get maybe
one time to block it through,
and then we would shoot it,
and then that was it.
So we never, I mean,
I know we never had more than
two takes.
And so what happened though,
was we started running out
of time, so they would, bring
us a set, and bring me the set,
and um not being able to film
my part, my version.
I will go back to the hotel
and they would just cut it.
So the film, you know,
was running short
and it didn't make sense because
there were chunks of it
that were missing, right?
So, I told Uwe, you're not
going to get a separate movie
out of this,
there's just no way.
And he was like, I just have to
get to 77 minutes
or something like that.
Yeah, you know, it's like,
it didn't, didn't,
the concept of Blubberella
was not really like to be
a high-end comedy.
It was really like being trashy
and I said that,
we definitely fulfilled.
Like to work on an Uwe Boll
movie means you really have
to be on your toes, a lot.
Like especially with the Rampage
movies because they were based
on six page treatments, not a
lot of the dialogue was written.
We shot those movies
in six days.
So some, and it was all one set.
So like some days, I'm just
like, run through like
the entire movie, you know
what I mean?
Knowing that like, fits good
and it'll be in the movie,
if it's bad, it might still be
in the movie.
Probably will be because we
were shooting it in six days
and we just need the material.
And it got to a point where he
was, he just wanted to tell
a story and move on.
And directing is, it's about
directing what's going on
and he lost sight of that,
for sure.
[slow pensive music]
He's not the only person who
would have made a bad movie
out of those video games;
There are plenty of other people
who could've done the same.
It's just the incompetence
combined with the belligerence.
It's kind of like, oh yeah.
Bad reviews or a bad comment,
usually it's a "fuck you" and I
carry on, you know,
I just move on.
And I never say it to their face
because that is just throwing
fuel on the fire.
In my mind, I'm saying it.
The best way to, to sort of
distance yourself
from a conflict is
just don't respond.
You know, that's Uwe's problem.
Sometimes people will take a
shot and Uwe responds.
And... that's his card.
What like, Internet nerds
and jealous wanna-be-filmmakers
are signing the competition
and I was able to track
a movie down, what they
actually did.
And here we are.
It looks like they shot it in
the public toilet in the school.
The whole light is completely
off and, but, whatever.
What I say, I cannot imagine
that somebody from that
anti-Boll petition signers
have any clue what light is.
This is the kind of quality the
people are doing
and they have like, let's say,
under the nicknames
of the internet, have the balls
to criticize my movies
or to write like how
stupid my movies are.
You know, when they don't
like what you do, it hurts.
You know, and even if in
your heart of hearts
you think that you've done
something great,
if they don't like it, it hurts.
Uh, if you get like from lot
of people almost the same
response for it, then it's not
about the movies,
then it's about me as a person.
And I don't think that people,
they know me as a person,
dislike me.
I didn't have a lot of fans,
let's say this way,
I didn't have a lot of people
supporting my movies.
I think it's hard for him to
find somebody whose critique
he respects because he says,
you're not so smart.
He's not a schmoozer.
He says, you don't like my
fucking movies
then don't watch my
fucking movies!
When I think I triggered
this kind of bashing
because I bash back,
the whole time.
He could make a really
amazing film and people
would completely bash it, just
'cause it has his name on it.
Like, he would almost have to
make a film, I actually pitched
this to him, I was like, you
should make a movie that
you're passionate about and
release it under like a,
you know, like a pen name
because they see Uwe Boll
and they immediately go,
"this is going to be bad."
You know, he'll never
have a shot as long,
his name is so tainted,
you know.
Well he, you know, he traded
on the notoriety.
He, in a sort of schizophrenic
way, he embraced it but,
at the same, time he professed
that it pissed him off
but he kept coming back to that
circle of people who were saying
fuck you.
Um, if it really bothers you,
you're not going to keep
coming back to the place
where they gave you
the exploding cigar.
But is that an act?
And that, I guess, is the core
question of Uwe Boll:
Is it an act?
Is he really as angry, is he
really as incompetent?
Is he really as obnoxious
as he comes across?
And I would think, only
Uwe Boll could answer that.
Yeah, he probably does
take it personally, you know.
And, but he'll say so
himself, he's like,
"Well, fuck you man!"
Like yeah, so what, this
movie didn't work,
you didn't like this movie
but like, look at all these
other movies I'm making,
like, look at this.
Like, this is good, don't tell
me that this isn't good.
Like, forget Dungeon Siege,
I'm tackling, you know,
issues that Hollywood
won't even touch.
I think that, really,
obviously it doesn't help, it just
fans the flames of his insanity
and his craziness but,
like I said, Uwe is a little
off, you know.
I mean, he's really aggressive
and really opinionated and
you know, I don't think
he's quite all there.
I can reach people, if I'm the
Uwe Boll they think I am,
right, this kind of bashing,
a crazy person who is
the worst director ever
and then if I do something
what fulfills that expectation,
they are more willingly
to listen to it.
Being the guy who is just
known for throwing people
the bird and being that asshole,
had its own kind of cache.
And he really seemed to know
how to work that really well
because, yeah, he'd make a bad
movie but a lot of people
made bad movies but he would
make a bad movie then go on
a press junket, throw the middle
finger at huge swaths
of the audience that he,
are kind of hoping would
come see this movie.
And they would just, you know,
the Internet would blow up.
Like, well, eff this guy, oh,
what an asshole.
But then they'll all go
see the movie.
Yeah, in this business you
really have to grow
a thick skin.
You really can't engage with
critics or the press to,
especially nowadays on Twitter
because then it just blows up
into a huge thing but, back then
it wasn't really like that and,
frankly, I respected Uwe
that he actually genuinely
thought that he had made good
movies and was ready to put
his fist where his mouth was.
[dark ominous music]
Are you ready?
The event you've been waiting
for has finally arrived.
Legendary German director,
Uwe Boll, will be putting on
his gloves and stepping
into the ring.
He's challenged critics
worldwide to stop grumblin'
and start rumblin'.
Look guys, if you're right,
you want to kick me in the balls
and you want to hit me
and you want to kill me,
let's do it in a spot somewhere,
let's do it in a ring,
let's do a boxing match.
I saw myself branded now,
as the worst director ever.
So I was very mad about it
and I felt like, okay,
let's invite some reviewers
who were like hating me
or whatever and let's challenge
them to a boxing match.
I was the announcer,
I was the guy who said,
"Ladies and gentlemen,
the Teutonic Terror,"
"the German, you know, machine."
I've brought out Uwe.
The Raging Boll,
the Deutschland Destroyer,
the Teutonic Terror,
Dr. Uwe Boll!
It was funny because these
critics thought they were
very cute and going to tease
Uwe but once they stepped
in the ring, you know,
Uwe beat them up.
[crowd clamoring]
I don't know, when he boxed
this critics, I don't know
if that's as much about him,
like fighting back against
his critics that don't like his
movies and more just wanting
to like, beat someone up.
[chuckles] Like, for fun.
You know, it's amazing that
he boxed the critics,
it's also really amazingly
stupid that the critics decided
they were going to take
him up on it.
I mean, come on dude, if
somebody challenges you to box,
that's an indication the
guy knows how to box.
I don't know what he was
trying to prove because
beating up a couple of nerdy
critics doesn't mean that your
movies are good.
I was shocked when I got
selected but when I did,
it was like, okay, this may
be dangerous, this may be
bad for my health, but it's a
free trip to Vancouver,
so how do you say no?
Well, all I can say is that
I'm sure that, that there were
a bunch of fans who could
appreciate that.
It's a way of handling
things and it's a lesson
in be careful of what
you get yourself into.
I mean, if you don't know
what you're agreeing to,
You better ask somebody,
you know?
Yeah, this German movie
director who said he was gonna
fight any critic of his movie,
was that, is that right?
And you said, okay,
I'll fight you.
And me being naive,
you know, I thought it was
just going to be a PR stunt
because who in their right mind,
you know what movie director
would actually say, yeah,
I'm going to beat up my critics,
saying, I thought it was just
going to be a goofy kind
of thing until I...
Oh, you thought the fight was
just gonna be like a PR stunt,
like a comedy funny, stunt.
Boll is like an amateur boxer.
Yeah, they didn't tell me that
until the day of the box.
No, it was after the match...
So they flew you out.
He had been boxing for 16 years.
So they flew you out there
just to kick your ass.
Yeah. [Laughs]
That sucks.
Uwe would train every day.
At lunchtime, he'd go for
a 5K jog with his dogs
and come back and then
we'd just work again.
Yeah, it was really, it was
great because we knew
he was going to kill everyone,
We knew how good he was,
right, so.
When you're not used to it,
you cannot handle the violence.
Like, everybody has a plan till
you get hit in the face.
I spent the whole day in
the Amsterdam cafe
in Vancouver, smoking weed.
I was so high when I got
into that ring,
I barely felt any of the blows.
[crowd clamors]
Jeff Schneider, he actually,
before, he said,
he'd never watched a Boll movie,
but he doesn't have to
because they're very bad.
I think that he said that in
an interview or whatever.
I mean, now that is the worst.
I mean, it is like basically
the most absurd thing, really,
you know, to have this kind
of opinion.
As a reviewer, at least you
should do your job and then,
he got actually pummeled
worst in the fights.
I think he had the biggest
damage, he had to go
to the hospital, he was
throwing up, pissing blood.
I collapsed on the ground
about 50 yards
from the locker room,
I vomited everywhere.
Sure enough, I'm in Wired
magazine there's a photo of me
surrounded in a pool of my
own vomit with my "Hi mom"
wife beater on, yeah.
Not, how you imagine you're
going to be in Wired magazine,
but hey, I'm in it.
I think when your reputation
is so far down
that there's nothing else you
can do, a publicity stunt
like that is great.
If you have any kind of good
reputation, no.
I mean if Spielberg challenged
someone to a fight,
it would hurt him.
It would be very bad for him.
I think it's silly. [Chuckles]
You know, it was amusing
but I don't know,
I mean, it's just another
provocation, I think.
It's kind of a deal with the
devil, if you want to be famous,
you're going to get shit thrown
at you, no matter who even,
I'm sure there are people who
hate Tom Hanks, for God's sake.
He seems to have an attitude
at a certain point in his career
as though he could bully people
into liking him and that just,
that's not going to happen,
that just makes it worse.
You look like even more of a
buffoon when you get mad
and throw a temper tantrum
or punch a critic in the face.
You know, I think he took it too
far with the critics and,
like I said, it didn't do
anything to help him, you know,
don't challenge people to a
fight, you know, kind of thing.
I think, at the end of the day,
don't cry about not being
taken seriously and then
challenge your critics
to a boxing match.
That whole event that he
created almost just like this.
PT Barnum Circus, you now,
selling the sideshow,
I mean, he's a good showman
and that is what has sort of
endured as far as his
cinematic legacy.
And to put so much effort,
so much work in making movies,
I think you have to take it
serious, you have to be
emotionally involved to go
through this endless,
no sleep, shooting night times,
like physically hard situations,
risky situation, whatever, like,
I think you need to be
emotionally involved.
You know, I think Uwe does
have passion as a filmmaker.
Uwe does.
He is creative.
It's just, he doesn't quite
have a handle on
the western film making process.
He's not lacking passion.
You know, after the fact,
people can pick on his movies
or they can see that maybe
the quality is not quite as
up to par you know as other
projects but goddammit,
he's made 'em.
I don't think that he makes
movies and that sort of
middle ground, you know,
they're extreme movies.
He's one of the hardest
working men that I have ever met
or worked with.
Whether it's campy like Postal
or House of the Dead
or BloodRayne or Political
like Rampage
or Assault on Wall Street,
he does have a cinematic vision
for where he wants to
go with the story.
It's just his process is
quite unique.
I don't think Uwe went into
the movie business
to just make money.
Part of where Uwe was torn
is the movies he wanted to make
were too controversial to
be profitable.
So he's always been trying
to balance, okay, I made
the video movie for the money
and make everyone happy
and then I make my political
movie and I'll make some kind
of social observation.
[instrumental music]
I found an article about me
but bigger magazine,
and he wrote, like about the
last movies that I got
more and more vigilant,
bitter and cynical
and all my heroes killing
people, like Rampage,
Assault on Wall Street,
whatsoever right?
And he said, it's so sad, right?
And, but that is the thing,
it's like, no, it's not so sad,
that is a good thing.
I actually make movies or
may try to make movies
or talk now on my podcast about
the only things that matter.
And that is what the
people don't get.
And that is the thing, like,
most of the movies out there
getting featured for Oscar
nominations are actually
unimportant, boring, and have
nothing to do with the reality
we are living in.
- Please.
- Are you going to do that?
Are you just going to
do that to me?
Please, just take it easy.
Are you going to let that
happen right now?
What happens if that was you?
What happens if it was your wife
and your kids!
- I have orders.
- You have orders!
If that was you your wife
and kids and you're going
to let them be!
Shoot me.
Shoot me!
We cannot ignore what's
going on on the planet.
Everybody's on the same page
like cheating over
the population.
You know, nobody wants to
say the bad news, basically,
and then we have to drastically
change the way we live together.
You know, so, and I will
also not change it
but I also don't just want
to be just a bystander.
I mean, I spent five weeks
in Croatia in the middle
of the winter with the man,
so I can, I got to see like
what his passion was and his
passion isn't doing.
BloodRayne movies, you know,
like his passion was doing,
like, Darfur, the Auschwitz
movies, like, I think he's this
this serious filmmaker that
got trapped in this
video game world.
He's got very strong views
about these things
and he had a voice with his
films and whether you like it
or not, people watch them
and people do enjoy them
and the people that
enjoy them, get it.
The people that don't,
don't get it.
Uwe was a visionary who,
you know, was very very strong
about what he was trying to
achieve, cinematically,
and his process was so outside
the box that he upset people.
Critics, the industry, agents,
the studios,
so that doesn't help.
He didn't make a lot of friends
in that world while he went
about his sort of renegade
One of the things people don't
realize in this business is that
likability is a big factor.
I think, even though he did
get better, no one was willing
to give them a shot 'cause
there's only so many movies
by a guy you watch, after which,
you say, no, I'm giving up.
As a society we've become
less mindful of each other
and each other's efforts.
Then, whether or not we can dog
somebody and put somebody down.
You know, and ultimately,
who does that make feel good?
And especially because most
of those people, frankly,
don't know their ass from
a hole in the ground.
You know, they wouldn't know
how to make a film,
they don't know what it
takes to make a film.
And so, you're dogging
somebody for making a bad film,
but you can't even make
a home movie.
Filmmaking, to a degree,
is part of what the Razzies are,
but I don't, I'm not sure how
to address your question
about whether I'm a
filmmaker, I don't.
I would certainly expect
Mr. Boll would argue I'm not.
I don't know if they're
that clever.
You know, certainly none of
them have ever experienced
what it is to actually make a
movie from development
to distribution and understood
the number of moving parts,
and the number of people that
you have to work with
to get that movie done.
That's the old thing against
critics, it's like, you know,
when have you ever risked
anything to make anything?
Like, how can you sit here
and judge other people,
when you're not making steps
to do it yourself?
So, Uwe has put himself out
there, you know.
You could definitely say that.
You know, if Uwe found the
right material
or if the right material fell
into his lap and it was a story
that resonated with an audience
and it was a story that,
you know, Uwe could tell,
I think Uwe could be
a really good director.
Uwe has got a lot of good ideas
and a lot of good instincts
and also too, pace, pace, pace,
I mean movies are about doing it
for the dollar.
You know, he's making
tremendous effort
to express his point of view.
And, you know, you may
not like every painting
in the gallery but a lot
of is not haphazard.
Is Uwe Boll the worst
filmmaker of all time?
Absolutely not.
Uwe is far from the
worst filmmaker.
He may be the most
unappreciated filmmaker
and the most controversial
and he might be very offensive
but he's not the worst.
Is Uwe Boll the worst director
of all time?
No, not at all.
And I've made much worse
films with other people
than I have with just Uwe.
I don't think that you can
classify Uwe Boll into one
type of movie that he has made
or, you know, judge him by
some of his failures because of
all the success that he's had.
He also somehow who manages
to raise all that money.
So, there's people who are
shitty filmmakers who also
can't get any money because
nobody will give them money.
So he's doing something right,
he's talking people into
being in his movies,
he's raising all this money,
he has done it over and over and
over, he gets points for that.
It's art, ultimately.
And we're so busy looking for,
you know, perfection in all
the wrong places.
You know, you can say a guy's
a bad film maker because,
you know, it didn't make $150
million in the first weekend.
Is that a bad filmmaker;
Is that a bad film?
[soft instrumental music]
So when a young filmmaker
now coming to me and say,
you did so much, you have
great tips for us or whatever,
I, look, the first thing I say
I'm out of the business because
the business is over, because
movies are shitty investments,
they are super risky.
I would say going into a casino
and gambling a million bucks
on red is a higher chance to
make money as to make a movie.
Japan paid you a million bucks
for a movie 10 years ago,
they pay you now $10,000;
I mean, that is the market.
And I cannot be clearer, right,
so that is the reason I'm not
the good inspirational speaker
to film students because I just
don't know how, otherwise,
I would keep making movies.
With the dissolve of DVD
revenues in rental, Blockbuster,
Rogers, was my refinance
possibility over.
I'm just like, it's impossible
for me to get the money back
if I make a movie and sell it.
For me as a producer,
all this, is very bad.
[soft instrumental music]
He's been a foodie for
as long as I've known him.
And so, for me it seems like
it's such a natural transition
for him to become a restaurateur
from filmmaking because
he has great passion for it.
[soft instrumental music]
I was 50, I saw my movie
career goes to an end
and I needed something
else too, right?
So, it's like I cannot expect,
I can live from the movie
royalties or revenues from my
old movies until I'm 80.
So, I felt like I need to create
another income.
So it was eight months of
renovations and, I mean,
we had to put new floors in,
new, I mean, there was an empty
gutted hole here.
You can break it down like here
behind me, I like around
100,000 dollars, the wine.
Then you have around $600,000
to $700,000 is the kitchen.
We're not only going to be the
best food in Gastown,
we're going to be the
best food in Canada.
So we're really going for do
what is complicated.
If a dish takes three days to do
and to prep, do it!
So it wasn't really a big
decision to say,
let's do it for real
and not like
an ultra-low budget movie.
He loves food, he loves wine
and so, I think he cut his teeth
filmmaking to allow himself to
realize, if I'm going to start
something new, I'm going to put
my best foot forward.
I'd say he's living his
best life.
He just does whatever the fuck
he wants to do.
And he doesn't apologize for it.
I think that is one of my
positive aspect but it's not
really, a lot of times it's not
really helpful, that I'm able
to basically retreat myself and
see like ice cold, the truth.
You know, even if it's totally
in my disadvantage, you know,
and you reevaluate what
happened in the last 25,
30 years or 50 years, if you
start from scratch and I think
the main point is that you
don't start lying to yourself.
You know, I'm not this guy
who said I will do everything
the same way like, you know,
a lot of people they say that,
"I don't regret anything".
I regret tons of stuff and I
know exactly where I made
huge mistakes and what you
want to do, cannot rewind
the time and do the Groundhog
Day or whatever,
like it is what it is.
So you have to, at least for
yourself, be honest and explain
why some things happened
the way that happened or why
some mistakes happened,
you know.
I destroyed so many bridges.
I think it was a big mistake
when I was like on the peak
with theatrical releases in
U.S., wide releases,
why I didn't get a manager,
an agent in L.A. who could
now bring me jobs, right,
because it would build
that relationship over 10 years,
now, nobody will take me.
Yeah, no, the retirement thing.
Listen, Uwe likes to make films.
And, first of all, when I heard
he retired, I thought that was
pretty silly because, come on,
he's going to make movies,
you know?
He's just a little frustrated
right now.
You know, I'd love to see him
come back out of retirement.
I can't believe that he's
retired, I think he's just
waiting until he can raise money
for his next picture.
I think he's just hibernating.
I don't think we've seen
the last of him yet.
Yeah, like I stated before,
I'm waiting for his return.
I would like to be a part of it.
He's still got a filmmaker deep
inside and he's still going to
have that drive to be creative,
so, we haven't seen
the last of him yet.
It's really hard for me to
imagine that he's going to
put a cap on all of these ideas.
He's too much of a maniac.
He's got too much to give,
you know what I mean.
And, and at the end of the day,
he just loves to stir the pot.
So, I don't think that he's
just going to be
a quiet restauranteur.
I don't see that for him at all.
I went through it all,
so I mean,
I'm used to, you can have
a really bad year, you can
have a really good year, you
know, you can have something
what looks good and then,
a month later it turns into
a total nightmare.
So, for me, it's sad but
it's also, in a way I cannot
be whiny; I made a lot of
movies, you know,
and that is the thing, I have
to just accept it, how it is.
[slow pensive music]