Family Squares (2022) Movie Script

Grandma, is that you?
I-I'm sorry to call you
so early, sugarplum.
- It's okay, Grandma.
- How are you feeling?
Well, I'm gonna die
this weekend.
- Oh.
- And I-I need you to teach me.
I-I'm not sure how.
I have never died.
No, not that.
Teach me the Zoom thing
that people use
and gather the family.
In normal times that might be
a difficult request,
but during the pandemic
the Worth family
found a way to come together
while dealing with a crisis.
This is their story.
Cassidy, you wanna join me
in the kitchen?
We can Zoom together?
No way, your lighting sucks.
- Guys.
- Hey, Chad.
- Hi, Chad.
- What's up, man?
There you guys are.
Wish it was
different circumstances.
Cassidy, wow, let me see
what you got going on there.
That's a lot.
Yeah, she did the makeup
and hair herself.
I love that.
Hi, everybody,
not all at once, please.
That's your Uncle Bobby,
by the way.
Another example of you just
dropping out of our lives
and coming back in
whenever you feel like it.
Yeah, I just sit here
like Buddha.
Oh, hey, Mom.
- Hello, Bobby.
- Hello, Di-Di.
Hello, family.
- Hello
- Hi.
- Hello.
- Yes, Robert.
Yeah, that's what
I'm talking about.
What time is it in Russia
right now, man?
- Eight hours.
- Like, it's always been later...
You guys didn't know what
a single one of those words
Are they still Communists?
Hi. Hi, everybody.
- Hey!
- Hi.
- Hi, Judith.
- How are you?
- Okay, am I the last person?
- Am I the last?
- No.
- Definitely, no.
Katie is not there yet.
There's nowhere
with any reception.
I've been trying to find
a place to pull over, but...
- You know, Dorsey...
- Oh, wow, Bobby.
You don't look any different.
I know Katie's gonna be
last this time.
- Of course Katie's last.
- Punctual as always...
Whenever we say last,
we mean...
It's Katie...
- Before Katie...
- Has anybody...
Hey, guys, nominating that
we just one at a time.
Raise your hand and talk. So.
- Okay.
- I'm not gonna raise my hand.
George Burns once wrote
that happiness
is having a large, loving,
caring, close-knit family
in another city.
Well, George Burns
didn't know Zoom.
- You know what we're here for?
- Like a family does...
Let's think about
what we're here for.
- True.
- Where-where is Mother?
- Yeah, where is...
- Oh, good. You're all here.
I'm going to set this up
so you can see Mabel.
Just a heads up, she is
in and out of consciousness,
so do not expect her to respond,
but she can hear you.
Studies have shown
that she can...
she can hear, so don't be shy,
but also don't be too loud
because you are a big bunch, and
we want her passing to be calm.
- You hear that, Bret, right?
- That's a lot of instructions.
- Hi, Mom.
- Mom, there you are.
- Hello.
- There you are.
- Grandma, I'm here.
- It's Dorsey. I'm here...
We're actually all here,
not just Dorsey.
Katie's not here,
but I'm here.
Hi, Grandma.
Right here, Grandma,
it's Chad.
Hi y'all.
Good to see you.
Welcome to my death.
We love you so much.
Dorsey, pull it together.
- Oh, my gosh.
- Hi, Mom.
You know, you look serene.
Looks like you can take that
"coming soon" sign off my grave.
- Mom.
- Grandma, don't.
- It's true.
- We're all here with you.
- You're in Connecticut.
- I mean in our hearts, Mother.
I'm sorry we're not there
with you.
Okay, so just remember
that Mabel
is doing the work right now.
She's concentrating.
So while encouragement is okay,
is actually perfect.
- What is that mean?
- What does what mean?
Encouragement to do what?
- To just go.
- How do you do this?
Are we supposed
to say, like, it's okay?
Like, are we supposed to say,
"It's okay, you can die now"?
- No.
- Probably, I don't know.
No, we're just supposed
to be supportive.
Just letting her know
we all gathered...
Bobby, with all due respect,
I don't wanna hear
about being here from you, okay?
That was encouragement?
Do you remember the time
we, uh,
we used to play music
on Grandma's porch?
She'd-she'd also sing
and dance, as I remember.
I do remember.
Eating those biscuits,
those biscuits with grain.
- And your gas afterwards.
- Yeah, we all remember that too.
Thank you for bringing
that up.
And remember when
we'd go down to that bar,
and she got up on the...
on the bar and danced.
Oh, my God.
She kicked every glass
off that bar.
Oh, my mother.
Hey, Max?
What is that noise?
It's the death rattle.
That's her soul
- trying to say goodbye.
- Is that it?
- It's not her...
- Oh, my God.
Everyone, I know that this
is hard, but this is normal.
I want you to know that Mabel
is not experiencing any pain.
I administered morphine
a little while ago.
But hang in there, guys.
You're doing great.
You know, the Buddhists
believe that their soul
always remains with the family.
- Oh.
- Goodbye, Mom.
Wait? Did she die?
Did she die? Is she dead?
Wait, did she die?
- Fuck!
- Bye, Mom.
Wait, did she die?
I can't believe
we're not there.
- This is so fucked up!
- We should be with her.
There are a lot
of instructions, and you're not
listening to any of them,
God damn it, Bret!
- This is so stupid!
- This is so fucked!
We should be there!
Do we know yet if she died?
Why aren't we there?
Okay, just
a little bit quieter.
A little bit quieter.
We can hear you.
She can hear you.
- Grandma?
- Where are you going, Max?
- Look, we get it. We get it.
- You're both the saddest.
Oh, God. I'm so sorry.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Oh, no Grandma.
- Grandma you can go...
- Go and join Dad.
- It's okay.
- Bye-bye, Grandma.
Have a celestial journey.
- It's okay.
- We're here with you.
Sleep, Mama.
- It's okay, sweetheart.
- You can go.
I know I can go now.
Don't give me advice.
Bunch of know-it-alls.
I missed it?
Did-did I miss it?
Is she fucking dead?
Did I miss it?
How come I didn't get the link?
- Shh.
- I've been texting you, Mama.
Stop, stop you missed...
yeah, I think you did miss it.
- I don't know.
- Where have you been?
- Oh, thank God. Oh, my God.
- I really thought that I...
Here we go.
I am going to leave this
connected for a few minutes.
I just wanted to convey
my condolences.
I'm so sorry.
Mabel was such
a sweet, sweet woman.
A great soul
with a twisted sense of humor.
- Yeah.
- Which I like.
Cass, hon.
You just wanna sit with her
for a while?
Yeah. Yeah.
I'll just sit with her
until the free session runs out.
Okay. Okay, you do that.
I'll make
your favorite spaghetti, okay?
You just come down
when it's over.
Cass? Oh, sorry.
I-I thought the screen
had frozen.
You were both just so still,
you and Gigi.
Look just, um...
Forget it. Love you, kid.
I brought you some spaghetti.
I'm still with Gigi.
How has it not expired yet?
I took your credit card
and bought a premium session.
Do you want the spaghetti
or not?
Yes, I want the spaghetti,
and I want you not to be there.
Have you seen the girl
with the mind on fire?
She set out to tell the world
how they suppress our desires
- Maybe yes. Uh, maybe no.
- Definitely no.
My mother died yesterday,
and I'm-I'm a little scattered.
How do you spend the first day
without someone you love?
Especially when you...
you can't be with your family
to share the memories
and the love they created.
Let me know
if there's anything I can do.
- No, just let's...
- let's continue the meeting.
- Hey, Max? Max?
- What?
You don't even seem upset.
I don't know.
Autumn Care of Nash,
this is Kelly.
Hi, Kelly, this is
Judith Joiner.
I-I'm Mabel Worth's wife.
- Okay.
- We met on Zoom.
I'm interested in getting
Mabel's things
sent to me
here in New York City,
and I'm just checking to see
that you have my address.
Mabel, right, uh.
I believe you were not
listed as next of kin, Judith.
Okay, that,
that doesn't make sense.
Can you just check
the list again, please?
- I'm sorry.
- I-I don't have you listed.
Okay, can you tell me
what's going on with her body?
Where is she
and what are the plans here?
I'm so sorry, Judith, but
Mabel made her own arrangements.
Why can't you tell me
what they are?
It's not a lot of...
I'm not asking for a lot here.
Just where is she?
All I can say is that they are
coming to get her body soon,
and let me know if I can...
if there's anything else
I can do for you.
- Yep, yep, yep.
- Thank you very much.
- I just put bagel...
- are you there?
- Sorry, I just look...
- I know I look like a mess.
Yeah, I didn't wanna say
anything. What's up?
I'm trying to make
Grandma's biscuits.
I mean, you know
I gotta stay busy when I'm sad.
Where are you?
Uh, I don't know.
I think I'm in Arizona,
Your kitchen looks really nice.
How much did Grandma spend
on that remodel?
Well, Kevin did most of it.
I mean, you should see
the garage.
He just changed everything
to kind of like a...
a man cave, and he calls it
his Garage Mahal.
He is so funny, you know.
So listen, I've been trying
to kinda get a poll, you know,
as to what grandma Mabel
would want.
Okay, well, I can do that.
I can just... who, like...
just let me know who you haven't
reached yet and I'll just...
Oh, no, I don't need you
to take over. No, no, no.
I was just saying that's what
I'm doing and I've got my list...
Well, I just, you know, like
I don't really like
feeling out of the loop
and I mean, you know, how...
I just, like, wanna...
just one of those times
I wish I still lived
in Spring Hope.
Oh, really?
This is when you wish
you lived here?
No, you did it right.
You left.
We don't need your help now.
I mean,
I could have used it before.
I'm just gonna ignore
that dig...
Just trying to kinda
figure out everything
for the digital memorial, and...
I'd really love to still try
to do,
like, an in-person funeral.
I really think we should do
something really traditional.
So you're gonna come home
for this?
You're gonna come home for this?
Yeah, she would want us
all to be together.
She would have wanted us
to be together
a little bit more
before she died.
I mean, Katie, I think
a lot of times
when stuff like this happens,
you start to understand,
like, what's really important...
Let's keep thinking about it.
Let's just... let's just keep
talking and keep thinking.
How's Max doing?
He's doing great, actually.
This time has been
really good for us, I think.
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Yeah, I mean, it's been hard
for him.
It's hard for all the kids.
I mean, it's hard...
Yeah, that's what I thought,
that's what I thought,
kinda hard.
That's like really
passive aggressive,
what you're saying.
Why don't you just come
right out and say what
you think?
Okay, I don't think that you
should have taken a teenager
who is going through a global
pandemic across the country.
I just think it's insane,
to be honest.
I-I just want you to focus
on your family
and just focus on you.
You've-you've never had
a problem
doing that in the past?
All right, Max is coming back
with snacks,
so, uh,
I think I'm gonna go now.
I feel like, yeah.
- Okay, I didn't mean to be...
- So I'll just stop...
I didn't mean
to be rude, okay?...
- No, it's fine...
- You just ran off...
- It's fine. It's fine.
- You know what, it's fine.
I know you have all of your
opinions and since, you know,
you and I haven't really kept
in touch that well lately,
I don't really expect you
to know what I'm going through.
So I'm just gonna...
I'll take off, and, you know,
I'm here if you need me.
Come on. Dorsey.
God damn it.
Yeah, I don't know why my mom
has us on some stupid road trip
in stupid Arizona.
I think she's trying
to get us out of the house,
but now we're
in a smaller house on wheels.
What the hell is wrong
with me?
Except for Katie.
I hope she chokes someone
in those goddamn biscuits.
No one makes them
like Grandma did.
No one. I hate this RV.
Oh my God, Cassidy,
my mom is glitching.
- I hate this year!
- Look at this.
I think my mom is having
a meltdown.
- Max, not now.
- I need some alone time.
You clearly haven't seen
my dad when he has a meltdown.
Max, knock it off. I mean it.
Dude, she's being normal,
- Stop.
- Leave her alone.
What are you doing? Go, go.
During these unique times,
more people rely
on the gig economy
to support themselves
and their families.
- Hey, there, Judy?
- Judith.
- Okay, well, I think...
- I think I found the place.
We're talking about the
Autumn Care of Nash
nursing home, right?
- Yes, yes.
- That's it. That's right.
Jessica, a Tasker,
took that to an extreme.
Okay, so do you... do you want
take a screenshot
or do you want me to do that?
Look, just-just do
what you're doing.
- And so it seems to Judith.
- What?
Okay, the task I hired
a Task Rabbit
to do is to provide me
with an ongoing live stream
of a particular building, yeah?
Okay, but for how long?
Wow, okay.
What if I have to pee
or eat or sleep?
I have... I have kids.
Can you just, just...
Yeah, that's it.
My wife died in there.
- No, she was in her 90s.
- Old age, I guess.
Whoa. Sorry for your loss.
Thank you.
I just thought it was
from the virus
'cause, you know,
it's so common these days.
Didn't feel common.
No, I mean,
it's really fucking intense
to watch a person die,
don't get me wrong.
I one time watched, like,
three of my cousins,
like, blow up.
We were on a... on a jet boat,
and the thing just like exploded
into a fireball right
in front of us.
Okay, stop talking,
Task Rabbit.
Just like that.
Hey, guys.
- Hey.
- Oh.
Hey, Katie, are you doing
some modelling on the side?
I don't think the light's
big enough
to... to get rid of the lines.
- Can't hear you.
- Oh, come on Katie.
We can't hear you...
- Bummer.
- Turn your mic on.
Damn it, my mic wasn't on.
I know none of you care
about your looks,
but I pride myself
on my appearance,
and I'm sorry that you don't.
- You look beautiful.
- Thank you, Mama.
- You know what?
- You know what else is gorgeous?
Inner beauty. Just inner beauty.
Let your... let your soul
shine through.
You have inner beauty, Bret.
- He doesn't have either...
- inner nor outer.
I don't need a ring light
to let my beauty shine through.
- You sure about that?
- Oh, my kids.
- Are we all here?
- No.
- Where's Chad?
- We're waiting on Chad.
- Hello?
- Hey.
- Hey, guys. Wow.
- Look at everybody.
Jesus, Katie,
you look blown out.
- What?
- Uh, sorry, guys.
I had some book stuff going on.
I had oversee it.
Oh, I thought you were
trying out
for the next season
of "The Vikings,"
or whatever that show was on.
- Very good.
- That's a beard burn.
Well, you know,
everybody's made
sacrifices during the pandemic.
That's for sure.
- And you sacrificed your looks?
- He sacrificed.
He's completely hell-bent now.
- Is this what we're doing?
- Is this what we're doing?
'Cause I actually...
I have stuff I could do.
Hey, that looks
like Granddad's mug.
Hey, Chad.
Did you bring that to Russia
with you?
Does it? Don't think so.
- A little bit.
- Hold it up to the camera.
I don't think so.
Chad talking about unkind.
That comment you made before
about my showing
or not showing up,
I really took offense to that.
Can we please get back
to discussing the funeral?
- Thank you, darling. Thank you.
- Thank you, Mama.
Alex from the funeral home,
he is gonna be
joining us shortly.
- Wonderful.
- He's a very nice man.
I've got a huge itinerary
for us,
so we're gonna have
to move, move, move.
Oh, hello, family.
Hi, Alex.
- Hi, Alex.
- Hey, Alex.
Sorry about that.
Ooh, ooh. Al?
- Can you hear him?
- I'm having a little trouble.
While he's figuring that out,
I just wanna say I am so happy
that Mom did not die of COVID.
That she went peacefully.
She died either way.
Thanks for...
Should we help him
or something?
- Can't hear you.
- Restart the Zoom.
Go to the settings and turn
on and off the audio.
- It's working...
- Settings on and off!
- Stop yelling.
- Robert?
- Screaming doesn't help.
- Oh, dear Lord.
Okay, how's-how's that?
- Okay, yes, you're there.
- Yes. Good.
- That's better.
- You're welcome, guys.
Thank you.
Again, my name is Alex,
and I'm the manager here
at Cornerstone Funeral Home.
Shall we get down
to the business of bereavement?
Let's discuss everything
that Mabel wanted
from this event.
Okay can I... can I just
stop you right there?
I'm just wondering if...
like, is event the right word?
Only because "event"
makes me think of celebration.
Celebration makes me think
of something...
I'm just saying
it makes me think
of birthday parties
or graduations
or, you know, like a prom.
You're looking at it wrong,
right Alex?
- Well, you know, uh.
- Celebration of...
All families
grieve differently.
Please can we just go on
with this?
- Yeah, sure.
- Yes, abs... thank you, Mama.
I think personally that I know
what Grandma wanted
for the service,
- so I can dive right in.
- I know what she wanted too.
I talked to her, too,
so I'm pretty prepared.
And I knew too because
I had talked to her a bunch.
So I've got some notes
right here.
Yeah, I talked to her
a few days ago.
I talked to her too
about a day ago.
- Please, girls.
- I can't take this today.
I was also texting with Kelly.
- Not today.
- I can't hear it today.
So first, well, I think what
we're gonna wanna do is,
we're gonna decide
who is writing the obit.
I should write the obituary.
Alex, I don't... have you had
a chance to read my book?
- I have not.
- Oh, come on.
we'll get into the flowers.
I will handle the flowers.
- Thank you, Judith.
- Thanks, Judith.
And then third, we'll get down
to the digital memorial service.
Just seems so cold.
- Mom, it's-it's the world.
- It's where we are now.
Oh, you know, actually,
there's a lot we can do now
digitally and remotely
that doesn't take away
from the experience of-of...
and the intimacy of
the experience as well.
I mean,
I have been having therapy
over Zoom since it all started,
and it's-it's working for me.
That is one over-share there.
In your opinion, I guess.
- I could never do therapy.
- It's so much lying.
I'm not gonna tell a stranger
any of my real secrets,
so I'd be lying.
Well, you don't need therapy
you're never gonna have it.
- Oh, why?
- Because she's perfect.
Katie's so perfect, isn't she?
Come on, no one's perfect.
- Thank you, Mama.
- Thank you, Mama.
Okay, let's talk about
what we'd like Grandma to wear.
I think we need to make sure
that she's buried
in her blue nightgown.
- Yeah.
- She loved blue.
She doesn't care
what she is buried in.
- Yeah.
- Was her favorite color.
She loved that blue nightgown.
I don't really don't have
a strong opinion about that, so.
Yeah, sure, I mean,
she totally loved
her blue nightgown.
Fine. It's fine.
I do think she should not be
I think a wrap or something
over the nightgown
'cause it is cold.
I feel so... I feel so sad
for all the families
that have to go through this.
I don't feel like we should have
a digital funeral.
Honestly, I think it just...
it has to be in person.
H-How's that gonna happen?
I think we should vote
and see... because I don't feel.
We already decided all this,
It has to be in real life.
Gigi really wanted all of us
to get together.
Given the circumstances,
I don't wanna be crude,
but of course,
Mama and Bobby are elders.
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
Not that I'm not thinking
about you guys.
Why don't we, like...
we could quarantine for 14 days?
- Dear God.
- We're not gonna do that.
Why not?
How is Robert supposed
to get here?
Thank you.
Is that the guy who, like,
sold his soul to the devil
so that he could live in Russia
for the rest of his life?
It's not my fault I had to
expose the government's secrets.
I'm sorry. I had to do that.
- I think you know what?
- I think... thank you.
I think we should vote,
and I vote for in-person.
I'm in favor
of an in-person funeral.
And at risk of doing something
I'm never gonna do again,
I'm gonna agree with Dorsey.
I think it would be important
for us all to be together.
I think it would be
really good for Cassidy.
All those people
for not in person?
Everyone for not in person?
There we go.
- Well.
- Look that this.
- Is that your hand up, Alex?
- Alex, are you voting?
- Do I get a vote?
- No.
I don't know,
you started going like this.
Oh, I was just counting
the hands
to see who was up for what.
Did you get a count?
I threw my numbers off
when I...
'cause you guys counted me,
and then I counted myself.
But if I can get another vote.
It looks like we need
a recount in North Carolina.
Y'all, we have to talk
to Grandma's estate attorney,
and you guys have been talking
about nothing,
- and we've gotten nothing done.
- Oh, my God.
Alex, thanks so much
for all your help.
- Absolutely.
- Good luck with that meet up.
Everybody just stay on.
The same link for the attorney.
Stay on.
- Okay, all right.
- I'm staying on.
Hello, friends and family,
- I'm confused.
- It's me again, Alex.
And now I know... I know you're
you're probably confused.
Like, what is
the funeral director
doing in a meeting with
your grandmother's
estate attorney?
The answer is I'm both.
I'm a... I'm a licensed attorney.
It kinda made sense for me,
You know, I had
the office space,
built-in client base.
Hey, Bret, that sounds
like a new business idea
for you.
- Very funny, Robert.
- Potentially successful.
There's a reason why,
you know,
bail bondsmen set up across
the street from jails, right?
- Oh, my God.
- Who-who found him?
- Katie?
- One price.
- I-I am in the "Pennysaver."
- He is in the "Pennysaver."
Yeah, I mean, if anybody else
in your family passes
or whatever, please use my...
my number, uh, one-stop shop.
Yeah, and let's just get on
with it, please.
Well, Mabel wanted
to address you all directly.
Hello to my wonderful family.
If you're seeing this,
I'm not with you anymore.
First of all, I just wanna say
how great, wonderful, fantastic
it's been to be your mother,
your grandmother,
and your great-grandmother.
To every one of you,
that has been such a joy.
I also wanna say how wonderful
it was
when I fell in love with Judith.
The four years with her
in New York
and the marriage
was absolutely wonderful.
Judith, I am sorry I had
to leave you,
but I felt I had to come home
to die,
and this is home.
I just wanna say
what sort of service
will you have for me?
First of all, I'm not crazy
about the traditional service.
Doesn't have to be that.
I don't know,
maybe I don't believe in God.
I know everybody thinks I want
to be buried
in that blue nightgown.
I don't give a shit
about the nightgown,
so please come together
and figure out where
I want to be buried and how,
or else no one will know
where I'm being laid to rest.
Next, I wanted to say that I am
very disappointed in the family
in terms of what it's been
this last year.
You've all been acting
like jackasses
and keeping so many secrets
from each other, and frankly,
well, I'm sick of it.
Secrets keep people apart,
divided and distant.
So I'm removing that element.
First of all, Diane, I know
you thought that I love Bobby
more than you, and I didn't.
No, I loved you both the same.
And Bobby, there is someone
that you must open up to.
You must tell them
what you're feeling.
Do it now.
Bret, I know how hard
it's been since Megan died,
and you've been raising Cassidy
on your own.
It's very hard.
And I want to say, Bret,
I'm sorry I didn't invest
in your Barcalounger idea.
And also, you never paid back
any of the loans
that so many of us gave you.
And now Katie, you and Kevin
have got to work
your differences out.
And-and most of all, though,
I wanna just thank you
for taking care of me before
I moved here in this joint.
And Dorsey, I wanted to tell you
that I know that the allowance
I sent you helps and mostly
because Max's dad was a poop.
And now I wanted to mention
the arcade business.
Well, it turns out that
there was embezzlement going on,
and it wasn't Diane,
it wasn't Bobby,
and it wasn't me.
Robert, I just wanna say,
I wish you'd ask for money
rather than doing it that way,
but that's what happens.
It's not real. Is that real?
Here's a big one
that I have to tell you.
One of you is not a sibling.
What the fuck?
I think I'll let you all
figure that one out together.
And, you know, I-I think there's
something I should tell you
that I don't... I don't think
any of you ever knew
that I wanted to be a singer.
Duh, duh-duh, duh
That should do it.
I gotta get back to being dead.
So goodbye for now.
I gotta go.
Wow, Alex, that was not
on our itinerary.
Is that it? Is there more
video? Or is there...
- Mm-hmm.
- Really? How many?
There's a few more
I'll send out.
I feel like
we should either start
with Robert embezzling money...
Yeah, let's start there.
Or that one of us is not
related to the other one?
I like that one.
Mama, do you know anything
about this?
What is she talking about?
Do you know anything
about that? Mom?
Are you and uncle Bobby
not brother and sister?
Do you have anything to say?
I didn't know
that she could sing.
That's not the important thing
right now.
She was also a stripper
for a short period of time.
- What?
- What?
What the fuck
is going on here?
Alex, do you have
more information?
You can't just play something
like that for us and expect us.
- I gotta say these are...
- these things
are usually, you know,
a little juicy,
but this one was a doozy.
Ah, thank you, Alex.
Thank you for your
professional legal advice.
- It's Bret, isn't it?
- Why would it be me?
Because you don't look
like us.
- You don't look like us at all.
- Mom?
- What?
- Is it Bret?
Robert, Dorsey, and I look
like Dad.
Katie looks like mom.
Bret, you look like you walked
out of the woods
with the Wicker Man
or something.
Lots of kids look different
than their parents.
- Yes, they're called adopted.
- Come on now guys.
This is... this is the opposite
of what...
of what Mabel wants, isn't it?
- Mom, was I adopted?
- Mom, was I adopted?
- This is a shit show...
- Oh, my God.
And no, no one is adopted.
Judith, do you wanna weigh in
on this?
All the pillow talk with our
grandmother for four years?
Don't you have any input?
Yeah, Judith,
what do you know?
It's not for me to say.
Well, somebody's
gotta fucking say it.
Well, I hope I'm not related
to you all.
- I hope I'm not related.
- I understand this is hard
to hear, but if you can
stay calm,
I think it's the
best way forward.
Not-not blame each other.
I don't think Mabel wants that.
But I want you all
to know that
just because I don't have
any secrets
doesn't mean,
I think any less of you, okay?
There's some bombshells here.
There's some digging
that needs to be done.
But if I learned anything
from my time
with the Purakara people,
it's that we're all
in this together.
And now we've gotta unpack
some stuff, guys.
A-a lot of stuff.
And Bret, you wanna give us
our fucking money?
Yeah, wait, raise your hand
if you've lent money to Bret.
I just wanna point out that
you guys have all given me shit
for asking for investments
- of money in businesses...
- Loans.
And Dorsey
has been just straight up
getting an allowance
this whole time?
- Did you ask her for money?
- Well, here's what happened.
Did you ask her
for an allowance?
Well, Mama, of course
she asked her.
Okay, it was a long time ago.
It was around the time...
and Max, I'm really sorry...
it was around the time
of the divorce,
and I just didn't wanna
have to, like,
owe Max's dad any money.
And so she offered
to give me some money.
I said that would really help.
And then she just kind of
kept sending me
that one amount
that we talked about.
- So you didn't... yeah, you...
- but you didn't ask her to stop.
Do you guys wanna maybe direct
some of your anger toward her?
- Not really...
- If you think about it...
'Cause Dorsey
doesn't owe me money.
You owe me money, Bret.
Yeah, and by the way,
I gave you money, Bret.
So basically it was just like
Grandma giving you more money.
You made investments,
and I'm sorry
that those investments
didn't pay off.
The ideas were good.
- What's the idea?
- It's a Barcalounger.
There's no idea.
If it makes you happy,
I'm bankrupt.
I can't deal
with this right now.
I do wanna address one thing,
and that is Kevin and I,
and we're fine.
And I don't know what
exactly Grandma's talking about.
- What was the thing...
- Where is Kevin?
That she said that you need
to work out your thing?
- Is he living with you?
- He's been... he has the virus.
He has been in the garage
for the whole month.
We have to be cautious.
You don't have to be
that careful.
Hasn't he been tested again?
- He wants to be careful, okay?
- Let's be very clear.
Ah! God damn it! God damn it!
I'm ending this meeting,
I'm sick of this.
Wait, you have to make
a decision.
Somebody in the meeting
is not related to the family.
Make it so she can't end
the Zoom.
God damn it.
What an absolute shocker.
- She's such a baby.
- You motherfuckers.
All the money in the world...
Thanks, Mom.
She's such a loner,
I can't understand
I go drink with her,
but now I can't control myself
I get excited, and I get upset
all the underworld officers...
- Mommy, Mommy, Mommy!
- I'm tired.
Why is your brother
screaming every second?
No one can do one thing
without me.
Stop filming me.
Look how crazy my mom is.
What are you doing?
You're supposed to be doing
Zoom school.
What the hell are you doing?
I said stop filming me!
We all cope or don't cope
in different way.
I swear to God,
if you film me one more time...
And during the lockdown,
it was mostly not coping.
Katie trying to be
the perfect mother
would refer to this as
an amplified reprimand.
Her kids just thought
she had lost it.
- Max, what is that?
- What are you doing?
- I can smell that.
- Give it to me.
It's just a little weed, Mom.
You're smoking weed?
- It helps calm my nerves.
- I don't.
- How do you have nerves?
- You're 17.
And I'm right there.
Are you, like, not scared
of me at all?
- I'm sorry.
- Where did you get it?
I got it in LA.
You brought it in there
with us?
- Yeah.
- What if I got pulled over?
I would have to lie.
I would have to say
that it is mine
and that I was endangering
the life of my child.
And you would get taken away
from me forever.
Maybe, I mean, that's a little
extreme 'cause you're old,
but, like, how long
have you been smoking weed?
Not too long, just since
the start of the pandemic.
You're endangering us.
I didn't really think of it
like that.
- And your brain cells.
- I'm sorry.
And you're not even sharing.
- I mean.
- Just kidding.
The world's a bunch of shit
right now.
I mean, I... thinking
about my future
and everything going on,
- it's-it's-it's a hell of a lot.
- The world isn't shit.
It's really... maybe, like, right
this exact second,
but everything changes.
Things change so fast,
and, honey,
you don't have to know anything
about your life right now.
And then things are supposed
to suck when you're 17
'cause if they're
really great now,
then where do you go from here?
Imagine if this is the best year
of your life,
then how much is that
gonna solve?
I mean, my dad is-is a poop.
I mean, and to be... you're
all I got.
And to be fair, you're a poop
too sometimes, but...
No, I get it. I know.
You're less of a shit
than he is.
- I'm gonna go in there.
- Why don't you take a walk?
Actually, why don't we go?
I'm really hungry
all of a sudden.
- Okay.
- Do you wanna just... wait.
It's gonna get better.
I doubt it.
Sammy, Sammy, Sammy, Sammy,
say it with me.
I love paper towels.
Think of everything
you use them for.
Think of everything
that you haven't used them for,
but you will,
and if you can't do that,
I-I-I would move on
right onto paper boxes.
Yeah, yeah.
Hey, listen to me.
You know what?
I'm getting a call.
We will talk soon.
Think about what I said.
Thank you.
How are you?
I have been better.
You know, you're gonna have
to deal with it.
Excuse me.
I think you're right in there
with me.
I'm aware.
I really just cleaned up
your shit after you abdicated.
Thank you.
I-I just called to see
how you were doing and...
Good talk. Thanks.
They can't keep it
on the shelves.
Thank you, God. Yes.
My book is number one
in North Dakota and Nebraska?
Oh, thank you, God.
Thank you, God.
I can't believe this.
- Chad!
- Yes, thank you God.
This is God.
I have no idea
what you're talking about,
but it's not all about you,
is it?
It's about the money
you will give
to your brother, Robert.
Not funny, Robert.
I think it's pretty cute.
How long have you been
inside of my security system?
- I was always here, my son.
- Even with the pornography.
- That is not cool.
- You voyeuristic pervert.
Do you understand me?
Quit hacking our shit.
Okay, I mean I'm not.
- No one likes it.
- No, but it's a thing.
It's like a... it's like
you don't get it
when normal people get it.
Do you know what I mean by that?
No, but yes, but no.
Anyway, dude, I miss you.
I was calling to say hey to
my big bro.
Yeah, well, it's a weird way
to do it, man.
Hi, how are you?
- I'm really lonely.
- Really cold.
Hey, I read your book.
- Really?
- Yeah.
- Well.
- It's really good.
It's very data-driven,
I would say,
which is not usually my...
It's my personal retelling
of a traumatic event in my life.
It's not data-driven.
I mean, that happened.
A javelin came through and
stabbed me in my torso cavity.
This is really great
and long-winded.
I read it in the book.
Fantastic. I love it.
Millimeters, Robert, okay?
Chad would find out later
that the-the success of his book
was due to a glitch
in an algorithm at Amazon.
And Robert will later take
credit for that said glitch.
Moving in and I knew it.
I have, you know,
and I got myself up.
Not to mention I just felt
an outhouse
for these people, so...
Do you remember
when we watched...
we watched "The Omen,"
and Mom yelled down,
and they're like,
"Is everything okay?"
And Bret was in the corner,
vomiting from it.
I mean, that was "Goonies,"
but yeah.
But any... anyway,
I'm just calling
because Bret and I want
to play "PUBG."
So if you're
down, meet you in five.
Yeah, right now?
- I said, meet you in five.
- That indicates five minutes.
- Okay.
- Kevin!
I'm exhausted.
I mean, look, we gotta tell
the kids.
How? Like just tear
the Band-Aid off, like, tonight?
Yeah, okay.
All right.
And then you gotta...
you gotta go.
- Leave here?
- No, go.
Oh, nah.
No, go.
Take your fucking stuff
and get it out.
I love it here. Love it.
What are you possibly
talking about?
I'm finally myself, like,
I've found my voice.
- Now you're finding yourself.
- And what is yourself look like?
I've grown more confident.
I think I've found, like,
the truth.
Okay, get-get the fuck out,
I'm gonna go back into my home
I feel, like, comfortable
with myself.
Okay, my brothers will come
and remove you.
- Okay.
- Bye.
- That's doubtful, but...
- Start packing.
Let 'em try.
- Ugh.
- What?
I said, ugh!
Boo. I'm a ghost. Hi, family.
Something tells me that
you still
haven't figured out
where to bury me.
I'm tired, kids.
Can you hurry it up?
Now, how could I forget?
I-I have not mentioned yet
my great-grandchildren,
but Max and Cassidy,
it's now your turn.
stop downloading so much porn.
I mean, you can stream it,
but downloading,
that means your mom
has to buy you a new computer
about every 18 months,
and her allowance
isn't that much.
And Bret, you really should
pay attention
to your credit card bills.
Right, Cassidy? My sugar plum.
And Bobby, hey, how's it going?
Got anything
you wanna talk about?
Your own little secret?
Also, we are rich.
I mean really filthy stinking,
fucking rich.
- Okay.
- Max.
Cassidy? Cassidy?
Cassidy, open up.
Have you been using
my credit cards?
Mom, what does she mean
by rich?
- It's-it's news.
- It's news to me.
- Like, how rich?
- And, Bobby, is it news to you?
- What does that mean?
- I have no idea.
Is it enough money
if someone wanted
to start a life on their own?
Just let's say someone,
maybe didn't
wanna be married to the person
that they're married to anymore
and they had three kids.
Like, would it be enough money
for that person?
Or maybe enough money to stop
taking money from your grandma?
Are we talking about, like,
if somebody on this list
wanted to do a little nip
and tuck and a little pull up
and a ring light
that just, like,
hovers around them
all the time...
Not cool. Not cool.
- Is it that kind of rich?
- Uh, not that rich.
If anyone's gonna get a lot
of money, it's me.
I'd be worried
if I were some of y'all.
Judith, yeah, what does
she mean by rich, rich?
- That's not for me to say.
- I'm-I'm afraid.
- It's not for you to say?
- Not for you to say?
Say something. Come on.
- Oh, my God.
- Judith?
- Guys, get your shit together.
- Judith? Judith?
Like, what are we doing
wasting time like this?
Wait, wait.
Way to go, Chad. Now she's gone.
Nothing like an inheritance
to get the family greed boiling.
But I think Mabel's lying.
There are many definitions
of rich.
That's her body.
Task Rabbit, whoo!
Up you go. Let's go.
Follow that hearse, honey.
Let's go. Come on, now.
- Up you go. Follow that hearse.
- All right.
- Go, go, go, go.
- All right.
Follow the hearse.
Oh, Jesus.
It's harder than it looks,
This hearse is a lot faster
than I am.
- Hi, Bobby.
- Hi, listen, Judith.
I am so sorry that it's under
these circumstances,
but I'm very happy
to be able to talk to you.
I'm a little busy
at the moment, Bobby.
So what's-what's up?
I just wanted to know
how Mom felt about me,
actually, is the question.
I think she wanted you
to come home,
and you never did that.
So I think she was hurt.
The last thing I wanted to do
was to hurt her.
I couldn't come home.
If-if I could, I would've.
You know what, hey,
it's-it's not about me.
How are you?
Well, I'm heartbroken,
I loved your mother very much,
and I don't know
that I will ever get over not
being with her when she died.
Well, I mean, you were there
with us on the Zoom.
- No, no, no, no.
- She didn't want me there.
That act of pushing you away
was a demonstration of love.
She-she knew
she was going to die.
She knew that was going
to just break your heart in two.
I see what you're saying,
but I have to say
it still hurts.
- It sounds painful.
- Oh, God.
- Who is that?
- Never mind. Never mind.
- Never mind?
- Is somebody else on the line?
Oh, shit. Oh, wait.
Then I gotta make... I gotta make
a U-turn.
- She's doing a task for me.
- An errand.
God please let me make
the roller derby team.
Just don't-don't-don't worry
about it.
Listen, I think that if she knew
what you were contemplating,
I think she would tell you
to do it
and that she's proud of you.
Thank you, thank you.
She sounds like
a really amazing woman.
Oh, my... okay.
My mother was
the complete opposite.
- You're welcome, Bobby.
- You're welcome.
She didn't like anything
I did.
Oh, Task... whoo!
Task Rabbit, snap out of it now.
Come on now.
I think you have to track
that body.
Okay, I'm sorry.
Look ahead.
Look where you're going.
Yes, is that the funeral home?
Wait, I think I see
the funeral home.
- Oh, my...
- Oh, my God. I did it.
I did... I may have
to charge extra, Judith.
I'm exhausted.
- Judith?
- Yes.
Are you following the body?
That's exactly
what she's doing, yes.
Look, I miss her,
and I wanna...
I wanna know where her body is
until we bury her properly.
That's sweet.
I'm sorry to say this
to you, Bobby.
I think your mother believed
that the family
that she knew and loved was dead
and that what you need to do
is to begin again as a family
and to do that with the truth,
is that making sense?
Yeah, yeah, it does.
I think maybe this is
a good time
for me to... for me to go.
- Whoo-hoo.
- This task is not complete.
- Geez, fine.
- Okay?
So I'll just let you know.
I need you to keep streaming.
- Yes, yes.
- I have to go. Bye, now.
Eww. Max, stop it.
You can't just fart in here.
Hey, Mama.
Still the only one
who calls me on that thing.
- I'm on your fridge again?
- I called your regular email.
Yeah, yeah, well,
you can't call an email,
and you email
my college email still,
which is just like
a burner sign up email.
Forget it. What's up?
How are the kids?
They're good.
Just hoping...
it's just Zoom school is so...
I may have made a mistake,
and I wanted
to talk to you about it.
I know this pandemic's
got me...
it's smooshing me.
It's-it's... I mean,
it's, like, some...
some kind of inner jelly
is spilling through.
Wait, what
are you talking about?
Small mistakes can be fixed.
Big mistakes, some are so big
that they...
you can't even see them.
They're so big
they change everything.
They change you.
- Mama, okay, what happened?
- What?
Do you have, like,
an entire second family
or something
that we don't even know about?
- Okay, then what is it?
- Katie, I...
I wanted to tell you that I...
Mama, I gotta call you back.
Stay away from that rooster!
To the west,
to the west toilet.
Three guys.
Hey, can you guys drop ammo
for me?
Ammo, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha,
gotcha. Top tower.
No, not yet. Not yet.
- Got 'em.
- All right.
On the count of three.
- Boom, baby.
- You got...
Do you think
we should have tried
to play video games
with Mabel?
Every shot is a headshot.
I miss her.
What if we brought her on
and she just fucking owned?
- She really was.
- She's kooky as shit.
She was fun, though.
Remember that time
that she gave you whiskey
for your 16th birthday
and Dad got so mad at her?
- Yeah.
- Hey, Bret, I gotta ask you,
what is going on
with Cassidy's make up?
Oh, my gosh. Yes.
- I mean.
- Details.
Being a teenager is hard
these days, you know
what I mean?
Especially right now.
Can't see your friends,
you know,
she's worried about the
One thing I remember
when I was growing up,
Mom used to tell me
that the kind of guys she liked,
were, like, the gentlemen
who treated her nice
and pulled out her chair
and stuff.
But really what I realized now
in hindsight is
what she was doing is,
she was basically telling
me how to be.
So maybe you could use some
subversive kind of stuff
on Cassidy
and say, like, how much
you enjoyed it
when women don't wear makeup.
- She's a pretty smart kid.
- I feel like she's gonna see
right through that
and, like, use some sort of,
like, judo, reverse psychology
and turn my own energy
back on me
and all of a sudden,
I'll be wearing makeup.
Okay, let's move
to the southwest quadrant.
There's no one here.
Robert, are you feeling
safe out there
or do you feel like the pipe
fitter's union is after you?
The pipe fitter's union
is after all of us.
It's the only thing other than...
seriously plumbing?
Are you kidding me?
That's the only thing
that connects all of us.
What other thing connects all?
- The internet.
- God.
God and electricity.
Dude, it pairs.
It's-it's one
and the same thing.
I'm completely ignoring
what you're saying, Robert,
just like the entire world
completely ignored your leak.
You could go fuck yourself.
Robert, how often do you go
outside in Moscow?
Every morning and stuff.
I do have to say, like,
the best part of my day
is waking up
and just, like, smelling
the honeysuckles out there.
They have honeysuckle
in Russia?
Yeah, every place
has the honeysuckles, I mean...
You're talking about the farm
or Moscow?
It just reminds me of the farm
back at home,
and it-it was
just... it brings me, you know,
great memories of, you know,
visiting it when we were young.
You guys, I'm gonna
hit the bathroom real quick.
- What?
- Drop-drop your guns real fast.
- Oh. There you go.
- So I'll take 'em.
Okay, Chaddy, it's me and you.
I actually am going
to the bathroom as well.
Guys, come on.
The round's only
10 more minutes.
Dookie break.
My brothers abandon me
in a graveyard
where I am alone to die,
and now I'm... I am completely
talking to myself.
You're not taking a poop?
I don't think Robert's
in Russia.
- What are you talking about?
- I think he's at the farm.
You think Robert
is at the farm?
The other day, he had a mug
that looked
exactly like Grandpa's,
and when we asked him
to hold it up,
he, like, covered it with
his hand, which was super weird.
Like, why wouldn't he
just show it to us?
So unless he went to the farm,
got Grandpa's mug
before going... before fleeing
to Russia.
That's entirely possible.
Fleeing to Russia
for a leak about plumbing?
Like, nobody has to do that.
Like, Snowden
had to go to Russia.
Like, he, like, he leaked
some bad shit.
Nobody cares
about Robert's thing.
Also, he just said something
about a honeysuckle like,
do they have honeysuckle
in Russia?
Okay, I don't know, dude.
He's a pretty big deal
in this hacking world.
Like, these guys, these nerds,
they-they really get
on each other's backs,
and I'm-I'm not sure.
Could you just drive out there
and see if he's there?
No, dude, we're in the middle
of a pandemic, dude.
Just get out there,
put a mask on.
See if he's there. I can't go.
I have Cassidy.
I gotta look after her.
Well, I have obligations too.
Come on,
you gotta do... just do it.
What does it look like...
Dudes, dudes,
what's happening?
Come on. Are we not playing?
I finished up in the bathroom.
I just had a quick question
for Chad.
But why are you FaceTiming
each other
while going to the bathroom?
Kinda got sidetracked
in the restroom.
It doesn't look like you're
pooping, though, Bret.
I just had a quick question
for Chad about the-the funeral.
I just wanted to run it by him
before we got back in there.
- Yeah.
- That makes no sense, Bret.
Well, what makes sense
these days?
Everybody's inside
for six months, so.
Okay, you guys
are being weird.
Come on, let's go back
to the game.
This is stupid.
- Robert.
- What?
Real quick, what's
the temperature
right now in Moscow?
22 degrees centigrade.
- Cool.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
- Let's play this game.
All right, I will see you
on the battlefield.
You guys are weird.
I have the weirdest brothers
in the world.
- Hey.
- Nice night.
I'm out here just getting
some fresh air,
having some free time.
Eat my gummy worms, you know.
My dad's currently
freaking out right now
because of Grandma's secret
sharing sessions.
- How do you know?
- I never really knew her.
Of course, I did.
Of course, I knew grandma.
I spent more time with her.
She's so much fun
and smart too.
My mom did tell me, though,
that her favorite sandwich
was banana and mayonnaise.
- And I've seen her eat them.
- It's disgusting.
What-what are you doing?
- Chilling.
- That's cool.
Statistically speaking,
over the years,
it's-it's been harder to get
young adults to leave the nest,
but after months of being safer
at home with their parents,
those statistics
would probably change.
Hello, I'm calling
about Mabel Worth?
Alex, hi, hi.
- How are we burying her?
- What's-what's the plan?
- You know what?
- We're still working on it.
All right, well,
you're outta time.
All right, look, I'm only
contracted for a few more days,
and then we're handing her back
to you in a...
in a brown box, okay?
That's nice. We... yes.
I'm gonna call you soon.
Very soon.
That was too rude.
I'm so sorry.
I should call her back.
Mommy! Mommy!
- Yeah, sorry-sorry.
- That-that was so rude.
Uh, I just need the family
to decide.
Come on, everybody
Ooh, let's have a good time
Separate the clouds
and celebrate the sunshine
Livin' day-to-day,
I said I have a good time
Left, right, left, another step
'cause life's a straight line
Won't somebody new take me
far away?
I want to start this off
by saying I know exactly
where Mother wants to be buried.
She wants to be buried
at the farm.
- No.
- Yes, agreed. Yes, she did.
I think we should bury Mom
at sea
because the Buddhist point
of view
is that water is cleansing,
and it is also the element...
She's not Buddhist.
Bobby, maybe you can
bury yourself at sea.
Stop, come on.
I would like to just say
that I would like to keep this
to serious suggestions.
I'm serious about
the grandfather mountain.
She loved it, and it was a place
that she talked
about constantly.
The place she loved
more than anything
was the beautiful farm.
I mean, there's no question
about it.
There's no question.
I just wanna throw this out.
What if we buried her
at Parker's?
- The barbecue place?
- Yeah.
Oh, my goodness.
I do hate you,
but that's a really good idea.
- I love that.
- Thank you.
She did love their coleslaw.
- Oh, my God!
- Love it.
Every time we went
to go visit her grave,
we could go get Parker's.
We could go get barbecue
every single time.
Wait, when was the last time...
I'm trying to remember,
when were we there?
- I know. It's when...
- When?
We were all sitting... we were
all sitting around the booth,
and that little baby
was crying in the corner,
and she just turned around
and said,
"Excuse me, could you please put
your tit in that baby's mouth?"
- That's right.
- Remember that?
Yeah, it was my baby.
Remember Grandma always said,
"You've gotta order extra."
She would say that even though
you had extra at home already.
You had extra in the freezer
at home,
and she'd be like,
"You got to order extra."
- Chad, where are you going?
- Where are you heading?
I feel like she...
- No, whoa, whoa.
- Chad.
Oh, no, no, no,
are you serious?
I think it's
a really beautiful place.
Can you shut up for a second,
- and let me finish?
- Where is Chad going?
Who gives a shit?
- Bret was right.
- Are you serious, dude?
Are you in here? Hey!
- What are you doing?
- Hey, come on, dude.
I knew it.
- Hey, back up, dude!
- What's going on?
- Chad, stop!
- What the hell?
I'm-I'm the only one who tells
the truth in these meetings.
- What's going on?
- What is happening?
- Dude, man, stop!
- Are you guys kidding me?
Why can't you get
your shit together
and have one day about Gigi?
I mean, she just fucking died.
I am so sick
of all of your problems.
- Stop! Get off me!
- Boys, calm down.
Do you believe how messed up
this really is.
- Fraud!
- They're acting like children.
- Fraud, fraud, fraud!
- I'm a fraud? You're a fraud!
Your book isn't even a metaphor!
You just got lost!
That's it. That does it.
That doesn't make you wise.
What are you doing?
I'm trying to get away
from this family.
I'm gonna
move to Libya next time.
No, you're not going to Libya.
You are admitting
that you embezzled.
Oh, I'm the only one who tells
the truth in this family!
Fess up, right now.
You're the only person
in this family
that stole from it.
You stole from me!
I sent you my book royalties!
Admit it.
I'm sorry about that,
- Does Katie know about this?
- She knows you're here, huh?
- Yes.
- What about Mom?
- Of course Mom knows.
- I'm the favorite.
Fuck you!
You didn't come to when
they rescued me by helicopter.
And you didn't come
to the airport
when they brought me home
from my parade.
You didn't come
to my book launch.
- It was self-published.
- So why would I go?
That is irrelevant, Robert.
I'm gonna love you
Hang around my doorstep
Ain't got no loose change
Stop, stop, stop.
- Same old shit, huh?
- Same old tree.
- Stop it. Why are you so mad?
- Do you ever think about them?
And yeah I faked...
I faked faking my own death.
I faked going to Russia.
I faked being the second coming
of Snowden.
You leaked information
regarding the planning
infrastructure of Newark.
could have used that.
- How?
- How could they have used it?
There should've been
a bigger deal, okay?
Listen, I was brave
for doing that.
Yes, yes, you survived death.
Bret had to deal
with his true love dying,
but I had to survive
through you from...
you kicked the shit out of me!
All the time, man.
You hurt your brother, man.
All I wanted to do was hang out
with you,
and you fucking kicked my ass.
- Okay, all right, fine.
- All right.
But you were pretty annoying,
- I was what?
- Annoying.
You were an annoying presence.
- I'm done. Let's go. Right now.
- I'm done.
Yeah, I was hiding.
Dad, let's go. I'm ready.
- Let's go where?
- Right here, right now.
This annoying asshole
is gonna kick your ass
in front of everyone on Zoom.
Let's go!
Swaying in the breeze now
Hanging on the burner
They're gone.
They're gone, bitch.
There are some things
you just can't do over Zoom.
If either of them could fight,
someone might actually get hurt.
Are you further apart
but closer to you family now?
I mean, who-who did you get
locked in with?
- Oh, my back.
- I know. Oh, that truly hurts.
Oh, my God.
'Cause you're fucking
everybody's favorite, man.
- Yeah.
- Mom's, Gigi, Katie.
I'm also the best-looking.
- Don't do that. Come here.
- You gotta crack my back.
One, two. God, you've gotten
so fat.
- Okay, Dorsey.
- What?
I need you to hear
what I'm about to say.
- Bobby, don't.
- Hear what?
Yeah, I'm listening. I'm here.
Diane, it is the problem
with this family.
It is why the river forks
and the-the-the waters
never come together.
- Oh, my God with the water.
- She will not understand.
She will understand.
Can someone
please fucking tell me
what-what is happening,
Uncle Bobby?
We need to decide
on this together.
- Mom.
- Dorsey, I'm going to tell you.
Don't you dare.
Who is the host
of this meeting?
- I am. I'm the...
- Katie, do you hear me?
Do me a favor and
mute your mother.
I need to put this
in... into context.
Okay, you got it, Uncle Bobby.
Katie, do not mute Mom.
- I need to tell you how.
- Katie, do not mute Mom!
Dorsey, can you just sit still
for one minute.
This is not easy for me,
but I am your father.
- Wait a minute.
- I am your dad.
Oh, dear God.
Is that like what
you're telling me right now?
I'm just gonna... you're telling
I am.
How could you be my dad
with her?
That's disgusting,
and that's like an insane...
And that's why
that didn't happen, Dorsey.
What really happened was,
when you were born, your mother,
my wife,
Susanna, was very, very ill.
She did not live
a very long time.
I didn't know what to do.
I was upended.
I-I had this beautiful daughter.
I had no idea how to raise you.
And so I left you
with my sister,
who raised you as her own.
Good for you, Bobby.
- Wait, Bret, did you know this?
- Did anyone know this?
Okay, I just don't understand
why this is the first time
I'm assuming any of us
have heard about this?
Oh, God.
Holy shit!
- Max!
- Mom.
Oh, my God.
Uh, I just need a minute.
If that's cool with everyone.
I think it's best if you call
me Father Bobby from now.
Oh, my God!
Why didn't either of you
tell me?
Because we're very good
at keeping... where did she go?
Dorsey, come back here.
I am not coming back here!
I-I think I just... I just need
a minute
'cause I don't fucking
what the fuck is happening
right now.
Katie, can you just fucking
unmute Mom for a minute?
And now I'm really pissed
that you've been gone
for so many goddamn years!
Hey, Max?
Will you put your dirty clothes
in a laundry bag, please?
I'm gonna pass out.
I bought a big bottle
of vodka.
That's weird.
- What's-what's weird?
- What-what do you mean?
What? Which one?
Well, normally you put two
ice cubes
in a glass
of buttery Chardonnay.
Well, there's shit about me
you don't know.
Okay, okay.
Okay, Dorsey is gonna be on
in one second.
Oh, no, I'm... I don't know
what to do.
I don't know what to say.
I... you're gonna
have to-to help me.
Hey, I think you should
just be your... don't, no.
I think,
don't be your controlling self,
be your loving self.
- My loving self.
- You did everything right.
You're just... you weren't
a good liar.
What? No one knew
until Bobby told everyone.
- No, I knew you had a secret.
- Blurting it out.
We all knew
there was something.
What? No, you didn't.
There-there has always been
something just furious in you.
- There has not.
- There was.
And we all had our own theories
that messed us up.
You know,
in a totally bespoke way, but...
Just bespoke. What?
I don't even know
what that means.
Doesn't it mean customized?
Does it?
Hi, Mom.
Oh, stop. Stop.
Hi, baby.
The drama of this family.
I have two daughters,
and I'll always have
two daughters.
Yes. Yes.
Look, I'm okay. I'm okay.
I, uh, I just did a...
A two-hour
emergency therapy session.
Don't worry, I'm gonna ask you
to join next week.
We can talk about that later.
Both of you, Katie.
Well, let me just say,
I always had a plan.
I had a plan.
You weren't gonna stay.
I was gonna take care of you for
a while, and then time went by,
and then it was too long,
so I thought it'd be devastating
to you,
and I just hope this isn't
too devastating to you instead.
Oh, I'm, like,
properly fucked up.
But don't worry.
I'm gonna be, like... we're gonna
be okay.
Well, yeah.
And I'm so
happy you didn't leave me
with that fucking fuck up.
I mean, Bobby is a nightmare.
And trust me, it takes one
to know one, I know.
And I-I just can't even imagine,
like, what would my life be like
if it wasn't for you guys?
I'm a part of this family.
It's not like you picked me up
out of a dumpster
and forgot to tell me that.
I mean, I am...
I mean, that's not true, right?
- No, honey.
- Okay. Okay.
- We don't know.
- I mean, that's it.
There's nothing else
I need to know, right?
I, um, I also just felt like
I needed to tell you, Katie,
is that, even though
it's not my fault,
I just think that you would have
really kicked ass
at being the only girl
and all the light
would be shining on you,
and I feel
like you deserve that, and...
You're insane.
You're acting like this ruined
my life or you ruined my life.
No one ruined my life.
I messed it up.
Kevin-Kevin and I have split up.
That little bitch.
But I'm... because
I'm too controlling
and I've-I've been controlling.
I always thought being
controlling was a good thing,
is that... it was
about being strong
Well, we come by it naturally.
Yes, you do.
And my mother... my mother
was very controlling.
Look at how
she controlled this.
She did, the bitch.
- She did.
- The bitch.
She's still doing it.
But Dorsey, seriously, I will
be treating you like a cousin
from here on out,
and you'll always be.
I think that might be
a good thing.
I don't know how the boys are
going to treat me from now on
'cause you know, they're gonna
just give me an endless amount
of shit about this, right?
Like, it's gonna be
Just like it always has been.
You should be happy
that they're not your brothers.
That I...
I wish... what I would give
to not be their sister.
And I don't believe that
for a minute.
Max. Max!
Let's go home.
Where's that?
Diane, I can't hear
a word you're saying.
I can't hear anything at all
that you're saying.
Diane, I can't hear you.
No, no.
Don't-don't give a speech.
Diane, Diane,
let's go to the phone.
Okay, just-just wait.
Since the day we met.
Yeah. Yup.
Um. Uh.
Thank you.
And I would say, I think the...
the way I would see it.
I froze for the whole fucking
speech, didn't I?
Yeah, you did.
Ugh, ugh.
It's like watching
the fucking Jetsons.
All the little boxes,
all the little squares,
everyone lined up
like we're all the same.
Honestly, it's fascism
when you boil it down.
A part of me wants
to never tell you
what the speech was about,
Yeah, well, a part of me
was gonna say
I heard the whole thing.
How are you feeling?
How are you doing?
Oh, I feel tired, confused.
I feel a lot of regret, Judith.
- Ugh.
- I'm not missing her.
I've been missing her
for 20 years.
Well, she missed you too.
She talked about you
all the time.
A part of me was always scared
to see you the first few times
that we were together.
Figured she told you her version
of me.
Figured she told you
about Dorsey.
She did, but I'll tell you
the only thing I ever thought
about you
was what an incredibly
strong woman you had to be.
In that position?
I mean, you raised five kids.
I found you intimidating.
And I found you admirable
like Mabel.
Thank you.
I regret
not knowing you better, Judith.
That was the gist
of my speech, truly.
And I'm sorry that
you couldn't be with her.
Well, she didn't want me
That's crazy.
No, she really didn't.
Oh, that's just like
my mother.
She wants everyone around
and to be left the fuck alone.
- Yeah.
- She loves you, right?
I know that.
Thank you.
What the hell?
Hello, come in, over.
Hey, Dad.
I wanna try out a new
communication strategy, over.
Yeah, well, it's analog
'cause some hacker broke
into my computer
and has been monitoring
my every move, so.
Well, maybe the hacker didn't
know what else to do, you know.
Maybe he was a hacker who had
a whole hacker family,
and in that hacker family,
he was the parent
that didn't exactly know
what to say at the right time.
Or how to say the right thing.
Maybe he didn't understand what
his little girl was trying
to say to him
because that was... that was
the mom's job.
And the mom and the daughter
in this hacker family,
they had this secret language
that they just... they just
got each other.
They just had this instant,
beautiful connection, and...
And then she died.
And he wasn't ready for that,
even though he should have been
because he had
a whole fucking year.
And still he wasn't ready.
And he forgot to learn
the language.
And now he's losing her slowly.
And he can't lose her too.
He's not losing her, over.
I fucked up, Cas.
I shouldn't have let you
been there when she died.
It was too much.
That was too hard.
You know, I still think
about it all the time.
I know. I'm sorry.
We saw her leave.
I think it's proof that there
are other worlds out there.
That's nice, Cas.
I mean, as we do some more
deep space exploration,
we'll get real proof of there
being other worlds,
but you know.
Stop talking about space.
You know, she said I had
to take care of you somehow.
No, you don't have to do that.
It's not fair.
You shouldn't have been
asked that.
I know.
But she was on morphine,
so yeah, I get it.
We should talk more.
And, hey, keep the old can
charged up.
Hello, I am shark
from the deep ocean.
Hi, Bobby.
Wait a minute,
how did you know?
Who-who is the Bobby
you talk of?
Do you wanna talk to my mom?
- Is she in a good mood?
- I'll see.
Okay, yeah. Well then, okay.
And just so you know,
I'm really glad I have
a grandpa now.
I've never really had one
before, you know?
I am so glad
I have you in my life too.
Me too.
Perhaps Bobby will be
a better grandparent
than parent.
We can only hope so.
- Mom, it's your dad.
- He's a shark.
This is a shark
from the very deep ocean.
I'm from the very...
All right, that was stupid.
Okay, let me transform. Hold it.
I'll put that. Here I am. Hi.
I-I thought, you know,
that would be a, like,
a great disguise
to a work around Max.
- Why do you need a disguise?
- Max doesn't care.
Yeah, but you know, this is
a very important moment for me,
and I-I didn't want to miss it,
and I-I-I wanted so badly
to talk to you, but...
- You know, I guessed it once.
- When?
It was at Grandma's
70th birthday party.
- Huh.
- I don't know, I must've been,
like, 11 or 12, and you were
playing with all the kids,
and you were running around
and I thought,
"He runs like I run."
- You know what?
- I remember that day.
It was a wonderful day,
and I am so sorry
for the inheritance.
I like how I run.
I have so many things
I wanna tell you, Dorsey.
I just... I don't know... I don't
know how to say I'm sorry.
I mean, I have, like...
- I have a million questions.
- I know.
You can't even understand
how crazy I feel right now.
But before-before we even do
any of this,
you have to know
that Bill is my dad.
- Finally, someone mentions me.
- He's my dad.
- It took them long enough.
- I'm Bill, Diane's husband.
Okay, and-and the day he died
was the worst day of my life.
- Heart attack in '98.
- It was fast, no sympathy needed.
And there's no way this guy
will ever replace me.
I-I do not want
to take Bill's place.
I just want my own little place
in your heart if I could.
It just... and then maybe
it'll grow, and...
but I know... I know
Bill is your dad.
I know that. I know that.
I gave that up
a long, a long time ago.
I need a little time,
all right? Okay.
Can I... can I talk
to you again?
Yes, of course.
I just... I'm not ready yet.
Okay, this is the shark
saying goodbye.
I don't wanna laugh right now.
- Can I just say one more thing?
- You should be very proud of Max.
He is so perceptive.
He somehow... he knew I was
the shark.
Okay, that's good for now,
all right?
- Bye.
- Bye.
I was standing
By my window
On a dark and cloudy day
Will the circle be unbroken
By and by, Lord, by and by?
There's a better home awaiting
In the sky
Well, that was beautiful.
Yeah, I'm really glad
you all decided
to do a digital service,
you know,
and you know, maybe when things
are safer and we're cleared up,
we can do a full service,
you know,
in person, the whole shebang.
And now for the final video.
- I'm back! Just kidding.
- Still dead.
Welcome to the final installment
of my last will and testament.
You've hopefully decided
where to bury my ashes,
and it better be the place
I'm thinking of.
The only place I ever really
felt like we were a family
and that you've invited
my young,
gorgeous, and sexy wife.
I know I dropped some bombs.
I'd say I was sorry,
but that would be a lie.
I hope you're all healing.
Life is full of secrets,
but it's better without any,
and I leveled the playing field.
I want you to love each other
the way I love all of you:
and unapologetically.
So if you haven't yet,
forgive yourselves,
and then you can forgive
each other.
You're not perfect.
None of us are.
Give each other
a second chance...
or in Bret's case,
a third chance.
Or in Chad's case,
a fourth chance.
I'm kidding.
I love you both,
but you get what I mean.
You're family.
We've gotta stick together.
Lastly, the rumor's true.
There's something of value
at the farm.
Finders keepers.
I love you all so much.
- Me, too, Mama.
- I love you, Mama.
Love you too, son.
Don't cry, Mom, it makes me cry.
Love you guys.
- Bobby?
- Yeah.
I wanna say I'm sorry.
I-I thank you so much
for that.
Love you, Dorsey.
I love you, Katie.
Yeah, love you, cuz.
Hey, guys, maybe we'll get
along better now.
Dorsey, are you ready
to let me into your life?
- I'm never gonna call you dad.
- I'm sorry.
- How about papa?
- I think... I think Bobby's good.
I think we're good.
But I'm always calling you mom.
Well, I will always be
your mother.
And your mother,
and your mother,
and your mother,
and your mother.
And of course, my granddaughter.
And your sister
and your friend, Judith.
- I appreciate that.
- I appreciate all of you.
And boy, did Mabel love you.
Every single one of you.
Hey, Judith as-as soon
as COVID's over,
I was gonna grab my brothers
and drive up to New York.
I have a meeting
with the publisher
about another book.
- Oh, stop.
- Come on.
What I wanted to say is,
it would be wonderful
to take you out to dinner
and meet you face to face.
I would love that. Thank you.
Well, Judith, if you want,
you know,
Bret's single,
and the way I see it, I mean.
Mm-mm, hop on that train.
Well, that's kinda awkward.
What, Katie? Spread the love.
- Katie's single too, right?
- I am single-ish, yes.
- Yes, dearest. Here I am.
- New York City.
Judith, we're keeping you
in this family somehow.
Yeah, you can't escape us.
You are one wild, crazy group.
You should try it
from the outside.
Honest to God, I've never seen
anything like it.
- Oh, I love you all so much.
- Love you guys.
So yeah, you can record them.
So I've been recording this one,
and that's about it, Gigi.
So I can take care of the rest.
I can send out the invitations
and stuff,
and all you need to do
is just connect on your computer
or iPad or whatever.
And they'll all appear
one by one.
How do they all fit
on the screen?
The boxes get smaller.
That's what time does
to your family, actually.
You start off with a little baby
and a chair
in the middle of the night,
just the two of you.
And then more people come,
and they get further.
And then when you're my age,
whenever you look at them,
it's like looking through
an old yearbook or something.
I hate my yearbook.
Why, dear?
- I hate the kids at school.
- They make fun of me.
They think
I'm crazy or something.
I don't know, maybe I am crazy.
- Cassidy, look at me.
- You're not crazy.
You just loved her,
and she loved you.
And so does your father.
- I just miss her.
- I know.
You know, I think death
is kind of beautiful.
Does that sound weird?
Yeah, to be honest,
it-it does.
From where I'm sitting,
it's a little scary.
Yeah, I don't know, though,
it's just...
Death is so, you know,
just happens,
and then it's a fact.
Death is kinda... it's true.
I don't know.
I just... I think that's
kind of beautiful.
Send those invitations out.
Just did.
See you there, Grandma.
See ya.
Dad? Dad?
What's up, sugar plum?
I'm coming down for dinner.
Some kind of sweet relief
I hope you never leave
It's all the same to me
Just bring yourself
You know your presence
is present enough
- I left you in a...
- in an impossible position.
You were... you were incredible,
You were incredible to
her, Mom, Dad.
could have tried harder.
Don't you think if I knew how,
I would have?
You could have made it
so I didn't have to lie to her.
I know. I know.
Hey, Robert,
are you gonna pretend
to live in Paris this year?
I've heard the fake weather
is really lovely in the fall.
Give me my cappuccino
and a little cigarette.
Wait, are you Italian now?
I'm-I'm a nomad, dude.
Oh, my God.
I can't deal with it anymore.
I'm gonna shoot
this frigging rooster.
Who's he shooting?
He said the rooster?
Do we have a rooster
on the farm?
Hi, Judith.
Hi, can I hire
you for another task?
- Yeah, yeah, sure.
- I'm-I'm driving now.
Um, I-I fell and I-I bruised
my... my tailbone so now
I'm on this, like, donut thing,
- You know what I was thinking?
- What?
Maybe I would take a ride
to Spring Hope.
Are you kidding me?
I'm-I'm honestly
gonna do that.
Baby, I'll meet you there.
Just do me one favor.
Don't yell at me
when you see me.
Well, I can't promise you
that, Bobby.
Could you promise
that you'll try?
- I'll try.
- I can't ask for more.
- I'd love to.
- I can't talk anymore.
Okay, bye.
- No, it does not.
- That's not how it works.
- Let me try.
- One at a time.
It's a one at a time thing!
You've been doing it
this whole time.
It's one at a time thing.
So where's your dad?
- He's making craft beer?
- No way.
He's always doing
weird stuff like that.
That... whatever makes him happy,
I guess.
- Feel weird.
- Oh, God.
- Week?
- A month, a year, life.
I'm also really... I'm sorry
that I didn't know what
was going on with you and Kevin.
I mean, I guess nobody did.
- I wish you knew.
- I didn't tell anyone.
It's just so embarrassing,
and he's so embarrassing,
He is.
Were you embarrassed
when I first brought him around?
I'm never gonna get him
out of that garage.
He will not go.
There's creative ways
to get them out of there too.
Like loud sex with someone
in the house.
- That's a good idea.
- Oh, my God.
Well, why don't I give you
a tour of the farm?
- Let's do it.
- Cool.
- How's Max?
- He does drugs.
I learned. Just weed, though.
We did a lot worse than that.
Shh, shh-shh-shh-shh.
We don't talk about that.
Katie would love
this place, man.
What are those assholes doing?
Oh, they thought Gigi
was serious about there
being something valuable
on the farm.
What if she was?
We've done this area,
it's finished.
I don't know what I've done.
Because you won't stop talking
to me.
Just share it, man.
Share it, share it, share it.
I will shock you with this.
It's... you can't shock
me with this!
Yes, you can.
- It shocks at the bott...
- Hey.
It shocks at the bottom.
They say you can choose
your friends, not your family,
but you can choose
to be friends with your family.
- It's going well.
- Let's go to a different area.
- We've done a lot.
- I can tell.
- All right.
- We're gonna start back.
I want to... stop.
It's time to look
to the future.
Well, not for me, but-but you.
And after a year like this one,
the future sounds
like a pretty good idea.
Oh! Whoa! Whoa.
- Jump on it.
- Whoa.
- All the way. All the way.
- Ooh!
And the cries of the street
into us
Our love will still be there
Our love will still be there
When the rain from the sky
don't fall and the stars...
- And here we go.
- We're gonna clap.
Okay, great.
What? The rooster?
All right, and Ann,
give me a clap.
Clap city.
- All right, Judy.
- Yup, good. Thank you.
Mac, give me a good clap
in front of your face.
And Scott.
Okay, great.
Thank you. There we go. Okay.
Margo. All right, great.
- Okay, I'm still rolling.
- Should I go ahead and cut?
There we go. Good. Thank you.
Casey. Thank you.
Henry? Henry?
How often did you change
your clothes
during the lockdown?
Welcome to this crazy thing
we're about to do.
- Hey, Billy.
- Howdy.
Nice to meet you.
Back at ya.
Once I get a set from Luke,
'cause he'll confirm
that all the cameras
are actually rolling,
and then I'll tell Stephanie
we're ready,
and she'll call action.
So everyone's got their slate.
They've all put it up.
Well, I haven't.
- That's all right.
- That's all right.
- It's okay.
- Margo, it's fine.
- Is that a three, Billy?
- Yeah.
Do I have to push anything
on the microphone
or just turn it off?
Well, let me ask you,
are both of my cameras rolling?
Do I want to record
the Zoom too?
And Susie's gonna give, like,
a handheld POV shot.
Gonna DP you.
When you're ready and action.
Should we try to do this one
much closer to book?
- Yeah, I think you should.
- Yeah.
Is it really... I just need
to catch that beat for them.
If you... just catch the beat,
and then you can use all
of that wonderful stuff.
So if we... if we miss
the beat...
I will call a reset, and we'll
go back and get the beat.
Give me the beat.
They should turn
the beat around.
Nope, no point in discussing
anything technical with me.
Well, you mean I was not
the only technical dummy?
Can't possibly be my fault.
- Lot of issues there today.
- Lot of issues.
- Hey, don't worry.
- We're gonna fix it in post.
If you go lower, not so good.
Oh, that's 'cause you're not
wearing pants, Margo.
I'm kind of blown away
by the fact
there may be life on Venus.
Didn't the government,
like, reveal
that they have,
like, UFO's are confirmed.
And then we're just like,
"Eh, well, it's Tuesday."
- Even a touch more.
- Just a nudge, Scott.
- That's it. The light color.
- Yeah. Perfect.
Yeah, can you do me
a bit favor, y'all?
Can we shoot my side a bit
so that I can get Rick
to help me move the barbecue?
- Yeah.
- I don't see you.
But you know, the-the camera...
are you trying...
are you talking
about the camera?
I'm trying to turn
this-this off.
- I like the "Do me a favor.
- Don't yell at me."
It's really good.
Let's take Judy, Henry,
and Margo
to a breakout room, please.
And then just to say, sorry,
you weren't with her.
And then... and you could just say
she didn't want me there.
I'm sorry you couldn't be
with her.
She didn't want me there.
It might just be power strips,
but if I had one,
it would be there, right?
- Okay, I'll check it out.
- Okay.
Maybe don't wet your hair,
- You got it.
- Let's reset from the top.
Just there's, like,
a loud rooster
that Katie has been dealing with
the whole fucking time
at the farm.
You know you're at the farm
if you like... if you're like,
"I'm gonna kill
that fucking rooster,"
or "I'm gonna shoot
that rooster," would be better.
Yeah, give me.
Yo, that's the name
of the movie.
Yo, that's the name
of the movie.
Billy, you gotta say that.
- Oh, my God.
- I'm gonna shoot that rooster.
Okay, let's cut.
Go ahead and stop our cameras
from recording
and our microphone, please.
Thank you.
- Bye, bye.
- See you all tomorrow.
- Thank you, June.
- Bye, June.
See you tomorrow.
Our love will still be there