Fanny Pack (2016) Movie Script

- I won't let Dad control me.
- No, he loves you!
He's just trying
to understand you,
that's all.
- Mom, I'm 25.
He's never going to understand.
- You know, you're just
as stubborn as he is.
- Tell him that I love him.
- You can tell him that.
- Mom, I'm going to New York.
This photography exhibit
can put me on the map.
- Yes, but...
You know, your father
thinks you're dating a BMW!
[Engine starts]
- What's a BMW?
- A Black, Muslim, or White.
- Love you, Mom.
- Wait, are you?
[Phone ringing]
- Hey, Babe.
- Hey, babe.
What's up?
You on your way?
- Yes, yes. I'm on my way.
- Mmm, I miss you so much.
Look, babe,
what are you wearing?
- Traveling clothes.
- No, underneath that.
What are you wearing?
- Babe, I'm driving.
- Please tell me
the color of them panties.
- [Laughing]
Babe, it's too early for this.
- It's never too early.
- Aww.
Oh, babe. I miss you.
- [ Growls]
I'm trying to see what them
panties look like.
- Okay?
Well, I'm not wearing any --
- Who's Babe?
- [Screams]
[Horn honks]
- Dad!
What the hell
are you doing here?
- Yes? Hello, Babe!
Who are you?
[Cellphone beeps]
- Dad.
- Who's Babe?
- We have nothing
to talk about!
- We have plenty
to talk about!
Tell me!
- You've crossed the line
this time.
- Are you staying with Babe
in New York?
Talk to me!
[Cellphone beeps]
Oh, God. Don't tell me
you're dating a Pakistani.
You're dating a Pakistani!
You can't park here.
- The white zone is for
immediate loading
and unloading...
- Open the child-lock.
- Thanks for the surprise, Dad.
- parking.
- Bye.
- You can't park here!
- Excuse me! Excuse me, sir.
You can't park here.
[Indistinct conversations]
- Hi.
Flight 704 to New York, please.
- Okay.
Are you travelling alone?
- Yes.
- You look very exotic.
With your hair color,
I just can't tell
where you're from.
- I'm from Los Angeles.
- Right on. So am I!
I'm local, you're local.
We should hang out.
There's a great place
in Silver Lake.
You have any baggage?
- No.
- Yes.
- No.
- I'm with her.
- No, he's not.
- I'm her father.
- Is this your father?
- No.
- Yes, my ID.
And I'd like a seat
next to my daughter, please.
- You're not coming
to New York with me.
- I'm an old man
who wants to travel.
I've never been to New York.
- Oh, wow.
- He went two weeks ago.
- You know, uh,
when she was younger,
I used to carry her tickets,
passport, money,
everything with me right here.
Now, I just have my own.
I'm all alone.
- Can I have my boarding pass,
- And my only daughter's
embarrassed to sit next to me.
- Don't listen to him.
- Geez.
- I hate you, Dad.
- Excuse me, sir.
Run away.
That's what you're best at.
I know why you don't
want me at this exhibit.
It's because you're having
adult sleepovers
before marriage.
- Sir, this is a line.
- Yeah.
- Excuse me.
- Excuse me.
This is my daughter.
Would you mind very much
if I stood?
- Excuse me.
- Thank you.
- Excuse me, ma'am?
Can I just...
- In our country,
we have rules!
- This is my country.
- People, have your
shoes and jackets off
in the gray bins.
Let's keep this moving.
- Dad, stop following me.
- I have to follow you.
I'm in a line.
- You're just
embarrassing yourself.
- You want to know
what's embarrassing?
I'm the only member of
the Indian Doctors' Association
to have their child
drop out of medical school.
That's embarrassing.
All I ever wanted was for you
to become a doctor!
- Shh.
I never wanted
to become a doctor.
I just wanted
to make you proud.
- Then make me proud
by becoming a doctor!
- Dad, Papa, I'm done.
I'm done fighting with you.
- I just want you to have
a stable profession.
- I'm an artist.
- Do you know how much
we spent on your education?
- My photography
has been featured
in "La Couture De La Paris."
It's an important
French magazine.
- The picture with the breasts?
- You never had the eye
for real art.
- Picture taking
is not a stable profession!
- It's photography, Dad.
- Photography, pornography,
it's all the same thing.
When you were a little girl,
you used to say to me,
"Daddy, when I grow up,
I want to become a doctor
just like you."
- I was 7.
I believed in unicorns.
- You know, you look like
a hippie clown with that hair.
- Why are you insulting me?
- Purple hippie.
- Go home to Mom.
- Oh, insulting your father
in public is very nice.
- Yes!
[Body scanner beeps]
- I'm not proud
to be your father,
I'll tell you that.
[ Man speaks indistinctly over P.A.]
It's stuck.
This thing's broken.
[Body scanner beeps]
Would you stop being
a hippie clown
criminal pornographer
for just one second
and help your father?
- No! Stop talking to me!
- Sir, you're holding up
the line.
- Dad, what's that hanging
from your bag?
- It's a fuse!
- That's a bomb.
- Sir, put your hands
up in the air!
- What?
[Alarm blares]
- Put your hands over your head.
- Security! Gate 5!
- Security, gate 5!
- Security, gate 5!
- No, that's my father!
- She's coming through!
- Clear the area!
Clear the area!
- Keep still, sir.
- But I'm a urologist!
[Alarms blaring]
- Got this, uh, brown guy.
Think he's Pakistani.
Got his fanny pack here.
- [Muffled laughter]
Your mother's going to kill me.
- Mm.
- [Sighs]
- I'm so sorry, Dad.
- I'm sorry, too.
So... who's Babe?
You strap your fanny pack
On the front or the back
When the kids talk...
Make 'em take it back
I know you can't believe
The things you've heard
and you've seen
But my baby's afraid
of only one thing
It's your fanny pack
It's your fanny pack
It's your fanny pack
Oh, yeah
It's your fanny pack