Fart: A Documentary (2016) Movie Script

( farting )
Uh, Dad say,
"No more farts! "
When she farts,
it's always funny
Even if it smells
When I fart,
it's only sometimes funny
Depending on
a lot of factors
But when the dog farts,
it can be hilarious
To downright
goddamn dangerous
That air is toxic
Better hold your breath
Dog farts
How unfortunate, oh
Dog farts
Someone open a window
Dog farts
I think
he woke himself up
With that one
I thought, at last!
Somebody's making a film
about farting.
That's been
a long time coming.
I have to say at first when you
said that you were gonna do
a documentary on farting,
and I thought,
- Oh, my. Yeah.
- Who's gonna want
to watch that?
The first thing I said was,
"How can I be a part of this?"
Dog farts
How can a creature
so little
- Dog farts
- Make a smell so huge?
Because it's-- it's
a very interesting subject
and-- and underexplored,
and it's worthy
of closer attention.
- ( farting )
- ( audience laughs )
I'm now going to warm up--
warm up my sphincter myself
with a bit
of classical music.
( audience laughs )
My name is--
Do you want
my real name, or both names?
Real name
is Paul Oldfield.
But my alter ego,
because like any superhero
I need an alter ego
when I perform
my superhuman abilities.
- ( farting )
- Man: Oh!
So I metamorphasize
into Mr. Methane.
Male interviewer:
How-- how do you--
how do you prepare yourself
before you perform?
Um, I've been upstairs
in the dressing room
doing lots of stretches
and warm-ups.
- Okay.
- So, I've been tensing
using abdominals
so we're now fully relaxed.
- Okay, I see.
- So, uh...
They say in Spain and Brazil,
Seor Matano.
Okay, so, uh--
uh, what kind of activity
are we gonna see first?
First of all,
I've got a little bit
of fine talcum powder
and I'm going to sprinkle
a little bit on my bottom
so people can actually see
that I am breaking wind.
- Okay, so it's not a fake.
- That's exactly--
Because obviously people
sat at home...
- Uh...
- ( audience laughing )
- These...
- Yeah.
These-- these--
these people over here,
they've got what we call
"ringside seats."
- Yeah.
- ( laughing )
A little bit of talcum
on the bottom.
There we go.
- Like that.
- Okay.
Is it--
I haven't got a
rearview mirror.
- Is the, um...
- It looks very nice.
Is it well-covered?
- Okay.
- Yes, it's fantastic.
- Here we go.
- Thank you.
In Australia,
I-- down under,
I hold the record
for the most amount
of complaints
to a television show.
From five...
Four, three, two, one.
( audience guffaws )
All right!
Very good.
Can you guess
where this comes from?
( farting )
Mr. Methane.com
there is a Mr. Methane
website out there.
'Cause, if you're not
on the web now,
well, that's it.
- You're not in business.
- ( farting )
So, you know,
I've got a website,
Mr. Methane.com
Mr. Methane.com
( farting )
Male announcer:
The world's windiest website.
( farting )
Lovely. Lovely.
My background
field is actually
American literature.
But I developed
an interest in American humor.
I run the creative writing
program here.
And I teach a module
on how to write humor.
I happen to know,
features throughout
the history of humor.
I mean, I did a project
a few years back where
I went in search
of the oldest joke
in the world.
Um, we-- well,
you can't actually find the
oldest joke in the world
but the oldest joke
that I could find--
the oldest recorded joke,
in other words,
the oldest one-liner,
if you like,
is actually a fart joke.
( wind blowing )
( chattering )
( bongo drums playing )
Jim Dawson is my name,
and I write books.
I write books on, uh--
mainly non-fiction books.
Well, farting
was, it was--
it was a fairly
unexplored topic
back in 1997 and '98
when I wrote,
"Who Cut The Cheese?"
- Cut it!
- Who cut the cheese?
And when I pitched
it to my agent,
he-- he was extremely
happy to state,
he says, "I think
we can sell this book."
It seems to be,
as far his humorous potential,
it seems to be fair
the ubiquitous, I think,
across cultures
and throughout history.
And so,
the oldest recorded joke
is a fart joke
and fart jokes
are featured in jest books
throughout the ages.
It's about 4,000 years old.
And I'll tell you that joke
if you want to hear it.
Female interviewer:
Yeah, I do. I want
to hear it.
It's not...
- Don't expect too much of it.
- No, it's 4,000 years old.
It's all the-- exactly,
and it's the-- like all humor,
it's context dependent,
I suppose.
But it goes,
"Something that's never been
known since time immemorial
is a young lady
who didn't break wind
in her husband's embrace."
- Now, you're not
laughing, are you?
- No.
That's usually
the response I get to that.
Well first of all,
there's the sound of it.
( farting )
Or the sounds
of the funny little things...
- ( farting )
- ...that come out of it.
- ( farting )
- Oh!
Yeah, because--
Or it's 'cause that they
produce an embarrassing noise.
- ( fart )
- Man: Many people...
Try to hide.
( farting )
( laughter )
this is awesome!
All right. Here--
here we go. Here we go.
( rock skipping,
( ricochet
sound continues )
- ( farts )
- ( woman laughs )
( chattering )
( train brakes hissing )
( violin music playing )
When would you like to start
discussing the said subject?
( chuckles )
The camptown ladies
sing that song
( fart, fart,
fart, fart )
No, it is not.
You fart anywhere.
You fart anywhere.
In front of everybody.
The camptown racetrack's
five miles long
( farting )
I should be able to fart
anytime I want.
( woman laughing )
For God's sake.
- Gonna run all night
- ( farts )
- Gonna run all day
- (farts )
Well, I suppose
you don't expect women
to fart, do you?
Of course. We have
the same pipe works as you do.
I'll bet my money
on the bobtail hag
( fart, fart,
fart, fart )
So what about, um,
in the states,
is there a different attitude
to-- to farting?
( leaves rustling )
Some of it's
gonna come back up.
Woman #2:
...And once it gets
to the stomach,
It-- from the production
of changing
your food to poop.
Have you ever heard
of anybody
- lighting a belch?
- ( laughs )
Well, that's because
it doesn't-
it's two different gases.
( woman laughing )
Lighting a belch.
Probably wasn't funny
for the first caveman
that farted on the fire.
( laughing )
I'm just saying.
( farting )
Steve Baxter:
Anyway, going back to
the basis of farting,
it's-- it's a--
a metabolic process.
Quite natural.
So why do people
find it obnoxious?
- Well, the thing is--
- It's rude!
it's a bit
like smoking, isn't it?
When you smoke,
you affect other people.
And when you fart,
you can affect other people.
No, I think it's a problem
of education.
Just people,
society has established
that you don't do this thing
in front of people,
and that's it.
But there are some people
that do it.
Because men like noises.
Or a reaction.
And I have to wa--
I have to wait
to expect--
expect is the word,
I have to expect that my fart
will be a silent one.
- So nobody hears it.
- ( laughing )
That's when your cheeks
start to bulge.
( church bells tolling )
( man farting )
I get really upset
about this. Honestly.
- So you want equal rights
for farting.
- Exactly-- of course.
This is for my ladies
out there
Who have a problem
with their gas
- ( glass shattering )
- Man: In contrary
to what they would have
you believe...
girls do fart.
Fart is the bodily function
of passing
intestinal gas
also known as flatus
through the anus.
Female interviewer:
Have you heard
of Mr. Methane?
- No.
- Gentleman that does the...
I guess you could give
a little...
Male interviewer:
He's a professional farter.
Female interviewer:
Do you know of any
professional farters?
Uh, no,
as a matter of fact...
No, but do you know
who might pay him?
He could become one.
Oh, really?
Well, they've been around,
I think,
professional farters, for a--
for a number of years.
( record player
needle scratches )
( man speaking French )
Jim Dawson:
Because, you know
in France for example,
in the late 19th century
one of the top, uh...
one of the top stars
in Paris
was a guy named
Le Ptomane whose act
at the Moulin Rouge
was farting.
Paul Oldfield:
Le Ptomane, um...
Well, Le Ptomane,
whose real name
was Joseph Pujol,
performed at the Pink Windmill
at the Moulin Rouge
in Paris.
And he was--
where the famous
can-can dancers perform,
and he was
the highest paid act.
He grossed more than
the pop stars of the day,
which were
the opera singers,
and he performed
a fart show.
Even back in the days,
you know, in Roman days,
there was Le Ptomane
character then.
Beyond that
it's very difficult
to get the actual facts.
And he could suck wind
into his anus
and then he could
expel it at will.
And he had such control
over his sphincter
that he could--
that he could imitate
musical instruments,
animals, birds,
and he would often add,
"My mother-in-law."
( laughs )
See, you get this thing
you don't know
how much he's become...
if you like...
How much of it it's been
pumped up for the movie.
it's-- it's--
I suppose it's difficult
to know how...
It's difficult to get
to the bottom of it, really.
I would say that's the--
that's the problem.
And for a couple of years,
they would
actually have
medical people
in attendance
because women,
especially with their corsets,
you know, with--
They would go into these
hysterics over this guy.
He was so funny
that they would--
they couldn't
catch their breath
and they would be
passing out and--
and-- and so these people
would rush up
and, I guess,
loosen their corsets.
But-- but he
was extremely funny
and-- and-- and,
you know, even today,
there are people who,
you know, are still
doing that like
Mr. Methane
over in England.
- ( farting )
- ( audience laughing )
I know that I can do it.
So therefore, I know
that Le Ptomane existed,
and I don't think
the tale came out of--
- out of nowhere.
-( farts )
It, you know,
there was enough people
who actually, um,
recounted this tale
and it's become--
it has become folklore.
Maybe some of his
abilities were a bit,
if you like,
trumped up.
But still, I mean,
even though the French
would laugh
at farting,
you know,
it wasn't something
that was
socially acceptable.
In fact,
I was unable to find
any sort of culture
where it was truly accepted
as just, you know,
"Oh, yeah,
yeah, fart,"
you know, "Yeah, sure.
That's okay."
- ( farting sounds )
- ( audience laughing )
( farting loudly )
And Japan even--
you know, even had
a guy that did that
and there was a--
a famous scroll
which I talk about
in "Who Cut The Cheese"
and it told a story--
this goes back about maybe,
uh, about 300
or 400 years or so,
and, you know,
even in Japanese society,
you know,
farting was funny.
In some places, like,
there were some African...
uh-- uh, countries
where if you farted
in front
of the wrong person,
you could be killed.
( farting )
John Wycoff,
and the degree is D.O.
in the purest sense
is gas that's made
in the intestines,
usually from
the digestion of food
by various bacteria
and organisms.
I don't know why people
get so embarrassed
about farting.
After all,
it's a natural process,
isn't it?
( church bells tolling )
Some people say
that you get some bloating
and distension
in the abdomen
and, uh,
that can be relieved
by flatulence.
Sometimes some people--
they try to hold in
the flatulence
and that could be, uh,
can cause some discomfort.
You know,
if it's a bodily function,
there's cause and effect.
So something causes it.
Something causes
the gas to build up.
Something causes gas
to release, okay?
a chemical reaction.
Nothing serious
is gonna happen
by not passing flatus.
Female interviewer:
So it's not bad
for you then to hold...?
No, it's more...
It's gonna cause discomfort,
but noth-- nothing...
You're not gonna explode
or have any problems like that.
( farting )
There are a number
of theories of humor,
you know,
and you can theorize
farting relative
to all of them really.
It's a taboo,
I suppose.
Uh, so Freud would say,
it has comic potential
because it's
one of those things
that we repress.
It was difficult to...
Would you just excuse me
a minute?
( farts )
Oh, excuse me.
I just-- ah.
Uh, it was difficult
to actually--
Ooh, that's a bit..
I shouldn't have done that.
- Two, one.
- ( laughing )
Well, farting is--
yeah, we all do it.
Yeah, farting
is something that--
it's a very, very funny,
uh, for young children.
Once you reach
a certain age,
and you're supposed
to grow up
and grow out
of childish humor.
Fart four,
fart five, fart six...
Fart five,
fart 11,
fart 12...
I think that, uh,
the younger generations
tend to be more open
with a lot of things.
than when
I was coming up.
I mean, that's just a totally
different environment.
For them
it's somewhat...
It's-- it's--
everything is about humor.
So, yeah,
it's more accepted
because of the humorous
aspect of it.
You were talking about
the 16-year old
that stays
in the household.
It's about "funny."
Whereas before it was
about where you were at,
and if it was proper
based upon who was around you.
And now,
that's irrelevant.
Dalai Lama:
We are mentally,
we are same.
A point he rather
inadvertently proved
through an unexpected
story about gas.
When in airplane,
sometimes this
gas problem comes.
Then, you see,
difficult to let out.
( audience laughing )
So, occasionally,
you see, look around
then-- then you
let it out like that.
( laughs )
Female interviewer:
Now, are you the kind
of person that laughs
at the general
fart joke?
I laugh at fart jokes
and I laugh at farting.
I laugh in situations
where people fart.
I mean,
because as I say,
it always has
the potential to be funny.
There are
a variety of reasons
why that's
the case, I think.
Hi, I'm Mr. Safety,
and today I'm gonna teach you
how to hide
your farts in public.
We've got a tennis player
called John Newcombe.
Uh, and it's, um,
it's his birthday today,
so why don't we say,
uh, you celebrate
his great set
of fart
happy birthday
I said, and then
I've got some candles,
we'll put them
on the cake,
and we'll blow
them out.
And, uh,
that was very nice and--
( audience laughing )
You are still going,
I can hear.
I'm ready, yes.
We're going
to celebrate--
this is for
the people at home,
who may-- and people
in the audience,
who may have a birthday.
( host speaking
native language )
We're going to blow
the birthday cake--
- the candles out...
- Okay.
- ...one at a time.
- ( audience laughing )
Ah, just nice and low--
nice and...
( speaking native language )
Just-- just down there
a little...
- A little down there?
- There we go.
Okay, one...
- Is this the last one?
- Yes.
- Make a wish.
- Okay.
( cheers, applause )
And apparently afterwards,
the switchboard
at Channel 9
it was in meltdown.
I mean, it's
a surprising sound anyway.
- But it's surprising
when it comes out of...
- ( fart sound )
...somewhere you not
expecting it to come out of.
Everybody does it,
yet most people
are ashamed to fart.
( fart noise )
Most people don't even
like to talk about it.
They think
it's pretty gross.
( farting sound )
Here at JokeStrap,
we think farting's
pretty hilarious.
( mouthing words )
( farting noise )
You know what?
It's not just us.
A bunch of my friends
think farts are funny.
Ian Zagaglia:
That's probably
'cause all your friends
are in junior high school.
Both of them.
You know, sometimes
you just gotta let it rip.
And then I get
scared to death
that she's gonna walk
in my office.
I think so.
I mean, I think it's like
with any type of, uh,
socially, uh, maybe less
than acceptable symptom.
It's not something that people
readily discuss.
( farting noise )
( male interviewer speaking )
My kids. Yeah.
My husband.
- My husband.
- My Mom.
( laughing )
And my Dad.
Tolerated at home,
but not in public or in...
And not the dinner table.
That was a big thing.
- ( chattering )
- ( laughter )
Ian Mills:
I'd have to say
eventually, you know,
you learn your boundaries
and other peoples' boundaries.
And then you're,
all right, I'm not...
As soon as
you're done eating,
- it's fair game.
- Female interviewer: Right.
'Cause usually,
food creates that.
- ( farting noise )
- ( laughter, applause )
Being a co-worker,
we were at that comfortable
level where we would,
uh, fart around each other.
And they would often
make me go back
and hide
in the ATM room to fart
because they were smelly.
They didn't want me
to do it out in--
where the customers
would come in, but...
So, I don't know
what I had did to her,
but ticked her off
So we were down
opening a safe
where you had to have
two people.
So she did her part
and then I went down
to do my part
and her butt
was right by my head
and she farts
and you can, like,
feel it
on your face.
It was the most disgusting thing
I've ever experienced
- in my life.
- ( laughing )
I never had somebody
actually fart on my head
until that point.
And I'm hoping
that's the last time, but...
That's not normal
in workplaces,
and it shouldn't be.
You're fast asleep
when I feel one creep
I try to keep it
inside the bed
But like a good wine
That ages with time
Looks rotten
and it's starting to spread
You wake up in fear
That a fire is near
From the smell
of my own Dutch oven...
( farting noise )
Female interviewer:
Have you in present
or past relationships
farted in front
of your other half?
- Yup.
- Yes.
- ( laughing )
- Oh, my gosh, yes.
But farting
is one of those things
that is a sign
of a good relationship,
I think, isn't it?
Our first five years we dated,
he didn't fart at all.
If you can fart
in front of one another...
We got married,
he farted
for a whole frickin' week.
Uh, there's a lovely "homey"
quality to the relationship,
and, uh, you know, it's a
positive thing, isn't it?
Female interviewer:
After five years
you changed your mind
and felt good to go.
- No.
- No, okay.
eating her food.
Seriously, no women
aren't supposed to fart.
- Cameraman: Why not?
- Well, I don't know.
It's the way
he was brought up.
I don't know
who told you that.
Oh, uh...
It maybe bothers
you if a woman...
Because a woman
is more delicate?
- And, uh...
- Ladylike.
But then we have
to put a cork in there.
I have a crazy story
that I don't even know
why I'm admitting this.
But I was dating a man
and we were
at a hotel
and I felt
a fart coming on
and I grabbed
the blanket
and I pulled it up
and I stuffed it in
and it was the worst thing
I ever could have done.
I don't know whether
the acceptability
of family farting
varies much
from family to family.
I guess it must.
I mean, I'm sure
the Queen
and Prince Philip
don't sit there
watching TV at night,
ripping them off,
do they?
- No.
- I'm sure they do.
So they, "Call the butler
to bring the air freshener in,
will you?"
Maybe they do.
I don't know.
The poor guy got to bed
and he said,
"What're you trying
to do, kill me?"
I couldn't be with somebody
that didn't think
that was the funniest thing
in the whole wide world.
I grew up with my parents
having farting contests.
They would start
at the top of the stairs
and see who could go
down and who could keep
farting down the--
- Oh, my gosh.
- That's how I grew up.
People that don't think
it's funny...
Did you have
to eat a special meal
before you did that?
Well, the cousins--
We all have special foods
that we would eat
- and have farting contests.
- ( all laughing )
Growing up,
it was not something
that was easily talked about.
It was kind
of said to be something
that you didn't want
to do in public.
( farting
to "The Blue Danube" )
( audience guffawing )
( cheers and applause )
Yeah, the people--
like my best friend in the world
that does not think
that it's funny.
So it's twice
as funny to me.
So I try to, like, lock all
the windows and I'll be like,
"Oh, did you--
Oh, guess what?"
I had the exact
opposite upbringing.
You know, my Dad
was all about farting
and, you know,
He, uh-- we would
drive around in the car--
he's a classic rock fan,
and he would always try
to fart to the tunes.
- And when--
- ( chuckles )
uh, "Smoke On The Water"
by Deep Purple was on,
and that's like
his shining moment
when he perfectly
just released a fart
to "Smoke On The Water."
It was amazing.
( farting in sync
with "Smoke on the Water" )
Your story is completely
different from mine growing up.
Because I didn't
fart as a child.
- And-- and my brother--
- What did you do?
I had four brothers
and a sister
and I would--
if they would say,
Laura, did you fart today?
I would've said, "No."
Because I was so completely
embarrassed by it.
( gasps )
I think
it's absolutely hilarious
because usually women
are so prim and proper.
And, you know,
it's not prim and proper
for a lady to cut one.
But, yeah,
I think it's the most
hilarious thing
when you see them do it.
It's just that,
you know,
you got to be open
to allow it.
And when women do it,
it's-- it's hilarious.
Because, you know,
it's-- oops.
Yeah, you don't
always expect it.
Oh, yeah, oh, yeah.
That's always the cover-up,
Oh, I'm so sorry."
And, you know,
for guys it's like,
"Hey, it happened."
In the most basic
sense it's funny,
but it's not funny
when you're taught by society
that it is something
you shouldn't do.
Especially women.
"You shouldn't do that."
Men can do that in the gym
or in the locker room
or whatever,
but women don't do that--
polite ladies don't do that
at the dinner table....
- Other than your family.
- I know.
My Dad's the same way.
"Oh, it's not gonna smell."
And then releases
the most disgusting fart
you've ever heard
and then just keeps
the window up.
It's like, "Come on,
have some respect."
Oh, yeah.
The sulfur from eggs.
We used to do
the whole--
we'd eat my aunt's
broccoli salad, deviled eggs,
and my aunt's
baked beans.
And then we would all go
lock ourselves in...
our "bunk house"
and go to town.
Yeah, my boys,
you know, have fart
contests all the time.
Yeah, so there's
a lot of-- lot of gas.
( laughing )
- Lots and lots of gas.
- Yeah.
Well, my 16-year old,
him and his buddy,
we were staying
at, um...
We got a hotel room
and I told them--
because they are horrible,
they smell so raunchy.
I don't even know
what they eat.
My sister is all about
gender equality now.
So, everybody's
allowed to fart, I guess.
They still do that,
but it has to be in jest.
I mean, you can't really
be disgusted by anything
that they do because...
then you're not
in relationship
the way that you should be.
On a first date,
I'm not gonna do it.
Female interviewer:
What if she did?
I would probably
laugh about it.
It's definitely
not a game changer.
- It's not a mood kill?
- No. It could be depending on
what mood you're in.
We were over at the lake
and it was Christmas time,
and my Dad
was being so sweet.
He said,
"Why don't you give me
the keys to the car
and I'll go
scrape off your windows,
and I'll warm it up
for you?"
I was like,
"That's so nice."
And so I did.
I gave him the keys
to the car and stuff
and when I went
out there,
he had not only scraped it,
but had turned the heat on high
and had repeatedly farted
in there for a good 20 minutes.
And I smelled that
all the way home.
Well, one time he did
this big adult fart, like...
( imitates fart )
Female interviewer #2:
Where were you?
Well, we were
just in the car
- driving for some...
- ( fart noise )
Driving is a big issue
in our family,
'cause we took
a lot of road trips
and they want you
to hear it and they
want you to smell it.
So there's no,
"I'm gonna roll
the window down
even if you
can't hear it,"
'cause I'm gonna wait
for you to smell it.
And my sister
was always the one
who would be sleeping
in the backseat
and then all of a sudden
it's like, "Come on!"
You have
to roll the window down.
You're waking her up.
- Sometimes when
we're in the car...
- ( blowing raspberries )
America is facing
an ongoing energy crisis.
As oil gets scarcer,
gasoline gets more expensive.
And the planet suffers.
Electric cars...
Most of their electricity
comes from coal fired plants
or nuclear reactors.
So, what's the answer?
How about a car
that's good looking,
and runs on clean,
responsible natural gas?
( farts )
Your natural gas?
There's probably 10 kids
in the back of my friend,
Sara's mother's truck,
and somebody did it.
And we didn't know
who did it.
And it was probably
a 10 minute drive
from the church
to the house.
So the whole way home
it was just the kids
back and forth
and back and forth
and back and forth.
And, "It was you.
I know it was you."
And there was a lot
of boys in the car
And everybody
was just arguing
to the point
of getting really angry.
And finally,
her mother said,
"Would you just shut up?
It was me."
And we all
just stopped, like,
"Wait a minute.
That's a Mom."
That wasn't
supposed to happen.
Announcer: Introducing
the Flatula Backfire.
It runs like the wind.
- Because it's running--
- ( farts )--
- ...on wind.
- ( farts )
- Here's how it works.
- ( farts )
Using state-of-the-art
sanitary technology,
Flatula captures
all your emissions
and efficiently
channels them
directly to a powerful
turbo-charged engine.
It's clean energy--
green energy.
And best of all...
it's renewable.
If something slipped out
at dinner or in the car
or something,
I would laugh about it,
and I would probably...
It would make me feel
like they were comfortable
enough to do it
and-- you know,
I'm-- I'm not...
gonna never call
somebody again
because they farted.
So you wouldn't be
judgmental about it.
Oh, I would judge
the hell out of 'em,
but it's not gonna make me
not wanna see them again.
The Backfire's range
is practically unlimited.
But if you should happen
to run low, don't worry.
You're never too far
from a Flatula authorized
service center.
where trained,
qualified providers
stand ready
to fill your tank
with the gas
that's right
for your driving needs.
( farting )
Flatula Backfire...
It's not just
a smart car,
it's the fart car.
( farts )
( laughing )
No, I think
the worst place
is a funeral.
No, I think it's fine.
You could do it
with your partner
wherever you're at.
Oh, that would
just ruin it for me.
Well, it's not exactly sexy,
but, I mean...
Not everything about that
encounter is always, is it?
Sometimes it's funny,
so, you know.
TV shows, movies,
you don't really see
the women and the fart jokes.
That's-- I guess
"Bridesmaids" had a scene
with farting and diarrhea
that was, I thought,
one of the funniest scenes
in the movie.
And, I think, playing up
on the social idea
that women are not supposed
to fart makes it funnier.
Female interviewer:
Why is it that men
find it funnier than women?
Do they?
It is a man's thing.
and we find it funny
that the women don't like it.
Female interviewer:
Do you think that women
laugh at fart jokes
as much as men?
Uh, yes, especially
if it's men doing it.
Or somebody in a very
proper situation.
that you just know
would mortify you to death,
but it's not you
so you get to laugh.
If it's on the other foot,
I've often thought about this.
You know, if a woman
farted, you know,
than it's a massive
turnoff for a guy.
Do you know what I mean?
It's like, "Whoa," you know.
I'm always one that,
if you're gonna do it,
take the credit
for it, you know?
It does not excuse him
for holding the blankets
over my head at night.
Yeah, holding
the covers down.
We call that
the "Dutch oven."
My Mom doesn't really
make any farts.
Cameraman #2:
Is she the silent type?
And then, um...
And then she, um...
Well, we always say
her farts smell like roses.
'Cause they don't.
Is that what she
tells you to say?
With no one else
to frame
I take the blame
You can't believe
it's been me the whole time
Rotting gas
Whoa ooh whoa oh oh,
ho ooh oh oh oh
Smells like ass
Oh ooo oh oh oh
- I think I farted
- In the bed
- I think I farted
- In the bed
- I think I farted
- In the bed
I think I farted
No, it's social acceptance
and it's a difficult one,
because even I,
as a performing flatulist,
understand that.
( farting )
People say to me,
"Hey, don't break wind in here."
You know, and like,
well, look, I'm a professional.
You know, I've got
more control than you.
So that's rubbish,
you know.
It's not
dinner table subject
except at our dinner table
some times,
but that's just because
somebody just did it.
We had standards.
You weren't supposed
to just go into church
or something
and fart loud
and get a high five for it,
but you know, it--
So you still
had to have respect
for your surroundings
and especially
big public places.
And, you know, my parents
would get embarrassed,
or my Mom
moreso than my Dad.
My Dad would give you
the high five, down low,
but, you know,
keep it hidden.
I can't-- I don't know
if there is any one story
people talk about having
flatulence on airplanes,
in job interviews
and the social embarrassment
that goes along with it
associated with that.
Work or having sex
would be the worst.
That is when
it's not acceptable.
I disagree.
( all laughing )
- ( farts )
- ( men shouting )
It came out and I got
more coverage on that
and sold more of that than all
my other books combined.
remember this man
- because this man
- ( speaking native language )
will be able to tell you
that Mr. Methane
does trump
from his bottom.
Because now,
this gentleman
is going to place
his left earlobe
on my anus.
( laughter )
And we're going to fart
in his ear.
Farting was still
fairly, uh...
It was still fairly taboo
in the United States
and, uh, they had all these
morning zoo programs
and they were looking for
any excuse they could find
just to say
the word "fart"
or to play
fart effects on,
you know--
you know,
on the air.
So, after the book
came out in February of '99--
for like
the next six months
I was up pretty much
every morning around 4:00
doing all these
morning zoo shows.
Oh man,
it was just--
I was laughing so hard
I was crying,
but I was totally
It was awful.
Welcome, sir.
- Tommy.
- Tommy.
Welcome, Tommy.
Come and put your left ear
over my anus.
Nice and close.
The left not the right.
It's-- not the right,
- the left.
- The left.
- The left.
- Oh, okay, okay.
This is nothing
gay here.
This is like men bonding
like Vikings, okay?
- Make him close.
- Nice and close.
- Okay?
- ( speaking native language )
It does not have teeth.
It does not bite.
Even closer, closer.
Here we go.
( overlapping chatter )
Okay, five...
Four, three,
two, one.
( farts )
But that's the worst part,
when you think
you have to fart
and you're
really worried
that it might
not be a fart.
( laughs )
Ah... Doo-doo.
( speaking native language )
Sammy, Sammy,
I want to thank you...
That-- that--
that was real.
That was-- that was...?
That was definite real.
- I'm serious.
- Woman: True.
You know,
you walk away
and that might
leave a mark.
Oh, God.
Don't do that.
Uh, sorry about
the mess there.
- Man: Mr. Methane?
- You'll have to wash it off.
I just said
"doo-doo" again.
We're just setting up
the competition.
- ( laughs )
- I'm just saying.
Female interviewer:
Is that when you go look
for a restroom
at that point?
- Well, it might be too late.
- Too late.
Uh, that was maybe
a fart fret in English.
What do you think?
He tried fart hard.
He tried, yes,
but you've got to make sure
you don't go
all the way.
You know,
it's difficult.
You have to get
the balance right,
'cause you can have
an accident.
This is my signature look.
I think I may have
just pooped myself.
Like, there is a girl
that Troy and I work with
that came in--
and she came in
and she's kinda higher up,
and she's like,
"Well, I have a question"--
all serious.
And as she opened her mouth
to ask the question,
her butt opened
at the same time,
and she just farted
all the way through
this question
- and went, "Oops."
- ( fart )
I couldn't even focus.
I just kinda...
And I thought,
I'm at work. I can't laugh.
'Cause I--
it's not funny at work.
I mean, it is funny,
but I would never do it at work.
And when she left,
as soon as she--
I knew she got down
to her office--
I couldn't control myself
the rest of the day.
The day was over.
Like, they should have
just sent me home.
Like, she just said,
"Oh, whoops."
And then walked out.
Like not even
"excuse me, " but just...
I'm like, you just
opened your mouth
and your butt
at the same time.
How can you even
face me ever again?
And being a boy,
you know how it was,
we just, you gotta go,
you gotta go.
- ( fart )
- Absolutely.
So, it's a natural, human
bodily function anyway, so...
Female interviewer:
But it was seen as rude.
It was seen as rude,
The louder you sing,
the louder I fart.
( speaking native language )
I do feel in any case,
um, in company,
there's a time and a place
for the farting.
And-- and--
and I don't start to fart
around the dinner table,
you know,
unless I really know
the people there,
and they're
comfortable with it
'cause they understand
that social etiquette.
- I am ready.
- Let's start!
All together now.
Let's do it!
( fart )
My name is--
( fart )
Yes, that's exactly
what my name is.
And today,
I give you the history
of the whoopee cushion.
( farts )
No, but at my wedding
they tried to put a
whoopee cushion on my chair,
and my kid
thought that was--
My uncles are the ones
that brought the darn thing.
Ready, set--
( airhorn blares )
- ( fart )
- ( woman cheering )
The first known item
that resembled a whoopee cushion
was used by a Roman emperor
by the name of...
And he tried
to get me to go sit down
and tried to,
you know, be all nice
and lead me
by my hand
and-- like he was gonna
see his mother and all...
And I saw the thing
underneath my seat cover
and that blew
the whole thing off of him--
all of 'em.
So, I didn't sit on it.
( audience cheering )
This company
put the word "whoopee"
on-- on-- on--
on this cushion--
whoopee cushion--
and bingo.
Then years later
in the early 1900s,
two factory workers
who were experimenting
with leftover scraps
of rubber...
( farting )
that if they glued
two pieces
of rubber together,
they could make them
"farter face."
( farting )
- ( audience cheering )
- Man: Go! Go!
It wasn't
the sort of thing
that you would put,
have a big advertisement
in the "New Yorker," you know?
( audience cheering )
But the thing, you know,
caught on and-- and--
uh, and these were like
mail-order companies.
The owner
of Gem Rubber Co.,
the company where
the factory workers worked,
took this new item
to the marketing geniuses
of Samuel Adams
of sneezing powder fame
in the early 1900s,
but he passed
on the product
saying that it was completely
and totally undignified.
You'd see them
in the back of a--
of a-- just a regular
magazine comic book
and order it
and they would
send it to your door.
And it became
part of our culture.
The rubber guy then went
to Sam's competitor...
That one was silent.
...the Johnson-Smith
He sold novelty items
such as fake vomit,
X-ray goggles,
and a buzzing handshaker.
- ( fart )
- ( audience cheering )
I don't even know
if people use 'em
as whoopee
cushions anymore.
I think they buy 'em
just to have it, you know,
just showing somebody
a whoopee cushion
has the effect.
He saw the inherent value
in the whoopee cushion,
and he began marketing
it immediately.
At which point
Samuel Adams then said,
that's a great idea."
And made his own version
of the whoopee cushion
called the
raspberry cushion,
which is what
the English people
call farts.
You know, it's like
Pavlov's dog at this point.
All you have to do
is see the thing
and then they laugh.
- You know?
- ( fart )
( people grunting,
( audience chanting )
Go! Go! Go!
( cheering )
Three, two, one.
( airhorn blares )
Oh, hello and welcome
to "Fart by Mail."
You might be
asking yourself,
"What exactly
is 'Fart by Mail'"?
In the back it said,
"Farts just like Dad
used to make."
Oh, that should be good.
( fart )
It's a mail order
fart service
where we send farts
to your friends for you.
( farting )
( man laughing )
Your friends
also get a stunning
professionally printed
full colored
greeting card.
( farting )
Your custom message,
a heinous odor,
and a hilarious
fart sound.
I peeled something
that said "peel off."
It says,
"Smell here."
I think I would
avoid that at all cost.
It smells
like real poo.
Yeah, I guess
that would be from our son.
( man laughing )
Um, I saw a
fart extinguisher
which had...
It was an air freshener,
but it was in a little
extinguisher bottle.
It was very-- very clever.
Quite a practical joke.
It would've been a gift
to give you father.
You saw the Santa
fart doll.
( bell tinkling )
On the first day
of Christmas
My true love
said to me
'Twas the night
before Christmas
and all through
the house,
not a creature
was stirring,
not even a--
( farting )
Ho ho ho ho!
Santa Claus was saying
"The Night Before Christmas"
and he let it rip
and he'd laugh
and then he'd modify
his story a little bit
to include it.
It was a-- yeah,
it's a strange thing.
And all the cookies,
I hold in my cap,
I had just settled down
to take a big--
( farting uncontrollably )
It's just--
it's beginning to smell
a lot like Christmas!
( farting continues )
( laughing )
Here comes Santa Claus.
( farting )
( laughing )
Radio DJ:
Ooh wee!
Ever notice
how possum taters
and chicken fried antlers
go right through ya?
- She'll be comin' around
- ( farts )
- She'll be comin' around
- ( farts )
She'll be coming
round the mountain
- When she comes
- ( farts )
I think they
normally complain,
but are laughing
on the inside.
No, we complain
about the smell.
That's a whole
'nother thing.
( speaking native language )
( chattering )
Lots of comedy
in the UK is actually
based around, uh,
farting, isn't it?
Good-- yeah,
I like the idea.
Bloody good.
He try--
I think when people
onstage get nervous,
the muscle tenses up,
they're unable to fart
it's very difficult
to come up here and fart.
When my daughter was little,
she'd sit on my lap
and she'd fart
and, "Oh, my God."
Jaken, you're the king
of walking by someone
and farting
and then leaving.
What do we call that?
( muttering )
You know, crop dusting.
Crop dusting.
( laughing )
There was a time
and a place though,
but my Mom and Dad
when we would go
to the grocery store,
my Dad would, you know,
leave one somewhere
waiting for my Mom
to walk in and it'd be like...
( laughing )
Or you're walking through
the mall or something,
you're like, oh my God,
what is that...?
'Cause you know
it wasn't you.
But somebody left that market
and there is no one there.
It was that bad
that it just kinda
sat there for a while.
- ( laughing )
- Never mind.
No matter how hard I pray
My gas won't go away
I'll know
that it's not okay
The foul stench
of flatulence
comes from the bacteria
inside our intestines.
In the process of converting
food into useful nutrients,
the bacteria produces
a smelly byproduct called...
Fart generating
ingredients include...
What's unusual is,
how loud or how stinky.
That's what sets--
that's what sets you apart.
I think
it's different
f you're the donor
or the receiver.
( farting )
Dr. Wycoff:
You know the odor issue
really runs the gamut.
It probably
relates more
to the type of foods
that you had to eat.
So I don't think
odor is something
that you can reproducibly
or predictably
use as an indicator.
a persistent foul odor
that's maybe
different than the past
and continues maybe
of some significance.
But for the clinician,
it's very hard to use odor
as a gauge
of what's going on.
You know, typically
when you have a loud fart,
it doesn't smell.
Female interviewer:
What's worse,
noisy or stinky?
Oh, stinky.
No, it's a smell-noise
thing, isn't it?
No, the smell is terrible,
but if it's not noisy
and you don't know
who's done...
Female interviewer:
Is this true?
Nothing worse
than a silent stinker.
You know, usually
you got the noise maker
- that has no impact.
- ( fart noise )
And then those
silent but deadly ones
that kinda
clear the room.
He's both all in one.
We got the best
of both worlds.
Yeah, he's got--
he's both.
I'm a toss-up.
You never know.
You never know.
And then you have--
you come into
which is the most
obnoxious type, is it?
- The silent but violent.
- That's bad.
Or the noisy
but innocent.
Worse, in terms
of producing humor,
uh, I think,
noise has more potential
to produce humor.
( chattering )
( farting )
( men shouting )
As far as what might
make me a bit squeamish,
I think
it's the smell.
I don't know
if he held it in
for that time or what.
You know,
the noise is funny,
but when it smells
so bad...
- That you can just taste it?
- ...that's just gross.
That's a bonus.
Well, Jaken,
do your farts reek?
They really do.
I mean,
I didn't mind smells
associated with farts
too much
until I learned
that smells are actually
produced by
physical molecules.
And whenever
I remember that--
whenever I think
there's something physical--
from somebody else's...
in my nostrils,
then that tends
to make me a bit queasy.
Female interviewer: Thank you
for teaching me that.
Female interviewer:
Yeah, there's actually
particles in the air.
Yeah, we know.
We don't wanna think about it.
( gasps )
Yeah, you really
are tasting it.
( groaning )
Female narrator:
The "escapee,"
which takes place
when trying to pee
at the urinal
or forcing a poop.
( giggling )
It's not like
you just pooped on him.
- I mean, it...
- Well, sorta.
- It's in the air.
- I know.
It went down
his throat, right?
Female narrator:
This is almost
always followed
by an overwhelming sense
of shame and embarrassment.
If this does take place,
remain calm.
Pretend it did not happen.
If you are in the vicinity
of this happening,
do not acknowledge.
It is uncomfortable
for all involved.
( multiple farting noises )
Well, children
absolutely adore farting.
Just about every family--
no matter how proper
they are, you know,
has some kind
of little expression
that they use
with the kids.
You know,
because everybody farts
and kids fart,
and kids find farts funny.
So adults
have to deal with it
in one way
or another.
( card farting )
( giggling )
So they would have
all these expressions like,
"Somebody let Fluffy
of the leash."
- ( fart noise )
- ( giggling )
Uh, "Did somebody
step on a duck?"
And if you've ever
farted in the shower,
you know, facing away
from the shower,
you know that when
you fart it-- it--
it makes a
quacking sound.
- You know?
- ( ducks quacking )
- Quack.
- ( quacking )
When it came time
for this third book,
that just seemed like a--
like a good title.
- ( farting noise continues )
- Boy: Stop!
What does your daddy
do that stinks?
- He farts.
- ( laughing )
Is that funny?
And I'm brilliant
at making children laugh.
If you--
if I want--
if you happen to be
on a long-haul flight,
and there's
a child crying,
then I can--
I can stop them crying.
I can make them laugh.
And I do it
by doing this.
( farting )
Within seconds,
they're falling about.
Ah, there's
just something...
With adults
it doesn't work
quite so well.
- ( farting )
- Woman: Never mind.
With children,
they love it.
There's just something
about that sound.
( blowing raspberries )
My kids like my fart app
on my kindle.
Male announcer:
If you need to clear
a room fast
or just make someone laugh,
iFart for the iPhone
may be just what
you're looking for.
Select any of the sounds,
but with new features
like sound recorder,
"Fart a Friend"
and many more...
( various fart
noises playing )
iFart charges everything.
Think of it though.
It's a noise that comes out
of your butt.
- Well, in the--
- How is that not funny?
Please don't say goodbye
I know that most girls
Try to keep
their flatulence inside
But I can't lie
I need a man
who knows the past
A lot of gas,
that smells the gas
Is here to last
for infinity to beyond
- Rotting gas
- ( vocalizing )
- I farted
- ( vocalizing )
- Smells like ass
- ( vocalizing )
- I definitely farted
- ( vocalizing )
- I think I farted
- On a wall
- I think I farted
- In the bed
- I think I farted
- On the TV
I think
I fa a-a-a-a
- Rotting gas
- ( vocalizing )
I'll be
coming round the mountain
- When she comes
- ( fart noise )
I'll be coming
around the mountain
when she comes
( fart noise )
Uh, one candle is still...
- Oh, one left.
- One left now.
Make a wish.
Make a wish.
( laughs )
( grunts, farts )
My kids can't do it
without announcing it.
They'll do it and of course,
the whole world hears it.
- Mom, I farted!
- ( laughter )
Yeah, pull my finger.
( laughter continues )
Gail Hale:
Well, we were--
we were on a cruise ship
and my sisters and--
we were on the elevator...
Oh, the elevator fart.
...and the elevator
door opened
and these people
were getting in and I said,
"You don't
wanna come in here."
Do not go in there.
Female interviewer:
It was him.
- Yeah.
- I don't recall this story.
- It was in Alaska.
- Ah.
Dog farts
How unfortunate,
oh, no
Dog farts
Someone open a window...
- Female interviewer: Right.
- Yes.
Female interviewer:
So, what would you say
is your most embarrassing
fart story?
( continual farting noise )
It's embarrassing
for the person that does it,
isn't it sometimes?
None of them
are embarrassing for me.
- He just lets it rip.
- When it's time it's time.
I think, yes,
it's obviously
if you're with
complete strangers
or people you've just
recently met.
And, uh, I think
in some circumstances
if someone does,
it's followed by silence,
and, um--
awkward silence.
I'm not sure
I get embarrassed
about farting.
One time I had this
big fart at Target...
In that sense,
it's not something
that I associate
with, uh--
uh, humor
in my own life really.
I can imagine some
very prim and proper situations
where the one that did it
was probably
terribly embarrassed
or mortified.
But everybody around
'em was just...
Couldn't wait
to get outside
to bust out laughing
You know.
Yes, of course,
if it's people
you know or family,
then, uh, uh--
will make a witty...
- Remark?
- Remark. That's right.
If I wanna fart,
I just do.
It's not-- it's not me.
I-- I don't fart.
Cameraman #2:
If you toot,
do you blame it
on somebody else?
Kind of no,
not really.
Cameraman #2:
So you take responsibility
for your own farts?
Of course I do.
Then how'd you know
it was me?
We knew.
I don't know
what you're hearing,
but it's not me.
You normally don't
raise your hand.
( laughs )
- That was me.
- ( fart noise )
Yes, I...
I mean, I don't
announce it, uh, obviously.
( blowing raspberries )
That was me.
( blowing raspberries )
That was me.
sometimes I do announce it.
Uh, but, I mean,
it depends on the company,
I guess.
Sometimes I just--
you know, I sneak them out...
Same as everybody else does.
Female interviewer :
Right. Yeah.
( fart noise )
Um, originally,
when I started, obviously,
I discovered this ability
to breathe, um--
with the bottom end.
I'm just gonna
give you one for level.
( farting )
( laughing )
That was, uh,
that was George Michael,
that was.
( laughing )
A careless whisper.
I was introduced
by Kelsey Grammer--
Fraser of Cheers...
Two, one...
( laughter )
...you know,
and he gives a monologue
and then he's
with a lady actress,
um, I think her name
was Brett Butler,
and she says,
"Oh, that farting guy
was awful."
You know,
his anecdote is...
it's the first thing
we ever laugh at in life,
and possibly the only thing
we can always laugh at.
I-- I think--
I think you know what's
going on here now.
Um, then it becomes
less funny and, uh,
adults who are--
who aspire to be more
sophisticated and cultured
tend to try
and distance themselves
from that kind of humor.
Uh, but it's like
any taboo, I suppose,
uh, it always
has the potential
to resurface
in humorous ways.
And so,
it always tends
to have a-- you know,
a-- a humorous
potential farting.
Um, but, yes,
I mean, it's--
it's more
associated with, uh,
and childish humor.
Which is a shame.
Swift, you know,
wrote a lot of things
about people farting
because he saw
that as an expression
of our basic humanity
that we're always
trying to cover up.
And, therefore,
it's always funnier
than it really is.
Didn't you say something
about the...
You were in
the underground in London
- with a lot of people.
- Oh, that's right.
- What is it?
- I went to a soccer match--
football match--
many years ago,
and it was
absolutely packed, you--
like sardines...
Woman over P.A.:
This is a Piccadilly line
service to Oxbridge.
...and you couldn't move.
Couldn't move.
One of my colleagues
from work had been
drinking beer,
hot dogs, onions--
- the whole lot...
- What a mixture.
Well, anyway,
halfway along the journey,
he dropped one.
The moment, um, I...
I tentatively
made this claim,
to be the world's
only performing flatulist.
There were moans and...
You could tell--
you could actually hear it
passing up the coach,
the carriage
I'm not so tentative now,
because I know
there are other flatulists
or other people
who perform my art.
As the complaints
moved up the train,
gosh, and nobody could--
you couldn't escape.
You couldn't walk away.
You couldn't do anything.
- ( laughing )
- It was disgusting.
But to actually go out there
and perform a show
and-- and--
and make a living out of it,
uh, which I do...
- ( farting )
- ...Strangely, I--
I still find it bizarre.
You know, and there's times
when I try and retire.
And it's like a calling,
it pulls me back.
It pulls me back.
It says, "You won't do that.
No. You will
go to Japan, you know,
and you will fart on the
television on Fuji TV.
One, two...
For the entertainment value,
of course.
Not-- not lots of times,
but on the few occasions
I've had hostile,
um, sort of reactions
from an audience.
( farting )
Luckily, it's not
a lot of the time.
And I've had to sort of say,
well, obviously,
it's not for you
and just wind it up.
I think once
was a BMW sales conference.
I am ready.
Is the orchestra ready?
- Are you ready?
- Yes.
( fart )
He said, come on the show
and we'll sing a duet.
So I came on the show
and we sang a duet
of "Da Doo Ron Ron."
I met him on a Monday
and my heart stood still
( farting melody )
It was, you know,
it was a piece
of classic television.
And my heart stood still
( farting melody )
That was it.
I was never shown on the BBC.
And by today's standards
it's quite mild.
- And his name was Bill
- ( farting melody )
But at the time,
it was just, no, no.
I mean, we're going back,
I think it was '90...
'97-- 1997, so, you know,
attitudes were different.
( farting )
And, really,
when I create something,
it's a labor of love.
I just take it
and reform it,
but, you know,
it's still a labor of love.
This is what I do
as a job.
And-- and-- and to me,
that's a work of art.
Da doo ron ron ron
- ( farting )
- ( laughing )
( sighs heavily )
It's just a fart.
You know to me,
all you have to do
is fart over it.
You don't realize
what a lot of hard work
goes into that,
um, farting, really.
You know, I once
recorded a version
of "In The Air Tonight"
by Phil Collins.
- I remember
- ( farting )
It's a very...
You know, music
is a precious creation.
It's something
they've created.
So they're very--
you like to laugh.
A lot of big artists
like the fact
that I've done
"In The Air Tonight"
by Phil Collins.
You know, but if you
turn around to them and say,
well, could we do one
of your tracks?
Oh, no, no,
no, no, no, no.
So, they like to laugh,
but you-- we mustn't
despoil their work.
( laughter, applause )
All right.
I do understand
that-- that, you know,
when you create something
and it's a work of,
you know, in your eyes
that's a work of art--
it's a labor of love,
and then a guy comes along
and farts all over it.
- I remember--
- ( farts )
Jim Dawson:
In this country,
there's been some big changes
since my book came out.
In 1999,
when "Who Cut The Cheese?"
came out, uh,
of course,
there were a lot
of films by that time
that had farting gags
in 'em.
But the "L.A. Times,"
for example,
would not
use that word.
And then over time,
I saw that--
that they've started
using the word "fart"
in the, you know...
If they were talking
about old people, you know,
he's a, you know,
he's an old fart.
We're so old,
we fart dust.
And then gradually,
they would start--
they would
quote someone
that said something
about fart jokes
after a while,
the idea of fart
jokes and films
became sort of like
a big topic out here.
Because every comedy
had at least
one fart joke scene.
You know, and it became
sort of like, you know,
like a, um...
a bad example
of comedy.
You know,
is there, you know,
can there be at least
one comedy film
that doesn't have
a fart joke in it?
But I-- I think
a lot of the--
a lot of sort
of comedy cowboy movies--
Yeah, well,
"Blazing Saddles"
is the classic.
Well, if somebody
would make a comment like that,
the "L.A. Times"
would print it.
So, gradually, they would,
you know, they would...
The word "fart"
crept into the, um, newspaper,
and I think
that really expresses
the overall acceptance
that's been going
on for the last,
well, let's see,
what, this is,
uh, 2013.
So we're
talking about,
you know,
if it was 14 years ago.
I think generally it's best
for people to get them out.
- Ah...
- ( laughs )
- Because...
- ( indistinct )
...there's nothing
worse than a cooked one.
( all laughing )
A lot of humor is sho--
shock and shame,
you know, that's--
that's all part
of what's funny.
- We're all
on the same road...
- Yes.
...with an ultimate goal,
but we're all.
different travelers
And also same
experience of gas.
( laughing )
I don't think
I'll ever forget this day.
( all laughing )
Well, it reminds us
that no matter
how high and mighty
we may think we are,
we may think
we're part of the--
we're-- we're--
we're part of the angels
or something,
but when it comes
down to it,
we're just like
the dogs and the cats.
You know--
( fart )--
when, you know,
we poop and pee and fart
just like everybody else.
Like all the other
animals out there.
( man speaking
native language )
( farting )
Hey, Randy,
are farts flammable?
Yes, Ian.
Farts are flame-able.
The proper way to light a fart
is to lie on your back
- with your legs up.
- ( straining )
They're probably
more of what I would call
one of those
Internet wives' tale.
the hydrogen sulfide
that's produced in the bowel
had some potential
to ignite...
Here we go.
...but I've never heard
anyone that's done it.
But is it in the realm
of possible?
Um, probably
a good Mythbusters.
Humans fart up to
about a half a gallon a day.
That's about...
Some a whole lot more.
( farting )
A human being farts
14 times a day.
Female interviewer:
On average.
14 times a day?
Do you know the volume?
Emilia Gortan:
14 times a day?
They don't have--
I don't think so.
How many cc's
of toxic gas does that...?
Dr. Wycoff:
And the mile-per-hour
one is news to me.
Ah, that very
well may be true.
I'm not sure
how you measure that.
The 14-- I've heard anywhere
from an eight to 20
as being the normal range
for most people.
Oftentimes, you know,
flatulence is passed
when you're sleeping
or in a way
that you don't even notice
you're passing it but, uh,
14 is probably right
and seven miles-per-hour,
it sounds good to me.
Female interviewer:
Right, yeah,
- I don't know either.
- I don't know how you measure.
- Right.
- Maybe they have a meter.
A flat-o-meter
or something.
Or a slow-motion camera.
I don't know.
maybe that's it.
There's a whole study
of flatalogy.
So, uh, maybe
they've studied it.
Well, that was
laid on me.
You know,
the people said,
"Well, can we call
you a 'fartologist?'"
And I said,
"Well, sure."
And, you know--
and it-- it--
it helps sell books,
I suppose.
Male interviewer:
So, what is the definition
of a "fartologist," I guess.
Well, a "fartologist"
is somebody who has been
studying all the--
the-- the, um--
phenomena of farting.
Female narrator:
When forcing a poop...
- ( fart noise )
- ...sometimes a fart
will take place
in a rapid
machine-gun fashion.
( farting )
Possibly as a result
of drinking too much
- or of feeling sick.
- ( fart sound )
When this happens,
keep calm
and wait until
the bathroom is cleared
before planning
your exit.
I don't care anymore.
I used to keep it in or I--
I used to go to the bathroom...
In our family
there was a rating system.
You know,
there were--
there were five of us
including the dog,
and Dad was top,
our daughter
was number two stinky,
then was my son,
then was the dog,
then was me,
because I
made the system.
The sound-- you know,
the fart sound,
I believe,
it's just from the--
the anal opening--
the anal sphincter
skin vibrating
as the gas is expelled
through normal peristalsis,
so your colon
can contract,
and as it contracts,
it pushes things through
including gas.
And it can push it
through at apparently
seven miles-per-hour.
So, um, the passage
of the gas through
the anal opening,
the anal verge
produces a sound.
Most British men
my age now should
have a beer belly
that I can--
it's that big--
I can rest, you know,
I can rest a tray
of chips and gravy on it
and eat from, you know,
but I haven't.
You know, I keep--
I keep farting fit.
( farts )
I don't know.
I guess everything
that we can--
that we can explore
or that we can
be more honest about
just breaks down
more barriers.
It just, you know,
like you said,
eliminate the shame,
eliminate the judgment.
I mean, if we
can all just agree
that it's normal,
then there's not
any reason to have anything
other than laughter,
( vocalizing )
- I think I farted
- On your cat
- I think I farted
- On my cat
- I think I farted
- On a photo of Mitt Romney
I think
I fa a-a-arted
Aw crap!
I just -- my pants.
Final summation:
Farting is always fun.
Farting with others
is more fun.
And making it like
someone else farted,
well, that's just money.
It was my pleasure.
All right,
now I'm gonna go fart.
Now you can
let it all out.
( farting )
Come on,
( man shouts )
Let's have a farty
( farting )
I mean, you're
misinterpreting what I do.
You know, you think
I've got a gas problem.
And what I've got
is a control of my gas.
Male interviewer:
What do you guys think about
us doing a documentary
about farting?
I think it's fabulous.
I can't wait to watch it.
I can't wait to buy it
and own it.
Are you gonna
have to buy it?
Are we gonna
have to buy it?
( laughing )
Female interviewer #2:
We'll give you guys
copies, yeah.
( all laughing )
( farting )
I'm gonna let it go.
Hey, you're not...?
I don't know
if I wanna touch you.
( all laughing )
May the fart
be with you
May the fart
be with you
We're looking
for the reaction.
Yeah, I have,
but it's a manly thing to do.
if it's a spanker.
( laughing )
( farting )
May the fart
be with you.