Fast Getaway II (1991) Movie Script
1
[Horn honks]
Timing's everything.
Morning.
I found this apron
in the drawer.
It's my pop's.
He aspired
to barbecuing greatness.
Did you cook?
Cook?
I don't cook, Nelson,
at least not that way.
You're going to need
your strength, baby.
Uh, for...
Oh, look, I got
to get to work.
At 10:00?
Yeah. It's
banker's hours.
You can spare me
five minutes.
You won't regret it.
I take longer
than five minutes.
But I don't.
Man.
Aah!
Everybody stop
what you're doing
and freeze.
Folks,
this is a stickup.
Everybody on the ground
right now.
Look, people,
just because I have
this devilish charm
doesn't mean I won't
blow her brains out.
Everybody down right now.
Aah!
Better.
Come with me, princess.
You're my helper.
Let's go. Back. Back.
Fill this up.
Go! Get over!
Get up and over.
Hurry up.
Fill it up.
Yeah!
Hey!
don't shoot.
Move, you're dead meat.
You! You don't move,
and you're dead meat.
Fill it up faster.
Come on!
Go ahead.
Make my decade.
Bang!
Come here, pops.
Come here.
You, too.
Press the alarm button.
Press the button
right now.
Pay attention,
folks.
It doesn't matter
because when the cops
get here, I'll be gone.
Get over the counter
right now.
You get back.
Get back.
Back up also.
See ya.
Wouldn't want
to be ya. Ha ha!
Come on. Let's go.
Move it.
Aah!
How are you?
Sorry, ma'am.
Where you going, huh?
Ladies and gentlemen,
I am taking this lady
hostage.
I don't want anybody to move
for the next five minutes.
Is that understood?
Anybody know
tchaikovsky?
I am in a tchaikovsky
mood today.
I want to hear
the 1812 overture.
I said I want to hear
the 1812 overture
or she falls.
[Singing 1812 overture]
Louder!
[Singing louder]
On key!
Come on.
Aah!
Get in the car.
Get in the car now!
Get in the car!
Did you have to push me
against that guy?
He smelled like a dead fish or
something equally disgusting.
[Sniffing]
Oh, I'm sorry.
I guess it was
your cologne.
Good morning
to you, too,
patrice.
Yeah, right. Damn!
What?
The teller put
a dye bundle in.
We got to get it out
before it goes off.
Oh, great.
"Go ahead.
"Push the alarm button.
I'll be gone
before the cops
get here."
Guess you didn't figure
on a cop being
in the area.
Nelson, you're getting
arrogant and careless.
Patrice, did you want
to help me or bitch?
Let me rephrase that.
Stop bitching
and help me.
O.K.
I can't find it.
Heading west.
Requesting backup.
I got it.
Aah!
Timing
is everything.
Let's see what
the boys in blue
are doing
back at dispatch.
Roger. 26 in pursuit.
Yes!
I'm in
the police computer.
Right on water...
And a quick left
on Charleston.
All units, suspect heading
east on west grant.
Backup units
are on the way.
E.T.A.,
two to three minutes.
Hey!
Aah!
Aah!
They're cutting off everything
to Lexington.
Go to option three.
Miss finklestein.
Mrs. finklestein.
Mrs. finklestein.
Ahh, good old
Mrs. finklestein.
She's like
clockwork.
She gets her blue roots
tinted even bluer.
Patrice,
timing is everything.
[Sirens]
Uh-oh. They're going
to try to push us
and box us in.
They're putting a roadblock
up on fremont now.
Great! Yes!
Whoo!
Ha ha ha!
[Sirens approach]
[Honk honk]
Ha ha ha!
Come on!
Whoo!
Position!
They're never going
to take me alive.
I'm going to
take them all out.
Yeah.
I'll always love you,
patrice, always.
And we'll always have...
What city are we in?
Never mind.
I'll see you
in hell, doll.
No way I'm going back
to the big house.
You want me?
You come and get me.
Filthy pigs.
Come on,
come and get me.
Come on.
Who's first?
Who's gonna
be first? You?
How about you, huh?
How about you?
No, no, maybe you.
Come on.
Come get some.
Ow!
All right, everyone,
you can stand down.
The exercise is over,
and we'll debrief
at the bank in 30 minutes.
She used to be
so much fun.
She hurt my nose.
Patrice, my briefcase.
Would you hurry up,
please?
We're late
as it is
because you
insisted on playing
Hollywood gangster.
Fine.
What?
Ugh!
What up?
What'd you call me,
butthead?
I didn't call you
butthead,
but if the cheek fits...
Real cute.
So...How is your
scumbag father, huh?
He's excellent,
thank you.
I'm sure he'll be thrilled
you asked after him.
Hey!
You know, rankin,
you better let me go,
or people will think
we're in love.
Rankin.
Aren't you wide
from your territory?
Who's going to arrest
homeless children in L.A.
With you in Tucson?
I heard about your
escapade this morning.
And you
wanted to play, too?
I'm sorry. It's
against the rules.
We don't allow
mentally challenged
FBI agents
to point loaded weapons,
even in fun.
Excuse me.
don't you want
to hit me, Nelson?
An officer
of the law?
No. I'd have
to disinfect
my hands afterwards.
It's a waste
of my time.
Go ahead. Show me
what a man you are.
Oh, rankin, let me
give you a tip here.
Really try brushing
your teeth just for once.
Ugh!
Rankin, I hope I didn't
see you assault
a valued associate of
bankers security insurance.
Did he?
No.
Spontaneous bleeding
runs in my family.
I want this fully
understood by you.
Nelson's company
evaluates our clientele's
security profile.
While he works with us,
he's under
our corporate blanket.
You mess with him,
you're messing with us.
In other words, me.
Oh?
I'm so frightened,
mira.
My butt's
so puckered,
I won't
be able to take
a crap today.
What are you doing here?
It's agency business,
mira,
which means it's
none of your business.
You got that?
Gentlemen...
As we've demonstrated,
your bank is,
uh, a complete,
uh, security disaster.
Anybody can walk in here
like we did today
and take you out
for at least $10,000
or $15,000 easily.
Your vault
could've been mine.
So, something
to think about.
Mira.
Let's talk about
what we at bankers
security insurance
would like
you to do
to the premises
to bring them up
to standards
based on Nelson and
patrice's analysis.
Hey.
What?
Check it out.
Hey, she's got
a flat.
Damn.
Whoa, look
at those legs.
Hello.
Yeah, buddy.
Hi. How you doing?
No!
No!
No. No.
Let her use the phone.
Come on. Think
with your dick
like every other guy
in the world.
You can help her.
No.
No. We can't.
I can't open the door.
Help her out.
Uh, we can't
let you in,
but we'd be glad
to make a phone call
for you if--
hyah!
Hyah!
Hyah!
Hyah!
Shoes.
Uh!
Creep.
And what are you
doing here?
It's the end
of the month.
We always
do the books.
O.K.
Want some pancakes?
Starch, cholesterol,
and fat. No, thanks.
Nelson.
Nelson, we've
been together
in this business
for a year now.
13 months.
Well, we're really
different people.
I'm studious.
A bookworm.
And frugal.
Cheap.
And thoughtful.
Boring.
Well, I like boring.
Patrice,
you know I do.
I thought
getting my degree
in law enforcement
and teaming up
with a real
former bank robber
was going to be...
Sexy.
Interesting.
No, no, no. Sexy.
The point is--
well, the point is
I do like working
with you--
wait, wait.
But every time I think
everything's going
to work out...
[Imitating drum roll]
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Um...
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Oh, Nelson, you putz.
[Telephone rings]
Patrice.
[Ring]
[Ring]
Yeah, mira,
what's wrong?
What?
You're kidding,
right?
Oh, man.
Well, any leads?
Oh, man.
We got problems.
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah.
Mira, relax.
Yeah, yeah, fine.
I'll see you
in 25 minutes.
Of course.
All right. Bye.
[Knock on door]
Listen,
mira wants us
to come down to the bank
we did yesterday.
Go yourself.
What?
I'm quitting.
I don't want money
from my side
of the business.
I just want
my equipment.
Why?
Let me count
the reasons.
You're a child.
You're
irresponsible.
You're careless,
and I don't
like you.
What?
Look, I just don't
want this anymore.
We were just
getting things started.
We were just
getting things going.
Going where,
to bigger and better
fake bank robberies?
Pinch me.
I'm dreaming, Nelson.
That's why I did so well
in school--
to play cops
and robbers with you? No.
What are you so angry
about?
I'm not angry.
I'm not angry.
I'm just quitting.
That's all.
O.K.?
Fine.
Who's stopping you?
Fine.
Fine.
I was in here first.
I was, uh,
fixing my hair.
Yeah.
[Door opens]
[Door slams]
Hyah!
Aah!
Hyah!
Ugh!
Hyah!
Hyah!
Hyah!
Hyah!
Ha!
[Telephone rings]
Hello?
Yeah. He just
got here.
I'm going to
have him wait
until I can
count it all.
When?
Isn't that
kind of soon?
All right. All right.
Yeah, I know.
It has to be done.
I'll get back to you
when we're in position.
Speaking
of positions...
Special agent rankin
on the job.
You're a little late.
Nelson's on his way
to help bail you out.
This is an official
agency investigation.
I don't want anyone here
except law enforcement.
You got that?
I represent the interest
of the insurance company.
We want action.
There's no law
that says we can't hire
outside investigators.
Excuse me.
You know, mira,
I know your story.
You made a few busts
on some small-time
counterfeiting
rings,
and then you quit
the agency
and the people
who trained you.
Then you
hired yourself out
to private industry
like some
cheap whore.
Then you hire
some punk kid
to help you.
Pardon me. I think
this is important.
[Whistle]
It looks like somebody
threw a party in here.
Where's patrice?
She's, uh, she's
having a bad hair day.
She's coming,
isn't she?
May I say
something, please?
According to our
initial figures,
no money
has been taken.
So what?
Doesn't that seem
a little strange--
the bank is robbed,
and nothing was taken?
Idiot. They're
after something
in the safety
deposit boxes.
Just give me
that inventory list
I asked you for
and quit wasting
everybody's time
playing detective.
Just another amateur.
I got a proposition
for you.
It's right up
your alley.
How would you
and patrice
like to do some
serious investigating
work for us?
You've got
to get me a lead
before the company
goes bankrupt
paying off these
inflated safe deposit
box claims.
Hey, I'm staking a lot
on you and patrice.
I know. I know.
You can't let me down.
I won't.
Come on.
I'll buy you lunch
and explain it.
You know why I love
tires so much, Tony?
Nope.
Do you want to know?
No, not a bit.
Tires are circles,
the most perfect
geometric shape
in the universe.
Everything possible
is represented
in a circle.
It's a beginning
and an end.
Tony, I have come
to see second chances
are possible
'cause we're all
in the same path.
Redemption is simply
another path
leading us back
to a new beginning.
Why couldn't you
just get Jesus
like every other con?
My boy!
Hey, what are you
doing here?
You weren't
supposed to be here
till next week.
I was in
the neighborhood, pop.
What's that?
New job.
Tony.
Hey.
What? What?
What? What?
What? What?
All right, patrice
is bailing on me.
She finally got tired
of you acting
like some kid
with expensive toys.
Thanks for all
your support, pop. Great.
Hey, I love you,
but I know you.
You know me.
Come on. Sit back down.
You want to talk about it?
No, pop. I don't
want to talk
about her now.
All right. Fine.
Wait a minute.
It's from those robberies
on the news.
These are tire tracks
from the scene?
That's right.
Bennington xgc-79s.
You can tell the tire
by looking
at the photos?
Yeah.
Come on, pop,
give me more.
Give me more
about the tracks.
Nothing. I just thought
it was interesting.
Oh, wait.
No cash was taken?
Nope.
No cash whatsoever.
Mira thinks
it's some sort of
big insurance scam.
Still, leave that money
just sitting there?
So you would
take it, huh?
No, I'm
making a point.
I myself
am reformed.
That stuff
don't tempt me
no more.
All I want to do
is my time,
get out,
and open
my tire store.
Sam Potter's on
a straight path,
or rather,
a circular one.
Ooh-whee,
I know this ass.
What?
Lily.
Lily?
Lily?
Your Lily?
His Lily?
Our Lily?
I mean, Lily-Lily?
Are you sure
about this, pop?
Trust me.
It's her.
Ain't that right,
Tony?
I don't want to
talk about it.
See?
Tell me.
This is Lily?
She's behind
these heists?
Lily?
Wait a minute. Lily's
got a great--hmm--
yeah.
But brains--no.
She must be hooked up
with somebody else.
Pop, this is an
unbelievable lead.
I can take
this to mira.
I solved the case.
Slow down, Sherlock.
We didn't solve
nothing yet.
We can't prove
that's Lily's ass.
O.K., what else?
You want to do this
with me?
Yeah, pop.
Just like old times.
You and me.
All right,
first things first.
We got to plan our work.
And work our plan.
All right. There's
something that bugs me
about this.
What are you
doing here?
I knocked.
Bullshit.
Yeah. I know.
Nice place, patrice.
Yeah. Real nice.
You and Nelson
have it good.
I don't live here.
We just have
our offices here.
Yeah. Actually,
actually, I knew that.
You two have a funny
kind of business,
don't you think?
What exactly is it
that you want, agent rankin?
Well, I'll tell you
exactly, patrice.
I want you to know
that as far as
I'm concerned,
Nelson Potter's
nothing more than
a common criminal.
Well, the court
said otherwise.
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I have to make
a phone call to your office
to let them know
you're a slimy little creep.
Nelson's old man cut
a deal with the d.A.
To get his son
off the hook.
The deal stunk then,
and it stinks now.
So what? It's old news.
Now let me pass.
Let you pass, patrice?
Well, why don't you
use the magic word?
All right.
Let me pass, asshole.
Aah!
don't.
All right.
Here's a real cute gag
for you, patrice.
Tell me what you think.
Nelson uses
your security company
to pass along
the information he needs
to take down these banks
real easy.
That's just stupid.
Who's being stupid here?
Isn't it odd
that of the last
five banks robbed,
you and Nelson
did security work
on three of them?
Yeah. Nelson's
dirty, patrice.
I want him,
and one way
or the other,
I'm going to get him.
You got that?
Now, in case you happen
to be involved,
you better come to me
and cut a deal
'cause you're too young
to go to prison.
And you will go down
as an accessory.
I promise.
It is a nice place.
What's this?
I'll tell you
something, patrice.
You should've thought
twice about quitting
before you
actually quit.
I'm going to have
more security work
than I can
possibly handle
once I solve this.
Rankin was here.
For what?
Pointers?
No. He thinks
we're involved.
Well, he thinks
you're involved
with the robberies.
The guy also thinks
polka music rocks.
So screw him.
No. You don't understand.
This could be serious.
Patrice, look,
nothing is serious
until it is.
Plus I have everything
under control, o.K.?
Yeah, I can see that.
For your information,
darling,
I just dropped off
a lead to mira
that will break this
whole case wide open.
The guy was speechless
because I came up with
something so fast.
You mean your father did.
He just called before
you came over, Sherlock.
Look, what is
your problem?
What's this attitude
all of a sudden?
It's not all of a sudden.
For the last year
I've been in business
with a man
who thinks
a wet t-shirt contest
is classical entertainment.
[Telephone rings]
[Ring]
Potter-Taylor security.
Who?
The who--
loni the body.
It's her professional
title, o.K.?
Get a clue, Nelson.
Professional is doctor.
Profession is attorney
or schoolteacher.
Hot cream wrestler
is not a profession.
And does she have to call
on our business phone?
Our bu--
no, no, no.
This is my
business phone.
So, look, the next time
you answer
my business phone,
you say,
"Potter security,
may I help you?"
And that's all.
O.K.?
There won't be
a next time.
Like I said,
who's stopping you?
Hello?
Hey.
Long time no nookie.
You liked that.
You thought
that was funny?
Yeah, well, people
with sense of humors
do find me
funny sometimes.
[Door closes]
Hold on.
Hi.
I get these
terrible headaches
whenever I think of money.
I really do need
a good bank
so I don't have to
think anymore.
Well, I think
you've chosen
the right bank.
Do you have some water?
Absolutely.
Thank you.
To a long relationship.
Skoal.
[Gagging]
[Choking]
He's dying!
I'm a doctor.
I'll, uh, get a gurney.
Ohh.
He's shocking.
Pulse and respiration
are irregular.
Get me some
adrenaline, stat.
Help me!
My heart, it feels funny.
Get him loaded.
I'll take care of her.
I'm feeling better.
You should still
go to the hospital.
No! I'm afraid
of ambulances!
I'll take you
in my Jaguar.
We'll follow the ambulance.
Well, what do you know?
I don't feel faint
anymore.
I guess I just needed
some fresh air.
Thank you, darling!
B-but...
I make house calls!
[Siren]
[Toy whirs]
Wh-what was that?
What was what?
What was that noise
I just heard?
I couldn't hear anything
above your belching.
Yeah, well,
Mexican food.
Hey, no. No, no.
I don't need help.
I can do this myself.
Oh, yeah.
It's open, Nelson.
You didn't lock it
when you left tonight.
Look at me. See,
I'm a security agent,
so I always
lock my door.
Well, you didn't tonight.
[Cocks gun]
I'll prove it
to you.
[Rattling doorknob]
See? It's locked.
It's completely
and utterly locked.
I'm going to take your car
and go to my home.
Good night.
O.K., go.
All right.
Good night.
Good night.
Uhh!
I'm sorry, lover.
You o.K.?
You kicked me
in my rib, too.
And why is your face
so fuzzy, pookie?
Ah!
Hey, you're not pookie.
Hey!
All right,
stay right there.
Both of you,
stay right there.
All right. I got
this shit cold. Come on.
You give up?
My hat.
Where is it?
Hmm?
Jeez.
Give me that.
[Rooster crows]
[Crowing]
[Arf arf]
[Ringing]
Hello?
Patrice, listen,
don't hang up.
Somebody killed
Mr. bingo.
[Click]
[Dial tone]
Hello?
Hello?
Well, well, well.
Another one
and no leads, huh?
Well, well, well.
I wonder what
they call this.
I think...
It's a lead.
How the hell
did you spot that
in all this trash?
I was trained to do that kind
of stuff, mira, remember?
"N.P."
I wonder who that
could stand for.
Mcclosky, get over here.
I want this checked
for prints right away.
N.P.
I guess we'll both be
on pins and needles
until we find out
who that is, huh?
O.K., so you were out
with loni the body,
yet another bimbo
in a long line of bimbos.
Her name's Bambi,
and she's not a bimbo.
You were drunk,
you came home, you fell.
Someone stepped on you,
you hit them,
they chased you,
then what?
Then I went
into my closet...
And you peed yourself?
What?
No, look,
I fell asleep
in the sprinklers.
Why?
Why isn't the right
question to ask now.
Then what
should I ask you?
What?
As in, "what"
is the question
I should ask
or "what,"
you didn't hear me?
Yes.
What?
Yes. What.
You're not getting me
in the middle of this
abbott and costello
routine.
Who are you calling?
I'm calling the police.
Forget it. No way.
Nothing was taken.
You had a prowler.
It should really be reported.
I'm in
the security business.
I'm not telling some cop
I left my door open,
someone came in
and murdered
my stuffed animal.
Sounds
pretty dumb to me.
Sweetie...
I want to talk to you
about something.
I'm going to wash up first,
take some aspirin.
Stick around.
I'm sorry.
Please stick around.
All right.
O.K.?
What are you looking at?
Did you do something
different with your hair
or something?
Oh, like you'd notice.
No, I didn't.
What's going on?
Nothing. I just thought
maybe the security camera
caught a shot
of the intruder.
That's a good idea.
Yeah, I know, Nelson.
That's what I do best.
I'm a security expert,
remember?
What's this?
I told you
rankin was here.
Yeah, but, patrice,
you never told me
that this--
[doorbell rings]
Go get the door,
would you?
Son of a bitch.
Nelson, this is serious.
don't do anything funny.
Oh, he's not going
to do anything.
Are you, Nelson?
Take her out
to the car.
I'll be out
in a minute.
Well, well.
What do we
have here?
Fragile things,
aren't they?
[Tosses tape to ground]
Found a pocketknife
at the scene
of our last little
bank robbery.
A pocketknife
with a nice, clear
fingerprint on it.
Can you guess whose
fingerprint it was?
Let me
give you a hint.
You're under arrest
for suspicion
of bank robbery.
Oh...
Unless you'd like
to resist.
You would
like to resist,
wouldn't you?
Yeah.
You want to resist,
Nelson.
Potter!
Kiss your sorry ass goodbye.
Whoo!
Yee-ha!
You scumbag.
[Dog barking]
Nice dog.
Nice dog!
Heel. Heel. Heel.
Heel. Hey!
Aah!
Oh...
Ooh!
[Siren]
[Siren approaching]
That's for trying
to kill me.
This is for patrice.
What are you buttheads
laughing at?
We got a suspect
out there. Get going!
Give me my pants!
Well, move it!
They're all scumbags.
And yet another
daring robbery
within a 50-mile radius
of Tucson
brings the total to four
that appear to be connected
to a mysterious gang,
who use both brains
and stealth
to take down even
the most secure vaults.
The police have told
our reporters
that they're not sure
of the total losses
because the owners
of the safe-deposit boxes
are still gathering
insurance information.
Hey! I can't believe
they're out of floss
at the prison store.
What am I supposed to do
after dinner?
We're having
corn on the cob.
Look at this.
What's that
look like?
It's a backgammon game.
The picture.
That's a bank robbery,
except that all the cash
is still on the shelves.
Exactly.
I got to get in touch
with Nelson.
He might be here
any time.
Nelson Potter is wanted
at this hour
for questioning
by the FBI.
Agent rankin,
special investigator
in charge of
the robbery task force,
has confirmed that Potter
is considered
armed and dangerous
and, if spotted,
should not be engaged
in any manner.
Tina naughton,
k.O.L.D. News center 13.
Armed and dangerous,
my butt.
Something stinks,
and my son stepped
right in it.
Look, I got to
find him, Tony.
The only way
I can do that is
with your help.
[Sam]
What do you give it?
[Tony]
Thumbs down.
Yeah. Yeah,
thumbs down.
Thumbs down.
Down, down.
I thought
the dramatic subtext
in tonight's movie
was flawed.
Absolutely. Breasts
have always been
a symbol of
the classic male dilemma--
do I eat or have sex?
The director didn't
convey that properly
at all.
Sergeant Peterson
is wanted in infirmary.
Sergeant Peterson,
infirmary, please.
I'll be back.
What do you think
this is, a hotel?
Do like I tell you.
Nobody will miss me.
They will if you're not
back by morning roll call...
In, uh, uh--uh--
nine.
Nine hours from now.
I'll be here.
Uhh! Uh!
[Hinges squeak]
[Whistling]
You sure about this,
Sam?
You've only got
five months.
You could get
another five years
in a real prison.
Nelson needs me.
Where's the gun, Nelson?
It's in the bedroom.
[Thump]
Freeze!
I know you can't tell
in the dark,
but this is a full-spray
12-gauge pump
and I know how to use it.
I said freeze!
No ms!
No ms.
Wait a minute.
You're Nelson's father,
aren't you?
You just turned me
into his mother.
Patrice.
Nelson always did have
good taste in partners.
What are you doing
out of prison?
Who, me?
You broke out, didn't you?
Do you realize
how stupid that was?
You only had
five months to go.
It's a federal offense.
Do you realize that?
Nelson's wonderful
life example.
No wonder he is
like he is.
She looks like a model,
kicks butt like Lily,
and sounds like
Nelson's mom.
Will you marry me?
Can also see where
he got his charm.
Why, thank you.
Um, where is Nelson?
I don't know.
What are you doing here?
Nelson had a prowler
the other night.
I wanted to prove
the knife was stolen.
Pardon me? What knife?
It's a long story, o.K.?
My Jeep is out front.
Let's get out of here.
Yeah. Sure.
[Starts engine]
Mmm.
I sure did miss
this grease.
Want a bite?
No, thanks.
Go ahead.
No, no, no, really.
Starch, cholesterol,
and fat.
Put hair on your chest.
With everything
against him,
it's no wonder
Nelson ran.
The question is,
how do we find him?
[Telephone rings]
Hello?
Patrice.
Patrice, it's me.
It's Nelson.
I'm a few doors down
from this place.
It's called grime-busters
laundromat. I'm on 10th.
Listen, sweetie, I'm giving
myself up, all right?
I need someone
to go with me, though.
I don't need rankin putting
warning shots in my head.
He's giving himself up.
Wherever you are,
you stay there.
Pop? What are you doing
out of jail?
I'll tell you later.
Where's Potter?
Sam's in the bathroom.
Yeah, right.
He's got diarrhea
from dinner.
Good idea.
Check on him later.
Ahh.
Hee hee hee hee!
The daughter
I always wanted.
Shh, pop.
I'm incognito.
You're incog-something.
Yeah, yeah.
What are you
doing here?
As long as I'm back
before roll call,
everything will be fine.
Can we go now?
We'll drop your father
off at prison.
Maybe they have
a night depository.
It's a joke,
wasn't it?
You told me she had
no sense of humor.
She doesn't.
That was a joke.
Are you two done?
I want to ask Nelson
something
before I forget again.
Remember when we made up
those gags?
Did you ever tell Lily about
that treasury deal gag?
No.
No, but that's it.
That's it, pop.
That's got to be it.
What?
What? Please.
Banks turn in old cash,
damaged cash
to the treasury.
The treasury replaces it
with brand-new currency.
If you were
a counterfeiter
and wanted
your phony money
to get to
the biggest number
of people
without being
checked...
Break into a bank,
substitute the funny money.
And nobody checks
the treasury's currency.
It's from the treasury.
It's got to be good.
That's pretty clever.
Thank you.
Thank you.
[Door opens]
Well, well, well.
Sam,
what a pleasant
surprise.
And what do we
have here?
Looks like a scumbag
reunion to me.
And just where
do you think
you're going?
Huh, Sam?
Want to get downwind
of you.
Good one, pop.
Shut up, butthead.
No. Nelson.
Stay here
and face this.
Pop, maybe we
should try to find
the next bank.
Time's running out.
This gag's only got
a short life span.
I don't know then.
Maybe I should
give up
and you should go
back to prison.
Maybe that's
the best thing.
What? Give up?
Will you quit thinking like
some middle-class doofus?
Who's going to
believe us about this
counterfeit thing?
The gang's
going to disappear.
You'll be left
holding the bag.
Besides, we're Potters.
We don't quit.
Fast getaways--
that's our specialty.
Yeah, I know, pop.
You know, if you
think about it,
all we really need
is the delivery list
from the treasury.
That'd do it.
What are you doing?
You know, pop...
Pop, patrice's computer
is at the house, right?
It's hooked right into
the police department's
database. Huh?
Now, that's my boy.
"Give up."
Ought to give you
a noogie.
Noogie, noogie.
Pop, I'm driving here!
Just like old times.
Yeah, it is.
This is great, pop.
This is what it
used to be like
when we used to go
camping, remember?
We never went camping,
Nelson.
We were bank robbers.
Oh, yeah.
This is what it
would have been like
if we would have
went camping.
Did you miss that stuff?
You know, boy scouts,
fishing trips,
normal stuff?
No. No, I didn't.
I turned out o.K.,
didn't I, pop?
Yeah. Yeah, you did.
Thanks.
What did you do?
Mexican food.
It does me wrong.
That's why we never
went camping.
Yeah.
Phew.
Something died.
Sorry, pop.
Ooh!
Surprising, they
didn't charge you
with anything.
They still might,
according to rankin.
Nelson say anything?
Something about
counterfeiters
replacing cash in banks.
What?
Replacing what cash?
I don't know.
It just sounded right
at the time.
Now it just sounds dumb.
Let's go get
in my car.
Hmm.
Where'd you get these?
Patrice has got
a survival kit
in the Jeep.
If the world
comes to an end
right now,
right here,
we're covered.
Smart girl.
Yeah, yeah.
Look,
what if it's not
this bank?
Nelson...
Both of us go to jail
for a long time.
Oh...
Hello, Lily.
How you been?
Ha ha!
Down. Down. Down.
She's coming.
[Telephone rings]
[Ring]
Hello?
Nelson.
Are you o.K.?
Yeah. They didn't
charge me with anything.
Where are you?
Me and pop
got them surrounded.
You'll see us on
the 11:00 news.
Nelson, please,
no more cops and robbers.
Tell me where you are
so mira and I
can come and get you.
God, I hate it
when he does that.
It was
a wrong number.
That's a good thing
you did, son,
keeping her out of it.
Where is he?
He's got them surrounded.
Does your car
have a lo-Jack?
Of course.
I'm a security expert.
I got a friend on
the Tucson police
department.
Hi. It's mira.
I need a favor.
No questions, o.K.?
A lo-Jack trace.
Pop, when do we call
the cops?
How about never?
Oh, this is
going to hurt.
Sam.
Knock it off, Lily.
You want some, too,
Nelson?
You do, and I'll shove
those fake tits
right up into your throat.
Fake?
Fake, my ass.
Yeah.
Maybe that, too.
Ladies, ladies,
peace. Be friends.
Is little Nelson
going to protect
his girlfriend
like he did with
the FBI agent?
You did what?
They're ready.
Aah!
All right!
Let's go!
Let's go!
Let's go!
Come on!
Come on.
Come on, move!
Come on.
Come on.
Get on the floor.
Get on the floor.
Listen up.
The generator's
going to replace
the city's power,
but the alarms
are going to be cut
from the inside.
Then mira will show up
and make sure nobody
from the cops or
the bank comes inside.
That's pretty clever.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Yeah.
We thought
about it.
So much brains
and talent...
And so little common sense.
Ha ha ha ha.
Better watch her, buddy.
She's got a way
of coming back at you...
Like
a bad tuna sandwich.
I thought tuna fish
was your favorite.
[Lily]
Just sit back and relax.
We have a few hours.
Pop, pop,
you all right?
Yeah.
[Bruno]
Tie her up.
Tell everybody
five minutes.
Perfect.
How you doing?
Frank mira,
bankers security insurance.
Everything's under control.
Thanks.
[Softly counting]
My butt fell asleep.
Yeah, mine, too.
Shh!
Hey, eat me, Bruno.
All right, Bruno,
I'm shushing.
I'm shushing.
How can you laugh
at a time like this?
I do have
a sense of humor.
I know.
I know.
I'm sorry I didn't
tell you earlier
how much I liked it.
I hope
it's not too late
or anything, but...
I don't want you
to leave the company.
It takes imminent death
for you to appreciate
a person.
You know something,
Nelson?
You know what
your main problem--
your problem is that...
Well, you haven't done that
nearly enough.
Well, I never thought
I had a chance with you.
Are you serious?
Shh!
Oh, eat us, Bruno.
Let 'em make
as much noise
as they want.
We're all clear!
Um...
Could we
stand up maybe?
Slowly...
Very slowly.
You know, Lily,
I think my dad has
a, uh, concussion.
He won't feel a thing
after that nitro blows up.
Mira, that was not
in the original plan.
A slight modification.
You all die here,
and it looks like
you messed up
with the acetylene tanks,
a sad ending to a brilliant
bank-robbing team.
Put that cash in my car.
Hurry. Let's go.
Damiano, you're going
to blow us all up!
Move them
into the vault.
Easy.
On the shelf.
Over there.
Come on.
Let's go.
Let's go.
We got two minutes.
Let's move it.
Come on.
Bruno, two minutes.
Let's go. Out.
Come on.
[Beeping]
Watch it!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Lily!
[Alarm ringing]
Lily!
It's not my fault!
I shut down the alarm!
That goddamn fire alarm!
Go! Go!
Get out! Get out!
Go!
Pop? Pop?
Aah!
Shut up!
don't be funny.
Come on.
Let's go.
Pop.
Come on. Pop. Pop.
Hmm?
Hi, Nelson.
Come on.
What's up?
Untie me.
Oh, sure.
Yeah.
How come
everything looks like
a bad porno movie?
Snap out of it.
Let's go.
Lily!
Let's get out of here.
Let's go.
I'll drive.
You sure?
Is a pig's ass pork?
All right?
Yeah.
Pop?
Yeah?
I'm still
a little fuzzy.
Maybe you
should drive.
I'll disconnect it.
Good idea.
You all right?
Yeah.
Easy, pop. Easy.
You in?
Yeah.
Pull it off, pop!
Thanks for your concern,
Nelson!
Take it easy,
will you?
Aah!
Yeah.
I smell scumbag!
It's Potter roundup time.
Keep this thing straight.
Move it!
[Tires squeal]
Aah!
Let me out of here!
Follow the trailer!
Shut her up!
Let me out!
Pop, get down!
How you doing, Sam?
Here, rankin!
Put that where
the sun don't shine!
Go ahead!
You greasy-haired fool!
You sorry shit!
Aah!
Thanks, pop!
Oh, lord!
Oh, lord!
Aah! Oh, lord!
Say your prayers,
Potter!
Patrice!
What?
Yes!
Patrice!
Nelson!
No!
Stay back!
Over there. Closer!
Move it!
Ha ha ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha ha!
Halt!
Aw...
Shit!
Get this thing moving!
Hyah!
Patrice!
Aah!
Aah!
Let go of me!
Lily! Lily!
It's payday.
Nelson...
Nelson,
are you o.K.?
Any serious damage?
Uh-uh.
We got to find pop,
get him back to jail.
Pop!
Oh, my god.
Pop!
Pop!
Didn't anybody
ever teach you
personal hygiene?
Pop!
Pop!
Pop, you gotta
go right now.
All right--
I love you, boy.
Take good care of her!
I will.
Go, pop! Go! Go!
Whoo!
Ha ha!
Yee-ha!
[Sirens]
Oh, shit.
He's been in there
all night!
You don't have to
check on him!
Oh. Sorry, Sam.
No problem, eustus.
You o.K. Then?
Mexican food.
Yeah. O.K., well...
You relax,
take your time,
come to breakfast
when you feel like it.
Thank you.
Come on, bash.
Give him some peace,
for crap's sake!
I made a joke.
Get it?
For crap's sake!
Ha ha ha ha.
Timing is everything.
Hee hee hee hee hee.
Tire stores
are expensive to open...
And old habits
are hard to break.
Everything
looks so quiet.
Do you think
he made it o.K.?
I hope so.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Pop made it o.K.
Soon I'm going to need
a new business partner.
You still want me
to leave the business?
I don't want you
to leave the business.
I know you don't
believe in mixing...
Business relationships
with romantic ones.
Wait a minute.
What?
Did I hear Lily right?
Did you go after rankin
for me?
Yes, milady, I did.
Nelson, do you know how
irresponsible that was?
Why did you do something
like that?
"Why" is
the wrong question
to ask me right now.
What?
Exactly.
What do you say
about me and you, huh?
I say, mmm...
I'll think about it.
O.K.
Maybe.
O.K.
If your dad makes it o.K.,
then we'll talk.
Look.
Peace, pop.
Dad's
going to be fine.
Us Potters are famous
for our fast getaways.
Do you know that?
Buckle up.
We're out of here.
[Horn honks]
Timing's everything.
Morning.
I found this apron
in the drawer.
It's my pop's.
He aspired
to barbecuing greatness.
Did you cook?
Cook?
I don't cook, Nelson,
at least not that way.
You're going to need
your strength, baby.
Uh, for...
Oh, look, I got
to get to work.
At 10:00?
Yeah. It's
banker's hours.
You can spare me
five minutes.
You won't regret it.
I take longer
than five minutes.
But I don't.
Man.
Aah!
Everybody stop
what you're doing
and freeze.
Folks,
this is a stickup.
Everybody on the ground
right now.
Look, people,
just because I have
this devilish charm
doesn't mean I won't
blow her brains out.
Everybody down right now.
Aah!
Better.
Come with me, princess.
You're my helper.
Let's go. Back. Back.
Fill this up.
Go! Get over!
Get up and over.
Hurry up.
Fill it up.
Yeah!
Hey!
don't shoot.
Move, you're dead meat.
You! You don't move,
and you're dead meat.
Fill it up faster.
Come on!
Go ahead.
Make my decade.
Bang!
Come here, pops.
Come here.
You, too.
Press the alarm button.
Press the button
right now.
Pay attention,
folks.
It doesn't matter
because when the cops
get here, I'll be gone.
Get over the counter
right now.
You get back.
Get back.
Back up also.
See ya.
Wouldn't want
to be ya. Ha ha!
Come on. Let's go.
Move it.
Aah!
How are you?
Sorry, ma'am.
Where you going, huh?
Ladies and gentlemen,
I am taking this lady
hostage.
I don't want anybody to move
for the next five minutes.
Is that understood?
Anybody know
tchaikovsky?
I am in a tchaikovsky
mood today.
I want to hear
the 1812 overture.
I said I want to hear
the 1812 overture
or she falls.
[Singing 1812 overture]
Louder!
[Singing louder]
On key!
Come on.
Aah!
Get in the car.
Get in the car now!
Get in the car!
Did you have to push me
against that guy?
He smelled like a dead fish or
something equally disgusting.
[Sniffing]
Oh, I'm sorry.
I guess it was
your cologne.
Good morning
to you, too,
patrice.
Yeah, right. Damn!
What?
The teller put
a dye bundle in.
We got to get it out
before it goes off.
Oh, great.
"Go ahead.
"Push the alarm button.
I'll be gone
before the cops
get here."
Guess you didn't figure
on a cop being
in the area.
Nelson, you're getting
arrogant and careless.
Patrice, did you want
to help me or bitch?
Let me rephrase that.
Stop bitching
and help me.
O.K.
I can't find it.
Heading west.
Requesting backup.
I got it.
Aah!
Timing
is everything.
Let's see what
the boys in blue
are doing
back at dispatch.
Roger. 26 in pursuit.
Yes!
I'm in
the police computer.
Right on water...
And a quick left
on Charleston.
All units, suspect heading
east on west grant.
Backup units
are on the way.
E.T.A.,
two to three minutes.
Hey!
Aah!
Aah!
They're cutting off everything
to Lexington.
Go to option three.
Miss finklestein.
Mrs. finklestein.
Mrs. finklestein.
Ahh, good old
Mrs. finklestein.
She's like
clockwork.
She gets her blue roots
tinted even bluer.
Patrice,
timing is everything.
[Sirens]
Uh-oh. They're going
to try to push us
and box us in.
They're putting a roadblock
up on fremont now.
Great! Yes!
Whoo!
Ha ha ha!
[Sirens approach]
[Honk honk]
Ha ha ha!
Come on!
Whoo!
Position!
They're never going
to take me alive.
I'm going to
take them all out.
Yeah.
I'll always love you,
patrice, always.
And we'll always have...
What city are we in?
Never mind.
I'll see you
in hell, doll.
No way I'm going back
to the big house.
You want me?
You come and get me.
Filthy pigs.
Come on,
come and get me.
Come on.
Who's first?
Who's gonna
be first? You?
How about you, huh?
How about you?
No, no, maybe you.
Come on.
Come get some.
Ow!
All right, everyone,
you can stand down.
The exercise is over,
and we'll debrief
at the bank in 30 minutes.
She used to be
so much fun.
She hurt my nose.
Patrice, my briefcase.
Would you hurry up,
please?
We're late
as it is
because you
insisted on playing
Hollywood gangster.
Fine.
What?
Ugh!
What up?
What'd you call me,
butthead?
I didn't call you
butthead,
but if the cheek fits...
Real cute.
So...How is your
scumbag father, huh?
He's excellent,
thank you.
I'm sure he'll be thrilled
you asked after him.
Hey!
You know, rankin,
you better let me go,
or people will think
we're in love.
Rankin.
Aren't you wide
from your territory?
Who's going to arrest
homeless children in L.A.
With you in Tucson?
I heard about your
escapade this morning.
And you
wanted to play, too?
I'm sorry. It's
against the rules.
We don't allow
mentally challenged
FBI agents
to point loaded weapons,
even in fun.
Excuse me.
don't you want
to hit me, Nelson?
An officer
of the law?
No. I'd have
to disinfect
my hands afterwards.
It's a waste
of my time.
Go ahead. Show me
what a man you are.
Oh, rankin, let me
give you a tip here.
Really try brushing
your teeth just for once.
Ugh!
Rankin, I hope I didn't
see you assault
a valued associate of
bankers security insurance.
Did he?
No.
Spontaneous bleeding
runs in my family.
I want this fully
understood by you.
Nelson's company
evaluates our clientele's
security profile.
While he works with us,
he's under
our corporate blanket.
You mess with him,
you're messing with us.
In other words, me.
Oh?
I'm so frightened,
mira.
My butt's
so puckered,
I won't
be able to take
a crap today.
What are you doing here?
It's agency business,
mira,
which means it's
none of your business.
You got that?
Gentlemen...
As we've demonstrated,
your bank is,
uh, a complete,
uh, security disaster.
Anybody can walk in here
like we did today
and take you out
for at least $10,000
or $15,000 easily.
Your vault
could've been mine.
So, something
to think about.
Mira.
Let's talk about
what we at bankers
security insurance
would like
you to do
to the premises
to bring them up
to standards
based on Nelson and
patrice's analysis.
Hey.
What?
Check it out.
Hey, she's got
a flat.
Damn.
Whoa, look
at those legs.
Hello.
Yeah, buddy.
Hi. How you doing?
No!
No!
No. No.
Let her use the phone.
Come on. Think
with your dick
like every other guy
in the world.
You can help her.
No.
No. We can't.
I can't open the door.
Help her out.
Uh, we can't
let you in,
but we'd be glad
to make a phone call
for you if--
hyah!
Hyah!
Hyah!
Hyah!
Shoes.
Uh!
Creep.
And what are you
doing here?
It's the end
of the month.
We always
do the books.
O.K.
Want some pancakes?
Starch, cholesterol,
and fat. No, thanks.
Nelson.
Nelson, we've
been together
in this business
for a year now.
13 months.
Well, we're really
different people.
I'm studious.
A bookworm.
And frugal.
Cheap.
And thoughtful.
Boring.
Well, I like boring.
Patrice,
you know I do.
I thought
getting my degree
in law enforcement
and teaming up
with a real
former bank robber
was going to be...
Sexy.
Interesting.
No, no, no. Sexy.
The point is--
well, the point is
I do like working
with you--
wait, wait.
But every time I think
everything's going
to work out...
[Imitating drum roll]
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Um...
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Oh, Nelson, you putz.
[Telephone rings]
Patrice.
[Ring]
[Ring]
Yeah, mira,
what's wrong?
What?
You're kidding,
right?
Oh, man.
Well, any leads?
Oh, man.
We got problems.
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah.
Mira, relax.
Yeah, yeah, fine.
I'll see you
in 25 minutes.
Of course.
All right. Bye.
[Knock on door]
Listen,
mira wants us
to come down to the bank
we did yesterday.
Go yourself.
What?
I'm quitting.
I don't want money
from my side
of the business.
I just want
my equipment.
Why?
Let me count
the reasons.
You're a child.
You're
irresponsible.
You're careless,
and I don't
like you.
What?
Look, I just don't
want this anymore.
We were just
getting things started.
We were just
getting things going.
Going where,
to bigger and better
fake bank robberies?
Pinch me.
I'm dreaming, Nelson.
That's why I did so well
in school--
to play cops
and robbers with you? No.
What are you so angry
about?
I'm not angry.
I'm not angry.
I'm just quitting.
That's all.
O.K.?
Fine.
Who's stopping you?
Fine.
Fine.
I was in here first.
I was, uh,
fixing my hair.
Yeah.
[Door opens]
[Door slams]
Hyah!
Aah!
Hyah!
Ugh!
Hyah!
Hyah!
Hyah!
Hyah!
Ha!
[Telephone rings]
Hello?
Yeah. He just
got here.
I'm going to
have him wait
until I can
count it all.
When?
Isn't that
kind of soon?
All right. All right.
Yeah, I know.
It has to be done.
I'll get back to you
when we're in position.
Speaking
of positions...
Special agent rankin
on the job.
You're a little late.
Nelson's on his way
to help bail you out.
This is an official
agency investigation.
I don't want anyone here
except law enforcement.
You got that?
I represent the interest
of the insurance company.
We want action.
There's no law
that says we can't hire
outside investigators.
Excuse me.
You know, mira,
I know your story.
You made a few busts
on some small-time
counterfeiting
rings,
and then you quit
the agency
and the people
who trained you.
Then you
hired yourself out
to private industry
like some
cheap whore.
Then you hire
some punk kid
to help you.
Pardon me. I think
this is important.
[Whistle]
It looks like somebody
threw a party in here.
Where's patrice?
She's, uh, she's
having a bad hair day.
She's coming,
isn't she?
May I say
something, please?
According to our
initial figures,
no money
has been taken.
So what?
Doesn't that seem
a little strange--
the bank is robbed,
and nothing was taken?
Idiot. They're
after something
in the safety
deposit boxes.
Just give me
that inventory list
I asked you for
and quit wasting
everybody's time
playing detective.
Just another amateur.
I got a proposition
for you.
It's right up
your alley.
How would you
and patrice
like to do some
serious investigating
work for us?
You've got
to get me a lead
before the company
goes bankrupt
paying off these
inflated safe deposit
box claims.
Hey, I'm staking a lot
on you and patrice.
I know. I know.
You can't let me down.
I won't.
Come on.
I'll buy you lunch
and explain it.
You know why I love
tires so much, Tony?
Nope.
Do you want to know?
No, not a bit.
Tires are circles,
the most perfect
geometric shape
in the universe.
Everything possible
is represented
in a circle.
It's a beginning
and an end.
Tony, I have come
to see second chances
are possible
'cause we're all
in the same path.
Redemption is simply
another path
leading us back
to a new beginning.
Why couldn't you
just get Jesus
like every other con?
My boy!
Hey, what are you
doing here?
You weren't
supposed to be here
till next week.
I was in
the neighborhood, pop.
What's that?
New job.
Tony.
Hey.
What? What?
What? What?
What? What?
All right, patrice
is bailing on me.
She finally got tired
of you acting
like some kid
with expensive toys.
Thanks for all
your support, pop. Great.
Hey, I love you,
but I know you.
You know me.
Come on. Sit back down.
You want to talk about it?
No, pop. I don't
want to talk
about her now.
All right. Fine.
Wait a minute.
It's from those robberies
on the news.
These are tire tracks
from the scene?
That's right.
Bennington xgc-79s.
You can tell the tire
by looking
at the photos?
Yeah.
Come on, pop,
give me more.
Give me more
about the tracks.
Nothing. I just thought
it was interesting.
Oh, wait.
No cash was taken?
Nope.
No cash whatsoever.
Mira thinks
it's some sort of
big insurance scam.
Still, leave that money
just sitting there?
So you would
take it, huh?
No, I'm
making a point.
I myself
am reformed.
That stuff
don't tempt me
no more.
All I want to do
is my time,
get out,
and open
my tire store.
Sam Potter's on
a straight path,
or rather,
a circular one.
Ooh-whee,
I know this ass.
What?
Lily.
Lily?
Lily?
Your Lily?
His Lily?
Our Lily?
I mean, Lily-Lily?
Are you sure
about this, pop?
Trust me.
It's her.
Ain't that right,
Tony?
I don't want to
talk about it.
See?
Tell me.
This is Lily?
She's behind
these heists?
Lily?
Wait a minute. Lily's
got a great--hmm--
yeah.
But brains--no.
She must be hooked up
with somebody else.
Pop, this is an
unbelievable lead.
I can take
this to mira.
I solved the case.
Slow down, Sherlock.
We didn't solve
nothing yet.
We can't prove
that's Lily's ass.
O.K., what else?
You want to do this
with me?
Yeah, pop.
Just like old times.
You and me.
All right,
first things first.
We got to plan our work.
And work our plan.
All right. There's
something that bugs me
about this.
What are you
doing here?
I knocked.
Bullshit.
Yeah. I know.
Nice place, patrice.
Yeah. Real nice.
You and Nelson
have it good.
I don't live here.
We just have
our offices here.
Yeah. Actually,
actually, I knew that.
You two have a funny
kind of business,
don't you think?
What exactly is it
that you want, agent rankin?
Well, I'll tell you
exactly, patrice.
I want you to know
that as far as
I'm concerned,
Nelson Potter's
nothing more than
a common criminal.
Well, the court
said otherwise.
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I have to make
a phone call to your office
to let them know
you're a slimy little creep.
Nelson's old man cut
a deal with the d.A.
To get his son
off the hook.
The deal stunk then,
and it stinks now.
So what? It's old news.
Now let me pass.
Let you pass, patrice?
Well, why don't you
use the magic word?
All right.
Let me pass, asshole.
Aah!
don't.
All right.
Here's a real cute gag
for you, patrice.
Tell me what you think.
Nelson uses
your security company
to pass along
the information he needs
to take down these banks
real easy.
That's just stupid.
Who's being stupid here?
Isn't it odd
that of the last
five banks robbed,
you and Nelson
did security work
on three of them?
Yeah. Nelson's
dirty, patrice.
I want him,
and one way
or the other,
I'm going to get him.
You got that?
Now, in case you happen
to be involved,
you better come to me
and cut a deal
'cause you're too young
to go to prison.
And you will go down
as an accessory.
I promise.
It is a nice place.
What's this?
I'll tell you
something, patrice.
You should've thought
twice about quitting
before you
actually quit.
I'm going to have
more security work
than I can
possibly handle
once I solve this.
Rankin was here.
For what?
Pointers?
No. He thinks
we're involved.
Well, he thinks
you're involved
with the robberies.
The guy also thinks
polka music rocks.
So screw him.
No. You don't understand.
This could be serious.
Patrice, look,
nothing is serious
until it is.
Plus I have everything
under control, o.K.?
Yeah, I can see that.
For your information,
darling,
I just dropped off
a lead to mira
that will break this
whole case wide open.
The guy was speechless
because I came up with
something so fast.
You mean your father did.
He just called before
you came over, Sherlock.
Look, what is
your problem?
What's this attitude
all of a sudden?
It's not all of a sudden.
For the last year
I've been in business
with a man
who thinks
a wet t-shirt contest
is classical entertainment.
[Telephone rings]
[Ring]
Potter-Taylor security.
Who?
The who--
loni the body.
It's her professional
title, o.K.?
Get a clue, Nelson.
Professional is doctor.
Profession is attorney
or schoolteacher.
Hot cream wrestler
is not a profession.
And does she have to call
on our business phone?
Our bu--
no, no, no.
This is my
business phone.
So, look, the next time
you answer
my business phone,
you say,
"Potter security,
may I help you?"
And that's all.
O.K.?
There won't be
a next time.
Like I said,
who's stopping you?
Hello?
Hey.
Long time no nookie.
You liked that.
You thought
that was funny?
Yeah, well, people
with sense of humors
do find me
funny sometimes.
[Door closes]
Hold on.
Hi.
I get these
terrible headaches
whenever I think of money.
I really do need
a good bank
so I don't have to
think anymore.
Well, I think
you've chosen
the right bank.
Do you have some water?
Absolutely.
Thank you.
To a long relationship.
Skoal.
[Gagging]
[Choking]
He's dying!
I'm a doctor.
I'll, uh, get a gurney.
Ohh.
He's shocking.
Pulse and respiration
are irregular.
Get me some
adrenaline, stat.
Help me!
My heart, it feels funny.
Get him loaded.
I'll take care of her.
I'm feeling better.
You should still
go to the hospital.
No! I'm afraid
of ambulances!
I'll take you
in my Jaguar.
We'll follow the ambulance.
Well, what do you know?
I don't feel faint
anymore.
I guess I just needed
some fresh air.
Thank you, darling!
B-but...
I make house calls!
[Siren]
[Toy whirs]
Wh-what was that?
What was what?
What was that noise
I just heard?
I couldn't hear anything
above your belching.
Yeah, well,
Mexican food.
Hey, no. No, no.
I don't need help.
I can do this myself.
Oh, yeah.
It's open, Nelson.
You didn't lock it
when you left tonight.
Look at me. See,
I'm a security agent,
so I always
lock my door.
Well, you didn't tonight.
[Cocks gun]
I'll prove it
to you.
[Rattling doorknob]
See? It's locked.
It's completely
and utterly locked.
I'm going to take your car
and go to my home.
Good night.
O.K., go.
All right.
Good night.
Good night.
Uhh!
I'm sorry, lover.
You o.K.?
You kicked me
in my rib, too.
And why is your face
so fuzzy, pookie?
Ah!
Hey, you're not pookie.
Hey!
All right,
stay right there.
Both of you,
stay right there.
All right. I got
this shit cold. Come on.
You give up?
My hat.
Where is it?
Hmm?
Jeez.
Give me that.
[Rooster crows]
[Crowing]
[Arf arf]
[Ringing]
Hello?
Patrice, listen,
don't hang up.
Somebody killed
Mr. bingo.
[Click]
[Dial tone]
Hello?
Hello?
Well, well, well.
Another one
and no leads, huh?
Well, well, well.
I wonder what
they call this.
I think...
It's a lead.
How the hell
did you spot that
in all this trash?
I was trained to do that kind
of stuff, mira, remember?
"N.P."
I wonder who that
could stand for.
Mcclosky, get over here.
I want this checked
for prints right away.
N.P.
I guess we'll both be
on pins and needles
until we find out
who that is, huh?
O.K., so you were out
with loni the body,
yet another bimbo
in a long line of bimbos.
Her name's Bambi,
and she's not a bimbo.
You were drunk,
you came home, you fell.
Someone stepped on you,
you hit them,
they chased you,
then what?
Then I went
into my closet...
And you peed yourself?
What?
No, look,
I fell asleep
in the sprinklers.
Why?
Why isn't the right
question to ask now.
Then what
should I ask you?
What?
As in, "what"
is the question
I should ask
or "what,"
you didn't hear me?
Yes.
What?
Yes. What.
You're not getting me
in the middle of this
abbott and costello
routine.
Who are you calling?
I'm calling the police.
Forget it. No way.
Nothing was taken.
You had a prowler.
It should really be reported.
I'm in
the security business.
I'm not telling some cop
I left my door open,
someone came in
and murdered
my stuffed animal.
Sounds
pretty dumb to me.
Sweetie...
I want to talk to you
about something.
I'm going to wash up first,
take some aspirin.
Stick around.
I'm sorry.
Please stick around.
All right.
O.K.?
What are you looking at?
Did you do something
different with your hair
or something?
Oh, like you'd notice.
No, I didn't.
What's going on?
Nothing. I just thought
maybe the security camera
caught a shot
of the intruder.
That's a good idea.
Yeah, I know, Nelson.
That's what I do best.
I'm a security expert,
remember?
What's this?
I told you
rankin was here.
Yeah, but, patrice,
you never told me
that this--
[doorbell rings]
Go get the door,
would you?
Son of a bitch.
Nelson, this is serious.
don't do anything funny.
Oh, he's not going
to do anything.
Are you, Nelson?
Take her out
to the car.
I'll be out
in a minute.
Well, well.
What do we
have here?
Fragile things,
aren't they?
[Tosses tape to ground]
Found a pocketknife
at the scene
of our last little
bank robbery.
A pocketknife
with a nice, clear
fingerprint on it.
Can you guess whose
fingerprint it was?
Let me
give you a hint.
You're under arrest
for suspicion
of bank robbery.
Oh...
Unless you'd like
to resist.
You would
like to resist,
wouldn't you?
Yeah.
You want to resist,
Nelson.
Potter!
Kiss your sorry ass goodbye.
Whoo!
Yee-ha!
You scumbag.
[Dog barking]
Nice dog.
Nice dog!
Heel. Heel. Heel.
Heel. Hey!
Aah!
Oh...
Ooh!
[Siren]
[Siren approaching]
That's for trying
to kill me.
This is for patrice.
What are you buttheads
laughing at?
We got a suspect
out there. Get going!
Give me my pants!
Well, move it!
They're all scumbags.
And yet another
daring robbery
within a 50-mile radius
of Tucson
brings the total to four
that appear to be connected
to a mysterious gang,
who use both brains
and stealth
to take down even
the most secure vaults.
The police have told
our reporters
that they're not sure
of the total losses
because the owners
of the safe-deposit boxes
are still gathering
insurance information.
Hey! I can't believe
they're out of floss
at the prison store.
What am I supposed to do
after dinner?
We're having
corn on the cob.
Look at this.
What's that
look like?
It's a backgammon game.
The picture.
That's a bank robbery,
except that all the cash
is still on the shelves.
Exactly.
I got to get in touch
with Nelson.
He might be here
any time.
Nelson Potter is wanted
at this hour
for questioning
by the FBI.
Agent rankin,
special investigator
in charge of
the robbery task force,
has confirmed that Potter
is considered
armed and dangerous
and, if spotted,
should not be engaged
in any manner.
Tina naughton,
k.O.L.D. News center 13.
Armed and dangerous,
my butt.
Something stinks,
and my son stepped
right in it.
Look, I got to
find him, Tony.
The only way
I can do that is
with your help.
[Sam]
What do you give it?
[Tony]
Thumbs down.
Yeah. Yeah,
thumbs down.
Thumbs down.
Down, down.
I thought
the dramatic subtext
in tonight's movie
was flawed.
Absolutely. Breasts
have always been
a symbol of
the classic male dilemma--
do I eat or have sex?
The director didn't
convey that properly
at all.
Sergeant Peterson
is wanted in infirmary.
Sergeant Peterson,
infirmary, please.
I'll be back.
What do you think
this is, a hotel?
Do like I tell you.
Nobody will miss me.
They will if you're not
back by morning roll call...
In, uh, uh--uh--
nine.
Nine hours from now.
I'll be here.
Uhh! Uh!
[Hinges squeak]
[Whistling]
You sure about this,
Sam?
You've only got
five months.
You could get
another five years
in a real prison.
Nelson needs me.
Where's the gun, Nelson?
It's in the bedroom.
[Thump]
Freeze!
I know you can't tell
in the dark,
but this is a full-spray
12-gauge pump
and I know how to use it.
I said freeze!
No ms!
No ms.
Wait a minute.
You're Nelson's father,
aren't you?
You just turned me
into his mother.
Patrice.
Nelson always did have
good taste in partners.
What are you doing
out of prison?
Who, me?
You broke out, didn't you?
Do you realize
how stupid that was?
You only had
five months to go.
It's a federal offense.
Do you realize that?
Nelson's wonderful
life example.
No wonder he is
like he is.
She looks like a model,
kicks butt like Lily,
and sounds like
Nelson's mom.
Will you marry me?
Can also see where
he got his charm.
Why, thank you.
Um, where is Nelson?
I don't know.
What are you doing here?
Nelson had a prowler
the other night.
I wanted to prove
the knife was stolen.
Pardon me? What knife?
It's a long story, o.K.?
My Jeep is out front.
Let's get out of here.
Yeah. Sure.
[Starts engine]
Mmm.
I sure did miss
this grease.
Want a bite?
No, thanks.
Go ahead.
No, no, no, really.
Starch, cholesterol,
and fat.
Put hair on your chest.
With everything
against him,
it's no wonder
Nelson ran.
The question is,
how do we find him?
[Telephone rings]
Hello?
Patrice.
Patrice, it's me.
It's Nelson.
I'm a few doors down
from this place.
It's called grime-busters
laundromat. I'm on 10th.
Listen, sweetie, I'm giving
myself up, all right?
I need someone
to go with me, though.
I don't need rankin putting
warning shots in my head.
He's giving himself up.
Wherever you are,
you stay there.
Pop? What are you doing
out of jail?
I'll tell you later.
Where's Potter?
Sam's in the bathroom.
Yeah, right.
He's got diarrhea
from dinner.
Good idea.
Check on him later.
Ahh.
Hee hee hee hee!
The daughter
I always wanted.
Shh, pop.
I'm incognito.
You're incog-something.
Yeah, yeah.
What are you
doing here?
As long as I'm back
before roll call,
everything will be fine.
Can we go now?
We'll drop your father
off at prison.
Maybe they have
a night depository.
It's a joke,
wasn't it?
You told me she had
no sense of humor.
She doesn't.
That was a joke.
Are you two done?
I want to ask Nelson
something
before I forget again.
Remember when we made up
those gags?
Did you ever tell Lily about
that treasury deal gag?
No.
No, but that's it.
That's it, pop.
That's got to be it.
What?
What? Please.
Banks turn in old cash,
damaged cash
to the treasury.
The treasury replaces it
with brand-new currency.
If you were
a counterfeiter
and wanted
your phony money
to get to
the biggest number
of people
without being
checked...
Break into a bank,
substitute the funny money.
And nobody checks
the treasury's currency.
It's from the treasury.
It's got to be good.
That's pretty clever.
Thank you.
Thank you.
[Door opens]
Well, well, well.
Sam,
what a pleasant
surprise.
And what do we
have here?
Looks like a scumbag
reunion to me.
And just where
do you think
you're going?
Huh, Sam?
Want to get downwind
of you.
Good one, pop.
Shut up, butthead.
No. Nelson.
Stay here
and face this.
Pop, maybe we
should try to find
the next bank.
Time's running out.
This gag's only got
a short life span.
I don't know then.
Maybe I should
give up
and you should go
back to prison.
Maybe that's
the best thing.
What? Give up?
Will you quit thinking like
some middle-class doofus?
Who's going to
believe us about this
counterfeit thing?
The gang's
going to disappear.
You'll be left
holding the bag.
Besides, we're Potters.
We don't quit.
Fast getaways--
that's our specialty.
Yeah, I know, pop.
You know, if you
think about it,
all we really need
is the delivery list
from the treasury.
That'd do it.
What are you doing?
You know, pop...
Pop, patrice's computer
is at the house, right?
It's hooked right into
the police department's
database. Huh?
Now, that's my boy.
"Give up."
Ought to give you
a noogie.
Noogie, noogie.
Pop, I'm driving here!
Just like old times.
Yeah, it is.
This is great, pop.
This is what it
used to be like
when we used to go
camping, remember?
We never went camping,
Nelson.
We were bank robbers.
Oh, yeah.
This is what it
would have been like
if we would have
went camping.
Did you miss that stuff?
You know, boy scouts,
fishing trips,
normal stuff?
No. No, I didn't.
I turned out o.K.,
didn't I, pop?
Yeah. Yeah, you did.
Thanks.
What did you do?
Mexican food.
It does me wrong.
That's why we never
went camping.
Yeah.
Phew.
Something died.
Sorry, pop.
Ooh!
Surprising, they
didn't charge you
with anything.
They still might,
according to rankin.
Nelson say anything?
Something about
counterfeiters
replacing cash in banks.
What?
Replacing what cash?
I don't know.
It just sounded right
at the time.
Now it just sounds dumb.
Let's go get
in my car.
Hmm.
Where'd you get these?
Patrice has got
a survival kit
in the Jeep.
If the world
comes to an end
right now,
right here,
we're covered.
Smart girl.
Yeah, yeah.
Look,
what if it's not
this bank?
Nelson...
Both of us go to jail
for a long time.
Oh...
Hello, Lily.
How you been?
Ha ha!
Down. Down. Down.
She's coming.
[Telephone rings]
[Ring]
Hello?
Nelson.
Are you o.K.?
Yeah. They didn't
charge me with anything.
Where are you?
Me and pop
got them surrounded.
You'll see us on
the 11:00 news.
Nelson, please,
no more cops and robbers.
Tell me where you are
so mira and I
can come and get you.
God, I hate it
when he does that.
It was
a wrong number.
That's a good thing
you did, son,
keeping her out of it.
Where is he?
He's got them surrounded.
Does your car
have a lo-Jack?
Of course.
I'm a security expert.
I got a friend on
the Tucson police
department.
Hi. It's mira.
I need a favor.
No questions, o.K.?
A lo-Jack trace.
Pop, when do we call
the cops?
How about never?
Oh, this is
going to hurt.
Sam.
Knock it off, Lily.
You want some, too,
Nelson?
You do, and I'll shove
those fake tits
right up into your throat.
Fake?
Fake, my ass.
Yeah.
Maybe that, too.
Ladies, ladies,
peace. Be friends.
Is little Nelson
going to protect
his girlfriend
like he did with
the FBI agent?
You did what?
They're ready.
Aah!
All right!
Let's go!
Let's go!
Let's go!
Come on!
Come on.
Come on, move!
Come on.
Come on.
Get on the floor.
Get on the floor.
Listen up.
The generator's
going to replace
the city's power,
but the alarms
are going to be cut
from the inside.
Then mira will show up
and make sure nobody
from the cops or
the bank comes inside.
That's pretty clever.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Yeah.
We thought
about it.
So much brains
and talent...
And so little common sense.
Ha ha ha ha.
Better watch her, buddy.
She's got a way
of coming back at you...
Like
a bad tuna sandwich.
I thought tuna fish
was your favorite.
[Lily]
Just sit back and relax.
We have a few hours.
Pop, pop,
you all right?
Yeah.
[Bruno]
Tie her up.
Tell everybody
five minutes.
Perfect.
How you doing?
Frank mira,
bankers security insurance.
Everything's under control.
Thanks.
[Softly counting]
My butt fell asleep.
Yeah, mine, too.
Shh!
Hey, eat me, Bruno.
All right, Bruno,
I'm shushing.
I'm shushing.
How can you laugh
at a time like this?
I do have
a sense of humor.
I know.
I know.
I'm sorry I didn't
tell you earlier
how much I liked it.
I hope
it's not too late
or anything, but...
I don't want you
to leave the company.
It takes imminent death
for you to appreciate
a person.
You know something,
Nelson?
You know what
your main problem--
your problem is that...
Well, you haven't done that
nearly enough.
Well, I never thought
I had a chance with you.
Are you serious?
Shh!
Oh, eat us, Bruno.
Let 'em make
as much noise
as they want.
We're all clear!
Um...
Could we
stand up maybe?
Slowly...
Very slowly.
You know, Lily,
I think my dad has
a, uh, concussion.
He won't feel a thing
after that nitro blows up.
Mira, that was not
in the original plan.
A slight modification.
You all die here,
and it looks like
you messed up
with the acetylene tanks,
a sad ending to a brilliant
bank-robbing team.
Put that cash in my car.
Hurry. Let's go.
Damiano, you're going
to blow us all up!
Move them
into the vault.
Easy.
On the shelf.
Over there.
Come on.
Let's go.
Let's go.
We got two minutes.
Let's move it.
Come on.
Bruno, two minutes.
Let's go. Out.
Come on.
[Beeping]
Watch it!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Lily!
[Alarm ringing]
Lily!
It's not my fault!
I shut down the alarm!
That goddamn fire alarm!
Go! Go!
Get out! Get out!
Go!
Pop? Pop?
Aah!
Shut up!
don't be funny.
Come on.
Let's go.
Pop.
Come on. Pop. Pop.
Hmm?
Hi, Nelson.
Come on.
What's up?
Untie me.
Oh, sure.
Yeah.
How come
everything looks like
a bad porno movie?
Snap out of it.
Let's go.
Lily!
Let's get out of here.
Let's go.
I'll drive.
You sure?
Is a pig's ass pork?
All right?
Yeah.
Pop?
Yeah?
I'm still
a little fuzzy.
Maybe you
should drive.
I'll disconnect it.
Good idea.
You all right?
Yeah.
Easy, pop. Easy.
You in?
Yeah.
Pull it off, pop!
Thanks for your concern,
Nelson!
Take it easy,
will you?
Aah!
Yeah.
I smell scumbag!
It's Potter roundup time.
Keep this thing straight.
Move it!
[Tires squeal]
Aah!
Let me out of here!
Follow the trailer!
Shut her up!
Let me out!
Pop, get down!
How you doing, Sam?
Here, rankin!
Put that where
the sun don't shine!
Go ahead!
You greasy-haired fool!
You sorry shit!
Aah!
Thanks, pop!
Oh, lord!
Oh, lord!
Aah! Oh, lord!
Say your prayers,
Potter!
Patrice!
What?
Yes!
Patrice!
Nelson!
No!
Stay back!
Over there. Closer!
Move it!
Ha ha ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha ha!
Halt!
Aw...
Shit!
Get this thing moving!
Hyah!
Patrice!
Aah!
Aah!
Let go of me!
Lily! Lily!
It's payday.
Nelson...
Nelson,
are you o.K.?
Any serious damage?
Uh-uh.
We got to find pop,
get him back to jail.
Pop!
Oh, my god.
Pop!
Pop!
Didn't anybody
ever teach you
personal hygiene?
Pop!
Pop!
Pop, you gotta
go right now.
All right--
I love you, boy.
Take good care of her!
I will.
Go, pop! Go! Go!
Whoo!
Ha ha!
Yee-ha!
[Sirens]
Oh, shit.
He's been in there
all night!
You don't have to
check on him!
Oh. Sorry, Sam.
No problem, eustus.
You o.K. Then?
Mexican food.
Yeah. O.K., well...
You relax,
take your time,
come to breakfast
when you feel like it.
Thank you.
Come on, bash.
Give him some peace,
for crap's sake!
I made a joke.
Get it?
For crap's sake!
Ha ha ha ha.
Timing is everything.
Hee hee hee hee hee.
Tire stores
are expensive to open...
And old habits
are hard to break.
Everything
looks so quiet.
Do you think
he made it o.K.?
I hope so.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Pop made it o.K.
Soon I'm going to need
a new business partner.
You still want me
to leave the business?
I don't want you
to leave the business.
I know you don't
believe in mixing...
Business relationships
with romantic ones.
Wait a minute.
What?
Did I hear Lily right?
Did you go after rankin
for me?
Yes, milady, I did.
Nelson, do you know how
irresponsible that was?
Why did you do something
like that?
"Why" is
the wrong question
to ask me right now.
What?
Exactly.
What do you say
about me and you, huh?
I say, mmm...
I'll think about it.
O.K.
Maybe.
O.K.
If your dad makes it o.K.,
then we'll talk.
Look.
Peace, pop.
Dad's
going to be fine.
Us Potters are famous
for our fast getaways.
Do you know that?
Buckle up.
We're out of here.