Femme (2023) Movie Script

Wait, it's hard, get the towel.
Let's go, babe.
You ready?
Oh, God.
Come on, we need to get a deal.
Come on, squeeze in.
You know his daddy wanted him to be a surgeon.
Luckily, your daddy likes me just the way I do.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Help us.
And we're in, oh, my God.
I can't believe there's a party.
I'm going to go watch up front, break a leg.
Oh, my God.
I love that phrase when I'm wearing heels.
Oh, my God, friends kiss.
I didn't say anything.
Anton, babe, how long do I have left?
About 20 minutes.
We just talked up there.
Look down.
I see that, right?
Okay, good.
Down to the left.
Look at that.
Oh, you scared him away.
It's cute, babe.
Hey, what do you say?
You talk to me.
Hey, what do you say?
Thanks, please.
Do you want to say that to my face?
She's a big man in his high heels.
Turn around and say that.
All right, turn around then.
Turn around.
I said, how are you going to call me a faggot in front
of all of your friends when I call you checking me out earlier?
You lot know each other.
Fuck off, man.
He's chatting shit.
Babes, don't bother
messaging me later when you're looking for
a dick to suck, because you
and your don't touch the size dick.
No, my type.
Oh, fuck.
Hey, hey, hey.
Hold that for me, yeah?
Hold that for me.
Oh, he's gone.
What's going on?
All right, we're on.
We're on.
All right, come on, man.
What are you going to do, bro?
This man-woman humiliated you.
Where are you going?
Turn around, then.
Turn around and smile for the camera, please.
Turn around if you're a fucking man.
Hey, fuck your mother, man.
What did I say?
I said turn around.
Fuck off!
Oh, fuck off.
Holy shit.
Fuck off.
Get out of there.
Get your big man.
Get your big man.
Why you wearing a fucking dress, bro?
You're a fucking big man, right?
All right.
Get all your names.
Get all your fucking names.
Don't do fucking these.
Fuck, stop it.
Get your fucking dress up.
Get your fucking dress up.
That's it.
That's it.
You're getting all these--
You're not here, you're not.
You didn't say that to me, eh?
You didn't say that to me?
Bro, F is holding, holding, man.
Who's the big man now, ah?
Who's the fucking big man now?
You're the fucking big man.
I'm the fucking big man.
You're the fucking freak.
Lisa, get help.
All right, brother.
Stop fucking looking and get in evidence.
I threw together this little bad girl this morning,
so you could wear my old one if you wanted.
I know you can pause, so don't even try it.
I can, but I don't want to.
Why stay here playing?
Whatever the fuck this is.
When you could meet that guy in real life, like the clerk.
I don't want to be in real life.
Portions are horrible.
Can you look at me when I'm speaking to you?
I'm trying to suggest with my body language
that I don't want to start this again.
It's not really the night before it's even begun yet?
I'm trying to be a good friend.
This isn't healthy.
But he doesn't want to come out.
Every time you do this, you're letting them win.
Whatever. It's his life.
Hi. Hi.
Not tonight.
You're gorgeous.
Thank you.
I am nine inches in thick.
Maybe another time in there.
That's unbeautiful.
What did I just say?
So what are you talking to me for?
Just chill out, mate.
Back the fuck up before I fucking slap you.
Bloody psycho.
You're fucking dog's break.
You're calling, yeah?
You're just charring us and you.
Calm down.
I've called it poor faggot.
We're old faggots here, darling.
Fucking shit hole anyway.
Coming in.
You got a free place?
Keep your mouth shut.
Fung, where the fuck did you go?
I shit the sweat out, innit?
You were a liability.
Nah, mate.
Just border your chat.
You back of the flat?
Nah, I'm still out waiting for this geezer, innit?
Don't know what the fuck he thinks he's playing at.
You need to change your art, man.
Trust me.
You're probably gonna go
junction afterwards if you fancy it.
Aye, yeah, I'll see how I feel.
Aye, safe, safe.
We'll be right here.
Don't let no one see you coming.
Anyone see you?
No. What a beer.
I'm okay, thanks.
Shoes off.
Shut the door.
So what's your name?
I don't want to hear any noise, you understand?
You make a noise, I'm gonna copy your mouth.
Take your clothes off.
Good boy.
When you're front.
I don't wanna know.
I don't wanna make a beer, I think.
Don't fucking move, yeah?
Where are you, man?
Aye, give me a fucking minute, man.
Aye, I need a piece.
Who's the big man now, huh?
Let me take the fucking dress off that shit.
Shut up, president.
Give me one of them.
You're not lying.
You're rolling fucking up, I'm good.
Cutting up selfish lies.
Rolling, smoking the crack cocaine.
Hey, who's that?
What, the son of the--
Someone's creeping.
You got a girl in there.
He's creeping.
He's got a girl in there.
Who's this?
It's my mate, innit?
What, you're not telling me you're bringing your boy over?
You're my fucking minder now.
That's where he's trying to keep me busy
while some chug rubs me blind.
What's your name, brother?
You didn't know my yard, Jules?
Just picking up, innit?
A bit late.
No, no.
All right, obviously sleep.
Where do you lot know each other from?
Ah, scene.
You're man with soulmates, yeah?
Shut up, man.
Do you want to be a Jules?
You could come tell us some stories
about Preston getting bobbed in the big house.
I think you're funny, innit?
No, no, no.
You know what, I'm gonna bounce.
Oh, rude.
That's it.
I'm gonna have him take his press camera.
Press camera.
Put your number on my phone.
I need to get my clothes back, innit?
You gonna wait for my text, yeah?
Good boy.
It's so good to be back.
So good.
I'll tell you what, that last girl was in.
I can't help it.
What's your mark-up?
Hard cash value.
What is your time worth?
So what, you just starting a new account?
You ain't got your address?
Yeah, listen, my mates just turned up, yeah?
You call me tomorrow.
Hey, hey, hey.
All right.
All right?
Are you?
You going shopping just for me?
No, I needed new stuff anyway.
Did you now?
I forgot your hoodie, by the way.
Keep it.
It's a knock-off anyway.
I don't wear that shit no more.
If you're on a budget, though,
I can get you more of that on a cheap.
It looks real.
That's the job.
Fucking maniac!
Can I get some water, potato?
Yeah, can we get a bottle of
sparkling, a pint of Brixton, and, uh...
Can we get the wine list?
Oh, yeah, it's at the back of the movie.
Do you know what? A housewife would be good.
What do you recommend?
I mean, well, I personally like the French souvenir.
It's a little lighter, very drinkable.
Glass it up, please.
Yeah, it's all right, this place.
No, yeah.
It seems really nice.
Don't worry, it's on me. No,
no, no, no, no, no, no, it's on me.
So, listen.
It was a bit of a madness what you did the other night.
Sorry about that.
No, no, no, I kind of rate it still.
It would have been a
different story if you fucked up, but...
I don't need to go into that.
Hey, so...
I understand.
Can we order some food?
You hungry, yeah?
We get a Chateau Briont,
say 400, 500 grams. Rare as you go.
We get a smoked bone marrow,
beef fat potatoes, grilled hispy,
and a few sauces.
Surprise me.
Yeah. Cheers, isn't it?
So, what is this, like...
This is like a MO.
My MO.
Dinner dates with boys and men, so what is?
Nah, not usually.
So, what makes me so special?
I'll have to get back to you on that one.
Oh, shit.
And I'm just...
I'm just trying to work out what the vibe is here.
What do you mean?
I'm not imagining double
dates with your friends anytime soon.
You're funny.
You keep your side of your life completely separate.
I'm a private person.
You know, I don't like people getting in my business.
You got a girlfriend.
Not at the moment, no.
Would you like it if I did?
Why would I like that?
I see you.
Mm-hm. Mm-hm.
What do you think I'd do for a living?
You think I'm a dealer, innit?
Is that what you're into?
You want a big man to treat you like a little bitch?
Yeah, I knew you were tight.
Well, if that's what you're after,
I could fill up your bingo card.
Shot in, GBH, downtime, all of it.
What were you in for?
I don't want to talk about that.
Yes, I do.
Thank you.
This is what you're after, yeah?
You want to get fucked in the house by a thug?
This is what you get off of.
You answer me when I speak to you?
This what?
Yes, I want it.
What the fuck?
But I didn't make it myself.
I got like, material from like, just down the road.
It just happened once, happened, sorry.
Sorry, I should have texted you.
Bit of a surprise.
Playing Anton, it was meant to be like, five people.
Where you been?
With a friend.
Like a friend or a date.
Sorry, I just like, I don't know what's going on with you.
What do you mean?
Just miss my friend.
Can I have a hug?
It's okay.
Just, okay.
Just find it a hug.
I know.
Like it's just alcohol.
I'm just drunk and fucking hate it.
Sorry, I'm such an idiot.
I'm so lazy.
It's just alcohol.
I fucking hate it.
I know, baby.
It's the worst.
Come on, let's go.
Let's get you in.
You got a fayon flower?
What for?
Love this.
Do that thing where you look at me but don't look at me.
Look at me.
I'm shy.
I'm so shy.
Work it.
Work it.
Now your face is banging.
What the fuck?
You don't know who's looking.
You don't know who's looking.
Oh, but I look cute there, right?
No, I'm serious.
I've just been thinking about you.
What are you up to?
You're a glutton from one issue.
Can I tell your friends about me?
Can I tell your friends about me?
What would I do?
Who's helping me?
Oh, my God.
Oh, oh.
Oh, oh.
Oh, oh.
Oh, God.
Oh, oh.
Oh, oh.
Oh, oh.
Same again, yeah?
Something is, yeah, I'm a nice guy.
If you disrespect me, fuck you up.
-You'll forget that. -Yeah?
-I'm sick. -Are you not?
Okay, let's remember not to fuck with you then.
What the fuck?
Fuck you.
Turn it off.
What the fuck are you doing? Turn it off.
It's off, it's off.
Get the fuck out of my car.
I'm sorry, I thought you were--
No, fuck you up. Did you think I was joking?
No, I was--
Did you think I was joking?
No, no, no, don't test me then.
I'm sorry.
Delete it. Delete it now.
Are you--
Fuck, son of a--
I told you I don't want my face or nothing.
I don't know-- I don't know you like that.
I don't know what you're about.
I'm sorry, man.
It was a mistake.
Don't do that again.
Get in the car.
I can get you an upgrade for that for cheap.
5G, better camera.
It's fine.
No, like, I wouldn't make you pay for it or nothing.
Thank you.
I've got a temper, yeah?
if you shock me, I'm going to react.
I get that.
I put you in a--
in a vulnerable position, though.
I should have asked.
It's my fault.
I'm sorry.
(heavy breathing)
- So see you next week?
That was nice.
In the end.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
- Okay.
Okay, I'll text you.
- Okay.
- What the fuck?
What the fuck?
Turn it off.
Turn it off.
It's off.
- I'm just saying, if my kids look like that,
I probably wouldn't keep putting them on Instagram.
- Joes.
- Yeah?
- Where you been?
- With a friend?
- She told me you don't have to lie about it.
I know you're seeing someone.
- I just want you two to talk again.
- Can we talk about this later?
- No.
Come and sit down.
Come on.
(door opens)
- Go on then.
- Can we just be friends again, please?
- I've got type of yellow ones ignoring me.
- Because...
- Oh, I was very drunk.
I just wanna forget it ever.
- It's already forgotten.
- Good.
- Good.
- Is that it?
(door opens)
- Okay, what is this energy you've brought in
with you tonight?
- Mm, frustration, confusion,
a sprinkling of self-loathing.
You know, Friday night.
- Spill the tea, bitch.
- Can we just get drunk?
- I guess you summed it up.
It's just... - History.
- See, this is why we don't
date people who hate themselves.
- I did not get that memo.
- I mean, not to be all Oprah about it,
but if there's no emotional connection,
you're just a puckered sphincter
for him to dump his coming to.
- Did I properly say that?
- She texted me this morning.
- So...
Me and Toby
have been talking about your birthday.
Wondering how you wanna deal with that this year.
- I was saying that this--
- No.
- Sorry, sorry.
- No, obviously there's no pressure from us.
It can be,
it can be whatever you want it to be.
- Hmm.
I think I wanna get back on stage.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Fucking miss her.
- And for daddy.
- Yes.
- I miss her too.
- No, no, she was just so,
she was so powerful.
It's not that it's confusing.
It was like,
it was like, like she was the real me and,
and I was the performance.
I laughed at it.
After, you know.
It was like I wasn't,
it's like I wasn't worth that anymore.
- I could let her down.
- You didn't let anyone down, babe.
- So,
should we be preparing for a comeback tour?
- Oh.
- Kyoko shows comes up.
- You mate, you mate.
- Get the girls in, get the girls in.
- Come on, who's your manners?
- Yeah, that's you, Bish.
- Get the next one.
- The chivalry goes a long way.
- You're a joke.
- You're a joke, huh?
She finds me funny.
- You're a Bish.
- Oh, Preston's little mate.
What was the name again?
- Jules.
- I think I Preston said he was too tired to come home.
- Christian.
- What are you doing there, Jules?
- I'm just here to pick up on that.
You know, he gets all this shit from me.
- Don't be ripping him off.
- Hey, hey.
- Hey, naked, guys.
- Hey, hey, Preston, man, put some fucking clothes on.
- Hey, come on, man.
- We've got company.
I swear he's trying to seduce you, Jules.
- Preston, you got the cold ones.
- I know.
- I done, 40 of you lot was going loose.
- Ah, Debs do a hissy, man.
- Fucking psycho, man.
- Jules, man, put some
clothes on and we can get out of here.
- Wait, wait, please don't leave me.
Don't follow me.
- Well done.
- Yo.
- Put that back.
- Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Jules.
- Bro, I still have no clothes in, man.
Bring it here.
- You get nicked, you get nicked.
You get nicked, Jules.
What you be talking about?
- How many are in church to meet, man?
- You know, we're just about to come out.
- No, you lot, this guy was in Pentonville with Preston
and he's looking at me like I'm the crook.
Are you coming into my house and being rude to me, Jules?
- I'm not.
- Then come and sit down, man.
- You know what, though, yeah, if you wanted weed,
you should have come straight to the source.
Would have given you a much better deal.
- Come on, it's all right, man.
Just for sleep, I've got enough.
- How much money have you got on you now?
- Of course, man, that's Preston's meat, bro.
- Hush your gums, man, that ain't scary.
Ain't gonna drop the soap.
- Allow it, man.
- What was you inside for?
- What?
- Prison.
- Oh.
- Stay then.
- You want a few more seconds to think about that?
- No, no, no, I just don't want to talk about it, do I?
- I'm not gonna lie, Jules, you don't look like the type.
- Oh, shit, you got Streetfire on.
- Are you a gamer, Jules?
- Oh, yeah, I bet.
- Well, I'm actually top 10 in the world at Streetfire.
- Oh, gee.
- Top 10 in the room, then.
- Top 10 in this room at Streetfire.
- Oh, give me that.
- You want to play?
- Yeah.
- I'll be each gamer's seats.
- Jack.
- Loud Jules, man, he's a guest.
- Yeah, don't be sad that Jules, that's my character.
- Have you seen a second, it comes with a lion?
- A lion, yeah.
- Comes with a lion as well.
- There you go.
- What are you laughing about, man?
- I'm fucking laughing, man.
- It's a fucking tiger, bro.
- Now, let's begin.
- Oh, Jules gonna be Chun-Li.
- You know, she's a buff cartoon, innit?
- She is.
Jules, Chun-Li will get it, you know.
Fuck, you know.
- Come on, Jack.
- If her thighs are that big, I imagine the bunder.
- Sizemaker.
(engine revving)
- Mmm, just straight in, yeah?
- Oh, that arse.
- Fuck, you know.
(engine revving)
- You know, you can have a lay-on-up.
- I'm running, bro, I'm slapping in here as well.
- You're dead, bro.
- I've actually fatted before.
- Just play the game, man.
- You just got perfected by a girl.
- He's honestly always talking about he's the best.
- Look at this guy now.
- Restored, man, you'll make
some fucking savage at this, man.
- You're flirting, you say, "Move over and over again."
- You guys are so loud.
- You're cheap, Ola.
- Come on, Don.
- You're bringing Trillia again, yeah?
- Yeah.
- You know who it's going to be, innit?
- There you go.
- I love you, so serious?
- Come on, Don.
- How come you play, innit?
- Look at Don playing with two fingers
like he's playing a fucking piano.
- That's how you make the change,
you make the whole game, man.
- Oh, fuck, you're dead.
- You're dead.
- I know.
- All right, fuck off, man.
- You know your play is repacko.
- Yeah, I'm fucked.
- Like, you realize.
- Right.
- You make it stay standing, fuck.
Stay standing.
- Damn, I'm half-taught.
- You made it, you're long.
- I'm a little bit sick.
- You got two, you got two.
- You got two.
- The problem with the controller is you're holding it.
- Try and get off the fucking wall.
- That's all.
- You're gonna grab again.
- Trust me.
Try, do it again.
- You're gonna have to keep passing.
- How does this just get bloodlust?
Oh, no, uh-oh.
- Don't fucking throw my stuff on the ground,
I swear down.
Someone pass me the fucking thing, man.
- Bad disrespect, man.
- I'm joking, man.
- Fuck off, man.
- You're not holding the wall.
- You're doing this for the Jews, fuck.
- Fuck this.
- Shut up, shut up, you fucking bloke.
- What do you mean?
- I see you losing.
- Preston, you're on my face, man.
He's coming now, he's getting hurt.
- Where's the ball?
- You're gonna have to get it out of my fucking face, man.
- I'm gonna win, I'm gonna win it.
I'll be there, I'll be there.
I'm gonna win, I'm gonna win.
- Oh, man.
- Fuck off, man.
- This guy's trying to cheat.
- It was so close, though.
- This guy's fucking cheating.
- What's in this shit?
- I told you this guy was crazy.
- Like, see me fucking meet up?
- Kinda, yeah.
We can get out of there now if you want.
- We could go fucking around.
- No, mate.
- Jules, grab me a beer, man.
- There's none left.
- Fucking Preston, man.
Buy your own fucking beers, man.
- First one I've had.
- Keep driving around in your uncle's BMW.
- Mate, why you being a dickhead?
- So you're a scrounger?
Come on, you man.
- Hey, my uncle, shall I put it off?
- Are you trying to impress?
- We're going out.
I ain't staying in no dry house.
- Focus on the game, you focus on the game.
- Jules, you coming?
- We can't, we got shit to do.
- What, is that chatting to you?
Do whatever the fuck you want, man.
- Jules.
- Yeah.
You all right?
- Come on, you lot.
- What are you doing?
- I'm done.
- I'm just keeping it interesting.
- Hey, Lydian, come in, yes?
- Check.
- Yeah, that's Jules, yeah?
- Yeah, he's doing it.
- All right, let's go, some shots.
- Yeah, yeah, shots.
- You got him, then?
- Yeah, come on, then.
- Come on, come.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
- Oh, oh.
- Oh.
- Oh, I feel it.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Yell him in shirts, and watch.
Did you see the back?
- I feel it.
- She's got a husband.
- Oh, nice.
- Yes, I hear it.
What a waste, man.
Watch, watch, watch.
- Why are you so harsh, then?
- It's like banter, innit?
The trick is, you wanna push him right to his edge,
and then just walk away.
And the next time someone looks at him sideways,
he goes full-on psycho.
- Is it bad?
- Yeah, you never see that, no?
- No, no.
- My man's like a pit bull
that's been dropped on his head too many times.
He's kinda funny still.
Not for the person who's
getting chunks torn out of him, no?
- Sounds fucked.
- Bro, sweetie.
- Yeah, bruv, I swear to God,
imagine that mid-year, this pub here,
this guy comes up to you,
just we chatting, I know I'm in it from the gym,
but just chatting.
- Are you chatting to the guys in the gym?
- Man, he kept, listen, bruv, he kept that.
That's not me, bruv, that's not me.
That's got me in the pub.
- Okay, okay.
- He's in the gym, bro.
We up, dude.
- But anyways, I'm chatting to him here,
and there's this one girl that we chatting to
for a couple weeks here.
He's the only beautiful friend here.
I'm like--
- He chatted to him on his side.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm like, you know this girl?
I'm tapping into this girl.
You know this girl, man, I swear to God,
man goes at it, I'll say that, man goes,
show it to him, I'm like, bruv, you know who this girl is?
I swear to God, the guy goes,
bruv, he goes, that's my girl.
- I got me a dickhead.
- I swear to God, bruv, I swear to God,
I'll always love bruv myself.
Pudge you anyway, bruv.
But whose round is it?
- Not mine, man.
- What?
Whose round is it?
- Chris.
- I'm like, any trick question, bruv.
Who's round is it?
- Yeah.
- What you up?
- Yeah, go, yeah, go.
- Yeah, go.
- Joss?
- Chris.
- Can I dance with me?
- What?
- Can I dance with me?
- What happened to me, Lydia?
- Yeah, yeah.
- All right, Joss.
- What, Lydia, you moved quick.
- What, Joss?
- That's a flop.
- Yeah.
- Nice.
- Yeah.
- You're doing pretty good.
- Press it, man.
- Come on, man.
- You're the dude, bruv.
Baby, we can do this for the night
( Hello Uber lock)
Freaky girl, trying to freak you girl
When you, when you wish you looked freaky girl
You know, you the one that I'm taking home
Girl, I love you, you do that for me
We can do this for you
(crowd chattering)
- We need this to cool off.
- Getting some air.
I was just pissing me off.
- This is a fucking dickhead.
- Cut it, love.
- All right.
- What's this act you're doing?
- You like it.
(crowd chattering)
- Not the ending you want.
I'm not your type.
- Yeah.
- You ain't a big man to treat you like a little bitch.
- Maybe.
- Come on then.
Let's go.
And you do what I say.
- Yeah.
- Good boy.
(door opens)
- Upstairs.
Take your fucking shoes off.
(door opens)
- What are you doing?
Take your clothes off.
You know what I mean?
When you're out there with your little friends,
pretending to be some big man of thot,
I want to remind her
that really,
you're just my little slut.
(breathing heavily)
- Are we gonna do what I say?
- What's this?
We're going to a fight.
- Give me a name.
I'll fuck them up.
(door opens)
- Ah, they're mixing all of us actually.
They're kind of just picking trees.
- No.
- Toni.
- It's a syring stress.
- Right, right.
- I asked him what to do.
Morning, Wrecked.
- You want some food?
- Wow.
It's quite extravagant.
- Oh, Julius.
Then you have guests.
- They're keeping you against your will.
- That's fine.
It's food, innit?
- We hear it was a big night.
- Yeah, I got a little,
a little heavy.
He was on one.
- Hmm.
Hair at the dog then?
- Preston was just telling us about his business.
- It's just a market stall at the moment.
I'm saving up some capital to expand.
- And what kind of clothes is it?
- Like street wear, skate wear.
Like Stussy or Supreme, but not...
I'm trying to make some
connections with smaller European labels.
Help them establish over here.
- Cool.
- So you're the inspiration behind Julius' new dressings?
- Uh, nah, I think that's all them.
- Hmm.
- He's got good style though.
- Hiya.
I just wanted to say,
sorry if I've been a bit standoffish.
Julius is my best friend. I'm protective.
It's been rough lately.
Don't know if he told you about the, um, the attack.
- The scar on his head?
- Hmm.
Hasn't really felt like the real jewels since then.
All this, the clothes, the posturing,
I just worry.
We're planning a birthday thing for him.
You should come.
- Yeah?
- I don't know if you're
asking me, probably be embarrassed,
but if he sort of just showed up as a surprise,
I think he'd be really touched.
And it'd be good for you to
see him in his natural environment.
- Maybe. See what I'm doing.
- Give me your number. I'll text you the details.
- Right.
Last night, I was kind of mad.
- Yeah.
- I'll text you.
- Fuck.
- Come on.
- She's here!
- Come here!
- Happy birthday!
- Welcome home!
- Oh, my God.
- All right. Can I get a bit, please?
- What are you looking for?
What is he doing here?
- I invited him.
- Does Jules know?
- It's a surprise.
- Toby.
- What? Is this birthday?
- I can't see what they're trying to do here.
- All right.
- Hey!
So nice of you to come.
- I can't stay long. I've got another thing, but
I'd have one. Say happy birthday.
- Do you want me to put that in my bag?
- Jules.
Where is he at?
- Um...
I'll be on stage in a minute.
- On stage?
- Welcome back, my children, to Salasir!
- And...
Shut the fuck up.
Our next act left us for the summer
to go and sip the cocktails in the Hamptons.
But now...
she's back.
And if you thought that she was a bad bitch before,
let me tell you...
you are going to gag!
So please, give a large hand
and raise the roof for my friend as a queen
as a fucking south effra-dighty man!
- Hold up! Hold up!
Yes, I said, I said!
Yes, it's been a minute, bros.
What you sayin'?
She is broad!
So they say you should always lead with a joke.
So I'm just going to jump right in
with a story about my gay bastard.
No, no, no, no.
Don't panic.
Don't panic.
It all ends with us making a very steamy sex tape together.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
I know we've all seen that poem before,
but trust me, this guy is a very special performer.
- Happy birthday. - Fuck!
What are you doing here?
- Your mate invited me.
Surprised you.
- I'm not supposed to come.
If you're caught, I'll remember you.
I don't know what you mean.
Don't you?
Because you kind of gave the joke away in your act.
I don't want to talk about this here.
Where you going?
- I'm a fucking psycho. - Preston.
You fucking psycho, Preston.
You can make fucking fun of me.
- Please, just calm down. - Oh, what?
Stay the fuck away from me.
Shut the fuck up.
Shut the fuck up.
Shut the fuck up.
Shut the fuck up.
Shut the fuck up.
Who did you show the video to?
Don't fucking lie to me.
I'm going to take my hand away, yeah?
If you scream, I will fucking got you.
You understand me, yeah?
Who did you show it to?
Don't fucking lie to me.
Don't fucking lie to me.
If you lie to me...
I loved it.
I know you know.
I don't think it's what you're thinking.
Don't wear me up.
- Wear down. - Let me explain.
Explain what? Explain what?
You tried to fuck me up.
I didn't. I didn't. I couldn't do it.
You couldn't go for it. You expect me to believe that?
- You expect me to believe that? -
I don't hurt you, yeah, but I couldn't.
- But what? - I just feel sorry for you.
- But what? - I
just feel sorry for you.
- But what? - I just feel sorry for you.
You felt sorry for me.
That's my phone.
Come here for them, back off.
Fuck's sake!
Fuck the fuck!
I'm fucking wearing it!
Come in, fucking lie!
Fuckin' lie!
Get the fuck out of here.
Fuck it, lie.
You're so cute.