Finding Neighbors (2013) Movie Script
- I guess I've been asleep
for most of my life.
Oh, there were moments
of clarity,
flashes,
snapshots in time.
But overall, a long slide
through dreamland.
But wait.
That's me.
I do remember that
and that.
Those were good times.
The artist as a young man.
The world was my oyster.
But, you know,
I wondered about it, even then
the success,
the adulation.
Was it real?
Did I deserve it?
Or was I an imposter?
I mean, I did the work.
Well, I did some work.
But when it all fell away,
it was almost a relief,
a validation of my suspicions
about myself.
Then what are you left with
when all that dries up?
Alcohol? Women?
I went there, big time.
It seemed harmless at first.
Then I almost lost it all,
everything,
even my lovely wife, Mary.
Ask her.
She'll tell you.
I miss it.
She knows I do.
The glory days.
So when the guys next door
rented out their guest house
to Mary's pal Sherrie,
I can't say
that I didn't notice.
I mean, come on.
But around here, it seems like
everyone's got their issues,
even me.
Because, I admit it,
sleep,
it can be nice.
- Tucker, it's Warren.
So what happened
to the deadline?
To say we need to talk
is an understatement.
- Can you get that?
Sam?
- Is this yours?
- It looks like it.
- We heard you out there.
- Where?
- Outside the window.
You degenerate.
Next time, we turn you in.
- What was that?
- Um, the guy from next door
brought back our flashlight.
- Oh, he borrowed it?
- Not exactly.
Is this ours?
- I don't know.
Ooh, I got to go.
I'm late.
Bye.
- Here's your fucking
flashlight.
- Hey, watch your language.
- This is ours.
You think I was spying?
What's wrong with you?
- Is there something wrong
with us?
- Don't do that.
You're not baiting me.
I got plenty of gay friends,
and I'm not putting up with it
from you or your associate.
- One, two, three.
One, two, three.
One, two, three.
- Hey.
- What you doing?
- Nothing.
I'm just driving home.
- Can I tell you again
how much I love this place?
- Oh, I'm so glad.
Hey, what about
the hot Italian guy?
- He's still hot.
- Yeah?
Like a meatball sandwich, huh?
- Meaty and sweaty and
- Okay, all right, got it.
Can't wait to meet him.
Sam.
Sam, wewe're gonna be late.
- She's my sister, so...
- She's done a really good job.
- You one of the staff here?
- Oh, my wife.
Just recently.
- Congratulations.
- She just renewed her license.
- The one with the orange?
- Mm-hmm.
- Everyone seems
to really like her.
- I'm Sam.
- Mike.
- What's your connection here?
- Senior Therapist.
I retire in two months.
- Good for you.
- Thanks.
- Although I don't know if I'd
ever personally use that word
retirement.
A lot of people
would say I'm retired already.
Nothing much would change, so...
Are you looking forward to
- Did you have a good time?
- It's not really my crowd.
- Yeah, what's your crowd?
- Good point.
You?
- I did. I had a nice time.
- You're sure you're okay
with it,
going back to work?
- Oh, Sam, come on.
I'm working,
and I'm excited.
- Come on.
Don't be stupid.
- Don't insult me.
- Things won't always
be so good.
- You think I don't know that?
- So appreciate it.
- I need more.
- Than a roof over your head?
- You know
what I'm talking about.
You know exactly!
- But we're doing fine.
We're doing so well.
- "So well" falls very short.
- Tucker, it's Warren.
I'm taking some real heat here.
They're gonna kick it
over to legal.
I can't protect you,
not this time.
- Sam, I thought you said
you were gonna call him back.
- Oh, I did.
I, um, I left him a message.
- Legal?
- He exaggerates.
He's an agent.
- All right, have a good day.
- You too.
- Hi.
I came to apologize.
- Don't worry about it.
- That flashlight could have
been there for a while.
The batteries were dead.
Maybe we heard a skunk.
I'm on my way
to the post office,
but to make amends,
may I buy you a coffee?
- Jane.
Hi, I'm Mary Tucker.
Do you want to come on in?
Okay, I'm gonna step back
in my office.
You come in when you're ready.
- So you're the wife, like me?
- Well, I'm not sure
I would describe it like that.
- No, no, no, of course not.
- But Paul would.
And the crazy thing...
I have no idea
how I arrived here.
Paul, Paul has a job.
Paul has a life.
- You don't have a life?
- I suppose I do,
but... boring.
- What's your thing?
- Literature.
Critical studies.
But my dream...
photography, fine art.
I'll own a gallery someday.
- That's pretty specific.
Did you study it?
- No, but I've got applications
everywhere.
Paul has friends in high places,
but he needs me at home.
But enough about me.
What about you that you can be
at the house so much?
- Oh, I stay pretty busy.
- And if you don't mind
my asking...
- I write.
- How exciting.
- Graphic novels.
- Anything I might have seen?
- Well, my first,
some years ago,
was called Grand Central.
- Oh, my God.
Sam Tucker?
What happened?
- What?
- You know what they say,
Never meet your heroes.
- That doesn't sound good.
- You were a chapter
of my dissertation.
I devoured you.
Until Bluebird.
- Ha, fair enough.
- So what are you
working on now?
- Truthfully?
- Of course.
- Nothing.
- I don't understand.
- I'm kind of stuck right now.
Howie sits.
- Howie?
- My protagonist.
- So let's talk about it.
- Talk?
- Of course.
- Um, excuse me.
Hello.
- Hey, how's your day going?
- Good.
- Yeah, what are you doing?
- Slogging along.
- What's that noise?
- I came down to the crossing.
- With your laptop?
- Yeah.
- Does that battery work?
- I plugged it in.
- You sound weird.
- Will you stop saying that?
Good night.
- Night.
Okay, Howie, give it up.
You got anything?
- Oh.
- Today we're making
peppered pork
with a cognac pan sauce.
So let's start
with our fresh ingredients,
a mlange of peppercorns,
fennel,
garlic, vegetable oil, sea salt,
and a flawless
5-pound pork butt.
- Oh. Ah.
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
- Oh, yeah.
Oh!
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
- It's Warren.
So they did it.
It's with legal.
They're gonna sue.
They want your advance back
and now damages on top.
You could have prevented this
any number of ways.
I'd appreciate any kind
of goddamn response.
- So what's this about, Sam?
Do you like what you see?
- I have no idea
how to answer that.
- You feeling a little funny
in your pants?
Sam?
What are you doing in there?
- Hey, Tucker.
The usual?
- Make it a double.
- You okay, man?
- Yeah, you know.
I just woke up.
- That's the life.
- Found it.
The dissertation.
"After his first two works
were largely overlooked,
"Samuel Tucker began to fear
that there was no appreciation
"for the serious artist
"in a culture obsessed
with constant stimulation.
"So the agenda for
the third book, Bluebird Sky,
"a collaboration
with then novice Andrew Koch,
"was to dumb it down
and to incorporate
"humorous reportage
on contemporary society
"along with more broadly
drawn characters.
"The novel was overshadowed
by the derivative motion picture
"which opened to mixed reviews,
"but they attracted
a crass mass-market audience,
which was not at all the kind
of following Tucker coveted."
- Wait a minute.
You make me sound...
elitist.
- Hello.
Did you meet the actors?
- I refused to go to the set.
- You dolt.
- It was sophomoric.
- Parts were so funny.
The miniature golf scene,
come on.
- Fine.
I love miniature golf.
- Shit.
Now what?
- Like the nice man
that you are,
you wait for my turn.
- Yeah.
- What the hell?
- I thought
you were good at this.
- You know, Paul and I have
such a hard time making friends.
- How did you meet?
- Online.
- How long has it been?
- Two years, a month, four days.
- And you hit a rough patch.
- I'm holding on
to someone else.
- Who?
- My darling, Jack.
Now the bastard sends an email.
- Hey.
- Wow.
- When was the last time
I told you
how much I appreciate you?
- I can't remember.
- That's exactly what I thought.
Peppered pork.
- Nice.
Looks like you're enjoying
yourself.
They're good.
- You know what?
I am.
I had a pretty good day.
- How much have you had?
- There's the bottle.
Check it out.
- Sorry.
Can I help?
- Suit yourself.
- I'll set the table.
- Hey.
- Hey, were you home today?
- I was.
- Did you notice anything?
- What do you mean?
- At our house.
- Uh, no.
- Sam's acting weird.
There was this lip gloss.
- That is weird.
- Yeah, and two tea cups.
- Hmm.
- Passionate Peach.
That is not something
I would use.
- So it wasn't you.
- Well,
I did come by for a beer.
- A beer?
- Mar, Sam,
he seems so depressed.
He's at that age where he wants
to shake it while he can,
make hay, wild oats,
you know, or at least feel
like he could.
Can he?
- That's really personal.
Of course he can.
- I'll be honest.
I've thought about it.
I have.
- Thought about what?
- Sex.
- With my husband?
- Come on.
It's just a fantasy.
- Okay, you know what?
Forget about it.
Clearly I can see
this was a mistake.
- Why?
- You're still a mess.
- Bon apptit.
- Cheers.
- Did something happen at work?
- No, work's fine.
It's good, actually.
Are you depressed?
- Do I look depressed?
- You do have
some of the symptoms.
- Okay.
- All right, look.
Here's the deal.
Is there something
that you need to tell me?
I mean, I don't know.
Is something going on?
- No.
- Are you sure?
What's this?
- Oh, that.
It's, um, you know, Jeff.
- Jeff?
- Next door.
- Is that the truth?
- Of course it's the truth.
- And Sherrie?
- Yeah.
I mean... she stopped by.
- Why?
- I don't know.
She was just doing her thing.
- Yeah?
What were you doing?
- Come on.
I mean, there's flirtation
there, of course.
I admit it, but it's flattering,
nothing more.
Are you okay?
- I don't know.
Am I?
- It's harmless.
- I'm not hungry.
- Well, that went well.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Today's the 15th.
- It's the 16th over here.
- I can't wait
to see you tomorrow.
- Me too.
Well, I was just
leaving the apartment, Sherrie.
I'm sorry.
You know,
so much to do before I leave.
- That's okay.
Then I'll see you tomorrow.
- Ciao.
- Ciao.
- So can we talk
when I get home tonight?
- Absolutely.
- All right.
I got to go.
- Well, skedaddle.
- So have a good day.
Hey, Sam, I mean that.
- You too.
- How are you doing today?
Mostly...
I just hate you.
- What do you hate about me?
Okay.
I like your chain.
I noticed it earlier.
But it's broken.
What does that mean?
- Freedom.
- It was groundbreaking,
in regards to the style
and the kind of stories
you told.
- Drover Boy?
It was about a cattle drive
in the Australian Outback.
- Such a sweeping,
romantic canvas.
The crossing
of an entire continent
while searching for the boy.
- Who is a girl.
- Dressed as a boy.
Believe me,
when you're 17 and coming out,
you'll take inspiration
in whatever form it comes.
Oh, and all that
delicious description
about what he sees
along the way,
from a man.
- You mean the drover?
- You.
- I don't know.
God, I haven't thought
about that in a long time.
- Where did that come from?
- God only knows.
- From high in that ivory tower
of yours.
- Give me a break.
Damn.
You aced me.
- Of course I did.
- Do you care for tuna melts?
- I've never had one.
- Oh, then it's settled.
- Groundbreaking.
- Hi.
- Hey.
You went late.
- Yeah, I did.
What are you looking at?
- My roots.
- That's good.
I called you today.
- Well, I never heard it ring.
- Did you see this?
- Nope.
- Andy Koch won the Hugo.
- Goddamn it!
Oh, he's a fucking slime.
He ruined Bluebird.
- You never said that before.
- I'm saying it now.
- Look, Sam, there's probably
a more constructive way
you could look at this.
- Please.
What am I, one of your kids?
- You know what?
Forget about it, okay?
I'm just trying to help.
- Hey, um...
I'm really sorry.
It's my problem.
I get that.
Mary?
- Come here.
- That's the one I used to love,
that skirt.
First time we went out.
- Tell me more.
- Weren't we supposed to talk?
- What was that?
- You said you wanted it crazy.
Oh, Sam.
- Oh, shit.
- Me too.
Where'd you learn that?
- TV.
- Oh, my God, Sam.
- Hello.
- I finally read it.
- What?
- Jack's email!
- You never looked at it?
- 'Cause I knew.
Of course I knew.
He wants me to visit.
- Oh.
Then maybe you should.
- What?
- You said it yourself.
You're holding on.
Maybe this'll help.
- Let's go for it.
- Me?
- Sammy, if I don't go now,
I never will.
- It does this sometimes.
- We're already late.
- Let's take yours.
- I don't own one.
- The Mustang?
- No, that's Paul's.
I can't touch it.
- Oh.
You really are the housewife.
- Oh, screw you.
- Plan B.
- Morning.
- Oh, hi.
- It's right over there.
Upstairs.
- What do you need,
about an hour?
- How long does it take?
- So, Sam.
- Yeah.
- What goes through your head?
- When?
- When you watch me.
- Come on.
It just happened once.
- Do you touch yourself?
- What?
- Masturbate.
- No.
- Why not?
- It's against my religion.
Haven't you ever wanted to have
a fully open conversation
with a member
of the opposite sex?
No agenda?
- Maybe.
But I never thought about it
enough to want to pursue it.
- Oh, come on.
Now is your chance.
So?
- Okay, sometimes I do...
later.
- What?
- What you asked.
- Oh.
What do you think about?
- I think about a lot
of different things, you know.
- And when you're having sex?
- Okay, like, sometimes...
well, I'll think about burgers.
- Hamburgers?
- Yes.
- When I'm getting a little too,
you know, excited,
and I don't want to...
- Go on.
- Well, it's like they're
on the grill,
you know,
and they're grass-fed.
There's not much fat,
so you only need
about two or three minutes
a side,
and then you flip them over.
- And if you're losing it?
Yeah.
- Well, then,
I think about something...
- Sweet and sexy?
- Yes.
- Like... me?
- No, the thought
never entered my mind.
- Oh, please.
I know what you think.
I can see it in your eyes.
- You can?
- You are totally busted.
- Okay, fine.
Then I don't have
to lie about it.
- I'm down with that.
- You are.
- You're a man.
I'm a woman.
It doesn't mean
that we're doing anything.
- Mm-hmm.
- This is awesome.
- This?
- Conversation.
- It is.
It's kind of good.
- Mm-hmm.
- Liberating.
- Yeah.
Because I wonder,
sometimes guys,
they just turn off,
you know, for no reason.
So what's it like for you,
getting older?
- What?
- I mean, is
is it really the same?
- Yeah.
I'm gonna wait outside.
- Thanks.
- Mm-hmm.
Do you ever just
want to have a conversation?
With no agenda.
- You have questions?
- I don't know.
Do you?
- Do you have a week?
So you do.
- Well...
What's it like for you
to notice less attention
as the years go by?
- You don't think
I'm attractive?
- Sure I do.
- Oh, God, you think I'm old?
- Of course not.
I think you're beautiful.
- Oh, come on, Sam.
You don't have to say that.
- I'm not just saying that.
So, what, is that
what this is about, huh?
- Yeah, people
treat me differently.
- People?
- Yeah.
- Oh, you mean women.
- People.
- How does that make you feel?
- Come on, you know
how it makes me feel.
I'm just seeing it, you know?
Time's marching on
for all of us.
- Of course it marches on.
I just try not to dwell on it.
- But we need to.
I mean, don't you ever want to
just stop and smell the roses?
- Roses?
What?
Oh.
You mean young tender buds,
huh, like her.
- No, that's not my point
at all.
I want to wake up!
- Are you angry with me?
- How?
- I don't know.
Is this some sort
of male/female thing
because I make more money
than you?
- I'm making no money!
- Forget it.
I don't want to go there.
- And I'm grateful.
- For what?
- For you supporting me.
- Look, in the beginning,
that's what it was.
We needed the money.
I actually like my work.
In the room,
I feel connected to people.
It's...
It's very intimate.
- And that's
what you don't get here?
- That's a good question.
I'm not old.
Crap.
- Oh, Sammy.
- Are we playing?
- Don't you need to create?
- I'm six months late.
What's another day?
- I told Paul.
Four years ago,
I had gone in for a checkup,
and, lo and behold...
It turned out I was positive.
But I couldn't believe it,
you know?
How did it happen?
I had been careful.
And when I asked him,
Jack denied everything.
No, sir, not him.
- He lied?
- I didn't think so.
But three days later,
he broke up with me.
Zip.
- And the email?
- He wanted to come clean.
- So...
now you're done with it?
- Sammy, I have to be.
- So how are you?
- Well, okay, I guess.
In a way, I'm fine.
- I am so sorry, Jeff.
I had no idea.
And Paul?
- He's good.
That's the problem.
- That's a problem?
- It's that I'm not.
- I have it;
He doesn't.
It's a bitch, you know?
And what's he got
to look forward to?
- But he knew, right?
- From the absolute beginning.
- So maybe he loves you.
The little I get,
it feels very deep.
- That's it, isn't it?
Love.
That's what you write about.
- I have a theory.
It's a zero-sum game.
- Love?
- For every joy,
there's a sorrow.
You and Jack connect,
but that's pain for Paul.
You and Paul
bring sadness to Jack.
On the one hand, there's joy.
On the other,
not so much joy.
In the end, everything's equal.
- You're such a loser.
- Why?
- Well, if that's all it is,
we should all slit our wrists.
No, what you're offering
is only part of it.
You're leaving out
the inspired act,
you know,
the impassioned leap forward,
the preemptive strike
of the samurai.
Granted, it's a shaky progress,
but progress nonetheless.
- How do you know?
- Because I, too, have a theory.
- One step forward,
a half step back,
but definite movement.
Like Jack sends an email,
you propose to Mary.
- You knock on my door.
- Exactly.
That's love too.
- Maybe you're right.
I hope you are.
- I think I saw him
on the river.
- You did?
- He's homeless,
and his name is James.
He's got a new name now.
- James.
- Mm-hmm.
And he's very surprised
to be there.
- He doesn't know
why he's there?
- No, he knows why,
but he has this kind of
wake-up moment.
- Sam?
Oh, God.
- Hello?
Honey Bear?
- Hey, it's me.
- Hey.
- How's it going?
- Pretty good.
- Yeah, what are you doing?
- Working away.
- How's Howie?
- James.
He's James now.
- James?
- Yeah, he's changed.
- Why?
- Well, he was stuck.
- Stuck how?
- Mute.
Immobile.
- Is he stuck now?
- He feels unfettered.
- Well, that's no surprise.
- What do you mean?
- Yeah, because I'm actually
home right now.
- You're home?
- I'm standing in the house,
Sam.
You know,
and correct me if I'm wrong,
but you and James
are remarkably absent.
Where are you?
- I'm next door.
Mary? Mary!
Aw, Mary, come on.
Come on.
Are you tipsy?
- Not nearly enough.
- What about the car?
- Sherrie drove.
We talked...
a lot.
- Great.
- So why do you lie?
- You mean today?
- Yeah, you want to start
with Sherman Oaks?
- That's easy.
Jeff really needed to see Jack.
- And you?
- Well, he needed support.
He's my friend.
- Your new friend.
So you couldn't just tell me?
You know, you couldn't just say,
"Honey,
"I need to go to Sherman Oaks
"'cause Jeff, my new friend,
"needs to have closure
with his lover,
and he wants me
to hold his hand"?
"Oh, and, by the way,
we're gonna pick up Sherrie
so she and I can talk
about fucking all afternoon."
- Well, you see
why I couldn't say anything?
I mean, Jesus, that sounds bad.
- It is bad.
- Look, Mary.
You know, I'm supposed to be
doing thisthis thing,
working, being successful.
- Says who?
- Me!
And you and the situation,
you know?
There's a lot of pressure.
- How?
- You're calling all the time,
and Warren's calling,
so I turned off the phone.
- But I call to encourage you.
- And you have expectations.
- Okay.
Fine, I do.
But, Jesus,
you could be
a little bit more forthcoming.
- I am trying to be,
but what can I tell you?
I'mI'm a guy!
- Jeff's a guy!
You talk to Jeff.
Jesus, what is he, your muse?
- No, but I got to tell you,
it's amazing, because we really
talk quite a bit.
- Wow.
Thanks a lot.
Anyway, that's...
That's what worries me,
'cause you know
where talking gets you, huh?
Look where it got us.
- Oh, come on.
I'm not gonna fuck Jeff.
I am really not interested.
I am an asshole.
- Did you get my message?
- Can you just...
show me the room?
Just do it.
Walk to the bed.
- Okay.
Is that okay?
- I just wanted to see it
one last time.
- Hey, you okay?
You want to talk about it?
Is there something I can do,
anything I can do,
to make it up to you?
- Yeah, you can stop lusting
after the neighbors.
I'm serious, Sam.
I don't get it.
You're all over the place,
you know?
What is this,
some sort of midlife crisis?
- Midlife crisis, that hurts.
- Well, it's real.
- Well,
she does put it out there.
- Who?
- Your pal, Sherrie.
- What are you talking about?
- In the backyard.
Au naturel.
- You stalk her?
- You know,
it would be impossible not to.
- What, like over the fence?
- The window.
And not an ounce of fat.
- There is actually something
you can do for me.
I left my book bag in the car.
Keys?
- It's unlocked.
- What are you doing?
Damn it.
Hey.
Hey, you can't do this.
- You just earned
a big time-out.
- An almost naked time-out?
I don't think so.
Mary.
- Sammy.
Are you okay?
- She locked me out.
- Well, aren't you freezing?
- I really haven't had a second
to think about it.
- Well, come inside.
- No, I don't think
that's a good idea.
- Oh, come on.
- Well.
- What?
- Thank you.
- So...
to what do we owe the pleasure?
- She threw me out.
- Domestic dispute?
- You could say that.
- Over?
- She's confused.
- Yeah?
- Uh, well, we've been spending
some time together.
- We?
- He and I and Sherrie,
you know, from the back.
- I understand you escorted
Jeffrey to the Valley.
- Yeah.
- To see an old partner.
- We did.
- You wouldn't consider that
a big fuck-you to me?
- He really needed to
you know, and I thought
No, wait a minute.
It wasn't against you.
- Are you getting some
with Jeffrey?
- Of course not.
- With the new hottie?
- Well, that's none
of your business, is it?
- Stand up.
- What?
- Up.
Up.
Turn around.
- Okay, what's so funny?
- You're not his type.
- Obviously.
- I meanno, I mean,
I'm not his type,
but you...
I hope I have half your game
when I'm your age.
- Was that a compliment?
- I believe that it was.
- That's pretty confusing.
- You want to talk?
- Do we have to talk now?
- No, Sammy, we don't.
It's been a very long day.
Can I get you some clothes?
- Is he gonna survive?
- I think.
- He seems...
defeated.
- Depressed.
- Why depressed?
- He's an artist.
- Corey Heinz
is looking for an intern.
- At the Contemporary?
- It's minimum wage.
- I don't care.
Oh, my God, should I call him?
- I threw your name in the hat.
- You did?
When?
- This morning.
- Shh.
Shh.
- Okay.
- Peeping Tom.
- What the hell?
For real?
- You could have just knocked.
- I know. I'm sorry.
I just...
I wanted you to come home.
- Because you
- Because we're married.
Or maybe that's
no big deal to you.
- Of course it is.
I asked.
You accepted.
We had a ceremony.
- All right, so could you please
just come home
and value it
with some integrity?
- What are you talking about?
I do, every day.
- You do?
What does that look like?
- What do you mean?
- I mean honesty and openness,
no matter what.
- I try!
I do, but every time, we just
I have no idea what I could say
that's gonna make any difference
in this situation.
- That is so you to give up.
You know, just when you're
on the brink of something,
you just give up.
So guess what.
Now it's my turn.
I'm sorry.
- She's right.
I let her down...
in so many ways.
- You have to tell her...
what's going on
in the ivory tower.
- There's nothing going on.
- Is that the truth?
- In a way, you know...
there's a lot going on.
- Yes.
- Like even here, you and I,
the things that we talk about,
they're like...
They're parts of myself
that I've put aside
and literally forgotten.
Like my passion, I mean,
where did that go?
- Did it walk out the door?
- No, I'm not putting that
on her.
It's mine.
It's me,
and I lost it.
- Then maybe it's time
for the inspired act,
the preemptive strike
of the samurai.
Take a stand for yourself
and what you want.
- I got to go.
Thanks, Jeff.
- Hi.
- Why are you here?
I want to tell you
that I feel bad for lying to you
and taking advantage of you
and for not owning up,
and I'm doing my best,
right now,
to just keep talking
and not disappear.
- Do you want out?
- Ofof what?
- Us.
- No, not in the least.
- Are you sure?
- It's the one thing
I'm absolutely sure of.
Do you?
- I don't know.
I really don't.
I know I don't want it
like this.
- I can understand that.
So why are you making
everything so miserable?
- You know, it's been six years
since Bluebird,
and honestly Bluebird was shit!
Each year,
it gets harder and harder.
I don't know if I have
what it takes, you know,
that thing, that shimmer,
you know?
I don't even know if what I have
to say is relevant any more.
I mean, I used to be on fire.
Now I'm like a washed-up
stay-at-home.
- What does that even mean?
You used to be the guy
that said to me
that if you could speak
to the heart of one person,
it was worth it.
That was Sam Tucker.
What happened to that guy?
- He got scared.
- Of what?
- Of everything.
Of failing!
Failing to provide,
failing to be vital, compelling,
failing to make you pregnant.
You know, it's easy to be cocky
when you're 20,
but I don't feel that way
anymore.
- Well, who does?
Jesus, you're in
the shit-or-shut-up years.
So what do you see?
- I create exactly what I fear.
- Yeah, I can see that.
- What do you see?
- I'm disappointed.
I'm really disappointed.
I mean, I could dig in at work
and be happy.
I could.
But I don't want that.
I want it at home with you,
you know, with us.
- I guess I've been asleep
for most of my life.
And waking up
doesn't happen all at once.
It's a hell of a fight
back to the surface,
and nothing is certain.
You might not make it.
- Tucker, regular?
- Hey, wait a minute.
You got a orange Creamsicle?
- Yeah.
- It takes, well,
okay, love mostly.
Yeah, that.
I guess that is what
I write about,
when I write.
You never know
from where it will come...
- Or where it will land.
Across an entire continent?
Across the river?
Across the fence?
So let it in.
- Let it go.
Don't disappear.
- There comes a day
Without warning
And it keeps on slowing
Like the river
I walked away
Without knowing
And I keep on going
Like a blind sheep
So strange
So unruly
So close
So familiar
There comes a day
In the storming
For the banks overflowing
Taking down the stone
Oh, without warning
Oh
Without warning
So strange
So unruly
So close
So familiar
- Ahh
Ahh
Ahh
- Without warning
- Ahh
- Without warning
Ah, ah
Ah, oh
Oh, oh, oh
Ah, ah
for most of my life.
Oh, there were moments
of clarity,
flashes,
snapshots in time.
But overall, a long slide
through dreamland.
But wait.
That's me.
I do remember that
and that.
Those were good times.
The artist as a young man.
The world was my oyster.
But, you know,
I wondered about it, even then
the success,
the adulation.
Was it real?
Did I deserve it?
Or was I an imposter?
I mean, I did the work.
Well, I did some work.
But when it all fell away,
it was almost a relief,
a validation of my suspicions
about myself.
Then what are you left with
when all that dries up?
Alcohol? Women?
I went there, big time.
It seemed harmless at first.
Then I almost lost it all,
everything,
even my lovely wife, Mary.
Ask her.
She'll tell you.
I miss it.
She knows I do.
The glory days.
So when the guys next door
rented out their guest house
to Mary's pal Sherrie,
I can't say
that I didn't notice.
I mean, come on.
But around here, it seems like
everyone's got their issues,
even me.
Because, I admit it,
sleep,
it can be nice.
- Tucker, it's Warren.
So what happened
to the deadline?
To say we need to talk
is an understatement.
- Can you get that?
Sam?
- Is this yours?
- It looks like it.
- We heard you out there.
- Where?
- Outside the window.
You degenerate.
Next time, we turn you in.
- What was that?
- Um, the guy from next door
brought back our flashlight.
- Oh, he borrowed it?
- Not exactly.
Is this ours?
- I don't know.
Ooh, I got to go.
I'm late.
Bye.
- Here's your fucking
flashlight.
- Hey, watch your language.
- This is ours.
You think I was spying?
What's wrong with you?
- Is there something wrong
with us?
- Don't do that.
You're not baiting me.
I got plenty of gay friends,
and I'm not putting up with it
from you or your associate.
- One, two, three.
One, two, three.
One, two, three.
- Hey.
- What you doing?
- Nothing.
I'm just driving home.
- Can I tell you again
how much I love this place?
- Oh, I'm so glad.
Hey, what about
the hot Italian guy?
- He's still hot.
- Yeah?
Like a meatball sandwich, huh?
- Meaty and sweaty and
- Okay, all right, got it.
Can't wait to meet him.
Sam.
Sam, wewe're gonna be late.
- She's my sister, so...
- She's done a really good job.
- You one of the staff here?
- Oh, my wife.
Just recently.
- Congratulations.
- She just renewed her license.
- The one with the orange?
- Mm-hmm.
- Everyone seems
to really like her.
- I'm Sam.
- Mike.
- What's your connection here?
- Senior Therapist.
I retire in two months.
- Good for you.
- Thanks.
- Although I don't know if I'd
ever personally use that word
retirement.
A lot of people
would say I'm retired already.
Nothing much would change, so...
Are you looking forward to
- Did you have a good time?
- It's not really my crowd.
- Yeah, what's your crowd?
- Good point.
You?
- I did. I had a nice time.
- You're sure you're okay
with it,
going back to work?
- Oh, Sam, come on.
I'm working,
and I'm excited.
- Come on.
Don't be stupid.
- Don't insult me.
- Things won't always
be so good.
- You think I don't know that?
- So appreciate it.
- I need more.
- Than a roof over your head?
- You know
what I'm talking about.
You know exactly!
- But we're doing fine.
We're doing so well.
- "So well" falls very short.
- Tucker, it's Warren.
I'm taking some real heat here.
They're gonna kick it
over to legal.
I can't protect you,
not this time.
- Sam, I thought you said
you were gonna call him back.
- Oh, I did.
I, um, I left him a message.
- Legal?
- He exaggerates.
He's an agent.
- All right, have a good day.
- You too.
- Hi.
I came to apologize.
- Don't worry about it.
- That flashlight could have
been there for a while.
The batteries were dead.
Maybe we heard a skunk.
I'm on my way
to the post office,
but to make amends,
may I buy you a coffee?
- Jane.
Hi, I'm Mary Tucker.
Do you want to come on in?
Okay, I'm gonna step back
in my office.
You come in when you're ready.
- So you're the wife, like me?
- Well, I'm not sure
I would describe it like that.
- No, no, no, of course not.
- But Paul would.
And the crazy thing...
I have no idea
how I arrived here.
Paul, Paul has a job.
Paul has a life.
- You don't have a life?
- I suppose I do,
but... boring.
- What's your thing?
- Literature.
Critical studies.
But my dream...
photography, fine art.
I'll own a gallery someday.
- That's pretty specific.
Did you study it?
- No, but I've got applications
everywhere.
Paul has friends in high places,
but he needs me at home.
But enough about me.
What about you that you can be
at the house so much?
- Oh, I stay pretty busy.
- And if you don't mind
my asking...
- I write.
- How exciting.
- Graphic novels.
- Anything I might have seen?
- Well, my first,
some years ago,
was called Grand Central.
- Oh, my God.
Sam Tucker?
What happened?
- What?
- You know what they say,
Never meet your heroes.
- That doesn't sound good.
- You were a chapter
of my dissertation.
I devoured you.
Until Bluebird.
- Ha, fair enough.
- So what are you
working on now?
- Truthfully?
- Of course.
- Nothing.
- I don't understand.
- I'm kind of stuck right now.
Howie sits.
- Howie?
- My protagonist.
- So let's talk about it.
- Talk?
- Of course.
- Um, excuse me.
Hello.
- Hey, how's your day going?
- Good.
- Yeah, what are you doing?
- Slogging along.
- What's that noise?
- I came down to the crossing.
- With your laptop?
- Yeah.
- Does that battery work?
- I plugged it in.
- You sound weird.
- Will you stop saying that?
Good night.
- Night.
Okay, Howie, give it up.
You got anything?
- Oh.
- Today we're making
peppered pork
with a cognac pan sauce.
So let's start
with our fresh ingredients,
a mlange of peppercorns,
fennel,
garlic, vegetable oil, sea salt,
and a flawless
5-pound pork butt.
- Oh. Ah.
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
- Oh, yeah.
Oh!
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
- It's Warren.
So they did it.
It's with legal.
They're gonna sue.
They want your advance back
and now damages on top.
You could have prevented this
any number of ways.
I'd appreciate any kind
of goddamn response.
- So what's this about, Sam?
Do you like what you see?
- I have no idea
how to answer that.
- You feeling a little funny
in your pants?
Sam?
What are you doing in there?
- Hey, Tucker.
The usual?
- Make it a double.
- You okay, man?
- Yeah, you know.
I just woke up.
- That's the life.
- Found it.
The dissertation.
"After his first two works
were largely overlooked,
"Samuel Tucker began to fear
that there was no appreciation
"for the serious artist
"in a culture obsessed
with constant stimulation.
"So the agenda for
the third book, Bluebird Sky,
"a collaboration
with then novice Andrew Koch,
"was to dumb it down
and to incorporate
"humorous reportage
on contemporary society
"along with more broadly
drawn characters.
"The novel was overshadowed
by the derivative motion picture
"which opened to mixed reviews,
"but they attracted
a crass mass-market audience,
which was not at all the kind
of following Tucker coveted."
- Wait a minute.
You make me sound...
elitist.
- Hello.
Did you meet the actors?
- I refused to go to the set.
- You dolt.
- It was sophomoric.
- Parts were so funny.
The miniature golf scene,
come on.
- Fine.
I love miniature golf.
- Shit.
Now what?
- Like the nice man
that you are,
you wait for my turn.
- Yeah.
- What the hell?
- I thought
you were good at this.
- You know, Paul and I have
such a hard time making friends.
- How did you meet?
- Online.
- How long has it been?
- Two years, a month, four days.
- And you hit a rough patch.
- I'm holding on
to someone else.
- Who?
- My darling, Jack.
Now the bastard sends an email.
- Hey.
- Wow.
- When was the last time
I told you
how much I appreciate you?
- I can't remember.
- That's exactly what I thought.
Peppered pork.
- Nice.
Looks like you're enjoying
yourself.
They're good.
- You know what?
I am.
I had a pretty good day.
- How much have you had?
- There's the bottle.
Check it out.
- Sorry.
Can I help?
- Suit yourself.
- I'll set the table.
- Hey.
- Hey, were you home today?
- I was.
- Did you notice anything?
- What do you mean?
- At our house.
- Uh, no.
- Sam's acting weird.
There was this lip gloss.
- That is weird.
- Yeah, and two tea cups.
- Hmm.
- Passionate Peach.
That is not something
I would use.
- So it wasn't you.
- Well,
I did come by for a beer.
- A beer?
- Mar, Sam,
he seems so depressed.
He's at that age where he wants
to shake it while he can,
make hay, wild oats,
you know, or at least feel
like he could.
Can he?
- That's really personal.
Of course he can.
- I'll be honest.
I've thought about it.
I have.
- Thought about what?
- Sex.
- With my husband?
- Come on.
It's just a fantasy.
- Okay, you know what?
Forget about it.
Clearly I can see
this was a mistake.
- Why?
- You're still a mess.
- Bon apptit.
- Cheers.
- Did something happen at work?
- No, work's fine.
It's good, actually.
Are you depressed?
- Do I look depressed?
- You do have
some of the symptoms.
- Okay.
- All right, look.
Here's the deal.
Is there something
that you need to tell me?
I mean, I don't know.
Is something going on?
- No.
- Are you sure?
What's this?
- Oh, that.
It's, um, you know, Jeff.
- Jeff?
- Next door.
- Is that the truth?
- Of course it's the truth.
- And Sherrie?
- Yeah.
I mean... she stopped by.
- Why?
- I don't know.
She was just doing her thing.
- Yeah?
What were you doing?
- Come on.
I mean, there's flirtation
there, of course.
I admit it, but it's flattering,
nothing more.
Are you okay?
- I don't know.
Am I?
- It's harmless.
- I'm not hungry.
- Well, that went well.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Today's the 15th.
- It's the 16th over here.
- I can't wait
to see you tomorrow.
- Me too.
Well, I was just
leaving the apartment, Sherrie.
I'm sorry.
You know,
so much to do before I leave.
- That's okay.
Then I'll see you tomorrow.
- Ciao.
- Ciao.
- So can we talk
when I get home tonight?
- Absolutely.
- All right.
I got to go.
- Well, skedaddle.
- So have a good day.
Hey, Sam, I mean that.
- You too.
- How are you doing today?
Mostly...
I just hate you.
- What do you hate about me?
Okay.
I like your chain.
I noticed it earlier.
But it's broken.
What does that mean?
- Freedom.
- It was groundbreaking,
in regards to the style
and the kind of stories
you told.
- Drover Boy?
It was about a cattle drive
in the Australian Outback.
- Such a sweeping,
romantic canvas.
The crossing
of an entire continent
while searching for the boy.
- Who is a girl.
- Dressed as a boy.
Believe me,
when you're 17 and coming out,
you'll take inspiration
in whatever form it comes.
Oh, and all that
delicious description
about what he sees
along the way,
from a man.
- You mean the drover?
- You.
- I don't know.
God, I haven't thought
about that in a long time.
- Where did that come from?
- God only knows.
- From high in that ivory tower
of yours.
- Give me a break.
Damn.
You aced me.
- Of course I did.
- Do you care for tuna melts?
- I've never had one.
- Oh, then it's settled.
- Groundbreaking.
- Hi.
- Hey.
You went late.
- Yeah, I did.
What are you looking at?
- My roots.
- That's good.
I called you today.
- Well, I never heard it ring.
- Did you see this?
- Nope.
- Andy Koch won the Hugo.
- Goddamn it!
Oh, he's a fucking slime.
He ruined Bluebird.
- You never said that before.
- I'm saying it now.
- Look, Sam, there's probably
a more constructive way
you could look at this.
- Please.
What am I, one of your kids?
- You know what?
Forget about it, okay?
I'm just trying to help.
- Hey, um...
I'm really sorry.
It's my problem.
I get that.
Mary?
- Come here.
- That's the one I used to love,
that skirt.
First time we went out.
- Tell me more.
- Weren't we supposed to talk?
- What was that?
- You said you wanted it crazy.
Oh, Sam.
- Oh, shit.
- Me too.
Where'd you learn that?
- TV.
- Oh, my God, Sam.
- Hello.
- I finally read it.
- What?
- Jack's email!
- You never looked at it?
- 'Cause I knew.
Of course I knew.
He wants me to visit.
- Oh.
Then maybe you should.
- What?
- You said it yourself.
You're holding on.
Maybe this'll help.
- Let's go for it.
- Me?
- Sammy, if I don't go now,
I never will.
- It does this sometimes.
- We're already late.
- Let's take yours.
- I don't own one.
- The Mustang?
- No, that's Paul's.
I can't touch it.
- Oh.
You really are the housewife.
- Oh, screw you.
- Plan B.
- Morning.
- Oh, hi.
- It's right over there.
Upstairs.
- What do you need,
about an hour?
- How long does it take?
- So, Sam.
- Yeah.
- What goes through your head?
- When?
- When you watch me.
- Come on.
It just happened once.
- Do you touch yourself?
- What?
- Masturbate.
- No.
- Why not?
- It's against my religion.
Haven't you ever wanted to have
a fully open conversation
with a member
of the opposite sex?
No agenda?
- Maybe.
But I never thought about it
enough to want to pursue it.
- Oh, come on.
Now is your chance.
So?
- Okay, sometimes I do...
later.
- What?
- What you asked.
- Oh.
What do you think about?
- I think about a lot
of different things, you know.
- And when you're having sex?
- Okay, like, sometimes...
well, I'll think about burgers.
- Hamburgers?
- Yes.
- When I'm getting a little too,
you know, excited,
and I don't want to...
- Go on.
- Well, it's like they're
on the grill,
you know,
and they're grass-fed.
There's not much fat,
so you only need
about two or three minutes
a side,
and then you flip them over.
- And if you're losing it?
Yeah.
- Well, then,
I think about something...
- Sweet and sexy?
- Yes.
- Like... me?
- No, the thought
never entered my mind.
- Oh, please.
I know what you think.
I can see it in your eyes.
- You can?
- You are totally busted.
- Okay, fine.
Then I don't have
to lie about it.
- I'm down with that.
- You are.
- You're a man.
I'm a woman.
It doesn't mean
that we're doing anything.
- Mm-hmm.
- This is awesome.
- This?
- Conversation.
- It is.
It's kind of good.
- Mm-hmm.
- Liberating.
- Yeah.
Because I wonder,
sometimes guys,
they just turn off,
you know, for no reason.
So what's it like for you,
getting older?
- What?
- I mean, is
is it really the same?
- Yeah.
I'm gonna wait outside.
- Thanks.
- Mm-hmm.
Do you ever just
want to have a conversation?
With no agenda.
- You have questions?
- I don't know.
Do you?
- Do you have a week?
So you do.
- Well...
What's it like for you
to notice less attention
as the years go by?
- You don't think
I'm attractive?
- Sure I do.
- Oh, God, you think I'm old?
- Of course not.
I think you're beautiful.
- Oh, come on, Sam.
You don't have to say that.
- I'm not just saying that.
So, what, is that
what this is about, huh?
- Yeah, people
treat me differently.
- People?
- Yeah.
- Oh, you mean women.
- People.
- How does that make you feel?
- Come on, you know
how it makes me feel.
I'm just seeing it, you know?
Time's marching on
for all of us.
- Of course it marches on.
I just try not to dwell on it.
- But we need to.
I mean, don't you ever want to
just stop and smell the roses?
- Roses?
What?
Oh.
You mean young tender buds,
huh, like her.
- No, that's not my point
at all.
I want to wake up!
- Are you angry with me?
- How?
- I don't know.
Is this some sort
of male/female thing
because I make more money
than you?
- I'm making no money!
- Forget it.
I don't want to go there.
- And I'm grateful.
- For what?
- For you supporting me.
- Look, in the beginning,
that's what it was.
We needed the money.
I actually like my work.
In the room,
I feel connected to people.
It's...
It's very intimate.
- And that's
what you don't get here?
- That's a good question.
I'm not old.
Crap.
- Oh, Sammy.
- Are we playing?
- Don't you need to create?
- I'm six months late.
What's another day?
- I told Paul.
Four years ago,
I had gone in for a checkup,
and, lo and behold...
It turned out I was positive.
But I couldn't believe it,
you know?
How did it happen?
I had been careful.
And when I asked him,
Jack denied everything.
No, sir, not him.
- He lied?
- I didn't think so.
But three days later,
he broke up with me.
Zip.
- And the email?
- He wanted to come clean.
- So...
now you're done with it?
- Sammy, I have to be.
- So how are you?
- Well, okay, I guess.
In a way, I'm fine.
- I am so sorry, Jeff.
I had no idea.
And Paul?
- He's good.
That's the problem.
- That's a problem?
- It's that I'm not.
- I have it;
He doesn't.
It's a bitch, you know?
And what's he got
to look forward to?
- But he knew, right?
- From the absolute beginning.
- So maybe he loves you.
The little I get,
it feels very deep.
- That's it, isn't it?
Love.
That's what you write about.
- I have a theory.
It's a zero-sum game.
- Love?
- For every joy,
there's a sorrow.
You and Jack connect,
but that's pain for Paul.
You and Paul
bring sadness to Jack.
On the one hand, there's joy.
On the other,
not so much joy.
In the end, everything's equal.
- You're such a loser.
- Why?
- Well, if that's all it is,
we should all slit our wrists.
No, what you're offering
is only part of it.
You're leaving out
the inspired act,
you know,
the impassioned leap forward,
the preemptive strike
of the samurai.
Granted, it's a shaky progress,
but progress nonetheless.
- How do you know?
- Because I, too, have a theory.
- One step forward,
a half step back,
but definite movement.
Like Jack sends an email,
you propose to Mary.
- You knock on my door.
- Exactly.
That's love too.
- Maybe you're right.
I hope you are.
- I think I saw him
on the river.
- You did?
- He's homeless,
and his name is James.
He's got a new name now.
- James.
- Mm-hmm.
And he's very surprised
to be there.
- He doesn't know
why he's there?
- No, he knows why,
but he has this kind of
wake-up moment.
- Sam?
Oh, God.
- Hello?
Honey Bear?
- Hey, it's me.
- Hey.
- How's it going?
- Pretty good.
- Yeah, what are you doing?
- Working away.
- How's Howie?
- James.
He's James now.
- James?
- Yeah, he's changed.
- Why?
- Well, he was stuck.
- Stuck how?
- Mute.
Immobile.
- Is he stuck now?
- He feels unfettered.
- Well, that's no surprise.
- What do you mean?
- Yeah, because I'm actually
home right now.
- You're home?
- I'm standing in the house,
Sam.
You know,
and correct me if I'm wrong,
but you and James
are remarkably absent.
Where are you?
- I'm next door.
Mary? Mary!
Aw, Mary, come on.
Come on.
Are you tipsy?
- Not nearly enough.
- What about the car?
- Sherrie drove.
We talked...
a lot.
- Great.
- So why do you lie?
- You mean today?
- Yeah, you want to start
with Sherman Oaks?
- That's easy.
Jeff really needed to see Jack.
- And you?
- Well, he needed support.
He's my friend.
- Your new friend.
So you couldn't just tell me?
You know, you couldn't just say,
"Honey,
"I need to go to Sherman Oaks
"'cause Jeff, my new friend,
"needs to have closure
with his lover,
and he wants me
to hold his hand"?
"Oh, and, by the way,
we're gonna pick up Sherrie
so she and I can talk
about fucking all afternoon."
- Well, you see
why I couldn't say anything?
I mean, Jesus, that sounds bad.
- It is bad.
- Look, Mary.
You know, I'm supposed to be
doing thisthis thing,
working, being successful.
- Says who?
- Me!
And you and the situation,
you know?
There's a lot of pressure.
- How?
- You're calling all the time,
and Warren's calling,
so I turned off the phone.
- But I call to encourage you.
- And you have expectations.
- Okay.
Fine, I do.
But, Jesus,
you could be
a little bit more forthcoming.
- I am trying to be,
but what can I tell you?
I'mI'm a guy!
- Jeff's a guy!
You talk to Jeff.
Jesus, what is he, your muse?
- No, but I got to tell you,
it's amazing, because we really
talk quite a bit.
- Wow.
Thanks a lot.
Anyway, that's...
That's what worries me,
'cause you know
where talking gets you, huh?
Look where it got us.
- Oh, come on.
I'm not gonna fuck Jeff.
I am really not interested.
I am an asshole.
- Did you get my message?
- Can you just...
show me the room?
Just do it.
Walk to the bed.
- Okay.
Is that okay?
- I just wanted to see it
one last time.
- Hey, you okay?
You want to talk about it?
Is there something I can do,
anything I can do,
to make it up to you?
- Yeah, you can stop lusting
after the neighbors.
I'm serious, Sam.
I don't get it.
You're all over the place,
you know?
What is this,
some sort of midlife crisis?
- Midlife crisis, that hurts.
- Well, it's real.
- Well,
she does put it out there.
- Who?
- Your pal, Sherrie.
- What are you talking about?
- In the backyard.
Au naturel.
- You stalk her?
- You know,
it would be impossible not to.
- What, like over the fence?
- The window.
And not an ounce of fat.
- There is actually something
you can do for me.
I left my book bag in the car.
Keys?
- It's unlocked.
- What are you doing?
Damn it.
Hey.
Hey, you can't do this.
- You just earned
a big time-out.
- An almost naked time-out?
I don't think so.
Mary.
- Sammy.
Are you okay?
- She locked me out.
- Well, aren't you freezing?
- I really haven't had a second
to think about it.
- Well, come inside.
- No, I don't think
that's a good idea.
- Oh, come on.
- Well.
- What?
- Thank you.
- So...
to what do we owe the pleasure?
- She threw me out.
- Domestic dispute?
- You could say that.
- Over?
- She's confused.
- Yeah?
- Uh, well, we've been spending
some time together.
- We?
- He and I and Sherrie,
you know, from the back.
- I understand you escorted
Jeffrey to the Valley.
- Yeah.
- To see an old partner.
- We did.
- You wouldn't consider that
a big fuck-you to me?
- He really needed to
you know, and I thought
No, wait a minute.
It wasn't against you.
- Are you getting some
with Jeffrey?
- Of course not.
- With the new hottie?
- Well, that's none
of your business, is it?
- Stand up.
- What?
- Up.
Up.
Turn around.
- Okay, what's so funny?
- You're not his type.
- Obviously.
- I meanno, I mean,
I'm not his type,
but you...
I hope I have half your game
when I'm your age.
- Was that a compliment?
- I believe that it was.
- That's pretty confusing.
- You want to talk?
- Do we have to talk now?
- No, Sammy, we don't.
It's been a very long day.
Can I get you some clothes?
- Is he gonna survive?
- I think.
- He seems...
defeated.
- Depressed.
- Why depressed?
- He's an artist.
- Corey Heinz
is looking for an intern.
- At the Contemporary?
- It's minimum wage.
- I don't care.
Oh, my God, should I call him?
- I threw your name in the hat.
- You did?
When?
- This morning.
- Shh.
Shh.
- Okay.
- Peeping Tom.
- What the hell?
For real?
- You could have just knocked.
- I know. I'm sorry.
I just...
I wanted you to come home.
- Because you
- Because we're married.
Or maybe that's
no big deal to you.
- Of course it is.
I asked.
You accepted.
We had a ceremony.
- All right, so could you please
just come home
and value it
with some integrity?
- What are you talking about?
I do, every day.
- You do?
What does that look like?
- What do you mean?
- I mean honesty and openness,
no matter what.
- I try!
I do, but every time, we just
I have no idea what I could say
that's gonna make any difference
in this situation.
- That is so you to give up.
You know, just when you're
on the brink of something,
you just give up.
So guess what.
Now it's my turn.
I'm sorry.
- She's right.
I let her down...
in so many ways.
- You have to tell her...
what's going on
in the ivory tower.
- There's nothing going on.
- Is that the truth?
- In a way, you know...
there's a lot going on.
- Yes.
- Like even here, you and I,
the things that we talk about,
they're like...
They're parts of myself
that I've put aside
and literally forgotten.
Like my passion, I mean,
where did that go?
- Did it walk out the door?
- No, I'm not putting that
on her.
It's mine.
It's me,
and I lost it.
- Then maybe it's time
for the inspired act,
the preemptive strike
of the samurai.
Take a stand for yourself
and what you want.
- I got to go.
Thanks, Jeff.
- Hi.
- Why are you here?
I want to tell you
that I feel bad for lying to you
and taking advantage of you
and for not owning up,
and I'm doing my best,
right now,
to just keep talking
and not disappear.
- Do you want out?
- Ofof what?
- Us.
- No, not in the least.
- Are you sure?
- It's the one thing
I'm absolutely sure of.
Do you?
- I don't know.
I really don't.
I know I don't want it
like this.
- I can understand that.
So why are you making
everything so miserable?
- You know, it's been six years
since Bluebird,
and honestly Bluebird was shit!
Each year,
it gets harder and harder.
I don't know if I have
what it takes, you know,
that thing, that shimmer,
you know?
I don't even know if what I have
to say is relevant any more.
I mean, I used to be on fire.
Now I'm like a washed-up
stay-at-home.
- What does that even mean?
You used to be the guy
that said to me
that if you could speak
to the heart of one person,
it was worth it.
That was Sam Tucker.
What happened to that guy?
- He got scared.
- Of what?
- Of everything.
Of failing!
Failing to provide,
failing to be vital, compelling,
failing to make you pregnant.
You know, it's easy to be cocky
when you're 20,
but I don't feel that way
anymore.
- Well, who does?
Jesus, you're in
the shit-or-shut-up years.
So what do you see?
- I create exactly what I fear.
- Yeah, I can see that.
- What do you see?
- I'm disappointed.
I'm really disappointed.
I mean, I could dig in at work
and be happy.
I could.
But I don't want that.
I want it at home with you,
you know, with us.
- I guess I've been asleep
for most of my life.
And waking up
doesn't happen all at once.
It's a hell of a fight
back to the surface,
and nothing is certain.
You might not make it.
- Tucker, regular?
- Hey, wait a minute.
You got a orange Creamsicle?
- Yeah.
- It takes, well,
okay, love mostly.
Yeah, that.
I guess that is what
I write about,
when I write.
You never know
from where it will come...
- Or where it will land.
Across an entire continent?
Across the river?
Across the fence?
So let it in.
- Let it go.
Don't disappear.
- There comes a day
Without warning
And it keeps on slowing
Like the river
I walked away
Without knowing
And I keep on going
Like a blind sheep
So strange
So unruly
So close
So familiar
There comes a day
In the storming
For the banks overflowing
Taking down the stone
Oh, without warning
Oh
Without warning
So strange
So unruly
So close
So familiar
- Ahh
Ahh
Ahh
- Without warning
- Ahh
- Without warning
Ah, ah
Ah, oh
Oh, oh, oh
Ah, ah